#I MEAN DO WE REALLY KNOW WHAT THE CULTURE OF THE RAT PEOPLE WAS LIKE

[ms-scarletwings]

I’m VERY surprised none of you just up and posted these yet

You know, first time watching this episode/series you think this move is about devotion to the cause/loyalty to the empire before you understand what a remorseless narcissist Zim actually is.

So now I’m raising an eyebrow at this because if he was SO ready to reach for that button at the first risk of being outed, uh,

What usually happens to other Irken Invaders in the event of the natives sniffing them out?

Or more specifically, now that I think about how Operation Doom II was still in the earliest stage, what were Irken soldiers being taught would happen to them if they were captured by another species?

[tilthedayidice]

Hey welcome back to my BG3 Hot Takes

While I have your attention, here's a cool site to help Palestine, all you gotta do is click it daily.

This session was inspired by @lipsie, gettin me ttalkin way too much. Yes I am aware that the tadpole changes things, and they have to make it balanced for the game blah blah blah- let a bitch complain.

Screenshots sourced from the Baldur's Gate 3 Wiki

Gale is the only character I feel is spec'd correctly, He's smart but fiuckin stupid, he has autism rizz, mam could not lift any box you asked him to, the only reason his constitution is 13 is because he's been dealing with the Orb and he's used to it by now.

Karlach should start with 20 strength and you CANNOT convince me otherwise, her charisma should be higher also, she's a ball of sunshine and could put the fear of god into anyone, and the line "Gods I wanna ride you til you see stars" will never leave my brain. Give this bitch a 15. She do be a little dumb I'll give you that.

Shadowheart is just funny to me, How can her wisdom be a 17 when she's been cloistered away for so long? Her wisdom is only a 17 in ONE SPECIFIC SUBJECT, a subject where she's forced to give up her memories. Memories are where we get our wisdom. Wisdom is gained through lived experiences, I'd give you the 17 for endgame Shart, but not start of game Shart. I'll take the 8 CHA cause she's a bitch (said with love, me too babe) but she knows enough to get what and where she wants so I think we should nudge it up to like 10.

Lae'zel.... I think it's unfair to put Lae'zel's intelligence at 10. Her wisdom being low, yeah i get that she's been cloistered away in a society that believes its the only way, it's all she knows. But intelligence? No. She might know much about Faeruns culture and people, but she knows EVERYTHING about the stars. And there's far more of that than there will ever be of Faerun. She's the funniest person we know, give her 9 CHA.

Wyll my beloved, do you airbrush those abs on? Do you wake up every morning and contour them? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU DO!!!!!!!!! SO WHO'S THE ASS WHO DECIDED YOUR STRENGHT WAS A FUCKIN 8??????? THE BLADE OF FRONTIERS SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST A 13. He deserve a 15 but I know they won't give it to him. Lipsie and I were talking about him and they're right, WHEN WE DUMP THE BITCH HE SHOULD RESPEC INTO BARD.

Astarion..... oh Astarion.... you're such a disaster. Such a wet cat of a man. Such a pathetic little mew mew. I shit on him a lot, but I do really love his character and development lol. LESS STR MAKE HIM WEAK, he has been starved and living off rats and shame, he can have his measly 8 AFTER he drinks... uh "Thinking" Blood. His CHA being 10 is perfect actually no notes. I personally think his actual INT should be lower, not too much lower, maybe 11/12, I knooooow he was a magistrate, but you can't tell me he's not giving himbo... no what was that word on the meme graph? Himbim? Himbim.

Halsin.......... 10 STR? 10?!?!?!?! You built him LIKE THAT and give him 10 STR?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What in the nine hells...... Weaker than Karlach of course, but 10????? Give that man 15 at least 8 INT???????????? 8???????? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HATE HIM???? Is it because he isn't Gale? Mans has been studying the mindflayers on his own, he's been studying the shadow curse... on his own. HE'S A MASTER HEALER?!?!?! AN ARCHDRUID?!?!?!?!?!?!? That takes time, study, and dedication. You wanna assign him himbo so bad. He's just a whole well rounded man with autism,. (Not a dig on himbos, quite literally my favorite genre of Man). This is just 'cause he fucks isn't it.

Minthara she's so much smarter than Larian gives her credit for. While I agree with the WIS, that's more a product of being so closed off, Her INT is much higher. I'd give her a 14? She cunning, just because it's used for Evil deeds doesn't mean she hasn't been she hasn't put a lot of thought into her work. She lived in Menzoberranzan for Gods' sake. She had to be smart or be killed?!? She's said so on multiple occasions! Just because she's Evil aligned doesn't mean she not smart. (She's just as smart as our average Bear according to Larian)

Minsc...... First off let me say that I love that they chose this image. A Bad Bitch. Anyways, anyone who doesn't find that dumb happy face charming is either lying or literally has a stick up their ass.... 12 CHA. Also why is he so weak? I know he isn't like actually weak... but mans chunked that mimic? Let him have 14.

Jaheira I'll give you the 10 STR, she's complained about her knees like three times in my most recent session. 8 INT? So what I'm getting here.... is anyone not an origin character is just baseline 8? Lazy. Especially considering she was ALREADY GIVEN STATS IN TWO PREVIOUS GAMES. In both BG1 and BG2 she has an intelligence of 10, and if anything she's only gotten smarter over time. I wasn't gonna do this... but left is 1 right is 2.

15, 14, 17, 10, 14, 15, and 15, 17, 17, 10, 14, 15

Make it make sense. I know she's old at this point, but in my game she killed Sarevok again so idk man.

Rip me apart in the notes ;)

But do it nicely...

[weaselbeaselpants]

Making my own post and not linking OP because, genuinely I don't want them to get harassment for this

It's to the person who made this post

Full disclosure, for the UMPEENTH time: I don't give a rats ass about what Lily thinks about fictional characters. I used to. Then I met/knew/still know genuinely nice and critical people who hold the opinions Lily has but aren't Lily. I have friends who hate Steven Universe for justifiable reasons, same with SPOP. I personally dislike a lot of Friendship is Magic decisions and so do my mutuals like me. That's not the problem. Perhaps the reason people know OF Lily Orchard is through her -bad- media analysis, but it's not why people come away hating her, and it's DEFINITELY not the reason people are listening to the testimony of her victims and being rightfully horrified.

People talked of and about Lily Orchard for the same reason sane people clown on Mr. Enter; she's toxic and abusive. She's a bully and her 'idgaf' attitude is bad for fandoming and for critical culture. There's 'problematic' like critikal or breadtubers and then there is "lol fuck the haters who all want to r@pe me anyway, they're all n*zis anyway including the bipoc folks who I'm sure aren't real bipoc anyway. Now I'm going to police how other people take back slurs and how 'queer' is inherently offensive. I'm the REAL VOICE OF JUSTICE."

I called Lily the worst of "anti" fandom rhetoric because I mean it. She is a 'social-justice warrior' in the meanest ugliest sense of that word -ugly enough that basically everyone who's been called that by actual chuds will describe her as one. She talks over other people doing social justice, polices how other people use it, and only really cares about how it affects her. Frequently when people leave her fandom it's because Lily and her crew very cruelly shooed them away for not fitting Lily's exact interests and opinions 100%. Frankly I kind of hate that her attitude is labeled as 'radical' or 'anarchonistic' because she's 'unapologetic'. No. Real anarchists are people like decolonizetheleft or heritageposts --those two are both very blunt and quick to bite back if you throw them bullshit, but they also are not vitriolic and know that people are complex even when they post stuff other people wouldn't. Lily's not even a good call-out machine. She's nothing on HBomberGuy or D'Angelo Wallace or Shanespear. I'm still mad at her, not for SU, but how she responded to other critics of SU who told her not to joke about Rebecca Sugar being a fascist. She told them, some of them Jewish people, that they're just butthurt at her ripping and not her trying to talk over other people. I'm still mad at her for siding with a n*zi until she realized that looked bad for her and her cruelty towards other lgbtq people over how they use the word "queer".

She's been doing this for YEARS. She dropped in on old brony discourse this exact same way and it fucking sucked because, you know, people in fandom or the show itself DID do shitty things. We needed genuine help weeding out the bad actors around us; it sucked that one of said bad actors was trying to speak for us. Now imagine this but amplified to a woman with some native heritage trying to talk down how other people see and talk about THEIR cultures. It's always been a massive headache.

Britt has also been around for years though and so has all the evidence and trails left of Stockholm before Lily decided to redact it completely. Lily absolutely wrote that. She absolutely wrote cp. I was there for back when she still proudly referenced it.

"Why don't you move on and stop obsessing?"

Believe me I'd LIKE to. It's that extra element of worrying behavior that goes beyond annoyance with a youtuber like Lindsay Ellis or Quinton Reviews that has kept me always watching from the sidelines. If I be an "anti" (frankly, every proshipper I've ever met who's seen the receipts from Stockholm has the same take as me, so idk) for having 0 tolerance fictional material of children than it would be hypocritical not to hold 'one of my own' up to those standards especially when she DOESN'T own up to writing it when I know for a fact she did.

Fuck lousy chudheads and Vaushsluts and general KFcreeps who think any of this is funny and 'just lolcow behavior' and misgender Lily while they do it. Fuck transphobes.

Transphobes, chuds and ''stalkers'' are not the people ILoveKimPossibleALot brought into her video. Op, I genuinely hope you get away from Lily's influence. You deserve better. For now though I'm putting you and anyone else who unironically stans Lily on block. I am done hearing anymore excuses for this woman's character. I can't hear that anymore than I can't hear actual bigots use Lily to besmerch others -other trans folks, other liberals, other disabled people like me. I'm done.

[feraliminal]

Titan TVman and Beowulf are Basically the Same Character: Why Skibidi Toilet Is Folklore

It’s been a long time since I’ve touched the hellsite (I used to doodle and write dirty fic), but I’m fascinated by the silly toilet men videos, their popularity, and the confusion about their popularity. And because I’m a huge nerd and always want to know why people do things, I wrote something. It’s too long to leave on my Notes app and forget about, and I’m also not letting skibidi toilets anywhere near my serious blog. So I actually came back to Tumblr for this.

(Also the first stupid doodle I’ve done in forever, here’s the original meme.)

Toilet humour is obviously a huge part of why it’s so popular, and imho it’s a poop joke that got bigger than the creator intended it to. Toilets are endlessly amusing, particularly for kids, because learning to manage your waste is essential to being a civilised person but something that no one really wants to do. Some of the first conflicts between kids and their parents are often around cleanliness and potty training, and as we get older, the toilet is one of the few places where we’re first alone, particularly if we share a bedroom with siblings. Childlore and fiction about childhood is full of toilets: bullies that strike in school toilets, toilet ghosts like Bloody Mary and Hanako-san, people who died on the loo, and rats or spiders that bite your bum. It’s a classic example of a liminal space that looks mundane but could be full of scary shit.

So that’s my first smart theory, Skibidi Toilet is a contemporary haunted toilet story with something to do with dirt and discomfort vs tech. Clever theories about symbolism are fun and I think symbolism that feels relevant and familiar might be why something first attracts someone’s attention, but I don’t think it can explain the thing having fandom.

