#I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED THIS AND THAT IT IS HANDLED TASTEFULLY

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Books I Read in 2023

I read a ton of good novels last year- 36 in all (and uh, 78 manga/graphic novels, but we'll examine that in another post). Here's a link to my Goodreads year in books (the manga is at the beginning, the novels start with Siren Queen) and my storygraph wrap up.  

I reread a ton of Discworld this year, and it's as spectacular as ever. But what about new reads?

Well, here are my favorite books I read in 2023!

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

This is an autobiographical memoir about the abusive relationship the author went through with her ex-girlfriend. It's absolutely gut-wrenching, and at times, achingly beautiful. Machado uses the house she shared with her girlfriend, which she calls the "dream house", as a back drop. It's a place she always wanted and also a place she became trapped in, Machado's language is beautiful as she explores the relationship from different lenses-- The Dream House as Lesbian Cult Classic, the Dream House as Noir, the Dream House as Creature Feature, the Dream House as Stoner Comedy....All facets of the relationship are explored in a way that grips you by the throat and makes you remember everyone who ever tried to suffocate you-- but it also explores the hard work of moving on, of picking up the pieces, of living and embracing tenderness along with hardship.

I especially related to Machado's struggle to talk about abuse between queer lovers because of her fears of giving homophobes more ammunition...and when she says "we deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity", I felt that deeply.

This wasn't just one of my favorite books this year, it goes on the list of all-time favorite books. I wish I had this kind of writing style. I'll be returning to this again and again.

Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao

A middle-grade novel about a Chinese-American teen who feels a bit alienated from his heritage, which becomes a bit of an issue once he finds out the First Emperor of China has possessed his A.R. Gaming Headset. Now he needs to close a portal to the underworld with the help of other kids possessed by emporers.

This was a whole lot of fun, and often quite poignant. I was unsure if I could really enjoy middle-grade books as an adult, and this absolutely proves I can. There's a lot of really interesting Chinese history blended with action-packed fantasy, and exploration of the complicated feelings a kid can have about their own heritage . The dynamic between Zachary and Qin Shi Huang was so entertaining with the Emperor being villainous, heroic, charismatic, detestable-- and Zachary realizing how his complicated feelings about him mirror his relationship with his culture at large. There was also a lot of fun with other historical figures, and Xiran's take on Wu Zetian is a joy. (Also, if you like Yu-Gi-Oh!, you'll probably like this, since Xiran says it was one of their influences).

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Rose is young woman who's raised in a fundamentalist Christian household, and she's a devout, obedient daughter. But some weird things are happening. She's seeing a terrifying demon everywhere, insects are coming out of her mouth....and she's possibly having feelings about other girls. What's going on?

Yes, this is by the Chuck Tingle who makes all those Tinglers. But THIS one... will make you tingle with fear! It's a great horror novel! It's skin-crawlingly creepy at times, but also does a great job digging into how fundamentalist dogma harms queer people, and the hypocrisy of such beliefs. The conversion camp aspect is handled tastefully, and overall it was a great spooky read that's also ultimately very affirming, cathartic, and hopeful.

Qualia the Purple by Hisamitsu Ueo

You might go into this thinking it's just a quirky yuri light novel about a schoolgirl and her crush who sees everyone around her as robots (like literally, when she looks at someone she sees a robot instead of a human). But it quickly becomes surreal queer psychological horror steeped in absolutely wild applications of quantum mechanics and thought-provoking time travel.  Some of the quantum mechanics  exposition dumps were a bit much but I deeply enjoyed having my mind cracked open by this book. 

It's one of the most interesting takes of time loop stories I've seen. But it definitely covers a lot of rough subject matter, including a relationship with a serious age gap and extremely messed up relationships, so be cautious if you have triggers.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

This book follows Miri, whose wife goes missing on a deep-sea submarine mission for six months. Miri thought her wife dead, but she miraculously returns one day...but her wife has changed. She's like a stranger. She may have bought the horrors of the sea home with her.

This is a gripping exploration of grief and loss combined with a delicious, slow horror that creeps under your skin. There's excellent Lovecraftian and body horror elements to the novel, but it works very effectively as a metaphor for a loved one going through trauma, and a relationship starting to crumble because everything seems different. A moment that really stuck out to me is when Miri copes with her wife's disappearance by frequenting an online community where women roleplay as wives with husbands missing in space. The way the online drama of the community interacted with her grief was  both funny and heartbreaking. 

This is another example of a book that makes me deeply jealous with its lyrical writing, and another one for the ever-lengthening all time favorites list.

Otherside Picnic Volume 8: Accomplices No More by Iori Miyazawa

The latest entry in a series about two girls exploring an alternate dimension full of creepypasta monsters, while also falling in love with each other. See my other reviews here and here.

This volume has the payoff to a lot of careful character work and relationship building, and it was completely satisfying. In fact, it was...show-stopping. Spectacular.  Incredible. I loved the exploration of how love, sex, and romance are so different for different people and it's impossible to put it in neat boxes. The frank and messy conversation our leads have about their relationship was perfect and so was that absolutely  bonkers, wonderful finale. This is another one for the all times favorite list, and I loved it so much I wrote a extremely long review/recap here. 

Queer Ducks (and Other Animals): The Natural World of Animal Sexuality by Eliot Schrefer

This was a well-researched, well-crafted, easy to read book that explores queerness (mainly homosexuality, bisexuality, trans and genderfluid expressions in animals, and even the question of if and how animals can related to gender) in the animal kingdom. Though it's definitely aimed at teens, I learned a lot from it (who knew female bonobos were such life goals) and it presented its information in a fun way. It included some interesting examinations of how proof of homosexuality and bisexuality in animals was historically suppressed and filtered through homophobic assumptions. If you want to learn a little animal science in an accessible format, definitely check this out.

Night’s Edge by Liz Kerin

The story follows Mia, a woman in her 20's living with her vampire mother. Her whole life revolves around not drawing suspicion towards her Mom. She also has to make sure to feed her Mom some of her blood every night--lest her mother fall back in with her abusive boyfriend and start hunting humans.  But when Mia meets a cute girl, she starts to dream of living her own life...

It was a really interesting use of vampirism as a metaphor for both living with a parent struggling with addiction and having an abusive parent. It's just a well-told, heartwrenching tale that got deep into the character's mindsets. I thought the ending was bit abrupt and rushed, but it did make more sense once I realized this was the first in a duology. It's a fascinating take on vampires, and I'm interested in seeing more.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

This novel follows a middle-aged Muslim female pirate living around the Arabian Peninsula. She's supposed to be in retirement, but wouldn't you know it, she's lured in for one last job! I she rescues a kidnapped girl,  she'll have all the riches she needs to set her family up for life. So Amina begins her adventure of fighting demons and monsters and ex-husbands. But the job might not be all it seems.

This novel is full of all the entertaining swashbuckling action and shenanigans that any pirate story should have. It's a rollicking good time, and feeds my craving for middle aged women going on quests and kicking ass. Amina's journey is a fun, wild ride full of dynamic characters and interesting mythology!

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Juniper is friends with a successful Chinese-American author, Athena Liu, and has always been deeply jealous of her. When Athena dies in front of her, Juniper decides to steal her manuscript rooted in Chinese history and claim it as her own. But plagiarism might catch up with her...

This is a strong example of a book I thought was really well-done, but one I'm probably never going to read again. The way it depicted Twitter drama is just too accurate and I got anxiety. It did such a good job putting you in Juniper's awful shoes so you can feel the pressure close in along with her. The book's commentary on the insidious racism of the publishing industry was effective, and it made a horrible character's journey fascinating to follow. I was so intrigued yet anxious I had to force myself to finish the last few pages.

Bonus read:

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldtree

A very cute novel about an orc named Viv who decides to retire from the violent life of a bounty hunter and run a coffee shop instead. She ends up getting a lot of assistance from a succubus named Tandri...and my, is that a slow-burn coffee shop romance brewing? This book reminds me a lot of various cozy slice-of-life anime, and it's nice to be getting more of that feeling in book form. I wish there was a little more specific to the fantasy world rather than making it a coffee shop that line up 1 to 1 to a modern day shop, but it was definitely a sweet read.

[squib-2006]

So I’ve finally got some of my thoughts on the new season in order and letting my self sit on it for a while

Dragons rising season 2 spoilers!!!!!

So first off holy shit this season has managed to completely wipe out any fears I had for season two. I’m a generally anxious person and am pretty naturally pessimistic about most things and was pretty anxious about season 2 because from the stuff shown in trailers and promotional vids it looked like a “Lloyd chosen one” plot line and I have a history of hating that kinda thing because it’s been beaten to death in ninjago at this point. While a bit of that was there I found it was done quite tastefully and didn’t overwhelm everything else story wise.

I felt that the pacing of the first 6-7ish episodes was a bit all over the place. Having the training arc and the Cole-Zane plot lines happen in the same episode with the pov switching back in forth felt a little bit off to me.

Sora and arins character arcs are shaping up to be pretty good. Soras more confident in her self than season one and she’s trying to help Arin but I feel like the whole using her elemental power to help Arin will backfire into her face. Arin’s insecurity and the whole how can I be useful if I don’t have an element I fell is being handled way better than the dumb kai arc in season 11(dw I will get to that when I get to kai) and it’s about on par with the Lloyd powerless plot from hunted. I am really excited to see what they do next and if Arin will be really mad at sora or not cuz like he’s super nice and stuff and I fell like he would be sad instead of mad.

Nya didn’t really have a lot going on personally except the stuff with Jay which I’m iffy on because so much of Nyas character in older seasons revolved around Jay and I just hope they don’t go back to that and let her character breath a bit.

In the topic of Jay I really really REALLY hope he isn’t evil. That the idea because it’s really out of character and they are already pushing my buttons with the lost memory crap because that’s something that I’ve rarely seen done well at all and it makes me very nervous and I just don’t like it. I do like that Jay just seems to be a guy who hates his job tho that’s fun.

I think the writers are just having fun with Zane and I think that’s cool. I do wanna punch the administration guy who said Zane isn’t a person because he is and he’s a bean and I will not allow this nobody to slander him.

It was nice to see more of Cole this season. I swear him and geo are so cute. The hand holding and the fact that they basically adopted two kids together is amazing and I am fully on board for this ship.

The villans were really interesting. I hope they keep up the quality with them because the mystery of ras’ master and wtf happened with jordana is really exciting. Cinder was intresting and as someone who has no interest in men what so ever I am kinda baffled at why so many people want this man but hey you do you. I do wonder what happened to ash tho. The member of the forbidden five looks interesting too and part of me is hoping that the leaked “evil jay” minifig is actually this guy just powered up cuz the color palette is similar enough and I just don’t want an evil jay.

Wyldfyre is amazing her whole leg being broken then sneaking on the ship to the exasperation of kai (like he would totally have pulled something like this a few seasons ago the hypocrite <3) and the others was so good. I am curious about her talk with egalt she mentioned one of her family members getting the wasting sickness but it can’t be heat wave cuz he seems fine so maybe she had more than one dragon guardian??? I do hope that Kai’s portal abduction does affected going into part 2 and that she bonds with nya and the others over it.

