#I HATE COCKROACHES

[bear-boi-5]

MAN FUCK COCKROACHES

I HATE COCKROACHES. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM. LEAVE ME ALONNEEEE I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOUR ASS AT 12AM WHEN IM TRYING TO PUT STUFF AWAY TO GO TO BEDDDDD

[ilovetomtailor]

Aegon II HC's

• he eats helaenas bugs if they make to much noise

H: Aegon I'm missing a cricket

A: oh? [fuck fuck fuck]

H: do you know where it went?

A: no...

H: you ate it(?)

A: yeah... :( it was to loud

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• Loves to play barbies with Jahaera

J: " mandy you cheating wench"

A: [utterly shook about the tea]

J: "Daniel I did mean to"

J: "so you triped and fell into someone else's bed!?"

(insert child smacking dolls together)

A: " oh my god" [more utter shock]

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• One time tried to give Sunfyer wine

A : Sunfyer [insert the noise that dentists make when telling you to open up]

S: [opens his mouth]

A: [splashes whole goblet of wine into Sunfyer's mouth] stay clam

S: [doesn't stay calm]

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• he has A box embroidered bug patterns that helaena made for him

A : is it a spider since I am as cunning as one

H : ... No

A : Then what is it?

H : A cockroach

A: ...

A : its because I have a big cock isn't it(he said it like a cocky bitch)

H : no

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• Got so drunk oh his and helaena's wedding night and tried to eat the comforter in there room

H: (studying a caterpillar and off in her own world)

A: nom (starts munching on the comforter)

H: (looks at Aegon before deciding she doesn't give 2 fucks)

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• has attempted to steal Aemond's sapphire eye more than once

Aemond: what are you doing (sick of his shit)

A: FUCK (dips out and hides in the nursery for the rest of the day)

[antaresr]

How YGO DM characters would react to: a cockroach

YamiMa: he would be creative, throw a knife at it, or make a homemade flamethrower with a lighter and a spray bottle.

TKB and Atem: easy, traditional way, smash it with the shoe and that's it.

Ryou: spray it with insecticide and watch it die.

Marik: he would try to kill it like TKB and Atem until it starts flying, it's not scared (of course) it's just disgusted by it

Yugi: definitely scared, would call someone else to kill it for him

Bonus:

YamiYu and YamiBa: burn the house with the cockroach inside, the cockroach lost the shadow game.

[thelazybooknook]

NOOOOO I JUST OPENED MY HOLIDAY OREOS AND FOUND A FUCKING COCKROACH IN THEM NOW I HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT NOOOOOOOOOO

[asimp4bee]

This is probably tmi but

I was sitting in the bathroom, cause my stomach was hurting

I'm half asleep scrolling thru tiktok then I feel something on my knee

And in my peripheral vision, I see A MF COCKROACH CRAWLING UP MY KNEE

That woke me up so fast I'm crying

[madness-combat-confessions]

I SAW A HUGE FLYING COCKROACH WHILE READING FLUFFY CUTE MADNESS FANFIC

Okay guys I was simping and I got caught lacking by a huge bug, here's my story. ((For context, it's currently hot where I live and my window was barely open, not too wide but open enough to let some air in, this is very LONG so hard with me))

I was laying on bed reading some cute and wholesome Mag Agent Torture x reader fluff on Ao3 IN THE DARK with a lava lamp, while reading I faintly saw A SHADOW flying across my room, landing on the wall where my bed was close to. When I saw the shadow, I thought it was some kind of animal that bypassed the screen protector that was and went through my window. 

I wondered what kind of creature got in my room so I turn the light the on to see the creature better and to my horror, I saw a HUGE FLYING COCKROACH, IT WAS THE SIZE OF A BEETLE!! I WAS NOT ABOUT TO EVEN TOUCH THAT THING!!! MY MAG TORTURE SIMP SESSION WAS RUINED. The mere sight of it alone and the fact that it could fly immediately made me go: “Oh hell noo!!” So the first thing I did was rush out my room, close the door, and immediately went to my mom room.

