#I HATE THIS DUDE (hopelessly attracted) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ghoulgirlwrites · 2 years ago

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You’re the One That Gets Into My Head

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female Reader

Era: Revenge

Requested by: Anon

Word Count: ~2200

Summary/Request: hi there! if i could have a request where the reader uses she/her pronouns with frank from the revenge era, with the sharing one bed trope + enemies to lovers, that would be great. if not, totally okay!! 🥰🖤🖤

A/N: Title is taken from How These Things Go by The Wild & Free, one of my fave indie bands. Also the line where he asks to kiss her is taken from The Program by Suzanne Young, my new favorite book. Enjoy!

You and Frank had hated each other on sight, ever since that first band practice when you’d auditioned to be their keyboardist. That had been a few months ago. You weren’t really sure who or what had started it, but you two just didn’t get along. Despite that, when the band had voted on whether you should be their keyboardist, he’d voted yes. It wasn’t professional, it was personal.

Everything he did annoyed you. His incessant pot smoking. His propensity for acting like a wild animal onstage and knocking over everything in sight (he’d damaged your keyboard more than once, but had paid for the repairs with a nonchalant apology that you didn't believe for a second). His habit of getting in everyone’s space. His stupid laugh. His stupid smile. His stupid voice. The stupid way you could feel him watching you onstage.

You were on tour with MyChem while you promoted Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. You had a few days off between shows, so you decided to have some fun. Well, as much fun as you could have while hanging around with Frank.

“Hey, I bet you ten bucks I can get the bartender’s number,” Frank said to Ray, nudging him with an elbow.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re a pig.”

Frank snorted, giving an uncanny impression of the aforementioned animal, grinning at you. You hated the way his lip ring glinted in the low light of the bar.

“She’s just a woman doing her job,” you continued, glaring at Frank.

Frank arched an eyebrow, his grin turning into a smirk. “What, are you jealous, Y/N?”

“Of course not!” You grumbled, but you couldn’t ignore how your cheeks burned and you hoped he didn’t notice.

You also couldn’t ignore the fact that, underneath all that hatred, you were hopelessly drawn to Frank. And it wasn’t for nothing. You had eyes and could tell he was attractive. And he wasn’t a total monster. For instance, there had been times when you’d been harassed by guys on the road and he’d stood up for you, but when you thanked him, he just rolled his eyes at you and told you not to mention it again.

“You’re on, man,” Ray said.

“I can’t believe you two,” you scoffed.

Frank flagged down the bartender. You watched in amusement as Frank tried a dumb pickup line, to which the bartender just shrugged him off and refilled his water glass, walking away to serve someone else.

Ray barked out a laugh before holding out his hand. “Pay up, dude.”

Frank glowered at him, digging for his wallet and muttering about how he could’ve had her.

You turned to Frank. “I think you might be the worst person I’ve ever met.”

He gave you a smile with way too much teeth. “What can I say? I’m a charmer.”

Several hours had gone by. You’d had way too much to drink and were definitely starting to feel it. There was a warm, tingly feeling throughout your body and the sharp edges of the world seemed to soften a bit. You looked around, noticing that Gerard, Mikey, Ray, and your drummer were no longer sitting with you. The only one left was Frank.

“Wh-where’d everybody go?” You asked, your words tangling together on the tip of your tongue.

He rolled his eyes. “They left…like ages ago. You didn’t notice?”

“No,” you said.

He snorted. “Not very observant, are you?”

You shoved him, or at least you tried to without losing your balance on the barstool. “Shuddup, Iero.”

“And since they ditched us, I’m the one stuck taking you home,” he grumbled.

“It’s your lucky day!” You said.

“Yeah, yeah. We should probably get outta here so we can get a taxi to the motel,” he said.

“But whyyy? There are drinks here!”

“And you don’t need anymore alcohol in you. Now c’mon,” he said.

He hopped down from his barstool and waited for you to do the same.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“I can’t get down, I might fall!” You said.

He groaned. “Fine.” He took your hands and you tried to ignore the way your heart fluttered. He draped your limp arms around his neck and wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you out of your seat before setting you on your feet.

“C’mon, time to go,” he whispered, leading you out of the bar, the two of you still wrapped around each other.

The cab ride back to the motel was a blur. The whole way there, Frank didn’t speak to you at all. You were partly thankful, since that meant he wasn’t saying anything rude or mean to you, but also in your drunken state, you wondered if you should talk to him. This moment felt significant somehow, and charged with a tension that you felt you could cut with a knife, had you been sober enough to be trusted to wield one.

Once the cab arrived at the motel, Frank wordlessly led you to the front desk, holding you up as he claimed the key and went to the room. Based on Frank’s low grumblings, you surmised that the others had claimed all the other rooms, leaving you and Frank to share. Frank clearly wasn’t happy, but you naively hoped this would give you a chance to talk.

He unlocked the door and led you inside. His gaze swept around the room, before he swore softly. You looked up to see what he was talking about and immediately noticed there was only one bed, a double bed that took up most of the room.

“I’m sleeping on the floor,” Frank said, not sounding too happy at the prospect.

He helped you into bed, taking the extra blanket and a few pillows before laying down on the floor.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered.

“‘Night, Frank,” you whispered back.

You rolled over and tried to sleep, but the bed felt too big and you were feeling guilty that Frank had to sleep on the hard floor.

“Frank?” You hissed.

“What?” He asked, sounding just as awake as you felt.

“Can you--can you come sleep in the bed with me?” You asked.

“Why?”

You sighed. “Because the bed is too big for just me and I feel bad that you’re on the floor.”

“I volunteered to be on the floor,” he said.

“Yes, but wouldn’t you rather sleep in a bed?”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable,” he said.

“The bed’s big enough for both of us, stop being such a baby,” you said.

“I’m not the one who can’t sleep in a bed all by herself,” he said.

“Just get up here!” You snapped.

“Fine, fine. Geez, woman,” he grumbled.

In the blackness, you heard him scramble to his feet and shuffle towards the bed. You felt the mattress sink as he joined you, curling up on the edge of the bed.

“Better?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you said.

“Good,” he said. “You stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine, right?”

“Right,” you said.

It was quiet then as you both tried to fall asleep, but you still found yourself unable to shut your eyes and rest.

“Frank?” You asked.

“What?” He hissed.

“Why do we hate each other?” You asked. That question had been on your mind for most of the night.

“I don’t know anymore,” he murmured, sounding far away.

“Maybe…we could stop hating each other,” you said.

“Why?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly around the word.

“Because I don’t really hate you and I actually think you’re cute,” you said, thankful he couldn’t see your face in the dark, since your cheeks were burning with the heat of your confession.

“You’re drunk, you won’t even remember this in the morning,” he whispered, sounding surprisingly hurt by the idea.

“Yes, I will,” you said, hating him all over again for suggesting that.

“Just go to sleep,” he whispered. “Please.”

“Fine, I will,” you huffed, contemplating sleeping on the floor yourself.

The next morning, you awoke with your head on someone’s chest. You briefly wondered just what the hell you’d gotten up to last night, when you remembered everything. The bar, the drinks, Frank taking you back to the room, Frank…

Your heart started to race, but then you felt the fabric of his shirt beneath your cheek, ruling out anything too bad. You chanced a glance at his face, but he was already watching you, looking…oddly emotional?

You glared at him. “What the hell are you looking at, Iero?”

His eyes widened, then he returned your glare. “Not much, clearly.”

“What, regretting bringing me back to bed?”

“I’m not the one who didn’t stay on their side,” he snapped.

“And get your hands off me!” You snapped back, having just noticed his arms were wrapped around you.

He looked down, as if just now realizing his arms were attached to his body and obliged. You felt a sudden chill where there had once been warmth and regretted snapping at him, but you wouldn’t have been able to bear it if he’d noticed on his own and had said something.

“M’sorry,” he mumbled, averting his gaze from you, but not before you saw a flash of hurt in his hazel eyes. What the hell?

You and Frank got ready, grabbed your stuff, and went to meet the others on the bus to drive to the venue. Then you headed backstage to get ready for the show. All day, you’d been making your usually dumb comments towards Frank, trying to get him to snap back at you like he usually did, but you were just met with cold silence. When he did look at you, he had the same look of hurt in his eyes, as much as he seemed to be trying to hide it.

“What’s wrong with Iero?” You asked Ray, who was sitting on the couch near you.

“Why are you asking me? He’s been like this all day and before that, he was with you,” he said.

You snorted in indignation. “What, you think I did something to him?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ray said.

“But you were thinking it,” you said.

Ray sighed. “Y/N, have you ever thought that you might be hurting each other and that you should try getting along?”

“He’s the one who--”

“Right, stupid question,” Ray said.

“Ray…”

“Just think about what I said, okay?”

You sighed. “Fine.”

On stage tonight, you felt Frank’s eyes on you almost the entire time. And during “I’m Not Okay,” instead of “trust me,” Frank said, “Lie to me, Y/N.” When you looked over at him, his hazel eyes pierced your own, taking you off-guard.

When the show was over, you all went backstage. You felt a gentle hand wrap its fingers around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Y/N?” Frank asked.

You turned and he let go of your wrist.

“Yeah?”

“Can I…can we talk? On the bus?” He asked, tugging at his lip ring with his teeth, a nervous habit of his you couldn’t help but notice.

“Sure,” you said.

You felt everyone watching the two of you walk out together, but you paid them no mind. Frank held the door for you as you left the venue and again when you climbed onto the bus. You sat down together in the front lounge of the bus.

Frank looked down at his tattooed fingers as if seeing them for the first time. “Look, last night, you said some things and I guess I’m just wondering whether you really meant them.”

“I was drunk, okay?”

“You seriously don’t remember?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, what did I say?” Your stomach churned.

“You asked me why we hated each other and then you said maybe we could stop hating each other because you thought I was cute,” he said.

“Oh god,” you whispered.

“So what, were you telling the truth or was it just more bullshit, huh?” He asked, his eyes blazing.

“Why do you care so much? You hate me,” you said, even though you questioned the truth of that.

“Y/N…” Frank’s voice sounded tired, but you kept talking.

“You hate me and we don’t get along and we probably never will and--”

“Y/N, stop. I--”

“--so why is it so important to you what I think?”

“Because I really like you, okay?” Frank burst out. “And I think you’re cute too. More than that, I think you’re gorgeous and last night, you--you curled up against me and I lay there dreading when morning came because I knew things would be like this. I tried to stay on my side of the bed, give you your space, but you rolled over and grabbed onto me and I never wanted you to let go. That’s why I was looking at you this morning, because I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful in my entire life.”

“Oh yeah? Well…well…fuck!” You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Fuck, Frank. Why did you have to say that? I don’t wanna have feelings for you!”

“But you do, right?” He asked, a smirk creeping onto his face.

“Yeah, duh,” you said.

“So maybe we can both just…drop our weapons and be…be okay with each other,” he said.

“You really think that could work?” You asked.

“We’ll never know unless we try. I wanna try, Y/N. Please,” he said. He reached up and brushed his fingers against your face. “Would you let me kiss you? Please?” He asked, looking more nervous than you’d ever seen him.

“Yes,” you whispered and with that, Frank pressed his lips to yours, softly at first, but then harder, more passionately.

Finally, you broke off for air. “Wanna go tell the others the good news?” Frank asked.

“Later. Right now, I want you to kiss me again,” you said.

“That can be arranged,” he said, grinning at you and crashing his lips against yours once more.

#Frank Iero #frank iero fanfic #frank iero imagine #frank iero x reader #my chemical romance #MyChem #my chemical romance fanfic #my chemical romance fic #my chemical romance x reader #mcr #mcr fic #MCR Fanfic #mcr fanfiction #mcr x reader

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bbtsficrecs · 3 years ago

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BTS fanfic recs. part 1

This is a list of bts fanfics that I highly recommend! Don’t you worry, more members will be added along the way. If you ever wanna talk about one of the fanfics or recommend me one, hit me up! Remember to send some love to these amazing authors. Please let me know if some of the links don’t work. Happy reading!

Part 2 will be uploaded soon, so be sure to follow me for the next recommendations!

Disclaimer: if this post seems familiar it’s because I had to move blogs and repost everything 🥲

Part 2 ♡

⊹ Navi ‣ Part 1 ♡ Part 2 ♡ Part 3 ♡ Part 4 ♡

Evolution of a lovers heart (fluff, angst) 1, 2, 3, 4 (ongoing) | Fuckboy!AU, +55,5k The rules are simple: first one to take the virginity wins.

Inkling (smut, angst) | TattooArtist!AU, 17,7k Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?

Pretty boy (smut, fluff) | Friends to secret lovers, 4k He’s just a pretty boy, a pretty boy ~ you wanna be his pretty toy.

The likelihood of being on your mind (fluff, angst) | Childhood friends to lovers, 18,2k You don’t think about Jeon Jungkook that often, but when you do, it’s always followed by feelings of antipathy. and really, why think of him when you could be thinking about soccer captain, Kim Seokjin instead? You have your heart set on Seokjin. There is nothing you want more than to make him yours. But of course, Jungkook has to throw a wrench in it.

The bet (smut) | Boyfriend!AU, 2,7k How a bet turned into public sex

On call 1, 2 (smut, humor) | Strangers to lovers, 9,6k After a catastrophic first date, you end up leaving the hospital angry, tired and date-less. Hoping to have a drink or five, you end up in a nearby bar, sitting next to the same doctor who caught your eye earlier.

Cockblocked (smut, fluff) | Roomates!AU, 15,8k In which a pair of best friends are hopelessly in love with one another but they’re both too dumb to realize, even when everyone around them are dropping hints every five minutes. or alternatively; “you’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back.”

Everything I ever wanted (fluff) Cockblocked drabble | Roomates!AU, 780 In which you get caught slipping out of Jeongguk’s bedroom.

Hurts good (smut, fluff, angst) | Idol!AU, 3,3k Jungkook stands you up after promising to take you out. You’re pissed at him but he makes up for it in all the right ways.

Only mine (smut, fluff?) | Jealousy!AU, 5,1k In which Jungkook gets jealous

Too late (angst) | Divorce!AU His sexual attraction had taken his attention away from the woman he should’ve stayed with forever and his urges ruined his marriage that was perfectly fine, and although the newly-found pleasure is euphoric… he can’t help but feel guilty.

Not too late? (angst) | Divorce!AU

Dilf Jungkook (smut) | Husband!AU The grocery store girl hits on your husband.

Dilf Jungkook part 2 (smut, crack) | Husband!AU New parents jk & you’s sex life isn’t at all what it used to be, so when the opportunity presents itself, you grab it.

The art of wanting (smut) | Strangers to lovers, 10,3k You find a baby in your store and in turn, a dilf finds you.

Over the edge (smut) | Boyfriend!AU, 9,1k So, you’re dating. everything is dandy, the sex is knocking your socks off, but what happens when you get in the First Real Fight?

Morning games (smut) | Non-Idol!AU, 4k In which you want Jungkook back in bed

Dude (fluff) | Boyfriend!AU, 400 Jungkook hates the new petname you’ve given him.

The philosophy of good luck (smut, fluff) | TattooArtist!AU, 7k “you told me i looked good and that you needed to get a tattoo of my face” is not the explanation you wanted to hear from the tattoo artist that permanently etched the dumbest drunken request of your life onto your skin.

Swipe right (smut, fluff, angst) | Best friends to lovers, 9k After a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, Jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

Departure (smut, fluff) | Pilot!AU, 6,2k As a flight attendant for Korean Air, you’re scheduled for a thirteen-hour flight to Japan. However, things get intimate between you and your partner and co-pilot, Jeon Jungkook, when he realizes Park Jimin, the famous idol from Korea, broads the plane and blatantly flirts with you.

Strings attached (fluff, smut) | Idol!AU, 4,4k Jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

Snowy hills (fluff, angst) | Surgeon!AU, 3,9k it was supposed to be a normal night, so you could only imagine Jungkook’s surprise when he saw you being wheeled in on a stretcher.

Ruin the friendship (smut, fluff) | Best friends to lovers, 8k Your drunk ass best friend keeps calling you to take care of him and it wouldn’t be so awful, if it weren’t for The Feelings.

Please love me 1, 2, 3 (angst, fluff, smut) | Arranged married, 47,9k As the only unmarried Jeon and Kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. But despite developing an affection for Jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. You’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.

Let the games begin (smut, fluff) | Gamer!AU, 5,7k Just another fic where oc rides jk in his gaming chair

Baby I don’t feel so good (angst, fluff) | Idol!AU You didn’t mean to miss the award show, but by god you were sick as hell. and you didn’t mean to miss all of his phone calls and texts, but how were you to reply when you were passed out in the bed with a headache and fever?

In your eyes (smut, angst, fluff) | Fratboy!AU, 10,6k Jungkook always sees you like the only girl in the world, and you just see him as a fuckboy. OR Jungkook just wants a chance.

Stranded (smut, fluff, angst) | Enemies to lovers, 13k Jungkook’s offer to help you study for your exam is unwelcome. His entire presence is unwelcome. You don’t want help from the guy who passes all his classes without even trying. It’s annoying — he is annoying. From the way he grins whenever he catches you staring at him, to the way his eyes shine whenever he smiles at you. Oh, and let’s not forget the way his tattoos shift when he stretches or the way his jawline sharpens when he’s focused. Nope, you definitely can’t stand him.

Waking up en Vegas (fluff, smut) | Brothers best friend, 3,1k You know what they say. what happens in vegas, stays in vegas. but, what happens when you accidentally marry your brother’s best friend? Hidden away (angst) | Hanahaki!AU When it’s too late

A little stand never hurt anyone (smut, angst) | Best friends to lovers, 12,5 Happy anniversary! Oh wait, it’s just a friendship anniversary. You and Jungkook decide to dedicate your anniversary day to each other by visiting the beach and its shops. Luckily for you and Jungkook, you find a secluded spot on the beach that allows you plenty of privacy.

Switch lanes (fluff, smut, angst) | Strangers to lovers, 16,6k In which being friends with benefits with Taehyung lead you to Jungkook.

Broken trust (angst) | Breakup!AU In which you gave him three chances.

Don’t lie to me (angst) | Breakup!AU In which you were a bet.

Photographs (angst, fluff) | Relationship!AU In which you show Jungkook that you love him.

Sex education (fluff, smut) | Brothers best friend, 12k “You want me to… what?” Jungkook chokes on his croissant, and how could he fucking not, with you looking at him with those pleading eyes, asking for something that he knows would get him into jail. Well, maybe not like actual jail. But definitely the Bro Code Jail. The jail where only bros who broke the Bro code went to.

