#I REALLY HATE TO SCREAM ABOUT SOMEONE'S ENGAGEMENT WITH A FICTIONAL THING BUT I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS SHIT
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Oh, I did NOT just see someone call a character mentally ill (when there is no evidence of that in canon) just because they’re a bad person.
#I'm sorry I know I complain about this all the time I am just so tired#like. idk I've had to live my whole life with no one around me understanding my fucking illness and people not knowing what#intrusive thoughts actually are and going through the church and now this neo-puritanism fandom trend where apparently thinking something#at all is the same thing as actually doing that thing irl and being unable to have a healthy social life for most of my childhood because#everyone thought I was Irredeemably Weird™ and Too Anxious™ and Too Angry™ and gave me Trauma™ because they thought it was funny to#aggravate my symptoms and don't even get me STARTED on how that dovetailed in with the OTHER STUFF like do you have ANY idea#how hard I had to fight for what little self-esteem and personal peace I've managed to have??? do you KNOW how hard it is to wake up#day after day and use my coping skills over and over again to stop myself from sinking into a pit where I think my Condition™#inherently makes me a horrible unlovable person??? DO YOU HAVE!!! ANY!!!!!! FUCKING!!!!!!!! IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I REALLY HATE TO SCREAM ABOUT SOMEONE'S ENGAGEMENT WITH A FICTIONAL THING BUT I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS SHIT#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way#In the Vents
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actually taking the last bit out of the tags of that post because here is the thing. and I'm going to use specific examples, because I think it's illustrative.
the two groups of people in this fandom who have specifically harassed me have been, as I've said before, imo/dna fans mad I don't find the ship very good, and (to be fair, only on one occasion) shadowido/mauk fans who got mad that I said that tagging ao3 fic about throuples with individual pairs sucks. [hilariously the latter was not even about them at all, it was about me looking for imogen and fearne ship fic that wasn't witchy trio fic and finding it almost impossible to filter].
I do not like these people because they have engaged with harassment. It is not about identity; it is about actions. My closest friend, and the first non-family member I talked to on Wednesday morning, is a bi woman in an open marriage to a woman, with a longterm male partner. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. The last time I visited her, in September, I was joined by other mutual friends, who are similarly in an open marriage with longterm partners and at least one relationship between two women.
I am entirely secure, in my personal life, that I am kind and accepting to queer women (of which I am one) and to poly people (of which I am not), and so I hope you can appreciate that if someone attempts to attack me on the internet on these grounds because I do not have the same exact opinions on pretend people kissing, my response isn't "oh my god I should go off and die because I'm a terrible person," it's "get a load of this moron making wild assumptions about my personal life based on a single data point in my preferences in fiction; I'm going to make them regret doing this to me, and hopefully anyone else, because this is genuinely a detrimental behavior in the fandom space." And also, you know what. If they were a homeless person on the street and asked for a dollar I would still give it to them if their attacks were merely verbal (yes, I know the idea of someone screaming "YOU'RE A LESBOPHOBE FOR HATING IMO/DNA can i have a dollar" outside the grocery store is rather comical, and I think that is how you need to consider statements like "um actually I won't help pro-shippers." Imagine that conversation happening in an irl activist group. Everyone would be like "uh...anyway, how do we fight back against this hostile bench architecture.")
I think right now it is vitally important to remember what actual bigotry looks like and what needs to be fought, and the reason I tapped the sign of this post last night is literally that I think you are wasting time and energy engaging with people who think bigotry is "criticizing the pretend guy Ashton Greymoore for concrete but pretend choices they made" when I also think most people criticizing Ashton would, if Ashton were real, still toss them change if they needed it, or are people who currently donate to or otherwise work with local programs that assist nb people, disabled people, or unhoused children.
I like to argue and I like to engage in fandom and I will continue doing that because it is a source of enjoyment and comfort for me, but I really urge everyone to ask yourself "am I arguing about genuinely different readings, or do I think that everyone who doesn't like my blorbo ship is a bad person" because if it's the latter, I think you need to nip that in the bud of online fandom before it grows into something darker and worse. A lot of irl hate and bigotry starts from a place of "everyone who doesn't agree with me and give me what I want all the time is wrong and evil" and perhaps I am too optimistic, but I think many people who say things like that in fandom just are caught up in the drama of it all and are capable of exercising empathy when they stop treating shipping or interpretation like a popularity contest that, if they lose, indicates that everyone around them is irredeemable. But I also think it can be the start of a really bad path.
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I'm being stalked by someone who screams that I can't stop talking about her despite her having it made it clear she wants "no contact" and then screenshots my blog to spread more lies about me in spite of the fact that I have her blocked and block evading is supposed to be one of my grievous sins
like literally the most I have talked about her recently was with a coded name that doesn't even reference her URL in response to her taking a screenshot of my post and calling me pro-American because memes are hilarious but IRL seriously I would have preferred 9/11 not have happened
I am still not using her URL or her fucking name while she goes around saying VELVET VEXATIONS SHOULD DRINK BLEACH BECAUSE SHE SAID DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T BELIEVE TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN NOW EXCUSE ME I SAW MY LEAST FAVORITE COLOR AND NEED TO COMPOSE A MELINCHOLY POEM TO PROCESS THE GRIEF IT'S CAUSED ME
every time a transradfem equates discussing how transphobes feel about us is the same as misgendering other trans people, that's fucking pathetic assuming it's a genuine belief and not just something to performatively break into tears over as intoxicatingly self-righteous justification for thinking only the people they fetishize should be allowed to exist
but apparently! this person has another stalker who sends her posts to other people! and that's really interesting to me, you know, because the only post of her's I've ever received from an anon was one in which she was talking about me! And when that person came off anon to say it was them that sent it, she took a screenshot of that admission but did not include me telling them off for stirring shit
too bad I decided to delete the admission due them using her name and can't prove I gave them that dressing down, clearly I shouldn't have fucking bothered since innocence itself is no protection
she seriously can't stop calling me a TERF while actual no-bullshit TERFs are openly calling on one another to email publishers trying to get me canceled for writing a fanfic where it's briefly mentioned a trans teenager wore her sister's clothes without asking, what the fuck does any transradfem know about TERFs when I'm dealing with actual TERFs and all they are to them is an abstract concept used to bludgeon trans men and non-binary people with
these fucking people do not experience actual fucking problems, they do not have any conception of what an actual problem is, they sit around lying about the traitorous Queen of Tee Em Eees, puppet of the completely fictional AFAB patriarchy, because they do not have real problems and have never had one in their entire lives, like all fucking people who can't go five seconds without reminding you they're a communist because they think it's cool and trendy and makes them sound smart to say things like dialetic materialist epistemology transubstantiating within the imperial core of the glocal northsouth without actually engaging in any of the actual ideals that make communism laudable and worthy of sincere pursuit
the temptation is to say that transradfems do it because they feel powerless to do anything about actual social issues on any level and lash out at anyone they can feel good taking a swing at, but I don't give a fuck, I'm not willing to give them that they're just misguided, I don't think there's a single atom in the being of even one transradfem that cares about about anything beyond the clout they can extract from it, at best everything they whine about is less than a fourteen year old on Livejournal writing about how unfair it is when their parents won't let them get a tattoo except usually the the fourteen year old would be relaying actual events that actually happened
and I straight up do not fucking believe anyone gets hate mail over interactions I've had with them either, I fucking do not believe those obviously bullshit lies while I still get anons calling me zipperits and trying to trigger dysphoria on the assumption that works on me for saying I think transmascs aren't cis men
in fact, I kinna half-joked about it before, but I think I now just fully believe it one hundred percent was a fucking trans rad fem - probably even this one in particular! - who sent my published work to that TERF the other day, because I haven't had that pinned or brought it up in months and I've never gotten attention from TERFs before this month outside of one or two comments that went nowhere
motherfucking hellsite
fucking internet
fucking stupid motherfuckers
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When looking at games with obvious metafiction elements in their stories, you always see this "deny and condemn the meta" response crop up. In Undertale/DeltaRune I think it's a relatively small scale phenomenon; most people over there are obsessed with the meta, if maybe in a way that's divorced from the text of games, but you still see people determined to wish it away? And it just got me thinking about why that is. What is it about metafiction that makes people so angry they want it gone?
I'm saving my analysis of Nirvana Initiative for the essay, but the backlash there has a lot in common with the response to NDRv3. New Dangan Ronpa v3 is a Dangan Ronpa title about Dangan Ronpa. In typical DR fashion, the meta-commentary is in your face, and at least half the fanbase fucking hates it. There is a loud contingent of DR fans who constantly complain about chapter 6, and how it ruined the entire series by making everything that came before it including the HPA saga unimportant and not real, and they try super hard to negate it, and when they can't, they just criticize the game even harder. That used to be me too! I used to be unbearable back then, but you can find old posts on this blog of me poking holes in it as an in universe plot element/mystery solution, or criticizing its inclusion of a mean-spirited audience depiction that reads like a criticism of the actual DR fanbase, or for wasting my time and telling me I shouldn't care.
But that last one is what I think lies at the heart of it. A lot of the criticisms of the meta for all the titles I mentioned boils down to this: people, or at least gamers, really chafe against metafiction because to them being reminded it's fiction is the same as being told 'it's not real so you should not care. I am wasting your time.' They get really attached to the characters, and the story--they get immersed in the world like it is as real as the PC they play it on, and then they are reminded that it's just a video game, and that hurts. It feels like getting trampled on. I know when I first played v3 I felt the same way.
I understand where this response comes from, but I have since grown up a little. I still believe that the execution of v3's meta needed revision, but the way I used to talk about it, and the way many of its detractors still do, is unearned. Kodaka is not a subtle writer about communicating his thesis. "Even if something is a lie, even if it's fiction.... If it has the power to change the world, then it must contain some kind of truth." It was just a story, with characters in a scripted plot constructed by writers and developers, but you cared about the illusion as though it were real life, right? You got attached to characters, invested in the plot, you cried or laughed or screamed--it spoke to you. "Was this lie able to change something? Was this lie able to change someone? If it was able to change even the smallest thing......Then the story isn't over." Fiction will always matter because it did something, however small, for wonderfully real you. All it evoked, every thought and feeling and comment and criticism, everything that story meant to you lives within your visceral beating heart.
All narratives are a humble wish that you leave changed if only in a tiny way. Metafiction is just a tool. It calls to you, makes you think about the work as fiction, so creators can speak directly to you about art. How do you engage with it? What are you getting when you do so? What is it about art that draws us in time and time again? I love metafiction because I love art. I love all the ways it provokes something in people; I think it's magical beyond compare. That's why I write! Art is a gift from the artist/s to their audience. What does that gift mean to you?
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Since writing for the SW fandom, I've been complimented on how I write emotion. As an English major, I am unfortunately compelled to analyze my process, and after many hours of thinking aloud at my poor mother, I think I've finally cracked the code.
My advice is to Lie.
Set your fucking pants on fire.
You see, emotions in storytelling don't spawn from the reality of what is happening. Emotions spawn from the reader's FEELINGS about what is happening. This may seem obvious at a glance, but so many writers fail to aim for the latter. For example, have you ever watched a character die in a movie and felt nothing whatsoever? Contrast that to a movie where a death did make you feel something, where it made you sob buckets, where it had you grieving long after the credits rolled. I guarantee that the difference between those two reactions did not involve the methods of the deaths themselves, but rather something about the latter movie's death feeling Wrong to you in some way — maybe unfair, or unjust, or untimely, or unexpected. Something about that death, you disagreed with. Something about that death made you feel betrayed.
