#I KNOW WHAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE
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more insane thoughts about life seires skizzleman coming up
okay so as I continue to sit in this basement and every wall is nothing but thumbtacks and red string, I am slowly losing even more of my marbles. As in, I have a lot of scattered thoughts about Limited Life and I'm about to share these slightly insane ideas with all of you. Please enjoy, as I'm starting to run out of red string and I might die if I do.
Skizz being The Dove/A manifestation of peace or something insane like that idk man I'm punching the wall:
Okay, hear me out on this. In my previous post about Limited Life (The Skizz and Number 3 one yes this is a link), I talked about how technically, Skizzleman could be considered a Dove. Y'know, a symbol of peace. The last warning before everything truly goes to shit. Skizz very much prefers negotiation and deals over violence and all that, man chooses to be kind. Not out of naivete, but out of a pure will and want.
He has ONLY killed with justification he's never just...killed. And every time he's tried to kill without reason he has failed spectacularly and probably also died. Like, take Jimmy and Cleo from 3rd Life. Skizz killed Jimmy because he was an active threat to The Red Army and because the Red Desert had been antagonizing Dogwarts for a while. It wasn't something against Jimmy, it was more against the Red Desert itself. He later spares Scar by changing the bargain to "Give us the banner and we'll leave you alone" instead of just straight-up murder. Because he had already taught the Desert enough, there was no need to spill more blood. Cleo is even easier to understand. Cleo attacked Ren, Skizz's king and the guy Skizz was THE most loyal to during 3rd Life. Of course, Skizz acted in defense of his king and took Cleo out. And he also spared someone this time too. Bdubs. He let Bdubs take Cleo's stuff back. There wasn't a need to spill more blood.
Then we have the latest of his kills, his Bdubs kill in Limited Life. An honor duel. Skizz had been wronged, knew that it was going to get in the way of future alliances, and was looking for revenge, but he still made sure it was going to be clean with no resentful feelings afterward. Then after killing Bdubs he made sure to make it up to the man with not only a very sweet compliment but a golden apple as well. By doing this, by cleanly ending his feud with Bdubs, TIES were able to complete a very promising-looking alliance between them and The Clockers.
Skizz only sheds blood when he has no other option. When it's better.
And then there are the times he's tried to kill without reason but he's just, failed. Horribly. He died in 3rd Life by mindlessly charging into the Crastle, failing to kill anybody. He got no kills in Last Life because when he turned Red, he was just running around trying to kill people once again, mindlessly. Or in service to another, in one instance. And he died in Last Life almost the exact same way as in 3rd Life. Charging an enemy like a wild beast and being put down. Skizz just can't get a kill when it's out of pure bloodlust and a wish for revenge.
And that's what makes Skizz a Dove. He only kills in instances when it is needed. He's not a symbol of peace because he's a perfect little pacifist who never wants to hurt anyone, no. He's a symbol of peace because he unintentionally and intentionally acts as one of the biggest forces of it. Not only choosing mercy for enemies who pragmatically should have been taken out but also killing those that push for war and conflict whether intentionally or unintentionally. And when the Dove tries to strike like an eagle, the Dove dies. And with it, peace dies. After Skizz died in 3rd Life there were no other forces for even a negative peace between Dogwarts and the Desert Alliance. The rest of it was all just a bloody war. After Skizz died in Last Life, the Wither was summoned, forcing the remaining players into groups. Red names and Non-red names. They fought bloodily too until both groups rotted away slowly.
And do you wanna know something even crazier? The ones who were present while the Dove was put down, would go on to be 2nd and 1st in survival rankings. Grian killed Skizz in 3rd Life while Scar was there for backup. Grian won and Scar was second. Ren killed Skizz in Last Life with Scott as a backup. Ren came second and Scott came first. And it makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, the two who witnessed the death of peace would, in the end, turn on each other. It makes sense. IT MAKES SENSE.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.
One comes first...the other comes second. Those are the only numbers above three. three. T H R E E. NO. NO THERE'S MORE BLOODY EVIDENCE FOR THE STUPID CONNECTION BETWEEN SKIZZ AND THE NUMBER 3. I. I WANT TO CRY. WHY. WHY AM I STUCK IN THIS DUMBASS BASEMENT JUST MAKING MORE AND MORE AND MORE CONNECTIONS FOREVER???
AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE.
