#I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED THIS AND THAT IT IS HANDLED TASTEFULLY

[charred-slime]

couch time

summary:

“You know,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and lazy, “I think we should make it a rule that no one’s allowed to interrupt couch time. Ever.” “I like it,” you reply, your voice light with amusement. “You gonna call up the president? Make it federal law?” “Nah,” he says, tilting his head to grin up at you. “We’ll just have to enforce it ourselves. Anyone who breaks the rule gets banished to dish duty for a month.” You laugh softly, the sound rumbling against his cheek. “Harsh punishment.” “Deserved punishment,” he counters with mock seriousness.

pairing: charlie x gn!reader

word count: 966.. bit short:(

a/n: cheesy asf as always, and a little shorter than my usual oneshots, but i hope yall enjoy regardless:)

ao3 link, if you prefer. otherwise, the fic's under the readmore!

Charlie was a tactile guy. It was one of the first things you’d noticed when you met him, and something you definitely noticed now that you were officially his partner.

It was during quiet evenings like these that it would really show. The two of you on his couch, limbs intertwined under a shared weighted blanket, with the TV playing the show you’d mutually agreed on binging for the foreseeable future. Beyond the cuddling that made it impossible to pinpoint where you ended and he began, there was the kissing. 

He would kiss damn near any surface of you he could get his lips on. Your shoulder and neck if he was laying on your chest, the top of your head if you were on his, and especially your hands no matter what position you laid in. As sweetly and tentatively as one may handle a precious piece of glass, he’d lift your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips. Each finger, from pinky to thumb, a soft peck on the knuckles of each. 

“Hey, that tickles,” you’d grumble halfheartedly, while simultaneously bringing your hand to wrap around his cheek and pull him closer. The dopey grin he gave was worth the act. Every time.

“Oh, you think that tickles?” He asks as if you’d handed him an invitation to be proven wrong, and leans in to kiss all over your face. You squeal and try to get away, but he’s right there to meet you. Your cheeks, jaw, temples, and the corner of your mouth. As the laughter dies down, he lands on your forehead, tender and sweet.

“You missed a spot.” You pucker your lips at him, extreme enough to be tastefully obnoxious. 

“Wuh– no way!” He exclaims, sarcastic, and leans in with equally annoying fervor. You think it’s cute. Only because it’s Charlie, really. 

Just as your lips are about to meet, a familiar ringtone peeps up from somewhere deeper into the house. Your phone lies on the kitchen counter, lit screen visible though text not legible. If someone’s calling you this late at night, it must be important. 

You shift on the couch to heft yourself off, when an armful of Charlie makes itself known to you. 

“Noo you can’t go. We’re so coozy and warm here.. Who’s gonna be my personal heater if you get up?” He tugs at your arm, resembling a 6 year old having a tantrum with how he shakes it incessantly. You roll your eyes, fond affection making a grin form on your face.

“And what if it’s important? Being warm and cozy takes priority over an emergency?” The way Charlie flops onto you, arms sliding around your torso, is plenty answer. You sigh.

“If I get another call in the next 3 minutes, I’m getting up. Deal?” He clutches your hand in his, shakes it, and leaves a kiss on the back of your hand for good measure. 

Charlie hums contentedly, snuggling back against you like a satisfied cat. His hair brushes your chin as he buries his face against your neck, and you can’t help but feel the corners of your lips tug upward. His warmth, his weight—everything about him feels like a grounding force, and you hate to admit you’re just as reluctant to leave this bubble of comfort as he is.

“You know,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and lazy, “I think we should make it a rule that no one’s allowed to interrupt couch time. Ever.”

“I like it,” you reply, your voice light with amusement. “You gonna call up the president? Make it federal law?”

“Nah,” he says, tilting his head to grin up at you. “We’ll just have to enforce it ourselves. Anyone who breaks the rule gets banished to dish duty for a month.”

You laugh softly, the sound rumbling against his cheek. “Harsh punishment.”

“Deserved punishment,” he counters with mock seriousness. “Couch time is sacred.”

The moment is so sweet you almost forget about the phone call entirely—until the screen lights up again. This time, the ringtone is accompanied by the faint buzz of the vibration against the counter. A second call.

Charlie groans dramatically, his arms tightening around you. “Nooo. You said three minutes!”

You glance at the clock on the wall. “It’s been two and a half, and besides, that’s two calls. It might actually be important.”

Charlie lets out a long, exaggerated sigh like the world is ending, but he doesn’t fight you as you shift to sit up. His hands trail down your arms as if he’s reluctant to let go, and just as your feet touch the floor, he grabs your wrist gently, pulling you back toward him.

“Wait,” he says softly. His tone is so different now—quieter, tender—that it makes you pause.

Before you can ask what’s wrong, he leans up and presses his lips to yours. It’s not one of his usual playful pecks or teasing kisses. This one lingers, slow and sweet, like he’s trying to tell you something words can’t quite convey. His hand cradles the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek as his lips move against yours.

When he pulls back, his gaze meets yours, and there’s that familiar dopey grin again, but this time it’s laced with a hint of shyness. “Okay,” he says simply, releasing you with a squeeze of your hand.

You stare at him for a moment, your heart fluttering in your chest, before giving him a small smile in return. “I’ll be back in a sec,” you promise, standing and heading toward the kitchen.

As you answer the phone, your lips still tingling from the kiss as they greet (“hello?”), you can’t help but think about how Charlie’s touch seems to linger long after it’s gone.

[sxvual]

Felicity • s e v e n

a/n: meant to post this last night but forgot to post it. lol

DMs always open 💌

cw: none

word count: 6.1k

listening suggestions 🎵: if you let me by sinead harnett

Athena didn’t know what was more ridiculous—the fact that she was actually attending the show per Roman’s request, or that she really let Amina bully her into dressing like she was stepping onto the set of a high profile fashion editorial instead of wrestling arena. 

Her reflection had stared back at her hours earlier, confidence laced with hesitation. Her fitted dress hugged the curves on her figure beautifully she had to admit. A crisp white fur lined dress warmed her body from the freezing Indianapolis weather, except for the fact that it cut off just above her thighs exposing her long shapely legs to the brisk cold. The matching trench coat was more just style than comfort—but Athena couldn’t be mad. She looked good, more than honestly. 

 The white contrasted tastefully against her warm brown skin. And her gold accents—narrow hoop earrings, wristwatch, and chain necklace—were just the icing on top. Glossy, bombshell curls cascaded past her shoulders—freshly highlighted at the salon the day prior. Amina had insisted on transparent open toe stilettos, showcasing her painted white toes—”Powerful, sexy, and just inconvenient enough to keep you from running away.”

Athena rolled her eyes but conceded. 

Originally her plans were to have Natalie, per usual, handle all her travel arrangements—such as flights, hotel, and a car service. However, Natalie informed her rather quickly that Mr. Reigns already took care of everything. He would have a jet bring her to the city on a private tarmac, a car service would take her to the Four Seasons, and she would stay in an executive suite just down the hall from him. Athena couldn’t say she wasn’t slightly impressed by the way Roman just took charge and handled everything. 

Amina was nothing short of dazzled when she told her, “Now that’s a man for you, all you have to do is show up and be beautiful, easy!

Athena wasn’t dense though, she knew this is also what Roman meant when he said he was worth it and he would prove it to her. And he was proving so far that he knew her tastes were refined. 

The plane was beautiful, the flight attendants were beyond accommodating, and the ride was quiet and peaceful just how Athena liked it. She thoughtfully mulled over thoughts of Roman and work as she nursed a glass of wine on one of the jet's sofas. 

“Ms. James,” a gentle voice pulled her out of her pondering haze, “I’m sorry to disturb you, but Mr. Reigns requested we deliver this to you.” 

One of the flight attendants sent Athena a warm polite small, and handed her a small blue box wrapped in a lacy white bow—a handwritten note tucked beneath it. 

‘I’d figured you’d have enough flowers by now, so I know I need to get a little more creative to hold the attention of such a beautiful woman, I hope you like it babygirl.’ 

-Roman 

It was obviously a jewelry piece from Tiffany & Co. based on the color and style of the box—Athena hated how eager she was to open it. If there were any physical things she loved to spend her wealth on, it was beautiful jewelry. She almost always donned, and assortment of rings, bracelets, and a necklace or two—always and only gold and Roman seemed to take notice of that. 

Restraining herself enough to not actually rip the bow off, Athena carefully untied it preserving his material to reveal solid gold monogrammed bracelets. Gold. Simple. Elegant. And just her speed, she adored them and quickly added them to right wrist which was bare of anything. 

Athena would remember to send a ‘thank you’ text, followed up with a ‘you didn’t have to’ text as soon as she landed. She found it more appropriate to call after receiving such an extravagant gift but she didn’t want to disturb Roman ahead of his work. She knew via his assistant he had a pretty eventful day planned before the live show. So a text would have to suffice. 

The flight up north was relatively short, and Athena was pleased to be able to step off and stretch but that was short lived as she was headed to the arena first. 

The buzz was palpable as soon as she stepped into the arena, you could hear fans howling inside the arena during the pre show, and the streets surrounding were bustling with fans, tour buses, and the regular Friday evening traffic. Thankfully her driver was instructed to drop her off at the entrance that seemed to be for employees only and was quite secluded. 

As she stepped out of the black SUV the weight of her decision settled. 

‘What am I doing here?’ 

To observe one of your most important clients in their element. 

‘If only it were that simple.’

She had told herself repeatedly that this was work related, no nonsense. Roman is her client. Athena is here to observe, to understand his world, so she can handle his image better. But as she walked through the bustling halls, past crew members setting up, wrestlers gearing themselves for matches, and production assistants hurrying from one place to another, she couldn’t ignore the real reason she felt so on edge. 

Roman Reigns. 

The man had been haunting her thoughts all week, especially since their night together. It had only slightly gotten better since there had been radio silence from him all week up until yesterday when he sent all the information she needed for her travels and arrival to the arena. 

Athena didn’t mind it though, it gave her time to think and settle her nerves. And she was sure she could chalk it up to him spending quality time with daughter before he had to return to work. 

But now after that moderate distance save for the daily wildflower delivery he still managed to send to her home now—she felt like she was stepping into enemy territory. 

She knew she was in trouble the minute she spotted him. He was already in his gear—barely. His usually neatly swept hair was out of its usual man bun, it was long and jet black, damp and framing his strong bearded jawline He looked devastatingly good, even in the dim back stage lighting. His broad chest was bare, emphasizing power in his well muscled torso. His tattoos she could so fondly remember had her at a loss, intricate and sprawling, climbing his shoulders and biceps like the art they were. Designed only for him. And those lips—the ones he made sure she felt on every inch of her body—were set in a small smirk as he casually ran a hand over his beard. 

Athena swallowed hard. Oh, I’m so screwed. Again. 

She was supposed to be immune to this by now. She had worked around powerful men her entire career, had sat in boardrooms with CEOs who tried and failed to intimidate her, had brushed off flirtations from grossly rich men like they were nothing to her. But Roman? He wasn’t just powerful—he was power. He commanded every space he entered, with nothing more than his presence. 

And his eyes—dark, sharp, and knowing—were now locked directly onto her. 

Her stomach clenched beneath the fabric of her white dress. 

He didn’t look surprised to see her. No, he looked like he had been waiting for her. 

With slow purposeful steps, he closed the distance between them. The sounds of the backstage chaos faded as he came near, leaving only the deep, steady rhythm of her heartbeat. 

“I thought I told you to let me know when you pulled up, I would’ve come and got you.” he murmured, voice low, rich, and a little chiding.

“I have legs and eyes, Roman, and I found you didn’t I.” For once Roman rolled his eyes. 

“You’re so stubborn, Athena. And beautiful..” he smugly said, as his hand found hers giving her body the up and down look as he turned her in a slight 180. Making her thank god for her rich complexion because her cheeks were currently on fire. 

“I’m glad you made it babygirl.” Roman kissed her hand that she didn’t even realize she left in his. 

Athena lifted a brow, attempting to gather herself. In his eyes only though—because the prying eyes watching their interaction in the very public backstage area could only see that as gorgeous as she was, she was also just as unreadable. To them though. 

But Roman more than saw through it. He craved the feeling of her tightly wound defenses unravelling like loose ribbon before him. 

“I'm actually gonna make you start calling me Ms. James.” she sarcastically said.

“It’s actually not gonna happen.” he mocked her tone humorously. She scoffed. 

“I’m still happy you came.” 

“Don’t make me regret it.” 

Roman chuckled, his smile teasing. “Too late for that.” 

He was standing so damn close, and she could smell him—woodsy cologne and coconut leave-in conditioner mixed with something distinctly him. Something she remembered very well from the night they spent tangled together. 

She forced herself to focus. Professional. Stay professional. 

“There’s a lot going on back here. Do you need anything from me?” Athena put herself into work mode. Roman tilted his head slightly, studying her in that way that made her feel like he could see right through her. “You’re the one who wanted to see me for what I am. Impressed yet?” 

Athena gave a small, unmoved shrug. “You insisted I see it, so not yet. But I’ll be sure to let you know if that changes.” 

He grinned, as if he enjoyed her little jabs. Damn him.

“Then I’ll make sure you’re front and center for my match,” he said. “Wouldn’t want you missing the best part.” 

Her lips parted, but before she could respond, a crew member approached Roman letting him know they needed him in gorilla position. Roman barely spared the guy a glance, his attention never fully leaving Athena. 

“I got your seats set up, you’re in a balcony suite. Do you need anything? I can take you to the catering before I head out.” His tone was attentive and caring as he rested his palm on the small of her back, his touch was warm. Athena only shook her head, as Roman called for some guy behind him—another crew member—to get her to her seat and be around if she needed anything. 

“Stay close.” he murmured before walking away, sparing only a single glance her way as he went. 

Athena sighed sharply. Stay close? The hell was that supposed to mean? 