Fiction operates by different rules than the ones in reality. In real life, we're sad when someone dies simply because they died. In fiction, however, someone dying (aka a bad thing happening) isn't actually sad on its own. That's why beginner writing, even when depicting the most brutal whump, can often bore you to tears. Whether or not you care about the character is irrelevant; what matters is how that character interacts (often unexpectedly) with other narrative elements (i.e. other characters, settings, plotlines, etc). For example, you'll grieve more intensely for a dying character if there is another character screaming in anguish. You'll react more viscerally to a tragedy if you can visualize an alternative plotline where it didn't happen. And this goes for any emotion in fiction. It's not the sad thing or the happy thing or the disgusting thing or the smutty thing; it's the way the thing works within the story to challege the reader's expectations.
In other words, if you're telling the reader what they're already thinking, then you're doing it wrong. And if you're telling the reader what YOU (the writer) are already thinking, then you're doing it worse.
To tell compelling stories, you absolutely have to LIE.
I hate using my fic to explain this mechanic, but (1) I don't feel comfortable using other authors' processes when I run the risk of misrepresenting their thoughts; and (2) I would feel comfortable using a movie example, but I really want this post to be about writing fanfiction specifically. Thus, for lack of a better option (and since this is my own writing process), my fic seems like my best bet. So, putting aside my crippling insecurity for the sake of the Advice lol...
In Every Shadow, you wanna know why y'all are so engaged with Obi-Wan's emotions? It's because I'm lying. I (not the characters, not Obi-Wan, but me, the author) am lying to you (the reader). I'm doing it all of the time.
For example, nobody actually blames Obi-Wan for what happened to the Togrutan colonists on Kadavo. Nobody actually thinks it's his fault Governor Roshti was whipped. Or that he's to blame for the slaves that Keeper Arguss killed. Everyone understands that it's the Zygerrians'/Keeper Arguss's/Miraj's fault.
That's what you already know. That's what I already know.
So I lie about it:
What he did was leave her and her kin to the whims of a sadist. What he did was keep his head down while the other slaves were whipped and beaten and murdered. What he did was bide his time, pray for aid, and lose himself in grief while innocents paid the price for his inaction. What he did was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
This paragraph is compelling not because slaves are being whipped/beaten/murdered and not because Obi-Wan can't do anything about it. It's compelling because we both know it's not Obi-Wan's fault... and yet he is saying it is. Your truth is that Obi-Wan shouldn't blame himself. My truth is that Obi-Wan shouldn't blame himself. Thus, when I lie about it (within his POV), you feel betrayed. In that moment, you don't trust me. You start to wonder if I actually know the truth. Your expectation changes into something else — that maybe I do think Obi-Wan should be blamed.
So I betray you again:
"I’m sorry,” he says. "I’m so, so sorry."
Wheezes of breath whistle through her lips. Her eyes close. "D-Don't be. You were—are—a beacon—of light… but e-even you—cannot shine away—every shadow…"
This time (via an outside source instead of the narrator), I am betraying you with kindness — with the truth. You're relieved, perhaps, but it's still a surprise — and a manipulation. Thus, the feeling of betrayal persists.
In other words, I lied to you so that what I was planning on telling you wouldn't be what you were already thinking. I lied to you so that you wouldn't expect the truth.
I lied to you in order to tell you the truth.
When you practice this device, you'll find there are lots of fun and interesting ways to play. For instance, in the above example, you and I had an identical understanding of the Truth... but it can get even more complicated when the author's version of the truth and the reader's version differ (which is often what I'm doing in Five Peggats Each to make Anakin unreliable as a narrator). Alternating between the reader's truth, the author's truth, and total bullshit is what swings the reader's feelings in any particular direction. If you master this ability, then you'll be able to master your reader's perception of everything. They'll empathize with whatever story you present because their thoughts/opinions/takes will be wrapped around your finger until the very last page.
It's hard for authors to do this because... well... it's lying. If we applied everything I'm describing to something other than storytelling, it would be considered emotional abuse lmao, and luckily most of us seem to understand that emotionally abusing people is a pretty lame thing to do... But you're not doing yourself, your story, or your reader any favors by applying real world morality to the morality of storytelling. Fiction is already a lie by its very nature. By writing, it's already assumed that you're going to deceive.
So, you want to make your readers feel strong emotions? You want to make your readers cry? Laugh? Love? Hate?
Gaslight the shit out of them. Lovebomb them. Groom them. Psychologically abuse them until they're so damaged they keep coming back.
I may sound like I'm kidding, but I very much am not — because fiction is is a genre that is uniquely intended to operate by pathos (persuasion via emotion). Your reader wants to be gaslit and lovebombed and groomed by the narrative. By reading, they are consenting to the emotional abuse of a story. Don't shy away from that trust. Don't feel like every word you write needs to perfectly reflect what people expect or what you believe.
Respect your readers by giving them hell. Respect your readers by Lying to them.
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i don't think people truly care about morality in fiction. people use "morality" as an start drama and discourse and harassment campaigns because they're so bored with their lives they have nothing to do. by using the morality excuse, they shift all blame to the people they're trying to other and not them. because these same people who scream about morality in fiction are also the people who also drawn-up long-ass excuses about why they support a something (totally not financially of course!) made by actual known bigots who spew hateful shit about real groups of people and actively try to harm real life society. they'll whine about how a piece of media is toxic and disgusting, but when presented with a piece of media that isn't so, they find reasons to make it problematic (even something as stupid as an author liking a tweet made by some guy who got cancelled 7 years ago for making shitty mario porn) so that way they feel good about hating it.
nobody cares about having a discussion about morality in fiction and how it reflects or affects or real world. people just want an excuse to be horrible people for the sake of it.
So, I don't think you're wrong, necessarily, in so far as yeah, none of these conversations about morality in media are being had in good faith, because a lot of people don't even know what a good faith conversation about morality in media even looks like.
Spoilers: it's not about "this thing shouldn't exist and we should make it so people do not create things like this, by force if necessary." It's more along the lines of "what kind of commentary and reception will encourage better ethics in media production" and "is there anything worthwhile to discuss about any given work, is the transgresiveness of the morality within meant to say something, or is it really just not that deep, bro."
Notice the distinct lack of "THIS SHOULDN'T EXIST" and "YOUR MEDIA CREATION/CONSUMPTION DEFINES YOUR MORAL CHARACTER" and trying to litigate the concept of "GOOD PERSON." Because all of those are dog whistles for anti-intellectualism and pro-censorship tendencies that are prime to be radicalized into something... well. Radical.
My thing is, genuinely, dipping into the ad hominem is cathartic but not particularly useful. And yeah, accusing them of doing what they're doing out of boredom is, in fact, ad hominem. Because that automatically changes the discussion back to the whole "NO, I AM NOT A BAD PERSON, I AM IN FACT A GOOD PERSON, THEREFORE EVERYTHING I DO IS GOOD BY DEFAULT" track of circular argument that ultimately devolves into thought crime.
It doesn't matter why they're doing it. What they're doing is wrong and harmful, and the way to put a hard stop on it, is to not engage with it. Because engaging on their level, engaging on theorizing about "why" is inadvertently affirming the validity of their viewpoint. It's tacitly acknowledging that if there's a good reason for it, the tactics themselves can be used. I think that's incorrect. The tactics are deplorable, regardless of what objective one argues they're working towards.
I've had conversations about this with a friend, where they educated me on a lot of the nuance about depictions of torture in fiction. And how the concept of "torture bad" is inherently diminished when your fiction also portrays "torture works" unironically right next to it, because it legitimizes torture as a thing that gets results, even though it is scientifically proven that it doesn't. But in the attempt to characterize the bad guys as bad and immoral, many writers use torture as synecdoche, where torture ends up being bad because it's used by the bad guys, not because torture itself is pointless cruelty weaponized stupidly.
And I feel the same way about the playbook of derailment and plain old bad faith engagement with media and morality. It doesn't matter why people are engaging in it, I don't think. Maybe individual cases, when you know someone who's falling into the funnel and you're trying to reach out and try to get them away from that edge. But in general? It doesn't matter. You're causing harm, and from a harm reduction perspective, what matters is figuring out an effective way to stop them.
This is also how I engage with other radicalized, discourse poisoned bigotry champions, like T*RFs. There's nothing inherently valuable in their ideology or their methodology, so the best thing you can do is de-platform it, as aggressively as possible. Because even just spreading it in order to dunk on it is just causing splash damage on people around you. And it might sound dramatic, but given how much of the rhetoric on faux media criticism revolves around horrific abuse being commodified for internet discourse points, and given the fact abuse is generally under reported and abuse victims are often around us, keeping their status to themselves for their own safety... yeah, it is harmful to spread even for the fun snarking.
I'm big on harm reduction. I look at problems and conflicts and I try to go for whichever option, at the time, I believe is going to cause the least harm possible. I also really don't believe in giving power to structures that are known to abuse it, because I belong to quite a few groups that have been historically the first ones to get shat on as soon as those shiny new powers are abused. And they will always be abused. I understand that is a frustrating POV for a lot of people, because I'm always of the naysayers that keeps trying to figure out how rules made in good faith will be abused in bad faith, but I've been on the internet for 25 years and I've done moderation work often enough, both IRL and online, that I consider that to be just basic politics.
Don't give the dude who wants to shiv you a knife, no matter how much he promises he's not going to use it on you.
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Making this post cause idk, I want to talk about my sense of self for a bit but I kinda just need a void to scream into if anything. I’ve tried to convince myself to speak up about it with close friends in the past, had elaborate fantasies about doing so, but sometimes I feel like no one will engage me in my niche issues and if I say anything it’ll just sound like daydreaming bullshit.
But really, I don’t know how to describe myself. What am I? I don’t really know. I’m so many opposites at once. Gender, Sexuality, Age, Personality, everything. Sometimes I start to wonder if I’m really a girl, so many of the things I dislike about myself and how I’ve been forced to present are feminine; and yet many more of what I like about myself is also feminine. I want a deeper voice and lots of body hair and to be tall, but I want long hair and to be soft and I like having boobs.
I’ve had many fictional crushes, two boyfriends and consider myself bisexual currently, but sex makes me feel weird sometimes. I flirt with people jokingly a lot but after my last dating experience Im not looking for a serious relationship anytime soon, but I want to be kissed and I want to be held and I want to be touched and I want someone to pet me on the head and tell me they love me but I also don’t really want to live with someone so I can have my own schedule and comfortable safe space.
I feel like a child sometimes, and too mature in others. I’ve had deep existential conversations on the nature of humanity and talked people older than me out of depressive episodes, but at the same time I feel like I’m floundering for the intelligence and maturity to handle my own emotions and form opinions without the input of others. I like to enjoy things people much younger than me do, but I also hate the feeling of being seen as “not old enough for something” or invalidated because I’m “too young���.
I have conversations with myself and refer to myself in the second person a lot. I feel less like a person, and more like a hollow shell with two people sitting inside me arguing with each other on what I should do when I allow myself space it think. They don’t really have names in my head, but they have appearances to me. One’s a short girl with black hair in a giant ponytail and a comically large paint stained scarf, and the other is a tall guy with light brown hair, tired eyes, and thick zipped up jacket. But often times, like when focusing on something else, they’re gone. And I’m just… me. Confusing mess of a me.