Egalt and rontu were very interesting to me and I’m glad they didn’t go the route of them being the actual creators of spinjitzu and kept the lore consistent I was slightly worried about that. Hope they come back in part 2 too.

Bonzle was a big surprise for me. I likes her personality in season 1 but I didn’t expect her to be so important. She’s really sweet and the scene with wu was great too.

And finally last but definitely not least, the best character in this entire show and my favorite comfort character to beat the shit out of

KAI

IT WAS SO FREAKING GOOD. I LITERALLY HAVE NOT BEEN THIS HAPPY WITH AN EPISODE SINCE SEASON 4 EPISODE 7 THE FORGOTTEN ELEMENT (iykyk) I was literately kicking my feet like a little girl and crying and screaming my head off to the point I woke up other family members. Him unlocking the rising dragon technique by having his sister help and being in harmony with his family is so fucking sweet and I cried like a little bitch it was so good. I am also so happy that they used his old hair and didn’t just slap a smaller version of his current hair onto him (tho I kinda wish they had used the fucked up custom hair that was in the older episodes but I doubt that model is even in their hands so whatever(side side note I love the fucked up hair so much it’s so stupid I love it and will forever miss it)) him being such a dad to wyld fire was so sweet and then using the rising dragon technique after he saw his family in danger was just perfect. I do kinda wish there was more of a dramatic reaction to him getting yeeted by ras into the portal (kinda like any of the other ninja “deaths/major injuries”) but im fine with what we got. Except I kinda hate that only nya has an outward reaction in the aftermath. No lloyd reaction no Cole reaction and nothing from Zane and it makes me mad because every other time a ninja had their moment there was a whole team reaction. But I’m feeling like that’s to nitpicky and there’s still ten more episodes to fix that so fingers crossed. But kai also encouraging bonzle to close the portal even if he’s trapped inside is such a kai thing and hit me like a truck. Also him calling bonzle kid dispite her being much much older than him is funny and sweet cuz Kai’s big brother/father figure side is coming through and it’s so sweet. And the ninja never quit line is so great I was sobbing even more after that. (Tho I don’t know why he said he got it from Lloyd when it would have made more sense to have it be from master wu cuz that’s where he learned it but eh whatever).

While im really happy about kai finally getting some well deserved angst im also very anxious about it too. This could be the perfect opportunity for the writers to just conveniently forget about him for a while and idk if i could sit through that. Kai is a huge part of why I watch ninjago and he’s always been handed the shortest stick character development wise and technically he never got his own focus season either (and no i dont count the pilots because that focused mainly on all the ninja and was only two episodes, i also don’t count season four because it was more a group season, and season 11 doesn’t count because he got a half baked b plot that sucked) I’m very worried that I will loose enjoyment in the show because I dropped the show out of disappointment after season 11 because A LOT of premonitional material made it seem like a kai season and I got my hopes up and was let down so much. I’m very cautious when getting excited about things involving kai in particular because of that and I’m just hoping the writers don’t fuck it up.

Ok that’s enough negativity for once. I’m so excited for more and am foaming at the mouth for more!

[torturedblue]

It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles

Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!

First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss

Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them

Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy

MURDER THE SHREKS!

“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽

Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing

Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:

“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀

“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world

“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀

“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.

“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂

Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭

I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao

All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂

The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together

Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭

And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own

I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.

Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌

Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy

Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣

They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)

The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹

“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”

“No! We accept you!”

“You can come live with us! We accept you!”

“WE VIBE!”

Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ‘aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹

The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there

“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”

Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂

“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”

“That was really heartfelt Raph”

I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation

Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD

Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration

Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho

SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN

Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…

The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore

Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr

[july-19th-club]

Fic writer interview

@goingsparebutwithprecision tagged me in this one and then i had it in my drafts for six or eight months so now it is out of the drafts and into the queue

How many works do you have on AO3? a grand NINE

What's your total AO3 word count? 82,429, which is almost the length of a short novel.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Grace (SPN), Between Friends (Magnus Archives), Yellow Asters (SPN), In the Valley of the Ever Young (Umbrella Academy), and The Steward (Discworld)

I guess i'd hoped Another Journey (The Untamed) would do better - but I'm not at all surprised that my quick and dirty post-finale (by like a DAY) Game of Thrones thing didn't do well. On the other end of the spectrum, my quick and dirty post-finale-by-eleven-hours SPN thing did great it's my top seller. That's 600ish kudos so we're not talking phenomenal, but still. Goes to show I think the difference between how game of thrones fans handled the ending (buried heads in sand, wept and gnashed teeth, rent hair and clothing, ranted for hours on a slow monday worknight shift to me while i listened, horrified and enraptured) versus how spn fans, who never had expectations to gradually and then all at once disappointing, handled the ending (shrug, make some jokes, cry not because it's ending but because it happened, and then crack open the laptops for some quality writing about the whole thing). We were already prepared for things to be bad, so when they were even more bad than all THAT? We were actually, I think, in a way kind of pleased and satisfied. If it had ended well i think it would've been a bit of anticlimax after all that time. Whereas in Game of Thrones there was still the slim chance that they might turn it all around at the eleventh hour, so when they didn't the viewers just wanted to hide and lick their wounds. Produced much less immediate fic.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? It really totally depends on the comment and my mood honestly. If it's especially long and glowing I try to give it at least a little bit of attention but it might not be right away.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Tie between Another Journey and In the Valley - In the Valley ends RIGHT before a character death in canon, Another Journey ends right after a non-canonical character death. So take your pic. I don't tend to do death for death's sake, but for these two stories it felt cheap to avoid it.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? FINISHED fic? That people can SEE the ending of? Grace, which I now don't like because it's not complex enough and I completely mischaracterized Jack, but that's what Wishes Were Horses is for. Whenever I get around to it. You know.

Do you write crossovers? Not really. I love worldbuilding but trying to marry two disparate worlds is too much for me, I don't like having to do all the logistics. Probably a less pedantic writer would just not care about the logistics but I also don't READ crossovers because the logistics or lack thereof is such an issue for me, so.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? No but back when I was regularly updating Book of Gold (which I'm linking even though I'm probably going to retire that version at some point and start working on a better rewrite) I had a reader who REALLY liked Steve, a character I had no plans to write from the perspective of because I barely remembered him and did not care about him, and still don't really, and that reader would constantly ask me with waning hope if I was gonna do anything Steve related. And I'd avoid saying a definitive no.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Prev apparently has some good Cyrano de Bergerac smut which I now want to read. I personally have never posted any sex in fics, but not for lack of hoping someday to tastefully get it all out there. I just was raised catholic so if I say anything sexual where people can see it i get embarrassed.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not I haven't checked lol but I only have nine and they're not well known so who give a shit

Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nah. When it comes to writing I don't think I could ever split the work I'd want too much control.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? I do not have favorites because the other ones might get sad . this extends to foods, stuffed childhood animals, and books in my reading stack . also fountain pens

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? At this point any of them lkajslkdjfasdf but i really REALLY doubt the immediate future of the Book of Gold, which is a shame because I have all the major beats mapped out in my head. It's just so much more ambitious than even the other long fics I have in my documents files, the scope is years instead of days or months, and it's a lot of planning and prep work that I can't help but feel I should instead spend on either quicker-to-finish stories or original ones.

What are your writing strengths? I think I have a strong voice, a good turn of phrase, that sort of thing. I also think that after years of trying I have gotten good at realistic dialogue that's not TOO realistic as to be unreadable, and I've learned how to be funny. Worldbuilding.

What are your writing weaknesses? Complex plotting, which sucks because I love complex plotting and want to do more of it. Also punctuality, which is not a writing weakness so much as a regular one, and the really big one is character relationships and consistency over time. I struggle to fit all those pieces together/remember whether they fit together when I started. This probably has to do with my social struggles in real life lol it's very hard for me to write characters thinking/believing/philosophizing/reacting differently than I would, at least without falling back into the 'everybody is me' mode that risks them coming off flat. I think my way around this for most of my writing life has been to write from one person's first-person perspective, which helps alleviate that problem, but I'm trying to do different things and expand my skill set/comfort zone.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? It's cool and I like it but I only know one other language than the one I speak and I speak it at a second grade level. So I don't do this much but I enjoy reading it. Love to copy and paste the language I don't know into a dictionary of words and parse it out it's like a fun secret treat.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Discworld TECHNICALLY . but really The Outsiders and really really even before that I have an unnamed undescribed thing that I hope to turn into a short story that is almost not at all like the fic. so i will not discuss it

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? Star Trek (I've written for it but haven't finished and posted yet). Perhaps True Blood. I have some ideas.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Again I cant play favorites BUT. It's probably Another Journey. It just came together so easily and the structure fell right into place and I managed to do a lot of stuff that was challenging in a way that felt successful. Book of Gold is next to my heart so close that I'm sure it's not actually GOOD and I don't wanna call it 'favorite' because it's a different thing. It's a sibling.

@whileyoureinschoolidothisallday do you want to do a tag game? and any of the other writing mutuals on here who've plied their hands

[dokidokitsuna]

Hey, have you watched the anime "senki zesshou symphogear"?

It's a very great magical girl anime and if you haven't watched it yet you definitely should! I think you would like it.

...This has got to be a trick. ^^; You already know, don't you?? I can't remember talking about anything remotely similar to Symphogear lately...I mean, unless you just really like the anime and want to recommend it to everyone, in which case 🆗

Anyway, short answer: Yes, I have. ^^

Long answer: I used to be a Symphogear SUPERFAN. I watched all 5 seasons of the anime and the OVAs, I read the S1 companion manga (and did some panel recolors~); I archived the whole S1 soundtrack, I memorized all the girls' activation songs, and I was an active contributor and later a translator on the FANDOM wiki. If the new people haven't completely rewritten everything, you can probably still find a few of my articles there. I focused mainly on episode summaries and the introductory blurbs for the XD Unlimited mobile game events. I'm pretty sure my song translations have all been edited out, unfortunately...=_=

Anyway, I also used to review the series as it aired on my DeviantArt account. ^^ It was a big part of my life for a while there, and I still keep tabs on it occasionally...nothing's really been happening lately, though. Even the mobile game is shut down at this point...I really hope all their recent attempts to keep the hype alive are actually leading up to something, because if not...I mean, either do something new with the series or just let it die gracefully, y'know?

Like, instead of getting normal promotional things-- merch drops, pop-up cafes, sponsorship collabs-- we're getting DJ shows and chiptune remixes (that weren't even that good...) with pretend videogame visuals...it's making me suspicious. If we're gonna do this, the 'cinematic production' they're talking about better be good. I don't want 90 minutes of 'grown-up Hibiki with long hair reminisces about her earlier missions (so we can fill the runtime with flashbacks)'...because if they do that and it flops, they're not gonna recoup the money they're spending on these...things, and then the series really WILL die. Sadly and un-gracefully...

