#I HÂTE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH

[get-your-fuckin-star-bitch]

[Unwinding AU]

Just realized that if things go generally the same as they do during Infestation and Human Remains… and Michael gets Basira’s statement later, and the tapes…………..

Cause he’d DEFINITELY still want to, now more than ever, cause she was the one who really knew things! And he feels completely lost in the middle of everything that’s been going on. He really, really wants/needs to hear some of his old mentor’s advice.

(Jon’d also be, uh. The way he is in the original canon, to an extent… lol. Though this time Michael’s probably his prime suspect… for, er… odd reasons. He’s ironically worried that some supernatural creature took Michael’s form and killed Gertrude to take the position, which is so close but also no, Jon, he’s just as scared as you…)

And of course he recognizes some of the files-

God, probably almost cries when he finally hears her voice again for the first time in way too long…

…Only to find that she’s… not who he thought she was. Not in any way, at all. Every single thing he thought he knew about her has just been thrown to the floor and shattered by the end of the first tape.

The archivist doesn’t know what to do with this information at all.

He just. Is a mess of emotions for a while after this. All of which probably isn’t helped by the fact that Jon keeps looking at him suspiciously/like he’s seen a ghost, every time Michael’s around.

CONTINUED BELOW, (this turned into A Thing again lol)

(OH YEAH OK FORGOT TO MENTION UH)

(So basically before this: Michael finally gets jumped by the door, terrified out of his mind… and escapes! Though not in the way people usually do it. And as he discovers very shortly after, the method has left a mark.)

(And now he’s struggling to fight the occasional compulsion to basically do murder, and he can’t look at his reflection cause it’s all warped and stuff.)

(Elias is very intrigued about this.)

(Still working out the details of many different events, which is why those bits haven’t been posted)

Anyway-

So the whole Jon thing isn’t helping him work out how Gertrude basically lying to him the entire time feels, much less how his actual physical/mental/creature state feels.

Not sure how Sasha and Tim are yet, but Martin is probably gonna be nice to have around in the middle of all this.

OOHHHH BOY HELEN

Michael goes for a walk while upset over a particularly world-shattering tape. Sees someone get trapped in door. Hesitates at first, but then runs after her, trying to help. Jon thinks it’s him when she comes in for the statement, until Michael comes in JUST after the door closed, cause he felt it open in JON’S office and even if Jon HAS been snarky, it’s “for GOOD REASON” and so he BURSTS in, panicking, and jon’s like “AH FUCK- WHAT-????”

So Michael’s briefly VERY relieved, and apologizes, then realizes that someone else must have been there- then gets the whole story and is mortified.

Just… walks away to lie down.

Does not even bother assuming his “normal” form.

Nearly gives Martin a heart attack when he walks in to make sure everything’s ok- but like he’s not even threatening at all, he just seems really, really not ok, so like… why panic?

He just asks if Michael wants a cup of tea, and Michael almost starts crying again, but from GOOD feelings this time, and thus Martin keeps Michael from falling down an awful downward emotional spiral simply by fucking caring. I love Martin so goddamn much.

Over time, Michael starts learning more and more about a lot of things, actually. He may have been wrong about Gertrude as a person, but he had been right about her maybe knowing stuff that could help him understand. VERY right, indeed.

And even though he now knows she lied to him, he still finds comfort in hearing her voice. On some level, he’s gotten it into his head that maybe she just did it in the hopes that he wouldn’t ever have to worry about these things… after all, hadn’t she once said something about how he “really should be quitting by now”, or something?

Regardless, he finds that he actually sort of likes the new face of the old woman. She had this sort of fire in her… and he wishes he could have really known that side of her. Gotten to experience it a little. I mean, come on- she was honestly a bit of a badass!

And this new image he has of her just makes him miss her even more, on a whole new level.

And then he starts to wonder if maybe she knew anything about the door, remembering how she’d reacted to that awful book, ages ago. Maybe she’d (posthumously) be able to tell him what’s going on with him, and maybe even how to fix it?

So he tries looking through her tapes for anything regarding doors.

He finds nothing.

Maybe… creepy mirror-people?

There are a handful of incidents involving that kind of thing, but none that describe his situation.

He does find the one about the stair dude, and has to take a day off work after that, but he’s starting to feel pretty sure there’s nothing in the archives that matches anything he’s seen.

…Until he stumbles upon that worker-in-clay statement. The one in “sculptor’s tool”.

Reads the date on the statement after reading over it, (not aloud, or on tape), and it clicks. The boat ride. The one that he almost thought he’d just dreamt because of how bizarre it had all been-

She had said they were going to Sannikov land.

No wonder she’d been so worried about the boat turning around… they’d been off to go stop “Gabriel” from succeeding in starting the thing that had happened shortly after! But it had stopped… so clearly they’d messed it up anyway, thank goodness.

…but…

…why hadn’t she mentioned all of this to him beforehand?

If he was supposed to help her in that mission, why hadn’t she told him anything about what they were supposed to do?

How could he help her if he didn’t understand?

…If he didn’t…

In a moment, all the recent conversations and interactions he’d had with with others came back to him at once, and he looked into the mirror at his distorted reflection.

…what was it she’d called it…?

“It is not what it is?”

Indirect answers. The door. Mirrors. Even his own appearance never quite showed the truth.

And he’d been subconsciously noticing how much he relied on the confusion and lack of understanding of others in order to-

No.

He was thinking too far into this- and going based off of almost nothing at all, and-

Dark.

Snowing. Crunching ground under feet and footprints in shifting snow and the world around is wrong. And yet is also right, it knows better, much better, and more than he does, it is more than he is, to it, he is nothing, and-

Map. Door.

Go through.

