#I DONT EVEN CARE IF THE FIC IS ALMOST 3 YEARS OLD IT STILL HAS A PLACE IN MY HEART 😭😭

[breadstiix]

recently re-read knifetrick again and decided to do a redraw of this old thang

[demise-seems-dead]

@askingkyborg's main here to being you another emo chip mini fic! Spoilers for 33-36 and SHHH i know it doesnt make sense timeline wise because they go straight to the vampspire from town but shut up no they dont

this will be posted on ao3 when i fix my account btws!!

also also heavilyly implied OCD chip because yes <3

TW: Suicidal actions, ideation, etc. also minor disordered eating talk.

‘Care to spar with me, mon ami?” Chip looks up from the campfire at that point, maybe for the first time all day. His eyes focused up on Mathilde, the bird's eyes glinting softly. Of course, if Chip was honest with himself, that was a flat out no. Chip wasn't in the mood for being tactical, which is normally his thing. The only thing he wanted was for everyone to leave him alone. His brain has been on autopilot for the past two days and all he's done is sleep, eat and walk.

Chip isn't dumb. He knows mathilde is just trying to get him to do something, but what's even the point any more?

“Sure. I’ll spar, but we both know I'll lose.” The forced smile on his face wavers a bit.

Chip stands up, popping his back with a deep crackle. He sighs gingerly, and unlatches his arm blade. He knows I'd be smarter to use his crossbow if mathilde is going to fly, but it's not like he was intending to win. Chip is not a bad fighter, of course. No, he's actually quite good. It's just hard to think about when your mind is static and ocean foam.

Absently he loosens his neck, one of his habits that never ceased to leave him from years of assassin work. He always seems to have a crick in his neck, but it’s not really surprising. Chip had found himself in and out of jails, hostage situations, and attempted murder more times than he could shake a stick at. His body was a wheat maze of scars and old wounds, of torture and strain. But it was all part of the job, or at least that's the half assed excuse he gave himself.

The other part of Chip's fight ritual was coming into his surroundings. He followed mathildes movements in the clearing with lidded eyes, focusing in on the world for the first time since-...

Mathilde was moving cockily, as they almost always do. Slowly and elegant, feathers smoothed and freshly preened, it looks like. Chip raises his heels up off the ground, eyes narrowing in, trying to get lighter on his feet. His own body is different, and he feels less familiar with it. He's lost weight recently- not having eaten in a few days- too sick to his stomach from the previous weeks to even think about it. It wasn't a lot, but his shouldie hung off him in a different way. It made him wish he still had his D.A.G.A.R suit for training. His hand smelt like wild onions, and the rest of him like ash. He's been lighting the campfires with his tiefling abilities lately, instead of using his boy scout training from his childhood. Using that fire always drained him, but he can't help but be glad it helps him pass out at night rather than lie awake. He needed to sleep, to sleep, to dream and fight it off for a while. It's been his only time of peace for quite some time.

A few more seconds till the battle begins, mathilde is counting down, but he doesn't dare let the sound get into his ears. You focus on your target and your target alone when you fight. He’ll read their beaks movements for days instead of breaking his focus if he needs to.

Chip repositions, moving his left side forward. Not only is it the hand he's got his armblade on, but it helps hide his weak spot- the crossbow wounds still healing from the previous night. Barney had given him some healing in between, but in the night he'd gently picked at it. The red stains have always calmed him down, and on himself no different. Red meant alive still, red was the enemy, but red meant weakened and ready to die. To embrace the people they miss… so…so…bad.

Mathilde moves, battle begins. He knows they're saying something snarky but he's too tuned out to regard it. He's watching and commanding from third person, and that's just how he wants it. Bob down, weave right. Mathilde lands a firm noncorporeal blow to his face, and he gasps out a little, breaking part of his concentration. A smooth trickle of blood drips from a now busted lip, and chip can't help but smile.

