#I HAD SUCH A. VISCERAL REACTION WATCHING THIS WHOLE MATCH

[likesummerrainn]

IMPACT Bound For Glory | 10.21.23

[whumpofalltime]

whump of all time

SEMIFINALS!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!

Once Upon A Time:

(gifset 1, gifset 2)

"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump

"[...] Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.

Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".

But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?

The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.

Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?

Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist

"god tier acting" ~ @caliburn-the-sword

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[popodoki]

*rings bell* Come get your Catwin NSFW besties x

CONTENT WARNING DIRECTLY UNDER READ MORE

Edwin wants, and is fucked by the hilt of a rapier in this.

Boy has a strength and danger kink, and the Cat King swinging a rapier around with ease is doing things to him, mostly to his dick lbr.

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The whole mess was an embarrassment, one that he had never intended to share with anyone, let alone the Cat King, his lover. There was nothing strange about a young man getting, well, excited during fencing matches, the heat of a brawl. It was a simple bodily reaction. Years spent in an all-boys school tempered much more of such kinds of shame than one might think. 

But Edwin knew better, now. Knew himself better, more specifically, though it was still far too startling to realize that all it took was the threat of violence, a proper show of strength, to leave him gasping with desire.  

He was working to control himself though, trying to at least delay his reaction to a reasonable time, not right in the middle of watching his lover take on imaginary opponents with real ease. Heart pounding, he watches that rapier flash and twirl in his lover’s firm grip, the raw power of the Cat King on display with every flex of those muscles. The glistening stretch of skin on display, toned arms, shoulders, abs. Edwin can’t imagine anyone could have resisted, could resist watching, not when it was Thomas. 

But not everyone would be hard as steel, just from watching. If Edwin had just stayed where he sat, if he hadn't drifted closer, book slipping from his hands in favour of a much more compelling sight, if he hadn’t been watching at just the right time to catch the Cat King pulling off a truly athletic spin, rapier swinging through the air in such a dramatic arc Edwin could almost viscerally imagine the scene, a terrific beast, slain by the brave strong knight. Hells. If Edwin’s hand hadn’t been down the front of his pants by the time Thomas finished his move, turning on his feet so deftly he ended in the perfect position to spot his little voyeur, they both might have been able to ignore the entire debacle. Edwin wouldn't have learned his lesson, but they wouldn't have needed to talk about his little... kink. 

Instead, Thomas now loomed over him, the tip of his rapier digging into Edwin's spread thighs as he babbled away all his deepest secret desires. 

"You really like this," Thomas drawls, dragging the tip of his silver rapier along the soft flesh of Edwin’s inner thigh. 

"Did you think I was lying? Just weaving a tale, to humiliate myself in-" Edwin cut off abruptly, as the sharp point dug in, threatening to break skin. 

"I only thought you were confused. Adrenaline can do many things to a man, not the least that." His lover looks pointedly at Edwin's cock, twitching red, hard enough that it was starting to weep lightly against his stomach. Edwin flushes, heat spreading under the skin of his cheeks, doesn't respond. There was nothing he could really say. 

"Is this what you want? Why you stay silent during practice sometimes..." He didn't finish the sentence, but Edwin knew what he was implying. His lover was always indulgent, and he could understand why Thomas might think Edwin was just looking to get a specific itch scratched. It was a kinder interpretation, than pure hedonism. 

"Not, not just this. Not just the rapier. You. You make me so reckless, I can't even stop to think- moving like you were born to dance, not just fight. I want the danger, but more than anything I want you. " 

"And my rapier." Edwin gasps as the blade rotated against his skin, twisting on its point. 

"The rapier is, um, nice, too. But you could be swinging about a dull kitchen knife, and I'd still..." Edwin gestured helplessly. Finding the words shouldn't be so difficult, but now that he had spilled the shameful part, the words just seemed to dry up in his throat. "It's never been the only thing I want. Danger is just a mindset. And not one I often indulge. Consciously, at least." He finished with a flush. He wouldn't pretend that certain memories weren't shaded a little differently, now that he understood himself better.  

But that had no bearing now. "If- if you want, we can forget all this. There's no need- If you wouldn't enjoy-" 

"No." 

"No?" 

Thomas drops the rapier into the grass, crouching down between Edwin's legs, warm, rough leather scraped hands coming down to press Edwin’s thighs down when they hitch, in response to his smirk. "No. Do you know how many times I've stroked myself, fed only by memories of your pleasure? Thinking of you, with your layers undone, your mouth hanging open, dripping with spit, as you gasped out your pleasure, at my hands, my actions?" 

"Yes, Edwin. Yes." Thomas nods at him, persuading, smooths both his hands down creamy thighs, over the faint red scratches left by the silver rapier. "I can't forget this, even if I wanted to, Ghostie. I know it now. Your desires, your wants." The way he whispers it, makes Edwin feel like a meal, one that Thomas had full intentions of devouring. He licks his lips, clenches his hands, nervously. Thomas looks over his body, assessing, calculating, and Edwin knows he’s not found wanting. 

A warm calloused hand travels down, down. Edwin groans along with the Cat King when a thumb probes behind his balls, presses a stripe down his taint and slips between his ass cheeks. "Edwin. You're already wet? Is this what you did, when I told you I was going outside, going to work out? Did you plan on losing control, filling yourself with your fingers, thinking of my stretches, thinking of fencing practice?" 

"N-no, I just thought, ah-" Edwin wiggles, "If I was... satisfied, I might be able to control myself." 

Thomas smirks so wide at that, it stretches his cheeks. "How wrong you were," he murmurs, pushing his thumb more firmly against Edwin's hole, sliding easily inside with the layer of slick, “to think mere fingers were going to satisfy you. To think that I, your lover, your king, would leave you unsatisfied.” If Edwin had known all it would take was a smidge of embarrassment, he might have revealed his little problem a lot sooner, as it is, his hands clutch and tear handfuls of grass, as his lover summons a little jar of lubricant in his one hand, and reaches for the rapier lying close with the other. Seeing the glinting hilt in his lover’s hand made it all much more real, intense in a way Edwin had never experienced before. His lover has barely touched him, already Edwin feels like he's wavering right on the edge. Unbidden, he lifts his legs, bends his knees and presses them close to his chest, the motion bringing his throbbing cock into slapping contact with his stomach, dribbling more precum with each little jerk as his breathing needlessly picks up. From between his trembling thighs, he watches as Thomas drizzles the lubricant over the rapier’s hilt, until it’s dripping, excess splashing onto the grass.  

Edwin nearly chokes on his groan, clenching down almost in anger at the intrusion of fingers instead of the hard unyielding pressure of the rapier. His lover tuts and coos at him in equal measure. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing this properly, Ghostie. I’m not hurting you, I’m giving you everything you want, need, and more, okay?” Edwin grunts, bears down on the fingers as they move and spread him, slowly opening him just that bit further. His lover waits until his moans turn sharp, and Edwin near sobs in a mix of relief and anticipation when the Cat King’s fingers leave, and are replaced by steel. 

His teeth nearly draw blood, as Thomas presses relentlessly forward, just how he needs. The hilt so much, all at once, that for a moment all Edwin can feel is the harshness of the burn, his legs starting to tense, pull taut. But he knows he can take it, welcomes the hint of pain, as a promise for the pleasure to come. It stretches him like nothing else Edwin has taken before. Thomas handles the rapier just as well as he always does, angling it just right to push past any lingering resistance from Edwin's body, until the wide round length of steel was seated all the way inside him. 

"Good?" 

Edwin squeezes his legs tighter to his chest, clenching his fists in tandem to their trembles, knowing that if he relaxed for even an instant, he could hurt himself even on this side of the rapier. The thought just made his cock throb harder, tip smearing precum across his stomach, sending sparks through his veins. The danger of the weapon now splitting him, made the feeling hit twice as hard. 

"Edwin. Feeling good, doing okay?" 

"Good! I'm good, promise! More, please, I-" Edwin cuts off with a punched-out moan. At his begging, Thomas shoved the hilt the rest of the way inside, in one smooth motion. Edwin's back arches off the ground, his vision whiting out as he took it all. He nearly comes right there. It's so deep inside him, he swears he can taste steel in the back of his throat. 

His lover waits patiently for Edwin to relax again, watching intently, as the blade of the rapier jerks, moved by Edwin’s body clenching rhythmically around the hilt. If he could spare the focus through the onslaught of sensations, Edwin might even feel the cool steel of the guard nestled in between his cheeks, in contrast to the blazing hot handle now deep inside him, warm from Thomas's hand. He sucks in another deep breath, his knuckles almost white, where his grass-stained fingers dig into the dirt. 

By the time Edwin could feasibly speak again, if he tried, if he had anything else to offer aside from pleas, his lover’s already moving, sliding the hilt in and out of him, in powerful thrusts. The ridges of the handle drag against his rim, catching just enough to twinge. Edwin moans and whines, helpless to do anything else, as Thomas's sharp movements, the power in those toned muscles he so admired earlier, make him skid across the ground. 

Every time his lover adjusts his grip, slowing down for just a moment, checking, changing the angle just enough, he still manages to hit that perfect spot deep inside. Edwin sees stars, an entire universe dancing behind his eyelids, behind his closed eyes. At any moment, Thomas could miscalculate, fumble, his slick hands slipping on the handle, wrist cramping from the repetitive movement. Just an instant was all it would take, to injure Edwin, but his lover was perfect. Thomas gave him everything he needed. The threat, the weapon, and the inhuman strength and skill to pull it off. Such a strong, noble knight. A King. Fucking him with a rapier cause Edwin got hard at the sight of his abs. Edwin's laugh catches in his throat as Thomas rolls his wrist, the hilt dragging against his walls. Hells, he was going to combust before he came, from the intensity of it all. 

It's building, rapidly, below his stomach, his cock keeps twitching across his skin, smearing slick everywhere. Edwin reaches down, wipes his hand absently on his rumpled shirt, to try to grip his cock in a semi-clean palm. Thomas veritably hisses at him, slamming the hilt into him, hard enough to knock the breath out of his chest, making his point, without a single word. 

That display is all Edwin needs. He keens, his legs jerking in the air as he comes. The intensity makes his head spin, disorienting and euphoric at the same time, everything crashing down around him. His balls tighten, thick white spurts paint his stomach. Edwin's mouth hangs open, as he pants, his hair stuck to his forehead with the slick of his sweat. 

Vaguely, Edwin registers his lover carefully working the hilt free, amid the last weak clenches of his ass, as he recovers from his violent orgasm. Edwin moans softly, exhausted, as the wide hilt twinges one last time at his rim, sprawling out his legs and limbs as soon as it’s safe to do so. When he feels like he could actually sit up without getting dizzy, Edwin does so, reaches for his lover’s hips, eager to return the favour in whatever way he can. A slick palm catches his, preventing Edwin from touching the tantalizing stretch of bare skin that can still tempt an interested twitch from his soft cock. Edwin whines in the back of his throat. That can't be right. 

"But don't you want-" 

Thomas rolls his eyes, pointedly, the moment Edwin’s pleading eyes search and find his, not releasing Edwin’s hand. "For such a brilliant detective, you’re a bit of an idiot some times, Ghostie." he says, with a little reproachful growl. And a generous dusting of pink across his cheeks, Edwin can’t help but note, as his hand is tugged, pulled firmly to his lover’s crotch.  

Oh. 

Edwin looks up at Thomas, with wide eyes, registering a real red blush now across the Cat King’s face. Thomas had enjoyed himself. Immensely. The wet spot beneath his palm is unmistakable. Edwin himself hadn't come untouched since he was a teenager, more hormones than blood running through his veins. And now Edwin had- had provoked it, just by giving in to his own desires.  

"Well," he says, trying and failing not to let a grin break across his face. "Seems like this has made for some good memories, for the both of us." 

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

haikyuu!! the dumpster battle ramblings

saw it earlier today and am going to see it again tomorow with a friend, am very Full Of Thoughts, if u dont wont spoilers for the movie well take this as your warning ig

okay first of all the sound direction, the sound direction was INSANELY good

this is absolutely a movie that needs to be experienced in cinema, the soundscape of tokyo gymnasium and the karasuno v nekoma match felt so vividly real it was like i was at an actual game

the soundtrack was great too, i mean it always is w/ hayashi yuuki

there were i think two tracks that used the leitmotif from 'above', good shit

the animation was also really great, overall it didnt look massively better than season 4 of the anime

which is fine, season 4 looked great imo (minus that outsourced episode)

but holy shit when the sakuga hit it hit HARD

tsukki and lev blocking, kageyama doing his thing, kenma and kuroo's quick, there were lots of really great sakuga moments

they also reused some shots from earlier on in the anime and idk maybe thats 'lazy' or whatever but i liked it, it was very nostalgic :')

they did re-animate and i think re-voice hinata and kenma's first meeting tho, framing it from kenma's POV, loved that

i think my favourite sakuga shot had to be hinata and kenma with the knives at each other's throats tho, that ate

not sure how i didnt know about this before hand but it made perfect sense to me when i saw studio trigger in the end credits, some of the sakuga, esp the blocking, had a bit of that trigger flair to it

so obviously they werent gonna fit in everything from the manga, and the movie definitely had kenma as its focus, but i think overall they did a decent job in picking and chosing what to cut

the one thing im annoyed about is the removal of old coach ukai and coach nekomata's backstory, i really i think it makes the handshake at the end of the game hit that much harder

other than that tho i dont think the movie suffered from not adapting everything in the manga, i mean obviously i wouldve LIKED it, but i dont think the movie NEEDED it to be a good movie

it very much felt like kenma was the main character of the movie, and the main focus, with kuroo and hinata as his deuteragonists

which i liked!!! i think framing the match from kenma's POV for the most part makes sense, and its fun to spend more time in outsider POVs of karasuno

rlly loved the adaptation of kuroo and kenma's childhood flashback, im pretty sure kaji yuuki voiced kid kenma too

watching their friendship grow and seeing them play togther now as high schoolers, AUGH RIGHT IN THE FEELS

theres also a montage of kid kuroo barging into kenma's room to demand they go play volleyball together that ends on kuroo doing so whilst kenma's changing/putting on trousers which was rlly funny and silly

the stuff with kuroo and tsukki was so good too

'thanks to everyone, occasionally it's fun', 'thank god i wasnt wrong', 'he's a man who walks ahead of me'

AUUUGHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOD :')

the scene that completely stole my breath away though was kageyama setting the open toss to hinata

i know ive already lost my mind over the whole 'threat of trust' thing and truly, the inarizaki match goes insane with that concept i will always adore it

but holy shit that scene smacked me over the head, HARD, with the concept of 'setting as a love language'

i just... i literally dont even have words for it it was SO amazingly good, i legitimately teared up in the cinema

speaking of other great scenes;

'stay interesting, 'kay?'

OHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDD

they did it perfectly

the music and the soundscape completely cutting out, the background whiting out so its just kenma and the net, kaji yuuki's delivery of the line

it genuinely felt like something out of a horror movie, it was creepy, and unsettling, and PERFECT

also;

hinata's reaction after kenma collapses and says 'that was fun'

murase ayumu's delivery was so VISCERAL, dude got in that booth and CHEERED

you really felt hinata's sheer utter come through in that little scene, same with kuroo's incredulous laugh

the end of the match was slightly a mixed bag for me

on the good hand;

having done from kenma's first person POV was cool, i dont think haikyuu's ever really done that before, and it looked awesome

cutting back on the music and background soundscaping so we just focus on kenma's breathing and the sound of the ball/players jumping/shoes squeaking etc was a great way to really immerse the viewer in the scene, and put us inside kenma's head

on the bad hand;

it was anticlimatic, and i KNOW the whole point of the end of the match is that its anticlimatic,

but i had always imagined the scene with dramatic swelling music and the characters running frantically, only for it to all cut away when the ball slips and all you can hear is kenma's 'ah-' and there'd be a close-up of his facial expression

the stage play did a very similar thing and it worked EXTREMELY well imo

instead by doing it in the first person POV and already not having music it just,,, didnt feel quite as impactful as it shouldve imo??

like the match points for the seijoh, shiratorizawa, or inarizaki matches were done really dramatically

and i know the whole point is that the nekoma match is kinda an outlier in that it ends in that anticlimatic way with the ball slipping, and theres that big beat with hinata calling out 'nice serve' to tanaka before the realisation sets in that theyve won, but jusstttt

idk like it certainly wasnt BAD, i still DEEPLY DEEPLY enjoyed it, but just personally if i'd been the director i wouldve done it differently

also!! because it was from his first person POV we didnt get to see kenma's face on the 'idiot! the ball hasn't dropped yet!!!' line, which was pretty disapointing ngl i rlly love that scene how it is in the manga

ok enough complaining tho back to the infinite list of stuff i loved about the movie

the camera work! good god the camera work was so fucking cool

it really made the space of the gymnasium feel 3d and real, the way the camera would move over and through the net with the ball helped emphasise the physicality of the players and the court

i know jack shit about cinematography but yeah, after the sound design the camera work was prolly the best thing

the post credits scene was great!! daishou trying and failing to neg kuroo cracks me up every damn time

and the set up for the kamomedai match was so hype

speaking of; the very vague forshadowing for hinata's fever of him having flushed cheeks and not being all exhausted after the game like the others, auughhh my heartttt

if he isnt already, this movie will make kenma one of your top 5 haikyuu characters

seriously i love how they switched the perspective and framing so it was a bit more like kenma was the 'main character' of this match and hinata was the 'rival'

overall the movie was cool, creative, and a really clearly loving adaptation, im more than happy to be paying to see it again tmr lol

i'll probably have even more to say after seeing it a 2nd time so tune in for that ig

[rottenbrainstuff]

Haha ok I am convinced. It takes a LOT to motivate me to watch a new show, but I am so convinced by what I've seen of IWTV that I am going to give it a try tonight. I even have one single glass of red wine left for it!

The thing is: I am extremely ambivalent about this whole... what.. franchise? Series? Little coven of crying gay babies?

I was a big giant fan of the vampire chronicles in the 90s and 2000s. I really do legit love the characters that were created: I love their damage, I love how articulate Anne Rice was about describing their issues, how vampirism has fucked up each and every one of them. I loved how sensual the books were, the beautiful descriptions of everything. I found it so interesting how everything could be so sexy when it very specifically contained no sex. I loved her vampire lore, I loved her take on traditional vampires. I know sensual romantic vampires are a bit of an eye-roll these days but I feel like back in the 90s it actually was something a bit more fresh.

Interview especially had some really amazing ideas in it. I remember really loving that book.

Lestat was an interesting book but tbh she lost me a bit with some of the lore. It really put a lot of Interview into perspective though. (is Lestat's mom in this show??? She seems like a bad bitch I'd like to see pop in)

I read about half of Armand and oddly couldn't make myself finish it, or read any more of the chronicles. I actually don't even remember what happened in that book anymore.

(I had a copy of Queen of the Damned but I can’t remember if I read it or not. If I did, I don’t remember anything from the plot)

As much as I remember enjoying reading Interview, I found it increasingly hard to reconcile my enjoyment of the books with my knowledge of what a nasty person Anne Rice was, and the extremely shitty things she did in (or I guess TO) the fandom. As the books went on I found the writing style less interesting and more irritating and pretentious. I gave an attempt to start that witch coven series and was surprised by how I couldn't get into it. I tried reading her Sleeping Beauty series and got viscerally disgusted. (disgust aside, it was a shock how poorly written I thought it was) Again, her reactions to the fandom for that were bemusing as well. Her weird and personal obsession with her own characters is extremely reminiscent to me of Stephanie Meyer if she was goth instead of mormon, and it makes it difficult for me to take it all seriously sometimes.

So........ I'm in this position where I think I do genuinely like the characters and the ideas, but I intensely dislike Anne Rice and view her as generally overrated as an author, and that soured the whole series for me. But I've been seeing all these clips online and I dunno. I like what I see. It feels the characters I like were pulled out of her weird mean hands and dusted off. I like that absolutely no clips I've seen really match anything that I remember reading in the books. I like that it looks actually, unambiguously gay. I like that in almost every single clip I've seen, all the characters ever seem to be doing is screaming at each other for stupid shit. I like that it looks ridiculous and deranged. I dunno. I kinda have high hopes that with this show, I'll be able to learn how to like these characters again.

(I'm being smacked in the face btw with my age once again - so many of you mention that you never watched the old (not very good) Tom Cruise movie. If you were a teenager in the 90s I think it was impossible to have avoided it. Or is it just that my friend group was particularly strange?)

I'll pop my thoughts in here but I'll tag appropriately, so if you don't want that nonsense, you don't have to see it.

[radiowallet]

Eyes Open - Chapter 4

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Amy Oliver (ofc) Summary: Amy and Marcus get some much needed advice. WC: 2K Warnings: 18+ MDNI Canon-typical violence, talk of police work, slow burn, yearning, idiots friends to lovers, financial stressors, second chance romance, workplace romance (sort of), older love interest, single parents, DID I MENTION THE YEARNING?

Series Masterlist II Main Masterlist II Marcus Moreno Masterlist

Cross-Posted to AO3

Part 3 >>> Part 5

For any new writing follow @radiowallet-writes and turn on notifications.

----

“You almost kissed?”

“Yes.”

“Almost?”

Were it anyone else repeating the question to Amy so incessantly, she would have very quickly ended the conversation with a middle finger and a few choice words to match. Since Christine is her best friend, she gets handed a glass of wine instead.

“Yes, Chris,” she answers again, crossing the living room and sitting opposite her best friend, passing her one of the glasses she brought over from the kitchen. “Marcus and I almost…kissed.” 

She whispers the last word before glancing down the hallway where Harris and Millie are playing, as if they could hear the conversation over their raucous tea party or the raspy tones of Fleetwood Mac humming from her record player. Chris, for her part, does her best to look supportive, but the impact is lost with the way she tilts her head, one dark brow arching up into her hairline.

“I don’t get it though,” she settles back into the couch, pulling a well-loved throw pillow into her lap. “You go upstairs, stamp Baldwin’s papers, and then…?”

Amy gives a halfhearted shrug as she takes a sip of her wine, swallowing past the cheap white’s sting on her taste buds. “I watched the front door until he walked out.”

If she was honest, it had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. It was still burned into her memory, the way Marcus moved towards her, slow measured steps that brought them chest to chest, fingers reaching out and grasping sweetly. The whole of him, broad warmth and desperation, overwhelming her in the best way, leaning in just so and letting her have the room to take that final step. 

She can still smell his aftershave, sharp spice, and sweet citrus. Can still feel his breath, honey slow along the seam of her lips. There in the dark, dusty files and dirty lies scattered around their feet, Amy had been ready to take that next step. 

Until life, in all its ridiculous casualties, decided to intervene. 

Fucking life. 

“Smart, yes. I see. You like him. He likes you. So naturally, you watch him walk away.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” she argues back. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I…” Amy glances around helplessly before turning back to her friend. “How do I even know he likes me? I mean, he’s practically a celebrity. He could have anyone? Someone…I don’t know, a little younger, with less baggage?”

“Girl, say that one more time and I will smack you so hard you’ll forget every thought inside your head including your goddamn age.”

Amy knows she’s right. Hell, if the statement had come out of Christine’s mouth her reaction would have been twice as visceral. And in all honesty, Amy’s age didn’t bother her in the slightest. 38 years on this planet have gifted her with confidence, content in the path she carved out for herself, and for her daughter. But sometimes it was hard to ignore the deepest of insecurities, including the ones that were absolute rubbish.

“You have to say–” “I don’t have to say shit and you know it.”

Christine grabs her hand and squeezes hard, holding Amy’s attention just as tight. 

“You are a catch. A woman with a messy life, yes, but so what? It’s a good life and it seems like this man may see exactly that.”

Amy nods and frowns, refusing to succumb to tears over cheap wine and girl talk on a Wednesday night. She casts another glance down the hallway, the chatter of Harris and Millie drifting out of her daughter’s bedroom. The sound would have usually brought a smile to her face, but instead, she frowns, shifting further away from the pleasant feeling of Marcus’s breath mingled with her own until reality snaps back into place.  

“And what am I supposed to tell Harris?”

“Oh no. No, no. That excuse might have worked back when she was 2, but she’s old enough now to at least understand her mom can have a life outside of this apartment.”

Amy hums into her glass, searching for a retort to convince the other woman this was for the best, but she knows that’s too tall an order. Out of everyone in her life, Chris would know better than most. They had met years ago, their well-meaning mothers signing them both up for a single mother’s playgroup. After twenty minutes they locked eyes and nodded, before making a quick exit, landing back at Amy’s apartment where they split a box of wine while the girls babbled baby talk back and forth surrounded by Harris’s stuffed animals. 

She stands and moves towards the record player, flipping the vinyl over with practiced ease and resetting the needle. Christine doesn’t miss a beat. 

“Besides, isn’t Mr. Heroic man a single dad?”

“Missy is 16.”

“Oh, and did she come out of the womb that age? Because if she didn’t I’m pretty sure Marcus knows what it’s like to have a 7-year-old in the house.”

“You’ve made your point, Christine,” Amy concedes, moving back to the kitchen to top off her glass. 

“Good. Now,” she meets Amy where she stands in the kitchen stealing the bottle from her hands to refill her own glass. “What are you going to do about it?”

-----

“So you didn’t kiss her?”

“No.”

“You…?”

“Almost.” 

“You almost…?”

“Kissed. We almost kissed. Happy now?”

Miracle Guy rolls his head over to stare Marcus down, a short laugh snorted out between them. “Well, I would be ecstatic, except you didn’t close the deal.”

Marcus does his best to ignore the outdated statement from his friend, instead focusing on the empty building across the street. They’d been hiding out on an abandoned rooftop, the brisk night air whipping around them as they watched for any movement below. They had spent the better part of their night in silence, waiting for something - anything - to happen and after a few hours of stark silence, Miracle had broken, starting in on his favorite topic. It didn’t take long for Marcus to admit to the stolen moment in the filing room, followed, of course, by instant and painful regret.

Maybe if he changes the subject.

“Do you think we’re wrong about the pattern? Maybe they’re not coming tonight. Or they’re in a different part of the city?”

“Everything we mapped out from the case reports you stole–”

“I didn’t steal anything.”

“Fine. Borrowed. Procured. Acquired. Whatever way you spin it, there’s a distinct pattern. A new building, on a new block, on a new night. This is the only vacant building in the radius we mapped out, and they have yet to make a move on a Wednesday night. Now tell me again why you didn’t kiss her?”

Marcus listens patiently as Miracle Guy goes through each piece of information they honed in on over the past two days of research – case reports, suspicious activity, rumors, receipts, data scrubs – biting hard at the inside of his cheek when he inevitably ends right back where they started. 

“I told you, her boss interrupted us right before…” he lets his words drift off, remembering that moment in vivid detail. How beautiful Amy looked, the low light cresting elegant shadows across her features, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed, the tips of her fingers finding his own as they slowly moved closer and closer together. “Shit. I fucking hate her boss.”

“He does seem to have your number,” Miracle laughs, reaching for the bag of Cheetos sitting between them. “Think he’s sweet on her?”

“What? No, no…and even if he was, Amy doesn’t…” His words trail off one more time as paranoid panic settles deep in the pit of his stomach. Amy was confident and funny and beautiful. Any man would be an idiot not to notice, and Derek Baldwin may be many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. But if she had any interest in the other man, Marcus surely would have noticed. 

Right?

He had been so sure; her warm breath painting his lips, her voice desperate as she whispered his name, her heartbeat pulsing loud enough for him to hear it alongside his own. He hadn’t imagined any of it. So why was he suddenly so worried if she laughed at Baldwin’s jokes? If she squeezed his shoulder on bad days? If she knew how he took his coffee? How he ordered lunch? How he kissed? 

Marcus’s frown deepens and he presses up from the pavement, elbows digging into the gravel hard enough to bruise. He groans, arching his back into a stretch before falling back down to his stomach and helping himself to a handful of Cheetos. 

It isn’t lost on him how his body aches after just a few hours on the ground and he can’t help but wonder when these stakeouts became so hard. But the longer he lays here the more apparent it becomes — tight joints and a sore back, tired eyes and a strained neck — he’s old. 

“Horseshit,” Miracle Guy grumbles through a mouthful of chips, and in a fit of embarrassment, Marcus realizes he must have said that last part out loud. “You can’t be old because that would make me old.” 

“You do have to admit, these stakeouts were easier when we were in our twenties,” Marcus hums, readjusting his weight yet again, another failed attempt to ease the pain in his back. 

“Yeah, well, doesn’t mean I want to go back and be 21 again.” 

Marcus barks out an agreement, a snort of laughter following the confirmation. “Still, what if I’ve just got too much shit going on. I mean…I’ve got a teenage daughter.” 

“Doesn’t Amy have a kid?” 

“A daughter,” Marcus clarifies, smiling despite himself. “Her name is Harris.”  

“Well isn’t that something,” Miracle marvels, letting sarcasm drip down into each and every word. 

It’s annoying, despite his rather clunky way of going about it, how easily the blonde man is shooting down each and every one of Marcus’s concerns. He’s about to complain about just that when the sound of a truck catches his ear, and when he glances down to the alley below, he can see that their days of research paid off. 

“Do we move in?” 

Marcus doesn’t answer right away, instead watching quietly as three large men clamber out of the truck and move inside the building, the low mumble of their words lost beneath the puttering of the engine they left running. 

“Let’s just watch. Gather what intel we can.”

“And if it looks like we’re right?”

Again Marcus is quiet, knuckles dragging along the cold pavement, jaw ticking where he holds it too tight, eyes still trained on the truck below. Without a word, he pulls his cell from his back pocket and sends one, two texts back to back before finally giving his order. 

“If we’re right we call it in.”

------

Amy hears her phone ding from the bathroom, her toothbrush hanging from her mouth, a pore strip still stuck to her nose. She follows the sound down the hall to where it sits in the kitchen next to her and Christine’s dirty wine glasses. She figured the small mess along with the girls’ tea party/fashion show/Barbie battle melee could all wait until tomorrow to be tackled. The mess never bothers her, preferring the comfort of her home, clutter and all. 