Sex education 2.0 (smut, angst, fluff) | Brothers best friend, 9k “Are you calling me boring?” Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.“First of all, don’t talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all,” you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook’s expectant eyes on you. “A little, yeah.“

It takes two (smut, angst, fluff) | Soulmates!AU, 21,1k Uncertainty always lingered where soulmates’ souls bonded. You didn’t understand, and when he walked down the isle, you understood even less.

Hot boy bummer (smut, angst, fluff) | Fuckboy!AU, 14,6k When Jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

A quarter past us (fluff, angst) | Exes to lovers, 13,8k When you break up with him out of fear of losing your freedom in university, he finds himself showing you why leaving him isn’t the answer.

Concrete king (fluff, smut) | Skaterboy!AU, 16,7k When a cute boy in a tacky hawaiian shirt lands a trick in your honor theres no way you could you ever say no to him.

This kingdom 1, 2 (smut) | Gamer!AU In some cases, hate and love are the same thing. Or, in this specific case, hate and overwhelming, breathless, mind-blowing lust. And it all started because you were better at League of Legends than Jeon Jungkook.

Oops (smut, fluff) | Strangers to lovers, 6k You don’t know who the wonderful voice singing in the shower is, but you need to know

(Un)welcomed Addition (fluff, angst) | Fuckboy!AU, 9k After a drunken one night stand with your neighbor, you have your reasons for wanting to forget it ever happened and never talk to him again. Unfortunately, Jungkook wins the award for the world’s worst neighbor so his 3 am wakeup calls and mail stealing have you banging at his door on an almost weekly basis. You just want to make it to the end of your lease so you can leave all the traces of the fuckboy next door behind…unless your feelings get in the way of course.

The Push (smut, fluff, angst) | College!AU, 11k In which you go from being friends to lovers

Bad habits (smut, angst) | Fuckboy!AU, 5,5k “Tell me something,” he spoke. “Do you want this - us? You said you didn’t know what to call us but I want to give you a name.”

Banana milk (smut) | Strangers to lovers, 6,7k Sent to the grocery store in the middle of the day, you’d never believe who you ran into in the milk aisle.

Pushing you away (angst, fluff) Where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone

Somnolent (fluff) | Roomates!AU, 3,5k After spending one night in bed with you, Jeongguk finds out he is unable to sleep unless you’re sleeping with him.

Kind like you (smut, angst, fluff) Jungkook dearly wants to be kind like you. He wants to be so sweet, and gentle, and soft like you’re with him all the time; yet all he does is tease and pick on you, it seems.

Come here I’m your paradise (smut, fluff) | Honeymoon!AU, 4,8k In which you’re on your honeymoon.

Canceled (smut) | College!AU, 6,4k Jungkook has a passion for camo pants, science, and debating with strangers on the internet. Usually, he wins arguments, but when you show up in the comment section of one of his his blog posts, shit goes down and he’s left wanting more than a virtual conversation.

All over you 1, 2, 3, 4 (smut, angst, fluff) | College!AU, 6,4k You don’t usually go for the quiet, nerdy type, but Jungkook’s by far the best looking guy in your year. You just can’t help yourself. You have to have him. Small hiccup; he hates you.

The other women (angst) | Cheating!AU, 1,6k Where you the other women?

One Way Ticket (fluff) | Relationship!AU, 4k Long distance relationships are never an easy thing, and although you and Taehyung had managed to make it work for four years and were used to not seeing each other that much already, he couldn’t help but feel like his birthday was ruined at the news of you being stuck at the airport due to a bad weather flight delay. However, although things didn’t quite go to plan, it only took for you to arrive two hours before the day was over for it to be his happiest of birthdays so far.

Last night (angst) | Friends to ?, 1,2k “I’ve been in love with you since forever Taehyung and I’m pretty sure you knew about it, given how perfectly not-slick I was about it.“

Step up (or step out) (angst, fluff) | New parents!AU, 3,5k The few first months are always hard on new parents, but Yoongi didn’t expect it to be this bad. He didn’t expect you to consider walking out on him.

27 phone numbers (smut, angst) Yoongi has gone through twenty-seven phone numbers over the last ten years, and you haven’t changed yours since high school.

Wrecked (angst) | Breakup!AU, 1,3k Months after your break up, just before a performance, Jimin finds out that you’re seeing someone new through Instagram. His group mates pick up the pieces after that.

#jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fan fiction #bts fanfic #bts fanfics #jimin angst #jimin fanfic #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #yoongi fluff #yoongi fanfic #taehyung angst #Taehyung fluff #Taehyung fanfic #my recs

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americasass91 · 4 years ago

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The Shield and the Sweater

Hello lovelies! This little fic came to me when the lovely, beautiful, talented @stargazingfangirl18 asked a very important question on her blog. Would you rather be enemies to lovers with Steve Rogers or friends with benefits with Ransom Drysdale. Well my greedy ass wanted both. Thus the birth of this story. I also turned it around a little to make it fit into Siri’s 5k Soft Dark Challenge! I’ve never written anything dark before. Also not sure if this classifies as soft!dark or if it’s more dark. But it’s one of those! If that makes you uncomfortable, then please don’t read it. This is also my first time writing a threesome, so let me know if it sucks! I hope you enjoy it! 😘

General prompts:

8)The town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

Dialogue prompts:

3)”Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

11)”I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

Rating: Explicit(if you’re under 18, please leave)

Words: 6.2k(this one got away from me, sorry)

Warnings: soft!dark/dark themes, unprotected sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, threesome(M/M/F), manipulation, language, model!Ransom being an asshole, Steve not being who you think he is

“And I really think if everyone pitches in to make these changes, it’ll really make a difference in the long run.”

Wow, so this is how you were going to die. In your whole 20 something years of existence, you never thought boredom would be your cause of death.

Sure, you were the lead Accountant at Stark Tower and these monthly meetings were mandatory. But did you really have to be here to listen to Rogers go on and on about how we can ‘improve our working environment’? Why did he even care anyway? He was barely ever here as it is.

You must have been zoning out worse than you thought because next thing you know your coworker, Janet, is poking you in the side and pointing towards Steve.

With a quick glare sent her way, you move your gaze to the Captain. He is giving you the same look he always does. Like he’s disgusted with you. “I’m sorry Miss Y/L/N. Am I boring you?”

A scoff escapes your mouth. “No, not at all Captain Rogers. I just love when people who are never here seem to always have an opinion on how things are run and how they could be better.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Do you have a problem with me, Y/N? Cause if you do, I’m sure there’s a way to solve that.”

You stand up and match his expression. You lean forward with your hands resting on the table. You can’t help but notice the Captain drops his gaze to your cleavage that’s now on more display than before. But just as quick as it was there, his gaze rises back up to meet your face. “Is that a threat, Captain Rogers?”

“Oh, it’s more than a-“

Tony quickly stands up and claps his hands together. “Okay! Meeting adjourned! You two, come here!”

You quickly straighten yourself up and make your way over to Tony. You always try to make sure you show him as much respect as you can. He’s your boss after all.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. My emotions got the better of me. It won’t happen again.”

He nods to you. “Thank you, Y/N. I accept your apology. But what I’m not understanding is why Steve here wanted to fire you?”

You both turn to look at Steve who has a sheepish expression on his face. “Yeah, sorry about that, Tony. She just seems to bring out this ugly side of me. I’ll try to keep it more contained next time.” He then moves his gaze to you. “Sorry, Y/N. I promise to be more professional moving forward.”

He makes a quick exit, leaving you shocked that he apologized at all. Ever since you started here almost a year ago now, you’ve been at each other’s throats. It was your fault really.

It was your first week and you were in the break room grabbing some coffee when you overheard a few of your coworkers making fun of Steve for being a virgin. Now, you weren’t sure if it was true but you wanted to fit in so you made your way over to the group and asked if anyone calls him Captain Virgin. That earned you some big laughs. But the laughter died down quickly as Steve entered the room to grab some coffee. Judging by the glare he gave you, he heard what you had called him.

You went straight to Tony after that to apologize. You really didn’t want to get fired. But you wanted to make sure Tony heard the story from you before Steve got the chance to talk to him. To your utter surprise, Tony found the name hilarious and gave you a high five, saying you were going to fit right in.

Well long story short, it’s almost a year later and Steve is still getting called Captain Virgin. Oh but don’t worry, he has names of his own for you. His favorite is Tony’s Pet. For some reason, it really eats at you when he calls you that.

But the one thing you hate the most about Steve?

Is how utterly, hopelessly, and desperately attracted you are to the son of a bitch.

That happened in your second week when you went to use the complimentary gym and saw him beating the shit out of some poor punching bag. Your panties and your workout were definitely ruined after that.

The more you fought with Steve, the more you just wanted him to bend you over any surface and have his way with you.

It was despicable how horny you were for him. You were pretty sure all he’d have to do is snap his fingers and point to the floor in front of him and you’d happily drop to your knees and take him down your throat.

So that left you leaving work every day in a horny state. You started by taking care of it yourself when you got home. But after a while even that wasn’t cutting it. Then you started bringing home one night stands. But after the 4th disappointing non-orgasm, you gave up and just learned to live with it.

Sure, you could attempt to start being nice to Steve and maybe ask him out. But you were pretty sure he hated you. Plus you have way too much pride to actually do that.

So that leads to now. It’s Friday night and your workday is almost over. You’re inputting the last few numbers from the last expense report in your pile.

You get the last number put in when Janet approaches you. She sits on the corner of your desk. “So, you coming tonight?”

You take your glasses off and lean back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “Coming where?”

She rolls her eyes at you. “Oh, come on Y/N! You know we go out almost every Friday night. You never come and you always say you will!”

You start to clear off your desk and put things back in their place. “Yeah well I could. Or I could go home and sit on my ass and do nothing.”

“Well, that explains why it’s looking a bit bigger lately.”

Janet’s jaw drops as she directs her gaze at Steve, who is now standing in front of your desk.

You smirk and lean on your elbows towards him. “You like looking at my ass, Rogers?”

He scoffs. “Well when it takes up that much space, it’s hard not to notice. But here, I came to give you this.”

He hands you what looks to be a 10 page expense report. “Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy, you know. Saving the world.”

You ungraciously take it from him and throw it in your to-do pile. “That can wait until Monday. I’ve got plans. We’re going to-” you look towards Janet for clarification. “Lavo.” You turn your gaze back to Steve. “Yeah, we’re going to Lavo. So this will wait til Monday if that’s okay with you, sir.”

Steve does his best to move his bag and jacket subtly towards the front of his pants so you won’t notice his growing hard-on. He hates how turned on he gets when you guys get into it. And then you call him sir? Jesus. He clears his throat. “Of course, I'm the one who turned it in at the last minute.”

Janet speaks up quickly. “You could always come with us! It’ll be fun!”

You grin widely at him. “Yeah! You could finally get your cherry popped, Captain Virgin.”

Steve can’t help the blush that covers his cheeks. “Uh, I can assure you my cherry has been popped since the 40’s. But thank you for your concern. And thank you for the invite, Janet. But i think I’ll stay in tonight.” He takes out his phone and sends a quick text before turning around and walking towards the elevators.

Wow. He didn’t even try to retaliate. You shrug your shoulders and grab your purse before standing up. “Alright, I’ll go! But on one condition!”

Janet claps her hands in excitement and starts walking with you towards the elevators. “Sure, anything!”

You press the button for the lobby. “You are going to be my wingwoman. Cause this girl definitely needs to get laid.”

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Lavo is super packed by the time you guys arrive. Of course you all had to go home and change.

You decided to go with a simple, yet effective, little black dress that showed off just enough to get men’s attention.

Thankfully you are able to score the last table. The waiter comes over and gets everyone’s drink order. You decide to stick with your favorite. You don’t want to get too drunk on the off chance you find someone to take home.

About a half hour into hot office gossip, Lucy, who is sitting across from you, taps your arm. You raise your eyebrows in question towards her.

She subtly nods her head towards the bar. “Okay I’m pretty sure the hottest guy I have ever seen is checking you out.”

You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face. “Yeah? Which one?”

“You can’t miss him. He’s fucking hot. Like no comparison to any of the other dudes sitting up there.”

You glance down at your drink and quickly finish the remainder. You stand up and adjust your dress, pushing up your breasts in the process. “Well, then I guess it’s time for a refill.” You wink and turn to make your way towards the bar.

It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. And boy was Lucy not kidding. He was fucking hot. Brown hair, blue eyes, and a smug smirk that would normally turn you off. But on him it worked. And who even looks that good in a fucking cream colored cable knit?

You go up to the bar, not too close to Mr. Hottie of course, and patiently wait for the bartender.

Hottie McHothot not so subtly moves his gaze up and down your body. He must like what he sees. “Hey honey, have you ever raised chickens?”

Uh. That’s definitely not the first thing you expected to come out of his mouth. You look over at him with confusion on your face. “Uh, no. Why do you ask?”

He just shrugs his shoulders. “Just kinda figured you might. Cause you sure can raise a cock.”

Okay, you’ve definitely never heard that line before. You crack up. You’re pretty sure you even snorted on accident. Once you collect yourself you ask, “Has that line ever worked for you?”

The bartender makes his way over to take your order. After reordering what you had before, you turn towards Hottie and wait for his answer.

“Not sure, my buddy told it to me yesterday so this is the first time I’m using it. Did it work?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. It was pretty cheesy.”

“Yeah, maybe. But it got you to laugh. So I’d say mission accomplished. Name’s Ransom. What’s yours, pretty girl?” He holds out his hand for you to shake.

Ransom. Now where have you heard that name before? You accept his hand shake. You can’t help but notice how much bigger his hands are than yours. Jesus. You could already feel your panties getting wet.

“My name’s Y/N. Ransom, that sounds familiar. Do I know you?”

He releases your hand and goes to take a sip of his bourbon. “Well, I guess that depends. Do you read magazines or have you seen the side of the city bus lately?”

You quickly wrack your brain. You don’t read many magazines. But the bus drives by you everyday on your walk to work. Holy shit! That’s it! He’s in his underwear on the side of the bus. You’ve drooled over that picture plenty of times.

“Oh, yeah! I remember now! I’ve seen you on the bus! What’s it an ad for? I can never really get past the almost naked man. A bit distracting on my way to work.”

He smirks as he briefly glances down at your breasts. “I’m glad you know my work. It’s an ad for Calvin Klein. For their new line of men’s briefs. Sorry I’ve been a distraction.” He sends you a wink.

Fuck. He was a model. And a popular one at that if he’s in an ad for Calvin Klein.

“I didn’t say I minded. You can make it up to me you know.” You wink back. Holy shit. Were you really flirting with a model?

“Yeah? Well, how about we get out of here and I’ll show you a fully naked man.”

Okay. Cheesy line number 2. Was that really going to work on you?

Yes.

Yes it was.

“Let me just go grab my purse.”

Drink forgotten, you go back to your table as quickly as you can without looking desperate. “Sorry, girls. But this is where I leave you.”

Janet glances down at her phone. “We haven’t even been here an hour yet! Where are you going?”

You send her a wink. “I’m leaving with that guy! You guys know him! Remember that ad on the side of the bus?”

They all turn their gaze to him. And they all make it very obvious. He just waves and sends them a smirk.

“Holy fucking shit! That’s the new Calvin Klein guy! Oh my god you lucky bitch!”

“Wait! Listen. We’ll let you go on one condition.”

You furrow your brows in confusion. “Okay?”

Janet gives you a naughty smirk. “On Monday I’ll need a report on if they had to stuff his briefs to get that delicious looking bulge or not.”

You give her a naughty smirk of your own. “I can totally do that.”

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Monday morning you were all smiles as you stepped off the elevator and headed towards your desk. You give Janet a wink as you pass by her. She quickly makes her way over just as you sit down. “Um, excuse me hoe. But is that the same dress you were wearing Friday night?”

You quickly grab the cardigan you always keep in your desk out and put it on and button it up, attempting to look a little more professional. “Maybe.”

Janet opens her mouth in shock. “You stayed the whole weekend with him? You little slut! How was it?”

You turn on your computer and grab for the expense report of Steve’s you left in your to-do pile. Then you turn towards your nosy coworker. “Well, if you must know, yes. I did stay the whole weekend with him. And I’m pretty sure I was in an orgasm-induced coma the whole time. It’s all kind of a rough, sticky, mind-blowing blur.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

You shrug your shoulders as you put in your login information on the computer. “I haven’t decided yet. While the sex was the best I’ve ever had, he’s kind of an ass. Talked about himself and all the famous people he’s hooked up with since becoming a model. I honestly kept initiating sex just to make him shut up.”

She gives you a look like you’re stupid. “I’m not seeing the issue here. So what if he talks about himself a lot? The sex was amazing. You need to lock that down girl.”

You roll your eyes at her. “That’s the thing, Janet. He doesn’t do relationships. He told me so multiple times. Plus I’m pretty sure he was texting another chick in between our ‘sessions’. I suppose if I’m desperate, I’ll get a hold of him.”

“You know you could always just have him on backup for sex. Like a friends with benefits situation.”

“Janet, I’m in my late 20s. I’m too old for that kind of relationship.”

“Exactly, you’re in your late 20s! This is the perfect time for that kind of relationship before you settle down and get married! Have one last final hoorah!”

“I can’t have this conversation before caffeine. I’m going to get coffee. You act like I’m dying soon or something.” You turn to walk away but then remember you were supposed to tell her something. “Oh yeah and by the way. The bulge is definitely not stuffed.”

You give her a wink and then head to the break room for some much needed coffee. When you see who’s in there, you almost contemplate going downstairs to a different break room.

Steve is standing at the counter, preparing his coffee. He turns when he hears you come in and gives you a once over. “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

You grab a mug out of the cabinet beside him. “Sorry my appearance isn’t up to your standards today, Rogers. I was a little...busy this weekend.”

He takes a sip of his coffee to make sure it’s right. Then he moves out of your way so you can get to the coffee, but still staying close. “Busy getting run over by a truck? Cause that’s kind of what you look like.”

You pour yourself a generous amount of coffee and take a long sip, letting the bitter liquid slowly make you human. “Yeah, well. I was busy getting fucked all weekend, Rogers. But I know your little innocent mind wouldn’t know what that’s like.”

That wipes the stupid little smirk right off his face. He almost looks pissed. He moves even closer to you. Almost pressing himself right up against you. So close that you can smell his coffee-scented breath. If you were wearing panties, they’d be ruined.

“Not all of us feel the need to sleep around. Some of us are looking for a real connection. Not just a one night stand of meaningless, mediocre sex.”

You press yourself just a little closer to him, his chest now touching yours. “Oh, it was anything but mediocre. Maybe if you actually got some, you’d know what that feels like.”

He leans his head down until his mouth is next to your ear, his left hand now resting on your hip. “You really need to stop insinuating that I’m a virgin sweetheart. If you were nicer to me, I’d show you that I know how to fuck.” With that he backs up and heads out of the break room.