The only thing people love as much as poop jokes is stories about cool guys having punch ups, and there’s plenty of that as well. Visually and thematically, Skibidi uses all the tropes that we love in serious popular media - fights, explosions, monsters, giants, noise, the aforementioned cool robots. Swap out skibidi toilets for alien invaders, and cameramen with plungers for cyborgs with swords, and we’d have a respectable alien apocalypse story that’s identical to five other summer blockbusters. But as it is, it’s so ridiculous that it can only be a silly little internet video.

There’s a video by MatPat making a convincing argument that it’s actually about the conflict between independent content creators and the conventional media industry. But again, I think it’s also probably only indirectly what’s turning curious views into millions of subscriptions, especially since the earlier netlore was pretty niche. I think what viewers are picking up on is the dissonance between cool robots, apocalypse horror, and silly toilets, evidenced by most of the comments on YouTube being variation of “why is this actually good”. It’s got the same vibe as other stuff I’d classify as creepypasta-style or meme-style horror: Five Nights at Freddy’s, Among Us, Homestuck, and so on. In meme horror, there is an in-universe threat to characters that’s not played for laughs. However, something like a ridiculous gimmick, a parody of pop culture, or a dissonantly cute art style makes it clear that adult viewers who understand it as fiction don’t have to respect the threat.

The line between feared and respected has always been thin. A cool example of this is the word aglæca in Beowulf and other Old English texts. Aglæca is a debated word because it’s mainly used to describe monsters and demons, but is sometimes used to describe heroes and saints. Both the human hero Beowulf and his monster opponent Grendel are called aglæca. Based on this use and its etymology, some medieval studies scholars think it means something more like an uncanny and powerful outsider. I think a big part of meme horror’s appeal is that it’s still got heroes who are more or less serious characters fighting serious battles. We can respect the characters and their struggles even if we don’t fear the absurd stuff. I’ve chosen Titan TVman for my silly title because they’re the character that best embodies the “uncanny hero” aspect for me, but tbh I think that most meme horror heroes/anti-heroes seem to be these character types.

We know that enjoying horror fiction helps some people manage anxiety and fear, and comedy horror can help us laugh at fear. With the retained seriousness besides the playfulness, meme horror might be more beneficial than basic serious or comedy horror as a comfortably uncomfortable middle ground between the two. Cringe is currently having a cultural moment too, where concerns about and celebrations of being cringe are everywhere, so it might also give us a way of exploring and processing our feelings about embarrassment as well as fear.

Memes, and therefore meme horror, are very amenable to being collaboratively and spontaneously adapted and spread by regular folk. They’re a new form of folklore, essentially. They address stuff that’s relevant to the lives of regular folk, including ugly and uncomfortable things. There’s even a theory that the culture of the very online has began an era of “secondary orality” where how we spread stories on the internet replicates how we used to spread folk stories by word-of-mouth. Secondary orality is a double-edged sword, as it can build creative and supportive communities, but also spreads conspiracy theories and hate. No wonder some of us might not be having our needs fulfilled by regular horror fiction, if we’re facing the bad kind of secondary orality as well as everything else that’s going on in the world. (More allegories! An increasingly absurd and hostile world is another theme in Skibidi Toilet.)

The 1938 book Homo Ludens argued that doing things just for fun has defined features and benefits: play gives us freedom to express ourselves, it’s separate from everyday life, it allows us to construct new worlds with new rules, and it’s never compulsory or for profit. When we’re bombarded by media that’s designed to extract the maximum amount of profit from us, engaging with mainstream entertainment might sometimes feel not as playful or as voluntary. But by being a bit cringe, meme horror retains the appearance of being indie and just for fun even if it becomes obscenely popular.

So, for me, this is what Skibidi Toilet is about. It’s about new folklore playing the same role as old folklore, even if it looks like silly toilet men videos, because we’re essentially the same people as our ancestors telling monster stories around the fire.

[conjuremanj]

Snake Skin Oil For Protection.

I know a lot of people are afraid of snakes, but it is important to understand that in many cultures, serpent have ties to the cycle of life, death and rebirth.

Before monotheism, snake worship was nearly universal. A symbol of the Great Goddess in Old Europe, Fertility icon in Southeast Asia, Creator- Damballah in Africa, A representation of the celestial equator in Mayan archaeoastronomy, A companion to the God Shiva in India, The "adversary" of human beings in Judaism and Christianity (devil) even Native Americans history.

Jewelry from snakes (like the eyes) were also worn for protection.

So when we look at serpents remember that our ancestors were one with nature and uses snakes is to utilize the energy to keep away the negative people from your lives, Such as family, friends etc. In the south we called this 'A Snake In The Grass' (it's a southern term meaning like mice or rats they come in your live and disrupts it) The ones that only think about them selves.

Snakes are considered spirits of nature and have been used in magic for a long time. It's used in spells and rituals in Hoodoo, Voodoo, Witchcraft and maybe more.

What Can Snake Skin Do: The skin of a snake can be used to reverse bad luck, hexes and curses. As well as to hex, and curse another. It can undo and do onto others. Snake Skin can also be used for Protection from others. It can be used to anoint an object to keep it from being touched by.

What's The Difference Between Regular Protection Oil Vs Snake Skin Oil? Regular Protection Oil can help protect you from bad or negative energies. Snake Skin Oil can help force out those energies.

For this working I'm going to show you how to make snake oil for Protection. When making it snake oil it really depends on what it is going to be used for and that will determine what other ingredients are going in with it.

Snake Skin Oil For Protection:

Get some snake skin (you can buy it) put it in a bottle of oil.

Pray the 23rd Psalms. Then place it in a dark place for 3 days. After the 3 days take it out.

That's it.

Like I sayed adding the correct ingredients depends on what's it used for as you can I added a herb with the snake skin for protection.

The best way to spiritually work with anything in nature whether it be animal, mineral, or plant is to study its character and understand its natural power.

[imtrashraccoon]

Slightly shorter one today, sorry about that. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

@scrambledmeggys

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Day 11: Gym

Round One: Fight!

As soon as the announcer finished speaking, both Sans and Frisk immediately started mashing buttons on their controllers. You idly watched their chosen characters dart across the screen, swinging and kicking at each other wildly. Sans was definitely better than Frisk but they improved after each round until they finally won one.

"hey, do humans actually just go out and randomly get into fights?" Sans asked out of the blue. He was still focused on the game and for a moment you didn't register he'd even asked you a question.

"Um, no? Not usually anyways," you finally responded when he briefly glanced at you.

Sans paused the game and fully turned to look at you. "wait really? with how many movies and games you guys have about gettin' into fights, we always thought it was like part of your culture or somethin?" He looked like he didn't believe you, which confused you even further.

Even Frisk looked slightly confused and you noticed they frowned slightly as they considered what he'd asked.

"Well I guess it technically is? It's more fun to watch fights where no one is in actual danger though. While humans do get into fights, quite a bit actually, unless you live in a neighborhood with a lot of gangs, you'd likely never see anyone get into an actual fight. Even when we do fight, most of the time they aren't to the death, although that does happen."

Sans seemed surprised and he glanced at Frisk, who shrugged in response. "ya don't say..." he muttered quietly.

Papyrus huffed, "Well That Explains Some Things..." He put his hand on your shoulder and you caught the faintest of a smile on his face when you glanced over your shoulder at him.

Sans chuckled, "yeah, i found it strange how you two were actin' like a bunch of pacifists back when we first met. guess i was wrong though since ya really are pacifists."

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him. "I mean, I wouldn't personally call myself a Pacifist. It's not like I'm opposed to fighting if I have to but it's a last resort sort of thing for me."

"Sounds Like You Are A Pacifist To Me," Papyrus teased, eliciting a grumble of annoyance from you. Changing the topic, he asked, "So What Do Humans Even Do If They Do Not Have To Be Ready For A Fight All The Time?"

You sighed, choosing not to pursue their pestering further. "Well, not everyone is fortunate enough to not have to worry about that, but where Frisk and I are from, humans do normal things. They have jobs, they go places to have fun like the beach or amusement parks, or they work on hobbies.

Growing thoughtful, you added, "Some humans actually practice fighting as a hobby, even if they'll never get into an actual fight, while some just like to go to gyms to work out."

The brothers both seemed intrigued, although Papyrus seemed especially interested. "What Are Gyms? I Understand The Concept Of Working Out, Although I Believe It Is Different For Humans Than Monsters, As While We Can Benefit From Gaining Physical Strength, We Rely More On Magic When It Comes To An Actual Fight."

You explained the concept of a gym to the best of your ability, like the different types of work out machines and what the inside of the building was usually like. You also gave a brief rundown on the types of people that frequented them like gym rats or social media influencers. While you'd never actually set foot inside a gym, you'd definitely considered it before, but you'd always been too busy to actually commit to it.

"You know," you started to say to Papyrus after both Sans and Frisk had returned to their game. "If the barrier is broken any time soon, I'll totally take you to a gym sometime so you can see it for yourself."

He smiled slightly, "I Think, I Would Like That, Precious..." Although his smile fell once you'd turned your attention back to the match between Frisk and Sans again.

While it would be nice to go to the surface, he didn't have high hopes that it would happen for a long time. Still, he kept that thought to himself, as there was no need to ruin this sweet moment. He would find a way to make it happen, he just wasn't sure how just yet.

[disappearinginq]

Once a great while back you’d given outline of plot /character details for your original stories. I didn’t find it but I don’t know for sure if it was tagged/what it was tagged. Do you happen to remember the post or feel like giving an update on your original work?

There are in fact, four of them, which I largely refer to by the main characters in them. And despite the fact that they sound like romantic pairs, they are not.

There's Tally and Lir - set in a fantasy Ireland (I have not picked a name), Tally is one of the travellers and she and her family are essentially a traveling circus (leaning into family history here). This one I basically decided to flip a lot of tropes or things we see in popular fantasy/romantasy. Like Tally and Lir are not romantically involved. At all. People don't even comment on it. Lir is an amnesiac she fishes out of the river one morning, and her family basically rolls with it, assuming he's a deserter from the army. It also borrows heavily from Celtic and Irish mythology, and like how I write fanfic, I skip all over the place when writing this and I am discovering this is a really bad way to do it. So I'm trying work on linear story writing for it.

Sweeping vague overview: Tally tries to keep Lir out of the hands of the army, and the more time she spends with him, she suspects that he's not just a deserter, because the military is really scorching the earth trying to locate him.

Samson and Delilah - Yes, that's really their names. Delilah was the name of a beloved contraband pet rat I had in college and I just liked the name, and Samson gets his name because he refuses to tell her his real one for like 90% of the story. This one was based off a thought I had on the nature of redemption, and if I could make a truly unlikable character someone you could like by the end, even if you could understand where she was coming from. This has gone through a fair amount of revising - I got 30k words in, reread it as a whole, and realized nothing fucking happened. So I had to create some stakes, a ticking clock, motivation for one half of these characters, etc. And then there wound up being some serious world building going on that I did not expect, but I think it helps the story considerably.

Sweeping vague overview: a girl makes a pact with a demon to get revenge for herself and her murdered family, and the demon realizes that she might actually be the worse of the two of them. The redemptive power of friendship and platonic unconditional love saves the day.

Lucian and Ben: This one is steampunk Batman. And no, I will not be elaborating.