There is

no

Way

Back.

And he is gone, but no, he is elsewhere, he is

It is there.

The center.

Replace it.

No. No, no no no no no no NO-

The fear crackles and piles up into a buzzing crescendo as the feeling of his entire body being rent apart and reshaped like clay is etched into his brain. And no one is going to save him.

She wasn’t there. She had won. He had just been an offering.

She was satisfied.

He was screaming.

The image broke like glass around him and he slid to the floor, gasping for breath and clutching at his head, hands, torso- reassuring himself that he was still there.

Still… whole.

He was still in his office.

Still sort of held the statement in his hands… although-

Claws. Laughter, and laughter, and laughter that would not stop-

He frantically shook off the punctured paper with a strangled cry, willing the talons to go away.

His fingers returned to normal.

But the feeling — that horrible twisting sensation, like his whole entire being was suddenly just putty, held firmly in a pair of hands that were warping and stretching and pulling him apart — stayed.

…and then, from somewhere in the direction of artefact storage… someone screamed.

[help how do I tag this- my head /gen hurts 🫠]

[mayonaisalspray]

I’m about to have a fucking ace attorney breakdown over numbers on a piece of paper

[ranger-danger]

Kane pre-redesign jump scare. He used to be a half elf and a monk 💀

Im still deciding wether or not his skin is green or if it is a natural hue just with green scales, but he doesn’t have monk blood anymore so it’s all okay

[vers-1]

I really do think I could pull the sword from the stone or lift the hammer or whatever

[rhaenella]

CL16 | Is It Over Now? | pt.4

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and charles have been everyone's fave couple on the grid, but when you somewhat unexpectedly break up, you turn to songwriting to cope with the pain

face claim: léon

a/n: all songs mentioned are by léon and some of taylor’s from the vault. also a massive thank you to my part time french teacher @xeresmalfoy for helping out and checking my grammar ❤️

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Liked by taylorswift, selenagomez and 1,131,489 others

y/n: Your reaction to Is It Over Now? has been nothing short of incredible. I feel your love 🤍 And that’s why I decided to give some of that love back to you. Besides my new music video, we’ve been secretly rehearsing for a special little something… 

It’s been a busy couple of weeks but I’m very excited to announce that I will be playing three small, intimate “one night only” shows in London (7/11), Paris (7/12) and New York City (7/15) next week. I can’t wait to see some of you there, let’s make it a good one x

🔗 Link to tickets in my bio!

View all 22,362 comments

sophiet: Yasss girl🔥see ya next week😘

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Surely friends will get a discount, no?

y/n: Hmm… we’ll see

yourmanager: No.

user7: i can’t waittttt!!!!!! see you in new york 😍❤️

user8: y/n really said i’m gonna use my pain and turn it into a creative outlet and i think that’s so beautiful and inspiring ♥️

user9: I CANT BELIEVE I MANAGED TO GET TICKETS

user10: omggg you’re so lucky they sold out so fast

user11: yeah i was too late :(((

user10: hopefully y/n will do a bigger tour🤞🤞

y/n: Sooooonnnnn 🤫

user10: OMFG

3 July

Liked by user23, user29 and 43,119 others

wagsf1update: Pierre, Kika, Charles and Maddy attend day eight of Wimbledon!

View all 2,235 comments

user23: charles and pierre look so gooddd 😍😍😍

user24: clone is cloning

user25: the way charles was only really talking to pierre during the game

user26: maddy and charles look so happy and in love in those pictures……. NOT

user27: so far i haven’t seen either of them smile in each other’s presence 

10 July

y/n’s story

Seen by alex_albon, kellypiquet and 3,979,114 others

11 July

landonorris’ story

Seen by y/n, danielricciardo and 3,788,531 others

11 July

danielricciardo’s story

Seen by landonorris, alex_albon and 3,244,091 others

11 July

landonorris’ story

Seen by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 3,743,160 others

11 July

danielricciardo’s story

Seen by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and 3,028,340 others

11 July

Liked by y/n, lilymhe and 301,882 others

alex_albon: Our professional opinion: this new up an coming artist was not too bad 🧐 (and fun fact: her post-concert cravings are REAL)

View all 2,911 comments

y/n: Omg Alex…

y/n: DID YOU HAVE TO POST THAT PICTURE

alex_albon: Yes

danielricciardo: Starving performer devours a burger 🍔 by alex.jpg

lilymhe: I told alex not to do it but he never listens to me

alex_albon: I can’t help that’s what she looks like when she eats

carlossainz55: This is true, I’ve witnessed this myself

y/n: I hate all of you

maxverstappen1: But secretly you still love us

y/n: Careful champ, there’s a fine line between love and hate

landonorris: Go on, please hate them so I will get all the love since I’m the only one here taking the banger pics

Liked by y/n

12 July

Liked by kellypiquet, yourbestfriend and 998,267 others

y/n: London was an absolute dream. Thank you for an unforgettable night❣️à demain Paris 🇫🇷

View all 18,432 comments

user18: absolute dream? ABSOLUTE FIRE ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

user19: BEST. NIGHT. EVER.

user20: it was emotional but oh so fucking powerful

user21: say don’t go is my new favorite song, i love it so much 😭❤️

Liked by y/n

user21: you were spectacular!!!!! please come back soon 

user22: j'ai hâte de vous voir demain, j'attends de vous voir en live depuis des années!!🙊💕 

Liked by y/n

12 July

—

It was late. Way past midnight. Maddy had already gone to bed a few hours ago. But Charles was still up, slouched on the couch in his five-star suite, a frown edged deep into his forehead.

He silently scrolled through his social media, switching from Twitter to Instagram to Twitter and back to Instagram again. You'd just posted new photos of your show in London tonight, looking as beautiful as ever.

