#I GUESS??? insane to me that that’s like. an actual tag now
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now that there’s more people watching pantheon i wanna say that you guys should read “the hidden girl and other stories” by ken liu cause that’s what it was based on!! it’s not like necessary to understand the show or anything but it’s super fun to see what changed and what other stories the writers drew inspiration from
#ooooh you all wanna read this book so bad ooooh#also speaking of adult animated shows#ken liu wrote the original story that the episode ‘good hunting’ from love death and robots is based on#he writes really good sci fi stuff#anyways#pantheon#pantheon amc#pantheon netflix#I GUESS??? insane to me that that’s like. an actual tag now#m
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I got tired of circling back to frustration over my nitpicks on the f&c series so I OC’d my boy. Whoops. 😅💦. I'll still post stuff in the future about the AT version because I still have a lot of doodles I haven't posted yet and doodle ideas I want to draw!!... Buuuuuut in the meantime my brain gears have been turning hardcore over incorporating this version into my OC-verse... he's a silly astronaut now <3
#pulling a 'my oc koz lord of vampires' with this one bc I simply do not care anymore. If I'm gonna be insane I'm gonna be blatant about it#but ok. ok. listen. In my complete defense. I got tired of reading all the bad takes on simon. I was getting TOO angry.#especially with how the series handled the situation so insensitively#and I was like. well. actually that's kinda unhealthy pal maybe we should back off. and that's what we're doing#still love the character ofc!! I just don't have the capacity to fully explore an AU from AT's perspective without getting angry at it#fun fact I made Itchy as a self indulgent AU to vent/cope in the first place... so I kiiiinda knew this was coming the moment I made him#like... what’s more self-indulgent than taking him out of the source material for funsies? do u get me? <3#this is surprisingly not the most self indulgent thing I've done. but it's pretty darn close#anyways no I'm not tagging him on main that's my oc now. clearly. sgweats. beards him. see? that's ichabod. clearly not simon /hj#I made a kin onion a while back and tried to grab some influences from other characters so I hope that helps a bit#some of his story beats will line up with simon's ofc but Itchy's supposed to mirror Fern so it's nice to give him some space from simon#ok no more rambles I guess here come the other tags#digital art#original character#original stuff#ichabod zymmynz#flat color#2024
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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Boo, fursona jumpscare
Full body markings under cut
#my art#digital art#my sona#fursona tag#hatch#decided to make myself a solid fursona because.. like.. ok I love nox right#but he.. has become more of an oc to me tbh#and I wanted a little guy who was similar-ish/represented how my super old ones used to be#My old sonas were so simple though its actually insane#anyways!!! this took too long </3#there's a few little things I should fix but.. man I am.. tired#TUMBLR JUST POSTED THIS ON ME??? OK I GUESS??#I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO POST RIGHT NOW BUT! OK!!!!!!??!?#ref sheet#sona ref
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I’d need to watch it again to confirm this, but I’m pretty sure that Thomas Becket is the only character who independently initiates touch with Henry?
There are plenty of people whom Henry touches, and it’s almost always possessive or threatening: the villager woman in the first flashback scene, the Saxon peasant girl (and possibly the old man? I think he prods at both of them with his riding crop), Gwendolen (holding her shoulders/neck), the French prostitute (kissing, leaning over, sitting on, slapping her butt), his sons (pushing and kicking them), the bishop (strangling), his barons (clutching onto one, tapping one’s head to indicate his vapidness), and Thomas too—(clasping his shoulders when he realizes Thomas is hurt, holding his hand to put on the chancellor ring).
Interestingly, I don’t think we ever see Henry touch or be touched by his mother or his wife. There’s the moment when he grabs/kicks their needlework, and later on he knocks all the plates off the table, possibly vaguely in their direction—so there are two physical interactions which are violent but still sort of… distant? And still the direction is just Henry to them (in terms of physicality, anyway—verbally, they do initiate conversations/fights with him).