Nate and Rue - space western, which requires an ungodly amount of world building, to the point I've decided that this is Firefly territory, not Star Trek/Wars, because I am not coming up with alien species, languages, or cultures. Transportation is an unforseen nuisance. This is also one that started off as a 100% slapstick parody story. And then I decided that Rue and Nate really deserved some actual attention and effort, because they're a lot of fun. These two are 100% (again, platonic) soul mates to the point of codepency thanks to a shared childhood trauma. However, they're wildly different people - which I mostly decided on because I got really irritated at the idea that people kept trying to pedal to me that you can only be friends (or even speak to someone) who agrees 100% with you on 100% of things. And these two? Do not. One is a space pirate reject from the equivalent of Star Fleet Academy, and the other one is a science officer in said Star Fleet knockoff (really, it's the American military complex, and I decided that the basis of it was 'What if Star Fleet wasn't the good guys?'). This is another requiring a lot of logistics that my friends have been obnoxiously helpful with and solve like 2 years of my problems in one simple question and I love them for it while I scream into the void WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS THIS EASY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME?!

Sweeping vague overview: that shared childhood trauma is not so much a thing of the past as both of them wished it was, and they have to work together again to stop the Bad Guy who seems to be gaining popularity and making other people question if he's Really That Bad? (yes, he is, he so fucking is)

Anyway. The vague original fic updates that I really should be working on, but fanfic is soooo alluring and beckons to me.

[faggotryandtransjesterism]

i've been thinking about people who write hannibal fics, and how incorporating will's louisiana upbringing could be so hard if you didn't grow up there, and it just so happens that i did grow up there! so i'm making a little list of things about louisiana that people might not know. go forth and write cajun will graham!

food: first off, there's a lot of things that are very specific to poor people in louisiana. i didn't realize until relatively recently that these weren't things everyone ate. molasses and milk (poor man's chocolate milk. honey and milk also is a thing, but molasses is more common bc of all the cane fields.) actually, let me just get a whole category out of the way: put everything in milk. cornbread and milk (with honey or sugar dumped in to sweeten it, this is a whole meal, we used to eat this for dinner), oats and milk (raw oats. with sugar.), crackers and milk (saltines. i'm not joking.), literally put any carb in milk and that's a cajun dish. dinner foods you see a lot of are things like jambalaya, gumbo (pro tip, gumbo is always better on the second and third day, and you eat it with potato salad), etouffee (if you look this up, you'll see a lot of fancy shit, this is not fancy. it's the slimiest gravy pot full of meat and veggies.) everything has rice, you can't eat dinner without rice. sweet potatoes are big, a lot more common than regular ones. okra is also very very common.

environment: we all know louisiana has a lot of bayous, but a lot of people have never seen one i guess? and have no idea what that looks like. it's not like shrek swamp kind of deal. the water's not that filthy most of the time, at least not to look at. you've got a lot of foliage on top of the water mostly. cypress trees are the big thing that makes a bayou look like a bayou. cypress trees with spanish moss all over them. the line between a bayou and a lake isn't big, and a lot of them are connected. also. (about to tell you something that will blow your mind.) swamps are full of nutria rats. (but percy, what are nutria rats? (pronounced noo-tra rats)) they look like small capybaras with long thick tails, and by small i mean they gut up to 20 pounds. 3 feet. they're actually adorable though. alligators are common, they're not aggressive, you just have to keep an eye on them. there's usually saw palmettos around the edges of the water. outside of swamps, though, something you'll notice is there are sugar cane fields everywhere. there's also live oak trees, which if you've never seen, are beautiful. they do exist in other places, but they grow differently in louisiana bc of all the water. they have enormous, sweeping branches that dip down onto the ground sometimes, and they're (once again) full of spanish moss.

culture: in louisiana, some people speak cajun french. this is not the same as parisian french, and it's not always mutually intelligible. also, there's really very few people left who speak it, and it's mostly older folks. for example, my grandpa learned french before he learned english, but he didn't pass it on to his kids, and now he has very few people to speak it with. cajun music is a pretty unique thing, you've usually got an accordion, a fiddle, a bass, that kind of thing. some songs off the top of my head are jolie blonde, opelousas sostan, the boscoe stomp; there's also a lot of instrumental music, because it's all actually dancing music! cajun dancing is a whole thing that, once again, is dying out and mostly older folks know how to do it (my grandparents took me dancing all the time, so that, at least, i know). you might be able to look it up, but keep in mind, if you see something that looks more like square dancing, that's not what i'm talking about. (if you want a demo send me an ask lol, i can explain. in the meantime, i used to dance at randol's in lafayette, and the best band was donny broussard, so look those up on youtube if you want to hear cajun music.) zydeco is a whole other genre, and honestly not one i know much about, but it is an integral part of cajun culture.

that's all i can think of for now, but if i think of anything else, i'll add on. if you have any questions, my ask box is open!

[blackghostm2o]

I’ve seen Dario Argento’s “PotO”, it fucking sucks :) end of my ramblings

Ok… Not really…. Really long yapping session, so beware.

First of all I fucking hate how it says that it was partly funded by our (Italian) government, haha between this shit, Papmusic and Gioventù ribelle (a game) I’m starting to think that this is just a way to clean some dirty money… How tf do you even fund all this shit??? The 3 things that I’ve mentioned are all abysmal and almost feel like scams.

Abandoned this part of me being mad at our government for investing in shitty stuff while also cutting funding for our culture related things, we can talk about the movie (btw I’ve seen it in Italian)

I HATE CHRISTINE! I DON’T BELIEVE THAT I’VE HATED HER CHARACTER MORE THAN THIS. Like the rat catcher said SHE’S A FUCKING WHORE, my goodness gracious… Can we all talk about how she always looks ready to moan every fucking time she kisses someone? Also in the whole harem thing, her being NASTY AF? And I know that’s just Raoul’s wet dreams, but FOR FUCK’S SAKE DARIO! YOU ARE FILMING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER BEING FREAKY! My God… She fucking with the RAT (I won’t call that mf Erik). And her being so in love with him, but at the same time she isn’t??? Huh?? And I was annoyed by Kay!Christine, here she is worse. I wanted her to stfu, I wanted to punch her so bad you have no idea…

Raoul Raoul… What can I say about him? The two barely have something together. At the bar (?) he got friend zoned so hard that he reached brother status… Him at the harem was horrible “Whee whee I wAnT cHriStiNe!” His hair was horrible, his “beard” was horrible, his character was inexistent. Useless.

Everyone was so mean to LaCarlotta for no reason, “Oh tHaT CoW” “oH sHe LoOkS LiKe sHiT” “Oh ShE CaN’T sinG”. She wasn’t really that bad, she wasn’t a complete asshole like 1990 Carlotta and also I’d be always mad too if everyone was so heartless with me. I LOVED that they made her napoletana, hilarious but not in a bad way.

They put Degas here for no reason

One of the directors is a fucking pedophile for no reason, he gets killed (thank goodness) and no one even acknowledges it. The ex director dies in front of the new ones and they just stand there and watch him slowly die (like wtf???).

The dude that was cut in a half at the start of the movie was so fucking funny, lmfao.

Now we talk about the RatFucker… He was putting a rat in his pants… Hence the name people gave him. The was SAVED BY RATS WHEN HE WAS A KID ABANDONED IN A DAMNED RIVER!!! And lived with them… So… How did he even learn to write, to talk and to play the organ? Ahh, we don’t know. This mf HAS NO DEFORMITY, I guess that the true distortion lied on his soul *wink wink* and I also find it really annoying how nasty looking he is. This man has no drip! Where is the masked man that behaved like a gentleman (when not angered obviously ) and had finesse? That charming asshole? Apparently not here. No lasso, here we kill like rats! You heard me right, we go and eat people, we BITE THEIR TONGUES OUT (I had to stop the movie to process that fucking scene, it was too unexpected) and occasionally stab them. He also seems to have some kind of powers? Idk, strange shit. He doesn’t actually teach anything, he just uses his fantastic powers to make Christine sing well. He is to sexual… I don’t like it.I was SO HAPPY WHEN THEY KILLED HIM!!! FINALLY!!! HE DESERVED IT!

This movie has so mach sex and nudity, why? Why would you need something like this in a poto movie? You had no decent plot so you went “Well… Let’s put some sex and some tits, but also dicks (we can’t let the women feel left out), people love it!”

This is not a poto adaptation, it retains basically nothing from its original, they could’ve called it something else and it would have still worked.

I hated LND, but this shit it’s even worse. DO NOT WATCH IT, SAVE YOUR EYES FROM THIS! I’ve lost precious time watching this dogshit movie.

It’s almost 3am… God…

Bye

[bohemian-nights]

one of the things that frustrated me the most about Hotd S1 is how dumbnyra is passed off as "soulmates/one true love" while messing with their other relationships, which I don't know if it's intentional, but it seems to repeat the pattern, and I think that was...lazy. criston and mysaria are the people they have sex with on screen, but "end" in bitter terms (coincidence that criston is a POC and Mysaria played by an asian woman? Hmm) harwin and laena are they long-time lover/wife they flirt in episode 5 and they are together for exactly 10 years (judging by the age of the children, conception probably synchronized🥴) and as if that weren't enough, they both die by fire. the only break in this pattern would be Netty, but now I'm afraid they'll ruin that in dumbnyra's favor by giving netty's agency to rhaenyra and daemon's as well, since he's looking more like Rhaenyra's watchdog than the rogue prince that we know, seriously, his peak in the first season was the fight on stepstones

The show is racist(yeah the way they approached Mysaria and Criston was messed up especially in Mysaria’s case since they took away elements of her story and made her speak in that atrocious accent, but it’s not my culture so I’m not really going to speak on it) and especially anti-Black as hell(which I will speak on especially since they seem to have a problem specifically with Black women; see how they screwed over Laena at every turn by turning her into an unloved unwanted woman the moment they race bent her, and the fandom literally celebrated it because they are anti-Black too), but they passed off Dumbnyra as soulmates?🥴

I have a hard time believing this when Daemon literally choked Rhaenyra out in the finale(which isn’t book canon which means they chose to write this and put it in there when they didn’t have to). Mind you this happened after she just gave birth to lizard and she just lost her father. He also keeps abandoning her every five seconds, and though they screwed over his relationship with Laena they actually wound up cutting down Dumbnyra’s time together(and he was shown to be softer with Laena ironically; yes the bar is in hell, but its something 🤷🏽‍♀️).

Plus older!Rhaenyra and Daemon have exactly 0 chemistry which does matter since a major component of romance is yah know chemistry (which is another reason why their fans are always whining, over-compensating, backtracking after they said Rhaenyra would change Daemon so now they say that they love toxicity, and obsessing over Laena and Nettles even though they are “irrelevant and meant nothing” to Daemon🙃).

If that’s them turning Dumbnyra into soulmates I’d like to see what they would do to show that Daemon doesn’t give a rats a** about Rhaenyra🤣 What have him return from the Battle Above the Gods Eye and un-alive her himself🤣(lol Dumbnyra stans would still find someway to turn it into a win).

With Nettles I’ll remain cautiously optimistic cause if they screw her over it is misogynoir and the second Black love interest they screwed over due to their own biases(and the show would need to be called out and threatened with a boycott for that), but it won’t be because of them making Dumbnyra into soulmates.*

*At least this isn’t the way I’d write soulmates(hell one of my other OTPs, Olitz, had major problems, but even at their most toxic, Fitz never choked out Olivia. Shonda knew not to do that). So if this is the writer's attempt at doing that then they truly are certifiably insane in addition to being racist c*nts.