You let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Jesus Christ. You swear you almost came.

And if you were nicer to him? Fuck him. He’s not nice to you either. That’s okay. You have someone who can scratch this itch.

You pull out your phone and send a quick text.

To: Fuckboi

You busy tonight? I could really use a release.

The reply came almost immediately.

From: Fuckboi

Didn’t get enough of my cock this weekend huh? I suppose I could make myself available.

You roll your eyes and quickly reply with your address and what time to be over.

The rest of the day passes by slowly. It takes you half the day to enter Steve’s expense report. God he’s descriptive. At least it’s completed. You can’t really say that much for the other Avengers. They usually half assed them and made them barely acceptable.

You are shutting down for the day when Steve approaches your desk. You remove your glasses and look at him expectantly. “Is there something I can help you with, Steve?”

A blush creeps it’s way across his cheeks. “Um, I was actually just wondering if you had time to go over the new expense report forms? They should be a lot easier to fill out.”

You glance down at the clock on your computer. Ransom is going to be at your place in about 20 minutes.“Can we do it tomorrow? I have company that’ll be showing up at my apartment in like 20 minutes.”

His hopeful smile falls. His face is now unreadable. “Would your company happen to be whoever you spent the weekend with?”

Confused, you grab for your purse after getting your computer shut down. “Actually, yes. Should I have asked your permission first?” You attempt a joke to ease the sudden tension.

He pulls out his phone and starts typing furiously. Wow. You weren’t aware he knew how to text. You hear it ping with a reply before he angrily puts it back in his pocket. “Sure, we can do this tomorrow. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of your whoreing around.”

Your jaw drops in surprise. Sure you guys were always throwing jabs at each other. But he’d never said anything like this before. And in such a mean tone.

You round your desk and stand right in front of him. “Fuck you, Steve.”

You hurry towards the elevators before he can see the tears that have welled up. You couldn’t let him know he had that power over you. Asshole. Thank god Ransom was coming over. Hopefully he could fuck what Steve just said right out of your head.

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You’ve lost count of how many orgasms Ransom has pulled from you with his mouth when there’s a knock on your door.

Ransom looks up at you from his kneeling position on your living room floor. “Did you invite someone else to join us, pretty girl?”

You scoff and push him away so you can stand up. You pull your dress down as you make your way towards the door. “Yeah. I can barely handle just you. I’m pretty sure if we added someone else, I’d actually die.”

You open the door and gasp in surprise. “Steve? What are you doing here?”

He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Look, I know you probably already have company but I felt really bad about what I said to you earlier today and wanted to apologize.”

You have so many questions. “How did you know where I lived?”

That sheepish smile makes its appearance again. “I may or may not have looked in your employee file.”

You shake your head. “And you felt the need to come all the way here and apologize? Why not just text me?”

“It would only have felt right to me to do it in person. I really am sor-”

You feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Well, who do we have here? Why is Captain America at your door?”

You turn your head to address Ransom. “He just came by to apologize to me. I think he was just leaving.”

Steve has a disappointed look on his face. “Yeah, I suppose I was.”

“Awe, what a shame. I thought you were gonna ask him to join us, pretty girl.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide at the thought. You quickly speak up. “No, I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that. He’s a little old fashioned.” You give him a sincere smile. You didn't think that was a bad thing.

Steve looks back towards the elevators and then back to you. He clears his throat. “What if I wanted to join you?” Seeing your wide eyed look, he quickly adds, “Only if Y/N would be comfortable with that of course.”

You contemplate what the consequences could be in your head. But then you get distracted when Ransom starts grinding his hard on against your ass. “Come on, pretty girl. Make a decision.”

The next word comes out of your mouth faster than what your brain can process. “Okay.”

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Now you were standing awkwardly in your bedroom with Steve and Ransom looking at you expectantly.

You’ve never done this before so you’re not sure how this is supposed to go. “So, um. How do we start exactly?”

Ransom smirks and comes up behind you. “I think you should call the shots, pretty girl. If you’re okay with that, Steve?”

With the mention of his name, he walks towards you and places his hands on your hips. “I think that’s a great idea. Can I kiss you now?” He places his hand under your chin and raises your face up to meet his. “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” With that, his lips meet yours. It’s explosive. You quickly wrap your hands around his neck and press yourself up against him.

You get so lost in the kiss, you forget that Ransom is there. That is until he presses his lips against your neck and presses himself against your ass. It presses you even further against Steve, making you feel his excitement against your lower belly.

You’re so overwhelmed already and you’d barely started. You may not survive this evening.

As you move your hands down to remove Steve’s shirt, Ransom is unzipping your dress, pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin.

Without breaking the kiss, Steve moves his hands around to unhook your bra so he can get his hands on your breasts. He pinches your nipples, causing you to moan into his mouth. He moves his lips to your neck, sucking on your pulse point.

After successfully removing your dress, Ransom stands back up and turns your head to connect your lips. He starts rutting his clothed hard on against your naked ass. His left hand reaches around to bat one of Steve’s away so he can squeeze your breast.

Steve takes the hand that had been swatted away and moves it down to your soaking wet core. He starts lightly circling your clit. Just enough pressure to make you mewl.

You reach behind you with your left hand and tug at the waistband of Ransom’s briefs. “Off.” You moan out as you take your right hand and start attempting to take off Steve’s jeans. He smirks into your neck and helps you out. He barely gets them unbuttoned and unzipped before you’re reaching your hand into them and his boxers to grab his cock. It feels big.

Ransom grabs your left hand and places it on his now free cock. You wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze before you start pumping your hand up and down. You do the same to Steve’s, making the both of them let out grunts against both sides of your neck. Steve increases the pressure on your clit a little. Still not enough.

“Nee-need, you. Please.” You weakly moan out. Ransom moves his mouth up to your ear. “How do you want us, pretty girl?”

You reluctantly pull away from both of them so you can think. You decide to be greedy. You point to Steve. “I want you to lay on the bed, please.”

He does as you ask. Putting his hands behind his head as he awaits further instructions.

You get on the bed and straddle him. You turn around and reach your arm out for Ransom. “Want you behind me.” You lean over and open your bedside drawer to grab the lube and toss it at Ransom. He smirks as he straddles Steve’s legs and gets behind you. He uncaps the lube and starts coating his cock with a generous amount. “Need my cock in that ass, pretty girl?”

You hold up your hand. “Wait.” You lean down towards Steve and give him a quick kiss. “Are you okay with this?”

He nods his head. “As long as you are.” You raise back up and smile at him. You turn your head and look at Ransom. “I’m assuming you're okay with this?”

He just smirks and squeezes some lube out so that it slides down the crack of your ass. “More than okay, pretty girl. Need me to stretch you out first?”

You smirk and pull him in for a quick, filthy kiss. “I think it got plenty stretched out this weekend.”

He matches your smirk. “You little slut. Wanting both of our cocks stuffing you full.”

You whimper as he lands a smack on your ass. Leaning up on your knees, you grab a hold of Steve’s cock and start running his tip up and down your folds. He places his left hand on your right hip and his right hand on your left thigh. “Condom?”

You quickly shake your head and pause your actions. “On the pill. Unless of course you’d be more comfortable with one.”

He shakes his head. “No, just making sure.”

You turn back to Ransom. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you.”

He nods and places his hands on your shoulders, waiting somewhat patiently.

You slowly sink down on Steve’s cock. He’s stretching you out so deliciously. It burns in just the right way. Ransom may be longer, but Steve is definitely thicker.

After you get fully seated on him, you take a minute to adjust. It only takes a few seconds. You turn your head towards Ransom. “Okay, I’m ready.”

He removes his right hand from your shoulder and grabs the base of his cock and starts pressing against the tight ring of muscle. He’d been in there a lot over the weekend. But it was still a tight fit regardless. He doesn’t go as slow and sheaths himself to the hilt, causing you to moan out in slight pain and pleasure.

Holy fuck. You feel so full. You think you might die. That is until Ransom removes his cock until just the tip remains and then forcefully thrust back in, causing you to grind on Steve’s dick.

Steve grunts out from the movement and starts thrusting up into you the best he can from his position. Ransom wraps his left arm around you and continues his thrusts, not letting up his pace. You don’t even really have to move, the both of them doing it for you. They somehow find the perfect rhythm. Each of them pulling out and pushing in at the same time. One of your hands is behind you, resting on the back of Ransom’s head while the other is resting on Steve’s chest.

Steve sits up suddenly and pulls you in for a kiss. “Like being stuffed with both of our cocks, pretty girl?” You hear from behind you. “Yes. So good. So full. Gonna cum.”

Ransom removes his arm from around you and reaches down and starts circling your clit. “Do it. Cum all over us. Make a mess.”

Steve can feel you squeezing him. “Please, sweetheart. Need to feel you cum on my cock. You’re gripping me so good.”

You explode. You clamp your eyes shut, seeing stars behind your eyelids. You let the both of them fuck you through it.

Ransom’s hips stutter. The fluttering around his cock is too good. He cums with a shout of your name, filling up your ass to the brim. He gives you a few more thrusts before he pulls out and collapses beside you two.

Steve’s been patient while you come down from your high. He lays back down, pulling you with him so that your chest to chest. He bends his knees and grabs onto your hips. “You ready, sweetheart?” You raise up, both of your hands on each side of his head. You give him a nod.

That’s all he needs. He starts fucking you, hard and fast, chasing his release. He can feel it building. He just needs to feel you come undone around him again. He moves one of his hands and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Need you to cum for me again, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “Can’t. Too much.”

Ransom sits up beside you. “I know what she needs.” He reaches over with his left hand and wraps it around your throat, squeezing gently.

It makes you clench down on Steve’s cock. “Yeah? That all you needed, sweetheart? A hand wrapped around your pretty throat? I know you like it. Can feel you squeezing me.” He picks up his pace. The only sounds that can be heard are his grunts, your breathy monas, and skin slapping against skin.

It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. This one is somehow even more intense than the last.

You must’ve blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing you know, you’re waking up in between Steve and Ransom.

Steve smiles down at you. “There she is. We lost you for a second, sweetheart.”

You feel drunk. You smile goofily up at him. “Did you cum?”

Just as you ask that, you can feel his release seeping out of your overused cunt. Then you feel cum leaking out of your ass. You hide your face behind your hands in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

Ransom removes one hand while Steve removes the other. “Nuh uh uh. No hiding allowed, pretty girl. I have no regrets.” He looks at Steve. “Do you?”

Steve smiles down at you and leans down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “None from me. You tired, sweetheart?”

You let out a big yawn and nod your head, slowly closing your eyes. “Get some rest, pretty girl.” That’s the last thing you hear before sleep takes you.

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You wake up sometime in the early morning, stretching out your sore limbs. You know you have a dumb smile on your face. But you can’t help but notice your empty bed.

You sit up and hiss at the deliciously sore feeling between your legs. You grab your robe and slip it on. You can smell coffee coming from the kitchen. You giddily make your way out of the room and down the hallway. They both barely just come into view, still unaware you’re there, when you hear Steve speak.

“I thought you were going to be an asshole to her? Make her see I’m not that bad.”

You hear Ransom next. “I was an asshole to her. I’m sorry I dicked her down so good that she wanted more.”

Steve scoffs. “I never gave you the okay to fuck her!”

“You also didn’t tell me it was off limits. Look you got what you wanted right?”

“No, actually I didn’t. I didn’t pay you so we could have a threesome together.”

What the fuck? Steve paid Ransom to help him get in your pants?

“Ok, how about this? I’ll give you all of your money back if I can fuck her one more time before I go? Then we’ll be squared away.”

Steve seems to be conflicted. “Fine! But this is the last time Ransom. I have to get to work anyway. After this, she’s mine. And make sure she’s not late for work herself.”

Before you have time to react, Steve rounds the corner and sees you standing there. He has a deer caught in headlights look. Ransom comes up beside him and sees you. “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

You slowly start backing up towards your bedroom. Steve moves towards you, stopping once you put your hands up. “Stay away from me! Both of you! I want nothing to do with either of you!”

Ransom moves past Steve and grabs onto your arms. “Oh, please. You’d fuck us again if we wanted. Wouldn’t you?”

You spit in his face. “Fuck you, Hugh.”

He gets a sinister look on his face. “Wrong move, pretty girl.” He looks toward Steve. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck the brat out of her. You better tell her boss she won’t be in today.”

Your eyes go wide at his words. You start thrashing against him, trying your best to get away. Steve has had enough. He comes over and yanks you away from him and presses you against the wall. “You better calm down, sweetheart. I’ll treat you like a princess if you can be my good girl. Can you do that?”

You shake your head. “Why would you think I’d want anything to do with you after finding out you paid someone to help get into my pants?”

He gives you an evil smirk. “Because if you don’t, I’ll just have to release the tape of last night on the internet. Let everyone see how much of a slut you actually are.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re bluffing.”

He smirks and turns his head towards Ransom. “Show her.”

Ransom gets his phone out of his pocket and swipes at the screen for a second before turning it in your direction.

Holy shit. They weren’t bluffing. There you were, getting fucked by the both of them. That would ruin you if it got out. Not only would you get fired, but your parents would probably disown you. You’d never have a normal relationship again. You’re fucked. Even more than you were last night. How had you not noticed they were recording it?

Ransom must have read your mind. “I set my phone up while you were busy with Steve’s fingers on your cunt and his tongue down your throat. I think you need to ask her again Steve.”

Steve grabs your chin and moves your gaze onto his face. “I’ll ask you again. Are you going to be my good girl? Let Ransom fuck you one more time and then it’ll just be me and you?”

You drop your gaze to the floor. You feel a tear run down your cheek as you whisper out, “I’ll be your good girl.”

Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @harrysthiccthighss @lllols @patzammit @quxxnxfhxll

Steve Taglist: @donutloverxo

#captain america #dark!steve rogers/reader #dark!steve rogers smut #model!ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale smut #siris5ksoftdarkchallenge #this sweater wearing menace #shield throwing daddy #steve rogers smut #steve rogers #chris evans #chris evans smut #steve rogers x reader

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yourlocalbadgerscales · 1 month ago

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Okay so did you know I’ve been waiting my whole life (a few days) for this

okayokayokay sO I just realised it makes better sense if you’re watching the edit I have in my head but anyways

The intro music is just generally what I feel like should be playing when Draco and Harry see each other for the first time after the war, and make eye contact in the crowded halls or sum, I like to imagine it’s in eighth year!

I also have this idea that both Harry and Draco find each other kind of attractive and have basically always done so, and they just think that it’s something everyone knows. Like Harry would at some occasion mention it and be like “but I mean, it’s common knowledge that Malfoy is attractive, regardless of what he did” and everyone’s like “uh… never really thought of him as attractive tbh”. And Harry’s just like ??? Because how can you not find Draco attractive? Sure, he’s a pointy git, but come on.

And Draco definitely would be ranting about Harry like “ughhh I hate how he gets sm attention, like yeah he’s famous. Oh and also extremely attractive. But still.” and Pansy or Blaise or whoever he’s ranting to is like “uh… idk about the attractive part actually. People usually say he’s mid” and Dracos like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?? DO YOU NOT RECOGNISE TRUE BEAUTY WHEN YOU SEE IT??

And when they meet again after the war they’re both SO aware of the other one and what they’re doing and if they look like they’re doing okay.

(also I just realised idk if you’re a drarry shipper and if you aren’t this will all just sound like bullshit to you eheheheheh)

“Everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you” is just them to each other. They really think that it’s an opinion everyone shares that the other is attractive and just the best at everything when it literally isn’t and it’s just the two of them being hopelessly in love XD

“Walk past, quick brush” I just- this is them in the hallways in eighth year. Trying to avoid each other but somehow, they’ll find each other everywhere (in every universe- who said that-)

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes” THIS IS HARRY TO DRACO I REPEAT THIS IS HARRY TO DRACO-

“At dinner parties I’d call you out on your contrarian shit, and the coastal town we wandered ‘round had never seen a love as pure as it” … do I need to explain this. This is so them omllllllll Hjajsjsjdjajdudu

Dinner parties = house parties

Coastal town = Hogsmeade

“And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea, ‘cause you know it could never be” this is so Draco coded, bro is so depressed abt this whole thing dude

And again, “I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch” no babes that’s just you being in love-

“I don’t feel like falling feels like flying ‘til the bone crush” THIS! IS! THEM! OMFFFFFFKSKDGSHAUSU

“I don’t dare to dream about you anymore” OMG YES

“And the coastal town we NEVER FOUND will never see a love as pure as it” screaming crying throwing up

“Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting I almost jump in” they both have an unhealthy obsession with each other’s eyes it’s CANON AHAHAHHAHSJSKEDIDI

[End of rant]

This song is so Drarry coded and I WILL go into detail

#imagine this as an edit bro

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dynamite-lazerbeam · 2 years ago

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Would Eddie Munson like the songs on my playlist?