She shook her head and made her way toward the reserved section where she could watch the match without too much attention. The suite was definitely her speed, quiet, secluded. No one but her was in there and it was nice to be alone for her thoughts while she prepared to see him. 

Amina had been right—she should be here, to understand his world. But she hadn’t warned about all this. 

The energy in the arena was unlike anything Athena had experienced before. 

Thousands of fans were on their feet, the stadium vibrating with excitement. And when Roman’s entrance music hit, the sheer force of the crowd’s reaction to him was enough to make her chest tighten. 

He emerged from the back like a king stepping into his kingdom. 

Athena had seen him commanding before, but this? 

This was something else entirely. The way he walked, his special counsel flanked at his side like a doting lackey. The way he carried himself, the way the crowd worshipped him—it was intoxicating. 

And he knew exactly what he was doing. 

His eyes found hers almost immediately. 

It wasn’t a coincidence. She knew it the moment the corner of his lips lifted in the slightest smirk, careful not to break character. Athena’s jaw clenched. 

Even in the middle of this—his show—he was toying with her. 

The match itself was intense, a brutal, skillful display of athleticism. Particularly his athleticism with the way he dominated his opponent. Some (poor) open challenger for his undisputed universal title. Roman moved like a predator—controlled, powerful, lethal. Every motion, every hit, every moment was calculated.

She didn’t even realize she was leaning forward in her seat, completely engrossed, until the final moments of the match. Roman had his opponent on the ropes—literally. And with one final devastating spear to the already dazed man, he put him down. The crowd erupted. 

And then, before leaving the ring, he looked directly at her again. 

Athena’s breath caught. 

This time, he didn’t smirk. 

Thi time, the look was something deeper. 

Something that made her stomach tighten. 

When he finally disappeared backstage, she forced herself to exhale the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. 

If Amina was here, she could hear it now.

“Yeah. You’re in trouble, sister.” 

Athena would’ve had no rebuttal. 

Because for the first time since she had met Roman Reigns, she wasn’t sure if she could fight this.

Athena had come to two conclusions since seeing Roman in action. Roman Reigns had something. An it-factor. And Athena would have no issue making him into a household name. The second thing, she definitely was feeling something over this man.

The career publicist had just barely managed to collect herself after watching Roman’s match from the reserved section, the same stagehand that brought her to the suite came to bring her to Roman, per his request of course. They went through a series of tunnels to return to the other side of the arena presumably to Roman’s private locking room—hence his name on the plaque. 

It was simple, nice couches, a tv, and a pretty impressive spread of finger food and drinks. This must be where he comes to wind down post match. But as she further observed the room, eventually setting her white Chanel bag down on a table, she felt a presence loom behind her. 

But while she expected the presence beside her to be Roman, and his incessant flirting she was starting to secretly like. She was certainly surprised when she turned only to be met with a pair of big, curious brown glasses covered eyes—ones that were remarkably familiar. Yet a lot tinier than she was expecting. 

A little girl, who couldn’t be older than five, stood before her, gripping the hem of her tiny—’wreck every one and leave hoodie’. 

Athena blinked away her surprise. “Oh. Hi there.”

The little girl didn’t say anything at first, just tilted her head slightly, studying Athena the way one might examine something new and fascinating.

“Athena,” Roman’s deep voice suddenly broke through as he appeared from nowhere, and when she looked there he was. Looking way too good, despite being fresh out of a tiring in ring battle. His damp hair still framed his strong face, his broad frame still radiating heat from the match. 

“This is Gianna, my daughter.” 

Athena straightened her posture, immediately aware of the significance of this moment. His daughter. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but seeing Roman in dad mode sent an unexpected warmth through her, especially as he bent down to sweep the little girl in his arms and swarm her with a bunch of cheek kisses. Her giggles were adorably infectious as they bounced off the walls around them.

She took this second to take in the pair, and their similarities particularly. And one thing she noticed, Roman couldn’t deny his daughter if he tried. They were practically identical, matching brown eyes, ears, even their similar toothy smiles, though Gianna was missing a few. 

Roman eventually put her down and crouched beside his little girl, his expression softening in a way that Athena had never seen. He reached out, brushing a stray curl from her face. “Gigi, this is Athena. She works with Daddy.” 

Gianna’s little brows furrowed slightly. “Like uncle Jimmy, uncle Jey, and aunty Trin.” Roman chuckled. “Not exactly. She helps daddy with business stuff, that’s not wrestling.”

Athena smiled at the little girl, charmed despite herself. 

“It’s nice to meet you Ms. Gianna, I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

Gianna pursed her lips, considering her. Then, in a small shy voice, she said, “You have a pretty name, and a pretty face.” 

Athena blinks before laughing softly. Absolutely charmed by now, her little voice came out pronouncing words like pretty as ‘pwetty’ and Athena couldn’t help but swoon. 

“Thank you sweetheart, that’s very nice of you to say. You're very beautiful yourself.” 

That seemed to be all the encouragement Gianna needed. Any shyness she had disappeared within an instant and she suddenly scrambled to sit beside Athena, her small hands resting behind her back. 

 “Do you like dolls?” Gigi asked suddenly and eagerly. 

Athena, caught off guard by the question, exchanged a glance with Roman, who was watching with an amused smirk.

“I used to,” she admitted. “When I was little, my sister and I had a whole collection.” 

Gianna was obviously pleased with her answer as her little face lit up. “I have a lot of dolls! Mostly American Girl ones. Daddy got me a new one yesterday, she looks like me!” 

Athena's lips curled into a smile. “That sounds wonderful, what’s her name?” 

“Jasmine!” The young girl gushed beside her father and I.  

“Her hair is curly like mine. And she had a pink dress. And boots! Do you wanna see a picture?” 

At this point Athena crouched down, her heels protesting the movement but she didn’t mind. 

“I’d love to.” She chuckled. 

Roman’s larger than life presence had since been ignored as the two young ladies bonded, more so his bubbly little girl talking his publicist ear off but Athena didn’t seem to mind.

“Daddy, can you get me Ipad please!” Gigi made those grabby hands in her father’s direction where he held a pink encased Ipad Pro. 

Before Athena could even think how quickly this escalated, where she was in full conversation with arguably one of the most social and well spoken toddlers she’d ever met. Gigi was practically snatching her Ipad from her father. She scrolled with determination, showing Athena a photo of the doll in question. 

“She’s gorgeous.” Athena praised dramatically, genuinely entertained by the enthusiasm of the young girl version of Roman. 

Gigi beamed that toothy smile in her direction again. “I have, like four more. But Jasmine is my favorite. Daddy says I have too many, but I don’t!”

Athena shot Roman a challenging look, “Oh, really?”

Roman raised a brow, arms crossed. “She’s got an army of them, it's definitely more than four, it’s an army. They’re everywhere.”

Gianna gasped dramatically, patting her fathers arm that held her other hand in his as he ushered them away from the steadily crowding backstage area. 

“No, they’re not! They stay in my dollhouse.”

Athena bit back a laugh as they approached a closed door with a plaque that read, Roman Reigns, his locker room. “Well that sounds very organized.” 

“And like a lie, explain the one I stepped on last night. Is she homeless or something?” 

Athena scoffed out a well humored laugh and Gianna didn’t pay her father any mind. Just nodding sagely at Athena, like she already won a very important debate. 

Roman just shook his head as he ushered them in. Athena found herself on the couch with Gianna who followed, flopping herself right next to her new friend. She continued to show Athena pictures of all the dolls she had photoshoots with, telling her their names and backstories. And if Athena was bothered in any way she didn’t show it, she simply ooh-ed and aww-ed at every picture convincingly and laughed when necessary. All in all the two were enjoying each other's company. 

Roman clearly saw this wasn’t his domain so he let them interact by their lonesome, taking to the snack and fruit trays set on the coffee table in the middle of the couch. 

“Athena?” Gianna gave a pitiful attempt at saying her name, instead it coming out as, ‘thena’.

“Do you want a snack?” she asked her with curious brown eyes. 

“Sure, gigi, thank you.” Gigi nodded like the good hostess she must feel that she was. Except she turned to her father and waved her hand at him. “Daddy make thena a snack, pwease.”

He sucked his teeth with a faux attitude and got to stacking a couple of crackers, fruit, and cheese onto a plate for both the ladies, because if he knew his daughter, her next request would be that she get a snack as well. No pepperoni, she hated pepperoni. 

Roman watched them converse thoughtfully, something in his gaze—something warm, and fond. 

Athena could feel it, but she kept her keen focus on Gianna. It was easier than acknowledging how Roman’s attentions made her heart skip in a way she wasn’t ready for. 

After a few more minutes of doll discussion, a voice interrupted them. 

“There’s my favorite little troublemaker!” 

Athena looked up to see a woman, a beautiful dark skinned woman with a wide smile directed at Gianna who jumped and practically ran into her waiting arms. “Auntie Trin!” 

Roman perked up, a towel around his neck. “Athena, this is my cousin in law Trinity, she’s married to my cousin Jimmy, you’ll meet him later.” 

Athena rose from the couch and flashed a friendly smile to Trinity. “Trin this is Athena, she’s my new manager basically.” 

Athena scoffed, “I handle all his public relations and media appearances..” 

“And she’s damn good at it.” Roman praised, making her squirm slightly. 

Trinity’s gaze lingered on Athena’s outfit, her smile widening as she took in the entire look. “Girl, you got style—that’s a whole vibe right there. I need to know where you got this, seriously.” She swayed side to side, admiring the ensemble.

Athena, slightly flustered, raised her hands in a mock surrender. “Amina, my sister. Trust me, I didn’t even want to wear this. But here we are,” she said, grinning at the compliment.

Trinity chuckled, leaning in. “I’m just saying, Amina’s got taste.” She turned to Roman, who was looking on with a smirk, clearly enjoying the banter. “She’s giving runway ready in this arena. You should be proud, Reigns.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Oh, trust me, I am.” He winked at Athena, his casual confidence apparent.

“Anyway,” Trinity continued, “we’re gonna have to go shopping together. You’re killing it, Athena.” She threw Roman a look before nudging Gianna, who was still perched on the couch beside Athena. “Hey, little missy, what do you say we go hang out with Uncle Jimmy tonight, give ya daddy a break?

Gianna’s face lit up. “Yay! Uncle Jimmy!” She jumped up from the couch, practically bouncing as she grabbed Trinity’s hand. “We can have a playdate with my dolls!”

Roman chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m sure Jimmy’s thrilled. Go on, Gigi. Have fun, baby.”

Athena gave a soft smile, watching the bond between father and daughter. There was something so heartwarming about seeing Roman in this light—protective, loving, a side she hadn’t expected to see, especially with all the bravado he wore in the ring.

“Thanks, Trin,” Roman said, handing Gianna over to Trinity. “I’ll see you later.”

Trinity shot Athena a playful wink. “We’ll take good care of her, don’t worry.” She gave Roman a quick kiss on the cheek and waved goodbye to the two of them.

As the door closed behind them, Athena turned back to Roman, still processing the little family moment she’d just witnessed. It left her feeling a little more vulnerable, but also strangely at ease in his presence.

Roman grinned at her, reading her expression. “You okay?” he asked, voice lowering with a teasing edge.

Athena nodded, her lips curling slightly. “Yeah, just… wasn’t expecting that side of you,” she admitted.

Roman’s smirk softened, but there was still a twinkle in his eye. “I thought you knew by now I’m full of surprises.” He quickly packed up a few last-minute items from his locker and turned back to her, his demeanor shifting from playful to earnest. “You know, I couldn’t possibly invite you all the way here to support me and not take you out. You’ve already seen me do my thing in the ring—now I want to treat you to something special.”

Athena opened her mouth to protest but paused. His sincerity was unmistakable, and there was something in his gaze that made it hard to say no. “I really wasn’t planning on—”

Roman cut her off, his eyes softening. “Come on, Athena. A nice dinner won’t kill you. I promise it’ll be fun.”

She sighed, her shoulders dropping in mock defeat. “Fine, fine. But I’m holding you to that promise.”

Roman’s smile widened as he grabbed his bag, swinging it over his shoulder. “I’ll be quick. Don’t go anywhere,” he teased as he headed off to the locker room.

Athena stood there for a moment, her thoughts swirling. Despite herself, she felt a flutter of excitement—a side of her that she had buried under her professional armor was awakening. She quickly shook it off, not wanting to overthink it.

A short while later, they arrived at their hotel. The lobby was polished and sleek, the kind of place that felt like it had been designed with exclusivity in mind. The elevator ride was quiet, just the two of them, but it wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable. Roman stood beside her, occasionally glancing over with that knowing look that always made her stomach tighten.

They reached the presidential suite, and Roman stepped inside first, throwing his bag on a nearby chair. “Make yourself at home,” he said, nodding toward the plush couch.

Athena glanced around, taking in the luxury of the space. Everything about the suite screamed comfort and wealth, from the velvet curtains to the expensive-looking art on the walls. It was definitely the kind of place she could get used to.

Roman moved toward the bathroom, pulling off his shirt as he did. “I’m just gonna hop in the shower real quick. Feel free to relax. Dinner won’t be long.”

Athena raised an eyebrow as he disappeared into the bathroom, laughing under her breath. “I’m not going anywhere,” she muttered to herself, leaning back against the couch.

A few moments later, she heard the water shut off. Roman emerged from the bathroom, a towel draped around his waist, steam clinging to his skin. He grinned at her, clearly amused by her reaction. “I wasn’t gonna keep you waiting long,” he said, teasing.

Athena rolled her eyes, but there was no mistaking the warmth in her smile. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

Roman moved toward her, walking over in slow, purposeful strides. “I think you like it,” he said, a playful smirk curling on his lips.

Athena shot him a glare, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re impossible,” she said, her voice softening. But as she looked at him—this man, this force of nature—she realized that, despite everything, she didn’t mind it one bit.