...It probably shows that I have a complex relationship with the franchise. ^^; I have seen Symphogear at its best and its worst; I have loved it at times and I have hated it at times. I agree that it's a high-quality anime...unfortunately, I think a large part of the reason that I kinda fell off it is because its final few episodes were some of the most disappointing. I loved Season 5, but they really didn't have any creative ideas for the actual end of the series and by golly it showed. ^^;;; Left a bad taste in my mouth that remains to this day.

Because of that, if I ever do talk about it again-- maybe after that 'cinematic production' finally releases-- it's gonna be with a critical lens. Symphogear deserves its flowers for its consistently beautiful animation, A+ character design and action-packed story...but it also has a lot of problems that I've never seen anyone mention. Like its bad habit of "redeeming" villains with deathbed gestures...or its occasionally sloppy handling of trauma (*cough* tomato metaphor *cough*) that honestly got progressively sloppier over the course of the series. How do you start with Tsubasa's and Chris's incredible character arcs and end with Maria thanking her mother for abusing her...? o_O

Also, and this is a big one: there's a lot of fanservice, some of it honestly NSFW, and a some of it actively detrimental to the story. I don't mind bath scenes and pool scenes during the casual moments of the story, but I do mind gratuitous boob jiggles during the hyper-serious final boss fight. T_T Pick a tone, please. To Symphogear's credit, it handles its fanservice with a rare level of maturity-- now that I think about it, there's a lot of nudity in the series too, but they tend to do it so tastefully I never thought to point it out. But that means when it DOES start doing more immature stuff I can't really forgive it...like, come on; you're better than this.

^I say all of that because if any of you read this ask and want to check out the anime that changed my brain chemistry, you deserve to know beforehand. I really hate how when people talk about anime they only ever say "its good, it's really good!" without addressing anything that happens in it that might be uncomfortable or triggering (Symphogear is included there, just FYI: most of the abuse the characters have suffered is offscreen (like Chris being sex trafficked as a child) but it does get brought up, and you will see a bit of it occasionally). It's gotten to the point where I simply don't trust people when they recommend anime anymore; even if it's something as simple as having really excessive fanservice (for example: Mai-Hime. Great premise, fun characters, interesting story. Not watching it again, tho) I know they're not going to mention it. They never do.

As anime slowly becomes more mainstream, though, I'm hoping that culture is going to change. Action anime in particular routinely handles heavy, sensitive topics with graphic visuals, and not wanting to be surprised by that doesn't make you a 'tourist' or whatever they're calling people these days. Content warnings harm no one; they only help.

[broken-clover]

Hi!! I seriously love your Guilty Gear writings! All of the characters are written so perfectly, I absolutely love your takes on everyone. One fic from you that really got me thinking was specifically one of your Goretober stories - the one for day 10 centered around Ky! It got me to wonder what would happen after the fic, and how the world and the people close to Ky would react. The struggles Ky goes through and the constant need to always act like he's alright is portrayed excellently in the story. How would Dizzy and Sin react in the aftermath? How would Sol react? Ky being seen as this seemingly infallible hope, which ends up killing him thinking he has to live up to that reputation. THIS HAS BEEN CAUSING ME SERIOUS BRAINROT <-- person who is insane about Ky Kiske's struggles and sometimes how little the narrative gives him time to just. process stuff. ALSO THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ THIS!!!

HOO BOY. Whether intentional or not you've just unlocked something in me.

First of all, thank you! Thank you so much! I always love to hear when I made something people enjoyed or found interesting. I enjoy it even moreso when it's something old, because it means even after being up for so long there are still new people reading it and getting something out of it! It's such a touching sentiment and it gets to me every time.

So, funnily enough, at the time of writing it, I'd also conceptualized an extended ending/followup/some such or another because I thought it might be interesting to explore the concept more. It sorta died off because I have way too many concepts and plenty of them just don't make it past conceptualization, and in part because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to write and handle the matter tastefully, because I know something like this needs a good degree of tact as to not come off as gratuitous or accidentally idealizing that kind of behavior. 13 Reasons already did enough damage, I didn't want to contribute to that.

I'll put the rest of this under a readmore since it'll be covering a lot of suicide-related stuff and I don't want to accidentally make anyone uncomfortable.

I actually sorta retrofitted that concept into the Goretober prompt, because in the original draft, Ky was supposed to shoot himself. However, that wouldn't be made clear at first. Dizzy would be the one to find him dead, along with a note where he plainly discusses his 'weakness' in not being able to tolerate the weight of his burdens anymore. In her panic and grief, she hides it, convincing herself that something more sinister is at play. The majority of it was supposed to have been framed like a thriller mystery and largely consisting of investigations to try and make everything make sense (how did someone even get a black-tech firearm? How come nobody saw anyone leave Ky's office? Why was there no sign of a struggle?). The castle would be thrown into confused turmoil trying to figure out who the 'murderer' is and wondering if the other kings are at risk, with Sol taking the lead in the investigation as a way of venting his inability to process the fact that Ky is dead and not knowing what to do with himself with such a large fixture of his life suddenly gone, at one point even confronting the assassin's guild and losing his temper to physically fight Slayer. Sin would also have a sideplot in trying to process his loss and reconcile with his father, angry over the fact that any potential reconciliation after the events of Overture and his childhood can't happen anymore.

Eventually, after Sol does enough sleuthing, he reluctantly realizes that none of the events line up, and the only way that it makes sense is if Ky did it to himself, on purpose. It's not a truth anyone wants.

[slytherhys]

Elriel,

T: there’s only one bed 😈

AU: November prompt turned Christmas prompt. 🎅 This will be a 3 part story (the 3rd chapter will mostly be fluff and probably small but the holiday spirit remains). I hope you don't mind the christmas twist but I just had to write this...

TW: Explicit Sexual Content (in part II) & strong language

Chapter II

One Night Only I - an Elriel Christmas Story

Elain gulped – loudly, if the look Nesta sent her way was any indication – as she stared at Feyre with something akin to horror plastered on her face. She couldn’t possibly be hearing her correctly – there was simply no way. Maybe Feyre had developed a twisted sense of humour that only resurfaced during the Holidays for some reason; maybe their father hadn’t given her enough love and care as a child or maybe this was her pregnancy brain refusing to leave even though Nyx was already three years old, babbling words Rhys swore he didn’t learn from him (he absolutely did).

The living room, on all accounts, looked like the picture-perfect holiday card. White Christmas played softly in the background, snow falling just outside the window of the tastefully decorated room. Nesta was sitting by the fireplace, leaning against Cassian with a book resting on her lap as they both eyed the scene in front of them with joyful curiosity. Nyx was on the floor, his little mouth covered in chocolate as he played with his toys, completely oblivious to the tension that threatened to choke the air out of Elain’s lungs. Feyre and Rhys had greeted her with matching Christmas pyjamas, a hot cocoa mug and tired yet satisfied smiles on their faces. Elain ought to feel happy, relaxed… if only Azriel Rosehall hadn’t arrived at the exact same time as her, trailing after her with the excitement of a kid going to the dentist.

She really shouldn’t be bothered by how unaffected he seemed by her, but Elain couldn’t get over it. How he barely looked at her, how he avoided uttering a single word in her direction and how much he seemed to avoid her presence in general. She usually managed to ignore it, but some days were harder than others. And today was definitely harder – specially when Feyre announced with a slight wince that she didn’t have enough beds for everyone.

Elain was still in her winter coat despite the fire crackling in the pit, but she couldn’t be sure if the sweat coating her skin wasn’t purely due to the panic that coursed through her veins as she stared at her sister. She could feel a presence behind her, as if the winter cold had been bundled up into a single man, his presence a dark shadow that seemed to follow her everywhere she went.

Elain laughed, and it might have sounded a bit hysterical – even if everyone in the room politely pretended not to notice. “What do you mean?” She chuckled nervously, feeling her face heat under the pitying look Rhys was sending her way and the smirk Cassian’s stupid face refused to drop – even if Nesta kept punching him in the arm.

“I’m sorry, El.” Her sister said, and, in Feyre’s defence, she did look remorseful. “We just weren’t expecting…” Feyre looked pale, her eyes frantically looking around the living room as if searching for the right words to use. “everyone to come.” She chuckled nervously, and Elain pretended not to notice how Rhys stood closer to Feyre, ready to defend his wife if anyone dared get mad at her (how he managed to look threatening in Christmas pyjamas was truly an enigma).

Elain felt a twang of regret hit her right in the chest. She bit her tongue at the news: so what if Feyre hadn’t warned her in time for her to stay home instead – it was her fault, truly. Thanks to the growing demand her bakery had faced in the past few months she had only managed to give Feyre a definite response a few days ago, once she knew Nuala and Cerridwen could handle all their Christmas orders.

It's not like she’d ever miss spending Christmas with her family – mainly considering it was the first time Feyre and Rhys were hosting since Nyx had been born – but she couldn’t exactly fault them for not counting on her. Ever since Elain had opened her bakery in downtown Velaris spending time with her family had, regretfully, become less and less frequent. Not by choice though; Never by choice.

She glanced at the dark shadow that stood behind her, hands hidden in the pockets of his suit (even if it was Christmas Eve and it was snowing) as he listened to their conversation with passing interest. Mother forbid Azriel Rosehall ever show anything close to emotion other than a stupidly annoying smirk. Elain didn’t know why he looked so pleased with himself – she knew for a fact Feyre and Rhys were also surprised by his presence. If Elain’s visits were rare, Azriel’s were basically non-existent. Elain hadn’t forgotten the amount of times Feyre had called her to see if she knew anything about Azriel’s whereabouts.

Why they thought Elain could possibly know anything about him was beyond her, but she refrained from asking.

“So should I…go home?” Elain frowned, ignoring the white-hot panic that seemed to flare through her body. It was doable. She only lived two hours away and she could be back tomorrow morning. Sure, the idea of driving at night when it was snowing made her want to drop to her knees and beg them to let her sleep out in the garden instead, but she refused to ruin Christmas. This was important to Feyre and she would rather spend the night driving than cause her sister any more stress.

“Well, no. We actually have a, erm, solution.” Feyre tried, eyeing Rhys with reluctancy. Rhys smirked slightly, bending down to pick up Nyx from the floor, using his son as a shield. Coward. Feyre rolled her eyes before turning to her again, a blinding smile on her pretty face. Elain raised an eyebrow, immediately suspicious.

“Sure you do.” Cassian sneakered, earning a glare from Feyre and another punch from Nesta. The male flinched, mumbling something about the Archerons before he stepped closer to Rhys and Nyx. Not for the first time, Elain felt like the odd one out. Did they know something she didn’t? She looked at Azriel, but he only eyed Feyre with mild suspicion.

“Every hotel in the area will be booked, Feyre.” His midnight voiced sounded through the room, and if a shiver went up Elain’s spine it was definitely because of the wind howling outside. Elain actively ignored Nesta’s knowing gaze, choosing to stare at Feyre instead. “It’s Christmas Eve.” He added, as if the reminder was needed.

