#I FORGOT TO FUCKING TAG THEIR NAME 😭
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starrysharks · 1 year ago
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"everything's connected, you know! all those unsolved deaths in this town - it was ghosts, i'm sure of it!"
onion, the tritagonist of reassassination. a nerdy and somewhat naiive teen with a deep obsession for everything paranormal, they run the blog 'surREAL investigations' to tell the world - or their 6 followers, at least - the truth about the supernatural.
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hugs-and-stabbies · 9 months ago
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The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT
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unfinishedslurs · 7 months ago
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The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?
“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.
He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.
She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.
Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.
She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”
“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”
“Then what is it?”
“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”
Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.
The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”
Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.
He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.
“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.
Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.
Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.
In an instant, Leia understands everything.
Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.
Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.
Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.
“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”
“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”
“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”
“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”
He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”
“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”
“Yes it is.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.
“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”
“But—“
It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.
She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?
Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.
It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.
Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“
She makes a decision then and there.
“We’re leaving.”
“What?”
“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.
“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”
“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”
He salutes and scurries off.
“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”
“And you trust this person because…”
“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”
It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.
He squints at her. “That’s not it.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”
“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.
“Well?”
Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.
“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”
He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.
“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”
What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.
“So there’s good news and bad news.”
“Bad news first,” she demands.
“They know there’s a mole.”
“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”
“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”
Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”
“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”
“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”
“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”
“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”
“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.
Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.
Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.
Unless he didn’t.
It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.
But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.
The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.
Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.
Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.
Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.
Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.
“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”
“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.
“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”
A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”
“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”
More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”
“I figured it out.”
“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.
“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”
“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.
“What?”
“Stand back. Please.”
Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.
“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.
The TIE explodes.
“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.
And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.
“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.
As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.
Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.
Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”
“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”
“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”
“Should I be offended?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”
“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”
He snorts. “Yeah, right.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker#han solo#leia organa#imperial luke skywalker#exactly when luke was taken by the empire is totally up to speculation it could honestly be anywhere from newborn to 5#as for why luke has his dad’s blue lightsaber here instead of like a red one or smth- well you see your honor I thought it would be a slay#but also when you think about it for more than 5 seconds you’re like actually yeah that’s sick and twisted of palpatine and vader actually#you’re carrying your fathers most treasured weapon#you don’t know your father once fought the rise of the very empire you stand to inherit with that blade. you don’t know who he defended#you don’t know your father brought about the end of the republic with that same weapon#he killed the younglings with it. he fought his closest companion with it#you’re carrying what was once your fathers most treasured weapon. you are your fathers most treasured weapon#just as your father is a weapon now#also I didn’t make it clear but obi-wan has his ‘strike me down and I become stronger’ moment like he still dies on purpose to cause proble#but when he saw luke he couldn’t look away. he had to see him with living eyes one last time#can u tell I had So Many Thoughts on everyone else’s perspective in this fic too#han is having a constant crisis in the background because 1) force is real 2) princess is annoying AND pretty which sucks for him#in particular and 3) pretty princess is learning to use the force and is hot while doing it. Chewie is laughing at him. life is hell#good lord did not mean to put an entire essay in the tags. i love their super special twin powers (cosmic entity that binds their souls)#edit: GUYS I FORGOT TO NAME THE FUCKING AU#AND WHEN I TRY AND FIX IT IT GLITCHES OUT ON MEEE 😭😭😭
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1967-shades-of-gray · 3 months ago
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Makes me so sad that Beatles fans can be so mean to Monkees fans. Peter Tork did not suck John Lennon's dick for this treatment. 🙄
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bunnygibson · 10 months ago
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baltharino · 6 months ago
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The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. 1x18 - "Hard Rock"
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cinnabeat · 5 months ago
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this is completely out of nowhere but i think i will be old and gray and it will be pkmn gen 79 and i will still be sitting there in my probable rocking chair saying "oh i cant wait until they make a pokemon special anime"
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crossbackpoke-check · 4 months ago
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find a blorbo (nhl tag game)
RULES: Go through the roster of each NHL team and find at least one player that you can root for.
tagged by @bondedpairs!! when i say too many teams to count and here for the narrative um. i may not have lied. this is not an extensive list of my blorbos but in order to make it not ten thousand years long i made up the rule that i had to do it straight from memory :)
anaheim ducks: as evidenced by recent events i DO like mason mctavish and trevor zegras but i have to honor laura and mention troy terry and beloved goalie gibbie*
boston bruins: oh for sure brad marchand… can i say patrice? one of the charlies got traded but i think mcavoy is still there because gryz is gone, brandon carlo is there still i think
buffalo sabres: cozens & thompson, owen power, rasmus dahlin, ukko pekka luukkonen
calgary flames: is chris tanev still here? is markstrom still here?? noah hanifin?? as a last resort i’ll say blasty
carolina hurricanes: aho & jarvy & teuvo teravainen & brent burns is still playing maybe? i know sepe got traded
chicago hockey: the bedsy narrative is compelling but ANDREAS ATHANASIOU MY BELOVED reunited with tyler bertuzzi… that’s the real story. also i like foligno
colorado avalanche: gabe landeskog, whatever ross colton & miles wood have going on, natemac + jo, mikko
columbus blue jackets: have long been on the merzlikins train, have been swayed to the darkside of umich boys (brindley, kent johnson, fantilli, blankenburg who is now on nsh)
dallas stars: seggy! mush! roope + miro and otter and robo and wyjo (rip ty dellandrea) and harls! etc.