[juststayquiete]

OC interview

stole from @rosapexa!!!

People usually don't ask me personal questions if they don't want to have additional holes in their bodies but I'll make an excuse for you this time.

Name: is V, that's all you need to know. People who called me by my real name are dead anyways.

Nickname: Val. which is for my chooms only. No, you ain't one of them, dude.

Gender: female.

Star Sign: I... actually have no fucking idea. That's Misty's field of expertise, I'll ask her next time we meet. My BOD is the 20th of April.

Height: 175 cm.

Orientation: bi ace.

Nationality/Ethnicity: oh, this one is gonna be disappointing. I have no idea since my mom was kidnapped when she was a kid and my father is out of picture. Even if my mom's name is her real one, we never had the ties to some culture that felt like it was our own.

Fave Fruit: you mean cloned ones? I'm not really fan of them, they taste weird.

Fave Season: come on, we live in Night City, I'm happy enough if there are no acid rains, dust storms or smog.

Fave Flower: fave what? Ask copro-rats, they love this shit.

Fave Scent: the freshness after the rain, coffee, cigarette smoke.

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Meh, soda! That's my 5th can today, by the way.

Average hours of sleep: lately I sleep 4-5 hours a day. Which sucks, if you ask me.

Dog or Cat person: never saw a dog in my life but kinda accidentally adopted a cat. His name is Nibbles and he can see the ghosts.

Dream trip: I wish I could travel together with my choom from the Aldecaldos.

Favorite fictional character: hmmm... KAED3 from Bushido 3 played by Miho Aichi. I love how she is cute but brutal and badass at the same time. Also the way she fights - fucking amazing.

Number of blankets they sleep with: One. Do people have more?

Random fact: for some reason I learned that you can't use weird BDs from the streets hard way...

Tagging whoever wants to participate too <3333

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Karkat Vantas

Act 6, page 4696-4721

DAVE: hey

ROSE: Sup.

DAVE: anyone seen terezi around

ROSE: No.

ROSE: Why?

DAVE: we were gonna do a thing

DAVE: but shes not around and not answering my messages

DAVE: on any one of the probably ten thousand computers lying around that they would show up on

ROSE: A thing?

DAVE: yes a thing

ROSE: I see.

DAVE: shut up

DAVE: what about you have you seen her

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: Have You Seen Gamzee

DAVE: are you serious

DAVE: of course not

DAVE: i havent seen that guy at all since the first day we got here

DAVE: not once

KANAYA: Yeah

KANAYA: I Know

DAVE: talk about an elusive juggalo

DAVE: probably like the shyest fuckin juggalo of all time

DAVE: im pretty sure only karkats seen him

DAVE: dont expect him to rat him out either because of the "morail" junk

DAVE: moirail?

DAVE: mwah rail...

DAVE: alien words

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Expect Him To

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Even Ask It Would Be Really Bad Form To Ask Him That

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean i bet you think youre imparting some really obscure cultural fact about trolls

DAVE: but really if a human said to another human

DAVE: "hey man can you tell me where your best clown friend is hiding so i can go chainsaw him to death"

DAVE: just fyi that would probably be bad form too

KANAYA: Okay

DAVE: i dunno its been a year already i think hes really intent on hiding

DAVE: and hanging on to those dead bodies

DAVE: hes probably scared to death of you at this point anyway

DAVE: maybe you should just let it go

KANAYA: Hmm

DAVE: rose back me up

ROSE: I try to stay out of troll interpersonal politics.

DAVE: interpersonal

DAVE: wait

DAVE: are you saying this is like

DAVE: a spade quadrant thing

DAVE: is she trying to be his kismet fish

ROSE: I'm saying no such thing!

DAVE: well if she hates him isnt that what that means

ROSE: Dave, don't be a dick. You're embarrassing her.

DAVE: haha no im not shes cool

DAVE: look shes being cool about it

KANAYA: Im Being Cool About It

DAVE: see????

KANAYA: Its Not Like That

KANAYA: I Just Want To Find Him

KANAYA: And

KANAYA: At Least Wound Him Somewhat

DAVE: yeah see i knew there had to be a perfectly harmless and unerotic explanation

ROSE: (shh!)

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly

KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically

KANAYA: Just

KANAYA: Fuck That Guy

DAVE: got it

DAVE: so what are you up to in here

DAVE: whats with all these books

ROSE: Research.

ROSE: We're trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

ROSE: You are aware this meteor has many secret rooms scattered throughout, including libraries, right?

DAVE: hell yeah

DAVE: we looted one of them for the can town project

ROSE: Can Town?

DAVE: i told you about can town didnt i

ROSE: No??

DAVE: well

DAVE: the thing about can town

DAVE: and all there really is to say about can town is

DAVE: its awesome

DAVE: the end???

ROSE: Wow.

ROSE: What a story.

DAVE: fu

DAVE: so

DAVE: what is the point of this research

ROSE: Primarily to gain a more thorough understanding of the situation we'll be entering when we arrive.

DAVE: i thought you pretty much already knew the situation

DAVE: since you can see the future

ROSE: Oh my God.

ROSE: I've told you. I can't see the future!

DAVE: yes you can

DAVE: you totally can

ROSE: Ok. But not all of it. Only certain relevant pieces.

ROSE: It's a bit frustrating when people make that presumption about you.

ROSE: For instance, you are a Knight of Time. Since you have such mastery over time, doesn't that mean you should know everything about the future too?

DAVE: no thats totally dumb

DAVE: i could know things about the future if i time traveled and found out first hand

DAVE: nobodys mistaking that about me im a time traveler not a fuckin fortune teller its simple as shit

ROSE: Right. So there are significant limitations on what you can know, governed by certain rules.

ROSE: That's how it is for a Seer too.

DAVE: ok whatever

ROSE: But I will say that I have been able to use these abilities to assist with research.

ROSE: I can treat my finite glimpses as an additional source of information.

ROSE: If you combine that with the knowledge we've gathered from these texts, and things we've learned from our various encounters with the deceased, with a bit of inference and deduction, a more detailed picture is coming into focus.

DAVE: nice

ROSE: Do you want to hear about it?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: now?

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: Why not? It's been a year.

ROSE: It seems like all we've done on this trip so far is indulge in lavish interior decoration projects and screw around with mysterious "Can Town" initiatives, which may or may not be consuming valuable library resources as building materials.

ROSE: We could make at least some effort to squeeze in annual briefings on our objective.

DAVE: yeah that would be pretty legit of us

ROSE: I think you'll find that when it comes to striving for a reasonable approximation of legitimacy, we are simply the most barely adequate there is.

DAVE: ok i didnt really catch any of that bullshit cause i wasnt listening

DAVE: im gonna make myself a cup of coffee and get primed to listen to you saying a lot of stuff like that

DAVE: do you want some

ROSE: Um. Sure.

DAVE: kanaya?

KANAYA: No Thank You

DAVE: ok

DAVE: ...

DAVE: this fuckin thing

DAVE: where did you even unearth this piece of shit from

DAVE: oh ok there it goes

DAVE: two hot revitalizing cups of shitty coffee

DAVE: fresh out of the weird pod

DAVE: why do we even drink this shit

DAVE: i guess just cause this thing is here

DAVE: like somehow the temptation is even stronger because the coffee sucks?

DAVE: dunno how the fuck that works

DAVE: wish there was such a thing as apple juice on troll world

DAVE: could go for a bottle of aj

DAVE: i wonder if theres any booze squirreled away on this meteor

DAVE: kinda feels like we should be drinking our asses off here

DAVE: no adults nothing to do

DAVE: thats what you do without adults right

DAVE: get wasted all the time?

DAVE: wait what the fuck am i saying trolls dont even have adults

DAVE: well they do

DAVE: but theyre all in outer space being insane badasses

DAVE: i guess they do have the stupid nanny monsters

DAVE: do the monsters give a shit if they get wasted

ROSE: Are you talking to us?

DAVE: what

ROSE: We can't even hear you mumbling over there.

DAVE: oh

ROSE: How's that coffee coming?

DAVE: off the shit is how

DAVE: all being like

DAVE: in cups and everything

ROSE: Be sure it makes it to the table before it accumulates that strange unctuous film on the surface.

DAVE: so whats with the big book youre writing in

DAVE: is that more wizard fan fiction

ROSE: No, it's something like an extensive journal.

ROSE: I'm recording everything we've been through so far, and detailed notes on everything we know about the game.

ROSE: I'm also using it to document our research, and extrapolate on the new session and players.

DAVE: so its like

DAVE: your nigh unreadable gamefaq

DAVE: in tome form

ROSE: Somewhat.

DAVE: you sure like to write big game guides

ROSE: I don't look at it that way.

ROSE: I'm approaching it from a standpoint of responsible historical documentation.

ROSE: Don't you think people in the future will want to know about our story?

DAVE: i guess

ROSE: I think it could be a very useful resource some day.

ROSE: It could be helpful to others beginning their own quests.

DAVE: ehh

DAVE: chances of that seem pretty remote

KANAYA: I Really Wouldnt Rule It Out

DAVE: ok totally sold on that suddenly

DAVE: on account of not caring

DAVE: so tell me about the new session

DAVE: what is there to know

DAVE: and most importantly

DAVE: how is everything going to go wrong this time

ROSE: From what I understand, everything already has gone wrong before the game even started, in many different ways than ours did.

ROSE: There are indications of thicker political intrigue. Assassination attempts. And a usurpation of the throne more insidious than what we dealt with.

ROSE: But those examples still don't illustrate the fundamental fault with their session.

ROSE: Ours had a similar fault. It was a null session.

ROSE: Literature on the subject says null sessions are actually very common.

ROSE: It is any session resulting in failure, and as such, designed to result in failure from the start, due to Skaia's comprehensive "knowledge" of its own fate, and that of all it illumines.

ROSE: Biologically speaking, it's to be expected that null sessions far outnumber the successful ones. When it comes to reproductive systems, overwhelming redundancy is commonplace.

ROSE: A universe has a reproductive system that spreads many seeds, as it were, most of which never come to fruition. So we shouldn't feel too bad about our results, really. It was quite par for the course.

ROSE: But then, it would also seem that exceedingly few null sessions result in the birth of a massive green star fueled by two dead universes. For what it's worth.

DAVE: ok but i thought the whole point of this

DAVE: the scratch thing

DAVE: is it gave us a chance to still win

DAVE: but youre saying the new session has a fault too?

ROSE: Well, yes. There's more to it though.

ROSE: The new session is essentially our session, rebooted with different parameters which also affected the original conditions of our universe.

ROSE: And strangely, it seems the new one is a null session as well, but within a much less common subset of all null sessions.

ROSE: This one is referred to as a void session.

DAVE: ok

DAVE: which is what

ROSE: It's very simply a session in which nothing is prototyped before entry, at all.

ROSE: Hence, by Skaia's preemptive all-knowing and its influence on the rest of the incipisphere, there are not even any towers on Prospit or Derse built to receive the split kernels.

ROSE: See?