Roman chuckled, walking past her to grab his clothes. “I’ll be ready in a minute. Don’t go anywhere.”

Athena shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You really like to make me wait, don’t you?”

Roman paused, glancing over his shoulder with a wink. “Wouldn’t be fun if I didn’t.”

It only took him about ten minutes before he stepped out, clad in an all black suit. The perfect contrast to her all white outfit. In spite of her, she had to note they looked great next to one another. He looked and smelled wonderful. 

They finally left the hotel, and as they walked toward the waiting car, the tension from earlier felt lighter. Athena wasn’t sure what she was feeling anymore, but one thing was clear: Roman had a way of drawing her in, and try as she might, she wasn’t immune to it.

About a half hour later they’d arrived at a beautiful waterfront restaurant. The crisp november air was too cold to sit outside and eat comfortably but they’d gotten an equally beautiful view of the water inside. 

Roman still wasn’t sure how he’d pulled this off, but somehow, here he was—seated across from Athena in the dimly lit ambiance of their private table. The soft hum of classical music being played in the background. He had to thank his lucky stars Athena had been acquiescing to all of his requests so far. Hell—he was lucky she came to the city in the first place, everything after that was just extra. 

If he could get her to admit this was a date, rather than a casual dinner though? Was probably pushing his luck and she would’ve likely shot him down before the words even left his mouth. 

Athena, ever composed, agreed but still Roman could tell her guard was up. She was reluctant at first, but with Roman’s insistence, “You came out to support me tonight. Let me return the favor with a good meal.” He had expected another one of her deflections, but to his surprise, she had accepted—albeit with slight hesitation. 

Now, as she sat across from him, dressed in her sleek form-fitting dress that had his mind wandering to all the places he shouldn’t, Roman couldn’t help but think how absurd it was that Athena was still a single woman. 

Their dinner had started off pleasant enough. They discussed the match, Gigi’s antics, and even her unexpected initiation into her daughter's doll cult. Roman made sure to keep the mood light, teasing her about how easily she’d been won over by a four year old. 

Athena rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips twitched, hinting at a burgeoning smile. 

But Roman wanted more. 

So he leaned in slightly, resting his forearm on the table, his deep brown eyes locked onto hers. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who fascinates me quite as much as you do.” 

Athena breathed through her nose, taking a slow sip of her cabernet. “Is that so? 

He nodded, watching her carefully. “It must be exhausting to be so beautiful and delusional. You pretend like you don’t see it, but we both know there’s something here.”

Her expression faltered for the briefest moment before she collected herself again. “Roman…” 

It was steadily becoming easier to read her, her stoicism failing her more often. 

“You feel it,” he pressed, voice low and smooth. “And I get it, you’re cautious. You’ve got your reasons, but I’m asking you to take a chance. I like you ‘thena.” he affectionately called her that nickname Gianna had coined for her. 

Athena set her glass down, her eyes flickering with some emotion he couldn’t decipher. She looked away from him for a moment, as if she was debating whether to speak at all before finally exhaling a slow breath. 

“Roman, it’s not just complicated because of work..” 

His smirk faded into something more concerning as he picked up on the shift in her tone. He straightened in his seat, sensing the weight of what was coming. “Alright,” he said carefully, “Tell me.”

Athena stared at the table for a long moment, then looked up. “I was married.” 

It was the full truth. Athena knew she was technically lying to Roman because she is still married. But she was getting divorced, it just was taking longer than usual with Dallas dragging his feet like a little controlling bitch. 

Roman blinked. Of all things she could say, that wasn’t what he had expected. “Married?” he repeated, his voice lower now, more serious. 

She nodded, her fingers grazing the stem of her wine glass. “For ten years.” The surprises just kept coming, Roman thought. 

His mind reeled, ten years. She had been someone elses for an entire decade and he had no idea. He let that settle for a moment before he asked, “What happened?” 

With a stormy glare, Athena let a bitter laugh escape her. “He cheated.” 

Roman’s jaw clenched. He hadn’t met this man a day in his life, and didn’t know him from a can of paint either but he wanted to break his face. 

A hollow chuckle filled the quiet, thoughtful space between them and the look in Athena’s eyes made her seem like she was a million miles away. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? I built a career on managing other people's lives, putting out fires, keeping everything in tact. But I couldn’t even keep my own marriage intact.”

Roman leaned forward, his voice tender yet firm. “That’s not on you, babygirl.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

Roman’s look of disbelief was absolutely comical. “No, it’s not. A man knows better, and a real man would never hurt you, or disrespect any woman like that.” 

Athena wanted to believe him, so she looked at him then, really looked at him, and for a moment, he saw it—the hurt, the betrayal, the lingering wounds covered the entirety of her pinched expression. And she saw the simmering anger on his, he hated seeing her like this. In pain. 

“I gave him everything. I gave up everything.” She exhaled slowly, the second sentence unintentionally coming out heavier than either of them expected. “I built my life around his wants, I trusted him, and in the end….it wasn’t enough.” 

Roman felt something tighten in his chest. He had seen a strong woman before, he was raised by them. His mother, sisters, cousins, aunts. But Athena, there was something different about Athena. Something almost tragic in the way she carried herself, like she had spent years stitching herself back together with careful precision, only for someone to rip her apart again. 

He shook his head, his voice edged with disbelief. 

“How the hell does man get a woman like you and throw it all away.”

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” 

Roman wasn’t sure what he hated more—the fact that some man had hurt her like this, or the fact that she seemed to believe, even for a second, that she wasn’t enough. 

Roman’s gaze was warm and soothing. “Athena..” 

“I built my entire life around him. I tried to do everything right, I worked but came home, I always made myself available. I make millions a year, I work my ass off, and I’ve never even gone on vacation. I don’t even remember what it feels like to be on a beach!”

The hurt was palpable and floated in the air around them like a bad smell. Athena went on revealing to both him, and maybe herself just how much her ex-husband stole from her—only to throw it back in her face. 

“Athena.” he once again tried. She held up her hand. “Before you say anything like sorry—just don’t.” 

“I was gonna say I’d buy you a beach.” Athena’s stony exterior cracked, and she snorted out a laugh. 

“Shut up.” 

“But I can’t just not say something, that's asinine.”

She smirked faintly. “And what would you say?”

“That he’s an idiot. That you deserve a hell of a lot better.”

She studied him for a moment, then shook her head with a small smile. “And let me guess, you’re better?” 

Roman smiled, something genuine and dazzling. “Only if you let me.” 

A silence settled between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was heavy, charged, intimate. 

Finally, Athena cleared her throat. “I didn’t think I was gonna tell you all that.” 

“I’m glad you did.” 

She sighed, rubbing her temples. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to entertain…whatever this is.: 

Roman arched a teasing brow. “And what is this?” 

She hesitated, and her tone was low and scared? “I really don’t know anymore.”

“Well,” he leaned in, his voice dropping just slightly, “what if you let me help you figure it out?” 

She swallowed, her grip tightening around her napkin. “Roman..” 

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Athena. And I don’t make many promises, but my respect for women is a moral I’ll never break.” 

Something flickered in her eyes, something vulnerable, something uncertain. 

And for the time since he had met her, she looked tempted. Roman saw it, felt it, and he wasn’t going to let it go. “I’m not him,” he murmured, reaching to lightly grasp her hand across the table. 

“And I won’t hurt you.” 

She exhaled sharply, almost as if she wanted to believe him. But whatever internal battle she was fighting, she wasn’t ready to lose just yet..

She shook her head, picking up her glass of wine again, as if that would wash away the conversation they just had. “You’re relentless.” 

Roman smirked, leaning forward rather quickly and before she realized it he’d stolen a sweet chaste kiss upon her painted lips. “You have no idea, babygirl.” 

And something told him that, whether she admitted it or not, Athena wasn’t done with him just yet. 

Not at all.

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[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Books I Read in 2023

I read a ton of good novels last year- 36 in all (and uh, 78 manga/graphic novels, but we'll examine that in another post). Here's a link to my Goodreads year in books (the manga is at the beginning, the novels start with Siren Queen) and my storygraph wrap up.  

I reread a ton of Discworld this year, and it's as spectacular as ever. But what about new reads?

Well, here are my favorite books I read in 2023!

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

This is an autobiographical memoir about the abusive relationship the author went through with her ex-girlfriend. It's absolutely gut-wrenching, and at times, achingly beautiful. Machado uses the house she shared with her girlfriend, which she calls the "dream house", as a back drop. It's a place she always wanted and also a place she became trapped in, Machado's language is beautiful as she explores the relationship from different lenses-- The Dream House as Lesbian Cult Classic, the Dream House as Noir, the Dream House as Creature Feature, the Dream House as Stoner Comedy....All facets of the relationship are explored in a way that grips you by the throat and makes you remember everyone who ever tried to suffocate you-- but it also explores the hard work of moving on, of picking up the pieces, of living and embracing tenderness along with hardship.

I especially related to Machado's struggle to talk about abuse between queer lovers because of her fears of giving homophobes more ammunition...and when she says "we deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity", I felt that deeply.

This wasn't just one of my favorite books this year, it goes on the list of all-time favorite books. I wish I had this kind of writing style. I'll be returning to this again and again.

Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao

A middle-grade novel about a Chinese-American teen who feels a bit alienated from his heritage, which becomes a bit of an issue once he finds out the First Emperor of China has possessed his A.R. Gaming Headset. Now he needs to close a portal to the underworld with the help of other kids possessed by emporers.

This was a whole lot of fun, and often quite poignant. I was unsure if I could really enjoy middle-grade books as an adult, and this absolutely proves I can. There's a lot of really interesting Chinese history blended with action-packed fantasy, and exploration of the complicated feelings a kid can have about their own heritage . The dynamic between Zachary and Qin Shi Huang was so entertaining with the Emperor being villainous, heroic, charismatic, detestable-- and Zachary realizing how his complicated feelings about him mirror his relationship with his culture at large. There was also a lot of fun with other historical figures, and Xiran's take on Wu Zetian is a joy. (Also, if you like Yu-Gi-Oh!, you'll probably like this, since Xiran says it was one of their influences).

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Rose is young woman who's raised in a fundamentalist Christian household, and she's a devout, obedient daughter. But some weird things are happening. She's seeing a terrifying demon everywhere, insects are coming out of her mouth....and she's possibly having feelings about other girls. What's going on?

Yes, this is by the Chuck Tingle who makes all those Tinglers. But THIS one... will make you tingle with fear! It's a great horror novel! It's skin-crawlingly creepy at times, but also does a great job digging into how fundamentalist dogma harms queer people, and the hypocrisy of such beliefs. The conversion camp aspect is handled tastefully, and overall it was a great spooky read that's also ultimately very affirming, cathartic, and hopeful.

Qualia the Purple by Hisamitsu Ueo

You might go into this thinking it's just a quirky yuri light novel about a schoolgirl and her crush who sees everyone around her as robots (like literally, when she looks at someone she sees a robot instead of a human). But it quickly becomes surreal queer psychological horror steeped in absolutely wild applications of quantum mechanics and thought-provoking time travel.  Some of the quantum mechanics  exposition dumps were a bit much but I deeply enjoyed having my mind cracked open by this book. 

It's one of the most interesting takes of time loop stories I've seen. But it definitely covers a lot of rough subject matter, including a relationship with a serious age gap and extremely messed up relationships, so be cautious if you have triggers.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

This book follows Miri, whose wife goes missing on a deep-sea submarine mission for six months. Miri thought her wife dead, but she miraculously returns one day...but her wife has changed. She's like a stranger. She may have bought the horrors of the sea home with her.

This is a gripping exploration of grief and loss combined with a delicious, slow horror that creeps under your skin. There's excellent Lovecraftian and body horror elements to the novel, but it works very effectively as a metaphor for a loved one going through trauma, and a relationship starting to crumble because everything seems different. A moment that really stuck out to me is when Miri copes with her wife's disappearance by frequenting an online community where women roleplay as wives with husbands missing in space. The way the online drama of the community interacted with her grief was  both funny and heartbreaking. 

This is another example of a book that makes me deeply jealous with its lyrical writing, and another one for the ever-lengthening all time favorites list.

Otherside Picnic Volume 8: Accomplices No More by Iori Miyazawa

The latest entry in a series about two girls exploring an alternate dimension full of creepypasta monsters, while also falling in love with each other. See my other reviews here and here.

This volume has the payoff to a lot of careful character work and relationship building, and it was completely satisfying. In fact, it was...show-stopping. Spectacular.  Incredible. I loved the exploration of how love, sex, and romance are so different for different people and it's impossible to put it in neat boxes. The frank and messy conversation our leads have about their relationship was perfect and so was that absolutely  bonkers, wonderful finale. This is another one for the all times favorite list, and I loved it so much I wrote a extremely long review/recap here. 

Queer Ducks (and Other Animals): The Natural World of Animal Sexuality by Eliot Schrefer

This was a well-researched, well-crafted, easy to read book that explores queerness (mainly homosexuality, bisexuality, trans and genderfluid expressions in animals, and even the question of if and how animals can related to gender) in the animal kingdom. Though it's definitely aimed at teens, I learned a lot from it (who knew female bonobos were such life goals) and it presented its information in a fun way. It included some interesting examinations of how proof of homosexuality and bisexuality in animals was historically suppressed and filtered through homophobic assumptions. If you want to learn a little animal science in an accessible format, definitely check this out.

Night’s Edge by Liz Kerin

The story follows Mia, a woman in her 20's living with her vampire mother. Her whole life revolves around not drawing suspicion towards her Mom. She also has to make sure to feed her Mom some of her blood every night--lest her mother fall back in with her abusive boyfriend and start hunting humans.  But when Mia meets a cute girl, she starts to dream of living her own life...