Except I have what many would consider questionable taste at best and believe that people, even metalheads, can like more than one music genre. No idea if this is a modern au or an everybody lives au or what because it’s a mess but I digress. 18 and Life - Skid Row Duh. Loves Sebastian Bach-- maybe a little bit too much. 1985 - Bowling for Soup Yeah, the nostalgia train hit modern Munson hard with this one. Not his style of music but loves the references. Alone - Heart Secretly. Belts it out in the car. And So It Goes - Billy Joel Probably not a Joel fan, but he, like, gets it. As It Was - Harry Styles Though I think it’s possible that he would like some Styles songs, he’d think that this one is commercial music. Babooshka - Kate Bush Yes. A resounding yes. An unashamed, unabashed yes. The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing - Danny Kaye Not really his style. “Old people music.” Blackbird - The Beatles The first song he learned on guitar. For sure a soft spot. Black Dog - Led Zeppelin Though not metal, Zepp was his first foray into “heavier” music. Blessings - Chance the Rapper Though I’m in the minority that thinks Eddie would develop a healthy appreciation for rap, Chance would not be one of those rappers. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen Yeah, Eddie loves Queen. Argue with your mom. Freddie is a hero of his and he loves Roger’s vocals as well. Brush Up Your Shakespeare - Kiss Me Kate No musicals. God no. The Chain - Fleetwood Mac I honestly don’t think he’s given Fleetwood Mac much thought one way or another. Like, it’s not really his style of music, but if someone were to say it was their favorite band he’d probably just be like, “Oh. Cool!” Chateau (Feel Alright) - Djo Maybe as a high jam. Maybe. Crazy Crazy Nights - KISS No. Hates KISS. Could get the same message from about 10 other, better songs. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac See number 13. Maybe the soundtrack to an acid trip he had once. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John and Kiki Dee Hates it, but definitely got pulled into a drunken karaoke rendition once (he was Kiki. Steve was Elton). Drive My Car - The Beatles Meh. He gets that they’re The Beatles and he respects that, but he’s not going out of his way to listen. Falling - Harry Styles No. Respects the “I’m well aware I write too many songs about you�� line, though. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen Once wrote an entire DnD one-shot where all of the characters and places were inspired by songs. The Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy made his appearance as an NPC. Glory of Love - Peter Cetera Would strangle Peter Cetera with his bare hands if he could. Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar Definitely just me projecting, but I think Eddie loves powerful women voices. Whether you read him as being attracted to women or not I think he just *clenches fist* loves women. Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue Yeah, dude loves Crue. Wants to be Mick Mars, especially after injuries sustained in the Upside Down. Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton John Go-to drunk karaoke song. Will never hear him admit to being a Grease fan outside of this context, but is definitely a comfort movie of his (he is, obviously, more of a Rizzo fan than a Sandy fan, but he’s a drama queen before all else and nothing says drama more than “Hopelessly.”). I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Please picture with me, if you will, a Corroded Coffin gig. Eddie has just gotten into a fight with his significant other (a small one, probably a misunderstanding, but Eddie is dramatic and loves and opportunity to “suffer for his art”). He knows they’ll be there. They never miss a show. So here comes Eddie, all eyeliner, leather, and angst, and they open with this. Of course, immediately after the gig it’s “I’m sorry baby,” and “You were amazing up there,” and all is forgiven. I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers I think every single Stranger Things character would find the parallels between their lives and this song to be too uncanny not to like this song. I’m in Love with My Car - Queen Uh, yeah. Especially mechanic Eddie. He’d tie his hair back and have this song blasting, singing along while he looks under the hood. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin This song is pure feral energy, just like Eds. I Punched Keanu Reeves - Hello Peril While hilarious (iykyk), no. He has an emotional attachment to Bill and Ted. Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry Yes. Is actively upset that Back to the Future tried to erase Chuck Berry’s genius by implying a white kid gave him the idea for this song. Killer Queen - Queen Favorite Queen song by far. Let’s Hear It for the Boy - Deniece Williams Does not like a single song from it, but actually really enjoyed Footloose. An oppressive small town, a guy who likes heavier music… so sue him, he identifies. Light My Love - Greta Van Fleet I love him, but Eddie would totally be a “Greta Van Fleet is a Led Zeppelin rip off” truther; man would listen to a single song and go off about authenticity and corporate bullshit before literally never giving them another chance again. Neighbors - J. Cole I genuinely think Eddie would be very stereotypically “I hate rap” for most of his teens and early twenties, but I think eventually he’d grow to appreciate any type of fight through music, especially protest songs, which this is. Norwegian Wood - The Beatles This is the perfect campfire song, and I think if you could convince Eddie to go acoustic for a weekend and go camping, this would be the first song he’d learn. Paranoid - Black Sabbath Eddie canonically likes Sabbath, so I would hope he likes one of their best singles. Is definitely on every “Intro to Metal” mixtape he’s ever made for his friends. Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God) - Kate Bush Pretty indifferent to it pre-Max. Now has a mixtape of everyone’s favorite songs. He carries it everywhere. Also learned it on guitar and plays it at the hospital when and if his name is cleared and he’s allowed in. Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) - Elton John “Token good Elton song,” according to him. Scarborough Fair/Canticle - Simon and Garfunkel Definitely something he would base a campaign off of. Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos As with every other DnD nerd, regardless of music preference, he fixates on it. Is the source of at least half of his LoTR/Ren Faire/DnD fantasies (the softer, less badass ones he doesn’t talk about). Refuses to believe it’s Jesus music. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus Are you kidding? This song is basically an autobiographical account of his life if/when he had a crush on anyone in a different friend group.

#stranger things #headcanons #music #playlist #eddie munson #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson headcanon #eddie #steddie #if you squint #eddie x reader #kinda #stranger things 4 #eddie munson playlist #eddie munson music #this is either going to get zero traction #or it's going to get me killed

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adamarks · 5 years ago

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If one more person says simon snow should lose his wings i’m gonna lose my goddamn mind: a meta

Alright you guys, I’ve had ENOUGH. Simon cannot lose his wings unless you want him to break up with Baz, and this is why.

Let’s start with Baz.

This analysis is obviously Simon-based, and yes i’ll get there, but first we need to look at the biggest key we’ve been given to what Simon’s wings could possibly mean subtextually and metaphorically for the story at large. That key is: Baz’s vampirism.

Baz being a vampire is constantly compared to/mentioned in tandem with his queerness in Carry On. In his first chapters, what are the three most important traits that we learn about him?

he’s a drama queen

he’s a vampire

he’s hopelessly in love with simon snow

If you boil his character down until he’s basically just a stick figure, that’s what he is: an over dramatic vampire in love with Simon Snow.

We’ve all read the books, we all know this, and we all know he’s much more than that. What of it?

What’s important is that Baz’s vampirism is treated almost the exact same as his homosexuality.

Hiding it from everyone, being ashamed of it, knowing what you are but being terrified of it. His dad being “definitely more disappointed in my queerness than my undeadness.”

I mean, holy shit, let’s look at this bit in Carry on from Chapter 51:

“I think if I got married, to a girl from a good family, my father wouldn’t even care that I’m queer. “

This scene really hits, because how many times have you wondered “What if I was straight? Maybe this thing wouldn’t be as bad?” “What if i was just a straight poc?” “What if I was only gay and not trans?” “What if I was only disabled and not gay on top of it?” What if, what if, what if. Would my life be easier? you wonder. Would I get hurt less? Would people treat me better?

If Carry On is about self-realization, then Wayward Son is about the struggle of self-acceptance.

Baz going to Las Vegas and meeting Lamb probably seemed familiar for some of you people that are LGBT+. It’s how you feel when you’re from a small town and you go to a big city like New York or Orlando or LA for the first time and you see gay people all around you. Flamboyantly gay! Gay people holding hands! Gay people kissing! Trans people that don’t fit the gender norms! Older trans ladies just walking down the street!

It’s exciting, it’s exhilarating. Your baby-gay brain is so confused because no one’s giving them dirty looks. They don’t look nervous or ashamed. Is this allowed?

The party in the penthouse is glamorous and beautiful and alluring and none of the humans there are scared or look like they’re in real danger. It’s because they aren’t. None of those vampires are there to kill people.

This is where Baz’s fear of his own nature comes in. Let’s hear it for all you homosexuals in the crowd that are/have been terrified of being predatory. Of turning the gender you’ve been told all of your life you’re not supposed to want into pieces of meat. You feel ashamed for wanting physical intimacy. You feel wrong for wanting emotional intimacy.

Lamb is the older gay that you meet/learn about/watch on youtube or whatever that makes you learn that no, you’re not inherently evil. Lamb is the queer history, the queer movies, the queer people that you discover that make you learn that “no, i’m not bad. I’m not broken. I’m beautiful. I’m beautiful.”

Baz thinking the sight of Lamb drinking that guy’s blood being alluring and beautiful is crucial to his arc. Baz needs to see that all of him is beautiful.

So homosexuality = Baz being a vampire? How in the flying fuck does this have anything to do with Simon?

Remember, Baz is our key. His struggles have been happening since book one. Simon just gained his “creature” status at the end of Carry On. He’s new to this. Which means we’re new to the subtext. Which means: let’s dive on into the next big point.

Our Big Bisexual Boy

Whatever label you choose to use for Simon is up to you. As long as we all agree he likes more than one gender then it’s whatevs. I’m going to be using the word bisexual for this meta, though.

We’re all well aware that Simon is Struggling with his bisexuality in this book.

“I still haven’t sorted out whether I’m still attracted to women or whether I ever was, or whether I’m some kind of Baz-only-sexual. But the cleavage at this place is abundant, and I’m not mad about it.”

(taken from chapter 21)

Like....... y’know. We know. It’s... we get it.

The important part of that quote is that it’s at the Ren Faire. The Ren Faire is the first time Simon’s had his wings out in public since god-knows-when, if ever. This is also the first time he really considers kissing Baz in the book. Kissing Baz in Public.

Any of you that have been to Pride probably got a little bit of the warm fuzzies during this scene. The faire brought back such deep memories of my first pride it was a little bit emotional. I talked to random people, people ran around in rainbow outfits. There was body paint! Stupid hats! Weird dye jobs! The classic pride-flag-as-a-cape look! I talked to so many people and

“Everyone here is so friendly.”

(also taken from chapter 21)

Everyone was so nice to me.

Baz feels right at home; Simon is all smiles. The only one not having a blast is Penny and she’s (I’m sorry, Penny) the token straight friend in these books.

I don’t know how Rainbow did it, but she made me relive my first pride through Simon, and I’ll never not be grateful for that.

“Today I’m someone else entirely. Today I’m just a bloke with fake red wings.”

The Pride/Ren Faire parallels were pretty obvious, but I wanna get a little further into the whole “wings = being bisexual” thing.

We’ve established with Baz that being a magical creature or whatnot is Gay, but while Baz is fully magical, Simon’s “half-normal.” Kind of. It’s a weird situation there but half-normal works for the argument.

“’Smells like dragon... but also smells like iron. Another abomination!’”

(chapter 35)

Now the word “abomination” is really fucking unfortunate in this context, but biphobia exists so idk man. I’m gonna start talking in gay/straight terms and I absolutely know bisexuality isn’t half-gay half-straight but we’re talking in metaphors and i’ll tie it together at the end so just stick with me, okay?

He’s part dragon, part Normal (kind of). Simon’s not like Baz where he’s absolutely, 100% a vampire. He has traits of dragons and humans. This is why it’s so bad that he hates his wings half the time. They are part of him. They may not be “normal” and he may have to hide them, but he can’t just cut off the gay part. Our queerness doesn’t define us, but it’s a defining feature.

Penny says she wouldn’t be her if she wasn’t a mage. Simon wouldn’t be Simon if he wasn’t bi.

The mistake Simon and almost everyone else makes during this book is that they think of his wings as these separate entities. There is no gay part and straight part of Simon Snow. All of him is Simon. From the tips of his toes to the tops of his wings, all of him is Simon. He might’ve discovered this part of himself during a tragic point in his life, but that doesn’t mean it has to be something bad. It doesn’t have to be something tainted.

Sometimes you discover things about yourself during the hardest moments of your life. When you’re already down in the dirt, beaten and bruised, sometimes a mirror is put in front of you and you realize something. You realize you’re trans. You realize you’re gay. And sometimes you resent those realizations because they came to you at the worst possible time. “This is just one more thing on my plate,” you think.

This series is about reclaiming the things that where taken from you by the ones that hurt you.

Simon’s going to have to learn to love his wings, because even though they remind him of something that hurts-- hurts more than anything-- they’re part of him. They are him, as much as the rest of his body is. Simon’s going to have to forgive himself, and learn to love himself for all that he is.

Because all that he is is beautiful.

We all know it; it’s time for him to understand that.

All right, bitches. Let’s get to the bit we all REALLY care about. this is the one that really fucks me up my dudes. Because it’s Brutal. But anyways here we go.

His wings are the Big Baz Love

What are the two things that Simon’s considering cutting off in this book?

“That’s what I’m going to say when I break up with Baz.”

“Dr. Wellbelove said he could remove the wings. And the tail. Whenever I’m ready.”

(Chapter 2, Epilogue)

Yikes!

My guys..... Simon and Baz don’t kiss unless Simon’s wings are out.

I truly do not understand how some of you are out here saying Simon’s gonna lose his wings I really don’t. It’s stressful. I’m stressed. Ms. Rainbow Rowell, you have me stressed.

His Wings! Are! His Love!

On Love’s Light Wings!

Goatman dances his nasty little fingers all over the bridge that is Baz’s ass? Wings out, uses his tail to help kill the guy. Lamb is hitting on Baz too much?

“’Spell my wings off.’”

(Chapter 45)

In the airport, when a lady is giving them the “don’t be gay” stink eye he immediately checks to make sure his tail is hidden.

Baz can’t spell his wings off, guys.

Baz can’t spell his wings away.

“’Snow needs you to cast your angel spell on him. I hid his wings for breakfast, but they’re still there.’“

(Chapter 19)

In Chapter 41, the biggest kiss scene we get, Simon wraps his wings around Baz to hold him. He’s embracing him in his love guys. Guys.

Have you people noticed how i’m suddenly less articulate? It’s because i’m in crisis. Set me on fire I wouldn’t notice. I’ve been living with this terrible knowledge.

The first scene we finally see them kiss is after the scene at the Ren Faire when Simon’s wings are finally out and he finally got to fly.

“Simon catches up with me and traps me against the car. He’s kissing me before I see it coming.”

Simon is so dtf in this scene Penny throws a water bottle at them, and it hits him in the wing.

“’So hot,’ Simon Says. ‘Got to see you fight without picking a fight with you myself.’

Bunce throws a plastic bottle over my shoulder, and it smacks Simon in the wing.”

(Chapter 22)

She had to smack him right in the love for him to calm down, my dudes, my guys. Do you realize how hard it was for me to annotate this goddamn book with this knowledge? Every. Single. Time. Simon stretches a wing or flaps them around it’s about Baz. It gets to the point where you have to put the book down or you’re gonna explode.

Simon’s wings are always out around Lamb. He’s jealous as hell and he hates that motherfucker’s guts. The only real injuries Simon sustains in this book are to his wings and they’re almost always when Baz gets hurt too.

When did Simon get his wings? Only a day after he first kissed Baz.

Simon’s love for Baz is so big and so obnoxious he can’t hide it. His wings and tail have spikes, because that’s all Simon knows. He’s rough around the edges, he’s been hurt, he’s been used.

He’s never been in love before.

His love is spiky; it’s loud. It’s hotrod red and you can’t miss it when it’s out. Baz can’t see it, because Simon’s tucked it away. He hasn’t flown with it. He hasn’t wrapped it around Baz in so long. He doesn’t know how to handle a love this big, where to put it, when to unfurl it.

Simon gets jealous. He gets scared. He’s insecure. He wants so dearly to finally give to someone instead of feeling like he’s just giving in. Like he’s still just taking from Baz.

What do you do with wings?

How do you find somewhere safe to fly?

The Resolution.

I said earlier that if Carry On is a story of self-discovery, Wayward Son is a story of self-acceptance.

Simon has to love himself, and learn that his love for Baz is a good thing. As he accepts himself (and his dragon powers evolve go read my dragon simon meta it’s good.) he’s going to start to shine.

This is a story being told to us with nothing but love. This is a story about a boy that’s his own worst enemy-- as all of us often are. It’s so scary to accept our wings. It’s so scary to accept our fangs. Especially when they’ve come out of such a hideous occurrence.

We need to accept these dark times and acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, we were made more beautiful because of them. Maybe the light we give after we’ve been in darkness is more vibrant, because we know how scary the dark is. The things that happened to us were horrible, and hideous, and terrifying, but we aren’t. We’re different from how we were before, but we’re still beautiful.

Simon Snow is going to accept himself.

Simon Snow is going to accept his past.

Simon Snow is going to finally, finally tell Baz he loves him.

And for the first time, Simon Snow is going to see that he’s beautiful.

If you’ve liked this meta you should also check out this one where i explain how they’re finally gonna get their relationship together. Also the one about the scarf

Special thank you to @singerofsimplesongs for listening to me howl and screech about this damn thing.

Tagging some people that might be interested!

@neck-mole @watfordwallflower @carrybits @theflyingpeach @fight-surrender @shitty-posty-times @wisest-girl @slaying-fictional-dragons @gucciglitzy

#carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #rainbow rowell #simon snow #snowbaz #baz pitch #Penelope Bunce #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #tyrannus basilton pitch #wayward son spoilers #meta #wayward son meta #carry on meta #this will end in flames #agatha wellbelove

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frryanrojo · 3 years ago

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What God can do in just eight days....

The Scene

I survived an eight-day silent retreat. The last time I attempted an eight-day silent retreat was in 2011, the summer after my Senior Year of College Seminary. It was during a program in priestly spirituality called the Institute for Priestly Formation. It was an imposed part of the program, so my inner-rebel hated the idea. By day four, I was on all my social media accounts, secretly making calls and texting in the privacy of my dorm room. I joke with others now that I was even “talking to the squirrels” out of desperation.

With that background, it’s not hard to imagine why I approached this week with some fear and trembling. I am not the man I was eleven years ago, and I wanted to take this experience somewhat seriously. I am still, however, the guy who enjoys to socialize. I am the guy who spends too much time on social media and Youtube, hopelessly wondering if someone is going to call or text. In other words: silence is not my idea of a good time.

That all being said, I made the decision to come. This retreat was advertised as a “retreat for vocation directors.”

“Perfect! I need a retreat, and I am a Vocation Director.”

It was advertised as including conferences: even better! I could listen to amazing homilists and preachers tell me about the “blessings” and “struggles” of being a Vocation Director before exhorting me to try harder at being a good boy. Who doesn’t like a good pep-talk? Meanwhile, I would allow my mind to wonder, eventually worrying about all the things I had to do back home that nobody else could possibly do. I would imagine how I could continue to impress my hordes of adoring fans and bishop.

Except that there were no conferences. There was no schedule. Just silence.

Being the “good boy” that I am, I decided early that the cell-phone and computer were going off. I would white-knuckle my way through the week without the streaks. I was not going to look at any text messages or emails because, again, that’s what good boys do. I was going to make this retreat worthwhile, because I deserved some time away to unplug from all my work. What I was going to do otherwise?

I made a schedule that I knew would be unrealistic by Wednesday, but resolve is half-the-battle, right? That was until my Spiritual Director, an amazing Franciscan Friar with a Jersey flair, literally tore up my schedule on day one. Shoot. (I had an electronic copy for these kinds of contingencies, of course. That’s what Good Boys do):

But did God have other plans.

The Priest

St. Norbert is my kind of dude. He’s not well known to many Catholics, but many people are familiar with the religious community he founded, the Premonstratensians Order of Canons Regular, or more simply the Norbertines. There’s a growing Norbertine community in California, at a place called St. Michael’s Abbey. You can read more about them here.

St. Norbert was by most accounts a worldly guy. He was born into a noble family, and he eventually settled in the German court of his time. Understanding that priesthood meant even more worldly success, he accepted ordination along with the financial and personal successes that came with the title. He was a pleasure-loving man, no matter the source of that pleasure.

I would consider myself an average priest and believer. For me, Christianity and Priesthood meant minding my P’s and Q’s, being the good boy that I was formed to be.

Bishop needed someone to do a job? Got it boss.

People needed to speak for some event? Done.

Someone needs to study Church Management at a prestigious Catholic University in the Northeast? I volunteer as tribute. Postnominals are attractive after all.

