#I REFUSE. TO BE. SILENT.

[bamfwizard]

as a transmasc minor in a US state where we are very explicitly unwelcome by government standards, let's talk about Nex Benedict.

(apologies for a very scrambled rant but I have many. many. things to say. please read TWs)

I am SO UPSET because I have not seen a SINGLE PERSON talking about the update in his case. The rage and frustration and grief on my fyp died within a week or so. I am still so, so mad. And today's update made me 10x even angrier.

Nex Benedict's death was self-inflicted. But let's not pretend it's not worth talking about. Let's not blame it on the "trans mental illness", let' blame it on the BULLIES. Let's blame it on the INSUFFICIENT TRANS HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. Let's blame it on the state of Oklahoma beinga douchebag to trans minors. Let's blame it on how SUFFOCATING it is to live as a trans youth in this country. Every few weeks, I watch as another state falls to hate and discrimination. I hear about more murd3rs of trans women, more 0verdoses, more deaths. I am scared of EVERYONE and EVERYTHING because I don't know who the disease that is transphobia has infected. I am scared of being beat up in a bathroom or harassed at work or school or my government taking my future possibility of finding true joy and freedom away.

And let's not forget the negligence of police at the face of a hate crime. I hope that tonight, their pillows are warm and they lay awake, feeling the blood on their hands. There is blood on their hands. I wish the same for everyone who stood by as Nex was bullied, beaten, and ignored to the point of breaking. This needs to be a wake up call to anyone who hasn't seen the effects of transphobia in systems of government, in schools, in the police system.

If you are trans, especially trans youth, I love you. We will power through. Nex is not a sign of the end for us, but hopefully, an end for them. Become active in your local trans spaces. Speak out. Speak up. You are alive, you are breathing, and we cannot let them take that. Transphobia will not win.

I have more thoughts, but my heart just can't right now. Stick it to the man. ACAB. Trans rights. Remember Nex Benedict.

[mooneggtarts]

Radioapple week: Day 2 (Enemies)

Good thing the girls stops them before things gets WAY nastier than this! It is very intentional that Lucifer's wounds look like he was trying to tame a wild cat (Alastor) huaha!

[rheakira]

I've come to temporarily break my hiatus to bring up something deeply important. Because after a recent event, if I have to go another day without talking about it, I don't know what I'll do.

Fandoms have an enormous issue when it comes to bigotry and people feeling comfortable enough to be openly bigoted.

And I want to make it clear: everyone is capable of it. In fact, most people do it more often than they don't. But because this strange myth has been built up that if you aren't "blatantly saying slurs" or "killing others" it can't possibly be bigotry, we have done nothing but become dangerous behind closed doors.

If your friend has odd beef with a person of color in the fandom and holds them to standards they don't hold their white friends to, that is bigotry. If your friend feels some sort of way about the trans person in your friend group and tries to come up with reasons for why they specifically can't stay, that is also bigotry. If your group insists that a person with a personality disorder is making it up just for attention and uses that as a reason for why they can't be around them, that is bigotry as well.

I've never been upfront about it because... why do I, as a human being, need to be upfront about my identity when people randomly decide what I am? But I am in fact a person of color who is queer and disabled. Whenever I join a fandom group that is mostly white people, I am liked until this is discovered. And then I watch as people get brutal about things I do or say. Things that they don't do to other people in the group, and I also watch as they take my words and either twist them for convenience or ruin my reputation for it.

As a marginalized person, both in fandom and out, you are held to a unique standard that does not apply to other human beings around you. It makes doing what you love very difficult, because unfortunately as a marginalized person, people will always subconsciously side with the person trying to oppress or attack you. This has happened to me my entire life, from school to work spaces to even internet spaces claiming to be safe places.

People will say that they care about you and like you and even form a friendly bond with you, but the moment a person of privilege decides they do not like you very much, they can and will side with the other person even without proof of their issues with you. It's exhausting and ruins lives in places that should be fun and safe.

I am on my umpteenth experience with this exact cycle and I would be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like I couldn't live or breath in places I should be allowed to be involved in. It's a very real problem that refuses to end because no one has the courage to challenge it. I am speaking not only on my own experiences, but for the many other people of color or queers or disabled people who simply cannot join these so called "safe spaces" because of our identities conflicting with people who have been taught that we are lesser and not worth love or care.

