#I NEED A HALLOWEEN EPISODE
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jameswilsonsupremacy · 9 months ago
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chase would’ve dressed as westley from the princess bride at some point in his life. westley is the fictional character that chase projects onto. that’s it, that’s the post. that’s all I have to offer for the silly hate crimes md fandom. i will go back to reblogging and keeping house md brainrot to myself, thanks dawgs.
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egophiliac · 1 year ago
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this is all I can muster right now, too busy having my brain absolutely melted by the September schedule, what is happening
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doyelikehaggis · 11 days ago
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7 Days of Scarepairs: Sciles | Scott McCall x Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf) + “Grief”
Requested by @joanthangroff (TW mention of suicide attempt)
It was a long ride back from the motel. At least, it felt longer. Stiles' gaze burning holes in the side of his face wasn't making it go any faster, either. Scott could see his bouncing leg, hear his racing heart and smell the anxiety radiating off of him. Even if he were oblivious to all of that, he would still know something was wrong with him.
"Stiles," he said wearily, looking at him properly for the first time since Coach snatched his whistle back off of Lydia and told them to sit down. "Are you okay?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. All good."
The way he glanced at him said otherwise. Scott raised his eyebrows pointedly and the leg bouncing stopped. Stiles ran a hand over his thigh and nodded jerkily as if reiterating that he was fine.
"Look, we're gonna figure this out, okay?" Scott assured him as best he could. "From what Ethan said, there's a good chance that Derek is alive. Once we get back to Beacon Hills, we can find him, and we can make a better plan. No one else is going to get hurt."
He just managed to bite back a promise. He knew he couldn't. He only hoped that it was the truth.
But Stiles stared at him like he could see right through him, his eyes narrowing. He parted his lips like he was going to retort, as he usually would, but instead, he just shook his head and turned to face the back of the seat in front of him. As he ran a hand over his face, Scott frowned.
"You're angry," he blurted out.
Stiles shook his head again and sighed. "No. No, Scotty, I'm not angry." His heart skipped but he acted like Scott couldn't hear it. "I'm just... I'm tired. Last night was..."
"I know," Scott said softly. His own heart skipped. "But the darach's not going to catch us by surprise like that again."
Stiles nodded, but he didn't say anything else. In fact, he didn't say anything else for the rest of the ride. Scott wanted to, but something stopped him. He took to staring out the window and letting his eyes unfocus as he repeated his plan to find Derek in his mind the whole way home.
*
The bus dropped them off at the school. Stiles insisted on driving Scott home, even though he had his bike. He didn't put up a fight - he just wanted to go home and see his mom before he did anything else. That phone call back at the motel had felt too real. He just needed to see her.
Of course, she was at work. Scott sighed when he found the note on the fridge, but he told himself not to overthink it. She was fine.
"Alright, well, I think we should go to Derek's loft first," he said, turning to Stiles who was lingering by the back door, his arms folded. "He'd most likely have gone back there to try and heal."
He frowned.
"Although, if the alpha pack are looking for him, that might be too obvious. Maybe we should try the animal clinic first. He could've gone to Deaton, right?"
He waited for Stiles to agree with him or suggest something he hadn't thought of because right then, all Scott had was a handful of guesses and maybes.
But Stiles didn't chime in. He shrugged when he realized Scott was looking at him.
"Stiles, are you sure you're okay?" he asked gently.
Stiles dragged a hand over his face and sighed again, his tongue in his cheek, and he could smell the irritation on him, just like when they were on the bus.
"You know what? No," he snapped, throwing his hand up. "No, Scott, I'm not okay, and, quite frankly, neither are you, and I don't get why we're just pretending that last night never happened. Because it did."
"Do you mean..." Scott couldn't quite get the words out, his throat closing up around them and forcing them back down. He shifted his feet, his gaze dropping to the ground for a moment. "The wolfsbane?"
"Yeah, I'm talking about the wolfsbane," Stiles said, his voice thick with emotion he was failing to contain. "More specifically, what the wolfsbane did to you, Scott."