I don’t know what else I’d talk about and this post didn’t really have a point to anyone but me so uhhh thanks for reading if you did??? If you’re someone who’s also on a discord server with me Uhh surprise, I probably considered talking about it with you at some point but didn’t, sorry. Anyways, I need to go get my ass to bed before the sleep deprivation gets worse
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you seem the type to enjoy shit like boku no pico and then scream and cry about how it's fine since it's "not real." fucking pedophile.
Buddy, pal, friend, did you read the FUCKING post?? You know the part where I said content that depicts fictional minors engaging in sex makes my stomach turn but that I don't interact for that reason?
Did you?
Or did you, as many antis do, just nitpick words because you can't understand why people (to quote myself here) have enough braincells to rub together to know that fictional stuff is not nearly as abhorrent as actual CP.
And for your information I've not watched Boku no Pico because I was lucky enough to have older anime fans tell me not to watch it because its fucked up. And wow, isn't that weird?
It's odd isn't it?
That someone can have the stance that fictional media is not as bad as an actual crime and still think it's fucked up?
Also bud just to let you know and I hate to use this card but it's important, I was a tween when people got me to try and watch that show and guess what? That's the issue, that people were going around on the Internet trying to get children or underage teenagers to watch something pornographic, that's the morally wrong action here no matter how disgusted I am with what I've been told the show contains - the attempted INTENTIONAL distribution of known pornographic material to children is the issue here.
But that won't change your opinion on me, since you're too much of a coward to say this off anon I can tell you don't want to engage in an actual conversation.
You just want to feel morally righteous telling someone they must be the scum of the earth. And thats what a pedophile is. Scum of the fucking earth.
But hey whilst on the subject lets look at a definition:
Tell me anon, what part of (and lets refer to the top picture on this post because I'm sure reading comprehension is hard for you so I'll spell it out) "stuff like that isn't for me, I don't like it." And "write something fucked up to see if they can".
Hm, anon, what part of describing that content as fucked up and not for me means that I enjoy it? Or that I have a sexual preference FOR LIVING BREATHING FUCKING CHILDREN YOU IDIOTIC BAFOON.
You cannot simply use "imma refer to a disgusting show and if they know it my point is proven but I'm going to call them a pedophile to really shut them up!" As an excuse to your inability to understand that not everything is black and white.
I don't like that there's child sexual content on AO3 and to reiterate what a previous part of my original post said, it turns my fucking stomach just the thought of it, but I don't interact because guess what pal. It doesn't change a fucking thing what I think.
Just like how all you content Puritans will scream think of the fictional children but won't do fuck all to help real children.
"But what are we supposed to do!?" You all cry if someone points it out to you!
Guess what, you know how you all sit together and decide to mass report fics? You can mass report actual criminals to the police. You can, if you have the ability, help donate to actual charities that help children after those situations and charities that try and prevent those situations.
But you don't actually care about children, in the same way anti-abortonists in the USA and UK don't care about the children.
At the end of the day, you guys just need control and you don't like that you don't have it.
Children are just pawns to you, because if you really cared you wouldn't be out here getting in such a tizzy that you need to call a nobody a pedophile on tumblr because they agreed with you that the content is horrible but that they can understand that if illegal material was actually on a website with all you hundreds of antis the site would be shut down.
And that's the thing isn't it? People HAVE reported Ao3 to the police before but nothings beens done because its not legally counted as CP. Who'd have thunk it.
If you have anything else to say to me anon, get off anon and say it so everyone can see your blog.
Your such a justice warrior aren't you that you have to hide your face.
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It still baffles me that there are full adults with working lives that send hate online to other users because they don’t like the same fictional character or they don’t like the same fictional couple. It’s almost like a mark of maturity rather than just logic if a person just does not engage someone with opposing opinions. Which, to me, is unusual because should it not already be the standard to simply ignore that which enrages/bothers you? (Actually if you’re enraged by fictional characters, you’ve got another issue altogether lol)
I’m in multiple fandoms some of which have children or teenagers. And there’s random strife like any other fandom. However, many of these anon haters are often kids. But in the ACOTAR fandom/universe (the Maas Multiverse, maybe?) most readers are older. And they engage in sending online hate. It’s just unimaginable how telling someone to fuck off or writing 20+ reasons why they’re wrong gives any sense of satisfaction. Is it not more satisfying to cultivate an atmosphere of peace by surrounding your online self with content you ACTUALLY enjoy seeing? This applies to any social media realm honestly. People just be crazy man smh
(This is promoted just by seeing a post you made about blocking in the fandom. And I agree, it’s satisfying to know you’ve made someone so irate that they stalk you even though you’ve blocked them lol)
I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand it, because I do. Not the sending people hate thing, but the obsession with being right and having the last word. Totally get it. I do. Especially when you're in it up to the eyeballs and someone is saying things that are flagrantly untrue, it's really hard to just walk away, especially when things start to get personal. Especially when you have proof that the person is full of shit because screenshots of Discord conversations exist. And ya know. Canon exists too. 😌
But also - why are we here? Just speaking for myself, I'm not in this fandom to get into fights with people. I joined because I really enjoyed ToG, I was waiting for EoS, and I wanted more rowaelin. I wanted fan art, I wanted to read fanfic because the books weren't enough, and I wanted to find people who had the same feelings I did! I wanted people to scream happily with! That's why I joined, and that's why I'm still here. It wasn't like this pre-acosf, and I am just waiting for the next book to be announced because all of this seems oddly more related to being right than actually... liking the thing they supposedly like (although I do lowkey worry that the fandom culture has irrevocably changed.) So once people find out how wrong or right they were, hopefully there will be a huge shift and people will realize that ultimately, SJM is going to do what the fuck she wants to do, and fandom exists for us to do what we want to do.
It’s almost like a mark of maturity rather than just logic if a person just does not engage someone with opposing opinions.
This is an interesting point. It should be logic. It should be just completely normal to back away from things we don't like and move on with our lives, but at this point it is also, to me, a huge sign of how mature someone is.
In no way does it make sense to me to keep consuming media either 1) that I dislike, or 2) in a way that bothers me. That's partly why I dislike anti culture, but it's like that mindset has infiltrated the regular fandom, too.
That's why I said last week that people are slamming their thumbs with hammers and looking up with tears in their eyes trying to get sympathy. You searched those tags, logged out to find those blogs you hate who have you blocked, and went into the toxic communities, bestie. No one made you consume that. You did it. You saw it, maybe unintentionally the first time, but at this point it's been 15 months since acosf came out so I can only assume you're choosing to see it and stare at it, and now you want sympathy? lol, no.
So yeah, what does it mean that people keep repeatedly, intentionally, knowingly engaging with content they hate and then cry about it as a way to gain sympathy and clout? It's neither mature, nor logical.
(This is why I hate vaguing, too. Even if it's about an idea, and not the person who had the idea, maybe either engage with that person directly, or stfu. I make a comment about Elain being kind and then someone makes a post two seconds later about how people who think Elain is kind are idiots? Dumb fucker 🤣 it's so transparent.)
I do love knowing that people I've had blocked for months just can't stop checking my blog, though. Every time I find out it's happened, I get this grin and I start laughing like a Disney villain. It's hilarious. I live in their minds rent free, and meanwhile idek who they are.
#yes agreed#acotar fandom#fandom things#ask#anon#ugh what a mess#being here is so embarrassing sometimes#i blocked the person who vagued me about elain too#and never looked back#sorry this got long#I should have just said#yes I agree!#and hit post
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Accidently Married | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 2 | Be Careful with Clive, I Have Grown Attached to Him
A/N: Tom makes certain comments about an ex (who is unnamed). It is a fictional girlfriend, take from it what you will. Keep your hate to yourself.
SERIES MASTERLIST HERE
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Molly Bishop)
Summary: Tom is stuck in a news cycle from hell; Molly is stuck in the dead end job of bartending with a pile of student and credit debt. Tom has an idea to solve all their problems. Get married, get the paparazzi off his back, divorce after a year and Tom pays off Molly’s debts. Tom has everything figured out, that is until he sees Molly as more than a just a friend and so does someone else. In this vying for affections who will win, the handsome Brit or the boy from Boston?
This Chapter: Tom and Molly are now married. Surprise! These two talk about the logistics of Tom’s half-baked plan. And Molly moves to London to face the firing squad, aka the paparazzi.
Warnings: fake marriage, smut (vaginal sex), mentions of: child abuse/neglect, foster care, substance abuse, cheating.
TAGLIST IS OPEN! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED! THANK YOU FOR READING!
–
After they signed the license along with the apostille, there had been dancing. That much Molly remembered. And drinking. Specifically drinking champagne. Tom danced with abandon, pulling Molly into the whirlwind of activity he created around him.
But now it was morning, and Molly woke up in a bed that wasn’t her own. She groaned as her head pounded, having forgotten that champagne and her have a love-hate relationship. Molly saw the faint outline of Tom asleep on the couch, his long body stretched out, still wearing his suit from last night. After glancing at the alarm clock, Molly fell back asleep.
Several hours, Molly woke up again and headed to the bathroom, not noticing the now opened curtains.
“Hey good lookin, Whatcha got cookin,” Tom’s voice twanged as he stepped out of the shower. His head pounded a bit, but not the worst hangover he had.
“AHHH!!!” Molly screamed as she stepped into the bathroom.
They both froze, which was more embarrassing for Tom, as at least Molly was still wearing her dress from last night.
“You’re naked.” Molly blinked, her head darting around the room until she focused on an interesting corner of the room.
Tom chuckled, grabbing a towel and wrapping it loosely around his waist. “I don’t normally shower in my clothes. You can look back now.”
She slowly turned back around. “Sorry.” She shuffled her feet. “I should have knocked.”
“It’s quite alright.” He moved towards the door. “Shower is yours and we should talk things over.”
Molly nodded. “We should.”
While Molly showered, Tom dressed in the other room. After finding a clean t-shirt for Molly to wear over her dress until she could change, he called the airlines and changed his single ticket for that morning to a later flight for two, fishing Molly’s ID out of her wallet.
“Thanks for the shirt.” she stepped out.
“It looks good on you.” Tom gestured to the sofa. “Sit. Would you like some breakfast?” Her stomach growled. They both laughed. “That would be a yes.” Tom shoved the room service menu. “Order what you like.”
She selected an egg white frittata while Tom got the pancakes. Tom put in the order and returned his attention to Molly.
“So let’s talk about how this will work.” Tom shifted in his seat.
“An excellent idea. You mentioned living together in London. When do we leave?”
“This afternoon.”
Molly coughed. “That quick?”
“I’m afraid so.” Tom’s hands fidgeted in his lap. She noticed he was still wearing the spider ring. “I have work obligations back home and in order for it to be believable you would need to live with me.”
“Naturally.” Molly slapped her thighs. “So after breakfast, I can head back to my apartment, pack up what little I have, say goodbye to my roommate, and change into appropriate clothing. And you need to get us some proper rings.” She waved her hot pink ring in the air. “Unless of course you intend for your bride to wear a ring from the top of a cupcake.”
“Only if I get to keep my ring. I’ve grown quite attached to Clive.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You named the spider?”