That being said, there was also an unspoken part of my life that very few people were aware existed. I can only describe it as a growing dissatisfaction with my circumstances. This dissatisfaction manifested itself in sin, self-hate, and shame. There seemed to be no way out, and my former “stays” of perfect ecclesiastical observance and the most traditional worldview just weren’t cutting it. Keep in mind that my Father’s sudden passing almost three-years ago only accelerated the decline. To be honest: I have been in what could be described as in the depths of Godforsaken-ness, without a hope. Dejection? My sense goes by many names.

St. Norbert’s story continues that he was out riding one evening when a thunderstorm suddenly boiled up. I’ll let Catholic Online narrate the rest:

But now high winds pushed and pulled at his fashionable coif, rain slashed at his fancy clothes, and dark roiling clouds pressed night down upon his light thoughts. A sudden flash of lightning split the dark and his horse bucked, throwing Norbert to the ground. For almost an hour, the still form of the courtier lay unmoving. Even the rain soaking his clothes and the howl of thunder did not bring him back to consciousness and life. When he awoke his first words were, "Lord, what do you want me to do?" -- the same words Saul spoke on the road to Damascus. In response Norbert heard in his heart, "Turn from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it."

I remember reading St. Norbert’s story and thinking, “I wish God would speak to me in such a powerful way.” But you know the saying: be careful what you wish for.

How Did The Priest Get Here?

“Grace builds upon nature” is a Scholastic phrase most seminarians learn their first year of college seminary. In layman’s terms, it means that God works with what you give him. More theologically precise, it is the belief that God’s Grace is operative in the soul that has first observed spiritual discipline: fostering a life of virtue, choosing good and avoiding evil, and frequenting the Sacraments.

By most accounts, I was doing what I thought I needed to do to have a nature predisposed to God’s grace. Remember: I am the good boy who always has an answer. By most accounts, I am the most zealous of Catholic Priests: mindful of every gesture in the Mass, every canon in the Code of Canon Law, and every whim of those who would listen.

I wonder if, however, nature can be understood more broadly to include disposition?

Disposition is a person’s inherent quality of mind of character. It is who we are, and it informs how we approach things. For example: a person might have a quiet disposition, meaning that they are the introverted type who does not offer commentary on things, ideas, or situations.

When it comes to my spiritual disposition, I can honestly say I that I have been all over the map. I have gone from tongue talking charasmatic to biretta wearing Latin Mass enthusiast, with everything in-between. At any given moment, these things have informed my openness to different ideas: to the love of God, my own sense of identity, and my own response in the face of tragedy. But in my lifetime, I sensed that these things cannot offer a response to a broken man trying to make sense of his life. In short: being a good boy just doesn’t cut it.

I admit again that I was a man searching for answers. I have been a committed Catholic since I was sixteen years old, but I felt like it was still day one in my spiritual life, with the last fourteen years being in vain. I did not know (conocer) God, but I knew sin, shame, and overall disappointment in how things have turned out in life.

With God’s grace, I did not come to this retreat with an ideology or an ecclesiology, since those things have let me down too many times to count. But to borrow an idea from Fr. Luigi Guissani, the founder of Communion and Liberation, I came here with an “I.” An “I” who was running out of options and hope. And when you are in the depths of God forsakenness, your disposition softens, your heart is not so hardened, and your soul is thirsting.

And God does something miraculous.

The Unexpected

The details of this week are between me and my beloved Jesus Christ, but I am leaving this experience conscious that my spiritual identity is not in an ideology, an ecclesiology, or a theological worldview: but it is a person. This person is Jesus Christ.

I encountered a person who is madly in love with me. I encountered a person who would move mountains to take possession of my soul. I met a man who would burn this whole world down if it meant being with me, his beloved. And my response is the only rational response in the face of such love: “I belong to my lover, and for me he yearns” (Song of Songs 7: 11). In truth, his love is absolutely reckless.

When the walls of ideology, worldview, and even priesthood were lowered, God flooded my newly opened heart and began the work of transformation and healing. He nailed my heart with the nail of His Holy Spirit to his heart, so that I can never leave again.

In a word, God allowed me to feel absolute compunction. Sr. Mary Margaret Funk, in her book Thoughts Matters, defines compunction in the following way:

Compunction...is a felt experience of being struck down, pierced to the heart. One is moved to deep sorry and repentance. Compunction is not something that happens to a seeker once or twice, after some sinful incident. Compunction is a burning state, like being in love. It is a resolve, a heightened relationship with God that seems not to have moods or periods of doubt. When we feel compunction, we feel like a sinner in constant need of God’s mercy. Compunction causes an impulse in us to come closer, through remorse, to love and union with God, not hiding in shame or guilt. Remorse purifies...pierced to the heart, the seeker experiences and overwhelming sense of the importance of a relationship with God...often accompanied by tears. Compunction is the awakening of a dead heart and the experience of a right relationship with God. There’s no sadness in the “gift of tears,” only gratefulness for being forgiven, being alive, being in relationship with God...Words are the language of the mind, but tears are the language of the soul.

Needless to say, this is a book everyone should read.

You see: This retreat was not about the silence at all. The silence was merely a tool: a tool to create space for a deeper awareness of God and his love. Encountering love in person is the difference between good boy motivations (which eventually leave us hallow) and being in love. It is the difference between having to pray a holy hour and wanting to pray a holy hour, because on the other side is not an obligation or an idea, but a person. A person madly in love with me.

Where to now?

In 2 Samuel 7:18-29, we read about King David’s emphatic prayer of thanksgiving. What’s the scene? King David begins to concern himself with building a house for God, famously realizing, “Here I am living in a house of cedar, while the ark of God dwells in a tent!” David relays this sense to the Prophet Nathan, who receives from the Lord this response for the king. The entire response of God is worth mentioning:

Is it you who would build me a house to dwell in? I have never dwelt in a house from the day I brought Israel up from Egypt to this day, but I have been going about in a tent or a tabernacle. As long as I have wandered about among the Israelites, did I ever say a word to any of the judges whom I commanded to shepherd my people Israel: Why have you not built me a house of cedar….I will raise up your offspring after you, sprung from your loins, and I will establish his kingdom. He it is who shall build a house for my name, and I will establish his royal throne forever. I will be a father to him, and he shall be a son to me. If he does wrong, I will reprove him with a human rod and with human punishments; but I will not withdraw my favor from him as I withdrew it from Saul who was before you. Your house and your kingdom are firm forever before me; your throne shall be firmly established forever (2 Samuel 7: 5-7; 12-17).

King David had been the recipient of many blessings: the kingship from Saul, Judah and Israel, and even Jerusalem itself, the capital city. The Lord in his bountiful goodness, however, chose to shower King David with something more: an everlasting lineage, which would culminate in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

David, in the face of such overwhelming generosity, turns his attention most beautifully to the Lord in a prayer of thanksgiving. Recognizing the goodness of the Lord, David offers these lines to God:

Who am I, Lord GOD, and what is my house, that you should have brought me so far? And yet even this is too little in your sight, Lord GOD! For you have made a promise regarding your servant’s house reaching into the future, and giving guidance to the people, Lord GOD (2 Samuel 7: 18b-19, emphasis mine).

The entire prayer is worth a read, but David’s beautifully poetic lines in the face of God’s ongoing grace upon grace—goodness upon goodness—is amazingly the line, “…and even this is too little in your sight.”

The most amazing part of my love story is that this experience this week is “too little” in the face of what God has in store for me. God promised to continue with his many blessings, because that is who he is and who he has always been. He only needed an open heart.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path. I make a solemn vow to observe your righteous judgments.” --Psalm 119: 105-106.

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allsassnoclass · 4 years ago

Note

Hazel! Can I submit ““i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years” for lashton??

as you wish my dear

Ficmas Day 2

Rating: teen and up

Read on AO3

Ashton knew he was screwed the moment he picked Luke’s name out of the hat for Secret Santa, but it doesn’t fully hit him until the night before the last day of school before break. They’re going to exchange gifts once all of the students leave at the end of the day, and Ashton has to admit that he went a little overboard.

He’s supposed to wrap and bring one gift. He has six.

“Hey, Calum,” he says once the other person picks up the phone. “So. I’m in a bit of a pickle.”

“Why?” Calum asks, voice tinny and almost overpowered by Michael’s very loud singing in the background. He gasps. “Ash, tell me you didn’t leave Luke’s present until right now. There’s no way I can help you with less than 24 hours to go.”

“How do you know I have Luke?” Ashton frowns. “Have you been snooping?”

“No, but I saw your face when you drew the name.”

Ashton sighs. “Fuck, do you think he knows?”

“Well, he’d have to know that you’ve been in love with him since he started at the school, and we both know Luke is not self-aware enough for that. You can’t drop hints with him, because he won’t pick them up. Remember when we all went to eat and the waitress was tripping over herself to flirt with him? He didn’t even notice.”

Ashton remembers that night well. It hadn’t been the first time a stranger tried to chat up Luke, and just like every instance before Ashton had to tamp down his jealousy. Luke is an attractive and appealing guy. He can’t fault other people for noticing that too and shooting their shot.

“That doesn’t help my crisis.”

“Which is…?”

Ashton glances at the presents sitting on his floor with wrapping paper next to them.

“Can you come over?” he asks.

“You didn’t get him another dog, did you?” Calum asks dubiously.

“Of course not,” Ashton says. “I’m not an idiot Calum. Dogs aren’t surprise presents. I just… still may have gone a bit overboard on this one.”

“Overboard how?”

“I have six presents and I need you to help me choose.”

Calum sighs.

“I’ll be there in five minutes, and I’m bringing Michael.” He hangs up before Ashton can protest.

Great. Now instead of being subject to Calum’s quiet judgement, he’s going to have to deal with Michael laughing at him, too.

They find him sitting on the floor of his living room, wrapping paper tube in hand but no closer to figuring out what he’s doing.

“Hey,” Calum says, sitting down next to him. Ashton grunts. “Walk me through the presents. Let’s see what we’re dealing with here.”

Michael flops down on the couch behind them.

“Well, I got him a cookbook, because I saw it at the store and know he wants to start cooking for himself more, plus it says they’re easy. But cookbooks are so bleh, so I made a donation to the shelter he got Petunia from in his name, but I don’t want to show up and have him be the only person who doesn’t get to take something home with him at the end of the night, so then I started thinking about how he’s always late so I got him this personalized watch with his name and an engraving on the back, but I don’t want him to take it as something passive aggressive so I got him a framed artistic map of his hometown since I know he misses it, but then I thought that’s lame because he can get a map anywhere, so I called up his mom and there are these rings that you can get thumbprints engraved on so I worked with her and got one of those with her fingerprint because I know he misses her like crazy, but that’s way too much and I wasn’t sure if it would arrive on time so I got one of those books of affirmations and personalized a few for days when he feels bad.”

Calum gapes at him. Michael pats him once on the head.

“I think you should just fuck him for Christmas.”

Ashton groans and buries his head in his hands.

“Shut up, Michael. No one asked you.”

“I’m just saying!”

“Ashton,” Calum says slowly. “We are teachers at a public school. There was a $20 cap on the presents. How much did you spend?”

“Um,” he says. “If the cookbook was paperback it might have been less than $20.”

“Well,” Calum sighs, “at least you aren’t the economics teacher.”

“If you fuck him, it would be free.”

“Shut up, Michael!”

“Babe, stop antagonizing him.”

“But I’m right!”

Calum gives Michael a look that makes him sulk off to the kitchen, probably to eat all of Ashton’s ice cream.

“Okay,” Calum says. “You can’t give him all of that in front of everyone. He’ll definitely know you’re in love with him, and it’s not fair to everyone else getting smaller $20 gifts. Wrap the cookbook and give him the rest later.”

Ashton grimaces.

“Luke deserves better than just a cookbook, though. He’s…”

“He’s what?”

Ashton has known Luke for three years and is still no closer to figuring out how to describe him. He’s an English teacher, yet all words fail when he thinks about the math teacher who’s classroom sits down the hall. It makes him want to read more Shakespeare or Browning or EE Cummings to see if someone else can say it better than him.

Luke is a breath of fresh air when he’s been underground too long. He’s flowers in bloom, meteors visible from Earth, and rain when the sun is still shining. He’s incredibly grumpy in the mornings when he comes in to work, but always gives Ashton a smile. He gives his students pop quizzes but doesn’t count them towards their grades, only uses them to see what concepts need clarifying. He has his students complete logic puzzles for extra credit and brings snacks on Fridays. He has stupid rhymes and songs to help people remember formulas and they actually work. Ashton had never seen a group of students truly excited about math until Luke joined their staff.

“He deserves better than a stupid cookbook for his present.”

“Meet him later to give him the rest,” Calum says. “Unless you want everyone else on staff to know you’re hopelessly in love with him, too?”

“You don’t,” Michael calls from the kitchen. “If you think I’m bad, you have no idea what Sierra is capable of. When she found out I like Calum, it was brutal. Hey, do you have any chocolate sauce?”

“You were no help tonight. You don’t deserve chocolate sauce,” he calls back. Michael appears in the doorway with a bowl and spoon, distressed.

“I said you should fuck him. If you need different advice, then do what Calum says. He’s smart most of the time.”

“Aw, thanks,” Calum says.

“Most of the time,” Michael emphasizes, brandishing his spoon. “You’re still stupid for liking the lesser science.”

“Please don’t start that again,” Ashton says. “If you two start arguing about chemistry and physics I’m kicking you out. I know it’s foreplay for you, and that makes it weird.”

“Well, Michael and I do have a lot of chemistry together.”

“Nice,” Michael says. “We should use my lever to shift your center of mass.”

“I hate you both so much,” Ashton groans.

“You’d hate us less if you had a boyfriend of your own,” Michael says over his shoulder, already heading back to the kitchen.

“That’s not the point,” Ashton says. “I’m not trying to get a boyfriend right now. I just… I don’t know. I want him to have nice things.”

Calum clasps his shoulder, giving him a small shake.

“You’re a nice thing, too.”

Ashton buries his head in his hands again.

“Hey. He’ll love his cookbook, and if you give him the rest he’ll absolutely love that, too.”

Something crashes in the kitchen.

“I’m going to go check on him,” Calum says. “Give Luke the cookbook. Ask him to meet you later so you can give him the other presents. I’ll be right back to help wrap them.”

Ashton nods miserably and unrolls the wrapping paper.

-/-

Ashton wakes up the next day with a headache already pressing against his skull. Calum and Michael had stayed late the night before, helping wrap the presents and then poking at him until he agreed to play a few rounds of MarioKart with them. Halfway through the first race he remembered that he still had papers to grade that he promised the students would be done before break, so he moved his grading to the living room and listened to Michael and Calum trash talk each other and the cheesy music of each course. Nothing managed to fully distract him from the presents sitting in the corner, though, and even when he eventually went to bed he spent most of the night tossing and turning.

The kids are always squirly the day before a break, but the lack of sleep only makes his patience shorter. The end of each class period brings a sigh of relief for everyone, and he relishes in the few minutes he gets where he can relax instead of teach as long as he doesn’t dwell on the impending gift exchange.

Not even seeing Luke this morning and having lunch with him had managed to ease some of the tension pressing against the base of his skull. He can’t fully enjoy his company when he’s the source of his problem.

When the final bell rings, Ashton wishes he could rush out of the building with the students, but instead he puts his classroom back to rights, monitors the hall for a few minutes, then grabs his present and heads to the staff lounge.

“Hey,” Michael says, sliding up to him after he deposits his present on the middle table. “How’s it going?”

“I’m shitting bricks,” Ashton says. “And I slept like shit because you and Calum didn’t get out of my house until midnight.”

“Relax, dude. It’s Luke. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Ashton doesn’t say he could hate my present and then hate me or he might figure out that I’m hopelessly in love with him. He shrugs. Michael snorts, then promptly forgets about Ashton as soon as Calum walks in the door. Luke walks in right behind him, so Ashton pretty much forgets about Michael, too, because Luke is wearing a red button up and black slacks and his hair is a big curly mess. His math classes seem to be perpetually bursting with activity, and Ashton loves seeing the transition from grumpy and put-together to beaming and unkempt throughout the day. Luke is the only person he knows who gains limitless energy from his students, always bouncing after the last class instead of exhausted by a full day of work.

Ashton doesn't have a chance to greet him before Principal Feldman walks in, promptly starting the gift exchange since "so many of us will be happy to go on break and there are a lot of us to get through." He takes it upon himself to start passing out the presents. Ashton joins along with everyone else "oooo-ing" and "ahhhh-ing" at each gift, but he's too distracted to try to help people guess who their particular Santa may be.

Michael gets a stapler and a gift card to an office supply store because he keeps misplacing his desk materials. Calum gets a shirt with a chemistry pun from Anne in the office. Ashton ends up getting a small care package from Calum with some bath bombs, chapstick, and a scented candle because Calum says he needs to learn how to relax more. Ashton is just happy it wasn't another mug with a book pun on it, because Calum likes sending him pictures of those whenever he runs across one but Ashton already has too many to fit in his cupboard.

Luke is one of the last people to open his gift. He comments on the cute snowflake pattern on the wrapping paper then tears through it, flipping the book around to fully read the cover.

"It's a cookbook!" he enthuses. "I need this. Who knew I needed this?" He looks around the room, lighting up once he locks eyes with Ashton. "Ashton! Is it you?"

"Yeah, that's from me," Ashton says.

"Thank you!" Luke beams. Feldman quickly moves on to the next present and Luke opens the cookbook, pursuing the pages instead of paying attention. By the time everyone has their present and starts to filter out of the lounge, Ashton has been doing breathing exercises to ensure he doesn't psych himself out. Michael pats him on the back when he drags Calum out, which does less to encourage Ashton and more to ignite his nerves, but he's not about to let the other five presents he has go to waste.

"Hey, Luke," he calls. Luke pauses in his tracks, stepping to the side to get out of the doorway and let the rest of their coworkers pass. "Can you stop by my classroom? There's another part of your present I need to give you."

"There's more?" Luke asks. "Ash, the cookbook is already amazing, I don't need anything else."

"Don't you want to know what it is?" Ashton asks.

Curiosity wins out over any lingering politeness. Luke eagerly follows Ashton out the door and through the halls to his classroom. It's tucked into a corner, which Ashton likes because it means he has a lot of windows, and he's been there for long enough that the walls are covered in posters, quotes, pictures, and some particularly striking student works. Four boxes and an envelope sit wrapped on the desk in the same snowflake wrapping paper.

"Are all of those..."

"Yeah," Ashton says. "I got a little carried away."

"Wow."

"Here." Ashton hands him the envelope. "Start here."

Luke tears open the flap as messily as he tore open the wrapping paper earlier, pulling out the donation receipt inside.

“This is the place I got Petunia,” he says.

“I know.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I try to donate to them every year but… thank you. They’ll be able to do some good with this.”

Ashton clears his throat. “You’re welcome. Here’s the next one.”

