#Those are the best oreos too damnit

[thelazybooknook]

NOOOOO I JUST OPENED MY HOLIDAY OREOS AND FOUND A FUCKING COCKROACH IN THEM NOW I HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT NOOOOOOOOOO

[spidercakes]

Here, have a high school ABO AU featuring Tony trying his best while Peter plays coy.

*

Tony knows he’s staring but he can’t help it, Peter Parker is pretty okay and he has poor self restraint. Its why he decided to disrupt shop class by squirting whipped cream into his mouth out of one of those ridiculous cans every time Hammer went to speak. Fucking priceless.

“If you stare at him harder, maybe he’ll agree to date you and sex will fall out,” Pepper says, earning a sharp laugh out of Rhodey. He gives her a high five and Tony gives them both a dirty look.

“I hope you both get an STI,” he mumbles.

Pepper snorts, “neither of us are as slutty as you so I think we’re safe,” she says, pushing a copy of Hamlet at him and he wrinkles his nose. Like he wants to read more fucking Shakespeare. That asshole one hundred percent faked his talent and none of his shit makes sense, Tony refuses to believe there’s teaching value in it so he goes back to looking at Peter.

Today he’s wearing a short white pleated skirt, thigh highs, and an oversized baby pink sweater with a fuzzy scarf wrapped around his neck just looking delectable. Tony’d like to unwrap that scarf like a fucking present, exposing the soft, pliable skin underneath and-

“Jesus Tony, you’re literally licking your lips. What is he, a fucking pork chop?” Pepper asks. “This is why omegas think alphas are useless and a burden on society,” she mumbles.

“Amen,” Rhodey adds, shrugging when Tony gives him a dirty look. “Sorry man, you know I love you but all alphas do is start pissing contests that turn into wars and expect us all to be happy about it,” he points out.

“And yet its you that wants to join the military,” Tony says.

“Unlike some rich assholes not all of us have immediate access to education money, thank you. Also Air Force, planes are cool as hell so do not insult me,” Rhodey says, flicking his fingers at Tony.

“You remind me that betas aren’t as reasonable as I like to think they are,” Pepper tells him and Rhodey makes an offended noise. “Don’t look at me like that, you’re just as dumb and reckless as Tony, you’re just better at sounding reasonable about it.”

A book slams shut to his left so Tony looks over, noting that Peter is sticking stuff in his bag and right, okay. He can do this, he can ask him out its not like he hasn’t done this a million times before. Well, not a million times but still he’s never had a problem with it until now and- Pepper smacking him gets his attention.

“Do you want him to think you’re a stalker? Because that’s how you get him to think you’re a stalker,” she says.

“Uh huh,” he says, getting up and taking off after Peter. He can do this, its not that hard and its not like he gets turned down often. Or ever.

He catches up with Peter in the hallway in front of his locker looking just as delicious as he had before, except now he’s unwrapping that scarf from his neck and his head is just tilted to the side and oh. He must notice Tony staring because he turns and gives Tony a bored look. “Do you need something?” he asks, tone also bored.

Oh dear god. Tony makes a small noise of some kind, holy hell he’s awful at this, and then tells himself to suck it the fuck up. “Um, yeah. I’m having a Christmas party in like, a week or so. Wanna go?” he asks.

Peter looks up up and down and what does that mean? “I’m Jewish,” he says, shutting his locker and walking away and no fucking way.

“Is he actually Jewish?” he asks the girl standing next to Peter’s locker. Michelle maybe? MJ? He can’t remember, but she hangs out with Peter so he figured she’d know.

She gives him a judgmental look. “You didn’t know he was Jewish?” she asks and Tony lets out an annoyed breath.

“Shit.”

*

Peter can feel the way Tony is looking at him and at this point he’s perfected playing it cool. Its not like he’s never seen this before, Tony deciding someone is the object of his affections only to lost interest whenever they showed an interest back. Peter doesn’t have any interest in being some kind of tryst so he figures maybe all those ‘play hard to get’ things might have a point. So far he’s managed to keep Tony’s interest anyway, so maybe that’s not total junk psychology anyway.

He keeps an eye on Tony in a much more subtle way than Tony does with him, only diverting his attention when Ned walks into the library. He grins, hoping that Ned’s bearing good news about Legos. “Guess who managed to wrestle the last Death Star Lego set away from a white mom crying about her kid wanting one for Christmas?” he says, looking pleased with himself.

Peter snorts, “oh my god, did she yell about you ruining Christmas?” he asks.

