#I KNOW THIS IS SUCH A NON ISSUE BUTS SO ANNOYING TO ME

[silent-sanctum]

During sdc Kakyoin notices that reader and Jotaro like each other but they’re too oblivious to realize it, so he acts as a wingman.

Hello dear anon! Sorry it took a while to fulfill this request but hey, your request has been written ^^. Oh just to add in a lil something, I've written another request that's similar to yours, so maybe you'd like to check it out as well! Hope you enjoy~~

Playing Cupid - Jotaro x Reader

word count: 2k+

Kakyoin wasn’t the type to be invested in romance. The genre didn’t pique genuine interest from him due to the majority having a plot that involved someone getting paired with someone else and nothing else.

But just because he isn’t one to indulge in romantic content doesn’t mean he’s completely naïve to real-life chemistry. Most especially if the main characters so happens to be two of his close friends- one being a closed-off punk and the other an outspoken gal.

The second you stepped into the scene with utmost confidence and a flustered Jotaro in tow, he could detect the invisible spark between the two, with how the both of you would bounce off of each other’s energy seamlessly without the presence of friction. It’s as if all the bickering, subtle touches, and subconscious choice to stick together came naturally.

And Kakyoin would have enjoyed watching these two people get together... if it weren’t for the obvious hesitation present between you two.

From the delinquent’s part, he could understand. Jotaro wasn’t one to be expressive or open to anyone about his emotions. Everyone had to see the miniscule changes to his face, body language, and gestures in order to know him better on a deeper level, and no one could do that better than you and your keen observation skills towards people.

However, Kakyoin was more confused when it came to your part. You never seem to hesitate when you want something in mind. You often butted heads with numerous Stand users, constantly spoke out to the older adults of the group when you had something to say during the mission, had no issue with dealing conflict between parties as an assertive peacemaker.

But he couldn’t figure out why you couldn’t blurt out a simple confession when it was clear as day that you had feelings for the young Joestar.

It’s not like Jotaro would decline your approaches when he didn’t mind whenever you engaged with him in every opportunity you had. Kakyoin could tell from the way he would look away with a natural blush on his cheeks, the rare smiles he’d show, and the efforts he placed to be around you when he wasn’t the type to do that with others.

You two were into each other but both of you were two idiots that were too oblivious to see that.

So Kakyoin had to put things into course the best his single ass could do.

In certain situations when he found himself in the middle of you two, he’d offer up some excuse to leave you two alone or even suggesting the pair be together during area explorations, in hopes some extra bonding could get you two somewhere.

Alas no progress has been made and he started devising.

The first plan he had in mind was to get either you or Jotaro to think of the other, fueling each other to the point of letting out their inner sentiments. He wasn’t the best at the initiating conversations like you or Polnareff, but he did improve ever since he joined the gang.

He deployed his idea to action and...

“So I’ve noticed you’ve been sticking by Jotaro’s side more often than before. Mind telling me what’s all that about?”

You widened your eyes and flushed a faint pink. “Ah it’s nothing. I just find it more familiar when I’m with him, since you know, he’s the first guy I became friends with among all of us here.”

“I see, but you know what else I’ve noticed?” Kakyoin placed a finger under his chin with a thoughtful expression. “He’s been extra attentive to you lately.”

“O-Oh? You think so? But maybe that’s just because I’m a girl. You know how he is with the non-annoying females...”

“I don’t think so. He wouldn’t waste his time looking after the wellbeing of someone he doesn’t deeply care for. Hell, he’s been doubling his gestures for your happiness and security during the one time you were gloomy.”

You let out an antsy laugh, turning away from his gaze. “Er- He might just be doing those things since I’m his first long-lasting friend and all- Oh! Would you look at that!” You abruptly stood, faking a look to your watch. “It’s about time I meet up with Pol and Avdol!”

---

“Hey Jojo,” Kakyoin said as he sat on the chair adjacent to the relaxing teenager. Everyone else was out exploring the new area, leaving him the opportunity to talk. “Up for a chat?”

Jotaro let out one approving grunt and he took that response as a “yes”.

“Take this with a grain of salt, but you’ve been unusually close to Y/N these days,” he said that prompted the other to look at him with a pointed glare. “I mean I don’t blame you. She’s a delight to be with and I frankly would say I’m impressed by how you’re spending time with her-”

“What are you up to Kakyoin?” Jotaro cut him off, arms crossed.

“Well you see... I’m curious why the always-reserved-and-no-time-for-bullshit Jotaro Kujo is often hanging out with a girl who’s the polar opposite of him.”

“It’s none of your business,” the delinquent said with no hesitation. Another inquiry was about to slip past him when the other stood, tipping his hat over his face before walking off.

Though Kakyoin could still see that faint red in his cheeks that appered every time you were brought up.

He wasn’t sure if Plan A worked well. The main reason why he doubted it was because the two of you still remained the same as before, albeit with a hint of bashfulness now mixed in.

At this point, it became lowkey frustrating to see you two pining for each other without acting on it, but at the same time, found it lovely to watch you be lovey dovey towards the raven-haired, with the latter softening his demeanor at your every interaction.

Desperate moments called for desperate measures. Plan B arose and this time, he had help.

The guy looked like the type who would indulge in the concept of love. It might be because he came from a place known for romance, or maybe it was naturally ingrained in his system. He did know his ways on how to appeal to the female locals with a semblance of suave.

It would come to no surprise if he had an idea on how to pair you together.

“Pol, I need your help in something.”

The Frenchman busied himself with styling his silver hair up, but he glanced at the cherry-haired student with a smile. “What might that be?”

“You know Jotaro and Y/N? They’re kinda... into each other-”

“And it’s annoying that they’re not together yet! Oh my god, finally someone who shares the same feelings I have!” Polnareff dropped his comb to turn to Kakyoin.

“Right? That’s why I need your help.” He placed both hands on the adult’s shoulders. “They’re driving me crazy.”

“Say no more friend. I will do the best that I can.”

Plan B was put into action which ended up in Polnareff doing most of the work with Kakyoin in the side helping out with the minor mishaps.

The adult did what he did when Plan A was still a thing- had a long chat with both parties... but with extra steps. Unlike his straightforward approach of simply chatting, Pol’s tactics involved getting the person in a preferred activity where he and they could hang out in. Only then when they’re eased into it will he initiate the chat.

Kakyoin couldn’t tell the difference between their approaches but he trusted the older and hopefully wiser person in the room.

But Pol did what he did by taking you on a casual date on a nearby cafe, treating you with food and drinks before having the “friend talk”, while he offered the delinquent quality time for smoking around the corner, only for him to somehow transition into the topic of teenage crushes. Kakyoin helped in convincing them to go with him as part of his contribution.

By the end of the day (or rather the week), not much had changed similar to his efforts of trying to get them to confess, but the Frenchman had assured the bright-haired student to “give it time” and it’ll all fall into place.

Kakyoin didn’t know what he meant by that but he knew better to doubt a hopeless romantic.

Weeks passed and by this time, they just defeated another enemy Stand user and they thought they’d give themselves a small break on a small island where Avdol stayed, waiting for the submarine Mr. Joestar acquired that will transport them to Egypt.

Night came and the crew had just finished supper and now off doing whatever they felt like doing during the resting period. The cherry-haired stood by Polnareff the entire time, discussing matters about the updates of the latter’s plan. According to him:

“If my idea goes through, expect him to enter into pondering mode sometime within tonight. Then, we approach him and offer him ‘the advice’”

“Polnareff, you’ve been saying the exact same thing for the past few days.”

“I know, I know! But hear me out! This night is a moment where all of us are resting. Because there’s nothing much to do, Jotaro has no other choice but to retreat into his head and think, and what else is there to think about other than all of my chat about Y/N?”

“His mother's life?”

“W-Well that too, but also the success of his possible love life.”

Kakyoin would have given up with his so-called advice and perhaps even his whole plan of pairing you two... if it weren't for the envisioned scene happening before their eyes- you sat beside him the whole time until you excused yourself and left, leaving Jotaro still in his spot hunched over and deep in thought.

The Frenchman nudged his side and with a wink, he cocked his head towards the delinquent’s direction, muttering “advice time”.

So they did exactly that with Kakyoin being the one to open up first followed by the adult. In the end, you returned and led the poor confused guy into the forest.

Both Kakyoin and Polnareff were left speechless on their seats as they realized that all this time, they were too hyperfocused on Jotaro’s response that they didn’t consider how you would respond to the whole chat Pol stirred up.

After all, you were the more expressive between the both of you. It made sense and the cherry-haired teen didn’t know why he forgot about that minor tidbit about you.

“Do you think they’ll finally figure it out?”

“I really hope so. I’m getting tired of them just walking circles around each other.”

Few minutes passed and they hadn’t returned from their private talk. Polnareff had retreated to slumber land but Kakyoin stayed awake with his curiosity getting the best of him.

He crept through the bushes, toeing over fallen leaves and twigs to not cause any noise. To his knowledge, there was only one scenic spot in Avdol's place and he was willing to bet that you discovered the area as well.

With the path in mind, the teen continued trekking forward until he could see a break in the line of trees.

He reached his destination with admirable stealth and hid himself behind one of the wider trunks. With caution, Kakyoin leaned over slowly to get the glimpse of success.

On the gentle incline of the clearing, he found you peacefully napping with your body blanketed with his black gakuran, laying across the delinquent’s lap and your head situated on his shoulder, while the latter smiled to himself with a new glow to his face as had his eyes closed and his arm placed behind you to support your weight.

And to that, Kakyoin could finally put his goal to rest and actually allow himself to rest as well.

Guess playing cupid with the Frenchman was something he could again in the future.

[siriannatan]

Touch Starved - Arknights

I apologise to all my non-arknights followers but goats got on my mind once more

References for any interested non-arknights players: Ebenholz Lessing

I was too tired to think of a better title so it might change at some point, but here are some points that were important to me while writing for this 1. They deserve to be horny teens 2. I need more badass moments for Lessing 3. I find Fremont shutting Voice of Terra/ Mundane up just for a few weeks - in essence being unable to actually remove it - is funny (plus he deserves to be humbled for cussing near Lessing, I will try not to imagine this boy's vocabulary range) 4. Horn logistics are hard

Lessing and Franz's friendship was far from normal. They argued and butted heads - sometimes pretty much literally - constantly. They'd often end the day eating separately. Stewing in anger just to ignore whatever they argued the next morning. But they never ended like this.

Pressed against the heavy wooden desk in Graf's office. Luckily it was cleared of day's paperwork before their argument started. Ebenholz half-sitting on the desk and half clinging onto Lessing. Hands loosely resting on Graf's hips as... they kissed. Made out really. All because Lessing wanted to shut him up. And that led them to the Graf's bed and things that went far beyond the scope of their relationship.

It was still on rambling in his brain after a rather awkward week of being confined to the spire due to almost non-stop rain. He had no clue how to stop thinking about it. Ebenholz was objectively very attractive with his clothing on. Naked? Even with the crystals of oripathy marring the almost perfect skin of his dominant arm and some faint scars of the stressful life of being the last surviving relative of the Witch King... He was more of a piece of art than a person. But that might be the more poetic (more Leithanien) part of Lessing's brain speaking.

A sudden, fast and short knock on his door had Lessing almost physically jump away from his inappropriate thoughts of his friend and technically employer. Thinking it's a maid with some sudden update to Ebenholz's schedule he didn't bother with a shirt. The Spire staff preferred talking to him over interrupting Ebenholz's evening so most maids were met with him in a not suitable for chatting state of dress. Muttering what they needed him to know, avoiding looking before scurrying off. But it was no maid.

Outside his door, shuffling awkwardly was no one else but Graf Urtica himself. Ebenholz with just his silk pyjama pants hanging low on his thin hips. A blanket draped over his shoulders. Hair loose from the usual ribbon holding it tightly together. Lessing was half convinced it was a dream. At least until Ebenholz looked up at him with those magenta eyes with his usual, ever-present annoyance, distrust and sternness not present.

"We need to talk," Ebenholz said, pushing in past Lessing before he could ask for any explanation.

"Can't it wait until morning?" Lessing grimaced, just then realising his wandering mind's fantasies caused quite obvious in his own sleep pants issue.

"Nein," Ebenholz shook his head, ebony curls calling out to Lessing for his touch, like some siren song from fairytales. To feel the silky smoothness once more. To pull to coax tiny moans and gasps from the proud Graf. 

"What's so important then?" Lessing asked shoving down all the inappropriate urges. 

"Week ago," Ebenholz started as he discarded his blanket and to Lessing's shock pushed up against him. And Lessing stepped back. Until his back hit the door. "I can't stop thinking about you," he sighed, but not in an annoyed-by-the-fact way. It could only be called 'dreamy sigh'. Hands exploring Lessing's chest. Barely caressing, as if he was ready for Lessing to protest at any moment.

"Okay, let's talk first," Lessing decided and practically carried Ebenholz to a couch by a fireplace, neither of which he ever used but the latter of which he quickly started. With the help of Ebenholz snapping his fingers to start the fire faster. "So what brought it all out?"

"It's back. The old man didn't remove it, not fully at least," Ebenholz said quietly. "It's quieter around you for some reason," he carried on, one hand finding Lessing's arm to just be there, keeping contact with a pained expression twisting his pretty face.

"So you want to sleep with me because it'll shut the Witch King up?" Lessing sighed. So much for hoping Ebenholz might actually... not that he ever have such hopes.

"Partially," Ebenholz confessed, suddenly climbing into Lessing's lap. "But mostly because you're frankly hot despite your soulless expressions," he pushed back the hair almost always covering the right side of Lessing's face to kiss the jagged scar there. "You're very distracting herr Lessing," he smiled and proceeded to pepper Lessing's face in feather-light kisses. Stopping right at the corner of his guard's lips. Lessing hesitated for just a second before closing the distance. Just for a brief moment since neither of them really breathed properly in the last few minutes.

"I'm shocked you lasted a whole week," Lessing chuckled, head spinning slightly as they parted to catch a breath.

"I had to do some... research," Ebenholz muttered into Lessing's shoulder, shuddering as Lessing gently ran one finger down his spine.

Touch starved. He thought bitterly. Though he probably shouldn't be shocked considering the Urtica family's history. Ebenholz's personal history. Lessing didn't mention it. Instead deciding to play into the current mood. "So you should have an idea what you'd like to try, no?" he asked, gently squeezing Ebenholz's thigh. Just barely not touching his ass.

Ebenholz squirmed in his lap. Gasping as Lessing gently scratched the trail he previously traced along his spine. 

"We already did it before, there's no need to be shy. Don't you always say I'm boring? I'm sure you've read some interesting things," Lessing teased, his nails travelling back down along Ebenholz's spine. Just to lightly scratch at the base of his tail.

"Ri...you" Ebenholz barely mumbled as his spine arched into Lessing.

"Louder, mein Schatz, I didn't quite get it," Lessing hummed but did stop teasing Ebenholz to give him a second to properly respond.

Ebenholz was silent for a moment. "I want to ride you..." He finally said. Still quiet but Lessing got the whole thing now.

"Good job," Lessing praised and gave his Graf a brief kiss before getting up with him still in his arms. Ebenholz yelped and flailed to grab onto Lessing. "I think the bed will be better for that," Lessing decided and carried Ebenholz to his bed. 

"Bit of a warning next time," Ebenholz mumbled as Lessing carefully lied him out on the bed. "You're not..."

"I'm not letting you do this before you're prepared, I'm not that mean," Lessing shook his head. "Would you rather do it yourself or have me do it?"

"You..." Ebenholz said, blushing deeply. So cute, Lessing thought before leaning in to kiss him.

As he pulled back Lessing realised something he totally missed since he moved into this room. His mirror, which once more he rarely used, was in a perfect spot, the corners of his mouth rising slightly as he met his own reflection. "There's something I'd like to try," he offered as he pulled Ebenholz's sleep pants off.

"Mhm, sure, but what?" Ebenholz asked curling up. 

"Would you look into the mirror," Lessing hummed as he gently guided Ebenholz to look at the mirror, "while I prep you?" he finished his question.

Ebenholz was silent for a moment. A worryingly long moment. Lessing was ready to be called a pervert or something. "Sure," he finally said but avoided looking directly at Lessing as he let his pants fall to the ground. "Thank you," he said and gave Ebenholz yet another kiss. "Just one more thing," he hummed.

Lessing quickly turned on the nightstand lamps and turned off the main light of the room. For the mood, he said when Ebenholz inquired while settling to kneel comfortably with a good view of the mirror. 

"Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are? Well, no one else probably ever saw you like this," Lessing smiled, very slightly but he was sure Ebenholz caught it in the mirror even with the low light.

"Only a few times, more than likely lying, right before trying to kill or kidnap me," Ebenholz huffed but practically melted as Lessing pressed up against his back. Bare skin against bare skin.

"A shame, you are really pretty," Lessing chuckled as his hands freely explored Graf's chest, stopping just to tease his nipples. "Really, really pretty, especially your eyes," Lessing for once let himself voice his thought as he gently pulled Ebenholz's hair to make him look at the mirror. Ebenholz tried to shake his head but Lessing tightened his grip on the ebony locks. "The prettiest person I ever saw," he said with a bit wider smile.

"F-fine, if you say so, just please, stop teasing me," Ebenholz's blush was impossibly dark. Voice shaking but his magenta eyes stayed on the mirror.

Lessing could not help but move on with a request worded like that. "Be careful with your wrists," he warned as he let Ebenholz support himself with his arms. Leaning forward ass sticking out. "And no holding back noises, no one's supposed to be around at this hour," he added as he quietly slicked his fingers with lube. Whoever thought it'd be funny to put that in his drawers might have had future sight. Or just thought everyone his age had only one thing on their mind.

Well, with Ebenholz around how could he not let his imagination go wild a little bit? But even when he dared let it go as wild as his imagination could he was nowhere close to this. Soft, marred with a few old scars skin shifting as the Graf moaned as Lessing slowly pushed one slick finger in. 

Quiet, slowly louder and louder moans and whines had Lessing's ears twitching in an attempt trying to not miss even the slightest noise.

"I almost forgot, if I'm worried you're too far gone I'll call your first name if you need a break..."

"Witch..." Ebenholz chuckled between moans. Lessing joined for a brief moment.

"Good job, you say that and I'll stop and check on you," he praised, kissing any skin he could reach. Ebenholz's neck and shoulder. He kissed lower and lower until he was certain any marks he's leave would be easy enough to hide and bit down.

"Genug... Lessing... Bitte... It's enough just..."

"Are you completely..." Lessing groaned. Ebenholz was too pretty for even him to fully control himself. 

"Ya, ya, completely," Ebenholz nodded far too eagerly as Lessing pulled his fingers out. 

"Verdammt, Franz slow down, we have to be able to walk tomorrow," Lessing hissed through gritted teeth.

To his credit, Ebenholz did a couple of shaking breaths before speaking again. "Ya, though... I'm not sure..."

"We can save your fantasy for tomorrow night when you're not this desperate or something," Lessing shrugged. "Try something else you can think of." It was a challenge to focus on anything with Ebenholz Leaning on him.

"We can carry on like this but with..." he hesitated but Lessing remained silent. Mainly too stunned Ebenholz could speak like this at all. "...with your cock..." he shockingly finished in one breath and quickly moved on. "You should be able to hold me up with these strong arms, no?"

"Do I even want to know where you learned to talk like this?" Lessing asked as he quickly got himself ready.

"Books, and later," Ebenholz's explanation made sense. Graf Urtica did not have much chance to experience much. 

"No complaining anything hurts in the morning," Lessing warned one last time

...

Some time later, after a bath, in Ebenholz's room. Mostly because the Graf was too impatient for Lessing to clean the bed... Lessing lay on his back, slowly dozing off with Ebenholz cuddled up to his side, one arm and leg tossed over his guard. His other arm folded under a pillow holding his head up to stop any accidental horn injuries.

"What kind of books do you have in this tower?" he could not help but as he felt that Ebenholz was not asleep. Mostly by a delicate finger tracing some of his scars. Not something most auditing students, even of Ludwigs-Uniwesitat could boast. But not all of them had the 'honour' of being Fremont's aide. 

"I had to quickly... source some I remembered from the book club on Rhodes Island... Some operators thought it'd be a funny initiation to lighten the mood, younger members were not present at that particular meeting," he chuckled dryly and yawned. 

