#I Live My Daydreaming in Music

[candyheartedchy]

So uh… I might end up with a live action f/o…

[puppyeared]

wish they would just let me live on wuhu island man.. kicks pebble and sighs

[beneathashadytree]

I have a confession to make…

The best fanfic I’ve ever written—and the only multi-chapter, comprehensive one too—is a Brian May fanfic that I’ve been writing on Wattpad (yikes, but you gotta understand that Wattpad used to be all the rage) for the past nearly half a decade. To be entirely fair though, I went on hiatus for a long while (since 2018 I think!!) and only got back to writing it last summer.

Yes, this Brian May. Queen’s guitarist, funnily enough.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I had these weird recurring dreams I had in middle school that I mostly forgot but kept using as fuel for melodramatic daydreams where I was a secret agent slowly dying by poisoning or just me, a kid, dying slowly of brain cancer and it took me like most of a year to figure out that the reason all those angsty middle schooler daydream scenarios I was playing out in my head in the car or in bed at night had a strange edge of deja vu to them because they'd started out as barely remembered dreams. I think it clicked when I was sitting in an airport waiting to board a redeye flight to visit family. there's a certain feeling about sitting in an airport when it's dark out and you're tired. everything is a little bit off. it's a liminal space by definition but as a kid it has a strange melancholy to it that somehow I felt like I'd felt before, and it scared me. it wouldn't get out of my head. I didn't know it them but I was about to spend that entire trip, nearly two weeks, locked in that strange melancholy deja vu darkness. and the thing is that a part of me enjoyed it. was compelled by it. I was scared but it wasn't in a bad way. I called it bad dreams because I didn't have any other words to explain why it made me nervously excited to daydream my own death. it was a feeling of mystery, almost, and bittersweet. but the sweet in that word comes at the end. it was melancholy and I felt like I'd been there before and would die in that feeling. but I always wanted to know more about it. always wondered about the strange recurring dreams and imaginary worlds they sparked. there was always something fascinating about those to me. it always struck something in my emotions that nothing else really can.

and that's what listening to Circa Survive feels like to me

[robinsnest2111]

if, in theory, I had the time, would anyone want to watch a video of me playing the grunkle dating sim???

[rowanthestrange]

The Doctor’s memory of Clara, morphing into a story, morphing into the Doctor’s OC Comfort Character, morphing into ‘i’m not a woman but if i were’, morphing into-

[scribbleshrimp]

hey i just wanted to thank you for escam. i know youre like done with uploading it but you were one of the only things keeping me on there for a while. which i guess im also thanking you for stopping

Glad you liked it! It makes me really really happy that it had a positive impact on a few people. I kinda cringe looking back at it, it was full of spelling mistakes and inconsistencies and really odd narrative choices (holyyy shit the fig tree motif that was supposed to be a core thing was poorly brought up and feels so out of place reading back) but it was my first attempt of actually writing character dialogue and an overarching story. TikTok is EVILL I can’t believe how shitty I felt about myself due to a few comments saying it was mediocre like yeah duh it was my first attempt writing something that wasn’t an essay for school! Of course it wasn’t perfect!!! Why is it a crime to not have professional level work for a hobby. That app is super cruel to beginners, the “art lore” stuff there that’s just bullying kids for being bad at anatomy is super malicious. But despite that scrambling to post videos during lunch in the middle of a noisy cafeteria while also prepping for a math test is memories I cherish lol. It’s kind of annoying that I think the thing I’ll be most remembered for are my characters that I developed as an edgy teenager since I’m not really planning on sharing more of my stories publicly but it makes me super thrilled that people found value in it. Okay okay sorry I’m rambling I just get excited when people willingly read my work. It makes me feel like a 5th grader discussing my warrior cat ocs during recess again. I’m glad you deleted TikTok that place rots the mind and soul.

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Wow I love asshole gay people (things have ALIGNED in the ASTRAL PLANE and Pav is WATCHING SOMETHING?? 🤯)

[lovesour]

musings below

[milo-is-rambling]

Whoop whoop it’s cold enough to use the blanket that smells like a mix between my dog and kettle corn hell yeah

[buds-and-baubles]

kinda half tempted to someday draw like. a cork board after the transfer of batman trying to plan contingencies for all these new heroes, anti-heroes, villains, etc.

dunno why. i'm kinda hooked on him looking at a board with tons of profiles of files stuck to it missing pictures and information with tons of red question marks and scratching out with red ink. and 14 in particular have a red star for it that his gut is telling him are high priority of concern.

[goblin-enjoyer]

Oh by the corpses I think I’m loosing it. Earlier I just got back from a friends birthday get together for their 21ST. I’m a bit worn out so I go to watch some background entertainment on YouTube while a get my batteries for wow back (I heard there was a new important quest chain). I see some homestuck comic dubs in my feed. Odd, but makes sense as I have been listening to the music lately. So I turn on those old 3-4 year old videos thinking: “eh this is just some old dubs from 2015-16 might as well watch em while I recharge. See what this old decaying fandom had in its heyday”. I watch for a bit until I find a comp that BLINDSIDES me with a Covid reference comic. I look at the date, 4 years ago. After the video is finished I then proceed to realize that all those videos were from 2020-2022 and then start breaking down somewhat as I realize I’m getting old and starting to think “4 years ago was 2016” . Que this post . Honestly I can’t tell which is worse. The fact that 2016 was almost 10 years ago and as much as things change, every 5 or so years they kinda just reset a tiny bit in the transition from old to new to old again Or the fact that i might be a homestuck fan now. Nonsense of a mad[WOULD PREFER NOT TO SAY] in the tags as I don’t put that crabp in the main post.

[sweetreveriee]

there are so many Armenian songs in my playlists that fit James 🤭💕

[astranauticus]

i know i called set me free by floruitshow the VR-LA song of all time at one point but listening to it now..... yeah it is very 0x51 huh

[dhampiravidi]

it's a tad bit corny, but gosh, this song makes me think of how I went from a 5-year-old who loved fantasy novels to a 23-year-old who has too much wanderlust & longing for a YA urban fantasy kind of life--

[thecherrygod]

Sometimes I just end up daydreaming about what it would be like if I had managed to pursue my small interests or hobbies that I don't really do anything about/that my interest for them fell through the cracks/that I don't see enough potential in myself to live off of them. And like. What life would be like if I thought even slightly different about any of them. I like to think somewhere down the line in another world there is this guy who managed and is living his best life