The chipper killer. That's what people used to call him, back in the day. Always had a smile when he killed, made jokes and jabs. This was basically the same, just less lethal. A laugh busts through chips teeth, and he smiles. Mathilde obviously looks a little shocked by his reaction. 

Chip plants his left foot, pressing all of his weight on his toes and not his heels to keep him flighty. He takes a slash with his arm blade. His eyes shut, but fly back open in seconds. Mathilde has a sting of blood dripping from the cut over his chest, red plumage soaking even redder. Chip laughs, and he sounds wild. A snarky insult comes to his lips but he presses it down.He can't cause hesitation, you hesitate you die. He needs to get his target. 

Chips' eyes are blurry, and he can hardly make out the figure in front of him. He's used to shots in the dark though. The blurriness backs up, and a sneer falls into his face. Kill. His ears flicker down a bit, and he moves forward. The kill drive of his nature was seizing him, hands steady and brain calculated. A stab at the shadows, voice howling in his own skull. “DIE!” 

Blood was splattered onto his hands, and it didn't matter whos it was. There's shouting all around him. He wants his target dead. He wants everything to die. He wants to die-

“CHIIIPPP!” a high pitched squeak breaks his brain, and the haze fades. The dark shadows reform, and suddenly he sees mathilde, blood dripping down their front and hands in front of their face, not in cowardice but in preparation for attack. An attack from him. 

Chips eyes shoot down at ellga, who was the one who snapped him out of it. His arm blade glistened in the draining sun, wet blood still on it. He looks up at mathilde, and the bird gives a sympathetic look at the absolute horror streaked across Chip's face.

“Mathilde i am so-’ “Don't be sorry, we were sparing, you just got a little into it is all. im fine, barney can heal me right up-”

“Already on it” the old man blurts, but looks at Chip with a spike of fear that makes the tiefling want to dry heave. 

“I-I-”

Chip runs a hand through his hair, unable to talk. He knew his killing nature was catching back up to him with carol dying, but now he's going back to how he was. 

Chip stumbles a little, back into ellga. He jumps forward and turns, pulling his hands all the way away. Sweat beads down in a streak off his chin.

‘IM- i- I'm gonna go forage-!” Chip announces with his most normal smile, his fakest smile, and turns on his heel. Mathilde makes a noise like they're going to talk, but just sighs, and it wills Chip into walking even faster in the opposite direction. He stumbles his way down the hill, moving away from the patch of grass they'd been at and into the main town of vania. He bumps into every person there, and several ask him if hes alright from the blood on his hands and his face. They don't know him, they don't know he's a monster. They don't know he's a friend hurter, or that he's the reason his wife is dead. They don't know anything, so Chip doesn't say anything. He just walks.

By the time the sun starts setting, Chip doesn't even know where he is. Vania isn't huge by any stretch of the imagination, but chip is already lost enough in his own mind to know where exactly he is in this unfamiliar place. After a while, he settles, tucked behind a building and hidden, breathing heavily.

He stares at the blood on his hands, and he twitches. Chip has never been a messy killer. Blood makes his hands itch, too wet then too dry. Dirty and disgusting. As much as he hates the smell of bleach, he always uses it for crime scenes. Blood was too dirty. Filthy, nasty, and wrong. He's been nervously rubbing his hands for hours, the blood mainly off, but still feeling like it's on there. He rubs some more at it, and curses under his breath.

He hurt his friend. 

He's a bad omen. An omen of death.

He's killed hundreds.

He's a bad person. An omen of death.

He's the reason his wife is dead.

He's a bad husband. An omen of death.

He's the real problem.

A monster. An omen of death. 

Why does he even bother being ALIVE? 

Chip sighs, running a hand through his hair and then wincing. Now that's contaminated too. Everything about him is dirty and wrong. Tears threaten his eyes, pushing into the corners and making a soft noise as they roll over his cheeks.Days of lapsing suicidal urges and injuries have snapped him into a terrible, terrible place.  Softly he presses his forehead onto his knees, feeling the cool scared up skin over his hot face.

