#I NEED THEIR PLUSHIES SO BADLY DONT EVEN.

[morkanslily]

my brother

[baby-xemnas]

I really need a moment of a bear-mink trying to seduce Bepo and he doesn't get what is happening [like: oh! you are also a bear lady/guy, let's talk about fur-problems and the other like: yeah, we can solve our problems together ;) ] and Law trying to interrupt because he knows what is happening with he's face of "im going to kill you in sooo many ways..."

or my fav. yandere Bepo killing a plushie of himself because in the darkness of their room looked like he was "cheating again" sleeping with another bear .

love yandere Bepo destroying every plush toy Law may buy he is so crazy...i think if it keeps happening Law has to be questioned if he enjoys Bepo's insane jealousy. He should bring it up to Bepo in bed sometimes, just starts laughing about Bepo crushing another cute little bear so he can see Bepo, unguarded go through stages of shame and to maybe even accusing Law like "well captain shouldnt...shouldnt hug anything but me ..im cute .." Bepo is ashamed but at the same time emboldened by the fact that they are in the middle of sex and Law decided to make fun of him while he fucks him, but also ashamed cuz yes...it is incredibly petty and childish...he is gonna cry. But Bepo likes being allowed to be childish he likes that Law lets him be a crybaby...he loves loving him so selfishly!! So he is ashamed yes but he will do it again! Every time!!!

Law smiles because he likes it too.....

replying in wrong order, for the first scenario:

I want so badly for Bepo to fumble a bear girl and feel NOTHING like he'd probably have some neuron activation purely on physical level but conversation would leave him paralyzed - like oh god there is a whole person there i gotta deal with...fuck. Maybe i dont want it as much as i thought...

Gay bear mink trying to fuck him would be a riot....oh Law would be furious.

I think in both cases Law would use his absolute authority and simply call Bepo - and because he wouldnt even need to walk closely, Bepo's hearing is excellent and he is naturally tuned in to hear Law's voice- yes even while he's having a conversation, Bepo WILL hear Law calling him over any noise.

Law would say it loud and clear and be somewhere close just to watch Bepo be startled - it's cute and Law gets off to having a strong effect on his dear Bepo. "Who is your Daddy?" the mink flirting with Bepo will be terribly disappointed how quickly Bepo bows out and dips.

Law all huffy turning away before Bepo caught up: Let's go.

Bepo: Sorry Captain!!!

Law, horrible person liking how easily he can make Bepo feel bad: We've wasted enough time.

Bepo: 🥺🥺🥺🥺 sorry...

Law, horrible person also liking how easily he can distract Bepo from feeling bad: Bear mink huh? Thats rare...he/she was hitting on you, you know.

Bepo, genuinely flustered cuz he didnt realize it: WHAT??? NO! CAPTAIN I DIDNT?? WHAT? I DIDNT KNOW...Im sorry

Law, horrible person reveling in Bepo now, instead of feeling guilty looking like he feels gross that he didnt know their intentions: So would you?

Bepo suddenly shooting to the peak of defiance and defense and "i love Captain most in the world im your bitch dont take that away from me please ill blow this whole island up if Captain thinks i could be with someone else":

NO!

[bleue-flora]

Hey same anon :]

Undiagnosed more in a "he's clearly some type of neurodivergent, but his parents refuse to acknowledge it and shame P!Tommy for any type of coping mechanisms he tries to form (stop shaking your hands, we're in public. Stop making that noise, it's annoying. You dont need the plushie, you're too old to carry it around. Cant you stop making things up for attention?) so sometimes he meltdown badly and gets completly overwhelmed even tho normally he doesn't mind/likes lots of noise and people"

And thats when he asks to go to Exile, because he's overwhelmed, doesn't want anyone to see him like that, and is deeply upset about how a happy moment turned sour so quick. + he doesn't want to scream at his friends if they try to talk to him :[

[context]

I mean you have a right to believe what you want or make up your own kid Tommy for this concept of it all being an imagination game between kids, but again in my mind I don't think any version of Tommy is or should be considered neurodivergent/autistic, he just doesn't have the characteristics and that's saying something considering that the spectrum is pretty diverse. And I say that as someone who is autistic and has ADHD, whose friends are pretty much all diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodivegent with autistic and/or ADHD, whose family has a whole bunch of neurodivergence and who sees a therapist regularly who specializes in autism. Now I'm not going to claim I know everything, but I think from personal experience both from being around others and my own life as well as having researched and studied it enough to say Tommy is an annoying kid, but that doesn't make him autistic. Some kids are just annoying and loud and stuff but that doesn't mean he's stimming or whatever. Plus we don't see cc!Tommy stim, we don't see c!Tommy stim so why would p!Tommy, a kid who plays c!Tommy in his game of make believe stim? It doesn't make sense.

Some common traits of autism (obviously not all inclusive) is logical minded, struggle to understand emotions, tendency to be honest to the point of rude (not to say we can't lie but it's not our default and if we are lying there's either a reason or it's part of masking), tendency to follow rules and like fairness and justice, tend to be good at patterns and puzzles... do those sound like Tommy to you? because while the spectrum is diverse these are just a few examples of him missing the mark entirely... or perhaps the biggest reason Tommy isn't autistic - he doesn't make sense to me. He lacks all logic and the things he does do not make sense to me or my autistic friends I've told, not because I am unempathetic or unable to see people's point of view (I have actually spent a lot of time working on myself to develop those skills), but because he is neurotypical and I will always struggle to understand them because my brain does not think like they do...

[penguin--person]

omg almost forgot to ask.. 🖊 ramble about any one of ur ocs my friend

i was waiting for the perfect chance to answer this ask, when i got hit with a case of Thinking About The Character !!! and now i have !!!! so u get to hear me ramble about volkov's fucked up father/son(/daughter/pet/pest) relationship w nina

ok so like. goddd. ok. im listening to eat shit and die by harley poe and it sparked this sudden burst so u get to blame that song for this

these 2 are both pafl ocs: volkov is a scientist, and nina is a mutant. her mutation is that shes born dead but still lives, kinda !! like... if you dont take proper care of her, shes gonna decay and rot and die for real. she has little control of her body, little understanding of whats going on - though, the latter one isnt due to her mutation, its due to no one explaining anything to her!!! if volkov talked her through things, told her what things mean, etc, shed be far more aware of her surroundings than she is

volkov sooo badly wants to be the Right Man. he wants to be the husband that hes expected to be to marya, he wants to be the father hes expcted to be to nina !! he wants to fulfill the expectations that Society has set upon him. he so so badly wants to do things right. but he cant !!! both he and marya are gay, neither know it. he proposes to her after she gets pregnant, she accepts, but leaves him a few months after that bc she realises she doesnt want her kid to have him as its father. she dies in childbirth, though, and ninas a mutant !! so volkovs fucked !!!! he cant even be the right ex-husband !!!!

but he can still be a father !!! maybe not a good one, but he can take care of nina, he can take care of his awful, idiotic dissapointment of a son, and he'll be doing things right then !!! so, like. for 14 years he dedicates his entire life to taking care of nina at the facility. making sure that shes not terminated, that shes not put through any too-dangerous experiments, that no one but him can hurt her, basically.. and he thinks hes doing things right !!!! hes taking care of her !!! shed be dead without him !!! hes being a father. but she doesnt even know that hes her daddd he never tells her shit. she thinks hes just her caretaker

he tells her goodnight stories sometimes, tells her about his day, explains bits and pieces of the experiments, is gentle when he helps her get dressed !!! gets her plushies sometimes. rarely, but still, treats her like he'd treat her if she was his son - but she never will be !!! even if she was human, even if she could live like one, she wouldnt be his son !! her genders freakish and grotesque. not exactly a tgirl but close enough. so its like. aighhhh g..

like !! he would die to keep her alive for just a moment longer !!! hed break all his bones just for her to breathe some more etc etc ... and he does !!!! thats how he dies, trying to give her a good life ... but he doesnt love her, he doesnt care about his son, not even his daughter, but about what nina Means !! what she symbolises !!! he wants to be a father, and she lets him be one. he doesnt care about her happiness - as long as shes there, breathing, hes a father. so hes doing something right. if she dies, hes fucked!!! his ex gf is dead, his kid is dead, hes got a shitty job, no friends, no family, nothing!!!!! this is his last chance to take his place in society !! its his fault, for the most part, but its like aughhhh . hes so AWFULLL i need to wring him out like a wet dishrag

when nina gets set for termination, he escapes with her !!! and starts treating her like an actual good father would !!! he asks her what shed like to wear, listens to music with her, tries to get her opinion on what he feeds her !!!!! for the first time in her 14 years of life, volkov is being a good father. its so alien to her that she becomes convinced that its not volkov whos taking care of her !! someone has replaced him, something has posessed him, its Not Him. she tries to kill him, but bc of her mutation, fails !! her muscles are too weak n stuff ... but volkov sees that she wants to kill him, that she wants him dead, that these past 14 years have been for nothing, that hes nothing, hes never been a father, never will be, he fucked up !!!! and finishes the job for her . they then rot together for however long it takes for someone to find their corpses