“Obviously but if you think for one second I feel pity for Karen’s little unvaccinated mucus machine you’ve got another thing coming,” he says, resulting in them both laughing.

“Awesome,” Peter says. “Now all we need is to get MJ to agree to come and then we can eat like, so many Oreos.”

Ned nods, probably strategizing in his head when he notices something. “Oh my god Tony Stark is walking over here,” he hisses at Peter, looking over his shoulder and damnit Ned, play it cool!

He doesn’t say that though, he just takes a calming breath and turns to give Tony a bored, maybe even a little disinterested, look. Tony only pauses for a half a second and Peter sure shit hopes this works because he’s wanted to climb Tony like a tree for like three years but he’s not about to be some hookup either. “Um, hey. So I’m having a party this weekend, not at all Christmas related and uh. Wanna go?” he asks.

Peter pretends to consider it even though he already has an answer. “I have a date with Ned,” he says, phrasing it that way on purpose.

Tony looks a little confused. “You’re dating Ned?” he asks.

“No, platonic date but he battled a white mom for Lego Death Star and I’m sure he nearly contracted measles so I’m not bailing on him,” he says.

Tony lets out a soft snort, covering his mouth as he starts laughing harder. “Congratulations on winning your battle,” Tony tells him, amused.

Ned nods, “I ruined Christmas for her kid, so I feel real accomplished. We’ll probably have time to swing by after the Death Star thing though,” he says and Peter swears to god. He turns and gives Ned a look, making sure Tony can’t see his face while he does it and Ned looks confused.

“Awesome, see you guys then,” Tony says, grinning ear to ear like he’s just won something and he hasn’t won shit, damnit!

“Dude, what the hell was that? You’ve had a crush on Tony for like, seventeen years,” Ned says, “so what’s with the look?”

Peter sighs, “I’ve been carefully cultivating a cool aloof nature and you came in here and ruined it by accepting his invitation! Now he thinks he’s won,” he says, slumping in his seat.

Ned frowns, “have you been reading bad nineties dating advice columns?” he asks.

“No, Ned. I’ve just noticed that any time Tony decides he’s interested in someone he’s not interested as soon as they’re interested and I’m trying to make myself interesting enough to keep around here,” he says. “And then you off and made me available.”

“Fine, next time I play wingman I’ll tell him about that time you got violent diarrhea at that Nandos when we went to Britain last year,” Ned tells him.

Peter lets out a panicked squeak. “Oh my god Ned, no!”

*

Peter didn’t want to go to this damn party but MJ wanted to go just to see what Tony Stark’s house looked like and honestly calling it a house is like calling a whole ass parking lot a single parking space. It takes him, MJ, and Ned all of five seconds to lose each other and another ten seconds for him to be completely lost. God damn MJ, they should have just eaten way too many Oreos and gone to sleep and then Peter would be back to having Tony think he’s unavailable and it all would have worked out in the end but no, couldn’t do that.

A hand curls around his arm and for a moment he’s relieved because he’s sure Ned found him but when he looks over its Tony. Well shit, he’s unprepared for this what the hell does he do? “You came,” Tony says, smiling wide and aw man its hard to seep his cool with Tony so close and like... actually touching him and stuff. God, he’s desperate.

“Yeah, MJ wanted to steal all your toilet paper,” he blurts out like a fucking moron.

Thankfully Tony has a weird sense of humor because he starts laughing. “That all you came here for?” he asks and Peter hadn’t paid attention to how close they were either. Okay Parker, play it cool.

He turns so he’s facing Tony and steps in a little closer, allowing Tony to move his hand from Peter’s arm to his waist as he reaches up and pulls Tony a little closer to him by the lapel of his shirt. “Depends,” he says, looking Tony over. “If you’re worth my time or not.”

Tony looks delighted as he settles his other hand on Peter’s waist. “I haven’t had any complaints,” he says.

Yeah, Peter’s heard the stories and then probably a lot of rumors. He circles an arm around Tony’s neck, “well, I’m not fond of being left cold in the morning and I’ve got a good consensus on where you stand on that so,” he says, pulling away just as fast as he came close but Tony pulls him back.

“Mm, something tells me you’ll be worth keeping around,” Tony murmurs.

“Mm, and something tells me I might want to hold out on you a little, make you beg a little,” Peter tells him, not at all anticipating the way Tony’s features cloud over with arousal and okay, he can work with that. He grins, pulling out of Tony’s grasp almost completely, “why don’t you come back when you’re prepared to grovel a little, hmm?” he says, moving to walk away but Tony pulls him back, wrapping his arms around his waist again.

