#I NEED THEM BOTH BACK SO MUCH 😭
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I know I technically passed the Trigun Stargaze date but I was busy fighting demons (sane Trigun fan reactions) until night became morning
#NO BECAUSE ITS INSANE#WDYM ITS NOT JUST GONNA BE TRIGUN STAMPEDE SEASON TWO#ALSO THE SECRECY OVER MILLY HAS TO BE WORTH IT BECAUSE GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH 😭😭😭#THE CONCEPT ART IS TO DIE FOR DAWG LIKE THE PUPPET MASTER IS SO MUCH MORE SINISTER AND IM PRAYING THAT ELENDIRA WOULD BE LIKE THE ART#I NEED THEM BOTH BACK SO MUCH 😭#also THE NEW PLANT LORE????#THERES SO MANY IMPLICATIONS BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY MEAN BY TWO POWERS WITH ONE BEING ABLE TO TAKE AND ONE BEING ABLE TO BRING#AND THE FIRST ENTITY???? PLANTS BEING PROGRAMMED???????????? AND MORE ABOUT THE DIMENSION??????????????????????????#God I hope that Trigun Stargaze would be a little longer because I need to know all this#and hopefully they would go in-depth with other stuff too like the Eye of Micheal and the cities#maybe even delve into backstories of the Gung ho Guns… (puppeteer in the manga was sooooo vague bc wdym Vash knew him#like bro really came and went without any further knowledge of that)#oughhhh this is me rambling but holy smokes dude I’m going insane over this#also praying that Milly Thompson comes back 😭🙏🙏🙏#Trigun
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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Good morninggg my pretties! 💕😙 Had a cute little cozy dream that Shoko your formal college best friend (she, obviously — majored in medicine while you majored in art), introduces to you to her other two best idiots she grew up with. And immediately, the boys inevitably, falls head over heels for you. You were perfect; you had brains, looks and a gracious sense of morality (which Suguru found so, so attractive about you even more…your luring, big doe eyes being his strong second…Satoru found contentment in your smile and how you carried yourself, your looks were a bonus to him).
So, they have a little “turf war” with you. Trying to see who could make you fall for them more.
Suguru takes you on cute, casually romantic art museums, cozy picnics and laying out under the stars dates, all while Satoru takes you out to fancy restaurants, late night walks on the beach and movie dates. They were sooo sickeningly in love with you, and by the end of the two months of getting to know them, spending so much time with each of them…you couldn’t help but indubitably fall for both of them, just as hard.
And that, was the dilemma you currently found yourself in.
Until they come to a mutual agreement to date them both. Becoming each others safe havens and endearing muses. 💗
#stoppp this was so cuteee#I love them your honor 😭😭🥺💕💗💞#SUGURU WOULD BE SO SOO SWEET AND GENTLEMENYYY#OPENING UP DOORS PULLING AND PUSHING IN YOUR CHAIR TO SIT DOWN + STAND STANDING SO SAFELY CLOSE TO YOU 😭😭😭#*bangs fists onto table* I NEED HIM SO BAD YOU JUST DON'T KNOW#AND SATORU BEING THE SILLY GOOFY FUCK THAT HE IS WASTES NO TIME INTO MAKING YOU LAUGH…BASKS IN THE ADORABLE FITS OF GIGGLE AND SNORTS FROM#HELP THEY’RE BOTH LOVE SICK DUMBASSES#THROWING UP AND WAILING ON THE FLOOR HOLD ON—#(what if we threw in a former childhood friend/college roommate! Choso in there as well?…...)#I CANT NO NOOOO#OHHH THE HURT AND ANGST AND SOOO SO MUCH LOVE AND ADORATION AND AND SHDBDJDHDJ#BYE GOING BACK TO SLEEEEP 😭😭😭😖😣😫😫#satosugu x reader#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#choso kamo x reader#geto suguru#gojo satoru#choso kamo#jjk#AU
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me staring at my gorgeous pretty princess who does no wrong and is also the best rgg antagonist:
#i love him so much rgg bring him back i know you want to#THRICE I HAVE BEEN RYUJI FISHED. THRICE.#also i will be taking no criticisms he is the best. say what you want about nishiki and mine but ryuji is just top tier#i love both of them as well and they’re also incredibly good antagonists but THEY’RE NOT RYUJI#and if you think about it the only really good antagonists are in 1;2 and 3 apart from shishido#shibusawa is a bit dead#don’t get me started on 4 i hate everything about the final bosses of that game#5 was dead#6 was dead#masato was alright he’s up there#ebina and dwight were tragic 😭😭😭#ryuji barely fucking shows up and he’s just that good 😭#i need justice for my queen he needs to come back#zad talks#yakuza#rgg#ryuji goda#goda ryuji#yakuza 2#yakuza kiwami 2
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this is a personal speculation/headcannon of mine (it’s probably extremely ooc so i apologize in advance); but i feel like king baldwin iv would never approach his beloved or confess his love willingly. though he views this illness as a blessing from God, i feel like there’s some part of him that will not allow himself to love his s/o like any other *normal* lover. because there’s still that part of him that views himself as nothing but a battered body- carried only by weak tired bones and ruined skin and polluted blood, and you are far too precious to be burdened with his suffering. he loves you too much for that. so he loves you from afar, and contents himself at the sight of your smile, bright and laughing and innocent, his blue, blue eyes cloudy with longing. and he aches, oh, he aches. (and the worst part of this is maybe the fact that he knows it has nothing to do with his sickness this time.)