If this is a problem you face, please know that I see you and I love you. It's hard to keep surviving in a world that wants to hurt you and leaves you abandoned and alone. I want you to know that the world is scary, but we all exist. You should be allowed to experience joy and fun without feeling like you're being suffocated and wanting to die.

You matter. The people around you that make you feel like you don't are nothing by comparison. You matter and I truly hope that we'll one day find each other and become the safe space that we deserve.

The marginalized people in your fandom are more important than your fictional characters and plotlines that you put above us. We're here and we're not leaving. Learn to live with us and protect us.

If we're truly your friends, you would care when your privileged "friends" want to remove us.

Additionally, please do not take this rant and make it only about white people who are part of these marginalized categories. This is a post about EVERYONE. Including the people of color around you. Do not remove us from this conversation. Care about ALL OF US if you support this at all. Thank you.

[howlsnteeth]

and are you really okay? are you really okay?

[knightofleo]

Akira Yamaoka | White Noiz + Forest from Silent HIll 2

[pinkresurrection]

📸: voguearabia

“These are but a handful of the doctors, journalists, and photographers who are risking their lives day and night to bury the dead, heal the wounded, and show the world the horrors raining down on Gaza.”

From top to bottom:

Plestia Alaqad, Journalist

Motaz Azaiza, Photographer

Youmna El-Qunsol, Journalist

Dr. Ghassan Abu-Sittah, Surgeon

Dr. Mohammed Al Ghoula, Doctor

[respectthepetty]

As a petty person, I'm proud that Yuan is going to play it as if he isn't still desperately in love with Qian and didn't pack his bags the second Qian told him that he could come home, but it would be far more convincing if Yuan took off that damn black bracelet.

It's like another character, haunting every scene and every interaction

staring me in my face and hurting my feelings because it's a constant reminder that Yuan is still connected to Qian even though they are separated.

So I felt it's absence in the scene where Yuan finally got to speak to Qian after three (four?) years of silence.

Yuan's left hand was never shown which is the wrist he wears the bracelet on. He held the phone with his right just like Qian who holds the phone with his right and wears a watch on the left.

But what's important is the red stairs on Qian's left.

I'm a color demon, but this is about the black bracelet on Yuan's left wrist missing from this scene when it was in the previous one of Yuan talking on the phone earlier in the episode.

In some countries, wedding rings are worn on the right hand. In other countries, wedding rings are worn on the left hand because it was believed that there was a vein that went directly from the left hand to the heart (awwww).

So perhaps Yuan didn't need the bracelet in this moment because the line that connected him to his heart (Qian) was present in another way.

But in Taiwan, wedding rings are worn on hands based on gender. Men wear theirs on the left and women wear theirs on the right. Beyond the gender element of it though is the simple notion that married couples wear their rings on opposite hands.

Yuan has been wearing this bracelet as if it was a silent commitment to Qian for all these years, and he continues to wear it upon his return.

But Qian gave him that bracelet!

Yuan wanted to be tied to Qian. He made that clear when Qian was tying his left hand in the red wrap.

So I loved that when Yuan returned and went to pick up Qian, he grabbed Qian with his left hand rather than his right which was the closer hand.

And when Yuan finally decides to walk away from Qian because he thinks Qian pities him, Qian will grab Yuan's left wrist to stop him.

As if he reinforcing that silent reminder, but not the one of Yuan always carrying Qian with him.

The silent reminder is the one that Qian gave Yuan his heart first.

That black bracelet is just as much about how Yuan still loves Qian as much as it is about how Qian has always loved Yuan.

Qian has always been committed to Yuan, silently.

And there were reminders throughout the entire episode.

Qian read every single message.

Qian didn't want to mess up Yuan's education.

Qian is never not thinking about Yuan because everything is a constant silent reminder of Yuan. His gift to Yuan was meant to serve as a reminder to Yuan that someone out there was thinking of him because Qian is always thinking of Yuan. That bracelet is a tangible artifact of what resides in Qian's heart.

And Yuan wants to remind him of that.