“Yes.” There was a knock on the door. “That will be the food. Allow me.” He disappeared and returned shortly with a rolling table, ladened with food. Tom poured a cup of coffee and offered one to Molly.
“I don’t drink coffee.”
“I can have them bring up a teapot.”
“I’m pretty sure there are some complimentary ones in the room. Now,” She cut into her food and took a bite. “how will everything else work? Living with you, your life, the paparazzi? That is the whole point of this charade.”
“You do get down to business. So yes, I would expect you to live in my home. In a separate bedroom, I can set up another room as an office for you. We would need to attend events together and generally appear as a loving couple on the outside.”
“And my debts? That is part of the deal, right?”
“Right,” Tom gazed over at her while eating his pancakes. “I would assume the payments while we are together, and after the divorce is final, I would pay off any balance. I would also take care of your daily expenses while we are married. You are welcome to work if you want, but I will give you spending money.”
“So I would be a trophy wife?” Her brown eyes glinted.
Tom waved his hands in front of him. “Not that is not what I meant… I…”
“I am kidding, Tom. If you prefer, I can not work. I don’t mind. Give me some time to figure things out.” A thought came to her. “What about…” Molly searched for the words. “… other needs? Or if you wish to engage in a romantic relationship?” Her cheeks blushed as the words fell out of her mouth.
Tom blushed as well. “I have great self-control and I think if either of us get to that point, we can discuss it. I don’t want you to feel trapped.”
“And I don’t want you to be trapped either. I guess that is as good of an answer I could expect. Anything you want to ask me?”
Tom stared at Molly. The air hung heavy. “Do you regret saying yes?”
“No. Do you regret asking?”
“No.”
Molly downed the rest of her juice. “Well then, it is all settled. I am going to take off to pack. And you have some shopping to do. My ring size is a 7.”
Tom finished up the last bite of pancakes. “Right. We need to leave here by 3 to make it to the airport.”
“I shouldn’t be more than a few hours. Do you have a key to the room I could borrow?”
Tom fished one out of his discarded jacket’s pocket. “Here I will have the front desk make me another one.”
She tapped the key against her nails. “Thanks, Tom. For the help and for being a decent guy.”
“I should be thanking you.”
“You already have.” She grabbed her purse and headed out the door.
-
Tom headed downstairs, asked the front desk for a new key to the room, and also inquired where the nearest jewelry store might be. The front clerk handed him a key and directed him to a small collection of luxury stores in the hotel. He found Tiffanys and purchased a classic platinum solitaire engagement ring and plain platinum band for Molly and a yellow gold band for himself.
Molly wasn’t back when he returned, so he set about packing up for the flight. His phone buzzed. Luke.
It appears you had a good time in Vegas. The papers say you are drowning your sorrows. Looks like the story is here to stay. Call me when you wake up from your nap at home.
Tom typed back.
I did have a good time. I have a feeling the papers will soon find another story soon. Still in Vegas, taking a later flight. Talk to you soon.
His phone rang. He clicked it off, seeing it was Luke. Rather to get all the yelling done in person. The door opened and Molly came in, dragging a suitcase behind.
“Sorry! My roommate had questions.”
“So does my publicist.”
Tom took in Molly for the first time, really. Outside of the light of a casino floor. And not in a wedding dress purchased for fifty dollars on the way to the chapel. She wore faded jeans, a pair of beat up black Converse and a boxy white tee tucked in. A large black cardigan tucked under her arm. Dark hair in a bun. Quite lovely, if Tom told the truth.
“Are you in some sort of trouble?” Her brows knitted together.
“Not yet.” Tom tucked his phone into his jean pocket. “Here.” He pulled out the little blue bag.
Molly gasped. “I thought you would go buy some costume jewelry. This is too much.”
“Nonsense. This marriage may be fake, but the jewelry will be real.” Tom opened up the boxes. “May I do the honors?”
Molly held out her hand, and Tom slipped off the plastic ring before replacing it with the wedding set. “Much better. And yours?”
Tom slapped the box into her hand. “Be careful with Clive.” Molly pursed her lips as she pulled off the spider ring and replaced it with the gold band, putting the plastic ring in the Tiffanys box. “Here you go. Clive’s new home.”
Tom tucked the box into his luggage. “Ready to go?”
Molly rocked back on her heels. “Yep.”
Tom held out his arm. “Let’s go home, Mrs. Hiddleston.”
-
The flight back was uneventful, Molly and Tom dozed off, leaning against each other for support. Molly woke up first. She stared down at her rings. This was not how she expected this weekend going. Molly thought she would scrap together enough tips to make an extra payment on her credit card. Not flying to London with a Tiffany diamond ring on her finger and a famous actor as her husband.
“Life does throw you curveballs from time to time.”
“What was that, darling?” Tom muttered, stretching in his seat.
“Just commenting on the craziness of all of this to myself.” She held out her hand again. Tom laced his fingers with hers.
“I have done the same thing myself. Now when we land, there will probably be paparazzi around. Are you up for getting this whole thing off and running?”
Molly perked up. “What do I need to do?”
-
Tom tightly gripped Molly’s hand throughout the concourse and baggage claim. They eyed the doors.
“Ready?” she asked, squeezing his hand.
“I promise to be gentle.” Tom squeezed back, smiling.
As they stepped through the doors, Tom flashed a killer smile and Molly did as well, giggling as his arm wrapped around her waist. He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. Molly melted against him, making sure her rings were visible as she cupped his cheek. She was right, Tom was an excellent kisser. After making sure any photographers had plenty of time to snap a pic, they parted.
“Think they got my good side?” Molly giggled.
“Do you have a bad side?” Tom asked.
“Just wait and see. Now take me home, darling!” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically.
“Drama queen.” Tom pinched her side.
-
Tom’s home was cozy and clean. Definitely a bachelor’s home, as evidenced by the empty fridge except for a few bottles of beer and some questionable brown sauce.
“I can go shopping later.” Tom dragged a toe along the kitchen floor.
“I can go shopping later.” She reached up and smacked his face playfully. “What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t feed my husband?”
“Fair point. I will call the bank tomorrow and get a card in your name. Just run any big purchases past me first. And we will need to get your name changed, passport, etc. I can have someone help you.” Tom prattled on.
“Why don’t you show me the rest of the place first?”
Tom held out his arm. “This way.”
Tom’s book collection was impressive along with his collection of movies.
“I clear some space if you need it.”
“I only packed clothes. My roommate is selling the rest, including my car and wiring me the money.”
“Oh.” Tom’s face fell. “Let me show you the bedrooms.”
He showed you a small guest room. “This could be an office for you and next door is a bigger bedroom for you.” Tom hustled along the hallway to open the next door. “Here.”
It was a bigger room with a queen bed and a wardrobe. Spare and clearly used for company.
“It will do just fine. And the bathroom is across the hall which is nice. Where’s your room?”
Tom made his way to the end of the hall and opened the door to his room, decorated in tones of grey and navy. A large king sized bed taking up most of the room along with a dresser. A bathroom en suite and a small closet completed the space.
“Very nice. Do you mind if I steal the color palette to decorate my room?”
“Please do. I never got around to decorate it. My sisters and mother are the only ones who stay in there.”
Molly paled a bit. She hadn’t thought about Tom’s family. “I supposed I will meet them soon.”
“I supposed so. It would be odd for my wife not to meet them. I hadn’t thought about it.”
Molly rocked back and forth. “Now why don’t I go shopping and you unpack and relax?”
“I would feel better if I came with you. You are in a different country, a strange city. And what if you have problems with the card?”
“Then let’s go and you can point out some of your favorite foods.”
“It’s a deal.”
-
“When I said pick out your favorite foods, I didn’t expect it to be only sweets. Did I marry a seven-year-old?”
“I’m 35, thank you. and I enjoy those sweets.”
“You eat like a college frat boy.”
“Guilty.”
“That is definitely changing now that I am around. You can’t continue to eat like that. There are things called vegetables.”
Tom snapped his fingers. “I’ve heard of those.”
“Get out of here!” Molly swatted at him. “I am certain you have things to attend to, and I need to familiarize myself with the kitchen.”
“Are you kicking me out of my kitchen?”
“Our kitchen. And yes.” Molly smirked.
“I yield! I yield. I’ll be in my study if you need me.” Tom walked out of the kitchen and towards his study.
He spied his phone sitting on the desk, still off from the flight. By now, any pictures should have been posted somewhere. Tom collapsed into his desk chair and clicked the phone on. While he waited for it to start up, he could overhear Molly puttering about in the kitchen, muttering to herself as she put away the groceries.
Buzz. Ten messages and eleven missed calls. He didn’t bother to listen to them and instead dialed Luke.
“Luke, I’m back in town. Thought I wou—” Tom started in as soon as Luke picked up.
“I WASN’T FUCKING SERIOUS WHEN I SAID TO GET MARRIED??! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!”
Tom pulled the phone away from his ear. “No, I haven’t. But I am married. To a wonderful girl. Her name is Molly. Molly Bishop. You should meet her, Luke.”
“YOU ARE FUCKING RIGHT I’LL MEET HER. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! SHE CAN HELP IDENTIFY YOUR BODY, THOMAS!” Luke continued to scream on the phone.
“Can you dial back the volume, Luke? I would like to preserve my hearing. Is there something wrong with marrying the woman I love?”
Luke cleared his throat. Tom understood Luke was doing his best to collect himself. “Apologies. There is nothing wrong with marrying the woman you love, Tom. Nothing at all. Except I don’t think you love this woman, since until a few weeks ago you were in love with—”
“Don’t say her name, it will ruin my marital bliss. I’m a hopeless romantic, Luke.”
“Hopeless, yes. Romantic, the jury is still out. And your fans don’t count, they are blinded by you. But I see the truth.”
“Which is?”
“You are not as smart as you think you are.”
“Did any of the articles mention her?” Tom inquired, spinning his wedding band on his finger.
“No.”
“Then I am exactly as smart as I think I am.”
There was a clatter from the kitchen.
“Tom!” Molly called out. “I need your help.”
“Got to go, Luke. My wife needs my help.” Tom emphasized the word “wife.”
“This isn’t over, Tom.”
“It never is. Bye.”
More clattering and another cry. “Tom!”
Tom rushed into the kitchen to find Molly perched on top of the kitchen counter, reaching high into a cabinet.
“Why is everything so high in here?”
Tom chuckled and reached around her, pressing his torso against her back. Molly jumped for a moment at the touch.
“I’m not used to sharing my space. I’m six two, I put things where I can reach them. What are you grabbing?”
“The roasting pan.”
Tom pulled it down and placed it on the counter. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it.
“Thank you. Well, I am five six, so unless you want me climbing counters for the next year, we need to rearrange some things.”
“But you’re so cute climbing around like a little monkey.”
Molly frowned. “Is that supposed to be a compliment? If so, then try again.”
Tom opened his mouth and closed it. “I’ll pull things down after dinner.”
“Thank you.” She rubbed his arm. “Now to try my hand at a roast dinner. Did you get stuff done?”
His phone buzzed again.
“I called my publicist. The pictures posted.” Tom pulled out his phone to shut it off.
“Oh good. So I take it, I had the desired effect.” Molly crunched on a carrot and offered one to Tom, who wrinkled his nose.
The two of you. My office 8 a.m. tomorrow. No excuses. I want to meet the blushing bride.
Tom frowned at the screen.
“It would appear so. I suggest you go to bed early because you are meeting Luke, my publicist tomorrow.”