It was a really interesting use of vampirism as a metaphor for both living with a parent struggling with addiction and having an abusive parent. It's just a well-told, heartwrenching tale that got deep into the character's mindsets. I thought the ending was bit abrupt and rushed, but it did make more sense once I realized this was the first in a duology. It's a fascinating take on vampires, and I'm interested in seeing more.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

This novel follows a middle-aged Muslim female pirate living around the Arabian Peninsula. She's supposed to be in retirement, but wouldn't you know it, she's lured in for one last job! I she rescues a kidnapped girl,  she'll have all the riches she needs to set her family up for life. So Amina begins her adventure of fighting demons and monsters and ex-husbands. But the job might not be all it seems.

This novel is full of all the entertaining swashbuckling action and shenanigans that any pirate story should have. It's a rollicking good time, and feeds my craving for middle aged women going on quests and kicking ass. Amina's journey is a fun, wild ride full of dynamic characters and interesting mythology!

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Juniper is friends with a successful Chinese-American author, Athena Liu, and has always been deeply jealous of her. When Athena dies in front of her, Juniper decides to steal her manuscript rooted in Chinese history and claim it as her own. But plagiarism might catch up with her...

This is a strong example of a book I thought was really well-done, but one I'm probably never going to read again. The way it depicted Twitter drama is just too accurate and I got anxiety. It did such a good job putting you in Juniper's awful shoes so you can feel the pressure close in along with her. The book's commentary on the insidious racism of the publishing industry was effective, and it made a horrible character's journey fascinating to follow. I was so intrigued yet anxious I had to force myself to finish the last few pages.

Bonus read:

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldtree

A very cute novel about an orc named Viv who decides to retire from the violent life of a bounty hunter and run a coffee shop instead. She ends up getting a lot of assistance from a succubus named Tandri...and my, is that a slow-burn coffee shop romance brewing? This book reminds me a lot of various cozy slice-of-life anime, and it's nice to be getting more of that feeling in book form. I wish there was a little more specific to the fantasy world rather than making it a coffee shop that line up 1 to 1 to a modern day shop, but it was definitely a sweet read.

[pynkhues]

Haven't bugged you in a couple weeks so...😁

Okay asking forgiveness in advance for the long ask/rant but I like your thoughts from a writers point of view:

An issue I am having is that I think some fans care less about the character of Gabrielle and why her relationship with Lestat is as complicated as it is and want more to see the sexual aspect play out.

There doesn’t seem to be much concern about the reasons behind it. Not to mention that after re-reading the book recently, the sexual aspect seems hugely overblown by some in this fandom. imo. You would swear they downright banged each other.

 Yes, she is abusive because she is cold, detached, withholding. Which I am not trying to minimize. Her abuse of him is an emotional abuse not a physical one. I don't see that abuse and then the kiss between them after she was turned as incest. I mean Lestat kissed her..she didnt initiate it. And she was just as detached as ever afterward, while he was still desperate for a connection. I think these are two separate things being conflated.

I know the show has ratcheted everything up, and I am okay with that, but I just hope that it doesn’t turn the abuse sexual and salacious just for the sake of it of being salacious.

I mean, if they explore this element of incest, at least handle it tastefully and with care. and there is nothing in what Hannah says or has done yet that has given me the impression that she will be able to hold back on being salacious.

I would hope that she could show a complex character like Gabrielle the respect she deserves instead of turning her into a self-insert fantasy bait to “Bad-Daddy Dom” Lestat ( to copy your phrase.)

Like, I know this is a gothic tale. I get that. But everything doesn’t have to be…Hypersexualized? I guess, is another word I could use. (Don’t want to overuse salacious) just for the sake of some fantasy fulfilment.

I guess I just want things to be in service to the story and not just some writers kink being brought to screen. The characters, the show, the whole thing deserves better than that and it can turn icky real quick like...at least for me.

Okay, sorry that was long..thanks for reading if you made it through all that!

(x)

Hahah, you don't have to ask for forgiveness at all! Overall, I really agree with you about people not actually caring all that much about who Gabrielle is as a character in her own right, and more wanting that dynamic to either be more insidiously abusive, or outright salacious. I mentioned it in my posts yesterday, but I do really see her and Lestat's relationship to each other as one born out of trauma - again, Gabrielle's still being actively traumatised by the Marquis too, it's not a situation like it was in say, Succession, where Logan's uncle is dead. The monster is still very much in the house with her too (worse in many ways, he's in her bed) - and the diminishment of that to make her either a two-dimensional abuser or an active taboo love interest for Lestat leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I tend to think the sexual element is overstated by fans too. I really read their dynamic as one of enmeshment, as I said yesterday too, which is on the spectrum of incest (psychologists sometimes even flat out just call it emotional incest).

Not to get too clinical about it all, but in definition, enmeshment is "...the experience of confusion of one’s separateness from others, a diminished sense of self that includes a loss of autonomy in relationships, and an inability to fully experience, understand, and value one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs in the context of the relationship.' While enmeshment can occur in relationships of all kinds, including friendships and spousal or intimate-partner relationships, it is widely acknowledged that enmeshment is deeply rooted in family systems."

The neglect of the child, the lack of boundaries in both directions, confusion over both personal identity (particularly from the child who feels they're responsible for the enmeshed parents feelings) and the relationship itself (i.e. having sexual feelings towards a parent), are all a part of enmeshment, which in itself is often tied up in domestic violence, both by perpetrators and among the victims, as is, I think, the case between Gabrielle and Lestat (although realistically, I think that entire family is enmeshed, which is pretty common in cases of enmeshment).

To me, that's really what their dynamic is, and I think their two periods of such explicit enmeshment happen during periods of intense trauma - again, the boundary confusion and emulation happens first in the Marquis' house where they're both being brutalised, and the second is in the aftermath of Lestat's rape and murder, Gabrielle's death, and then Nicki's death twice over. They both actually are able I think to disentangle from one another over time, and to me that really indicates that the enmeshment is trauma-related, and while there is obviously lingering stuff, they also grow better apart.

But yes! I hope that it's the emotional incest and the enmeshment that's emphasised between them on the show, and if they go physical, I hope it's explored in a way that makes sense for these characters and doesn't downplay what they're both going through, together and apart. I don't think it should be hypersexualised either, although I think it makes sense to eroticise it in some ways, because I don't think their particular dynamic is hypersexual, even though there is attraction and sexuality and a kind of sharing of gender that exists between them.

Re: Hannah, I think she's better at writing than she is at talking about writing a lot of the time, haha, so I don't know. I think she's a great writer and her interviews can make me wince, which tragically does make sense to me, haha. I've been to a lot of writing events over the years (worked a lot of them too), and I think a lot of writers are honestly a bit crap at talking about their work or what they're excited about writing. Regardless though, the writing doesn't stop with her, and they're working with a room of people to deliver the story, plus are taking the actors' interpretations to heart, it seems, and Sam's said in the past he didn't really see it as sexual, even though Rolin did (and again, sexual can mean a lot of things - I think there's a sexual element to it as a product of the enmeshment, but I don't think they've ever had sex, for instance).

Annnnd now I'm the one who has to apologise for this being so long, haha. It's definitely a tricky one though, and it will be interesting to see how it shakes out. I really do agree though that I hope they don't lose sight of Gabrielle in the conversation of what she or Lestat might have done, but I'm cautiously optimistic? I think a lot about how much they wove so many of Gabrielle's traits into the show's version of Claudia, particularly her hunger to travel and explore and learn more about the world and the vampire history, on top of the traits they already shared in the books in terms of their body dysmorphia and capcity to detach.

I think they could have so much fun recontextualising some of the complexity of Lestat and Claudia's relationship in Lestat feeling like he effectively made his mother now that we're heading into his POV, and I really do think they've laid some of the groundwork there already. So yes! I hear you, and share a lot of your hopes.

[squib-2006]

So I’ve finally got some of my thoughts on the new season in order and letting my self sit on it for a while

Dragons rising season 2 spoilers!!!!!

So first off holy shit this season has managed to completely wipe out any fears I had for season two. I’m a generally anxious person and am pretty naturally pessimistic about most things and was pretty anxious about season 2 because from the stuff shown in trailers and promotional vids it looked like a “Lloyd chosen one” plot line and I have a history of hating that kinda thing because it’s been beaten to death in ninjago at this point. While a bit of that was there I found it was done quite tastefully and didn’t overwhelm everything else story wise.

I felt that the pacing of the first 6-7ish episodes was a bit all over the place. Having the training arc and the Cole-Zane plot lines happen in the same episode with the pov switching back in forth felt a little bit off to me.

Sora and arins character arcs are shaping up to be pretty good. Soras more confident in her self than season one and she’s trying to help Arin but I feel like the whole using her elemental power to help Arin will backfire into her face. Arin’s insecurity and the whole how can I be useful if I don’t have an element I fell is being handled way better than the dumb kai arc in season 11(dw I will get to that when I get to kai) and it’s about on par with the Lloyd powerless plot from hunted. I am really excited to see what they do next and if Arin will be really mad at sora or not cuz like he’s super nice and stuff and I fell like he would be sad instead of mad.

Nya didn’t really have a lot going on personally except the stuff with Jay which I’m iffy on because so much of Nyas character in older seasons revolved around Jay and I just hope they don’t go back to that and let her character breath a bit.

In the topic of Jay I really really REALLY hope he isn’t evil. That the idea because it’s really out of character and they are already pushing my buttons with the lost memory crap because that’s something that I’ve rarely seen done well at all and it makes me very nervous and I just don’t like it. I do like that Jay just seems to be a guy who hates his job tho that’s fun.

I think the writers are just having fun with Zane and I think that’s cool. I do wanna punch the administration guy who said Zane isn’t a person because he is and he’s a bean and I will not allow this nobody to slander him.

It was nice to see more of Cole this season. I swear him and geo are so cute. The hand holding and the fact that they basically adopted two kids together is amazing and I am fully on board for this ship.

The villans were really interesting. I hope they keep up the quality with them because the mystery of ras’ master and wtf happened with jordana is really exciting. Cinder was intresting and as someone who has no interest in men what so ever I am kinda baffled at why so many people want this man but hey you do you. I do wonder what happened to ash tho. The member of the forbidden five looks interesting too and part of me is hoping that the leaked “evil jay” minifig is actually this guy just powered up cuz the color palette is similar enough and I just don’t want an evil jay.

Wyldfyre is amazing her whole leg being broken then sneaking on the ship to the exasperation of kai (like he would totally have pulled something like this a few seasons ago the hypocrite <3) and the others was so good. I am curious about her talk with egalt she mentioned one of her family members getting the wasting sickness but it can’t be heat wave cuz he seems fine so maybe she had more than one dragon guardian??? I do hope that Kai’s portal abduction does affected going into part 2 and that she bonds with nya and the others over it.

Egalt and rontu were very interesting to me and I’m glad they didn’t go the route of them being the actual creators of spinjitzu and kept the lore consistent I was slightly worried about that. Hope they come back in part 2 too.

Bonzle was a big surprise for me. I likes her personality in season 1 but I didn’t expect her to be so important. She’s really sweet and the scene with wu was great too.

And finally last but definitely not least, the best character in this entire show and my favorite comfort character to beat the shit out of

KAI

IT WAS SO FREAKING GOOD. I LITERALLY HAVE NOT BEEN THIS HAPPY WITH AN EPISODE SINCE SEASON 4 EPISODE 7 THE FORGOTTEN ELEMENT (iykyk) I was literately kicking my feet like a little girl and crying and screaming my head off to the point I woke up other family members. Him unlocking the rising dragon technique by having his sister help and being in harmony with his family is so fucking sweet and I cried like a little bitch it was so good. I am also so happy that they used his old hair and didn’t just slap a smaller version of his current hair onto him (tho I kinda wish they had used the fucked up custom hair that was in the older episodes but I doubt that model is even in their hands so whatever(side side note I love the fucked up hair so much it’s so stupid I love it and will forever miss it)) him being such a dad to wyld fire was so sweet and then using the rising dragon technique after he saw his family in danger was just perfect. I do kinda wish there was more of a dramatic reaction to him getting yeeted by ras into the portal (kinda like any of the other ninja “deaths/major injuries”) but im fine with what we got. Except I kinda hate that only nya has an outward reaction in the aftermath. No lloyd reaction no Cole reaction and nothing from Zane and it makes me mad because every other time a ninja had their moment there was a whole team reaction. But I’m feeling like that’s to nitpicky and there’s still ten more episodes to fix that so fingers crossed. But kai also encouraging bonzle to close the portal even if he’s trapped inside is such a kai thing and hit me like a truck. Also him calling bonzle kid dispite her being much much older than him is funny and sweet cuz Kai’s big brother/father figure side is coming through and it’s so sweet. And the ninja never quit line is so great I was sobbing even more after that. (Tho I don’t know why he said he got it from Lloyd when it would have made more sense to have it be from master wu cuz that’s where he learned it but eh whatever).

While im really happy about kai finally getting some well deserved angst im also very anxious about it too. This could be the perfect opportunity for the writers to just conveniently forget about him for a while and idk if i could sit through that. Kai is a huge part of why I watch ninjago and he’s always been handed the shortest stick character development wise and technically he never got his own focus season either (and no i dont count the pilots because that focused mainly on all the ninja and was only two episodes, i also don’t count season four because it was more a group season, and season 11 doesn’t count because he got a half baked b plot that sucked) I’m very worried that I will loose enjoyment in the show because I dropped the show out of disappointment after season 11 because A LOT of premonitional material made it seem like a kai season and I got my hopes up and was let down so much. I’m very cautious when getting excited about things involving kai in particular because of that and I’m just hoping the writers don’t fuck it up.

Ok that’s enough negativity for once. I’m so excited for more and am foaming at the mouth for more!

[torturedblue]

It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles

Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!

First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss

Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them

Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy

MURDER THE SHREKS!

“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽

Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing

Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:

“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀

“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world

“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀

“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.

“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂

Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭

I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao

All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂

The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together

Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭

And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own

I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.

Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌

Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy

Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣

They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)

The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹

“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”

“No! We accept you!”