The stage was where Charles knew you felt most comfortable, somewhere you weren’t scared to open up your heart and be vulnerable. The atmosphere you were able to create during your concerts couldn’t be put into words. It was truly something one of a kind. The way you effortlessly connected with the audience… it always left him speechless and usually with a wide, beaming smile.

In other words, he would never tire of watching you perform.

Charles had always been proud of you. And still, as he sat there reading through the thousands of posts by your fans and even some by his colleagues, he couldn’t help but feel that same sense of pride swell inside of him. 

Though, that pride was mostly overshadowed by a feeling of intense guilt. Guilt that kept nagging at him ever since the moment you’d packed your bags and left his apartment with tears running down your cheeks. His heart clenched painfully as Charles thought back to that particular day. It was his fault. All of it. He had been stupid. No, beyond stupid. It had started out as a drunken mistake. But you can’t make a drunken mistake twice, let alone thrice. 

When you’d found out and had confronted Charles, he hadn’t denied it. And in that moment, he’d witnessed that last bit of hope you’d stubbornly clung to, shatter before his eyes. Along with your heart and your trust. 

As the reality of the situation had slowly dawned on him, he’d gone completely numb. Charles had wanted to fight for you harder, but he hadn’t. If he had, his current situation could’ve possibly been entirely different. Your new song—which he had already listened to three times—made that perfectly clear.

But he had decided on another path. A decision that resulted from losing the love of his life by his own hand. Did it make any sense? To choose to stay with the girl he’d betrayed you with? In his loneliness it had made some weird type of sense. Because if there was one thing Charles couldn’t handle well, it was being alone. And boy, he’d never felt more alone than when you’d closed that door behind you, making him believe there was no longer hope for a future together.

Now, all he wanted was to focus on moving on and stick to his decision to be with Maddy. Was he in denial about his true feelings and the pain he tried to bury deep inside of himself? Perhaps. Probably.

Charles was still mindlessly scrolling when Maddy emerged from the bedroom, leaning against the wall studiously. He hadn’t even heard her until she cleared her throat, speaking to him softly but with a tinge of annoyance. 

“Charles, are you finally coming to bed?”

“Ouais, je serai là dans une minute,” he answered absentmindedly.

Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.

She rolled her eyes. “How often do I have to tell you: speak English. I’ve no clue what you’re saying.”

“Mhm, désolé…” 

Charles paused, quickly looking up as he realised his mistake. 

“Seriously,” Maddy scoffed.

He winced at her irritated look. There was no denying Maddy had a temper, her moods changing as quick as lightning. The countless fights Charles and her had had in the past few months were enough proof of that.

“Sorry,” he tried again.

She huffed, stomping away in the direction of the suite’s bedroom, harshly closing the door behind her.

He rubbed his temple, sighing. He was just tired. And speaking in his native tongue when he was tired or upset was something he did without thinking. 

Years ago, you’d quickly figured that out as well. However, you never judged him for it. No, you were understanding, trying to acquaint yourself with his language to understand him better. To be there for him. In the end, you knew him so well that you could almost always accurately read him, the language barrier between you no longer an issue. Not that it had ever been one in the first place.

He thought back to one of the tweets he’d read before Maddy had come barging in. 

‘Charles made the biggest mistake of his life. I hope he realizes it.’

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting his head lull back against the couch’s headrest. And just like he’d done ever since that fateful day, he willed all of his doubts, guilt, and pain into a neat little box, unable to face them. Charles sighed again, pushing himself to his feet, wearily following in Maddy’s footsteps towards their shared bedroom. But as his hand hovered over the door handle, one single truth echoed through him, unwavering.

Oui, he thought. Je le comprends. 

Yes. I do realize it.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Tags: @sukisheadlights @eviethetheatrefreak @blueflorals @kiskso @dessxoxsworld @treehouse-mouse @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @clown-fc @stopeatread @vanishingcherry @bb-swift @leclercdream @scenesofobx

[prodigal-explorer]

i’m seriously still reeling at the idea that roman is the most hated side right now-

like huh??? how???

of course everyone is entitled to their opinions but i did not realize that roman is so unpopular! but now that i think about it, there is so much rampant roman hâte in the fandom and i’m trying to see if there’s any specific reason why.

i am a rampant patton hater, and my reasoning is that he reminds me of people from my past, his bad actions just get brushed aside and forgiven, and a lot of his fans are so mean to me 😔.

people act like roman is some big bad powerful bully when it’s evident that right now, he has the least amount of power out of all the sides besides maybe logan. even when he was put in charge of the courtroom scene, he was coerced and manipulated to the point where the choice was not his own at all.

i genuinely can’t think of something roman’s done that’s unforgivable in my eyes.

the only bad thing i can think of roman doing that he hasn’t atoned for is make fun of janus’ name and even that was an act of retaliation, not a bullying action.

he is SO GOOD. roman is so good. he’s not perfect, he’s overly rude sometimes and his coping mechanisms are incredibly unhealthy and he’s immature and naive and gullible. but he bends himself backwards to please others. he’s soooo so so so relatable in that aspect, and i guess i expected more people to relate to him.

i don’t understand how people look at roman and see anything but a terrified, child-like entity with no guidance, no real friends/alliances, and a shockingly good attitude all things considered. he apologizes for his wrongdoings. he tries so hard to change when it’s revealed that he’s done something bad. he destroys himself just to try and get a sliver of forgiveness, sometimes for things that aren’t even his fault. he tries so hard to be smiley and confident and the perfect disney prince, and lately it just doesn’t work because it’s impossible to keep that act up when you’re miserable and nobody gives a shit about you.

ever since janus’ introduction, roman has been nothing but a toy to the other sides, especially patton and janus. he was literally KNOCKED OUT by remus. he’s constantly insulted and put down. and yet he’s seen as the bully by fans?

maybe i’m just super deluded but it’s just so confusing to me 😭 i don’t exactly MIND this because i love being quirky and different and having the unpopular opinion but it just makes no sense in my brain how y’all can hate such a beautiful character.