Does anyone touch Henry? There are the monks who whip him in the end, but Henry has ordered them to do it. Likewise, there’s the servant/valet/page who begins to wipe him dry in the bath scene, but again, that’s someone performing a duty. Thomas Becket though, cuts in and takes over the drying, and the dialogue tells us explicitly that he’s not expected to do this, and doesn’t have to (“You’re a nobleman—why do you play at being my valet?”) but Becket seemingly wants to do it, and he knows Henry likes how he does it: enthusiastically, confidently, warmly, and freely (“No one does it like you, Thomas”). He towels Henry’s head, helps Henry put on his boots, and then casually uses Henry’s legs to push himself up to stand.
There’s the scene in Henry’s tent, after the French prostitute has left and the two of them are sitting on the bed: Becket sort of leans in and briefly clasps Henry’s arm where it’s lying in his lap, casually and warmly.
There’s also the getaway horse ride, where Becket is holding onto Henry, arms wrapped around him, and they’re both laughing and smiling. Henry’s shirt actually falls open a little and Becket’s hand winds up on his bare torso.
And then there are the thwarted attempts at touch, after the split: the two scenes where Henry accuses Becket of not loving him. Both times, Becket moves toward Henry and reaches out to touch him, and both times, Henry moves away and tells him to keep his distance.
They’re quick little things, but if they are actually the only instances of anyone touching Henry affectionately (or even of their own volition) that we see over the course of the movie, it does support an impression of Henry as fundamentally isolated—maybe there is truth to his claim that Becket is the only person who’s ever loved him.
What’s tragic is that 1) Henry doesn’t really know how to express love himself (see: Henry expressing nothing but violence and entitlement to everyone else around him, and even to Becket for the most part), and 2) Becket’s love, albeit huge in Henry’s world, is conflicted and unfulfilling—for both of them.
Becket might be the only person who’s dared to reach out to Henry and meet him on something close to a human level, and Henry loves him for it, but why does Becket do it? Part of it may just be an instinct of Becket’s to fulfill a need where he sees one, if he can, and if it benefits him. I think it’s so interesting that Henry seems obsessed with the question of whether Thomas really loves him, when it seems the truth might be that Thomas actually doesn’t know; maybe it’s an unanswerable, even nonsensical question to him. Like, what else could he do? I don’t know. “Insofar as I was capable of love, yes I did [love you].” But the fact that his last words, unwitnessed and private, are, “Poor Henry.” Fuck me up.
Ok, that last paragraph got away from me and now I can’t stop. Tempted to draw comparisons to “Beauty and the Beast” (this is a sad version where no magical transformation happens… unless you take a particular Catholic stance and consider that both of them maybe took real solace and meaning in Thomas being made a saint and that Henry maybe found real absolution through his penance).
I also want to compare all of this to “The Lion in Winter”, where it feels like, rather than a story about one lonely monster in a castle full of people he sees as objects, it’s a whole microcosm of traumatized and power-hungry people, reaching out for power and security and love and stabbing each other in the back, over and over. (Like, of course his mother and wife and kids have complex feelings for him—some of which involve love!) I think that depiction is better and less myopic, more true to life and probably a more accurate portrait of the historical figures involved (even when it comes to Henry and Becket—Becket was of that world too, after all), but I think I’ve rambled enough about all of this, so I’m going to end this post now. I’ll just say that there’s something nevertheless appealing about the boiled-down fairytale melodrama of “no one else ever loved me but you!”