ITS SOOO !!! HE FUCKED UPPP SO BADDD AND HE DOESNT EVEN LOVE HER !!! NO FATHER'S LOVE IN HIM !!!!!! he put her through 14 shitty years, treated her 'as they both deserved', because This Is What A Father Is Supposed To Do !!!!! aughghghggg !!!!!he doesnt knowww that you dont vivisect your kids ... he doesnt knowww ... aughhh . it all could have so easily been avoided. but it never could have been, because this is who he is !!! HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HER !!!! he doesnt care that SHE wants him dead, or even that HE or IT wants him dead, he cares that his life as a father is over !!!! he fucked up, he didnt do the right job !!!! he cares that he cant lie to himself anymore !!!!! he let things stay the same for 14 years and then struggled to understand why everything was rusted, decaying !!!!!!! hes fuckeddd

and like, he DOES want to be a good father, he DOES want to be a good husband, a good person !!! but its like !!! its more about Appearing that way ??? as long as he does whats expected of him, hse fine , yknow ??? aughhh . voklovvvv speak to me volkov . im yapping but im joyous . hes too obsessed with what nina represents in his mind that he fails to see her as her own person, with her own thoughts and desires, until its too late !!! until she cant be convinced that hes capable of gentleness !!!!! her attempt at killing him is the first real choice she makes in her life, and its sooo fucking ... AUGHGHGHHGHHH!!!!!! I HATE THE FLOOR!!!!!!! aouwuwughhhh

[sketchesandnonesense]

I feel like hell so I'm having profoundly Selfish thoughts today like

"I wonder if any doll makers would want to do a make-a-wish for my pathetic cancer riddled ass and make me a doll just right to my specifications as some kinda charitable christmas miracle"

Like

A doll is a very time consuming thing to make. And expensive. Theres a reason sculptors n customizers are expensive.

It's stupid to even think about.

Like yeah I'm 2 years into dealing with cancer and things are not looking Great if I'm entirely honest but I dont have an expiration date on my forehead and given the circumstances with the people in my life I am incredibly lucky.

So like.

I feel like a bad person even thinking about it.

Yknow?

Idk. Putting a cut just bc maybe it'll make me feel like I have SOME shame about overthinking this if that makes sense.

But I can't get the thought out of my head. Like.

Maybe in some fucked up way it could be mutually beneficial if they were one of those youtuber types or even just a smaller maker.

Doing something like bringing a cancer patient's dream doll to life could turn heads. Would make one hell of a good youtube video, for sure. Lol.

Worst thing is though is just. My dream doll is BB. Theres details I could alter and concede on and things but for the most part I want her to be directly like my sketches. Cartoony and simple.

I feel like I'm like a loser telling a sob story on deviantart saying my mom's uncle's hamster died n the only thing to help is free art from a stranger. A shameless choose-y beggar with a sob story.

But if you'll let me be alil melodramatic for a minute just so I can get it out of my system.

But

I've loved dolls all my life. Not always seen myself as much of a collector, really, but I love them. And one thing I always wanted was a doll that was Mine. Made exactly how I wanted, just for me. No hangups, no skimping on things, no compromises. It was a pipe dream. I wanted to be a doll maker so badly. But I was never good with physical crafts. They never came out right (rarely even came out GOOD at that). I tried and tried everything I could. Making plushies, clay, customizing pre-existing dolls, anything. Nothing worked. I just am not cut out for doll making.

So, I accepted this was something I needed a professional to do for me. And over the years I've trusted people with my characters and while I do adore the work I've gotten. None of it's ever Done It. Because I was always having to make a dozen little sacrifices. Having to account for the artist's style. Sometimes the design had to change to be more feasible and so it didnt cost as much. Sometimes it just straight up didnt turn out.

I remember as a kid I got enough christmas money to commission an itty bitty plush of my sonic OC from an expensive plush artist. I was so excited. I thought it was finally happening.

It was awful. Quality was mediocre at best. It was maybe 3 inches tall. And the eyes were this weird stiff fabric piece that kinda jutted out from the felt and looked glued on.

V petty side tangent, i know, but just kinda the first example where I tried to fufill this dream and it just. Fell through.

Its always still stuck with me through the years, trying again and again to make a doll, but all I have to show is boxes of half-used supplies im too ashamed to even look at.

And now I'm here again. Thinking about it.

I've said it before, but my past two years have been awful. 2023 was entirely eaten up by my chemo and radiation and recovering from having my entire stomach removed. Thought I was cancer free and was starting to find normal again. Then in january scans and biopsies I was told it came back. Liver, this time. This entire year has been trying different chemo drugs and scans and things looking up only to crash back down again.

And I'm so tired.

I actually was (technically still am) trying to commission someone to make my doll. Pay an artist properly like you should. I saved up and I figured I deserved it with everything. Im 27, I'm an adult, i can make my own decisions.

She didnt disclose she'd just moved. To a rural area. And was still struggling to get internet and plumbing situated. Or that there was much of a queue infront of me. Its my fault for not looking into it more and finding the practically defunct social medias and untouched-for-months trello page. I was promised a turnaround time within a month. That was back in august.

Anytime I check in there's always something new going wrong. Broken tablet pen, power outages, family stuff. I dont think she's a scammer or trying to make excuses. She's sweet. But im exhausted of waiting.

Im sort of just accepting I'm never seeing that money back, or getting my doll. The paypal protection will still let me charge back, but I'm not about to put a woman in her situation in the red, especially when she's got a kid to feed. Maybe she'll get done eventually, but if I can be morbid and dramatic, i think by that point BB would have to be a grave decoration.

And I can't bring myself to save up again hoping that maybe I can find another artist who MIGHT be able to bring her to life in the exact right way and maybe finally. FINALLY I can have this one thing in my life.

I guess it'd help for people who dont know jack shit if I actually showed the character on partially Why she'd have to be a christmas miracle.

Its not overly complicated or a really old Beloved OC. She's honestly one of my newer babies. But I made her SPECIFICALLY with the idea of her being my dream doll. And its very. Very silly.

But. This is BB:

I tried to imagine a character thatd be in a cartoon I'd watch as a kid and be VIOLENTLY mad didnt have some sort of doll I could buy, lol. Retro anime, cute and round, robot girl.

To avoid an infodump: she's a little fighting robot. Think medabots or angelic layer. She has a human who she's best friends with and she fights other cute little robot dolls. She talks only in beeps and boops and is 11inches tall (without antannae) and she's silly and I love her.

And she's my dream.

Imagining in my head the anime that I would've adored as a kid, and a doll thats literally her plucked off the screen. Not a barbie in an outfit, not something close enough, but the simplistic cartoony lil goofball.

I know its really. Really silly. Its silly to be caught up in this kind of idea and its silly to get all bent out of shape over and its silly I'm even like.

Putting these thoughts into the world

Feeling like a kid writing a letter to Santa

But thats it. Thats my wish or my dream or whatever. Its selfish. Its so so so selfish to imagine not just putting someone through doll making but making such a weird hard-to-translate-to-3d-space design and potentially having to work with me abunch to make sure she's just right. Without like. Thousands in compensation, lol.

Like I said, im willing to work with and do some adjustments to make her more do-able (fiddle w/ proportions alil, figure out a way to do the joints in a way that still fits her style while being actually moveable, more engineering side than aesthetics obvi lol. I really would love her to be stupid posable).

But i dont think that really probably means much

Idk.

I feel silly and selfish even putting this into the world but hey. Can't hurt to wish on stars and hope for christmas miracles. Right? It's not like I'm gonna go knocking on doors asking for something this batshit, lol.

Like. I wouldnt survive the shame.

If they dont respond I'll die of anxiety n guilt. Getting turned down might hurt even worse because then I'd know for sure they'd read it and probably felt Really Fucking Uncomfortable.

If i was a kid or whatever then maybe it'd be atleast endearing to get that kinda message insteada Just Sad.

No winning. Lol.

Im tired out now and the post-chemo-day agonies are starting to rev up again so I think I'm gonna go lay down now.

[boofts]

have you ever cried so hard you stopped breathing and your chest hurt so bad that you thought you would feel better if maybe you did stop breathing?

im stupid.

an overthinker

insecure

and overall, a hopeless romantic.

my thoughts trap me inside my head, and i spent the whole day trying not to cry at a volleyball camp, thinking im not good enough after i was placed in the lowest group for gameplay.

im good,

arent i?

i always thought i was.

im supposed to be.

but i dont think i ever have been.

i look back and see failure after failure, placed in the lowest group each and every time. i thought i deserved better, i thought i was better.

but maybe i was wrong.

so here i am,

crying in my bed.

clutching the bee swarm simulator plushie my girlfriend bought me for christmas.

it came in a pretty little bag along with the order to not open until december 25th, a necklace matching her own, which i wear all the time, and a card.

i opened it a day early, and it saved my life. because the day before christmas i wanted so very badly to die. i was overthinking, like i always do.

what if instead of a present, it was a breakup letter? and she just wanted to let me down gently, or at least, not in person.

but no, it was a present that saved my life.

a bee swarm simulator plushie with an inside joke i named Zipper, that i squeeze when i feel alone and unloved.

a necklace i wear to think of her, which is constantly.

and a card, that in the moment said everything i needed it to.

but what got me to overthink it in the future was that, for her present i wrote the most heartfelt thing i could think of without flat-out telling her she saved my life. and she did tell me i changed her life (for the better) and she loved me "sososo much", but people can lie, cant they?

she almost never texts first, used to not tell me she loved me back. the last few times we called she said it first, but last night i told her i loved her before we hung up and had to go to bed. no response. just hanging up.

okay,

i mean, no problem really. i told myself i wouldnt overthink things again.