He's not sure how long he rests but his dreams are uncomfortable. Swirling memories of killings past. Bad bad memories. They never bothered him before, but now he knows what it's like to lose somebody. Now he knows how much of a monster he really is. 

He's only ever startled awake by voices. Mushing noises of high and low pitches. He opened his eyes, and they flooded over with brightness. He stifled a groan, headache and ready airdropping into his skull and ears ringing like a kenku scream. His eyes focus, and he sees several balls of gleaming light, and his party in front of them. 

“What is tarnation…?” he grumbles, and the light speckles vanish, the sun's last entrails covered by mathilde spreading their wings. His eyes go up to his team mates who are staring at him with worry in their eyes. He winces distantly, feeling a spike of guilt as he sees mathildes feathers pushed out of place and puffed up. 

‘Oh.. uh… hey guys..” He rubs the back of his now sore neck.

“Chip crétin! Je devrais avoir ton visage pour ça, pourquoi diable m'enfuirais-tu comme ça, Ellga était inquiète, Barney était inquiet, j'étais inquiet d'avoir crié à haute voix ! Ce n'est pas si mal, je vais bien, c'est bien!” mathilde scolds in panicked sounding French, grabbing Chip by the collar of his hoodie and yanking him up.

 Ellga huffs. “Why’d you run off? It's fine! You two were having fun! It was a play fight. It's not real! Mathildes is not dead- well, they are, but it's unrelated!”

“I-” chip sighs heavily, shutting his eyes a bit. “You're right. Sorry. I guess…” chip searches for the words in his head, scrambling to think of what to say. Tiredness flushes over him in a wave, and he lets out a sigh, throwing his hands up. He lets his head embrace the wall behind him, and his horns click on it. 

‘I'm just.. I'm just so..so..tired.” he gives. “I didn't mean to hurtcha’ mathilde, I just got lost in my own head. Guess my…killer ways are catching up with me…” “Well you’d never intentionally hurt any of us. You told me coming into town that you're a good assassin.” Barney tries to encourage, but chips heart falls. “Yeah, well…is there really such a thing?I'm still a murderer” he chokes, and his body tingles with the feeling of blood splats from past kills all surging up and bubbling under his purple skin.

“Nonsense. Words are all made up, mon ami. One isn't worse than another. An assassin is a profession, and a murderer is apparently a death sentence to ‘za living. It dos’ant matt’ar! Those titles don't dictate who you a’hre, the people who love you do. And I say you're perfectly fine. We all do bad t’ings sometimes.” Chip sighs at mathildes word, ever wise in their later later years. “I suppose.” he says, not at all convinced. Ellga frowns, and it makes Chip want to bury his head in the vanian dirt. She turns to the alchemist, who Chip had almost forgotten about.

“Mr alchemist, do you have any cures for sadness?” “Not…quite, ellga, but i have somethings that may help, if chip here is willing.” The room pauses, and all eyes form onto Chip. “Awh, what da heck..?”

“Give me your arm blade.”

“What?” Chip stares at Robert like he's crazy. “Just hand it to me.” Chip sighs, and unties the arm band to it and tosses it over to the alchemist, who catches deftly. He looks at it for a moment, and then tucks it into his bag.

“How's that supposed to help? That's my best stealth weapon.'' Chip finds himself grumbling.

“Exactly. That way if you try to hurt yourself, you don't have anything silent to do it with.”

“Oh.” He momentarily wants to fight off the claim, but the arrow wounds in his foot and his lower neck burn with a shot of pain to remind him. 

“Okay.”

“Besides that-” Robert continues momentarily, digging around in his bag, tophat sliding down his head, “I've got a potion I want you to try. It should help.”

He extends out a vial filled with a shimmering blue liquid. Chip extends a gloved hand, and takes it. He removes the cap with a pop, and tips it back. He drains the liquid in a quick motion, and wipes the corner of his mouth.

“I don't feel any different. I just feel really tired and useless, mainly.” He says, and his head flinches back at his own words. Robert smiles, and taps the vile.