#this entire post (tag ramble and all) was in my Drafts for like 3 months. it’s a lot of words that don’t say much but I’m setting it free ->#and now a new epiphany#henry is just the fucking phantom of the opera again isn’t he lmao#the original blorbo#(for me I mean)#which makes thomas christine and god… is raoul.. :/#maybe it’s a hot take to call becket a simple fairytale melodrama lol#it has its complexities… there’s… spirituality and politics#(although idk if the film is actually that interested in the matter of the separation of church vs state)#there’s the entire thing about oppressive hierarchal social structures and whether love is possible within such a structure#and if it’s not possible to escape and not possible to love in it then is love even a meaningful concept? is this becket’s issue?#in the dvd commentary peter otoole was so unconcerned with / unaware of a marxist and feminist reading of it that I was baffled#and had to realize that I was seeing that by default but that it’s not like. actually the default or Correct meaning#the co-commentator tries to go down that direction talking about Henry’s mistreatment of Becket and Gwendolen#and then he asks otoole if he thought that was reading into it too much and otoole is like ‘yes lol’ so .#his take seemed almost existentialist? like the tragedy of henry and thomas is that they are bound to different Roles in the world#and that they simply couldn’t be otherwise even though parts of them wanted it to be different#because they’ve chosen different paths different meaning to fulfill (but are aligned in a way by becket’s death/ascension)#and that is definitely a huge aspect of it#becket’s line: ‘we must do—absurdly—what we have been given to do’#hmm#anyway clearly I’m fucking insane now so#have this I guess . or don’t lol. goodnight#I’m giving myself a d+ for this tumblr.com paper#becket#peter o’toole as henry ii cinematic universe
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(OKAY. I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY (i got REALLY carried away.) AND NOW I WILL PROVIDE VERY FEW INFO ON SABOSAN HISTORY AS EARLY AS 2014.)
sabosan existing on here since at least 2017 is crazy
(it's ask blogs and im lazy to know the lore but all ik is that sabo and sanji have kids while sanji is in extreme denial abt being gay)
i wanna know how far back sabosan goes... like at leasT 2015 or 2016??? (anime timeline) and maybe 2014 (manga timeline) idk im just guessing bc i dont know what year sabo returned so
OK BUT THE SLIM CHANCE THAT SABOSAN BECAME A THING LIKE ALMOST A DECADE AGO DRIVES ME INSANE I NEED TO INVESTIGATE WAIT
on pixiv in the sabosan tag (サボサン) the oldest works on there is from 2015. (i mean when u look up サボサン you get this cactus mascot which is p hilarious)
i theorize that sabosan became recognized because of zou/wci. bc thats when we learn about sanji's history. i notice that it seem to be more recognized by a few fans as early as 2016 (when wci started)
so those big brained individuals were onto something then. they saw two blonde characters that shared similar histories and went. "wait a minute. i can cook something with this"
and you know what sanji's good at? taking any ingredients and making something amazing out of it. thats what early sabosan fans did
there are Very Little content of them/i cant read japanese and i just mostly find the cactus mascot, but they were there. at Least as early as sabo's return. and at that time, fans did not receive sanji's past. they just took these guys like barbie dolls and made them kiss... anyway i need them to meet and i want to see the longtime fans react as theyve waited nearly a decade for that very moment
(kinda doubtful but let me dream!!!)
OKAY ANOTHER UPDATE (YES IM TYPING EVERYTHING IN ONE POST) i learned how to search dates on the bird app once more and. im seeing posts from jpn about sabosan !!!
one of my favorite ones:
the people understanding since 2016... that sanji goes well with ASL brothers :'D
ok found another tweet (and the users are still active !!) and translation seems butchered so im not gonna share but from what i could understand, this other user also likes sanji with ASL... this is amazing. LIKE im aware of the impact acesan had, especially bc of the anime including ace in alabasta (i understand deeply. i mean have you SEEN the way ace acted around sanji⁉️⁉️ lighting his cigarette... smirking at him when sanji turns his back... i know what you are. they Definitely spent an entire night (or more) alone together <3) but for sabo to be included to since this long ago, esp considering the two never met?!?? and the one connection is being royal blood...
again i cannot include everything, esp long posts bc the translation gets butchered but aaahh just ppl talk about the pairing, any potentials about it makes me happy... and gives me hope for the agenda to spread wider lol. what looks like that has been said is that a couple of people really like pairing sanji with multiple characters, esp ASL... and i understand so well. theres just something about sanji being so shippable
there are also fans speaking to other sanji ships fans, and they ask/say "i want to see your sabosan !!" it's great...
ahahhaa AHAHAHA FOUND ANOTHER POST I CAN SHARE:
sabo POP figure from 2016 (aaah i want it so bad...)