Molly’s mouth fell open. “Should I be worried?”
Tom smiled at her. “No, I should be.”
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston imagine#tom hiddleston fluff#tom hiddleston x ofc#tom hiddleston angst#tom hiddleston smut#accidently married
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Zagr for the ship ask 😤😤😤 every single one bitch
I cannot believe you have bombarded me like this. Appalled. Insulted. Astounded.
Please enjoy my entire analysis of my fictional totally canonical ship.
PRE-RELATIONSHIP
1. How did they first meet?
Dib, but also school.
2. What was their first impression of each other?
I think they're both initially incredibly dismissive of one another. Zim thinks the entire fate of the Armada's reputation lying on his shoulders, and Gaz really has too many personal problems even as a kid to deal with; neglectful Dad, overprotective, stupid brother, etc.
3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?
Okay so hear me out; I think Skoodge and Professor Membrane would be so obnoxious in the best way. And Gir, whenever his attention span lets him remember long enough to scream about it. But I think Membrane would be chipper about Gaz finding someone, even long before she admits she's even interested, and Skoodge would want Zim to be happy and is unconditionally supportive, especially when Zim is mopey whenever his advances are rebuffed.
4. Who felt romantic feelings first?
Honestly, I love a Zim simp, but I genuinely think it'd be Gaz. Zim is obviously a Defect capable of feeling a larger range of emotions than other Irkens, but he still didn't receive socialization that makes 'romantic rituals' in any way natural to him. So I think Gaz and him would buddy up platonically and casually, initially, until she realizes she likes his company a little too much and freaks out about it.
5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?
Gaz does, 100%, and she's way more stubborn about it then Zim. I think Zim's denial is just that he doesn't "get" romance (see above) and what's going on with him, but once he understands he's fully down to bombard Gaz with affection, flirtations, and other over-the-top simp behavior until she stops pretending she's not gritting her teeth while fighting a blush.
6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
Zim doesn't know what a soul is, but he does begin to understand the concept that they can be taken from human's in bargains. He becomes distracted by the topic. Bringing it up again later would have him largely dismissive.
Gaz would roll her eyes, and be extremely bitter about the idea that there is anyone 'made' for her. She's very independent, and I think someone with the sort of familial issues she does with no role model for a 'happy' family would be really resistant to being bound to someone in a way that would entitle them to her vulnerabilities. She'd be extremely resentful, dismissive, and irritable.
7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?
Really unfulfilled, listless. Without that companionship, they would never develop into people capable of meaningful relationships. I think both of them are very independent. Zim may claim he likes an audience, but there's an undeniable anxiety that he gets when faced with judgement. If it's anything but unwaveringly positive, he becomes delusional and creates a fantasy world in which everyone loves him, and the situation was just an initial misinterpretation. Gaz would have good friends, I think, but accepting Zim and his oddities and realizing she genuinely relates to someone who knows everything about her (via her brother + proximity + time) and is still here would mean a lot to her development.
GENERAL
1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?
Zim, without a doubt. Gaz may like Zim first, but she's completely in denial about it and completely stubborn. Zim is oblivious, and also a big ass simp, so his persistence and patience eventually gets Gaz to let her guard down and accept that she has hormones, she has romantic inclinations, and apparently they've both decided Zim is it. Time to be a big girl and accept it.
2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?
Honestly, I don't think they're the 'date' type of couple. I am probably 100% projecting since my boyfriend and I did not have an official 'date' until like 6 months into our first relationship, where we paused, turned to each other and were like 'wait is this our first date?' because we're homebodies whose idea of fun is projects. I think Zim and Gaz would hang out regularly, but it wouldn't ever be like a formal 'we are going to Bloaty's/the movies/etc as a date,' but rather 'I am going here and you are coming with me so I guess we are going together' thing. Zim doesn't get the point of a date, because if a date is by definition doing an activity together, then aren't they perpetually on a date? And Gaz isn't really a 'let's go to dinner formally' kind of person. They hang out, they go places, but it's never really a 'thing.'
3. What was their first kiss like?
I firmly believes Gaz would have to walk Zim through every aspect of physical affectionate. Zim is really wary about it, but I do think there's an instinct towards good ol' copulation, as well as a longing for positive touch after so long getting his ass whooped in the Academy, that would make him frustrated trying to figure out what this desire is. I think their first kiss is Gaz explaining to Zim, after he asks her outright what else there is after tame stuff like cuddling and hand holding, and Gaz walks him through the concept, implications, and so on until he feels ready to bravely and firmly try it.
While that does sound pretty clinical, I think actually it'd be really emotional for both of them. Zim would be really overwhelmed by how much passion is in a kiss, and Gaz would be similarly overwhelmed since, going into the relationship, she probably never anticipated Zim being interested in anything sexual, so any physical affection he expresses interest in is a surprise to her.
4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?
I think Gaz probably would try out a few brief relationships, but never anything substantial or dramatic. Zim's never been in a relationship, so Gaz is his first everything. I do think they'd be each other's first sexual relationship, but I think Gaz would have most of her more minimal firsts with other people prior to Zim.
5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?
Zim older. I normally write Zim as the same height as Gaz, or only a little taller. Neither of them are tall. I do respect you 'short king' stans though.
6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?
Dib hates Zim, firmly and completely, at the beginning of their relationship. It takes a lot of self-reflection, meaningful sibling discussions, and probably a few screaming matches that eventually get to the real root of the issue (Dib's ingrained fear that something would happen to Gaz, and that it'd his fault) before he came around. Zim is a big petty bitch and would gleefully antagonize him. They would never stop sniping at each other, but they'd begrudgingly (sort of) behave for Gaz. They would eventually become frenemies and bros, but they'd die and also kill each other before admitting any sort of cordiality.
Professor Membrane adores Zim, and treats him like the son he never had/always wanted, the one who wants to have long discussions about science and can keep up with the theoreticals. Gaz hates it.
The Base and Gaz are cool. They have an understanding borne from two sentient creatures who have found themselves in the position of trying to keep Zim from killing himself, killing other people, or from coming to (too much) harm. Gaz initially hates Gir, but eventually she figures out how to get him to chill out when it's important. Minimoose and her are also cool, but he creeps Gaz out a little.
7. Who takes the lead in social situations?
Zim thinks he does, but it's really just Gaz slapping her hand over his mouth before he can say something stupid, or translating whatever nonsense just came out of his mouth when he's done talking.
8. Who gets jealous easier?
Zim. Not even a question.
9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?
Zim. Also not even a question.
LOVE
1. Who said “I love you” first?
Gaz. Zim doesn't know what it means until she explains it. It takes him awhile to internalize it and reciprocate verbally, but Gaz is okay with that. He shows her how much he cares in other ways.
2. What are their primary love languages?
Without a doubt, Zim's is touch. Once he gets used to it, he's really greedy and possessive about proximity. Just having Gaz bump his arm is sometimes enough to set the worst of his nerves at ease.
Gaz's is acts of service. She's fine with Zim being physically clingy, but it means a lot to her how unflinching he is about protecting her, anticipating her needs, and remembering things.
3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?
Zim. Gaz hates them, but she tolerates it. Sometimes.
4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?
Cuddling is very frequent. Zim will just sort of shift in behind Gaz if she's playing a game and cling, and she'll just keep doing what she's doing until she's eventually done and reciprocates. Explicit PDA never happens, but Zim is very clingy and physically will plant himself between Gaz and people who he's distrustful towards.
5. Who initiates kisses?
Gaz. I think Zim would cling to her like a barnacle at every opportunity, but Zim would likely usually defer to Gaz for escalating intimacy.
6. Who’s the big and little spoon?
Zim big spoon. PAK too uncomfortable to let him be the little spoon.
7. What are their favorite things to do together?
I think just being around each other while they do projects, game, etc. would be their favorite thing to do. Sharing in hobbies without feeling pressured to be entertaining, but still feeling like their presence is valued and wanted by the other.
8. Who’s better at comforting the other?
Being a people, and having more emotional competency, Gaz is better. Zim does his best though.
9. Who’s more protective?
Zim, if we're talking about quantity. Gaz, however, if we're talking about quality. Zim screams at chihuahuas for looking at Gaz, and also does protect her from genuine threats, but he overreacts frequently. Gaz, however, would know when Zim's out of his depth and would break the spine of anything that's a threat to him.
10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?
Physical, for both. Neither of them is really used to verbal affection, whether it be giving or receiving. It's a lot more natural to be demonstrative.
11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?
Me, cackling as I copy and paste this link that I imagine is from their mutual perspectives:
https://open.spotify.com/track/4nlT0Ch4qpqoS8O1RsdzjH?si=d6d8e1e19a7d4dc7
12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?
There's lots, and I'm sure most of them are inside jokes, but the tops are Zimmothy + Little Gaz.
13. Who remembers the little things?
It's hard to say. Zim would retain an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Gaz, and tries to spoil her and accommodate her at every opportunity, but Gaz never forgets to pack an extra umbrella and a raincoat.
DOMESTIC LIFE
1. If they get married, who proposes?
Zim.
2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?
No one but their mutual 'families.' A very small, intimate ceremony. The reception though is massive, courtesy of Professor Membrane who has no idea how to separate his personal life with his public one.
3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?
0 kiddos. Cannot product viable, compatible DNA to produce a spawn.
4. Do they have any pets?
Does Gir count?
5. Who’s the stricter parent?
If Gir is the child, Zim. Gaz will let him get away with murder, both because she can't be bothered to control him, and also because she thinks it's funny how mad Zim gets when she lets him go wild.
6. Who worries the most?
Between Gaz "apathetic is my middle name" Membrane and Invader "I have perpetual anxiety" Zim? No idea.
7. Who kills the bugs in the house?
Gir. He eats them long before anyone can find them. But both Gaz and Zim will point out any he misses.
8. How do they celebrate holidays?
Zim fucking hates Christmas, so him and Membrane get down in a bunker for it while Dib and Gaz spend some sibling time somewhere, drinking cocoa and video chatting with the respective morons. Other holidays, they basically go wherever Professor Membrane is in the world with Dib to have a 'family' holiday.
9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?
Zim doesn't sleep, but he likes the resting and the peacefulness of getting to curl around Gaz in her sleep without her leaving. So him by default.
10. Who’s the better cook?
Zim has a 'kiss the chef' apron and everything.
11. Who likes to dance?
Neither of them, but Zim does 'victory dances' compulsively.
#ZAGR#Invader Zim#asks#anaylsis#ship post#hella long#RavenFollower13#fanfiction#Gaz#Zim#amyisherenowansweringyou
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♫FrUk :D
Thank you for the ask, I will send a few songs that remind me of fruk, a whole playlist if you may, not only one song. I also touch a few of triggering topics as I explain the nations's personalities and relationships with one another so I apologize in advance if I upset/trigger someone and will put my trigger here - Warning - mentions of abuse, alcoholism, s*exual trauma. Under the explanation there is a playlist of songs that make me think of Ukfr/Fruk, so if anyone gets upset you can feel free to skip my general headcanons about fruk/ukfr relationship dynamics. There are too many songs that make me think of different characters or ships but I collected the ones that make me think the most of them.