“You can come live with us! We accept you!”

“WE VIBE!”

Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ‘aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹

The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there

“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”

Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂

“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”

“That was really heartfelt Raph”

I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation

Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD

Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration

Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho

SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN

Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…

The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore

Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr

[aquillis-main]

This "do Sonic games have good writing" discourse has reminded me of something I've been thinking about on and off recently. Namely, what does it mean for a Sonic game to be good?

We can argue about the merits of writing, characterization, and gameplay all day, but specifically, I've been thinking about the yardstick people often seem to apply to the series. Based on the way they talk about Sonic, you'd think the series needs to have an intensive, watertight lore and a story written by Kojima.

I don't think a Sonic story needs to be deep or dark in order to be good. I don't even think the writing needs to be complex or dynamic, necessarily; sometimes a message is handled best when it's delivered simply.

Although it's true that the games do feature darker elements, those elements have always been handled with tact and sensitivity out of a genuine care for the subject matter. Which brings me to what I think is the real crux of the issue: emotional honesty. Is the work trying to be something it's not?

I came to this realization after contemplating why games like SA2 and Forces (put down your torches and pitchforks) made me mist up where other works might not.

There are a number of reasons, but overall, I think most of it has to do with those games being thematically cohesive, if not always narratively cohesive, and remaining genuine to the messages they try to impart. Both are games that stick the landing despite being uneven in places.

IDW and the movies are not emotionally honest, in the sense that they don't employ any narrative or characterization decisions in service of greater themes. They just make shit happen to get a reaction from the audience, logic and theme be damned. And the kicker is that people gas both IDW and the films up as superior to the games when they're actually inferior, just in terms of sheer technical construction.

SA2 may suffer the occasional bit of wonky writing, but it is thematically coherent enough for me to be able to overlook that. And I'd deign to argue that most things people call plot holes aren't really plot holes, if you just thought about the information the game gives you. The game doesn't spoonfeed it to you, is all.

Battle? Has excellent characterization, as well as employs a foil between Eggman's and Gerald's treatment of Emerl as a commentary on mankind's responsibility wrt WMDs. It can be a bit heavy-handed as far as anti-war tracts go, but "This is the final voice of the last war machine" is still Shadow's rawest line, and no one can take that away from me lol.

I'd argue that SatSR is the best-written Sonic game. Its characterization is nuanced, the execution of its themes was tastefully done - subtly, even - and it features symbolism in a way that doesn't quite shove it in your face the way SatBK does.

It's definitely not on par with something like Silent Hill 2, but it's worth remembering that a Sonic game doesn't need to be Silent Hill 2: Sonic Edition to be good. As long as it tells its story honestly, a lot of flaws can be forgiven.

What do the spinoffs have? Vibes. That's about it. You can't really enjoy them on their own merits because they don't maintain any internal consistency, which is ironic considering how much people claim the games are inconsistent.

IDW? Can anyone tell me what its core message is? "Sonic offers anyone freedom out of his staunch belief in freedom as a general idea, regardless of if it hurts people or if it backfires on him, because it gives him Depth(tm) and Texture(tm) as a character"? "Sonic vs. Eggman is a dumb and harmful cycle we must stop because reasons"?

That's... kind of cynical, don't you think?

SA2 had things to say on anti-authoritarianism, grief, revenge, hope, atonement, and keeping true to yourself even in the face of doubt and hardship (ex. Shadow asserting he's still him even if his memories were false; Sonic seeking to clear his image and asserting "what you see is what you get": the two are foils and mirror reflections).

What was Sonic 3 trying to say? "I knew Maria wouldn't want me to destroy the world, but screw it, I'm doing it anyway because my pain is what matters most"? Shut up and clap for Live and Learn, you nostalgia-blind pleb.

Like, you can tell the difference. One is trying to say something. The other plays at saying something while saying nothing.

Honestly, this is how I feel with the anon trying to take my well-earned 'Sonic the Hedgehog Fan' sticker, despite showcasing that unlike them, I have more proof of myself understanding the games and how they operate.

Not every story is agreeable to people, and they don't have to be. For Sonic, the games are cartoons that you can play.

[july-19th-club]

Fic writer interview

@goingsparebutwithprecision tagged me in this one and then i had it in my drafts for six or eight months so now it is out of the drafts and into the queue

How many works do you have on AO3? a grand NINE

What's your total AO3 word count? 82,429, which is almost the length of a short novel.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Grace (SPN), Between Friends (Magnus Archives), Yellow Asters (SPN), In the Valley of the Ever Young (Umbrella Academy), and The Steward (Discworld)

I guess i'd hoped Another Journey (The Untamed) would do better - but I'm not at all surprised that my quick and dirty post-finale (by like a DAY) Game of Thrones thing didn't do well. On the other end of the spectrum, my quick and dirty post-finale-by-eleven-hours SPN thing did great it's my top seller. That's 600ish kudos so we're not talking phenomenal, but still. Goes to show I think the difference between how game of thrones fans handled the ending (buried heads in sand, wept and gnashed teeth, rent hair and clothing, ranted for hours on a slow monday worknight shift to me while i listened, horrified and enraptured) versus how spn fans, who never had expectations to gradually and then all at once disappointing, handled the ending (shrug, make some jokes, cry not because it's ending but because it happened, and then crack open the laptops for some quality writing about the whole thing). We were already prepared for things to be bad, so when they were even more bad than all THAT? We were actually, I think, in a way kind of pleased and satisfied. If it had ended well i think it would've been a bit of anticlimax after all that time. Whereas in Game of Thrones there was still the slim chance that they might turn it all around at the eleventh hour, so when they didn't the viewers just wanted to hide and lick their wounds. Produced much less immediate fic.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? It really totally depends on the comment and my mood honestly. If it's especially long and glowing I try to give it at least a little bit of attention but it might not be right away.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Tie between Another Journey and In the Valley - In the Valley ends RIGHT before a character death in canon, Another Journey ends right after a non-canonical character death. So take your pic. I don't tend to do death for death's sake, but for these two stories it felt cheap to avoid it.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? FINISHED fic? That people can SEE the ending of? Grace, which I now don't like because it's not complex enough and I completely mischaracterized Jack, but that's what Wishes Were Horses is for. Whenever I get around to it. You know.

Do you write crossovers? Not really. I love worldbuilding but trying to marry two disparate worlds is too much for me, I don't like having to do all the logistics. Probably a less pedantic writer would just not care about the logistics but I also don't READ crossovers because the logistics or lack thereof is such an issue for me, so.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? No but back when I was regularly updating Book of Gold (which I'm linking even though I'm probably going to retire that version at some point and start working on a better rewrite) I had a reader who REALLY liked Steve, a character I had no plans to write from the perspective of because I barely remembered him and did not care about him, and still don't really, and that reader would constantly ask me with waning hope if I was gonna do anything Steve related. And I'd avoid saying a definitive no.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Prev apparently has some good Cyrano de Bergerac smut which I now want to read. I personally have never posted any sex in fics, but not for lack of hoping someday to tastefully get it all out there. I just was raised catholic so if I say anything sexual where people can see it i get embarrassed.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not I haven't checked lol but I only have nine and they're not well known so who give a shit

Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nah. When it comes to writing I don't think I could ever split the work I'd want too much control.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? I do not have favorites because the other ones might get sad . this extends to foods, stuffed childhood animals, and books in my reading stack . also fountain pens

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? At this point any of them lkajslkdjfasdf but i really REALLY doubt the immediate future of the Book of Gold, which is a shame because I have all the major beats mapped out in my head. It's just so much more ambitious than even the other long fics I have in my documents files, the scope is years instead of days or months, and it's a lot of planning and prep work that I can't help but feel I should instead spend on either quicker-to-finish stories or original ones.

What are your writing strengths? I think I have a strong voice, a good turn of phrase, that sort of thing. I also think that after years of trying I have gotten good at realistic dialogue that's not TOO realistic as to be unreadable, and I've learned how to be funny. Worldbuilding.

What are your writing weaknesses? Complex plotting, which sucks because I love complex plotting and want to do more of it. Also punctuality, which is not a writing weakness so much as a regular one, and the really big one is character relationships and consistency over time. I struggle to fit all those pieces together/remember whether they fit together when I started. This probably has to do with my social struggles in real life lol it's very hard for me to write characters thinking/believing/philosophizing/reacting differently than I would, at least without falling back into the 'everybody is me' mode that risks them coming off flat. I think my way around this for most of my writing life has been to write from one person's first-person perspective, which helps alleviate that problem, but I'm trying to do different things and expand my skill set/comfort zone.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? It's cool and I like it but I only know one other language than the one I speak and I speak it at a second grade level. So I don't do this much but I enjoy reading it. Love to copy and paste the language I don't know into a dictionary of words and parse it out it's like a fun secret treat.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Discworld TECHNICALLY . but really The Outsiders and really really even before that I have an unnamed undescribed thing that I hope to turn into a short story that is almost not at all like the fic. so i will not discuss it

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? Star Trek (I've written for it but haven't finished and posted yet). Perhaps True Blood. I have some ideas.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Again I cant play favorites BUT. It's probably Another Journey. It just came together so easily and the structure fell right into place and I managed to do a lot of stuff that was challenging in a way that felt successful. Book of Gold is next to my heart so close that I'm sure it's not actually GOOD and I don't wanna call it 'favorite' because it's a different thing. It's a sibling.

@whileyoureinschoolidothisallday do you want to do a tag game? and any of the other writing mutuals on here who've plied their hands

[dokidokitsuna]

Hey, have you watched the anime "senki zesshou symphogear"?

It's a very great magical girl anime and if you haven't watched it yet you definitely should! I think you would like it.

...This has got to be a trick. ^^; You already know, don't you?? I can't remember talking about anything remotely similar to Symphogear lately...I mean, unless you just really like the anime and want to recommend it to everyone, in which case 🆗

Anyway, short answer: Yes, I have. ^^

Long answer: I used to be a Symphogear SUPERFAN. I watched all 5 seasons of the anime and the OVAs, I read the S1 companion manga (and did some panel recolors~); I archived the whole S1 soundtrack, I memorized all the girls' activation songs, and I was an active contributor and later a translator on the FANDOM wiki. If the new people haven't completely rewritten everything, you can probably still find a few of my articles there. I focused mainly on episode summaries and the introductory blurbs for the XD Unlimited mobile game events. I'm pretty sure my song translations have all been edited out, unfortunately...=_=

Anyway, I also used to review the series as it aired on my DeviantArt account. ^^ It was a big part of my life for a while there, and I still keep tabs on it occasionally...nothing's really been happening lately, though. Even the mobile game is shut down at this point...I really hope all their recent attempts to keep the hype alive are actually leading up to something, because if not...I mean, either do something new with the series or just let it die gracefully, y'know?

Like, instead of getting normal promotional things-- merch drops, pop-up cafes, sponsorship collabs-- we're getting DJ shows and chiptune remixes (that weren't even that good...) with pretend videogame visuals...it's making me suspicious. If we're gonna do this, the 'cinematic production' they're talking about better be good. I don't want 90 minutes of 'grown-up Hibiki with long hair reminisces about her earlier missions (so we can fill the runtime with flashbacks)'...because if they do that and it flops, they're not gonna recoup the money they're spending on these...things, and then the series really WILL die. Sadly and un-gracefully...

...It probably shows that I have a complex relationship with the franchise. ^^; I have seen Symphogear at its best and its worst; I have loved it at times and I have hated it at times. I agree that it's a high-quality anime...unfortunately, I think a large part of the reason that I kinda fell off it is because its final few episodes were some of the most disappointing. I loved Season 5, but they really didn't have any creative ideas for the actual end of the series and by golly it showed. ^^;;; Left a bad taste in my mouth that remains to this day.

Because of that, if I ever do talk about it again-- maybe after that 'cinematic production' finally releases-- it's gonna be with a critical lens. Symphogear deserves its flowers for its consistently beautiful animation, A+ character design and action-packed story...but it also has a lot of problems that I've never seen anyone mention. Like its bad habit of "redeeming" villains with deathbed gestures...or its occasionally sloppy handling of trauma (*cough* tomato metaphor *cough*) that honestly got progressively sloppier over the course of the series. How do you start with Tsubasa's and Chris's incredible character arcs and end with Maria thanking her mother for abusing her...? o_O

Also, and this is a big one: there's a lot of fanservice, some of it honestly NSFW, and a some of it actively detrimental to the story. I don't mind bath scenes and pool scenes during the casual moments of the story, but I do mind gratuitous boob jiggles during the hyper-serious final boss fight. T_T Pick a tone, please. To Symphogear's credit, it handles its fanservice with a rare level of maturity-- now that I think about it, there's a lot of nudity in the series too, but they tend to do it so tastefully I never thought to point it out. But that means when it DOES start doing more immature stuff I can't really forgive it...like, come on; you're better than this.

^I say all of that because if any of you read this ask and want to check out the anime that changed my brain chemistry, you deserve to know beforehand. I really hate how when people talk about anime they only ever say "its good, it's really good!" without addressing anything that happens in it that might be uncomfortable or triggering (Symphogear is included there, just FYI: most of the abuse the characters have suffered is offscreen (like Chris being sex trafficked as a child) but it does get brought up, and you will see a bit of it occasionally). It's gotten to the point where I simply don't trust people when they recommend anime anymore; even if it's something as simple as having really excessive fanservice (for example: Mai-Hime. Great premise, fun characters, interesting story. Not watching it again, tho) I know they're not going to mention it. They never do.

As anime slowly becomes more mainstream, though, I'm hoping that culture is going to change. Action anime in particular routinely handles heavy, sensitive topics with graphic visuals, and not wanting to be surprised by that doesn't make you a 'tourist' or whatever they're calling people these days. Content warnings harm no one; they only help.