Scott shook his head, his eyebrows drawing together as he tried to ignore the sick feeling weighing down on him. "It was just... you saw what it did to all of us. Ethan-"
"Tried to saw himself open, yeah," Stiles cut him off. "Probably something to do with his freakish ability to combine into one even more freakish mutation with Aiden. Isaac - he was hiding under his bed. Boyd and Lydia were hearing things. But you, Scott..."
He took a step toward him, and Scott watched his feet, observing every little detail of his shoes and the kitchen floor.
"Scott, you tried to kill yourself."
"It was just..."
"No. No, Scott, the wolfsbane brought out all of your biggest fears and just - just heightened your true emotions. Boyd's guilt about his sister, Isaac's fear of his dad, Lydia always being the one to find dead bodies. It wasn't the wolfsbane talking when you did that. Was it?"
Scott knew he had to give him an answer. He just didn't think either of them really wanted to hear it. The truth hung in the air between them, as suffocating as the gasoline that still clung to Scott's senses.
"It doesn't matter," he said quietly, then looked up to meet Stiles' disbelieving stare. "We need to find Derek. We can't waste any more time, we need-"
"Scott, stop! Can you even - you nearly died! Twice!"
"But I didn't-"
"Because someone stopped you! Allison literally had to sew you back together because you felt so guilty about Derek being dead that you were going to let yourself die, too! Scott, I had to talk you out of setting yourself on fire, how can you not - how do you not see how messed up that is?!"
"Stiles, I'm sorry about last night, okay? I shouldn't have... I should've fought the wolfsbane, or..."
Stiles just stared back at him, shaking his head incredulously. Finally, in a much softer voice, he said, "Scott, I don't want you to be sorry that I had to save you. I just... I just wanna know that you don't actually believe what you said last night."
It was a simple request. It would take just two words. And yet...
Scott opened his mouth. Then he shook his head and closed it again, looking away with a piercing pain where his healed wound was just yesterday.
"You have to admit that a lot of what we've gone through wouldn't have happened if I hadn't..."
"Hadn't what?" He looked back up to see the reason for the quiver in Stiles' voice; tears shone in his wide eyes. "Hadn't survived being bitten by Peter? That's what you meant, wasn't it?"
He tilted his head but he didn't get a chance to deny or confirm. Stiles already knew. He looked like he might crumble into a million pieces.
"Scott," he said, his voice cracking as he moved closer. "I don't care what's happened to us. I don't care about the murderous werewolves or - or the hunters, or any of the crazy supernatural things that keep happening around us, alright? Because we've survived it, but what I wouldn't have survived was losing my best friend."
Scott bit his tongue, his eyes stinging. Part of him wanted to point out all the bad things - the numerous times he's put his life in danger, the people who haven't survived the craziness of their world, and everything else.
Then Stiles really did crumble. "Scott, I meant what I said last night. And I can't lose you. I can't - you and my dad, you're all... you're all I've got, and I can't - Scotty, I can't lose you as well. I need you. And I know how selfish that is, but it's true. So, if you need a reason to - to believe that you should be alive, then there it is. Me, Scott. Make me your reason if you have to, or your mom, or even Allison, because I promise you that none of us would be better off if you weren't here."
"You'd be safe, at least."
He didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out.
"You don't know that," Stiles countered, then he shrugged. "And even if that was true - I don't care. Scott, I'd rather be in danger every day of my life from some supernatural threat than live without you."
He didn't know what to say to that. All he could do was surge forward and hug him. Stiles immediately wrapped his arms tight around him, as if he never intended to let go.
"I'm sorry," he repeated quietly into his shoulder.
"Just make me a promise, Scotty. Alright? Promise that you'll talk to me, so that, when you start blaming yourself for every bad thing that's ever happened, I can tell you what an idiot you are."
Scott chuckled and nodded. "I promise." Then, he softly added: "I mean it."
Stiles tightened his arms just a little more. Both of them savoured the feeling of the other against them. Solid. Real. Alive. Safe. For a moment, they were as physically intertwined as they were in every other way.
Scott knew they should look for Derek. They should come up with a plan to stop the darach. But he wasn't ready to let go of the first real feeling of comfort he'd felt in a while.