#UGHH IT'D BE SO ANGSTYY#COS HIS BELOVED LOVES HIM BACK#BUT HE'LL NEVER WANT THAT FOR THEM#tbh this is the theme i tried to put in both of my previous works for him but i feel like i did a pretty bad job#but mehh#also#i feel like this is pretty ooc so im really really sorry#BUT I HAD TO GET IT OUT OF ME#I HAD TO EXORCIZE THIS OUT OF ME FOR HOW MUCH IT WAS HAUNTING ME ISTGG#but anywaysss#hope you enjoy!!#and please share your thoughts!!#leper king#king baldwin iv#king baldwin iv x reader#king baldwin x reader#koh#kingdom of heaven 2005#edward norton#i NEED HIM SO BAD 😩😩#and its not even romantically 😭😭😭
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Fam and i were passing a sock shop and we saw a cyclops one and In Devious Union my brother and i said ‘cysocks’
#snap chat#speaking of siblings tho i finished those Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver comics and i fear i need more i love them sm 😭😭 back to me tho.. lol#so it turns out we share a braincell. AWFUL !!!#YOU KNKW WHAT HE SAID TO MEON THE TRAIN context i put eyeliner on so i look esp like a raccoon today. also more rings but whatever#my brother was like ‘at least we dont have to worry about anyone sitting next to us theyjust have to look at you and be like 👀’#LIKE WHY IS HE SO MEAN TODAY well jokes on his dumbass two kids ended up having to sit next to us ANYWAY#SO DIE <- this is average brother banter please be nice to us both#my dad was a lot nicer about my outfit … as per usual … omg wait this blog gets to leaen about how cool my dad is and how much i love him :]#ANYWAY MY DAD WAS NICER he literally stopped me and turned me around just to look at my whole outfit sosnwkssk#he kept insisting it was very cool and that i was fashionable. he DID be like ‘wow ! emo :)’ at first which almost made me throw up laughing#but thats what my dad does best: making me laugh and Not making me feel like a gross heathen. unlike SOME parents……………#anyways if we walk hy the shop again ill take a pic of the cysocks. because thats what this post was about fjWPDJSKSK#FOR NOW BYE my bro and i are in a bank lobby rn dodnskkejz#my dad had to do somethin real quick but he should be back soon then we’re going to meet my. older sis#see theyre both older than me but i distinguish them via Older Sister and Eldest Sister#because using their names is ridiculous. ok bye
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My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think
#amphibia#marcanne#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#in one hand: marcy kidnapped her. by giving her AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT something that was meant to benefit HER#(yes she didn't know it would work but the point is that she thought about herself first. even though it was her best friend's birthday)#she never wanted to come back. she wanted to keep her with her forever. she was happiest when they were together#most importantly she saw what she did as a good thing. as something good that she gave to her#yet still lied to her. After what happened with Sasha#she still lied to her. became another person to betray Anne#then she fucking died for her 😭😭😭#on the other hand. you have anne#she looked after her. she certainly loved her. but she didn't care much about the things that were important to marcy#nor did she care about her feelings or needs. she and sasha third-wheeled her for years#even though marcy came first#she could only really see her once sasha was gone#you have to remove her from the equation for both of them to flourish and connect#because the shadow of sasha's abuse oppressed them for so long. anne and marcy reuniting in S2 looked a lot like two people escaping#abuse together. healing together. coming into their own. becoming better people. they get to know themselves and each other much more deeply#now that they're free. only - they aren't free. they're constantly thinking about sasha. when sasha comes back they welcome her#they reproduced the toxic patterns she left of them#though i'll recognize that in anne's case she healed a lot more from sasha's toxicity than marcy#and you can see that in how her way of relation to marcy is a lot healthier than marcy's way of relating to anne#anne is now truly and genuinely connecting to her friend. marcy is still lying to her#pushing down her feelings. ignoring her own needs. pretending everything is okay. lying lying lying#anne was the only one who could escape but marcy couldn't quite move on yet. she couldn't be free#hope this makes sense i'm writing it at 4am i'll delete tomorrow if i realize it sounds dumb
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once i get back into the groove of things i’m gonna pick up some hobbies 🙏🏼