She spits the mouthful of toothpaste in the kitchen sink while she blinks her phone awake, two messages from Marcus waiting for her. She holds her breath and counts backward from ten before letting all the air from her lungs free in one go. 

When she finally taps open the texts, equal parts confusion and affection swirl low in her belly. 

M: I was thinking about Monday.

M: Call me tomorrow?  

Barefoot in her kitchen with only the glow of the stove light keeping watch, toothpaste dripping down her chin, and hair piled into a messy bun, she taps out three letters and hits send, a secret smile turning up her cheeks.

A: Yes.

------

A/N: I can't begin to express my gratitude to everyone who has read, liked, commented, and reblogged this silly little story. It's been an absolute joy to play in this sandbox and I can't say thank you enough.

And to my ride or die -- thank you @jazzelsaur for reading every silly line about these two. ilu

[rcksmith]

Spring breeze part.4 — Spencer Reid

Icon by @obiwansjedi

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3

Sumarry: After the breakup, Spencer and the Reader follow different paths and lives. But, after 8 years, Gideon's death brings an avalanche of emotions, putting the two face to face again in a reencounter that could break their hearts again — season 10 —

Couple: Spencer Reid /Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: mention of death, mention of violence, death of the father, depressive thoughts, murder, crying, swearing, a lot of anguish, mention of love, fluff (but it has a very fluff too, I'm not a monster)

Word count: 5k.

A/N: This is the most sad chapter that has, I promise that the next will be very cute.💖

I saw Gideon's death episode again to make it as faithful as possible for you guys. I used the original Criminal Minds chronology too, being 8 years from Gideon's last appearance until his death.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Let me know if you want to be added for a taglist for a specific fandom (Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Riverdale, Roman Godfrey, or all)

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

Hunting bandits. Save people. Improve the world a little bit every day. Those were the three things Spencer believed it was worth to be at BAU. It was worth fighting for, holding on, staying sleepless for days, being haunted by murderers by day and nightmares at night. For what it was worth looking at the abyss, even when it looks to you

Reid could deal with human perversion, with the thousand and one ways to practice heinous crimes, the sowing of evil and cruelty. He could cope with constantly being inside insane minds, learning his whys and mechanisms. He could take it. He put up with it day after day, case after case. He endured being tortured, stay being held at gunpoint, having a piece of his essence plucked with red-hot iron month after month. Spencer knew he could handle it.

But he couldn't handle death. Goodbye. It shattered his soul far more than difficult cases, pushed his own sanity to the limit. Perhaps burying his feelings as deeply as possible was just a method of delaying the wave that would drown him at one time or another. Inevitably.

Each farewell took a piece of Reid away. His father, his mother, Ellie, you, Gideon, JJ, were just a few of the people who left, living their lives elsewhere. But what about those who died? The victims, the children, Hayley, Maeve, Emily (even if only for a short time) and so many others. These took much more than a piece of him. Maybe costu his whole soul.

Spencer felt himself harden over the years, the cases, loss after loss, day after loss. He felt the purity of his own heart slip through his fingers like sand, the faith in humanity to be put to the test. Sometimes even faith in himself.

Was that the price to pay for that job? Being constantly vulnerable? See his life and the lives of the people his loved most at gunpoint?

It was worth?

Maeve's death shook him more than any other, sucking all the pink glow from his world, leaving him with only the cold feeling of hopelessness. A very deep void. It took a long time for memories of she not to hurt like red-hot iron, for his breathing not to be heavy. It took a long time to be happy again.

And when Spencer felt healed from the deepest wounds, the most visceral pains, he was hit again. Deeply. If Maeve's death was a wave that brought him down, Gideon's death was the tsunami that destroyed him.

“It's Gideon.” Hotch's voice confirmed the fear of everyone in that cottage.

Then Spencer felt shattered. Torn apart. Torn like a rag doll and placed on the fire. He wanted to scream, to scream so loudly that he would never regain his voice. He wanted to break something, destroy some, run away.

But run away from whom? From what? That pain or himself? If Spencer had been able to tear off his own skin at that time and be someone else, he would not have hesitated. Not having dropped to his knees in that cottage was a miracle, because Spencer no longer knew what was holding him upright.

Jason Gideon, in many ways, was all that Spencer had. He knew that they took different paths and traveled different roads, living different lives, but he believed that they always end up on the same, even one they was old. Spencer was sure that if he was dying on his knees, Gideon would be to rescue him. For all those 8 years, it was extremely comforting to think that Gideon was out there, living life, finding the hope he had in college, finding the brilliance the world had.

And Reid knew that Jason had you. And you had Gideon. That was the most soothing and comforting thought. No matter what, he knew that you would take care of Jason, just like he would take care of you. But now... now Spencer's world had dissolved in the air. Like a sandcastle knocked over by the wind.

And the pain was surreal.

When he realized, he had left the room, close to the... body. If he could, Spencer would have moved away from himself. How would he take it? One more death, another psychopath. How many other people he love will are died at the hands of the work he did every day?

The answer to all of these questions was frightening, and Spencer wasn't sure if wanted them.

The trip to the coroner was the worst Reid had ever done, talking about the body was the worst conversation he had ever had. And when Morgan put his hand on his shoulder and said that he couldn't close himself now, that they were going to get that son of a bitch, all Spencer wanted to say was that he couldn't take it anymore. That he couldn't breathe. The emptiness was too oppressive. So much visceral pain.

But that was not what Spencer said. He just clung to the only lifeguard in the middle of the rough and deserted sea: justice. Gideon deserve it.

Reid doesn't know how he managed to get back to the Gideon’s house, how he managed to hear Hotch and Rossi talking about what could have happened. But he was there, standing, by some miracle.

“Do you know who might want to have done this?” Hotch asked Stephen, who had arrived, his eyes red from the crying he struggled to hold.

“No. I know he had a list of things he wanted to do before he died... That's how we came back to speak, one of the things was to get back in touch.” His voice was so reminiscent of Gideon's that it was stabbed in the heart of Reid.

“Didn't he talk about being chased? Feeling anything strange?” Rossi commented.

Reid watched Stephen's expressions carefully, first because he reminded Gideon a lot, and second because he looked for any clues in his reactions.

Stephen took a second to think before saying: “No, but we both don't keep in touch daily, you know?” He swallowed a sob, probably with regret, but then his eyes lit up with some information: “'But Y/n surely know, they both spoke to each other every day, if my father was thinking differently, surely she know.”

The mention of your name hit Reid with a very different wave. Bringing a very different feeling than it should. At that moment, he felt himself holding the air.

For a second, a lapse of consciousness, Spencer had not connected any of this with your physical presence. The notion that you were Gideon's daughter was obvious but, for some reason, Spencer didn't think about the fact that you were going to be there. That you would share the same air with him again, the same place...

“We will have to call her, bring her here to see if something has been left, or taken. If there is anything important on the scene.” It was Hotch.

“I called her as soon as you guys called me.” Stephen said “She arrived from California the day before yesterday, my father and she were going to travel.” He tried to swallow the crying, his eyes trembling.

"And you weren't going?" Rossi added.

“I have a son and a wife.” He gave a smile broken by the sadness of the mourning “They would stop by before I go… Y/n was going to tell me the news, since our schedules hardly match much, she works as an astronomer in…”

“Caltech.” Spencer completed, without even realizing it, like a thought out loud.

“Yea.” Stephen agreed.

Spencer felt a chill go from head to toe, and another ton of feelings were thrown at his back. The reality that he was going to see you again hit him hard. Like an arrow. Suddenly, Reid wanted to get out of there. Run as far as possible.

He couldn't see you. He had no ability to deal with those feelings now. Not now, when his life was so overwhelmed with emotions for Gideon’s death that he still hadn't dealt Not when you aroused the feeling of... hope. Spencer can’t could hope, of any kind. Not for them to be taken from him with visceral force. Reid was already hurt enough for handling another fall.

“... But I don't think it's a good idea for my sister to be here, anyway.” Stephen continued to speak.

Rossi and Hotch frowned: “Why?”

“They were very connected. Seeing this scene is not going to do her any good...” he sobs this time “Y/n is not like me… she is sentimental, emotional. ”

“As long as you're trying to stay calm, she'll be the opposite.” Hotch completed.

“I just don't want my sister to suffer anymore and...”

But it was too late for Stephen to complete. It was too much for Spencer to escape. It was too late to be born again, in a different life.

A gray car moved forward on the stone road, at too high a speed not to have washed several road fines. That was so much typical of you who hurt Spencer's heart pieces more than he thought possible. More than he thought he could feel at the time. You were always so wild at the wheel. But Reid didn't have time to finish a thought, not even Rossi, Hotch, Morgan who was with them or even Stephen. Because car brutally stopped it, the door opened and…

And it was as if the sun came out from behind the clouds after years. As if summer had finally come after decades of overwhelming winter. In a burst, everything you've ever represented for Spencer has come back for him once again. And he felt the same thing that he felt when he first saw you, 8 years ago. And he was catatonic.

You got out of the car in a very hurried and desperate way. And as much as there were tears in your eyes and redness in cheeks, Spencer has never seen anyone so beautiful. Your hair was longer, in a brighter shade, maybe you had dyed it. Your features were more lyrical and beautiful, and Reid thought that the passage of time had no effect on you. While he considered himself just less clumsy over the years, you proved to be blooming like Romania's most superb rose.

“DAD!” But that was when your desperate voice brought Reid's consciousness back to earth.

You weren't calling your brother, you weren't asking why, you weren't in mourning. You were in denial. Disbelieving. You called out to your father, with the certainty that he would show up. And the despair in your eyes hurt Reid more than being shot.

But before the agents could do anything, you were running towards the house and Stephen ran towards you, taking you in his arms, trying to keep you from getting inside.

“LET ME GO, STEPHEN!” You struggled, trying to get rid of your brother's arms, your hair messing with the wind, tears streaming down your eyes. “They are wrong! It's not our father! Let me fucking go! DAD!”

“Y/n” Stephen had a broken heart in his eyes, some tears streaming down his eyes “You need to calm down before you get in there !”

“LET ME GO!” Yours sobs broke the hearts of the four agents over there “DAD!” You was cryng out, almost like a prayer, in a desperate call.

"He's gone, Y/n.” Your brother kept his arms stronger in you, trying to contain you while you struggle in trying to break free and go inside the house, under the illusion that you would find your father there.

“NO!” Now your crying was continuous “I spoke to him yesterday! It's not him, Stephen!” Then your brother turned you to him, holding you tight, and you melted into a visseral pain “It can't be him!”

“I know...” he sobbed, looking at you with the same shared pain “I know...”

So you gave yourself up to a painful, loud and desperate crying, the kind that won't let you breathe. And, unlike Reid, you fallen down. Your knees found the stone and grass floor, your hands clasped on Stephen's shirt, who knelt on the floor with you, delivered the pain you both shared.

You knew what your father's risks were in working in such a dangerous profession. Expose yourself to constant and frightening danger. You always knew about the risks, you just tried to ignore them all your life, sinking your fears about your father not coming home at night. Then, when he let the BAU, that fear dissipated. You felt a colossal weight being lifted off your shoulders, like tons of lead, and you let go of a fear so great that you didn't even know you had it.

For 8 years you thought that the chances of him not coming home were over, that the chances of seeing him the next day had increased dramatically. For 8 years you two traveled together, stopping at every type of diner for milkshake, chocolate ice cream and mint - his favorites - For 8 years you had your best friend, the only thing you knew you had in the world. You always knew that if you were drowning in the ocean, it would be your father who would give his lungs for you to breathe.

You didn't see a life without Gideon.

For you, you were crying for hours in what one day was your father's backyard, totally devastated, but for the rest of the world it was a matter of minutes.

Your sobs were so loud and real that Hotch and Rossi caught themselves with watery eyes, perfectly understanding the pain you were going through, the devastation. The two had lost many people, many of them being essential pieces to be able to continue breathing. Many of them felt wounds that would never heal.

But it was Rossi who approached you, the pain at the top of his throat, his mind wandering the day Gideon said he was going to have a little girl. Unlike Stephen, Rossi never saw you in person, but the sparkle in Jason's eyes whenever he talked about you, or with you on the phone, was enough to know that you were one of the essential pieces to keep breathing.

“Hi, my name is Rossi.” He knelt in front of you and your face went towards him, your cheeks and nose as red as your eyes.

“M-my dad talked about you."” You were still sobbing, slowly letting go of Stephen's shirt.

"Good things, I hope.” The two of you laughed like a sigh, and soon the pain returned to your eyes in a visseral way. “I know this is not fair, and I know it is asking too much, but I need you to go inside and try to find something out of place. Something that whoever did this to your father may have taken or left. ”

You closed your eyes in pain, tears streaming as you sobbed. Your hands, trembling and cold, went to your face, perhaps trying to hide from reality, perhaps wiping away tears. Maybe both. When you looked back at Rossi again, you saw the pain in his eyes too.

"I don't know if I can do it.” You admitted, your voice shaking.

"I know.” Rossi took his hand to yours, squeezing comfortingly “But only you can help us now, help other daughters not lose their father to the same killer. Being inside in the house can bring information that is in your subconscious. I promise you will make it, we will all be here with you.”

His handshake got stronger, and it reminded you of your father. That should have been the same way he comforted the victims' relatives, the way he was supposed to act with people.

'Everyone is somebody's son.' That's what Gideon said. It hit you like an atomic bomb. And, for a moment, you thought it was possible to die of sadness.

You squeezed Rossi's hand tightly, as if you were looking for courage. When you opened eyes again, you gave a weak nod. Carefully, as if any sudden movement is capable of causing you more pain, you stood up, your legs wobbly, your heart bleeding, sadness clouding your vision. Rossi put his hand behind your back, in a way to make sure him were there, as an anchorage in reality that would not let you get lost in the valley of sadness and pain.

As you walked up to the house, you didn't see the other agents, you didn't see the trees, the cars. At that time, you didn't even know what color the sky was anymore. It was like a suspended moment, when the world is in slow motion, the hemisphere is terrified. The sadness was palpable in the breeze, in the way that the rays of the sun did not reach the ground. The whole land looked like mourning.

As soon as you stepped inside the house, the smell of home and Gideon hit your nose, and you felt your face tighten in an expression of pure pain. You didn't notice the agents coming in behind you, you didn't notice Penelope and JJ. You just saw the furniture, the decor, his stuff. As if Gideon had just left for the market and was going to come back.

Everything was in was there. Minus the most important thing: him.

You did not notice when Rossi left you, you did not notice who approached. Everything was in a haze of pain.

But that's when you saw the strong blood marks on the floor, stuck to the wood with possession. A cold shiver as sighed from death ricocheted through your entire body, bristling all over your skin. In a burst, like the bursting of a violin string, the mist dissipated, the state of tupor burst, and reality hit you with overwhelming force.

And then the plug fell.

Jason Gideon had died.

You fell again, barely noticing the sobs and loud crying starting to come out again, the most desperate and painful in you life. But this time the arms that took you were different, bringing with you sensations that you haven't felt in a long time. That a long time ago you forgot that you could feel.