#teen wolf#sciles#scott mccall#stiles stilinski#scott x stiles#stiles x scott#7 days of scarepairs#myedit*#derek hale#because scott's grief over derek destroyed me and then there's the added layer of stiles thinking he was about to lose scott#so he's thinking about his mom as well#and there's just a lot of angsty things being felt in general#and also motel california was like the scariest episode for me#so I felt it was fitting to delve a little into it for halloween#and also can we talk about how crazy it is that no one mentioned what happened at the motel afterwards?#they were like 'oh. it was wolfsbane. checks out' then they just never talk about the implications of what happened#like isaac obviously has his trauma. that makes sense#boyd though. I wanted to talk more about his guilt over alicia going missing but then they fucking killed him in the next episode so!#and ethan with the saw thing?? even just a scene of him talking to like danny or SOMEONE about his feelings behind that whole thing#like it was because he feels like he and aiden are one being and he can never be free of him? was it just because they can combine?#or was it like him being worried about aiden being back in beacon hills without him?#but truly the one we do not talk enough about is scott#it is never mentioned again afterwards that he felt like everyone would be better off if he was dead and I just think that's crazy#because sure. wolfsbane. but it was still to an extent scott saying all of it#and we know from the previous episode that he felt so guilty about derek possibly being dead that he would rather DIE than live with that#which is also crazy and doesn't get talked about enough#I need to know if derek knows about that actually#has anyone written a fic about that?#rarepair rowboat#rowing the rarepair rowboat
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puppiesareperfect · 29 days ago
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*bangs fists on table*
WAITER MORE HALLOWEEN SPECIALS IN THE PNF REVIVAL PLEASE
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vampiric-succulent · 3 months ago
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If I had a nickel for every time some guy in a Dungeons and Dragons show/stream shouted “my erogenous zone!” I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice
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jester-step · 4 months ago
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just girly things: reading batman: dark victory and feeling nauseous every time harvey dent gets mentioned 🌸🥰💕
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rosalie-starfall · 1 year ago
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Miranda Richardson as Madame Tracy
Good Omens - The Book / Hard Times
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nexus-nebulae · 27 days ago
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every day i wish that Rats SMP was a cartoon bc it would make the greatest show ever i think
#I've been watching Arietty and the Rescuers a lot lately;;;;;;;;;;;#i just think it would make the cutest fucking cartoon with the funniest plotlines#it would be so perfect#with the ensemble cast you can swap out characters as much as you need/want to#the different animals breaking into the house later in the series would make a fucking BANGER season 2#(like can you fucking imagine. season 2 pilot. theres a BADGER IN THE HOUSE NOW?)#they've even got a halloween special AND christmas special episode it's PERFECT#the whole first season could cover the rats getting used to the house and getting settled in#maybe the season 1 finale is the mum and others coming home#I would absolutely fucking want Owen to be played by David Tennant bc his tenth doctor voice gives me rat owen vibes#rats smp cartoon would be so so so good#cannot fucking WAIT for Rats In Paris#i have a whole scene in my head of like. that episode where Jimmy gets locked in a room all night and is miserable abt it 😭#where he's trapped in the room with the son and the boy is just chasing him around the room for hours#set to the song A Haunted House! from the totoro soundtrack#trying to catch jimmy in a little bug net#there's also this whole wild chase scene in my head with one of the cats chasing Owen Martyn and Scott and the janitor gets involved as well#set to Cat Chase from the Suzume soundtrack#i actually have a whole spotify playlist titled Rats SMP But As A Wholesome Kids Cartoon it has so many ghibli movie songs#(willing to share if anyone is curious i love sharing playlists)#i fucking LOVE imagining Hey Let's Go from the totoro opening credits as a Mitchiri-Neko style marching rats credits sequence#with each verse more characters join the march until all the animal guests and humans are there too#Do the Impossible from Chicory would make such a fucking cute anime style opening showing little clips of all the chaos of the house#i love this idea so goddamn much i fucking wish i could animate ;-;#i would infodump about this idea for hours if i had infinite tag space but alas. maximum of 30
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago
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s4 episode 5 thoughts
i’m back. i’m back and i’m intrigued. because i'm reading the episode description, and if we get more mulder ex lore here, which the episode description makes it sound like we will, i am… not sure how i will feel on the subject. the term “reincarnation” makes it sound like whoever it was… died. did an ex of his die? and that is a lot of mulder marked by pain and suffering. and maybe i’m getting ahead of myself. but the writers KNOW we want our agents to smooch, so focusing on an ex might make me, the viewer, feel weird. i just need to get all these thoughts out in writing before we begin.