detroit red wings: MOST players. dilly larks, moritz seider, jv, raymond, rasmussen, kitty, lyon, etc except for k*ne
edmonton oilers: mcdrai, ofc. nugent-hopkins, nursey, rip vinny & skinny
florida panthers: tkachuk, reinhardt, sasha barkov, verhaeghe (is there still?)
los angeles kings: adrian kempe… kevin fiala… danault… quinton byfield & alex turcotte
minnesota wild: kirill, marat, fleury, brodes, fabes, boldy, moose, middsy, spurge… god’s perfect idiots
montreal canadiens: going out on a limb here to say martin st. louis but also xhekaj (both), slafkovský, suzuki, my austrian reinbacher, yes fine cole caufield
nashville predators: MOST BEAUTIFUL D PAIR IN THE WORLD GRADY SKJEI AND ROMAN JOSI!! juuse, evangelista, isn’t stamkos there and also someone else who absolutely should not be
new jersey devils: nico… tuna (tatar), dawson mercer, siegenthaler, dougie hamilton, yes the hugheses whatever
new york islanders: barzy, zeeker & marty, anders lee, noah dobson lol
new york rangers: mika & chris, lafrenière & k’andre, shesterkin
philadelphia flyers: frosty & beezer and tk and sanny and the new baby michkov and coots and scooty loots and foerster etc etc. you know the Guys
pittsburgh penguins: the two headed monster but also compelled by rutger mcgroarty, and kevin hayes was there!!!
ottawa senators: timmy stü & brady! josh norris! the evolution of shane pinto! ullmark now and brännström and claude giroux and chabot
san jose sharks: ekky, thrun, mario, borde, logan couture, shakir, that other vaguely blond rookie
seattle kraken: brandon tanev, andre burakovsky! grubauer & d’accord also
st. louis blues: jordan kyrou, nathan walker (is still there?), rob thomas? is parayako still there?
tampa bay lightning: hedman, point, they dumped so many guys after the cup run… is kucherov still there or is he in nashville?? anthony cirelli (notable for being made out with by pat maroon)
toronto maple leafs: mitch, jt, willy, alex nylander, kniesy, dewar, et
utah hockey: crouse, keller, tuba
vancouver canucks: quinn, brock, petey, jt, garly, höggy, i want to say dakota johnson, elias lindholm?
vegas golden knights: brandon montour is here now… alex pietrangelo, so sorry to one i can’t remember who loves the lions it will come back to me
washington capitals: full of love and stupidity. oshie, nicke/ovi, pierre-luc dubois, dowd, vrána, milano
winnipeg jets: adam lowry!! josh morissey and kc and morgan barron, also vladdy my beloved
tagging @stillfertile + @colap1nto + @songsandswords + @moregraceful if they haven’t done it yet, i know they follow at least a couple teams. if anybody else wants to play i love adopting blorbos!!
#it is literally my DREAM to get challenged by someone about how many hockey guys i can name because i am a freak like that#and i make up arguments in my head for fun. please Try Meeeee#me when i wear all of my different crewnecks out & make up an imaginary argument where i have to list five guys from every team… ok why not#in doing this i hope i expose so many of you to narratives and also don’t show my ass because we’re at the point in the season where i go#‘he got traded WHERE???’ & i forget where everyone got moved around 🫡 everyone who watches a game has to deal with me regularly going WAIT#tag games#liv in the replies#this is secretly just a love letter to everyone i follow who got me invested in these narratives. i WILL adopt ur interests &speech pattern#and like. it very much does NOT even come close to reflecting the narratives i have and will be invested in#hated my own rule as soon as i made it but it prevented me from creating an even MORE elaborate set of rules which was like. would you#actually root for this guy playing hockey vs are these all narrative characters so you need to them be able to back it up with a fic#which. given that it’s BLORBO i was like none of them are about to named on the basis of their hockey and also i am a giant hater#if you’re playing the red wings i want you to lose if the red wings are out i cannot guarantee who i will root for. it is up to The Spirit#this took me too long… worth it#like I don’t know as if i’ll ever make a proper pinned post but this is high in contention simply for the fact that i just Talk about Guys#you guys missed the part where i tried to do it in alphabetical order but completely forgot all teams that started with a p and colorado#among other teams and then i had to google ‘32 nhl teams’ because i could not for the life of me figure out who i was missing. rip ottawa#which is so funny because i love so many guys on their team. like. this list is such evidence of my BLANKING on the spot under pressure.#*everyone who saw this say stolarz no you didn’t. listen i knew ONE of them had gotten traded 😭 and literally during the pre-season det/tor#game today i heard ‘stolarz’ and went OH FUCK NO OH NO and wheezed my way here to fix it.