They were long, thin, and contained a vigor hidden beneath the thin facade. The smell of his presence was… heaven. That feeling was your anchorage on the high seas, in the valley of despair, and you clung to him for fear of drowning, of not finding your way back home.

You didn't have to see it to know who it was.

You turned to the arms that took you, now Spencer kneels with you on the floor, and you cried in a way that you never cried before, with a visseral pain. Your hands went to the brown cardigan he wore, closing there as if the fabric was your only chance for salvation.

So you looked at the immensity of the his brown irises.

"He was the only thing I had, Spen.” You sobbed loudly with the crying, gently swaying his coat, your voice utterly torn.

Spencer felt his eyes sting, his throat lock and the remains of what was his heart ache in a hideous way.

“I know.” He felt a tear run down his left cheek, his hands on your arms.

At this time, the two of you supported each other. Gideon meant a lot to you two. An irreplaceable role in yours life. And Spencer knew that was what you were talking about when you said:

"He was the only thing we both had.” You closed your eyes, your hands still firmly on his coat, your heart pounding.

But this time Spencer's voice was just as broken when he said: “I know.”

Then he hugged you.He hugged you for everything. He hugged you because it was a pain that only you two could understand. He hugged you because you needed it, and because he needed too.

Jason Gideon had a special connection with you two, a connection that only the two of you had ever experienced. Each relationship with Gideon was different, special in different ways, but only the two of you had him as a protector, mentor, a much more paternal and confidant figure. He was the kind of person you could leave your life in his hands, the kind who would teach you the secret of the worlds, show you what goodness was and at the same time strength. And you two had that.

You stained Reid's coat with tears, and Reid stained you with the strong smell he had. He stepped far enough away to be able to see your face perfectly, at a considerable distance, and, against everything he had ever done before with anyone, he took your face in his hands, his eyes fixed on your in pain shared.

“We will catch how did it.” Reid assured you, as if he had tattooed this words on your skin. You closed your eyes in pain, but he brought you back “Hey, keep looking at me."

So you did it. Because you would always follow Spencer. To hell if he asked.

"Don't take your eyes off mine, okay?” His voice was so sweet, so gentle, and you couldn't have done anything but agree. “When was the last time you spoke to Gideon?”

“Yesterday.” You replied “We were going to travel to the beach today, I took a vacation from work.”

“Was he at home when you two talked?”

The team looked at each other, with several questions in those look.

You denied it, the hiccup now because of the shortness of breath you had because of the crying.

“He stopped at Roanoke for...” and that's when you seemed to remember something.

Your eyes widened softly, your lips trembled, and you let out a stammering sigh as you try to remember something very important.

“What do you remember?” Spencer stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, trying to calm the beating of your heart that went back to being frantic and making you focus on the question, not the sea of ​​emotions you felt.

“He…” was when your eyes fluttered before meeting Reid's again. “He said he saw a woman on the news who was found dead. And ... and that he had to make sure of one thing ”

Rossi looked at Hotch, who gave an attentive and objective expression.

“Did he tell you why?” His eyes closed again and you sobbed. Reid moved closer, bringing your face back in his direction again “Look at me, Y/n.”

As soon as you did, he gave you a gentle smile, but contained all the pain in the world. He understood what you were felling.

“Why was he interested in the case?” He changed the question.

“I-it was something about...” you searched in your mind “Girl named Tara. I don’t know. He mentioned about a blue butterfly tattoo on her ankle as well, and that it was something to do with a… a case or something.”

“1978” Rossi interrupted and everyone looked at him “Gideon and I worked on a case in 1978, the suspect was never caught and Tara was a teenager who we thought had been kidnapped by him. The killer left dead birds in the hands of the victims ”

“But he didn't mention birds and...” That's when your eyes, fluttering, darted around the room and you stopped abruptly.

Spencer turned his attention to you again, seeing that you were staring somewhere. His hands slowly left your face and he asked:

“What?”

“The board.” You pointed to your father's board, which had a beautiful brown bird.

“Does say anything to you?” Rossi turned his attention to you.

You shook your head, your body too exhausted to go to the painting and examine it.

“He shot the board.” You looked at the agents “My father loved that painting, he never would have done that. Even though my father is stunned, he has the best aim I have ever seen.”

“The devil is in the details." Rossi went to the pinting and, after two seconds, turned to the team and said “I already know who did this.”

You let out a gigantic sigh of relief as the agents split up to continue the case, speaking so fast that you couldn't keep up.

“I helped?” You looked at Spencer, tears still shining in your eyes.

He smiled and nodded “Very.”

But when he got up, you took his hand, making Reid turn his attention back to you again, a questioning look on his face.

“You're going to get it, aren't you?” The sob invaded your voice "Promise me that you will catch him, Spen."

Reid took his hand in your, giving you a strong, comforting squeeze before saying:

"I will. I promise.”

And then he left, along with the other agents.

- - -

You thought you knew what pain was, the loss, the tightness in the heart. You thought that your many relationship breakdowns showed you what it was like to suffer. But you have never been so wrong. None of that compared to how you were now, to what you felt.

You would trade that feeling for anything in the world.

This was terrible. A cold, coercive, brutal and cruel feeling. As if you were at the bottom of a black ocean, unable to breathe, falling deeper and deeper, consumed by the overwhelming cold of the water.

It was impossible to say in words how you felt. But if it were you had to define it in one word you would say: pain. A pain that bends you, a pain that makes you want to scream, that pierces your lungs so that it is not possible to breathe, but that even so, you fight for air.

It was pain at its rawest, most brutal, sharp and atrocious like a dagger blade. You would go through Dante's hells for eternity instead of living one day with that pain.

Since Spencer and the agents went after the person in charge, you have sat on the steps of the front door, watching the nature, the shaking of the trees, but your attention was so far, far away. Perhaps unattainable.

Gideon always loved watching the seasons go by, and in that moment, you wondered if looking at the same thing he looked at every day would make you feel close to him. Feel with him. It had only been three days since you last saw him, when he picked you up at the airport, but you felt like you were past three lives. How would you go without it? How were you able to think of living without it?

You pulled your knees up against your chest, hugging your legs, the metallic, atrocious and icy taste of devastation stuck to yours in your mouth. The trees shook hard, forcing the birds to fly away, but you didn't feel cold. You were not feeling the cold breeze hit your body, nor were your muscles contracting in exhaustion from the hard wood of the steps you were sitting on.

The hunger, the cold, the heat or the craving could not reach you, as if the pain had paralyzed all your system. Probably your soul.

You didn't see when Stephen put father's blanket over your shoulders, nor did you hear his sobs for seeing you so devastated. But you smelled Gideon, and the warmth of the blanket was like having his arms around you again. Then the rest of the water in your body found its way to your eyes and crying was as automatic as breathing.

You were clinging to Spencer taking the son of a bitch who did it, trying to chase away any other thoughts that weren't about that. You didn't want to think about what would happen after he was caught. Which meant his capture for you. It would bring justice to Gideon, honoring his name, his life, but it wouldn't bring him back. What was taken from you would not be repaired, regardless of the end of that damned man.

When he was caught, you would have nothing else to focus on instead.

You don't know how long you stayed there. Hours? Days? The those peach and gold tones in the sky is from dusk or the dawn of a new day?

You had lost track of time, as if your watch had stopped since the time Gideon died.

The sound of cars on the road was the only thing that pulled you out of your fucking valley, and as soon as the black SUVs stopped, you stood up as if you had been waiting your whole life for that moment. The blanket fell from your shoulders, heart accelerated at an alarming rate, and for a second, everything was gone from your mind.

Rossi was the first to get out of the car, but yours eyes darted to Reid. You wanted to run, ask what had happened, listen to the answers. But you were paralyzed in place. Afraid of the truth, of reality.

What would become of you after that news?

Spencer came towards you without hesitation, and you couldn't take your eyes off him for a second. He didn't say anything, nor did he explain anything. It was not needed. The way he reached out his hand and placed your father's rings in your palm were enough answers.

Your whole body shook and you looked at Reid with more emotions than askers.

"He is dead." He told you, and it made you fall down again.

But this time you fell into his hugging, clinging to him in despair. There were many meanings in that embrace: gratitude, relief, fear, pain and grief. And Spencer hugged you back in the same way.

You two stayed that way for a while, even when the agents went to talk to Stephen, even when Garcia and JJ left the house, even when the cold wind hit you both.

“Thanks." You heard yourself say it, and Spencer shook his head, signaling that it wasn't necessary, and the two of you moved away.

So you went to Rossi, and hugged him too. In that second, Rossi could feel Gideon in that hug, and it took a second to not cry.

“Your father was a great man." He told you when the two of you walked away, and you agreed on a sad smile.

"He was." You looked down at the rings in your hand, staying a second there before turning to the agents and saying: “You guys are going to the funeral, aren't you? I ... my dad would like it w-very much.”

"Of course." Rossi guaranteed it.

As they walked away and went back to the car, heading for their own houses, your eyes met Spencer's and he whispered in the air to you:

“I will see you at the funeral."

You nodded, giving you a sad, grateful smile. And while everyone was leaving and you were looking at the rings in your hand again, you had a feeling that your story with Spencer had just started over.

A/n: I also lost a very important person to death, and for everyone who went through it too, I mean that no one is alone! My message box is open if you need anything! Love you❤️

Tagged @gublersuvula

@peculiarinsomniac

@measure-in-pain

@nobutalsoyes

🍒 @misshale21

[honourablejester]

Shadow & Bone Reaction

Okay, so I watched Shadow & Bone last night. Stayed up until 5am to manage it, so this is going to be muddled, but howandever. Spoilery and involved first impressions from someone who has not read the books below:

Right, so the Ketterdam crew are my favourites. Obviously. This was guaranteed

All three of them, I cannot decide between them

Jesper is a gambling addict which does grind my miserly gears a bit, but he’s also lovely and adorable and quite possibly the most badass person on the show, which is an achievement, and his interactions with Inej are beyond adorable, so I love him with all my heart

That thing Inej said to Alina? Whenever you need it, my hand is yours? That is me for Inej. More on this later

Kaz is a vicious little gremlin of a man with a badly hidden streak of loyalty, and he’s exactly my stripe of guile antihero, so of course I adore him madly

The absolute chaos of them just … accidentally poking their oars into the entire rest of the plot is beautiful beyond belief. They’re just there and mucking things up for everybody like someone threw a bag of spanners into an engine, and it’s beautiful

I was surprisingly really on board for Mal and Alina. Particularly them as kids, this pair of tiny scrappers against the world

I also loved the whole First Army part at the beginning. Like, Mal’s pair of friends, Mikael and Dubrov, they’re adorable (and I fucking screamed later, with the machine gun, you bet), him and Alina in the camp, his friends teasing him about her, him stealing Grisha grapes for her. The show got right in on the friendship and the love there, and honestly I was there for it

The Darkling, on the other hand …

Right. So. I expected him to maybe be … more subtle than he was? I mean, I think everyone’s expecting him to go villain here, so it probably wasn’t supposed to be that subtle, but …

That moment where Alina decides to kiss him. After being separated from Mal, with no communication with her old life, and with Kirigan being all sad and incredibly intense at her at random moments. Like. Long, long before we get to his whole forcibly altering her body to control her moment, I was looking at her kissing this dude and going ‘Oookay, okay lady, that’s, that’s not a good plan. I get that it’s Ben Barnes, do not blame you there, but that’s so not a good plan’

He just kept coming on so fucking strong, you know? The whole intense ‘I’ve been waiting for you my whole life’. He was bleeding desperation and control from the get go. And like, lots of people have those in this show, but where someone like Kaz or Inej feel like ‘I will stab you in the face right fucking now to get out of this alive’, Kirigan is very much, yes, ‘I will swallow your entire city in darkness and give a nice little speech about it to captive dignitaries who I’ll then murder because they shouldn’t have opened their mouths’

There’s more power there than the others, I think, so it feels less like ‘I’ll do what I have to do’ and more ‘I’ll do what I want’

Which his backstory was an interesting show on, yes, how he started out just as desperate as any of them, and then vengeance and black magic ate him. As it does. But still. He comes on too strong

(And the collar. The collar. Not even the massacre later matched that one for me, though Genya’s casual mention of him ‘gifting’ her at 11 came close. But it didn’t match the collar for visceral no. He mutilated Alina to implant a control device within her body. He can die in a ditch with his head covered in pitch and set on fire now. I can’t with him. No)

So, yes. Excellent villain, definitely, I just expected him to maybe take a bit longer to show it?

His minions are adorable, though. The two married heartrenders, Genya and the Durast she has the biggest danged crush on (gotta say, when Kirigan said he needed him for later, I was honestly expecting him to kill him for something, to hurt Genya, did not expect David to be in on the whole mutilating control collar thing)

The show did a lot of work humanising the various factions, so when you get moments like Jesper vs Ivan, round 1, you don’t want either of them to lose, because Ivan has a husband to go back to, and Jesper is Jesper. And then Jesper can’t shoot a pretty man in the face, and we’re golden

(Sidenote one: that scene was badass, holy shit, Jesper was playing with him, it was incredible)

(Sidenote two: Jesper vs Ivan, round 2? Less sympathetic on Ivan’s part)

(Sidenote three: the Ketterdam three vs Kirigan’s everybody was just, god I love them, we’re going to be straight badass all down the line, can you beat a centuries-old shadow sorcerer with a flashbang? An inferni with a knife? A heartrender with a gun while playing with him the entire time? Come to Ketterdam and find out! I love them)

Now. Now. The main thing for me. Inej. Inej and Alina and Kaz

The scene in the Little Palace where Alina shows her power. Ignoring everything that promptly went tits up for everybody. The look on Inej’s face. The look on her face. Hope and faith. From Inej, who’s been so hurt and desperate so far. Oh, that killed me. So much. I was there like, Alina, Alina, it’s not your fault, but you better be worth it, I know you don’t need the pressure but if you have to let anyone down, let it not be Inej. Not her. And Kaz Brekker, you sociopathic mushroom, do not fuck this up for her. Okay? Not this

And then he doesn’t. He doesn’t. He gives up a million kruge and potentially everything he has so he doesn’t have to break Inej’s faith. I loved him there. Right there

And like, he was trying to weasel something out of it. He was still trying to bully Alina all the way to the end, even after she saved his life, because he didn’t want to lose everything, he wanted to have some way to be able to bring Jesper and Inej back with him, because otherwise he was walking back to a city that hated him with literally nothing, since he’d mortgaged the Crow Club on Inej’s debt, and she’d walked out on him anyway, and he’d let her. So he tried to bully Alina, tried to force some way to let Inej come back, without actually forcing Inej. Just, you know, the saint she loved instead, and a woman who’d also just lost everything, and maybe could have used those jewels to stay ahead of pursuit for a while, but that’s not his problem. That’s not his problem

Kaz Brekker is a vicious horrible gremlin of a man, but not to his own, mostly, as much as he can avoid it, and like … did they know in advance what I like? Because that was it

(Him entering the fight on the skiff solely to save the other two, everyone else can die, but he’s going to dive Jesper clear of the Cut and hammer a volcra’s head in to save an unarmed Inej, that was beautiful. Even if I was a tiny bit annoyed at Inej for panicking and throwing her weapons away while outnumbered by flying things. No. Keep them close to stab anything that comes near you, honey, don’t throw them into the darkness. But Kaz saving his Crows was beautiful)