He unwraps the map next.

“I know you miss it,” Ashton says. “There’s some star stickers in there, too, if you want to mark important places.”

Luke’s eyes glitter with memories as he looks over it. He gasps and turns the frame towards Ashton. “Here’s my house! Right there. And then over here was my school, and the movie theater…. Sorry. You don’t want to listen to me go on about this. What’s next?”

Ashton could listen to Luke tell him stories about his hometown all night, but he’s looking expectantly at him and there’s still three presents sitting on his desk.

He tosses him the watch next. Luke fumbles when he catches it. Ashton is extremely thankful that it’s packed in the box well and won’t break, especially when Luke shakes it.

He laughs when he sees what’s inside.

“I get it. I won’t miss our lunch dates anymore.”

“Sure you won’t,” Ashton teases. “There’s an inscription on it, too.”

Luke takes the watch out of the box and flips it over.

“‘Education is our passport to the future.’”

“‘Education is our passport to the future,” Ashton recites, “for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.’ Malcolm X.”

“Appropriate,” Luke says. “Thanks.”

He puts the watch on, struggling a little with the clasp. Ashton reaches out and helps, careful not to make it too tight or too loose. Luke’s wrist is soft beneath his fingers, a patch of smooth pale skin covering his pulse. When he finishes, neither of them move away.

“It’s wonderful, Ashton. Thank you,” Luke says. “I’m going to wear it every day.”

“It suits you.”

Luke gives him a smile that sends Ashton reaching for another present before he does something uncalled for like lean forward and try to kiss him.

“This one’s for bad days. It’s not much, but I wanted you to have reminders of how amazing you are.”

Luke rips off the paper and softens like butter once he starts flipping through the book of affirmations.

“A lot of them are generic, but there are a few personalized ones in there, and all of them are true anyway.”

“Ashton, this is too much,” Luke says. “This is insane. You went above and beyond Secret Santa.”

“Well.” Ashton scratches the back of his neck, the feeling of a blush prickling under his skin. “I can’t exactly return them since they’re personalized. I kept seeing things that made me think of you.”

“Thank you. I don’t--” he laughs-- “I don’t know what to say.”

“Save it until you get your last gift. Then you can judge them all.”

The last box is the smallest, but it’s heavy with a phantom weight. Ashton went above and beyond for this one, going so far as to contact Liz when he’s only talked to her a few times before, and Luke is either going to think it’s sweet or creepy.

“It’s small,” Luke says, testing the feel of the box in his hands. He glances up at Ashton before taking off the paper, then again when he sees that the box is a ring box. Ashton holds his breath while he opens it, wanting to spare himself from seeing Luke’s reaction but not able to look away.

The silver ring glints in the light, a thick band pinched between Luke’s fingers so he can look at it closer.

“What…” he trails off.

“I talked to your mum,” Ashton says. “The engraving on the outside is her fingerprint. I know you miss her, and this way you can have a piece of her with you all the time.

“I can’t accept this,” Luke says. “It’s too much.”

He tries to hand it to Ashton, but he closes Luke’s hand around the ring and pushes it back towards his chest.

“It’s personalized,” he says. “It doesn’t mean anything to me, so you need to keep it.”

Luke briefly looks down at the ring again. When he meets Ashton’s gaze, his eyes are glistening.

“You’re going to make me cry,” he laughs. “Sorry. Thank you. So Much.”

He reaches for him, and Ashton’s thankful that Luke seems to fit perfectly in his arms.

“I can’t believe you got all this for a stupid Secret Santa,” he sniffs when he pulls away.

“You deserve it,” Ashton says earnestly. “I kept seeing things I knew you would appreciate. Guess I got a bit carried away.”

“A bit,” Luke teases. Ashton smiles. Luke’s teasing is a different kind, always giving the impression that it’s somehow an inside joke between them instead of Luke laughing at him.

“I have something for you, too,” Luke says. “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but if you got me so much I feel better giving you this one thing.”

“Oh?”

Luke reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out a book. Ashton can tell what it is even before Luke hands it to him.

“Leaves of Grass,” he says, running his hand over the vines and leaves adorning the hard cover behind the gold leaf of the title.

“You said you wanted another copy since your old one is full of annotations.”

“You didn’t have to do this,” he says, tracing the swirling script of Walt Whitman’s name.

“Okay, Mr. I-got-a-billion-presents-for-my-Secret-Santa. I wanted to give you something nice.”

It’s a thought Ashton has had thousands of times during his own gift-buying process, and that’s what compels him to finally ask “Do you want to go on a date with me? We could go to dinner or a movie, maybe ice skating or something more festive?”

“I thought you’d never ask!”

Ashton grins, smile threatening to split his face in two.

“Maybe not ice skating, though,” Luke says. “I’m all legs and no coordination.”

“Dinner, then,” Ashton says. “Do you like Italian? I could pick you up next week.”

“I love Italian, and getting picked up.”

“Good,” Ashton says. “Great!”

“Great!”

Ashton knows his smile is verging on dopey, but it’s okay because Luke has the same stupid-happy look on his face. Luke’s phone rings and shatters the moment, but Ashton can’t even be that upset when Luke takes a few steps away to answer, glancing back with immense fondness and answering the person on the other line with vague and distracted noises.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke says when he hangs up. “I have to go. I promised Sierra I’d help her with some last-minute classroom things.”

“That’s okay,” Ashton says. “I’ll call you.”

“Okay,” Luke smiles. “Please do. I mean--yeah. I’d like that.’

“I will,” Ashton says. Then, because someone has to be responsible and get Luke out the door instead of locked in a staring contest, he stacks Luke’s gifts and passes them off to him.

“Okay. I’ll see you later! On our date!”

“See you, Luke!”

Luke stumbles on his way out the door, too distracted trying to look back at Ashton. He’s right: he really is all legs and no coordination.

Watching him leave with his new book in hand, Ashton thinks that he got the best gift of all this year.

#my writing #lashton #5sos fanfic #ficmas 2020

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awhitehead17 · 4 years ago

Text

Everything’s Out Of Control

Chapter 2 / Previous Chapter

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

Tim is pleased to find that nothing happens as he steps out of the glowing oval thing. There’s a slight tingling sensation humming through his body but other than that everything appears to be fine.

When he appears the other side, he’s grateful to see Kon already standing there. His best friend had been surveying the new surroundings until he heard Tim appear behind him. Kon turns and sends him a smile. “Well this is a good start.”

For a second Tim wonders if inviting Kon along with him onto this mission was a wise idea. How was he supposed to concentrate on the task at hand if Kon’s sending him that smile which warms him to the core and makes him forget anything else going on? Then again how could he not invite him? Kon’s one of the few he truly trusts.

After a few seconds Tim returns the smile but with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t get too cocky, we’ve only just got here. Who knows what we’ll encounter in this world.”

As Kon waves off his concern, Tim finally takes in their surroundings for the first time.

They’re in a dimly lit alleyway between a couple tall apartment buildings. One end leads out into an open busy street while the other leads to what looks like a dead end but could possibly turn to the right. It’s currently night-time, the darkness of the sky hinting it’s probably in the middle of the night, and the temperature around them is mild.

Tim turns to Kon. “We need to work out a plan of action. The sooner we find this person the sooner we can leave again.” Kon hums and reaches into his pocket, bringing out the small vial Zatanna had given him. Tim remembers then, what he was supposed to do when they arrived. Digging through his belt he brings out his own vial and studies it.

The vial is full of an orange liquid, giving Tim the impression that it’s orange juice. He’s knows it’s not, but it helps with the thoughts that he's drinking something he doesn’t know much about. Zatanna said this will allow them to see things that are normally covered from normal human eyes. it’s an odd thought but it’s not like he’s in a position to comment on it, after all Zatanna wouldn’t make them take it if it wasn’t important right?

Kon holds his out to Tim, looking unsure of it himself. “Cheers?”

Tim clinks his vial with Kon’s, “cheers,” and the two of them down the liquid. As soon as it goes down his throat his grimacing at the bitter aftertaste it leaves in his mouth. Opposite him Kon is wearing the same expression.

“Right, now that’s done,” Tim starts putting the empty vial away, “we need to work out exactly where we are and get tracking of this Magnus Bane guy.”

“She said something about Brooklyn,” Kon says looking around, “if we’re already in Brooklyn, then how do we even start looking for this guy. Even she said that there’s a chance he could have moved by now.”

Tim sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “We start with the backstreets and keep to the shadows, even this world must have something like shady people, gangs or whatever. We try and find some of those people and ask around and then hope for the best?”

“Sounds good.” Kon agrees easily, looking unbothered by the vagueness of it.

They don’t even make it to the end of the alley way before something happens.

The two of them were walking towards the dead end part of the alley when sudden shouting erupts from nearby. As soon as they hear it, Tim and Kon share a knowing look. Even though they weren’t in their own world, doesn’t mean they weren’t going to help out where they can.

Tim grabs his bo staff and extends it to full length, going to the wall he begins to crouch walk along it and feels Kon right behind him. As they get closer to the end of the alleyway, Tim’s original assumption was right, it does bend around to the right. Now being closer Tim could tell it leads off into more back alleys behind the buildings.

The shouting becomes clearer, louder and more frequent as they get closer. More sounds get mixed into it, such as slamming of trash cans, screaming and a sound Tim doesn’t recognise. It was like a low growling clicking noise. He’s got no ideas on what it could be.

Once they get to the edge, just before the corner leading to the right, Tim stops and holds three fingers up to Kon. Years of teamwork allows the two of them to work effectively without any verbal communication. Just as Tim starts to count down to three with his fingers, a louder more prominent scream happens and suddenly a body was flying across their vision.

They watch wide eyed as the person smacks into the wall to their left and falls limply to the ground. Before either of them could react the growling clicking noise was back, grabbing their attention. Gesturing to Kon, together they jump out to face the threat.

Tim didn’t know what to expect as they position themselves ready to fight, but an enormous black monster creature type thing was certainly not something Tim had been expecting. Both Tim and Kon stare at the thing, unable to comprehend what they were seeing.

It appeared to have a long slimy black body, multiple legs with claws sprouting from its sides, a cluster of eyes in the centre of its head with a long black tongue hanging from its mouth that was lined with jagged teeth and to top it off it had a wicked sharp tail.

“What. The. Fuck.” Kon breathes out almost horror. “I have never seen anything like that before dude. And that’s saying a lot.”

Tim agrees. This is certainly new. He quickly glances over his shoulder to the body that slammed into the wall earlier, only to find that they’re gone. Tim blinks and pauses, having unexpected that scenario, well at least that’s one less thing to worry about.

“Tim what do we do?” Kon asks him standing by his side with his fists raised.

“I actually have no idea. I don’t know what this thing is or how we can stop it.” Tim hates to admit it, but that’s the truth. “I don’t want either of us to touch it because we have no idea what it could do to us.”

The two of them continue to stare at the creature, unsure on what to do. It’s not until Kon shifts, causing some gravel underneath his shoe, that the creature’s attention turns to them. It’s head whips in their direction then without any warning it’s charging towards them.

Both Tim and Kon let out a shocked cry before diving opposite sides to get out of the way of the thing. Tim lands into a roll and springs back up to his feet just in time to see the creature smack straight into the wall. It would be funny if it wasn’t terrifying.

The creature stumbles away from the wall, taking a moment to get it’s bearings again before it’s turning and charging towards Kon. Kon curses and takes to the air, hovering out of its reach. He curses again when the thing attempts to swipe at him with its tail.

“Tim!?”

Tim stares hopelessly at the scene in front of him, feeling completely out of his element. He has no idea what this thing is or if it can be killed. Not having the knowledge of something is the worst thing to Tim, he likes to know everything he’s facing, he likes having all the facts, he feels comforted by the idea of having many plans and contingency plans, but this… he’s in the deep end with no clue on how to swim.

Kon yells and Tim’s brought back to what’s happening. The creature makes that sound again and swings his tail at Kon who barely dodges it. He has very little time to settle before he’s dodging another strike. Tim watches, horrified, as the creature’s strikes get quicker and as Kon’s barely dodging them each time.

He needs to help Kon! But how? There’s not a lot he can do, he has no idea on how to stop this creature without potentially touching or getting hit by it.

Unfortunately Tim takes too long to think of something because Kon is suddenly screaming at the tail finally hits him, successfully catching his side and smacking him into the wall to the left. Kon hits the bricks with a sickening crack and starts falling towards the ground, as he falls the creature is on him in seconds.

Despite Kon’s struggles, the creature easily pins him to the ground with its claws and starts digging it’s claws into Kon’s body. The action makes Kon scream out in pain as he wiggles futilely underneath the thing. In his own distress, Tim also cries out and without thinking about it he sprints forwards. Tim jumps up at the wall and uses it as some kind of springboard to boost himself towards the creature, the momentum he creates allows him to kick the thing off Kon and slam it into the opposite wall.

As it rights itself, Tim scrambles to his feet and runs down the other end of the alleyway, he needs to get it away from Kon. Once there’s some distance Tim bangs on the garbage bin nearby, creating noise to attract it’s attention so it’s on him and not his best friend.

The creature takes the bait and starts charging towards him, once again Tim dodges its attack by rolling to the side. Getting up to his feet, Tim knows he needs to come up with a plan as soon as possible. Playing cat and mouse will only work for so long and it’s not like Tim has endless amount of energy.

Perhaps he can keep letting itself ram into the wall? Will it hurt itself by doing that?

The thing turns to him again and Tim starts backing up, making his distance between the end wall and himself as small as possible. By the time it’s charging at him again there’s only a couple feet in between Tim and wall. It’ll have to do. Just as he did before Tim times it just right and at the last possible second dives to the right to avoid being hit. He rolls into a crouch and watches as the creature runs straight into the wall head first.

This time is different than the last however, because as it smacks into the bricks its own tail curls around the body and penetrates itself in the neck.

Tim stares as it freezes, then spasms and falls to the ground unmoving. Frozen in place Tim has no idea on what to do. Was it dead? Did it accidently kill itself? Tim swallows thickly and cautiously stands up, eyeing the motionless creature. Being brave, Tim wonders over to it and keeps his distance as he reaches out with his staff to poke it. As soon as his weapon touches the thing he jumps back a few steps just in case something happens. When nothing does transpire he lets out a long breath. Okay, for now it is dead.

Tim’s brought out of his moment of relief when a pained cry reaches his ears. Kon! How could he forget Kon! Instantly feeling awful, Tim dashes towards his fallen friend. He skids to his knees at Kon’s side and takes in the damage.

It wasn’t good. The sight of Kon’s wounds through his torn shirt makes him want to vomit. He could see where the creature had pierced Kon’s skin leaving punctured like holes in his best friend’s torso. Blood was oozing out of the wounds but that wasn’t the only thing Tim could see.

From the holes there appeared to be a black substance surrounding the wound. Whatever it was it seemed to be spreading through Kon’s body, little black veins starting to stretch across his stomach heading down to his hips and then up towards his neck.

Kon groans and shifts. “Hurts…”

Tim reaches out and places a comforting, yet restraining, hand on his shoulder. “Just hang in there Kon.”

He doesn’t promise that it’ll be okay, he doesn’t say he’s going to be fine, Tim doesn’t mention about getting help. Because how could he? Tim’s absolutely lost in what to do.

Instead, Tim takes Kon’s hand with his free one and squeezes it as he attempts to think of a solution.

He doesn’t get long to think about it because noise from the other end of the alley grabs his attention. Panic rushes through him and he snaps his gaze behind him where he had last seen the creature. What if it had come back to life… Tim sighs in relief when he finds it still there, lying on the ground dead.

With the thing still there, that means the noise is coming from elsewhere.

“Look, see what I told you,” a voice speaks out gaining Tim’s attention. He looks down the opposite end of the alley to find a group of people walking towards him and Kon. “I said there was something going on down here.”

There’s three of them, two women and a man. Tim’s panic only increases because how the hell is he supposed to explain this situation? How is he supposed to explain the dead monster?

The group were getting closer by the second and Tim does nothing more but watch them approach.

“Well, let’s say this night isn’t turning out to be so boring after all.” Another voice from the groups speaks up with a long drawl.

They finally come into view and Tim eyes them wearily while he subtly shifts his body so it’s mostly covering Kon. The group stop a couple feet away and look down at him, staring almost hungrily at him and Kon.

“They smell wonderful,” one of the women comments with a sultry smile.

“Good enough to eat,” the second one says, exaggerating the way she licks her lips.

The man steps forward, making a point to sniff the air and stares directly at Tim. “Never smelt anything like this before.”

The first voice speaks up again, this time Tim identifies it as one of the women. “Now what are a couple of kids doing out alone at this time of night? Playing dress up? Role playing?”

Tim finds himself unable to do anything other than stare at the group before him. He couldn’t work out what they meant by smelling good, or being good enough to eat (he certainly knows he doesn’t like the sound of that or even the way they’re looking at him), but in that time he had completely forgotten he was in uniform still. His Red Robin costume covering his body with a domino mask covering half of his face.

Maybe he should have come in civvies and hid his belt underneath the clothes? How is he supposed to explain all the weapons and armour he has on him?

“Time to eat guys!”

Tim’s taken out of his thoughts at the loud exclamation. Before he could react hands were suddenly on him and dragging him away from Kon, who was still lying limply on the ground, whimpering in pain.

“NO!” He screams. Tim begins to thrashes in the hold on him and lets his instincts kick in. They obviously hadn’t been expecting him to be able to fight back as strongly as he could because he had knocked two of them away by the time they catch up with what is happening.

In one harsh movement Tim is thrown to the side. He feels his body collide with the wall and as his head smacks against the bricks. Instant pain flares up at the back of his skull which causes him to cry out as he falls to the ground.

Hands were on him again and Tim barely registers the fact that they’re hauling him upright and forcing him against the wall. Hands pin back his shoulders as a thigh is wedged between his own and another hand grabs a fist full of his hair and forces his head back, exposing his neck.

Tim groans and tries to shake off the dizziness that’s settled over him. Concussion, he thinks idly, hopefully not too bad of one.

The people surrounding him are talking again and Tim could barely focus on the words. His mind’s all over the place. First the creature thing, then Kon getting injured and is dying, now he’s got a concussion and something else is going to happen but he can’t work out what.

“Look at this delicious neck hmmm…” One of the women purr out. Tim couldn’t help but flinch as she drags a nail across his exposed skin. “I can’t wait to get stuck in.”

Tim has enough sense to know that isn’t normal. He squints at her only to be more panicked than before. Where she was smiling two long fangs could be seen sprouting out from her teeth.

“That world has creatures such as angels, demons, warlocks, vampires, werewolves, seelie’s and shadowhunters”

It finally clicks in Tim’s mind. Vampires. Zatanna had said this world has things that don’t exist in theirs. This woman’s teeth and how the group were on about the way they smell and were good enough to eat now makes sense. Well not really but it’s a conclusion at least. Vampires. These people are actual vampires.