#legit need to get back into writing but sighhhhhhhh idk how#i also wanna learn art!!!!! i even started a photo refs board on pinterest/am gonna make an art refs board too#i’ve just been seeing so much amazing art lately and am SO inspired#momoshouu changed my life w goth!suguru & phorigami changed my life w amano style!suguru… like WHEW#the goth!suguru & yoshitaka amano-inspired art of suguru & also kale’s suguru & user owwllly & wacuoms suguru is so inspiring#makes me LEGIT want to learn art so i can draw sugu & all my fav characters how my brain sees them#i should stay consistent and actually learn the basics though omg 😭#if anyone has any tips they’d be v welcome <333 both for writing AND art tbh 😭#also need to start hitting the gym/daily walks omg it’s so hot here now but i realized i need the sun 😭 vitamin D here i come :3#FIRST AND FOREMOST I NEED TO RB EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN TAGGED IN/I’VE READ!!!!!#i read all the fics idk why my brain won’t let me write the tags 😭 my brain has gotten too tired lately same w my hands KDJDJDJDJD#but :| i need to do it actually and not put it off bc the writing is truly AMAZING and ASTOUNDING#i just want my tags to express how much i enjoyed everything too 😭#but anyways :3 JIN IS COMING BACK IN A WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK#i wonder how festa is gonna look like :o#but everyone who gets to meet and hug jin… That Should Have Been Me#personal
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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I mentioned this briefly yesterday but basically my mom lost her little purse while walking the dogs and we’ve looked everywhere in our neighborhood and someone definitely took it bc it’s nowhere to be found. We have no way to track the location of anything in it bc she still has her phone, but the purse contained literally everything else we had. All of our money and all of my mom’s cards and important items were in it and now we have absolutely nothing. So if anyone could help us out so we can pay for food and bills and stuff while we sort this out it would really be SO appreciated like we’re just completely screwed rn 😭 Anything any of you could spare would really help us so much like we’re currently just penniless with no backup plan or anything and we used the rest of the little food we had to make dinner tonight and now we have nothing left
My Cashapp, PayPal, and Venmo are all karmabauer
#I hate that I keep having to do this but yeah we rlly need the help rn#and I’m currently busy with therapy and everything bc I finally got mental health treatment again#after struggling to get into any programs for so long#and my therapist and case worker both want me to get myself to a point where I’m much more mentally stable#before they help me get back in the workforce#which I agree with them on bc the last few jobs I’ve had have ended rlly badly bc of how badly I was doing mentally#but it’s rlly stressful that I haven’t been able to get a new source of income for so long#I’m making a lot of progress tho so soon I’ll def be able to be more self sufficient#and idk I just rlly appreciate those of you who’ve helped me during this time#and anyone who may decide to help now#love y’all sm genuinely 😭 u guys are really so kind and make me feel so much hope idk :’) 💖
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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( friends it’s now “crying over tamlen x mahariel” hours )
#[chaos mode]&ooc#sometimes I randomly think of them#and then they are stuck in my head#but like the way Theron loved tamlen so fucking much????#and he never got to know if tam loved him back#i have so many thoughts about this#I just need Theron and Tamlen tbh#I want their happy ending#even if if they’re both wardens#bc they would still be together#ughhhh#someone let me rant about this tbh 😭😭
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It's 2024 can we please stop saying it's normal to trace or copying an entire drawing and pretending it's 100% your work? Just bc you changed the character or added clothes on a base you found on pinterest it doesn't mean you created original art