how is he gonna tell if someone is a reincarnated lover? or am i misunderstanding this entirely. 
only one way to find out
author’s note: oh my gosh…… nothing could have prepared me for this. at all. here i was thinking it was ex lore time, but it was past life time, and there are TEARS in my eyes.
(serious author's note: i ask for some grace in this episode recap. there may be some things i word poorly. i am familiar with the terminology used to describe DID, and did my best, but acknowledge that i may have come up short. please understand that this is intended to capture my live reactions to what i was seeing for the very first time. at times here, there are no reactions, just a sort of a nebulous recapping of what i saw because i was feeling So Many Things. so this one might be messy, and i hope that is okay. i don't understand what i am feeling, but i am feeling a Lot of it, and humbly ask for your patience in my clumsy wording as well as some helpful discussion on what just went down)
let us begin, i type as i sniff up some tears
we open with mulder in a field… is he reciting poetry? and looking very sad. 
wait, is he not actually reciting poetry and he just talks like that? while holding two pictures of old timey people. i’d guess civil war era.
okay. so now we jump right to the intro. that was quick. i’m still processing what we just saw because we were really dropped into that one with no context whatsoever.
federal agents break into a temple in tennessee. they’re looking for illegal firearms! and a guy named ephesian.
but mulder sees a window… and he is staring at it… walking out the door as if led by some sort of spiritual quest while scully yells his name and wonders wtf he’s doing. he is not responding to her at all, but she’s chasing after him because she is a good friend.
so he’s hearing things while scully is pulling her gun out, and it does appear that he found a trapdoor!
he busts in, and slaps some poison out of the hand of a woman who was taking sips, and then grabs the dude who i assume is the cult leader. whew… that was close
now they’re at some sort of meeting, listening to tapes, and skinner is here!!! hiiii skinner. everybody say hi skinner!
so, someone on the tape seems to be whistleblowing on this cult- the seven stars or something- saying that the leader is hurting children and stockpiling weapons. mulder looks incredibly pensive during all of this.
oh! someone refers to mulder as “our man spooky”, which is kind of hilarious, while complaining that the reports were weak. scully leans in and asks yeah, how did he know that? while the men are fighting.
and skinner yells KNOCK IT OFF!!!! because the folks at the compound were somehow able to hide all the evidence before they got there, and now they’re forced to hold ephesian and “his wives” on “BS charges”. so now the agents MUST find evidence of firearms and who the informant was NOW because they will try to get an arraignment fast.
woah. no pressure.
skinner comes over talk to mulder and scully- they must look into this ephesian fellow's claims of supernatural abilities. scully says he can use the book of revelations to manipulate his followers, but seems to suspect no real powers. 
they to talk to this ephesian fellow, who says he knew for 9 centuries that scully was coming, and starts going on about the bible, quoting stuff. very scary behavior.
mulder comes in with the fact check. jesus said that at smyrna, not about some church in tennessee! (his knowledge…. it always impresses me)
this dude is being super creepy, telling them to put aside their investigation “for your own souls”, because soon all unfaithful shall “be destroyed by God’s mighty men”. so this is some pretty standard cult rhetoric here. if you've studied religions, you've heard this one many times. it seems that ephesian thinks he and his people shall be the ones doing this violence. a tight zoom in on mulder’s troubled face as he quotes more scripture.
they have 6 wives to question, and mulder says to start with one in particular. interesting… i wonder why that one. is it because she was the one they caught ephesian with in the hidden area... or something more?
her name is melissa, and she says she’s 25 as she smokes a cigarette and dodges their questions. she’s been at the compound and married to ephesian for a year. 