Elain turned slightly, ignoring the heat that flooded her cheeks as he turned his gaze to her. “Do you have any suggestions or are you just going to be a-”

“We have a bed!” Feyre interrupted loudly; cheeks flushed as she stared at them both. “I mean, a room.”

“Nice save.” Cassian muttered, and promptly looked away from Rhys’s glare.

“A bed?” Elain squeaked, clearing her throat before speaking again. “Then where is he sleeping?”

“Concerned, are we?” Azriel teased, and the taunt in his voice sent lighting up her veins. Mother, he was annoying.

Feyre sighed, sitting next to Rhys as if finally giving up on them both. Elain couldn’t blame her. “He’s sleeping in the bed, El.” She explained calmly. Elain frowned.

“Oh.” She felt her shoulders drop. Right.

Elain bit her tongue at that: so what if Feyre hadn’t warned her in time for her to stay home instead of making two unnecessary trips on Christmas Eve – it was all her fault, truly. And she wouldn’t ruin Christmas. Absolutely not.

Sure, it stung that Feyre was giving the only available room to Azriel, but could Elain blame her? They were both absent from their lives, but Elain still lived closed by. Azriel never stopped for long in the same place, so having him home for the first time in months was a blessing neither Feyre nor Rhys wanted to miss on. Certainly not Nyx, Elain thought as she watched her nephew run on wobbly legs to his uncle, childish glee clear in his laughter. Azriel picked him with ease, a smile on his face that had absolutely no business making Elain shiver.

Maybe she had a cold.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts as she reached for the handle of her suitcase, plastering a smile on her face as she looked back at her Feyre. “Absolutely!” She said with entirely too much glee. Nesta shook her head slightly, hiding the smile behind the book she was now using to cover her face. Elain cleared her throat and tried again. “That’s perfectly fine.” She smiled again, her face muscles straining against the herculean effort. “I’m also pretty sure I forgot to leave my doorman his gift so this is actually perfect for me-“

Feyre frowned. “What?” She mumbled as Rhys raised an eyebrow at Elain’s rambling.

“-I don’t know when I’m seeing him again and I truly wanted to give him something. I bought him a sweater, you see, and a doll for his girls. The new one from-“

“Settle down, Santa.” Azriel interrupted her just as she was reaching for the door handle, a stupid smirk on his stupid face as he stepped closer, Nyx babbling nonsense and playing with his cobalt tie. Elain envied him for his obliviousness.  “I don’t think you’re quite understanding what’s going on here.”

Elain frowned but refrained from talking – considering she was clearly set on making an absolute fool of herself every time she opened her mouth. Then Elain scowled because what did he mean she didn’t quite understand what was happening? And why did he seem so pleased at her confusion? There was only one bed; one where Azriel would be sleeping tonight. And if she recalled correctly (and she was pretty sure she did) Feyre hadn’t exactly denied her suggestion of going home for tonight. The living room couch, Elain knew, would be where both Mor and Emerie would be staying once. So what exactly was the…

Elain’s eyes widened just as Azriel’s smirk deepened. Oh fuck no.

“What?” She squealed, the word like sandpaper in her throat.

“It appears we’re sleeping together tonight, Elain.” He bent slightly, his lips grazing her ear. “Merry Christmas.”

[sapphire-weapon]

Idk if I'm alone in thinking this, but the way RE treats Leon, his trauma and alcoholism pisses me off. I resonate with how Leon abuses substances to cope with his mental health, but the way Vendetta handled that aspect is absolutely trash. They even wrote Chris extremely OOC imo.

Leon's a MESS. Like, desperate for an intervention kinda mess and instead of handling that topic tastefully, they had Chris come in (who's normally an incredibly empathetic man, ESPECIALLY as somebody who's abused alcohol himself) and he just kinda yelled and shamed Leon until he listened and did as he was told.

Idk, as someone who struggles with substance abuse themselves, I just think RE and Vendetta really lacked tact and care when handling this storyline. Leon was NOT okay. Never has been and could've added anlot more substance, realism and care through this storyline but idk they just kinda went "heroes don't do that" period and it was so shit and idk! What's your opinoon?

I love Leon so much, because truthfully I see parts of myself in him. The young naivety, the growing up jaded, the spark of hope, the depression, the alcohol. It's why I can't stand the "suave, unproblematic Aeon guy who fucks and does no wrong", because it just isn't how I perceive him. He's a sensitive person that's been endlessly taken advantage of and turned to destructive habits to cope. More important, he has the POTENTIAL to better himself and find the love amd compassion that he deserves but it's just... never fucking written and it's infuriating.

So... some background on me. I haven't talked about it very much on tumblr, but I've also had my issues with substance abuse. It started with an Ambien addiction in college, morphed into a drinking habit in Korea, and then settled as a nicotine addiction ever since. My brain chemistry is still fucked up from the Ambien, and I may never be able to have a normal and natural night's sleep ever again. And even though I quit cigarettes, I still vape, because I can't bring myself to give up the nicotine.

For reference, I graduated college in 2011, so the Ambien thing started in around 2010. I'm looking at 13 years of this shit bouncing around and taking different forms but never actually going away.

But my reaction to Leon's drinking in Vendetta was the polar opposite of yours.

That doesn't make your reaction wrong. I understand why you feel the way that you do, and I'm more than certain that you are not the only addict who's had this reaction to it. We all deal with our shit differently.

But if you'll allow me to offer an alternate perspective as someone who's down in this shit with you:

Chris had a drinking problem in RE6. The only thing that pulled him out of the bottle was Piers forcing him to face his trauma and refusing to let him look away -- because that's why Chris was drinking in the first place. He didn't want to face it; he didn't want to remember. But he had to, and Piers was the only one who loved him enough to make sure that he did.

And then Piers died for him. And Chris has had to live with that on his conscience ever since.

When he saw Leon deep in the bottle in Vendetta, all of that came back up -- because Leon's not just anyone. Leon is arguably Chris's closest friend at this point in the story (since Jill is still in physical rehab), and Leon is also someone who -- like Piers -- is Chris's junior and someone he felt compelled to look after, even if it's not in an official capacity as his Captain (as evidenced by Chris going out of his way to check in on Leon during RE6).

So, when Chris shouts at Leon about his drinking, he's not doing it out of a lack of empathy. It's a panicked trauma response. When he shouts at Leon, he's shouting at himself. It's a combination of him going "learn from my mistakes" and "I literally wouldn't be able to cope if I saw you get as bad as I wanted to get when I was where you are. Don't make me go through that; I can't lose you."

So, for me, when I saw him doing that, I immediately got where it was coming from, and I felt that -- because my reaction probably would have been similar. I am very prone to panicked bursts of anger when I see someone I love about to make the same mistake that I've already had to live through. I just default to "NO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING DON'T FUCKING DO THAT"

So like... that whole thing, I understood. It made sense to me.

What I found upsetting was not the way Vendetta had Chris responding to Leon turning to alcohol, but rather the way Chris responded to Leon's very obvious cries for help and not so subtle hints that he's thinking about suicide again.

That part, Chris did not get. It flew past his head completely.

Leon very un-subtly hints at being suicidal twice in Vendetta: once in the bar scene, and once at the very end.

Leon wonders aloud "Is this what my life's supposed to be?" Chris asks him if he plans on just sitting here doing nothing and drinking for the next full week, and Leon's response is "I don't know. I never make plans that far ahead."

And at the end, he looks at Chris and asks him "How long can we keep going on like this?"

Leon is so close to pulling the trigger on himself in Vendetta that he can't even promise Chris next week, and then he asks how much longer he's expected to go on.

Chris's response (or lack thereof) is seriously fucked up, and there's no acknowledgement by the story itself that it even realizes how fucked up it is. That's where Vendetta dropped the ball.

We know obviously Leon never went through with it, his depressive episode passed, and he's on much more stable ground come DI. We can probably safely assume that Leon eventually made it clearer to Chris what was going on his head, and then Chris pulled his own head out of his ass, but. The fact that we don't see that because the movie had to end is just such a failure of character development and storytelling in a massive way.

But this also goes back to the whole concept that the CGI movies will never have a pivotal story moment in them -- neither from a plot perspective nor a character development perspective -- because Resident Evil is a game series above all else. The most important moments have to be contained to the games, because that is ultimately what Capcom is trying to sell, and they don't want game sales impacted because players are out of the loop because they missed a supplementary movie.

I mean, just look at the shitshow that was Final Fantasy XV.

So, when I look at it from that angle, I realize that Vendetta's actual issue wasn't a lack of empathy or understanding of substance abuse, trauma, and depression. Vendetta's problem was that it was way too ambitious for what it wanted to try to do with the characters. And either the writers or the director or both should have realized that and scaled it back instead of just releasing a half-realized vision that came off as ignorant at best and callous at worst.

Am I making any sense at all? lmao sorry for the huge rant about this. But this is something I've been thinking about for a long time, too.

[amostimprobabledream]

My Sin, My Siren (Homelander x OC)

Hello, Hello! So I'm finally getting around to something I've been wanting to do for a while - post a Homelander x OC fic! Bear with me as it's been a hot minute since I watched the show but I think this might be fun. Hope you enjoy! -

Quiet, melancholy music blared through tinny speakers, unseen by the figures onscreen.

The camera panned across a desolate landscape featuring a devastated Manhattan. As the camera swept across the once-busy street to really let you know how utterly fucked the situation was, a woman in a tastefully ruined outfit stumbled into view.

“Oh, god!” she cried, grabbing her hair. “What’s happened?!”

A man, not as artfully messy as the woman and instead just plain messy, joined her, and they clung to each other as they gazed out at the wreckage.

“It’s hopeless…” the man said, shaking his head. “They’re too strong. Who’s going to save us now?”

A set of booted feet walked into frame, the iconic American flag swaying. Instantly the fanfare switched up, into the iconic boom that viewers knew and loved, along with a familiar voice, sure and strong:

“Looks like you…need a hero.”

“So, what do you think?” Ashley Barrett said excitedly to the young woman beside her, hitting pause on the laptop, freezing the image of The Seven standing heroically against a post-apocalyptic background, the words Dawn of The Seven emblazoned across the screen in bold lettering.

Ashley may have worked with the shining stars of Vought on a regular basis and, thanks to the untimely demise of Madelyn Stilwell, she was climbing ever higher on the corporate career ladder. But she was still only human, and it wasn’t every day you had a face-to-face discussion with a freaking popstar! (Well, former popstar – her music taste had rather changed in recent years).

Cleo – no surname for her, at least not to the general public, she was simply Cleo - said nothing.