Also, to go back to Inej and Alina, just a little. How much do I love that Inej’s knife saved them all? Inej kissed her knife and planted in the Darkling’s chest, and it did fuck all to him, but then it’s the knife Alina used to take her freedom back and save them all

Inej’s knife freed Alina. Gave a slave her freedom back. Gave her saint her power. Not by killing, but as a tool to break a chain. I can’t. I really, really can’t. Whoever wrote that episode, thank you a lot

You may have guessed, I have feelings about Inej, and Alina, and Kaz, and freedom, and faith, faith in another power and faith in yourself and those you trust, and it’s all tied up in a knife and a debt, and people offering freedom to each other against their own best interests, and I really can’t with them. I can’t. I’m inarticulate over here

Like, this beautiful man did this hideous thing, made this horrible vicious collar, and then all these scared, battered little outcasts and ex-slaves and current slaves gave each other tiny moment after tiny moment after tiny moment that allowed them all to free each other

I can’t

And then Alina gave Inej her knife. The little letter opener that she’d robbed from the Little Palace. The little symbol of two tiny orphans having each other’s backs against the world. Alina gave that back to Inej

Inej’s knives are a whole thing. Kaz gave Inej a job, a way out of slavery, and it’s both joy and horror to her, freedom and damnation, she doesn’t want to kill people but that’s what knives are for, and it’s a freedom she sometimes forces herself to surrender out of trust in Kaz, and then she does kill people, but it’s to save those she cares for, to save Kaz, and then her knife saves them all as a key, not a murder weapon, and Alina, for whom knives are also a symbol of protection, for herself and those she loves, and now freedom as well, gives Inej hers as this tiny gesture that means so much …

And earlier, Kaz stopping her from killing the Conductor, and it was for his own reasons, it was because he needed the man for a job, but the fact that he did that meant that Inej’s first kill wasn’t a murder, an assassination to save herself, but a clean kill in defense of someone else. A kill she could explain to her saints. Especially the one that showed up, because Alina knows all about that

(And when her knives run out, when she’s lost them all on the skiff and is facing death, it’s Kaz who saves her, who pays his debt and preserves her freedom, because he can be trusted with them, with the knives and all they mean …)

And the two things Alina gives them. The knife for Inej, and the jewels for Kaz. A gift for the woman who saved her, and a bribe for the man who threatened her. And it’s exactly what they need. Both of them. It’s freedom and forgiveness and hope for them both. And she had no idea, she just gave what she had at the time. A saint by pure accident, like she’s been all along, but it meant the world. Sometimes all a person needs is one thing. A knife, a chance. A hope

Whoever was writing the thing with the knives, and the saints, and faith in yourself and those around you, you are a genius and I love you

And, like, I should move on. There were other things in the show. Nina and Matthias, I’ve pretty much not mentioned them at all (they are adorable, even as they’re basically Stockholming each other, and then the last episode hit, and everything was good, more or less, for everyone else, so that last fucking punch was a lot, thank you so much), I just …

Knives and faith. Inej, Alina and Kaz. I love everybody, but that was so much the thing that caught me here. That’s what I’m mostly getting out of this show right now

[jamespotterthefirst]

Five Birthdays (Ethan x f!MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2.4K Warning: Implied adult situations  Premise: Ethan’s birthdays with her in the next five years. 

Author’s Note: A birthday fic that I wrote a while ago and wanted to post on my birthday. Dedicated to @perriewinklenerdie , @scorpiochick8 , and all the beautiful Scorpios out there. November babies, this is for you too! Thank you @aestheticartsx​ for reading through this mess! Hope you like it. 

Year One 

A soft knock pulled Ethan away from his latest patient chart. Interruptions were always a source of irritation but tonight he almost welcomed it. His body ached with exhaustion and his eyelids were heavy after the sixteen hour day. 

The door opened to reveal Dr. Allende, looking uncharacteristically bashful as she entered, hands behind her back. 

“What can I do for you?” he asked, his attention falling quickly to the chart. This he only did as an excuse to glance away because she was biting her bottom lip the way she did when nervous. It was a quirk that always drove him to distraction. 

She said nothing as she approached, and Ethan could see in his peripheral that she did so cautiously. After a small pause, she set a tall to-go cup of coffee on the desk in front of him, successfully getting his attention. 

“I brought you coffee,” she said by way of explanation. She opened her mouth to say more, but closed it immediately, looking uncharacteristically flustered and even a little anxious. She tried again, “The Vienna. From the coffee house you took me to a few weeks ago.”

Ethan removed his spectacles, staring at the cup. “I can see that. Though I commend you on the choice, I am still uncertain why you went through the trouble.”

The pretty intern flushed, looking prettier still, much to Ethan's frustration. 

“I didn't know what else you liked. And I wanted to get you something.” 

Ethan's confusion lasted only a second before realization sunk in. His stomach dropped and he all but groaned. For some reason, this seemed to ease some of her tension. She even looked a tad bit amused. 

“Who told you?” 

“Dr. Banerji,” she responded, not surprising Ethan in the least. “He let it slip while I was drawing blood for that full work up you ordered.”

Ethan huffed, sincerely doubting the old man had let the detail slip accidentally. 

“Happy birthday,” she added and this time, the amusement was undeniable in her voice. 

“You can't tell anyone,” he implored, feeling his face grow hotter by the second. He shuddered to think of the fuss people in the hospital would make if they knew, particularly the nursing staff. “I've worked too hard these past years to keep that a secret. Trust me, it's not an easy feat when Marlene is in charge of the birthday board.”

Lilac laughed, the sound so pleasant he almost forgot to be mortified. “Imagine the parties they'd throw in your honor, Dr. Ramsey. I don't think I can rob everyone of such a good time.” 

“Lilac.”

More laughter. “I won't tell a soul,” she said solemnly. Ethan was still unconvinced and she rolled her eyes. “Just drink your coffee, Ron Swanson.”

___________________________________

Year Two 

Lilac glanced around with interest, pressing her clipboard tightly against her chest. Ethan almost snorted at her feigned attempt to seem invested. There was nothing particularly interesting about the supply closet they both occupied. 

“Interesting choice, Doctor,” she commented anyway, sounding thoroughly amused. 

“I didn't think you'd mind meeting here,” he returned, feeling emboldened enough to flirt with the pretty young resident before him. He had already pulled her into a supply closet with the enthusiasm of an intern. Ethan might as well enjoy the full thrill of breaking the rules. “If you have moral qualms, however, just say the word and we can both go back to work.”

Lilac proved she had no complaints by closing the already small space between them and kissing him fully. The clipboard clattered to the floor as her hands slid up his shoulders and clung around his neck. Ethan responded in kind, his hands settling on the dip of her waist, his lips eagerly moving against hers. 

She hissed a little as their kiss went from passionate to desperate, hands, lips, and teeth tugging at one another. These days, it only took a matter of seconds to reach that level, both growing needier by the day.

“I didn't take you for the type to make out in a supply closet,” she said breathlessly when they finally pulled apart. 

“Honestly? The idea seemed juvenile until I started making out with you.” He gave her a half smile that made her eyes linger on his lips. “I've been thinking of nothing else ever since we broke into Mass Kenmore.”

Ever since that event, he'd had several detailed fantasies that included Lilac in a supply closet with him, but he decided not to disclose them as the majority were irrefutably not safe for work. Then again, the way she pressed her body flush against his, her rosy lips trailing kisses along his jaw, was anything but appropriate for the workplace. 

“Whatever the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets.” 

Ethan involuntarily shuddered at the word birthday, which in turn made her pull away in laughter. 

“No one is going to hear us here. You picked the supply closet in a construction zone that no one is allowed to be in.”

She was taunting him but Ethan didn't mind. If anything, he concluded that two could play at the game. With a devilish, lopsided smile that caught her attention again he said in a dangerous, low whisper, “I just thought you'd want to scream my name without the whole hospital hearing you.”

The surprised look that turned lustful in seconds sent a thrill of satisfaction through Ethan. He claimed her lips again without restraint, successfully opening the buttons of her blouse before him. There was no time to admire the black lace that left little to the imagination, when his pager demanded his attention. 

He groaned but fixed his clothes and hair at once. When he was presentable once again, Ethan paused to give her one last, longing look. A familiar, mournful feeling settled in his stomach as another clandestine encounter came to an end. 

Her responding smile was understanding, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking. At this point, he was certain that she did. 

“Happy birthday,” she murmured, lifting herself to press a sweet, tender kiss to his cheek. 

Not for the first time, he wished for nothing more than to be able to kiss her whenever, however he wanted, no matter who saw. 

___________________________________

Year Three

Ethan pressed her against the wall, escalating their usual goodbye kiss after a long day at the hospital. Though a little surprised at first, Lilac quickly recovered and kissed him back just as eagerly. When they broke the kiss for breath, she raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

Ethan shrugged, the pad of his thumb trailing the faint freckles on her cheeks. The truth was now that he could finally kiss her without needing a reason to and without caring who was around, he couldn't seem to stop. 

In this particular instance, it was Naveen who entered the office, clearing his throat meaningfully. They didn't spring apart from one another as they used to, pretending (rather poorly) that they were only colleagues. Instead, they remained in each other's arms as they looked at the Chief. The older man did not seem to mind one bit for he watched them with a warm, proud smile. 

“Ready for our meeting with the Board, Ethan?” 

“No.” 

Naveen chuckled good-naturedly. “It'll be a short one. I'll make sure of it lest Dr. Allende hates me for making her finance work late on his birthday.”

It did not go unnoticed by everyone that Ethan didn't exactly have a visceral reaction to the word, unlike the past years. Naveen shot him a fatherly smile and Lilac pressed a loving, chaste kiss on his cheek. 

“I'll wait for you at home.” She waited until the Chief was out of the room to whisper in Ethan's ear, “I have a surprise for you.”

The heady promise stole his attention for the rest of the evening, which was a good thing because the meeting was as useless as he had expected. An hour and a half later, he discovered he was right in rushing home to Lilac. 

She was waiting for him in the living, perched on the backrest of the love seat and clad in the shortest silk robe he had ever seen. Her shapely legs were exposed for his viewing pleasure, save for the sheer, black stockings ending with lace at her thighs. The echo of her previous promise adorned everything from her coy smile to the scandalous patch of lace peeking from the neckline of her robe. 

“Took you long enough,” she teased in a breathy sort of voice that had an instant effect on him. 

She hopped off the sofa, walking toward the dining room, hips swaying with each step. On any regular day, the sight would have been enough inspiration to tease her until she begged him to take her on any given surface of their apartment. In her current attire, he wished to pin her against the wall with primal urgency in ten seconds or less. 

“I ordered us food from—” 

 In one quick stride, he spun her around, his mouth devouring hers in a scorching kiss. Lilac matched his passion, her silk-clad body melting deliciously against his, her arms locking around his neck. 

“Happy birthday,” she moaned as he ran his tongue down her neck and into the exposed valley of her breasts. 

Ethan had never been happier. 

Not only because he was currently peeling the flimsy robe off with his teeth, revealing a lacy black number underneath, but also because of the three words that left her lips, as natural and wondrous as the beautiful sunset through the window.

“I love you.”

He could never tire of hearing them. 

___________________________________

Year Four

Ethan awoke to soft, lazy kisses and a curtain of dark hair enveloping them both. When she straightened with a tired smile, he missed the floral scent of her shampoo at once. He groaned in protest and pulled her body against his for another quick kiss, cutting the small shriek of surprise short. 

“Good morning,” he greeted between slow, delicious sips of her mouth. 

“Good morning indeed,” she sighed in return. At last, when they fully pulled apart, she picked up a tray from the nightstand and set it on his lap. “Happy birthday! I made you pancakes. ” 

He took in the pretty array before him, complete with coffee and a small vase of red carnations. Ethan flashed her a grateful grin, not missing the dark circles under her eyes or the exhausted sigh that escaped her as her head sank into the pillows. 

“Is that what was burning earlier?” 

Lilac laughed dryly, eyes shut. “Laugh all you want, Ramsey, but at least I can actually make them.” 

“Touché.”

He savored her offerings in silence, admiring how her cooking had improved dramatically in her years with him. Lilac continued to rest against the pillows, looking so blissful, he couldn't help but smile. Within minutes, her muscles relaxed and her breathing became more even as she drifted into sleep. 

The crackle of the speaker on their bedside startled her awake. If that hadn't done it, then the wailing that soon followed would have done it. “He's awake,” she mumbled, already moving to sit up. 

Ethan placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, easing her back into the pillows. “I'll go.”

His son's crying subsided as soon as Ethan scooped him up and swayed him gently. He grinned down at his three-month-old, unable to contain the warm pride expanding in his chest.

“Good morning. You're up early after keeping us up for most of the night,” he murmured, kissing his tiny forehead. Ethan would give up all his hours of sleep if it meant holding his perfect son in his arms. 

By the time they returned to the bedroom, Lilac was sound asleep, face buried unceremoniously  in the pillows. Ethan smiled fondly at his wife, making a mental note to lovingly tease her about the snoring later. Quietly, he settled in bed next to her, carefully setting Jonah facedown on his chest. 

Lilac mumbled something incomprehensible, sleepily burrowing into his arm. Jonah, meanwhile, drifted off into an easy sleep against his father's chest. Ethan smiled broadly, the gesture coming much more naturally than in past years, as he enjoyed a quiet morning with his perfect little family. 

___________________________________

Year Five

“Happy birthday!” his wife exclaimed. Ethan wasn't sure what his toddler son had shrieked out. All he knew was that he matched his mother's enthusiasm as they presented the small, thickly frosted cake on the counter. 

Ethan raised his brows at the creation before him. “You two made this just for me?”

Lilac beamed. “Yep, just Jonah and I.”

The slight pitch in her voice made Ethan chuckle. “I find that hard to believe. One of you barely has the fine motor skills needed to operate in a kitchen.”

“Cachen!” Jonah exclaimed, claiming his father's attention. Ethan bent down and kissed the top of his head. 

“And the other is a one year old toddler,” Ethan finished, earning him an adorable glare from his wife. 

“You think you're so funny, Ramsey.”

“I know I am, Allende.”

“That’s Allende-Ramsey to you.” Without warning, she scooped up a dollop of frosting and smeared it on Ethan's mouth. 

Unfazed, Ethan licked off the excess before pulling her into a kiss. Lilac laughed against his sugar coated lips while Jonah shrieked with happiness, forcing them to pull apart. 

“Either way, thank you for making this for me,” he said, gesturing toward the now marred cake. 

“Antsina!” 

Ethan glanced at his son curiously. “What is he saying?”

Lilac, meanwhile, shook her head comically at their son. 

“Ant sina!” the baby repeated, his short arms outstretched towards the cake. 

“Aunt Sienna?” Ethan guessed with a small laugh, looking at his wife. “Sienna helped you with this, didn’t she?” 