mulder asks if it troubles her that ephesian has so many other wives, and she just recites scripture instead of answering. so scully comes in with the “i’d have a tough time if my husband had so many children with other women”. this seems to begin to get her to crack, as she tears up.
wait... it’s so wrong to hear scully call someone else, who isn't her sister, melissa :(
melissa she doesn’t have any children with ephesian yet... because he has to wait for God to tell him that the right soul is ready to be reincarnated, which is why his children are the most sacred members of the temple. naturally, of course /s
things get quiet when they ask if he had been hurting the children until melissa starts talking with a very different voice and set of mannerisms, and she no longer replies to the name melissa. so scully scrawls “multiple personality” in her loopy handwriting and passes it over to mulder. oh! is this sydney?
(at this point, i shall begin to refer to sydney with he/him pronouns, as this is what mulder does. normally i would stick to my journalistic integrity and keep reporting the things i wrote down incorrectly while watching the episode, but i'm trying to be very respectful- i hope you understand)
but mulder writes back to scully no, this is not a multiple personality case, it's a past life case! his handwriting is very blocky. to prove his point, he asks sydney who the current president is, and he responds that it is harry truman. ah. so, he's a few years off.
mulder claims that “somehow he just knew” sydney was melissa's past life, which doesn’t reveal a lot, but his eyes are very soulful and i want to hold his hand.
skinner says they need to find something to get this case moving forward, and mulder is like dude, we found sydney, the voice matched! i would agree with his judgement that this in fact a sizeable discovery.
mulder is saying that what they have seen matches the criteria of DID in the DSM4 (woah, need to look up when we switched to 5), but scully is saying that some people don’t even think it exists as a condition, and skinner thinks it could be a trap to buy more time for ephesian. so no one is in agreement here.
but mulder is going into his psychology expert mode and is making a very compelling case that this is an example of DID, particularly in the fact that sydney emerged when the topic of child abuse came up, which fulfilled the protector role. scully wants to know more before giving any sort of diagnosis, but she doesn't seem opposed to the hypothesis.
(skinner seems to fumble over which pronouns to use for each personality here)
skinner says to go ahead and take her back to the compound and see if it gets any results in prompting memories that could be useful to the investigation, but scully is mad at mulder! he didn’t even have the courage to tell skinner he thinks they're dealing with past lives here! mulder, who is usually so brave!!
he mumbles that skinner wouldn’t believe him. which is true.
woah, i don’t know how to interpret this line here, so i’ll just write it down for further analysis:
“i don’t believe that you feel responsible for those 50 lives. or melissa reidel. you are only responsible to yourself, mulder”
(is she saying he doesn’t care about those 50 people?? is she saying he has an ulterior motive? is she calling him a liar, and that he is using this case to gain support for his supernatural ideas?? is she calling him selfish? or is she trying to tell him that he can only be responsible for himself and control his own actions, that he cannot place the burden of saving everyone upon his shoulders? is she berating or reassuring him or both? does she think he isn't serious about the lives in danger?)
i can’t figure it out, but he gets up and leaves. (after watching the episode, i still can't figure it out- what did you think?)
so they take melissa back to the temple, and scully asks her to recall the painful memories so they can keep herself and others safe. it is very tense as she walks into a bedroom and sees many photos on the wall of ephesian and his wives. she knocks some of them over and starts crying.
scully still looks furious with mulder. it's as if she thinks his desire for supernatural entities to be proven comes ahead of his desire to save actual lives, and it's recalling her comparison to ahab during the conversation on the rock. she must feel that there is no time for this, that they need to get concrete answers right away or horrible things will happen; perhaps she thinks he isn't focused, is being fanciful. and i understand the pressure of a ticking clock, but after so long, this rift between them, it doesn't feel right.
oh my goodness, we see some horrific artwork on the wall by the kids at the temple. woah. shoutout to the set design team.
melissa is in the playroom sobbing, but asks why she is being called melissa. scully asks what she should call her, and that is how we meet lily. but lily isn’t there for very long before sydney comes back, saying to “leave the kid alone”. mulder says they can all be safe if they just are told where the guns are. then melissa seems to come back, and she goes back out the window where mulder was staring earlier!!! what does this window know?!?
