#I LOVE far cry coop especially 5

[v--nus]

ps if anyone’s interested in playing any of the far cry games any time soon, I’d love to co-op if you need a buddy :3

[bbhyeoliskooks]

Can I request an angst where Yeonjun breaks up with you but then wants you back a few weeks later?

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞»

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part two out here !

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 5 cups of angst and maybe 2 cups of fluff ?

Warnings: harassment, alcohol consumption, cussing, yeonjun is a big jerk in this :ccc, cliffhanger ending, not edited so if i make a mistake... oopsies

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(I wasn’t sure if I could do a happy ending, but you just have to find that outtt 😌😌~~ i’m so sorry that it came so late too ! i just didn’t expect there’d be tons of assignments this week??? anyway, if you want me to make a part two, of course i can ! requests are always open ���💓)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Everything was fine.

When Choi Yeonjun made the first move under your favorite spot in the whole world during the time both of you were stargazing, you felt his smile brush up against your lips as you kissed him to your heart’s content. Finally, the boy of your dreams was yours. You hadn’t thought this would be coming for a long time, but you were so happy it turned out this way instead of a permanent, platonic friendship- one that was simply excruciating whenever you saw him and his adorable, fluffy cheeks. Warm infatuation flowed through your veins making you kiss him deeper, allowing him to be in your arm’s embrace while your heart swelled in joy. This was love. 

You knew deep in your heart that everything was fine and was going to be fine, for that matter. 

Said boy gently cupped your cheek, and you melted into his touch under the glistening, white moonlight. He was so warm, you never wanted to lose that even if you gave up the entire universe to be with him. 

He was happy.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach while you fondly gazed at his pure, bright smile, not being able to look away from his brown eyes which captivated you every single moment of the day. In a crowd of people, you were sure he’d be the one person you’d look at, and not to mention the only one. He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. What difference was it going to make if you made it official? 

And so you were too. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured so softly he wondered if you actually heard it.

You had. 

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

Everything was fine. 

Up until now.

Call you cheesy or anything else, but all you wanted to do for the day was drop some food off at your boyfriend’s house before going out to a few of your classes. Your boyfriend of eight months, actually. You doubted that anybody else numbered their months as an anniversary, but who was counting? It had been a while since you seen each other due to studies and exams, so you assumed that this would be the perfect time to visit him for a couple minutes while he’s having troubles on a few assignments. Easily, a couple minutes could turn into hours and you’d find yourself missing class unintentionally.

Although at the same time, spending time with your boyfriend was the best! And he’s made you smile so much these past months that you were really starting to understand why you loved him so much. Those sparkling eyes which held all the starts from the Milky Way Galaxy in them, those sweet lips which never failed to calm you down whenever your patience wore thin, and that sweet heart that protected you from all evil in the world. Point is, he was the perfect boyfriend and there wasn’t even once a time where he would hurt you! After all, you knew that he loved you so much as well. He promised he would always be right beside you, and the Choi Yeonjun never ever goes back on his promises.

Entering the house with the spare key he gave you for emergencies, you hesitated for a few seconds when you heard his voice ripple throughout the silent kitchen. Was this right? It wasn’t an emergency, but what if Yeonjun was really hungry and needed you? You could picture his pouty lips whine whenever you asked him if he wanted something to eat, and the imaginary sight made you grin with delight. Still, you were unsure if you could just budge in without his permission. Like the loving boy he is, he assured you every time that it was okay, managing to convince you in the near future which was technically now that he adored in whenever you planned a surprise visit for him.

You shut the door softly, enough for it not to create any sounds that could signal you arrived. Knowing how much Yeonjun loved when you came over by the way he kept encouraging you to come over whenever you had free time, you made sure not to make any sound in order to be the sunshine in his day. It could too much for other people, but hey! Seeing him happy because of you made the pride in your chest grow, like you were on top of the world. Just a simple visit would do, right?

“Yeah Bin, I just think they’re really clingy, don’t you agree?”

His velvety voice caused you to stand still in your spot, paralyzed as your mind was reeling with a variety of thoughts. Your excitement instantly burned down in flames, your curiosity growing as you slowly inched around the familiar kitchen. Luckily you weren’t noticed, albeit that was good since you didn’t have the desire to be seen anyway. Who was he talking about? Could it be someone you know?

“Nowadays, I don’t see them as much, and I’m so happy I don’t. Like, who would want to come home to that thing? If we lived together, I sure as hell know that I wouldn’t be able to stand a minute with them, if not much more than a second.”

The pounding in your chest grew faster with every single second that passed, for if he caught you, you knew that he would be extremely disappointed. As a couple, it was important to trust each other, and especially when one of them needed their privacy. But the wonder of who it was was far stronger, overpowering the fear of being caught. Yeonjun would definitely hate you for this if he ever found out, but that didn’t mean he had to know. You felt like you were doing something by listening to him, an impending feeling in your gut which only signaled trouble.

“I think I’m getting tired of them. All they do is wear my clothes when they know they have their own and cry to me about their problems every single night. They’re always like this and that, making you do things that you don’t want to do. It’s really annoying, you don’t understand,” he added as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

Your heart sunk to the ground, shattering into a million yet heavy pieces once you registered who they were talking about. 

It was you.

Yeonjun chuckled at your newfound misery, not acknowledging you were there as he traced his finger over the marble counter. “And don’t you try to defend them, Soobin. I know you guys are good friends, but if you dated them then you would really know how stupid they are. To be honest, their problems turn out that way just because they’re such an idiot. Who knew I would be stuck with a dimwit like them?!” 

He burst into laughter, but you heard nothing from the other line. Internally, you thanked Soobin for not finding humor out of the situation, but there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you heard him tell more and more about what he hated about you.

Was it that easy to say?

Too tired to hear the rest, you gently shut the door, leaving as soon as he made another joke about your affection. The bag of food clanked against the porch loudly, causing the shutter of the windows to flicker inside the house but you didn’t care anymore if he came out to see you like this. He said you were pathetic, and that’s what you are. If you can’t even do one thing, then why even try due to the fact that you aren’t good enough for him? Your eyes were betraying your will now, welling up with tears of disappointment in yourself. You should’ve known, you should’ve known! Look what happens when you depend on people too much, this is all your fault!

You went home like a fool with your stunned voice not permitting you to say anything about what you heard from him. Maybe if you just endured it a bit more, he would come to realize that you were only doing what you did since you loved him with all your heart. This couldn’t be your boyfriend, perhaps he was stressed with all of the exams they’re giving. This wasn’t him, it just couldn’t! How could he say all of that? 

He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. That was that. 

Certainly everything was going to be okay... right?

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like Yeonjun wanted, you did everything in your power to make sure that he was comfortable with his own space. You placed the stolen clothes you loved to wear whenever you missed him during the time you knew he wasn’t home because of dragged out classes. You didn’t text or call him as much, knowing that he would probably get annoyed if you bothered him too many times to count on both hands. You didn’t plan surprise visits anymore when you had the time, choosing to coop yourself in your bedroom as you waited for him to say something- to say anything. 

Maybe he would actually come talk to you, right? It’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen each other. Maybe he would notice the missing piece in his life which was you, right? He always told you he adored whenever you called him your soulmate, as cheesy as it is. Maybe he would at least explain why he’s being like this, right? He strove to do the right things in your relationship even if it cost him his pride. It was because he loved you. 

That’s what you thought. 

He didn’t, and you were left shattered in pieces. Disappointment clouded your heart as you thought well of him, the hope in your chest gradually becoming less and less each day for the time the two of you did not speak. Instantaneously, you felt terrible about yourself, understanding why he thought of you to be so clingy that it was almost suffocating.

All the while, that ended up with the two of you getting even more further apart.

You hated it, but what hurt the most was that you weren’t sure if he cared about you anymore. 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Hey babe, can we talk today? I need to tell you something, so meet me up at Moonlight.”

When Yeonjun asked you to meet up with him at your favorite spot, the one you both deemed to be your place, you were absolutely thrilled to see him. It was nearing four weeks since you haven’t seen each other which was quite surprising to you; you never knew how well you could hold up without him in the first place. Moonlight was the code name for the place you both ended up confessing to each other since it was incredibly vivid in your hazy memory. You couldn’t help but remember Yeonjun’s bright smile directed towards you when you mentioned the name. 

Jittery, you made sure to put on the perfume he gifted you on your first month anniversary, spraying it just enough so that it wouldn’t overwhelm him. It was no wonder that you wanted to look your best for him, for perhaps he would finally tell you that he loved you again! You’ve been waiting for that day since forever, patience becoming frayed from the anticipation that consumed you every single day.

Your nerves were practically a scrambling mess as you walked yourself there, hoping that everything with Yeonjun was doing well. Gosh, you missed his fluffy cheeks so much and his cuddles you swore you were going to go crazy. His scent was no longer on your pillows and you had to admit that you really missed it. But really, this was a good sign! You knew that everything was going to be fine, just fine. He was going to be right by your side, right by your side where he would stay but why was this gut feeling in your fluttering stomach trying to convince you differently? 

When you arrived there, heart thumping as you watched his head peek up instead of staring at the ground, you suddenly felt your eyes gather up with tears. It was pathetic to cry in front of him, but you missed him so much that just seeing him made your whole world feel complete. As always, he looked perfect when his eyes found yours, looking you up and down and staring to see if you’ve changed one bit.

You waved at him shyly, words becoming stuck in your throat as you took in his beauty that never failed to amaze you. A smile struck your lips, stepping towards him with bravery even if you were scared you were doing something wrong. He wasn’t smiling like usual, so maybe something happened in his personal life? You wanted to be there for him through times like these. However, all you had to do now was hope for the best once he spoke up.

“Y/N, I...”

His voice faltered when he stared at your gentle expression, unable to find the courage in what he was going to say.

How was he going to break it to you?

“Yeonjun,” you stated simply, raising an eyebrow at why he was so vulnerable all of a sudden. His breath became heavy when you mentioned his name but he remained strong, standing as tall as he could to finally say-

“Y/N, I’m breaking up with you.”

... What?

He’s breaking up with you?

You couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, all the words going through one ear and out the other.

There was no way. There was no way he was breaking up with you. You were for him and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. There’s no reason why he would be leaving you right now, he just couldn’t do that!

He sighed, shaking his head at your dumbfound expression. “I just... I just I don’t think we’re right for each other. We don’t have any interest talking to each other anymore, and you know how easy it is to give up, right? That’s what we should do, and I know you’ll definitely find someone else.”

You still weren’t able to say anything, shock taking over you as your eyebrows furrowed and tensed up. Since when was he like this? He said he never gives up on anything, so why is he giving up on you now?

“You’re a great person and all, but I have to break up with you, alright?” His velvet voice which you swore loved you just as much made every single hope and dream die in your soul, the words he said breaking your poor heart even further. 

You couldn’t possibly understand- you just couldn’t!

He was for you and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. It’d always been like that! You kept repeating over and over again in your head, trying to convince yourself that this was a bad dream that you needed to wake up from. 

He didn’t say anything else, the sudden silence deafening your ears as you did your best to conjure up something to say. 

“B-but why...?”

But why? All the sympathy from before drained from his heart once he heard those words and he couldn’t contain himself, chuckling at your misconception. Why couldn’t you get it through your thick head that he was being the right one here? It was the hard truth, you needed to realize that like he did. 

“You can’t be serious, can you? It isn’t that hard to understand, I’m just saying that we should break up once and for all,” the boy muttered under his breath.

Was it that easy to say? Was it that easy to break someone you loved? Was it that easy to hurt someone you thought the world of? 

The anger built up from weeks before rushed in you and you charged up to him, punching him in the chest with all you had to give. It was too weak to feel anything, honestly. He couldn’t help but smirk at your fragility.

“Yeonjun, how could you do this?!” You heaved, voice becoming stronger without realizing it. You threw another punch, strength failing you over and over again. “I gave everything to you!” You hit him again. “I did everything in my power just so that you’d be happy!” You hit him again. “I went against my own heart in trying not to contact you as you’d like, but it all came down to this?” He watched tears one by one trickle down your cheeks as your voice thinned with hopelessness, but he just wasn’t able to feel anything. 

“You just weren’t good enough.”

It was like that one phrase set you off, and you clung to him like a fool, taking his freezing hands into yours while the atmosphere became thick with tension. Perhaps if you could’ve done something from the past the way he liked it, he wouldn’t leave you. Perhaps if you just worked on yourself and your appearance a bit more, he would actually find something to love. Perhaps if you just tried harder, everything would be fine. But why? Why had all your efforts gone to waste just like this? 

“What can I do then? What can I do to make you love me again? Tell me, please! I want to fix everything, I have to fix what we have!” You gripped his shirt as hard as you could, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were doing so. His scent which gave you euphoria every time you sensed he was near had now turned sour, making your stomach churn with dead, exhausted butterflies you weren’t sure how to clean up. 

There was no remorse in Yeonjun’s heart as he stared down at you, combing his fingers through his hair in frustration. This was much harder than what he had assumed, but you’d eventually move on, right? He honestly couldn’t say that he cared, and it was a bit funny to see how desperate you were. 

“I don’t love you anymore, Y/N, get over it,” he said before pushing you away towards the tree you used to have dates under. 

You then stumbled on your feet, almost falling over due to dizziness which numbed your senses. The thorny-like bark of the tree slit a few cuts on your arm, making you groan with tears in your eyes. You searched frantically to where he could be, eyes easily falling upon his body, where every single second you witnessed became excruciating both physically and mentally. Your chest twisted with unbearable agony while you watched him leave, walking out of your life as if it was the easiest thing to do. The splinters dug against the flesh of your skin, but you couldn’t care less. He was leaving. He was leaving, and you were just allowing it to happen. 

“Yeonjun, please don’t do this to me!”

You hoped he would hear you.

“I know it’s all my fault, but please don’t leave me!”

You hoped he would just listen. 

“I want you to stay, Yeonjun! Please!”

You hoped he would know how much you loved him so much to the point where you would die without him.

“Yeonjun, I still love you!”

But it didn’t work. 

“Please...” You reached out to him in desperation that he would come back, but the once familiar figure slowly but surely left your life, taking your torn heart without giving you one, last glance.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

To say you were a wreck was an understatement.

If an absolute pathetic mess who didn’t take care of their hygiene as they laid in bed all day, going through several tubs of ice cream was enough to say that you were a wreck, then that was it. But clearly, that in itself was not good enough just like what he said. You were terrible, clearly in shambles after what he had said to you. Faults upon faults kept piling upon the bitter taste of your tongue no matter how much you tried to distract yourself by doing the things you loved. In this situation, it seemed that hobbies didn’t work at all. The things you did had no purpose without him. It would only come out as second best, and you could even say this was the worst you’ve ever done them. All of it came down because of the breakup. How could you live without the boy who made you so happy every single day?!

So in turn, it had to be your fault for doing this. It had to be your fault because you tried so hard and yet it just wasn’t good enough. You caught yourself thinking that if you just changed yourself a little, maybe then everything could be different, and the two of you could be happy in love like always. That only weighed on your heart because you knew you were such a fool for him, hopelessly devoted for something that would never come. 

Plus, it was bad enough that no one cared about you so much to even look after your well-being even if you felt terrible about getting help. Showing sympathy was the worst option ever since it only reminded you of how your ex would shower you with love and affection whenever something abominable happened to your heart. Looks like that wouldn’t happen now. 

Soobin tried calling you a lot after he heard that Yeonjun broke up with you, but you didn’t give him any chance to talk to you. If he did, then you would burst into tears at his voice saying something along the lines of the words, ‘are you okay?’ Obviously, you wouldn’t be able to handle it if he saw you like this- like a sobbing mess that no one else could ever love. 

A day passed of watching shows you used to love, and that didn’t work either. No spark of light passed your eyes while you gazed upon the screen you and Yeonjun used to share, laughing about your favorite characters who you would give the world to but were honestly too stupid to realize that they caused the problem in the first place. You weren’t able to help the tears that gathered up like puddles in your eyes when you saw Yeonjun’s favorite character, the one he adored all the time whenever you two watched tv together. 

Every single place you looked at, it would only remind you of him. The couch where you two would cuddle all the time, and the one where Yeonjun slept on if you forced him out. Sometimes when you both were having a bad day, some things would lead up to another with shouting and angry eyebrows due to the cause of each other. Although that would be solved in no time and more times than necessary, you would find yourself sleeping on top of his chest so he’d wake up to you apologizing to him. With lots of soft kisses too! He said he loved you, and that was that. You loved him too.

Really, you couldn’t go a day without him so why was it so different now? What happened to the loving boyfriend Yeonjun used to be?

Just a day after he broke up with you, you found your spare key you gave to him right in front of your house, waiting expectantly for you to pick it up as if it was nothing special. Just the sight of it was enough to bring you tears and you threw it over the streets as if it was nothing. It didn’t get very much far though, but the only thing your mind screamed about was Choi Yeonjun this, Choi Yeonjun that, Choi Yeonjun every-single-where. If it was something from him, you wanted nothing to do with it! Except maybe his sweaters and pillows that still had the scent of him, yeah. 

It would be strange if someone found it right on the black pavement your driveway, huh? And definitely used it to unlock your house in the wee hours of the night. Wait! And not even bothering to knock on the door before coming inside with the key that they found too. That would be totally strange...

It seemed the idea got to Soobin when he showed up to your house without you knowing, being smart enough to use the key to open the door. You awoke to his gentle voice luring you out of bed at like two in the morning, apparently just checking up to see if you were okay. Once hearing that, you sobbed onto his white sweatshirt, pretty much feeling bad that you wrecked both his mood to the max and his poor sweater that was victim to both your spit and tears. 

A bleak outcome became of this even if he assured you so many times that it was okay. His shoulder and shirt in the upcoming days were your soggy tissues for the moments where you cried, but that gave you much ranting to let out anyway. Soobin couldn’t believe his very own best friend had the audacity to do this, but it wasn’t his business to do anything but help. He didn’t mention anything to Yeonjun who laughed about your ashamed expression when he listed the reasons to your shortcomings, though it wasn’t like he cared enough about him to see for the time being. He didn’t tell you either, for he didn’t know how you’d react. What he knew mostly was that you were busy cursing Yeonjun and his perfect, white smile that still very much caused flutters to your heart.

Little did you know that Soobin’s everlasting, sweet kindness would get you somewhere farther than what you could’ve ever expected; even if it meant eating tubs of ice cream just to make yourself feel better.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Time goes too fast for your brain to comprehend. 

It’s been... almost one month since that very day.

That very day where Yeonjun broke up with you, marking it a month anniversary of where the love of your life crushed your entire being. That very day where you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever love again. That very day where you realized what the true meaning of what love really is.

So far, you haven’t heard about Yeonjun. Soobin didn’t tell you anything- which you were thankful for- otherwise you would’ve had a mental breakdown about his fluffy cheekies or the bright smile you so longed to have back. Likewise, he said he didn’t mention anything about you to Yeonjun, but you knew the boy was doing well without you. It’s been a long, rough month and you were obviously itching to move on, but that was what broke you the most. 

You did your best to avoid him. You ripped every single photo you had of him in your albums although it caused you so much pain, you burned every single sweater you still had left in your closet for safekeeping, you threw all of the anniversary gifts he gave you- even the promise ring so that you wouldn’t go insane. Even you were surprised at how much you could do by yourself in trying to move on. And little by little, you could tell it was working. Soobin was proud. 

In classes that you were with him, you made sure to sit at the end of the room so that he wouldn’t dare to notice you. Sometimes you’d find yourself staring at him whenever the teacher droned on and on, but luckily you got back into the lesson by engaging yourself by drawing in a few of your old notes to study from. The long hallways were crowded with tons of people, so there’s no way he’d see you too! You made sure of that. At lunch, you instead went to restaurants to waste some time until the next period started again. You made sure everything was perfect. You did everything in your power not to see him. 

Passing period was just for a while, and you met up with Soobin who seemed to be a mess with his black hair all over his eyes. You bit back laughter at his ignorance. 

“Thank you so much for helping me Soobin,” grinning, you passing him some bread from your lunch bag that you knew he would like. He accepted it generously, gnawing down on it as he shot you one of those eye smiles he knew you were weak for. 

"Of course! You’re my friend, why wouldn’t I help you? Also this bread is much more yummy than Yeonjun’s cook-” speaking of the devil, you caught sight of the boy with blue hair (something you admired as you stared at him) who was walking in your direction. His head was turned to the side as he laughed with his friend, but that laughter was enough to shatter your heart all over again

Grabbing Soobin, you pulled him out to the other hall where luckily Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to see you two if he didn’t go there. You hoped he wouldn’t. He would see how you weren’t over him yet! One of you, you couldn’t discriminate between them, sighed. Your heart was thumping way too loudly in your chest in which you were sure anybody could hear it and you teared up, laying a shaking hand over your chest. That was a close one. That was so close, he could’ve seen you like this- like such a mess who wasn’t good enough. 

“It’s because you saw Yeonjun, right?” Soobin’s hands gripped your arms as you suddenly felt overwhelmed with dizziness. What happened to your posture and your stature? You shook horribly, nodding your head at his words. Again, there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you avoided Soobin’s eyes. He must’ve been disappointed in you, but you just couldn’t do it. 

“Yeah. I saw him again, and he could’ve seen me,” you spoke softly only he could hear it, clear tears of agony becoming one puddle onto the hard ground. 

You weren’t sure if you could handle seeing him. You couldn’t allow yourself to after how hard you’ve been working. 

Soobin just pursed his lips, pulling you in for another embrace of his. He doesn’t mind giving them to you whenever you needed it, and seeing you like this hurt him just as much as it did when you saw Yeonjun. Nonetheless, you were surprised at his manner despite the sadness that clouded your vision. You were expecting him to reprimand you since you were doing so well and this could be the next big step, but he didn’t. You knew that was only because he was only worried for you anyway.

What you didn’t know was that when Yeonjun turned the halls to see the two of you holding each other in the dark while you did your best not to make any sounds, he glared at Soobin who found him in the corner of his eye. In response, he furrowed his eyebrows back to him, laying his chin comfortably on top of the head as if it was what he always did. They both stood there for a few moments as your chest heaved up and down with heart-wrenching sounds of hiccups that echoed through the hallway, but not one of them dared to move moved. Yeonjun then shook his head, turning away as his loud, mocking steps were practically silent to you who sobbed on the one you knew you depended too much on. Soobin noticed that his annoyed expression was brimming with green, monstrous jealousy, obviously at the sight. But he didn’t want to tell you.  

You didn’t stop yourself from crying until the soothing voice above reminded you that it was finally time for your next class. Pulling yourself together was the hardest thing to do in that moment as your stomach coiled with a churning spin. You wanted to throw up as regret bubbled in your fake smile. How would you ever move on if Soobin didn’t feel the need to help you?

Future you would’ve definitely gave her everything just to tell you that Soobin’s help failed. 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Was it too early to say that you totally regretted coming here in the first place with Soobin?

All these people dancing upon each other and making out in whatever they could find weren’t your thing. Every place your eyes landed upon was something you definitely needed the eye bleach for, it was too disgusting for you to even glance at once in a while. It could be the drinks that are making people like this, but where was their modesty? You wanted to choke from how much they shoved it in your face that they were happy. That’s also due to the fact that they made you feel extremely single as well, but not the point! 

Instead you were standing near the “punch” table, staring down at your drink since it was so much better to look at instead of people eating their faces out. Some of the boys tried to get you notice them, but you paid no mind to them. No amount of catcalls about what you chose to wore or the seductive snickers they sent your way could pull you out from your trance of the hypnotizing cup. None of them were as cute as your standards anyway... which was still Yeonjun. 