I know the original song is by Lady gaga but this version is too sweet and cheesy for me so I chose the rock cover by the group Halestorm since I prefer it, it sounds more genuine and rough and kinda makes me think of the dynamic that ukfr/fruk has, that some people present is as just the enemies to lovers trope or them just fighting which is.....simply unhealthy????? Fruk is much more than that and I wish people would stop seeing it as a two dimensional thing, yeah they do argue on a lot of things and it is not the healthiest dynamic however it does work in my mind because they stick through thin and thick and that requires effort and true love since a lot of people nowdays do not take time to know the other person, they just jump into marriage and have a few divorces and just argue over everything and then separate, fruk is an off and on thing where they break and make. This kind of dedication is hard to find in today's couples. I know they're fictional characters and no one really cares but I practice my psychology skills and my knowledge of people around me, and I sometimes see people with similar or almost the same characters as fictional characters, they may not have all of their hobbies but they do act the same way. And certain pairs, no offence, just make me want to gag my self due to history with bad and toxic fans but if I look at it subjectivly and never encountered mean fans from a certain ship, I would say that they ship simply doesn't work. No ship bashing but as far as I know, people with this kind of personality from this ship that I dislike, and get upset when seeing fan art of, simply just do not get along and had a hard time divorcing, it is not only unhealthy and unbalanced, it is downright abusive because both partners seek control and to have the upper hand and this is not...what romance is about???? It is about two people taking care of each other, understanding personal space and boundaries, lifting each other up and yeah, they will argue a lot, sometimes for small things, sometimes for bigger things, but generally the point of romantic relationships is not someone using you, or abusing you financially and generally being better or bigger than you. This breeds insecurity and jealousy in the other partner and makes them feel inadequate. Usually such problems are not talked over and one of the partners acts passive agressive which is what ultimaltly leads to said divorce. So yeah, people can go away with their (BUT IT IS CUTE, IT IS SO FUCKING CUTE) pairing because real life pairings and how humans communicate and develop friendships and relationships isn't based on what your mind conciders and doesn't concider cute and there are lots of factors on whether relationship will ever happen like common interests, type personality, etc and just block me so I will never hear from them and their childish mindset ever again, which is why I blocked certain tumbrl fan art hetalia accounts who produce art of a pairing I (dislike) lowkey hate, for historical reasons, for manga reasons, for toxic fans who bullied me and made me go on 3 hiatuses reason and ultimatly in real life experience and psychology and how humans and the human mind works and what is healthy and unhealthy reason. Why should I support something where certain people have been hateful towards me and these same people that act like these characters and I know in my life are on bad terms in real life? Why shouldn't I just move on to something more realistic and more healthy, that I have seen that works with humans I know first hand? I am not a clinical psychologist and I have no power or saying in this but I had to write thesis and read books by psycholgists and analyze them in high school and my first year of Uni, in order to pass the year and I have also read reccomended books by a psychologist I went to because I wanted an advice on how to deal with my anxiety and talking to people, because my condition is extremely severe but I honestly feel stuck and try to improve but also feel confused, I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough to
self improve as a human. I sometimes come off as too cold or overly bitter and angry without intending to, and it sucks.
Francis is a really manipulative person and Matthew picked up that from him while part of Alfred's agression doesn't only come from confidence in his own abilities but the fact that England him self is an overly agressive person and is very dominant or at least used to be for a very long time, now he is more mild to keep his gentleman persona but he does suffer from severe anger issues which he hides while Alfred is prone to breaking things and screaming, Arthur is more prone to being rude, sarcastic and generally mean before he loses it. Matthew and Francis do not engage in fight if they can avoid it which is why sometimes people call them cowardly I think? And Matthew is a bit prone to being a codependent people pleaser as far as I see and he seems to have severe anxiety issues. Francis albeit charismatic and beautiful, is deep down in his core lonely.
I think that part of his pervertedness, shocking people with his s*xual humour and all of this sex obsession comes from trauma in his childhood and dressing like a girl. I wouldn't explain what the trauma in question was since it is not canon but I do headcanon that he had s*xual trauma and it is partly why Hungary dressed like a guy. I don't know if this is legit, it is bias from reading too much japanese fan comics relating to hetalia or just general history of humans and how they treated consent and what is moral today, wasn't amoral or against the law a few centuries ago, but I have seen artists touch on it. I think both Arthur and Francis suffer from neglect and they weren't particularly good fathers, in fact no country is, the whole FACE family is dysfunctional and while I love all of them, I kinda pity them. I think Rome was a bit discriminatory mostly towards France and never towards his other children while Arthur had to constantly prove him self and was bullied by his brothers. While other nations have suffered from trauma too (I headcanon that Prussia was burnt on stake and people threw rocks at him due to his albinism and being left handed) something similar happened to Arthur, who I headcanon that he was burnt for being a witch and Francis went a few times through the guillotine, or Arthur still having a bullet scar on his arm from the American revolution or Francis having nightmares from that day where Jeanne was burnt and waking up in his own sweat. Arthur also must suffer from workholism and alcoholism, judging by how much he works and goes to pubs to drink. Everyone chooses their own poison and how to cope with life and many use unhealthy coping mechanisms, hell, even I used unhealthy coping mechanisms a lot in the past and I am not proud of them, in fact, I try to improve.
I can talk about their history and how it relates to their mental health and what scars they have for hours but I would bore you. You came for a song and I am probably boring you so I apologize for writting a lot of words, in advance. I basically think that fruk/ukfr is the ultimate ship for many reasons because they click, I do ship spuk/engita/asakiku and many other things but fruk/ukfr is kinda like butter and bread, it is a great combination. I never said it is 100 percent healthy, however their relationship makes psychological sense and their personalities click. I know people like to present arthur as this dumb tsundere man that blushes and says baka, or he is this garbage rat dad that no one likes or francis is presented or at least used to be this perverted sex machine that touched other countries inappropriatly or at least the 2012-2015 fans saw him this way and while he still has the reputation of a pervert, what many young people in the fandom see as disgusting, I just see as an overly lonely man that just happens to have high libido and copes with it by having casual sex and just has a sex humour, the same way some people have fart jokes humour or darker, more cursed humour, I am really glad that fans mostly left off this whole - Francis is a r**ist and will grope you, in the past, because honestly r**e is not joke and as a character he clearly understands consent and boundaries and I don't think someone like him would do such a thing. Also Greece and Turkey have even higher libido than him and sleep around more, yet he is the ''pervert'', I don't get it??????????? but fruk is just so much more than opposites attract, they have a lot in common so I can't say they're full opposites, no one is truly. I have heard people ask why does anyone ship fruk when it is just opposites attract/enemies to lovers trope and I am honestly confused, because that is extremely rough generalization to say the least, it is like saying - All men/women are the same, it is simply wrong/uncorrect. I think they ''married'' five times - The Treaty of Paris (1657) formed an alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French Alliance (1716–31) formed another alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French blockade of the Río de la Plata (1845-1850). The Anglo-French joint invasion of Qing Dynasty (1856–1860). And the last one which is their official marriage The Entente Cordiale (1904) fought together in both World Wars. As far as I remember Francis tried to marry Arthur but he refused and why he refused is up for subjective opinion but I must write a whole thesis on why Fruk/ukfr works so well and people are not here for that, they're here for the music and I will provide. I also always saw Francis as the more gentle and more submissive partner, I just love to see him drawn in frilly beautiful dresses with bows and stuff and Arthur as the more dominant, I mean as a country he was a powerhouse during the 1600s-1800s and used to be a punkrocker, usually rockers are mentally tough and that man is extremely cunning and witty so...people drawing him as this useless baka uwu overly feminine anorexic boy that looks more like a tween rather than a 23 year old guy just assasinated his character in my opinion and it disturbs me but I am just some awkward human on the internet and no one values my opinion anyway because this is the internet and many people nowdays love to have hot takes and try to gain followers through clickbait stuff which sometimes goes out of control and everything just seems more fake and shallow to me, the more old I get.Okay that was my silly rant no one asked about but I feel really passionate about hetalia and Fruk/Ukfr. Anyway, I apologize again for my long rant and going all over the place, please enjoy this playlist
PLAYLIST WITH SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF FRUK/UKFR
1 - Halestorm - Bad romance - rock cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4NJs3NBIU
2 - Queen - Somebody to love - lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj69iA_goIk
3 - ABBA - Voulez vous - (I know everyone chooses Waterloo and while waterloo is a fruk theme, I think Voulez vous works too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwcgMVXuBJc
4 - London beat - I've been thinking about you - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixBryyQSrD8
5 - Santana - Smooth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc
6 - George Michael - Careless whisper - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ
7 - Robbie Williams - Feel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk
8 - Michael Buble - Feeling good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI
9 - Edith Piaf - La vie en rose - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzViYkZAz4
10 - Chopin - Marriage d'amour (Spring waltz) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJ7kDva7JE
11 - Vanessa Carlton - A thousand miles - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERw2LuU6Jj8
#fruk#ukfr#hetalia fruk#playlist#reminds me of fruk#hetalia axis powers#hetalia world stars#trigger#trigger warning#mentions of abuse#rant#vent#fiore rosewood vents#axis powers hetalia#hetalia headcanons#personal headcanon#fiore rosewood headcanons#hetalia world twinkle#aph hetalia#hetalia 2021#hws#aph#personal problems#psychology#fans#social anxiety#A lot of thoughts#head not empty#overthinking#ranting
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One thousand words a day is too much!
How many times do you have to tell a story before it consumes you and becomes redemption? 1001.
There’s nothing funnier than being told the twentieth “only right way to do something.” Particularly when the only difference is a step there or shifting your weight here. It teaches you things about the world you never had to think about in school, where there really was only one right answer. Supposedly. At least, you could count on there being only one right way to advance. Even the more open-ended arts and literature gave way to easily-graded grammar, symbolism, setting, spelling.
At the same time, there’s nothing worse than someone who is always responsible for when the right thing happens and never responsible for when the wrong thing happens. Even if it’s subjective who’s right or wrong, a three year old can spot that pattern.
When I was eight, I caught a basketball wrong and broke my finger. When I went into the living room of my grandparents’ house to show my parents, my mom asked my dad to set it back in place. I didn’t trust him to do it in a way that wouldn’t hurt, so in my arrogance I set it back myself. So my pinky finger will always be a little bent. Maybe I should wax poetic about how I’d rather hurt myself than trust someone else and get hurt. Or maybe I was a dumb eight year old who knew it would hurt either way, but would rather risk doing it wrong than have an adult do it. I’m almost twenty-five and I still don’t trust the notion of “adults.” “Adults” are awful people.
In middle school, my friend R- and I talked about keeping our middle names secret so that we couldn’t be True Name’d or impersonated. We shared our middle names readily. We worried about our parents, who already knew our middle names. It wasn’t a very good secret.
I would get frustrated with myself in middle school for not having the drive to finish knitting a simple scarf. I made a few bookmarks and coasters. I never considered that maybe the problem was that knitting was boring. These days, I have no issue finishing scarves, so long as the knitting is accompanied by a particularly long and dry class.
I used to plan conversations, sentence by sentence, before I had them. It avoids any freezing-up you might do on the phone, and helps you make it through the conversation. Nowadays, I still hold useless conversations in my head and in my dreams, but I no longer need them. The army’s made me almost too brash.
I hated creative writing lessons in middle school because the teachers always wanted you to write about real life. Nothing was less interesting or more stale and putrid than my life. I think I made up what happened and exaggerated for the assignment. I still dislike that I had to do it, since it bothers me to no end when my mother lies for the sake of a good story. I never had any issue writing or reading fiction, when people knew it was escapism.