"I better void them, with all the vocabulary old man made me familiar with..." Lessing sighed. Ebenholz chuckled at that. Well, his own mouth could at times rival the old lich. "We should sleep, Guten Nacht, Franz," he yawned and closed his eyes.

"Guten Nacht, Lessing," Ebenholz yawned back shuffling as close as physically possible. 

Maybe having to duel every nearby noble with what could only be called a toothpick compared to his usual sword. No hate on anyone specializing in that kind of blade, just not something he's used to. Was worth the hassle. He'd think on the traditional uniform of the head guard of the Graf Urtica. 

_______________

I might at some point decide to write a follow-up chapter just to stuff Lessing into a formal uniform... Pls, Arknights give him one as a skin.

Thinking about it now. Did Fremont pick up Lessing as his helper because of his family's connection to Witch King's family? Probably not since they were just attendants but it would be funny if he picked him up just to train him up to later push him onto Ebenholz like 'Here take this one, you look like you need someone to remind you to eat'.

[taesenigma]

fix you | p.jm (pt. 1)

pairing : rich player!jimin x poor abused!reader (not by m. lead)

genre : strangers to friends to strangers to lovers, lovers au, angst, smut

trigger warnings : daddy issues, non-con (sometimes) bullying by m. lead

summary : does love last? can it be turned into hatred? can it be something so precious that you regret letting go of it? can you fix it?

-> 01 | 02 | 03 | Epilogue

m.list

winter 2013 : freshmen year

you sat on the bleachers, swinging your legs as you doodled in your sketchbook. you weren't bothered by the lack of company on an especially cold winter day. after all, you had your favourite company - your sketchbook and music. what else did you need? "hey, is this seat taken?", a boy about your age asked of you while you merely shrugged in response and scooted far away when he sat too close for comfort. you paid him no attention as you continued sketching some mindless art for which you'd definitely receive no appreciation from your parents. but who gives a fuck about what they want!? "want one?", the boy asked you as he pointed at a pack of cigarettes. "thanks.", you said as you tucked it inside your coat pocket and resumed doodling. you decided that it would serve the purpose on the sculpture you were carving to submit at the exhibition. "aren't you gonna take a swig?", the boy asked as he looked at you with an inquisitive gaze. "i don't smoke." "too bad. or else we could've been smoking buddies." "i am suddenly glad that i don't smoke.", you said as you stopped doodling and sparing him a second glance, walked away to find a semblance of tranquility away from his incessant questioning. "avoiding me isn't going to help you!", he yelled as he you kept walking.

spring 2014 : sophomore year

"i prefer this one over the others.", that same annoying guy butted into your shopping at the convenience store as you stood in front of a row of different types of ramen. "i don't remember asking for your opinion, boy." "damn, grandma! i've got a name!", he joked as he breached your personal space. "not interested. and our tastes clearly don't match.", you said as you picked whatever you needed and headed over to billing. "always the cold shoulder, huh? how long are you gonna pretend to not like me?" "i actually don't like you. you're not someone i'd hang out with, given a choice." "you don't mean that! everybody likes to hang out with me!" he clearly looked offended at your statement and that seemed to be a tiny victory in your heart, even though it was pretty insignificant to revel in. "that'll be ₩2500." you handed the cashier the exact change and left the annoying guy behind. lord only knows why he was so desperate. weirdo.

*****

you entered your home only to hear raised voices coming from the kitchen. you sigh as you proceed directly to the backyard. "serin!", you whisper-shouted as you tried to find your younger sister. "unnie....i'm here.", she whispered as she emerged from behind the bushes. "did they scare you again?" "appa is drunk again and eomma is mad because he lost his job today. i think she's going to leave tonight.", your sister confides in you as you hug her close. "i'll speak to eomma. for now, let's get to your dance class. everything will be fine once you return home.", you shushed her as you both quietly left the house. "do you think appa is a horrible person?", she asked you. "um....he is a person with a lot of problems and no solutions. he's a good person beneath all this." "then, why does he hate us so much? i heard him say how he wished we were boys instead of girls. do you think he meant it?" "that was just his anger speaking. he of course doesn't mean those words! you're his little princess, after all." "and you unnie? what are you to him?" serin's question took you by surprise. you couldn't remember a time when he referred to you as anything other than a mistake. "unnie?", serin's voice brought you back to reality. "sorry, serin-ah. i'll come pick you up later, okay? i love you!", you yelled after her as she proceeded behind the glass doors.

*****

you rushed towards the dance class location, trying not to let your injury hamper your progress. "darn it!", you cursed as you limped to the building, only find it under lock and key. you felt anxious as you looked around. "unnie!", your sister's voice reached your ears and you turned around to find your sister running towards you. "where were you!? i was so worried!" "some gang members had caught hold of her and were trying to exact your father's debts from her.", an annoying voice you'd recognize anywhere reached your ears. "and i suppose you were there along with them!", you flared up. "unnie, he rescued me. he's my hero! is he your boyfriend?", your sister asked inquisitively. your face turned red, the previous accusation fresh in your mind. "i....thank you. for helping my sister.", you said sheepishly. "no need. did you know, our siblings are friends. who would've thought.", he mused with you as his brother emerged from behind him. "jihoon is your brother!?" "yup. jihoon, say hi to noona." "its alright. he doesn't have to.", you say embarrassed as you tried to leave. "why don't you join us for ice-cream? the more the merrier!" "um....", you looked at your sister who looked eager. you finally relented as you all made your way towards the nearest store. it was going to be a long afternoon.

fall 2014 : sophomore year

"hold up, y/n!", jimin's voice reached out to you as he slung his arm around you. "hands off, player.", you said as you walked ahead to your locker. "have lunch at the cool table today? my hyung's are dying to meet you." "no thanks. i'm good without the extra attention." "damn, you really hate the spotlight. what if i say i'll protect you?" "have no need of male protection.", you said as you walked away with an eye roll.

*****

"y/n, right?", a cute brunette guy stopped you after class. "yes?" "i wanna get to know you better. sit at the cool table with me.", he asked but sounded more like an order. "not that type of girl." "do you even know what my type is?" you rolled your eyes as you tried to leave, but was blocked by a blonde dude this time. "why don't you quit your tough girl look and comply for once in your fucking life." "why don't you mind your own fucking business, asshole!?", you said as you pushed past him into the hallway. what weirdos! you decided that you'd knee them in the face next time you saw them.

*****

"bitch, get me more money!", your father shouted as he hit your mom in front of you and your sister. "eomma!", serin cried out as you tried to shield her from your father's anger. "fucking slut, sleep with anyone and get me some money! you!", he yelled at you as he dragged you by your hair and slammed you against the kitchen cabinet. "tell me where the money is! i know you know! i know it!", he said as he gripped your arm tightly. "appa, i don't know! we don't have any money! we gave you everything!", you said while you bit on your lower lip trying not to cry. "fucking bitch! slut! i saw you with a hot boy! he looked rich! ask him for money! get it anyway!", he yelled at you as he left the room in a huff as your sister ran towards you and hugged you. "eomma?", you both crawled towards her as she lifted her bloody face to look at you both. "y/n-ie, don't do anything stupid. i'm going to ask my boss for more money.", your mother said as tears streamed down her face.

*****

"y/n, what are you doing here?", jimin asked you as you stood in front of his apartment at 3 in the morning. "jimin, do you want to sleep with me?", you asked him bluntly, face devoid of emotion. "what the fuck, y/n! its three in the morning and you come to my apartment offering me sex!?" "the question is do you want to fuck me or not. and pay me for it. use me like you want to." "y/n, you're clearly not in your right mind. come in and sit. i'll make you some coffee." your sudden offer scared jimin. it was not untrue that he did not dream of ever sleeping with you. hell, that was the reason why he had approached you at first. he liked you. too much. and he wanted to make love to you, not fuck you like the other girls - devoid of any feelings for them. he made you coffee and offered you a dry shirt, shorts and a towel to get changed. he's got to admit to himself that you wearing his clothes was the hottest thing he had ever seen. they reached up to your knees and left a lot to the imagination. "um.....now, mind telling me what's going on?", he asked trying to push away the image of you underneath him. "its nothing. i just want money, i guess." "you don't need to sleep with me to get money. we're friends. i can always lend you some." "i am not some charity case, jimin! and we are definitely not friends! we look weird together! the rest of the school doesn't think we're friends! only you do!" "do you think we're friends?", he asked in a soft voice as he looked at you. "doesn't matter what i think." "it fucking does. its a simple question. do you think we're friends?" you shake your head, knowing that no matter how much you wanted to be jimin's friend, you did not exist in his world. "do you really mean that?" "i do.", you steeled your heart, trying not to show the pain on your face. jimin took in a sharp breath, closing his eyes. "so, just fuck me and give me money. that's all i want from you." "why should i? girls throw themselves at me, money or no money." "all but me. don't tell me you've never dreamt of sleeping with me. isn't that the very reason you approached me in the first place?" "y/n....you want money, right? what for?" "to spend it on mindless things, of course! its human nature to crave money. desire it." "the truth, y/n.", he said in a cold voice. you sigh as you look outside the window. "i need money for my dad. he's going to kill my mother, or else.", you admit in a small voice. jimin closes his eyes as he lets his feelings wash over him one last time. then, he pulled out a cheque and handed it to you. "take it. i don't want to sleep with you. we're no longer friends. i never want to see you again.", he said as he left the room and shut his bedroom door with a loud bang. tears streamed down your face as you picked up the cheque from the table and left the apartment. you felt cheap and dirty. but most importantly, you felt heartbroken. alone. you didn't know you'd miss the feeling of another person this much. you had no idea.

fall 2015 : junior year

last year, jimin had ignored you. he had completely iced you out and you had nobody but yourself to blame. "miss y/n, here's your schedule. have a good junior year ahead!", the receptionist said cheerfully as you headed to your homeroom. you realized once again how lonely you were. no friends to talk with, no people to share summer stories with and no one to invite you to parties. "may i sit here?", a soft voice asked you as you looked up to find a gorgeous girl staring at you. "um....just so you know this is the social pariah table.", you said. "don't mind! i'm a transfer student and my accent's gonna make me a pariah anyway.", she said as she plopped down on the chair beside you. "name's anastasia. what do they call you?" "apart from crazy, witch and stoned? y/n." "i like your sense of humour! we're gonna go well together!" "tell that after you've stayed here for a week or two. mingle with me and not even your transfer student card can save you here." "whatever. show me around school at lunch!", she said as she jumped away to whatever class she had next. you sighed as you picked up your bag. school sucked and you wanted out. "watch where you're going loser!", one of the guys from the football team shoulder bumped which led to you losing your balance and falling on your ass. you could hear camera shutters go off and you tried to get up from the ground quickly. "don't you guys have anything better to do?", jungkook, the captain, asked as he offered you his hand. "i'm fine.", you muttered as you gathered your bag and tried to leave but found your way blocked by someone. looking up, you saw jimin staring down at you while the rest of the boys stared you down. "excuse me.", you said as you tried to walk past him. "you were pretty rude back there. don't you think you owe my friend an apology?" "for what!? not accepting help when i clearly didn't need it!?", you burst out as you pushed past him, angry tears adorning your face. fuck him for having power to make you cry like this. its time you got over him and started living.

not a week later, anastasia dumped you for....let's just say cooler girls. high school sucks and so do rich wannabes. but it wasn't a huge difference from your usual. except the fact that jimin and his goons bothered you less frequently as the year progressed. perhaps they were finally bored of their childish acts. maybe you could finally take a breather for the time being.

[to be contd.]

[legislacerator]

i haven't really had a chance to make an updated post about buying rocks/minerals/crystals online (i made one like over a year ago but holy shit i know so much more now and my tastes are very different) but i do wanna stress something really important to anyone buying rocks online from etsy, ebay, mineral & crystal retailers, or individual seller's websites:

check the god damn dimensions of the piece you're buying before you buy it.

almost every seller i've ever purchased from has it listed right there in the listing -- some even post pictures of the piece in someone's hand or next to a ruler to give the buyer a good idea of what they're getting. and yet, without fail, there are negative reviews left on the shop's page from people bitching because it "looked bigger in the picture" and it drives me absolutely crazy because nothing these poor sellers do seems to be enough -- i swear some of these people only look at the first picture in the listing!

when you're buying minerals, rocks, crystals, etc online you need to understand that some of these sellers take professional mineral photographs for their listings -- they use high quality cameras and the pictures are very high res. this leads people to assume -- especially people who don't know vey much about mineralogy -- that these pieces are like, palm-sized or something. and they're not. and even if none of the photos indicate size the listing will almost always give the exact dimensions of any piece being sold, and people just don't... read it, i guess, or can't visualize how small it is.

a part of the problem is probably that people are introduced to collecting stones through the acquisition of quartz, agate, fluorite, and labradorite, etc -- common stones you can buy even fully polished and the size of your palm for under $20. with the popularity of metaphysical spirituality and crystal collecting being so relevant right now a lot of the people branching out and buying rarer and more unusual stones have no concept of the stone's growth patterns, rarity, or size.

so as a general rule -- if it's not one of the aforementioned common stones, take time to check the listing very carefully for the dimensions and actually get out a ruler to visualize the size of the piece you're purchasing or listing you're purchasing from. i personally have a ruler app i use to see how large or small a piece will be so i am never disappointed. at this point i always err on the side of expecting the rocks/minerals i buy to be smaller, and it works out nicely when they're bigger than i thought. the ruler app i use has cm/mm next to the inches -- 25 mm/2.5cm = 1 inch. it can be hard for americans to visualize or remember what sizes actually denote in mm/cm -- which is also a part of the problem -- so please start checking the listing for the dimensions and get an idea of the actual size of the piece before you buy it and end up disappointed

again, the price of quartz is not nearly universal for all stones. a high quality palm sized quartz point is typically around $100 -- a piece of tourmaline (minus schorl/black tourmaline) that size is at least $1,000.

stones like black tourmaline, fluorite, calcite, chrysoprase, amazonite, selenite, obsidian, sodalite, aragonite, fuschite, amethyst, tigers eye, black kyanite, jasper, labradorite, and even common versions of gems such as sunstone, rhodochrosite, moonstone, garnet, lapis lazuli, and aquamarine you can find in pretty large sizes for pretty reasonable prices. ALWAYS check the listing, but when looking at these minerals it's reasonable to assume you'll get a piece at least 1 inch long.

on the other hand: green/pink/bicolor/blue tourmaline, opal (especially opal with flash), translucent blue aquamarine, green/blue/orange kyanite, vanadinite, kunzite, danburite, wulfenite, charoite, pietersite, gem rhodochrosite, and peridot are usually much, much smaller than you're imagining, and if you're paying under $20 it's probably a thumbnail specimen under 1/2 inch (12-13 mm). be aware of this -- these are stones i commonly see people complaining about being the "much smaller than the picture suggested".

with that all being said -- if you mess up and realize a stone you purchased is tiny when you thought it would be larger, go back and check the listing. i would bet you anything the size was listed right there. please, PLEASE do not leave a negative review or complain to the seller publicly (or even privately)!!! if it's smaller than you thought that was YOUR MISTAKE, not theirs.

there are a lot of hardworking, reputable sellers out there getting backlash, negative reviews, and being demanded refunds because people are just too lazy to read the damn listings and don't know enough about the rock/mineral they are purchasing to realize how small it would normally be for the price they are paying

stop wasting the time of online rock and mineral shops because you didn't know what you were getting into. come on.

[writingdotcoffee]

How I Use Highlights in Writing Analytics

I've been using the highlights feature in Writing Analytics a lot recently, and it's helped me eradicate a few annoying bad habits. Every time I write a word or a phrase I'm trying to use less, the editor highlights it straight away. That makes me aware of the mistake, and I can rephrase the sentence.

In this post, I want to share my setup and a few tips on how to make the most of this feature.

What are Highlights?

In Writing Analytics, you can tell the editor to highlight words and phrases of your choice. You can choose a colour for each one. The editor will show these as soon as you type them in.

To set them up, click on the menu icon in the top left corner, then Highlights. A window will pop up where you can add your highlights.

When you're done, click the X icon to close the window and go back to writing.

The Idea

Every writer has a few words and phrases that they reuse way too much. Over time, you develop a spidey sense when you're writing these. How many flipping times have I used 'if' in this piece?

The problem with that is that it's often wrong. So many times I've gone back during revision to search for the offending words to find out that there was just one. If I knew that when drafting, I wouldn't have to be anxious about it.

Loads of tools do grammar checks or help with line-level edits — like Grammarly or ProWritingAid. The problem is that they give you all sorts of weird suggestions from their algorithm that you don't want to see. Like this one:

Custom highlights give you the power to decide what you'd like to see highlighted so you can target specific issues rather than doing everything at the same time. You can focus on the issues you're struggling in your writing.

My Setup

At the moment, I use the highlights like these for pretty much every session:

These will highlight most bad adverbs, passive voice and words that I'm trying to use less (if, but, and, should).

Adverbs

The *ly highlight is a wildcard. It will match all words that end with ly. It's not perfect — some words that end with ly aren't adverbs (and some adverbs don't end with ly), but it's good enough most of the time. It makes hunting for pesky adverbs so easy.

I prefer using orange as the colour for this highlight. Sometimes, I want to keep the adverb, or it's a false positive. Orange is pretty easy on the eyes.

Bad Habits

My personal bad writing habits include over-complicated sentences — ifs, buts and shoulds. I also use and way too much sometimes. I'll search for these during editing, but Having a highlight set up means that I can catch them while drafting.

Of course, these aren't bad every time, but I want to know when I have four buts in one sentence so I use the red colour for these.

Passive voice

Even though I use passive voice sometimes, I want to avoid it wherever possible. Based on the tense I'm writing in, I usually include some of these highlights for passive voice:

There is/there are

When writing non-fiction (like blog posts), I use these way too much. For some reason, I almost always fail to spot these during editing 😅. It's like they're invisible to me.

Creating a highlight makes finding them super easy.

Narrative flow

When writing interactions between characters in fiction, I'll often highlight the character names and their pronouns. That helps me figure out how much space each character gets on the page.

It's also a fantastic tool for visually checking that the pacing of your dialogue isn't way off.

Final thoughts

Highlights work great when first drafting or revising (if you prefer not to make any edits when first drafting). Use them to work on your bad writing habits or target common issues in your drafts. Then you can focus on the more complex issues when you do a full read-through.

Want to give this feature a try? Writing Analytics is free for the first two weeks.

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

Omg yes I hate how twst does the whole “you lose even if you win cause plot”. It especially got to me in the Beans event and I almost stopped playing cause it was like an epic battle and the hardest fight in the game and when you finally win you’re like “yes omg I did it! I can’t wait to see the cool final battle it’s gonna be awesome and intense!”

And then it cuts to after the battle and they’re like “aww damn we lost” like???? You’re telling me not only did we fight for nothing WE DON’T EVEN GET TO SEE IT?? It’s soooo annoying

YEAH, like, why do I need to grind up my strength if it doesn’t matter?? The only fights you actually win are the boss fights. The STRONGEST CHARACTER OF THAT CHAPTER YOU BEAT BUT YOU CANT BEAT REGULAR FIGHTS??

Like I’m on book 4, I literally fought scarabi students six times and ended up ‘losing’ everytime even I beat them easily. Then I ended up at the Mastro Lounge, and Jade and Floyd protected me. Like, if I can’t ‘win’ a fight, why would I fight?

ALSO YEAH, WE LOSE BUT WE DONT SEE IT?? Like??? Wth, my cards aren’t weak I literally have everyone above level 40 and I use type advantages…

But also, I’m pissy about the events, this is the first one I’ve ever played (the stupid ghost bride one) and I hate the story it’s genuinely revolting. If genders were swapped everyone would be pissed but because it’s a male being abused by female, but that’s ok because the lil bitch that hit him is a woman? NO ITS NOT OK. ITS NOT FUNNY.