A cup wouldn’t hurt tonight. Just one cup would be fine, wouldn’t it? You winced at the taste, nose scrunching up with disgust when you downed it again. It was hasty to put some more in the cup while you poured the most you’d ever done before, taking no time to repeat the same action. You knew that in a couple of minutes- hours or so, you’d probably end up drunk and alone on the dance floor, but who cares. No but seriously, who cares? Not even yourself, so maybe once you could actually find a distraction which, or for that matter, who makes you feel better. 

One cup.

Two cups. 

Some things led to another and what surrounded you became blurry, hazy, and too raggedy to make sense of.

You weren’t expecting to hear a familiar voice from out the corner send shivers down your back, prodding at your heart as you almost spit back your drink into the same cup. 

It was in no doubt, him.

A lump appeared in your throat, making you choke on your own spit. Soobin lied, that rat lied to you! Was it on purpose or that he really didn’t know? You sure had to give it back to him by socking him in the stomach once you made eye contact with him. Otherwise they were having a date here, but you knew Yeonjun well enough that he wouldn’t do this from your past experiences. 

However, that wasn’t the point! You got back to your surroundings, taking sneaky glances at who you’d been dreading to see this whole month. 

“Please, no! It can’t be him!” You whisper-shouted to no one, holding your breath as the same scent with the same voice inched closer to you in slow steps. It passed through your nose, making your stomach churn with anxiety as you heard his *feet draw nearer and nearer and nearer to you. You could feel the breath in your lungs depleting as your eyes widened with fear, too paralyzed in your spot to move away. Was he going to hurt you even more now? 

Move, please! Just move your legs and leave!

“Y/N, baby...? Please tell me that’s you,” Yeonjun gently called, getting closer with slow stomps and an aching heart in mind. He took in your bored facial features, the thumping in his ears getting louder and louder as seconds passed. It had been a while since he clearly took a look at you; in response, his mind clearly blowing over with a thousand questions per minute. This had to be an illusion, tricking him that it wasn’t the you he was searching for this entire time. Maybe he was drunk, but it just couldn’t be something that wasn’t there! Who else could it be other than the one person he’d been pining for, for a month?

It was you, the only person he’d ever loved. 

The word baby pricked your ear, and you turned to the side to see Yeonjun with tears in his eyes. They were sparkling from the lights all over the house where you could clearly see them, and you cringed, looking away from him. What a sight you didn’t ever want to see for the rest of your life. It only made things worse, obviously! This urge of wanting to baby him while asking him had to be suppressed or else you wouldn’t know what would happen. You were doing so well. You couldn’t give up now. 

“Y/N? Why are you here? I thought you’d be home studying like you always do,” the boy muttered, his eyes focused on your every action as if you’d disappear any second. He was right, you completely wanted to disappear from his sight. Still, you didn’t want to look back at him in fear that your streak would end in a demise. 

“Nothing, and it’s none of your business anyway. Please, leave me alone.”

He only shook his head at this- or what you assumed from the peripheral vision of your eyes- and jerked a thumb at the red solo cup you were holding. You decided to gaze at it intently like you had been doing this whole time, bringing it up to your lips when he shouted something right in your ear. It was quite different than what he was murmuring earlier, and you almost dropped the cup from your already shaking hands. 

“Y/N, stop drinking! I told you it wasn’t good for you, don’t you remember?”

Yeah, but that was back then. 

You shakily sighed, clenching your eyes shut. If you wouldn’t allow yourself to look at him, then let’s not do any of this at all. A headache would soon become of this, if his nagging voice kept annoying you any longer. 

“It’s an acquired taste, you idiot. Just leave me alo-”

"Please, listen to me,” he cut in, easily begging in favor of you. Too curious to hear what his request was, you didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know how to start this off but... I know I’ll never love this way again, just like I do to you. Y/N, can’t you see?! I’m dying without you.” He moved closer to you and you looked down at the floor, too shaken up to say anything. His breath was near enough that you could feel it right against your forehead while he looked directly at you with piercing eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, the words of help stuck in your throat as your poor heart hammered in your poor, wrenching chest. 

He then held out his arm towards you, one so desperate you felt it through his heart that he wanted to let you hold on. You looked away from that too, not wanting the urge of finally seeing him to enrapture you like always. 

“There’s no one else who can ever replace you. It’s me for you and you for me like we’ve always said... can’t you see it too?” His words were too affectionate to get away from now. What was this warm feeling you received upon hearing that? Gulping nervously, the last part of his words resonating in your mind before he drew one, last breath. 

“I need you,” he delicately whispered.

There must’ve been glue beneath you, for you were trapped in that claustrophobic spot in the corner. Of all the words he could say, he just had to hit you right in the chest where everything ached... Suddenly, it had become so silent you could hear a pin drop. Your ears had to be tricking you. There was no way Yeonjun could ever say that to you, after all the things he did to you a month ago. He had to remember that, right?! You can’t go back to him no matter what he says! He doesn’t love you. He never did. 

“I’m leaving. Have the cup if you want it,” you shoved it into his hands and right off the bat, he dropped it like it was nothing. A deep, permeating frown was on his face and he grabbed your hands with his warm ones, holding it as if it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. His thumb stroked the top of yours, clinging on tightly in desperation as if begging you to spare one more glance at him before this love was somewhat forbidden, somewhat over.

“Y/N, I know I messed up pretty bad, but please. Please, be safe out there. I won’t hold you back anymore. Tell me to take you home, and I’ll do it. I need you, just please,” He held onto your hand, his fingers tightly wound with yours and your eyes widened. Why did he have to sound so genuine? 

“Have a good night, Yeonjun,” you glanced at him for the first and last time to see a glistening tear run down his cheek. He was the same. Yeonjun was the same. All the way to his forehead and lips, he was just Yeonjun. His messy, blue hair was still just as charming as your eyes ran through it. His lips were like you left them, and you could do anything just to show him how much you adored them again. His pure eyes were still like the last time you saw them, innocent and sweet like it held no true matter of what the world was like out there. 

It broke you just as much as the last time you saw him. He and you were finally meeting each others’ eyes, but not in a way you ever expected. You wanted to be free from him by the time you saw him again, so that he’d realize you were doing well without him even if the case was far from that.

And you wanted to say that it was what he deserved but why in the hell was your heart saying so much differently?! 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

By the time you got out of where Yeonjun currently was, you could feel yourself losing breath even if you hadn’t walked very far. It was true that you walked as best as you could because the legs which carried you across the dance floor simply felt like dancing jelly; all the while you kept cursing yourself internally for even making a dry conversation with him. 

The air felt tense now. You felt as if you could no longer relax inside that same house for any longer. Soobin wasn’t anywhere to be found, but you didn’t truly search for him in the first place because this was one night where you wanted to enjoy yourself for a little while. 

Maybe some drinking would help it like it had done earlier. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore about Yeonjun if you just changed your mindset due to the drinks! Wobbling, you gripped onto one of the cups that distinctly wasn’t yours and took a few swigs out of it, hoping it would help ease your nerves. 

Three cups. His smiling face appeared in the cup, and you winced at the bitter taste. Why were you torturing yourself with this bitterness? 

Four cups. Well, looks like you were okay, you guessed. 

Some things led to another and here you were. At the dance floor where you were swaying to the music the dj put on whether it was romantic or made to have a blast.

Throwing your hands up to the sky like all the other people were doing, you realized you were having so much fun- for a couple of minutes or even a couple of hours, you weren’t sure- until two, sly hands gripped at your waist. You instantly cowered away with widened eyes, backing away from instinct when they forcibly pulled you back in. 

“Hey, sweet cakes,” they slurred quietly, their breath repulsed with beer mixing in with the tacky scent of cologne they chose. You immediately noted that it was a male’s voice, scrunching your nose up at the rudeness he plainly owned. The audacity he had to come up to you like this instead of introducing himself with a tender voice. And a pet name straight off too?! Give you a break. 

It made you think about how Yeonjun always treated you nicely, naturally acting like a gentleman whose kindness made your heart swell with love.

“Hey, asshole, could you leave me alone?” Despite the fear rushing through your veins, you made sure to stand firm like everything was okay. Sooner or later, he had to get the hint. And if not... you glanced at your heels, then catching a look at his crotch. But we could say that was only Plan B if nothing else worked out. 

He chuckled at what you assumed to be your insolence, a cocky grin crossing his attractive and confident face that only made you want to throw up. 

“Aw, don’t be like that! I saw you dancing right across the room and I knew I had to get a piece of that,” he muttered, getting closer to you by each step. You couldn’t help but groan at his terrible advances towards you. 

“Well, I don’t care. Leave me alone, please.”

The man sighed, rolling his eyes at your words. You hoped that with that action it meant he was finally leaving you alone, giving you the peace you so hopelessly needed after the whiplash that took place with your ex. But he only got close to you, an uneasy grimace taking place instead of the pretentious, arrogant grin from before. Your stomach bubbled with anxiety this time, not feeling much too comfortable in the moment to dance again.

“Help! Someone, please!” No matter how much you kicked at the bottom area of his body (and missing them completely since your aim terribly sucked when you became drunk), he wouldn’t budge to your surprise. You tried squirming away due to the resistance of being a damsel in distress like every saving person needed to be, but the man would clearly not move with all your efforts! 

He puckered lips swiftly while you hurriedly tried to move away with the best of your abilities. You were sure as hell you couldn’t get out of there even if you used all the strength that was left in your body. With the wall pressed up against your back and the looming arms that trapped you in, there was no way you could leave without pleasing him. He was getting way too close for comfort and you closed your eyes shut, no longer feeling the courage to shout at anyone through the blasting music. 

“Now, how about you give me a kiss from those pretty-”

“she said leave her alone, you asshole!” 

In one, sweeping moment which had you off your feet, you felt someone’s back brush against your front while you squealed with a deadening fright. At the very last bit of being harassed, you never would’ve expected to be saved by the one and only who you thought was never going to come back. Hastily you opened your eyes, only to see Yeonjun whose chest was heaving up and down from how fast he ran just to protect you.

“Leave her alone or else I’ll be forced to do something much worse- something more horrendous than you could ever imagine.”

Seeing how tall Yeonjun was in comparison to him, he muttered something under his breath before moving along to another direction. And just like that, he was gone. Gone to another place where you hoped never to see him again to bother either of you.

You internally thanked the heavens, eyes tearing up from how grateful you were to not have been physically attacked. 

Yeonjun speedily turned back to you, his face blooming into a worrisome expression. Lips forming into a pout, he cradled your cheek, checking everything from your face to your arms which were shaking terribly in order to be sure you were unscathed. 

Even if you hated him so much at the moment, even if you thought he was a dreadful person for hurting you, even if what he was doing could be because it was the right thing to do and not because he loved you, this was the Yeonjun who you fell in love with in the first place. He was right in front of you again and no matter how much you wanted to back away from him, you couldn’t deny that he was your precious knight in shining armor. 

“Yeonjun, thank you- I’m scare...” Your brain wasn’t able to form a comprehensive sentence, words jumbled together to create a nonsensical grumble you were sure he couldn’t understand. He just cooed at you softly, taking you into his warm arms which felt just as cozy as his sweet heart. Your face subconsciously buried upon his chest, nuzzling into it as he gently patted the top of your head. 

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m right here. There’s no need to worry. I’m right here, and I’ll always be right here.” His hug this time was made for you, and you happily sighed with a newfound relief. Tighter, you clung onto him, hoping he didn’t mind. A part of you knew that he didn’t care because he kept pressing those soft kisses he knew you adored onto the crown of your head. 

Your brain was yelling at you that this was wrong, he could be toying with your heart again, but everything felt so right. Your heart wasn’t corresponding to your mind, telling you something the sober you wouldn’t be able to understand. 

You were safe at last. 

The both of you stayed like that for a few minutes with you sniffling into his embrace before he lightly rubbed your shoulder. 

“Come on, baby, let’s go home to make you calm down,” he took your hand into his tenderly, treating it with the utmost respect. After all, it was what you deserved after all of that trauma. 

All the way he made sure you were alright strolling beside him, protecting you like the world depended on it. His scent was too addictive and you followed him, holding his hand tightly while a soft smile became of his face. 

Before you knew it, his steps led you to his house. 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Yeonjun, stop! You know I’m-” you erupted with an intermittent series of laughter, giggling over and over again whenever his fingers accidentally traced against your stomach. He was busy carrying you to wherever he was taking you, whining about how you didn’t deserve less from sleeping on somewhere comfortable. 

“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” he giggled along with you, nuzzling his nose against yours. Anybody else who saw this could see that you both were clearly an affectionate mess, touching one another whenever they pleased. 

Sooner than later after all that messing around, he laid you down on top of the bed as gently as he could, setting you down as if you were a fragile vase. His fingers lingered at your side before he cleared his throat, instantly pulling away at how quiet the atmosphere had gotten. 

It was hard to see his face now; the dimness of the room and not to mention the side effects of being drunk disrupting your normal vision, but you could still see how intent he was on gazing at you. You grew shy at how long the duration of time he chose to stare at you with keen eyes, looking away compared to your strong, resistance persona from before. 

Yeonjun found this little bit to be endearing, sketching out your whole, entire face in his head. To your adorable, button nose, to your cheeks which he oh so wanted to pinch, and to your lips that he was too afraid to kiss without permission, everything was simply perfect- a masterpiece that cannot be described in words. If it was up to Yeonjun, he would never look away because he was afraid he’d lose you again.

But this wasn’t right.

If he was there, it would only hurt you like you said earlier. His heart was screaming at him to let you know that he loved you more than anything else he’d ever laid eyes upon, but no, that wouldn’t be right either. He wasn’t sure how you’d react once he told you that. You’d leave him and rightfully so. 

Even if he was drunk as hell, he knew you wouldn’t be too comfortable sleeping with him once you sobered up in the morning. Besides, it was his fault- he doesn’t get to treat you like the way he did before since he really has no right to. 

Sighing, he turned to go until something grabbed onto his hand. His eyebrows rose up, but he didn’t allow himself to look back or else he’d betray all his morals.

Like he expected, you were the one holding him in place, your fingers sliding against his as they squeezed tightly. 

“Yeonjun... stay? Just for tonight?”

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

A soft, genuine smile spread throughout his face as he turned over on his side, immediately expecting to touch someone that kept him company from last night. It had been a while since things were arranged like this, a month if he remembered correctly in his hazy mind. This was something he’d been desiring for such a long time already... he was going to make the most of it even if it was just a little bit.

Wait a minute... his fingers danced throughout the covers, eyebrows turning into a frustrated furrow and he finally realized what was happening. 

But- but you were there with him last night! You weren’t an illusion! Your voice resonated through his head along the lines of asking him to stay, but you just weren’t there. 

Panic swept throughout Yeonjun’s body as his eyes searched the whole entire room for any sign of her, looking at the door which was wide upon unlike last night.

“I messed up,” he groaned as he raked his fingers through his messy hair, heart dropping to his stomach as if it had weighed 1,000 pounds. His shaking, cold hand plummeted upon a pillow that was still warm and coated with her warm scent he always adored coming home to whenever he had a rough day. 

But you were no longer there. You were gone. 

“I lost her.”

---

Posted: 2/15/21- 6:30pm

Tags: 

[lilith-of-rivia]

Bread and Tarts 💕💕

Paring: Yennefer X Reader 

Word count: 

Warnings: Teeth rotting fluff

Summary: Yennefer comes back to the home of her lover after being away on a hunt with Geralt and Ciri. Shes reminded why she loves the woman.

Request:  Anon:  hey 🌿 some fluff with 11, 13, 16 from dialog where yennefer and reader are trying to cook please 💕

Masterlist

“Are you sure we wont be a bother to the woman?” Geralt’s voice broke the silence as they road. His question being directed to the mage he road with. Yennefer’s eyes rolled before she looked away from the path they were riding down.

“She is one of the sweetest humans I have ever met Geralt. She will not mind.” She could still sense the nerves of her past lover. She knew he was uneasy being in the same room as his ex-lovers new lover.

even though the two had not been romantically involved for many many years, he still had no pleasure in making a new partner uncomfortable, and asking for housing after the hunt was completed made him nervous.

“Does she know about us?” Ciri’s voice was heard behind the pair, Jaskier looking towards the mage.

Yennefer and Geralt even though they were no longer romantic, continued parenting the girl.

“Of course she does, always asks to meet you Cirilla.” Yennefer said looking back at the, young woman.

“And what of the hunk of a witcher you use to sleep with?”

“Jaskier!” Geralt’s voice was harsh as he turned to look at the smirking bard.

“Y/N isn't the jealous type. She knows all of the songs of the Witcher. She is truly a huge fan of the man.” Yen smirked at the man next to her.

“Hmmm.” Was the only response she got.

***

The four riders approached the home in the middle of a valley. It was much larger than Geralt had thought.

The door to the home flew open as Y/N ran out, her butt long [hair color] hair flowing in the soft breeze. Her eyes were bright green, boring into Yennefer’s violet orbs. The smile that stretched over her face made Yen’s stomach flip and heart race. She made her feel things no other creature had.

Yen dismounted her horse and ran to the woman, her arms wrapping around the smaller woman as the clung to one another.

“I missed you.” Y/n whispered to the raven haired woman. Yennefer pulled back, placing her hands on Y/n’s cheeks before smooching their lips together. The sigh of releaf leaving her partners mouth making her smile into the kiss.

“I told you I’d be back.” The sound of others behind Yennefer made Y/n look over her shoulder, spotting the trio her girlfriend traveled with.

“Hello.” The smile on her face surprised the three, her hand was laced with Yennefer’s. In a world like theirs finding bright, bubbly humans wasn't normal.

“Hi!” Ciri was the first to dismount her horse approaching Y/N.

“Oh my goodness! Cirilla? I've heard so much about you. You are even more beautiful than I thought!” Y/N grabbed Ciri’s arm and hugged her tightly, throwing the girl off at first but she quickly hugged her back.

Y/n realized Ciri and looked to the bard and Witcher that traveled with her lover. Geralt felt his breathing get caught in her throat.

“My what an honor it is to meet you Geralt. You are truly a hero.” The words completely threw Geralt for a loop, his eyes bulging from his head. Yennefer couldn't help but snicker at his reaction, knowing her girlfriend was to sweet for her own good. Yen placed her hand softly on her lovers back, laying a gentl kiss on her temple.

“I know I know you do not like being called that, but you've saved so many people, I think you need to be appreciated.” Y/n smiled at him and looked at Yen, her lips in a soft smile.

“Common I’ll show you where you can put your horses. I have a guest home in the back, suitable for the three of you, a bath is also there. The well is in-between the houses, please use as much as you'd like.” The three followed Y/n to the stalls and they put up their floors.

Once the three were comfortable in the guest home Y/n and Yen made their way back to Y/n’s main home. Yen’s hand was placed on the small of her back as she spoke of the garden, the chicken she raised, and the market’s flourishing growth in the town that wasn't far from her home.

“I was going to make bread, and some tarts would you care to help?” Y/n asked as they entered the house, Yennefer placing her things by the door. Her heart felt fuller than ever.

For many years Yennefer was angry that her choice to have babies were stripped from her, no one ever made her feel better. Not Geralt or even Istredd.

But Y/n was different, when she met her at the market in her town on a hunt with Geralt, she new she was different. She made a promise to Y/n that she would always come back to her, she would always be there for her. That was nearly 5 years ago, her promise never wavered.

Yennefer wrapped her arms around her lovers waist, placing a sweet kiss on her lips before she rested her head on Y/n’s forehead.

“Id love too, baby. But I don’t know what I’m doing.” Y/n’s giggle made her heart swell.

Y/n turned to the kitchen and began pulling her ingredients from the cabinets. Flower, jams, fresh fruit, yeast and large mixing bowls Yennefer had brought back to her form Rivia on one of her last adventures.

“Go grab 6 eggs from the coop?” Y/n asked as she tied her hair back away from her face. Yen smiled placing a quick kiss on her lips before going to the chicken coop, on her way out she saw Geralt and Ciri in the field. Geralt calling out moments and direction, a blindfolded Ciri following his commands, her sword falling threw the air.

She opened the gate to the coop walking into the small covering and pulled the eggs from under the chickens behind. She pilled the eggs in her dress before walking to the well, gently placing them in a bucket before rinsing them off.

“She seems nice.” It was Jaskier, startling the mage.

“Lord Jaskier, make yourself known.” Jaskier snickered at Yennefer his arms crossed over his chest.

“But yes, shes more than nice. shes everything to me.”

“I never took you as the forever type. Always figured Ciri would be the only forever love you gave.” Yennefer turned to look at the bard, the clean eggs in her hands.

“I did too, but some times things changed, she was my change. Now, go bathe, you smell like dirty balls.” Her smirk made the bard grown before turning to go to the house to bathe.

“I got them baby.” Yen’s voice carried threw the house as she walked in the front door.

She walked into the kitchen, before stopping dead in her tracks, her eyes wide as she looked at the flower covered kitchen, and her flower covered girlfriend.

“What the hell happened?” She said laughing.

“I couldn't get the bag open, I ripped to hard, it blew up.” Her girlfriend was overly sensitive. Especially compared to Yennefer’s hard scary exterior.

Y/n’s eyes were glossed over with expecting tears, being rather upset over the wasted flower and money, and her ideas of baking bread and tarts for her guests now gone because the main ingredient was covering herself and the floor.

Yennefer quickly placed the eggs on the counter, placing her cool hands on Y/n’s hot cheeks, resisting the urge to smoosh them together.

“Don’t you dare cry, its just flower, angel we can get more.” Y/n’s breaths were hard and ragged as she sniffed back her tears.

“I ruined it,” Her voice broke as those tears fell down, leaving streaks in her flower covered face.

Yennefer wasted no time in wiping tears of her lovers cheeks. The tears mixing with the flower making a paste, causing Yen to chuckle.

“That’s quite gross my angel, your tears are pasty.” Yennefer’s comment made Y/n laugh threw her tears. Y/n new she could be a little over sensitive, but it was what made her, her. Her heart was pure, and Yennefer would do anything to keep that.

“I’m sorry I’m such a sensitive bitch.” Y/n mumbled leaning into Yen’s hands.

“You are not.” Y/n cocked a suspicious eyebrow at her girlfriend, who was smiling.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not, never would think of it. You are sensitive sure, but its who you are, its how you see the good in everyone. How you see a man like Geralt who is scary and looks as though he could squash you, yet you see him as a hero. You are sensitive yes, but you are not a bitch. You have a heart to pure for the world we live in.” Yennefer’s speech shocked them both, her past life made it a bit difficult for her to express with words how she felt, normally sticking to easy ‘i love yous’ or showing her emotions threw physical touch.  

“The world truly underestimates you, Yennefer of Vengerberg.” Their lips met in a sweet kiss, the flower from Y/n’s face transferring to Yen’s.

“I love you.” Yennefer whispered against her lips.

***

“Thank you all for accompanying us to the market, I’m sorry dinner will be late, due to my stupidity.” Y/n spoke as she, yennefer, Jaskier, Geralt and Ciri walked down the cobblestone path to the market in the center of the town.

“Don’t take this personally, but what do you and Yennefer possibly have in common?” Jaskier’s question was followed by a loud grunt as Geralt smacked the back of his head.

“Our love for plants and animals were what made us comparable, and the rest, is just destiny. We may not be two peas in a pod, but we mold together like two puzzle pieces, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I’ve loved her.” Y/n’s companions didn’t have time to respond to her open heart. She left the grouped being engulfed in a hug by the woman who sold her flower. Geralt walked next to her grabbing the two bags throwing them over his shoulder effortlessly, but gaining some bad looks from those around the town.

“If you all could divert your glares somewhere else, the man is helping, nothing more.” Yennefer spoke, defending her friend and her daughters father.

“Now how about we go back home, and we can all make dinner? A family activity.” Y/n’s sweet voice filled Yen’s ears as she held her hands as the walked.

“Family?” Ciri asked.

Y/n smiled at her and nodded.