“Truth telling serum. Now you can't hide anything from us.” he pats his shoulder as he chuckles.

Chip goes to scold, but realises everything would get turned on its head when he says it. 

Mathilde snickers. "There isn't any way to heal depression with a potion, but now our too clever rogue cant hide anything from us.”

“You guys are my favourite people.” chip sighs, exasperatedly. Ellga squeezes his hand.

“Come on, let's go to the vampspire. Maybe seeing my home will cheer you up.”

“Yeah… maybe it will.”

[emperorcartagia]

thoughts about my oc/canon stuff under the cut.

so. aurellio and refa. aurellio was essentially born as a joke, saying "what if i made a centauri oc lmfao" and also, "what if, as a parallel to londo and adira, refa had his own dancer in a pre-canon timeline back home on centauri prime and they were both boys!" since yknow. refa is such an effective foil to londo i figured it would be a fun, kinda cute idea.

i also think it does narratively fit in well with b5. take londo, who isnt the best example but we see him commit all these horrible acts but we know about his love for adira, before we even see him start to reform or even start to really commit atrocities we know he has a heart. we find this out in the third episode. spectacularly done.

a better example of this would actually be bester, one of my other absolute favorite side villains. bester was never redeemed. bester, however, is given opportunities for the audience to see his heart. irt his family, his expectant lover, and his somewhat emotional reactions to the telepaths dying in season 5, though caused by him. we still hate him, he never gets redeemed, his love for the people in his life does still exist and doesnt excuse or justify his actions. it gives him a lot of depth that i also really enjoyed!

that is kind of what i'm trying to do with refa. aurellio is a late 20 something year old centauri who is majorly unaware of what refa is doing or does or will do in relation to his schemes to rise to power. i also think that in this pre-canon timeline (around 2253-2257) is when refa is doing little things to slowly climb to where we see him in the show. he always had a lot of power being the lord of his house so he didnt need to do much, but i think the ten or so years leading up to his appearance in the show was a slow, hands-off rise to power. so aurellio, who has no real relation to House Refa aside from being a patron, isnt involved or knowledgeable about house refa's politics.

i would get into the "refa is a good family man" headcanon i have but tldr: celes was his last wife because he chose her. he chose her because he genuinely loved her and he chose to have senna. his other wives and his other children operate moreso like londos wives and him did where there was no love and only obligation. so senna and celes get favored. senna cared enough about her father to throw rocks at londos head years later about it, so i think that they did have a good relationship. refa spoiled her, would do anything for her, which was strange for a noble centauri man to be so obsessed with his youngest daughter. maybe he knew she was always destined for greatness. weh. and well, when this baby is like "dad, i wanna be a ballerina" like most 3 year old girls want to be, he says "of course my love, let me find you the best teacher possible": enter aurellio. who he chooses. who senna also chooses.

so yknow. refa gets a boy toy as a treat. aurellio is almost a part of his family as a treat. they kinda sorta love each other, as a treat, and it also works with aurellio's unconventional relationships he has with his lesbian wife bestie and her twin, the actual love of his life. so like yay centauri polyamory.

i just feel like sometimes i have to justify doing what i'm doing with my oc/canon stuff bc 1. it's refa🤢 and 2. ive been in fandoms before that were hostile to me about liking villains And trying to expand on them and make them more than what the show gives us. im VERY satisfied with refa's character in the show. these headcanons arent filling a void that was missing because i dont think they needed to be expanded on in canon, i just like refa/the centauri/my centauri oc and expanding on centauri lore is fun. so 🤷‍♂️

if you wanna read my fic about aurellio and refa, here it is

i will also say i really do appreciate the kind words ive gotten about this because lol i was nervous about it due to previous experiences where stuff about not only my taste for the villains but also my ocs has gotten me harassed, vagued, made fun of to my face, etc. so thank you for being so kind 💫 i'm so happy aurellio is loved because i love him a lot as well.