Everything about this event I’m hating, I’m not even interested in the cards I just collect things, but also, it’s annoying that I can’t ‘loop’ battles but I only get 2 event items a fight and the cheapest thing to buy cost 30, it’s tedious and done intentionally to make it harder to get said items so you don’t ‘finish’ the event before they are done posting it…

I stopped playing not long after the game came out because I always ‘lost’ and was constantly insulted and talked down to, even by my ‘friends’ which isn’t normal. Yes, some people playfully insult their friends but being called ‘A useless human’ is not playful. It’s also kinda bad because…that’s basically speciest since all the non humans say it…

I only recently started playing again souly bc I’m simping for have the cast…

Disney knows how to made cute/interesting creatures, but it seems like the didn’t plan for a player in the video game?? Cuz like?? You’re barely acknowledged. I know Jamil hypnotized me, and I know you can’t oppose him when he’s doing that so I was forced to say yes, why even give me the option if I’m already forced? Why give options if literally none of them matter?

Then there’s the issue of the jp version being for more updated then the English version and there’s quite a few bugs in the game and the AI isn’t the best.

I mainly enjoy the ‘lessons’ and ‘guest room’ which I can’t play bc I’m American…

I understand it needs to be translated, but…it took 3 years for them to even release an English adaptation…

Don’t get me started on the mirrors, I’m beyond pissed, gotta pull 100 shitty cards I already have for ONE ssr+? That makes no sense and I’m being punished?? For playing the game??? That’s the main way to get cards and it fucks you over for trying to get cards so you can play the damn game. At least obey gives you free pulls, the cheapest option is to pay actual money.

Disney is greedy, technically obey me is greedy to as they’ve had ‘pay to play’ things, buts not the only way, those exclusive cards for events. This? This is just regular ass cards, most of which are useless since the are the ‘starter’ cards…

[candlelightreader]

Ok I binge watched Castle (never watched when it aired) and I have QUESTIONS! And yes, OTP Caskett for life right here no ifs, ands, or buts.

Already rewatching right now, but here's what I don't get:

- the fuck was that last season? I binge watched I cannot imagine what it would've been like to wait week after week while that mess unfolded.

- season 8 again: did Castle truly believe she was leaving him for real? And she let him? I just really was confused and thought he knew there was something up but that he played along. Completely nonsensical

- whole disappearing for two months was so fucked I can't even express myself. And the explanation makes no sense. Period.

- frankly, I love this show except for the parts I don't. But the suspension of disbelief necessary in it just made no sense. I am never one to jump out of a story, I'm usually happy to go with the flow. but are you seriously telling me that there are no defense lawyers out there who throw the cases out because Castle is in on interrogations and is at crime scenes? But maybe that's me. That's not the biggest one. The biggest has to be the extent to which they keep allowing these cops to investigate their own cases or cases where there's a clear involvement or what can be qualified as conflict of interest. Not even talking about the whole Beckett's mom thing. That at least was mostly rogue. Just talking about (for example) Castle remaining on the case when his rich buddy's wife was killed. Or when Espo is allowed within arms length of that case with his thief of an ex. Like, come on! Is there no internal affairs in this universe? (Other than the one internal affairs cop that was the villain, of course.)

- Castle's mom was too good for that show! No I'm kidding. I just loved her.

- Alexis devolving into a normal young adult was a bit jarring after she had been such a wise and unusual teen whom her dad had to bribe to be bad. I guess as he dad grew up she allowed herself to be a child?

- OK back to Caskett. What stopped them being together at the beginning? Nah this one is not serious. But the tension sure was nice yet excruciating. I would've loved them to explore what happens when he's super famous and she's super famous by proxy. Just wouldn't have objected to seeing their lives as a couple, solving crimes by day, being glamorous by night. I hate that his fame seems to become a non-issue later. Why couldn't the Nikki Heat movie be a hit if that actress was supposedly a hit? And who played Rook exactly? We see everyone else but him.

- oh another illogical thing. I get Castle signing away his life in the second episode. But it just never made sense that Beckett has him as partner but essentially has no back-up with him. (Who backed her up before he showed up btw? Espo and Ryan have each other. Aren't detectives supposed to have a partner?) He is unarmed all the time and is just a liability. Bringing me to how they never have him being shot which is annoying to my hurt trope loving self.

- that first/fake kiss? ... ya ... got nothing there

- fuck Josh.

- fuck Demming too, though I'd give anything to see/hear about how he takes the news of C and B being together

- why was she so PDA heavy at the precinct when she was with Demming and Josh, only to have that nowhere to be seen with Castle? (After they are out)

- fuck Gina too, kinda. I have less hate on Castle's exes or lovers only because we actually get a sense of who they are and we see they insignificant and a way for him to pass time while waiting for Kate to make up her mind. But Beckett's lovers are just there to be hated by Castle. There is an inconsistency in how much the audience gets to know them. Josh is a man doctor with a bike. That's all we know. Like she ordered him on cliche dot com. So ya, I get the show is Castle's, but then don't show the fight room scenes with Beckett but then have her get together and dump Josh both offscreen. He was just there to annoy Castle and push him that one time!

- for a writer he just couldnt use his damn words could he? Why didn't he just tell her he told her he loved her instead of acting like toddler about it?

That is all for now. Had to get it out. Excuse me now as I go seek out fanfic.

[chaoticspacefam]

The Lana Shipping Meme!

This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom​ who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3

Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.

Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?

Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D

Do they make jokes together?

Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:

Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised Saarai: Why didn’t you say something? Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this? Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more.... Lana: Good. I still love you, though. Saarai: :’D

Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you? Saarai: Yeah, probably.

as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P

Who’s hornier? (who initiates)

Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk

Kinkiest they’ve been?

Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla

There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏

Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?

In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.

Favorite non sexual downtime activity?

Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.

Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?

So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3

Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?

In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.

Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.

Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏

Lana was mortified, to say the least XD

That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?

Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;

Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.

The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?

There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one

1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)

2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!” Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢

How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)

For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.

For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD

Do they have kids?

Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD

What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?

I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :( But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D

House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?

Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3

Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?

They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.

Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?

They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)

But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, “okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D

Class Specific things that play into their relationship?

Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D

When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.

Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)

Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?

"Kriff. Koth, what happened?” Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”

That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.

Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do

Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”

Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao

Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?

Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD

Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.

Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?

Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)

When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜

Story that is prominent in their relationship?

I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq

I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii. Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3

[wayward-mikaelson]

Winter's Doll-Chapter Eleven

Word Count: 2988

About: Bucky find out about Nadia and Thor leading to bickering during a mission

Characters: Nadia, Bucky, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Tony (mentioned), and Thor (Mentioned)

Pairing: None

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Training, Mentions of one night stand, Bickering, Injury, Blood,

A/N: Getting closer to the end of Series One of this fic!!!! Yes there were be a sequel but I still need to plan it out before I can write it down.

This piece of work contains work made for the 18 and up crowd. Please read at your own discretion. Please do not copy and paste my work anywhere, you can reblog and share the links of my post. This work is cross posted onto WattPad and AO3 under the same title. Links to all my other social media can be found in the pinned post on my profile. Feedback is welcomed!

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Marvel Tags: @soccer-100000

Winter's Doll Tags: @supernatural-love14 @loudlylovingalpaca @kingkhibas

Bucky/Sebastian Tags: These tags are open

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Chapter Ten

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By the time Nadia is healed from Bucky’s night terror attack, the team was preparing for a mission. A mission that didn't involve Nikola Alekiev, which for Nadia was a breath of fresh air. For the last few weeks, Nadia had been consumed with every little detail of her brother's last few years of life. She rewatched his vlogs, directing what she could. Seeing if there was something she had missed. Seeing if there could have been some sort of secret message hidden that only she could find.

But there had been nothing.

Nadia sat in the training room, her hands were wrapped and prepped for the punching bag before her. Bucky stood beside the bag watching Nadia. This was to see if she was fit to go on this mission. Both physically and mentally. Per Steve's orders and Bucky was there to help Nadia out.

"You're lost in thought," Bucky took a step towards her. "Wanna know how i can tell?" Bucky knelt down and fixed one of Nadia's wrapped up hands.

"Oh," Nadia simply said. She had even realized she drifted off and messed up her wrapping. She had been doing that a lot. Probably why Steve wanted to see if she was fit. "I'm sorry."

Bucky chuckled. "Don't be," he looked up at her and smiled. "You have a lot on your mind. There," Bucky stood up and looked behind him. "You sure you're up for this mission?"

Nadia huffed and glared at Bucky. "You too? Really? I thought you were on my side and helping me."

"Nadie," Bucky slowly said. "I am, but from an outsiders point of view, it looks like you aren't capable of handling a simple mission."

Nadia took a deep breath and stood up. Bucky was right, she really wasn't in the right mindset for any of this. But she also needed something to distract her from anything Nikola related. Nadia also knew she needed to put it aside for the time being.

"You're right," Nadia moved in front of the punching bag. "But, I need a distraction. Clear my mind of anything related to Niks last moments. Even my parents." Nadia took a firm swing at the bag.

Over the last couple weeks, Nadia's parents were non stop calling. They'd call any chance they'd get, at any given time of day. It was getting pretty annoying and Nadia had told her parents that when they call, they disrupt work but did they listen? Nope. They took advantage of the situation they were in. Which was a crappy situation.

“Mama,” Nadia told her mother that very morning. “You and Papa need to stop calling. I’m being serious. You’re disrupting work and training.”

Nadia’s mother huffed over the receiver. “Well, Nadia, there isn’t anything to do here. When will we get to leave and go back home? I miss my bed. I miss the little shrine area I made for your brother.”

“Mama! Stop,” Nadia was close to losing her shit. “If you don’t stop calling I will disconnect every wire in this compound to give my team some peace. Now will you please put Clint on the phone, I have to talk to him.”

Once Clint was on the phone, “I don’t know where she’s getting the idea that there isn’t anything to do here,” he joked. “She loves to be around the kids.”

“My mother is dramatic, Clint,” Nadia sighed and put her head on the counter. “If her or my dad give you any more issues or whatever, tranquilize them.”

Nadia hit and kicked the bag, while Bucky held it in place. He really didn’t need to, Naida really wasn’t beating the shit out of the bag, just enough to let out some steam and frustration. It was what she needed, and she didn’t know why she didn’t think of it before.

“Okay,” Bucky pulled away from the bag. “This isn’t going to help prove you're ready for the mission.”

“What?” Nadia was breathing hard.

Bucky didn’t answer. Instead, he gripped Nadia’s arm tight and spun her around until she was flushed against his chest. Slowly, he brushed the hair from her face, not showing an ounce of emotion. Before Nadia could comprehend what had just happened, Bucky spun her back around until he had her in a choke hold, with both his arms. The hold wasn’t tight, but tight enough to keep Nadia in place.

“What the fuck, Bucky?” Nadia started trying to get out of his grip.

“Easy, Nadia,” Bucky’s voice was neutral and firm. “Do what you need to, to get out of this.”

Nadia stopped and thought about what she was going to do next. She knew she couldn’t throw her head back and hit Bucky’s face, his arm was protecting it while holding her in place. If only she was able to reach the bobby pin in her pocket. Why did she have a stray bobby pin? She didn’t know why, just that there was one in her pocket.

“Do I need to walk you through this?” Bucky asked after a moment.

“No,” Nadia grunted. “I got this.”

Nadia dived into her surroundings. She couldn’t use her upper body due to being held tightly. She really couldn’t use her hands cause they were pinned to her sides by Bucky’s arms. Which was smart honestly. Nadia was only left with her legs. She pictured the way Bucky was standing and found that his stance wasn’t the best.

With a small chuckle Nadia said, “Brace yourself.”

Before Bucky could say anything, Nadia kicked a leg towards his unstable one and pushed out from under him. The two of them fall backwards, causing Nadia’s head to smack right into Bucky’s face. Bucky groaned and let go of Nadia, giving Nadia enough time to roll off Bucky, only to turn around and straddle him and grip his neck.

Bucky stared at Nadia in surprise. “Wow, um, that was unexpected.” Bucky somewhat was expecting to be knocked down, but not Nadia sitting on top of him. Oh the times he’s imagined what it would look like and now, there she was with a grip on his neck and a firm look in her eyes.

“Next time give me a warning,” Nadia let go and got off Bucky. As much as she loved having her legs on either side of the man under her, she couldn’t stay much longer. The moment she felt the slightest bit of arousal, she had to get up. “So,” Nadia gave a smile and crossed her legs together, hoping to ward off the ache that was slowly creeping in. “Did I pass?”

Bucky sat up, trying to let go of the imagine that was now embedded in his mind. “Um,” Bucky started to say. “Yeah,” he shook his head and stood up. “That was good. Really good.”

Nadia noticed that Bucky was acting a bit weird. “Are you okay?”

Bucky turned towards Nadia. He knew he couldn’t tell her the truth, it’d probably freak or weird her out. “You have a hard head, kind of gave me whiplash or something.” Bucky smiled and winked at her. “I’m going to go let Steve know that you’re up for this.”

***

“Wait, wait,” Wanda sat down on the couch next to Nadia. “Back up.” She waved her hands around with her eyes closed. “You what?”

Nadia had quickly found Wanda to tell her what had happened. Wanda, knowing just about everything about her little crush on Bucky. When she told Wanda about what had happened in the training room she just about coughed on her drink.

“I sat on him,” Nadia felt her face burn up as she said the words. “Oh, God.” Nadia covered her face. “Of all the things I could have done! I straddle one of my good friends?! Why, why, why?”

Wanda scooted closer and took hold of Nadia’s hands. “Nadie,” Wanda’s calm voice had Nadia looking up. “One, it was a training exercise. Two, I can already see the things you wanted to do to him.”

Nadia groaned. “Wanda, no, please?”

When Bucky left Nadia in the training room, Nadia couldn’t help but think about the things that she could have done to him. Obviously, if he felt the same towards her. She wanted to slowly slide back until she felt his clothed cock pressing on her clothed and aching core. Nadia wanted to rock and grind her hips until she felt Bucky get hard enough to flip her around and pin to her training mats.

Evening thinking about again was making Nadia feral. She needed to get that feeling taken care of before she went on the mission. If Steve would let her, that is.

“So, are you going to admit it now?” Wanda reached over to pick up her glass of water. “Or do I need to drag it out of you by reminding you more.”

Nadia didn’t like the game Wanda was playing. “Fine,” Nadia stood up and put her hand on her hips. “You win.”

“Really?” Wanda cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in her seat. “What did I win at?”

“I think I’ve fallen for my best guy friend and I don’t know if he feels the same,” Nadia waved a hand at Wanda.

“You think?” Wanda scrunched up her nose.

“Fine, then,” Nadia licked her lips and looked down at the floor. “I’m in love with Bucky.”

“Now, that’s what I wanted to hear.” Wanda smiled. “But.”

“But what?” Nadia asked, flopping back onto the couch. “There isn’t any buts except, does he like me? Only you would know.”

Wanda set her glass down. “I was talking about Thor. And I’m not sure, Bucky is pretty private in his mind. He knows how to keep things locked up.”

Nadia felt her breath get caught in her throat. She hadn’t thought about that night in almost a month. So much had happened after sleeping with Thor that she thought she forgot it. Nope, the memories of that night had started flooding her brian.

The Bar.

The table sex.

The sex on her desk. That still had nail marks on it.

The shower sex that was supposed to be a clean up session.

Then Thor held Nadia until she fell asleep.

“What about it?” Nadia asked slowly.

“Are you going to tell him about it?” Wanda was the only person who knew about Nadia and Thor.

“Should I tell him I slept with Thor?” Nadia asked softly.

“Thor’s practically a team member,” Wanda answered. “Wouldn’t want it to be awkward if..."

“You slept with Thor?”

The voice caused the color in Nadia's face to drain. It wasn’t who said it because Nadia knew who it was without turning around. It was how it was said. The sound of disbelief and hurt? Was that hurt Nadia heard in his voice? Everything in her body told Nadia not to turn around but she did anyway.

Bucky stood in the entryway of the living room. The look on his face was emotionless but Nadia saw the look in his eyes, those bright blue eyes, looked pained for a moment. When Bucky looked down, he shook his head and looked back up at Nadia. The slightest bit of emotion that Nadia saw, it was long gone now. Bucky’s eyes were just as emotionless as his face.

“”Bucky,” Nadia softly.

“Steve wants to see you,” Bucky turned on his heel and left the room.

Nadia turned back to Wanda whose lips were in a straight line. “You knew he was there, didn’t you?” Her voice was firm.

“I didn’t,” Wanda shook her head.

But it didn’t make the situation any better. Why did Bucky’s reaction bother her so much?

“What’s up with Bucky?” Sam came into the living room. “I said hi to him and he told me to fuck off.”

“He overheard me saying I slept with Thor,” Nadia started to make her way out.

“Ah,” Sam nodded his head. “I see now.”

“See what?’ Nadia asked.

“It’s still so funny that the two of you don’t see it.” Sam walked away, leaving Nadia even more confused than she was before.

***

“Nadia, Bucky,” Steve had just finished briefing everyone for the mission. “The two of you will walk the inside perimeter. Make sure none of Rumlows men gets through. Fire only if you’re being fired at. And for the sake of this mission, be cordial.”

Since Bucky found out that Nadia slept with Thor, the two of them have avoided each other like the plague. When other members of the team found out, it all made sense. But this mission they wouldn’t be able to avoid each other and Steve knew that. That’s why Steve paired them together. He had hoped that maybe they’d talk it through and put it behind them.

“At least Thor had the sense to shoot his shot,” Tony had said. “Barnes is too slow for this time.”

“At least Bucky’s a gentleman,” Steve had snapped at him. “Thor hasn’t been able to keep it in his pants since Jane dumped him.”

Now, while Nadia gears up next to Bucky, the two of them are dead silent. Nadia could feel the glare he was giving her the whole time. The tension between the two was going to get one of them hurt or killed.

Don’t speak unless it’s about the mission, Nadia thought as she strapped a thigh holster to herself. Her suit wasn’t her stealth suit, it was just a plain old suit similar to the one she trained in. According to Tony, he wanted to add something to it and it’s been in the shop since.

“Ready?” Bucky’s tone was neutral. “Or are you waiting for Thor to come so you can have more of him.”

Nadia never wanted to bitch slap someone in her whole life. “You know what Barnes,” she took a few steps towards Bucky. Bucky could see the anger steaming off her entire body. “You can go fuck yourself.” The venom in her words cut Bucky but part of him didn’t care.

“Bucky,” Steve’s cool tone was next. “Just focus on the mission.”

Nadia spun on her heels and made her way out of the quinjet. She didn’t have time for this and it was too late to drop this mission. She worked too hard to prove that she was capable of this. All she had to do was get through this mission and once they were back at the compound, she was going to pack a weekend bag and go see her parents.

The mission was going smoothly. Bucky and Nadia were quietly walking the inside perimeter, not talking to each other. The only time they spoke was if Steve checked in to see how they were doing. It was perfect until Bucky opened his mouth.

“Why him?” Bucky asked Nadia.

“What?” Nadia looked back at Bucky. He had been walking slow.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb,” Bucky taunted.

“You know what,” Nadia spun around and stood chest to chest with Bucky. The look of surprise with a hint of ‘oh shit i messed up’ in his eyes, gave her some pleasure. “It doesn’t matter to you who I fuck. Okay?!”

“Nadia,” Natasha’s voice warned in the coms.

“You guys need to do this another time,” Steve also warned.

Nadia ignored. “So what, I slept with Thor. It was a one time thing. I was drunk. He’s the one who came and checked on me, not you. If it were you, well, it would be another story wouldn’t it. Now shut up, put your whatever this is aside, and let’s focus on this mission.”

Nadia turned around and the next thing she felt was something ripping through her suit at both her shoulder and stomach. The suit she wore wasn’t Tony’s fancy bullet proof fabric. This was just plain old spandex like fabric. The pain that followed made Nadia wish she passed out. But she didn’t, she felt the pain radiate through her whole body as she fell to her knees.

“Nadia,” Bucky yelled. He was right there pulling her out of the line of fire and into an empty room. Bucky knocked everything off the only table in the room and laid Nadia down. Soon he was pressing his metal hand firmly on the wounded stomach. Nadia could feel the blood slowly seeping out of her.

The pressure from Bucky’s hand was enough to make Nadia scream, but she couldn’t. The intense pain in her shoulder was keeping her from doing that. Only a few whimpers came out here and there and Bucky was there to give her calm and reassuring words.

“Nadia’s been hit,” there was panic in Bucky’s words. “Good news, bullet went clean through her shoulder, didn’t hit anything important. Bad news, the bullet that hit her stomach is still in there. I gotta get it out.”