[sapphire-weapon]

Idk if I'm alone in thinking this, but the way RE treats Leon, his trauma and alcoholism pisses me off. I resonate with how Leon abuses substances to cope with his mental health, but the way Vendetta handled that aspect is absolutely trash. They even wrote Chris extremely OOC imo.

Leon's a MESS. Like, desperate for an intervention kinda mess and instead of handling that topic tastefully, they had Chris come in (who's normally an incredibly empathetic man, ESPECIALLY as somebody who's abused alcohol himself) and he just kinda yelled and shamed Leon until he listened and did as he was told.

Idk, as someone who struggles with substance abuse themselves, I just think RE and Vendetta really lacked tact and care when handling this storyline. Leon was NOT okay. Never has been and could've added anlot more substance, realism and care through this storyline but idk they just kinda went "heroes don't do that" period and it was so shit and idk! What's your opinoon?

I love Leon so much, because truthfully I see parts of myself in him. The young naivety, the growing up jaded, the spark of hope, the depression, the alcohol. It's why I can't stand the "suave, unproblematic Aeon guy who fucks and does no wrong", because it just isn't how I perceive him. He's a sensitive person that's been endlessly taken advantage of and turned to destructive habits to cope. More important, he has the POTENTIAL to better himself and find the love amd compassion that he deserves but it's just... never fucking written and it's infuriating.

So... some background on me. I haven't talked about it very much on tumblr, but I've also had my issues with substance abuse. It started with an Ambien addiction in college, morphed into a drinking habit in Korea, and then settled as a nicotine addiction ever since. My brain chemistry is still fucked up from the Ambien, and I may never be able to have a normal and natural night's sleep ever again. And even though I quit cigarettes, I still vape, because I can't bring myself to give up the nicotine.

For reference, I graduated college in 2011, so the Ambien thing started in around 2010. I'm looking at 13 years of this shit bouncing around and taking different forms but never actually going away.

But my reaction to Leon's drinking in Vendetta was the polar opposite of yours.

That doesn't make your reaction wrong. I understand why you feel the way that you do, and I'm more than certain that you are not the only addict who's had this reaction to it. We all deal with our shit differently.

But if you'll allow me to offer an alternate perspective as someone who's down in this shit with you:

Chris had a drinking problem in RE6. The only thing that pulled him out of the bottle was Piers forcing him to face his trauma and refusing to let him look away -- because that's why Chris was drinking in the first place. He didn't want to face it; he didn't want to remember. But he had to, and Piers was the only one who loved him enough to make sure that he did.

And then Piers died for him. And Chris has had to live with that on his conscience ever since.

When he saw Leon deep in the bottle in Vendetta, all of that came back up -- because Leon's not just anyone. Leon is arguably Chris's closest friend at this point in the story (since Jill is still in physical rehab), and Leon is also someone who -- like Piers -- is Chris's junior and someone he felt compelled to look after, even if it's not in an official capacity as his Captain (as evidenced by Chris going out of his way to check in on Leon during RE6).

So, when Chris shouts at Leon about his drinking, he's not doing it out of a lack of empathy. It's a panicked trauma response. When he shouts at Leon, he's shouting at himself. It's a combination of him going "learn from my mistakes" and "I literally wouldn't be able to cope if I saw you get as bad as I wanted to get when I was where you are. Don't make me go through that; I can't lose you."

So, for me, when I saw him doing that, I immediately got where it was coming from, and I felt that -- because my reaction probably would have been similar. I am very prone to panicked bursts of anger when I see someone I love about to make the same mistake that I've already had to live through. I just default to "NO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING DON'T FUCKING DO THAT"

So like... that whole thing, I understood. It made sense to me.

What I found upsetting was not the way Vendetta had Chris responding to Leon turning to alcohol, but rather the way Chris responded to Leon's very obvious cries for help and not so subtle hints that he's thinking about suicide again.

That part, Chris did not get. It flew past his head completely.

Leon very un-subtly hints at being suicidal twice in Vendetta: once in the bar scene, and once at the very end.

Leon wonders aloud "Is this what my life's supposed to be?" Chris asks him if he plans on just sitting here doing nothing and drinking for the next full week, and Leon's response is "I don't know. I never make plans that far ahead."

And at the end, he looks at Chris and asks him "How long can we keep going on like this?"

Leon is so close to pulling the trigger on himself in Vendetta that he can't even promise Chris next week, and then he asks how much longer he's expected to go on.

Chris's response (or lack thereof) is seriously fucked up, and there's no acknowledgement by the story itself that it even realizes how fucked up it is. That's where Vendetta dropped the ball.

We know obviously Leon never went through with it, his depressive episode passed, and he's on much more stable ground come DI. We can probably safely assume that Leon eventually made it clearer to Chris what was going on his head, and then Chris pulled his own head out of his ass, but. The fact that we don't see that because the movie had to end is just such a failure of character development and storytelling in a massive way.

But this also goes back to the whole concept that the CGI movies will never have a pivotal story moment in them -- neither from a plot perspective nor a character development perspective -- because Resident Evil is a game series above all else. The most important moments have to be contained to the games, because that is ultimately what Capcom is trying to sell, and they don't want game sales impacted because players are out of the loop because they missed a supplementary movie.

I mean, just look at the shitshow that was Final Fantasy XV.

So, when I look at it from that angle, I realize that Vendetta's actual issue wasn't a lack of empathy or understanding of substance abuse, trauma, and depression. Vendetta's problem was that it was way too ambitious for what it wanted to try to do with the characters. And either the writers or the director or both should have realized that and scaled it back instead of just releasing a half-realized vision that came off as ignorant at best and callous at worst.

Am I making any sense at all? lmao sorry for the huge rant about this. But this is something I've been thinking about for a long time, too.

[amostimprobabledream]

My Sin, My Siren (Homelander x OC)

Hello, Hello! So I'm finally getting around to something I've been wanting to do for a while - post a Homelander x OC fic! Bear with me as it's been a hot minute since I watched the show but I think this might be fun. Hope you enjoy! -

Quiet, melancholy music blared through tinny speakers, unseen by the figures onscreen.

The camera panned across a desolate landscape featuring a devastated Manhattan. As the camera swept across the once-busy street to really let you know how utterly fucked the situation was, a woman in a tastefully ruined outfit stumbled into view.

“Oh, god!” she cried, grabbing her hair. “What’s happened?!”

A man, not as artfully messy as the woman and instead just plain messy, joined her, and they clung to each other as they gazed out at the wreckage.

“It’s hopeless…” the man said, shaking his head. “They’re too strong. Who’s going to save us now?”

A set of booted feet walked into frame, the iconic American flag swaying. Instantly the fanfare switched up, into the iconic boom that viewers knew and loved, along with a familiar voice, sure and strong:

“Looks like you…need a hero.”

“So, what do you think?” Ashley Barrett said excitedly to the young woman beside her, hitting pause on the laptop, freezing the image of The Seven standing heroically against a post-apocalyptic background, the words Dawn of The Seven emblazoned across the screen in bold lettering.

Ashley may have worked with the shining stars of Vought on a regular basis and, thanks to the untimely demise of Madelyn Stilwell, she was climbing ever higher on the corporate career ladder. But she was still only human, and it wasn’t every day you had a face-to-face discussion with a freaking popstar! (Well, former popstar – her music taste had rather changed in recent years).

Cleo – no surname for her, at least not to the general public, she was simply Cleo - said nothing.

She just stared at Ashley, half of her elfin face obscured by sunglasses, which on the wrong person would have made her look like an insect, but through some magic of celebrities being above such things, they worked in her favour. It was a bright, sunny day, but Ashley suspected that she was actually wearing them to hide a hangover, considering her laconic she had been throughout this entire meeting. Perhaps it hadn’t been strictly necessary for her to visit the set to view the footage of the newest Seven movie, but Ashley had been unable to resist pushing the issue – it would be good if a paparazzi happened to get a snapshot of Cleo on-set, even in the unlikely event they went with someone else.

“This isn’t the final cut, of course, but it’s a general idea of what we’re going for for the seventh movie of the Seven franchise.” Ashely babbled on when Cleo didn’t offer her a response – perhaps she needed to sell it harder, although Cleo’s agent had sworn that she was indeed interested in Vought’s offer. “You know, it’s really going to tie in everything together nicely, we’re handling Translucent’s absence very tastefully and A-Train will-“

Slowly, as Ashley spoke, Cleo’s jaw flexed and a large, pink bubble slowly inflated from between her lips, the woman methodically making it larger and larger as Ashley babbled on, until she was forced to sputter to a stop when said bubble became so large that Ashley couldn’t actually see Cleo for it – for one bizarre moment it almost looked like the thing had consumed the entirety of her head, given that Cleo’s hair was only a shade or so darker than the gum.

Satisfied Ashley had stopped talking, Cleo popped the bubble with a quick, decisive chomp of her teeth, sucking the deflated gum back into her mouth and wedging it into her cheek. It was starting to lose its flavour since she’d been chewing it since she the hotel this morning, but she refused to spit it out until she could get her hands on a fresh pack of the stuff.

“Fine.” Cleo said, feeling like it had been an age since her actual input was required – this Audrey woman or whatever her name was had been continuing a one-woman monologue for what felt like forever. Cleo checked her phone as she spoke. “I can probably squeeze something in between, you know, my tour dates.”

Despite the lackluster response, Ashley rallied gamely – she was a professional, after all.

“Really? That’s great! Because you know, viewership is changing from the first The Seven movie and with your vocal talents it will really draw in the market on- “

Cleo raised her eyes, her irritation – which had been simmering before she’d even opened her eyes – finally became too much. She’d have to get hold of an aide and ask for some paracetamol or preferably something stronger. Much stronger.

“Ugh, spare me the corporate bullshit, won’t you?” Cleo snapped, finally looking away from the smartphone in her hands to shoot a glare at Ashley which managed to be palpable despite the sunglasses. “My agent’s already cleared it, so I’ll do it. Jeez. It’s not like writing a single for this schlockfest is gonna be hard, is it?”

“It’s not?” Ashley said, stupidly. Cleo inhaled slowly through her nose.

“It’s just like every anthem for the soundtrack of these damn movies. All about conquering the odds and uniting under the worst and diversity and God bless America, blah blah blah.” Cleo said, the disdain dripping off her voice making it pretty clear what she thought of said messages. “Is it too much to ask that you don’t have some D-lister doing a shitty pop remix of my song over the end credits, by the way? Like can I get some kind of clause in my contract specifying that?”

After all, if she was going to attach her voice to some stupid blockbuster movie, she might as well try to have as much control over the song as possible, right? Ashley sputtered but only for a moment, hurriedly tapping something into her phone.

“Well, yes, of course, I’m sure that wouldn’t be a problem.” She said, as she started typing up an email to Andy, ordering him not to call any said D-list musicians – they had a list of them pre-approved by Vought that had lined up, so she’d have to make sure nobody had jumped the gun and breathed a word of it early. She’d fucking kill them if they had and Cleo walked.

"You know," a voice rang out across the way, making Ashley nearly jump out of her skin. She heard that voice in her dreams sometimes – or perhaps nightmares would be a more accurate term. "Most people would consider it a lucrative business opportunity…hell, maybe even an honour - to be allowed to write a single for a movie about The Seven."

Both women turned.

Homelander himself stood there, clearly having overheard if not all then most of the conversation. He strode closer, like a big cat homing in on its selected prey, until he stopped just in front of Ashley and Cleo. Homelander clasped his hands behind his back and cocked his head, addressing the comment to the latter. The next sentence was spat out with a cheery venom that was a specialty of his, his blue eyes narrowing just a fraction.

"So what the fuck is your problem?"

Ashley looked horrified, but the newcomer looked at him without a hint of shame. Behind those ridiculously large sunglasses, Homelander saw her eyebrows quirk up as she looked him up and down - everybody in the country knew what Homelander looked like, of course, but people always tended to be surprised by how big he was up close.

She was attractive, he conceded, even if she had chosen to dye her hair that gaudy shade of pink, like a waterfall of candyfloss, sideways bangs just brushing the upper frame of the sunglasses. Her body was the result of strict diet and exercise typical of young, female musicians under a record label, though as his eyes slid down her body, Homelander noted that her breasts were definitely not the work of a surgeon - they looked pert and squeezable in that black Lycra tank top that was hugging them with vigour. And on the breeze, there was a strong tang of a sweet, tangy perfume…and…something else, something not quite -

She noted him blatantly sizing her up and scoffed.

"Oh, come on." She said, as if she already knew him, as if they were on equal enough terms that she was addressing him so casually. "Nobody likes to admit they're putting out a bad product, but this movie is pandering, derivative bullshit. I mean, ‘Girls Get It Done?’ Fucking really? How did they manage to stay that without wanting to fucking barf?"

Homelander's smile tightened and Ashley made this nervous shifting motion in his peripheral vision, like a little kid needing to use the bathroom but too timid to put up their hand for permission.

"Oh, really?" he said, through gritted teeth. Still smiling, though. Always still smiling. The girl shrugged, as if it was all one and the same to her.

"Look, it's not your fault. Nobody’s blaming you guys for acting in this thing. You guys didn't write this godawful script – you’re just in it for the paycheck, people respect that. But it's not like I'm the only one who's noticed the quality of these movies has gone down because Vought just wants to pump them out faster to sell more action figures and keep up with all the other movies franchises right now. That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

"Cleo's been selected to bring in the young millennial audience," Ashley jumped in, quickly, before Cleo could say anything else. Homelander probably didn’t know who she was – she was famous, of course, but they simply didn’t operate in the same sphere. "Of course, the decision isn't final yet, but-"

Cleo shot Ashley a look, and the sunglasses didn't hide her expression from Homelander. No doubt she thought the decision not yet being final was ridiculous, especially after she'd had to endure the unbearable burden of being escorted to a movie set and viewing footage of an upcoming blockbuster for a multi-million-dollar franchise before anyone else.

