#I NEED EVERYTHING IN THIS ROOM TO EXPLODE

[novankenn]

I had an idea for Mafia AU. Weiss and Winter Schnee. Sisters on opposite sides of the law learn that their father IS responsible for the hit on Jaune. The Arcs leaving have hurt his bottom line and he can’t abide it. Through different approaches the two sisters learn Jacques has hired “The Scorpion” an assassin that can’t be swayed once he accepts a contract. It is a religious matter to him. How do they respond and would the head of the Schnee family survive their response?

Mirror, Mirror in the hall, who do we call?

(A snippet from "a Mafia" & "From Assassin to Sales Clerk" AUs)

Weiss was having the time of her life tonight. Under the strobing black lights of the club her neon pink and yellow twin trail styled hair, and form fitting shirt and hot pants glowed brightly. The world renown singer and heir to the Schnee Family was loving the anonymity her outfit and acts were giving her.

In fact she was currently getting very up close and personal with a very energetic and flirty cat faunus, dressed in similarly bright colors. A quick thought about the young man her father had betrothed her to passed through her mind, making her feel even better about sharing these... intimate dances with Neon.

The betrothal was just another attempt by her father to bring more wealth and power under Schnee influence. The Vasilias were fairly powerful in their own right, and if linked to the Schnee via a marriage between Weiss and Neptune... all the better. Which was why Weiss had been paying more attention to her father's actions... and the family's public and private books.

Which was why she was risking meeting her black sheep of a sister, Winter. Weiss still didn't fully understand why Winter threw away everything her family could have helped her achieve to struggle and slave for pennies as a SWAT member in the AMPD. Weiss licked her lips when she felt Neon's tail brush her behind while moving to coil about her waist.

"Some one's getting frisky." Weiss purred into Neon's ear as she draped her arms over the slightly shorter woman.

"Do you blame me?" Neon purred right back, while leaning in for a kiss.

Weiss' heart was slamming inside her chest and she lowered her head to meet the beautiful girl's lips, when the world exploded in light.

"AMPD! Everyone on the ground now!"

Neon grabbed Weiss' hand and tried to drag her away, but Weiss refused. This was all part of the plan, to speak with Winter, so she needed to stay. Pulling Neon close, Weiss gave her the kiss she had wanted, and then pressed her forehead to hers.

"I need to stay." Weiss whispered. "If you stay with me, I'll take care of you. But if you want to go... I'll understand."

"You promise?" Neon asked as she slid her hand down from Weiss' wrist and intertwined her fingers with Weiss'

"I promise."

"Down on the ground! Hands on you heads! NOW!"

Thirty minutes later Weiss found herself in an interrogation room. She remained silent as Officer Marrow tried to get her to explain why she was attending a rave in a drug den. Weiss just slid a business card to him. A card with the contact details for Detective Winter Schnee of AMPDs Special Weapons and Tactics Team. Officer Marrow picked up the card.

"Okay, Ms Harlequin." Marrow rose from his seat, knocked on the door twice, and before leaving, "Det Schnee will be with you shortly."

Another twenty minutes later, a rather stern looking woman, entered. Her uniform was pristine, and she radiated an air of authority. She said nothing as she took her seat. Before the door closed she gave a nod to her partner, Detective Elm Ederne, who returned the nod.

The pair sat in silence for a minute before the blinking redlight on the camera stayed off.

"Sister. What is it this time?" Winter spoke with a disinterested tone. "As much as I appreciate you trying to stay in... "

"The girl brought in with me. Neon Katt, can you make sure she is released with me?"

"Why?" Winter cocked an elbow as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Is she special?"

"Just to me." Weiss replied, "As for why I did this..."

"It better not be to ask me to a secret birth..."

"NO!" Weiss snapped. "This is important! Danger to the family important!"

"Weiss?"

"I've been looking at the books, and watching father." Weiss reported to her sister, "He's up to..."

"The bastard is always up to something. Legal or illegal. He's always scheming, and fucking people over."