and the score here is really pretty as she walks outside, scully following behind her. mulder is clearly unwell, though, and scully asks what is wrong, which he ignores and walks past her. typical him.
a new alter of melissa's seems to front, now with a southern accent, saying the guns are in a bunker. but… it’s the civil war she’s talking about. she was a nurse, looking for someone who was staying in tennessee. and she found that someone here, dead. then she was hidden in a bunker while the battle raged above her. it is very horrific, what she is describing.
she clarifies that she was there in november 1863, then turns to mulder and says “as were you”. he doesn’t seem shocked by this, but scully is, as this new southern belle proclaims “this is the field where i watched you die” OH!
(mulder, a confederate in a past life… this is deeply unfortunate)
mulder is trying to make a phone call to a hypnotist while they drive melissa back to the police station, but scully figures out he’s trying to do past life regression on her and says not to. and that her life is in shreds, and that is too much for her to handle. i hate to say it, but i agree with her. melissa has been through so much, and with such a tight deadline, i don't know if they have time for such a journey.
OH! mulder is angry. his voice is all growly as he yells “YOU WERE THERE, SCULLY! you saw it, you heard it, why can’t you feel it?” oh my gosh… the way he slammed his hand on the wheel... why can't she see it, it seems so obvious to him... how infuriating it must be...
scully asks why ephesian is a paranoid sociopath for claiming to be in greece years ago, but he isn’t for claiming to have died in that field……. damn…….
(idk what’s going on here between them exactly but i’m stressed. they are stressing me out)
(at this point, we begin a sequence in which i am so enraptured with what is going on, i have no reactions to all of the things i am seeing, and just recount them to you, with occasional interjections of "oh my god"- but i think if you've seen the episode, you get why it had this effect on me)
so they do get a therapist, who is talking to melissa. she begins to answer the therapist's questions about seeing anything upsetting at the compound, talking about a woman named elizabeth and her son scott, who came to live in the temple. and ephesian took the son away. but ephesian caught his mother visiting her son, and “the mighty men” beat her, which brings melissa to tears as she recounts this. and he hit the boy, calling him garbage, beating him.
scully looks very stressed in the background to hear all of this, but sydney is now fronting at this point, saying to leave melissa alone, and that the guns are in the bunkers… somewhere. where they are is a mystery, though.
scully leans down to mulder and says that maybe there is a map somewhere, but mulder says she knows where to find them. and at this she says “mulder…” in a very breathy fashion and i still can’t quite articulate what is going on between them…. but he’s going in.
he says it’s me, melissa, and asks her to go back to the field. “your eyes may have changed shade, but it cannot color the soul behind them”, she says. that they are only to meet in passing in this life. and she misses him. he just stared and stares, before his head falls into his hands
scully is trying to explain to him that this is a product of melissa's illness, and she can’t give any specifics- no names or locations, and they don’t have time to do this, because ephesian’s arraignment is in two hours.
“wouldn’t you, scully? wouldn’t anybody?” <- oh my god…. is he compelled by a terrible sense of duty or by his own curiosity? is she scared to watch him go down this path he cannot return from?
okay, so now he is going back into his past lives. this sequence is almost entirely a close up of his face, for minutes on end, which adds to the intensity. he's really panting as he remembers. “ghetto streets. shattered glass. bodies of the dead. a jewish woman. poland.” oh my god…… 
he says that he is samantha’s mother in this life; “in this life, she is my son”
his father is dead, and… HIS FATHER IS SCULLY? WHAT? i didn’t see that coming. she’s troubled by this, all of this, not just learning he believes her soul to have been his father before.
but he says that his father is waiting now for their souls to come back together, different, but always together, again and again, to learn.
and he is crying. he can’t go to his father. a gestapo man is there, and he is cancer man; “evil returns as evil, but love… souls mate eternal”. and his wife is melissa, who is taken away to the camps. and he’s crying, and scully is watching with great concern.