[thedeathdeelers]

love to hate you hate to love you; you know the drill

“but- but i thought you hated me?” julie asks, mouth still hanging open, eyes wide.

luke stares at her for few moments, his eyes tracing every line on her face, before reaching over and cupping her face in his hands. he pulls her in a little closer shaking her slightly.

“you thought…i didn’t like you?” he says, head tilting as he questions her.

“hate,” she amends in a mumble, nodding, his hands moving with the motion.

“i-“ he starts, then cuts himself off laughing, making julie frown the longer he shakes with mirth.

“luke!” she tries to stomp her foot on the ground, but stops herself when she realises how childish that might come off as. she does poke him in the chest to get his attention though.

luke just shakes his head as he continues to chuckle, thumbs swiping across her cheeks. the laughter eventually tapers off, his eyes shimmering with humour…and a hint of something else.

“jules,” he breathes, gaze locked on hers. “i’ve been head over heels for you from the moment we met.” he says it so matter-of-factly that it takes julie a second to process. she blinks up at him, colour starting to flood her cheeks at the realisation of what he had just said.

no julie, focus.

she shakes her head slightly, cheeks rubbing against the palm of his hands, and speaks up.

“so i…i’ve been living in my own sworn enemy drama this entire time?”

luke lifts an eyebrow at her, a grin stretching across his face.

“sworn enemy? come on boss, you’ve been watching way too many shows lately.”

julie rolls her eyes at luke as she lets out a puff of air.

“i cant believe you like me. that you liked me this whole time.” julie sighs, a small smile making its way known on the corner of her lips. “i wasted so much energy trying to hate you.”

luke lets out another chuckle, before pulling her in and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“i cant believe you thought i could ever hâte you.”

[tsn-eclipse]

..i would have Ask what is it...but you wont tell - -" ...normal...hum...*sight* so you hâte me too i imagine

Øh you know why nøt just t3ll you not like you could do anything about it and also nøt trusting you does not equal hate but it doesn’t mean I like yøu 3ith3r…

let’s just say I was made from a coded add on that was put on a copy of Lunas code for a mission to survive Him and to destroy him…. To end him and g3t rid of anyøn3 whø g3ts in my way…

It’s quite irønic to who cøded me considering how much th3y 3nded up enjøying being with Luna when she left the void~

[resident-gay-bitch]

Too Late - One

summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?

warnings: (18+) alcohol, porn, mentions of masturbation, bitching about Chrissy (pls i love her irl, don’t attack me).

character description: fem, she/her pronouns, female anatomy, hair at least long enough to sweep back from face.

too late masterlist - find next chapter there :)

“So you're the infamous Y/N L/N i’ve been hearing all about?” a sweet voice picked up from behind your shoulder, you almost didn’t hear it over the loud buzz of the party and the distorted music.

You turned in your chair slightly to find her sitting beside you, holding out a beer for you to take, “And you're the infamous Chrissy Cunningham i’ve been hearing all about.”

Too fucking much about.

she giggled, “it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.” you smiled.

you wanted to be happy for Eddie, he was your best friend after all, you had to be happy for him. He actually managed to pull the girl he was crushing on… and that girl, of all people. It was strange to think about the pair. but, part of you couldn’t fucking bear it. you were in love with him. ever since that stupid party in middle school, you landed on him in spin the bottle/seven minutes in heaven. even with his trashy little buzz cut and zit ridden face and mouth full of braces, you thought he was beautiful. and so you walked into that closet with high hopes, and then he kissed you. and you freaked out, internally anyway. you stepped out after five minutes of making out (two minutes of taking) and you were head over fucking heels falling in love faster than you’d done anything before in your life. but, after that kiss, he never tried to kiss you again, even with your blatant flirting. no, to him it was just a stupid game. he probably kissed every other person he stepped into that closet with, just to have a try. but you, no, you only kissed Eddie… and you regretted it. but now, he was your best friend, and he was dating Chrissy. everything was becoming a little too heavy.

“So…” she started, oh god, here it came, the talk, “you and Eddie are really close.”

“Yeah.” you nodded, sipping your unusually expensive tasting beer.

“I hâte to be that girl…” she played with the hem of her perfect little skirt, “but… has anything ever… happened between you?”

“yeah.” you nodded, and her eyes widened, “the reason we became best friends was because we made out in a game of spin the bottle in middle school. He decided he was so disgusted by kissing me that he would never, ever do it again. Now I'm like… his guy.”

“his guy?” Chrissy asked, a few insecurities shining though.

you nodded, you wanted to be honest with her, you didn’t want her to hate you, because if she hated you she would prevent Eddie from spending time with you. And you had come to terms with the fact that you could never be with Eddie romantically, but you couldn’t deal with the idea of him leaving your life completely… especially not for some girl that would eventually break his heart and leave him in the dust for some preppy prick like Jason.

“Yeah,” you smiled, “we hang out all the time, and I know he definitely doesn’t see me like that at all because he’s really gross around me. like… boy gross.”

she quirked an eyebrow, “boy gross?”

“yeah, like he burps really loud and will walk up to me and fart in my face and laugh. and like, talks to me about girls and stuff, and is very open about his porn collection-“

“He has a porn collection?”

“Chrissy.” you deadpanned her, “every guy has a porn collection.”