“Oh, I’m plenty ready to grovel now,” Tony tells him enthusiastically. Peter happens to look over and finds Ned and MJ at the end of the hallway looking way too enthused for their own good. He turns back to Tony and smiles, “well, go on then,” he tells him, pushing him back into the room he’d come out of when he’d found Peter here to begin with.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: Puppy On Board (3/?) - Ao3 link

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart (currently gen)

Summary: In which life is Big, and Tough, and Extremely Frustrating - but mostly because Len is currently a goddamn puppy.

————————————————————————————–

On one hand (paw?), Len is pathetically grateful to be back with Mick once more. Just seeing his partner again, when he'd just about lost all hope, is everything he could've wanted and more.

On the other, though, does Mick really need to sleep for so long?

Clearly not.

It's unhealthy, that's what it is.

Len's doing Mick a favor when he sticks his nose into Mick's ear and slobbers on him till he wakes up.

Really.

No matter what Mick might be saying – or, more accurately, cursing.

"You want more to eat, huh?" Mick finally asks, rubbing his face.

Len totally woke Mick up out of concern for his health - but if more food is on the offer, well, you know, he’s not going to refuse...

He's a growing puppy, damnit.

"Food every two hours is apparently normal at your age," Mick said sleepily, heading to the kitchenette corner in his room. "So, I guess it ain't your fault."

Hmph. As if Len would be motivated by something so base as biology.

(Oh, but that milk is good. Hits the spot just right. God, he was so hungry.)

A satisfactory feeding later, Mick puts Len down on the ground and opens the door. "C'mon," he grunts, tossing on a robe - clearly a Legends-imposed requirement, because Mick still sleeps proudly nude as always. "I'd better get you out of here before you decide to piss."

Actually, on that subject, Len's pretty sure he saw - ah, good, there it is.

Mick's still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, which is probably why it takes him a second to catch up to what Len is doing, and on what.

"Wait, no, puppy, that's Sara's - welp, nevermind, that's a lost cause right there." Mick sighs. "I'll tell Sara she needs to get a new pack before the next mission. And maybe clean this one. She'd better not try to make me clean it, when she shouldn’t have left it hanging around where a puppy in search of revenge could get to it..."

Len gives his best "I'm an innocent puppy, really" grin.

Mick gives him a beady-eyed glare. "Don't think I'm not onto you."

Len's smile fades for a moment, then comes back at twice the strength. Mick's figured it out? Already? Thank God! Maybe they can skip ahead to figuring out a good way for Len to communicate, or maybe even to turning him back into a human so that -

"You're trouble, that's what you are," Mick announces.

...oh.

Len whines and slumps down, a process that involves just giving up on this whole standing business and splaying out on all fours like the weight of the world has come crashing down on his puppy shoulders.

"Hey, I didn't mean that," Mick said, crouching down. "It's okay, you're a good boy deep down - yes, that's right, a good boy -"

Len is not a good boy.

Len isn't even a good puppy.

And he likes it that way, damnit! He's a bad, bad man! He’s a supervillain and proud of it, except that right now he's a goddamn puppy.

Near-newborn puppies are not, despite Len’s best efforts, very intimidating.

"C'mon, back to bed."

Fine. But only for a bit, and then Len's waking Mick up again out of sheer spite!

...and possibly hunger.

"Don't know what your mom was thinking letting you wander off this young," Mick comments.

Len nips at one of his fingers, aiming to get him with one of the few milk teeth that have fully grown in so that it will sting.

Don't talk about my mom like that. Not even you, Mick.

Mick chuckles and pets his head and yawns a bit, heading back to his room, his eyes already heavy.

Len huffs, then frowns, picking up a strange scent.

He cranes his neck as far out as he can, just barely able to see around Mick.

It's the new guy - Nate.

He's not doing anything, just standing there, staring blankly down the hallway. He doesn't move or say hi or anything - Mick clearly missed his presence there entirely, and Len would have, too, if his new sense of smell wasn't so strong.

Len yips a tentative greeting, giving a vague wag of the tail, but there's no response and anyway Mick is taking Len away at speed, so there's no time to investigate.

Weird.

Whatever, Nate's sleepwalking issue isn't Len's business.

A few hours later, the Legends all gather in the med bay, which seems to Len like a weird-ass place to meet given the existing presence of a bridge designed specifically for that purpose, but their intention quickly becomes clear.

"Surely the temporal energy doesn't keep you from doing a scan at all, right, Gideon?" Zari asks.