Lilac seemed abashed, looking as though she had half a mind to deny it. Her shoulders dropped in defeat, however, and with a small laugh she said, “I didn’t think my baby would give me away, but yes.” At her husband’s smug smile, she added, “But Jonah and I helped! Jonah tasted the frosting and I helped with the batter.”

Her smile turned sheepish as she thought of something and added, “Actually, your daughter may have helped with that too. This makes for the perfect bowl stand.” Her hands lovingly caressed her very pregnant belly. 

Ethan leaned in to kiss it and Jonah, always mimicking his father, leaned in to do the same. Both parents laughed, kissing their son in turn. 

“Make a wish,” Lilac instructed as she lit the candles. 

A knot formed in his throat as Ethan considered there was no need for that. In the past five years, he had been fortunate enough to find everything he could ever want.

___________________________________

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! I love you all <3

Also, I have hit a major writer’s block when concerning Part 2 of the Miami chapter in the Picta series. Slowly but surely, I am getting there. Thank you for being so patient! 

Finally, if you asked me to add you to the tag list and I haven’t, please message me. I am so disorganized and forgetful. I’m so sorry!

___________________________________

tags: @openheart12 , @takeharryandgo​ , @trappedinfanfiction​, @aestheticartsx​, @aworldoffandoms​, @paulfwesley​, @myusualnerdyself​,  @rookie-ramsey​, @ohchoices​, @colossalpainintheass​, @enmchoices​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​, @choicesfanaf​, @openheartthot​, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe​, @utterlyinevitable​, @kites-in-our-skies​, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, @choicesstan1​, @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​, @nikki-2406​, @lilypills​, @chasingrobbie​, @nooruleman​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​, @ruinedbypixels​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​, @tsrookie​, @mvalentine​, @professorkingslay​, @drakewalkerfantasy​, @casey-v​, @helloblueeyedcat​, @mysticaurathings​, @blossomanarchy​, @thegreentwin​, @togetherwearerapture​, @rookieoh​, @ramseysno1rookie, @rookiemarsswiftie​, @natashajaniphil​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​, @hatescapsicum​, @choices-lurker​, @kiara-36​, @junehiratas​, @danijimenezv​, @macy-ray85​, @adrex04​, @canigetanawwjunk​, @sanchita012​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​ , @scorpiochick8​, @skylarklyon​, @starrystarrytrouble​, @mercury84choices​, @drariellevalentine​, @ethanrcmsey​, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost​, @kaavyaethanramsey​ , @udishaman​, @a-crepusculo​, @quacksonlover​,

[momenacesage]

your love has bloomed the garden in my mind

today i offer you this drabble, tomorrow,, who knows!

When Sol opens her eyes, she finds herself placated by the intense stare of the other that she held nestled in the rapture of her arms. Awaking in the darkness, the slow trickle of street lamps and drunken fellows stumbling to make their way home caresses the slightly open window frame. The side effects of a bustling night life are going generally unnoticed by the frozen girl. She feels like she’s stuck in quick sand - slowly being dragged down as she falls deeper and deeper into her best friends eyes. She let out a slow breath, trying to remind herself that this was still possible, she was still alive. Even as the girl beside her chose to tear out the breath from her lungs with metaphorical teeth. Looking up to her, half drunk still. It was the only reason that Sol could give to justify Jiwan’s flushed cheeks. Maybe she was drunk too. Finger weaving out of the press that had formed through their bodies. Choosing to settle into the warmth; pressing across the lines of the others face. They’d remain in silence. Simply drinking in the actions, the comfortable movements that settle matches into the pit of her stomach. Threatening to explode with the click of a finger - or if Jiwan would choose to look at her that way again. She’d promised herself that she would stop playing into this game. The feeling would initially bowl her over her own feet. Feeling like she was thrown upwards, tossed to fall on her head - out of control of the situation. Theres a very special smile that her best friend throws out when she’s absolutely ecstatic about something. These days, it seems like Sol is the only one who finds themselves on the receiving end of those looks. It first happened when they both gained entrance to their current school. Jiwan would take her hand, ready to dance, do something, scream at the top of her lungs with excitement. Instead, it would slowly crawl across her face as if she know exactly what she was doing. Seo Jiwan was an enchantress. It was confirmed. She’d flee from her friend, ready to phone her parents to share the happy news. But Sol would be stuck, frozen in the same position to when she first saw that smile. She’d been ran ragged; ready to admit that she’d experienced a heart attack, why was her heart feeling like that. Her heart was ready to jump out of her chest and run straight after the young woman. For a second or two, as she lay beside the one person who often took centre stage in her best dreams - Sol would forget why she chose to force those feelings into the dark. She’d let herself fall a few feet deeper into eternity. Sol had been good, she’d been great in fact. Maybe she was allowed to make a mistake or two, maybe that look in Jiwan’s eyes was familiar for a reason, maybe she was feeling something that Sol had gained plenty of experience in. “Why didn’t you let me kiss you?” The words spring a visceral reaction and Sol has to force herself to stop from allowing her eyes to widen further. She was surprised, shocked, even though this had been the only thought that had played on her mind throughout the whole night. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured, they were all watching.” Sol feels the pressure of her smaller arms wrap around her shoulders, curving her spine up from the bed so that Jiwan could awkwardly tuck her head against her own. It felt secretive, as if these coming words were only for them. Sending internal middle fingers to whoever may be listening in on their late night discussion. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.” She’ll sag, like the woman had unconsciously built up tension through what felt like a century of pining. Of looking but not touching, that wasn’t allowed. Instead, she’d find herself sitting complacent - monotonous as she tries to build up a mask of happiness as Jiwan left to meet man after man. That evil, little inner voice whispering coyly into her ear, reminding her that she would never have that. So instead, this would have to be enough. “I still want to kiss you.” She’s taken charge, manipulating Sol’s body like a doll who enjoys

playtime. She’s loose, malleable to whatever Jiwan wants of her. She silently waits, still unsure if this was real or some cruel game that her brain was playing on her. Seo Jiwan looks determined. And in a sense, this puts Sol’s mind at ease. Her tongue darting out to press more moisture onto her lips after they suddenly dried. Seemingly, she was not the only person who had come across this specific scenario before. Sol would force herself away from the questions that turned into darts when attempting to penetrate her brain. Sharp and painful in their nature as they niggle at the calmness of the situation. She was allowed to be in the moment for once. She didn’t have to constantly overthink everything. The woman wasnt forced to make a decision after all. The multitudes of spider webs permeating Sol’s brain would scatter into nothingness with the touch of Jiwan’s hand on her cheek. Her eyes quickly redirecting to hers as Jiwan chuckles to herself, slowly dragging their lips together like she was trying to approach a deer in headlights. It just fits. The only phrase that floats into existence through the blank slate that had been created. Jiwan’s hands become needier, cradling her jaw like it was some precious new discovery that could crack with the slightest accidental movement. Before this point, Sol felt like if she touched her best friend - the woman would shrivel into dust. Just another fragment of her imagination; but this was different. Sol will wrestle her hands up to the backs of the. Others shoulders clenching fingers into the fabric of her shirt as she falls deeper still. Unbashfully, she’ll groan into the other young woman’s mouth. Greedy as her sensations light up like a sparkler in the dark - unconsciously noting down the way that Jiwan’s leg tangles against her own. Staying connected in this way even when they break away, and the woman tucks away a fly away hair behind Sol’s ear. This time, she’ll join in. Her grin feels like its trying to split open the sides of her head. Opening it wide so that a tiny Seo Jiwan clone can climb inside. It’s as if Seo Jiwan hasn’t already been the only thing she thinks about. When she tucks her best friend back into the crook of her arm, Jiwan will whisper, her words falling like petals against her ear lobe. “Will you let me kiss you again?” “Definitely.” In the morning, Sol will be subjected to weekly critiques. Their professor surveying the work, placing a finger against pursed lips to fully understand the majesty of the wide painting. It was a different medium to the one that the young woman usually favoured. Justifying the sudden shift as an initial visualisation - she was planning. A sculpture would come along soon. “It’s spray of colours are full of passion. The large strokes remind me of love,” she’d turn, “am I correct? Were you thinking about someone that you love when painting, Sol?” Sol would allow her eyes to trail away; Jiwan encompassing the corner of her vision. “Yes. Something like that.”

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 15 reactions; *nobby nobbs voice* ‘s all gone a bit percychological, sir

 - so from both chapter 6 and now this: rick famuyiwa is incredible at portraying prolonged discomfort and tension (and also at getting din’s endless love for that baby across through the stress of being separated from him. this is the very first episode with no baby in it at all, isn’t it? wow that’s a heartbreaking milestone to reach im crying)

I liked this episode SO MUCH but I had to pause it pretty often and take a breather because it all made me so viscerally uncomfortable on din’s behalf -- not just the armour and having to take the helmet off and be seen for the (almost, ilu IG-11) first time in decades, people keep touching him in this episode when he clearly doesn’t want them to but can’t stop it and it makes me want to claw my own skin off in sympathy, it’s so awful. that’s really neat film making to manage to keep that tension steady almost all the way through!!! 

honestly this episode felt a little bit like psychological horror, with the cheering storm troopers and din in the wrong armour and clearly not digging it and there’s the palpable absence of baby and that ever present dread of being Perceived when you’re not ready for it; everything’s turned upside down from how it should be. and it’s playing with that discomfort both in the main character and in us, the audience, in having the familiar be made unfamiliar and also introducing these questions that shake up everything (that feeling you get of ‘but... if it’s not the helmet, and not the armour, but there’s his face, but we’ve only seen that face once before so it’s still basically new to us, is this... is this still him. is this still Dad’ (oooh I wonder if we’re... sort of getting some of the ??? the baby would be feeling about it too?) we’ve all imprinted on that t-shaped visor like little baby birds, and this was a very clever episode to break us out of that and start to really get used to the thought of him having several faces that are real simultaneously, in a way, and not just a voice. it’s all very smart and interesting and I’m sure I’ll have a lot of incoherent thoughts about this in the weeks to come lol)    

- the actual reason din can’t take off the helmet is that if people were able to see his wide confused puppy eyes they would no longer find it in themselves to send him on long arduous side missions and would help him immediately just so he’d feel better, and that would rob us of like 80% of the content for this show 

mayfeld in this episode: clearly a casualty of this. he literally sees one glimpse of the vulnerability there and then within five seconds goes on to materialize a few redeeming character traits after being a complete jackass for an episode and a half. (I mean. he was 100% still an imperial so I’m a bit ‘hm.’ about how easily especially cara let him off the hook, but with the way it was set up I guess it would have been quite shitty of them to just throw him back in prison so I mean I GUESS. I would be endlessly grateful someone got my awkward bff out of there alive and well too I suppose)

- I actually think din’s sense/integrity of self has gotten so much stronger and more resilient (though probably still quite fragile pls handle with care precious cargo within); if this had happened in the first season I think it might honestly just have killed him (and if it weren’t for IG-11 it probably would have lol)

- can you beLIEVE din is so bad at lying that they literally should plan for contingencies over it fjkasdlhfskajdhfsdj     

- very grateful for the scene with the spear throw that’s basically there to reassure us ‘uh-huh, he absolutely knows how to use it, don’t worry about that part at least’

I want to make a whole post about that fight scene, though, it’s just so GOOD! there’s so much storytelling and characterization in it! even out of the armour din has some real hand to hand MOVES!! he clearly came out of that aching all over, he can barely get back in his seat!!!

- so what I’m mainly taking away from this is that din absolutely cuts his own hair and you know what? he does a good job considering the conditions he has to work under, I love him  

I still find it so goddamn darling that he meticulously maintains that little mustache/stubble combo under there even when there’s every reason to believe no one will ever see it 

I suppose we can also gather that he did not ask cobb about whatever insane feat of magic he’s come up with to avoid helmet hair, but I don’t care looking a bit frazzled and tousled is exactly right for him (he’s so put together when he’s in the armour and a MESS when he’s out of it and I  l o v e  it) 

- boba fett is honestly so fucking hot in this I don’t know what to do with myself haha. he’s so CALM and CALCULATED and COLLECTED in his newly painted armour and he’s GOT THIS and he made that ‘I’ve got one of those faces. one of jango’s many, many, many faces’ joke and he’s so thicc now, he looks like he could easily lift me over his head with one hand and he’s just quietly steady and undramatically supportive and sdalfhsdjhfsa 

- ...din does know who the clone troopers were, right. I mean of course he does. he has to. but does he though. I’m sure he does and just wasn’t thinking. 

- no matter how stressful it was I’m still really grateful that in the end taking the helmet off was something din got to do himself -- it’s under some duress, but it’s still his choice and for the sake of the baby, and almost in two more manageable steps between putting on the storm trooper gear for a different helmet before taking it off altogether. it’s not something done to him by gideon, for example, that would be. so much yuckier and worse. he still has that control and agency intact, even if it’s been tested really hard, and now gideon doing that doesn’t hold the exact same nightmarish power anymore because there’s already a little space opened in din’s mind for different things it can mean, if you see what I mean. I’m not sure I see what I mean actually I just have a lot of feelings haha. so I guess thank you mayfeld for being decent about it and helping him towards that realization that he can still be himself outside these really really inflexible structures he’s set up around himself for like. stability and keeping himself upright for a really long time, and that even someone halfway decent won’t disrespect the boundaries he still has about it at any given moment. man there’s a lot in this episode isn’t there

- the sigh din gave when he saw even more pirates coming and knew he had to get back up... never has a single moment in cinema better captured how I feel about being alive. most relatable man in the world din djarin

- it was really cruel of them to make me listen to din’s dead bleak voice say ‘the child is gone’ again, it wrecks my heart every goddamn time 

- again... I wish carano wasn’t Like That in real life because the cara & fennec scenes should have been everything I could ever dream. ah well fennec was still wonderful and if I just allow myself to think in-universe for a few seconds it was really touching that din would entrust cara with his entire armour, that’s some prime BrOTP energy right there

I love that we got two female characters who were just allies and working together, no competition or nothin’. listen the bar is low but it’s nice to see something actually leap gracefully over it as well lol

- this was one of those with some pretty big open plot holes (why, exactly, would a scan of a completely unknown face be helpful to get into this classified system lol), but a) I don’t care, the emotional storyline was so sound it doesn’t really matter and b) eh handwave handwave let’s say mayfeld programmed that little stick with the good shit and overrode the code saying there needed to be an identity match within the system, it’s all fine 

- I know I joke a lot about this but din really is one of the most relatable characters I’ve ever had. just watching him struggle with eye contact and going pretty much nonverbal under enough stress is like. wow a bit close to home there could we, perhaps, nOT?? (honestly though these are trauma/anxiety things I really don’t see portrayed a lot, especially in protagonists, it’s so odd but healing to see it in a character I love and who’s EXTREMELY competent in many other settings)

- din repeating gideon’s speech back to him word for word (except for the crucial detail that he calls grogu ‘him’ instead of ‘it’ 😭😭😭) and saying nothing else is truly Everything. I’ve said some stuff about din’s deliberate and thoughtful relationship to language in the past and this is such an amazing example of it; he’s remembered that pitch perfect all this time, he’s kept it around in his head and mulled it over and then redeployed it to change the meaning of it completely from dehumanization to love. can you. can you even imagine. and it’s yet another example of his hilarious wonderful petty streak and I can never get enough of it fasjhdfkjalhs    

- din always noticing the children first and foremost Y_______Y (the kids running by is the only thing you see him sort of acknowledge when he’s walking into the covert in season 1 too)  

- please... please I just need him to be able to hold that baby against his chest all safe and sound and okay again I can’t it’s........ hh

NO SEASON END CLIFF HANGER ON THIS I AM  B E G G I N G  YOU 

- I would be having some thoughts about how much space there actually is on slave 1 and what that might mean (do not kill boba again please don’t kill him again), but honestly there’s only ‘GET BABY’ hours in here now, I can’t speculate about anything

[whumpofalltime]

WHUMP OF ALL TIME: Quarterfinals are here!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!