“Do you know where it is?” Steve asked.

“Barnes, don’t do anything, I’m on my way,” Natasha said. “Sam, can you get a visual on where they’re at.”

“South part of the building,” Sam’s voice seemed to echo in Nadia’s ears. But the only thing that she could really focus on was the look on Bucky’s face. There was fear and worry written all over it.

“She’s right,” Nadia breathed out. “Better to get me back to the quinjet and out of here.” But Bucky just stared at her. He didn’t know how to tell her how sorry he was for being an asshole. He felt the same kind of guilt he felt when he discovered he hurt her during a nightmare.

Natasha showed up a few moments later. She was going to cover Bucky and Nadia while Bucky carried her back to the quinjet. “It’s okay,” Bucky whispered when Nadia groaned. “It’ll be okay.”

And that was the last thing Nadia heard before passing out.

[countessofbiscuit]

Suppressive Fire

(Sev/Scorch, E, 3.9k words)

Two bros, chillin' on a top bunk no feet apart 'cause they're vode. . . .

Fleet Support, Ord Mantell, barrack block 7 Alpha, six standard weeks after Geonosis

She’d be built like a tank. That was Requirement the First.

She’d be humanoid, or near enough. Her arms would number ... four. Yes, four arms, each of them doing something clever. Two to open my ass, two to pinch my nipples, her long tongue going to crazy town on my cock, burning off my pubes with her caustic breath—

Sergeant Draka. The near-human-tank was Sergeant Draka, sure as day.

Scorch grabbed this realization with one firm hand and tugged.

Her species was shab-if-I-know: some unhappy hybrid who’d washed up on the far edge of the Outer Rim and been scraped into one of those fringe clans that never removed their helmets. Her folks developed a reputation for ritualized kidnapping that didn’t sit right with Jango. He’d ripped Draka’s helmet off in a duel, apparently, and spending ten years training the spawn of her enemy was the price she’d agreed to pay to regain her honor. All those kids and nowhere to run: a bitter form of torture for both parties. Her trainees were an insular, silent bunch with a tendency to tactically acquire your shit when you weren’t looking, but they got the job done.

Scorch had first seen Draka at a parade for the prime minister when he was three. He’d never forgotten it: she had fangs and yellow eyes and ears that twitched at the tips like they were catching your current of fear. No wonder they’d encouraged her to keep a lid on.

Then Scorch was six and change and he’d stumbled upon her in a hallway. She’d had a cadet upside down, smoking him good for something. “What are you gawping at, Six-Two?” she’d snarled, her generous chest heaving, three spare arms tensing in his direction. “Shift it. Unless you want your balls torn off next.”

Scorch had been a little scared and a lot turned on.

Sergeant Vau didn’t have to use many words to put the fear of Fett under your skin. He was a conservative man. Sergeant Draka regarded a shebs-chewing as the highest form of oratory and her calling in life. Whenever Scorch stood downwind of her in the combat hall, he could feel his eyebrows being singed off a second time.

Sweating a little, Scorch’s core tensed as this fantasy tightened vividly in his holographic mind.

She puts two hands around my cock, one hand on my nipple, one hand clawing under my balls—

Scorch flipped her on her back.

She uses all four arms to spread her trunky legs, hairy as a man’s, wide in invitation—

“Knock it off,” barked Sev.

She was gone. In her place was the knowledge that his brother was clued in to what Scorch was doing on the bottom bunk and determined to make it stop.

But the pressure under Scorch’s balls held firm and his erection stood fast. Sev was an oaf with shit timing. There was a reason they gave Scorch the fiddly wires and det controls. He stretched his fingers and reset his grip. “Not happening, vod.”

“Do you have to be so loud about it?”

“Loud?” Had he said something? Lost control of his breathing?

“Yes. Loud. Like you’re slugging a hamm sandwich.”

Scorch frowned. “Have you ever had a hamm sandwich?”

“I don’t want one now.”

There was some improvement to technique needed there: Scorch was always open to feedback—to the challenge of reducing the marginal noise of a wank. “You embarrassed?” he found himself asking, strokes resuming. Less hamm-fistedly. His orgasm had slumped a little and he'd have to tenderly call it back up.

“I’m embarrassed for you,” Sev said.

Scorch closed his eyes, picturing something ...

Sergeant Draka was back, and now she was holding him and Sev upside down. The arrival of RC-1207 into the sim wasn’t throwing Scorch off. In fact, it was encouraging. Exciting. He even leaked a little at the idea. What was a commando without his squad? Chafed, apparently. He should’ve brought Sev into the game two nights ago, after they’d been rudely pulled from stasis in preparation for some op known only to Boss.

Scorch didn’t remember decant. But Sergeant Vau, who'd wasted no time rocking up to his watery exile when Jango had put out the word, said they’d been ugly, annoyed, and ornery. The nursery techs had given them mock, miniature Deeces to keep their fussy hands and mouths occupied.

Coming out of stasis had to be worse—they were issued Deeces again, but they weren’t left alone to soothe themselves to sleep with weapons. Now their waking moments belonged entirely to some Jedi named Zey. They’d been forced to run a gamut of proprioception and endurance tests, cleaned their spanking new Katarn and cleaned it once more for luck on Boss’s orders, and told to familiarize themselves with their upgraded HUD systems.

Scorch had and he'd found it wanting: no pre-loaded heavy-isotope bangers or high-definition tailhead reference holos. Did he have to do everything himself in this shabla army?

After submitting to all this with only mild complaint—Fixer had sworn in full sentences—the op order was still not forthcoming. Classic hurry up and fekkin' wait. Wait for instructions they didn’t even need. Coordinates, intel support, and a broad objective would have sufficed for a commando tasking: top brass still had a lot to learn. It had left Delta with more downtime than they liked and had left Scorch wanting nothing more than to take care of that perennial need in his groin. And each time, he had to get a little more creative.

“What’re you thinking ‘bout, Sev?” he teased, poking the boundaries of this sim. Longnecks hated that: it’s why they let the commandos have off-world field trips to forsaken places where they couldn’t peel back the corners without dying. “Something profane? Something a little non-regulation?”

“The shab is wrong with you.”

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking ... ” The opportunity for candor—without Fixer on the opposite bunk telling him to pipe down or Boss around to make it happen—was interesting. And as far as Scorch knew, this slap-dash prefab of a support base didn’t have surveillance bugs like their dorms on Kamino. The range and assault course here weren't even specced for lasers; they had to waste live rounds on discs and be honest about getting locked onto. Not likely.

With nothing left to hide, Scorch rolled away from the wall and relaxed onto his back, his cock stiff and spry. He pulled his hood up and over his wet glans and back down again, as far as he could take it, skin smarting nicely at the stretch. He went on, “I’m thinking about Sergeant Draka.”

“Stop,” Sev said.

“Her thick thighs in my face—”

“Stop.”

Scorch spat in his hand and throttled his shaft. “Biting our balls … ” Okay, maybe that was a little weird. But if Fixer’s quick work of the base pyrowall in the anxious hours before chill-down was anything to go by, weird could be good. Better than good.

“Don’t make me come down there,” Sev growled. Not unlike Sergeant Draka, actually.

Scorch couldn’t help himself. “Oh yeah, do come down here ... ” He bucked into his fist, as if to jerk out that ball of bliss from behind his sack. The mass of him tensed rigid under one fixed goal. His fumbled around for something in the sheets with his free hand. “Come down her thick legs ... ”

If anything could singe Draka’s hairs, it’d be Sev’s spunk. Scorch loved a blast, but Sev would sprinkle baradium on his Oaties every morning if he could. Sev would spill like a gutted aiwha, animalistic and uncontrolled, and Draka would hiss and gnash her teeth and—

And suddenly, Scorch was over the line. His base clenched hard, choking his groan of release. He convulsed and came thickly into one of yesterday’s socks.

“Shab,” he croaked, his vision returning, his limbs pooling with pituitary pleasure. “Blew up real good.”

Somewhere above him, Sev huffed. “Three nights in a row. You’re disgusting—you know that, right?”

“Stasis, my shebs. I’ve never had such busy balls in my short life.” Scorch twisted languidly to the edge of the mattress and sat up, squeezing his cock clean. “Cooking blanks like they might get lucky.” The knotted sock got buried in tomorrow’s laundry and Scorch borrowed some of Boss’s wet wipes for the cleanup. Sarge wouldn’t miss them.

“The rest of us are fine,” Sev countered.

Scorch glanced at Sev over his shoulder. His brother looked like a corpse who’d taken up reading in the afterlife. Base bunks weren’t much cosier than a stasis pod, but something else was keeping Sev’s spine stiff. Something that might affect squad performance if it wasn’t addressed: a bad case of self-inflicted blue balls.

Scorch pulled up his pants and ambled over. “You know ... you say that. But this says something else.” He grabbed Sev’s perky junk.

Happily for his brother, Scorch’s grip was light. So when Sev knocked Scorch backwards at the throat, he didn’t take Sev’s sack with him. A scuffle ensued, half-hearted on Scorch’s side, though Sev was obviously in one of his fuck-off moods. He always was crankiest after a nap; it’d take him days to shake off stasis. And he was still pissed about Procurement’s theft of his helmet, with its authentic Gamma blood enshrined in red paint. That di’kutla squad had been shipped to Triple Zero, and until Sev butted heads with them again, he’d be as scratchy as a flea-bitten akk.

Using the shallow bunkrail, Scorch flung himself up and collapsed onto his brother, asking the cantilevered cot to bear the weight of two commandos. He was a trusting soul. The tussle continued until Scorch allowed Sev to secure a headlock, rather than drag them both onto the floor. They’d just gotten out of one unnatural bath and he didn’t fancy a dunk in bacta.

Scorch tapped Sev’s thigh. “Alright, alright,” he said hoarsely. Sev’s hold loosened a fraction and Scorch scooted out from it. Sitting up, he grabbed the holozine that had gotten pinned against the wall: some monthly edition of erudition that called itself Lasers & Blasters. “Didn’t know you could, Oh-Seven.”

Sev snatched the ‘zine to stuff it under his pillow. “It’s above your cadet-grade.”

“I think everyone knows you’re the knuckle-dragger around here, not me.”

“I think everyone knows I’m the hero of Geonosis, Killer of Sun Fac.”

Scorch made a theatrical noise that sounded like a broken, wet bes’bev. “Woo-hoo! You hit the broad side of a bantha!”

Now Sev really tried to catapult him onto the floor. But Scorch’s close-combat situational awareness noticed that his brother’s cockstand was holding strong.

“Sev,” he said, panting a little when they’d reached another stalemate, “the only people who know Sun Fac’s name are us, some spooks, and that random forward air controller.”

“Shove off.” Sev kicked him with his boot. He wore them to bed like an animal.

Scorch shook his head. “Not until you take care of yourself.”

“You have some shabla nerve, vod.”

“Rule 45: there should be no happier union than that between a commando and his weapon. But you’ve neglected yours.” He cast a judgemental eye at Sev’s tented pants. They’d been sleeping, shooting, and shitting cheek-by-jowl for their entire lives: Scorch didn’t know why one more bodily function would be that much worse. In that moment, he had more sympathy for his brother’s dick than his brother’s karked-up dignity. Or his own.

He glanced at the chrono. Boss and Fixer still had half an hour at the range and they’d probably hit the mess on the way back. Time enough for a little more equipment maintenance; Scorch believed he was being supremely generous offering what remained of his. He flopped over into a plank above his brother, who was still lying deathly prone. “If you’re not gonna help yourself ...”

“What?” Sev sneered. “You’ll do the honors?”

“Maybe I will. I am better than you, after all,” Scorch grinned. Suddenly, he sensed a game that he wanted to win. They were all like that. Competitive. Not so much against each other, but with each other. Getting screwy Sev off would be the ultimate victory: no one would lose and everyone would leave happy.

“You can’t.” Sev’s disinterest was as threadbare as his pillowcase.

“Alright, vod. I’ll take that bet.” Scorch dug the heel of his hand into his brother’s persistent erection. Sev’s eyelids fluttered. No greater tell in the book. “I bet I can get you off before Boss and Fixer get back. Just this once.”

Sev circled his hands around Scorch’s throat, hissing through perfect teeth bared tight, “You—can’t—Sergeant—Vau—would—”

Scorch scoffed. “You see Sarge here? He’s fucked off to his castle with his kaminii retirement fund.”

Vau had never promised he’d be there on the other side, but ... did he know they’d done a good job? That they’d been singled out for the assassination of the bugs’ chief lieutenant? That they’d survived—no, that they'd excelled, when hundreds of other squads hadn’t? Did he even care? Scorch had to wonder.

He shoved those thoughts aside with conscious effort; they wouldn’t do him any good. Better that Vau wasn't here anyway: he would sniff mightily at this interpretation of no brother left behind. “Hells, he’s probably rubbing one out to a portrait of the dead missus right now,” Scorch continued.

Sev’s grip tightened for their sergeant’s honor. “He wouldn’t—”

“He would. Stars love the old chakaar, Sev, but he’s only flesh and blood.” Actually, that’s all Vau was: cragged skin and blue blood twisted ‘round a frame that seemed to boast a few more bones than average. There must have been a heart in there, too—see: Mird—but Delta had spent their entire cadethood seeking it out to little good. Especially Sev, though he’d slot you for saying so.

Oh, Sev’ika: flesh and blood, plus a lot of bile and bad humor. He stank out the backend when he’d scarfed down too many ration packs, but what would splatter out the front? Scorch was beyond curious now, as he palmed his brother’s package through his clothes.

Sev’s hands held firm, but it was half-hearted, his thumbs only tickling his brother’s trachea. His nostrils flared. He was afraid. No, even better—he was desperate.

It was all the vindication Scorch needed. “That’s right—breathe. Relax. Six-Two’s got you.” He tugged Sev’s fatigues down, hitching the elasticene band behind his balls. Sev grimaced. Yeah, it might not be comfortable yet, but just wait; a little pressure there goes a long way.

“That hurts,” growled Sev.

“Gonna hand me the game?” If Sev had lost sight of his mission objective, he really was gummed up. “Jerking off through a fly feels like doing it in formation,” Scorch said.

Sev turned his head to the wall. If he’d done it at all, that was clearly how.

Scorch took his theoretically-identical brother in hand and felt the heft and heat of a dick that was still an inch left of familiar, however many times he'd seen it. Sev was throbbing. His hands fell away, as deliberately limp as the rest of him, like he was trying to absent himself from his body.

“So ... Sergeant Draka—” Scorch began, realizing he’d just been staring at his brother’s kad for longer than was right. He mentally constructed the fantasy again, deliberately this time, while he warmed up to the idea of working someone else’s shaft. Sev’s shaft. He imagined what Sev might like to hear, because Scorch sure as shab wasn’t keen on hardening up between his brother’s legs himself. That would just be strange. “She’s got you under two hands and a squawking bug under the other, honkin' great tits ready to smother the both of you ...”

Up until he’d found his brother’s cock in his hand, Scorch had fancied himself an honest commando. He really did. Then he had to close the dissonance between his not-insignificant-interest in Sev’s pink tip and, well, Sev: that awkward grump-a-lump who couldn’t look at a sapient or sentient, droid or organic, without scaring them away.

Scorch did it by telling himself this was just his own his cock in a mirror. A learning experience, if nothing else. And his tongue loosened to remember the bet. He began rubbing with intent. “She snaps its neck. Crunch. And isn’t that just your favoritest sound, Sev, ol’ boy?”

“Not her,” Sev said hoarsely.

Manda, he really was giving this to Scorch in the bag. “Who?”

“—don’t know—I don’t shabla know.”

“Easy, vod. You got a lifetime to find out. Well, half of one.”

“Shut. Up.”

Scorch changed the program and flicked a thumbnail right under Sev’s hood. Scratched out whatever dream Sev had building behind his scrunched eyes. It was irrelevant, whatever cleaned the pipes. If his brother didn’t want to say, who was Scorch to ask? The silky give of his hard-on and his nasally gasps vouched that Sev was having an a-okay time. Scorch wouldn’t have a hand, otherwise.

Sev bubbled from his tip. Scorch felt himself flush, but he was more intrigued than anything. It really was like watching a holo of himself. Obviously, Scorch was more handsome, mostly because he wasn’t a fucking psycho ... but a cock was a cock. He lengthened his movement with the slick aid of precome, fisting all the way down to Sev’s slightly lighter curls.

Suddenly, Sev’s fingers wrapped around his. For an alarming half-second, Scorch feared his wrist was about to be snapped. Goodbye dominant hand and superhuman reaction times.

But Sev just held on, eyes pinched shut, arm as unyielding as a barrel.

The situation became more straightforward. Emboldened by the team effort, Scorch stroked faster. Harder. He read the lines in Sev’s fierce face like a manual for a weapon he’d been handed five years ago. A clone lifetime. A batcher’s intuition. He shucked Sev’s sheath down as hard as he could. Twisted his wrist at the top further than Sev’s delicate skin wanted to go. Scorch figured his brother liked the bite of pain. “You feelin’ the heat? You gonna spill all over my fingers, Sev’ika?” he teased.

Sev heaved like he might throw up, and he coughed out only two words. “Do. Not.”

Yeah, he hates that kind of chummy osik and yakking. It was almost sad how much Sev knew what he didn’t want, but couldn’t voice what he did. Even Fixer grunted in approval when something wriggled across the ‘pad’s screen; at least he had some idea what kind of parts he fancied. It was a very broad pool.

Sev just looked embarrassed to be asked.

“Someone’s gonna love your shit, Sev,” Scorch encouraged, coming at it again from a different vector. If he didn’t show his wacky brother some love, who would?

Vau hadn’t been there to bestow that curt nod. They didn’t want to be spoiled. Scorch and his brothers weren’t Skirata’s pups: they’d survived Geonosis because they weren’t. But ... Delta was here and Theta wasn’t and Vau had no karkin’ clue what a close-run thing it’d been. Didn’t know how the knife-edge of his training had probably made all the difference and how chuffed they all were about it.

Or how Sev had made that one-in-a-million shot to Sun Fac’s fighter with half his visor splattered in bug spray. Scorch would remember that for the rest of his short life: angry tendrils of smoke rising behind Sev as he turned contemptuously away from his kill, his helmet gooey with Geonosian.

There were brothers, and there were your brothers: the ones who’d made you better just by being there beside you. Sev was one of those.

Scorch didn’t have to improv osik, now. The words came as easy as his muscle memory as he pistoned his palm along Sev’s angry cock. “Fuckin’ proud of you, Sev: bane of bugs and sniper extraordinaire. Wish Vau could’ve seen it, I really do. I’ll have CLONINT’s guts for rappelling lines for wiping Boss’s cache.”

Sev’s free hand had bunched into the sheet, his knuckles whitening. He stilled suddenly, tense as the second before the opening salvo. Here it comes.

“Ooh, so that’s how Sev breaks. Result!” Scorch had imagined Sev’s orgasm would be like squeezing blood from a stone. Not at all: it came as surely and naturally as his own. Scorch watched intently. Who knew their balls became one in the moment of triumph like that? As Sev’s practically disappeared into his taut body, Scorch had to think on his feet to save his brother’s freshly-laundered fatigues—or, on his knees and elbows, as the case was.

Thunking his other arm across his face, Sev lost the bet with a violent shudder—and without a sound, probably so he couldn’t say he’d enjoyed it. He squirted fully but cleanly onto the open spread of the ‘zine, thanks to Scorch’s management and direction. A long, messy line of cloudy white right across the cross-sectioned barrel of a Magna-Caster-100. Thank fuck for flimsi.

Shaking off Sev's hand, Scorch dropped the wilting cock. It was not attractive, and he prayed the ladies wouldn't think the same, warring with himself about whether he could succumb to the mortification of going limp in someone’s mouth. Maybe it was better to pull out and stripe them? It merited further research on Fixer’s ‘pad, just in case.

“Target softened. Should make things easier for you. Hope you took notes,” Scorch said, oddly transfixed by the description of the ‘Caster’s invisible quarrels he’d spotted on the page. He was growing itchy for a time-sensitive rummage—Scorch would wager his lower left nut that Delta could now go toe-to-toe with any of Draka’s squads for acquisition. With any luck, this mysterious upcoming op would net them some exotic toys.

He shifted his weight, feeling the need to move before that idea made him stiff again and everyone got the wrong impression.