She just stared at Ashley, half of her elfin face obscured by sunglasses, which on the wrong person would have made her look like an insect, but through some magic of celebrities being above such things, they worked in her favour. It was a bright, sunny day, but Ashley suspected that she was actually wearing them to hide a hangover, considering her laconic she had been throughout this entire meeting. Perhaps it hadn’t been strictly necessary for her to visit the set to view the footage of the newest Seven movie, but Ashley had been unable to resist pushing the issue – it would be good if a paparazzi happened to get a snapshot of Cleo on-set, even in the unlikely event they went with someone else.

“This isn’t the final cut, of course, but it’s a general idea of what we’re going for for the seventh movie of the Seven franchise.” Ashely babbled on when Cleo didn’t offer her a response – perhaps she needed to sell it harder, although Cleo’s agent had sworn that she was indeed interested in Vought’s offer. “You know, it’s really going to tie in everything together nicely, we’re handling Translucent’s absence very tastefully and A-Train will-“

Slowly, as Ashley spoke, Cleo’s jaw flexed and a large, pink bubble slowly inflated from between her lips, the woman methodically making it larger and larger as Ashley babbled on, until she was forced to sputter to a stop when said bubble became so large that Ashley couldn’t actually see Cleo for it – for one bizarre moment it almost looked like the thing had consumed the entirety of her head, given that Cleo’s hair was only a shade or so darker than the gum.

Satisfied Ashley had stopped talking, Cleo popped the bubble with a quick, decisive chomp of her teeth, sucking the deflated gum back into her mouth and wedging it into her cheek. It was starting to lose its flavour since she’d been chewing it since she the hotel this morning, but she refused to spit it out until she could get her hands on a fresh pack of the stuff.

“Fine.” Cleo said, feeling like it had been an age since her actual input was required – this Audrey woman or whatever her name was had been continuing a one-woman monologue for what felt like forever. Cleo checked her phone as she spoke. “I can probably squeeze something in between, you know, my tour dates.”

Despite the lackluster response, Ashley rallied gamely – she was a professional, after all.

“Really? That’s great! Because you know, viewership is changing from the first The Seven movie and with your vocal talents it will really draw in the market on- “

Cleo raised her eyes, her irritation – which had been simmering before she’d even opened her eyes – finally became too much. She’d have to get hold of an aide and ask for some paracetamol or preferably something stronger. Much stronger.

“Ugh, spare me the corporate bullshit, won’t you?” Cleo snapped, finally looking away from the smartphone in her hands to shoot a glare at Ashley which managed to be palpable despite the sunglasses. “My agent’s already cleared it, so I’ll do it. Jeez. It’s not like writing a single for this schlockfest is gonna be hard, is it?”

“It’s not?” Ashley said, stupidly. Cleo inhaled slowly through her nose.

“It’s just like every anthem for the soundtrack of these damn movies. All about conquering the odds and uniting under the worst and diversity and God bless America, blah blah blah.” Cleo said, the disdain dripping off her voice making it pretty clear what she thought of said messages. “Is it too much to ask that you don’t have some D-lister doing a shitty pop remix of my song over the end credits, by the way? Like can I get some kind of clause in my contract specifying that?”

After all, if she was going to attach her voice to some stupid blockbuster movie, she might as well try to have as much control over the song as possible, right? Ashley sputtered but only for a moment, hurriedly tapping something into her phone.

“Well, yes, of course, I’m sure that wouldn’t be a problem.” She said, as she started typing up an email to Andy, ordering him not to call any said D-list musicians – they had a list of them pre-approved by Vought that had lined up, so she’d have to make sure nobody had jumped the gun and breathed a word of it early. She’d fucking kill them if they had and Cleo walked.

"You know," a voice rang out across the way, making Ashley nearly jump out of her skin. She heard that voice in her dreams sometimes – or perhaps nightmares would be a more accurate term. "Most people would consider it a lucrative business opportunity…hell, maybe even an honour - to be allowed to write a single for a movie about The Seven."

Both women turned.

Homelander himself stood there, clearly having overheard if not all then most of the conversation. He strode closer, like a big cat homing in on its selected prey, until he stopped just in front of Ashley and Cleo. Homelander clasped his hands behind his back and cocked his head, addressing the comment to the latter. The next sentence was spat out with a cheery venom that was a specialty of his, his blue eyes narrowing just a fraction.

"So what the fuck is your problem?"

Ashley looked horrified, but the newcomer looked at him without a hint of shame. Behind those ridiculously large sunglasses, Homelander saw her eyebrows quirk up as she looked him up and down - everybody in the country knew what Homelander looked like, of course, but people always tended to be surprised by how big he was up close.

She was attractive, he conceded, even if she had chosen to dye her hair that gaudy shade of pink, like a waterfall of candyfloss, sideways bangs just brushing the upper frame of the sunglasses. Her body was the result of strict diet and exercise typical of young, female musicians under a record label, though as his eyes slid down her body, Homelander noted that her breasts were definitely not the work of a surgeon - they looked pert and squeezable in that black Lycra tank top that was hugging them with vigour. And on the breeze, there was a strong tang of a sweet, tangy perfume…and…something else, something not quite -

She noted him blatantly sizing her up and scoffed.

"Oh, come on." She said, as if she already knew him, as if they were on equal enough terms that she was addressing him so casually. "Nobody likes to admit they're putting out a bad product, but this movie is pandering, derivative bullshit. I mean, ‘Girls Get It Done?’ Fucking really? How did they manage to stay that without wanting to fucking barf?"

Homelander's smile tightened and Ashley made this nervous shifting motion in his peripheral vision, like a little kid needing to use the bathroom but too timid to put up their hand for permission.

"Oh, really?" he said, through gritted teeth. Still smiling, though. Always still smiling. The girl shrugged, as if it was all one and the same to her.

"Look, it's not your fault. Nobody’s blaming you guys for acting in this thing. You guys didn't write this godawful script – you’re just in it for the paycheck, people respect that. But it's not like I'm the only one who's noticed the quality of these movies has gone down because Vought just wants to pump them out faster to sell more action figures and keep up with all the other movies franchises right now. That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

"Cleo's been selected to bring in the young millennial audience," Ashley jumped in, quickly, before Cleo could say anything else. Homelander probably didn’t know who she was – she was famous, of course, but they simply didn’t operate in the same sphere. "Of course, the decision isn't final yet, but-"

Cleo shot Ashley a look, and the sunglasses didn't hide her expression from Homelander. No doubt she thought the decision not yet being final was ridiculous, especially after she'd had to endure the unbearable burden of being escorted to a movie set and viewing footage of an upcoming blockbuster for a multi-million-dollar franchise before anyone else.

Before Homelander could wipe that supercilious smirk off the bitch’s face – Cleo, was it? – another woman with curly, dark hair and an equally dark suit approached them with a dazzling smile.

“So sorry about that, it was an urgent call.” she said, smoothly assimilating into the conversation like a pro. “Are we all good here? Oh, Homelander, what a pleasure!”

Homelander nodded curtly, slightly mollified at the genuine delight from the agent, though his sharp blue eyes cut right back to Cleo, who was fanning herself with one hand. Despite her poise, her face had a faint sheen of sweat.

“Jess, can we get the fuck out of this heat? I’ve seen everything I need to see, and I need to do some stuff before tonight.”

“Right, of course.” Jessica nodded, before turning to Homelander and Ashley. “Can’t wait to see the final product, you guys, you all are working so hard! We’ll let you know when a demo is ready and you can have a listen to it, see if it needs any tweaking or rewording or whatever before everything’s made official. “Ashley, you have my number. Ciao, ciao!”

With a wave, Jessica managed to chivvy Cleo ahead of her and depart from the conversation all in one smooth move, even with Cleo side-eyeing her at the notion that she would need to put in extra work into the single once she’d written it. Ashley glanced at Homelander to gauge his expression, but to her dismay it had settled into that eerie blankness he sometimes got – that look that meant you were never sure which way his mood was going to swing.

“Well, I’d better…” Ashley said, and shuffled away when it became clear Homelander was no longer paying any attention to her. No doubt he’d find her later when he wanted something else.

Homelander stood for a moment, surrounded by the chaos of a movie set and all the people who were supposed to make sure it ran smoothly.

“Oh, my god.” He heard Starlight say, and he turned his head to see her in her civilian clothing, her ponytail whipping around as she watched the two women leaving set. “Was that Cleo?”

There was a note of genuine pleasure and surprise in her voice, even if she tried to play it down, Homelander heard it loud and clear, especially given how Starlight had taken to walking and talking like a Vought-approved mannequin recently. No doubt it was her idea of being on her best behaviour after she was spreading her legs for some fuckwit who had helped bring down Translucent.

He forced himself to turn away from those thoughts – dwelling on how that had all gone down, the pieces slotting into place, every misfortune that had landed on him – landed on The Seven – finally making perfect sense, and then Maeve of all people convincing him otherwise…well, even if Homelander had understood the logic, had heart the rabbit-thumping of Starlight’s heart and was convinced she was telling the truth, it still annoyed him immensely, seeing Maeve leap to that doe-eyed little idiot’s defense when she barely looked at him, these days.

“Um, Homelander?”

A voice broke into his reverie and though the distraction was something of a necessary one, he still snapped a petulant;

“What?”

The aide flinched, clutching her tablet to her chest like a shield.

“Ashley asked me to say hair and makeup just wanted to quickly see you before we start shooting the bridge scene. Uh, in the meantime, is there anything you need?”

Homelander pressed his lips together a moment, before an idea suddenly burst in his brain like the flashbang of a grenade. With startling speed, he turned and clapped a friendly hand on the aide’s shoulder – her knees buckled a little, but she managed to stay standing, peering up into the toothy smile on Homelander’s face.

“Actually, there is.” Homelander said, his tone pleasant. “Need you to look something for me.”

The aide brightened a little, hopeful that she had been able to salvage his obviously bad mood a little, and she hurriedly lifted up her tablet, propping it on one hand and preparing to type.

“Of course! Just name it.”

Homelander smiled, a plan already forming in his mind.

“Here’s what I want…”

~

The crowd was alight with excitement.

People holding up placards or photographs, girls in flower crowns and boys in eyeliner. Total strangers looking at each other with excited smiles, young and old united in their fervour. All heads were turned towards the stage, or to the person next to them to mutter something. Somewhere in the distance was a scream of exhilaration or excitement, a rising cry like a firework.

At the front of the stage stood Cleo. Despite the black minidress she had on that looked more like a racy nightgown than actual clothes, she seemed perfectly at ease standing in front of a crowd of thousands with so much of her on display. She wore tough-looking boots to counteract the girlish lace on the bottom of the dress, and a disarming smirk spread across her lips, painted a dark plum. Dry ice plumed around her ankles as she approached the lip of the stage.

“Y’alright, New York?” she drawled into her microphone, and the audience screamed. Thunder rumbled overhead, the clouds above the stadium an ominous dark grey. Cleo laughed as she walked across the stage, the weather threatening rain seeming to energise her.

“Yeah!” cried the audience.

Cleo thrust a finger at the crowd, the dagger-like end of her nail jabbing into the night.

“I can’t fucking hear you!”

“YEAH!” the audience roared, swept up in their own excitement.