DAVE: weird

DAVE: why would these alt universe players fuck up in such an obvious and stupid way

ROSE: I don't know what specifically led to the failure to prototype anything.

ROSE: But it doesn't really matter. As I said, the session was designed this way before they began playing. Any efforts to prototype may have been in vain regardless. Possibly subject to sabotage.

DAVE: didnt you say at some point that not prototyping anything would be really bad

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: It's just another way to create an infertile session. Though by a less catastrophic and bloody route we took to achieve the same result.

ROSE: By contrast, it leads to a rather harmless, uneventful session. Underlings remain unaugmented, and so does the royalty.

ROSE: And while this may sound advantageous to the players, it's a curse in disguise. The lack of prototypings which keeps adversaries unevolved has the same influence on the battlefield.

ROSE: Without successive prototypings, the battlefield will never reach its final form, which must be fertilized to grow a new universe.

ROSE: Instead, it remains in its most basic form, stuck in eternal stalemate.

ROSE: There is nothing players in a void session can do to change this. They are resigned to live out the rest of their days in a dead end session.

DAVE: still waiting to hear how this is in any way an improvement on all the shit we just escaped from

ROSE: It's a vast improvement.

ROSE: The new session is a blank slate, without a ridiculously short time limit for victory like ours had.

ROSE: There will be no time limit at all, in fact.

ROSE: Once we arrive, ostensibly that is when the nature of the session will change.

ROSE: It won't be classifiable as either a null or void session anymore. It will be something which, as far as I can tell, is unique.

ROSE: The fully matured battlefield from our session can be used to make the new one viable. The path to success will be made possible by a combination of efforts and assets from both iterations.

ROSE: Usually scratched sessions are absolute resets, and involve no direct influence from the first attempt at all. I can't find any precedent for our situation.

DAVE: jade has our battlefield right

ROSE: Yes.

DAVE: so she shows up and drops it in skaia

DAVE: and then we take the result of all that damn frog breeding we did and stick the thing in there somehow

DAVE: and we sit back and wait for it to do its huge ribbit or whatever

DAVE: and were golden

ROSE: Pretty much.

ROSE: As long as there is an actual vacancy in the center of Skaia when we get there.

DAVE: is that going to be a problem

ROSE: I don't think so.

ROSE: Even if it were, it would be a trivial obstacle.

ROSE: But as it is, I think the forces opposing these players are clandestinely working toward the same goal as we are.

ROSE: From what I can tell, gestures of antagonism, while certainly posing legitimate danger, have been factored in as critical stepping stones to one destination shared by all parties.

ROSE: I don't know why this is, or what the motives are yet.

ROSE: The appearance is one of clear sailing ahead, but traces of conspiracy are everywhere.

DAVE: ok but

DAVE: conspiracies aside

DAVE: did it ever really look like clear sailing to you

DAVE: thats not what i was seeing

DAVE: we are going to arrive and then soon after jack is going to show up

DAVE: and then we have to beat him right

DAVE: so there kind of is a time limit

ROSE: Yes, we will have to deal with Jack before all is said and done.

ROSE: And that will definitely be a major challenge.

ROSE: But it is not impossible. At least, not by design.

ROSE: When I said there would be no time limit in this session, I was talking about something more specific.

ROSE: There will be no reckoning.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: why not

ROSE: It's a logical consequence of any void session.

ROSE: The battlefield never evolves, and therefore the more extensive war between Prospit and Derse never takes shape.

ROSE: It is only when the Prospitian king falls in battle that the reckoning can be initiated by the forces of Derse.

ROSE: The meteors then rush to destroy the battlefield, while Skaia redirects them through defense portals for as long as it can.

ROSE: Thus, if there is no war, there is no reckoning, no meteors, and no imminent threat of failure.

ROSE: This is of course good news for Earth as well. During the reckoning, Skaia redirects all incoming meteors to the only place it can. Earth.

ROSE: So it turns out that players who initiate a void session are not actually condemning their home planet to an apocalyptic wasteland after they leave.

ROSE: In the new instance of our universe, Earth is just fine.

ROSE: Sort of.

DAVE: so

DAVE: no meteors came at all

DAVE: you mean by fucking up and having to scratch we also sort of saved earth in the process

ROSE: Again: sort of.

ROSE: And it's not that there were no meteors whatsoever.

ROSE: Just the vast majority of the destructive onslaught never showed up.

ROSE: But delivering the temple to the site of the forge is still integral to jumpstarting the session.

ROSE: That meteor however could have been propelled through a portal by any means, not just via the reckoning.

DAVE: i see

DAVE: what about the players themselves

DAVE: they had to arrive on meteors too didnt they

DAVE: i guess the baby meteors were some exceptions too right

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: But they weren't flung through portals in their own session, nor will they be created there.

ROSE: They were created in our session, and sent back through our portals. Just like us.

DAVE: ................

ROSE: To understand what happened, it really helps to understand exactly what a scratch is.

ROSE: When John severely damaged the Beat Mesa on your planet, and sent it off to Skaia to release its temporal energy there, you could view it as a kind of "request."

ROSE: We were asking Skaia to change everything at a fundamental level, and we gave it the energy to do so.

ROSE: But Skaia is a very passive entity. It only "knows" and "sees," but it never quite "acts."

ROSE: When it is asked to change everything, there is only so much it has control over.

ROSE: In fact, it has control over exactly one thing. The defense portals.

ROSE: It can decide to send important meteors to different points in time than originally planned, thus creating alternate realities.

ROSE: Offshoots of promise, rather than futility.

ROSE: And it turns out the most important meteors of all tend to be the ones delivering the young players to their planet.

ROSE: So all it has to do to change everything is tweak their destination times a bit.

ROSE: All internally-prompted changes in the post-scratch universe are decided entirely by this modest adjustment to the parameters.

ROSE: It's a very simple concept, actually.

ROSE: Yet the consequences are dramatic. It results in not only a hard reset for the session, but a partial reset for the universe too, due to the many causal entanglements between a session and its originating universe.

DAVE: what do you mean tweak the destination times

DAVE: where did they get sent to

ROSE: A variety of different time periods.

ROSE: The simplest way to way to look at it is to picture the original destinations of our two groups of four ecto-babies...

ROSE: And switch them.

DAVE: what

ROSE: Though this is just a slight oversimplification.

ROSE: While it's roughly true, Skaia had some peculiar whims this time.

ROSE: While most landed in time periods corresponding with the original group,

ROSE: It seems that two of the new players arrived four centuries ahead of everyone else.

ROSE: For some bizarre reason.

DAVE: uh

ROSE: But they're still apparently able to communicate with their coplayers through I guess some Trollian-like technology, and they're still able to establish game connections with the others. So this stands as an odd but not otherwise terribly significant detail.

DAVE: so

DAVE: uh

DAVE: in this alt universe group of us and

DAVE: them

DAVE: which ones are the actual players

ROSE: I'll give you a hint.

ROSE: It isn't us.

DAVE: fuck

DAVE: why did i know that was gonna be the answer

ROSE: And to think that usually I'm the one accused of knowing the future.

DAVE: i dunno if im ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit

ROSE: You would find it less disconcerting if the players were alternate versions of us?

DAVE: man

DAVE: at least im used to dealing with alt daves

DAVE: ive been fuck deep in alt daves before

DAVE: its a goddamn delight if you want to know the truth

DAVE: but i dont even know what to think about...

ROSE: What?

ROSE: Meeting a deceased figure of authority as a peer?

DAVE: lets not even talk about it ok

DAVE: can we slow down this meteor

DAVE: delay the meetup

DAVE: maybe fight jack for a little while

ROSE: I honestly thought you would find the idea exciting.

ROSE: I know I'm looking forward to it.

DAVE: but your mom was just a nice alcoholic spinster who liked wizards who you complained about for no reason

DAVE: she wasnt anything like an untouchable master of irony who could replace the meat in your sandwich before it even occurred to you what the fuck you were chewing

DAVE: let me ask you this did your mom ever wiggle a puppet in your face even ONCE

ROSE: Not that I recall.

ROSE: But anecdotes like that just make me more curious to meet him, personally.

DAVE: fine well you can be on bro duty then

DAVE: ill be the ambassador to your mom

DAVE: and no that wasnt actually meant as the sick burn it sounded like

ROSE: She's your mom too, though.

DAVE: yeah i know

DAVE: ill be the ambassador to my mom then

DAVE: that sounds pretty stupid when i say it that way

DAVE: whatever

DAVE: ill be the fuckin one man welcome wagon for the john and jade teen old people and also our mom thats the plan

DAVE: so when we finally see them we can get our shit into formation like trained acrobats

DAVE: like ill blow a whistle and we make a human pyramid got it

DAVE: that way we can totally avoid anything awkward

ROSE: You do realize we've seen her already, right?

DAVE: what

DAVE: when

ROSE: Months ago.

ROSE: In a dream.

ROSE: She was floating along in Derse pajamas, asleep.

DAVE: wait that was her

ROSE: Yes.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: huh

DAVE: .....

ROSE: You're wondering why I didn't tell you?

DAVE: no

ROSE: You're specifically wondering why I wasn't forthcoming with an answer to your question at the time, "hey who was that choice babe in the pajamas?"

DAVE: god fucking dammit

ROSE: You don't find it nostalgic at all?

ROSE: Retracing the steps of some of our Freudian semi-blunders in conversations past?

DAVE: no what a load of shit

DAVE: stuff said between you and me before we knew we were related

DAVE: we both know that was a lot of horseplay bullfuckery between like smartass 10 year olds or whatever

DAVE: you cant seriously have taken any of that seriously

ROSE: ;)

DAVE: ugh dont ever do that

DAVE: all these fuckin

DAVE: momtraps and sistertraps

DAVE: what a joke i hope skaia gets to have a good laugh over shit like this

DAVE: wait i forgot skaia doesnt laugh it just "sees" and "knows"

DAVE: its like a huge blue perv thats mad jazzed for kidcest

KANAYA: What Are You People Even Talking About

ROSE: ;)

DAVE: dont you wink at her

DAVE: kanaya heres a protip that wink meant jack dick shes just being weird

KANAYA: I Feel As Though This Conversation Has Utterly Outmaneuvered My Constructive Involvement

KANAYA: Im Going To Go

DAVE: yeah im pretty much ollying outie too

DAVE: got some shit to attend to

DAVE: after you

KANAYA: Augh

KANAYA: Why Does That Always Happen

KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY.

KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.

DAVE: karkat is broken guys

KARKAT: YEAH

KARKAT: OK HOLD ON

KARKAT: IF I CAN SETTLE DOWN A TICK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE MORE SENSE SHORTLY

KARKAT: JUST ONE...

KARKAT: *huff huff*

ROSE: Maybe you should lie down on the couch.

KARKAT: FUCK...

KARKAT: *wheeze*

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: dude what is the matter with you

KARKAT: WOW OK

KARKAT: THAT WAS A PRETTY TERRIBLE ENTRANCE.

KARKAT: ANYWAY

KARKAT: WHERE WAS I.

DAVE: dunno but i was just leaving

KARKAT: NOT SO FAST STRIDER, THIS HEAVILY CONCERNS YOU.

KARKAT: IT CONCERNS YOU EXCLUSIVELY IN FACT.

KARKAT: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

DAVE: just stepping out to do a thing

DAVE: which is not your business

KARKAT: LIKE MY INFLAMED QUAKING GALLSPHINCTER IT'S NOT.