now, he’s rising above the field, near the bunker. and his sergeant is also dead, and “he is scully”, and we cut to her face of increasing sadness. sarah holds him, who is melissa. she is sarah kavanaugh, and he is sullivan biddle. she doesn’t know that he’s waiting for her, that they will live again. 
scully tries to ask if he sees any bunkers, but he keeps saying his soul is tired, and he wants to rest.
and this is devastating. it was if i was the one undergoing the hypnosis here. i couldn't look away, i couldn't react, i was so entirely absorbed and confused and busy feeling things.
scully is consulting a map in the town records to try and find this bunker where the weapons are stored, and then she looks up the names he mentioned. sure enough, they are in the county records. then she reaches for some photos, where she finds one of sullivan and sarah. 
a lot of things are being processed in her brain, so we might need to give her a minute. i think we can see some long-held systems of belief being challenged in her mind.
but she brings him back the photos of their past lives, even as she is telling him that ephesian is going to be released soon. why would she do this? to comfort him? to validate him without using words?
oh my god, mulder just called her “dana”. wait. hold on. oh my god, hold on.
“dana, if, um… early in the four years we’ve been working together… an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that… we’d been friends together in other lifetimes- always- wouldn’t it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?”
“even if i knew for certain, i wouldn’t change a day”
WAUGHHHHHHHH (ripping my clothes off in grief) WAOUGHHHHHH wouavhhhghhhh……… she wouldn’t change a day….
(and what event was it that he is referring to? is there a certain one...? am i forgetting something from early s1...? damn you, my obsessive note-taking impulses, for not kicking into gear until s2...)
“well… maybe that flukeman thing, i could have lived without that just fine” HDHJSNSME he smiles as she leaves….
(i had to google what that even was because i was like ??? but the flukeman was the season 2 sewer baby!!! for those of you who are going into this whole thing blind and also don't know what the fandom calls stuff! i think to me he was "baby sewer mermaid" or something along those lines... but now we know)
so now he and melissa are in the room together, trying to recall. she says she wants to believe (!!!), and he’s rubbing her hand, but ephesian comes in, saying it’s time to leave. so she rips the photo in half and leaves crying. 
does he know he was supposed to love her? is he mourning that he hasn't? is he wondering if he has time to?
mulder gets up, and leans his head against the wall. scully comes in to say that they are still searching for more bunkers as the temple people return to their home. there is a deep sense of grief.
ephesian seems suspicious. 
mulder is talking to skinner, saying that those in the temple believe that the FBI are the devil’s army, prophesied to be defeated by the armies of god. but ephesian must not really believe that, because he hid the weapons. mulder emphasizes that he may “deny himself”.
back at the compound, all the members are being called to worship. the music is getting scary, and guns are being pulled out. 
scully looks up some bible verses and realizes that ephesian is calling his members to the end of times, which gives skinner the go ahead to launch a raid.
back at the compound, the poison is being distributed to the members of the temple. and a few are shooting at the agents outside, and mulder and scully pull up as the sipping of the poison begins inside. 
NO! mulder puts his hands up and begins to walk into the compound!!!!! WHAT IS HE DOING!!! scully shouts out that he is dead. as we see inside there are piles and piles of bodies, including melissa.
but wait! is she still alive???? she’s getting up!!! 
but no! ephesian is still there watching her. giving her poison to take. mulder is running in as fast as he can, trying to figure out what is going on. and he finds the room full of the bodies while gregorian chanting is in the background. 
he finds melissa, with no pulse, holding onto the photo she had torn. 
scully sees him touching her arm, raising his eyes and crying. 
we end where we began, with him in the field, holding the pictures of his and melissa’s past lives. 
end episode. 
what…..
first thoughts: i don’t quite know what to make of this, but i can tell it is going to tear me apart for the rest of my life.
second and third thoughts are also variations of my first thought.
i feel so sad? to know that mulder has (or thinks he has) lived these horrific past lives, and that he is reunited with the same people over and over again, to learn and lose them. and that scully was there with all of them- but so was melissa, and he said that soulmates are eternal, so if that is true he lost his for this life. and he said he was so tired, so tired... how can he escape the eternal cycle of samsara?