“I cannot have children, neither can Yen, my family’s been dead for a long time. Everyone needs a family. If you’ll have me, my home is yours.” Yennefer’s lips pressed to her girlfriend's cheek sweetly.

“A family it is then.” Yen said with a smile bigger than any one had seen.

[notaburgler]

30 days of quarantine

Bokuto x Fem!Reader tw: language, implied sex, implied anal sex, swearing

A quarantine had been ordered forcing all of Japan to stay indoors. 

“30 days, at minimum.” The official said from the conference.

It would be hard, no doubt about that. Your live-in boyfriend was a ball of energy that wasn’t easily contained. He couldn’t lounge around or be lazy, even if it was in the name of health and safety.

He loved socializing. He didn’t even need to know them. Many times you’d been stuck at the entrance of the grocery store with a tapping foot, waiting for him to be finished with the lengthy conversation he was having with the person from the other line or the cashier. You wondered how he managed not to see the look of disinterest when he babbled on and on. But you loved the idiot, no matter how long he held you up everywhere you went. 

Staying indoors and refraining from any kind of personal social interaction would wear on him. He was a social butterfly and the government just clipped his wings. For you, this was something you felt prepared for. Unlike him, you relished in time at home. Lazily lounging on the couch and munching on your favorite snack food was a night well spent in your eyes. 

Your gaze fell longingly to your boyfriend as he pouted on the couch next to you, “Don’t worry babe.” You leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, “we will still have fun.” 

Your smile brought him back to life. He had faith in you, trusted you. His grin made your cheeks burn, he was so easy to bring back from his sad mode, you couldn’t understand how, or why, Fukurodani ever had an issue in the first place. 

“You’re right babe! Plus,” he slid his hand along your lower back, “we get plenty of alone time. Maybe we should work on starting that family you want.” His bushy eyebrows wagged at you making you shake your head.

With a roll of your eyes, you popped another kiss on his cheek, “babe, it goes: dating, marriage, then kids, then we die.” A pat to his thigh before lifting yourself up from the couch. 

Day 1- 7pm

“I decided to start a journal documenting how we handled the quarantine. Koutaro seems to enjoy relaxing for the first time ever. Occasionally, he will get spurts of energy and start pacing or go to the kitchen and open the fridge. I can’t help but laugh when he stares inside it for what seems like ages, then closes it and comes back to the couch with nothing to show. It’s funny watching him. 

Maybe I’ll document how he handles this quarantine. Only 29 days to go.”

Day 2- 10:45pm

“Nothing unusual today. Kou talked my ear off about volleyball. I love him, I really do, but if I have to hear another story about an amazing spike he made in high school again, I might not make it to the end of the quarantine. But I still listen and smile. I have no idea what the hell he's talking about… like, what the fuck is a Libero? He said that Komi is the best out there. 

In all honesty, only day 2 cooped up in the house and I can tell he’s desperate to get back on the court. Maybe I’ll actually pay attention at the next game? Not that I don’t, I just have no idea what’s going on! But Kou slaps the ball really good.

He’s in bed right now, staring at me. God I love him. Time to go get a bit freaky.”

Day 3- 11:11am

“It’s starting to hit me a bit. The quarantine blues really are a thing. I think it might be because Kou has moments of sadness. He’s like a dog, waiting for it’s master to come home from work. He stares out the window with a forlorn look on his face like it’s been years since he had smelled fresh air. 

Like, babe, we have a backyard! 

It’s not huge, but it’s enough to get some fresh air. Kuroo helps a bit. The window in our bedroom and the window in his face each other. They chatted for a few hours today. Gave me a chance to clean up the place. For fucks sake babe, it’s not like you’re busy! Clean up after yourself!

Note to self: Teach Kou how clean as you go before having children with him. 

I think we will watch a movie tonight. It’s weird, we’ve been together in this house for 3 days, but yet we haven’t really spent time together. He's always so busy doing something. He just has to keep moving. It’s that, or he’s sleeping.”

Day 3- 1:39pm

“What in the actual fuck Kou! My god damn boyfriend is currently having a screaming contest with Kuroo. Those two idiots are just sitting in the windows holding a scream for as long as they can…. why? Why did I agree to move into a house right next to Kuroo? Why do I hate me?”

Day 4- 9am

“He’s still asleep. It’s the first time he’s slept in so far. It may be because he was up super late watching porn. I don’t understand how he can have so much energy? I tapped out after round 3, but he wasn’t done yet. 

He is very cute when sleeping. I love him…”

Day 4- 6:56pm

“Well, disaster strikes!

It was a sweet effort, don’t get me wrong. He tried to cook dinner- key word: tried.

It was both burnt and under cooked… at the same time! I don’t know how he managed to fuck it up that bad, but here we are!

I still ate it. I smiled. I hope he couldn't read into the look of disgust I clearly had in my eyes. Maybe I’ll get him online cooking lessons or something. He seemed rather eager to cook, and I’m not one to stop him from trying, especially if that means I don’t have to.”

Day 5- 9:43am

“He tried cooking again. I got breakfast in bed. He’s such a pure-hearted idiot… my idiot. He made the eggs look like volleyballs, it was a cute effort. I told him that in a way to thank him for being such a sweetheart, I’d do lunch and dinner. 

He’s tried cleaning the house, but somehow manages to make a bigger mess than before. My cheeks hurt from laughing at him fighting the dishwasher. Maybe this whole experience will help him appreciate what I do around the house more- not that he doesn’t already. Sometimes I think he assumes that since I’m going to college online and not working that it’s my job to clean up, and by all means, I’m more than happy to do so. But even when I’m home all day, some verbal appreciation and a lending hand here and there is also expected from him. I’m blessed that I am able to stay home, but I’m also not the only one that lives here.”

Day 6- 2:15pm

“He’s crying because Akaashi called to check in. Kou is such a social man, being out of contact with his friends is hard on him. I think he’s missing volleyball too. He’s been watching old matches on the computer a lot. He has this look of someone that’s missing their spouse on his face. If only he’d look at me the way he looks at a volleyball…”

Day 6- 5:09pm

“Akaashi is now FaceTiming him. Kou begged to see his “beautiful face” so now they are FaceTiming… he never FaceTimes with me! Why am I jealous of his high school setter? Imma go give him a piece of my mind. Update when I return.”

Day 6- 5:13pm

“Akaashi is beautiful. I have chosen to forgive Koutaro.”

Day 7- 8:46am

“He wants to build the best pillow fort ever. Kuroo is throwing all of his pillows and blankets over the fence so we can make one. I’m pumped! Hoping to turn the entire living room into a pillow fort.”

Day 8- 7pm

“Lazy day today for me. Kou has been getting more and more restless. He found old paint in the garage and decided to repaint the spare room. This… will not go well.”

Day 8- 8pm

“Note to self: make sure Kou has a spotter when painting on a ladder. Also, call a carpet cleaner when this is over.”

Day 9- 5am

“Kou is up early. I can’t sleep without him next to me. He curls up into my back and holds me so close, I love it. He woke up early to work out. He’s currently running circles around the backyard… the backyard is not big enough to run circles… also, I don’t think he’s shaved since day 1. Neither has Kuroo- oh god they aren’t shaving!

I’ve seen Kou take selfies each morning. Is he documenting how his hair grows? These two are so weird. I want him to come back to bed. I want to cuddle!”

Day 10- 3:47am

“I’m gonna murder Koutaro Bokuto, I swear. His snoring is so goddamn loud….”

Day 10- 8:05am

“I didn’t sleep at all. Kou was tossing and turning all night long. Apparently, he snores. This is news to me! I’d never heard him snore before, or at least, not like that. We had a fucking freight train rolling through our bedroom at top speeds, blaring it’s horn. Only 10 days in… I guess this is a real test of our relationship, huh?”

Day 14- 3:36pm

“Kuroo waited around the window for a while. We talked for a bit. It had been a while since we talked, it was a nice break. He was busy with work for a while, but this was a great chance to finally relax and chill. He told me that he picked up a few games at the store before the lock down. This was evident by the few cases strewn between our houses. He probably tried to let Kou borrow them and didn’t make the toss… and they call themselves athletes? 

Kuroo was a nice break from the monotony of this lock up. I’m getting cabin fever and would like a chance to go for a walk or maybe-”

Day 14- 3:40pm

“So… Kou found out the hard way why we don’t play volleyball inside the house. Now our coffee table is broken and there is glass all over. Ugh… if old polaroid cameras were still a thing, and I had one, I’d leave a picture of my face right now. Just, ugh… 16 more days… 16.”

Day 16- 9:03pm

“Today was a nice day. I think Kou watching so much porn has made him hyper aroused. I swear, we’ve fucked on every surface of this house. He asked to get a bit adventurous, wondering what I would be willing to explore with him.

The list is rather long. The standard stuff normal couples try at least once… right?

Anal, 69, bondage, role play… stuff like that.

He says he doesn’t want the bondage to be like the porn he’s seen though, he can’t begin to even fathom hitting me, even if it’s something I asked for. He said, “the best you’ll get is a smack on the ass, babe.” And followed that up with one helluva slap to my butt. Ace of Fukurodani for ya, leaving hand prints on my ass. That’s fine, I don’t really like the whole slapping thing. But I’d be willing to dip into choking or some light shit like that… meh, we are gonna talk about it more tonight. I’ll write our list of what we wanna try next.

The good news is that I get to go grocery shopping today! Never thought I’d be excited about that!”

Kou and my kinks to try:

Anal

Bondage/shibari

69

Role play

Student/teacher

Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby

Doctor or nurse/patient

Boss/Secretary

DS

Pegging? (I’ll convince him!)

Mutual masturbation

Orgasm control/denial

Over-stimulation

Hot/cold play

Wax play

“I’m sure we won’t get all of them, but I think he’s game to try.”

Day 17- 10:53am

“WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ANAL SEX MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU GOTTA SHIT?!?!? I swear, I couldn’t enjoy even a second of it because I kept feeling like I was shitting all over the bed. Kou said it felt like he was fucking a silicone coke bottle; tight at the beginning, but after you press through... not so much. I mean, at least we tried it. I don’t think we are gonna go down chocolate lane again. 

Not sure what we will try tonight. Actually, I might need a break from that. My hips hurt more than normal, and I still feel like my asshole is gonna prolapse any second… fuck that.”

Day 18- 8:20am

“Where the fuck did he get a saxophone? We don’t have a saxophone. It’s 8 in the goddamn morning and he’s trying to learn- I swear Kuroo… he’s got a trumpet. A FUCKING TRUMPET! These two… I love Kou so much, and I’d do anything for him, but I have to know where he got the sax from.”

Day 18- 8:34am

“I knew getting prime was a mistake.”

Day 18- 10:17am

“We agreed to have a lazy day. He put away the sax. I hid all of his reeds. It’ll be a shame when he goes to play again and has no reeds to play with. Sorry babe, but I’m on edge and I can’t handle you squealing your saxophone all day long. 

About to pick a movie to watch while we eat. Maybe a show, who knows? I was scanning Netflix earlier and saw a cute little show called “happy tree friends” looks like something we might like. Just a cute show to bring back nostalgic memories. Maybe we will binge The whole series?”

Day 18- 11:19am

“So… that show… not what I was expecting. Kou is traumatized. This whole day of relaxing really isn’t panning out as I hoped. Maybe I’ll watch more after I rock my baby-of-a-boyfriend to sleep tonight. He’s fragile, but so damn cute.”

Day 21- 10:02am

“He’s started one of the dumbest things I’ve seen so far. I can handle the saxophone, I can deal with the screaming contest, I can even tolerate the paint fiasco… but why on earth would he create his own food challenges? He’s eating so much food! Babe! We don’t have that much food to be eating in one day! 

Oh god… please Kuroo, please stop encouraging him. Well, at least he’s not making his own anymore, he’s just doing food challenges-“

Day 21- 10:05am

“He tried to do the milk challenge. The one where you try to drink a gallon of milk in one go. I don’t need him crying and vomiting because of it.”

Day 21- 3:18pm

“I’ve been helping him work out. It’s helping him stay relaxed and chill. He just can’t sit still. So at this moment, I’m sitting on his feet watching tv while he does crunches behind me. This is kinda nice. I like doing this. Maybe once he starts doing push ups, I’ll lay under him and get a kiss each time he comes down.”

Day 22- 10:05am

“We watched The Lion King and now Kou has taken the cat and lifted it up above his head like Rafiki did with Simba. He’s hanging out the window and now Kuroo is rounding up all of the stuffed animals his girlfriend has and any animal shaped object in his house and putting them on his lawn. Kou doesn’t know the words to the song, but he tries. This may be the weirdest thing they have done to date.”

Day 22- 11am

“I think the cat is traumatized. It keeps running away from Kou when he comes near. Now I have a depressed boyfriend and a terrified cat. I wanna be mad, but he’s so cute when he sulks. Plus, he cuddles me when he’s upset. I like that part.”

Day 24- 9:43am

“So, he's rearranged the living room. As I’m writing, he’s moving the couch I’m sitting on… again. I liked how we had it, but he needs to stay occupied. I’d rather him do this than to try to create an indoor slip and slide like he was gonna do.”

Day 24- 1:28pm

“He’s passing the volleyball back and forth with Kuroo. At least he’s still able to socialize, even if it is from a distance. I can see him want to spike the ball over the fence. He says it’s the perfect height. But it’s not safe since the backyard is so small and both of them are so tall… how?!? How are they so tall?!? 

I’ve taken this time to work on a few projects that I’ve been trying to finish for a while now. I’ve got a blanket I’m making for Kou that I haven’t had time to work on, I’ve needed to finish that birthday present for my mom, there’s a tv show that I’ve been wanting to start, but Kou isn’t interested in it. Today has been fun. And our furniture ended up in exactly the same place it was when we woke up. I think he just wanted to see what our options are.

6 more days and hopefully, we are free from this mess.”

Day 28- 11:35am

“Almost there! Kou and I have handled this pretty well. We’ve fought a few times, but nothing worth mentioning. I’ve come to realize that even though he can be destructive and air headed, he’s also so sweet and compassionate, it’s probably the reason I fell in love with him. I couldn’t have done this without him. I would have gone crazy!

There’s a press conference tomorrow regarding the quarantine. God I hope this is over. I can’t stand to see him so desperate to get out of the house. He’s FaceTiming with Akaashi again. Their friendship is so sweet and pure. Maybe we will adopt Akaashi? I’ll run it by him.”

Day 28- 11:43am

“Akaashi said no.”

At 8am, 29 days into this national quarantine, a well dressed man took to an empty room and faced the camera. The broadcast was live and you were sure everyone was watching. 

You took in a deep breath, squeezing Koutaro’s hand a bit too tight. Nervous, annoyed, a bit nutty; all of these could easily describe how you felt having been cooped up for 29 days.

After a moment to go over his notes, he spoke, “citizens, your cooperation in this time of need and crisis has been noticed. It is understood and acknowledged that the hardships and issues you face staying indoors for so long. It is with that that I must regretfully inform you…”

Day 29- 8:02am

“Fuck.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #350

“let’s play a love game, play a love game  /  do you want love, or you want fame?  /  are you in the game?”

Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. Would you kiss this person again? I know I fucking would and I hate it more than I could possibly express. Name something that is on your bedroom wall? Lots of artwork, mostly of meerkats. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I need another desk to put stuff on. If you could paint your walls any color what would it be? Something pastel. Maybe like, peach. Soft and warm and would really bring light to the room. What does your phone case look like? It's just this boring purple one that came with the phone. What do you take the most pictures of? My camera roll says my pets, hahaha. What is the point of Twitter for you? Liking Mark's shit lmao. What does your planner look like? I don’t have one. If you get into an argument what is it usually about? My anxiety, I think. What are you always in the mood for? Ummm probably a car ride where I can control the music in the passenger seat. It is very, very rare I'll turn that opportunity down. What’s the last emergency you dealt with? I don't really know; I'm thankfully not in these situations very much, especially when you're cooped up at home. I probably haven't been actually engaged in an emergency since I had to call 911 for my mom before she found out about her cancer. She was basically immobile from agony in her abdomen. Do you have a son? I'm perfectly happy without a son, or kids period. Are you married? No. Have you ever worn a suit? I haven't. Have you ever had to call 911? Twice for Mom. How many keys are on your key-ring? Just one for the house. What’s the last thing you created? An RP post would count as art creation, I'd say. Who are your closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Well, they might be it as far as friends I consider truly close to me. I have a few other people I consider good friends, but we're just not like... on that "close" level, you know? Lisa is maybe another, and Lyndsey perhaps, both WoW friends. Are you ready to have a family? I hate that "have a family" tends to mean get married and have kids, which I'm guessing is what you're implying. If that's the case, no, given I don't want kids and am not fit to get married right now. I'm not even with anyone. I'm content right now with just living with my mom and my two pets, who are children well enough to me. Have you ever taken a DNA test? No. Do you have a family cemetery? No. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? *shrugs* I think it's pretty normal. How do you feel about swallowing pills? What do you mean how do I "feel" about it? I just do it if I need to. What animal is the scariest in your opinion? Some kind of bug, probably. Giant centipedes creep me the fuck out, for one, and I've heard their bite is incredibly painful. I've also always been very afraid of Australia's funnel web spiders since watching some show on Animal Planet when I was younger; I think it scarred me for life, aha. And let's not forget the murder hornets. No thnx, rather die. :') Have you ever questioned your sanity? Way more than once, my friend. How do you feel about people wearing fur coats? Are you for or against it? I am VIOLENTLY against it unless it is for survival in extreme climates and you don't have access to other material. That aside, there is NO way you could possibly convince me that it's okay to wear the fur of something once living on yourself for ~fashion~. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Let's not go here. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? Haha, yeah. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon or strawberry. I'm not a massive jellybean fan. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? I've never tried it, no. What book/movie has made you cry the hardest? Either The Notebook or Titanic. Something you feared as a kid but don’t anymore? Thunderstorms. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one. Just wash it with water in the shower and then use a washcloth when I feel the need. Would you rather have a snake or a tarantula as a pet? I want both, but I prefer snakes. What is something you are NOT looking forward to? I both am and am not looking forward to my second Covid vaccine because it's notoriously worse than the first; the only bright side to it is that after the potential side effects blow over, I'm job hunting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time on my phone. Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? Hot, but I like both. Who taught you how to swim? Dad, I think? Can you do push-ups? No. Do you like Doritos? Yesssss. Who is the closest friend that you live by? I don't know. Have you ever banged your head against something? I've had two concussions before, so, y'know. Have you ever jumped on a trampoline? Yeah, I loved that as a kid. Do you like watching scary movies? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt? No, considering I have like no ass, rip. Has one of your friends ever tried to "hook you up?" Ugh, yes. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? Landmarks, by a mile. Although, I'm super bad with directions, so it probably wouldn't really matter much. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Yeah, you got to. Does your house have more than one fireplace? No. What was your favourite gym class moment? The one and only thing I liked about gym as a kid was when you took one of those rainbow tarps and made like, an air bubble underneath to make this awesome dome everyone sat in. Ya missed out if you didn't do that. Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yeah. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? Not at all; I was always flattered, knowing they cared enough to want mine. Apple Jacks: yay or nay? I looove those. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie? Haha yeah, I think it's the second one? Such iconic scenes. It's the one with the Mary Jane girl that Shaggy liked... oh, jokes that went over your head as a kid. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say? I'm too lazy to list the convos themselves, but the people involved are my friends Chelsea and Ian, as well as a friend's mother. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No. It's always on vibrate, and I just turn the brightness way down. What is the sexual orientation of the last person you talked to? She's straight. What’s your favourite hairstyle on the opposite sex? Don't you fucking dare laugh, emo hair is A++. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? Not a big one, no. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? Do I?! I love the first one (though for a while I wasn't very happy they swapped the lead role from Harry to his wife), and while the second is literal trash story-wise and it's ALL over the damn place, I still enjoy it with just how much I adore SH as a whole. What movie scared you the most out of any other movies? The Rite, because the concept of being raped and impregnated by a demon is fucking horrifying to me. Have you ever wanted to be on American Idol? When was this? Nah. Name 5 things you don’t believe in. 1.) "Everything happens for a reason;" 2.) karma; 3.) destiny/fate; 4.) psychics, fortune tellers, all that; and 5.) luck, at least in the sense of someone having set "good" or "bad" luck. If you could have any friend that you’ve lost back, who would you pick? Probably Megan. If you have pets, who normally puts food and water in their dish? Me for both of them. Do you organize the pictures on your computer into different folders or are they all just under “My Pictures”? I have folders. Do you think if someone is in a relationship, that it is acceptable to have sleepovers with other people of their preferred sex? Eh, nah, that feels a bit far to me. I am very firmly for friends still being able to hang out even if they're each other's preferred gender, but a sleepover sounds a bit too intimate, even without sharing a bed. Would you shoot a gun if given the chance? If you’ve shot a gun before, how many different types of guns have you shot? No. I'm very intimidated by guns and nearly shook when I merely handed a friend his (not for anything bad, he just carried it with him when he goes out), and I've got noooo plans of holding one again unless my life depends on it. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing things like artwork or poetry you’ve written? Is it because you don’t think it’s good enough to show off or because it’s too personal? You. Have. Zero. Idea. It's for both reasons, and it's far more severe in person. Online, I actually don't mind much, oddly enough... I can't quite pin down why. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? Knives scare me like five times more than guns. Scary movies have nothing to do with it, though. They're just so sharp and the idea of being stabbed by one is terrifying. As someone with a history of self-mutilation too (not with knives, but I've thought about it and once planned to slit my throat with one, but Mom stopped me), they just make me incredibly uncomfortable to the point I can barely hold a "real" knife to just slice food. Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Many times. What is your LEAST favorite Disney animated movie? That I've seen, uhhhhh... I don't know man, there are way too many Disney movies lmao. Who was the last person’s house you went to besides your own? My sister's. On YouTube, who are two people you find hilarious? I'm just counting GameGrumps as one, and then you can't forget Shane Dawson, regardless of the controversy. He probably made me laugh more than any other YouTuber. Do you shave your pits? Yeah. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I don't think so. Besides the USA, what is your favorite country? I'm not nearly informed enough about foreign countries' politics and laws and mannerisms to have a favorite. Would you rather go to Europe or Asia? Europe. Would you rather go to Africa or Australia? Africa. Would you rather go to Mexico or Canada? Canada. Do you think emo/scene hair is attractive? I love emo and scene hair, don't @ me, it's cute as fuck. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture? Lots, actually, at one of my old houses that I totally know was haunted. Do you think abortion should be illegal? NO. You would NOT end abortions. You would end SAFE abortions. Do any of your pets have strange habits? Explain? Venus, my ball python, is extremely odd with food to the point I sometimes worry about her, but she's always been this way and is healthy, so I guess it's nothing really worth fretting over. Anyway, when I place her rat in her terrarium, she gets excited first and will pretty much frantically examine her surroundings, like slithering around everywhere, and even when she has clearly found the rat (she'll even prod it with her snout), she usually won't immediately eat. She just like... sits there and has to continue to verify for ten minutes that it's food. I know it's thawed perfectly, btw. So anyway, THAT'S weird... As for Roman, dear god, that cat's just weird, lmao. Especially in the morning, he's very hyper and will bolt around the house sometimes, he "plays" with nothing all the time, he "meerkat"s at nothing that I can nothing, etc. etc. etc. He's a weirdo lol. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I said something really inapprops once when my friend Chelsea startled me. I won't be repeating it lmao. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Sara, I think. Who have you most feared in your life? My dad. He doesn't scare me anymore, but he did. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? Oh idk. What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you? "Martyr." And not the kind that dies for their beliefs. It hurt me so badly to know someone thought of me that way, and I'll probably never let it go. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No. Roman is one of the billion kittens born to the cats my sister's in-laws have, and Venus is from a ball python breeding business in Florida called The Gourmet Rodent (they sell f/t rodents too, obvs) Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not really. My grandmother though, whew, that was her calling for sure. Have you seen any of the old James Bond movies? Nope. List all of your features that you have ever gotten compliments on: My hair, my eyes, my tattoos, my hands, I think my nose, my dimples, my smile, and my boobs lmao. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon? And if not, would you ever want to go in one? I haven't. I think it'd be kinda cool, but they seem too easy to fall out of, and I'm afraid of heights. I'd probably go in one if given the opportunity. Do you have any stains on your shirt currently? No, but there are two small rips. It's just an old tank top. Do you listen to local bands? No. Not that I'm opposed, I just don't know of any I really enjoy. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Many, many daily. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? They're divorced; they used to fight a lot when they were together. Now they only talk if they have reason to. Have you ever watched a movie that's in a complete different language, so you had to read sub-titles? No. Do people with yellow teeth disgust you? Dude, fuck off, no. My teeth are kinda yellow, and I'm extremely self-conscious about it, so seriously fuck this question. You never know for sure why someone's teeth may seem yellowish. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually a drink or two. Do you wear rings? I always have two on, yeah. Are you hungry right now? No, I literally just ate a breakfast bowl. Have you ever tried smoking a cigarette? No; I haven't the slightest interest in doing so.