Cleo chuckled softly, adrenaline pulsing through her. They were staring up at her, waiting with bated breath. And she knew not to keep them waiting too long, so she sucked in a lungful of night air and began to sing, the microphone clutched in her hand.

The audience recognised the song – one of Cleo’s most popular tracks from her debut album, and nostalgic sighs and a few enthusiastic screams swept out over the crowd. She loved the song too, and knowing that they loved it nearly as much as she did strengthened her, like she’d taken a hit of something.

High, high above the crowd, standing atop one of the floodlights that ringed the stadium, a figure watched the proceedings like a hawk, hands behind his back, chin down. He wasn’t worried about being spotted – even if one of the cretins down below had vision that good, none of them would tear their eyes away from the girl onstage.

Cleo’s voice poured through the speakers, honey with a hint of a rasp in it. Homelander’s fine-tuned hearing meant that he was picky about what music he would tolerate – even moreso what he’d actively go out of his way to listen to. He didn’t understand a lot of the beeping and shrill electronic noises that seemed popular lately and had little patience for the autotuned screeching so many ‘musicians’ relied on either.

But this?

This was something else.

Despite himself, he could feel goosebumps rippling across the flesh concealed beneath his suit. From his vantage point he could see and hear everything perfectly, and he drank it in greedily, relishing that he alone had such a perfect view.

Who would have thought such an obnoxious brat would have a voice like that? Homelander’s eyes took on a half-lidded slant as he observed her. Cleo. She was in her element, playing up to an audience that loved her, couldn’t get enough of her and her singing. He could understand what she was feeling, the euphoria that comes from being adored by people you’d never even know the names of. And all you had to do was perform for them, give them exactly what they wanted, and they were yours.

Cleo didn’t know she had an extra audience member, of course. One who hadn’t paid, no less. But Homelander made no move to make himself known – he just let the melodious voice wash over him in a soothing tide, that voice infiltrating his ears and settling in his mind. He could have listened to her for hours. He’d never heard a thing like it. Like her.

Suddenly, he knew that the decision of who was writing the single for Dawn of the Seven wasn’t unclear it all. It was her, or no-one.

Homelander would make sure of it.

[goddevouringserpent]

okay okay i’m intrigued — give me your best pitch for why i should make nuestra parte de noche / our share of night my next fucked up read 👁️👂

(hope you don't mind if I answer this publicly, I have a strong emotional attachment to this book and want everyone to read it--if you'd rather it was private let me know & I'll delete it!)

SO. this book is thee most fucked up thing I have read in a while, which is saying a lot because Mariana Enríquez made a whole ass career out of writing fucked up shit (her short story compilations are also very much worth a look). it is pure undiluted Latin American anguish. that part is... difficult to explain, since it's such a cultural thing, but essentially: Our Share of Night takes place primarily in Argentina, and the plot is heavily heavily informed by both colonial history and the history of military dictatorships and the crimes against humanity committed during, how that shaped our society & culture. many of us carry a great deal of generational trauma still and it's in books like hers where that trauma... shines, so to speak, and if you'll forgive the clumsy wording. it's raw and bloody and painful and unapologetic about all of those, but it's handled very, very well.

now, as a word of warning before I get into what the book is about and potentially make it interesting: this book contains some VERY HEAVY SHIT. Enríquez does not pull her punches. I am hesitant to spoil it because it's a book that does not deserve to be spoiled, but. there's a lot of body horror, a lot of violence, a lot of harm done to children, a lot of abuse--again, all handled tastefully and within the context of allegories or even direct references to colonialism / military violence. but it is a lot. so be warned.

the story itself is also difficult to summarize because, again, I want to spoil as little as possible, but: it revolves around Juan, a man who possesses extraordinary abilities to communicate with things such as the dead, demonic beings, and an entity known as "The Darkness" (keep in mind I read this book in the original Spanish & I don't know how that was translated--in my version it was "La Oscuridad"), and his son Gaspar who deserves the world, baby boy, baby. Juan is a very profoundly fucked up man. he is the poster child for Does Everything Wrong Always All The Time. he is bitter and full of both rage and sick, twisted love and is one of the best protagonists I've seen in ages, by which I mean that he sucks so fucking bad. I don't want to predispose anyone against him by saying this BTW, I think his suckiness is a feature and embrace it lmao

Juan is part (well, not really, but for the sake of simplicity we'll say that he's part of it) of a TREMENDOUSLY FUCKED UP organization called the Order, and throughout the whole book his goal is to protect Gaspar from being exploited and abused by that Order, like Juan himself was. remember how I mentioned above that many people in Argentina are still affected by generational trauma? yeah. this is Generational Trauma, The Book.

it's about not wanting to repeat behaviors, about breaking cycles, about not wanting to fall prey to the people that hurt you but hurting everyone around you in the process because all you know how to do is hurt, lash out, be cruel and vicious. it's a book about how far you'd go for the people you love and how far is too far and can you come back from too far? it's about there's always someone worse and about how sometimes you're that 'someone worse'. it's a book about blood in a country that's been bled dry, multiple times over.

if I've piqued your interest (or anyone's!) then please please feel free to DM me with more questions--or with any reactions if you do choose to read it--because I love this book so fucking much I would talk about it forever if I could, but I would never forgive myself if I spoiled it for someone else because it's... an experience, lmao

(note: considering the subject matter, I would recommend that people who don't know anything about the 1973-1983 Argentinian dictatorship read up on it, even just a little bit, because it is relevant to truly understand what the author's trying to express. it is somewhat of a plot point even. I don't think you'd be lost, per se, if you went in not knowing anything, but you'd definitely miss out on some stuff that makes it deeper and more harrowing, I feel. knowledge of what we mean when we say 'los desaparecidos' / the disappeared is, I'd say, pretty important.)

[itssoinevitable]

Someone mentioned that Audrey now is in position where if she rejects Gerald once again it would be kinda harsh after such reassurance. And because she's not cruel it could feel forced or a bit out of character.

And all of this reminds of James/Helen/Hugh triangle. High and Gerald are both decent guys and represent comfort zone for our ladies.

So if our new triangle becomes an actual focus of the plot I really want Audrey and Helen to have a conversation about how following your heart could be rewarding even if it brings tough choices and makes you to face the feeling of guilt at some point.

Ooh interesting thoughts! I think you’re right that Audrey will lean on Helen more as things progress, it would naturally be more comfortable to talk to another woman about such things. And their friendship is deepening too, so that’s a lovely idea!

I also agree that it’s unlikely for Mrs Hall to reject Gerald again, especially after the way she kissed him. I don’t think they’ll chalk it up to a moment of impulse or that she made a mistake, either. It does seem tricky to imagine how they’d write her out of this relationship now, doesn’t it?

However, I hope there won’t be a love triangle. If they do go that route, I’m sure it would be handled tastefully like with Helen / James / Hugh. But I don’t think a love triangle would suit these older, more mature characters, just imo.

My ideal scenario is that Gerald serves as a catalyst for Siegfried to realise the depth of his feelings, and his fear of potentially losing her. But that most of it is internal, and he doesn’t act on it as long as she chooses to remain with Gerald in any capacity. In fact, he might even be supportive because he really cares about her happiness. (All the while dying inside, yes I like to see my faves suffer, I know, I’m terrible.)

Being with Gerald may also give Audrey the incentive and courage to formally divorce Mr Hall, which would be a huge step for her. Then maybe Gerald and Audrey’s relationship comes to a natural conclusion, possibly even off-screen. (Like with Dorothy.) And I’m hoping it will be another season before Siegfried and she get together. (But with lots of pining, longing looks, domestic cuteness and intimate moments along the way).

[jentlemahae]

I'm going to put a TW that this rant will include mentions of SA and r**e (even though I will censor the words as a precaution).

You know, my initial impression about The Idol was that it was simply going to be a flashy show where they glamorize sex, drugs, clubbing, and partying. And that it would be so hilariously bad that it was good enough for just cheap, dumb entertainment. They would simply be like Riverdale but with more sex, drugs, and crime.

But after reading that Rolling Stone article, holy fucking shit.

The fact that this show has been characterized as being t****re r**e p*rn is just appalling, and I hate how Sam Levinson is being touted as an "auteur" when he's just a certified grade-A creep who uses his nepo baby connections who has been lucky enough to work with some really talented actors (Not you, Lily).

And the fact that this show was originally supposed to be about a woman falling victim to a predatory and escaping that situation until Sam decided to change it into some deranged love story is offensive. It only seeks to glamorize misogyny and violence against women.

And the fact that The Weeknd decided to not only sign off on these changes but pursued these changes makes him equally, if not more at fault than Sam Levinson.

And I feel bad for Jennie because although she may have very little screen time in some episodes, she going to get a lot of shit for being associated with this show. And for once, I would actually commend YG for sending her to the dungeon because of this show.

Overall, The Weeknd and Sam Levinson are basically rich incels who decided to produce a high-budget p*rn video of how they think sex works and how women should act.

yep yep 😐 tbh i always thought it was gonna be bad but i never imagined it would be THIS bad (if the article is true) 🥴🥴 after watching euphoria and becoming somewhat familiar with his writing, i knew anything explicit included in the show was not going to be handled tastefully or with any empathetic depth, so i am not too surprised that it allegedly is gonna be just a feast of misogyny and glamorized violence bcs that is pretty much his style. and yeah i am strongly hoping that she’s gonna be too busy with tour to attend any promo events, i just want this show to disappear

[dans-den]

My Top 5 Worst Shows of 2022

What's going on everyone? It's Dan here and were nearing the end of 2022 so much like every other degenerate online, I'll be giving my Top 5 lists. Starting off the list, I'll be giving My Top 5 worst shows of 2022 list!

Keep in mind, this is all subjective and just my opinion on what I've seen this year. There will be shows on this list you agree or disagree with and that's okay! are we clear on that? good. Let's begin.

Number 5 is going to the limited Netflix series, DAHMER. (6/10)

Now right off the bat, I'm sure I'll catch major flack for putting a show like DAHMER on this list because it was actually quite popular for a fat minute. My real gripe with this show is because it's a piece of entertainment based around a real killer. I don't have problems with adaptations based on true events or people, but when it comes to basing them off tragedies or killers, I get real mixed on the subject. I feel as long as its done tastefully then it's fine, but with Dahmer it feels like the series glorifies him to an unhealthy degree and makes Jeffery Dahmer (at least in the show) likeable. It's similar to when Zac Efron portrayed Ted Bundy a couple years back and people found Bundy to be a charismatic and likeable guy despite that he was a real monster much like Dahmer. Now you can argue this is thanks for Evan Peters portrayal which I'll admit is pretty well done, but even so, it feels like the show and its story is making light of the events that took place especially when they exaggerate or alter details for the sake of the story. The show itself is alright, like I said Peters did a great job but the show itself is....meh. The show overall I'd give it a 6/10, but the events and person it was based off of leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth and feels that it altered more than it should have for the sake of entertainment.