and the suit he wears in this figure, it does look like sanji's fit now that the user mentioned it 👀👀
okay i dug a little more and found another sabosan fan! at first i was unsure as they could be talking about another user or a cactus or something. but as it turns out, they are indeed a sabosan fan! they've said things like "i wish sabosan was more popular"/"i wish for sabosan" and this is dated back in 2016! plus one of my favorite posts (translated into deepL as i had a feeling that twt had butchered the translation and...)
they get it. they got it. as i mentioned earlier, the fans definitely knew what was up when wci happened. THEY WERE COOKING BACK IN 2016!!! which... i believe i should now start digging as early as i can. maybe for zou or dressrosa years!! bc certainly, this pairing was actually talked about during 2016-2017. it was wonderful to see!
oh my goodness... i decided to look from start of 2015 to the end, and so far in late 2015, the same user from the above translation, has been talking about them still! they mentioned sabosan fanworks, and how they read a heartbreaking fic⁉️⁉️ i cant tell you how happy i was to read that. sabosan being a thing and having angst works, even if i can't read them. (never mess with one piece fans, especially if they are fujoshi !! they'll find their ways. im honestly fascinated. i love fandom history if you couldnt tell by this post!)
plus, some fans calling themselves delusional for thinking of this pairing... if only i could be there with you, longtime fan.
and i'll be real here, i dont know of the popularities back then but the comparison of sanji and sabo being nobles are great :] (maybe bc i've just seen ppl being mean to sabo recently 😔)
okay im sure this post is getting wayyy too long so i'll try to wrap up my investigations. bc there are many posts to look through but sabosan being talked about as early as 2015 (as i write this) is just... very joyous news to me ;w;
im sure i will be missing lots of good posts (despite the horrible machine translations) but i am shaking hands with 2015-2017 fans in solidarity... at most 9 years later
!!! GREAT NEWS. 2014 posting!!
original tweet and deepL translation... dated mid december 2014. nearly a whole decade ago. i swear sabosan will go viral, way more than when zou/wci was in progress. im sure of it
i really cant put into words how im feeling or what im really thinking. just know im happy to find fans from 2014 !!
OH MY GOD.
⁉️⁉️⁉️ AUGUST 2014 BTW. and im assuming its supposed to be "sabo started with" or something but... the content. sabosan content. 2014. it's out there. SHAKES YOU. THE CRUMBS (also this user is a sabosan fan and i think acesan fan too as i did see mentjons of them... so this just...)
THEYVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME AAAAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭
NOW IM CURIOUS WITH HOW MANY POSTS IVE BEEN MISSING⁉️⁉️ yall the agenda must spread farther
ASL/sanji mentioned! august 2014
omg again from the same user
shaking your hand in spirit (april 2014!!!)
there have been fans of this pairing as early as april 2014!!!! and have been manifesting for their popularity for awhile 😭😭😭 (plus this user is still active! im not sure if theyre still into one piece but... i hope for the longtime/past fans to see it all soon)
i think my investigation into sabosan history ends here after a long post and hours of searching... unless i somehow find something earlier than april 2014, the earliest moment that sabosan was first talked about was in the year 2014. Q2 2014. back when dressrosa was still ongoing. do you know how insane that is? before wci.
i think we can come to a conclusion that sabosan was a concept as early as 2014 was all becaude of acesan. thats the pattern i noticed. ace/acesan was often mentioned. and i believe it's bc not only are ace and sabo brothers, but bc sabo aimed to eat the mera mera no mi. and if sanji were to meet sabo, sanji would be reminded of his late lover, ace. and the angst potential is so real... sanji looking at sabo... just as a replacement for ace? ouch
i know the fans were having a field day when they learned about sanji's blood family :']
side note: there are likely things lost due to users deactivating or whatnot... and i doubt i'd be able to search via wayback machine. and as much as i dont like pinterest for reposting art, there are pieces of the two ive never seen before
#tin talks#absolute nonsense bc i literally cant sleep#being an insomniac is fun#i at most had 2 hours of sleep yesterday#anyway im gonna dig more into their history cuz im silly like that#call me nico robin w the way i love history#sorry#this is what happens when i decide to use tumblr more#i talk into the void#thats what using social media is for i know but#anyway#<- earlier tags#this is what happens when i fixate on a ship i guess??#i learn history/the origins of sabosan#and i conclude that it was all thanks to acesan and dressrosa#if you actually read the entire post thanks for perceiving me now you know im insane#i will literally dig until i hit the core of the earth just to learn a little bit of my rarepair#sabosan#im crazy#insane even#anyway theres no way i'll sleep soon
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reblog to like ratio is sooooo sad on here these days. SIGH.