[x688plsloveme]

Companions React To Sole Giving Them A Present

ADA: When presented with an entire "spa-day" of sorts by Sole as a thank you, Ada was...shocked. She was presented with every kind of oil, paint, and polish that she could think of. Sole told their companion that it meant a lot to them that she decided to stick around after avenging her old boss. She was free to use the workbench whenever she wanted to, to apply whatever she wanted to. Ada didn't know what to say. She hummed in the way she does when she's indicating a smile. "Thank you Sole."

CAIT: What better present to give their rough and tough friend than a nearly new customized super sledge? Sole held it out to her while Cait could just look with her jaw on the floor in disbelief. Sike smiled smugly at rendering her speechless. "Go ahead and take it. It's getting heavy." Cait didn't need to be told twice. She snatched it from her friend's grasp and swung it around a couple of times to get a feel for it. "This is amazing! Where d'ya get it?" Sole shrugged. "Off of a gunner captain who didn't know how to use it right, and I knew just the person that could use it properly." They finished with a wink. Cait turned around with an almost manic look on her face and happily exclaimed, "I'm gonna go kill something. Don't wait up." Sole laughed. "Wouldn't dream of it."

CODSWORTH: Sole's faithful robot butler wasn't big on material items, but that wouldn't stop them from trying to get him the best present ever. And after many weeks of trial and error with a certain bedroom safe, they finally got it. But when they presented it to Codsy, he was confused, they knew he would be. He had plenty of bowler hats already anyway. "Sir/Madame... I truly appreciate everything you give me, but I don't think I need any more hats..." Sole tried and failed to surprise their smile. "Ah, but this isn't just any old bowler hat Codsy, this belonged to me/my husband. It's been cooped up in that safe with the rest of our nice clothes, but I finally cracked it. I wanted you to have it to remind you that no matter what, you'll always be apart of my family." If Codsworth could cry he would. He settled for his "crying voice" and loudly saying thank you while trying his best to hug Sole. They just let him go through it while patting his head and hugging him proper.

CURIE: As a scientist first and foremost, Curie was always interested in animals. But Sole knew that she also really really loved them. And they seemed to live her right back. She was like a modern day snow white or something, but at least that made it easy to decide what to give her for being such a good friend all this time. As soon as they held up the bunny, Curie grabbed it and started cooking over it in that famous baby voice of hers that gets even angry deathclaws to calm down. "Awwwww. Aren't you just precious! Mon dieu! You need a name! What about Cotton Tail? Or Koo Koo?" This went on for some time and Sole was just watching her, endeared to no ends by one of their best friends. It took a little while before Curie even remembered that they were there at all. "Oh I am so sorry!" She gave them a quick hug, careful not to squish the bunny in-between them. "Merci beaucoup mlle/m! I must go and tend to this little darling." She started to leave in a hurry to get everything prepared for her new little friend and waved bye to Sole. They knew she'd react that way, and they were glad she liked it so much.

DANSE: Being a synth was wearing down Danse. Sole and everyone else could see. He wouldn't eat or sleep, and he would hardly move for days. Everyone did what they could, but nothing seemed to help. But that little detail  couldn't stop Sole from trying. They made a meal with all of Danse's favourite foods, deathclaw steak topped with muttfruit puree and a side of mashed potatoes, courtesy of their mutual friend, The Lone Wanderer. All Danse did for a long time was just stare silently at his food until Sole insisted he started eating. He broke down crying. "It doesn't matter! It wouldn't be real! My enjoyment, my full stomach, even these tears are fake! Just a program put in me. Nothing about me is real." Sole was heart broken to see their friend in this state. They hugged their friend and walked him through some breathing exercises until he calmed down enough for them to speak. "Don't say that Danse. You hurt, feel, and cry just like any other human. All your feelings are 100 percent genuine and if anyone says anything otherwise, they'll have to go through me!" Sole puffed out their chest and tried to look as tough as possible, which forced a laugh out of Danse. Even after crying, he still looked tougher than them. But he gets what they were going at. He pulls them in for a hug, his tears finally having dried up. "Thanks Sole. You're the best friend I got. Thanks to you I'm alive and thanks to your kindness I think I want to stay that way."

DEACON: There's not much that comes to mind when it comes to personal details on Deacon. He doesn't reveal much thanks to both his job and insecurities. There is one thing that they're sure of however. That Deacon really loves pranks. Or he just does them so much and laughs with such glee to completely fool everybody. Either way, he's gonna love his gift. If his laughing and hugs have anything to do with it, a prank kit really was the right idea. Sole gives themself a mental fistbumb and start brainstorming ideas with Deacon right away. This might start a prank war between everyone, but at least they'll have fun before Piper kills them all for replacing her shampoo bottle with a dead rat for the third time. Deacon and Sole snicker at that idea.

DOGMEAT: No dog will say no to anything you give them, especially not post-apocalypse dogs. So it's not very hard to spoil a dog, and boy is Dogmeat spoiled. With no shortage of wild, aggressive animals, he always gets fresh cuts of meat instead of kibble bits and bones to chew on. When they can, Sole collects bone marrow from deathclaws, arguably the best part, and dries them into dog treats for their dog. He can come and go as he pleases, but he'll always come to sleep next to Sole on their bed at night. He is their favourite person after all.

GAGE: Gage always seemed jealous that Sole had a dog and he didn't. He always dreamed about fighting alongside an utmost loyal companion that he could spoil rotten when they're not out killing things. After finding a beautiful pitti mutt scavenging on the outskirts of Nuka-World, Sole bought the information on when Gage's birthday is from the Operators, thankful that it was soon because they don't think they could keep the dog a secret for long. On his birthday, Sole brought in the dog and despite both parties' nervousness, they took to each other quite nicely. Gage started crying when she finally let him pet her. "Never tell anyone about today or I'll kill ya. Also... Thanks boss." Sole just laughed. "No promises."

HANCOCK: The only suitable present for a guy as wild as Hancock would be something as equally as wild. And what's better than a completely unhinged party with all the best booze and chems and closest friends? In the end, about 50 different people from all over the wasteland, including The Lone Wanderer and some of their friends from the Capitol Wasteland came to the party. It was the best the world's ever seen and by the end of it, Hancock was clinging to Sole drunken and high, telling them that they're the greatest thing that's ever happened to him and he's never been luckier to have such an amazing best friend.

MACCREADY: For such a scruffy looking guy, MacCready had a lot of caps saved up. He bought tons of stuff for his son and any other kid he comes across and wasn't lacking in necessities but there was one thing MacCready couldn't readily get with caps. And that was comic books. No one sold them, and a lot burned up or otherwise disenegrated during the last 200 years or so. Thankfully, Sole's collection of mint condition, first editions were still in tip top order when they dug them out of the safe they had burried a lifetime ago. They knew MacCready would flip when he saw their collection and they were right. He almost didn't believe that Sole would let him read these whenever he wanted. (as long as he washedhis hands first)

PIPER: Sole had never been short on caps after opening Nuka World back up to non sociopathic killers. It was about time to spend some of their excess wealth on one of their best friends. All Piper wanted was to expose the truth and give a better life to her sister. Sole decided that the sisters deserved something good. When Nat's birthday came around, Sole took her and Piper to a trip to the Capitol Wasteland where all the fancy clothing stores are. They let both of them pick whatever they wanted and introduced them to Lone while they were at it. Nat was in awe. She's heard stories about the famous Lone Wanderer, but to actually meet them up close? Was a dream come true. On the long trek back home, while they were setting up camp for the night, Piper came up to Sole and hugged them. "Thanks Blue. My sister hasn't had this much of a good time in a long, long while." Sole smiled at her. "Anytime Pipes."

PRESTON: Anyone who has spent 5 minutes with Preston knows that if asked what he would want for a gift, he would just say, "More food and water for the Commonwealth's people." If you haven't left within the next few minutes because he's asked you one to many times to help a settlement out, then you would know that he is completely genuine about it. He's just that kind of person. Enters Sole, who has absolutely no clue what to give him, so far he has been the hardest one to gift something too. 'If it was a material thing, he'd just donate it, so that's out. What about...? No. Too much excitement for him. He'd have a heart attack. Oh! I got it! I'll take him to Nuka World!" After liberating the raider base and giving it back to the settlers, Sole enlisted some help and fixed almost everything enough so that it wouldn't collapse immediately. Rollercoasters didn't phase Sole much, but the real entertainment was watching Preston's reactions to every loop or swirl that a coaster made. They don't think they've ever heard a man scream that high in their life. At the end of the day, Preston was smiling and couldn't seem to stop. "This is probably the best day of my life, thank you so much General!" Sole knows that feeling of excitement of being at an amusement park for the first time. "No problem Preston. It was my pleasure."

STRONG: Sole knew strong genuinely liked poetry even though he doesn't know how to read all too well. So when they found a cache of poetry books, Sole was quick to invite Strong so that they could read some to him. Needless to say, he didn't exactly like the idea of sitting still for a long time, but relented when they threw in a glass of brahmin milk as an incentive. To everyone's surprise, Strong actually really enjoyed himself, often acting out some of the more violent - and in his opinion, the best - scenes by himself. Sometimes the others would join in on their poetry reading nights and it would be a great time all around.

VALENTINE: Sole has been wanting to get Nick something since visiting Far Harbour an meeting DiMA. Today, they finally got together all the parts and are ready to present it to him. Nick I taken aback when he sees the storage room filled with memory hard drives just like the on this brother has. "Kid...I don't know what to say." Sole pats their friend on the back. "Don't think anything of it. I know how worried you are about forgetting important things. Like your friends..." They trail off for a bit like they were afraid of the exact same thing, but continue in a much more chipper voice. "This will make sure you don't! You can pick and choose memories you want to back up so it won't be clogged with how to make a brahmin steak or something useless like that. It was tough to get together, but definitely worth it." Nick smiles at Sole. "You're the kindest person I've ever met, you know that kid? And I know Preston!"

X6-88: X6 likes cats. X6 doesn't like dogs. What about reptiles? Hopefully he'll at least take care of it. "Dammit Lone! Always giving me weird things... It's fine. When you think about it, this tamed deathclaw that I'm currently dragging by a leash is just a really big chameleon. . I had one when I was young. They're friendly, and cute, and are funny cause they hold on to little swords and the like when you hand it to them-" The deathclaw snorts and Sole can clearly feel it's breath on the back of their head. "Yep. Nevermind. This is not going to work. I gotta get rid of this thing." When they get to X6's house, a little ways past Sanctuary's borders - he prefers being alone - they're met with the most surprise they have ever seen on their friend's usually stoic face. Sure, all X6 is doing at the moment is raising his eyebrows but it's not usually that high. He just silently waits, obviously waiting for this decidedly crazy person to say something. Sole coughs nervously. "Um... Surprise?" X6 just keeps staring, compelling them to keep speaking. "It-It was a gift, all right? I couldn't say no, I actually think he's kind of cute, but u do not trust myself to not accidentally get killed, but I don't want to just murder it without it giving me a reason ya know? It's perfectly tame though! My friend keeps one as well and they're not dead yet!" X6 releases a sigh. "Sir/ma'am. Why did you think I would want to take care of a giant lizard that may or may not try to kill me in my sleep?" Sole started scratching the back of their head and looking anywhere but at him. More nervous ticks. "Honestly you're the only person I can think of that could handle a deathclaw as a pet. Please~~~ X? It's kinda cute once you get past the razor sharp teeth and claws." They looked up at him with hopeful eyes and X6 sighed once more. "... Fine. Only because it's you. Having a trained deathclaw would be useful to have around too I suppose." Sole's whole demeanor lit up. They leaped foward and hugged their friend. "Thanks X! I knew I could count on you!" The courser rolled his eyes slightly, but despite what he was showing, he was actually rather excited about having a pet deathclaw. It sounded...fun. He pat his friend on the head. "Anytime Sole."

This was actually requested by @mysticfaust ! Their patience knows no bounds considering I think they sent that prompt in a year ago. I hope you see this and enjoy it! It's the first thing I've written in a while so I may be a little rusty, but there are some parts I genuinely like.

[nisaadventures]

I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts... 

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations. 

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol. 

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us. 

Dear lord... what a joke. 

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long. 

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi. 

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras... 

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much. 

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them. 

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW.  One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol. 

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done. 

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” 

Thats love. 

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that. 

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook. 

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha. 

 Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video. 

Those twins lol. 

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis... 

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could. 

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon. 

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass. 

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen. 

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going. 

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength... 

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID... 

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way. 

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart. 

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion 

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship 

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

[stick-man-simp]

Some stuff about my stick oc Evans that no one asked for!!!

You wanna hear my headcannons about the actual thsc characters?? To bad!!! /j/lh (under the cut cus this is long lol)

1. What’s your oc’s most irrational fear? Is there a specific reason this fear came about?

They’re really afraid of something happening to their neck, like you know, that kind of stuff, ouch, no real reason for this fear, they just have it. They’re also really afraid of being abandoned and being alone oof

2. Is your oc picky about food? What kinds of foods do they like and dislike? What do they consider a comfort or “safe” food?

They hate tomatoes and milk with a passion, but otherwise most foods are okay with them, it’s more about the texture for them, not the taste, but if it has a weird texture, big oof moments. They really like any sort of fast food (except Wendy’s) and they love Dr Pepper so much lol

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

Their voice basically sounds like mine, but low key deep, and kinda raspy too. They can sing alright, not great but they like singing along to songs. They can whistle really well, the kind of really good whistling that pisses you off >:) lol. they cannot roll their r’s lol haha loser can’t roll their r’s :’). they used to have a stutter as a kid and it comes out when they’re really upset.

4. Is your oc good at keeping secrets?

They are great at keeping secrets, because they care a lot :), but also cus they have terrible memory and will probably forget it lol

5. What kind of clothes is your oc most comfortable wearing?

Their usual comfy everyday outfit is just a t-shirt and jeans, and hoodie when it’s cold. Same thing at home, but sweatpants or pj shorts

6. What kind of clothes is your oc least comfortable wearing?

Dresses >:( they’re ugly and uncomfortable, also flip flops, they hate them (they wear crocs lmao)

7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?

I actually made whole a playlist for them oop- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7qxg8Wm7qbMXKu2FRBKYI4 It kind of matches what they would listen to, upbeat with kind of sad lyrics

8. What’s it like inside your oc’s mind? (Literally, or metaphorically.)

No thoughts head empty, jk it’s a mess, they may seem really chill and confident on the outside, but on the inside they are always worried about saying the wrong thing and scaring people away, they just want friends :’(

9. What are your oc’s goals for the future? Relationship-wise, career-wise, or other?

Nothing much, they don’t like thinking about the future, they just go with the flow really, not good but whelp, it’s going ok so far. NO relationships tho, they are aroace, but boy do they wish they had some friends oof

10. Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?

Usually... no one, maybe their cat or maybe their mom, but in the time where Evans is friends with Ocelot (Coelpts oc), they would go to him about literally everything lol and then get worried about annoying him oof

11. Does your oc have any interests/hobbies that they hide from everyone? Why do they hide these interests?

Not really, they have a bunch of hobbies, but cringe culture is dead so they are open about them all to whoever asks, but no one ever does aaa, but they do stuff like gaming, drawing, knitting, embroidery, baking, cooking, model trains, lots of stuff

12. How does your oc handle talking to somebody they can’t stand? What if it’s a situation where they’re forced to work with this person?

They don’t lol, they don’t take shit from no one and will say to their face that they don’t like them lol, but if they have to work with them, they will cooperate, but their gonna be a bastard about it

13. What’s your oc’s dream home like?

A cozy cottage in the woods, with lots of hiking trails all around, a chicken coop, and close to their friend’s house :’)

14. If your oc spent one day free from any consequences or recognition for their actions, how would they act?

They wouldn’t do much lol, probably just steal a bunch of Dr Pepper and snacks from the store

15. What’s your oc’s morning routine like?

They wake up at like 6 am and scroll on their phone in bed for a bit, and then get up at 7:45 to get ready lol, and leave at 8 to got to work, I mean it works but wtf Evans

16. What’s your oc’s nighttime routine like?

They usually just sit on the couch with their cat and some snack and watch TV or play games for a while before going to bed and scrolling on their phone for like an hour before finally passing out

17. If your oc had a social media page, what would it be like? What would they post about? How much personal information would they feel comfortable posting on it? How often would they update it?

They have a Tumblr, they don't make many posts, just reblog stuff, and they would totally share their fucking home address  if someone asked nicely, they are unhinged

18. How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?

They look at themself and think ‘woah that’s one sexy motherfucker’, they are a bastard man with way too much confidence, I don’t have any other os’s that would interact with them, but Ocelot totally thinks of them as just a big dumb puppy (he would never say that out loud tho lol)

19. How would an enemy describe this oc?

An arrogant son of a bitch (and they’d be right >:D)

20. What’s a superpower or magical ability that this oc would hate having?

Being able to read peoples minds, they would hate this so much, because it would make them feel evil and uncomfy, and they don’t wanna know what people are thinking about them, they think it’ll be bad oof

21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?

They are nonbinary, AFAB, they used to wear a binder but they got top surgery at 20 years old, now they don’t wear a shirt at the beach and they’re making that everyone else's problem!! >:D

22. What’s your oc’s dream job? Is this similar to what they’re doing now? Do they believe they could ever achieve this dream?

They work for the CCC right now, and they had their dream job as an agent, but the promotion they got kind of ruined the dream, and their job is boring to them now

23. Who would this oc consider their family? What is their relationship with these people?

They have their mom, who is really great, their dad died when they were young, they don’t have any siblings, and they aren’t close with any other family. But, any friends they have they immediately get really attached to and think of as family

24. What is one thing that, no matter who it’s coming from, would anger your oc?

Getting called a coward (haha Marty McFly kinnie lmao), they are not a coward >:( (this gets them in a lot of trouble sometimes oof)

25. How does your oc handle sadness?

Not well oof, they mostly just cry a bunch and eat a lot, anything to get their mind off it

26. How does your oc handle anger?

Basically the same as with sadness but with furrowed eyebrows and ranting to their cat

27. How does your oc handle fear?

They are pretty brave so not much scares them, and they have to be brave for others, but when it comes to stuff that really scares them or just plain anxiety, they usually try to calm down as best they can, or they just run, they can run fast too

28. What’s your favorite thing about this oc?

Himbo :)

29. What’s your least favorite thing about this oc?

They have a primal urge to insult people, they don’t mean to really upset people, it’s all in good fun, but they can still be pretty mean sometimes, especially when they do it with strangers oof

30. Tell a random fact about this oc!

They’ve always wanted to have a beard or a mustache, but even with T they can’t grow much facial hair :(

[lailaliquorice]

throw kindness around like confetti

did I just write over 4k words on periods? yes, yes I did

so this was fun, inspired by this post from @soft-boi-six. periods are hell on earth as I’m sure anyone with a uterus will agree and I love jane being the mother hen/period fairy just as much as I love everyone deciding it’s her turn for a little tlc. never written a 5+1 fic before but I actually quite enjoyed it bc I could get each of the little bits done pretty quickly. tagging @tenpin-boleyn bc it was her suggestion that this should be written that ended in this c:

Living in a house with six women meant that periods were a common thing being dealt with. And as not only the assigned mum friend of the group but also the one who seemed to suffer the least every month, Jane had very willingly taken on the additional position of ‘the period fairy’. She already kept a close eye on her friends to make sure they looked after themselves so it was easy to add another thing to her watch list, and was always on hand with anything they needed when the time came.

I.                     

Headaches and migraines were something that Catherine dealt with often. It hadn’t been hard to work out that they were linked to her emotions, since anxiety attacks were often plagued by stabbing pains at each temple and stressful days would usually trigger tension headaches that made it near impossible to do anything. But by far the worst were the skull-splitting migraines that accompanied her periods, leaving her bedbound for at least a day each month as the slightest movement was agony.

They always arrived like clockwork around an hour after she woke up on the first day, giving her enough time to get herself prepared and bunk down in her bed before the worst of the pain arrived. Occasionally she had less warning though, and when she was woken up one morning by a pulsating agony on one side of her head she knew it was going to be bad.

For a few minutes she stayed absolutely still and tried to breathe through the pain, terrified that if she sat up it would make everything so much worse. But she knew she had to get up before she could cocoon herself in her duvet for the rest of the day. With immense effort and a lot of stifled groans she forced herself to sit up, pausing for a moment on the edge of her bed to regulate her breathing again before she dared to stand up.

After the necessary bathroom trip she embarked on the mammoth task of getting downstairs, eyes only open a crack to look where she was going as the bright lights of the kitchen assaulted her vision. Every noise felt like thunder as she fumbled around in the medicine cabinet for the painkillers she needed, planning on just grabbing them and a glass of water before getting herself back into bed.

“Catherine?”

She let out a cry of pain as the voice sent agony shooting through her skull, clamping both hands over her ears and hunching forwards.

There was quiet for a moment before a gentle hand touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry love, it’s just me,” Jane whispered, and slowly Catherine was able to drop her hands when the pain subsided a little. “Caught you off guard, has it?”

“Mhm,” Catherine hummed. She couldn’t look at Jane, her chin on her chest as she kept her eyes shut against the pain.

“Here, let me help,” said Jane, nudging Catherine into taking a couple of steps backwards before she took over rummaging through the cupboard. Quickly she found the migraine tablets that Catherine got from the doctor, frowning when she looked inside and saw the box almost empty. “Did you set that reminder on your phone I asked you to last month?” she asked quietly, tutting a little when Catherine shook her head. She’d suggested a tracking app so that Catherine knew when she needed to renew her prescription and take her tablets in advance, aware that Catherine wasn’t always the best at prioritising her own health.

Catherine fidgeted nervously as Jane took her hand and pressed two tablets into her palm, swallowing them with a tiny sip of water. “Sorry,” she murmured.

Jane was surprised to see a tear tracking down her cheek when Catherine tilted her head up. “Oh love, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” she sighed with a smile, rubbing a soothing hand over Catherine’s upper arm. “Let’s get you back into bed, hmm?”

Giving Jane the tiniest nod in agreement, Catherine let Jane take her by the arm and help her slowly up the stairs. As Catherine eased herself back onto her pillow Jane made sure the curtains were fully closed and the light was off, before getting a cool flannel and laying it over her forehead in the hope that it would help with the pain.

“Call me if you need anything, alright?” she whispered as she tucked the duvet over Catherine’s huddled form.

Catherine hummed quietly, and with a quick kiss on her forehead Jane left her to try and get some sleep.

 II.                   