"Well this will fuck us all, if it means what I think it means." Weiss countered. "I think father has issued a contract. I'm not sure for how much, or on who specifically."

"I'll need more information then that Weiss. You know this."

"There is forty million missing from the accounts."

"Shit."

"I contracted someone, Flynt Coal, know him?"

"Why did you hire a Black Hat hacker?"

"To get into Father's personal systems." Weiss explained, "He did, and he found two names. Arc and Scorpion. Do those..."

"Are you positive!" Winter snapped.

"Yes? Flynt drop-boxed me the time stamped screen shots."

"Fuck!"

"Winter, I don't...."

"Get hold of you friend Flynt and tell to vanish. Then you take Neon, introduce her to Mom and Whitley..." Winter paused. "And then CONVIENCE or COERCE her to take you all to Mistral for a holiday. Understand?"

"I don't but I'll do it." Weiss responded. "Can you tell me what is going on?"

"Father in his stupidity may have just killed us all." Winter growled before standing up, and banging on the door. When it opened. "She knows nothing. Just a stupid girl and her girlfriend looking for a fun time. Cut her and Neon Katt loose."

"Everything okay Winter?" Elm asked. "You look a little... stressed."

"We need to speak to Chief Ironwood."

Ten minutes later, Wiess was desperately sending Flynt a message, through a BBS while dragging Neon with her towards the bullhead pads for Atlas proper.

[otherpeoplesheartachept-2]

Day 4: Daydreaming

It's been a very long day, and Penny just wants to study, but her annoying pixie roommate and new girlfriend won't let her relax. Penny can't help but imagine a better situation.

Rating: G

Length: 940

Warnings: none

Read on Ao3 or below :)

It had been a long day: Penny’s period started, the Humdrum sent flying neetles to attack Watford, and Penny missed lunch because she had to pick their annoying little pins out of her skin. So all Penelope Bunce wanted to do was relax. But of course, she opened her door to find Trixie and her new girlfriend giggling like the unfortunate victims of a potent love potion. 

Penny shut the door forcefully and sat at her desk. Was it too much to ask to get some peace in her own damn room? “Diplomacy is nearly as important as your studies,” her mother's words rang in her head, and Penelope does try to listen to her mother. So she took a deep breath and did her best to focus on her schoolwork despite the crowded enclosure.  

It’s not that Trixie and Keris were taking up a lot of space. They were sitting on Trixie's bed, mushed against each other as if they’d been put in a vacuumed sealed bag. And they just kept giggling. Penelope wondered if she could add that to the Roommate List of Banned Activities. After all, Trixie had just added a rule about no magickal tomes allowed on the floor between their beds.

Trixie whispered, far too loudly, “I love you,” to Keris. 

Penny rolled her eyes. She needed silence to study, but Trixie didn’t seem to understand that. They’d had that argument far too many times.

She wasn't going to say anything, but Penny felt it was well within her rights to make her feelings known.

Penelope opened her bookbag angrily. She slammed her textbooks on the desk angrily. She flipped to the right page in her notebook angrily. She took the cap off her pen angrily and even clicked it on to the other end of the pen angrily. 

But they didn’t take the hint. The two of them were still flirting, and despite Penelope’s best efforts to ignore the couple, out of the corner of her eye she saw Trixie planting kisses all over Keris’ face. 

Penny wanted to vomit. 

She shook her head, trying to erase the image, and turned her eyes back to her textbook. Penny tried reading the section on spell casting traditions from medieval Britain, but Trixie wouldn’t stop being in love so loudly. 

Penny started over at the top of the page but her head was invaded by what she imagined the couple was murmuring on about.

