#I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT HIM

[darling-winnie]

Stiles may not be popular or cool, but he is well known. Everyone knows who Stiles Stilinski is. They all know that he's the Sheriff's kid, that he's on the lacrosse team, that he's best friends with Scott McCall, and that he has a huge crush on Lydia Martin.

Stiles definitely has people saying hi to him when he's walking from class to class or talking to him in class before the teacher starts their lesson.

He's an approachable person that some people might find annoying, but he's also just really nice to everyone.

[burrythebusy]

I love going back to reread hrkg because I just learn something new every time even without the influence of the recent chapter. I particularly love analyzing Kagiura’s character. His view on love and romance and family and marriage was just so interesting before. It was so innocent, meaning he didn't think of it any more or any less than just "I get to stay with him, only me". Like that's not the average thought for a crush. And Niibashi tells him that, he's like do you even view him romantically, or do you simply just wanna keep him close? It could be interpreted as so many things. Like aroace spec hrkg is such a real interpretation.

And it gets me even more when I view it in reference to his past relationship. Like his most Romantic™ action ("What lovers do") is a lap pillow. Because she was his girlfriend and that was the reason given for it. We're dating so this is something that people thay are dating do. So his middle school self is like oh okay. And it happens and he's stiff. And he doesn't think it feels right. And that follows him to high school bc if we're dating and this is something people that are dating do, why doesn't it feel right? But yes. That's literally it. That's as romantic as it goes for him until Niibashi mentions kissing. Which he didn't even think about. He claims it's an influence of never really seeing his parents kiss. His view on love IS his parents. It's influenced by those around him (ooh). But it's also because marriage is supposed to mean you're in love. And his parents are in love and act like best friends and rarely kiss so that's what the young Kagiura thinks of love to be like.

Now I don't know what influenced him to get with his girlfriend per se. Because (!!light novel stuff!!) I think it's implied that his view of love and marriage comes after his girlfriend, not before, which would make sense considering his relationship didn't work out. It also makes sense if it came before. Because why did it start? I genuinely think that he might have liked, and i think that's what was said. But i think he liked her as a friend, and he's expected to get with girls, and if his view on marriage was getting started at any point then. That's literally a prerequisite. A relationship like best friends. So he dates her and it just doesn't feel right. And it could've been because he treated the whole relationship like a friendship with a different label which wasnt what his girlfriend wanted. And then the one "traditionally romantic" thing that comes along, close physical contact, still doesn't feel right.

Going off of context clues here. It's safe to say they never kiss or even hold hands really. It's probably the only thing they ever did, the lap pillow. It's what Kagiura thinks about when he thinks of romance and what lovers do because it's the one thing he failed to FEEL right about. And if he liked her. Why didn't he?

Obviously everything isn't surface level either, on one surface. Because Kagiura’s personality comes into play too. There's probably more to be said about his politeness, how we don't see him really challenge anybody on what they say (except Hirano for obvious reasons). If his girlfriend said dating -> lap pillow then he's gonna say okay. Sure. Even if he's unsure about it. But we don't get much of his personality from then. We only know this snippet, and the fact that it bothers him.

But we also know WHY it bothers him after ch. 6 and 7, and in 16a. Kagiura doesn't think about kissing Hirano because his view on love and romance is limited to how his parents show it, and how his ex girlfriend showed it. He hasn't developed it on his own yet, at least not consciously. He likely never kissed his girlfriend (and if he did it doesn't stick with him at all since the first thing he thinks about is literally the lap pillow) and he doesn't see his parents kiss so Niibashi asks him about kissing hirano and he's like "idk lol". Hence why, does he even like Hirano romantically? (And though you can be in a romantic relationship without kissing, the question still remains as to how he sees his feelings for Hirano, considering how juvenile they seem*)

But the difference here is that, without thinking about it, Hirano and Kagiura were becoming best friends. Kagiura didn't go into friendship with Hirano thinking he's a love interest the same way he might have with his girlfriend. Hirano treated him really well and they developed this natural thing and Kagiura started to develop a natural Kagiura version of a crush. But still, every action after that wasn't with the deliberate intention of his outlook on love. It remained natural. So that "prerequisite" was already fulfilled (and honestly, it could easily be viewed separate of how he sees romance from his parents. Again, it all happens so naturally and easily for him).

So in chapter 6, he thinks about what Niibashi said more and then the urge comes. To kiss Hirano. The first time he's probably thought about kissing anyone. So it's already an outlier to how he views romance anyway because kissing never had to be a part of it but now it is. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!

Because next he decides to indulge in something he can easily call back to. His girlfriend and their experience. People that date do lap pillows. How would that feel with someone I'm in love with, someone I now know I want to kiss? And I truly don't think he expected much from it because of his experience of not really liking it. Of it being "off". But Hirano lies in his lap and his mind blanks. And then he lies in Hirano's lap and he can't do it. Not because it feels off or wrong. But because he felt too much. A LOT in that moment. Cue his sexual and sexuality awakening/crisis. It literally scares him out of being NEAR Hirano for extended periods of time. Out of touching him. Because this new attraction is foreign to him. He now actively wants to touch him, actively wants to kiss him and at this point he already knew hirano doesn't see him that way so what do you do?

Then 16a comes. They're starting to touch for ten seconds a day because Hirano said he would try, and Kagiura’s largest guilty pleasure is literally just physical contact. Particularly with Hirano. Which he used to do so casually but can't bring himself to. So he asks hirano when it's okay and they agree to ten seconds.