“well..” she shifted in her seat, “what’s his like?”

“I don't know,” you shrugged, “it varies.”

you eyed her up and down, she was nervous.

“Don’t worry,” you smiled, “you fit the description of the girls in some of the videos and mags.”

“oh, okay.” she smiled, “should i be disgusted by that?”

you shrugged, “i mean, probably. most girls are… but that’s because they’re disgusted by porn. I would kill for the guy I'm into to have picked out a video specifically because the girl looks like me.”

“Okay, cool.” she relaxed a little, “y… you didn’t— the kiss you had, you said he decided you were… gross or whatever. What about you?”

your face turned red, “uh…” you smiled nervously, “yeah, i told you he farts in my face. he disgusts me.”

not true at all, you love him. He probably should disgust you though.

“oh that’s good.” she sighed, “phewph, i was really nervous you were gonna bite my head off and tell me you were in love with him or something, i used to think you stared at him a lot.”

your cheeks turned redder, “oh.”

“There’s my girls!” You both turned to see a tipsy Eddie stumbling towards you in the crowd, a big grin on his face.

Chrissy looked at you with doubt.

“Don’t worry,” you shook your head, “when he’s drunk he calls me his girl. i don't know why, he just always has. the first few times he did it sober I kicked him in the balls.”

Chrissy laughed a little, “oh, okay.”

“Heya pretty ladies.” Eddie grinned, standing between the two of you.

“nerd.” you scoffed, taking a sip of your beer.

“Hiya baby.” Chrissy smiled up at him.

He leant down and nudged his nose against hers. you made a gagging sound, smirking when they both turned to look at you. you hoped they’d take that as a cue to drop the PDA. apparently not. Eddie was drunk though, and Chrissy was probably trying to stake her claim. so. he brushed his lip against hers.

“How’s my princess goin?” He whispered, but you heard it.

it stung you.

that was his nickname for you, ever since he called you it in that stupid little closet at that stupid party.

‘you look like a princess,’ he grinned.

‘you think?’ you blushed.

‘yeah.’ he nodded, poking your pretty dress, ‘can I kiss you, princess?’

you felt like crying, but you skulled your beer instead, pushing the tears away.

“isn’t she pretty, Y/N?” Eddie asked, his arm around her, “She’s so pretty.”

he never called you by your name… ever… not unless he was mad.

“Yeah.” you smiled, “very.”

“She looks like a princess.”

you looked at her dress, it was white, and flowy… it looked a lot like that dress you wore to that party. that only made your gut wrench.

“Mhm.” you nodded.

“you okay, Y/N?” he asked, double fucking whammy.

“yup.” you nodded, speaking a little too abruptly.

“Y/N—“

“I think I'm gonna go play spin the bottle.” you smiled and rushed outside to Gareth.

you tapped on his shoulder, and he turned to look up at you with bright eyes, “Jovi! come play.” he grinned.

The nickname, the one you loved so much, came from that time he caught you drooling over a magazine filled with pics of Bon Jovi. he teased you about it, a lot.

“no thanks, can i talk to you?” the lump rose in your throat again.

“no, I wanna play and kiss a pretty girl,” he pouted.

“You can kiss me.” you teased, kicking his leg softly, but his heart skipped a beat, “cmon, i need to talk to you about something.”

he smiled softly, “alright, but only because i know you're gonna be really mean to me if i don’t.”

“correct.” you helped him up, and led him to a quiet room.

someone’s bedroom, the parents, you supposed. you sat on the bed and immediately started crying, finally letting your emotions out. Gareth locked the door and sat down beside you, stroking your back.

“What’s goin on, Jovi?”

“Eddie.” you cried, leaning into his shoulder.

his heart sank. you told him about your feelings for Eddie last week when he announced to Hellfire he managed to get a date with the girl. you left the lunch table in a rush and Gareth was the only one to notice your shifted mood, he followed you and you sunk into his arms. his heart broke that day, but he decided that wasn’t important.

“Just why?” you whined, “why does he have to like her, Gareth? i’m right here! i’m right fucking here. i’ve always loved him, i’ve always wanted him, and what… nothing! nothing!”

He nodded and stroked your hair.

“why can’t he just see me, for once i just want to be seen, Gareth. i don’t care if it’s by some dumb jock at this point, i just want someone to see me.”

“hey.” he pulled you back, “you are seen, darling.”

that was new.

“You are seen.” he nodded again, wiping your tears, “you are beautiful, and kind, and soft, and warm… trust me, you are seen. it’s just… it’s just harder for us freaks because it’s never the people we want that see us.”

you frowned and rested your head against his palm, “It just hurts me so much, it hurts because he will never see me the way I see him. and i’ll always see him that way.”

that- that really fucking hurt him, but he didn’t let you see that. he would never let you see that.

“I know how you feel, darling.” he pulled you back into a tight hug and let you cry.

——————————————————————————

the next couple of days passed, and you spent your time wallowing away in self pity and cheep chocolate. but today Corroded Coffin had band practice, and you always went to band practice. you rocked up at Gareth’s house, finding him, Grant, and Jeff in the open garage. you hopped out of your car and walked inside.

“Jovi!” Gareth was the first to notice you and he flung his arms around you, drumsticks hitting your back.

“Hey Gar bear.” you scruffed his hair.

he blushed at the nickname, something he did every time you called him that, or any other nickname, or even when you said Gareth whilst smiling. you never noticed.

“Boys.” you smiled and greated them both, “Where’s Ed?”

“Dunno.” Gareth shrugged, “He said he was gonna get here an hour ago.”

“Probably got caught up on a deal man.” Grant suggested.

but you knew he was probably with Chrissy. you sat around talking with the guys for over an hour, Eddie was still a no show.