Once Upon A Time:

(gifset 1, gifset 2)

"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump

"

All the respect to the Hawaii 5 0 one scene because I haven't watched it and can't judge it, but. Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.

Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".

But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?

The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.

Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?

Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist

Buffy:

(gifset 1, gifset 2, YT clip, YT clip #2, YT clip #3) thanks to @iamthegodofhalefire for the links!

"It was my first whump and it’s never been beaten! He’s kidnapped, tied up, mandhandled, gagged, thrown on the floor, slapped, tied up differently, tortured with holy water, then is exhausted and woozy from it all - then gets tied up somewhere else and stabbed through the hand to drain his energy. Then collapses at the end! It’s SO good!"

"Angel is kidnapped to give his blood to Drusilla in a ritual to make her better - she’s sick and was turned into a vampire by Angelus (Angel’s evil alter ego) many years ago. He killed her family as part of turning her and she went insane because of it. As Angel is a vampire too, holy water burns him, so she tortured him by pouring this over his skin even 😬 he’s then stabbed through the hand in the ritual and is rescued and collapses to the floor. Amongst other things!"

~ @Iamthegodofhalefire

[thepeachgreentea]

this got Real Long Real Quick...

I wanna know more about Luka's soul song gift - like how much do emotions or personality play into it? ((I’m going with a lot)) Does it only work in person?? Or can he get like snippets from videos or vibes from pictures? Like it would make sense if it was only in person...... But where's the fun I'm that? Realistically it wouldn't be as strong as in person but I could see him getting some stuff. Pictures it probably wouldn't be a lot, or even much of anything, unless the soul song really didn't match the picture...

Which means Luka is one of the first people to realize something is Up with Adrien (and the Agrestes in general)

The ads around the city never felt right, never matched up with the snippets/vibes he was able to get - unless Adrien was supposed to be sad or melancholy. Which is... yikes...

Then the Adrien The Fragrance commercial happens. And that's an additional big Fucking Yikes

Like I can only imagine that Adrien isn't particularly big on modelling in general from what we've seen (with the Marinette-exception) so the filming of that could have only been Worse than normal. How many times did it take to get the emotions at the ‘right’ level? How long did it take to get the angles and all the action done?

Anyway: after the first time Luka literally cannot stomach watching it or even listening to it because it is so Wrong. The soul song snippets from the video are longer and more intense and it is just so discordant that Luka can't deal

Adrien is most certainly NOT feeling carefree. Or radiant. Or remotely dreamy. He's goddamn exhausted, frustrated, resigned, depressed, sweaty, anxious, awkward, stressed. It is a whole stew of (teen) angst offset with that upbeat music and the bright blue sky & all that w h i t e and the jumping for joy

It is such a strong dichotomy Luka has a visceral reaction every time and has to either leave the room or mute it and look away,

All of that means that after he meets Adrien in person, and gets to hear his soul song in a couple different situations and can see his emotions matching internally and externally he basically tells him they will always have space for him on the Liberty. (Also the first time he saw the LB + CN movie and heard Adrien's voice acting he only picked up some nerves - easily attributed to a new situation rather than a secret identity - but he was clearly enjoying himself even if it was a terrible script)

Therefore, Luka doesn't have particularly good feelings towards Gabriel, even before seeing any videos of him.

Style Queen was a Time. He was happy for Adrien but the bits he was getting from Gabriel were so rigid and tight... And rather selfish to boot. Which was weird given the situation

He has to try very very hard to not sneer or snarl at the tablet he first "meets" him on - probably at a Kitty Section practice or concert or at some class + family event.

I can also v easily picture him meeting him in person and being super uncomfortable at the sheer amount of manipulation and self-aggrandizing, selfishness, etc that rolls off of Gabriel, basically choking out his soul song. Either Lula barely refrains from punching Gabriel and manages to shake his hand but then desperately needs to clean his hands. Orrrr he does punch him and then basically coats his hands in sanitizer (either way he is Nino’s absolute favorite person for this alone)

Also, this would not be the first time Luka has figured out an abusive situation. It has happened with both his own and Juleka's friends & classmates. He is v much a protective older brother at heart

And because I damn well can have some Lila salt, some of which has been touched on before, unlike with Gabriel:

He had heard about her from Juleka and Kitty Section and was a bit confused about it but it wasn't until Rose was over and the girls were telling him about some of Lila's stories that he saw a picture of her.

And that was The Strongest he had ever reacted to a picture before: instant chills up his spine and an actual hiss escaped him

All 3 of them are shocked. Luka then has to explain that reaction as best as he can. Which is hard when you aren't great at words and while the soul song fragments are rather clear he would never make his guitar suffer trying to recreate them.

He manages tho and Julerose are at least wary of her afterwards. They start observing her more and a lot of her behavior and the way she talks can be very off-putting. They start noticing some of the digs that she makes at others, that she contradicts herself 5 different ways, and how she is constantly bringing the attention back to herself.

During all this they start noticing how both Marinette and Adrien react to her and it is Not Good. Mari gets defensive and will often try to bring up those contradictions that they started noticing. But jealousy is only a minor factor, at most. In certain situations it is possible that it could be involved... except those only happen when Adrien is looking very uncomfortable and Marinette notices or they make eye contact and then Marinette creates an opportunity for him to escape

Which is something that no one else is noticing which is really terrible and unhealthy...

Around this time is when Ivan has started to figure out something is up. and then he definitely knows when Julerose show Luka a video at a private band practice.

Because video and in person interactions make the BadBadBAD feelings worse and Ivan, while he often struggles with understanding & expressing emotions, has definitely noticed Lila - even though she is not actually there - causes a lot of stress and anxiety to Luka and he has gotten really good at methods of lessening those.

So, Luka sees the video with/of Lila and has an even stronger reaction than the picture before. His eyes get huge, and his face pales (gets slightly sickly?), and he hisses even stronger than the first time

He refuses to try to play her soul song because something like that is nearly impossible to recreate but also doesn’t need to be put out into the world but does his best to try and describe it

Possible: her soul song feels like it is drowning in toxic sludge - there is just so much negativeness that it is barely intelligible. It is being smothered by self-satisfaction and importance, narcissism, aggressive manipulation, pettiness, vile maliciousness, etc

In person interactions are awful. Luka avoids physical interaction as much as possible. Even more than he would with Gabriel, and he wants as little to do with that man as possible, ideally none. But Lila is worse...

There have been multiple times that he has had to step out/away to be able to get some fresh air and breathe again. At least once where he has been or almost has been sick - usually following a hug that he did not consent to or something similar

Ivan is definitely in the fold now, and Julerose share what they have noticed from taking their step back. He realizes he has noticed a lot of those same things but he wasn’t analyzing them and didn’t have the same context for them at the time that Luka, Juleka, and Rose did. But afterwards he picks up on them more clearly, and some other things they hadn’t - benefits of being one of the quiet kids (and a lesser target of Lila’s focus). He is part of the driving force in bringing Marinette and Adrien in first before going to others.

Marinette breaks down because more people believe her?? and support her and Adrien? it is a huge relief of tension. And she didn’t even have to convince them herself!! what a concept... but it is definitely a safe space for her and she can share her own experiences and that certainly is nice

they had all suspected Something was Up but weren’t expecting that so there are lots of hugs and tears and support and mutters of payback 

Adrien eventually cries because Kitty Section + Marinette give him a TedTalk about consent and personal autonomy. And now he has so many people (!!!) telling him he can say no and make his own choices, mistakes, and decisions. (Marinette’s part is largely “I told you so / do you believe us now?” because the Dupain-Chengs have probably already given this same talk as a family but that is just A family’s opinion, others probably think differently) And this is the first time he really truly believes it and... oooof there are a lot of emotions and interactions to unpack and reconsider

but now he knows he really needs to and that he can and should which is new, but so is having an actual support system...

Thus, Luka is ready to fight a bitch the first time he sees Lila and Adrien interacting. There is so much clinging and touching, and Adrien is panicking and no one is doing anything or is being waved off. And (unfortunately) this is one of the things that causes some people to start questioning things about Lila. Because most of them know of Luka as a really chill, laid-back guy who is open and accepting of people. and besides he has no reason to be jealous (((👀👀👀👀 too much to think about and unpack t h e r e))) so why would he be upset about Lila leaning on Adrien and holding his arm??

So, the questioning of Lila and what she says spreads out from Kitty Section and Adrinette to the rest of the class. They take a different approach. They slowly, carefully approach their classmates and take them aside when possible to talk about the situation

This allows them to be able to get their undivided attention and lay out what they have found out in a logical and cohesive manner, rather than attempting something rash or in the heat of the moment. Marinette grumbled about this method initially but when there were actual results and the burden was shared it was a huge relief for her.

In fact, others start coming to them about Lila.

because of the work of Kitty Section and Adrinette Lila’s audience has been steadily decreasing and it is getting easier to notice things. With a smaller audience the focus doesn’t get split as much and there are less questions for her to build off of or go on tangents from and the contradictions start standing out more, or she’s making more to try and keep them around her by holding their interest with different details

Plus, the comments about those outside Her Circle are getting meaner and more frequent. Usually they are still sneaky or underhanded but nowhere near as subtle as they were originally (were they ever, really?) and it is raising suspicions and hackles.

Eventually, Lila is left without an audience because the class has all been brought out of the cloud of manipulation and are working on trust and listening to each other more/better. and on how to not disregard other’s feelings (which is esp important with the high butterfly population in Paris, but is a v good life lesson in general). they are young and will make mistakes and will have to learn from them. but trials, growth, and change are all part of life so it is good for them.

But it essentially all stems from Luka and his ability to hear soul songs and reacting to those songs, or the lack thereof when they are being choked by evil intentions/emotions/actions/what have you

[teeyoomi]

Want (Miya Atsumu x Reader)

Atsumu tongue nation HOW ARE WE DOING.

We have been FED I TELL YOU.

tags: Miya Atsumu

Character is AGED UP. 

Warnings: NSFW (18+)!; face-sitting, face-riding, cunnilingus

Fic inspired by this pic that is also my PFP 😌

You’d been staring at the picture on Instagram for a good 20 minutes already. You’d got the notification as soon as Atsumu posted the image and you were not prepared for what you were about to see by clicking on the notification.

The team had just won a match against the Adlers and in the press conference, the whole team had taken a picture doing the Jackal claws and roar.

You weren’t prepared for Atsumu to look so... hot. Clearly, he’s gorgeous, and you’ve been dating him for years now, but the picture elicited a visceral reaction from you and you needed him NOW.

The problem was, he wouldn’t be home for at least another 30 minutes. You felt feral as you paced around the house, tidying up the already spotless home so you wouldn’t pull your hair out in frustration.

When you finally FINALLY heard the lock click open, you stalked over to the door just as Atsumu stepped inside.

He was on the phone with someone but as soon as he saw the heat and look in your eyes, he gulped audibly. “I have to go. Now.” He told the person on the other line, not even waiting for a response as he hung up, dropping his belongings in the doorway.

Your face is already flushed as you pounce on him, wrapping your legs around his waist. He catches you easily, both hands grabbing a handful of your ass.

You meet him in a heated kiss that he returns tenfold, pulling your lip between his teeth and shoving his tongue in your mouth.

He fumbles his way to the bedroom, distracted by the way you’re sucking his tongue into your mouth. It makes his knees weak.

He falls onto the bed with you, gasping as you quickly flip him over and take control. You slide your fingers under his shirt, raking your nails across his abs before grasping the hem of his shirt and yanking it up and off of him, tossing it across the room.

He’s staring at you wide-eyed, impressed and aroused at how desperate you are. His cock strains painfully against his zipper, his pupils blown black watching as you stand and pull your pants and underwear off in one swoop, swiftly removing your shirt too.

His hands are greedy as you crawl back over him, palming at every inch of skin, unsure which area he wants to focus on first.

“I want to sit on your face,” you pant against his mouth.

“Fuck yes, darlin’, c’mere.” He helps you shift so your knees straddle his head, wrapping his arms around your thighs and pulling you down to meet his waiting mouth.

You both groan at the sensation of his tongue meeting your wet core. As worked up as you were, you’re thankful that Atsumu loves eating pussy. It’s a spiritual experience every time his tongue slides along your cunt, dipping in to fuck your hole and swirling around your clit.

He indulged in your essence, greedily lapping it up and sucking your clit into his mouth. The lewd sounds from his mouth causing more slick to seep out as you ground against the broad expanse of his tongue.

“I fucking love your mouth, ‘Tsumu,” you gasped. His answering moan vibrated against your clit, your hips stuttering in response.

“Gonna cum, fuck yes-“ you announce and Atsumu doubles his efforts, spreading your thighs further and lapping at you wildly, his head shaking aggressively. Your hips grind against him, your clit bumping his nose as he sinks his tongue into your sopping cunt.

Atsumu delivers a harsh slap to your ass that has you tumbling over the edge into the orgasm you’ve been craving. Your thighs clench together, pinning his head between them, and fisting your fingers in his hair to ride out the wave.

Atsumu caresses you through it, slowing his tongue to gently flick your oversensitive clit and flattening it out to lap up your release.

When you’ve calmed, he pries your thighs apart and flips you over, pinning you to the bed. He meets you for a deep kiss, his tongue gliding against yours. You can taste yourself, but you can taste him too as you suck on his tongue.

He breaks the kiss to smirk down at your fucked our expression. “Not that I’m complainin’, sweetheart, but what’s go into ya today?”

Thankfully, your face is already flushed so he doesn’t notice the embarrassment of a blush. You mumble an incoherent answer, trying to avoid the question and pull him back in to kiss you again.

“Ah, ah, darlin’, answer me,” he chides smugly.

You huff. “That picture you posted earlier. It was hot and it made me crave your tongue,” you admit.

Atsumu laughs heartily. “My sweet girl likes my tongue huh? Maybe I should keep using it on you until you’ve had your fill then,” he replies, giving you a heated look and a wink before his head is nestled between your thighs once more.

WHEW. ONE MIYA ATSUMU PLZZZZ I BEG. 

[marnie1964]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

i'm gonna consider myself tagged

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: an unexpected turn of events but it's passing the quarantine, i guess!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:  to be completely honest, i don't really like the movies? i didn't vibe with them as a kid and when i went back and tried to watch them this year i couldn't make it all the way through.* i think they're well crafted movies, but i've never liked relatable young boy wish fulfillment (i couldn't even get thru harry potter as a kid), and i think the first one is guilty of burying the lede twice over with regards to mr. miyagi and later the relationship between kreese and johnny. and lucky me--these are exactly the areas that cobra kai delivers on.