"On a balcony in Italy, I know I won't. But I might."

a line i wrote this Fall.

then today i get back from the volleyball camp, and in a groupchat with two other friends who are talking about their next year schedules.

she says she has summer homework for AISE english next year.

which is weird, because we picked our schedules together and we decided to take English 2 honors together. i checked the test schedule paper i was given, and sure enough. English 2 honors is printed on the paper.

i message my guidance counselor asking to change my schedule to match hers.

am i being annoying?

thats probably being really clingy?

maybe her parents wanted to change it and she just forgot to tell me?

she doesnt tell me many things about her life.

she doesnt love me anymore does she?

so here i am, spending the night listening to a playlist i made a while ago, one i named "Maybe I Should Try Harder" after the Beachbunny song Sports.

one i created because i felt like i was never good enough.

thinking about weve been together for almost a year, and my chest hurts. because maybe i want to grow old with her. and so what if im just a hopeless romantic. but what if she dosent think the same, hasnt thought about it at all, or even worse, just dosent care?

here i am hoping this post gets lost and never gets read by anyone i know, anyone at all.

or maybe im hoping the right person sees it and knows exactly what to do to help me.

i dont know what i want.

maybe i just want her to kiss me, kiss me and tell me she loves me more than i love her.

[aphnatasha]

LISTEN I've been wanting to make them as bjds for a year at least the urge is so strong it's grabbing my neck

Although in my case I want to do the designs I have of them and also I am determined to figure out how to design fat bjds cause I refuse to make my girl Mary thin 😤

I actually have no experience whatsoever with bjd making but I've been watching some videos and I might save to get a bunch of supplies 👀✨

Like part of the reason I'm so excited about it it's because it requires different skills – character design, hairstyling, painting, even sewing!!!! And idk it just brings me joy to be able to create something "out of thin air", so to speak

Okay rant's over wjfhejfhe I wish you happy holidays!!! ✨✨✨

BRO IVE BEEN WANTING TO DO BJD'S FOR AGES its only recently that i kinda want to make the sandersons sbndndndnd. i still wanna do the plushies first cuz im not super great with making things by hand and i dont have the materials to make bjd's of 'em yet. i do have some old dolls, but i get the feeling that if i try to work on them, theyre gonna get really badly messed up

initially i wanted to make the redesigns i have for some of my fave monster high characters so they look more monstery, mostly headmistress bloodgood cuz i am determined to make her look more like a dullahan cuz i have so many thoughts about that in particular and im a lil saddened they never really took that route, but its understandable cuz a) that'd probs take a lot of time to animate and b) dullhahan are actually really terrifying and i dont think they wanted to make her so scary that she'd frighten kids (i feel like if they did go that route, lil kid me wouldve fallen even harder for her than i already did and that is saying something sbdbdn)

i feel like you could probably use some kind of sculpting or modeling clay to add on to the dolls to make them fat, but idk what types of clay would work for that dbbdbd. like, ive seen so many people use clay to sculpt out horns or thicken and/or lengthen a doll's arms or legs, so i dont see why you couldnt do somwthing similar for mary

i swear its something about creating a 3 dimensional thing that feels so exciting and so intrinsicly human, if that makes sense? like, being able to make dolls and figurines and charms and stuff out of clay and puting it together onto something sturdy to make sure it doesnt fall to pieces, something people have done since forever and changed it over time with new materials to work with and new processes to use it just. idk if im maoing a lick of sense, i just woke up shdjdnnf

i dont really have much experience in the sculpting area, but i think thats what makes working with new mediums so much fun. just being able to mess around and learn firsthand what works and doesnt work and learning from that, using your old creations and inspiration for something new. thats part of the reason why i keep a lot of my sketches, even if theyre really old. i always wind up inspired by it, and i wind up recreating the thing with how i do art now, or i try to put it into a new medium i learned as a sort of testament to how much that thing meant to me

aahh, i rambled on too shdjjd. i really wanna make dolls of them now. maybe i should see if my community college has any sculpting classes, that way even if we dont quite learn to make human/human adjacent things, it might give me just the help i need to be able to do it

(⁠ﾉ���◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧ happy holidays!! ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡*⁠.⁠✧

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 39

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[image description: an sac webcomic page. “i’m fine- i- i just want to leave” lewis stutters, hunched in on himself. “okay, let’s go” moon replies, holding her cane with both hands on her lap. the panel angle now showing that she’s floating above the floor, while lewis gets off the couch. meanwhile split second is leaning back and looking over at izumi, the two having a side conversation. “when the fuck did you get there?” izumi asks. “time is my bitch” they reply with a deadpan expression. “that answers nothing, thanks” “you really think you’re going to get anywhere without my help?” parker asks with an angry, feral grin. “you dont need to listen to him-” moon states off screen before being interrupted. “no, really. go ahead, i’ll give you the address, do your best” end id]

the lack of update last week was due to con crunch as i was trying to finish my cosplay for mcm london- i was still fucking about with superglue on the tube there and spend half an hour once inside just going fuck it and stabbing the edge of my armour to just tie it together with string since the contact adhesive wasnt doing it fast enough and the superglue was too runny and the duct tape and masking tape wouldnt work even if i had tried and sewing foam together would probably take too long so stabbing it and tying it together with old hoodie string, other string, and scrap fabric was the best option. yes i had all that on me at the time i was worried and sleep deprived (stayed up until 4/5am working on it)

anyway people did like my cosplay so it worked, pics under cut

i was watching the owl house a month and a bit ago in the background while drawing but i got emotionally attached because my autism snatched that shit up like a dog grabbing something and thinking its play time when you tell him to drop it. anyway i was cosplaying hunter and made a little plushie flapjack. it was. pretty warm in there. also idk if i should make more bird plushies because i did make an attempt to make flapjack with free tutorials or without a pattern and that went badly to i did cave and buy a pattern. but i still have that £9 pattern and plenty of stuffing and way too much scrap fabric

[id: a mostly fullbody selfie taken of my in cosplay in a small tunnel filled with mirrors and neon lights]

[id: a picture taken of myself holding a plushie flapjack]

[id: a selfie taken in cosplay of my masked face holding up plushie flapjack]

[deadxmastreedownthehighway]

to daddy dearest

a happy late birthday to you. i thought of you on your birthday but didnt message you. guess this is my unsent letter to you...

as a child i would naively hope that you would send a private detective to seek for us.. i woild always look at cars parked in front of the schools i would attend. i dreamed of you rescuing us from our mother. i wanted to be saved by you cuz that what dads would do right? i wouldnt be too sure since i was never worth staying back for to raise. no one ever thought i was worth the time. now should i really be as hard on my mother as i am especially since she stayed by my side and fucked me up in the process? i dont know. she made sure to tell me in almost all our fights that you didnt love me. you wanted us gone and aborted.

you never called only when we were 12.. you wanted to add us as dependents on your taxes.. i was secretly excited but you ended the call with my mother soon after.. even my oldest sister would tell me i would be a better child if you were around and that i needed you.. why werent you ever here? i struggled with math. mother would brag how bright you were with math.. she would tell me how many siblings i had in your side.. i was always alone.. i resent you.. even though i cried when i found your email at last and you answered back. it was one of the happiest moments in my life but you didnt allow me to be the greedy child i always wanted to be.. i wanted to be cuddled, comforted and be told everything was going to be alright and that you knew how to fix all of it.. i didnt want to have to build a relationship with another adult.. i wanted to pick up where we last left off when i was 7. i wanted to be a greedy kid.. i didnt to be lectured on what to do with my life.. why didnt you ask me about my fears or if i slept with plushies at night? you missed out on so much.. there was so much to pick up on.. but its never easy with an adult child huh? worse part is your child isnt fine.. it was quite the experience having to disappoint you too.. sometimes i of you too much and it makes me want to bury myself in a hole. i cant handle small talk.. i wanted badly to bond with you but i was the problem.. my expectations were unrealistic.. greedy even. once i saw you were going to provide what i seeked for i left.. i read in many articles about building relationships with a parent as an adult child and i could only think of my 13 year self that would of wanted to meet you. why did i even bother? after the last message on email and how you took so long was the part the stung me deeply.. with my toxic upbringing i assumed the worse.. i assumed it was me to why you stopped massaging.. i shouldnt have pushed beyond that.. when my mother asked i simply told her as if it didnt bother me that you didnt message me until a good while again.. i dont know why but maybe its why i didnt try as hard after when you contacted me after.. i resented you for not being in my life in the first place and after for leaving me again.. i wished emotions were easy to deal with..

surprisingly i felt like an outsider speaking to your other child.. i felt like an outsider speaking to you and listening to you speak of your other kids and even your grandkids.. absurd how you kept in contact with a grandkid in florida instead of with us.. maybe im just being a child with those thoughts.. daddy dearest i hate you and i desire to be with you but i resent you for waiting for your kid to show up to you.. i wish i was mature enough to know how to handle this.. have i met you several years before i would have begged to live with you.. to be saved from my mother.. but i was much too late for that.. i hate being a burden..