[harpoonsnotspoons]

Been listening to the Detective Pony audiobook a lot lately

[oreo-creampie]

Dragon! Satoru and Suguru who are obsessed with cumming in/breeding you

Dragon!suguru who loves to hoard art and books. He loves to paint you, sculpt statues of you, and asks you to read for him

Then there is dragon!satoru who loves sparkling jewelry and anything beautiful. Beautiful sights, songs, and people. Which is how you ended up in their tower, the best treasure they could watch over on their hoard

[anna-scribbles]

truest thing gabriel everrr said was that adrien had emilie's flair for the dramatics

[visualtaehyun]

Names, particles, aliens and ghosts, oh my!

Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, still learning 🙏

Ongsa & Alpha

Last week's episode started with the trio talking about the sisters' names:

Nunnapat Ampornsopon /Nan-na-phat Am-phaawn-soh-phohn/ Matthayom 4, class 6 (=10th grade) English

While we see this, Tin tells us Alpha's name too:

Napatsanun Ampornsopon นภัสนันท์ อัมพรโสภณ /Na-phat-sa-nan Am-phaawn-soh-phohn/

Her and Ongsa's first names have the exact same two words in them, just switcheroo'd:

นันท์ /nan/ = joy, happiness;

นภัส /na phat/ = sky, heaven

-> Quick pronunciation lesson: The final consonant in นภัส /na phat/ is called ส เสือ /saw seuua/ (= lit. S like the word for tiger) but in final position it's pronounced as a /t/. In Alpha's name, that same letter gets reduplicated to better link นภัส /na phat/ and นันท์ /nan/ so we get Napat-sa-nun!

Their last name Ampornsopon contains:

อัมพร /am phaawn/ = sky;

โสภณ /soh phohn/ = beautiful

Aylin

Her club application form was only shown in a Next Break preview last week, not the actual scene, but I wanted to take a look at it anyway:

Application to join the Astronomy Club Name: Aylin Kueaahree Grade: Matthayom 4, class 1 (=10th grade) Hobbies: Communicating with aliens Goal in joining the club: Searching for a friend/friends

Aylin is her first name, her last name is เกื้ออารีย์ /geuua aa ree/:

เกื้อ /geuua/ = to aid, do a favor, assist, lend a hand;

อารีย์ /ah ree/ = kind, generous

We saw her name properly this week, too, in the document she hilariously designed, wrote up, and filled out by hand:

Permit for spending the night at S-TAR school Subject: Asking for permission to stay the night at school for the duration of 1 night To: Counselling homeroom teacher I, (young Mr./young Miss/Mr./Miss) Aylin Keuaahree, ID number 406123, student of Matthayom 4/1, need to stay over at school ... on the date of the 24th of the month of August in the year of 2566 (2023) from 20.00 o'clock until 06.00 o'clock. Please kindly take it into consideration. Respectfully yours Aylin Keuaahree (Miss Aylin Keuaahree) Student

I've mentioned before that the subs are a bit too generous and don't quite show how much Aylin limits her speech to the minimum she needs to get her point across. One thing that consistently gets subbed is how she differentiates between aliens and humans. But not every instance of human is the same. She does seem to differentiate between general observations about human behavior and specific humans she talks to, now even addressing them appropriately (albeit with the 'human' descriptor).

1) มนุษย์ครูใจร้าย /ma noot khruu jai raai/ = [You] are mean, teacher human. 2) มันเป็นหนทางที่เอเลี่ยนจะได้เจอเพื่อนนะ /man bpen hon thaang thee alien ja dai juuhr pheuuan na/

มนุษย์ชอบถามแปลก ๆ /ma noot chaawp thaam bplaaek bplaaek/ = Humans like to ask weird questions.

1) มนุษย์พี่เคยบอกเอง ว่าเรื่องที่เชื่อไม่ใช่เรื่องที่ไร้สาระ /ma noot phi koei baawk ehng - waa reuuang thee cheuua mai chai reuuang thee rai saa ra/ = [You] said so [your]self, senior human - that what [I] believe in isn't nonsense. 2) ทำไมมนุษย์ชอบกลับคำพูด /tham mai ma noot chaawp glap kham phuut/ = Why do humans like to go back on their word?