“‘m not soft, di’kut,” Sev mumbled from underneath his arm.

Scorch patted his thigh. “Sure you’re not.”

“Getting soft will get us popped.”

Scorch was halfway off the bunk, but he stopped to squeeze Sev’s fucked-up head. “Hey, ner vod. Look at me—look at me,” he demanded. Sev let his arm fall behind his curls but he kept his gaze elsewhere. “No need to quote Sarge to me. Or go grey over stupid stuff like him.”

Stuff like distraction—a dirty word in Vau’s lexicon. What did they have to get distracted by, anyhow? Grainy holovids? They had enough room in their over-engineered skulls for a few of those, and if they ever got to touch the real thing, Scorch figured they wouldn’t lose their heads. Right? Civvies were so unexceptional, after all. Probably couldn’t tell a maranium blast from a benign xenon light sculpture. Brothers, especially your fellow commandos, were the only company worth keeping—even Vau said so, and Skirata had said Vau had wined and dined New Mando aristos and had bedded a fekkin’ princess in a past life.

Eventually, Sev’s sour mug puckered in something like thought. “If you fucked up my range scores, I’m going to piss in your pack.”

Scorch laughed, dumping his feet onto the floor and wandering in the direction of Boss’s ration bars. Mess was a whole two hours away and Scorch had a month’s eating to make up for. “Sev’ika, no one could fuck up your range scores. You just pregamed with Lasers & Blasters.”

The ‘zine smacked the back of Scorch’s head, wet side flat.

Yeah, we're still good, Scorch thought, as he finally manhandled his stroppy brother onto the floor. And we always will be.

(also on Ao3)

[eryiss]

Request: A Pattern of Dots and Dashes

Summary: Laxus has always been good at seeing patterns. So when Freed starts to tap out a pattern, Laxus can't help but pick up on it. The more he thinks about it, the more it drives him crazy. But as he looks into what this pattern means, he starts to realise just how romantic his boyfriend can be. [Fraxus One Shot]

This was part of a prompt based request thing I'm doing, based off of a request focused around sweet gestures and subtle touches, made by Tumblr user: @fairiesherefairiesthere. I went a bit off the prompt, but I'm happy with how it turned out. I hope you all enjoy and if you have a request please leave a comment or maybe talk to me Tumblr.

You can read this on FanFiction, Archive of our Own, or under the cut. Hope you enjoy it ^.^

A Pattern of Dots and Dashes.

Laxus had always been good at recognising patterns.

It was an odd little talent, one that was very rarely useful in his line of work, but it was one he had non the less. He didn't know where this talent had come from, but it seemed that whenever some kind of pattern was in place, he could find it relatively easy. It could be something visual, something he heard, or even something he smelt.

He had a few ideas as to what might have caused it. It could have been that his dragon senses made it easier to pick up on things. It could be that, after having the dragon lacrima forced into him, he focused on anything that could distract him from the pain and looking for patterns helped in some way. Or maybe he was just the kind of person who looked out for patterns in the world and there was no greater reason for it.

It didn't matter, really.

What did matter was a certain pattern Laxus had picked up on. A pattern that Freed Justine was responsible for.

Freed and Laxus had been dating for months now. It was a private thing, neither wanting to deal with the hassle of their guildmates finding out and jumping to conclusions about their future. Perhaps Bickslow and Evergreen knew, the two knew Freed and Laxus better than anyone else after all. But for all it was important, their relationship was private to the two of them and nobody else needed to be involved.

Something that had shocked Laxus was how intimate Freed could be. He wasn't interested in public displays of affection, but he did small things that made Laxus smile. It was little actions, like a firm pat on the shoulder if Freed walked behind him in the guild, or a quick glance and smirk when something happened that Freed knew would amuse Laxus. Just small things.

Even thinking about him made Laxus feel warm inside.

But recently something new had happened. Laxus had no idea if it was related to their relationship, but he felt that it must. Because Freed had repeated this little pattern multiple times over the last few weeks, and it was always in a way that Laxus would be aware of. It felt like a message, but Laxus didn't know what it was.

The first time, it was when they woke up side by side. They had been kissing, waking themselves up properly, when Freed's fingernail scraped across the back of Laxus' neck. This wasn't abnormal, but the pattern in which he did it stayed in Laxus' mind.

Tap. Scrape. Tap. Tap.

Laxus had dismissed it immediately, his boyfriend was in his bed and kissing him after all, and for the rest of the day it had been forgotten. However, when they went to the market the next day, as Freed was looking over a fruit vendors stock, he made a clicking noise with his tongue.

Click. A click with a pause. Then two more quick clicks.

It was the same pattern, and Laxus immediately recognised it. He couldn't remember where from exactly, but he knew for sure that he had heard it before. For a few minutes he tried to think where it had come from, but then Freed suggested that maybe they get something to eat at one of the hot food stores and the appeal of cooked pork overthrew most of Laxus' senses.

The next time it happened was on a mission. They had been called in to see the mayor of a small town who was having issues with a group of bandits. They were waiting in the mayor's office and Freed tapped out the same pattern again on the desk.

Tap. Tap and pause. Tap. Tap.

Throughout the rest of the week, he heard it again and again. When they were walking together, Freed patted his finger against his thigh to the pattern. When playing his violin, Freed had begun a song with that pattern. Even when he was cooking, Freed had removed residual soup from the wooden spoon by tapping it on the ridge of the pot in the pattern.

It seemed to be a thing Freed did now, and Laxus didn't understand why.

Furthermore, he had gotten so used to it that he felt as though the pattern was missing now. Freed and the Raijinshuu had gone on a mission and had been gone for two days, leaving Laxus alone. This wasn't an unusual occurrence, and normally Laxus wouldn't have cared, but he now found himself expecting the pattern to appear. The fact that it didn't felt as if he was missing something. It wasn't bothering him, exactly, but he couldn't exactly think of anything else. So, as he sat at the bar and nursed a tankard of beer, he found himself questioning what the sound was. And where had it come from.

His immediate thought was that Freed had a song stuck in his head, but it didn't make sense. The pattern wasn't a rhythm – not a good one anyway – and surely he wouldn't have fixated on a song for weeks.

For a second, he had considered maybe Freed had some kind of spell put on him. But again, it made no sense. What kind of spell advertised itself so obviously? And Laxus knew Freed's magic, he could tell if something new had been added to it. A long-lasting spell would have been obvious.

Other than that, no explanations had come to mind. Which was annoying.

Not quite as annoying as the fact that he was now tapping his tankard in the same damn pattern.

Clink. Clink and a pause. Clink. Clink.

Maybe that was why Freed was doing it, just to be an asshole and get the stupid little chime stuck in his head as some sort of weird prank. Laxus wouldn't put it past him; Freed had a mischievous side, as subtle as it may be. He also had a weird sense of humour, so perhaps this really was him. Laxus smiled a little at the thought.

He probably should stop thinking about it. There was no reason to, it wasn't as if he could get a definitive answer without Freed being there. All he was doing now was-

"Okay, you seriously need to fucking stop that."

Laxus looked up from his beer at the sound of Gajeel's raspy voice. The other dragon slayer was looking at him with an expression of annoyance, his ridiculous metal eyebrow twitching a little as he did so. Laxus at up a little straighter, putting on an equally annoyed expression. Couldn't a man drink in peace?

"The hell d'you mean?"

"The fucking tapping you've been doing for like twenty minutes," Gajeel continued, apparently not put off by Laxus' stature. "It's fucking annoying, so cut it out or fuck off and do it somewhere else."

He'd been doing it for that long? He hadn't realised it was that bad.

"Why should I move, kid?" Laxus butted back, hoping 'kid' got under Gajeel's skin. Annoyingly, he seemed unaware of it.

"I just fucking said, it's annoying," Gajeel reiterated, turning to face Laxus. "I mean what the hell even is it. Who fucking taps the same damn thing again and again for half an hour?"

So it was half an hour now? Either Gajeel had some time magic nobody knew about or he was just exaggerating to make his pissy attitude seem more justified. Laxus was going to say just as much when another voice spoke up.

"Sounds like Morse Code," The voice said, and Gajeel turned to show Laxus that Levy was sitting on the other side of the iron dragon slayer. Both Laxus and Gajeel looked at her with confusion. "Well, it is Morse Code. I think it's an L, actually."

Morse Code. Laxus knew what it was, of course, but he didn't know how to speak it; well, speak isn't the right word. But it made sense that Freed would know, given that he seemed to know every damn language under the sun. And tapping out secret messages would definitely be the type of thing he would do, the fucking smartass. But why would be just keep saying L over and over again? It didn't really make sense.

But still, it was an explanation. And something he could do to occupy his time alone.

He stood up from the bar, leaving his beer half drunk and making a note to remember Gajeel's comment about him not being smart enough to know what Morse Code was; the iron bastard would regret it later. He stalked past the stairs and towards the Guild's library, an expression of determination painted onto his features.

There would be a book on Morse Code in there somewhere; if there were books on all the random languages Freed wanted to learn about, there would be one on Morse Code. And the time it took to find it gave Laxus some thinking time.

The more he thought about it, the more the repetition of the letter L made sense.

Freed had shown himself to be something of a romantic, in a downplayed way. Knowing that Levy – and perhaps others – knew Morse code meant that messaged told in it wouldn't be private. So maybe it was just a small romantic gesture from Freed. It seemed too coincidental that Freed would be tapping out his first initial whenever they were around each other. Maybe it was something that Freed did to show his feelings; it sort of made sense.

Laxus wished he had a way of communicating his feelings better. Words had never been his strongpoint, and he was even worse at being honest with his feelings. He never could be vulnerable.

But he wanted to be. He really did. Because these few months of dating Freed, it made him realise a lot about himself. Freed was perhaps the most important person in his life, and he wanted to let him know. Let him know that he loved him.

Because he did. He really did.

And as his fingers ran across a book named 'A History of Coded Languages', an idea came to mind.

-~---~-

When Freed returned to his home, he was exhausted.

It was just past midnight, he had been walking for hours in the rain because of a cancelled train journey, and the cuts covering his body from the mission he'd been on were starting to irritate him as they rubbed against his sodden clothes. Needless to say, he was incredibly happy to be back in his home.

He moved without thinking. He went to his bedroom, had a warm shower that was the perfect remedy for the dirty rain that had been beating down on him for hours, treated the wounds that would need to be bandaged when he went to the guild, put on some comfortable clothes, and went to his living room. A fire was roaring within moments and the heat from the open flame was heavenly. As the room started to heat up, Freed walked to the kitchen to make himself a pot of Chamomile tea; he was in an annoying middle ground of being exhausted but not actually tired.

As he waited for his kettle to boil, he saw that Laxus' sound pods resting on the kitchen table. Freed frowned a little; the blonde rarely went anywhere without them. Freed knew that he was on a mission – it was unfortunate that their missions overlapped, but it happened.

The rune mage walked slowly towards them, to see the headphones were resting on a small note written in Laxus' handwriting. He picked it up and smiled a little at what he saw.

'Made a puzzle for ya, see if you can figure it out. Smartass.'

He laughed a little at the note, including the small kiss that had been put at the end that had been crossed out. He slid the headphones over his ears and went to press play, but the kettle started to whistle. He made himself the tea, walked into his sitting room and rested in the large leather chair that he did most of his reading in, and pushed the play button on the side of the headphones. For a second, he heard a small amount of scraping, before the tapping began.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

He knew that it was immediately, and he smiled. So Laxus had picked up on his use of Morse Code, and was apparently using it now. The rune mage paused the track, picked up one of the notepads that he had lying around his house. Once he was ready, he restarted to track and began to write out what Laxus had coded.

... . -.- / -. . .-. -..

Hey Nerd.

Freed smirked a little at the nickname Laxus had taken to giving him. While it wasn't exactly flattering, he saw it as a sign of endearment that Laxus had started to use, and the rune mage wasn't bothered by it. It was cute, in a certain way.

.. / .- - / -. - - / -. - - -.. / .- .. - ... / .- - .-. -.. ... / ... - / .. / .- .. .-.. .-.. / .- ..- ... - / ... .- -.- / .. - .-.-.-

I am not good with words so I will just say it.

After translating the second sentence, Freed found a little. The rune mage knew his boyfriend well, even the small sentence told Freed that this was something serious. Laxus had never been good at speaking about his feelings – no doubt the result of his father's bad parenting – but perhaps this was a way of doing it for him.

.. / .-.. - ...- . / -.- - ..- .-.-.- / .. / .- - / .. -. / .-.. - ...- . / .- .. - ... / -.- - ..-

I love you. I am in love with you.

Freed looked down at the words he had written. He re-translated it again, just to be sure, and found himself smiling wide when the same result came out. Laxus had just confessed his love for him, he didn't know how to react to that. But damn was he happy about it, and he felt a fire burning inside of him.

Laxus loved him. Just as much as he loved Laxus. They were in love with each other. The feeling was… euphoric.

But, as much as he wanted to let that feeling sink in, the message wasn't over. He pressed play again.

... - .-. .-. -.- / - ... .. ... / .. ... / -. - - / .- / -.. .. .-. . -.-. - / .- .- -.- / - ..-. / -.. - .. -. -. / .. - .-.-.- / -... ..- - / .. / .-.. - ...- . / -.- - ..- .-.-.-

Sorry this is not a direct way of doing it. But I love you.

Freed felt a small laugh split his lips apart. Of course Laxus would second guess his declaration of love. He didn't need to, though. Because Laxus had learned a language just for the sake of this message, and the effort that he put into this was spectacular. Freed would make sure Laxus knew how much he appreciated what Laxus had done for him when he returned. With a smile on his face, Freed pressed the play button again.

... . . / -.- - ..- / .- ... . -. / .. / -. . - / -... .- -.-. -.- .-.-.- / .-.. - ...- . / -.- - ..- .-.-.-

See you when I get back. Love you.

-~---~-

Upon returning from his mission, Laxus found arms wrapped around his neck. He was pulled into a kiss by his boyfriend, one that he was happy to return. He dropped his bags on the floor of his hallway and wrapped his arms around Freed's waist, leaning down and strengthening the kiss. Returning from a mission to a kiss was something Laxus was very quickly getting used to.

Honestly, he was shocked he had lived without it for so long.

When they pulled apart, Laxus smiled at Freed. "Hey."

"I love you too," Freed said immediately, his smile heavenly. Laxus felt a rush of exhilaration at his words, an equally love-filled smile plastering itself on his face.

"You do?" He asked, voice cracking slightly.

"Of course I do, idiot," Freed whispered, resting his forehead against Laxus' shoulder. Laxus pulled him a little closer. "And before you ask, learning Morse Code to tell me that you love me, perhaps the sexiest thing you – or any man – has ever done."

"Of course you'd think that," Laxus chuckled, before tilting Freed's chin to initiate eye contact. "I do love you, Freed."

"I love you too, Laxus."

And within a moment, they were kissing again. As they did, Laxus felt Freed's finger scraping against his neck again; the same pattern that had been plaguing his mind for weeks. It made the blonde smile and lean further into the kiss. He knew what the pattern meant now; it was Freed's way of saying that he loved him.

Dot. Dash. Dot. Dot.

So, just as Freed would affirm his love for Laxus by tapping out Morse Code for L, Laxus would do the same for Freed by tapping out Morse Code for F.

Dot. Dot. Dash. Dot

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 4.8

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, as chapter 4 became Deadly Life, Miu was incredibly unsubtle about her murder plan, Shuichi apparently thinks Kaito is too invincible to possibly be dead, Gonta was a murderer and then a different Gonta was very confused and sad, Kokichi refused to let Kaito investigate with Shuichi for no actually decent reason, and Kaito made it very clear that he knows Shuichi can and should find the culprit even if it’s someone he believes in.

We left off right as the investigation proper began.

Shuichi:  “Kokichi. What do you want?”

This is Shuichi’s reaction to Kokichi first butting in to try and be his “partner”. He is so completely not about this.

Kokichi:  “It’s just… I hate lies so much that I tend to suspect others a lot.”

As I mentioned with a similar comment of his a while back, him hating lies is actually a somewhat true statement and not as paradoxical as it seems.

Kokichi:  “Kaito said he wouldn’t team up with you for this case, but I can’t trust those words. That’s why I’m keeping an eye out, in case he tries to bother you.”

Except that Kokichi knows Kaito isn’t the culprit and there’d be absolutely no harm in them working together, so really what this is is just Kokichi trying to jab at Kaito’s issues by making sure it gets made clear that hey, look, Shuichi can solve a whole case without you and you have nothing useful to offer him. Look at the way Kokichi calls Kaito a “bother”. He knows what he’s doing.

Kokichi:  “But I’ll help you as much as I can.”

And here he’s trying to make sure that Shuichi will in fact be able to solve the case and figure out that Gonta did it, because he wants the exact opposite of what Gonta wanted when he killed Miu.

It’s a little odd that examining Miu’s corpse only lets you see her from the side, and that the side view of her is the only one that’s added as a Truth Bullet, even though it’s pretty difficult to see her non-bloodshot eyes from that angle, which is relevant. The body discovery cutscene showed them quite clearly, but you don’t get to look at that again.

Shuichi:  (Some helmets have their cords plugged in, others have them removed…)

We can assume that one of the ones with them removed is Gonta’s, then, or else Shuichi would have noticed they were in backwards. Or he just didn’t actually check them all, but that seems unthorough of him not to do so.

Shuichi:  “Gonta… are you alright?”

Kokichi:  “Are you still depressed about Miu? C’mon, don’t be such a Debbie Downer.”

Gonta:  “…”

A very important thing to be aware of: Kokichi has absolutely no idea about Gonta’s memory loss. He fully believes right now that Gonta remembers everything about the murder and their mercy kill plan and is acting in accordance with that. So presumably him trying to tell Gonta to be less down is because he’s worried that Gonta being even more depressed than usual will make it obvious something’s up with him (even though he wants everyone to eventually realise Gonta did it, realising that too soon would be no ~fun~, right??). But nope, actually Gonta’s just such a sweet person that he’d be this depressed over another murder even if he had nothing to do with it.

Kokichi:  “Oh, Gonta, I wanna know what you think. Rare, I know, but who do you think is the culprit?”

This is also pretty telling as to what’s going on. Kokichi would never usually give a fuck about Gonta’s opinion on a case, since he has Gonta written off as a naïve idiot. He’s asking now because he wants to force Gonta to lie, to make sure that Gonta is still willing to lie and isn’t going to get cold feet about the plan.

Gonta:  “Why… Miu killed!? Gonta not understand… Gonta not understand anything…”

Poor thing, he’s so confused – they all sat down to do this complicated thing he didn’t understand that actually turned out to be just going to sleep, and then while they were all asleep Miu got killed for some reason? It doesn’t make any sense!

Kokichi:  “But Gonta doesn’t seem to be lying. I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth. Well… I guess a big dum-dum like Gonta doesn’t have the brains to lie in the first place.”

He actually is telling us the truth right now even though you think otherwise, you dick. Since Kokichi believes Gonta is lying and knows everyone else is going to eventually realise it, this is another of his pathetically transparent attempts to convince everyone that absolutely nobody, not even someone like Gonta, is ever deserving of trust.

Kokichi:  “I’m so disappointed in you, Gonta. When I first met you, I thought you’d be more useful.”

YOU BELIEVE HE IS BEING USEFUL TO YOU RIGHT NOW YOU ASSHOLE

(If Gonta actually remembered then this would hurt him so much more than it already does.)

Kokichi:  “If you feel that bad about it, then stop blaming yourself. Help us find the culprit instead. This is the culprit’s fault anyway, so pull yourself together and help us, okay?”

AND SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT WOULD HURT GONTA SO MUCH MORE IF HE ACTUALLY REMEMBERED

I can give the whole “help us find the culprit” part a pass as Kokichi trying to make sure Gonta will act as though he normally would in terms of helping the investigation. Still, even that would be awful for a Gonta who’d already be at his limit just lying about his crime when he hates lying so much. Having to act on top of that like he wants to help them find the culprit when really he feels like doing that would achieve the opposite of helping them would be stressful and confusing as hell for him.

But… “This is the culprit’s fault anyway”? Literally two sentences after telling him not to blame himself? Fuck you, Kokichi. Fuck you.