To me, this is when he comes to terms with the fact that he never romantically liked his girlfriend in the first place. Because he knows hirano isn't in love with him at this point despite Hirano agreeing to try. He knows what they feel is different. Which is exactly what happened with his girlfriend. That's why he's afraid he was making Hirano feel how he felt with his girlfriend back then. Uncomfortable. "Off". And when I view it in context I always come to the conclusion that he didn't like her (let alone love her). This may not be his first relationship but it is his first love.

All this to say... literally nothing. I just love digging into Kagiura’s character, how his past does end up influencing the present in really subtle ways. I mean think about it, he feels so guilty for wanting to touch Hirano that he limits himself to the ten seconds. Like every time before chapter 14 that they touched just because (locking arms, holding his shirt or his wrist just to grab onto him, that natural gravitation) is just gone. Because now he loves someone who doesn't love him so how could he possibly put the pressure on him to touch him in the same way? He gave away his right to do that. But it hurts him. (And it hurts Hirano too). Another problem. But that guilt doesn't come from nowhere. He doesn't want Hirano to feel how he felt with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to make him uncomfortable or push his physical boundaries and make himself a sad memory in Hirano's high school years.

Kagiura is experiencing this extent of love and a crush for the first time. He lied in his girlfriends lap hesitantly but did it because they were dating and didn't like it. And I feel like a great fear of his is making Hirano feel that way too. So he wants Hirano to feel the same way desperately without pushing the physical boundary that has once made him feel unsure and weird. He loves Hirano so much that he'll limit himself as much as he can bear in this process. (Which, isn't the greatest thing. It's almost contradictory). But that's his experience. That's how he's letting it influence him. And it's so interesting to me.

Erm this is long anyway I love doing Kagiura character study. Obviously this is my interpretation and how I view his character to be. And we are all influenced by our environment in the end, especially those that have an important place in our lives (hint hint wink wink iykyk) but some people still build their own wants and desires with that as a foundation. Kagiura took his parents as the blueprint itself. THE guide, THE directions. So now I think he's on a journey of defining love for himself too.

[satoruxx]

guys lowkey i might start writing for wuwa and haikyuu…

[seraphdreams]

how do we feel about mr lawyer man? (higuruma)

[t4llhum4n]

I just want someone to slide in my dms with a "heyyy wanna talk about Vega?" is that too much to ask??

[ferengii]

I am not writing essays about every episode where Nog appears, what are you talking about??

[iheartmomochi]

i can’t help but feel like spring holds some sort of significance to momochi. i’m not sure whether or not it’s explicitly stated to be his favorite season bc A. i don’t know japanese and B. I haven’t listened to all of his cds/read his all of tweets (yet.) but it really feels like spring holds a lot of memories. maybe i’m reading too much into it but he posts a lot of pictures of flowers on his twitter & sometimes he explicitly mentions springs or even sakura trees (blossom during spring) in his songs (flowers are mentioned sometimes) like yabure zakura, yakouka, sanka, kataridori.

usually when it’s mentioned it isn’t always in the best context… in his songs, spring is accompanied by negative feelings like death or abandonment (except for yakouka which is interesting but that’s a whole another thing on its own). So Yeah. Goes without saying what i think thats about (his mom…)

On another note, his drawings of flowers are very cute. Here is one of them:

[ssaseaprince]

I wish we talked about Marvel more

[alittlegio]

「許せない！あなたは自分の弟を裏切った！痛みは忘れられないだろう。」

A fully rendered piece? Impossible! But yeah, I finally took my art block by the neck and killed it.

As for the character, I haven't given him a name yet. I've got about five years of lore for him (which I'll probably post eventually) plus a couple other drawings of him, but somehow never a name. Maybe it'll come to me in a dream.

(-ω☆)ｷﾗﾘ

[slttygeto]

not me thinking of some other ways to write soft fluffy gojo today like i havent done enough

[citrusmaxxer]

hanyang😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[jessekestrel]

I need to infodump and babble and ramble about my blorbo (Sek-on) but no one seems to Get It. How much of a special cool silly goofy dude he is 😭

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[posalis]

"You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself." Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

[heavenbarnes]

Older bf!Simon makes my brain go brrrrrrrr I wanna smooch ur brain for all this good content. I would call him ‘old man’ every so often (sometimes endearingly teasing him other times bc I want him to bend me over the nearest surface n be condescending while he fucks me <3)

brain enjoys the smooch, its tired tonight! 🫶🏼

i think calling simon “old man” goes one of two ways and you’re going to have to hear me out:

first way is yeah, he’s bending you over and he’s making your eyes well up and he’s made you cum a good couple times already and he’s not relenting and it’s about him proving himself to, well, himself.

he’s got his lips pressed to your ear speaking something crazy like “y’like letting a dirty old man fuck ye? huh? d’ye?”

and he’s not beating the old man allegations but he’s also not denying them because, he is in fact an old man but he doesn’t fuck a day over 20.

second way is ARGUABLY my favourite and that’s when you’re saying it in passing and he’s snatching you up, pulling you into him despite all your squeals and he’s wrapping you up so tight.

“who y’calling old man? y’little tart” and you know he’s fucking with you and maybe he’s teasing your sides cause he likes how you giggle and squirm and call his name.

it’s when you’re struggling against him that you realise half the giggles are actually simon’s- the man is actually giggling and you realised you’d invent new words to call him if it made him this happy.