As soon as I got to mom's room I immediately told her what's going on: “Mama there's a huge cockroach in my room and it's flying!!!” I WAS LITERALLY HOLDING BACK TEARS WHILE TELLING HER THIS. My cool and awesome and amazing mom let me stay in her room assured me that she will take care of it and went off to get a chancla! ((She hasn't seen a flying beetle sized roach in years))

After a while I heard a loud slam, and then mama came back, told me that the beetle-sized behemoth of a roach was dead and that it was safe to come back to my room now, AND I GAVE HER THE BIGGEST HUG EVER! Then I came back to my room :3

TLDR: I read wholesome Mag Agent Torture x reader fluff on Ao3 and a FAT FLYING COCKROACH came in and I got scared so I got my mama to kill it :3

Holy fuck if that happened to me I think I would had panicked , have a heart attack, and then pass on the afterlife. You're brave for surviving this encounter soldier💪🫂🫂

[gniteruirui]

There’s a ugly 🪳 on my bathroom…. It’s been three day by now. I’ve been sleeping with my other roomie because of that.

[coffeehater19]

a fucking big ass cockroach is inside my house and my fucking cats are insane about it

i think that my cat just ate it...

[xoangel333]

my friend's locker had a cockroach and i screamed and had a very visceral reaction while my other friend calmly get a book, scooped the ROACH onto it and threw it out.

guess who's the mentally insane one?

[sisyphusrequiem]

I WAS ON MY BED AND J FELT SOMETHING CRAWL ON MY LEG SO I PICKED IT UP WITH TWO FINGERS AND THRW IT AWAY (I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS WAS MY IMMEDIATE RESPONSE??) AND I SAW A FUCKING COCKROACH CRAWL AWAY AND I STARTED SCREAMING

I JUST PICKED UP A FUCKING COCKROACH KILL ME NOW MY SENSORY ISSUES ARE KILLUNG ME

[byyliss]

Hurt my ankle bc of a cockroach. Was watching nezha reborn (good movie btw) with my boyfriend, a flying roach got inside and i panicked and tried to run away, then in a panic i twisted my ankle and crawled towards the bathroom and locked myself in while my bf killed it. Idk if it was the pain or the stress, but I almost threw up.

Currently with a bag of ice on it. Its pretty swollen and bruised. If i cant walk tomorrow i will go to the doctor.

[baconcolacan]

How has your day been so far?

Well! Colored my hair pink and blue so that’s neat! But as soon as I got home, the caffeine I put in my body to wake up today gave out on me. So the exhaustion and effects of the neglect I inflicted on myself for the month caught up with me, and I passed out lol.

Then I woke up, fluffed up my hair in the mirror bc yay, and then spotted a giant roach, oh no, so now I’m hiding in another part of my house while I wait for it to die from the bug spray I drowned my bedroom in lol

[amegeddon]

To whoever's idea it was to make massive cockroaches a thing that can get into your house: I will find you. And I will sell your pancreas, gall bladder and kidneys on ebay for $3.

[underleveledjosh]

An Insect-Based Confession

I used to torture insects when I was younger because I believed they didn't feel pain and that they deserved it because they looked creepy. Only ones I didn't touch were spiders and cockroaches because I am scared of them and also moths because I think they're neat so I decided to let moths live peacefully. I also hate ladybugs and butterflies even though most other people I know like them and think they are cute for some reason although I don't understand why. So, basically, ladybugs and butterflies were common targets of mine. I also enjoyed ruining the entrances to ant colonies in my backyard and at my neighborhood's park.

[vestathenervous]

Just imagine how many events had to line up just for you to see a COCKROACH in the kitchen

[psychedelic-meats]

A GODDAMN COCKROACH IN MY BATHROOM WHILE I WAS TAKING A BATH I HATE INSECTS WHY DO THEY WAIT WHEN YOU ARE MOST VULNERABLE TO ATTACK AAAAAAAAAAAH