Upon realising this, Tim squirms in the restraining hold he’s trapped in. They hold him firm and laugh at his pitiful attempts.

“Oh, the sweetheart’s just caught on.” The woman smirks, stroking his neck with her finger. “Well it’s now time to get on with the fun.”

Tim feels her lean in, he feels the way her breath fans over his skin and how her teeth brush against his skin. He lets out a helpless sound just as she’s about to bite down when suddenly an arrow embeds itself right next to his head.

The woman instantly pulls her head away from him and Tim marginally relaxes. The restraining hold is still there but now all the vampires’ attention is elsewhere. He blinks and looks in the same direction the others were, trying to make out what they were seeing.

One of the women snarls. “Shadowhunter.”

Down the end of the alleyway were two more people. One of which is stood with a bow in his hands with an arrow ready to be fired. The other is stood next to him simply with his arms crossed.

“Let the mundane go. Now. If you go any further it’ll be a breech to the accords.” The man’s tone is strong and authoritative. Of course Tim has no idea what he’s on about but his words seem to have an effect on the vampires because they loosen the grip on him.

Tim’s mind drift and he misses the next exchange of words between the two groups of people. His head’s killing him, the back of his skull throbbing painfully and his thoughts were scattered. He doesn’t know how much more of this he can take.

What about Kon? Where’s Kon? Is he still alive?

He's broken out of his thoughts when the hands restraining him let him go. With no one keeping him up and how weak his body has suddenly gotten Tim collapses to the ground, letting out a grunt when he hits the hard floor.

Kon. He needs to get to his best friend. Tim clumsily gets to his knees and starts crawling towards the limp body still lying on the ground. By the looks of it the vampires hadn’t gone for him, only for Tim.

He’s almost there when a different set of hands grab him, gently stopping his progress of getting to Kon. Tim weakly tries to shove them off him but he’s out matched as the hands simply hook underneath his shoulders and move him back.

“Hey, hey, easy. You’re going to be okay.” A voice speak out to him softly.

Through Tim’s feeble mind, he can tell it’s supposed to be soft and comforting, nothing like the others had been. Nonetheless, this guy is stopping him from getting to Kon. He tries to push away from him again but for a second time he's forced to stay against the wall.

Somehow Tim is able to focus on the man in front of him. He’s crouched down to Tim’s level, keeping a hand on his shoulder while the other holds a bow. He has dark brown hair, hazel eyes, has some sort of tattoo on his neck and looks to be around in his twenties.

“Conner, Kon, he needs… help.. please… help him.” Tim has no idea if the man in front of him can help or not but it’s not like Tim is able to. This man knew what to do with the vampires so there’s a small chance he would know what’s going on with Kon.

The man looks at him studying, before moving his gaze downwards. The hand on Tim’s shoulder disappears and reappears on his chin. It gently guides his head up to expose his neck, the man makes a humming sound and lets go of his head. Tim takes a deep breath to try and control the dizziness that’s still lingering.

The man then turns to look over his own shoulder and Tim follows his gaze. There’s another guy also crouching down by Kon. Tim frowns as he sees blue light come from his hands and as it travels over Kon’s body.

“Magnus? Anything?” The hazel-eyed man asks.

Tim’s frown deepens upon hearing him speak. There was something familiar in the words he said.

“He’s gravely injured and I’m surprised he’s still alive at this point. These demon wounds should have killed him right away.”

“How’s that possible? Can you heal him? Does he have any runes or marks?”

“I do not know, Alexander. I’ll do what I can now, remove the toxin that’s entered his body but I can make him a potion in my loft that’ll help further.”

Tim watches with confusion as more blue light comes from the other man’s hand. He jerks as he sees it sink into Kon, his best friend’s body almost spasming as it does.

Hazel Eyes turn back to him, having felt his body jerk at what’s happening. “It’s okay, he’s healing your friend. Can you tell me what happened, what you saw?”

Tim takes in a deep breath, trying to get all of his thoughts together. He opens his mouth to respond but something inside of him clicks, he’s suddenly putting more jigsaw pieces together.

Magnus. “His name is Magnus Bane.”

“Magnus?” Tim whispers unsurely. “Magnus Bane?” He stares at the man in front of him with some newfound hope. Surely after everything he’s just been through, could this really be a breakthrough? Some pure coincidence?

Hazel Eyes raises an eyebrow, seeming somewhat surprised. “Yes? He’s currently healing your friend.”

Inside his chest, Tim feels his heart soar. Thank god! Some luck at last! He takes another breath and starts scrambling to get to his utility belt. He stares at the man in front of him, “we were sent – we needed to find Magnus – we need his help.” Tim brokenly explains still trying to get into his belt.

“Why do you need Magnus? Where were you sent from?” The man questions him, frowning with concern.

Tim ignores him in favour of getting into his belt. His fingers fumble with the pockets clasp but eventually he’s able to get it open. After a small struggle he brings out the letter and holds it up.

“We were sent by Zatanna. This explains it all.” Tim pauses as the whole world tilts and he groans. His dizziness is getting worse and he could feel unconsciousness finally sneaking up on him. He hopes these guys are safe to pass out on. “Please give it to him. We need him… his help.”

The last thing Tim sees is the glowing blue light streaming out of the other man’s, Magnus, hands. Tim’s final coherent thoughts were hopes that Kon will survive whatever this is.

#Everything's Out Of Control #timkon #malec #DC comics #shadow hunters #crossover #Tim Drake #Kon-El #alec lightwood #magnus bane #fanfiction #demons #vampires

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casualmaraudering · 5 years ago

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a little text fic, prompt provided by @starstruck4moony <3

Remus Lupin

Sunday, 10:15AM

Sirius Black: hey, a friend told me you have a dog to give away?

11:10AM

Remus Lupin: yeah! lily has mentioned she said something to a few people. i’m guessing you’re interested in taking him?

You can now message and call each other.

11:11AM

Sirius Black: YES!!! i love dogs sm

Sirius Black: what’s his name?? do you have pictures??

Sirius Black: i mean i love him already but i require pictures

Remus Lupin sent a photo.

Remus Lupin: oh i call him Archie! though he’s small enough that you can change it if you want to

Sirius Black: ARCHIE????? THATS SO CUTE HOLY FUCK

Sirius Black: im in love

marauder squad

11:13AM

pads: RED

pads: why didnt you tell me the puppy guy is hot?????

prongs: oh boy here we go again

pads: he’s so fucking gorgeous?????

pads: he has CURLS

pads: and FRECKLES!!!!

wormy: is sirius being gay again

pads: why didnt you ever mention you have a cute friend

redhind: cause i knew you’d do this

pads: STILL

pads: im hopelessly homosexual lily he might be the love of my life

redhind: see there’s the thing

pads: he’s straight isn’t he

redhind: i don’t know

redhind: i can try my best to find out for you

pads: i love you lily

prongs: oi

pads: you dont have any cute boy friends prongs, go away

prongs: >:(

Remus Lupin

11.20AM

Remus Lupin: so when do you wanna get him?

Sirius Black: does next week work?? im not at home til next Friday

Remus Lupin: ah yeah sure!

Remus Lupin: holiday?

Sirius Black: wedding

Sirius Black: my uncle and his partner are getting married and i wouldn’t dare miss it

Sirius Black: and as a gay man he has a flare for blowing things out of proportion so instead of a regular wedding it’s a full week long getaway

Remus Lupin: god i wish

Remus Lupin: stuck in London studying for finals :/

Sirius Black: #cantrelate i’m an art student we don’t get those lol

Remus Lupin: rude

Sirius Black: what do you major?

Remus Lupin: English lit

Sirius Black: so you’re a nerd huh

Remus Lupin: i just like books

Sirius Black: nephew duties call, gotta go

Sirius Black: goodbye nerd boy

Remus Lupin

5:45PM

Sirius Black: how is my darling doing

Remus Lupin: he’s napping rn, we just came back from a walk

Sirius Black: that’s not what i asked

Remus Lupin: ??

Remus Lupin: oh

Sirius Black: ;)

Remus Lupin: do you always call strangers your darlings?

Sirius Black: only when they’re as gorgeous as you

Remus Lupin: now you’re just lying

Sirius Black:??? no i’m not

Sirius Black: as the homosexual of the group my opinion is the most trusted when it comes to cute boys

Sirius Black: and you my dear are cute as all fuck

Remus Lupin: that’s nice of you to say

Sirius Black: and it’s true. you’re both cute and hot and apparently smart too since eng lit, so don’t put yourself down

Sirius Black: and i mean since this is all out here already i’m not just saying it to be polite, i really am attracted to you and it’s been nice talking to you so far and i know it’s a long shot cause i don’t even know if you like guys but i wouldn’t mind getting coffee together someday if you want

Lily Evans

6:30PM

raging homosexual: FUCK

raging homosexual: LILY I FUCKED UP BAD

raging feminist: ???

raging homosexual: I ASKED THE PUPPY GUY OUT AND ITS BEEN LIKE HALF HOUR AND HE JUST LEFT ME ON READ

raging feminist: oh god sirius

raging homosexual: HES CUTE AND LIKES DOGS I PANICKED

Remus Lupin

7:50PM

Sirius Black: hey, i’m sorry about that, i didn’t mean to freak you out or anything, people do say i’m too impulsive at times haha

Sirius Black: can we please just forget that happened? i swear i won’t hit on you since it makes you uncomfortable

Sirius Black: i’ll get Archie next Friday and then you don’t have to see me again

James Potter

10:20PM

prongs: stop sulking

padfoot: i’m not sulking

prongs: i can see what you’re listening to on spotify y’know?

prongs: you’ve had ‘sad gay time’ on repeat for two hours

prongs: i know that dude is pretty or whatever but he’s not the last cute guy you’ll meet

padfoot: yeah i know

padfoot: idk it just hits me sometimes

padfoot: like it’s not even him it’s just,,,, im feeling like shit in general cause that made me think about my life

padfoot: you have lily and sometimes when i look at you i want something like that too and i’m worried i won’t ever get that

padfoot: im 19 and never even kissed anyone

prongs: and that’s normal, things take time sometimes

prongs: the right guy will come eventually, trust me

prongs: 19 is really young still, there’s literally ages for you to find the right guy for you

prongs: you’re the most amazing guy i know, you’ll find someone

padfoot: thanks james

prongs: come to my room? we can play mario kart

prongs: i have popcorn

padfoot: sure

Remus Lupin

Monday, 8.20AM

Remus Lupin: god i am so so sorry i just left like that i swear i didn’t mean to

Remus Lupin: i have this weird condition, and sometimes it acts up really unexpectedly to the point where i can’t even look at my phone cause i have such a bad migraine and i really meant to reply but it got so bad that i could barely move i am so sorry

Sirius Black: are you okay now??

Remus Lupin: yeah, it’s better

Remus Lupin: not amazing but better

Remus Lupin: that’s why i’m giving away Archie, too

Remus Lupin: an auntie gave him to me and while i’d love to have a dog, i can’t really care for one that well

Remus Lupin: again, i’m so sorry, it was the worst timing possible

Sirius Black: it’s fine! i’m just glad you’re okay

Remus Lupin: and.. if the offer still stands, i’d really like to get coffee with you sometime

Sirius Black: really??

Remus Lupin: yeah

Remus Lupin: only for Archie’s sake, of course

Remus Lupin: he’s quite attached to me already, so i need to make sure you treat him well

Sirius Black: oh yes, absolutely

Sirius Black: you’ll have to stop by my flat, to see if it’s right for him

Remus Lupin: i hope your bed is soft enough for him, he hates sleeping alone

Sirius Black: you’ll just have to check for yourself

You changed Remus Lupin’s nickname to: cute puppy dad

Remus Lupin changed your nickname to: my puppy daddy

#i dont like it that much but also i dont hate it lol #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #the marauders #my tag #its not the worst thing i ever wrote i guess #and it is rather short #might write a longer version someday #im much better at existential sad drama than casual things sjdfsd

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albapuella · 4 years ago

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How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter Two)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday. Didn’t bother with the formatting this time: You want the fancy formatting, go to AO3 :D

Day 1:

Despite his slacker appearance (and life-style, to be honest), Dave was always punctual. He'd even made an effort to look the part of a guy going on a date with another guy: jeans with only a few holes at the knees, his favorite record shirt, and a red hoodie—all freshly cleaned. So freshly cleaned that the sweater was still very slightly damp. Well, whatever, it'd be fine. They were having dinner first, and that meant he'd have plenty of time for the thing to dry out before they went to the movies where the main thrust of Dave's doki-doki plan would commence.

Karkat arrived a few minutes later. He wasn't dressed to the nines, but it was at least to the sevens. It occurred to Dave, as he watched him approach, that he hadn't known how tall Karkat was. The answer was slightly shorter than Dave but with a more solid build. Stocky. Or maybe that was just the black sweater he was wearing. Then again, his legs looked pretty solid in the black pants he was wearing, too. Either way, he looked good.

Dave gave him an appreciative whistle which made Karkat's eyes narrow. Not the reaction he'd wanted. “Looking good, Karkat,” he said quickly, hoping to smooth over any feathers he might have inadvertently ruffled. “I'm digging the whole sexy college professor thing you've got going.”

“Uh, thanks,” Karkat said with evident disbelief. “You, uh, you look good, too.” He straightened up. “You said we were doing dinner first.”

“Yep.” Dave held out his arm. “I’m taking you to my favorite place. A lot of people think it’s wack, but I’m buying, so if you really don’t like it, at least it didn’t cost you anything.” When his date didn't immediately take his offered arm, he shook it invitingly. “It's not too far from here.”

Karkat looked from Dave's arm to Dave, suspicious. Then he sighed and laid his hand on Dave's arm, his hold tighter than Dave had expected it to be considering his earlier hesitation. “Okay. Fine. Sounds great. Let's go.”

---

The first thing Karkat noticed when he took Dave's arm was that his sleeve was damp. Then he noticed the feeling of the arm beneath his fingers. Despite looking thin enough to break, there was some muscle here. As they walked to what was apparently Dave’s favorite restaurant, Dave just kept talking. If Karkat had been offered a thousand dollars, he doubted he could have remembered any specific details of the inanity he'd been subjected to. A nervous talker. He'd have to put that down in his notes.

Dinner went much the same. Dave talked at him while Karkat sat there trying to eat his food (overpriced, faux Italian—of all the places Dave could have chosen, he'd picked a fucking Olive Garden? That was going in his notes, too.). In all honesty, Karkat tried not to pay too much attention to what was being said. First, he'd already determined that most of what came out of this man's mouth was completely meaningless nonsense, and second, if he actually listened to any of it, he'd be hard pressed not to respond to the idiocy. While Dave had no evident compunction about swearing, Karkat wanted to get through at least this first date without screaming.

All right, so that was an exaggeration. Some of what Dave said was actually pretty funny. In a hopelessly awkward sort of way. Karkat hated that Dave's clumsy compliments were making him blush. Clearly, the man had brain damage... which also explained the rapping that Dave kept doing (completely unprovoked!). By the time dinner was over, Karkat was only too grateful that their next destination meant that Dave would have to stop talking.

---

Since Dave had picked the restaurant, Karkat had picked the movie. Some romantic comedy chick flick Dave couldn't be bothered to remember the title of. Still, it gave him an opportunity to sit right tight next to Karkat and eat his weight in popped, buttery goodness, so he really couldn't complain.

“What’s the deal with that dude?” Dave whispered. “I thought he was already tight with that other chick. What gives? Is he cheating on her?”

Karkat made a noise like a cat being stepped on but softer. “Dave,” he whispered back, his tone full of the same sing-songy patient impatience that Rose would use when she thought Dave was being particularly dim, “if you were paying attention, you'd already know that that 'dude' is that 'other chick's' cousin. They are probably not romantically involved. I know you're from Texas, but that's not how it works above the Mason Dixon line.” Then he ducked his head and took a long drink from his soda. “Sorry. Just-just watch the movie and be quiet.”

Dave blinked. He'd been starting to think Karkat wasn't going to open up at all. At least, he'd had fuck all to say during dinner. Even if it had been an incest joke at his expense, it still was nice to hear Karkat say something. Something that wasn't just non-committal noises or unenthusiastic agreements. He leaned against Karkat's shoulder to whisper, “It's not true, you know. About Texas. We don't fuck our cousins; I mean, we do, but not first cousins. We're strictly second cousins only. It's a rule. Of course, none of my second cousins are as hot as you, so I'd be willing to make an exception. Just this once.”

This earned him a light elbowing to the gut and a low growl, but Karkat didn't push him off.

By the end of the movie, Dave had gotten five more elbows to the gut, three startled bursts of laughter, two creative insults (quickly joined by muttered apologies), and one “Will you please just let me watch this movie?” Over all, Dave felt like he'd succeeded in charming the hell out of this motherfucker, thank you very much.

They'd walked out into the open air, a nice breeze whisking away the smell of popcorn and sweat from the movie theater. “I had a lot of fun, Karkat. Thanks for coming on this date with me. Do you think we could do this again sometime?”

Karkat blinked at him, a clear look of surprise on his face. “Oh, uh, sure.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, I'd love to go on another date with you.”

Dave's heart leapt. “Awesome. You can hit me up on Pesterchum. Or I can hit you up. How about I hit you up?”

“Fine, that's... that's fine.” Karkat's smile seemed uneven. “I'll be looking forward to it.”

Although Dave was tempted to try for a kiss, he didn't think he ought to press his luck so far on the first date. Karkat had loosened up some while they'd been in the theater, but out here under the streetlight, he looked nervous again. The last thing Dave wanted to do was chase him away. “Okay then. I guess I'll see you later?”

A slow nod. “Yeah, later.” Karkat was stilted and contained again. Restricted, like a hermit crab stuck in a shell that was too tight. It wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all. Dave had caught a few glimpses of the real Karkat tonight, and the sight made him hungry to see more.

Dave watched him walk away, admiring the view with a new goal in mind: he was going to get Karkat Vantas out of his shell if it was the last thing he did. Getting to rub him in Rose’s face at her wedding was only going to be a bonus.

---

* Never shuts up. Not even during movies. Especially during movies. Attention span of a gnat. From Texas. Doesn't know how to use a dryer. Finds me attractive. Probable brain damage. Funny. Charming. Obnoxious. Never takes off sunglasses. Olive Garden.

Karkat sighed and set down his pen. He'd tried his best to be as cordial as he knew how to be, and he still hadn't managed to last for the entire four hours without insulting his date. Multiple times. Oh well. At least Dave was apparently brain damaged enough to find rudeness terribly amusing (if the way he'd kept bugging Karkat during the movie had been any indication).