Anne always found it fitting that her cycles were as unpredictable as she was. It did make life more difficult though; she could never predict when she’d be on for a show, and would usually end up calling in sick very last minute when the sudden onset of cramps left her unable to stand let alone dance. Her attempt at using tracking apps resulted in her phone being as confused as she was to when she’d be on next, so she abandoned all hope of getting an advanced warning and just accepted what she got.

Somehow though, Jane had managed to work out her own way of knowing. Anne wasn’t as much of a morning person as she and Aragon were but she was by no means a late sleeper, usually announcing her presence in the kitchen by 9:30 every morning except on her days off. Whenever Anne hadn’t appeared by half an hour later Jane knew she was either ill or on her period, and if she’d been fine the evening before it was fairly safe to assume it was the latter.

When the clock struck 10:15 Jane headed upstairs with a box of supplies she’d managed to pull together, consisting of pads and painkillers as well as a bar of chocolate. Anne was still curled up under her duvet when Jane peered around the door so she just left it on the end of her bed, figuring that Anne would come and find her if she needed anything else when she woke up.

That turned out to be less than a minute later, when Jane’s progress down the stairs was halted by a screech of “HOW DOES SHE KNOW!!”

Jane didn’t try to restrain her laughter as she turned round and headed back up the stairs, opening the door to see a very dishevelled Anne sat looking at her with an exasperated grin. “Seriously, how do you know? Even I never know!” she said, pretend outrage in her voice.

“It’s the mum senses, love,” Jane said with a wink, using Anna’s term for her innate ability to know when one of them was either in pain or doing something idiotic.

Anne groaned dramatically, one hand on her stomach as she stood up a little hunched over. “Honestly you’re probably right. Can I have a hand?”

“Of course.”

Hurrying across the room, Jane put an arm around Anne’s waist and let her sag into her side. She knew Anne didn’t like staying cooped up in her room alone when she wasn’t feeling her best so she didn’t bother suggesting she should stay in bed, instead just helping her downstairs to the kitchen. While Anne was in the bathroom Jane warmed up a hot water bottle for her, giving a sympathetic wince when Anne shuffled back through the kitchen into the living room.

Anne was curled up on a sofa with a blanket when Jane walked into the otherwise empty room, glancing up when she heard the door open and reaching out her arms in a grabbing motion towards her. Jane chuckled as the hot water bottle was snatched out of her hands, though her amusement turned into empathy when Anne pouted up at her as she pressed the hot water bottle against her stomach.

“You poor thing,” Jane said, sitting down beside her. Immediately Anne curled up into Jane’s side and rested her hear on her chest, letting out a quiet sound of contentedness when Jane started to run her fingers through her hair. It wasn’t often that Anne was clingy with her to quite that extent, that was more Kat’s style, but whenever she was unwell she always craved physical contact more than usual.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Jane glanced down at her and asked “Would you like me to call in sick for you today?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you like me to stay here with you for a while?”

“…Yeah.”

Jane smiled at Anne’s nervous answer, tightening the arm around her shoulders to hold her close for as long as she needed to.

 III.                 

Anna was very good at just dealing with things. If she was under the weather she’d just dose up on cold medicine and power through, if she was hungover she’d just put her sunglasses on and get on with it, if she was injured she’d ignore it and insist she was fine until Jane managed to restrain her long enough to assess it. That was what she did; get up, get shit done, crash afterwards.

That didn’t mean she didn’t suffer in the process though. And that was especially accurate when it came to her periods, as in her opinion she could only describe them as ‘the back pain from Hell’. What was even worse was that the pain always outlasted her period itself, which as far as she was concerned was just unfair.

When she stood up to get into her costume before a show and felt the first twinge of pain in her lower abdomen she paused in her tracks, groaning quietly as she let her eyes fall shut for a moment. She’d be fine for the show if she took painkillers fast but she already knew the rest of the day and the next few as well would not be enjoyable at all.

“Anna? What’s the matter?”

Anna looked over at Jane’s concerned voice, wondering at first what she was doing in the other dressing room before remembering she was with them today since her mirror lights weren’t working. “My uterus is playing the jaws theme song,” she joked, straightening up and taking her costume off the hanger.

“Oh,” Jane said with a nod, watching Anna for a moment before she asked “What’s the jaws theme song?”

There was a moment’s pause, before Anna, Anne, and Aragon were all howling with laughter. “Sorry babes, oh shit,” Anna choked out between laughs, one hand on her stomach as the pain was aggravated by her laughter. “Someone gimme a hand, we gotta keep showing her these references,” she said, grinning at the very confused Jane.

Anne grabbed her phone from the desk and quickly pulled up a clip from the film to show her, who watched the screen with wide eyes as she tried to take in what she was being shown. “So it’s a warning for something coming,” Jane clarified, looking pleased with herself when everyone else nodded. “Right, ok. What’s coming?”

Anna rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she deadpanned “My period.”

“Oh! Why didn’t you just say! What do you need?” Jane was instantly asking, yanking her bag from under the desk and opening a side pocket to reveal enough tampons to kit out a menstruating army.

“Did you buy a year’s supply or something?” Anna asked jokingly, shaking her head when Jane held out a fistful towards her. “No no, I’m good thanks. Just some painkillers if you’ve got any.”

Sure enough, Jane unzipped another compartment of her bag to pull out an enormous box of double-strength ibuprofen tablets. “Here you go love, and I’m sure we can find you a hot water bottle for when we get home. At least it’s only a one show day today,” she said, smiling sympathetically as she passed Anna a sheet of tablets.

As she’d expected she managed to get through the show without any trouble at all, ignoring the building ache in her back that worsened right before the megasix. The minute they were off stage though she was trudging up the stairs towards the dressing rooms, throwing open her door and crashing heavily into her chair with her head rested on the desk.

A hand on her shoulder alerted her to Jane’s presence behind her. “How are you feeling love?” she asked quietly.

Anna just groaned in response, lacking the motivation or the care to come up with something more coherent.

Jane squeezed her shoulder, tugging her lightly until she sat up to see Jane stood there holding the clothes she’d worn to the theatre. “Come on, just got to get changed then we can go home and put a film on or something.”

Anna smiled faintly. Home and family was a nice prospect.

 IV.                 

It wasn’t uncommon for Kat to end up in Jane’s bed in the middle of the night. Their rooms were next to each other so it wasn’t far for her to go in the darkness, and it meant that Jane was usually woken by her nightmares anyway so Kat didn’t feel quite so bad about bothering her. It wasn’t just nightmares and flashbacks that drove Kat to seek the comfort of her mother figure though, sometimes if she was feeling particularly miserable she would just want someone warm to huddle up against to make her feel better.

Jane was only dozing lightly when the sound of her door shifting over the carpet broke through the sleepy haze in her mind, so she rolled over and put her arm out as the mattress dipped and someone curled into her side. She cracked open an eye to check it really was Kat – occasionally when Anne’s night terrors were bad enough to drive her down the attic stairs she’d end up in Jane’s bed and even Cathy had turned up once – before she murmured “What is it sweetheart?”

Kat just groaned at first, tightening the arm around Jane’s stomach. That was enough to tell Jane that it wasn’t a nightmare that had brought Kat in, since if that had been the case the simple question would have been enough to coax out a tearful explanation. “Don’t like it,” she whimpered, her voice muffled by the material of Jane’s nightdress.

“Please tell me what’s wrong, darling,” Jane pressed softly, a twinge of worry in her chest.

After another few moments of silence, Kat mumbled an almost inaudible “Period.”

Jane nodded in understanding. “You just don’t feel good, do you?” she said as she stroked a hand over Kat’s hair. Her eyes were still closed though she didn’t need to see Kat to sense the discomfort in her tense body.

The pitiful hum of agreement drew a sympathetic noise from Jane, rubbing comforting circles into Kat’s tight shoulders in an attempt to get her to relax a little. “It’s alright love, I’ve got you,” she whispered, smiling a little as some of the tension in Kat’s arms lessened. “Have you taken any painkillers?”

At the tiny shake of Kat’s head, Jane pushed herself into a sitting position while ignoring the unwilling noise from Kat as she was dislodged from around Jane’s waist. “Sorry darling, but you need to take something,” Jane pointed out, chuckling lightly when Kat was still reluctant to let her go. “I promise I’ll be back in a second and we can go to sleep then. Ok?”

“…ok.”

Jane smiled, placing her hand on Kat’s head for a second before she wiggled out of her arms to get out of bed. Her footsteps were quiet as she padded down the stairs in her socked feet, very aware that Anna was probably asleep on the floor below, and thanks to her recent reorganisation of the medicine cabinet it was only a couple of minutes before she found what she needed and was heading back up the stairs with painkillers and a glass of water.

“Here you go love,” she said as she tapped Kat’s shoulder to get her attention, keeping one hand on the glass as Kat took the tablets just in case she dropped it.

As soon as she’d finished the water, Kat murmured “Sleepy time now. You promised.”

Chuckling quietly, Jane agreed “That I did,” as she climbed back into bed and opened her arms for Kat to curl back into her side. “Try and get some rest, hopefully you’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah,” Kat breathed out in quiet agreement, her body much less stuff as she wrapped an arm around Jane's waist and rested her head on her collar.

It was a few minutes of comfortable quiet before the last ounce of tension seeped from Kat’s limbs as she fell asleep. Jane smiled as she let herself relax too, happy to sleep herself now that she knew her baby was safe and looked after in her arms.

 V.                   

Cathy hated being ill. More than the physicality of it she hated not being able to do things, since any day not spent being productive was a day wasted as far as she was concerned. Aragon and Jane had given her many strict talking-to’s about that point of view, telling her sternly that she didn’t need to be creating something every hour or every day, and as much as she tried to take their words in she still hated whenever she was struck down so badly she had to give up on her work and take a day’s rest.

That meant that more often than not she hated the first day of her period. It didn’t happen every time, but when it did she would wake up feeling absolutely fine until she stood up. That was when her stomach would flip and she’d find herself racing to the bathroom as she was seized by nausea.

She didn’t hear the footsteps rushing down the hallway as she coughed into the toilet bowl. She felt the hands pulling her hair back and knew they were Jane’s even though she couldn’t risk looking up at that moment, just focusing on the gentle touch on her shoulder as something to ground her. After what felt like eons of heaving and shaking, Cathy rested her forehead on her arms as she let out a rough sigh.

“Easy love, you’re alright.”

Jane’s voice sounded miles away, but Cathy nodded weakly as she tried to regulate her breathing. She could feel herself shaking like a leaf and hated it. “I’m fine,” she croaked, trying to sit up unassisted but pitching over sideways into Jane’s arms as her strength failed her for a second.

A quiet chuckle above her made her glance up into Jane’s amused yet worried face. “Are you?” she quipped lightly, adjusting her arms so that Cathy was propped up more comfortably. “Is this a stomach bug or is it that time of the month?”

“The latter,” Cathy answered with a slight groan as her stomach rolled again. She glanced at the toilet, her body tensing, but thankfully the feeling passed within a couple of moments and she just flopped back into Jane’s chest.

“Let’s get you back into bed, hmm?” Jane suggested.

Cathy nodded as she let Jane help her to stand, supporting her as she swayed for a moment before finding her feet. After reassuring Jane she would be fine for a moment she shut the door to sort herself in the bathroom, cleaning her teeth too since her mouth felt disgusting, before letting Jane take over again.

“Can I get you anything love?” Jane asked as Cathy sat up in bed and pulled the covers around her lap. “Water, painkillers, some soup or something?”

She was reluctant to try eating anything but knew Jane would pester her about giving her body what it needed until she gave in. “Some water and chicken soup would be nice, thanks,” Cathy said with a smile, then pointed towards her desk as she added “And can you pass me my laptop please?”

Jane frowned, sitting down on the edge of the bed with a hand on Cathy’s knee. “You need to rest, love. The work can wait for another day,” she said gently, giving Cathy a concerned look.

“I know, but I’ve been working on a new project lately that needs researching. I just wanted to make a few notes,” she protested, sighing at Jane’s pointed glance. Backtracking a little, she changed her tone and asked “Alright, what if you keep an eye on me and I promise I stop if I’m tired?”

“I think that’s the best I’m going to get from you,” Jane agreed with a laugh, patting Cathy’s knee as she smiled. “Let me go and get those bits for you then I’ll bring my embroidery in. I’m warning you though, first sign that anything’s wrong and you’re going to bed!”

Cathy laughed tiredly as Jane walked out the door, resting her head against the pillow propped between her and the headboard as she waited for Jane to come back. As much as she hated not being productive, she could admit that it was nice to have someone watching over her every now and then.

 ( +1 ) VI.                 

For the most part, Jane was lucky enough to not suffer too badly with her periods. She would joke with the others that it was fate taking it easy on her after the way she’d died, but she was secretly incredibly grateful since any pain in her stomach brought on flashbacks from those terrible last days. It meant that she could be there for her friends too, something that put her maternal tendencies to good use.

But every now and then there was a month where she felt like death all over again.

She could already recognise how unwell she felt by the time she even opened her eyes. Her stomach hurt, she felt lightheaded without even needing to sit up, and she could already feel the uneasiness fluttering in her chest. But she still gritted her teeth and sat up, trudging to the bathroom before making her way downstairs. It was a two show day that day and she’d already overslept, she had to get moving.

“Morning Jane!” yelled Anne as Jane walked into the kitchen, already running round in her usual chaotic manner. “I’m in charge of breakfast! I’ve got eggs and toast and holy crap are you alright?”

Jane stopped and blinked as Anne actually stopped to look at her with her eyebrows halfway to her hairline. “What? Oh I’m fine love, please don’t worry about me.”

Anne glanced over at Cathy as she walked over, both of them wearing unconvinced expressions. “Are you sure? You look a little off-colour,” Cathy said gently.

“Little off-colour my ass,” called Anna bluntly from where she was sat at the kitchen table with Aragon, the three of them all turning to look at her. “Babes, no offence but you look paler than I used to be. Even for you that’s a bit much.”

Jane managed to laugh weakly at that, genuinely appreciative of Anna’s humour. She still wasn’t ready to back down. “Honestly, I promise I’m fine. I’m just… just…”

She didn’t finish her sentence since her body chose that moment to come over all faint, her vision blurring for a second before she jolted back into awareness. Cathy and Anne had reacted quickly enough to grab her arms but there was another body pressed close behind her keeping her upright. “You can tell us what’s wrong,” said Kat’s voice softly in her ear, “let us take care of you for a change.”

Jane nodded then, sighing before she managed to stand alone with the three of them still standing by to catch her again. “Just having a bad period I suppose. Feeling a little lightheaded,” she said, smiling tiredly at her sisters as she looked between them all.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Aragon asked as she and Anna walked over.

Rolling her eyes in the face of Aragon’s knowing look, Jane muttered “You can’t mother me Catherine of Aragon that’s my job.”

“Not today it’s not!” Anne said brightly, before she cleared her throat and clapped her hands. “Right you lot, Operation Mum is a-go! All hands on deck!”

Jane had no idea what Operation Mum was, but she was happy to let herself be walked into the living room by Kat while the others continued to busy around the kitchen. Anna appeared first with some painkillers and a blanket which she draped over Jane and Kat on one of the sofas, followed by Cathy with a bowl of chicken soup and Anne with a hot water bottle. Lastly came Aragon, who had enlisted Anne’s help to carry in six mugs of hot chocolate.

When Anna started flicking through films on the TV, Jane paused after a mouthful of soup to protest “But we’ve all got two shows today!”

“Shh,” Anne insisted, curling up under the blanket on Jane’s other side. “We’ve got time. Now just let yourself be mothered for once in your life.”

When Jane looked down at her snuggled into Jane’s side just as she’d been when it was Anne being taken care of, she couldn’t find it in herself to fight them anymore. After she was finished with her breakfast she hugged the hot water bottle to her stomach as she relaxed between Anne and Kat, glancing over at Cathy and Anna on the other sofa and Aragon in her armchair. Her wonderful little family.

She would always be the mother of the group, and that was just how she liked it. But sometimes she could let her wayward children take care of her when she needed them the most.

[timelordthirteen]

In All Things 7/?

Mr. Gold/BelleFrench, Explicit (eventually)

Summary: A Rumbelle arranged marriage AU.

Chapter Summary: Belle goes for a walk and contemplates her situation, while Gold is called away on kingdom business, and finds out what the rumor mill is saying about his new fie.

Notes: And now we're finally getting to the bits I've been desperate to write. I promise the story will start moving forward a little faster after this. But only a little. ;) For the 31 Days prompt: family.

[AO3]

Previous: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Belle walked the grounds of Thornhill until her feet were sore and threatening to blister.

She spent this morning making a few small changes to her rooms. The furniture in her library had been rearranged, with the writing desk moving to the north wall where the light was better in the early hours. She preferred to write her letters in the morning, and wanted the sofa closer to the south windows where the afternoon light would be perfect for reading. The trunks and cases that had been delivered with Astrid were all unpacked, though many of her books were not in proper order yet. They sat in stacks organized by subject on the floor of the library for now, but she was certain she would have them sorted and on the shelves soon.

After that she’d been at a loss as what to do with herself. The weather was a bit warmer, the sun uninhibited by any cloud cover. It had been three days since Astrid arrived, and she seemed to be settling in quite well, while Belle still felt like she was watching everyone else gone on about their lives while she stood on the outside. She had hoped that having her friend with her would make her feel more at home, yet it seemed to have had the opposite effect. Astrid attended her first thing in the morning, and then again in the evening when she took her bath and prepared for bed, but during the day it wasn’t the same as it had been in Avonlea.

She wandered down the lane through the gates that marked the entrance to Thornhill’s grounds, and followed it to the curve of the hilltop where it started to wind down into the little valley. From there she could see the surrounding land, dotted with small farms, and divided in half by a curving river. She hadn’t been able to see the landscape on their way here, and she smiled at the rather picturesque view before heading back to the estate and the gardens that were becoming more well known to her.

Her dinner with Gold and Bae had been fine overall, but the light ease that had come so easily that first day was lost to them now. He had tried to make conversation, but she couldn’t get the harsh sound of his voice out of her head, replaying the way he yelled at Jefferson and wondering what he might say if he ever became cross with her. Instead they focused on Bae which made everything a little lighter and more comfortable. She’d excused herself as soon as the meal was over, and took supper in her room the following night with Astrid.

Gold had had left for King George’s palace on a matter of urgent business early this morning, and expected to be gone for a few days. It disappointed her that she felt relief at his departure, but when he;d told her, mere minutes before he climbed into the carriage, it was the only thing she felt.

Belle sighed and sat down on the bench by the fountain and rested her head in her hands for a moment. The cool air was a blessing, but soon there would be snow and chilling winds, and they would be forced inside. The thought was suddenly terrifying, and she blew out a slow breath as her stomach turned. Perhaps when Gold returned, she could find a way to speak with him and clear the air. She couldn’t imagine a whole winter cooped up in a house, even one as large as Thornhill, when she was so uncertain about everything.

But talking to Gold was an even more terrifying prospect.

Do the brave thing, and bravery will follow.

Her mother’s words echoed in her head once more, just as they had on her wedding day a week ago. She looked down at her lap and the ring on her finger. It felt foreign and strange, and she pulled at it until it came off, running her fingertips around the smooth circle.

Gold didn’t seem to want a wife in the way that most men did, and she was grateful for that small favor, but she also wondered if perhaps that was working against them. It was too easy for them to be apart and avoid each other, to skirt any real interaction with meaningless conversation about the weather or his son. Yet there was a part of her that longed for something deeper, for real companionship and someone that could share her life.

Since her mother had passed, there was a lack of emotional and physical intimacy in her life. Her father had never been the most affectionate person, and while she and Astrid exchanged the occasional hug, there would always be a barrier between them due to their different stations and status. For a long time, since she first discovered her condition, she didn’t believe she could have the kind of relationship that she read about in her favorite books, the kind with passion and love that transcended and transformed everything around it.

Gold had seemed so kind and gentle, and she’d hoped as she’d never dared to that her marriage could be a good thing beyond financial reasons. Baeden was a sweet boy as well, and a foolish part of her had hoped that the far off dream she’d had of having a family of her own, of having that closeness with another person wasn’t as improbable as it once seemed. Family was one of those foundational things in life that she had always had, her parents, her friends, an aunt on her mother’s side, and a smattering of cousins until she was about ten. After that they dwindled, some marrying and moving away, others succumbing to the inevitability of sickness and age.

All she had now was her father.

If Gold could open up to her, if they could talk and understand each other as it seemed they might just a short time ago, then she thought maybe they could have something together. A real friendship if nothing else, though there had been a moment or two where the notion of something more wasn’t entirely repulsive to her. He was older, but not so much so that she looked more like his daughter than his wife, and he wasn’t unattractive, physically. Indeed, she rather like his face, especially when he smiled, and he looked very fine in his coats and breeches.

She sighed again, feeling like she could probably use a good cry, but refusing to let herself be so overwhelmed, and made herself stand up. Her feet would need a good soak tonight, and she’d probably end up with a blister on her heel, but being alone and thinking through the jumble of thoughts in her head had helped some. She resolved that when Gold returned, they would talk, but there was still the fear that however that came out would set the tone for the rest of their relationship, and indeed the rest of her life.

Gold hated being at the palace.

He hated the ostentatious decor, the tedium of formality and ceremony, and most of all he hated that it took him away from home. But such business couldn’t be helped, not when he was essentially the reason George had secured the throne from his brother with the support of the majority of the nobility. He understood his role in keeping the peace and keeping the kingdom running smoothly, but he despised it all the same.

“Don’t look so happy to be here, Gold.”

Gold looked up from his meal and frowned. “I’m sorry if summoning me to the palace urgently when I’ve barely been at home at all in the last week, all because Regina is making a power play against her mother.”

George laughed and dabbed a napkin at his chin before sitting back in his chair. “You think a cat fight among the Mills women is not cause for concern?”

Gold set his fork down and took a sip of wine. “Certainly it is, especially since Regina seems to want to do anything she can to separate herself from Cora, but ultimately this can only be a good thing. You know as well as I do that Cora always had designs on the throne.”

“And you don’t think Regina does?”

He shrugged. “I think Regina wants to be out from under her mother’s thumb. And I suspect that if we were to help that along, it would go a long way towards securing her allegiance for at least the near future.”

“Cora should have married her off and settled down ages ago,” groused the King. Then he snatched up his goblet and drained the wine down his throat with an obnoxious slurping sound.

Gold rolled his eyes and stuck the last bite of ham in his mouth. “Regina doesn’t strike me as the type to let anyone marry her off without her full participation and agreement.”

George chuckled and pushed back from the table. “Unlike your new wife, eh?”

At the mention of Belle, Gold stiffened. Things were odd between them, and he didn’t like leaving Thornhill for so long when he didn’t know where they stood with each other. He wanted to be able to trust her, and let her manage things while he was away, but she seemed distant and uncomfortable. He was glad that she was getting along with Jefferson and Bae, but he wanted there to be some foundation to their relationship as well, as friends perhaps or at the very least partners in a mutual endeavor to care for Bae and his future. The latter wasn’t entirely out of the question, but the former felt like crossing a chasm without a bridge.

He was certain that was entirely down to his having forced her into a marriage.

“My wife,” Gold started, turning his wine goblet around and around by the stem, “was in a precarious situation and I offered her a way out. I didn’t force anyone’s hand into anything.”

“Well, from what I hear, you won’t have to.”

Gold paused and looked up at King George, his jaw tensing. “Excuse me?”

George stood up and motioned for Gold to follow him, which made Gold bristle in annoyance. He also hated being ordered around and being made to feel inferior, which of course the King did at every turn.

“Come now, Gold, you know the situation Maurice has been in,” George said, exiting the dining room and walking the corridor back to his study. “He’s terrible with money, and he’s been mismanaging his lands since Lady Collette died. His only option was marrying off his daughter to the highest bidder.”

Gold’s hand clenched into a fist, both from anger at the way George was speaking of Belle, and at the ache building in his leg. He refused to use a cane in front of the King, and after being in a carriage for several hours, the last thing he wanted was to walk the excessively long halls of the palace.