[n4th4nzw0rld]

GRIPS YOU BY THE SHOULDERS AND SHAKES YOU/POS chat i dont think yall realize how badly this character brought back my obsession with the silly creatures i wanna get a possum plushie so bad and he makes me wanna do it even more(also thank you this reminded me i need to go back to the glitchy website the google overview told me its free on and keep watching- i got pissed it glitched so much and the time slider thing wasnt very helpful so i gave up)

Fireflies - Possum (Welcome to Willits)

CH01

The sun glared down on me as I dragged my feet one after another. I was warm and tied my jumper around my waist. Despite being winter, the exercise from having to walk 3 miles to the closest town was making me sweat.

My car had broken down, and though I’d waited a while, no cars had driven past for me to flag down - so walking was the only option.

Finally, I arrived in the tiny midway town. Gratefully, I headed toward the mechanic. As I walked up to the garage, old timey music was playing through a beat up stereo. I saw only legs under a car and decided to call out. Sure enough, a body rolled out from underneath the car. A woman appeared, face smeared in black oil and dirt.

“Hi, uh, I was wondering if I could get you to look at my car? It's broken down about 3 miles from here.” She stood up, chewing her gum and glancing me over, but nodded.

“Need a tow, then?” I nodded and she glanced at the wall clock.

“Alright, meet me back here in 30 minutes.” I sighed, relieved and smiled at her thankfully.

I headed for the small gas station I’d passed, two doors down. The bell above the door rang as I entered and beelined straight for the toilet signs. There were a couple others in the store. I paid no mind to them - except one.

His wavy brown hair sat just below his shoulders as he walked toward the bathrooms. He dropped his giant backpack against a wall before he disappeared and I noted that he must be a hitch hiker or something.

As I came out of the bathroom, feeling slightly more refreshed from cleaning myself up, I saw another guy rummaging through the giant pack. I looked around, but the owner was nowhere to be found.

As I watched the guy take out some loose cash and shove it in his pockets, I felt a burst of annoyance in my stomach.

“Hey - is that yours?” My voice was direct and it must’ve startled him. I hated to judge, but this guy looked like a walking douchebag.

“Y-yeah.” He stood tall, but I could tell he was nervous.

“Whatever you took - put it back.” I said firmly. He looked as though he was going to challenge me, but suddenly, the owner appeared.

“You lose something in there?” His expression remained unbothered and I couldn’t help but notice the delicious scent of weed clinging to him.

“I was just checking out the brand.” Douchebag lied and I rolled my eyes.

“You ever heard of karma?” I watched the interaction closely, unable to deny myself the entertainment.

“No, um, it just looked more expensive from over there.” Douchebag continued the lie and before I could say anything, the cute owner pulled out a bunch of crumpled cash, offering them to him.

“Here, I won’t deny the needy.” He kept his tone even, but I saw a flicker of anger in Douchebag’s eyes as I smirked.

“What the shit’s that supposed to mean?” He snapped, taking a step toward us.

Surprisingly, the owner held his arm out slightly, as if protecting me. A taller guy came over and grabbed Douchebag’s arm, apologising to us before dragging him away.

I looked at the wavy haired brunette beside me, noticing his strong facial features and soft eyes.

“I think he took some money from your bag.” I remembered, stepping forward to go after them. He took my wrist softly, stopping me.

“Don’t sweat it. Money’s just another social construct.” He laughed a little, releasing me.

“Doesn’t it bother you that he stole from you?” I asked curiously. He shook his head.

“Nah, nothing bothers me anymore, man. I’ve transcended that way of thinking.” He smiled and I returned one, intrigued and oddly drawn to his calming aura.

“What’s your name?” He asked, thoughtfully staring at me. I wasn’t used to so much eye contact, but his big blue eyes were captivating.

“Ashlyn.” I introduced myself, smiling.

“Possum.” He smiled and I chuckled a little at his name as I shook his hand.

“Like O’Possum?” He nodded, a half smile playing at his lips.

“That’s what it says on my birth certificate. Only I dropped the ‘O’.” He admitted and I nodded, smiling a little as I took his character in. “It was all I could think about… my silent ‘O’.” I smiled and looked away.

“Right. Well, it was nice meeting you, Possum.”

“Yeah, yeah you too.”

I walked around the store, grabbing some more snacks before heading back to the garage to find the mechanic waiting for me.

“Alright, let’s go get your ride.”

The whole car ride, my mind seemed to be preoccupied with curious thoughts of Possum. He was cute, for sure. A stoner, absolutely. He seemed like an interesting person. I secretly hoped I’d run into him again.

[stellawolfearts]

I bet if ever the kids get sick, which I suppose wouldn't happen too often, either Wukong would be the panicking "OMG my poor babey" or the totally chill parent while Macaque panics

oooooh boi i had fun with this one.

Hehe so lets take a look at the parents

one is a seven times over immortal who's only family in EONS has been an immortal god. he might have been a scholar at one time but in modern days she has NO IDE what kind of new diseases or treatments there are, now she could look it all up but that would send her into a 5am spiral down google.

"NEZHA HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT-" "FATHER PLEASE ITS 5AM YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT EVERY OBSCURE AND RARE ILLNESS GOOGLE SHOWS YOU"

Meanwhile, there's Macaque, he is immortal yeah, I also hc when he was on Ffm he helped take care of the young ones but those were all either monkey DEMONS or regular monkeys.

Ofc bc of this he knows how to take care of bb Mk best and why he wants to be his babysitter so badly in the beginning. (look he needs something to do other than plotting revenge. he needs a fucking life and someone other than his ex-(turned partner again) in his life)

then again just like wukong he has no idea what new ailments or diseases have sprouted in the time hes been dead and alive again. he's more aware then wukong is but still, he has no clue if what the kids got is either a common cold, a stomach bug, or something that will end up killing the kids (it wont)

Nezha is immortal but not as immortal as wukong

Mei is mortal-but does live longer bc of the whole dragon thing (she might be immortal bc of the samadhi fire but i have no clue)

Mk is also a mortal(?????) no one actually knows bc of the whole "swk's powers" thing. so its like is he????? did he get ur immortalities or wat????

but because of this Macaque and wukong basically have the same reaction.

they freeze up, they panic for a moment. wukong emmedialty fears the worst and macaque just has no fucking clue what to do, even with mk he just doesnt know what to do. Macaque wants to help but what if he does something wrong? what if he makes it worse? what if he hurts them? what if he makes the little one cry? what ifwhatifwhatifwhatif.

ofc nezha is always there to snap those two out of it, even if hes sick. he'll throw a pillow at them and tell them to snap the fuck out of it. then the younger ones start throwing pillows too and suddenly it's a pillow fight and ohmygod their all idiots/ pos.

sooo yea macaque and wukong panic for a moment but once they snap out of it they do the normal sick stuff but one rule nezha has set in place "do not under any circumstances google it unless i tell you and I swear to the gods if you so much as think about using bing instead"

when Mk and mei were young and wukong and macaque were new to this whole thing they would take the kids to the doctor every time despite nezha insisting its nothing serious and that they just need something to eat, some warm blankets and some rest.

after nezha was proven right time and time again they listened to him finnaly and now they only go if nezha deems it necessary.

after the intitial panic though wukong SPOILS THEM. she will give them anything and everything they need and desire. she will faun over them and make sure they want for nothing while sick, sometimes macaque and nezha needs to stop wukong from getting/making something obscure bc one of the kids in there feverish state requested it.

i cannot tell you how many plushies mei has collected because she was sick and wukong jumped on his nimbus and came back with three in hand and a big smile on her face.

Mac is the more calm one after the panic, hes in the kitchen making something for them to eat (because if wukong tries to put candy or random fruit in the chicken noodle soup at mk/meis request again he will be the sick one) hes doing the laundry with the sick kids clothes, he's taking their temperature. (because wukong will not understand how it works) wukong is the emotional support and macaque is the one who gets the kids what they need while nezha guides the two. please he might be the older brother but they're the parents here.

Mk usually needs someone to snuggle with when he's sick, he doesn't like being alone when he's sick so one of them, usually mei. will snuggle up with him and hold him. even when he's older he grabs one of them and drags them to bed.

Mei is actually the one who got sick the most, and its because of the samadhi fire ring inside of her. its not so much sick as it is a form of heat stroke. of course its not as fatal to her but when she was young, even with a seal over the ring that wukong placed after the fire her little and young body couldnt control the heat of the ring and she would heat up much more then the average dragon. she was burning hot to the touch, wukong and nezha were the only ones able to touch her because she would get too hot. this was one of the only times wukong wouldn't panic because he knows the cause and how to treat it. they basically run a bath of cold water and they cast some ice spells. not normal ice that would melt immediately. so instead they keep filling the tub with magic ice, don't give her anything hot to eat and she'll be fine within the day. when mei gets older (24) these heat strokes slow down more and more and now that mei constantly uses her fire to beat up bad guys the excess magic buildup that caused the strokes no longer happen. She's barely gotten another stroke like that in the past seven years, it's only happened like three times.