“Alright, i guess we’re not practicing today then.” Jeff huffed.

“We got that extra gig coming up, what the fuck is he doing?” Grant asked.

“Cant you just practice without him?” you suggested.

“yeah, but Eddie’s lead guitar and vocals, it’s not really the same.”

“I’ll fill in for him.” you suggested, “is his old guitar in your back room still?”

“Uh, yeah.” Gareth nodded and you hopped up.

you walked though his house, saying a quick hello to his mum before going to the back room and fetching the beaten up guitar. you were walking out when you noticed a mag splayed out on the couch. you picked it up to find it bent open to a page of a girl, sexy pink lingerie on, her head not in the shot, just her body, and there was a fucking cum stain on it. you dropped the magazine back on the couch in haste before heading back to the garage.

“Gareth…” you called, looking around for him, finding him perched behind his kit, “you really gotta keep your porn hidden better.”

his face blushed the brightest shade of red, “Wh- what?“

“imagine if your mum walked in there and picked up that magaizine. she would have had a fucking heart attack. it’s bad enough finding your sons wank material, even worse to find his cum dried on it.”

“oh my god.” he stood up, tripping over his kit a little as he did, the other two laughed in his face.

“Don’t be embarrassed, everyone wanks.” you shook your head, “i got a detailed tour of Eddie’s collection, you know, including his favorite sock to cum into, so your thing is the least of my worries.”

he was still extremely, extremely embarrassed. he was embarrassed because the girl looked exactly like you, the underwear even similar to a set you had, that he only knew you had because he walked in on you changing a couple weeks ago. it was sort of cute, he blushed bright red and tried ro run straight out the door, but crashed into the wall as he did. he was yelling apologies after apology though the closed door, and you just told him you couldn’t care less. because you didn’t, he was your best friend, he knew what colour your vibrator was for christs sake.

you turned on the amp, plugging in the guitar, “okay, so i know some of your shit, not a lot, Eddie taught me a handful, so don’t hate me if i fuck it up.”

“promise.” Jeff smiled, just grateful to get some practice in before the gig.

and then you had all started to play, and Gareth had never fucked up so much. he was playing terribly, but only because he couldn’t take his eyes off you, you looked so effortlessly cool and beautiful. he couldn’t concentrate if his life depended on it. you apologised, thinking your off key and sloppily playing was fucking him up, and he just shouted,

“No!” he shook his head, calming down a little, “No no, i’m just off my game today. it’s not you, i promise. your actually helping.”

no you weren’t. you were tearing him apart.

——————————————————————————

it has been three weeks, and the four of you had barely seen Eddie. the only time was at school, and he skipped most classes and only showed up to a couple lunches. he often snuck off to have some alone time with Chrissy. it pissed you off. so you sat in his spot every lunch, feeling a little pride, you often imitated him, amusing the rest of Hellfire. you knew if he ever caught you he would get very, very mad. but maybe he deserved it, he was basically replacing you after all. you spent a lot of your free time with the guys, more specifically Gareth. you were already best friends, but you felt like Eddie’s absence was only bringing you closer. you didn’t mind that part at all, he was great. always sweet, funny, made you smile, knew exactly how to cheer you up when you were down.

“No…” you shook your head, your feet up over the back of his couch and your head hanging off the edge, “that’s not right.”

“Yes it is.” Gareth pressed, he sat on the floor, his head right beside yours and due to your angle you could see up his nose, he handed you the joint you were smoking together, “we have never smoked alone before, it’s always with Eddie.”

“Nah uh!” you insisted, taking a long inhale, “course we smoked alone, your my best friend and we’re both pot heads.”

“Name one time where it was just us, then.” he grinned.

you thought for a moment, a very long moment… “oh fuck. maybe we haven’t.”

“told you, Jovi.” he smiled.

“huh,” you sighed, “well, we should do it more. it’s nice.”

“yeah.” he blushed and you blamed it on the weed.

“i’m missing Eddie less.” you bit your lip and he looked at you desperately, “well, i still miss him a lot, but the asshole has barely said three words to me in weeks.”

“yeah.” Gareth pressed his head further back into the couch, taking the joint from you.

“Yeah.” you nodded, “i mean, he’s been so pent up with that strawberry blonde priss, he’s completely forgotten about me Gar Bear. completely.”

Gareth sighed.

“I mean, he calls her princess now, for christ sakes.”

“Really?” Gareth quirked an eyebrow, “but that was his name for you.”

“i know.” you rolled your eyes, “why it sucks so much more. i’m full on being replaced with a prettier, preppier, more flexible version that he actually wouldn’t mind kissing.”

“your prettier.” he said, not really thinking, and your stomach flipped.

you had no idea why it flipped. but it did.

“i’m not, look at her.”

“i did look at her, when Eddie repetitively told me too.” he sucked down his pride and forced out his confidence, “your definitely prettier.”

you smiled softly, which made him grin.

“Thank you, Gareth.”

And he was blushing, “Course, Jovi.” he smiled, “plus, who wants a prep? imagine all the basketball games he’s gonna have to sit though for her.”

“oh that’s gonna suck.” you laughed, taking the spliff.

“It would suck so much.” he continued, “He’s gonna grow sick of it after two games, guaranteed.”

you laughed.

“what time do your parents want you home?”

“ah, i don’t know.” you shrugged, “they were going out tonight so they wouldn’t actually care.”

“cool.” he nodded slowly.

“why, you tryina get rid of me?” you poked him on the nose and that nearly fucking killed him.

“Never.” he answered a little too quickly.

“mind if i just stay the night? i can’t be bothered walking.”

he raised his eyebrows, it’s not like you never stayed the night before… just Eddie or the other guys were usually there as well. someone else was always there.