Before Homelander could wipe that supercilious smirk off the bitch’s face – Cleo, was it? – another woman with curly, dark hair and an equally dark suit approached them with a dazzling smile.

“So sorry about that, it was an urgent call.” she said, smoothly assimilating into the conversation like a pro. “Are we all good here? Oh, Homelander, what a pleasure!”

Homelander nodded curtly, slightly mollified at the genuine delight from the agent, though his sharp blue eyes cut right back to Cleo, who was fanning herself with one hand. Despite her poise, her face had a faint sheen of sweat.

“Jess, can we get the fuck out of this heat? I’ve seen everything I need to see, and I need to do some stuff before tonight.”

“Right, of course.” Jessica nodded, before turning to Homelander and Ashley. “Can’t wait to see the final product, you guys, you all are working so hard! We’ll let you know when a demo is ready and you can have a listen to it, see if it needs any tweaking or rewording or whatever before everything’s made official. “Ashley, you have my number. Ciao, ciao!”

With a wave, Jessica managed to chivvy Cleo ahead of her and depart from the conversation all in one smooth move, even with Cleo side-eyeing her at the notion that she would need to put in extra work into the single once she’d written it. Ashley glanced at Homelander to gauge his expression, but to her dismay it had settled into that eerie blankness he sometimes got – that look that meant you were never sure which way his mood was going to swing.

“Well, I’d better…” Ashley said, and shuffled away when it became clear Homelander was no longer paying any attention to her. No doubt he’d find her later when he wanted something else.

Homelander stood for a moment, surrounded by the chaos of a movie set and all the people who were supposed to make sure it ran smoothly.

“Oh, my god.” He heard Starlight say, and he turned his head to see her in her civilian clothing, her ponytail whipping around as she watched the two women leaving set. “Was that Cleo?”

There was a note of genuine pleasure and surprise in her voice, even if she tried to play it down, Homelander heard it loud and clear, especially given how Starlight had taken to walking and talking like a Vought-approved mannequin recently. No doubt it was her idea of being on her best behaviour after she was spreading her legs for some fuckwit who had helped bring down Translucent.

He forced himself to turn away from those thoughts – dwelling on how that had all gone down, the pieces slotting into place, every misfortune that had landed on him – landed on The Seven – finally making perfect sense, and then Maeve of all people convincing him otherwise…well, even if Homelander had understood the logic, had heart the rabbit-thumping of Starlight’s heart and was convinced she was telling the truth, it still annoyed him immensely, seeing Maeve leap to that doe-eyed little idiot’s defense when she barely looked at him, these days.

“Um, Homelander?”

A voice broke into his reverie and though the distraction was something of a necessary one, he still snapped a petulant;

“What?”

The aide flinched, clutching her tablet to her chest like a shield.

“Ashley asked me to say hair and makeup just wanted to quickly see you before we start shooting the bridge scene. Uh, in the meantime, is there anything you need?”

Homelander pressed his lips together a moment, before an idea suddenly burst in his brain like the flashbang of a grenade. With startling speed, he turned and clapped a friendly hand on the aide’s shoulder – her knees buckled a little, but she managed to stay standing, peering up into the toothy smile on Homelander’s face.

“Actually, there is.” Homelander said, his tone pleasant. “Need you to look something for me.”

The aide brightened a little, hopeful that she had been able to salvage his obviously bad mood a little, and she hurriedly lifted up her tablet, propping it on one hand and preparing to type.

“Of course! Just name it.”

Homelander smiled, a plan already forming in his mind.

“Here’s what I want…”

~

The crowd was alight with excitement.

People holding up placards or photographs, girls in flower crowns and boys in eyeliner. Total strangers looking at each other with excited smiles, young and old united in their fervour. All heads were turned towards the stage, or to the person next to them to mutter something. Somewhere in the distance was a scream of exhilaration or excitement, a rising cry like a firework.

At the front of the stage stood Cleo. Despite the black minidress she had on that looked more like a racy nightgown than actual clothes, she seemed perfectly at ease standing in front of a crowd of thousands with so much of her on display. She wore tough-looking boots to counteract the girlish lace on the bottom of the dress, and a disarming smirk spread across her lips, painted a dark plum. Dry ice plumed around her ankles as she approached the lip of the stage.

“Y’alright, New York?” she drawled into her microphone, and the audience screamed. Thunder rumbled overhead, the clouds above the stadium an ominous dark grey. Cleo laughed as she walked across the stage, the weather threatening rain seeming to energise her.

“Yeah!” cried the audience.

Cleo thrust a finger at the crowd, the dagger-like end of her nail jabbing into the night.

“I can’t fucking hear you!”

“YEAH!” the audience roared, swept up in their own excitement.

Cleo chuckled softly, adrenaline pulsing through her. They were staring up at her, waiting with bated breath. And she knew not to keep them waiting too long, so she sucked in a lungful of night air and began to sing, the microphone clutched in her hand.

The audience recognised the song – one of Cleo’s most popular tracks from her debut album, and nostalgic sighs and a few enthusiastic screams swept out over the crowd. She loved the song too, and knowing that they loved it nearly as much as she did strengthened her, like she’d taken a hit of something.

High, high above the crowd, standing atop one of the floodlights that ringed the stadium, a figure watched the proceedings like a hawk, hands behind his back, chin down. He wasn’t worried about being spotted – even if one of the cretins down below had vision that good, none of them would tear their eyes away from the girl onstage.

Cleo’s voice poured through the speakers, honey with a hint of a rasp in it. Homelander’s fine-tuned hearing meant that he was picky about what music he would tolerate – even moreso what he’d actively go out of his way to listen to. He didn’t understand a lot of the beeping and shrill electronic noises that seemed popular lately and had little patience for the autotuned screeching so many ‘musicians’ relied on either.

But this?

This was something else.

Despite himself, he could feel goosebumps rippling across the flesh concealed beneath his suit. From his vantage point he could see and hear everything perfectly, and he drank it in greedily, relishing that he alone had such a perfect view.

Who would have thought such an obnoxious brat would have a voice like that? Homelander’s eyes took on a half-lidded slant as he observed her. Cleo. She was in her element, playing up to an audience that loved her, couldn’t get enough of her and her singing. He could understand what she was feeling, the euphoria that comes from being adored by people you’d never even know the names of. And all you had to do was perform for them, give them exactly what they wanted, and they were yours.

Cleo didn’t know she had an extra audience member, of course. One who hadn’t paid, no less. But Homelander made no move to make himself known – he just let the melodious voice wash over him in a soothing tide, that voice infiltrating his ears and settling in his mind. He could have listened to her for hours. He’d never heard a thing like it. Like her.

Suddenly, he knew that the decision of who was writing the single for Dawn of the Seven wasn’t unclear it all. It was her, or no-one.

Homelander would make sure of it.

[cosmicrescendo]

i hope kimipre's soundtrack is good and also plentiful if they attempt to follow their footsteps of other kids' idol stuff (in that "battles" are just performing the song, or even if it's just their finishing move) because like.

my heart has been tempered by those who have come before but you can't only do like. one solo for each member + group song + OP/ED. that's actually so blampehsous to the genre i'll actually blow up. /j

because the thing is like. that's a whole ass year. you have to tastefully arrange your week-to-week setlist so that everyone (in the audience) Gets Something. now if you're Sick With It (have money) you can have 20+ songs, non including alternative singers for existing songs which stretches the point up to like. 25-30+? (classickatsu) And if you're Frugal you can make do with like 13 songs as long as you Get Creative (pretty-series). But that's only counting *anime* because these franchises have like. Game-exclusive music which pretty much double (or triples!) the soundtrack.

But of course this stuff is only possible because uh. the casts are typically Pretty Big (typically 6-7+) which is why. i am So Curious in how kimipre will handle it. my gut reaction is that 1) both mascots will henshin giving us 5 to make things more manageable and 2) no rival idol group because i feel they would've introduced them by now which is like. A Deep and Unforgivable Sin in the world of girls' idol anime........but given precure's framework as a hero show I (tearfully) get it. But hey. Wonpre introduced its villains in like the 30s after everyone assumed it was a villianless show so You Never Know! lmao

ive dont really got a point but im just rambling. im pretty sure everyone knows my true wish beyond anything is precure continues to be a show where the phrase "girls wanna rampage too!" still rings true BUT if bamco wants to gut my beloved right in front of my eyes and then turn around and playfully slap an idol-theme on precure (while using my beloved's motifs/staff) in such quick succession then not going full-tilt into the gimmick for one year only will just piss me off further >:( /hj

[animezinglife]

On your original fiction poll about depression, I think it depends on how it's handled. I don't like the formula where the romance fixes a character's depression because it's not realistic, but if she just has depression, that's different. Hope this makes sense!

It makes perfect sense, and I agree with you there.

While a reader who knows and understands those symptoms would definitely see some of them in my character, it's not at all who she is or her entire personality. She would fall into the very high-functioning category.

It's not a situation where she dumps everything on her love interest or one in which he becomes her counselor, either. He is highly intelligent and a good listener, though, and while her relationship with him isn't a fix, it does help her. He's her friend first and foremost. He encourages her healthier habits.

He's not her babysitter, her mindless cheerleader, or anything of the like. He is a good, quality friend to her...and they happen to be attracted to each other.

Overall, the biggest role he plays in regards to her depression is helping her heal the parts of her life she can, and she ends up better for it.

She's not mopey, a whiner, or anything of the sort, but it's been surprising to see not pushback in how those moments where she is alone with her thoughts are written (which I'd fully understand), but the fact that she has them at all. I don't really know what to make of that.

For what it's worth, I myself have Major Depressive Disorder. It's written mindfully and tastefully, so it's a bit...tricky to not take that a bit personally when I'm being told she needs to be "perkier" or never have these thoughts in order for readers to root for her love story.

I can also say from experience that having a good, quality friend you're attracted to can really help get you through a rough patch in life. It's not a cure-all, but it's still a positive thing to have in life.

Thank you for taking the time to send this and share your thoughts. I appreciate it!

[sithisreadingcorner]

Hello :') I would like to join September's reading. Please call me A 🌼 I'm on a job hunting journey and I got a rejection from a company so I'm planning to redo my résumé and apply again to other job opportunities. Can I ask for any news about this job hunting or maybe a general reading for this one?

Thank you so much! D.o.b: 10/22/2000 👀

Welcome A!🥰I hope you are doing well and writing those CVs persistently. Let's see if the cards have some advice to give you on your hunt.

the happy squirrel reversed. the house of god. ace of cups reversed

You know what is interesting? I got this deck a year ago, and I have used it an innumerable amount of times. Like triple digits amount, for sure. It's kinda my default deck right now. And some cards have come out so many times that I have their meanings memorized already. But NONE of these three cards have EVER come out before, until now. And I think this is not only very special, but is also indicative of the overall message that they are saying, which is that it seems like you got every element that you need... but you need to combine them in a way that is new, unique, and a little spicy. A tiny little outside the box. And I mean... it's a CV. How outside the box can it be?! I'm sure you will take this with you within reason, but first I wanna go into something.

It seems that you take rejection from companies (or maybe just this particular one) very hard, because you are afraid where your career is going, you are afraid of the instability, or something like that. Based on the cards I don't think you actually wanted to work for THIS company that much, but because you wanted that security, you were kinda lost in that fantasy and now that it was taken from you it's depressing and sad. Trust me. 100000% BEEN THERE. But I'm almost completely sure that this job opportunity was like, lukewarm at best for you and somewhere out there is still better.

Getting noticed in the CV stage is always hard. And to be honest, I don't really think that there's anything wrong with your CV or generally your approach, it just gets lost among others. And you either just keep going until you find something, OR... maybe you could try to tastefully sprinkle it with a little something that makes it ever so slightly stand out. Now the thing is, that to me it seems like you are a very interesting person who does a lot of stuff outside of your work, and that has given you various skills, but you don't know how to bring that into your work situation, or maybe you don't think that it's relevant. And... well, obviously I don't know either but that is what you need to think about, because EVERY useful skill makes you a better/more interesting candidate. Example. I have a shop of my own, which in itself had nothing to do with the job that I was applying for when I was, but the shop makes me interact with people a lot, and thus I learned how to handle them with professional kindness and patience, which was EXTREMELY relevant. This is the kind of stuff that you need to think about.

I'll be honest with you, I don't know that much about job hunting so take my words with a pinch of salt. I will say one thing, though. Based on what the cards are showing me, I think you are very scared of something that is not actually there. So my biggest takeaway for you would be to just be confident and take a deep breath - catch yourself before you panic. It's not helping, and I think things are going to be all right.

I pulled you a cookie fortune that said: "You are a loving person, and are admired." Yeah, no doubt about that!

september readings (5 of 8)

tips? 💗

[a-spoonful-o-generosity]

Yikes, where do I begin? I loved Afterlife. I thought it was a fitting tribute to Harold Rammis and tastefully done how his memory was handled. It may be jarring to hear Ray say certain things about Egon but trust me, it was worth it when you understand the context of events. Sadly GBII is skipped over pretty much. There was one line to acknowledge it (I think) but only first one was heavily referenced.

I'm sorry after what was done to Indiana Jones I want to watch Disney burn and it seems many movies and media illicit disgust and sadness in me these days.

I did not even finish the last 5 episodes of MLP: FIM season 9 due to having it spoiled who Grogar was. Gen5 is no better. It's much worse. All my favorite franchises have been rebooted to Hell and I have lost all respect or love for Hollywood and mainstream media in general. I just watch Mauler, The Critical Drinker and Vito tear them apart on youtube.

You mention Doc Strange. Multiverse of Madness burned me out on Marvel in every way. And it's sad. I really liked that character and actor.

Top Gun II was amazing. But Tom can't save movies himself.

I hope you do change the industry and I will watch your movie without spoilers as promised.

It hurts my soul to know Barbie is as creative as they got before everything shut down again. Oppenheimer looks good but not three hours in a theatre worth. Maybe I'll stream or DVD it. I hear the last hour is really depressing.