I did have a whole rant written about how awful it is that Kokichi is being this deliberately cruel towards Gonta (which you’ll see an edited version of later this post, because it still applies in a different context), but then it occurred to me that this is probably not deliberate cruelty and is instead Kokichi deflecting his own guilt. It’s totally only Gonta’s fault that Miu’s dead, right? Kokichi didn’t murder her and doesn’t have anything to feel bad about, right?

But no, Kokichi absolutely did also murder Miu and should feel just as bad about it as Gonta does (or would do if he remembered). He deliberately took actions that he knew would lead to her death, that wouldn’t have led to her death if he hadn’t taken them, and she died as a result. The only way in which that is not murder for all intents and purposes is in Monokuma’s very literal definition of who the blackened is. The fact that Kokichi can’t take responsibility for his own goddamn actions and the pain they caused and is (hypothetically) making Gonta suffer even more in his attempts to run away from them makes him a pretty fucking awful person. Not quite as awful a person as he would be if he were doing this to be deliberately cruel, and also a more interesting character than if that were the case, but still a terrible person. Even if he’s only doing it out of cowardice and not just for the sake of being cruel, the end result is still cruelty. Or would have been, as far as Kokichi knows.

And, granted, this is in part caused by Kokichi being twisted by this killing game, and I don’t believe he would be quite as terrible under normal circumstances. That’s interesting in an out-universe sense, but that still doesn’t make it even remotely okay in an in-universe sense. Nobody else was twisted into this kind of assholery by the killing game – most of the others if anything became better people for it, not worse.

Shuichi:  (Now Kokichi is encouraging him?)

Shuichi can tell something’s off here because Kokichi is usually just treating Gonta like a tool and being a dick to him, not encouraging him. Little does he know that Kokichi is still being a dick to him, and even more of one than usual.

Shuichi:  (I really don’t know what Kokichi is thinking.)

Be glad you don’t, Shuichi, because if you did, you’d… well, you probably wouldn’t do much because you’re too passive. If Kaito knew what Kokichi was really thinking, though, man would he give him a piece of his mind about standing by his own actions and taking some goddamn responsibility.

Kokichi:  “Feel free to lie, of course. Exposing lies is the real pleasure of this game, after all.”

Kaito:  “Huh? What!?”

Shuichi:  “Kaito… just ignore him and talk to me, okay?”

I love how clear it is that Shuichi is just having absolutely none of Kokichi’s bullshit and certainly isn’t even remotely on board with the idea of Kokichi being his “partner”. He’s just an annoying hanger-on that Shuichi really wishes would go away.

Shuichi:  “And the body discovery announcement woke you?”

Kaito:  “Yeah, that’s right. I heard it and rushed back here.”

Kaito’s looking away with that pained expression on his face as he says this. This might be him remembering how terrified he was at the possibility of it being Shuichi or Maki.

Kaito:  “I said I’m not lying! Tell him, Shuichi!”

Kokichi:  “No, Shuichi. In order to find the truth, you can’t be biased.”

Shuichi:  “…”

…Sadly it appears that Shuichi agrees with Kokichi here. I have no doubt that he believes Kaito’s telling the truth, but he doesn’t reassure Kaito of that. Apparently he thinks it’s not very Ultimate Detective of him to be saying things with no evidence, and right now he’s very much in Ultimate Detective mode.

Monotaro jumps in to help get evidence from the computer, which Monophanie claims is against the rules… but I don’t think it is, especially since Monokuma doesn’t come and try to stop him. I think that even if Miu’s plan had succeeded, in which case Miu would have tried to lie about the computer’s settings and Monotaro wouldn’t have been co-operative, Monokuma himself would have made sure everyone got the computer-related information they need. It’s the same principle as why he provides the Monokuma Files – he needs to give everyone just enough information to make the trial fair for both sides.

Kokichi:  “He’s doing his best for his dead mommy! I-I’m so touched… WAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”

…Really, Kokichi? You really need to overexaggerate a reaction so that you can lie to yourself about your feelings regarding this? Apparently his lying to himself about his own feelings is going into overdrive if he’s doing this here with things only indirectly related to what he’s actually having feelings about.

Shuichi:  (Kaito. He logged out ahead of us… No, it couldn’t be him.)

I’m doing this bit before checking the poison bottle so that Shuichi’s certainty of Kaito’s innocence isn’t based on actual evidence (because it really doesn’t take much evidence to prove Kaito couldn’t have done it) and is purely him choosing to believe unflinchingly in his best friend. I like it better that way.

Kokichi continues to show his impressive deflecting skills in response to Keebo being upset about Miu’s death:

Kokichi:  “He told us he couldn’t cry even if he wanted to! He went so far as to stage his dramatic reaction.”

Because obviously if someone deliberately stages a dramatic reaction, that means they don’t really care about whatever they’re pretending to be upset about, not even in the slightest, right? And that’s definitely only something Keebo is doing, not him, of course. This is some recursive deflection right here.

Tsumugi talks about when she witnessed Miu and how she didn’t tell Shuichi right away because she thought she was mistaken.

Kokichi:  “You’re only saying you were ‘mistaken’ so you don’t have to feel as guilty.”

Tsumugi:  “Huh?”

Kokichi:  “If you had been *positive* it was Miu, then you could have done something sooner… You could’ve prevented her death, y’know?”

Tsumugi:  “Th-That…”

Kokichi is apparently being his usual dickish self and trying to make Tsumugi feel guilty. Joke’s on you, Kokichi – Tsumugi doesn’t actually give a fuck that Miu died and is probably quite happy it happened.

But really, Kokichi’s claim that she’s saying that to feel less guilty is yet more recursive deflection of his deflection of his guilt. Geez, Kokichi.

Kaito happens to butt in on this continuing conversation to ask for more details about them hearing Keebo’s voice, to the point that he hears about the part where Shuichi and Tsumugi ran outside and immediately encountered Gonta. This is a fact that he uses to argue for Gonta’s innocence in the trial, so it’s neat that the writers put in this bit to establish that Kaito knows this even though he wasn’t witness to it himself. It’s also very important that Kaito wasn’t personally witness to it himself and only hears about it second-hand.

Kokichi:  “What about it though? Did you notice anything?”

Kaito:  “…”

Shuichi:  (I suppose not.)

Ouch. Kaito’s making an effort to gather information and figure stuff out, though, even if he’s not able to draw any conclusions! That said, he hasn’t been managing to pay attention to every conversation Shuichi’s been having, because there are some gaps in his knowledge that will become apparent during the trial.

Kokichi:  “If there’s poison and tricks prepared, then of course I’d investigate them ASAP.”

Shuichi:  “Is that—”

Kokichi:  “Oh, it’s not so that I can use them. I check in case someone else uses them.”

I somewhat believe that. He definitely would want to know what tools everyone else has to use against him – since he’s so convinced everyone else is an awful backstabber who’s out to get him – so that he can be prepared and defend himself as best as possible. Of course, since he’s been planning his own tricks, he also definitely did check them for his own purposes, in case they’d be useful to him.

Since he checked the poisons in Shuichi’s lab, I wonder if he also checked all those murder files. Shuichi and Maki did discuss how the whole point of them was supposedly to give people ideas for murder plans, so that seems like something Kokichi would also want to be aware of. Which is to say, given that one bit in chapter 3 that implied Kokichi might have memories of watching the Danganronpa 1 anime, if Kokichi did check every single one of the files including the very first one, then that might also have helped him piece things together like he did early on in this chapter.

Kokichi:  “By the way, I should tell you what symptoms this poison causes… It causes a small blood vessel under the conjunctiva to expode… which makes the whites of your eyes turn blood red.”

The way this is worded, it almost sounds like the thing about the poison causing bloodshot eyes isn’t on the warning label of the bottle and is just something Kokichi supposedly happens to know about it. However, Shuichi states in the trial that that was in fact on the label, so I guess he read it himself to confirm Kokichi’s claim.

But that’s kind of a shame, because it’d be pretty interesting if that weren’t the case and the label truly said nothing about bloodshot eyes. That would mean that Kokichi is telling a lie here that supposedly proves Kaito’s innocence in order to get people to stop suspecting him and move on to other topics in the trial. Which would be exactly the kind of reason Shuichi uses lies in trials – to get people to stop fixating on whatever seems like the most obvious possibility by claiming that it’s not possible, so that they can start considering other options and get to the real truth. It would make sense for Kokichi to do that here, since he’s only claiming he thinks it’s Kaito to be a dick, and in actuality he wants Shuichi to eventually reach the truth.

It’d also be neat, if we imagine that the poison didn’t cause bloodshot eyes and that Miu had succeeded in killing Kokichi, to think that Shuichi himself might use that very same lie in such a situation. He’d unflinchingly believe in Kaito’s innocence, but there’d be no way to prove it and get people to move onto talking about the Virtual World other than to tell a lie like this. Maki could even also get in on the lie – the two of them together could insist that as an assassin and a detective they just happen to know that fact about this particular poison.

Kokichi:  “Nee-heehee… am I doing a good job? Maybe it’s time you acknowledge me as your partner.”

Yeah, you just did a really helpful job of proving Shuichi’s actual partner innocent, now Kaito can safely investigate with Shuichi again without any problems and you can fuck off. Right?

(…since this is the last thing in the computer room I’m checking before they head back to the Virtual World, that’s actually what happens, so, um.)

Shuichi:  “I thought I remembered you saying that you *didn’t* want to be my partner.”

Kokichi:  “Hm? Did I? Well, sometimes I lie without thinking about it.”

I still do not get what the point is of this apparent implication that Kokichi genuinely does want to be Shuichi’s partner and is jealous of Kaito being his friend. It simply doesn’t have any relevance to anything meaningful about Kokichi’s character or anything he does outside of this one bit in case 4, since the writing obviously can’t go anywhere with it once he’s convinced everyone he’s an evil asshole, and it actively hinders the fact that he doesn’t end up using Shuichi as his accomplice. Just, why.

Kokichi:  “…The Virtual World. We should go there again.”

So at first, Kokichi seems quite on board with being one of the ones to go back into the Virtual World to investigate.

Kaito:  “If we go back to the Virtual World, we might find some new clues. With those, I might be able to clear my name!”

Kaito really wants to try and clear his name himself. He definitely believes Shuichi would be able to do it for him anyway, but he doesn’t want to have to rely on Shuichi for that and wants to be able to prove his own innocence!

…But, uh, sorry, Kaito, Shuichi’s already proven your innocence with evidence just from this room. You could’ve done that too if you’d noticed more. You’re not very good at this investigation thing.

Nearly everyone decides to go back in there, except Maki, who wants to keep an eye on Monotaro’s computer investigation, and of course Gonta.

Gonta:  “Gonta… search this place some more. This no time to be sleeping.”

He’s so bewildered as to why everyone would just go to sleep during a murder investigation! This also rather strongly hints that he really does see it as just sleeping – if he remembered the Virtual World’s events, even if he considered them a weird dream, surely he’d be able to make the connection that maybe that has something to do with how Miu died and that’s why everyone’s going back into that weird dream place.

Kokichi:  “Then, I’ll stay here too.”

And the moment Gonta says he’s staying, Kokichi immediately changes his mind and decides to stay as well.

Kokichi:  “But I’m busy too, y’know? I have to watch Maki in case she tries to do anything deceitful.”

Nope. That’s not why. He’s staying to keep an eye on Gonta and make sure he doesn’t get cold feet and confess to everyone because that would ruin the ~fun~. Or at least, it’d ruin Kokichi getting to draw this out and therefore paint himself as an evil sadist.

(Also there he goes yet again trying to make people distrust Maki when everybody has trusted her and she has done nothing deceitful for over a chapter now.)

Maki:  “Deceitful?”

Kokichi:  “Well, you and Kaito are pretty close, so you might do something deceitful for him, right?”

Okay, slightly better argument than just “she’s an assassin therefore she’s a terrible person”, but still, not why he’s staying. And that argument should also apply to him needing to keep an eye on Shuichi for the same reason. Also, Shuichi has already proven Kaito’s innocence, why can’t he just mention this. (Because this is a game and the players need to figure things out for themselves.)

Kokichi:  “…Good thing Gonta’s here with me. Your glare is too scary to handle alone! Gonta would risk his life to protect me from a murderer!”

FUCK YOU, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SAYING THIS WOULD DO TO A GONTA WHO REMEMBERED BEING A MURDERER.

On the one hand, this is the kind of thing Kokichi would have said under normal circumstances of Gonta not being a murderer. On the other hand, this comment, unlike the previous one I was Not Okay about, doesn’t really make sense as being Kokichi deflecting his own guilt. So all he’s doing here is choosing to have zero fucking empathy with how Gonta would be feeling and refusing to even make the slightest effort to go a little easier on him. In this particular moment Kokichi’s not especially being a coward and focusing on protecting his own conscience, which you’d think might make him more capable of considering others’ feelings, but no. Kokichi only cares about himself here.

Kaito:  “Hey! If you keep saying messed up crap like that, I’m gonna kick your ass into orbit!”

…Kaito’s only saying this to defend Maki from Kokichi treating her like a murderer. If he knew what was really going on, he’d want to kick Kokichi’s ass into the next galaxy.

(I like the space theming of Kaito’s threats, by the way.)

Kokichi:  “I don’t like violence. The Ultimate Supreme Leader would rather sneak around!”

Yes and that’s exactly why you got someone else to do the violent dirty work of killing someone so that your conscience can remain totally clean because it’s not like you’re a murderer, right???? (You’re a murderer.)

Kokichi:  “So anywaaay… I’ll leave the Virtual World to you, Shuichi.”

Shuichi:  “…”

Kokichi:  “But I’m not exaggerating when I say this class trial can only be solved by you, okay? Your talent can save the useless people here, y’know?”

Kaito:  “Who you calling useless!?”

Oh hey, here we go. Kokichi’s praising Shuichi. Which is A Thing he’s going to be doing a lot during this case… and it isn’t really about Shuichi at all.

For this particular instance of this, Kokichi doesn’t specifically mention anyone other than Shuichi, whom he’s technically talking to, but Kaito’s reaction makes it clear who this is really targeted at. Kaito’s been secretly feeling more and more useless this whole chapter thanks to the fact that he’s dying and that Shuichi seems to have grown strong enough to not really need his help any more. Kokichi has apparently picked up on this, and every single bit of him stressing that Shuichi is the only person who can save everyone is really him jabbing at Kaito’s feelings of inferiority and jealousy and trying to hurt him. He’s going to be doing this a lot, and… I kind of love it, because this isn’t just about Kokichi being a dick – this is the writers caring so much about contributing to Kaito’s character arc in even the subtlest of ways.

So watch me count the number of times this happens! Kokichi already did this once at the beginning of the investigation last time when he stressed how it’s Shuichi’s time to shine now that somebody’s dead, making this Kokichi Doing The Thing Count: 2.

All of Kokichi’s awfulness towards Gonta since the murder (or at least what would have been awfulness if Gonta had remembered) can be put down to his issues and him trying to deflect his guilt about being a murderer, meaning that while he’s still ultimately being a terrible person, there’s no active malice behind it. (There very definitely isn’t any kindness behind it either, mind you.)  But this? This isn’t about deflecting anything. This is just malice.

Granted, the entire point of Kokichi’s plan with this case (or at least this is what he’s telling himself) is to deliberately be incredibly cruel to everyone by throwing Gonta’s life away so that people will be convinced by his lie that he’s a sadistic bastard who enjoys making people suffer. This is then in itself for the purpose of backing up his later lie that he’s the mastermind (which is actually a really minor and mostly unnecessary part of his overall plan that does not remotely justify two deaths and all this suffering, but we’ll get into that later). But him jabbing at Kaito here cannot be a part of that plan, because he’s being subtle about it. Most of the time he’s going to be praising Shuichi without even mentioning Kaito at all, which means that nobody is going to catch on to his intentions and go, “man, you’re being such a dick to Kaito, guess that helps prove you really are an evil sadist”. So that’s not the point of this. He’s trying to hurt Kaito purely for the sake of hurting Kaito.

Why is Kokichi trying to hurt Kaito specifically? Because he doesn’t like that Kaito’s philosophy about believing in people is so opposite to his and so he wants to be a dick to Kaito in particular, presumably??? Maybe he’s still bitter about Kaito calling him “naïve” last trial or something? Kokichi definitely seems like the kind of person who’d get mad because he can’t beat someone in an argument and deal with it by trying to get petty revenge on them in a different way.

And I feel like this is something most people would brush off as not that big of a deal even if they did pick up on the fact that all of Kokichi’s praising of Shuichi is actually targeting Kaito, because it’s Kaito, and he’s supposed to be tough and thick-skinned and not let this kind of thing get to him, right? But no – Kaito is a lot more emotionally vulnerable right now that he’d ever let on, and Kokichi knows that and is deliberately exploiting that just to try and hurt him, and it will get to Kaito far more than he’d like to admit.

---

[Next post]

[ruffiorocks]

Supergirl Rant on double standards (because I'm bored and went down a YouTube rabbit hole!)

I've been watching some Supergirl season one reviews on YouTube and one guy has made some valid points in season 1 I've never considered before.

1. In the Episode 'Human for a day' Jonn actually killed Gem (the alien) at the end of the Episode. So Supergirl has had it's characters Killing their enemies pretty much since the beginning, regardless of the whole non killing thing they like to portray.

2. In the (next episode?) Where the White Martian appeared Jonn is about to kill it when Kara gives him a hope speech about not betraying who he is/not going down that road etc. So..... That was a bit odd considering Jonn did kill someone just one episode ago. Did the writers forget that?

In later seasons we have Jonn going down his path of peace etc. But then he completely rejects all of that and out right kills Manchester Black after disarming him. Manchester couldn't do anything once he was disarmed. The writers had Kara ask where Manchester was and look horrified for all of 5 seconds before going to the next scene in the hospital and Kara telling Jonn it's all good and he can still be a man of peace 🤔.

When Jonn kills people it seems to be glossed over.

Jonn intends to kill the White Martian as revenge and no one cares, Lena goes to kill Edge who poisened children as framed her for it and it's like 'Holy sh*t! She's bad!!'

Now also in season one, we had some pretty laxed use of Kryptonite on Kara. The first ever episode she is shot out of the sky using Kryptonite darts. She even wakes up to Kryptonite cuffs on. Alex doesn't remove them until she wakes up. Later she discovers the DEO have a room with built in Kryptonite, which she's happy about? Why did the exist? Jonn even owns a Kryptonite knife he (and I quote) say's "I really liked that knife!" When he asks Kara, THE KRYPTONIAN if she managed to get it back??? Yes I'm sure when she was fighting her aunt and her troops she was thinking about finding that knife, carrying it back to the DEO with her? I mean come on Jonn!

I mean I understood the DEO having Kryptonite, that made sense, because you know you might have rogue Kryptonians. Oh right that happened! But in season one's use of it was pretty standard.

Come season 2 and we have Superman getting his spandex in a twist because the DEO owns Kryptonite. I mean it's not like rogue Kryptonians ever sho.....oh wait hang on THAT HAPPENED! It's also not like Kara has ever gone of the rails.... Oh no wait THAT HAPPENED! So to make the DEO and Hank look good the writers have Jonn give the stash to Superman. I mean it's not like that decision is ever going to come back and bite them in the ass. It's not like there are going to be Kryptonian world killers arriving. Oh no wait, that happened!

So Lena (who appears to be the only non dumb ass during the Reign situation) makes manufactured Kryptonite to hold the World Killing Alien who enjoys killing people and has done so and just happens to be basically holding Sam hostage. What do you know? Supergirl finds out that Lena used Kryptonite and she blows a gasket! She also blows a gasket when Lena gives her a stash to defeat the WORLD KILLER when she has no other way to defeat her! Kara who apparently had no issue whatsoever previously with the DEO she barely knew having Kryptonite. Kara who was OK with getting rid of the DEO stash even though the last big bad was a bunch of rogue Kryptonians. I mean it's not like that's going to happen again right? Right?! But her best friend who has never shown any intention of wanting to hurt Kryptonians has some manufactured Kryptonite to help keep Sam at bay WITH Sam's permission and all hell breaks loose? Kara suddenly says she has to be in control of all the Kryptonite on Earth, a notion she has never been arsed with before. This is just the same stance Superman took when be turned up, but Kara never seemed bothered. Never agreed with that part, Kara who has gone of the rails wants to be in control of ALL Kryptonite? What happens if she went all Red K Kara again or simply got bored of being be hero ? The DEO doesn't have Kryptonite to keep her at bay anymore. They didn't have any to deal with Red Daughter, Red Daughter is the one had it. Led could hurt Mon El but no one said anything about him being in control of all the Led in the world. Jonn is deadly afraid of fire, but he isn't in control of all the fire in the world. Also Lena made a good point when she told Kara that lots of things could her, but she isn't demanded control of all the guns in the world. It's only ever an issue if it concerns Kara. Don't even get me started in the stupidly of Jonn declaring the DEO would no longer use lethal weapons! That was one of the most ridiculous actions on the show.