“yeah, sure. of course.”

“cool.” you nodded.

——————————————————————————

you couldn’t help yourself, you were a snoop. everyone knew that. so the minuet Gareth went to go get you some clothes to change into, you dove back into his little porn stash he kept in the back room. you flipped though the magazines, looking at the dog eared pages, and inspected the dirty movies closely. a pattern? yes. all the girls had the same body shape, the same -or similar- hair colours, a lot of them had soft pink lingerie on. you furrowed your eyebrows. Gareth walked back in to find all his porn spread over your lap. he wanted to die.

“Jovi, I can-“

“who the hell do you have a crush on?” you asked.

“what?”

you held up one of the dog eared pages and one of the videos, “they look the same. all the girls look the same, your into someone and your buying porn that looks like them. spill.”

“no.” he shook his head.

“oh, come on! you know who im into.”

“and it took you like, four and a half years to tell me.”

you squinted your eyes, “im gonna figure it out.”

“no you won’t.” he teased.

he was actually surprised you hadn’t already. could you not fucking tell it looked exactly like you? like your underwear? he thanked the gods you were so clueless.

——————————————————————————

“Come on, Jovi.” Gareth poked your arm, you were half asleep on the couch, “time for bed.”

“okay.” you nodded, not moving.

“come on, darling.” he was so soft with his words, “come inside.”

“but i always sleep on the couch.” you groaned.

“yeah,” he smiled, “because it’s usually pulled out to be a bed.”

“pull it out then.”

“it takes too long.”

“im okay here. you go inside.” you said, eyes shut.

“im not letting you sleep out here alone, Jovi.” he shook his head, “it’s not safe.”

you groaned.

“come on, it’s nice and warm inside, much more comfy.”

“okay.” you mumbled, still not moving.

Gareth’s softness made your stomach flutter a little, but you were too tired to notice.

“alright.” he stood up, grabbing your underarms and lifting you to sit upright on the couch, “you can keep your eyes closed but you need to use your legs a bit.”

you nodded, and he grabbed you again, wrapping his arm around you and he was pulling you up. he walked, your body weight completely slumped on him as you stumbled together out of the back room and into the main house. he guided you into his bedroom where he tucked you safely into his bed.

“thanks mummy.” you mumbled, half asleep as he brushed some hair out of your closed eyes.

he laughed a little, “goodnight, Jovi.”

he turned to leave his room, he was going to take the couch.

“where are you going?” you mumbled, forcing your eyes open, “your bed is this way silly.”

“your in my bed, Jovi.”

“So what?” you shrugged, “i shared a bed with Eddie all the time, at least i’m not secretly in love with you too.”

yeah, but he was with you.

“it’s okay, i’ll take the-“

“you said it’s comfy in here.” you mumbled, “really don’t mind, Gar Bear, i’m too old to think you got cooties.”

he laughed and hesitated a moment before climbing in bed next to you. his heart raced, very, very fast. he was surprised you couldn’t hear it beating. you closed your eyes again and mindlessly shuffled closer to him, laying an arm over his chest and pressing your face into his shoulder as you properly fell asleep. He didn’t move the whole night.

[buckys-little-belle]

I agree with Buggie. Those anons are mean and you owe no one on here anything. I want to blow a big raspberry in their faces for being so mean to someone with such a kind heart. ♡ Not only someone with a kind heart but someone who gifts their time to us. Someone who gives us magical stories to escape into. Someone who creates such a safe and inviting place that we seek out you and your work for comfort ♡

You never owe us anything. I love seeing you post (stories or just updates). I am very very proud of you for what you have written and for standing up for yourself. Please don't let their negative and untrue words get into your mind. ♡ They're lame and big bullies who can't appreciate great work ♡ Don't let them dull any of your sparkle (too cheesy?)

-♡

if it’s cheesy then i like cheesy! honestly if anything this meanie is polishing my sparkle! responding to hate asks has been really hard, i have a “delete them or something bad will happen” ocd compulsion and this exchange, albeit something that’s caused me to begin breaking out in anxiety hives again, has helped show me that i can work through these compulsions. posting fics has helped too, but this hâte-filled interaction is the cherry on top! a silver lining if you will.

your messages and support mean so much to me lovie, you’ve really been here through the thick and thin and i don’t know how to express how much you’re asks help and how much i look forward to them! (no pressure of course) so thank you lovie <3

[tiredwiredanduninspired]

nooo!!!!!

you’ve been doing so well!!

There better not be a romance between these two siblings or istg

[dianarell]

I hâte nerds, like “the Big Bang theory” type of nerds that joke about not touching women in forever and only hang out with their two best friends who will tolerate any misogynistic banter they have. Ahahah a woman that doesn’t have a pHd . Lame.

Like shut the fuck up you asshole.

I can’t believe I used to crave their attention. Not just nerdy men. mEN in general. Fucking tired of your bullshit you stupid pigs. I’m done with y’all. I hate y’all so fucking much

[nereidofthesoul]

November 15th, 2023

Encore une soirée sans toi, mes dernières entrées doivent se faire bien redondantes n’est-ce pas ? C’est pas ma faute alright… I’m really just missing you. Je sais pas pourquoi mes ces dernières nuits sans toi ont été plus difficiles les unes que les autres, peut être car je n’ai plus de patience et que j’ai seulement hâte de rentrer pour être avec toi. Sûrement même. C’est difficile, it stresses me out d’être tout seul. Okay, I know I ain’t alone mais j’aimerai tant pouvoir dormir avec toi, en même temps. It’s so much anxiety pour moi de me dire que, quand j’irai au lit, le soleil sera déjà levé chez toi ? Alors que I hate being in the dark alone, ça m’angoisse; the moon is helping out a little, though it makes me think of you. (Always). Ce qui me fait rire c’est que je suis vraiment all over the place (in a good way) car je t’écris ici et je viens t’écrire sur Discord, pour que tu puisses avoir des petits encouragements in the morning… I know you love them so much; so I won’t stop. Pour ce qui est d’ici, je te demanderai un peu de patience encore. Sleep well my angel, we will see each other when you open your eyes.