KARKAT: TELL ME, ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE GOING TO HAVE SOME COMPANY WHEN YOU STEP OUT TO DO THIS "THING?"

KARKAT: NOTICE THE TWO HEAVILY DRAMATIZED "ENCLOSURE TALONS" SURROUNDING THAT WORD, WHICH I AM SCORNFULLY PANTOMIMING WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS, AS PRESENTLY BEING DEMONSTRATED FOR YOU.

DAVE: yeah sure

KARKAT: OH??

KARKAT: WHO WOULD THAT BE MAY I ASK?

DAVE: well

DAVE: probably the mayor

DAVE: hes usually down for whatever

KARKAT: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING MAYOR, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.

DAVE: hey dont be saying shit about the mayor

DAVE: the mayor rules hes like my best fucking friend

KARKAT: HE'S NOT A MAYOR. HE'S THE MAYOR OF FUCKSTICK JUNCTION LOCATED SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF PRETEND ASS NOWHERE.

DAVE: hes a mayor you douche his thing says mayor

KARKAT: IT SAYS "MAYO" AND HE WROTE THE "R" HIMSELF.

KARKAT: HE'S AT BEST A MAYO. AND WHO EVER HEARD OF A MAYO? IT'S EVERY BIT AS IMAGINARY AS HIS IDENTITY AS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL.

DAVE: no mayo is like grub sauce but without grubs

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK EVER HEARD OF GRUB SAUCE WITHOUT GRUBS??? WHAT'S IT MADE OF THEN GENIUS!

DAVE: like

DAVE: uh

DAVE: i dunno its white and it just sort of exists

DAVE: you dont ask about mayo thats not what you do with mayo

KARKAT: ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW QUICKLY YOUR BULLSHIT UNRAVELS WHEN SOMEONE INTELLIGENT ACTUALLY HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE??

KARKAT: YOU ARE FUCKING BUSTED STRIDER.

KARKAT: YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT "MAYO" AND YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT TEREZI.

DAVE: hahaha you are pathetic

DAVE: this is why you all stormed in here out of breath

DAVE: what did you actually sprint all the way across the meteor to tell me this

KARKAT: WHAT I DO WITH MY LEGS AND HOW FAST I MOVE THEM IS MY BUSINESS YOU SHIT.

DAVE: yeah and what i do with mine is mine

DAVE: watch me make them make me leave

KARKAT: I SAID STAY YOUR ASS PUT, WE'RE TALKING HERE.

DAVE: dude dont touch my cape

DAVE: ...

DAVE: huh

KARKAT: WHAT

DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it

KARKAT: OK, LOOK I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRECIOUS STUPID CAPE. JUST LISTEN.

KARKAT: BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO SNOG TEREZI IN YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE VILLAGE OF NUTRITION CYLINDERS, HEAR ME OUT.

DAVE: man

DAVE: you are so overblowing this

KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I AM!

DAVE: yeah you are

DAVE: you have some idea about us or what were getting up to

DAVE: so weve done a few things together to pass the time so what

DAVE: i dont even think you could call them dates or anything

DAVE: what the fuck would even qualify as a date on this gross dark meteor

KARKAT: DAVE, CAN WE JUST CUT THE SHIT?

KARKAT: I AM NOT AN IMBECILE. YOU ARE BOTH PLAINLY TIPPING INTO FLUSHED TERRITORY IRRESPECTIVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS OR WHATEVER LAME CONDITIONS IT IS HUMANS BELIEVE TO BE OPTIMAL FOR PURSUING A MATESPRITSHIP.

KARKAT: ANYONE CAN SEE THAT, IT'S THE SHITTIEST KEPT SECRET ON THIS METEOR. PROBABLY EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR GETS IT, AND LET'S FACE IT, HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.

KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?

DAVE: we have one of those???

KARKAT: I HAVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TROLL ROMANCE FILMS, EACH DEALING WITH TOPICS FAR MORE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX THAN YOUR PEDESTRIAN HUMAN MIND COULD EVER GRASP.

KARKAT: AND IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I'VE ALREADY WATCHED HUNDREDS OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE BUT MODERATELY ENTERTAINING ROMANCE FILMS.

KARKAT: REMEMBER HOW I DOWNLOADED A FUCK TON OF THEM AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIES? I AM A CURIOUS MAN, DAVE, YOU COULD LEARN FROM ME.

DAVE: yeah i remember

DAVE: havent you only watched a bunch of shitty dane cook movies on infinite loop since we left

KARKAT: YOU'RE SEVERELY EXAGGERATING, BUT YES I HAVE SAMPLED HIS WORK.

DAVE: dude

DAVE: you know youre only pretending to be a huge fan of his bullshit to piss me off

KARKAT: AGAIN LOOK AT HOW SELF ABSORBED YOU'RE BEING!!!

KARKAT: I HAPPEN TO THINK HE HAS A BRILLIANT COMEDIC MIND, FOR A HUMAN.

DAVE: hrnngngnngghhhh

DAVE: it turns out that exact sentence is my one weakness

DAVE: you win bro you got your girl back

KARKAT: OH SHUT UP.

KARKAT: I AM NOT HERE TO DEBATE YOU ON THE FINER POINTS OF CINEMA, OR TO "GET MY GIRL BACK."

KARKAT: HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM?

KARKAT: I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO DO THE OPPOSITE.

KARKAT: I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M TOTALLY OK WITH IT.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: ok then

KARKAT: BUT JUST LISTEN, AND TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. I KNOW THAT'S HARD FOR YOU.

KARKAT: HERE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: what the hot mess of fresh fuck am i looking at

KARKAT: IT'S AN ALTERNIAN ROMANCE NOVEL.

KARKAT: NOW LOOK, I'M NOT VOUCHING FOR THIS PARTICULAR PIECE OF LITERATURE. IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY TRASHY AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED I COULD RECOMMEND MUCH BETTER THINGS TO YOU.

KARKAT: IT'S JUST THIS ONE ILLUSTRATES THE CONCEPT VERY CLEARLY.

DAVE: what...

DAVE: "concept"

KARKAT: IT'S A PRETTY TYPICAL CASE OF QUADRANT VACILLATION AS APPLIED TO AN OVERLAPPING GROUP OF ROMANTIC PAIRINGS.

DAVE: you lost me at quadrant

DAVE: for future reference thats the word that always lets me know its time to check out of a sentence

KARKAT: WILL YOU PIPE DOWN AND JUST HEAR ME OUT.

KARKAT: IT'S REALLY SIMPLE. THINK OF IT AS BEING SIMILAR TO ONE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN LOVE TRIANGLES.

KARKAT: THOUGH THIS IS A QUADRANGLE. THOSE ARE MUCH MORE COMMON IN OUR SOCIETY AND ENTERTAINMENT, AND FOUR IS PRETTY MUCH THE MINIMUM VALUE FOR LOVE-HATE N-DRANGLES.

DAVE: n drangles

DAVE: god dammit

KARKAT: NOW HERE IS WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON WITH THIS GROUP OF CHARACTERS. PAY ATTENTION. HEY, LOOK AT ME. EYES OVER HERE. GOOD.

KARKAT: SEE THE TWO HEROES IN THE MIDDLE, PARTAKING IN THEIR FLUSHED EMBRACE? PRETTY MUCH YOUR TYPICAL LOWBLOOD REDROM PAIRING. THEIR DYNAMIC IS THE GRUBLOAF AND TUBER PASTE OF THE OVERALL ARC.

DAVE: .........

KARKAT: BUT WHAT HAVE WE HERE? THERE ARE SOME NEFARIOUS HIGHBLOODS IN THE PICTURE TOO. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING.

KARKAT: THE GUY ON THE LEFT IS AN OLD CALIGINOUS FLAME FROM THE MALE LOWBLOOD'S PAST, AND HAS REENTERED THE PICTURE. AGAIN, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. HE CAN CONTINUE TO COURT HIS MATESPRIT AND KISMESIS WITHOUT CONFLICT. IT'S A PERFECTLY AMICABLE ARRANGEMENT THAT EVERYONE'S TOTALLY DOWN WITH.

DAVE: what is that huge beefcake troll even doing

DAVE: is he grinding against the little dudes shoulder what is even going on

DAVE: why the fuck is he nude

KARKAT: NO QUESTIONS YET.

KARKAT: SO THEN THAT'S ALL FINE, PRETTY BOILERPLATE CONDITIONS FOR UNFOLDING ROMDRAMA, BUT THERE'S A TWIST.

KARKAT: THE MALE HIGHBLOOD AND LOWBLOOD START TO HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER, AND THIS RESULTS IN SOME RED INFIDELITY BETWEEN THE LOWBLOOD PAIR.

KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY THIS IS WHERE THE FIREWORKS START GOING OFF. THE RED FEELINGS BETWEEN THE LOWBLOODS TURN TO BLACK, AND THUS BEGINS WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS QUADRANT VACILLATION.

KARKAT: MEANWHILE THE TWO MALES ARE ALSO VACILLATING BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BECAUSE YOU DON'T JUST LET GO OF A RIVALRY SO EASILY.

DAVE: what is going on with the other chick

DAVE: all grabbing at the other one down there in the corner

KARKAT: YEAH, WELL, IT GETS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT, PROBABLY MORE THAN NEEDED FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING THE POINT.

KARKAT: IN THE HEAT OF THEIR VACILLATION, DURING AN ESPECIALLY BLACK PHASE, THE LOWBLOOD FEMALE WAXES RED FOR A NOTORIOUS AND ESPECIALLY BRUTAL HIGHBLOOD FEMALE.

KARKAT: SO THEY HAVE THEIR THING ON THE SIDE, BUT EVEN THAT STARTS VACILLATING TOO BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL PAIR JUST KEEP SPINNING LIKE A TOP.

KARKAT: WE DON'T NEED TO GET BOGGED DOWN IN THE QUADRANGLE DYNAMIC THOUGH, AND FOR OUR PURPOSES THE 4TH PARTY IS A DISTRACTION.

DAVE: our purposes

DAVE: what the fuck are our purposes

KARKAT: THE THING IS, VACILLATION ALWAYS ADDS A LOT OF DRAMA TO EVERYTHING, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE VIABLE.

KARKAT: IT CAN TOTALLY WORK, AND EVERYONE CAN BE REASONABLE ABOUT IT, IT REALLY JUST COMES DOWN TO A MATTER OF SENSIBLE SCHEDULING.

DAVE: you must be out of your fucking mind if you think i want to know where youre going with this

KARKAT: DAVE, PLEASE.

KARKAT: JUST READ THE BOOK, OK? IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.

DAVE: im not reading that shit

DAVE: i cant even read your stupid troll language why would you think i can

KARKAT: I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER. I CAN TRANSLATE FOR YOU. I'LL READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING ALOUD IF YOU WANT.

KARKAT: SERIOUSLY, IT COULD REALLY EXPAND YOUR LIMITED HUMAN THINK PAN ON STUFF.

KARKAT: THERE'S A LOT HERE THAT'S APPLICABLE TO OUR SITUATION.

DAVE: there is nothing even slightly applicable about any of that bullshit to our situation

KARKAT: DON'T BE DENSE. OF COURSE THERE IS.