It just seems like Kryptonite was only a problem when it was Lena who had it, Kara even went off on one because Lena had the audacity to make a forcefield Kara didn't have all access to. Yet the irony is that Lena was actually the ONLY one who never intended for it to hurt Supergirl in any way, not like the DEO did. The DEO got a free pass, but Lena? Nope! The double standard is truly annoying.

We're all probably supposed to forget the fact that Jonn just happened to have Kryptonite cuffs on him when Kara came to stop him killing the white Martian. Something Kara never questions, like why did he have them at all? Just so Kara couldn't stop him from murdering the white Martian? He leaves her in those cuffs the whole time she's giving him her hope speech and he KNOWS how much that's got to be hurting Kara. Kara never seemed to take issue with the fact the DEO used Kryptonite like a leash whenever they wanted to.

Now let's circle back to Jonn again, when he kills people it's glossed over and not made a big deal about, probably because he's one of the designated heroes and lots of bigger things are happening so people don't focus on it. But Lena? People have preconceived notions about her because her last name is Luthor, so people are looking for her to mess up, every move is scrutinized not only by the audience but also the characters. Lena shot Corbin to save Alex's life and not only did Lena haters condemn her for this but later James would bring it up as a reason Lena is bad when trying to convince Kara to give up on her. So the Lena haters were totally cool with Jonn and his killing of Gem to save Alex and the DEO, (probably still unnecessary though) but Lena shoots Corbin who was about to kill Alex (while Kara wasn't there) and that's apparently the worst thing ever and I'm still seeing it as a reason Lena is bad.

Lena in the last episode shot Lex and she is being condemned for it. Lex the guy who has already murdered lots of people, constantly tried to kill Superman, was responsible for deaths of many Innocent people, oh and constantly tries to have Lena assassinated, killed his guards, oh and was about to kill all the people in Argo City and it's 'Holy sh*t! Lena is evil!!!' BUT Jonn kills Manchester Black who although bad wasn't half as bad as Lex and could have simply been taken alive and this is acceptable?? Actually no, scratch that! It's not acceptable or unacceptable it's just IGNORED!

How about the time Alex beat the living crap out of Maxwell? Never commented on.

How about the time Kara killed Reign? (Pre time travel) The world killer that had actually killed lots of people? No one cared because Kara went back in time and reversed it. But that led to the creation of Red Daughter who would later kill lots of people. No one cares though because it's Kara the designated hero. Lena though? She does the same thing, but can't go back in time to fix it (I mean yes Lex is alive again but Lena and the other don't know that) and she's just bad??

Basically the designated heroes can do ANYTHING they like, even kill and use Kryptonite but Lena? Who has probably saved the world as much as the 'heroes' have does the same thing and she's judged bad not only by the viewers but also the other characters. It's makes no sense other than the fact her last name is Luthor and she simply tends to work alone.

I'm not saying everything Lena does is good, she makes mistakes, she's not perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect character, no matter how much they want to portray Kara as one. The whole Adam situation was a bad move for Lena, but it was consenual. It's forgotten though that Col Haley wanted her to do the exact same thing at the DEO and Lena refused.

Lena was pro gun, something that was not at all out of character. Lena is constantly a target and the fact is Supergirl can't ways be there. James was anti gun, but he wasn't ever a target, the only time he was wasn't even about him, it was about Lena being forced to speed up the Harun El. Lena is condemned for being pro gun though, yet Alex basically has a love affair with her alien gun and this is OK?

Lena is bad because she had a bad family, but Winn has a murderous crazy dad and he's OK? Kara had murderous family members and she's OK? Alex's father is the reason the alien registery got out and Alex is still OK? Brainy has a bad family and has even said he was on a dark path buts he's OK? Mon Els mother tried to conquer Earth but Mon El is OK? General Lane had it out for Supergirl but Lucy is OK? Jonn's bad brother has turned up but i bet Jonn will still be OK?

I wonder what people would think or Lena if her last name was wasn't Luthor? She's saved the alien population more than most of the Super friends have, she's saved Supergirls ass more than once, she saved James from dying, she helped to save Sam, she saved Argo City from extinction TWICE, she even rid the world of Lex Luthor. (She thinks).

The sad thing is that they will probably make Lena bad now, it'll be so cliche and it will portrayed as though this was always the inevitable and everything she did led up to it. Making her Lex 2.0 is just boring.

Anyway that's this week's rant 😅.

[gogglesandgadgets]

&. BASICS

FULL NAME: Alice Halabi.

NICKNAMES: If you call her anything other than Alice, her eyes will burn holes through your abdomen.

FACE CLAIM: Jade Thirlwall (My precious Little Mix bby!!!).

AGE: Twenty-five.

SEXUALITY: Anyone she finds attractive. She doesn’t like labels.

DATE OF BIRTH: October 12th.

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Female. She/her.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single as a sour cream n onion pringle.

OCCUPATION: Behavioral counselor. She helps people with substance abuse “issues”, among other things.

&. PERSONALITY

USUAL HANG OUTS: The local bar near her house. The club downtown (sometimes with her friends, sometimes alone if she’s having a rough day). Her bedroom. Her roommates room (her presence isn’t always welcome, but hey... when she’s bored, she’s bored). The balcony of her apartment.

HOBBIES: Reading books on psychology (fiction.... non-fiction.... anything that makes her go ‘wow, this looks exciting’). Watching the same six movies on repeat. Starting a tv show and then ditching it three episodes in. Dancing while she cleans her apartment. Going for runs when she has the time (usually in the morning, but let’s be honest...... sometimes there’s no motivation and ya girl has to sleep in). 

FIVE POSITIVE TRAITS:

Practical

Determined

Adventurous

Curious

Faithful

FIVE NEGATIVE TRAITS:

Distracted

Condescending

Snippy

Blunt

Reckless

DRINKS, SMOKES, & DRUGS: Yes to drinks. Smoking... she’ll smoke weed every so often, but not daily. And no to drugs. Yeah, she open to new things, but part of her job is to help people with substance abuse. She’s seen how it affects people and doesn’t like it.

&. VERSES

Main verse: She’s a behavioral therapist who thinks that helping other people will make her feel better about the bad decisions she still makes. 

The End (it’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine): She’s just trying to survive and doesn’t really believe there’s a cure out there. If she makes it through the night, that’s a victory on her end. 

Supernatural (so what’s it like? being human): Say hello to my little witch who will gladly hex you if you do her wrong.

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

Some person she met at the bar: She invited them back to her house, they had some fun, they woke up the next morning and she kicked them out. And yet, that doesn’t seem to be enough to keep this person away (in a 100% non-creepy, I’m just super interested in you) kind of way. (Main-verse or supernatural verse).

Friends with benefits: The connection really speaks for itself. It’s someone she calls/texts whenever she’s feeling some type of way. “Hey, I’m drunk and I need someone I can trust to satisfy me”. But it’s strictly a sexual friendship....... right? (Main verse or supernatural verse).

A potential future love-interest: Alice is terrified of commitment. I was thinking this person could be her end-game, but it starts off as “I have feelings for you and don’t know how to deal with them”. (Any verse).

PLATONIC.

Her best friend: They’ve been friends since high school and while she’s stopped talking to most people from that time, these two are still inseparable. She can call them when she’s having a crisis or when she just wants to have a night out in town. They also help keep her in check (honestly, homegirl knows how to make poor choices).

Her roommate: They can be best friends ^ or worst enemies. Maybe she shows up in their room sometimes and annoys the crap out of them? Or the roommate doesn’t know how to pick up their shit and, Alice being a neat freak, flips out on them a lot? Or they’re more acquaintances than friends (aka she can tolerate them). One of the love-interests from above? Lemme know!

Someone she’s been with since the beginning of the end: A person she found when the world was going to shit and she lost some of her family members. She’s kind of a difficult person to get along with, but maybe she has a soft spot for them. Maybe they saved her life and they constantly tease her about how she owes them something? Maybe they have a crush on her and - while she doesn’t want to admit it - she might like them too? So many possibilities.

ENEMIES.

A bartender she cannot stand: She likes to cause chaos... so why would a bartender who needs to keep the area calm like her? And why would she enjoy them? When she drinks a little too much, she can get a bit..... combative. Especially if someone says something confrontational or touches her without her permission (hey, she’ll gladly let you touch her. Just don’t be a dick about it).

An ex: Give me the ex that didn’t work out/the relationship that ended poorly. Maybe they work together or see each other in passing a lot and it’s just..... the two butting heads all the damn time. Or they could even still talk/be acquaintances, they just don’t like each other and are still salty about the break-up. Or maybe one wanted to break up and the other didn’t, so it’s like........ I hate you but I don’t. All the possibilities.

Someone she’s frenemies with: !!!!!!! “Hey I hope you fall down a ditch! Love you, see you later!” Someone she can’t stand at times, but also someone she can count on. You know..... that one person you wouldn’t trust with your deep/dark personal secrets, but if you asked them to hide a body or go out for the night they’re automatically game.

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

TBD.

PLATONIC.

TBD.

ENEMIES.

TBD.

[yoongiandchiminie]

P R E S S U R E { 8 }

;series;

{Part 1} {Part 7}

Pairing: Reader X Yoongi

Word Count: 6,181

Genre: Romance, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Cursing, Smut

Summary: After dating for almost 3 years, the armys and Yoongi’s label have found out about your relationship. Now you have to deal with it in your extraordinarily normal life.

The vacation was a dream. That’s really all I could say about it. It flew by so quickly that I could barely even depict a memorable moment from the hundreds that probably happened. However, we ended up in the hotel for the second part of it as people had found out we were in Disney.

The fourth day there, we were mobbed by a bunch of people once they had spotted Yoongi’s mint green hair. We decided to cut ourselves off from social media for the time away and just to focus on the happier aspects of life with each other. The break was nice, but turning it back on to see warning messages made me highkey regret doing so.

Being cut off from reality for the second half really did wonders for us. We ended up talking a lot and uh- not talking. We swam a lot too. Having down time with just the two of us was a rarity, so I was kind of thankful we were pushed out of the park. We got our time in there and enjoyed it (Along with the cute as hell pictures we took). I was just- happy.

Instead of driving back up, Yoongi insisted we fly and he’d get some company or something to have my car there before we were even back in New York. I’d refused at first, but the amount of complaining he put in to not sit in a car for a straight day again was too immense to ignore. There was a point where he threatened to fly up alone and when I realized he was serious, I gave in.

We quickly ran through the airports once someone yelled, “Suga!” and it just freaked me out. Yes, it’d been called out before, but after a week away (Except for that terrible day) it felt strange. It was tough for me to accept that Yoongi was famous, as weird as that sounded. I handled it very well, but coming to the realization that so many people just wanted a smile from him was one I didn’t take too well.

The flight was boring enough as always when I ended up alone. He passed out within the first half hour once we were in the sky and suddenly I was lost in the silence about the future. I’d have to call that guy when I got back and take care of my future. I was finally at the point in my life where I was able to pursue happiness and this came along. It fit right into the picture but actually pushing myself off to get there was a leap my anxiety was holding me from.

It was once we were back home that everything truly set in. Once I was laying in my own bed alone that I realized what was happening. Yoongi had gone to shower and do whatever he needed to which left me just to my thoughts. It was late at night now and all I wanted to do was sleep, but I was just consumed inside the ifs and buts of whatever could happen. I hadn’t even texted my friends I was home when I decided to call the guy from Modest.

Within three rings he picked up and it was the most excited I’d every heard anyone from getting a phone call from me. He was so obnoxiously chipper and eager as we spoke. It almost reeked of desperation was he set up a meeting for us tomorrow. He said he’d had a conference room in his hotel on hold for the past week awaiting my call. After giving me the address I was quick to get off of the phone before he arranged my entire life for me.

Once the call was over, Yoongi came into the room completely drenched because he’d heard me on the phone and wanted to tell me how proud he was as soon as he could. I shot the Slow Burn group chat a text about what time I’d be picking them up tomorrow. It was followed by one of me regretting saying I’d drive and begging one of them to do it. Luke answered quickly and said he’d drive, answering my prayers in an instant.

“Do you wanna get takeout and stay in?” he had a coy smile towards me in this empty house, “Your mom is staying at a friends tonight, so we have free roam of this place.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a well deserved kiss upon him. “All alone?” I whispered, peppering kisses around his jawline. “Then we can be as loud as we want.”

“You wanna fuck already?” he was blunt, as always. “I mean- sure, but I’m kinda hungry, babe.”

I couldn’t help but to laugh at him. I let go of him and moved around his body, throwing a towel that was discarded in front of my door. He caught it and I pulled the door shut to leave him to put on clothes. For some reason the only thing on my mind was making grilled cheese, despite everything I had to think about.

Even as I cooked he was attached to my hip and it was quite endearing. As I stood in front of the stove, he rested his head on his shoulder and his hair tickled the bottom of my face. He arms wrapped around my waist, delicately landing on the swing of my hips. I couldn’t help but to giggle at it, but everytime I looked at him his eyes were closed as he hummed a little tune to himself.

The moment the grilled cheese was done and on a plate, he was running across the room to sit at the small table my mom and I had set up in the living room. Now he was playing a little rhythm on the table, his mouth watering as I made my way over. It was pretty funny how quickly he ate the entire things and I wondered just how long he’d been this hungry.

Yoongi grabbed my empty plate and his own. Being the kind gentleman he was, he cleaned them both before jogging back over to me with a blank look on his face. Once I stood up he ran his fingers through my hair and his face changed into a small smile. “Now?” I laughed a little before looking up to him and wiping a crumb from his chin.

“Now I’m kind of sleepy.” I smirked at him and pulled from his grasp. “I’m gonna nap.” I heard a short breath escape his mouth as I left the room but it wasn’t until I was about to shut the door that I heard him jogging in too.

“I’m always down for a nap.” he shut the door and grabbed my hand, falling back onto the bed with me on top of him. I wiggled off of him and instead next to him, facing away. He lifted himself up and placed a kiss on my temple before snuggling in behind me.

Sadly when I woke up it was due to the bright sun shining in my opened window. Normally before I sleep I put the blinds down due to the light that came through. I woke up completely confused and managed to knock Yoongi’s lose arm off of my side where it had been. He was sprawled across the best and I grabbed for my almost dead phone to check the time. It was about 8 am the next day.

The meeting was in 2 hours and I knew I had to get ready now. I didn’t intend to dress up for the event but my anxiety was slowly getting to me. The entire shower I took was filled with thoughts of what could go wrong if I don’t dress nicely instead of like a bum. I rushed out of the shower and ran into my room. I patted myself down and my throwing of the towel in Yoongi’s direction was the thing to finally wake him up. He shook as the moisture hit his face and sat up with a gasp, probably worried I dropped water on his face again.

He got up and stretched, walking past me towards the kitchen. I could hear everything he did in the silent house. I knew my mom was asleep still, she probably got home late, but Yoongi for a quiet guy was being so damn loud. He was opening the fridge and pouring water and then opening every cabinet to find the non existent food.

He came back in a few minutes later with a bowl of cereal and a tired look on his cute little face. “The meetings in an hour and a halfish right? Who’s picking you up? Puke?” I sighed at his comment and nodded yes. “Are you sure I can’t come? I’m good at these business meetings and stuff, babe. I don’t want you to get fucked over.”

“You know I’m not dumb, Yoongs. I’ve been pushing this deal off for so long so if the slightest thing is wrong, you know I won’t do it.” I jumped into my skinny jeans and tightened the cuffs on my shirt. I grabbed my makeup bag next and sat in front of the full body mirror on the floor to get to work.

“You better not blow this away because you’re nervous. Just think of everything you��ve written and poured your soul into. The world deserves to hear it all. I know you never even factored in the idea that this could be a career, but it’s going to be amazing. Slow Burn plays some nice music in various garages, so now it’s time for an upgrade.” Yoongi seemed very smug after his little speech. He always got like this when he knew he did something right and I knew it was the absolute cutest thing. It got a bit annoying when we were in arguments, but right now I appreciate it. Every time he’d show me how much he cared about me made me go crazy, in a good way. I was so in love with him that it made my heart skip a beat during times like these.

As I continued to get ready, he had disappeared from the room. I ended up settling on a black peasant top with lace sleeves and blue jeans so my entire appearance wasn’t as emo as I used to be. Everyone had those phases, okay?

Yoongi came back a few minutes later with breakfast and I was thoroughly confused at how he hadn’t set off the smoke alarm. The damn thing went off anytime there was something on the stove, but he didn’t seem to have the issues I did. Must’ve been magic. I thanked him and he just waved me off. Yoongi placed a kiss on my temple before getting back into my bed and snuggling up with a blanket that was laying in my spot.

With almost comedic timing, a honk woke him from his daze. I waved goodbye and I knew he was already probably back to sleep. After triple checking I had my keys (And looks good, of course) I ran out to Luke’s silver car waiting in the middle of the street.

I jumped into the backseat and pushed Julianna into the middle. Everyone else was already in the car since I lived the farthest away after moving and they all looked tired to say the least. If it wasn’t obvious, none of my friends were exactly morning people. Anthony was completely passed out in the passenger seat and drool was slowly dribbling down his chin. Before it could get any lower I grabbed one of the napkins I’d stored in the back and tucked it into his shirt so he wouldn’t appear messier than he already did.

Luke snickered at me and nodded a hello instead of speaking. Alicia was sitting with her headphones on and Julianna was drifting in and out of sleep as he drove. The music was on low, but I could hear the sounds of The Used in the car. It was one of Luke’s favorite bands and normally the band he listened to when he was nervous.

It hadn’t really occurred to me before that I wasn’t the only one affected with this. Of course I thought about all of them, but I’d been so focused on my nerves and anxiety that thinking about how scared they were was out of it. My friends were risking everything as much as I was and maybe it was time I came to terms with that.

The drive was only a few towns over so we basically had to take the parkway to get to it. Everyone slowly was waking up for the day and one by one I could see their anxieties rising about the situation. Everyone had their own little ways of dealing with it and they were enacting them right now. Julianna was over prepping her looks and such, Luke was lowly singing along to his music,  Alicia was just ramblings, and Anthony was attempting to order me around. Typical.

He was going on and on about how I needed to keep a level head during this meeting and not be a fuck up basically. I knew I’d be okay. As much as I bitched and bitched, I acted well under pressure.  Being the mom friend tends to give you that talent.

I envied Luke’s perfect parking as we got out of the car. I took a deep breath before walking towards the back of it and calling my friends together around me one last time before this meeting.

“We’re gonna be okay.” Was the only thing I could manage while trying to calm myself down without anyone else realizing I was freaking out. I nodded towards them and led the group into the hotel. Winston was standing in the lobby waiting for us and the man had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on when he spotted us.

“Oh hello!” he cheered, his accent accentuating his o’s. “I can’t believe you all showed up!”

“We said we would, right?” Anthony half questioned me and I just shrugged.

“After my run in with Y/N a bit ago, I wasn’t too sure!” I awkwardly smiled and extended my hand. He shook it hard and internally I sighed. “Alright, well let’s get going! My boss is inside the meeting room via skype waiting for us!”

The way he spoke just made me- cringe. I knew my friends felt it too, but they wouldn’t comment on it. Hopefully fucking Anthony would hold his tongue during this meeting and let me make the deals before he got us kicked out. That was normally what he was good at. Pissing people off.

Winston led us through the hotel and all I could focus on was my friends chatter behind me. They were all whispering around me about hoping I could handle this and such. Instead of flipping out on them, I took the smarter path and completely ignored them. Yep.