[haha-skinny-go-brrr]

nobody in my life understands what it feels like to be me and i hate it. my bmi is so high i’m almost in the obesity category and i want to km$. everybody tells me i’m “so skinny!!” but they don’t fuckung get it. i feel like i’m gonna relapse and i don’t know whether to be happy or sad. on one hand i just wanna get skinny and on the other ive been so happy recently. i’ve been able to live normally and just exist happily but now??? fucj man. none of my friends get it. they are all skinny. everybody is skinny but me. if i was skinny i swear i’d be the happiest person on earth. nobody would call me ugly, nobody would think i was weird, and i’d be left alone. if i was skinny people might actually want to be my friend. during the school year i need to stop eating. i could use it as an excuse si people don’t notice the restricting. “oh why haven’t you eaten?” “i was studying oops!”. i need it. i will start today. i hâte this so much but it needs to be done. i need to get skinny.

[prodigal-explorer]

ooo i LOVE this take. especially because so often people view roman as the “perpetrator” in the relationship, they write him as the one who ruined it, the one who doesn’t care about remus, when that honestly in canon is equally portrayed by remus! they BOTH have moments where they don’t seem to care about each other but that doesn’t mean that roman is some bully of a brother while remus is a poor sad noodle who just wants his bwother back.

but when you look at how family-oriented and loyal roman is, it’s pretty strange that roman is just completely apathetic towards remus.

to me, it’s possible that roman’s “i hâte remus” attitude is a defensive front. because remus clearly doesn’t care much about him in a traditional family sense, and roman doesn’t want to put himself in a position where he’s vulnerable.

something else that’s HUGE to consider when looking at the twins’ relationship is PATTON.

patton fucking hates remus, guys.

i know you all have headcanons and i respect them but in canon YOU CANNOT DENY THAT PATTON DESPISES REMUS. to the CORE.

considering that roman basically worships the ground patton walks on, there is no way that roman would decide to be besties with remus or even try to pursue a relationship when patton hates remus so much. it’s a breach of loyalty.

I don’t think Remus is all that concerned with his relationship with Roman tbh 💀. People make most of his angst about Roman while that could be apart of it I don’t think it’s fully that. Like Roman, Remus’s problems don’t just revolve around his brother. I personally like to think he didn’t handle Virgil leaving too well.

I think ROMAN takes their relationship harder than Remus. In a previous post I said I thought Roman WOULD like a loving a nice relationship with his twin but because of Remus’s personality he can’t. He can’t since Remus is insensitive, careless and the villain. I don’t think Roman minds the grossness or the gore all that much it’s just the fact Remus doesn’t strive to be good and acts and behaves evilly

[verbo-s-e]

july 13, 2023

if they really wanted to, they fucking would.

we both toed that line — that, fine line — between friendship and more. i was ready at a moments notice to cross it. ready to hear the word go, i would’ve gone to the four corners of the cosmos with you. but you were too afraid weren’t you? too afraid to ruin a friendship built on cracked pavement, huh? go figure, seems pretty on brand.

so instead. you strung me along like a delicately beaded necklace. it reminds me of the string lights hung in your house. i see then glowing when i leave mine. reminds me in a way of what we’ll never be. our friendship couldn’t ever last, could it? not when we play with this fine line delicately woven between us the way we do. it’s worse than playing with fire.

you told me over and over again it was never anything more. to the point i almost believed it myself, and sometimes maybe i do. but it’s a lie you’ve repeated to help yourself believe. no one else, because no else does. i’ll sit in the wings of the echoes of words spoken just to make some fucking sense of it all. as if the reverberations will finally penetrate my thick skull.

it never works though. just enough to make me question everything. muddies up waters i thought impenetrable and crystal blue forever. and i hate you so much for that. you’ve got my devotion, but man i can hate you sometimes.

right now as you’re the man up on the hell in your tower, living your life with no consequence or grief addled bones of the ending and undoing of something neither of us can ever explain, i’m crying in my car replaying the tape over and over and over and over again trying to dissect what went wrong. why it went wrong. and all that. i’m sleeping more and more these days and barely have energy to function. i hâte to admit it, but my house is starting to take the brunt of it. how do i redirect? how do i zoom out? half a decade of loving you is a long time.

in my efforts to process this fucking insurmountable grief ��� and no, it’s no longer a mole hill anymore — i’m underneath the mountain and having a hard time finding an escape route. what’s my strategy? where’s the exit sign? like my decision to write the letter ending it all, the only thing i keep coming to is moving away. it’s the only thing that makes any sort of fucking sense. and it’s so FUCKED. it’s just not fair. even if you were here first.

another thing to add to the list of things to be angry about. i don’t actually want to leave. i can barely even whisper it. but it’s true. i’ve worked so hard to even exist. fought tooth and nail to take up space, to create a life i’ve always wanted to live, to be fucking proud of. but you’re my fucking neighbor and i just can’t not see that. not feel that.

i’m tired of feeling everything and shouldering the emotional bandwidth between us. god, i’m so fucking resentful.

all this to say that if you really wanted to, you would’ve. i don’t want to hear on a loop in my mind, ‘i didn’t know if i was hurting or helping you by being in your life’. yes you did. you always fucking did.

whatever.