"I can do a surface scan," she says. "And determine health, albeit superficially. For some reason, my DNA scanners can't seem to make head or tails of him."

Head or tails. Heh. Because he has a tail now.

Len finds that said tail wagging in approval entirely without his consent.

He’s going to really enjoy the dog puns.

"Well, what's your verdict, then?" Sara asks.

"He's a very healthy male puppy, with no serious diseases or other issues that I can determine. Comparing his appearance to other images I have, I would estimate an age somewhere a little over two weeks old, though I'm unsure how much older given the temporal issue."

"What breed is he?" Nate asks, giving his fingers for a lick.

Len is tempted - so many interesting smells! - but he pointedly turns his back on Nate to give Zari's fingers some attention. He's pretty sure Nate was on the pro-castration side of things, even if he didn't speak up, and anyway it makes Zari laugh in delight and Nate mutter under his breath about favoritism and it's not even Amaya...!

So, you know, there.

"He appears to be a mix of breeds," Gideon announces.

"So, a mutt," Sara says. "He fits right in already."

"But what breeds?" Nate asks. "That could impact his behavior and needs and - stuff."

"Stuff," Amaya says, amused.

"Hey, I know something about dogs. Not much, I admit, but..."

"I believe there is a significant proportion of husky," Gideon says. "Thereby accounting for the coloration, general form, and blue eyes - though those might be a puppy feature that darken as he gets older."

"Those ears aren't even slightly husky," Amaya objects.

"That's correct - some sort of spaniel, I would estimate, given the size of his ears and - ah - their proportion to his body -"

Len'll grow into them.

"He'll grow into 'em," Mick says.

Len loves Mick. Wise man.

"Hold up," Sara says, eyeing the ears. "How big is he going to get? We don't have enough space for a full-on herding dog here -"

"Huskies are working dogs, not herding dogs, I think," Ray says helpfully from where he's lurking by the door. "And Mick can take him on walks around the ship, or outside once we land."

"If we take him outside, he'll get lost," Zari objects, reaching out to rub Len under the chin.

"He can barely walk or regulate his own temperature right now," Mick grunts. "Doesn't exactly seem like an urgent issue."

"Barely walking or not, he still made his way onto the Waverider," Sara reminds him.

"Should we chip him?" Nate asks.

Len sniffs. Nate's the one who ought to be chipped, what with that sleepwalking habit.

"Not at this age," Amaya says firmly.

"Perhaps a small collar could be fashioned," Gideon suggests. "And the tracking chip placed under the nameplate."

Len sighs noisily. It's not like he hadn't been expecting to be collared eventually, given his shape.

Luckily he didn't have any bad associations with collaring, unless you count a certain period of never-to-be-spoken-of-again bad fashion choices back in the 90s...

The Legends, however, met Gideon's announcement with an almost stunned silence.

"Oh, man," Nate says, breaking it after a moment, "his name. Mick, have you named him yet, or can we help?"

"Well..." Mick said cautiously.

"No, no, please, let us help!"

"I still get veto power," Mick warns.

What about Len? Len should get veto power.

Personally, he's quite fond of "Boss" as an acceptable dog-like name -

"How about Spot?"

For shame, Nate. He doesn't even have spots! Coloration markings, yes, but not spots.

"No, no, Nate, not Spot," Ray says. "He doesn't have spots."

At least Mr. Castration-Is-Good-For-Dogs has some decent opinions.

"He's more black-and-white," Ray continues. "How about Oreo? Or Newsie, short for newspaper?"

Ugh. Positive statement retracted.

"No," Mick says. "Just - no."

"How about Joe?" Amaya suggests. "Or - Carl, maybe? Oh, I know! Rex!"

Len puts his head down and covers his head with his paws, whining pathetically.

"I think even the puppy thinks that's a no go," Sara says, snickering. "Sorry, Amaya."

"It's okay," Amaya says. "He's cute enough; I'll forgive him anything."

Len's traitorous tail gives a wag at that.

"How about something more thematic?" Zari suggests.

"Thematic?" Mick asks, sounding skeptical.

Len's not sure why; he loves things with a theme. If he has to be Heatwave's dog, then he might as well get named something appropriate. Flame or Explosion or Heatpup something -

No.

Hot Dog.

He can just see it now in a newscaster voice: “Here comes Heatwave, famed supervillain, and his trusted sidekick, Hot Dog…!”

Len sniggers, though it mostly comes off as a dry sort of huffing.

...he'd better stop that before they decide to name after Muttley or something.