Nezha....you'd think because he has the braincell he'd take care of himself better "I'm fine" "I'm fine "I have things to do, paperwork to finish" "(some random god) requested a meeting and I have to-"

"go to bed"

"go to bed"

"go to bed"

"go to bed"

If it was up to nezha he would be efficient during his sick time but nooooo, the only way to get him to fuckin relax is to throw his little siblings at him, they pull some puppy dog eyes shit and then hold him and they all fall asleep together.

one thing that happens all the time after a sick day is that everyone crawls into the same bed with the sick one in the middle and they fall asleep in one big cuddle pile.

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Arcade - Komaeda x Reader

ミ☆  Just a silly thing I wrote about an arcade employee being baffled while Komaeda clears out all the machines lol ミ☆ I’ve been feeling kind of down about my writing so i just wanted to do something fun. It’s not very good haha. I’m tired and i can’t write good asjfkakd

Night shift at the arcade is usually pretty quiet. Most people start leaving around dinner time and while there are usually still some hardcore gamers lurking around until the AM, most of them only come in on Friday’s or weekends. So the job is usually easy breezy, most nights you lean up on the counter and browse the internet on your phone until your shift ends.

Tonight though, you have been acutely watching as this guy moves from machine to machine. Absolutely clearing them out. You’ve never seen anything like it. Presently, you are crouched behind a claw machine filled with Hello Kitty plushies as this guy slips two bucks into the Big Bass Wheel cabinet. Your eyes drift over to the last cabinet he used, the Wizard of Oz coin pusher. It is empty , you have never seen that happen in the whole time you’ve worked here. You weren’t even sure it could happen.

The guy spins the wheel, it spins and spins and spins. Jackpot. Your eyes narrow, a jackpot isn’t too uncommon, it honestly isn’t even worth that many tickets, but then he nonchalantly slides in another two dollars and hits jackpot again . This is starting to get suspicious.

The machine is spitting out tickets now, so many tickets. Even the guy looks surprised, you are definitely surprised. Two jackpots is not worth that many tickets, but they just keep coming and coming. Machine fault? Must be. The guy looks almost resigned at this point, sighing unhappily as the tickets keep spewing out, like they’re wasting his time and not like this was a superhuman feat of luck. Then, the machine starts smoking.

“Shit!” You hiss, jumping up from your hiding place behind the claw machine and dashing over to the guy before anything catches on fire. You’ve caught him by surprise, he probably didn’t realise you were following him around, “out of the way, please!”

He ducks out of the way, pulling his armfuls worth of tickets along with him as you switch the arcade cabinet off at the wall. The machinery inside stops whirring and the smoke calms down. You wipe your forehead with the back of your hand, you’ve never seen a machine fault this badly before, you were probably going to need to file an indecent report. What a pain.

“You okay?” You ask the guy. He is a lot taller up close, and the shock of messy white hair on his head only makes him seem taller. He sways like a palm tree in the breeze, clutching onto his massive wad of tickets for dear life.

“I’m sorry. I broke your machine.”

Oh...his voice is softer than you had expected it would be. The lights from a nearby Daytona cabinet are reflecting in his green eyes. You swallow, “You didn't break anything, machine fault, it happens sometimes.”

His eyes drift away from you and over to the cabinet, the smoke has stopped now, it doesn't look like there was too much damage, but he looks very upset about it anyway.

“Hey, seriously, dont worry about it.” You give him an awkward pat on his forearm, “The machines in here are really old, stuff like this happens all the time.”

“Oh...ah…” He bites his lip, “If you’re sure…”

You smile, “Yeah, don't even sweat it. You can keep the tickets by the way, once they're out of the machine it's a nightmare to get them back in again, so consider it an apology for almost setting you on fire.”

He laughs weakly, “Thank you.”

“Hey, uh…” You start, not so subtle eyeing his ticket collection. A decent chunk of it was from that Big Bass Wheel malfunction, an already exorbitant number was won legit. More than you had ever seen anyone win before, “are you a cabinet master?”

“A...what?”

“Like, you know all the sweet spots on the machines. Technically not cheating, but not entirely legal either.”

His eyes widen, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” You shake your head at him, “You just won a lot of tickets is all. I’ve never seen someone win that many tickets.”

“I’m just really lucky. It’s all i'm good at, honestly.” He’s fiddling with the tickets in his arms, “My friend’s birthday is coming up and i'm trying to win her that Sailor Moon statue.”

It is true that there is a coveted Sailor Moon statue amongst the arcade’s prize collection. It’s huge, beautifully painted and according to your boss, incredibly rare . It’s been sitting there on the shelf for god knows how long, still tight in it’s shrinkwrap. Generally the most any player is able to afford is three or four sticky hands and a glow in the dark spider ring, but this guy is getting tantalisingly close.

You cross your arms and smirk at him, “You’re really that lucky?”

“Most of the time.”

“Okay then. You’re going to play Monster Drop next, it's the hardest cabinet we have.” You start heading over to the machine in the back of the arcade, it’s huge, you always forget how huge it is. The guy is diligently following behind you, shoulders hunched like he’s trying to make himself seem smaller. The pile of tickets in his arms rustling as he walks, “I’ve never seen anyone get a monster jackpot on this thing. Also my boss filled it with a bunch of different sized balls, so it's basically impossible to get a standard jackpot too, even after practicing at other arcades.”

“Hm. Is that really fair?”

You shrug a shoulder, “Nope. It’s big and loud, so lots of people want to play it and Boss doesn't want too many people winning. there's a catch though, raise the difficulty and you also raise the ticket payout. So if you manage to beat it, you'll be able to afford Sailor Moon.”

The current ticket payout is displayed in flashing red lights, 72,483 . With every failed attempt at hitting the monster jackpot the payout just gets higher and higher, those tantalising numbers draw in more kids hoping to be the one who gets lucky. A number that big means the cabinet has never been won, a smart arcade goer knows that a number like that means stay away.

“How do I play?” He asks, dropping his ticket collection on the ground at his feet.

“Ah, it’s deceptively simple.” You grab his hand and tug him over to the machine, gesturing up at where the balls drop down from, “You just need to press the button to let out a ball, and that’s literally it. The base of the machine spins around to make it harder to get the balls in. Monster jackpot is in the middle, so you would think a straight drop down would jackpot you every time but-”

He smirks wryly, “it’s never that easy is it?”

“Of course not! We’d never make any money if it was.”

He laughs to himself, pulling another coin out of his pocket and clinking it into the machine, “Ah, only one turn?”

You hold up a finger, “Just the one.”

He laughs again, “Brutal.”

“Very.” You take a step back to give him room to familiarise himself with the machine. Most people like to observe it from a few angles, take some time, watch at least one cycle before using up their one shot, “Good luck.”

He turns to you and smiles, “Thanks, but like i said, this is the one thing i'm good at.” He pushes the button, he isn't even looking at the machine, the rotating base hasn't even finished half a cycle. This guy is ballsy.

Despite his gumption, the ball falls a little short of the monster jackpot, “Aw, bad luck-” you start saying, but then it starts bouncing. Once off the base, three times off the sides, up high into the air and then plonk . Straight into the monster jackpot. All you can do is stare. Not only did he get the jackpot, he got it in a rigged machine while he wasn't even looking .

He laughs politely, the sound barely audible of the cabinet’s furious ringing bells and sirens signalling an impossible feat just happened here, everyone look! The tickets have started dispensing, with over 70k to print, it's going to be a long wait, “Jeez, that was scary. I almost thought my luck had run out there!”

He looks completely relaxed as he starts folding the fresh tickets into the neatest pile he can manage, “Are you a god or something?”

“Huh?” He says, blinking down at you, “That’s such a strange thing to ask me.”

“You just beat Monster Drop without looking . I’ve seen professional cabinet masters come in here and still lose after examining the machine for a good two hours!”

“Oh, no need to be impressed. I didn't actually do anything.” He smiles sadly and continues collecting his tickets, “It’s not really much of a talent, but i suppose it comes in handy sometimes.”

You clap a palm to your forehead, unable to believe what you are hearing, “You’re going to have enough tickets for the Sailor Moon statue and enough leftover for like...unlimited sticky hands.”

He taps a finger to his lips, “Oh! I would like some sticky hands.”

“How many?”

His brow creases as he considers it, “Three or four, i guess.”

“Three or-” you start laughing, “Buddy, i could pour the whole box into your bag if you wanted.”

“I don't think i need that many sticky hands, but it's very kind of you to offer.”

“We also have glow in the dark spider rings, and a robust selection of slinkies. Oh! If you really want to splurge we have a pair of slippers that resemble a character from Rick and Morty.”

He grimaces, “I would prefer the slinkies.”

You hear the arcade cabinet’s ticket dispenser finally come to a stop, and despite his good natured effort to collect the tickets in a neat pile, they are still all bunched up around his ankles. You are about to ask him another question when you quickly realise that the Monster Drop machine is now also smoking.

He sighs, “I should have known.”

You don't have time to look into that comment, you are too busy scrambling around to the back of the machine so you can turn the power off at the wall. Much like last time, you catch it before anything actually catches on fire. This has been a very eventful day.