Number 4 is going to another limited series that's on Disney Plus, Kenobi (5.5/10)

This show I had high hopes for and something everyone has been waiting for, An Obi-Wan Kenobi movie or series on his exile on Tattooine watching over a young Luke, but it turned out to be a real disappointment. Now I already reviewed the show back in the summer and gave it a 5.5/10 so if you want a full in-depth on why I dislike it go check that out. To summarize what I initially said, The show is basically pointless filler in my eyes. It doesn't really add anything to the story of Star Wars and we got glorified fighting scenes between Kenobi and Darth Vader which I felt wasn't necessary, they didn't need to meet. Another reason was the characters were all weak, the main bad guy or gal in this case was just poorly written and felt like her actress was just being over the top. Plus the Inquisitor was thought to be killed off so easily and this caused outrage in the fandom since he's a big player in Star Wars: Rebels. The shows saving grace was when they brought in the writer from WALL.E (I'm serious) for the last two episodes and it managed to salvage the series and actually make it entertaining, make the characters sympathetic and bringing the Inquisitor back to life. The show was just a huge mess, even worse than Book of Boba Fett. It is a real shame because I wanted to like the show, it had it's moments where there was something that could have been great if it was handled better. Unfortunately this is what we ended up with and it was a real disappointment.

Number 3 has to go to the Disney Plus original series, She-Hulk (5/10)

Now this is a show I knew was gonna be met with heavy dislike and major debate. I had no faith in this show and when I watched a few episodes...it further reinforced those feelings. To be fair, the She-hulk show concept could work well but the way it was executed here was just awful. It's no secret that the MCU has treated the Hulk like a complete side character throughout most the MCU's run in cinema and I find that to be a serious injustice since the Hulk is my favorite Marvel character (yes even more than Spider-Man though he is a close second). I honestly hate how they've treated him in every phase after the original Avengers movie and I thought with the She-Hulk series they'd at least give him some kind of reparation for it as this wise mentor since he's professor Hulk now. But NOPE! Jennifer just complains, telling him how she's gone through far worse than him and talks down on him writing off his struggles as nothing. That's what initially made her so unlikeable in the first place, she has this sense of entitlement and just because she's a woman it means her problems are always worse than Bruce's issues. Keep in mind Bruce has struggled with a dual personality he was unable to control for the longest time and even attempted suicide at one point where as Jennifer has mentally more control than he did so it just makes her character unlikeable. In the comics and other shows she's portrayed to be a real charmer and someone who is easy going but in this show, she's entitled, mean-spirited and shameless (in a bad way). I know this is meant to appeal to a more adult demographic since there's sex (Disney's closest thing to that), Twerking, and profanity. All of those could work for a She-Hulk show, but the writing and lackluster CGI/VFX (she literally looks like that one scene in Click where Adam Sandler's character makes himself look like the hulk) is what truly holds it back. It has it's moments with neat Easter eggs and Cameo's like Abomination from the 2008 Incredible Hulk movie, but it's not enough to save the show and all that I've said makes it a chore to watch than entertainment.

Number 2 goes to the infamous Halo TV show on Paramount Plus. (4.5/10)

My god I don't even know where to begin with this one....For starters one of the producers Steven Kane would go on saying that they didn't play or look at the games the show was based off of. Secondly, They ruined Master Chiefs character by having him remove his helmet in the first episode which is something he would have never done in the games, third it's just space drama when there's no covenant fighting, I could go on and on. I already review this show so if you wanna see that go ahead but yeah this show was just doomed to fail. I don't understand why they bother making adaptations of beloved video game franchises and give it to people who seem to hate video games and make it so generic and almost nowhere near what its based off of. Yeah they said that this is non-canon, but that's still no excuse to make a Halo Show and make it this terribly. Companies always do this where they make a generic show and slap a beloved IP just so people will watch it. They did this as well with the resident evil show on Netflix (which I've seen clips of and will not watch it ever). It's a generic zombie show and they slap the Resident Evil name on it just so it could generate some views. We've seen with things like Arcane, The Witcher, Cyberpunk, Cuphead, and Sonic that prove you can adapt video games into a great show or movie as long as you have the right team behind it and stay loyal to the source material while also making it your own. It's been proven yet there are still shows like Halo that refuse to give any effort into it or hand it off to the right team. The Halo show was hard to watch, the only episodes I genuinely liked were the first and last episodes because they were action packed battles between the Spartans and the Covenant, everything in between was just space drama. Unfortunately, the shows budget was limited so they couldn't give us a lot of the covenant, that's why their appearances were limited. Also I hate Kwan Ha (not her actress) she is the worst character in this god forsaken show and is baby sat by Soren who I felt was the best character in the show. I initially gave this show a 4.5/10 but I honestly regret that score now I felt it should have been far lower.

And now for the number 1 spot! The Worst Show of 2022 goes to....

Number 1 goes to Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder on Paramount Plus (1/10)

I've mentioned what has held back a lot of the shows on this list, whether it be bad writing, bad acting, low budget, horrible VFX and CGI, decent concept but poor execution, poor adaptation of a beloved property and even controversy because of real people. I've mentioned how all these shows have one, maybe two of these qualities...well this show has ALL OF THAT!

I know I gave my review of this show back in April, but I don't think I fully expressed all my reasons so I'll try to get it all out in this. First off, the concept of this show is just awful. This live action and animation hybrid idea can work if done with proper care but this show half hazardly puts it together with the smallest budget known to man like literal peanuts flicked at the production. The OG Fairly OddParents was done completely in animation which is far better because you're not limited thanks to animation being a far more flexible medium. The animation is so cheaply done and clunky like I've seen better flash animations from 2005 than what I'm seeing here in 2022 how is that even possible!? The characters are all weak like I do not like any of the main cast aside from Cosmo, Wanda, Jorgen, and Mr. Crocker only because they got the OG voice actors back for their roles and even Mr. Crocker's Voice actor actually got to play him both in live action and animated which I think was awesome but that's about the only positive thing I can say. The settings are so repetitive and uncreative, they literally use the same settings and just redecorate them slightly to be somewhat different. The writing is just poorly done and the acting is all phoned in like good god no one was having a good time. The VFX and CGI are done poorly due to the low budget like this is stuff I can make with a green screen, photo shop and my art tablet. But the worst part about this show is the man behind it, Butch Hartman. He was the creator of Fairly OddParents and was one of the best animators in the industry back in the 2000's and even early 2010's. He was truly one of the best but along the way he got greedy and arrogant. He had that Oaxis Kickstarter, he's been accused of plagiarizing art and commissioning it, and he's just become a real unhinged Jerk if I'm gonna be honest. He agreed to bring back the fairies and he did a shit job at it. It's clear he had no real passion or drive to make this show successful...it's just a shameless cash grab and a phoned in check for himself. It's a real fall from grace story here. Normally a series like the Powerpuff Girls or MLP are ruined because the networks take it upon themselves to squeeze every dime out of the existing property when the original creator departs from the show. Here, Butch comes back but just doesn't care about his IP enough to make it good, he only cares about money and this show has nothing to offer. This show is just a hollow shell of its former self and that's why I feel Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder is the worst show to come out in 2022 and possibly of all time.

There you have it folks! the worst shows of 2022 according to me! how many of you have I upset? How many of you agree with me? let me know! I'll be posting the Top 5 Best shows along with the Top 5 Best/Worst movies of 2022 and I'll post those throughout the week.

See ya!

[animezinglife]

On your original fiction poll about depression, I think it depends on how it's handled. I don't like the formula where the romance fixes a character's depression because it's not realistic, but if she just has depression, that's different. Hope this makes sense!

It makes perfect sense, and I agree with you there.

While a reader who knows and understands those symptoms would definitely see some of them in my character, it's not at all who she is or her entire personality. She would fall into the very high-functioning category.

It's not a situation where she dumps everything on her love interest or one in which he becomes her counselor, either. He is highly intelligent and a good listener, though, and while her relationship with him isn't a fix, it does help her. He's her friend first and foremost. He encourages her healthier habits.

He's not her babysitter, her mindless cheerleader, or anything of the like. He is a good, quality friend to her...and they happen to be attracted to each other.

Overall, the biggest role he plays in regards to her depression is helping her heal the parts of her life she can, and she ends up better for it.

She's not mopey, a whiner, or anything of the sort, but it's been surprising to see not pushback in how those moments where she is alone with her thoughts are written (which I'd fully understand), but the fact that she has them at all. I don't really know what to make of that.

For what it's worth, I myself have Major Depressive Disorder. It's written mindfully and tastefully, so it's a bit...tricky to not take that a bit personally when I'm being told she needs to be "perkier" or never have these thoughts in order for readers to root for her love story.

I can also say from experience that having a good, quality friend you're attracted to can really help get you through a rough patch in life. It's not a cure-all, but it's still a positive thing to have in life.

Thank you for taking the time to send this and share your thoughts. I appreciate it!

[thecheckeredchaser]

A Summer Job

Ch2

(Chapter 3 of 11)

Bruce Inspired

Rita went down to the fridge and pulled out the double layer chocolate cake with chocolate fudge frosting. She and her mother had a slice together the night prior, but she was tingling at the thought of watching Jason attempt what was left. She had been shamelessly flirting with her chubby new coworker, without the ability or desire to stop or even pull back. She found she had more fun flirting with everyone instead of just the guys she actually liked. The trouble was there were hardly ever heavy guys that could handle her directness. She had scared off plenty before, and was elated that Jason wasn't like that. She could see the spark behind his eyes and through his verbal misdirections. He liked the attention and teasing, which was perfect, because she did too.

She was relieved that they had managed to actually go out. The week had been torture. Keeping back so many thoughts, despite her acting on many of them impulsively. Every lunch break she'd steal glances at him consuming his very run of the mill sandwiches, imagining it was a feast instead. She had overheard him talking to Paul about getting an extra large shirt in his office in the middle of the week. She didn't tell Jason she thought it was a little soon. His presumably large shirts actually did conceal his plushness well, assuming that was the goal. She wondered if her attention was making him more paranoid than he needed to be. She did have a more sensitive eye for it. She didn't think he'd started wearing the XL yet, but was interested to see when he would. Would it be as roomy as he'd hoped?

She brought the cake up to the room to see Jason looking at the site on the laptop with laser locked eyes. She really hoped the cake wasn't going to send him running out, but based on his expression as he took in the screen, he wouldn't. He noticed her come in and he didn’t look as weary as she'd feared. Was it determination she detected? She had been an expert role player on the site for about a year, and had been preparing herself for a true stuffing session. Never letting herself take flirtation to the next step. She had never posted pictures of her face, but her body was tastefully displayed. She had listed her location as a major city hundreds of miles away from where she lived, for extra anonymity. She was nervous about it. She had always worried it would not be anything like her fantasies, and she'd have wasted so many hours of her life playing out the scene to be ready. But at present, she was hopeful.

"You made that? It looks great," he complimented, licking his lips.