Luna, Mawin, and Ton

Thanks again, Tin, for helpfully giving us all the names lol:

Luna Lalita Chanthaboriboon ลูน่า ลลิตา จันทบริบูรณ์ /Luu-naa La-lee-dtaa Jan-tha-baw-ree-buun/

Luna is her nickname, her first name Lalita ลลิตา means pretty, charming, lovely, and her last name จันทบริบูรณ์ contains:

จันท /jan tha/ from จันทร์ /jan/ = moon;

บริบูรณ์ /baw ree buun/ = complete, full, perfect, abundant

พี่เป็นดวงจันทร์ต่างหาก /phi bpen duuang jan dtaang haak/

Moving on to the boys-

Mawin Kow(a)charoen มาวิน โค้วเจริญ /Maa-win Khoh(-wa)-ja-reern/ -> the added 'wa' would be for the same ease-of-pronunciation reason I explained earlier with Alpha's name

Mawin isn't a Thai name but his last name โค้วเจริญ consists of:

โค้ว* likely from หมูโค้ว /moo khoh/? = a pork belly dish

เจริญ /ja reern/ = the same as Charoen's name, meaning to pray/chant, to prosper, to thrive

Edit, addition by @recentadultburnout:

Based on the usual pattern, the *โค้ว in the surname โค้วเจริญ is likely a Chinese surname that got incorporated into a Thai one. โค้ว is one of the top ten most used ones among Chinese surnames in Thailand. As for [his first name] มาวิน, while it was indeed not originally Thai, it did have a meaning—a borrowed word plus slang of sorts. A winner or to win.

Ton Thanakorn Khajornyoo ต้น ธนกร ขจรอยู่ /Dtohn Tha-na-gaawn Kha-jaawn-yuu/

His first name ธนกร /tha na gaawn/ = to create assets/capital; rich, wealthy

His nickname Ton ต้น might stem haha from the plant (ต้น)ขจร /(dtohn) kha jaawn/, a type of vine. ต้น /dtohn/ is a prefix used for plants but it can also mean leader, chief, leading, beginning, etc.

His last name ขจรอยู่ /kha jawn yuu/ = is spread/spreading, emanating, diffusing

An addendum about Ton

Last week, I wondered if maybe Ton was a closeted gay guy because of a handful of instances where AJ's delivery of the typically-female polite ending particles ค่ะ/คะ /kha/ sounded pretty sassy (and because he's Ongsa's ex aka the biggest lesbian under the sun lol). After episode three, I'm pretty sure he's just a huge flirt with everyone regardless of gender, he just adjusts his particle use (and also his height!) accordingly to sweet-talk them all:

1) ว่าไงครับสุดหล่อ /waa ngai khrap soot laaw/ -> ครับ /khrap/ = typically-male polite ending particle 2) แต่คุณแอลคะ /dtaae khun Al kha/ -> คะ /kha/ = typically-female polite ending particle

And since he finger-guns his way into the student council room, I think we all know now that he's bi

"Filth-eating spirit"

ใครจะไปล่าแสงกระสือกับพี่ต้นบ้างครับ /khrai ja bpai laa saaeng gra seuu gap phi Ton baang khrap/

If that sounds familiar to you, you either know your Thai ghosts or you've seen this or other movies like it:

Inhuman Kiss or แสงกระสือ /saaeng gra seuu/, starring Minnie Phantira, Oab Oabnithi and Great Sapol

A Krasue is a type of evil spirit that possesses women and, when going out to hunt, leaves the body behind to be a floating head with internal organs still attached. It's translated as 'filth-eating' because a Krasue is cursed to feed on blood, organs, carrion etc. Ton calls the mysterious green light แสงกระสือ /saaeng gra seuu/ (=light of a Krasue) because sightings of a Krasue usually report them looking like a floating red or green orb. In that regard, they're comparable to will-o'-the-wisps!

[brokeboysbeachhouse]

Every once in a while…

… our society reinvents ‘The Monkees’ and those who are aware of this end up having to silently tolerate those who aren’t

[rooolt]

I do think Sam was waiting for any excuse to be #1 hawk hater again, like the minute demetri is like “yeah he’s being a dick” she’s hunting that boy for sport

[im-bored-so-i-draw]

do you think they be like that

[42eyeballs]

when people say that sometimes (queer) subtext is better than explicitly naming something really what they mean is that weve all seen amok time and we all know what happened on the sands.

[oetscop]

this is kinda old and i almost didnt post it. i kinda gave up on making a full rainer ref like i did with daniel soooo take this ^}^

this is after 1997 and before 2000 when he went missing for good.