The room was vacant of people but set up with three computer screens. Two were lit up with two different men and the other wasn’t on. Maybe he was late or ditched it all together. The feeling in my stomach was telling me I should have done the latter, but I know blowing this chance would be the only thing I’d hear about for months to come.

“Welcome!” the man on the middle screen exclaimed as a Winston directed us each to our seats around the rounded table. “My name is Eddie Evans and I’m the president of the sector of Modest that would love to sign you.” A flutter went through my chest once he spoke the word ‘sign’. “There’s just a few things we have to go over.”

The other man on the screen to Eddie’s left had a nice smile on his face and even through the screen I could feel his friendly aura. “My name is Chris Luna and if you chose to sign, I’ll become your manager. We’ll work out the details of our meeting later on.”

Then we talked. They went over what was expected of us and what we wanted from them. They needed us all to quit our jobs and school as well. We needed to first sign a non disclosure agreement and then contracts that we could be willing to go to London for meetings and possibly to record. A studio would be set up in New York and London for us to practice, write, and record in.

It was all overwhelming, but I knew this would right. I knew this would make me happy.

As the meeting came to a close once all of the contracts were signed, we all got up to leave but Winston asked me to stay behind for a moment. Everyone made jokes as they made their ways out, but I knew something weird was up.

“Take a seat again.” he spoke, shutting the door behind. “I was made aware of your pre-existing contracts with Big Hit Entertainment due to your “relationship” with Min Yoongi.” The moment he put air quotes around the words relationship I wanted to snap. I wanted to freak out right then and there, but I knew I would ruin everything. I just had to take it. “We have a representative with us to just work out a few of those details.”

Then on the third screen that remained dark the entire time was him. Nam Hyungsik was on the screen and I was pissed I couldn’t avoid him for any longer. He was one of the higher ones at Big Hit in the relationships department and was always very wary of me. To put it into better terms, he hated my guts just for making Yoongi happy.

“Hello Ms. Y/L/N. How are you?” The sarcasm in his voice was so annoying. “We just want to make sure that this whole thing with you doesn’t change your contract with us. You still aren’t allowed to speak of the same things and try to avoid speaking of him as much as possible. If he’s asked about by an interviewer, say something nice and change the subject.”

He went on for about ten minutes about my rules and regulations. He basically kept repeating the same things over and over. I kept in my sighs and sour faces, simply nodding along. A part of me felt like crying for some reason and maybe it was just the sensitivity that I possessed. Him shoving this contract in my face felt like another invasion of privacy and it was just hurting for no good reason. I’d get over it. I always did.

The meeting ended with me resigning the contract and storming out of the room. My friends were lounging around all smiley in the lobby and I simply grabbed Luke’s keys from his hands and told them to come on. As much as I enjoyed driving in general, I liked it when I was angry.  My mind was removed from whatever was running through it and focused on the road in front of me.

They all paraded me with questions as they made plans for the dinner celebration that night. It was pretty obvious what it was about and when I told them the car was filled with a unanimous sigh.

“They’re such fucking assholes, I don’t get it.” I could see Alicia cross her arms in my rear view mirror and it made me laugh. “Don’t let this get to you, Y/N. We just got a fucking record deal and you’re caught up in this.”

“Yeah, shake it off bro.” Luke added, punching my shoulder. I pulled it in towards myself and made a sour face, to show the bit of pain he just provided me with. “Stop being so sensitive. Mentally and physically.” He was right, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing so.

“You know what?” I reached over and turned down the radio, putting the car in park at the red light. I grabbed Luke’s phone quickly and went into his library, playing our song Tonight and turning it up. “We just signed a fucking record deal!”

Then we all sang along and the only word I could use to describe it was amazing. This what Yoongi would say “daebak” to. Hearing our instruments flood the speakers and us all scream the lyrics we’d repeated for what felt like forever. Now they could be sang by whoever decided to listen and the truth of that made me want to cry. Music was fucking beautiful.

We made plans to all meet up later for dinner at a Hibachi restaurant a few towns over to celebrate. It was gonna be a small thing for us and our closest friends and family as a celebratory thing. I was dropped off first as I lived the farthest and Luke slid into the driver's seat, his long limbs floating over the console. I watched Ant climb over the back. The laziness they all possessed was somewhat alarming and would probably get them hurt one day, but what could I truly do about it? Right.

The front door was unlocked and my mother's car was nowhere to be seen. I slowly opened the door and spoke, “Hello?” only to find Yoongi on my laptop on the couch with the TV on full blast. “What a thing to walk into.” I said in a small tone, fully aware he couldn’t hear me.

“Did ya’ do it?” he called out while muting the TV and stretched his limbs, using his hand to beckon me over. I nodded and a soft smile appeared on his face. He used his other hand that wasn’t extended to pull out a small confetti cannon that I knew I’d be annoyed to clean up late at night after we both forgot about it.

After realized I wasn’t going to walk over to him, he jumped to his feet and ran at me. The moment he jumped onto me for a hug was the moment I thought I was really going to die. It wasn’t as if he was heavy, I was just so weak and we both knew it. It didn’t stop him from pushing me into the wall and keeping me in a tight lock for a good minute.

“I’m so proud of you.” he whispered into my hair, kissing the top of my head.  “Ah, my girl did it!” With that he couldn’t contain his excitement and lifted me up, spinning me in a circle. Sadly we were right against the wall and his lack of thinking made me knock over a plant, but he didn’t seem to notice.

He put me on the ground and it always amazed me how he was never out of breath after all that movement. If it was me, I’d probably be dead. I knew I’d have to tell him about Big Hit reaching out for me because he’d eventually be informed of it and it’d start an argument I could avoid. He just- he looked so happy right now and I knew I was about to ruin it.

“There is uh- Something else I need to tell you.” I began to stutter as I got nervous and he easily picked up on it. He furrowed his eyebrows in my direction and made his way back to the couch, sensing this could be important. He turned off the TV as I took a seat as far as I could from him while being on the same couch and swiveled my body forwards instead of towards him. “After the meeting was over I was held back for a moment due to my contract with Big Hit. They kept me for a bit to re discuss and affirm my contract.”

As I spoke I watched his face get progressively more annoyed and it ended with it in his hands. “You- You still there?” I whispered and after another three minutes of silence, he let out a long sigh before jolting onto his feet. He started pacing around the small living room and he pulled out his phone, rapidly typing away. “Yoongi?” I called again.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here. I’m just pissed off. That’s all.” he waved me off and went back to aggressively typing away on his phone. I kicked off my shoes and tucked my knees into my chest, sighing along with my new enclosure. I began to rock myself back and forth and take deep breaths to try to cut out the angry noises he was producing in this moment.

If I watched him I knew I’d probably get upset about the situation. It wasn’t too big of a deal, but it was definitely enough to get us both riled up. I could just hear him in the back of my pushed thoughts. He was on the phone now and yelling in Korean so I had no clue what he could possibly be saying. I just knew it was angry. “Hey.” I spoke as he hung up the phone and began dialing a new number. “Please calm down. I- I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

I could feel his eyes glance at me a few times during his next angry phone call, but I continued retreating into myself. I mumbled out a few more apologies and tried to still my breathing. It wasn’t like I was hyperventilating, but I could feel my chest building up to do so. I was crying by this point but it was so muffled I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t feel the sensation hitting my knees.

I wasn’t sure how much time was passing. I could just hear Yoongi yelling things I couldn’t understand. I was really only snapped back to reality when I felt his arms reach around me and untangle my limbs from being so close together. He maneuvered me around so that I was in his arms now. My face was in his chest and my arms dangled below my face.

“Ulji mala.” he kept repeating above me, which I could only recognize as “Don’t cry” in Korean. He spoke under his breath as he repeated it and rubbed my back. “Oh, baby, calm down.” he finally spoke in English. “I just overreacted, don’t-” he sighed and gave up on speaking to me.

In the moment I wasn’t too sure as to why I was freaking out the way I did. My emotions had been running so rampant lately and it was starting to piss me off. I never used to let my anxiety control me the way it had been and it seemed when everything was going right, something was still wrong. “Don’t get upset because I was yelling, I know I probably scared you or something.” I looked up at him and it seemed his anger had died down, turning into a pout now. “Smile or somethin’.” he whispered in my direction.

“Is it all okay?” I pondered out loud, making eye contact with him. His facial expression got a bit darker and I was fully aware he was ready to lie to me to make me feel better.

“They won’t let your contract go and I’m afraid that it’ll fuck things up for you now.” He was being blunt in this moment and I thoroughly appreciated it. There was no way I needed sugar coating in this moment.

“So-” I cleared my throat, fearing the words that were going to come out next. We both knew it was coming, but I knew he’d never address it. “Do you want to break up?”

Yoongi was taken back for a moment and squinted his eyes at me. He didn’t create any distance between our bodies and instead kept us close. “Do I what?” he questioned, probably hoping I wasn’t asking what he knew I was. “Is that a fucking joke?”

“I’m just in the way with contracts and-”

“What the fuck do contracts have on us? They have nothing on us.” he scoffed and now broke all physical contact with me to stand up and pace my living room.  “You think that’ll fix all our problems? We couldn’t even do another secret relationship, especially now that you’re making music. We’re already fucking trapped, Y/N, you can’t let them get in your pretty little head. Giving in won’t solve our problems.”

“But it-”

“No but. Don’t even try to break up with me again.” He was rude with the way he cut me off and responded, but I knew that I’d truly pissed him off. I’d brought this up in the past before and he’d absolutely lost it. He was mad at me for hours for thinking it and each time I said it, I promised I’d never do it again. Except, then I’d do it again and he’d blow another fuse.

I knew he wasn’t being possesive or anything of that sort with how quickly he shut it down. He just knew I was suggesting it because I was afraid and for all of the wrong reasons. I knew if the situation ever arose where we didn’t want to be together came up, he’d let me go. Probably not without a fight, but he would want what’s best for me.

“I won’t…” I mumbled to him, standing up and grabbing his wrist. He stopped his pacing and turned towards me, his eyes focusing on my own.

“You know-” he grunted, for some reason getting caught up in his own feelings. “I love you so much. Right, Y/N?” I nodded and let go of him. In an instant he pulled me tight into his chest, running his hands through my hair. “Don’t- Don’t break my heart when it doesn’t need to be done.”

On the brighter side of the spectrum, it would probably always be him that was best for me. The amount of love and joy Yoongi fed into my life was insane. The amount that I loved him overwhelmed me every day and the real kicker was that he loved me back. I was just- lost sometimes, but thankfully so was he. For two people that really had their lives together, we were both a fucking mess.

I looked up to him and placed my hands around his neck, tiptoeing so our faces were level. “I never will.” I promised, kissing his lips softly. It was a simply kiss, lingering a little bit. His eyes met mine as soon as they were open and before I could land on the flats of my feet again, he pulled me in for another kiss.

It lingered again and he began to walk towards me, causing me to back up with his movements. He didn’t continue just one kiss and instead Yoongi kept pulling away, but coming back in for another one almost instantly after. The next one he stopped and pulled on my lip for a minute before pulling away. I opened my eyes and looked into his and they’d become hooded and darker.

“We should celebrate, yeah?” his voice was huskier as he backed me into my bedroom. My face was hot and so was- fuck. Fuck. Yoongi was also so fucking hot and fuck. “Right, baby girl? Celebrate? I know you can use your words. Come on~.” he teased me for having no response and kissed a line from my lips to my ear, “Speak to me.”

“Right, daddy.” I whispered to him as he continued to trail kisses down to my neck. He settled on a spot and slowly lowered me back, the level of my bed making it difficult to simply drop me onto it. He was being gentle even though I knew every bone in his body was fighting him on it.

“You’re just so- fuck.” Yoongi took the words straight out of my thoughts as he reached down and pulled my shirt over my head. I repeated the motion with him as he quickly undid my jeans before yanking those off as well. He let me go down on the bed and stood off, stepping out of his own sweatpants. He lowered himself again and hovered above me, his eyes scanning every inch of my being in the moment. He took a long inhale and completed it with the same exhale. “Fuck.” he repeated and leaned down to kiss me again.

This one was more passionate than the last, not breaking for even a moment. Our lips moved in sync as if they were performing like we’d both be soon in the future. Our tongues danced together, both fighting for dominance before his finally won. He moved from my lips down my chest, landing at my clothed breasts. He kissed around the lacey black material before snaking his hands around my back and undoing it. He slid the straps down my arms before removing it all together.

“So beautiful.” he whispered as his hand cupped around my breasts. He kissed down my stomach and stopped above the matching black panties I had on. His darkened eyes met with my half lidded ones and he just chuckled to himself. “You want it, baby?” I nodded and he wasn’t having any of that. “Just use your words and I can give you the world. You’re such a mess and I’ve barely touched you.”

“Y-Yes.” I stuttered, overwhelmed from the confidence that always wreaked from him during sex. He simply smirked and bit the top pulling my panties all the way around my ankles. He yanked them off completely and tossed them behind him, landing somewhere in the closet.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby.” he muttered to me, as his hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him. Before I could ask him to, his tongue met my entrance and began to explore each and every crevice of my being. Every movement was so precise as I got closer and closer to my breaking point.

“Yoongi- fuck-” I moaned. I could feel his lips regain his smirk as he became quicker with his actions. He brought his digits towards my entrance, two of them easily slipping inside. He curled them, easily making my body twist in pleasure. My eyes faded shut but I could feel his gaze on me. All at once he stopped and I knew he wanted my eyes to meet his. I succeeded to his will and he began to move his fingers again, even adding a third.

He could feel my getting close and pulled his fingers out, licking a line up my slit. “Fuck, you taste so good, Y/N.” he breathed hot air onto me and he licked his lips, chuckling again after. He sucked on his fingers for a moment, making sure to keep eye contact with me while doing so. He stood up from the bed for a moment and stretched, taking off his boxers right after.

“Are you ready?” he asked me, full well knowing the answer. I nodded, letting out a huff of air and he hovered me again, lining his cock with my entrance. He pushed into me all at once, causing a chill to be sent through my body. He paused for a moment, watching my face for my reaction. “You’re so cute…”

“Stop-” I began to say before I was interrupted by him moving. He moved at a fast pace, but seemed to be enjoying every moment of it. My mind felt like it was moving as fast as he was and I couldn’t help but to realize how lucky I was. Before I could even dwell on it for another second, I felt myself close and began to clench. The way he bit his lip made me knew he wanted to tease me, but the nod he gave me let me know it was okay.

He slowed down as I came, completely stopping at one point to catch his breath along with me. He leaned up and kissed my forehead before starting to fuck me again. This time it was more sensual as he fucked me until he hit his high. Without any words he came inside of me, his rested body pressed against mine but his flat palms keeping his weight from collapsing onto me.

He pulled out and I felt his cum dribble out of me, neither of us bothering to fix the mess it was about to cause. He rolled over me and onto my left side, pulling my body into his before pulling a sheet on top of us. “I love you.” he whispered against my hair, kissing at it after he spoke.

“I love you too.” I quickly responded, closing my eyes.

As complicated as our lives were, everything just seemed so simple when it came to Min Yoongi.

Author’s Note: Ah, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! I missed updating this haha

Next part  →

[letsbefeminist]

Hi your profile name is radical feminist, I’m currently studying sociology and would love to know more about radical feminism(if you follow the radical feminist ideology) as I’m kinda lost with reading the same generic stuff from a text book and tbh am trying to discover what feminist I am myself.Can you get back at tell me what it’s all about 😊

Shoooo I can see how your eyes could start to glaze over after awhile lol this might get a lil long so hopefully the same thing won’t happen lmaooo

Although a lot of radfems believe what intersectional feminists, ima focus on radical feminism & if ya wanna know about intersectional feminism it’s cool to ask about that too! 

So basically the main theory of radical feminism is that we as a society live (survive tbh lol) under a patriarchy with patriarchal values, morals, & rules & that due to this, women are inherently unequal to men. It’s a huuuge belief that women suffer from this through different forms of oppression, dominance, abuse, & control. This is like the top of the pyramid.  

Often there are many roadblocks we face for being women, there’s a lot of abuse we face is due to our gender, & there’s stereotypes that describe women as a whole as incompetent, fragile, hysterical/emotional, ect. Like it’s annoying & it’s damaging for all sorts of reasons. 

Now I will say this, not all men are oppressors & not all women thoroughly suffer from said oppression, just at the roots men control us, all of us. 

Moving on, you got topics like reproductive rights, the sex industry, transgender people, gender roles, “man-hating,” & rape culture. I do need to say that there’s a lot of contradictions within the community though, we don’t all believe the same things & it makes things complicated. This is why a lot of people avoid radfems but here we go! lol 

The sex industry: it’s viewed that all sex work thrives off the abuse, dominance & harm of women. Basically, it’s a form of oppression. A lot of the focus is also on why women are involved in the sex industry. For a lot they consider poverty, previous abuse (often sexual), human trafficking, ect as the reasons women are in these fields. Kinda that line of “no body wakes up wanting to be a prostitute,” so basically they’re calling out the roots & attempting to dismantle the cause. For those who aren’t recognizing the causes of sex work, (or consider that it might be simply a choice), they shame women for being involved in such & remove them from their feminism. 

Reproductive rights: all in all, my body, my choice. No ands, ifs, or buts about it. This includes abortion, birth control, sterilization, the whole works tbh ..I’m sure some don’t believe this for all topics but most do. 

Trans women: so like there’s dumb asses out here who literally think trans women are impostors & that they’re “truly men” trying to infiltrate “female” spaces, topics, rights, ect. so they themselves can control & abuse “”real”” women. There’s also ones who think trans women uphold gender roles. It’s this tricky balance for them. Act feminine, how dare you, act masculine, how dare you. The “extreme radfems” also reduce trans people to their genitals, yet, (rightfully so of course), ask to not be reduced to their’s. Now none of this I agree with, but there’s a shit ton who do, esp here on tumblr. 

Gender roles: this is another split discussion. Some radfems are like, “ladies! go do whatcha want just as long it’s what YOU want,” & some are like, “ladies! if you’re shaving, wearing makeup, dressing feminine you’re upholding patriarchal standards & the MEN ARE CONTROLLING YOU!!!!” Like some legit act as if we can’t make our own decisions or regardless of why we’re doing it, it’s inherently negative. I could care less if women don’t shave or wear makeup. Your life, your choice. 

Man-hating: though there’s a bunch of radfems who literally & wholly hate men & dedicate a lot of their time attacking men, it isn’t the point of the movement & a lot don’t act like that. Calling out privileges, identifying toxic male traits, discussing abuse from men, ect, doesn’t mean we hate men. It’s a reduction of the movement because this kinda goes hand in hand with the belief that women are for sure emotional & hysterical.. like we’re not rationally thinking & discussing issues. 

Rape culture: this is basically a world of rape apologists, victim-blamers, an unreliable justice system, sexual (street) harassment, rape jokes & men who have a need to dominate women. This is obviously harmful & allows the kind of men who would rape someone act with impunity. It also reduces women to objects & allows for the abuse of women. It’s a sick carousel nooo body asked to be on. 

There’s a lot more topics I could add but I’d say this is radical feminism in a nutshell. Each topic expands the minute you look at all the qualities of a person, (gender, race, religion, ability, class, ect), so anyone could delve deeper in every topic. 

Unfortunately some radfems get extreme with their beliefs & abuse the movement & other people. They’re constantly refusing to accept that they too are upholding specific standards that a lot of people don’t just fit right into. Trans women are women, being feminine is not a negative quality, the purpose of the movement is not to shame men but to dismantle certain toxic traits, behaviors, beliefs, ect, sex workers deserve respect & rights too, & that a person’s body gives them the right to choose what they do with it. The hypocrisy kinda runs deep with some radfems.

All in all you got the good & the bad. In my world, there are a lot of important beliefs that would benefit society as whole. Abuse & oppression shouldn’t be the norm & feminism should be inclusive. Women, trans women, & non binary folks are included in my feminism. They are apart of our community because of the abuse & oppression they suffer from. 

You basically just gotta decide who you want to include in your feminism, (hopefully everybody lol), what theories & beliefs you support, & bluntly put, what kind of person you are. 

I hope this is easy enough to read & understand (i feel all scatterbrained today lololooz), & can give you a good enough impression of what radical feminism is. 

If you need anything cleared up or any questions I’m for sure here to answer em! 

Have you a fantastic night dearie! xoxoxo