(He’s far more of a Dick Dasterdly!)

“I’ve got an idea,” Zari says.

"Oh?" Sara asks. “What were you thinking?”

"Well, Mick is going to be the primary owner, right?" Zari says with a shrug. "We could match the dog to the owner."

C'mon, make the Hot Dog joke! Do it! It's right there!

"Something heat related, you mean?" Sara asks. "To match 'Heatwave'?"

"No, that's too obvious," Zari says. "I was thinking more of a contrast - Snowflake, or Snowy -"

"Oooh, Frosty!" Nate exclaims. “Cold Miser!”

"Or you could do the exact opposite of Mick's," Amaya says, "and call him 'Coldwave' -"

"No," Mick says flatly. "Nothing with Cold."

Len had been pretty much in favor of the names, no matter how dumb - he loves a good cold pun - but Mick's voice...

He's in pain.

Len whines, pulling his head out from under his paws and trying to go to Mick at once. It's his fault Mick is in such pain, his fault, he was the one who abandoned his partner like that and therefore only he can make it right. He might not be able to fix it, he's too small to do that, but he'll go and snuggle him and lick him and nip at his fingers till he feels better -

On his hurried way over to Mick, though, Len trips.

Over his own goddamn ear.

"- sensitive subject," Sara is murmuring when Len goes flying, and then she's not murmuring, she's laughing.

Everyone is laughing.

Even Mick, which is Len's sole consolation. Maybe it wasn't exactly how he was thinking of cheering Mick up, but whatever, it worked.

"Maybe we should call him Floppy," Ray says. "After his big old floppy ears -"

Len rights himself and growls at Ray.

"Awww," Sara coos. "Lil puppy don't like that."

"You named your last pet after a musician, right?" Nate asks. "Guns and Roses? What about something else like that?"

"Oh, I know!" Ray exclaims.

Oh, God, no.

"You could name him Tevye! After Fiddler on the Roof! That's your favorite musical, right?"

...okay, that one's not too bad. At least it respects Len's Judaism.

(Does Len have to be circumcised again now that he’s been reborn? He really hopes not. That was one experience he was very happy to not be aware during.)

"Maybe Fiddler would be easier?" Zari suggests. "Or Fiddlesticks? I like Fiddlesticks."

"I already know what I'm gonna call him," Mick says. "I thought of it last night."

They all look at him, even Len.

He's still hoping for 'Boss'.

"That puppy's name is Trouble."

...yeah, that's fair.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I wish to give full credit to everyone's wonderful suggestions in the comments to chapter 2, all of which were great and very fitting, and also extremely helpful for writing this chapter :) hopefully work will go quiet again and I'll be able to write more of this soon!

[spectral-cervid]

hey i saw your tag so only the odd ones

oh my GOD

is this just gonna be a..recurring theme now? ( fine

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?Spotify. Pandora isn’t in canada anymore and soundcloud is horriblewhat color are your eyes?A brownish color with bits of amber-ish near the centerwhat is your relationship status? Dating a jerd (jock-nerd) (cryptid but very real) (he’s the best tbh?)what color hair do you have?Naturally it’s a weird...brownish red? It used to be dark blonde but I dyed it too much, speaking of I’m bleaching it white at some point

where do you shop?store

favorite social media accountLinkedIn...sarcasm aside, probably tungl so long as I avoid the Disk Horse. Facebook keeps trying to reconnect me to the half of my family that I’m estranged and disowned from

any siblings?I have two sisters, I’m the youngest

favorite snapchat filter?the one that makes your mouth rly big because I like scaring my friends at 3 AM with a “whatcha doin?” and a wide-eyed grin

how many times a week do you shower?Whenever my hair’s too greasy + depression allows it tbh

shoe size?I actually have no fucking clue but I think I’m a.... 9 or a 10 in canadian size?

sandals or sneakers?Sneakers because I do too much fucking about to risk a sandal falling off while going about my day

describe your dream dateProbably equal parts thrill and chill? Ziplining followed by cuddling n watching the landscape, sort of thing.

what color socks are you wearing?I am not wearing socks. Or pants, actually.

do you have a job? what do you do?Currently still just an artist taking commissions when I can. I was nearly a delivery courier, but I have too many balance and general nervous system issues to safely drive a motorcycle in the dead of winter in a city of reckless and aggressive drivers.

whats the worst thing you have ever done?Define worst. Morally worst? Embarassingly worst? Stupidly worst? I picked up a deer skull once only to find that a nest of very angry harvester ants was living underneath it. That was bad. Very, very bad.