and scully, watching all of this- what did she mean when she said that he wasn't responsible for anything but himself? was it an insult? was she begging him? what was she feeling when she heard him talk about her being there in his past? was she trying to hurt him in their conversation in the car? will they ever actually be able to see eye to eye? does she believe him? can she? how does hearing all of this shake her own faith?
can you have many soulmates that come with you again and again, just in different forms? so would his soulmates be scully, and his mother and father and sister, and this melissa figure? and what are the implications of losing a soulmate in this world? is that a life of feeling that something is missing, until death? do they shuffle roles, but come again and again? is that comforting or horrific? are we to believe him?
and that terrible, terrible ending, him finding the bodies... how are we supposed to interpret that? just more grief on top of already endless grief? or are we supposed to see the poetry moment as an answer to a question that provides relief, even if it is bittersweet?
why did he want to know so badly? was he driven by duty to save? duty to find the Truth? duty to protect his loved ones and seek cosmic answers? are these separate things, or are they all intertwined in him?
i'm... really going to have to think this one over. i would really appreciate hearing your thoughts, as well. i wish i had a solid interpretation. it was very serious and sad, and it was bittersweet but filled with grief. i once again echo my earlier request for fluff. but how do you go back to the way things were once he says she was with him in every life? how does scully rationalize that? what are they to each other?
i'm pondering. it feels like something has shifted. and you can't go back now, even if i can't pinpoint what it is that changed.
i want to go back to daydreaming about apple cider dates. but it feels like you can't, you know? huh.
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astranauticus · 1 year ago
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A thrilling and horrific tale of 5 strangers caught up in a mysterious supernatural conspiracy, will they uncover the secrets of the peculiar artefact bestowed upon them or will they fall to what lurks in the shadows? Find out in Curse of the Amulet, coming to a theatre (heh) near you this Halloween season!
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lover-of-mine · 7 months ago
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Hi I have a weird question but idk why I think you have a way better memory with me with the show probably since you make gif haha so I was wondering if you had a screen or know which episode i can find the “911 what is your emergency ” that the caller answer with just AHHHH I know this is weirdly specific but I’m making a reaction packs with 911 and I have that picture in my mind I think someone had it as header but for the life of me I can’t remember so I was wondering if you could help me
Hi, baby, I can help you, it's the first call in 2x07 (I don't have my computer rn, but if you still need a screenshot I can get it for you tomorrow if you want to come back for it lol)
I will tell you this has absolutely made me question my sanity because I was like there's no way I know this, there's no way I'm right, so I opened the Disney app to check and I was right and I don't know if I should be impressed or worried kspskspsksksopwkapsos
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moonchild-in-blue · 1 month ago
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somehow this week is 3 hours long and these little pockets of time i have to scroll and be silly are being consumed with chess. i'm afraid i am developing a new (old) hobby.
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egophiliac · 1 year ago
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HEY GUESS WHAT!! BOOK SEVEN IS COMING TO ENGLISH LATE THIS MONTH!! WE GET TO GO THROUGH THE SUFFERING TOO!! I AM SO SCARED ABOUT BAT DAD
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S O O N
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thosetrollkids · 1 year ago
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going to reread @beannary 's TMA fic later cause its self care <3
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vaugarde · 1 month ago
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Genuine curiosity but after watching what seems to have been the entire Pokemon series in its original language, can I ask why you ended up watching the Kirby dub instead of sub? It's just incredibly funny in retrospect considering the usual opinion
oh i’m actually gonna be alternating between the dub and sub! i have a hard time focusing on subs, and while its easier for stuff ive watched before, i sorta wanna put this show on while i draw and eat and stuff (which was sorta limiting when i was watching the pokemon anime subbed. multitasking was a lot harder, i need to be doing something with my hands while i watch) so i’m saving some of the less important episodes/episodes i remember not caring much about for the dub. if only out of the hope that the dub is funny.
i’m actually fairly fond of both versions <3 the sub is better but i get a lot of dumb fun out of dub dedede. that being said, im extremely nostalgic for both.
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