“Hey, uh-” you start awkwardly, pulling yourself up from the ground and moving to help the guy contend with his ticket pile, “I finish in like half an hour...if you need help carrying your miscellaneous arcade prizes back to your car or whatever…”

He blinks at you as you both reach the prize counter and deposit the monstrous ticket collection onto the bench, “I should be okay on my own...but if you want to come I wouldn't mind, though I can’t guarantee I won’t set anything else on fire…” he chuckles nervously and you give him a quizzical look.

You do want to go with him, you aren't sure if it’s just a morbid curiosity about his luck with the arcade machines, or a fascination with the soft halo of white hair falling into his eyes, but you want to get to know him better, “I’ll come with you. You don’t have anywhere near enough fingers for all the glow in the dark spider rings I’m about to give you.” You say as you round the counter and start organising his tickets into more manageable piles.

He smiles, “that does sound like a good idea. I don’t want to drop any of my brand new sticky hands, after all.” He leans forward on the counter, blinking up at you. He’s got really pretty eyelashes, “I’m Nagito Komaeda, in case you were wondering.”

You laugh, “Nice to meet you, Nagito. Now give me 20 minutes to count all your damn tickets.”

[mollydollyjournals]

Theres no point even going into the shit that's actually going on. But yesterday it had me really upset by the end. Completely exhausted and broken. And then I woke up today on not enough sleep and had to deal with even more of it.

My weight was actually good today. It was back down again. Lower than before. So I was going to eat - not a lot but something. Then everything happened and there was no way I could eat even if I wanted to. I drank some fruit juice so it's not like I've had zero calories. But I cant handle food today.

I've been so upset and hurt in so many ways. My anxiety is so bad I cant stand it. I have so many physical symptoms and they're making me lose weight so fast. Im glad I'm losing weight but the point was to feel okay... I cant stand feeling like this. I'm barely trying to do anything to lose weight. I'd rather feel okay and make an effort.

I need a hug so badly. So so badly. I could wait a few hours and see if I can get one later. But that's a few hours. And probably not a good one either. I should sleep. It's just after 1am. I should go to sleep, catch up on what I missed last night, and see if I can get some support tomorrow. But I'm so fucking anxious. My heart wont slow down. I'm shaking. I'm sweating. I can just about breathe if I focus. I dont know how I can fall asleep. I need reassurance and safety for that but I cant have it until maybe later and I dont know if I'll even get it then and I dont know what to do.

Normally the only way for me to get through a situation like this is to somehow pass the time. So I'm fairly sure I wont sleep early. I dont know. If I could fall asleep quickly it would be a good way to pass the time. But I cant. If I lie down and try to sleep I'll just be stuck with my thoughts and my anxiety. I really wish I could just go to sleep. I really wish I wasnt alone. I dont know if I should go bring a cat up here or sleep in a different room or a different place on the bed or cover myself in plushies or what. I need to do something or I'm just going to spiral and keep spiralling. I just dont know what.

[cloudbeom]

when you get sick | TXT

group: tomorrow x together

note: enjoy !!

Choi Yeonjun

-would no doubt give you the smirk and sing an ‘i told you so’ because the only reason you had got sick was because you insisted not to take his jacket when it was obviously too cold outside to just be wearing a tshirt. 

-but afterwards, he tries (and fails) to hide the fact that he's worried

-would call his agency just to tell them that he wouldn’t be coming because he would be doing very important business

-and by important business, it means he would practically force soup and medicine down your throat if he had to and nurse you back to health.

-”eat,” he orders, and you would send him an eye roll, plainly agreeing just so he would stop worrying as if you were on your deathbed, "see? that wasn't so hard!" he says happily, booping your nose with the edge of the spoon, making your face scrunch up.

-"cute!" he laughs, a fox-like smile appearing, grabbing a tissue to dab at the corners of your mouth.

-after you were stuffed and took your medicine, he would let you rest. sleeping beside him, he would run his hands gently into your locks, savoring the small moment of your vulnerability. happy that he was the only one there to see it. 

Choi Soobin

-”you sure you don't need anything else?” he asks sweetly, a small frown on his lips when he peeks through the ajar door. hearing you cough before you reply only made him frown deeper.

-”i’m okay, soobinie,” you try to reassure him, “dont worry about me,”

-but how could he not, when you were hacking up your lungs so badly he could hear it from the living room?

-he would definitely decide to make you food after you insist for fifteen times that you don't have to go to the hospital. it was concerning when you hear him say he wants to cook, considering you have never seen him cook in your months of dating. 

-but everything turns out well when you wake up to the smell of soup in lieu of a burning kitchen. 

-absolutely insists on feeding you, don't you test him. 

-cuddle sessions are in order afterwards, despite the amount of times you say it's too dangerous for him to be close to you as he could get sick as well. 

-"rest well, y/n ah," he whispers into your hair, having your head pressed comfortably snug against his chest, his hands coming up to stroke at your back.

-you fall into a comfortable sleep afterwards, waking up only to down more medicine before feeling completely better. 

Choi Beomgyu

-”look who's the sick one now~” he teases in a sing song tune, “so sad~” he adds, pinching both of your cheeks and kissing each one, then letting go with a smug grin, “don't worry, i’ll save your very poor, dying soul,”

-he would literally make it a big deal because you had been nagging at him for not properly taking care of his health, and now it's your turn to get sick. 

-when in reality, it was him who got you sick. (but you wouldn't tell him that, letting him enjoy the fun before you whoop his ass once you're better) 

-sets medicine and a glass of water on the nightstand by your bed and an alarm for you to take them; but ends up forgetting. 

-"I don't understand how this is supposed to heal me," you say, voice off with his clogged nose, "mario kart?" 

-"you said you couldn't sleep!" beomgyu defends himself and his mario kart, having his arms wrapped around your heated body, a blanket wrapping the two of you like a couple's burrito, "come on, let's play one round, okay?" 

-one round turns to two, and three, and in the end you find it's 12 in the morning and the next day the both of you fall sick. 

-"you know, this is your fault," you say, laying beside him as poor taehyun was now tending to the both of your idiotic selves. 

Kang Taehyun

-"you feeling any better?" he asks softly, sitting in the bed and pressing a kiss on the side of your forehead. you try to answer him, but a cough rips through your throat, and taehyun only glances at you with concern. 

-he would definitely be worried, but he knows that worrying won't heal you. so he decides to spend the whole day off just to put all his attention on you. 

-would not let you do any work. if you wanted the remote and he was asleep? wake him up. if there was delivery and you were at the couch by the door? call him. 

-brushes his hand over your bangs to feel your forehead when you're asleep, and wakes you up to eat your pills accordingly. 

-brings you salad but you'd refuse to eat so adamantly that he ends up giving in (albeit reluctantly) to your request of pizza

-"this really isn't healthy," he mumbles when he sees you eating pizza on the bed, the bed he had just washed the sheets of. your innocent smile and red nose was the only thing making him soft today, so he decided against making you stop and eat actual food to join you and give you a sympathetic look. 

-because the next minute, you were throwing the contents out of your stomach into the toilet, and taehyun could only sigh, knowing this was going to be a long day. 

Hueningkai

-when he gets the text message that you were sick, you bet he'll be there in front of the door with a bag so big you would think he was moving in

-"what… is all this?" you sniffled, and kai pushes you back inside.

-"snacks!" he says, pouring the contents onto your dining table. and a lot is such an understatement- you were somewhat convinced he had bought the whole store. 

-of course, he would take his plushies with him. they were his guardians, so what kind of lover would he be if he didn't bring them for you?

-"are you comfortable?" he'd murmur when you're both in bed, snug yet probably too close for someone who could spread diseases and potentially get the other sick. 

-but despite that, you reply with a nod, proceeding to nuzzle into the crook of his neck as he puts on a movie, the arms he had looped around your waist over the duvet tightening when he feels your heavy head falling onto his shoulder, the show lulling you to sleep before it even properly started.

-"sleepy already?" he whispers teasingly, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of your head and running his hand down your arms, letting you sleep in his arms.

-it would be more chaotic if it was him who was sick, so thankfully you were very much pliant in taking your pills than he was

[pixieminutes]

Purpose | SCB (2)

genre: angst, slight smut, fluff

members: reader x changbin, bang chan, han jisung, lee felix

warning: none

read part 1 here

“i can’t believe you’re six now! you’re such a big girl!” your mum exclaimed, playing with your hair.

“will i get art on my arm, like you mummy?” you asked, staring up at her, “you said you were six-years-old.”

“of course you will! soon,” she smiled.

and sure enough it came soon. you awoke the next morning, your arm covered. it had notepads and microphones as well as small pastries and cakes weaved in between trees. underneath, the words you cursed for the rest of your life were written.

‘until we meet, i am unable to be happy. until you fall in love with me, i am unable to laugh.’

changbin sighed loudly, walking into the shop and falling onto the sofa underneath the window.

“calm down edge lord,” chan said from his work station, seeing his friend’s sadness painted on his face, “what is it?”

julia was sat on the bed, chan sat next to her on the stool, sketching things.

“i have a secret but none of you– and i mean none of you can tell anyone, okay?” changbin sighed, sitting up and looking from chan, to julia, to jisung.

the three nodded, now intrigued.

“i’ve found my soulmate,” changbin sighed, burying in his face in his hands.

when no one spoke, he looked up, chan and julia’s eyebrows were both raised, jisung’s mouth hung open.