#like i'm not one of the ~immaculate giffers#so getting notes is really hard now unless you have a following/or a network that has a following#and it's just........discouraging to try and gif anything for a fandom you're not in unless people follow you FOR your gifs#which isn't how like i want my tumblr to feel anyways but it used to be that i could just gif anything and somehow the chain would go off#and now............yeah it doesn't#i'll never forget how the one random star wars gifset i made one time got 30k notes#that was insane to me and will never be replicated#but still the norm among the fandom used to be ~1-2k notes on a gifset and a lot of those notes were reblogs with tags i used to live for#and also those tags pre 2016 are no longer visible which. yeah. hurts actually#tumblr salt in my tags i guess#tumblr salt#it's like having a popular fic and losing half or all of your comments#/end rant of my gifmaker's salt
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dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....
#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow...#every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭#like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀#the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date#but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo#i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them#to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad#i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends#but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd#which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar...#and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf#this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found#their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them#i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media#like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends#also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh..#not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute#ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole#im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee#.diaries
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yesterday at 29.5 years old I watched as many videos as I could find from my high school marching band, choir, and theater run crew days and realized I barely have any memories of my junior year of high school (13-14 years ago btw) other than feeling bad™️
#i know i was bullied by people i considered friends and theyre all super christians now which is so discordant with who i am lol#it was def a lonely year but i also like forgot the marching band show (it was p cool)#i literally cried my eyes out when i found the 2011 marching band vids#i was like there's little lost baby me and just wanted to hug her#and say itll be okay youre gonna go through things good and bad that you cant even imagine rn#also looking back im like wow most people were in choir OR band OR run crew#very very few ppl were in all of them and possibly nobody else was in all of those when i was?#i found a kid i guess 8 years younger than me who posted all his jazz band and choir and theater vids from my hs#and thats the only other person i can think of that genuinely got involved in all of those things#being a jack of all the performing arts and master of none was lonely tho#i didnt quite fit into any of the cliques bc i was half in half out of everything#its so insane how much i changed when i got to college (two weeks/14 days after my hs grad bc summer session...)#and that change was not instant#i was a swirly mess figuring out who i was for the first two years of college#i mean life is just a swirly mess of figuring out who you are#but like i got to college and realized i barely actually resonated with anything i was doing#and let go of and then relearned to love things like choral singing and playing flute#choral singing in college was so much better than high school bc it was for fun for everyone instead of the choral girls whole personality..#also the 'best' singers from my high school mostly aren't even in music today or doing any singing outside of karaoke...#at least i wrote a whole ass ep last year???#and ive written much more music that i havent released#idk rambling tags make it sound like the identity struggle never ends but dissociating and forgetting portions of ur life doesnt help lol#t#okay bye
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I've had a pitch crush on someone for a while! I really hate them! >:)
But one of our hatefriends just told me they might be pale for me? >:O
If they are, what do I do??? How do I make them hate me properly? :(
I don't pity them! I don't even know why they pity me! Or if they even really do! :?