“I was hardly that,” Gold snapped.

George waved a hand as they entered the study. “No, Gaston was, but you were the obvious runner up after that fell through.”

Gold started to frown as he took a seat across from George. He didn’t know the full story behind what had happened with Belle and Sir Gaston, but he gathered that the end of their engagement was not something Belle mourned in any way.

“What are you saying, your Majesty?”

George reclined, his robes spilling over the ornate, gilded arms of the chair. “It’s obvious isn’t it? Everyone was talking about it at court, if you bothered to show up for more than council meetings you’d know the whole sordid story.”

The King’s mouth curved into a toothy sneer, and Gold dug his short nails into his palm as he fought to keep his composure. “Sordid?”

“She was desperate,” George laughed. “Maurice was about to lose everything, Gaston had shown an interest, and she used it to her advantage.”

Gold couldn’t begin to imagine Belle manipulating anyone, much less a knight of the realm, and he wondered how these stories had circulated so widely. Whatever had happened, Gaston must have been angry enough to try to ruin her through rumors and supposition.

“I somehow doubt that,” he said.

“It’s true from what I hear. She tried to get her hands on Sir Gaston’s fortune before they were even married.” George leaned forward, smirking as he spoke as though he was telling a great secret. “She threw herself at him during the spring ball right here in this palace. But of course Gaston found out that he wasn’t the only one, and that she was willing to go to rather extreme lengths to secure a husband.”

Gold swallowed hard. He could read between the lines of court gossip to know what the King was saying, and he couldn’t scarcely believe it. Belle throwing herself at any man seemed absurd. She was too proper for that, too gentle and sweet, though he couldn’t fault her for not wanting anything to do with him. The implication that she had sought other men and tried to manipulate them all in the same of money was patently insane.

“One should not cast such aspersions,” he said, fixing George with a hard stare. His voice was low and even, conveying the seriousness of every word with its tone. “Particularly, when one has also gone to rather extreme lengths to secure their position.”

George sat back at that, and eyed Gold as the unspoken threat hung between them. Gold knew the darkest secrets of the royal house, and had even helped make some of them come into being. Deals and alliances forged in dark corners had been his specialty at one time, and even though he liked to think he’d moved on from such seedy, distasteful things, he wasn’t above using the knowledge when required. If the true parentage of King George’s twin sons ever came out, the kingdom would unravel, and the King knew that it was only by the grace of Gold’s silence that he wielded the power he did.

“I would just be careful if I were you, Gold,” the King said finally. “You don’t really know Lady Belle or Lord Maurice.”

Gold stood up abruptly, pushing his chair back and scraping it over the stone floor. “I know that she’s better that these rumors are making her out to be, and that I’m tired and retiring for the evening.”

Then he gave George a sharp, half bow and a harsh glare. “Your Majesty.”

[labyrinth-runner]

Here We Are Now

TGT Chapter 5

Read the rest here

Not My Gif

A week had passed since they had been reunited. Estelle had spent the week dodging her father's questions about her potential suitors. Now, she was at Annalise's house to discuss their respective weeks.

"You snuck out of the house?" Annalise asked with a laugh. "Oh, Elle, that's rich!"

Estelle blushed slightly. "Well, I couldn't just leave him standing out there. That would be rude."

"Oh, of course. We wouldn't want to show poor manners to a man who shows up at your house well past the appropriate times to call on someone," Annalise smirked as she took a sip of tea. "Where did you go at that hour? I suppose all the respectable places would be closed by then."

"We went to Grub Street," Estelle murmured, pouring herself a cup of tea. The roses in Anna's garden were suddenly more interesting than the conversation at hand.

"Oh, Elle, you didn't!" Annalise gasped. "That's where all the people of ill renown and poor students live! That's hardly a place for you. How did Christian even know about it?"

"A friend from school lives there. You might actually like him," Estelle replied. "We actually had a lot of fun. I met some very intriguing people and we had deeper discussions than what normally is deemed appropriate in society."

"That actually does sound like a good time," Annalise smiled. "Perhaps the next time you sneak out, you'll have to stop by and fetch me... On second thought, I prefer my beauty rest. However, if this man that you think I'd enjoy ever happens to be around, you'll have to introduce me."

Estelle smiled, "Alright, Anna. If we're ever in the same place as Mr. Cavanaugh, I'll make sure to introduce you."

"But, only if I look alluring. If I'm having a poor complexion or hair day, please save me from the embarrassment. I only wish to put my best foot forward," Annalise said pointedly.

Estelle shook her head. "Of course, Anna. Wouldn't want a man to possibly fall for you at your worst. Then we'd know he'd really like you at your best."

"You know that's not what I meant," Annalise admonished. "I just... would rather not look like a garden gnome if I'm to meet a man who might become special to me. First impressions are important."

Estelle had to laugh. "Are they?"

Annalise tilted her head. "You know, you've never told me how you and Christian met."

Estelle blushed. "There's not much to tell. We were neighbors."

"Yes, but I've been to the country estate when you owned it. I know how far it is to the next house," Annalise shot back. "You're blushing. There is a story there, isn't there? Oh, Elle, don't leave your best friend in the dark! Come on, now, out with it."

Estelle sighed. "Anna, has anyone ever told you that you're a bit commandeering when it comes to conversations?"

"My mother always says that I'm a little too pushy for my own good, but I think that just makes me endearing," Annalise smirked.

Estelle rolled her eyes. "Well, since you asked. It's... an interesting story. Definitely not a great first impression..."

She was running. She hated her tutor, especially when they wanted to discuss philosophy when all she wanted to do was play. It was difficult to look out at the breeze blowing on the meadows and think that she'd have to spend her day stuck inside discussing men who have been dead for centuries when all she wanted was to smell the flowers and roll down hills until her dress was so soiled that her mother would yell. Estelle was only ten, and had an air of freedom and adventure about her that only young children had. That was why she'd snuck out. She'd asked to be excused to use the restroom and had climbed out the window, using the lattice on the side as a ladder to reach the ground. After peering around to make sure that no one would see her in order to tattle to her parents, she took off towards the far end of the estate. The grass was up to her chest as she walked through, and she could barely see her feet as she crested the hill. That was precisely how she had missed the fallen log in her path which sent her tripping end over head and rolling down the hill. She let out a cry of surprise as she spun down the grassy expanse until she saw a blur of color in her vision up ahead. What was that?

"Hey! Stop!" a voice called out, but it was too late. She had barrel rolled into something hard and less forgiving than grass, knocking the wind out of her.

"I-is the world done spinning?" she asked dizzily as she tried to straighten herself out. There was something squishy under her knee.

"Don't you know better than to roll down hills?" a voice replied.

Estelle peeked up at the owners... owner? It looked like there were two of them, but as her vision started to sort itself out, they morphed into one slightly annoyed boy's face.

"I didn't roll down the hill," Estelle said adamantly.

"No, I suppose you just happened to appear on top of me and my picnic then?" the voice shot back.

"No, I mean... I didn't intend to roll down the hill," Estelle corrected. "I tripped on a log."

"Oh," the boy replied. "Well, in that case I can't really blame you for smushing my sandwich."

"Sandwich?" she asked in confusion.

"Under your knee," the boy stated, helping her up so that she wasn't laying against his chest and between his legs anymore. As she pulled back to kneel on her heels, she noticed the jam sandwich under her knee, staining her dress.

"Oh, mother is going to kill me," she muttered as she lifted her knee to remove the squished sandwich.

"It was an accident. Surely she'll take that into account," the boy replied, offering her a cloth to wipe off the extra bits of jam on her dress.

"Well, she'll already be quite cross that I skipped my lessons. This will just be adding insult to injury," Estelle sighed.

"You skipped your lessons?" the boy asked in awe. "It seems we have a delinquent on our hands."

"I am not a delinquent! I just... wanted to be outside. It's such a nice day out. I didn't want to spend it cooped up inside studying philosophy."

"That is understandable. Philosophy is so much nicer outside," he smiled.

"What do you mean?" Estelle asked, tilting her head.

"Well, you can see bits of philosophy more clearly in nature. In nature there's a certain truth to things. Or at least, that's what my tutor says. I mostly see beauty, but I suppose there's a truth in that as well," the man replied.

"I think I'd prefer to take lessons with your tutor," Estelle grinned.

"What's your name? Perhaps I can convince my father to send a letter to your parents so that you may use my tutor," the boy offered.

"Estelle Devereux," she replied, holding her hand out to him.

"I'm Christian Thompson," he said with a curt nod, taking her hand. Instead of shaking it, he kissed the back of her hand. She looked away with a blush. This boy certainly was silly.

"Thompson," she murmured, "I think your father is a friend of mine. Your estate is Rouge Meadows, correct? I believe that we are neighbors."

"As close to neighbors as one can get in the country," Christian smiled. "It's nice to meet you. I've been wondering about the house that was built next door for a while now."

"I hope we can be more than just neighbors. With no one else around for miles, I hope we can become friends," Estelle smiled.

"I'd like that," Christian beamed.

Annalise laughed as Estelle finished her story. "I can't believe you landed in his sandwich!"

Estelle blushed, "Gravity has no care for where you land. Besides, according to Sir Isaac Newton, if Christian hadn't been there, it could have been a lot longer before I stopped rolling. However, that's beside the point. Not every first impression has to be good in order for the relationship to be."

Annalise nodded, "I suppose you're right." She looked out over her garden and sighed. "I'm looking forward to seeing new plants and displays this week at the Great Spring Show. I feel as though it's about time to change things up around here."

Estelle brightened. "Oh, I love the Great Spring Show. I heard they have at least five marquees this year at the Temple Gardens. There's been a lot of talk of this one called 'The Lover's Arch.' I'm excited to see it. Since it's open to almost anyone, perhaps I can see if Christian will invite Mr. Cavanaugh so that you can meet."

"That would be lovely," Annalise smiled, "However, if he cannot attend, it isn't the end of the world. Mr. Phillips will be there, and my mother seems to think he could be a suitable match for me. I just wish the man weren't so boring. He came to call on me a few days ago and he wouldn't stop discussing the grandfather clock in our drawing room, and you know how it is when you discuss time. It always passes by more slowly the more you mention it. I swear, Elle, it was the longest hour of my life."

Estelle chuckled. "If I may borrow one of your servants, I'll send a note to Christian."

Annalise nodded, ringing the bell for a maid to come forward. "Elizabeth, if you could fetch a paper, pen, and an envelope for Ms. Devereux, I would truly appreciate it."

"Yes, Miss," Elizabeth replied before going to fetch those items. When she returned she placed them on the table for Estelle. Estelle quickly penned a note and sealed it up, handing it back to her.

"If you could make sure this reaches it's destination, Elizabeth, that would be lovely. Thank you," Estelle smiled.

"Of course, Miss," Elizabeth nodded in deference.

Estelle turned back to her friend, "Well, Anna. This has been lovely. I should probably get going, but I'll see you at the Great Spring Show tomorrow."

"I'm excited for the fireworks at the end of the event."

Estelle smiled as she stood and smoothed out her skirts. "They're said to be spectacular this year. "

"Have a safe trip home," Annalise smiled as Estelle made her way back through the garden gate to her waiting carriage.

Estelle made her way home and enjoyed a quiet evening at home for the first time in days. It was almost odd to not have spent some part of the day with Christian, but she had to get used to it. After all, even if they were to get married someday, there could be times when they didn't see each other. She would have to learn to make do. That didn't change the fact that she was so very bored as she worked on her sewing pattern.

"Sister, that's the fifth time you've sighed in the past ten minutes," Mary grumbled. "If you're going to be like this, then just go to bed. The sooner you sleep, the sooner tomorrow can come."

"I suppose you're right," she sighed. "Maybe I'll go up to my room to write a bit before going to bed."

"I don't care what you do as long as you stop sighing in my ear. It is loud, obnoxious, and annoying," Mary snapped.

Estelle chuckled. "Alright, alright. I'm leaving."

She put her sewing pattern down and went up to retire for the evening. After getting dressed for bed, she sat down at her desk to write. Originally, she had planned on writing in her journal, but instead she found herself writing poems. The words poured out from her soul, and she realized upon rereading them, that they all were about Christian.

"Oh, I truly have it bad," she sighed at herself. A part of her grimaced upon hearing her sigh. Mary was right. It was irksome. With a shake of her head, she gave up and went to bed. Falling asleep in eager anticipation for the next morning.

When she awoke the next morning, she breezed through the hours before Christian came to fetch her for the Great Spring Show. She was excited. The Great Spring Show had always been one of her mother's favorite events of the season due to the colorful flower displays. She practically ran out the door when he arrived.

He had to chuckle at her enthusiasm. "Are you excited for the Garden Show?"

She smiled. "Yes, I am, Mr. Thompson. A whole bunch of flowers... I can almost smell them."

He smiled as he offered her his arm, taking in her green dress with a floral pattern on it. "I see you are dressed for the occasion."

She shrugged. "When in Rome."

"Well, Darling, you might be the loveliest flower there today," he grinned.

Estelle blushed, "Speaking of other attendees... will Mr. Cavanaugh be there? Annalise was hoping to meet him."

"I sent him the invitation. Whether or not he chooses to appear is up to him. William is a bit of a free spirit," Christian grinned.

"I figured as much," Estelle smiled, "Well, let's get going. Flowers wait for no one."

The two of them quickly made their way to the Temple Gardens, taking in the colorful explosion on the various marquees.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many flowers in one place," Estelle murmured in awe. The displays were spectacular. There was one that was in the shape of an Elephant, crowned with roses. It was titled the Maharaja. There were steps built into the side so that one could walk up to sit in the caravan of sunflowers on its back. They walked along, admiring the various displays until they came across Annalise waiting by a woman selling roses. Coincidentally, they saw Mr. Cavanaugh waiting across the way.

"William!" Christian called out, waving him over. The four met up near a bench off to the side of the foot traffic.

"Christian," William smiled, clapping him on the back. He then respectfully bowed to Estelle. "Ms. Devereux, a pleasure as always."

"Mr. Cavanaugh, I'd like you to meet my friend, Annalise Renton," Estelle said, gesturing to Anna. "Anna, this is Mr. William Cavanaugh."

William's eyes widened slightly as he met Annalise's eyes. He gallantly stepped forward to take her hand and kiss it. "Ms. Renton, I'm thoroughly enchanted by your presence."

Annalise blushed, "Mr. Cavanaugh, I've heard quite a bit about you."

William blushed, "All good things, I pray."

"Only the best," Annalise smiled.

With some reluctance, he let go of her hand. Christian and Estelle shared a smile and a look.

"Well, since Mr. Thompson is escorting me around, I think it would only make sense for you to escort Ms. Renton, don't you, Mr. Cavanaugh?"

William swallowed, and nodded. "O-of course. I would be delighted." He offered Annalise his arm. "Ms. Renton, may I have the honor?"

"You may," Annalise replied coyly, slipping her arm into his. The couples broke off to explore more, but Estelle kept an eye on her friends.

"They're getting along quite nicely," Estelle murmured to Christian.

"Even if they are in two different leagues," Christian replied sadly.

Estelle felt a slight pang of guilt. "Do you think I shouldn't have introduced them?"

"I don't know, Darling. Part of me feels as though we've set them up for failure, but they are also adults and can make their own decisions. If I'm being honest, William does have some background in society. He just turned his back on it for the Bohemian lifestyle. His sister is currently in charge of the estate, but I'm sure if he ever wanted to come back, he'd be welcomed with open arms," he explained.

Estelle nodded. That made her feel a little better.

They stopped in front of a maze. It was made out of hedges and potted trees.

"Step up and test the strength of your love!" a barker said beside it.

"How do you suppose we do that?" Christian asked, taking the bait.

"You see, lad. You and your lovely lady here will each enter the maze from two different sides. You'll each be given a map, but the directions are for your partner's path. It's up to you to make it to the center of the maze together, because you need two hands to open the gate under the lover's arch which leads to the stairs to get out of the maze," the barker replied as he pointed at the stairs. They were decorated with a rainbow made of flowers, going over the entire maze, leading from what was presumably the center to the a path outside the maze which led back to the event.

"What do you say, Ms. Devereux, shall we test our relationship?" Christian asked in amusement.

"I think it will be fun," she smiled.

Christian paid the man for their maps and then they lined up at their respective starting lines. When the barker nodded at them, they entered the maze.

"Alright, Ellie, it looks like you need to take a right at the fork up ahead," Christian called out.

"And you had better take the middle path," Estelle replied.

Together, they worked their way through the maze of green. The further along they got, the darker the sky became as the day whittled away. When they broke into the opposite sides of the center clearing, it was like an explosion of color between the sunset above and the flowers around. There were red roses, pink peonies, yellow sunflowers, and many more flowers that Estelle didn't even recognize. She slowly turned in a circle, taking it all in before facing the heart shaped arch covered in flowers. There was a door with instructions as to how to open it.

"This is beautiful," she murmured.

"It is," Christian replied, coming up behind her. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist as they spent a moment together in silence, just admiring the view.

"I suppose we should figure out the gate," she replied, looking up at the sky. "It's getting late. They should be starting the end of event fireworks soon."

"In a moment," he replied. "I was wondering if we could talk about something important."

Estelle turned in his arms to face him. "Of course."

"Well, I think this maze proved the strength of our bond rather nicely," he smirked.

"We did manage to get through it together," she smiled back.

"And that's just it. We did it together, just like old times. You make all of this not feel like I'm just playing a part. My father and I have been having some difficulties at home due to how I present myself and the fact that I probably talk too much. I love the fact that with you, I can just be myself, even if for a moment. Part of me... wants to make that moment last forever," he murmured, gently reaching out to cup her cheek. He stroked his thumb across her soft skin. The darkness was quickly setting in around them as the sun finally disappeared below the horizon. All around, little fireflies came to life from within the flowers.

"That's the problem with moments," she replied, "Their own nature means that they can't last forever."

"I suppose I'll just have to create so many moments that it feels as if they never end," he smiled, pulling her into him.

She broke out in a grin as he hugged her close, spinning her around a bit. When he set her back down, she felt that familiar magnetic pull into him. Her eyes closed as his hands settled on her face to bring her in for a kiss. She melted into him as flickers of light lit up the sky as fireworks boomed themselves into noisy existence before twinkling out into the vast expanse of the night sky. It was funny, really, seeing the physical manifestations of the way kissing him made her feel. As the fireworks started to speed up, crackling in a crescendo above them to signify the finale, they pulled apart, looking up at the sky to watch. Well, Estelle watched. Christian was too busy watching how the lights illuminated Estelle's face, highlighting her features in a way that he wish he could put into words. A silence settled in after the last firework fizzled out of existence with less fanfare than had accompanied its creation. Estelle's eyes settled back down from the sky to find Christian's blue gaze intent on her face.

"They'll be looking for us," she replied.

"We should go find them," he agreed.

Together, they opened the gate and crossed the rainbow bridge back to the event. They found their friends deep in discussion on a bench.

"There you two are," Annalise grinned. "We were beginning to think that you had left us behind."

"And leave without saying goodbye? Perish the thought," Estelle teased.

Annalise's eyes narrowed on Estelle and Christian, taking in how they were standing with each other. Something had changed. That much she knew.

"Well, Ms. Renton, I've had a lovely evening with you," William announced.

"Perhaps we could share a carriage?" Annalise proposed.

"That will be a trip for the two of you," Christian replied. "I'll be walking Ms. Devereux home. It isn't far and it's a lovely night."

Annalise nodded. "Alright, well, take care, you two." Then, she turned to Mr. Cavanaugh. "Shall we?"

"We shall," he smiled as he led her away.

Christian and Estelle chuckled as they watched them leave.

As Estelle and Christian made their way back to her home, they walked in silence for a moment.

"Thank you," Christian finally said.

"For what?" she asked in confusion.

"Always supporting me. With everything going on with at home, having your support has meant a lot," he murmured.

Estelle tipped up and kissed his cheek. "I'll always be here for you. Besides, the sooner that society sees that the Bohemians value some of the same things as they do, the better. For instance, that flower show would be a Bohemian's dream. All that beauty in one place? Truly magnificent."

He gave her a slight smile. "I guess you're right."

They came to a stop in front of her house. "Well, here we are now. This has been a perfect night," she sighed in content.

"It really has," he grinned.

"Will I see you soon?" she asked.

"I hope so," he replied, "Well, good night, Ms. Devereux."

He bowed slightly to her before turning to leave, but she took hold of his arm to stop him.

"Christian, wait."

"What is it?" he asked in concern.

"Well... I couldn't let you leave without letting you know that I want to create as many moments with you as you'll allow," she said softly.

He broke out in a wide grin, "And now that you have?"

"Now I can say good night," she smiled, gently letting her hand drop from his arm.

"Good night, Ellie."

"Good night, Christian."

Estelle made her way back into her house, leaning her back against the door as she heard it click closed behind her. Oh, what a night.

[storytime-hoe]

Tough Love Ch.15

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes into Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Emma (O/C). She is a thief who fears friendships after her hard losses. She stays on the move, studying communities from afar and then robbing them blind. She has stayed alive this way for a while until the Governor catches her in the act. Now she finds herself with the group from the prison in a mission to kill the Governor for what he has done to her. She plans on stealing supplies from the prison group after the Governor is killed, but she might be growing a little too close to the groups members, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This seem short compared to some of the other chapters maybe, but I didn’t want to combine another with this just to make it longer because I feel that the next part deserves to be its own chapter.

Previously: Ch.1     Ch.2       Ch.3       Ch.4     Ch.5      Ch.6     Ch.7       Ch.8       Ch.9       Ch.10          Ch.11        Ch.12        Ch.13       Ch.14

The world was so quiet anymore. There was no traffic noise or airplanes flying overhead or construction workers jackhammering at sidewalks. It was nice for the most part, but the silence was louder than those old noises at times. 

Like right now, as I sat up in the guard tower overlooking the prison yard. My feet dangled off the ledge of the tower as I was sat on the ground leaned back on my hands. My mind wandered to all the sad event of my life from before, the events that started not only when the dead rose again. But I permanently had my shitty past life engraved in me. From all the dates with douchebags to working endless hours to provide for my shit mom and brother. However, all the memories weren’t bad, it was just the bad ones that always came back to me at times like this, times of quiet. 

That's one of many reasons that I loved that Daryl joined me on watch everyday. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts for too long, it wasn’t good for me to get into my own head like that. But Daryl kept me at ease, even if he wasn't talking to me to fill the silence, his presence was enough for me to relax.

The sound of heavy steps coming up from behind me signaled that Daryl was finally here.

"About damn time," I teased without turning to make sure that it was actually him.

"Took forever to get this," he said as he plopped down beside of me with two plates of food.

I lit up at the smell of food, but my mouth dropped open at the sight of a familiar bottle of vodka that he sat down between us. It was the bottle that he had taken from my hands during the eventful run with Sasha and Glenn. I remembered dropping my bottle and wasting it all when the herd of Walkers came at us, but I never saw what he did with his.

"Put it in my pack 'fore we hightailed it outta there," he filled in for me with a shrug.

When I found the bottle, they had all wanted to take them back with us that night, but I wanted to enjoy them right then and there like a fucking idiot. I was glad that that didn't happen however, because now I only had to share with one other person this way.

"Should we be drinking while on watch though? What if something happens and we don't see it?"

He nodded and chewed at the skin by his thumb nail. "Ya can drink all ya want. I'll watch."

A grin slowly spread across my face. I hand  hand on the bottle, eager to get a taste of the strong liquid, something I hadn’t done since the world went to shit. At my hesitation Daryl looked at me and nodded for me to go on. I snatched up the bottle and opened it up to take a swig. "If you insist," I giggled out like a fucking school girl, downing another swig of the fiery liquid.