I forget the names of second cousins and neglect to ask the names of people I sit across from at lunch for months. I don’t call anyone, and my facebook messages to my sisters are more to show my own excitement for whatever video game or image I’ve found engaging or funny. I dread getting calls, but I don’t despise calls from my Grandma Z- like my mother claims to. I don’t know if she does anymore, my mom isn’t the same person who raised me anymore. That’s a good thing.
I want to connect to people, to scream when I’m mad, to cry when I’m sad, and to spread my joy to those I care about. But I don’t like dealing with problems or obligations that arise from relationships, and I prefer that everything fades away and that I am forgotten. People wouldn’t like “me,” But “I” have a very judgy and spiteful personality. I know better than to sling barbs at others, so I hold my tongue and bury myself ever deeper. Till we’re nothing but pins in a sewing tomato of needles.
They say that Terry Pratchet wrote 400 words a day! Less than what most writing blogs and advice says (1k words, 1.6k if you’re on nanowrimo), but I bet that Pratchett was more prolific than all of them combined! Writing’s a marathon, not a sprint. So that’s why I’m following his sage wisdom, and writing 400 words a month. Absolutely nothing to do with my own lack of discipline, self-imposed sleep deprivation, or general flakiness.
Maybe it’s a problem when things that bring you joy turn into products. There’s a number attached to everything on the internet these days, and I scrutinize even what little heuristics I can squeeze from my AO3 fics. I used to delete unfinished fics all the time, back in middle school, since I only managed a chapter or two and then got bored and moved on. I shamed myself. I’m better now- I no longer delete fics, since I no longer risk writing anything that long and publishing it. My record word count on any work is 18k, and that one was encyclopedic in nature. Pretty much useless, too, but at least the journey was fun.
It’s far easier to spend money on fancy writing books and fancier typewriters than it is to actually write. That’s why I love my AlphaSmart 3000! It was cheap, so it doesn’t hurt as much that I don’t write on it often! (Plus, I bet it’d survive a nuclear fallout)
I gotta be careful not to send to computer too often, though. Then I start psychoanalyzing the word count, pitifully smaller than all my estimates. Writing may be one task where you want to train to time, not to task. But that’s just the pessimism and lack of ambition speaking! Battery life’s pretty Gucci tho…
The strangest thing of all is that the stories I want to read aren’t the ones I enjoy writing, when everything’s said and done. I love the prep, I love the planning, but actually sitting down and going for it after all that work? That’s a no-go. And seat-of-the-pants writing for me leads to incoherent-to-semicoherent blobs of nothing. Word count ain’t anything. So if I like twists, and mysteries, and all sorts of odds and ends, should I break all conventional wisdom and seek to surprise myself with the ending? Should I produce a murder victim with no murderer? I still think the goose was behind everything in Hot Fuzz, so maybe everything’s reasonable if you do it with style.
I like weighty stories, too, but I loathe to write my own weight.
The best fancy writing book out there is Elements of Style, no shot. Stephen King’s “On Writing” is the worst since 12 year old me was irritated that there was no writing advice, and 12 year old me skipped the intro where he talked about how the book wasn’t really about how to write. Intros and prologues annoyed me, since I read a lot of pulp fantasy with useless introductions. Eragon got me into the habit of skimming large blocks of text (My apologies to Paolini), so when I read denser stuff I would miss things and have to go back and reread, lest I frustrate myself with the text. Back then, useless introductions and unimportant blocks of text were just things that books had, they weren’t the subject of critique or judgement. So I wonder why I treat my own works with a judgement I never extend to others? It’s all or nothing with me. Either a sentence is perfect, or the entire passage is barely decipherable but free of spelling errors.
Did you know that you could do warm-ups for writing? Just write nonsense, and then when you run out of nonsense the rest of what you write that day will be fine. I don’t know a better way to hit daily wordcount goals and still feel like you’re doing something meaningful.
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Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?
This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.
How dare!
I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]
Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?
So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.
Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...
So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”
Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.
Darling, tell me how you really feel...
Some questions I have:
· IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)
· Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?
· IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?
· DOES Gaby have a German accent?
· Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?
Sorry, wrong iteration.
· If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?
· How old was Gaby during the war?
· What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)
Hooray for:
· That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!
· Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.
· That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!
· Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.
· Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.
See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.
· Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)
Things I adore:
· It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]
· Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.
Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!
· Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion
· Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”
· You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.
o I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.
· “He fixed the glitch.”
· Again, shout-out to the non-action action.
· “I left my jacket in there.”
· The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.
Someone says “winkle” out.
· Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.
Things that get a great, big NOPE:
· Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.
· That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)
· Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.
· This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.
Over par? Unacceptable!
· Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?
Other commentary:
· Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.
· Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.
· Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.
· Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.
· I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)
Things I would have liked:
· More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments
· A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.
· HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.
· C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.
· Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]
Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:
· Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?
· Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.
· “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?
· Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)
· Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)
Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:
· CC-save
In conclusion:
What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...
In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.
#tmfu#tmfu 2015#ilya kuryakin#napoleon solo#gaby teller#henry cavill#armie hammer#alicia vikander#the man from uncle 2015#the man from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from uncle#i don't know what this film's tags are meant to be to keep it from popping up in the TV series searches Sorry
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This may or may not be a touchy question (I guess it depends?), but how do you deal with hate with people who don't particularly like your work or the pairings you like? Because I've seen a fair amount of people stop creating content they want to make because of the backlash or hate they get simply for shipping something, so I do wonder... How do you do it? After all these years, how are you still standing, head held up high? – Much love! <3
I suppose a huge part in that is... personality? I mean, what type of person one is. Some people are very sensitive and negativity gets to them heavily.
Which, is ironic, because I am normally that type of person. I always overthink what other people may think of me and in real life I am easily deterred.
But something about the internet changes the dynamic for me.
If it’s in person? If someone looks me in the eye and criticizes the things I like? That has me fuming. But ain’t nothing more unpersonal than getting an anon and having this round fella with the sunglasses stare at you, or having a “guest” on AO3 comment something nasty.
Because they’re cowards. And the cowardice of the other party tells me that, so a certain degree, they themselves know they’re full of shit. Because if they were confident in what they’re saying, if they knew they were right with whatever they’re claiming, there’s no need to go anon. They could tell me “to my face” - as much as the internet allows that; by being logged in and starting a dialogue.
But someone who hides behind the grey round fella with the sunglasses to tell me I’m morally wrong? Makes me genuinely laugh. Because if I were, you had no reason to hide.
(At this point, I’d like to add, since you’re on anon too, that there’s different reasons for going on anon. Sometimes, it’s shyness. But if you think yourself morally superior to someone and want to ring the bell of shame behind them, you can’t hide behind anonymity. That’s different.)
I just really can’t take people seriously who hide in the shadows of anonymity to scream at me about how wrong I am. You’d do that with confidence if you knew you were right. But they’re wrong and full of shit. Because they are.
There is no “right” or “wrong” about taste. A ship ain’t only valid for being morally upstanding, pure, canon, whatever. And a person ain’t inherently vile for shipping something that’s unleathy, or toxic, or whatever buzzword they throw around.
Which is another part. I just... absolutely can not take anyone seriously who throws buzzwords around wildly and with no foundation, because they lack any common sense.
Yeah, they’re brothers and it’s incest, what do I care, they’re also fictional characters, I ain’t telling two real life brothers to bang and get married, what’s wrong with the people who can’t tell fiction apart from reality. That’s just pitiful.
I’ve also seen the other side of that. I’ve seen antis ship the exact thing that they’re judging, insulting and harrassing other shippers for. From incest to abuse apologism to just plain toxic canon dynamics. All the things they find a justification to harrass others about, but they ship things of that kind themselves. But their ships are ““different”“ from the ones they hate.
It all boils down to taste and it boils down to a bunch of morons who can’t grasp the concept of “taste” and the fact that... you can like something without it being pure and you can dislike something without it being every shade of morally corrupt.
They bend over backward to find justifications for why the ships they dislike are inherently bad, while they also bend over backward to justify why the exact same things they judge other ships for are actually wholesome and pure in the ships they like.
And at that point, I just genuinely feel bad for those people and am terrified for them. Because I am fully aware of what I ship. I know every deprived nook and cranny of my ships. I know the exact level of toxicity of the canon dynamics. I’m just also aware that they’re fictional characters. But the moment you start reaching to justify why abuse isn’t technically abuse, that’s when it becomes worrisome. And that’s what they do, to justify their own ships.
Now, I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t an attitude I always had and it’s not something I just woke up with one day.
I’ve been in fandom for 15 years now. I’ve seen a lot and I’ve dealt with a lot. I’ve seen when shipwars were primarily reserved to the canon straight love triangles. I’ve seen it devolve into “your ship isn’t valid the gays are getting in the way of the CANON STRAIGHTS”. I’ve seen the number of canon gays grow in media and how it affected these ship wars, invalidating ships where a canon gay ship was split up. And now this shit-show of antis.
My attitude grew out of seeing and experiencing a lot. I was lucky to be “raised” in a safe fandom environment, where the fandom olds took us youngsters under their wings and guided us, taught us how to improve our writing, helped us establish connections in a community.
And that last part, that’s important. Important in dealing with hate. Maybe the most important part, really. You have to find your community. Don’t let yourself be sucked into a circle of hate. Find the people who love the same things as you - the same show, the same characters, the same ships. Form friendships, find that community of positivity.
Fandom is what you make it. Even when other people try to make it something else, try to turn it into a hateful, gross place filled with harrassment and fear and moral policing. Regardless of how hard they try; your fandom is up to you.
Find the people who bring the positivity, who will come into your fics and leave reviews of love and positivity. And weed out the bad. Block them. Block the antis in your fandom, avoid them. Sometimes, preemtively going into an anti tag and just going on a block-spree can be really helpful already. You can block anons on tumblr too! Granted, only their ID, but at one point they’re gonna run out of devices to post anon hate from.
That much to my personal attitude toward it. Now to the act of actually dealing with it.
Many adivse, rightfully so, to ignore it. AO3 allows you to delete comments. On tumlr, you can just delete an anon and not answer it. Especially when you’re the type who is affected by it, not engaging is the best solution.
Personally, I like arguing with people. Everyone who ever talked to me might have noticed that. I live for a good argument. And I’m really bad at letting something just stand. So I usually argue back. I do that, because I am very bad at keeping my mouth shut, but also because it brings me a certain amount of glee to mock their nonsense.
I do it here. I have my “Dear Anonymous Shithead” tag where I address anon bullshit and anon hate from FFNet and AO3 - because FFNet doesn’t let you answer to anons. And then I delete the original comments on my fics, because I don’t like shitstains on my fics.
I call that approach meeting them on your own terms. Because they think they are doing something grand somehow by publicly leaving their vile comments on your fics. Delete them, take their voice away. Put it somewhere else to argue their nonsense on your own terms, mock them if you want, it’s fun. Fight your battle, the way you want to fight it - and that does include just deleting them and not engaging at all; that’s not running away, that’s self-care.
Like I said, my attitude’s not always been like that. It got me before too. Way, way back - and I really do mean way back, it’s been surely over five years ago - there was a tumblr account on here that spent an unreasonable amount of time openly hating on me. It’s the reason I avoided getting a tumblr, because back then I was not in a mental state to openly engage with such a hateful place.