It's really confusing and I don't want to have to reject them and then have to try and ask them out! That's not gonna go well!!! >:(
yeah i dont know that sounds awful i think personally id just die
questionable advice: either try upping the annoyingness and going all out with pitch flirting or just sit them down and just actually ask them if they pity you or not maybe youll get lucky and they dont but either way at least youll know right so that sucks a little less than not knowing
bad advice: kill their lusus maybe thatll make them really mad at you
#pitch stuff#asks#this sounds like a mess idk good luck#this is not very thumbs up emoji#the friend who told you might definitely be fucking with you though anyway#if we go big conspiracy theorist style i have friends who would totally do that on purpose to embarrass me#and try and get the other guy to make fun of me for asking such a stupid question#to see if they can get pitch shit started between me and my crush#but maybe your friends are less insane#actually you should have mentioned that before sending this ask#whats the normalness level of your friends#on a scale from my friends to creepily normal#where do they fall#my little hoofbeast style or absolutely would play 10d chess for literally no reason#this is way too many tags lmfao no ones gonna read this#i just got into it i guess#plus no way am i gonna move this to the post itself now after this#i opened this can of sharks now i gotta jump it#hey if anyone would read all of these tags itd be grey actually right#hi grey <3<#whats up hows it going
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gonna start subjecting u lot to my rambling abt classic viet authors
#bakuspeech#nhân văn+giai phẩm#thats gonna be the tag I guess#anyways. idk shit abt shakespeares. gonna give yall a taste of what that feels like#jk that's mean I just like rereading this stuff once in a while#it's fun! I'm recovering from viet public literature education on main now#like. idk sometimes I talk to foreign friends and we both realize how we each are privy to#hundreds to thousands of years of stories and records and writing#that the outside world knows basically nothing about.#it's insane to me every time. I'm entering vibe mode. I will never shut up again#I feel like in ~5yrs I will become the most wrong person about nguyễn trãi specifically#and I need to own it early. so this is actually not gonna be a learning moment for anyone#actually tho it's so funny I'm invested in nguyễn trãi as a historical figure I don't even like his writing#it's mid! sad to say this but it's aight at best. nguyễn khuyến is much more my speed#and YOU will learn what all of that just now means! one of these days! when I get to it!#for now. oh baby we are gonna talk so much shit.
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what a joy how we have watched ourselves change and grow up.
i remember how my friends text me late at night, "i just found..." i find old pictures captioned "player one" and suddenly winter break feels lonely without them. there was a summer me and him stopped talking, and we came back different people. to me, he seemed happier. to him, "you've changed."
there are great halls in my head painted with murals of the people i love. historic monuments are dedicated to everything they have ever done for me. oil-painted birds soar the ceiling and perch on oil-painted branches, their calls bouncing off the marble dome vault. i recognize the sounds and call their names back to them as i pass. behind me i close the door on a boy who loves trees and ahead i see an empty chamber, its walls blank canvas.
my brush is light in my hand and i begin to paint my new favorite bird—a bearded vulture.
welcome to the world, atlas!
#my writing#writing#prose#poetry#is this poetry?#i like the idea of my brain being a city#or a labyrinth#and each wall is painted with my memories from different times my life#i think i've run out of room in this hall#so i'm moving on to the next one#but it's somewhat comforting that even when we change as people some things will stay the same in between#i've wanted to be an ornithologist for four years now.#through everything that's changed and moved around in my life i think that it's insane that that's still the goal i'm working towards#so i guess it's not other people changing that scares me#it's more like. i like that something in me has stayed the same when everything is shifting around me#that i can still have the same comforts and come home to the same bedroom and watch the same shows and have the same dreams#sometimes it feels like the world is moving too fast.#whoops. tags got kind of long.#anyway#first actual post excluding my intro so i guess we can consider this my debut piece?#welcome to the world!
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I am insanely in Love with this drawing. Tumblr likes to botch the resolution tho, so if you want to see it in its full glory please click it (or open it in another tab, that also works)
#Sure it looks less like it is made of copper and more like it was made of brass but hey#For that sweet lighting effects? I can move past that#Also I am so so insanely proud of the lighting like look at it#Sure the dual light sources were on accident when playing around with some shading ideas but hey#And the lack of background is a little annoying to me but my art software would have crashed if I added any more layers with effects#This is part of a bigger project (an animation/story that I am entirely writing and animating in my pirated Powerpoint programm)#Do not ask me how it works for it took me 2 weeks to finish the current 8 slides (because of University etc)#And also do not ask me why I am using Powerpoint#Frame by Frame animations drive me insane (and I have no software to actually do that in) and I don't know how to work blender yet#Ahem anyway#My actual tags now#Uhhhh#Robots#robot oc#ocs#... Skull?#Man I don't know how am I supposed to tag this#tender and loving affection for your dead and long gone creator but you are a robot/program that only gained sentience after their death#How about that huh#(first one to correctly guess the two things the design for the robot was inspired by gets. A cookie. Two cookies... My lemoncake recipe)#digital art
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#oh for fucks sake#if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g#she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up#which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc#and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour#'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest#b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt#c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit#not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT#i gotta get out of here#this woman is so immensely hateful#ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative#ableism#verbal abuse#ask to tag
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I'm gonna say it…
… Wish they'd just let Wincroft at Adalind.