When I glanced over to him, I saw the grin that he was fighting, but it won the battle against his stubbornness and shown through in the end. I liked seeing him smile, it gave me pride when I was the cause of it, even if it was only because I was being stupid and messing up. I just liked seeing him happy, happy was a rare thing these days.

As we began digging into our dinner I kept a careful eye on the fence line, at least pretending to do the job of keeping watch,  even while I drank down half of the bottle.

"Were your fans glad to see you stop in?" I snickered with a playful nudge to his arm with my elbow. 

He knew that I was referring to all the people that lived in the prison that had come to obsess over him. They loved that he provided them with food and a sense of comfort. Who wouldn't love it? He was perfect and for some damn reason he was the only one to not think so.

He scoffed before taking a bite of the deer meat that was on his plate. "Pretty much. These people can't let me be for two fucking seconds without wantin' to chat me up."

 I could tell it was actually getting to him as he talked. He hated attention, the good or the bad attention. "They just look up to you. You're the reason most of them are alive, ya know."

"Well, I don't want to be no damn hero." He took a gulp out of the bottle of alcohol at that, despite that he planned on not drinking in order to keep watch, but I just let him take it from my hand and put it back on my leg when he was done.

 After a long pause of silence, he continued, his thoughts needing to be spoken to someone. "Sometimes I wish it was jus' us again, our small group, 'fore we started takin' in all these people."

I nodded understandingly. Most of them were dumb as hell sometimes because of their lack of experience out in the real world after being cooped up in Woodbury, and it was hard not to be angry about it. "It's not their fault. The Governor had them all thinking things would return to the way they were."

Daryl grunted in disgust, taking out a cigarette from his pocket, resorting to a smoke rather than the vodka this time.

"Do you think it ever will? Do you think things will go back eventually?" I really missed the world sometimes and I could imagine building up civilizations again and governments and starting back where we left off. I washed down that longing with the tang of my drink.

He thought about it for a long time, before his meaningful eyes flicked to mine with a sense of sadness pulling at them. "Nah. Think it's all too fucked to ever get back to any kind of normal."

I swallowed hard, not wanting to believe it, but he was right. God, he was fucking right, and I had to accept that. 

 "Is there anything you miss about the way the world used to be?"

He took a long drawly off his cigarette and for a moment I thought he was going to ignore the question and not answer. Then he finally shook his head, eyes trained on the fence still yet.  "Not really," he spoke, looking out at the world in front of him. "You?"

I debated whether answering him seriously, but if I was working on the opening up thing, so I decided to be honest. "I miss parties; staying up all night with a bottle of booze and laughing at nothing," I said, the memories tugging at my heart. It was weird to reminisce the good times and not the bad ones. I wasn’t used to that, and the alcohol in me making it harder to hold back the emotion in my voice. "I miss getting dressed up for things and dancing." I sad smile graced my lips. I had lived in a shitty trailer park and didn't have much, but I could remember the nights of drinking with friends until we passed out, and dancing the nights away and acting like kids again.

The silence that followed was heavy. I really ruined the mood didn't I? Why did I have to make everything so depressing all the time? My eyes stung with the need to cry it out. I missed having fun so fucking much, but it would never be the same. Daryl had said it himself, the world was far too fucked up to be any kind of normal ever again.

With a grunt of effort Daryl got to his feet. "Come on," he said with the cigarette still dangling on his lips.

"What are you doing?" I searched his face for an explanation, but as usual his intentions were hidden.

"Can't give ya no damn party," he began a little shyly at first, much to my surprise. He had never acted bashful around me. Rude– yes, brash– definitely, but not bashful. "But I'll give you one dance," he continued. Then more irritably, "Then I'm done."

I hadn't expected this. He was not the type to offer to do something so personal or intimate. I'd come accustom to him avoiding physical touch with anybody at all. He looked awkward in hugs and he always steered clear of most human interactions. He only let a few people get close to him.

My heart did a flip when he reached his hand out to me. "C'mon 'fore I change ma mind."

He didn't have to say it twice before I got to my feet a little too quickly and placed my hand into his, letting him slowly guide me to him. 

His hands timidly laid at my hips and I snaked mine up around his neck. He didn't say anything else and neither did I, afraid to ruin the moment. He slowly swayed me back and forth and I gradually pulled in closer to him until my head lay down against his chest, listening to his heart beating rather quickly.

Suddenly, I was so fucking grateful for all the dark times and suffering that I had gone through in my lifetime. It let me recognize moments like this as they were: moments of pure bliss and love. 

My ridiculous mind then started to wander what it would be like to be with Daryl like this all the time. I already did fall asleep holding onto him every night, listening to that heart beat and falling asleep to the rhythmic sound. But this was different somehow... more intimate. We weren’t going to sleep as soon as we got comfy, we were both painfully aware of how close we were and how our breaths were picking up. 

Then I let myself do the worst thing possible. I let myself wander what it would be like to kiss him. I had recently come to terms that I had a thing for Daryl, and I always admired him for how he looked, but I never let myself dwelled on doing anything with him before. Nothing more than a daydream, that is, knowing there as a possibility that I was reading everything wrong the entire time and that he wouldn't feel the same way about me. Now, however, with the alcohol coursing through me, it wasn't sounding like a bad idea.

I lifted my head ever so slightly towards him. The stubbled on his face scratched against my cheek and I looked up at him through my eyelashes. When he moved his head down farther against mine I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

Our noses were hitched against each other, our hard paced breaths mixing together. His hand came up to rest at the back of my head, the forgotten cigarette pinched between two fingers.

Forget the butterflies, there was a whole damn zoo ramming around in my insides.

I wanted to kiss him so fucking bad. We were so close together, our lips almost ghosting each other, that one slight move would do the trick. But we were both stuck in place.

What the fuck was I doing? This wasn't me, it had to be the vodka acting for me. I could do this. He wasn't thinking straight and neither was I for a different reason. He just felt bad for me. Of course that was it. He felt bad because I was bitching about missing the old world. So here he was trying to make me feel better. He didn't really want this. He couldn't really want this. It was crazy.

So, I had to stop it before I doubled crazy.

I angled my head back from him so I could open my mouth to speak, but I had to take a moment to clear my throat in order to get my voice to actually work. "I- I should go sleep off this bottle I just downed. Another early day tomorrow.” I attempted a smile, but it wouldn’t surface like I wanted it to, my mind too distracted by the feelings that flowed through me. Every part of me betrayed the words I was saying, from the way my voice shook to my eyes flicking down at his lips every now and again. 

His eyes searched mine for a second before he put some distance between us, but still held me to him in his arms, like a cage of warmth that I never wanted to exit.

"Listen, I been meanin’ ta talk wit’ ya," he began, clearly struggling with how he wanted to phrase his next words.

Oh fuck. This better not be some love confession or some shit, I couldn't handle something like that right now.

"I think maybe we should stop goin' out there. He ain't coming back."

My breath hitched in my chest. He was talking about the Governor.

I pushed out of his arms and looked at him accusingly the moment I registered his words. "The fuck are you saying? I should give up? Let him roam the world a free man after what he did to all of us?"

He ran a hand over his face, letting out an exhausted sigh. "The trail went cold, Emma. We can't keep wanderin' 'round mindlessly. It's time to start doing other things. The group needs us doin' other shit."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could he expect me to drop it just like that? I couldn't forget what the Governor did and I knew he was alive out there. I wasn't going to rest until it was taken care of.

I shoved at his chest hard, not being able to find the right words to show him how upset I was. When he didn't react and just let me hit him again, I boiled over.

"Fuck you Dixon! You're wrong. He is out there, I know he is. Do you want him to keep hurting people? You know what he's done to me! You fucking–"

"Course I don't want him to–"

"Then I am not fucking giving up!"

I was going ballistic. I wanted to cry and slap him and scream until my lungs were out of air. I had never been so mad at him in my life. Not when he called me names or gave me shit or even when he I was pissed about him defending Merle when I had first met him. 

My head began to spin and I tilted off balance slightly. Daryl took a step towards me with his hands outstretch, ready to steady my swaying form.

"Don't fucking touch me," I breathed out unthreateningly, the breath feeling like it had been kicked out of my lungs.

I had to get away. Right now. Before I did things I would regret. I stormed towards the stairs, grabbing onto the railing for balance.

Daryl made the mistake of grabbing my arm to stop me. I didn't even think, I just wanted away from him, so I spun towards him and slapped him across the face with a loud smack.

He released my arm immediately, and step away from me, the shock evident on his face. I felt just as shocked as he was, and a little guilty at the red mark that spread across his cheek. 

I didn't say anything else as I looked him over one more time, the desperation and longing in his eyes. After staring into his eyes for a minute, I had to remind myself to stay mad. So, I turned around and started fumbling down the steps before I gave into him.

But not this time. I wasn’t running to him. I didn’t need him. I was going  to hide in the comfort of my own cell, not his, the tears already puddling and ready to fall.

For fucks sake, when was I going to stop letting him make me cry?

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx @bvbwestfall @my-current-fandom-is

[screamingintosilence]

You Were the Greatest Thing (That Ever Happened to Me)

Songfic Writing Challenge Day 10

Terrible Things - Mayday Parade

Warning: Major Character Death

Jughead Jones watched in amusement from across the yard as his 16 year old son brushed a hand through his own dark locks, looking nervous and slightly sweaty as he stuttered over his words while talking to the beautiful red headed 15 year old daughter of Archie Andrews and Veronica Lodge.

To his chagrin, Betty had put her foot down during pregnancy and that's how their sweet, beautiful baby boy ended up being named Forsythe Pendelton Jones the Fourth. FP had laughed heartily when they told him, he knew it was definitely Betty's choice. But when their little guy came into the world, screaming, pink, and a head full of downy black hair, Betty had looked at him with a smile that said, “See? He's your son and I was right.”

And she was right, she was always right. The only concession she gave him when it came to their child's name was letting him pick out a nickname because “Betts, if that's going to be his name, we’re not actually calling him that.” And that is how Cooper Jones the Fourth made his entrance into their lives.

He watched as his son turned and ran towards him, smile splitting across his face and all Jughead could think was his much he looked like Betty in that moment. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, they all came from his wife.

“Hey Dad!” Cooper was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Son,” Jughead smirked at the boy while raising the glass of sweet tea to his lips.

“Can I borrow your truck? I finally did it! I asked Jules to the movies and she said yes!” Both Joneses looked over to where the redhead girl was excitedly talking to her mother, the look on Cooper’s face one of adoration. Jughead smiled, it reminded him of how he must have looked when he first fell in love with Betty.

“Don’t stay out too late. You behave tonight, ok? And you treat her right Bud, got it?” The ring of keys rested on the older man's finger, waiting for his son to take it.

“He always does, Mr. Jones!” the young Juliet Andrews cut in, skipping over to them, not realizing how her words made Jughead's heart stutter and stop for a few moments before picking up again.

“Always! Thanks Dad!” Cooper grabbed the keys before interlocking his fingers with the petite girl next to him, both getting lost in each other as they walked to the front of the house where he had parked when they came over to the Andrews’. Neither teen noticing how tears brimmed in Jughead's eyes.

He felt a slim arm loop itself through his own at the same time as a heavy, familiar hand came to rest and squeeze his shoulder.

“B and I used to joke about this happening,” he heard Veronica softly say next to him as she too squeezed his arm, resting her head on his other shoulder. “We would talk about just how long it would take them, like how long it took for you two.”

The tears started to slowly fall. “He must take after me,” he let out a watery laugh. “I'm pretty sure he's been in love with her since I told him what love was. Probably took until reading his mom's words from when we were his age about how she wished I would just make a move for him to pluck up his own courage.”

The pressure from the hand his redhead best friend increased. “You were the very best thing to happen to her, Jug. Believe it. She glued us all together, figuring out in her Betty way just how this crazy jigsaw fit together.” He nodded, sniffling to keep from sobbing.

“She did,” he swiped at his eyes. “It's been nearly eleven years, but it still feels like yesterday, ya know?” He could see tears rimming Archie's eyes as Veronica let hers stream down her cheeks as they both nodded.

“Let's get you home, Jug,” Archie's arm wrapped securely around his friend’s shoulders as Veronica's hand dropped to his, holding it firmly. He might have always been friends with Archie, but it was Betty's doing that they had stuck together through even the toughest of times; and it was Betty who had brought the whirlwind that was Veronica Lodge into his life, even if it was begrudgingly at first.

--

It had been hours since the Andrewses had seen him safely home. He had pulled some of Betty's old journals from her last few days to read, a habit of his from the past ten years.

His was reading over her passage from the day she had told him the news, his heart breaking over every sentence.

I told Juggie the news today, it didn't go well. I had gotten the call this morning from the doctor that my results came in. It was devastating. Juggie and Cooper were out having a boys day with FP and I just didn't have the heart to interrupt to have him come with me.

Crying in the middle of a doctor's office without my husband definitely makes it on my top 5 most embarrassing moments... But I won't have many of those moments left to make, I guess.

I've been in tears all day, but there's nothing to be done about it. I was told that I can still give it a shot to fight this, but the cancer was progressing so rapidly that my chances are very slim. The oncologist said that my counts have jumped exponentially and that I'm already Stage 4. Stage 4 cancer at 33….

Cooper is only 5, what will Juggie do? He's the most amazing dad, I know he'll be ok, but God, I'm far from it. There won't be chances to see him grow from my tiny little squirt to being as tall as Jug. There won't be any Homecoming, Formal, or Prom pictures of me pinching his cheeks. I won't get to meet the person he'll fall irrevocably in love with and I won't get to tell him that that's how it was with his father.

I know Jug will do all of these things, and he'll be wonderful and amazing and everything or baby boy needs. It's just so hard to come to terms with one’s own demise.

And Jug, God, Jug. We won't have our 90 years together like we joke about. I don't know if we'll even have 1. God what I would give for the assurance of just one more year together.

I love him more than all the stars in all the galaxies. He was everything I ever needed, always there for me from the beginning. God, I don't know if he even knows how much I love him, how much he means to me.

I-

The front door opened as Jughead hastily wiped the tears from his cheeks and dabbed at the page of Betty's diary gently, careful to try and not smudge it even more from where his past years and even hers had fallen.

His 16 year old son, his and Betty's pride and joy, waltzed in with a look of having his head in the clouds. Jughead smiled, though some rouge tears still fell free.

“You guys have a good time?” His question came out a little choked, causing Cooper to come to, taking in the scene of his father on the couch, nose and eyes red, with his mother's journals in front of him.

“Yeah, the movie was good. Jules was just…” His eyes got a little dreamy at the mention of his best friend, now potentially girlfriend. “You ok, Dad?”

“Yeah, just…” Jughead trailed off.

Cooper sat next to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders, shoulders that used to carry his son on them for hours, but now felt like they carried the world, especially in moments like this. “Just missing Mom?”

Jughead tried swallowing past the lump in his throat, wiped his hands over his face, and nodded. “Yeah. She would have been so proud of you, Cooper. You were her baby boy, and now you're all grown up.”

Tears filled the young man's emerald green orbs (ones just like his mother's) as he ducked his head to gather his thoughts.

“You know, she was terrified of being a mother, scared after the way she was raised and seeing how crazy your Aunt Polly. But God, Cooper, you made her so happy. She took one look at you and it clicked. She looked at me and said, ‘This is it, Jug. This is how it was always meant to be. I was always meant to be his mommy and you his daddy.’ And like always, she was right. I was always meant to be your dad. You made it so easy, you were such a wonderful baby and child. You have me the strength and will to keep going, Buddy.”

Jug pulled Cooper into a tight embrace, kissing the top of his head. He could feel the tears staining his shirt from where his son's head rested.

After a few moments of silence, the younger man pulled back, wiping away the tears that lingered on his face.

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you tell me about the time that you first kissed Mom again?”

Jughead laughed. “Sure, Bud. Well I had went over to her house one afternoon to see how she was. We had snuck into The Sisters of Quiet Mercy, where your grandparents had put Aunt Polly when she was pregnant with the twins, the day before.” Cooper was nodding along. Jughead had told him this story so many times now but it was one of his son's favorites.

“We got caught by your grandmother, and she was so furious that she kept your mom home from school without access to her phone. So naturally I grabbed the ladder from your Uncle Archie's dad's garage and scaled the side of the house to your mom's window.” He gave his son a stern look suddenly, “Don't even think about doing that with Jules, you hear me? Your aunt would kick my ass.”

Cooper snorted, “I won't, but Aunt Veronica wouldn't do that. She loves me too much to care,” he grinned mischievously.

Jughead jokingly cuffed his ear, “Let’s not test that theory, shall we?” The young man laughed, settling down one more.

“So, anyways. I could see your mom through the glass looking very serious and contemplative, kinda like how you get sometimes. She was still trying to solve everything in that beautiful blonde head of hers, and I just knew that that was my moment. I had loved her for years already, but seeing her be Nancy Drew,” he looked down at the floor, his mind conjuring up the image of his love. “She was something else, Coop.

“I knocked on her window to get her attention, thinking I was so clever and smooth. I remember the first thing I said was ‘Hey there Juliet, nurse off duty?’” Cooper snorted again. “Yeah, it was as cheesy as it sounds, but God, your mom? She just brought that mushy side out of me.” He grinned at the memories.

“You know, that's where Jules got her name.”

“Wait, what? You never told me this. How?” Cooper looked bewildered at the new information.

“Yeah. After the complications of your birth made it so we couldn't have any more kids, your aunt decided that she would use the name for us. She loved your mom so much and knew how much she wanted to name a little girl Juliet that Veronica said she'd name her daughter that to honor her. Jules was originally going to be named Elizabeth but your mom insisted that they go with Juliet once you were born.”

Cooper sat, stunned that the love of his life got her name from his parents love story.

“Betty desperately wished she could watch the man you would become, she's so proud of you, Bud. I just know it.” Cooper's and Jug’s eyes glistened.

“She's so proud of you too, Dad.”

“Thanks, Coop. Now, enough sad. Tell me about your date,” giving his son the biggest shit-eating grin.

“Daaaad-”

[luna-ephemere]

Thruce + De-aged Ironstrange with Uncle Loki Ft Peter

Consider this:

One day while Peter is visiting an argument between Stephen and Tony caused an experiment to go haywire causing a loud explosion and Peter found two de-aged avengers Stephen & Tony (as 5-6 year olds)

Kid Stephen and Kid Tony is aware of their powers (Stephen has his magic and Tony has his nanotech suit that he can tap at any time to suit up) but they both don’t recognise the other avengers or anyone else.

Kid Stephen and Kid Tony constantly argues but gets sassy and protective over each other if someone yells or “threatens” the other

They also hold hands like it’s the most normal thing in the world wherever they go and refused to be separated

Cue Peter freaking out because what is he supposed to do now?! He can’t look after them because he has school and aunt May will lose it if he hides these two in his room.

In panic he calls Ned who comes over with a bunch of legos to distract and occupy Stephen and Tony but they know they needed a solution. Ned suggested Peter ask for the help of the strongest Avengers: Thor and Bruce Banner

Bruce and Thor live in a small 2 bedroom apartment in New York. They are hopelessly in love with each other but Bruce insists on taking this pretty slow because he is still full of insecurities of himself

Cue to Peter and Ned showing up to the Thruce Apartment with kid Tony and kid Stephen clinging to both his leg.

Thor agrees to take them in immediately because Thor LOVES kids. Bruce however is very concerned that their place may not be the safest environment for children. And that this environment can cause him to stress and unleash the other guy

In the end Bruce accepts that he and Thor would be the best people to figure this possible Science/Magic thing out and that if the roles were reversed and he was the one de-aged Tony would do the same for him

Except they have another problem: Loki is staying with them at their apartment as an honorary house-guest indefinitely

Loki finds extreme amusement in scaring Kid Tony and kid Stephen now that they are smol. He particularly likes to scare kid Stephen especially to get revenge on him. Except Tony a feisty kid and does not hesitate to bite Loki in the leg for making Stephen cry

The prank and scare battles between Loki vs kid Tony/kid Stephen continues for a few day until Bruce and Thor had to sit the two kids down to apologise to uncle Loki (and not blow a raspberry at him when Bruce isn’t looking) and they also sat Loki down because “seriously Loki? you’re picking on children now?”

But then a thought comes to mind, “Hey Loki, do you know how break the spell?”

Loki all smug now assures them of course he knows except he can break the spell but he cannot and won’t do it because the reason why he is currently hiding in Thor and Bruce’s apartment (because “why would I willingly stay in this lowly place if I had any other choice?”) is because he is hiding from his grandmaster boyfriend who is scouring the galaxy for his ass and this dude can locate wherever Loki is located if Loki simply uses magic (the stronger magic Loki uses, the easier it will be to read where he is). So if he wants to avoid his bf he should keep his magic to a minimum and the kind of magic that can undo this spell is not a light one so *shrugs*

But Loki agrees take it down a notch with the jump scares and pranks while they try to find an alternative method ...As long as Bruce and Thor aren’t home what they don’t know won’t hurt them and if he is assigned to be their babysitter while they go to work then he should have some fun at least. He just won’t make them cry.

Kid Tony and Kid Stephen grows to adore uncle Loki over the coming days when Bruce and Thor comes home to them asleep on the couch with Stephen tucked on Loki’s side and Tony drapped on his shoulders. Squiggly drawings all over their faces with a sharpie and lion king playing on TV

One Saturday when they had the day off they decided to go to the zoo with Peter to take the kids out so they’re not too cooped up at home (and also give Loki a break from babysitting)

Except Stephen and Tony likes to wander off on their own and Bruce in panic when he realised the kids are no longer with them unleashed the other guy under stress

They see that Tony and Stephen are inside the lion’s area area because they wanted to see Simba. They almost got hurt except hulk snatched both Tony and Stephen out of the way and far away from the zoo leaving a panicked Thor and Peter hurriedly

Hulk took both Tony and Stephen to an abandoned parkland where there wouldn’t be anyone for miles and he sat them down gently. Tony and Stephen were not scared at the Hulk at all and found that escape thing ‘FUN!’ But Hulk roared at them to get them to calm down a bit which worked a little too well as the kids nearly peed their pants in fright before patting both of them awkwardly on the head. It began to rain not long after and Hulk huddled both of them close to shield them from the storm.

Between the scary storm and the shelter form the hulk, Stephen and Tony chooses the Hulk

Bruce wakes up back in the apartment with Thor by his side on a chair. Bruce had a cold and only remembered going to the zoo and then losing Stephen and Tony and then hulking out and panicked asking if anybody got hurt again because of him

Thor is quick tor reassure him that Bruce is the most selfless and wonderful person, Bruce unconscious in the rain with both Stephen and Tony in his arms. Stephen trying to make a shield that was too small for them to shelter them from the rain and Tony using his nanotech to activate the built-in heater to warm them all up but it’s not really working

Thor knew that Bruce is afraid of settling down and doing normal things like having a family, being a parent and raising children and believing that Hulk cannot co-exist with that and therefore Bruce cannot co-exist with that as well but that the events of yesterday proved otherwise because Bruce is capable and caring and his first instinct was to protect and shield the kids and then everyone else and this is why Thor loves Bruce so much and he will wait until whenever Bruce is finally ready to embrace himself first for who he is.

Then they made out but was interrupted by an “EWW~” from kid Tony and kid Stephen by the door and Peter running after then not long after apologising profusely for not realising earlier they were no longer watching Toy Story in front of the TV. 

Loki following behind them announcing them that they are all failures as babysitters compared to a world class one like himself and they should appreciate him more. But also that he has decided he is sick of staying in this boring place and so he doesn’t mind breaking the spell with his magic if that means he can escape back with his sugar daddy to Sakaar (”Don’t kid yourself, I’m doing this for myself, not for you.” sure, sure you big softie)

But before they do Loki gave the kids a bit of a push and both kid Tony and kid Stephen shyly comes over to Thor and Bruce to apologize and say thank you for looking after them all this time. They finished with a bow before running over for a big hug.