“Ooo I’m Keris and I’m so…” okay well, Penelope didn't know Keris that well so she didn't know what she would be saying. But she knew Trixie was probably saying something like:

“Ooo I’m Trixie the Pixie, I’m infuriatingly adorable and unbelievably cheerful!” (Every sentence Trixie uttered ended with an exclamation point.) “I smell like vanilla and cherry blossoms! And wet moss when I cast! My hair is pink now! Don’t you just loveeee it!! It makes me look even cuter! And omg I saw the cuuuuuttest puppy today!! 

We should get a puppy together, Keris! We should get a flat together and get married! I love you sooooo much Keris, even though we just started talking two months ago! I learned a spell to explode the most pink, most sparkly glitter imaginable alllllll over my (shared) bedroom to show you how much I love you!!! And I’m gonna make my roommate clean up the mess! It's not like I could spend time with my roommate who I've known for years instead! It's not like Penelope would want to help me study, or learn new spells, or hold my hand on the way to the classes we share. Or giggle with me on my bed after school. Or kiss me on the Great Lawn, at sunset, when the weather is warm and inviting, and I’d taste so sweet, like that cotton candy lip balm I let Penny borrow in 3rd year. And I’d hold my small hand against her cheek. And when she runs her fingers through my soft hair I’d smile against her lips. 

I’d do everything I could to cherish the moment. To commit the unbelievable feeling to memory. We both want this so badly. I can’t stop. I want Penny to deepen the kiss, and she does. She presses closer and closer to me. I hold her tightly. I can’t let this end, it’s all I’ve ever wanted, not the roommate rules, or the petty insults. I just want us, our lips pressed together and-”

“Can’t you two love each other anywhere else!?!” Penelope explodes, snapping out of her disturbing daydream. 

Keris blushed and hid her face in the crook of Trixie’s neck. 

“We aren’t breaking any of the rules, Penelope,” Trixie smiled.

Penny let out a deep sigh. Her chair scraped across the wood floor as she stood to add to the Roommate List of Banned Activities they have magicked to the wall between their desks. 

In a neat script she wrote out, No Girlfriends in the Room before triumphantly crossing her arms as Trixie read the wall.

“That’s just homophobic, Penny,” Trixie points out.

“Well-!” Penny attempted to respond but she was at a loss. Hell’s Bells. She faced the list again, but mostly to hide her embarrassment. 

“I’m going to the library, there are fifteen more grimoires I need to bring back and study.”

Penny was very pleased with herself. Not only would more books in the room annoy her roommate, but now she had an excuse to look for fifteen books from the Watford library. 

Trixie only rolled her eyes as Penelope shoved her things back into her bag and rushed out to the hallway. 

[kr-210-r2700-prime]

blood-loss induced delirium (alternatively: i’m so normal. i’m so normal)

also progress stuff. with the original dialogue.

[calware]

i get so mad every once in a while because i remember i will never ever have the ability to know what my life would've been like had i been born the opposite sex

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst

[fiyrball6063]

Effect layer practice except i love it sm..

[pronounrespector]

[theygender]

What are you talking about. Exactly zero of these things are essentials

[wlwaerith]

since shelving elarys the itch for an oc who is so wildly off the rails in the same way has become almost unbearable 😔

[milo-is-rambling]

Finally liking my window set up I think I’ve mastered it with the ac finally

[arolesbianism]

I've just been playing the new cotl update for most of the day and I'm so so close to being done with the main new story bits I think but it's also past midnight but also I'm so excited idk if I'll be able to sleep but also god damn do I need to sleep

[ripclaudia]

we need to get hold of the script of this is not for tears i cant do this anymore

literally this. okay there are probably reasons why they haven't released the script because why wouldn't they have when they have also released the scripts of 1x10 and 3x09, but it doesn't mean i'm not desperately craving it.

and yes like 99% of the reason why i want it is that i want to know what the fuck happened in the infamous rg yacht scene(s?). i feel like not giving me that information is a literal crime against me and my mental health.

[mortalityplays]

talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.

I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.

I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?

This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.

At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.

EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.

Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.

When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.

prezzemolo

I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.

[philosophicallie]

i hate food i hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food

[hellcatsandcars]

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