#wren text tag#tw: vent#like tracing and copying are morally grey. If you want to trace to learn stuff or practice or study it's ok ig#maybe don't post it online or if you have to... don't trace from picture/other people artworks/bases you found online w/o giving credits#unless it's a base an artist made specifically for tracing purposes#I think this depends on where you draw the line bc I'm much more strict abt copying/tracing from art rather than photographs 🤔#at least with photos you have to do some mental exercise for your mucle memory + simplification studies#personally I don't like tracing bc it feels lazy like are you a copyprinter 😐🤨#this vent needs some lore otherwise this looks so fucking umpromted it's almost confusing 🙄🙄🙄#kinda found out sb who was copying or tracing both from fucking pose references from Pinterest and other people artworks 😅#like poses ref ig they are ok but you should check the Terms of Condition of the original artist first. For the artworks plagiarized. DUDE#surprised no one has found out yet but if I see another copied drawing my netiquette is leaving my body and I'm turning into a HATER#or another comment like “omg your poses looks so dynamic”. I'm flying#btw I blocked them so my dash is free. Sadly we are also in the same disc server so I'm kinda cooked#thinking of leaving it so I don't have to start drama and discussions. I'm not a fan of call-out and stuff and if I can avoid it I will#btw I say copied/traced bc some are traced over while others are hopefully just eyeballed. What bothers me is the amount of plagiarized art#like almost half of those fanarts are copied poses. The other half are character standing on a white bg. I hope those aren't copied as well#it's already bad... but if only was just for the bases. That one traced artwork can almost be damaging to the fanbase reputation 🤦♀️ smh#there are only a few artist in that part of the fandom I don't need an art thief drama. I guess I will shut up and look away 😑#anyway that's the lore which didn't help with my Art Block. Actually it made worse. That's why it took me so long to be back lol 🤣😂😭#pov: you log on tumblr 🥰 and you have an art crisis 😍#Are u telling me I could have done that? Copying and tracing and taking all the credits instead of wasting time learning anatomy?! 🤯#Ok the last tag was sarcastic but wouldn't be funny. Loved vagueposting tho 💖🥰#And now that this post is published I can finally rest. I had this thing in drafts since September#To whom is asking about who this person is. I won't tell. I just want to forget what I saw. Ty and bye 💖✨️
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AO 2024 • Doubles • R1 • Miscellaneous
#many mixed feelings in the last 24hours so i kinda needed to make a post about it#First I would like to thank the A team for saving my birthday by both advancing to R2#Andrea ended 2023 on two titles back to back and i'm so happy he carried that energy with him this season🥺#And Andreas having a great start with JP. Really hoping they'll stick together#( but only up to the grass season. Because grass season is Andi and Demo season. Yes i make doubles tennis schedules now)#Now off to the bitter sweet stuff...#Demo and Marcus being back together for the first time since 2021...#...just to lose their first match on Demo's birthday after rain delays dragged the whole thing for almost five hours 💀#Matty and Bopi advancing to R2...#...beating Johnny Mill in the process who played his last professionnal match before retiring from tennis#look at the way Matty looks at Johnny i'm sobbing 😭😭😭#why do retiring players always have to lose against their bestie?#the tennis Gods have no mercy#Rafa and Luisa went from winning the AO last year to needing a wild card to make it to the main draw this year and exiting after R1#rafa comforting Luisa was so soft i love them so much 🥺#i just want the doubles kittens to be happy#is that too much to ask?#thank you for coming to my therapy session#doubles trouble collection
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#what? anda... no.#willys wonderland#i love him so much#the janitor#i know everyone has ranted on him so imma do it on the dl in the tags like omg#nonverbal - sunglasses so he doesnt have to make eye contact all the time - huge amounts of caffiene to function bc adhd also i said so#plus its a safe food and just the one flavor pls - ultra dedicated to finishing the job - pinball special interest obv#breaks taken religiously and even the breaks are structured - can crunched the same way every time - hygiene important#cannot wear a dirty shirt under any circumstances - music and lights need to be the right way or overstimulating af#was in the military bc obv needs structure and an outlet for overstim anger - does the logical thing waiting for help instead of walking#just accepts existence of killer haunted robocunts like ok this is a thing now which is so badass also#driving also a fave activity which w/pinball theyre solo activities for maximum headspace#he has absolutely weaponized the rbf and strategic eye contact and hes so right!!!#make them uncomfortable back and theyll leave you alone!!!#i srsly dunno if hes more badass or more nd but hes a beautiful blend of both#😭 i love him i wanna put him in an enclosure i promise i will give him so many energy drinks
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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