KARKAT: TEREZI AND I HAVE BEEN ON THE VERGE OF VACILLATING LIKE THIS FOR A LONG TIME.

KARKAT: IT'S ABOUT TIME WE KILLED THE SUSPENSE AND JUST ACKNOWLEDGED IT.

KARKAT: YOU AND SHE SEEM BENT ON DEVELOPING SOMETHING IN THE FLUSHED QUADRANT, AND LIKE I SAID, I'M FINE WITH THAT.

KARKAT: IF WE CAN JUST GET OUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT, WE CAN BE LIKE THESE VACILLATING PAIRS THAT ALTERNATE BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BUT IN A WAY THAT'S COMPLEMENTARY WITH EACH OTHER'S PATTERNS.

DAVE: oh my god

DAVE: why is this happening

KARKAT: LIKE WHILE SHE AND I ARE BLACK, YOU AND SHE ARE RED.

KARKAT: BUT THEN WHEN SHE AND I ARE RED, YOU AND SHE... I DON'T KNOW IF HUMANS ARE REALLY CAPABLE OF BLACK FEELINGS?

KARKAT: I GUESS THAT'S UP TO YOU. MAYBE YOU CAN JUST LIKE, SIT THOSE PERIODS OUT.

KARKAT: LIKE TAKE A BREAK, YOU KNOW?

DAVE: youve completely lost it dude

DAVE: i cant believe for a fucking second this is reasonable shit to propose even on troll world

DAVE: you just

DAVE: totally snapped

KARKAT: SNAPPED LIKE A FUCKING FOX. THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

KARKAT: LIKE I SAID, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF RESPONSIBLE SCHEDULING.

KARKAT: HERE LET ME SHOW YOU.

KARKAT: I NEED SOME PAPER. WHERE'S SOME PAPER.

DAVE: hnnrrghh

KARKAT: LOOK, IT'S PERFECTLY SIMPLE.

KARKAT: HANG ON WHILE I DRAW THE GUIDELINES.

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: no you are NOT making another shipping grid dude

KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID.

KARKAT: JUST SOME ROWS AND COLUMNS FOR A SCHEDULE.

DAVE: its a grid youre drawing a goddamn grid

DAVE: im not letting you draw a grid for this stupid shit

KARKAT: COME ON, LOOK HERE. THESE ARE THE DAYS OF THE WEEK.

KARKAT: THEN WE EACH HAVE ROWS FOR THOSE DAYS AND WE CAN DRAW A HEART OR A SPADE FOR ANY GIVEN DAY.

KARKAT: THAT WAY WE KNOW WHAT'S UP IN ADVANCE, AND AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFLICTS.

DAVE: put the fucking pen down

KARKAT: HEY, CUT IT OUT. DON'T TOUCH ME.

DAVE: do not draw a shipping grid

DAVE: do not do it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID YOU OBTUSE FUCK.

DAVE: this is fucked up put it down

KARKAT: NO.

DAVE: you are not drawing a grid to organize our goddamn dating lives

DAVE: that is some straight up crackpot motherfuckin noise i will not abide

KARKAT: FUCK YOU. LET ME DRAW.

DAVE: stop drawing the shipping grid

KARKAT: *IT IS NOT A SHIPPING GRID*

KARKAT: THIS IS NOT SHIPPING YOU HEINOUS TOOL, THIS IS COMMON SENSE.

DAVE: you will not draw anything that even remotely resembles a grid

DAVE: do not draw an arrangement of squares or otherwise interlocking polygons

KARKAT: LET GO.

DAVE: you will not draw a spreadsheet for the purpose of allocating time spent with a mutual girlfriend you horses ass

DAVE: that is exactly the shit i do not want to see

KARKAT: LOOK, I JUST DREW A SQUARE.

KARKAT: GET READY TO SEE A LOT MORE OF THOSE!

DAVE: no

DAVE: stop

DAVE: do not draw any additional squares

DAVE: do not draw any quadrilaterals or trapezoids or rectangles or fucking n-drangles and especially as fuck not any god damned rhombuses

DAVE: i dont want to see your lines making any right angles do you understand

KARKAT: IN MY MIND'S EYE I AM PICTURING A BEAUTIFUL LATTICE OF LINES AND COMPARTMENTS, INTERLOCKING WITH SUBLIME PRECISION AT NINETY DEGREE ANGLES.

KARKAT: I IMAGINE THIS MODULAR RETICULATION AS AN ELEGANT VESSEL, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE GRAND SYNTHESIS OF OUR SHARED SHIPPING DREAMS.

DAVE: no

DAVE: that is the perfect example of what you shouldnt be drawing

KARKAT: YES

DAVE: no

KARKAT: FUCK YES

KARKAT: OOH LOOK, ANOTHER SQUARE, SORT OF.

KARKAT: KIND OF WOBBLY! IT'LL HAVE TO DO.

DAVE: no you fuck

KARKAT: WAIT, I THINK IT'S COMING.

KARKAT: HERE IT COMES, MY FIRST "SHIP", IT'S GOING IN THE SQUARE!

DAVE: put the goddamn pen down

DAVE: you piece of shit

KARKAT: HELL NO.

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??

KARKAT: OW, FUCK.

DAVE: this is so sick does she even know youre doing this

KARKAT: DOING WHAT??

DAVE: splitting up her time in a grid for your stupid rotating hate date plan

KARKAT: SHE WILL SOON ENOUGH.

DAVE: what a presumptuous sack of shit put the pen down

KARKAT: NO, I'M DRAWING.

DAVE: step away from your dumb ugly scribble grid

KARKAT: GET LOST.

DAVE: youre messing up roses book

KARKAT: YOU SMELL BAD.

DAVE: dont talk to me about rank smells

DAVE: you are the fuckin big man of smellin bad

DAVE: you dominate the paint with your stonk

KARKAT: MY LUSUS BROUGHT THINGS HOME THAT SMELLED MORE APPEALING THAN YOU.

KARKAT: IMPORTANT FACT: 100% OF WHAT HE BROUGHT HOME WAS EITHER A DEAD ANIMAL, OR LITERAL FECES.

DAVE: oh yeah well check it out:

DAVE: you smell like if someone took a dump on a butt

KARKAT: HOW CAN SHE STAND YOU WITH HER SENSITIVE NOSE?

KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN WASHED THAT RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?

DAVE: theyre magic fucking pajamas they stay like perma clean or something

DAVE: theyre enchanted and comfy as fuck give me the pen

KARKAT: NO, IT'S MINE NOW. I'M KEEPING IT ON PRINCIPLE.

DAVE: karkat whoa man what are you doing

DAVE: why are you drawing all these human dicks

DAVE: how do you even know what they look like what have you been watching??

KARKAT: I'M NOT DRAWING THOSE!!!!!!!

KARKAT: YOU'RE MAKING ME DRAW THEM, STOP THAT.

DAVE: no way

DAVE: this book is now like

DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock

KARKAT: ARGH... STOP!

KARKAT: DON'T

KARKAT: NO FUCK

KARKAT: OK NO

KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE

KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE!!!!

KARKAT: DON'T PRETEND YOU DIDN'T!

DAVE: are you sure man

DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks

DAVE: was it you or me or maybe a ghoooost???

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUCK LET GO OF ME!

DAVE: gimme the pen

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!

DAVE: no

KARKAT: WHAT??

DAVE: were still drawing

KARKAT: LET GO

DAVE: are you kidding this is a fucking masterpiece we have to see this through

KARKAT: I'M TRYING TO LET GO OF THE STUPID PEN BUT YOU WON'T LET ME

DAVE: we are in the shit now

DAVE: we are motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch

KARKAT: YOU CRAZY FUCK

DAVE: were running out of room rose can you turn the page for us

KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: THIS ALTERCATION IS BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLY PHYSICAL, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

DAVE: what are you talking about

KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

DAVE: shut up and draw another penis

KARKAT: YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF ALL THIS HOSTILE TOUCHING AND GRABBING DO YOU???

KARKAT: I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU STRIDER, JUST STEP OFF.

DAVE: man if you want to look at this that way then thats your business

DAVE: this is just an old fashioned beatdown where im from deal with it

KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU OLD FASHIONED GO FUCK YOURSELF?

DAVE: stop biting my cape

KARKAT: FUFCK NYOUF.

KARKAT: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

DAVE: shit!

[rpmemesbyarat]

Many times I see someone say that their original species/setting/culture/etc doesn’t adhere to human gender norms or view gender the way humans do. . .and what it turns out is, they do, just instead of viewing it like Western traditionalists they view it instead like (also Western) progressive-minded folks do in spaces like Tumblr, queer groups, etc.

The thing is though, that’s still a human viewpoint. As evident by the people in these spaces and with these identities and views on gender. . .are human. And I’m not saying it’s bad to give your original species/culture/world/etc these views, just, if you’re going to make the claim they aren’t the way humans view things, you’re going to have to work a little harder to come up with your own original stuff.

For instance, maybe genders are assigned by a trait that isn’t genitals, but is still physical, such as eye color, with according stereotypes and roles and socialization attached to this. Maybe people whose eye colors are hard to distinguish, or who have heterochromia, are ostracized, to say nothing of those whose eyes might shift color later in life. And people who wear colored contact lenses will be seen a lot differently for sure!

Or, what if gender is assigned based on something NOT physical and is easy to lie about, like what time of day you were born?

And if you can choose your gender, what are the options? What distinguishes these options from each other? What if none fit? Or if you want to change later? What is the process for choice? When is someone considered “old enough” to know? Is it ever considered “too late” to go back on a selection? What about those who never choose?

Also note that while a lot of people want their fictional people/society/etc to have a more enlightened view on gender (which is fine and good) another option is to have them have a very flawed and damaging system just like us, just totally different from our own too. You’ll notice all the examples I gave are based on things that don’t actually impact anyone’s personality at all. . .but what if you told them their whole life that it did, and raised them in different ways based on that?

Hmmm…sounds familiar.

Alternatively, maybe your world/people/etc doesn’t have DIFFERENT categories from our world. Maybe they still have “men” and “women” and those are seen as the only two, or at least the primary two, are still assigned based on how your genitals look at a glance, etc. But maybe how a “man” and “woman” are expected to behave are totally different! And I don’t mean just swapping the gender roles, that’s just the same thing, I mean stuff that doesn’t really have a human equivalent that I know of. For instance, rats have gendered behavior, it’s just nothing like human ideas of gendered behavior. Female rats tend to be very hyperactive, and love to run around and play and explore. They’re rarely cuddlers or lap rats, even if they’re very friendly. Conversely, male rats tend to be lazy lap potatoes who love to snuggle and chill with each other and their human. But, as with humans, there’s always exceptions—I’ve had some very snuggly and/or timid girl rats, and I’ve had a couple boy rats who not only behaved in a much more “female” way they even LOOKED more like female rats (smaller, thinner bodies are more typical of females, while a lot of the boys are LORGE) except for the massive testicles (yeah, rats have those)

So, what if we applied those standards to a sapient society? By their standards, your manliness would be defined more by your laziness and cuddliness, and feminine behavior by running around like you’re on crack. The little girl that would probably be labeled a tomboy in our society would be the height of girliness to them! So, it’s not just reversing human gender norms, it’s a set of gender norms that are just totally nonhuman even if it’s still the same conventional two categories. And since I mentioned that there are exceptions among rats just like humans—how are those exceptions regarded and treated? Are they rejected? Tolerated? Maybe they have specific roles in society of their own?