As I said, my only hope is Ryan and Hugh don't allow Disney to make fools of them in Deadpool3.

It's not a great hope, more like a very desperate hope.

Are you looking to be a writer or an actor?

(Sorry for the late & long answer Silvy I passed out last night after watching a movie with my girlfriend. I also apologize for my outburst I woke up from a nap and didn't let my logic brain take over.) Eventually.....Yes! I know others have the right to their own opinions but I can't let that rip away my dreams of achieving my goals I've been working since '15. I actually have a lot (like 10-15) of scripts in which a couple of them are MLP action movies that I would like to be in motion capture which is one of my favorite type of acting to see and would love to do (If they can turn doctor strange into a dragon in the hobbit, we definitely have the technology to make motion capture MLP). I've backlogged them because I lost interest for the last seven years to write anything. I go back to them every once in a while to show how shitty of a writer and amateur I was before college. I've even done acting for a while as well. Mostly stage acting back in middle school where I did Shakespeare (Othello, Hamlet, & yes Romeo & Juliet) and college (I got to do a scene from a good play called 'Red' where I got to show off my acting skills in front of people not even familiar or interested in acting and I raised a few eyebrows indeed. Yes a lot of movies seem lack of creativity but there are a lot of them that do like a movie that me and my partner @noxs-mun watched last night which was 'Nimona' which was the best. I'm not gonna say nothing. This is one that you will have to watch yourself. Now, I have been on a professional movie set back in May, it was a horror feature length film called, 'Skinwalkers' and in which I was brought on as a Camera Production Assistant and where I met my new best friend Gene Sung (the Director of Photography) and I was promoted to 2nd Assistant Cameraman now I am a Assistant Cameraman they are both different job roles. 1st A.C. works closely to the D.P. and does all the focus pulling to make sure the shot isn't too blurry and it's very sharp (unless the shot require it to be blurry). At the end of the shoot day (depends on the set and director and how they want each day to go which is the Assistant Director's job. They come up with a schedule each night to say what shots need to be done each day and some days go from 10-19 hours) the assistant cameraman what we call 'media dump' onto a laptop or PC and save it in a folder along our shooting process. I just wanted to added that last part to kind of teach you about some of the behind the scenes work on what happens on a professional set in movies. The process is similar in television but they work on multiple episodes instead of a long movie. I agree to your point yes movies are getting longer and longer but for some of my scripts I kind of need that amount of time to put more into my stories. I'd love to discuss more of this with you and have a nice conversation about movies cause we share a lot of movies we like in our long friendship going on almost 10 years (as of April 14th of next year) Ghostbusters 1&2 (Fuck 2016 one. Haven't seen Afterlife yet) Mad Max (All of them. I just love all of them) if your laptop ever decides not to fuck up I am on discord in which I hold movie nights with my girlfriend every Friday. We're clearing our backlogs right now and watching something new as well. Love ya Silvy, ~Flare Flare

[sockablock]

(TW for panic attacks and discussions about trauma)

— — —

The thing is, Beau's friends are shit fighters.

To be clear—she's not saying that they're bad at fighting, gods know Veth's a force of nature with her crossbow and all of the spell-slingers can kill with a word—it's just that when it comes to fighting, actual fighting, that down-and-dirty fist-on-flesh shit, her friends suck. Most of 'em just run, or they’d sweet-talk a surrender, or go back to slinging spells.

Beau would never admit she misses the Soul, but at least those people knew how to block. At least Dairon would make her work for it, wouldn't tell her to please, gods, Beau, stop punching me, I give!

Fjord's better these days, but not good enough.

Which is why, on their third morning back in Nicodranas, when Beau opens the door to see Yasha looking restless, she knows exactly what's up.

"Should I get my staff?"

Yasha shrugs. She usually does.

"I'll grab it. Down in five."

Beau considers grabbing some toast too, but she remembers how antsy Yasha seemed and figures she should try to avoid puking in Marion’s yard.

Yasha is stretching when she gets there. The gate swings behind her with a gentle clunk, and she kicks her shoes off, curls her toes in the grass. The sun is barely broken above rooftops and towers, and the first chime of church bells ring out overhead.

Beau yawns a little, but it’s just for flavor. Mind games. She’s not actually sleepy.

“We do not have to—” 

She quickly waves her hand. “It’ll wake me up. You know, get the blood pumping.”

Yasha smiles a little at that. It’s always such a small one, but it’s getting to be familiar.

“I got up early. I couldn’t sleep. Er...sorry.”

Beau doubles her effort to be dismissive. “Don’t apologize to me, Yasha. C’mon. You think I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to?”

This seems to be a winning argument. Yasha nods, like she can’t imagine Beau doing anything she doesn’t want.

Maybe it’s the crisp ocean breeze, maybe it’s the way they circle each other in the yard. Maybe it’s the fresh brush of gauze on her fists.

Beau wants to win.

She dives in, pulls low, uses her quick movement to catch Yasha off-guard and get in as closely as she can. Yasha’s tall, broad, strong as an ox, and even holding back, she could wind Beau with a punch. She presses even closer, limiting Yasha’s motions, sweeps out a leg and cuts up when Yasha moves. The two of them duck and weave and push, neither allowing the other an inch, fists flying, blows being blocked and sweat beginning to pour down their backs. Beau lands a hit that leaves Yasha grunting, then stumbles when a wild haymaker knocks her back. It’s clear that Yasha was never taught any form, just scraped it all together by surviving on the moors and her chaotic movement, high endurance, and reckless confidence just make her deadlier.

Beau tries to close in again, but a lucky kick forces her a pace too far. Her knuckles are bruising in that numb, seething way, and so she darts to the side, grabs her staff, vaults up and then arcs her foot to Yasha’s face—

The dance starts again, this time hardwood hitting forearms and on anyone else, Beau might even feel guilty about it. But Yasha barely seems to register the thwack, her teeth bared in a sideways grin, her eyes hard and excited and alive. Beau’s probably wearing the same expression. She hears herself laughing, and knows that she is. Up-swing, down-swing, slide left, throw a punch, block one, dart back, duck and then—

Yasha’s fist catches her right in the gut, sends Beau lurching flat into the dirt. She chokes her own breath, coughs up dust, barely gets an elbow up with Yasha leaning over her, blotting out the sun, raising Beau’s staff for a finishing strike—

Halts.

It’s like watching a tower fall. Yasha staggers back. She drops the staff. She lifts her hands and stares at her palms and Beau hears a mangled breath. Her knees give. She collapses on herself.

Beau scrambles up, aching limbs forgotten.

“Yasha?” she says. “Yasha? Are you—is—what’s wrong?”

Yasha sucks in more air, but that just seems to make things worse. Her shoulders tremble and her lungs sound ragged.

“Aw, shit,” says Beau, “I mean—fuck—uh—”

She half-runs, half-crawls, ‘til she’s at Yasha’s side. She wants to put her hand on Yasha’s arm, thinks better of it, panics a little more. She wishes she were Jester. She wishes she were Cad. They’d know what to do, they’d be better at this than her, anyone, hell, Marius would be better at this than her—

But it’s her, and everyone’s still in the house, so she shakes her head and stamps the fear down. 

“Yasha, I...aw, fuck, I’m—I’m here, it’s okay, nothing’s wrong—” clearly something is wrong, idiot, “—I mean, um, you’re safe here, okay? It’ll be alright. I’m here, and I’ll stay if that’s what you want, okay? I won’t go anywhere, if you don’t want. Uh...can you shake your head if you want me to go? Is that...possible, can you—”

A frantic shake.

“Oh good, okay, thank fuck, then I’m here. I’m right here, Yash. I’m not going anywhere.” She tries to pitch her voice calm, takes deep, long breaths, and continues to murmur as reassuringly as she can until after...seconds? Minutes? Yasha’s trembling slows. 

There’s a pause. Yasha inhales and lets it go. It’s shaky, but apparently good enough because finally, eventually, she turns and looks back at Beau.

“I’m...okay. I am okay.”

Beau sinks back into the grass. Then she lies down. “Oh, cool. I’m, uh, glad.”

“I’m so—”

She holds up a hand. “Nope. C’mon.” She pats the ground beside her.

“Er...what?”

She pats it again, emphatic. “Lie down. C’mon. I think we’ve earned a break.”

She stares up at the sky while Yasha shifts around, and eventually there’s a gentle thud as she lies down. Seagulls cry in the distance and clouds drift slowly past their heads.

Beau swears, but mentally. A private thing.

“So, uh...do we...want to talk about it, or...?”

Yasha is quiet for a moment. That’s not surprising. Then:

“It...reminded me of when I killed you.”

“What? Oh—” 

“Almost killed you,” Yasha amended. “Both times.”

“Right,” says Beau. “That’s...right.”

She thinks about saying—almost. You only almost killed me, so really it’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about. And you kill people all the time anyway, right?

She blinks. “Wait, you kill people all the time, Yasha. Is it always that bad? Shit, does it always...does it always make you feel like this? Only...I don’t think I’ve ever seen you...break like that...”

She regrets the words immediately. Stupid, Beau, that’s a stupid thing to say. 

But Yasha answers the question earnestly. “It’s usually different,” she says to the sky. “It usually...doesn’t matter. Er...no, not that it doesn’t matter, it just...”

“Doesn’t matter,” Beau sighs. “No, I...sort of get it. Man, that might be fucked up. Of us.”

Yasha shrugs, which rustles the grass. “It’s how it has always been for me. That is just what life is like.”

“I’m sure Jester would disagree.”

“Jester is...nice. I am not. I...have hurt a lot of people. And not just people who were fighting me, or trying to hurt me, but people who were innocent, who did not need not to be hurt, people who care about me, and, and people who I...”

She trails off. Beau can’t see her face, but right now, selfishly, she is glad for it. She feels anger bubbling up in her stomach.

“You were being controlled,” she says fiercely. “You didn’t do it. Someone made you do it.”

“But...part of that...part of it was still me. Since...since you all freed me, I...I remember parts of it. I remember doing it. Those were my hands.” 

Beau can practically hear Yasha’s fist tighten. She definitely feels it when Yasha hits the ground.

“If I was better, or if I was stronger, if I had broken free faster, none of that would have happened, I could have stopped him sooner—”

This time, Beau doesn’t hold back. They’re lying down, so it’s incredibly awkward, but the first thing she can think of is to grab Yasha’s hand.

She sits up, and waves it over Yasha’s face.

“But you didn’t,” she says, then falters, then wants to smack herself. “Fuck, no, that’s not what I mean. What I mean is...” Then she stops. “No, you know what? Fuck it. You didn’t break out faster. And that’s because it was a miracle you managed it in the first place. Yasha, you were being controlled by a devil. You were being controlled by the Chained Oblivion. The fact that you were even a person the first time we met—and you were a person, you were funny, you charged me money to, to, well, you charged me five gold, remember that?”

Yasha blinks. Her wrist is slack in Beau’s grip.

“I...do, yes, I remember that.”

“Right. The fact that you were a person then meant that they couldn’t keep their claws in you. Because you were strong. You were better. Better than everything they tried to make you. You kept breaking free.”

Yasha does not try to squirm away, only stays there.

“But...I needed help every time that I did escape. I never managed it on my own. First it was...it was Kord, and then you all—”

“Of course!” Beau throws her other arm into the air. “Who the fuck could do it on their own?! All that means is that when you had a chance, the second you had a chance, you were outta there. In your heart, you knew what was right. You knew it, and held onto it, even when I’m sure it would’ve been so easy to stay there, to stay in that hell and just go through the motions and lose yourself in...in grief, and loss and...and all that. But you didn’t. And now look at you.”

She cracks a goofy smile, all desperation to make what she’s trying to say heard.

“You’re an angel, Yasha. Remember?”

Yasha slowly sits up too. Her hair cascades down her shoulders, black turning white, with little blades of grass.

Beau is made painfully aware of the fact that she’s still holding Yasha’s hand. She lets go. Then she swears again, and hopes that Yasha doesn’t think it’s because of anything s—

“I am, aren’t I?”

Her gaze shoots up and Yasha's wearing a goofy smile too. Small, a bit nervous, but real and warm.

It’s getting to be familiar.

Beau snorts. She snorts so loud that it might dislodge something in her chest. She hits Yasha gently on the arm.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t, uh, don’t let it go to your head.”

She can see Yasha nodding in the corner of her eye.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Then, after a brief battle over whether or not to bring it up, “I don’t...I don’t...for the record, I’m not mad about you stabbing me. Or whatever.”

Yasha looks stricken, and Beau regrets it instantly. “Shit, should I not have reminded you of—”

“No,” Yasha sighs, and her face softens. “No. I am...glad that you are not mad at me.”

“Should we, like...go to a cleric about this?” Beau asks. “Is this going to be something that happens in, like...fights? Because if it does, it might put you in danger. Also, it’s...it probably sucks for you. Right?”

Fjord would probably have something to say about the way she’s handling this conversation. He’s not here now.

“I...don’t know,” Yasha says eventually. “It hasn’t happened before. It was only...just now. And...just with you. It...hurting you reminded me of being controlled. It...brought me back to all the times that my mind was not my own.”

“I’m sorry,” Beau says, because she’s not sure what else to say.

“No,” says Yasha. Beau looks up, surprised by the weight in her words. “If I am not allowed to be sorry to you, you cannot be sorry to me.”

“Ah,” says Beau. She feels a grin pulling. “In that case...I’m not sorry.”

Yasha nods, like this is sacred, and Beau can’t help but snort again. 

“C’mon,” she says. “We can...work this shit out later. Or start to. With a cleric if you want, or not, if you don’t. But I just got my ass kicked, and I’m thirsty. What do you say to some drinks? I think there’s juice. Do you like juice?”

She stands up, and sticks out a hand. 

Yasha takes it.

“Okay. I like juice.”

— — — 

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