Peter suggested they take a photo before Loki undo the spell (”Guys! can I put this on snapchat?! I promise to make it private!!!”) and they began to pose with Tony being held by Bruce and doing a peace sign and Stephen sitting on Thor’s shoulder waving. Peter was set to take the photo before the kids protested to ask Uncle Loki to be in the photo too which Loki at first refused but then relented in joining when Thor and Bruce asked him to as well. Loki stood between Thor and Bruce with one hand doing a bunny ear sign on Stephen’s head and the other on Tony’s head

When the photo was taken and a flash appeared: Thor and Bruce collapsed under heavy weight of Stephen and Tony back to their normal forms. Confused as ever and getting up and dusting themselves whilst apologising to Thor and Bruce and seeing Loki and Peter there as well while they are all standing inside of Thor and Bruce’s small bedroom. They clearly had no memory of what has happened during the past week and no one really want to tell them either.

Tony and Stephen leaves only to find a large spaceship descending right accross Thor and Bruce’s apartment blaring Sakaar’s top 40. Tony and Stephen are ready to get in combat mode but Loki merely saunters over confidently ready to be whisked away.

Bruce and Thor stands next to each other as they watch a confused Tony and Stephen, the spaceship opening and Loki entering and the descending away and then Bruce’s phone beeping because he just received one message from Peter of the photo that was just taken of them moments ago. Bruce smiles.

Art by the very talented @laizy-boy 💙(thank you!)

[trashunlimited]

despite the lack of feedback i receive on this stuff...i hope people like this story so far. i worked really hard on the characters and the romance, and i hope it has paid off. chapter 8 should be soon :).

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

tagging: @nightshade1994, @glampyra

When Cyn had returned to Fyralog, he had explained what had happened to him, making the mention he had almost got the fuel source, but Rick had burned him, literally. Pyri was becoming frustrated with Cyn, she was forced to watch her citizens suffer through an energy crisis with nothing much she could do about it.

“Remember Cyn, you have one last chance left, don’t blow it.” She reminded him. “You fail this time, and you’re discharged.”

Cyn was nervous about this, he so desperately wanted to help, so he didn’t want to screw this up. “Can’t you help me in any way? Get me some form of assistance?” He asked hopefully.

Pyri thought about it. “I suppose so, I’ll assign some other generals to help you.”

He grinned eagerly at this, hoping this new help would finally cause him to get that chunk back.

When the help did arrive, they were also hoping to get the fuel back, and Cyn headed off with them on their ships to Earth. However, when they arrived, Rick was nowhere to be found, not even his girl, and this confused him greatly. Using the tracker, it seemed Rick was at least near...Glorf. Cyn sighed, he didn’t want to head towards enemy territory, but it seemed he and the other generals had no choice.

Cyn decided he couldn’t risk it, and that he needed to come up with a plan. He and his generals stayed on their ship, figuring out what to do about Rick.

----------------

A week had passed since Rick and Julie had arrived at Glorf, and they’d been spending most of their time together, not being familiar with anyone else there. Julie was starting to realize her feelings for Rick were more than just a simple crush, she was in falling in love with him.

Rick treated her kindly, and even though he acted shy at times, she could tell he enjoyed having her near him. He would smile when he saw her, and he seemed to like making her laugh and would compliment her too, sometimes coming off as flirtatious; Julie was embarrassed by it at times, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t like it. Rick was also growing to be more comfortable with her touch, she still asked him sometimes if he was okay with it, and he always said yes. Julie was so pleased to know he was doing better with her. She had gotten to know him well, but he was still mysterious to her, she wanted to know more about him, and believed he would open up in time.

She loved his jokes and his antics, he always made her feel so happy, and for the first time in a long time, her happiness was genuine. When Julie was with him, it felt like all her insecurities, pain and sorrow disappeared, she could tell he brought out the best in her. She hadn’t talked about why she felt so lonely, and why she was so sad at times, but in time, Julie knew she would tell him.

Julie admired Rick’s confidence, how he did whatever he wanted, how he didn’t care about what anyone thought of him and how he said whatever was on his mind. He was so strong, talented, brave, powerful, assertive, humorous, smart, relaxed and laid-back. He was also very attractive to her, which was a bonus. She loved everything about him really, and hoped they could become closer, and also hoping he would return her feelings one day. But because of her weaker, shyer personality, she didn’t see it as likely, but Julie still tried to remain hopeful and optimistic. If they ended up together, there was too the hope their love would last, not wanting to get her heart broken again.

When Rick would go outside to test his new weapons, Julie would watch him from afar, and be impressed with his skills, abilities and of course, his strength too. She didn’t approve of violence, but at the same time, she understood why he was doing this to begin with.

--------------

One day, Julie decided they should go out and explore together, not wanting to continue being cooped up in the house, and Rick agreed, feeling the same way she did. When they left the house, Julie made the move to hold Rick’s hand, so she could feel safe and comfortable, and he shyly let her.

They walked through the city together, taking in the sights. Rick really didn't care much about it, but Julie was so amazed and impressed, she was so eager to explore, and Rick went along with it to make her happy.

As they wandered together, the two came across some type of park, covered with flowers and trees, the whole thing was covered in what looked like a glass dome. “That place looks so beautiful,” Julie said in awe. “We should go there!”

Rick shrugged. “Sure.”

They headed inside, and Julie was even more amazed, scanning around to look at all the plants and flowers. There were holographic projections displaying information about the plant life, and Julie read as much as she could.

After exploring, they sat down on a bench overlooking a stream of water. Rick really wasn’t into this at all, but he tried to look like he did and not act like a dick for Julie’s sake.

“Y-You know, all the plant life, and well..I’m pretty sure everything here is f-f-fake. They just tried to make it look real.” Rick pointed out.

“Why would you say that?” Julie asked in confusion.

“A place like this with so much advanced technology? It wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out a lot of the natural wildlife got killed off to make progress.” He explained.

In response, she playfully poked him. “Aw don’t be such a buzzkill Rick! Just enjoy it!”

“Wh-Whatever.”

She looked at him worriedly, unsure what was wrong. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, stop worrying about me so much.” Rick replied, brushing her concerns off.

“Rick, I worry about you because I care about you, we’re friends, and I..” She stopped herself. “We’ve become close, you know you can tell me whenever something’s bothering you, or...just anything really. I...I want to be there for you..” Julie began to blush at those last words, and inched her hand close to his.

Rick’s face went red, and he looked down at her hand, feeling shy again. She was so kind and thoughtful, always wanting to help him and all...it was making him feel those weird feelings again, and he tried to ignore them but they just kept coming back. Once more, he had to face the possibility he was falling in love with Julie, and Rick knew he couldn’t ignore his feelings forever, but he still wasn’t ready to admit he loved her. The only feelings regarding Julie he could readily accept and admit to was his feelings of lust and desire, that was normal, he was used to that, not love.

He let her touch his hand, and sighed, he didn’t deserve her concern and kindness, she shouldn’t be worried for him of all people, but she was.

When Rick didn’t say anything, Julie felt dejected, but something else came to her mind. “Rick...why were you so nervous about being touched and hugged in the past? I know your not used to it..but why?”

He gave her a surprised look, and she became flustered. “Ah I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have asked, I-”

“No, it’s fi-fine.” He interrupted, and sighed deeply. “I-I just...I-I-I…” He didn't didn't want to tell her ‘why' yet. “..well..the only time I’ve ever been touched like that is...” He chuckled lightly. “..when I’m fucking, you know, with men, women, whoever I want. Outside of that? Nope, it’s never happened, at least not until I met y-you.”

Julie’s blush deepened when he muttered out ‘fucking’, he was so vulgar! At least she knew he was sexually active, and it made her really jealous, wanting Rick to ‘take her’ too, but she said nothing about it.

Rick still didn't tell her why, and it made her suspect the worst. She did not want to think about the idea Rick was abused in his childhood, she considered it might be true beforehand, and now it seemed even more likely, and she hated it so much. Julie figured that Rick’s parents must’ve been very unloving and unkind, very cruel, unsupportive people. It would certainly explain some of Rick’s other behaviours too, like the fact he seemed untrusting of others and was noted to be violent, he was a criminal too. She wondered if Rick’s parents were also tied to his rebellious nature, thinking maybe they were very strict.

Julie wanted so badly to ask him about this, but decided against it, figuring it was best to wait; she didn’t want to feel like she was being insensitive, or stepping out of line or anything like that.

“I’m really sorry..” She apologized softly.

“No, don’t be sorry, y-you d-didn’t do anything wrong.” Rick told her.

“It’s just..I feel awful for you, whatever the reason you’re not used to any type of affection can’t be anything good.” Julie admitted. “ Is there anything I can do?”

“Well..guess you’ll just have to make me used to it.” He winked. “An-And I’m kin-kinda...starting to anyways.”

She give him a gentle smile at this, feeling glad he was getting used to her affections.

--------------------

After they left the park, they went to a few more places before returning back home. On their way there, Rick felt someone tightly grab onto his wrist, and he turned his head over to see an angry yyorian staring at him.

“I don’t appreciate our planet harbouring a criminal like you, especially not one so notorious dangerous.” The yyorian growled. “It could put our people in serious danger, and I won’t tolerate it.”

Rick rolled his eyes, and forcefully pulled off the yyorian before starting to walk away with Julie.

The yyorian glared at them menacingly, if Rick wasn’t going to listen to him, then he was going to have to do this the hard way. Everyone knew the girl he was with was his weak spot, if he threatened her...well...Rick would have to listen to him then!

He grabbed Julie’s arm and pulled her against him, placing a glistening knife against her throat, while she started to cry. “If you don’t want your girl’s neck to be sliced open, you’ll listen to me, criminal.”

At this, Rick was seething with rage. The only weapon he had with him was his own blade, but that was no problem. Before the poor yyorian even knew what was happening, Rick knocked him in the face, sending him flying. He then grabbed onto Julie, wanting to comfort her, but knowing he had to deal with the yyorian first.

When the yyorian got up, Rick stepped protectively in front of a frightened Julie, his eyes narrowed. The yyorian charged at Rick, who effortlessly stabbed him in the chest, causing him to cry out in pain and fall to the ground.

“Look at you..” He managed to say through the pain, clutching onto his chest. “You’re one of the most deadly and feared criminals in the galaxy and yet...you’ve given yourself a weakness..your love for that girl...it’s funny really..”

Rick had completely lost himself in fury at this point. “I didn’t give myself a weakness!” He yelled defensively as he sliced the yyorian in two.

Julie had covered her eyes with her face, looking away. But when she did uncover her eyes, she saw Rick sitting on his knees, covered in blood….and she swore she heard him sob…she went beside him, and laid a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

-------------

When they returned home, Julie and Rick were sitting on their bed, with Julie cleaning the blood off of Rick, who was looking down, neither saying a word.

Julie thought about the fact that yyorian had said she was “Rick’s weakness”, and she wondered if she really was. He cared about her more than anything it seemed, and he had only gotten angry when the yyorian threatened to kill her, they had also only left Earth because, according to Rick: “We can’t stay here, not when you’re in danger.”

It seemed to really make sense, Rick prioritized her above anything and anyone else, and to be honest, it made her heart soar, knowing he cared that much about her.

At the same time, she felt guilty that others saw her as making Rick weak, she knew Rick didn’t like it, figuring he didn’t want to be seen as weak to begin with. Julie also felt guilty that she couldn’t even fight, she couldn’t defend herself, she had to rely on Rick to help her. She knew Rick’s enemies could take advantage of this, knowing there was nothing she could do on her own, and she needed him. It’s not like Julie could even stand up for herself to begin with either, she was passive and shy. She didn't want to constantly be a damsel in distress that he needed to save and protect all the time, she didn't want to feel like a burden to him, but she was starting to.

“Rick I..” Julie sighed sadly. “I’m...I’m so sorry...I must feel like a huge burden to you and..” She started to tear up. “...and that you must think I’m just a weak crybaby..”

Rick was shocked that she would even think of saying something like that to him. “Julie! Don’t you dare fucking talk about yourself like that ever again! You are not a burden or a weak crybaby at all!”

Julie sniffled a little. “But..I can’t fight, I can’t stand up for myself, and so far, a few people who hate you have already tried to hurt me, and I can’t do anything about it. I have to rely on you..and…” Her crying was starting to get worse. “I feel like I really am a crybaby, that’s what everyone used to always call me growing up..you shouldn't have to deal with me Rick...you really shouldn’t…”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he never thought she’d talk about herself like that. Rick knew now Julie was a very insecure person, lacking a lot of confidence in herself, and it seemed he knew where it came from, she was bullied in her youth. He knew her pain, having been bullied as a child as well, at least they had another thing in common. His anger was completely gone, and he softened, wanting to make her feel better again.

“Julie I don’t see you as a burden, I-I…” He blushed. “I don’t really say this to people but..I-I-I c-c-care about y-y-you a lot o-okay? We’re friends, and I don’t like you speaking so negatively about yourself. I want to deal with you and...look..I’ve dealt with bullying too, but you shouldn’t let that shit get you, ever.”

Rick pressed his face against her cheek, and she blushed too, feeling touched by his words. She hadn’t known he’d been bullied too, but she was glad he could understand her pain. This was only making the feelings Julie felt for Rick stronger, she felt the urge to hug and kiss him, but resisted as best she could.

“Thank you Rick..” Julie smiled. “I tried so hard not to let the bullying get to me, but I just dealt with it so much. The other kids would make fun of my red hair, or call me names like loser, weak, a baby and...as you already know...a crybaby..I’m not strong like you Rick, but I want to try and be.”

Rick smiled back at her, hiding the fact he wanted to hurt everyone who had ever hurt her. “That’s good. I know that shit hurts a lot, I was bullied for my looks too, the other kids would call me ugly, and make fun of my unibrow. I w-was also called things like a freak or a weirdo. At first, it hurt so much, but eventually, I stopped caring, and now I don’t give one single fuck about what people think of me.” He grinned. “A-And I hope you don’t feel insecure about being a redhead.”

“Why?”

“Cause I got a thing for them.” He winked at her, making her face even more red, causing him to laugh.“By the way, it’s kinda amazing you still seem to want to be friends, even though it’s putting y-you in a lot of d-danger.”

“That’s because I care more about you than my own safety.” Julie confessed. “No matter how many times I get put in danger, I’ll always want to stay your friend.”

Despite Rick’s surprise by her response, he was thrilled. He knew no matter what happened, he would always be there for her, and protect her from harm, the feelings he was developing for her also growing stronger.

i just wanted to have at least scene showing rick being protective of julie, i felt the need to.

i decided to acknowledge rick’s pansexuality, it’s kinda important. julie doesn’t even react to rick saying he fucks both men and women, despite being from the 1970s, i guess it just shows how loving and accepting she is.

there’s not too much to say here, other than that i want these to kiss and fuck already! get it over with you fools! i love and hate writing slow burn at the same time.

i also just want to say, i didn’t want their love story to be just “girl saving guy”, not that i have a problem with those stories, but i thought it would be more meaningful if they saved each other.

[obsoletelibrarian]

Hello, friends, family, countrymen!  I am off on a new adventure!  I am trying to keep a better track of this year than the one I spent in Toronto.  I did better in Oxford, so I will try to go back to that dedication.  For those of you who don’t know, my husband Dan was recently offered a position working as an instructor and researcher for ETH Zurich, a position where he will earn a full salary, and also leave in 3-ish years with a PhD.  Not a bad deal!  I always knew he was a smart one.  A real keeper.

Anywho, I am therefore now in Zurich, Switzerland.  We just decided to pack up and leave in fairly short notice.  We had to fly to San Francisco to get Visas, which was a terrible process which involved me at 3:00 am demanding that an airline give me a flight so that their delayed flight wouldn’t prevent us from reaching our consulate appointment, and several other such hiccups.  Especially difficult was the fact that while we tried to prepare to move, I was working very hard to participate in a version of Comedy of Errors in Clement Park, Colorado.  Brutal.

But we have made it!  I have now been here a little less than a week.  It has been about 94 degrees or hotter all week, which is insane, particularly with the humidity.  I feel like I have been just damp forever.  The Swiss spend their summer weekends in the lake and the river, but due to the airline accidentally leaving part of my luggage in Minnesota for the time being, I have no swimsuit.  I just bought the cheapest swim top money can buy, so that I can wear it with Sofi shorts as a bathing suit next weekend, to cope with the heat.

Our new apartment is nice.  350 square feet is more than I thought it was.  Our kitchen is actually quite nice, although the appliances are all half sized!  Food is in smaller portions here anyways, so it actually all fits.  This complex is actually for both students and retired individuals (it is government-run housing).  So our bathroom has a shower seat for a more elderly person than either of us.  There’s also a tiny cot/bed that smells strange.  We only use it for storage.  We sleep on an air mattress we brought with us.  We have a small issue with cockroaches, but it is nothing our boot soles cannot handle (thus far).  The two windows are open until we go to sleep, and we bought a rotating fan to deal with the heat.

Getting settled has been difficult.  The immigration office didn’t want to accept us without our marriage license, which was hard.  I was praying harder than I’d ever prayed that the guy would let us off easy on that one, and he did, so thanks to God for that one.  We still have to have our biometrics taken to get residency, and we are really worried that we won’t get full residency until our current entry visas run out, so we’re just moving as fast as we can and praying for the best.  We got Swiss health insurance, which also took some doing, but was necessary to get residency.  

At the immigration office, we were also mandated nuclear medication, because Zurich is so close to many nuclear sites.  It is a weird thing, and we still have to go to the “Apothece,” or Pharmacy, to get those pills.  This goes with the missile barn (not nuclear missiles, I think it’s just anti-aircraft or something--the nuclear is from power plants) we saw just in the city.  You can tell that it’s a missile barn because of the large “VERBOT” (forbidden) signs and the roof the comes off with a pulley system.  We had read about these before arriving here.

We just got Swiss bank accounts, but it’s taken some doing.  They are really worried about Americans doing illegal offshore stuff out here, so we really had to prove our poverty and good intentions.  But we ended up with the nicest banker of all time, who had learned German and English in the past couple of years, after having to learn Italian first when his family moved from eastern Europe.  His dream is to move to America and become a painter.  He was so nice, and gave us espresso, mineral water, and chocolates on a fancy tray as if we were the rich clients he normally works with.  He did a great job, and I hope he gets to paint someday.

We both bought year long bus passes for the greater Zurich area, which are great.  I hope onto any transportation I want and get wherever I want to go in no time.  Yesterday, Dan was at work, so I went over to the Altstadtt, the Old City, where you can see the Alps across Zurichsee, the big lake here.  I walked around the lake, and also saw more of Bahnhofstrausse than I saw from our banking time.  

I also went to the two old churches in the Altstadtt:  Grossmunster and Fraumunster.  GM was founded by Charlemagne himself, and FM was founded by his grandson, so you can imagine that I was absolutely elated to visit them.  They both have been redone many times, so actually the coolest part to me about each is the crypts underneath.  In GM, there is this ancient medieval statue of Charlemagne that used to be on the roof, but it weathered away too much, and there are these very old drawings/pictures on the wall from medieval times.  In FM, they actually have taken cross sections out of the floors in the crypts, because you can see all the levels of church buildings that have been erected at the cite, from old nun housing to waterways, all intersecting each other with different-aged stones.  They even have parts of columns from the era when Charlemagne’s grandson started the church.  Truly breathtaking.  FM also has a Chagall window, which is just gorgeous.  It is actually 5 panes, each a different color and scene from the Bible, and I just sat in the church, staring up at them and crying, because there is something about that beautiful old church with those beautiful new windows that is holy.

Dan actually couldn’t buy those bus passes before I got here though, because he made the mistake of speaking English at the counter.  They told him, “We speak German here” and turned him away.  Whether it was my meager amount of German (we eventually spoke English at the counter anyways) or our newly stamped paperwork from the Swiss government, it was much easier to get passes the second time.

Overall, we hear, “You are in Switzerland, and we speak German here,” a lot.  It’s like karma for every USA person who has mocked someone who speaks Spanish.  The older man in the apartment next to us told us that right away, and then explained the rules of the apartment complex, eying us warily.  He took us to the mailroom, and asked us where the name “Hammerland” was from, sighing that “you never could tell where people were from, nowadays.”  At first, I was worried that he didn’t like us at all, because we were Americans.  But he warmed right up to us, and now I believe he is the best friend we have out here thus far.  He gave me a book of German “Weisheit,” or wise sayings, and a card to get into Fraumunster for free (it is normally 5 franc).  He also has given us tips for everything from fashion to tourism to life.  His English is excellent, because in the 60s and 70s he was part of the music scene in New York.  After that, he studied Renaissance art and music in the Sorbonne!!!  How cool is that?!  

Dan hasn’t met many people at school thus far, but that’s because his group mates are on a trip, and he is going to get to hang out with them much more when they get back!  And we did make some friends at church.  We went to the IPC, the international protestant church, where they speak English and are very welcoming.  They offered us friendship and help, and one of them attends Dan’s school in the chemistry department.  Additionally, the assistant pastor’s wife is from Colorado, with family in Minnesota, she left her career to follow her husband here, and her name is Jenna.  It was such a relief to have a person who understood me well so immediately.  So we think we might make some friends here.

Dan and I have been having some good adventures, finding good places to buy groceries (the main stores are called Migros, Coop, and Denner, but boy, are they all expensive!), walking by the river and seeing all of the people in intertubes or swimming in the dammed sections, seeing art in the Wasserkirche (the Water Church), and trying to adjust to the very cheese-and-small-bits-of-bread diet we have out here (Dan has to adjust.  I think I’ve been eating Swiss accidentally all along!).  So things are starting well, despite some setbacks.

Some things you may not know about Switzerland, because I surely did not:

1) They don’t believe in air conditioning.  Ever.  They only have it in supermarkets and banks (and some busses, but rarely).  So most stores, churches, and our apartment are approximately a billion degrees at the moment.  And sticky.  Swiss women (especially the elderly and pregnant) all carry these white collapsible fans with little flowers painted on them in the Swiss style, and the bus is filled with the sound of little fans going back and forth.

2) The Swiss are all SO TAN.  Every single person has a golden summer glow.  I am about eight shades whiter than anyone here, which definitely sets me apart.  Dan looks much more like a Swiss person than me, but he dresses American so it is a dead give away.  Luckily, in public, I keep being mistaken for a Brit (unlike poor Dan who has been really lashed out at for his USA heritage), which is overall less of a problem than being an American.

3) Pretty much all bottled water is sparkling, or “mit gass”

4) It doesn’t look like pictures.  Most of Zurich is a bunch of concrete apartments, trying to fit as much as possible into the smallest space.  It reminds me a lot of London in that way--there are beautiful old buildings, but a lot of the city is just overcrowded and overbusy.  I kind of like it, though.  The bustle reminds me of Toronto.

5) They don’t get married in Switzerland.  People hardly date, but if they do fall in love, they just live together until they die.  People literally cannot comprehend me and my situation when we explain it.  Get married?  And then move somewhere without a job prepared, simply because of a partner?  As one person curtly informed me when I suggested it, “Well, the Junge do not do that here.  Here, we are all supposed to function.”  That has been a little disheartening.  Only that other Jenna at church understood my predicament.

6) The healthcare isn’t free.  Indeed, we will be paying quite a lot for it.

7) There are no taxes on food!  What you see on a pricetag is what you get!  Huzzah!

8) Swiss croissants are called “Gipfeli” and are delicious

9) Swiss German is a cross between half of the world languages, I feel like.  There are signs in French talking about hair stylists, advertisements with English puns, Italian menu items, and weirdly almost-German greetings.  When you meet someone, you say “Gruezi,” and when you bump into someone you say “Ӓxcusi,” and if someone bumps into you, you say “Scho guen” (it’s all good).  None of these things is German, but they are all quite Swiss.