Because if you buy into the "Skizz as a symbol of peace or whatever" concept...it makes Limited Life make even more sense. Y'know how some people have been saying "Oh Skizz is inheriting the Canary Curse from Jimmy!!!". While this is valid, I think my utter insanity has, at least in a little way, proven that Skizz himself is cursed in some way. Or blessed even, I don't know at this point. But instead of taking Jimmy's curse, it could be that his curse as a peace guy who's doomed to be the server's final warning is just showing up earlier. Because it could be that this time, peace dies quicker than the coalmine can kill the canary...because if you know you have limited time... what's the point in keeping the peace? Nothing is gonna matter anyways, your time is so obvious that it's unavoidable. That ticking in your brain isn't just a vague feeling you sometimes acknowledge. It's loud. It's unavoidable. You can't close your eyes, the digits are inscribed inside your eyelids. You can't cover your ears, the ticking keeps on like the beating of your heart. With such limited time, why waste it on trying to maintain order and peace? Why put so much energy into compromise when everyone is gonna die soon? In the other series, you don't know how much time you have, so you try your best to buy as much of it as possible by maintaining some semblance of peace. In Limited Life, what's the point? The consequences don't matter, because you KNOW your time is limited. It's all around you.
And so Skizz, the man possibly most aware of their limited time, the man who's trying to use that time to be nice, to not make enemies, to be as peaceful as a man in this series can be, is the one who's on track to die first. The Dove, the peace, the will and want to choose kindness and care when cruelty and selfishness are so much easier to justify, is up for slaughter.
Once again, Skizz is not a peace symbol because he's a perfect little guy. He's not a peace symbol because he's always nice, or innocent, or a pacifist. He's a peace symbol because he has only spilled blood when he had no other option and made as many amends as he could to minimize the pain afterward, he's a Dove that only pecks you if you burn the olive branch in its beak. He's a peace symbol because he actively chooses to push for it, to truly believe in the good of others even when that has gotten him killed or exploited many times, not because he's stupid or naive, but because that's what he does. He's a peace symbol because, without him, the series enters its final and most bloody crescendo.
Y'know, I know Skizz started to be drawn as an angel because he's best friends with Impulse, and Demon/Angel best friends are a killer thing. But maybe we accidentally hit some pure gold there by mistake. It fits too well, doesn't it?
Or maybe I am just actually losing all my marbles and I'm never getting out of the red thread basement.
You be the judge and jury on that, dear reader.
#I KNOW WHAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE#oh tumblr user el eluminium is ranting and raving about skizzleman again? must be a day ending in y#BUT LOOK I MIGHT HAVE JUST STRAIGHT UP EXPLODED#BIG BOOM#I DON'T CARE IF I SOUND LIKE I BELONG IN AN OLD SCHOOL MENTAL HOSPITAL ANYMORE#THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!!!#dose of skizz#skizzleman#limited life#limited life smp#3rd life#3rd life smp#last life#last life smp#limited life spoilers#life series spoilers#trafficblr#life series#my writing#author is going insane and also crazy#shoutout to milkpulse gang for dealing with my nonsense
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[Toon x Mobster] A tender moment.
[Animation timelapse here!]
[AUDIO USED:] Chet Baker - Almost Blue Sound Effects edited by me!
#toon x mobster#jack desmond#gavriel huffman#original character#original characters#original character art#oc#ocs#oc art#oc animation#oc animatic#I made a little animation about them because I was craving it#I needed to see these two being soft and very loving towards each other#HEY YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS REMINDING ME#it's like one of those videos back in the early internet years with fandom characters being animated by fans kissing each other HAHAHA#2012 aesthetic <3 two anime/game characters being animated kissing and everyone either screaming from loving or hating it#ooohh those were fun times..#again. I had so much fun with the sound effects [YAAYY I MADE THEM REAL ARE YOU SEEING THAT I DID THAT]#I'm so proud of myself [took literal hours browsing through sound effects with tears slowly sliding down my face]
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can i be your tail?
#genshin impact#gaming#chongyun#my art#i love lion dancers!!!!#so happy theres a lion dancer in the game#he deserves a partner so they can to the cute puppy sit blink blink head scratch#(sounds like nonsense unless u know what i mean afjhkj)#i like their color scheme they look cute das it thats the vibe
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Okay so I may have been struggling under a miscommunication issue
#My coworker heard I took a day off for a migraine and said oh I get those all the time#And described what sounded like a regular headache#So I dont know if I actually have migraines more than I thought or if she just doesn't know what a migraine is#She was like#'They've only ever had me bedridden once though'#And I'm here like#Girl every migraine has me blind and bedridden that's what a migraine is#Otherwise it's just a sparkling headache#So wtffff#Help#emetophobia tw#I think?#Headaches#Migraines
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sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.