“changbin, th-that’s amazing!” jisung exclaimed.

“no, no it’s not!” changbin groaned, laying back down, “she doesn’t know.”

“then tell her!” julia exclaimed.

“it’s not that easy,” changbin sighed, “she’s not in love with me. i saw her tattoo today, it’s still there.”

“and yours isn’t?” chan asked.

changbin shook his head, taking off his jacket so everyone could see the dainty name in between the other patterns. y/n.

jisung’s gasped slightly, “y/n?”

changbin nodded, holding in his tears.

jisung sighed, nodding as he came and crouched beside his older friend, “it’s gonna be okay changbin, we can figure something out.”

“jisung, do you know what my soulmate connection is?” changbin sighed, sitting up.

“being emo?” chan asked.

changbin glared at the boy as julia began to laugh.

“it’s that,” changbin sighed, motioning to the laughing girl, “i can’t laugh until she falls in love with me. a-and you two were right, until i met her, i was unable to be happy.”

“but now she’s got purpose in everything she does,” chan said.

“and sees beauty in the world,” jisung finished.

“i just want to laugh,” changbin breathed, the tears that had been in his eyes since he left your house, now pouring out.

jisung sighed, sitting next to him and rubbing his back comfortingly, “i know.”

“i just want to laugh, jisung,” changbin cried, “i want to laugh so badly.”

___________

“good day!” felix smiled, skipping into the shop and throwing his bag into the back room, putting on his apron.

you giggled, “good morning felix. don’t forget it’s saturday.”

“i did not, and i even got our little friends some gifts!” felix exclaimed, going for his bag and laying out the small plushies on the counter.

you laughed, shaking your head, “you do realise they’re the same age as us, right?”

felix shrugged, turning to door as the bell rang, “hello!”

changbin smiled, giving a small wave as your breath caught in your throat. why was he back? wasn’t he wary of you? now he knew the truth. now he knew how sadness radiated from you.

“hey,” changbin said, “can i get an iced vanilla latte?”

felix nodded, “of course. that’ll be £3.00.”

changbin handed him the money and waved at you. you hadn’t realised you had been staring, beginning to blush, you wave back.

felix laughed, looking at you as he went to make changbin’s latte.

“you alright?” changbin smiled, “i finished the design and was thinking we could do the first round of your tattoo tomorrow morning? or are you busy?”

“i’m sorry, sunday morning and lunch time are usually quite busy,” you said, biting your lip.

“that’s alright,” changbin smiled, “our shop closes at 6pm tomorrow, why don’t you come by then?”

you nodded, “okay. see you then, bin.”

“i’ll text you, okay?” changbin smiled, waving as he walked out.

you flopped against the counter once he was out of sight, felix running his hands through your hair, “what’s that about?”

your heart felt as though it was about to burst out your chest as you looked where changbin had just been, sighing, “i have no idea.”

__________

“hello y/n!” jisung smiled, he had his bag packed on his shoulder and julia was turning the sign on the door to say ‘closed’, “here for changbin?”

you nodded, looking around the shop, “yeah, he’s here, right?”

changbin came out from a room at the back of the store, “oh, y/n. you’re here!”

you smiled, waving as he beckoned you over. your little legs waddled over, making changbin smile.

as you sat on the chair, you watched changbin organise everything, intrigued.

“bye guys!” jisung exclaimed, “changbin, i trusg you to lock up.”

“cool,” changbin responded.

“bye jisung!” you exclaimed, not taking your eyes off changbin’s hands.

“bye bean,” jisung laughed.

“you alright?” changbin asked, glancing up at you.

you blushed, nodding as you finally looked to his face, “i’ve never gotten a tattoo before.”

changbin nodded, shrugging, “it’s fine, you can trust me.”

you smiled, “don’t worry. i do.”

changbin looked up at you so the two of you made eye contact. it was kind of awkward and made you blush until your cheeks were so hot you had to look away.

“do you wanna see the design?” changbin asked, reaching for his notebook.

“no, i want a blind tattoo,” you said, before laughing at changbin’s confused face, “i’m joking! show me!”

changbin smiled, shaking his head as he opened his notebook. he turned to a page with the heading ‘y/n’.

it was simple, but it was one of the most beautiful designs you’d seen and so you. so much so, your breath caught in your throat when you laid your eyes upon it.

“changbin, i-it’s perfect!” you chuckled, looking at it in awe.

“so you’re ready for me to do it now?” he asked hesitantly.

“yes! oh my god, i’m so excited,” you laughed, changbin smiling at your excitement.

“okay, i’m gonna need your arm then,” changbin said as you eagerly gave him the arm that wasn’t covered with a soulmate tattoo.

he put on some gloves and cleansed your arm before stenciling on the design.

“i’m not working tomorrow, so it doesn’t matter how late this goes,” changbin said.

you nodded, humming, “me neither.”

changbin smiled, glancing up at you before looking back down to his work, “so… what do you think your soulmate’s like?”

“honestly?” you said, sighing, “i’ve got no idea. because the me from a couple weeks ago, is not the me you know today. hey, it’s been since i’ve met you!”

you laughed while changbin just smiled politely, nodding.

your laughter died down as you stared at changbin. his face was long, but it suited him. his eyes thin and his nose long and straight. his black hair fell over his face, but not enough for it to interfer with his vision. his arm muscles showed as he worked, tensing and untensing.

oh god.

___________

“how much is it?” you asked, getting your purse out your bag.

changbin waved his hand, dressing and wrapping up your arm, “nothing. it’s on me.”

“wh-what?! no! changbin i can—“

“i was the one who told you to get a tattoo,” changbin said, shrugging, “if i then asked you to pay, i’m sure that’d be some kind of illegal.”

you smiled, pulling changbin into a hug, “thank you bin.”

changbin returned the action and the two of you stayed like that for slightly longer then planned, becoming lost in changbin’s scent, changbin becoming lost in yours.

“bye then,” you breathed, pulling away and hopping off the bed.

“wait,” changbin spoke, standing up and looking down so you were eye-to-eye.

he didn’t say anything else, but from the very slight movement of his head, you knew where this was going.

changbin swallowed thickly as his lips edged closer to yours. finally, you just nodded, smashing your lips against his to finally continue what he wanted. and god, it was good.

his lips were soft and plump, devouring yours in a way that told you that he’d definitely done this before, but not too much. perfectly.

you started kissing down his jaw and down his neck. on his neck was a trail of tattoos, like a part of the milky way, trailing down behind the neck line of his t-shirt. you pulled it down slightly to kiss down further, the black material straining further than it already was over his thick arms and chest.

changbin paused as you came up and kissed him on the lips again, moaning against yours, “y/n.”

you were suddenly snapped into reality, breathing heavy as you stared at him, “changbin, we... we can’t do this.”

“wh–“ he paused, nodding, “no, you- you’re right. um, make sure to keep your arm wrapped up until tomorrow morning.”

you nodded, hopping down off the bed and waving awkwardly as you began to walk out the shop.

“y/n,” he called, waving also, “i hope you know, whoever they are, your soulmate doesn’t deserve you.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, laughing and walking out the shop.

upon reaching your apartment building, you ran straight up to your apartment and straight into your bed.

your arm was still sensitive as you leaned over to touch it, but the memory was more painful. why were you feeling this way about changbin?!

you’d known he was attractive since the moment you met him, so why was it affecting you now? something, though you weren’t sure what, had planted this idea that changbin was the one you needed inside of your head.

but what if he was?

you sighed, shaking your head, turning over and closing your eyes, too tired to take your clothes or make-up off.

your phone pinged and you sighed once again, reaching for it.

3 new message(s)

binnie🖤 - hope you like the tattoo x

binnie🖤 - i’m sorry for what i said about your soulmate

binnie🖤 - i just dont think i’m worthy

__________

you woke up to your alarm, groaning you smacked it off and rolled over. your arm felt like it was on fire as you’d been sleeping on it all night.

you sighed and sat up, slowly making your way to the bathroom where you looked at yourself in the mirror. you peeled off the hoodie you’d been wearing for the last 24 hours and could have fainted then and there.

the swirl of colours that once filled up your arm was now gone, replaced with one word.

‘changbin’.

“no, no, no, no, no! changbin!” you exclaimed, scrambling out the bathroom and pulling on a new hoodie.

the texts made sense now. the questions and the extra days spend with you. his sadness and his inability to laugh. it all made sense.

“changbin!” you shouted, breathless as you reached the tattoo parlor.

“you must be y/n! changbin’s not here right now,” julia smiled, “the boys are coming in a bit though, so I can take a message?”

“no,” you cried, “i need to see changbin now.”

“okay, i can give you his address?” julia offered.

uou nodded eagerly as julia scribbled down a postcode on the back of one of 3racha’s business card.

“thank you,” you breathed, typing the postcode into your phone and running to your new destination.

people were giving you weird looks, some swearing after you, but you didn’t care. as soon as you reached changbin’s, you ran up the steps and knocked on the door.

a tired looking jisung opened the door, “y/n?”

“jisung, where’s changbin?!” you cried, “please, please dear—“

“he’s sleeping,” jisung said, “what’s the rush for?”

“which one’s his room?” you asked, walking in the house, it was messy, though that was surely expected from three teenage boys.