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greatbridge · 9 months ago
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presenting:
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my little guy.
persona time baybeee
he’s an alien that looked at human gender and went Hey I Want In On That and now he’s a guy. Just like me fr
picrew under the cut!
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Made by the lovely @wasyago !
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artificialcaretaker · 1 month ago
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Third wheeling w a toxic couple is litttt 😩😭😂 i be like stop yall! 😭😭
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[Kids these days don’t like normal shit bruh wtf is WHIPLASH 2014 😭😭😭
Anyways shoutout to my mommy and papa for getting me a drawing tablet this Christmas this is the second thing I did on it after drawing Devonte my son Devonte I love my son Devonte :]
Fr tho I’m actually really liking it!! Being a pointer finger artist is a bit strenuous if I’m being honest I’m glad I’ve got more options now!!
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sadiecoocoo · 1 year ago
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Rewatching Ultimate Spider-Man, a show made that was practically made for multishippers, really makes me see all the subtle things I missed that totally aren’t making me fall in love with another spidey ship
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fallinggravity678 · 10 months ago
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Hey there! What’s your favorite episode of Bob’s Burgers that no one ever seems to talk about? (I actually don’t know if I sent you an ask, I REMMEBER trying to find your side blog but couldn’t spell it right 😭)
Lol no worries, this is my first time receiving this ask from you!
My sideblog is @zer0ogravity, but I'm way more active on this account (also I dont think I can receive asks from a sideblog) so sending it here was probably the best choice lol.
Anyway, favorite underrated episode...
I need to rewatch all of these still but I did like "The Show (and Tell) Must Go On" idk it was just very cute and the season 1 callback was nice. Also the B plot was really fun sfsvdg. Overall a really fun easy watch. It also inspired one of my first bobs burgers fics I've written (but haven't posted) it's not finished yet but I wanna finish it soon. It explores Tina and Louise's relationship and it's really important to me <3 one day I'll finish it
Honorary mention to Putts-giving for, while being a pretty weak thanksgiving episode (I often forget its about thanksgiving even though its in the title sgsgdg) it had a very chill plot with a good Tina and Louise plot (gravity falls might"ve made me develop a soft spot for mini golf episodes...)
Okay last one I promise, idk if The Gene and Courtney Show counts, but im gonna mention it anyway cause its sooo cute and it made Courtney one of my favorite side characters, shes so silly i love her <33
Theres a lot more I didnt mention (some of which were already mentioned by other people) but for a show with as many episodes as this one theres always a bunch of episodes that dont end up getting discussed much in favor of other episodes.
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nspolaris · 10 months ago
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read the sunshine court and have never been more impatient in needing a second book my god
#tsc#tsc spoilers#tagging bc im talking in the tags but holy fuck im ngl i came into the book as a jerejean shipper but now im shipping him with EVERYONE#him and renee were so sweet god i cant#him taking her photo and thinking about rainbows 😭#but also excited for my man Jeremy bc he's got layersTM like an onion#need to know why he doesn't like his family and if he ever confides in Jean to convince Jean to confide in him#but also them oggling each other was hilarious#jean said his name once and had jeremy kicking his feet and twirling his hear#jean's braim shutting off whenever jeremy is shirtless avdhdj#need them to get together but i love Jean and his story and im so glad i reread aftg before reading this book#obsessed with jerejean as individuals and i love how much Jean appreciates the othrler Trojans#GAAAAH#also heart was in my ass when Grayson attacked Jean and thank god my boy neil sent out a hit on that fucker#also people realizing neil looks insane to other people like um yes...literally everytime he opens his mouth even in his POV#he says some scary shit bro 💀#adding more tags bc i forgot to talk about kevin but i also can't get over their angst its just so good#their time together at evermore and jean teaching him french only for it to be the used against him by accident#they're too fucked up to ever really be friends again but they've both got their own support systems now#thinking about them meeting to do the interview ... chewing on glass#i have to go ravage ao3 now
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hauntingblue · 8 months ago
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Inuyasha and kagome help.... inuyasha and kagome save me....
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merrrrrrrrry · 2 years ago
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Happiest Birthday! 🌸 Hope it was filled with love and warmth!
Thank you so so much 💕💕💕 it was filled with love and food. The bestest
Hope you're having a fantastic day💕💕💕
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shalom-iamcominghome · 7 months ago
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I just remembered in the same conversation he mentioned liking Candice Owens and I popped a blood vessel explaining that she was too antisemetic to work at the Daily Wire
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My dad as of late: Did you know Ben Shapiro is a jew?!
Me on the inside:
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