*except for the third one, which imo is a camp masterpiece and also genuinely heartbreaking. it's the only one that allows daniel to be an genuine pain in the ass. i think i've finally figured out what the target audience for cobra kai is: people who's favorite karate kid movie was tkk3 (me).

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: johnny! what is a man but a miserable pile of bruce springsteen lyrics? or aimee mann lyrics? or mountain goats lyrics? or otis redding lyrics? or--fuck, have americans ever written songs about anyone else? i have an unreal amount of good will towards this man and his late-life struggle for recuperation. he's the heart of the show both in terms of his relationships with other characters and in terms of zabka's chemistry with the other actors.

my deep dark double secret fave is kreese. he makes me feel real anger in a way that's usually reserved for characters in vince gilligan shows. i'm a bit obsessed with him and his preoccupation with johnny and later johnny's teenaged son (I Have Thoughts). the show does a great job of making what he did to johnny--and all the years and years and years of fallout from that--feel really real, which makes him one of the most viscerally despicable villains i've ever come across . it's unironically among the best portrayals of domestic abuse i've seen, may god have mercy on our souls. the decision to pop out from behind a fucking cardboard cutout of himself to scare daniel in tkk3 was also a hilarious galaxy brain move. aspirational stuff.

also--shout out to daniel-san. the writers really had to work their asses off to make him into a character that appeals to me, and i think they did a great job of it. he's a cringey tool who's capable of displaying a surprising amount of integrity under the right circumstances! he's tom wambsgans! he's pete campbell! he's wonderful i love him!

Favorite ship:  johnny & daniel (what if mysterious skin was a sports comedy??)

Underrated character: the True and Correct answer to this question can only be aisha, although i don't think she was actually underrated by anyone besides the writers. chozen is also lowkey my favorite katate child because c'mon, he had everything (spear fights! ziplines! teen death matches! formfitting disco-era polyester button down shirts worn with gold chains!)

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  uhhhh... the only teen couple that could have been interesting is tory/aisha. they were cute together and their friendship rang true to me. it's that thing where you're the new girl and you're conventionally attractive, but on the inside you know you're a freak so you immediately gravitate towards the most obvious female outsider. i lived it, bay-bey!

i also think there are interesting things to explore with carmen and johnny's relationship. i don't know if the writers are even aware of it (i lean towards no b/c men amirite) but the entire premise of carmen's character is that she chose to live in poverty to protect herself and her son from a bad man with power. she's thereby the exact opposite of johnny's mother, who (at least by his understanding) married hollywood film producer shmarvey shmeinstein to provide her son with a better life. so, there's a lot to unpack in his attraction to her. also they're super hot hur hur i like sexy nurse thing hur hur.

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: i can't look directly at it, but sweep the leg. zabka what the fuck man.

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:  i don't think i've seen anyone mention this one yet, but the football jersey with the sweatpants. it makes him look so small and huggable, i wanna pick him up and set him on my shelf or something.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: bring back ali's lesbian girl gang!!! or else--dutch. he was funny and iconic, i loved his exaggerated offended reaction to everything daniel said or did in tkk. also, i'm tacky so i'm a sucker for aggressively bleach blonde hair. the SCANDALIZED wasp couple standing behind ali and johnny in the spaghetti scene will also do. or terry's secretary (an mvp--i believe the original actress has passed away so in my heart of hearts she's portrayed by j. smith-cameron).

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the whole character development speed run that johnny does from sweep the leg to crying while handing daniel the trophy to getting strangled in the parking lot by his beloved teacher. i'm especially transfixed by that last bit--what's the thought process of a man who decides to publicly execute his teenage student via strangulation? why did none of the many bystanders call the police? johnny is the real kitty genovese, prison for everyone.

from the cobra kai series proper: daniel's decision to greet johnny with a big hug after not seeing him for 35 years and never actually being friends with him (I Have Thoughts), the heinously creepy scene where johnny is repeating the cobra kai mantra for miguel and his entire disposition completely changes (demonic possession shit), and johnny's tiny go-ahead-and-kill-my-abuser nod (his face is so stoney after being so animated at dinner) coupled with daniel's shaky little sign of relief (macchio is really the cutest when he looks scared).

it goes without saying that every johnny & miguel scene lives rent free in my HEART.

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: anthony becomes relevant for one (1) episode next season when amanda and daniel finally get around to putting him up for adoption.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  i enter the cobra kai dojo decked out in all of my snake-themed clothing and jewelry (it's a lot). i approach kreese and explain to him that the open mouth of a snake, viewed head-on, is a yonic symbol. i am permanently banned from the cobra kai dojo.

(seriously though, assuming i'm a teen in this scenario i think i would have vibed with tory/miguel/aisha. dimitri and sam would have driven high school me up the fucking wall though. the cobra kai style looks like more fun/better exercise. do i also genuinely believe most young girls could actually benefit from someone yelling no mercy down their neck? maybe so 💖)

What’s your training montage song?:  50ft queenie - pj harvey (it takes place in the alison bechdel feminist karate dojo ofc)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: it's a full episode flashback to the time johnny got arrested in albuquerque, new mexico. johnny's court-appointed attorney is a weirdly hot babe who seems like a super straight laced killjoy at first, but soon reveals herself to be an unhinged woman. one thing leads to another, and johnny winds up in bed with her and her loser husband. there are lots of great themes about punitive justice, people's ability to change for the better (and worse), and what makes someone "good" or "bad" to begin with, but mostly it's just really hot sex. the husband tries to sell johnny a prepaid cellphone and johnny tell's him that cellphones are never gonna catch on, cause who want's to be bothered by people all the time like that?

better call saul. it's a better call saul crossover ep.

(fwiw think that greg 'hbo succession' hirsch should also be terry's cousin greg on the non-roy side. think about it--the roys are small people, but cousin greg is really tall?? and who else is really tall, and a blue eyed brunette to boot? terry silver. it all adds up! this never becomes relevant to the plot, in any case, i'm just considering it canon until the writers come to my house and explicitly tell me i'm wrong.)

Tagging: anyone who's interested 😘

[cheekysos]

Masquerade Rendezvous

Michael Clifford x Gender Neutral Reader

Author’s Note: This is my first gender neutral piece so I’m very nervous and I hope it’s okay. Thank you so much @sadistmichael​ for creating this amazing Michael appreciation week and for helping me with this piece! Also thanks to my lovelies @sexgodashton​, @talkfastromance4​ for your awesome advice! And @karajaynetoday​ @jae-writes-fanfiction​, and @blackbutterfliescal​ for beta-writing. I think I’m going to start a taglist so let me know if you’re interested in being included. 

Summary: Y/N attends a masquerade benefit where they meet a mysterious DJ.

Warnings: Smut, male receiving oral, gender neutral fingering, protected sex, alcohol, and swearing.

Every year your best friend, Alex’s law firm throws a massive charity event and this year is masquerade themed. You always agreed to tag along since it was for a good cause and you wanted to be supportive, the open bar also didn’t hurt. The theme excited you, allowing you the chance to have fun and be mysterious and that’s just what you intended on doing. 

As soon as you walked into the venue you were taken back by the music. The tempo was fast with a hard baseline, definitely wasn’t the typical music played at this event but you weren’t complaining. The venue was beautifully decorated, and looked straight out of a movie. Everyone’s faces are covered in various shapes, colors, and finishes of masks. You decided on a silver mask with intricate detailing, just covering your eyes. You headed straight towards the bartender wearing a simple black mask before you searched for your friend.

“Shot of vodka please! Double it,” you yelled over the music. You wanted to have fun tonight, to let loose. The bartender placed the shot on top of a gold cocktail napkin. You raise the glass to your lips while you sway to the music. In one quick motion you tipped back the glass swallowing every drop of liquid courage. The bitterness of the vodka made you wince as it made its way down your body. 

“You get booze before you come find me?” Alex leans against the bar next to you. 

“Of course I did. Figured I’d try to catch up with you!” you teased.

“Maybe if you weren’t late! Now let's go dance!”

You slid the empty glass across the bar and made your way through the sea of enigmatic faces towards the dance floor. As you got closer to the source of the music you instantly noticed the DJ. 

  His dirty blonde hair was long and his fringe tucked behind his mask, a half face shaped mask with a steampunk twist. His pink lips promently contrasted against his fair skin and scruffy facial hair. His focus was set on the turntables, his body moving along to the beat. He was everything you wanted in that moment, you craved him. One thing about you was when you wanted something you didn’t stop until you got it. You danced toward the booth, stopping just shy of his booth. You played up your movements on the dance floor exaggerating the sway of your hips. You let his music take control. You pressed your backside against Alex, she latched onto your hips and guided your rhythm. You looked back at him, his focus now in your direction. If he was going to watch, you were going to give him a show. You continued to dance while keeping eye contact with the mysterious DJ. He reached for his drink, taking a long swig. You watched as his tongue swiped along his bottom lip. Your mind wandered to thoughts of other places you desperately wanted his tongue. 

“Who’s the DJ?” you asked Alex over the music. 

“Don’t know but I knew you’d like him,” she laughed. 

“Lets play!” You purred. 

You spun around to face your friend, the mischievous smile on her face matched yours. This wasn’t the first time Alex has been your wingman. The two of you knew how to play each other up. Her hands roamed all over your body as you let go, your head thrown back in pleasure and the lights dancing across your exposed skin. You locked eyes with his hungry stare. You snicker at him gnawing on his bottom lip, he was clearly enjoying the view. The pads of your fingers grazed Alex’s cheeks gently pulling her mauve lips to yours. The kiss was slow and sensual, open mouths with no tongue. He glanced over your shoulder at him standing there with his mouth agape. A woman walked up to the booth and accepted a microphone the DJ handed her. She began speaking about the charity event but you were checked out, your focus was on him. His eyes were back on you, now paired with a cheeky little smirk. He motioned towards the side as he left the booth with a wink. He started to walk off, you shot Alex a look and followed after him. There was something about him that you couldn’t ignore, maybe it was the anonymity of the masks or maybe it was his carefree disposition and piercing jade eyes. You turned the corner and found him leaning against the wall. 

“You’re a needy little thing aren’t ya?”

“Depends,” you quipped. “You think you can take care of my needs?”

            He laughed at your question, he was clearly confident in his abilities. “Oh, I know I can kitten.” 

He stepped toward you, removing all the empty space between your bodies. Despite his mask covering a large portion of his face he was still one of the most exquisite looking men you’ve seen. There was a shared silence between you two as you took in each other’s presence, your chest heaving with anticipation. When it all became too much you caved, connecting with his ample pink lips and after that he took control. His kiss was eager and chaste, his tongue danced across yours leaving along the sweet bitterness of what tasted like a jack and coke. He parted from your mouth, his teeth grazing your bottom lip, gently tugging on it. 

       He grabbed your hand and pulled you into a small supply closet, your bodies colliding with various cleaning supplies. Your laughter filled the enclosed space.  He latched onto your chin, pushing your face to the side. His mouth worked his way down the side of your neck sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. You melt and moan into his kiss. His fingers slip into your parted lips.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Suck on my fingers, get them nice and wet for me.” He pushed two fingers in deeper, the ‘x’ on his finger disappearing passed your lips. You choke lightly around his digits, saliva dripping from your mouth. 

He spins you around, pressing you against the wall. His hand trailed down the length of your spine. He slipped into your pants, his coated fingers immediately working your hole. Your body had a visceral reaction to his touch.

“Yes please more.” you breathed. 

“Pushing back against my fingers already? How desperate. I bet you would’ve taken my cock straight away wouldn’t you?” His finger languidly pumped in and out of your sex. 

           “Y-yes,” you hissed. Your head was clouded with pleasure. He worked on a small patch of skin where your shoulder and neck meet, clearly trying to leave his mark. 

           “On your knees for me,” he whispered against your skin. 

You held your stare as you dropped to your knees. His well endowed cock stretched the fabric of his trousers taught. As much as you wanted to have fun and tease,  you wanted his cock in your mouth even more. He watched you eagerly as you undid his zipper and shimmied his pants down to his ankles. Your mouth watered at the sight of him. His cock was rock hard flushed against his abdomen. The amount of precum collecting at the tip was a clear indication that he was more than ready for your mouth. 

   “You like what you see kitten?” His thumb grazing your bottom lip. 

You nodded desperately. 

“Then do somethin’ about it,” he teased. 

You ran your hands up his thighs, your thumbs just barely grazing his balls before you lowered his cock to your mouth. You opened your mouth and lightly sucked on the pink tip, making sure to lap up every drop of his eagerness, he hissed from the stimulation. You sank down on him as your hand held steady at the base of his cock. 

  “Shit you take me so well,” he praised. 

You held him in your throat, moaning ever so slightly. His hips bucked at the vibrations inducing a quiet gag and your eyes to water. He used to thumb to wipe away a stray tear and held the side on your face to guide you to a persistent pace. Arousal churned in the pit of your stomach, your body was begging to be filled by him. 

  You continued to work his shaft with your hand while kissing his inner thigh, moving towards his balls. You took one of them in your mouth and sucked on it gently. The noise this action evoked from him was a confidence booster, you loved the power you had right now - the fact that you were causing all his pleasure. 

“Shit kitten. Need to fuck you now,” he helped you to your feet and tasted himself in your tongue. 

“Take off your pants,” he instructed. You did as you were told as he dug through his pants on the floor for a condom. Hastily he tore the foil packet and slipped it on himself. You took your position again facing the wall. The blonde grabbed a handful of your ass and lifted your leg onto the nearby shelf, giving him more access to your aching sex. He spit on his fingers, rubbing it onto your hole for extra lubrication. You reached behind yourself and grabbed onto his waist as he slowly pushed himself into you. Your jaw went slack as he stretched you out. 

“Fuck you’re so tight.” He panted. 

Your hands roamed over every inch of his skin you could reach. You pulled him closer, your body yearned for more, you needed everything he’d give you. You were grateful the music party was so loud otherwise the whole venue would be privy to the two of you, but a part of you couldn’t even be bothered to care - you were too far gone. You pulled his blonde locks toward you, your masks colliding when your lips connected again. You shared desperate kisses, chaste touches and immense pleasure as he fucked you to climax. 

“I’m g-gonna cum,” you whimpered. 

“C’mon kitten. Come undone - wanna feel ya.” He egged you on. Your perched leg began to shake and the churning arousal in the pit of your stomach started to burst. Everything hit you all at once, the sensations were overwhelming and almost too much to handle but he didn’t let up. It was almost too much, the orgasm coursing through your veins. You could tell he was close when he picked up his speed, the sounds of bare skin slapping together filled the room. With one final thrust, he released into the condom. You lowered your now aching leg to the floor after he slipped out of you. The two of you stood together a bit, your sweaty bodies holding each other upright as you relished in the afterglow. 

 “Fuck, I should get back there,” he broke the silence. “That was…we should do that again.” 

You tried to hide your beaming smile. “Think I should get your name first.” You joked. 

“Right. We skipped that didn’t we? I’m Michael.”

Taglist: @justhereforcalum​, @notinthesameguey​