#and i know that sounds silly like YES. it was just a bookr ecommendation#but i feel like a lot of people either dont really care about whats a good starting point for younger kids in their shared fan spaces#or dont really take the care to recognize different peoples ages would effect what they would both enjoy or#be capable of engaging with#not to mention theres a lot of manga that would NOT have been appropriate for a 10 year old to read#so the fact that he askedd and even asked what sort of thing i liked at the time#was very sweet. i think about him a lot and i hope hes doing well#txt#scratchpost
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I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
#i know this sounds like the 'bad guy falls for good guy' which can be fun but thats not what i mean#anyway. this wasn't quite zukka but i do think it aligns with my au of zuko not dying on the throne and sokka retiring his sword to paint#and living like piandao in the mountains. urging zuko to retire and zuko no longer needing fire bending and not knowing what to do with#himself if he doesnt have to fight#so he uses his bending to make tea instead :)#aka this is how divorced zukka can still get together#zuko being upset bc sokka chose work over them in the first place but so dodnhe#but he gets a second chance in retirement#if he can give it up
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i think what pisses me off the most is that last year, nobody had trouble going against russia. companies dropped everything so they could keep russians off their sites, to block them from their news articles and to sanction in other ways. eurovision kicked it out. even steam, discord, any fucking western apps or websites have been so willing to perform in ‘activism’. musicians and celebrities speaking out and country-blocking their work, and so much more. but now what? where is all of that now for israel? where are all the brands leaving the country to ‘protest’? where is anything? what pisses me off the most is that none of them have actually really cared about ukraine, ever, and none of them care about palestine now.
#palestine#like that one post said. it’s all just performative and saccharine#i know this is not my typical genre of post but the hypocrisy is actually maddening . and what happened today is so awful i don’t know how#anyone can stay quiet#also i know this post makes it sound like the sanctions were last year only. but no they’re still on going#because of course they are
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i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.
most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.
it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.
and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).
i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.
grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.
#warm up#writeblr.#i am not going to personally comment on the pineapple debate#some things are too big for me.#maybe we could have everything on earth choose their own names.#wouldn't that be fun#it is a creative writing exercise. okay. ily#''why only these languages?'' ..... bc i dont know every language#sorry :(#PLEASE leave me comments about what words u think are correct. i love learning them#btw! this isn't saying these are the most BEAUTIFUL words for it... just the words that are the most CORRECT#like i quite like the word ''keynote'' as mentioned. it's got a lot of fun sounds in it.#but it is not CORRECT.#''gloaming''' is interesting and fun and poetic but it is NOT correct . evening is MORE correct#but less beautiful.#does that make sense?
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team fortress 2 finally getting rid of the bots after 5 years
work on the team fortress 2 comic continuing after 7+ years
half life 3 development looking more likely than ever with legitimate code, file, and voicework leaks referencing a new non-VR single-player game from valve featuring a HEV suit wearing protagonist and Xen creatures and concepts
shoutout to the valve fan that found the genie lamp. you a real one
#liz blogs#valve#team fortress 2#tf2#half life#half life 3#what did i say. what did i fucking say.#once again the impossible becomes commonplace#valve exists as a company to walk into the gaming industry. slap their dicks on the table. and yell THIS IS HOW ITS DONE#and the gaming industry has never been in a more sorry state than it is now. maybe second only to the 80s i think. something something ET#in b4 its called Half Life Xen as all the files reference ''hlx''. hl3 fakeout. but its another half life game.#half life 3 has been ''made'' multiple times in various states but its never been up to standards. whatever this project is though sounds l#like its very far in development. maybe they didnt give up this time#ive never been closer in my life to actually saying half life 3 confirmed. its not confirmed but its looking really good for once#crazy year to be a valve fan i'll tell you what#its only the actual objective most anticipated game of all time. no biggie#edit - added a link for the comic news for those who dont know. and the bot bans havent been announced in one place anywhere#but you can literally just look it up on youtube or twitter. valve has been mass-banning bots for the last month. fixtf2 worked
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bunch of portraits