And it’s still a hateful place; all those anti communities here. People proudly proclaiming they’re antis in their biography. People taking screenshots of other tumblrs or artists to mock them and make fun of them. The thing that changed isn’t tumblr, it’s me. I waited to engage with this place until I was ready to engage with it. I got my tumblr account when I already had the attitude of scoffing at anon hate.
I do think that only getting actively involved in a website when you are ready for it is another important part. The thing you mention in your ask, the people who stopped creating because of anon hate. It breaks my heart, it absolutely does, and I hate losing creators to it, but I do think that if those creators made that judgment call for themselves and their own mental health because they knew they couldn’t handle the harrassment, then they did the right thing. Even if they themselves may hate it, because they want to create. But sometimes, taking a step back is the right thing to do. I do hope that they will find it in themselves to overcome this and come back stronger, but constant harrassment and bullying can have severe consequences on a person and removing yourself from that kind of environment can sometimes be a last resort that needs to be taken.
I’ll also admit that I’ve been calculating what fandom to interact with to what degree ever since I got a tumblr account and started to see just how deep the hatred goes. Some things I might have created for, but I saw just how nasty the antis in the fandom were and... it wasn’t worth the fight for me.
Percy Jackson and Shadowhunters are my loves. My ride-or-die fandoms. I can, and will, fight for them. No one will chase me out of these fandoms, regardless of what kinds of insults and bullshit they throw at me. I’ve been here years longer than most of these newbie antis and I will be here long after they moved on to other things.
New things that I don’t have attachment to, I will weight if my level of interest in the thing will be worth engaging with the fandom nonsense with. Sometimes, it’s not, sometimes I make the judgment call for myself to step a way from a thing.
I admit, that happend with Teen Wolf too. Back when I did my last rewatch and enthusiastically engaged with it on here on tumblr, live posting about my rewatch and it... showed me startling, ugly sides of this fandom that I hadn’t known before, back when all my engagement had been to read fics and to write that one fic I had. That rewatch could have dragged me back into the deep end - but the brand of hate I encountered here... genuinely got to me. It really messed with my head, a lot, I’ve never been threatened before, I’ve never been insulted and constantly harrassed to such a degree. It was the first time I ever turned off anon on here, it put me into a sense of dread for just coming online for a while. I didn’t expect that, neither that it’d happen nor the extend of it or that it’d get to me like this. I still love Sterek to bits and pieces, it’ll be one of those ships I will always be attached to, but that experience with the bad side of the fandom made me recoil from getting involved with Teen Wolf again.
But in the Percy Jackson fandom? I’ve stood here for ten years now. I’ve gotten shit thrown at me about pretty much anything. I’ve also created over five hundred works for this fandom. I have received love and excitement in comments. I have received fanarts. I have received fanfiction to my fics. I’ve gotten fics dedicated to me by people who liked my work and wanted to write something nice for me. I’ve met one of my best friends and I’ve met my girlfriend in this fandom. Sure, I’ve been called names and been mocked, but I also know what I have.
I know I’m a damn good writer. I may not have much self-esteem, but what little self-esteem I have is located here, in the very thing they think they can attack. The thing is, I have no insecurities in this. This is the one area where you can’t attack me. And on top of that, I have that community of amazing people who love the same things as I do. I have the support, the friends, the shared hype. What do I care about some pitiful little fool hiding behind anonymity to whine about how wrong and gross I am? Their opinion weights nothing compared to that of the people who leave me anon love, who leave me squealy and excited comments.
To sum it all up:
Someone who has to hide behind anonymity is aware they don’t have the moral high ground.
Their definition of the “moral high ground” is so pitiful that it makes me feel bad for them.
I know the difference between fiction and reality and I pity the fools who don’t.
Find a positive fandom space for yourself and claim it.
Either delete anon hate, or meet it on your own terms.
Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I lose and the hate does get to me.
You need to make the judgment call for yourself, if you can mentally handle a situation or not, and do what is best for you.
#About Me#Fandom Life#How To Handle Antis#Fandom Discourse#and how to handle that#Phoe Giving Advise#Anonymous
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(Mod, can this anon just say I really appreciate how much self-control you have? When that Haiji defender showed up on your blog, you just said "get off my blog". This anon really appreciates how you didn't scream at them, accuse the person of secretly being a pedophile themself, tell them to kill themself or to choke on broken glass, encourage your followers to harass Haiji fans, etc. Today's generation of pop-culture-fandom could learn from your example.)
//Now that you bring this up, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to talk for a bit about fandom toxicity.
//There is, in a way, a feeling of entitlement and ownership when it comes to characters or properties. That, because these things hold a special place in our hearts, that they belong to us and that our interpretation of them is the correct one and that anyone who disagrees is wrong.
//So when there comes creative decisions or opinions made by others with those properties, even ones by the actual creator of the work, that don’t match up to our own, there can come a feeling that these are a direct attack against us as well. With that comes a lot of the worst parts of fan culture: harassment, insults, bullying, threats, and even actual attacks on these people.
//But the truth is, these people were probably just expressing their feelings and emotions about the same work, because they enjoy it too. They were never trying to directly or indirectly attack you, they just simply had a different opinion. It’s important to keep that in mind: the people you talk to online are human beings with thoughts and feelings of their own, and those feelings are rarely going to be the exact same as yours.
//An unfortunate part of the problem are the inherent psychological biases that we all have, and confirmation bias especially. Where we’ll focus on information we agree with (even if it’s factually wrong) and ignore anything that conflicts with that (even if it’s factually correct). This goes beyond just fandom, but I’m going to stay on topic.
//There is not a single human being at any point in history who hasn’t been guilty of these biases. You, me, everyone you’ve ever met, we’ve all done it at one point or another. The issue is when these biases get us to leap toward intolerant conclusions about those whose viewpoints we disagree with. “You don’t have the same opinion as me, so you must be stupid/evil/bigoted/brainwashed/etc.”
//It can be so easy to draw those conclusions about people, especially when the arguments aren’t well-structured and you’re in the heat of the moment. But let’s be real: we’re never all going to 100% agree on everything. And that’s okay. Hell, if we did, that sounds more like a dystopian nightmare scenario where free thinking has been suppressed.
//And thinking is an activity I’ve always encouraged. Toxicity is ultimately at odds with critical thinking, where any dissenting opinion is hunted down and suppressed and anyone who speaks up is bullied into silence. That is not what my blogs are about. It does kinda make me sad that I’m being praised for not being a toxic asshole, because I don’t really feel like that’s praiseworthy. I want that to be a normal thing.
//Here’s an experiment: take your favorite DR character and ask yourself why you like them. What is it about them that drew you to them? Their personality? Their backstory? Their role in the narrative of whichever game they were in? When you have those reasons in mind, consider the following: what about this character is flawed? What about them is inherently dark or troubling? Why might someone else dislike them?
//And then work backwards from there: take your least favorite DR character and ask yourself why you dislike them. Then find all the ways why someone else might like them without diving straight into intolerant conclusions. Look past the surface and dig a bit deeper to see what exactly makes them tick.
//That’s not me asking for essays, that’s something I want you all to consider for yourselves.
//I’ll be the first to admit I really disliked Junko. I didn’t consider her all that interesting of a character or a villain, and she just cames off as very annoying and overblown to me. I considered everything that she sets in motion to be far more interesting.
//I have, however, seen a lot analyses and in-depth looks at her as a character and after going through those, I came away with a lot of insights I didn’t even consider before. My opinion hasn’t changed too much, but I can definitely see (DR3 notwithstanding) all the way she can and does make for a interesting villain.
//So the takeaway is, even if you don’t end up changing your opinion, you can at least say “I still disagree, but I’ve gained some perspective into why someone would feel this way and I’m better for it.” Critical thinking does not mean you have to give up your opinions, and there does exists a very wide middle ground between total agreement and toxic harassment.
//But critical thinking is at odds with the idea that it’s best to retcon, ignore, or fabricate details of canon that we disagree with to justify those opinions. This is why I got so mad at the anon who claimed Haiji was talking about fictional underage girls, something that is not at all substantiated by evidence in the game. You can’t simply ignore these details because you don’t like them.
//Critical thinking is about being able to either say, “Okay, I fully acknowledge that these details about this character I like are problematic and I understand why it might upset people, but they’re not the sole or central reason why I like this character”, or “Okay, after careful analysis, maybe I was wrong about what I originally thought about them.”
//Me personally, I look at these details and ask “Okay, but how can we build off of this? Can we tell a new story with it?” For example, while SDRA2 Chapter 0 left a bad taste in most everyone’s mouths, I didn’t want to just retcon it. Instead, thought Kokoro being regretful over her actions and wanting to reconnect with her daughter would make for a very interesting story.
//But the most important part of this that I’d want anyone to take away is that it’s important to listen to others and consider their viewpoints as well, and again without immediately jumping toward conclusions and talking over them before they make their case. Listen to people, ask them questions, and remember that on the other end of the conversation is another human being with thoughts and feelings of their own.
//Now, there is that invisible fear that “understand that others have different opinions” is shorthand for “just accept that some people are into r*pe/inc*st/p*dophilia and let them make content of it.” I promise you that is not at all what I’m suggesting here. I hope my previous angry rant about Haiji cemented that fact.
//What I am saying is that we need to be acutely aware of both the thoughts and feelings of others and those of ourselves. That it’ll be better for us as well as others to apply critical thinking and careful insight into our opinions, not taking them as inherent fact simply because we hold them, and understand that others will not always enjoy the same content the same way we do.
//And most importantly, being able to separate those who are willing to listen vs. those who’ll prefer to stay toxic, bitter, and unmoving is a very important skill to learn. There is no shame in withdrawing yourself from any sort of talk with a person who upsets people for fun, and it will be better for your health in the long run.
//Finally, let’s be real, what’s gained from arguing with people online? People who you never have and probably never will meet? Not much. But if someone is not going to budge and only wants to share their toxicity with the world, it’s better for you to simply walk away, block them, cut yourself off, and move on. Their toxicity is their deal, and it doesn’t have to be yours.
//But I also think there are people who are willing to listen, who may simply not know that they’re engaging in things that are hurtful or toxic. And some frank but kind insight as to why can change their opinions. A willingness to listen, not to just defend their position, is what’s important.
//I’ll be completely honest here and say I was in that position once. I’ve said and thought some awful things before, and I feel so fortunate that I met the right people who stopped me from going down that road before I got too far. Not with hostility or arguments, but honest and kind discussions and insights.
//As fans and as people in general, we can, should, and need to be better. That’s why I don’t want my space to be full of hate and bullying, but just storytelling and creative discussions, where people are welcome to express their opinions, and even if we disagree, that’s alright. We’ve at least gained some insight into each others’ views ^^
//Compassion and wisdom are what I consider the most important virtues, and being more critical of ourselves is how I think we can solve the issue of fandom toxicity. That’s what I’ve tried to apply here. My goal is just to tell a good story for you all to enjoy here, and I appreciate each and every one of you who’ve followed, liked, reblogged, or even just considered any of my posts worthwhile to read
//And if you made it all the way through this, I hope you’ll consider everything I’ve said here as well. You can’t change every single toxic person out there, but you can change yourself for the better and encourage others to do the same.
#mod talks#mod rambles#a student out of time#I didn't have any bad experiences recently I promise#this has just been on my mind for a while and I felt like sharing#Anonymous
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