One more thing is that gender roles and restrictions don’t typically come out of nowhere in any human society. Most of them evolved for a purpose, often an awful one. If you tell men that their manhood and worth is measured by aggression and conquest, you’ll get a lot more young men eager to fight in wars. If you tell women that their brains will be overwhelmed by reading and their wombs shrivel up (yes, an actual belief in the Victorian era) then they’re a lot less likely to educate themselves and start asking questions about their roles. And, of course, queer and trans people must be demonized so that everybody continues doing what they are “supposed” to—if we let a couple women marry each other and not have children together, even the heterosexual women might realize they don’t need a man or have to have kids in order to be happy! Can’t have that! Similarly, many beliefs about the inferiority of POC evolved to justify their enslavement, colonization, genocide, etc. There’s always a sinister purpose behind bigotry, and it often doesn’t take long to figure out. So, in your society, how did their beliefs about gender come about, and what purpose, for good or ill, do they ultimately serve?

Basically, if you want to design a society with a wholly original view on gender that doesn’t have a real-world equivalent, don’t just copy-paste in a view that’s less mainstream but very much does already exist. You’re gonna have to do the work and think outside the box a bit. But I think that’s a lot of fun! And it can raise great points about the real world too!

[realfactsnlogic]

necroposting in the comments of fanfics

It's the wee hours and I'm really going through it.

As writers, we are serious when it comes to comments. A lot of us love comments, as they are fuel and motivation to keep writing (that is, if the comments are polite.) Because screw the concept of necroposting.

Necroposting, in my own words, means responding to something online at the time many consider long overdue. I've been seeing this a lot recently in a culture that values information being passed one quick. A rat-race. Wanting to be In The Know, Right Here, Right Now. There is little to no consensus on what is considered "too old" to be interacted with, but still.

The concept of necroposting has spread to writing communities, especially in fandom. Among other factors, I can argue that the fear of being lauded on for necroposting ruined the concept of community, especially for a place where it is easy to make connections online.

I may cringe at my old works, I'm sure I'm not be the only one who does this. It's a natural reaction, and shows that you do care about improving your writing. Still, if someone were ever to comment on them, I can be comforted in knowing that *someone* liked it. Change the mindset. Some people like cakes being on sale past the best before date. Hell, some dive in dumpsters and will take what they can get.

Unless the author indicated somewhere that they don't want people interacting with their old fics, comment. No matter how old the fic.

[designidraws]

Sam and Max characters’ hygiene ranked from best to worst:

Sybil Pandemik: She is a career-woman and knows what she is doing. Sybil cares about her appearance and how she is perceived, she is the most likely to give a shit about her hygiene.

Myra Stump: She is a talk-show host on TV and has a large audience. She definitely cares a lot about her hygiene since she acts like a bossy mom.

Santa Claus or the elves: Smells like holiday cheer, one of the best scents.

Momma Bosco: Self-explanatory, she probably smells of 60’s perfume and definitely takes good care of her hygiene.

Agent Superball: He probably smells like a really good cologne and he takes himself extremely seriously.

Grandma Ruth: Ruth probably has that grandma perfume smell that is just extremely nostalgic. She definitely cares about her BO.

The Narrator: He is British and very sophisticated, he takes good care of “himself”.

Jurgen: He is very attention-seeking and cares how other people perceive him. He definitely collects the latest and most popular perfume.

Conroy Bumpus: Sure, he may be involved in animal cruelty, but he seems to care a lot about his appearance. He has a toupee on display with high-security soooooo…. he cares a lot.

The Director: She is a director known for being prestigious about acting and probably takes good care of her hygiene.

Darla "The Geek" Gugenheek: She definitely showers regularly.

Sam/Sameth: Sam definitely cares about his hygiene for the most part. He acts like a dad and probably smells like one and cares about how he is perceived.

Lee-Harvey: He is a henchman for Conroy Bumpus and looks well-kept.

Anyone in the toy mafia: These guys probably smell ok.

Satan: Weirdly I think Satan in this series probably smells alright. He always cares about whether his bald-spot is showing on camera during the interview in *The City That Dares Not Sleep*.

T.H.E.M.: They smell average.

Abraham Lincoln: Smells like stone? (Whatever that means)

The C.O.P.S.: The smell of machinery.

Roscoe Bosco: He probably smells average, maybe a little sweaty some days.

Sal: He is a cockroach but seems relatively well-kept.

Flint Paper: He probably showers, but cares more about cases rather than personal hygiene.

Lorne (the friend for life): He doesn’t shower as much as he should.

Mr. Featherly: He is a chicken, but he does seem to care about how he is seen and is very much an attention-seeker.

Sammun-Mak: He smells like dirt but like in a good way, like the nostalgic kind of way.

Trixie: Ehhh she smells well… like a giraffe with a layer of perfume overtop

Max/Maximus: We all know he is covered in so many germs, but Sam definitely tries to get him showered every once in a while.

Hubert Q. Tourist: He is a strange, strange fellow. I don’t know what it is about him, but he makes me uncomfortable and he probably doesn’t smell all that well.

Hugh Bliss: Bacteria

Bessie: She’s a cow…

General Skun-ka’pe or his minions: All I need to say is gorilla.

Bruno: He is a bigfoot, need anymore explaining?

Brady Culture: I don’t think I can explain why, but I think he just doesn’t smell good at all.

Anton Papierwaite: HE IS FRENCH! (Also his *secret* makes him smell worse probably)

Girl Stinky: She smells like really bad, but tries to haphazardly spray perfume to cover it up.

Charlie Ho-Tep: People don’t have the decency to wash their hands before playing with him.

Any sea creatures: I absolutely despise the smell of fish…

Any of the baby characters: Babies can smell really bad…

Jurgen’s Monster: He is basically Frankenstein’s Monster, so he probably doesn’t smell good.

The zombies: They are undead and *god* do the dead smell gross.

Eldritch horrors of any kind: They don’t smell very good.

Molemen or the Rats: These guys smell like shit and probably don’t care about showering. They live in the sewers.

Grandpa Stinky: It’s in the name, he smells absolutely rancid. He probably hasn’t showered in decades.

The Soda Poppers: THEY SMELL REALLY FUCKING BAD

[cf56]

My thoughts on episode 3

SPOILERS for season 3, episode 3 of the Animaniacs reboot

No beating around the bush, I LOVED IT!

The first segment was funny and interesting. I love seeing snippets of the Warners' everyday lives. Even if this goes against all the headcanons I held of them. I mean, why would a rambunctious group of kids living together with no rules wake up at 6 AM?!

Here I am writing this at noon after having woken up an hour ago. Wait, didn't they say something about writers being nocturnal?

It's consistent with episode 1- "You'll have to wake up pretty early to catch the Warners." followed by "WHO WAKES UP AT 4AM?" (Two hours before when the Warners apparently wake up.)

Wakko's a little cutie in this episode. We finally have a hard number on how much food he eats a day- 20,000 calories. Seems low, honestly.

When this part happened, I got upset.

Damn you, narrator! Can't you just let our kids get some sustenance in peace?

I LOVED seeing the Warners pull off some Looney Tunes antics!

This image was really funny to me, with Dwayne's huge teethy smile and profits shooting up around him. I wonder if they knew how topical it would be? Having The Rock in a super hero franchise? (They knew Black Adam would be coming out, but they probably didn't know it would flop.) This season seems to be on point with the pop culture timing so far, as opposed to the first two seasons seeming out of date at times.

I liked seeing the in-universe realities of toon creation. First, the new toon being born, the pitch failing, and then it just being thrown on the streets.

It's a nice bit of world building for an aspect of their universe they usually ignore, especially in Animaniacs. I mean, if you're writing an Animaniacs fanfiction and you need an original villain, that's the go-to backstory. A toon who was abandoned and thrown on the streets, now jealous of the Warners' success. It also proves that there are toons in that world who aren't famous TV stars and probably just live normal lives. Heck, it proves that probably the vast majority of toons in that world aren't TV stars who made it big. There's far more pitches that fail than pitches that succeed in the animation industry.

And then the very next shot is this, showing the Warners up in their warm, dry tower eating hot food.

That's... interesting. I feel like it's trying to say something. Like the Warners don't have it that bad compared to most toons. Or that they're aloof in some ways. I wouldn't like the latter, if that's the implication. The Warners are definitely meant to be characters who are among* and sympathize with the downtrodden.

The end of the short asks us to watch Animaniacs, every day. I'm way ahead of you there, buddy.

The Pinky and the Brain segment was good. I liked their dynamic, with Brain being forced to coddle Pinky for once. I also found it hilarious whenever Pinky would get stressed. He takes on such a different personality.

I liked Brain's impressions. Shoutout to Maurice LaMarche, doing his impression of Orson Welles as the Brain doing poor impressions of Christopher Lloyd and Morgan Freeman while still having it sound like the Brain. Also doing Orson Welles as the Brain doing an impression of Orson Welles. I'm sure I'm far from the first person to have typed that sentence by now.

The tickle fight was cute. I was honestly grossed out by Pinky sucking on Brain's finger. Their bare little rat hands have always kind of creeped me out.

So yeah, good segment.

So about the first joke in the next segment, I have a lot to say. First off-

Wait, sorry, I'm being reminded that this is a SFW blog.

...

...........!!!

I could freak out in all caps, but I know others have handled that for me already. It's what I've been asking for in the reboot. Jokes that make you question if they can say that, if they should say that. Stuff right on the very edge of what's acceptable. Heck, this might not even be on the edge. Some people might say it's over it. I haven't seen the general reaction and I won't for seven more days.

I love how they knew what you'd be trying to look at for the rest of the episode, and in every single frame they carefully obscured the bottom of that poster so you can't see it.

I know my reaction here might be disappointing. Truthfully, I was spoiled on this joke. But while it's what everyone will focus on, I just have to gush about the rest of this segment!!!

For one, the concept in general of the Warners framing fanart is super cute. I was going to write a chapter for Wakko's World exactly along those lines. I was beaten to the punch.

For two, the song is AMAZING!!! WAKKO'S SINGING. GLORIOUS.

I have never dropped an f-bomb on this blog. But

Why the FUCK don't we get to hear Wakko's singing voice more often?! I legitimately got tears in my eyes from how hard I was smiling during his part. It blew me away.

This song was just so. DAMN. CUTE!!! Their singing, the tune, the antics. It just fills me with a feeling of pure, unadulterated joy on every single listen.

Put simply,

I was going to start this post by talking about how poorly I've been handling being separated from the fandom. This episode gave me so much joy I just couldn't bear to be negative. It blew all of that angst right out of my heart.

My current ranking of season 3 episodes:

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

This season just keeps getting better as it goes along. It would be funny if this list just ends up being in reverse order of the episode numbers. I would be surprised if episode 3 ends up ranked 8th, though. That would mean this was a season of truly extraordinary TV.

I encourage you to add to the discussion on this post if you have anything to say about episode 3 or the ones before it. Don't say anything (and I mean anything) about any of the episodes after episode 3. Pretend as if you're watching this along with me and haven't even seen the other ones yet.

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*sus