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#nanami kento#choso kamo#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#fanart#crying im so tired....#busts aren't hard on their own but 8 of them ???#i should have stuck at 6 if i knew what was good fr me#but lucky fr choso n yuuta enjoyers i dont know whats good fr me and tacked on the extra 2 last minute#i did a bust piece waaay back in 2020 early jjk days and it was this crowd minus choso/yuuta so i wanted to like. do a kind of redraw#im happy choso n yuuta made the cut tho they r fun they look as tired as i feel#i've been having a lot of fun w the more semirealistic skin render so i wanted to stretch those muscles a bit more#took the better part of 3 days but u know i'm pretty happy w these i dont think i have a hard least favourite#fun game guess my favourite characters based on how i draw them it is Glaringly obvious 2 me#ik i said i dont have a least favourite but i certainly have A Favourite#uhhhh misc notes i tried rly hard to make sukuna's face look like yuuji's and only rly change the expression#i think i was successful??? i hope?????? like i didnt want to make him look like his own person as bad as that sounds#he is Wearing Yuuji that is Yuuji's Face#also i rly . wish there were more women . but as much as i like maki as a character i fr some reason don't find drawing her very fun ?#so nobara out here pulling her weight fr the girls my goat my queen <333
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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters#if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime#i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy#he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say#(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth#everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess#also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences#tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago#frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else#<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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remember when gideon gave harrow a little kissy on her forehead and harrow made a sound that embarrassed them both. what was that about
#most ppl are like what is happening politically thematically cosmically etc#meanwhile I'm like what do these lesbians think about each other#what kind of sound did harrow make#I need to know#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#gideon x harrow#harrow x gideon
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Thought the people who were impressed by That Photo would like to know he does this kind of shit all the time
#gabriel medina#surfing#olympics#paris 2024#brazil#c: surfing#p: gabriel medina#t: fanvid#brasil tag#briefly got on here and the gifset of that one wave popped up again on the dash with 6k notes now#and most people on there are clearly under the impression that it was a one-off so i thought i'd make someone's day with this#(the first part of this tag sounded rude i think? but idk how else to phrase it. obviously no one is expected to know stuff like this)#(but if surfing has caught your eye this olympics i can't recommend it ENOUGH that you look this man up)#it's 3am here so i'll be back tomorrow to rb stuff about what happened today + yesterday 🫡
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Humans are Space Orcs: Melons.
Okay, hear me out. Humans are omnivores, and this is widely known throughout the greater Galactic Alliance. They have insane tolerance to things most would consider poison, and can eat just about anything deemed nonlethal by most other races (there are, of course, some exceptions).
Anyway, there's no need to wait for an animal to be ready to eat. Sure, a deer that's too young or too old won't have as much nutrition, but there's nothing stopping you from eating it. Fruits and vegetables have to grow and ripen before humans can eat them, and are often determined ripe based on color and size.
Now imagine, if you will, an alien crew visiting their human's home in Earth during the summer. Some of them are drastically overheated and have to stay in the ship, while the more heat tolerant species are out and about with the human at a grocery store.
"Human- I mean, Sarah, your parent mentioned requiring a 'watered melon's for the third meal, yes?"
"Watermelon, Chi'l'zak, but yeah, Dad did ask me to pick some up. Why?"
"Well, there appear to be some over there to choose from."
"Oh, nice spot! Let's see here..."
And the alien's watch in as their human picks up the biggest melon in the pile and observes it for a moment, presumably checking the color, only to smack the large fruit, frown, and set it back down.
"Hu- Sarah, why did you put down the fruit?"
"It's just not quite ready yet." The human picks up another melon, smacks this one a few times, and sets it down.
"But I thought these 'grocery stores' only sold ripe foods?"
"Well, everything here is technically ripe, but that doesn't always mean it's ready. I mean, the avocados they sell are ripe, but they aren't usually ready to eat. They don't taste as good, or they're too hard. You just have to know how to pick your produce. Ah, here we go!" A few smacks to a new melon, and Sarah looks pleased. The melon doesn't appear any different from the others.
"How are you certain that one is the best? It is colored the same as the other fruits, and is smaller than some. Surely this fruit isn't ready, as you said."
"Of course it is, Chi'l'zak. Here, listen."
Sarah smacks the watermelon they'd picked out a couple times, then smacked the first melon they'd picked up. "See? They sound different. That's how you know this one's good."
"But Human Sarah, those sounded exactly the same."
"No they didn't."
"Well, how were they different then?"
"I dunno. They just don't sound the same."
They ended up bringing home the ready and unready melons to display the difference. Anthropological notes were updated that night in the ship's log.
"Ripeness of human fruits: Some fruits on the human Mother Planet can be identified as 'ready to eat' by sound. The preferred method seems to be to smack the fruit known as 'melon' with an open appendage and listen. While most of the team were able to notice any significance between a ready and unready melons, human participants were able to easily distinguish ready from unready melons and select accordingly."
#just kinda hit me how weird it is that we tell melons are ready by slapping them#i know what a ripe melon sounds like compared to an unripe melon but i couldnt explain it if i tried#it feels like one of those things you just know#humans are space australians#humans are space orcs
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