“yes, of course! welcome, bean, come on in,” jisung sighed.

“jisung, i’m having none of that,” you said, rolling up your sleeve, “where is his room?”

jisung’s mouth hung open before turning into a smile, “the one with the painted door.”

you breathed out a sigh of relief, thanking jisung as you turned and saw the painted door. you took a deep breath, turning the handle and walking in.

changbin was laying in his bed, scrolling through his phone, no shirt on as he looked up at you.

“um– i– there’s a reason why— i, um, i—“

changbin laughed, and you thought you could nearly cry, approaching him and flinging yourself against his chest, rapping your arms tightly around him as though he was going to disappear any second.

“changbin, you’re so worthy. if anything? i’m not worthy! i made your life a misery and i—“

“y/n,” changbin chuckled, “did you choose that? no. and it’s not like your life was any happier.”

you began to cry, burying your face in his shoulder.

“stop crying,” changbin chuckled, holding your face in his hands, “this is suppose to be happy, remember?”

“how long have you known?” you asked, sniffling.

“a few days,” changbin shrugged.

“and you didn’t tell me?!” you cried, burying your face in his chest again.

“y/n, you weren’t in love with me until last night,” changbin laughed, “and now look! i can’t stop laughing!”

hee was right, since the moment you’d seen him, he’d been speaking with chuckles and laughs. it suddenly dawned on you how much this meant to him.

“you’re my soulmate, y/n, and i can’t be more thankful to have found you,” changbin smiled.

“changbin,” you breathed, beginning to sob again as changbin held you tighter, “i love you so much. you brought so much purpose to my life.”

“and you brought happiness to mine,” changbin chuckled, kissing you on the head, “i love you too, princess.”

[msiopao]

Taeseong with the Members

KOREAN BIG MINION

constantly teases joong with his height

joong keeps teasing him with his constant squinting

feeds into joong’s minion fascination and always buys anything minion tae sees

tae always calls him ‘appa’ and proves his point as joong is always having to drag him home from the studio

‘yah, enough with composing. the computer is making your eyesight worse’

calls joong ‘leader-nim’ and pesters him to death

‘leader-nim!’ ‘lEAdEr-Nim!’ ‘LEADER-NIM!’

‘wHAT tAESeoNg?!’

‘hi’

their long times in the studio made them really close and when tae gets into it, he GETS into IT

deep talks

the only person who can make tae open up

tae isnt emotional but tears up a little whenever joong reminds him that he’s always enough and completes ateez

‘min taeseong, im not talking to you as a leader, but as a brother. even when you think you’re dragging ateez down or lacking, you’re not. in fact, you always push us and you’re the glue that keeps us together. we are family and we never leave family behind.’

TOOTHLESS

tae always clings to hwa like a koala

calls him ‘eomma’

absolutely HATES tae’s smoking habits

‘YAH! MIN TAESEONG! if you’re going to smoke, do it away from the building!’

‘b-but, i’m in the,,,, balcony?’

‘get that AWAY FROM HERE, YOU HEAR?!’

helping hwa cook is tae and him’s bonding time

tae is constantly wowed by how handsome seonghwa is

number one seonghwa stan

favorite movie is How to Train Your Dragon because toothless looks like seonghwa

that one wave fancam of seonghwa? 

tae has seen it millions of times

in their vlives, seonghwa is always seen patting tae’s head and runs his fingers through his hair

always the first one to notice that tae’s down and when he’s not talking, seonghwa tells joong immediately

‘taeseong-ie acts like he’s so cool and manly all the time but he’s actually the biggest softie i know.’

EMMA WATSON FANBOY

sat through the Harry Potter movies and Beauty and the Beast movies for Emma Watson

awkward line 

clowns him a lot

‘uRi sAGuiLKKA?!’

‘istg child if you DONT STOP’

absolutely adores his birthmark

hates it when the makeup covers it because its precious and part of yeosang that’s being hidden from the world

‘first his lines now his beauty mark?’

they initially didnt get along since they both had kinda cold personalities but became close after that

tae loves to hear his voice and tae looks forward to the day that he gets more lines

yeosang tried to teach tae how to skate but tae just seems to never know how to balance

like seonghwa, tae gets so blown away with how beautiful yeosang is

tae tries not to stand between yeosang and seonghwa bc the amount of attractiveness and talent they radiate

‘we all have that but they just seem to radiate it more,, is it the increased handsomeness?’

tae always hugs him and stuff but cringes whenever yeosang so much as wraps an arm around his shoulders

‘seong is very weird. he loves to give affection but when its given back, he just has this face of discomfort. there’s no equality with him.’

HARRY POTTER STAN

harry potter fanboys

these two have Harry Potter marathons constantly

tae loves literature and books and finding someone else who likes harry potter in his group really made him happy

they’re the moodmakers of the group and are always hyper together

tae thinks mingi and yunho are the best dancers so he always tries his best to match to their level

both absolutely hate to wake up early and are by far the laziest members in the morning

poor san who has to wake them up and drag them out of bed

hides tae’s cigs and lighters and sometimes, throws them out

‘i swear i put it here. yunho, did you see it?’

*yunho shaking his head with an angelic innocent face*

tae’s not stupid tho so he knows it’s yunho throwing them out

ends up getting really angry w him and just,,,,

chaos

their room has a bunk and a twin bed and yunho sometimes steals tae’s bed and tae just letting him have it and sleep in the bottom bunk

kinda tiny so he loves wearing yunho’s sweaters 

‘tae and I are very similar so we do the same things and share everything like our clothes and bed. he doesnt like it when another member does it but since we were classmates in school, he’s comfortable with me.’

MOUNTAIN

absolutely ADORES his smile

i mean,,, look at that

tae loves to poke his dimples and tae just breaks out into giggles when san tries to bite his finger

shiber is their adopted child

whenever tae or san is feeling down, a plushie fixes everything

thats why san has so many of them

1/3 of yutaesan room

the devil gang gang

it was san first and tae got really fascinated and tried to mimick him

ended up perfecting it

rip atiny

san’s low self-esteem always made tae sad so he is always telling him how perfect and talented he is

but san also tries to give it back which never works since tae is a witty little demon

perfect example:

‘how is the most beautiful person in the world today?’

‘i dont know, choi san, how are you today?’

*blubbering nonsense*

tae dies a little inside everytime choi san makes cute little noises

‘CHOI SAN, say purple again’

affection and skinship 24/7

‘if min taeseong was a girl, i’d marry him on the spot.’

ICANNOTENGLISHI

look how perfect this man is sjikfdhfjd

N E ways

this tol boi makes tae feel real intimidated and scared

when they first met, tae actually tried to distance himself from mingi

had this scary vibe and aura from him

but when mingi laughed and giggled after mingi made a sarcastic remark

it was over,,

tae used to love piggyback rides from him but stopped when he had a back problem

instead just constantly backhugs him

when they were in kq fellaz, tae always stayed behind w mingi to practice some more

tried to teach him english but gave up because mingi couldnt stop laughing at tae

‘the way you speak it is just so funny!’

as a fellow rapper, tae is constantly wowed with mingi and has this small smile whenever he raps

deep voice for D A Y S

in australia, tae went with him to get medicine and wanted to help him badly but was too busy laughing 

another affection victim

‘i remember when tae was still this short little dude but now he’s almost my height. what have they been feeding them?’

GIGGLES

laughter and giggles 24/7

woo gives tae cheek kisses all the time and tae gags

but tae does the same thing to him

thinks grey-haired woo is the superior form of the perfection called jung wooyoung

shares the same adoration for BTS 

while woo likes jimin, tae loves taehyung

the rare times that tae gets drunk, woo is the only one he listens to

‘yah, mingi, call wooyoung. he needs to get him to bed’

‘wOoYOUnG?! WHERE?!’

atiny loves it during fanmeets that tae and woo sing together since tae trained to be a vocal and woo loves his voice

tae does whatever he can to make woo laugh 

addicted to his laugh

tae actually met woo’s parents and woo’s mom loves tae

whenever woo does anything sexy, tae just cringes and turns away

jung wooyoung say my name era is tae’s death

‘JUNG WOOYOUNG!!!’

tae just love wooyoung

periodt

‘even though we have a long schedule or practice, seeing tae makes everything more bearable.’

APPLE

TERRIFIED

jongho scares all of his hyungs but scares tae the most

when tae first saw him break an apple, his eyes practically bugged out of his head

refuses to go to the gym with jongho bc this boy is ripped and makes tae feel terrible

took tae a while to actually get used to him

now, tae squishes his cheeks and just hugs him very tight

‘my baby!!’

like how na jaemin is to park jisung

he stresses tae out sometimes 

tae constantly buys him food the most out of the members bc jongho is a growing boy 

we been knew that jongho just belts out some song and tae gets so startled all the time

it echoes throughout their dorm

can carry tae in one arm which terrifies his members more

‘is,,, is that??’

‘oh yeah, gucci released a new bag’

‘i’m the bag’

tae cried when jongho graduated and was like a mom and filmed the whole thing and took pictures

hates affection which makes tae give him more affection

tae and seonghwa are his moms

‘tae-hyung always wakes me up by hugging me but when i return the hug he leaves.’

yeosang: ‘maybe he’s scared that you will literally crush him to death?’