3 favorite boy namesUhhh can I get back to you on this one? I don’t think I’ve ever thought about this one much tbh

favorite actor?I really admire and respect the talent of the entire Stranger Things cast tbh

who is your celebrity crush?Don’t think I have one? do fictional ones count

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I read a lot when I find a good book or series, but it’s finding something that interests me that takes a while. I don’t think I really have one favourite?

do you have a nickname? what is it?Depending on if I’m using my first or middle name, it’s Lee or Jensi, both of which I don’t mind

top 10 favorite songsIn no particular order:- Lover, Lower Me Down! by Major Parkinson- sl0t by Mili (it’s been stuck in my head...all damn day)- This Is Transcendence by Ritual Howls - Golden Antlers - Glass Animals- Mykonos - Fleet Foxes- Honestly, the entire album “IV. - Wake” by American Murder Song- U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,A,B,Select,Start by Deftones- Arsonist’s Lullabye - Hozier- Earth - Sleeping At Last- For The Best - Gregory And The Hawkwhat is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)....like skin? I’m not sure it’s not really anything

how many kids do you want? If I had kids I’d rather adopt (never mind that I can’t, physically, have kids if I wanted) and I’m not sure how many I’d want. I’d much rather adopt older kids and teens, to be honest, if I did. For one, the idea of having to...raise someone from infancy, teach it everything, be responsible for all those crucially formative years...... That terrifies me. That absolutely terrifies me and I do not want someone’s life in my hands like that. But for second, I’d like to be able to give some older kids some stability. Especially at an age where they really need that stability and accepting base.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)Rented Duplex (two-floor house split into two units, I live in the lower unit.)

what was the last compliment you received?“I WANT TO HUG THEM AND TELL THEM EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY” - directed @ me about Vier. I consider that a compliment tbh

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?Already answered, 6ish I do believe

opinion on smoking?Don’t mind people that do, but it burns my lungs too much and sends me into the worst coughing fits without fail. No matter what’s being smoked. I require water if I plan on it.

what is your dream job? Already answered..? “I used to want to work on the trauma floor eventually, but I’m pretty sure my hands are screwed for dropping things so I’m going to settle for something else that I have a different sort of passion for- art and writing. I’d love to be on the creative team for a game developer some day, whether for concept art, writing, storyboarding, what have you. I’ve got a little ways to go but hey- I’ve got time.”

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?The only time I did, it was because they said “GAYLORD” on the labels and I’m a certified 12 year old

do you smile for pictures?Sssometimes?

have you ever peed in the woods? I’ve gone on week-long forest treks, they don’t build loos 10 miles out in bumfuck nowhere I’m afraid

I have fallen ass first over a short cliff trying to take a dump over the ledge.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?Wendy’s has nuggets?

what do you wear to bed?skin, blankets, enough raw power to kill anyone who walks in on sight

what are your hobbies?Also answered! I’m getting back into metalworking mostly because I’d like to make a knife Because I Can, aaand other than that? Beyond art & writing, I do competitive target archery (or did, can’t afford to get out to practice these days), am a semi-professional vocalist and used to do traveling theatre when I lived in British Columbia. I also code things, but I haven’t been in the right brainspace for a while.

do you play an instrument?Several! I can play guitar, bass, harp, piano, violin & sing with reasonable proficiency. I used to play trumpet too but I didn’t like it too much.

tea or coffee?Both

do you want to get married?I have mixed feelings

are you going to change your last name when you get married?It depends, to be honest. I like my name now (picked it myself, I did) and god damnit it’s going to be a pain in the ass to get it changed twice

do you miss anyone right now? A few people. Friends too far away to visit anymore, my sisters, my sleep schedule

do you believe in ghosts?Yyyyup.

last person you called?Got a call about a job offer that sounded sketchier than an unmarked van with “KANDY” painted up the side

regular oreos or golden oreos? What, pray tell, the fuck, are golden oreos

what shirt are you wearing? None. A blanket wrapped around my shoulders?

are you outgoing or shy?I can act outgoing but honestly I’m naturally pretty shy.

do you like your neighbors? The person in the duplex unit on top of us is a cool guy and puts up with way too much.

have you ever been high? Yyyuuup.

last thing you ate?Piece of toast with cinnamon sprinkled on it for taste

summer or winter? I prefer winter aesthetically but my health issues prefer summer so long as I avoid the sun

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk, or semi-dark

what is your zodiac signI’m a cusp between Leo and Virgo.