He'd been surprised when Dave had actually asked if they could go on another date. Karkat knew he hadn't made the best impression, and yet Dave wanted to spend more time with him? He looked over his notes, trying to ignore the surge of happiness that filled him at the thought. It didn't mean anything: Dave was clearly an idiot, and after a few more days, Karkat was going to start on the offensive. Whatever meager promise there would have been in this fledgling romance, it was still doomed from the start: like all of Karkat's relationships.

Day 2:

It was all Dave could do to wait until the next day to pester Karkat. He didn't want to come off as too eager, after all. Didn't want to put Karkat off. But Dave was only so strong.

TG: so i was thinking TG: if youre not busy TG: we could go to the park this afternoon TG: watch the grifters and maybe get robbed TG: or you could come to my place and hang TG: is it too soon to do that? TG: asking for a friend TG: this is dave by the way TG: i dont know how many people youre talking to TG: not that its any of my business TG: i wouldnt want you up in my grill asking me who im talking to CG: IT IS SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON SUNDAY. TG: yea and youre up anyway CG: BECAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP. WITH YOUR TEXTS. THAT YOU SENT JUST NOW. TG: oh shit sorry CG: IT'S FINE. I NEEDED TO GET UP ANYWAY. CG: YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME? WHY?

Dave frowned down at his phone. Was Karkat fishing for compliments or was he being serious?

TG: because its fun to hang out with you TG: thats how this works right? TG: i thought we could watch another movie TG: at my place TG: or your place i guess if that works better for you TG: ive got popcorn if that sweetens the deal at all CG: YES. BECAUSE THE WAY TO MY HEART IS MICROWAVED POPCORN. TG: fucking called it CG: … CG: FINE. I'LL MEET YOU AT THE PARK AT 2:30PM. IS THAT ACCEPTABLE? TG: perfect ill meet you by the giant yo CG: YOU MEAN THE OY/YO. TG: tomatoes tomotoes karkat

Dave watched the little “CG is typing” message run for almost a minute, feeling his nervousness grow. What had he said that required a novel length response? He managed to reign in the impulse to apologize preemptively, but it was a struggle.

CG: OKAY. WHATEVER. I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Fine, good then. Nothing was wrong.

TG: im looking forward to it TG: its not hard to intuit TG: when we come out to debut TG: sit by the yo then well go round TG: downtown get the lowdown TG: before we get busy in the hissie TG: partake of the fizzie cause we got a duty TG: to watch the fuck out of this movie CG: RIGHT. SEE YOU THEN. BYE.

Dave shrugged. He couldn't expect Karkat to really appreciate his off the cuff rhymes so soon after waking up, he supposed. Maybe they'd land better later. Flat reception or not, the important thing was he'd gotten Karkat to agree to come to his apartment. He looked around, frowning. Maybe he should clean up a little.

---

Jesus Fucking Christ. Karkat tossed his phone on the bedside table with a groan. It had been all that he could do not to curse out Dave like there would never be a tomorrow. Considering the fact that he was currently planning to go to the apartment of a practical stranger, that much might just be true for him. He lay in bed a little longer, out of spite mostly—he could never get back to sleep after being woken up—, before getting out from under the covers. First things first: notes.

* Inconsiderate asshole. Horrible rapper. Calls the OY/YO “the YO”. Doesn't know the right way to express “tomatoes, tomahtos”. Wants to spend time with me. Insane. We have that much in common.

Thanks to Dave's wake-up call, Karkat had plenty of time to eat a hearty breakfast and start his article.

“How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure” BY KARKAT VANTAS

Since you have decided to read this article, I will assume that you are looking to learn the art of ruining your relationships without the mess of all that trial and error. Maybe you enjoy breaking hearts. Maybe you are the kind of masochist who enjoys getting their heart broken but is at a loss as to how to properly sabotage your relationship yourself. If you can manage to follow these simple steps, you will be well on your way to the same bitter loneliness that usually only the most unlucky in love get the privilege to experience.

The first step is the victim. For the purposes of this article, I picked one that is particularly obnoxious and brain dead. You may have different qualities you are looking for in a potential short-term partner. Ultimately, the most important thing to consider when you plan to lose a guy (or gal or enby) is that you make certain they are one you do not mind losing. That way you can start the process without any regrets.

The second step is the hook. Laugh at their dumb jokes; accept their stupid compliments; ignore their mangling of the English language (in my case, his horrible rapping); and generally be as agreeable as you can manage. A severe lack of intelligence in your short-term partner can be a boon here, though you will find most people are not immune to flattery. You need to make certain that you have your short-term partner well and truly interested in you before you attempt to lose them. If you try to lose them too soon, you will miss out on the full relationship ruining experience.

A little too informal, maybe, but a fine start. Depending on how well this afternoon went (assuming he wasn't murdered and stuffed in a closet), maybe Karkat would be able to start on step three. He was able to stomp down his nascent guilt with ease. After all, Dave wouldn't have been interested in him after the novelty wore off anyway.

---

The afternoon was a little warmer than the evening had been, but Dave still wore his hoodie. It felt lucky, and it was still clean. More the latter than the former, but the point stood! He sat down on the bench next to the giant yellow YO installation and waited. While it was tempting to shoot a message to Karkat, he decided against it. He’d be seeing him in less than ten minutes, and he didn’t want him to think he was clingy. Which he wasn’t. Totally not. Dave Strider had never clung his whole life. Ask anyone. Except Jade. Don’t ask her.

He noticed his leg was bouncing and put a stop to that noise. He was a cool operator. He had this thing on lock. The date yesterday had gone good, right? Karkat wouldn’t have agreed to see him again if he’d had a terrible time. He pushed back his hood and ran a hand through his hair. Nothing to worry about. He’d have a date for Rose’s wedding and continue sorting out the mystery that was Karkat Vantas.

Dave heard the crunch of gravel and looked over to see Karkat approaching. Another sweater combo, but gray this time. The guy had a style he preferred, clearly. It was fine: he looked great. He stood and closed the distance between them. “Hey, Karkat.”

“Hey,” Karkat returned, frowning. Of course, that seemed to be his default expression. “I brought a movie to watch,” he said gruffly.

Although Dave had been hoping he’d be able to pick the movie this time, he wasn’t too cut up about it. It might be a little early in the relationship to bring out The Room anyway. He wouldn’t know. “Sounds great. My place isn’t too far from here.” He held his arm out. “Shall we?”

Again, Karkat regarded his arm with suspicion. “Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

Karkat opened his mouth before seeming to think better of whatever he’d planned to say. “Never mind.” He took Dave’s arm. “Let’s get going.”

As they walked to his apartment, Dave tried to keep the conversation flowing, but Karkat’s subdued responses quickly killed his enthusiasm. “I feel like I’m talking too much,” he said finally.

Karkat mumbled something which sounded suspiciously like “You think?” before he shook his head. “No, of course not. I’m just a little too tired to, uh, participate, that’s all.”

Dave winced at the reminder of his first faux pas of the day. “No problem, dude. I got us covered. I got words for days.”

“Months even,” Karkat added before ducking his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

Nudging Karkat’s side, Dave laughed. “Nah, man it’s true. I’ve got words for fucking years.”

Karkat smiled slightly. “Decades.”

“Centuries.”

“Eons”

“Until the next motherfucking epoch, I’ve got words, Karkat. So many words. All the words even.”

Karkat snorted, covering his face with his free hand. “Damn it, Dave. Stop making yourself likeable.”

“I think that’s the point of this whole thing,” Dave pointed out reasonably. “Dating, I mean. It’s not like the old days where your dad and my dad decide if you’re worth enough chickens to trade me for, you know. These days I get to decide for myself how many chickens I want to be traded for.” He gave Karkat a mock critical eye. “How about it, Karkat? How many chickens could I get for you?”

“I don’t know,” Karkat said, his mock serious tone almost too close to a serious tone for Dave’s comfort. “Let me look in my pocket.” He made a show of staring down at the pocket containing his free hand before sliding the hand out and flipping Dave the bird. “Is this enough for you?”

Dave laughed. “I’m sorry, Karkat. You must have at least five chickens to ride this ride.” He felt his face flush but pushed onward. “I guess you’ll have to settle for a movie, and maybe some pizza.”

Karkat was grinning, and Dave decided right then and there that he wanted to keep seeing it. “Maybe next time.” As though to intentionally spite him, Karkat frowned again. “Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, man, just a little further.” As they continued their journey to his apartment, Dave felt himself frown. What was Karkat’s deal? He was a lot more fun when he let himself be himself. Dave didn’t like meanness for meanness sake, but he enjoyed a good joke. For some reason, Karkat seemed to think he shouldn’t joke around? Why? His frown deepened. Karkat also apologized a lot. And he was so often deferential even when it was obvious he had OPINIONS he wasn’t sharing. The pieces were adding up to a disturbing picture.

Maybe after he was done hanging out with Karkat today, he should hit up Rose. She’d know what to do.

---

Karkat’s expectations for Dave’s apartment had been fairly low, and he’d been pleasantly surprised. While not as meticulous as his own apartment, there at least weren’t empty food containers on every surface or dirty clothes everywhere. There was an overall shabbiness though: the feeling that the occupant didn’t care overly much about the apartment’s upkeep. The futon in front of the television was ancient and threadbare as were the carpets. The posters hung on the walls were dusty and faded, and there was a sort of mildewy smell. Still, as previously mentioned it was clean (more or less), and there were no obvious signs of a hidden murder dungeon (not that there would be if there were one, naturally).

“Nice place,” he said for politeness’ sake.

Dave beamed like a little boy who’d gotten just what he’d wanted for Christmas. “Thanks. It’s not much, but it keeps the rain off.” He gestured towards the futon. “Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got apple juice. And water from the tap, I guess. I could go pick up some beer if you want to go that route, or--”

Karkat held up his hand, hoping to stem the tide of suggestions. “Water’s fine, thank you.”

“You’ve got it,” Dave said before tilting his head and making twin awkward gestures with both hands involving his pointer fingers. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

It wasn’t until after he’d disappeared into, presumably, the kitchen that Karkat realized he’d been making finger guns. What a dork. Not that Karkat was any more suave, but he liked to think he was at least less childish. He tried to supplant the rush of fondness he felt by recalling just how pissed he’d been with this manchild this morning. It was not one hundred percent successful.

Dave returned with two glasses: water for Karkat, and apple juice for himself. “Take a seat,” he insisted as he set the glasses on the coffee table (sans coasters). “It won’t bite.”

Gingerly, Karkat took a seat on the ancient futon. The padding was so thin, he could feel the bars beneath. It was going to take a while to become unbearable, and he hoped this hang out? date? didn’t last long enough for that to happen. Just as he’d been about to reach for the water, suddenly uncertain whether he actually ought to drink anything Dave gave him, Dave flopped down onto the futon beside him like a sack of gangly flour. “Dave!”

“S’up?” Dave asked, grinning.

“Don’t ‘s’up’ me--,” Karkat managed to stop himself from calling Dave an asshole, but only just. “Just don’t ‘s’up’ me. Speak like a normal person.” He realized he was making a mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “Sorry, I--”

“Dude,” Dave said, his grin dropping away, “Karkat, you don’t have to apologise for every kind of mean thing you say. I’m a big boy: I can take it.”

Karkat supposed he shouldn’t be surprised: he’d never been good at pretending to be a good person. If he could have managed that feat for any length of time, he wouldn’t be in this position. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said as dryly as he could.

“I’m serious.” Dave sat up and turned to face Karkat head on, and Karkat saw his own annoyed expression mirrored in the black lenses. “I haven’t known you very long, and maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but--”

“You’re right,” Karkat interrupted, feeling his tenuous hold on his temper slipping. “You shouldn’t say anything.” After taking a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to say anything he didn’t mean to, he spoke again. “Let’s just watch the movie and eat some microwaved popcorn. Does that sound like something we could do? Or would you like to keep pretending you have some deep insights into my character as though we’ve known each other longer than three days?”

Dave raised his hands, and Karkat realized he’d sounded far more aggressive than the situation warranted. At this rate, he wouldn’t even get a chance to lose this asshole! Nice job, Vantas: stellar work. “No, you’re right. I’ll step off.” Dave said softly. He got off of the futon with far more grace than he’d flopped onto it with. “You just put the movie in, and I’ll, uh, I’ll make the popcorn.”

Karkat watched him go before putting his head in his hands. Well, fuck. As though this whole situation hadn’t been awkward before. He should just leave. Just leave, forget about his stupid article, and stop dragging this stupidly likeable idiot down with him. He should.

He stayed where he was.

---

Dave took maybe longer than he absolutely needed to to prepare the popcorn. As much as he liked to consider himself a smooth operator, he could tell when he’d made a mistake, and he wanted to give the guy in the other room a chance to cool down. What made it made it worse was that Karkat had been right to get mad at him: Dave barely knew him. In his place, Dave would probably be pissed, too.

Even so, Dave didn’t think he was wrong about the conclusions he’d come to. It was obvious that Karkat was, for whatever reason, putting on a show for Dave’s sake. Honestly, it was kind of creepy. If he understood why Karkat felt the need to do that, he’d feel better about it.

But it wasn’t his business. Not yet. Maybe you had to reach a certain level on the boyfriend echeladder before that kind of thing was something you talked about. It would probably help if they were actually boyfriends and not just newly dating, too. There seemed to be at least one obvious solution to that problem.

Dave could be patient. After all, he still had eleven days or so to get Karkat to at least like him enough to be his plus one at Rose’s wedding. It wasn’t all he wanted anymore, but it'd be enough to start with. As Rose had so often told him, start with small goals.

He poured an obscene amount of butter over the popcorn in the bowl and headed out to the living room. Karkat was bent over, fiddling with the DVD player, and when he looked up at Dave, his mouth was curved somewhat upwards. “What movie do you have for us?”

Karkat stood. “Coming to America.” He made his way back to the futon and sat down as though worried he might fall through if he sat down too quickly. “It’s more comedy than romantic, so I thought you might enjoy it more.”

That sounded vaguely familiar. “Okay.” Dave joined him on the futon, taking care not to startle him this time. “Let’s get this party started.”

---

Karkat had hoped bringing a comedy would hold Dave’s attention enough to keep him from talking through the whole thing. He’d been mistaken. Yes, a lot of what Dave said was funny, but it just never fucking stopped. Finally, Karkat couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed the remote and paused the movie. Then he very deliberately set the remote back down. “I want you to listen to me, Dave. Are you listening?”

Dave looked confused, but he nodded. “Yeah, I’m listening. Do you have something you want to tell me? I’m all ears. Lay it on me.”

God, he couldn’t even listen without rambling! “Would it kill you to shut up?” He saw Dave’s eyebrows peek over the tops of his glasses. A part of him told him to reconsider his current course of action, but naturally, Karkat could never abide by a piece of good advice. “Would it literally cause you to drop dead if you couldn’t expel your idiocy out of your mouth like a goddamned septic pipe full of half-formed metaphors and bullshit? Would your head explode? Can we try that experiment and see what happens?” Karkat felt his fingernails biting into his palms and realized he’d clenched his fists. “What do you say, Dave? Wait, I’ve changed my mind: don’t say anything. Let me bask in the gentle ethereal glow of silence for a moment. Can you do that for me, Dave? Can you let me bask? Will the endless flow of words finally cease?”

‘No’ was clearly the answer to that question since Dave was already opening his mouth. Then, to Karkat’s utter shock, he shut it again. His expression wasn’t ever easy to read with those douche shades he insisted on wearing all the time, but now it was completely closed off. Even the eyebrows had lowered back to their original position.

Silence stretched between them.

Karkat felt sick to his stomach. Shit. Shit. He really just couldn’t do it, could he? Couldn’t pretend even for a few hours that he was a normal person. Well, so much for this experiment. Time to write off this little adventure. Was it worth even trying to apologise? Before he could decide, Dave made the decision for him.

He was clapping. “Damn, just got owned,” he said, a wide grin splitting his face. “You owned me, Karkat. You should feel proud. Not everyone gets own this,” he gestured to himself. “I just hope you know what you’re getting into: I’m barely house trained.”

For an embarrassingly high number of seconds, all Karkat could do was blink. “You’re not mad?”

“Fuck no,” Dave said, still grinning. “I’m a big kid now. I’ve graduated from diapers all the way to pull ups. It takes more than a finely crafted, well-deserved take down to take me down.” The grin softened. “This is what I was trying to say before: I want to date you, not some weird super agreeable version of you. If you want to tell me off for talking too much, fucking go for it. You’ve got a way with insults--it’s a gift. Frankly, I’m insulted you’ve been keeping it to yourself.”

“There’s more where that comes from, asshole,” Karkat said before he could stop himself. To his amazement, Dave still seemed more amused than anything. A strange mixture of anger and fondness welled up inside him. “Stop grinning at me, and watch the fucking movie.” He picked up the remote and hesitated. “You don’t have to be silent,” he said, still feeling a little guilty over his earlier outburst, “just maybe less talking?”

Dave made a big show of running a zipper over his lips. Then he immediately ruined it by saying, “Scouts honor, Karkat. My word is bond. You can cash that shit at the bank.”

Karkat tried to picture Dave as a boy scout and failed. “Right.” He pressed play and the movie resumed. Of course, Dave still talked during the movie, but the sheer volume of words had slowed to a moderate stream rather than the full-bore blasting Karkat had been subjected to earlier. As he sat there on the futon, occasionally answering Dave’s stupid comments with barbs of his own, he felt warm in a way that was only nominally connected to the temperature of the arm he was leaning against. He felt… content.

---

Overall, Operation Hang Out had been a big success. It had been rocky in places, but again, overall, Dave felt like he’d hit his major mission objectives. A movie was watched, pizza was consumed, and Karkat finally, finally, did something other than apologise every time a hint of the person he’d met at the cafe had come through. He didn’t necessarily want to keep pissing Karkat off, but that bitch fit he’d thrown had been epic.

Karkat wasn’t the kind of guy Dave had expected to find himself interested in. At least, he’d never thought he’d have a grumpy asshole kink. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed the more quiet parts of Karkat’s visit, too. It had felt nice to sit on the futon with someone leaning against his shoulder. Dave wasn’t a sap, no, not a suave guy like him, but he couldn’t deny he’d like to do it again some time.

He considered texting Rose as he’d planned to earlier before deciding not to. After all, he’d managed the first crisis all on his own, and she might consider it cheating if he got her help. No, for now at least, this bird was flying solo.

---

* Clean apartment. Finger guns. Puts too much butter on popcorn. Also talks during movies outside theater setting. Likes getting insulted. Kink? Wants to date the “real” me. Delusional. Comfortable arm. Had a nice time. Had acceptable time. Clothes in his shower???

#Homestuck #Humanstuck #fan fic #my fic #wip

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