"You're actually nice, aren't you?" She asked. She knew more jerks than anyone should know.

"Uh, I think so," he responded a bit confused.

"Guess I'll have to stop saying all guys are assholes." He shrugged, keeping his sights on the cake. She cut him a slice and handed it to him. He started eating happily.

"So I just eat the cake? Are you going to record it?" Rita shook her head briskly. She'd forgotten about that.

"If you're comfortable with that. We can cut anything you don't like out." She propped her phone up with a cam stand and checked to see how they fit in frame. Jason’s chin bobbed in and out of view as he chewed, which was getting Rita going herself. She paused and wondered how comfortable he would be with a more revealing framing. “How do you feel about you … lips being in it?” Jason broke off the top half of his remaining piece and popped it in his mouth.

“Do you think it will help?” he said, chewing and licking his lips. She bit her own looking at the limited view on her screen. His lips were gorgeous.

“Yes,” she said, almost laughing at having to say so. She asked him a bit more about what the plan was, making sure ultimately each party was comfortable. Before she pressed play, she cleared her throat. "Are you ok if I do some talking in it?" Jason felt himself blush. He was looking forward to that part over everything. She was able to read his face to get the answer. "Thought so," she said cockily. She hit record, and a small beep was heard. She walked over to sit next to Jason, the dessert sitting between them.

Jason finished the slice and gave the plate to Rita, with a grin. “You have been a pretty greedy chub today,” she said matter of fact, patting him on the belly. Jason put his fist to his mouth letting out a hiss of air. She cut a thick slice and handed it to him. “You’re already so full too,” she said, planting her hands on the sides of his belly. Jason tore some of the slice off with his hands and stuffed piece after piece in his mouth. He wasn’t necessarily rushing, but the cake was so fluffy, delicious, and moist, it felt like he could inhale it. Her hands on the side of his bloated belly did not hinder his ability either. He wanted her to say more about him, as he had been craving it since she’d started it. He figured he had to try his hand at it.

“I am stuffed. Did I really eat that much?” he said, his voice slightly strained from the pressure in his gut. Rita’s hand ran over his belly, claw-like.

“You must have really been enjoying it if you forgot,” she said. “Geez chub, you're about to finish another piece?” she said, realizing how to town he had been going on the slice.

“It’s delicious,” he said, taking the large bottom chunk and stuffing it in his mouth. Frosting escaping his mouth and falling onto the top of his little bloated dome belly. He looked down at it lazily, and then saw Rita’s head hovering over him. He felt her warm and thick lips consume the frosting, sucking it clean. She pulled back with a smack of her lips. She had put her hair down and the large curls curtained her face. She usually had it put up in a bun under a hat at work. She was too stunning. Jason couldn’t help but focus on her lips. They were the kind that celebrities were trying get, and never quite achieved. He reached at his belly where her lips had been, and he surprised himself with the little moan he gave. Just thinking about her kissing his belly. He shifted on the bed, knowing his hips were in view, and reminding himself to mind his hands. He looked over at the cake, half remaining, and if he could glow red he would. He instantly thought about how he was going to eat the rest. His capacity was tested by his school’s dining halls, and if meals counted towards any accreditation, he’d be on the dean’s list for those too. Passed with flying colors. He grabbed at his own belly as she cut a third off and handed it over to him.

“There you go piggy,” she said, poking his belly. “Maybe someday, you will be resting your giant cake slices on your belly instead of in your lap. One will have more room than the other.” Jason shuddered. He hadn’t thought there was such a thing as getting fat on purpose, but from what he saw, he was interested. Could he really get so fat that his belly could be a table? He certainly could imagine how. He shoved more cake into his mouth, truly enjoying the flavor and mouthfeel.

“How do you think that would look?” he asked, playfully.

Rita gave an intrigued look, “Mm.” She held her hands out at his imaginary much bigger belly. She hovered inches away from him and he shifted again at the thought of the day he filled those gaps. He groaned as he continued eating. “You really want to be a fat pig don’t you, Chub? You have a great belly. Just sliding under the door of chubby and chunky. But if you keep eating like you have,” she said, shaking his belly, making him moan. “You will get your fat belly caught on that closing door.” Jason coughed. His ears were burning. “You had a burger and fries, and some of my quesadilla, rice and beans, and chicken, and soon to be a cake minus two slices. You really like to eat. Guessing porking up won't be hard for you.” Jason took a deep breath, and a belch forced its way out.

“Ugh,” he exclaimed.

“How is my Chub’s belly feeling now,” she asked caringly. She rubbed the top of his dome.

“Better. I’m starting to get really full,” he admitted. “Maybe I need some help,” he suggested. Rita’s eyes lit up, and it sent a shiver down his spine. She took the abandoned fork up, and broke off a good piece. She held it to his lips and he chewed with sleepily closed eyes. He was a little tired, but also very turned on and full. He finished the third and she cut another and got right to sending forkfulls to his lips. He was aware of the pace that was slowly picking up, or was it just his body slowing down. He could feel his belly pushing from the center, stretching his belly out. He had loved the feeling in college, not ever really feeling the need to share that with anyone. He started to run his fingers up and down the curve of his belly and when he saw Rita’s eyes following him, he took her other free hand and guided her hand to take over. Her nails lightly dragging on his skin, making him surge with pleasure. There was an audible gurgle from his belly before a series of burps marched out of his throat. “Fuck,” he sighed.

“Do you think some milk would help you wash it down better?” He nodded, and she hopped up, giving an affectionate rub to his belly.

“Urrrrrp.” She giggled at him then snorted. She raced down the stairs and Jason looked at the third, determined to finish it before she got back. He stuffed as much in his mouth as he could, and his tongue and teeth did what they had been practicing all day to do. As he shoveled it in, he fantasized about what she’d say and think when she got back and there was only one measly third left on the tray. He firmly shifted the crotch of his shorts as he chewed, hoping it didn’t look as necessary to satisfy the temptation as it was. He could hear her footsteps on the stairs and pushed the rest into his mouth, quickly chewing and swallowing before she stepped in. He rubbed the side of his gut and a low burp grumbled out, just as she walked in. “Ooops,” he joked. She noticed the plate, and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Wow,Chub. You really are a fat pig, huh? Couldn’t wait for me?”

“Was that a rule?” he challenged her.

“I guess not. But I can always run the play back. And based on how fast you would have had to scarf that down, I think I’ll have to.” She handed him the glass of milk and set the plate they had been using to the side. Jason was a little excited to eat off the serving platter, almost wishing they would have skipped the fanfare of having cutlery and the like. Next time. The thought of which made him feel even hotter. The milk perfectly washed down the jumbo slice and made him feel ready for the last, even if he was already very full. He let Rita rub out a couple sizable burps out of him, her praise and moaning only causing him to match her. She put her other hand on the side of his belly, and as she was rubbing the front of his gut, she was letting her fingers drift downward. Between bites, gulps of milk, and groans Jason had no time to talk, which was perfectly fine for him, as he was resisting the desire to writhe under Rita’s touch and teasing.

“I can’t believe you ate so much, Chub. But looking at your belly, I think I can see it clearly. I want it to all stick right up front,” she said, shaking him gently.

“Mmmm.”

“He’s a stuffed fully piggy who likes his belly shaked.”

He took a long drink after chewing. “Uuurrpp.”

“I can’t wait till you are done with this. I’m going to eat you up,” she said, taking a short break to kiss him and rub his belly. They resumed and shortly after Rita pushed the last bite into his mouth and he washed it down with the rest of his drink. Rita looked at him expectantly. Jason felt his stomach bubbling inside and welcomed her hands that came to his rescue. She massaged the side of his belly and an embarrassingly loud belch came out, encouraging many to follow. She patted his belly, thoroughly impressed.

“Gosh,” he breathed.

“You are all too sexy Chub. I think I have a promise to hold up.” She got up and turned off the camera and laid the phone flat on the dresser. “We can edit that later.” Jason leaned back on the bed, rubbing his swollen gut groaning. Rita was suddenly straddled over him, rubbing his shorts.

“You, uh, meant that?” he could hardly ask, through his pleasure of her contact.

“Jason, do not be fooled. None of this has been an act.” He gulped hard, only to have pitched breath upon feeling where her hand went next.

Ch 4

[sithisreadingcorner]

Hello :') I would like to join September's reading. Please call me A 🌼 I'm on a job hunting journey and I got a rejection from a company so I'm planning to redo my résumé and apply again to other job opportunities. Can I ask for any news about this job hunting or maybe a general reading for this one?

Thank you so much! D.o.b: 10/22/2000 👀

Welcome A!🥰I hope you are doing well and writing those CVs persistently. Let's see if the cards have some advice to give you on your hunt.

the happy squirrel reversed. the house of god. ace of cups reversed

You know what is interesting? I got this deck a year ago, and I have used it an innumerable amount of times. Like triple digits amount, for sure. It's kinda my default deck right now. And some cards have come out so many times that I have their meanings memorized already. But NONE of these three cards have EVER come out before, until now. And I think this is not only very special, but is also indicative of the overall message that they are saying, which is that it seems like you got every element that you need... but you need to combine them in a way that is new, unique, and a little spicy. A tiny little outside the box. And I mean... it's a CV. How outside the box can it be?! I'm sure you will take this with you within reason, but first I wanna go into something.

It seems that you take rejection from companies (or maybe just this particular one) very hard, because you are afraid where your career is going, you are afraid of the instability, or something like that. Based on the cards I don't think you actually wanted to work for THIS company that much, but because you wanted that security, you were kinda lost in that fantasy and now that it was taken from you it's depressing and sad. Trust me. 100000% BEEN THERE. But I'm almost completely sure that this job opportunity was like, lukewarm at best for you and somewhere out there is still better.

Getting noticed in the CV stage is always hard. And to be honest, I don't really think that there's anything wrong with your CV or generally your approach, it just gets lost among others. And you either just keep going until you find something, OR... maybe you could try to tastefully sprinkle it with a little something that makes it ever so slightly stand out. Now the thing is, that to me it seems like you are a very interesting person who does a lot of stuff outside of your work, and that has given you various skills, but you don't know how to bring that into your work situation, or maybe you don't think that it's relevant. And... well, obviously I don't know either but that is what you need to think about, because EVERY useful skill makes you a better/more interesting candidate. Example. I have a shop of my own, which in itself had nothing to do with the job that I was applying for when I was, but the shop makes me interact with people a lot, and thus I learned how to handle them with professional kindness and patience, which was EXTREMELY relevant. This is the kind of stuff that you need to think about.

I'll be honest with you, I don't know that much about job hunting so take my words with a pinch of salt. I will say one thing, though. Based on what the cards are showing me, I think you are very scared of something that is not actually there. So my biggest takeaway for you would be to just be confident and take a deep breath - catch yourself before you panic. It's not helping, and I think things are going to be all right.

I pulled you a cookie fortune that said: "You are a loving person, and are admired." Yeah, no doubt about that!

september readings (5 of 8)

tips? 💗