#Firebird Opinions#not tagging the show bc apparently she's everyone's darling now I guess???#bc fuck Marie and Hank and gods know how many other people she got killed or died bc of her or what not#like at least Renard got called out a little (I don't forgive him either)#but REALLY???#I loved Juliette and I just refuse to watch anything to do w/ her derailment#just to make room for that bitch bc hot blonde I guess#I know Nick's too good a man to have ever done it but#REALLY wish Wincroft had just killed her#would've saved everyone a lot of pain and I would not be crying#I went through and edited the ymmv page bc I was not gonna stand for this generalisation#not not everyone suddenly adored her and not all of is abandoned poor Juliette to bad writing choices#bc Clearly dying and being brought back and transformed into a Hexenbeist doesn't break you at all#Clearly Juliette did all those things in her right mind and under complete self control#but poor widdle baboo Addylind doing this shit of her own free will means she's so poor and sympathetic!#Juliette: goes through shit that would Very Much break a person's mind and Fuck Them Up/is driven insane by corrupting magic#Adalind: willingly tries to murder people probably helps arrange murders gets people hurt and killed for who knows how long of her own will#“majority” of the fandom: Adalind is so redeemable and tragic! Juliette is so horrible and irredeemable!#Me: what the ACTUAL FUCK#Things You Didn't Know Fire Was Into
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i do Not like the ending of a real rain im sorry this may be controversial.
i get what they're going for with hotch shooting the unsub. i get the foreshadowing of the past case where hotch talked a man down who was then acquitted and went on to kill again. i get the parallel of the unsub killing people who he feels were unfairly acquitted and then hotch killing him out of implied fear that he'll be acquitted by a sympathetic jury. but if you're going to attempt a parallel like that and have a character make a choice like that you need to commit to it i think? there's not even a conversation about it. i dont think it's ever brought up again, hotch doesn't even say anything.
one scene on the jet, if it was well-written enough, could make me accept the ending even if i dont like it, but no. the episode ends with hotch shooting a man who is surrendering and everyone is apparently fine with it?
(i'd like to note that this is a criticism of the writing, not hotch. i think this is an out-of-character choice without justification beyond "one time i talked a guy down and he got acquitted so this time ill shoot the guy as he surrenders. and then keep my job somehow". it just feels lazy and weird.)
#foyet is very different#i will admit ive not actually seen that ep but#i dont think i need to have watched it to say “beating a man to death after he kills your wife is different from whatever this is”#negative#i guess#idk what to tag#i do like this episode i just dont like this ending it doesnt sit right with me#and again without further justification it feels very out of character#like okay yeah#one time hotch didnt shoot a guy and he got acquitted and went on to kill again#but a LOT of the unsubs on the show have some reason behind what they do that could get them found ncr#or i guess “insane” in the states#should they just be shooting all those people?#again i get there is the added layer here of hotch enacting a flavour of vigilante justice on the vigilante#but again. for that parallel to work you need to commit to it#you cant just go “okay episode is over now lol.”#there are the ending news clips but those dont add anything new to me#im sorry im rambling#i just dont like this ending#disclaimer that i am canadian and we dont even have life w/o parole much less the death penalty so that is affecting my viewpoint probably#criminal minds rewatch#criminal minds s01e17#a real rain#not tagging the gen criminal minds tag or the hotch tag because. i dont know. this is a little more negative than my usual ramblings#criminal minds 1x17
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