[guardianofthestarz]

this year my goal was to read at least 25 books (which now seems too easy) and i decided to start with rick's books cuz i loved pjo

(i then realized i had actually never finished the pjo series - i didnt finish the LAST book... thats crazy)

i went on yt and found a vid that showed the RIGHT way to read all his books so my journey started.

anyway blah blah blah, i wanted to talk about the kane chronicles

obv spoilers if you havent read those and if you care

hell nah. that series was so bad 😭😭 (imo ofc and ill explain why i think so)

i should mention that i read the first and third book, but i only read half of the second book cuz it got very looooooong and boring to me (i just read the wikipedia summary for it)

also the only reason i read these books was cuz i knew there would be a collab between the magicians and demigods and that sounded rly interesting to me!

im usually not that picky when it comes to books/fics/anything so i was surprised i didnt like these books. first of all theyre so long, and for what.. the world ends in 3, 4, 5 days yet each book is 90k words at best and 120k-ish words at worst. it just dragged ooooooon and onnnnn and onnnnnnnnnn. i thought maybe its just the length that im not used to (even tho ive read way longer fics but i thought maybe its not the same..) then i started reading the heroes of olympus series which was a similar length and i sped thru those. which prob means that the kane chronicles were just boring. i was gonna say that it just felt like there were attacks and fights just cuz, but then again, thats kinda similar to percy jackson books. i cant put my finger on why some fights felt kinda useless and filler.. unlike in pj books. also when they beat apophis it felt too easy. there was so much build up to that final battle, and in the end he got destroyed in like half a page or smt.. not satisfying! and since we know the kane siblings are still alive (cuz of the recording being sent etc), it didnt feel like there was anything at stake.

the egyptian mythology was actually pretty interesting, i did like learning about it. however, at times there was just a LOT of info being dumped- so many gods/stories etc that i had a hard time remembering everything. i think w the percy jackson/greek mythology books there was just more time for rick to set the scene and build the world so it didnt feel that overwhelming (even tho it was still a lot, im ngl).

and now my biggest complaint... i thought rick could write powerful female characters butttttttttt maybe that was just annabeth LOL. SADIE WAS SO ANNOYING!!!!!! she was SO unlikeable but i think we werent supposed to dislike her??? yeah shes young but so was percy and annabeth and every demigod from the pjo series and they were much more enjoyable to read about. all she cared about was guys. more specifically, sadie, a 12yo, was head over heels for ANUBIS, a THOUSAND YEAR OLD god, who oh yeah,,, looked like a 16yo guy but idk if its just me, thats still a WEIRD/uncomfy AGE DIFFERENCE 😭shes so lucky that she ended up w basically both guys she had a crush on, but she still made it such a big deal when that happened.

like anubis had stabbed her in the back or smt lmfao. also should mention that in the pjo books for ex., percabeth didnt just happen when they were 12/13... a long time passed so that relationship could feel unrushed and natural.

dont get me wrong, liking a guy etc is all normal and very teenage-y (even tho sadie wasnt even a teenager when all this happened). but making that MOST of her personality, or smt she constantly thought about and prioritized during the END OF THE WORLD. she just seemed very irresponsible and immature (which makes sense cuz shes a child.... maybe i shouldnt be reading these books as an almost 20yo) (but i can still tell when some1 has annoying qualities objectively) (even if its still a kids book)

idk thats just annoying. carter was tryna save the day/world and sadie had other things in her mind. or when she wanted to go hang out w her friends for her bday even tho the world was ending VERY soon and they had to get going. yeah she wants to be a normal kid but rn theres more important things you gotta think about bbg (and yes i do understand that the dance or her bday hang out would help w morale but at least be on the look out for stuff and dont think that youre not still on the job and most likely putting every1 in danger..). save the world first, then enjoy your life. maybe take a cake to go while youre traveling. maybe call your besties and talk to them on the phone for an hour or whatever

carter wasnt perfect, but even his obsession w zia wasnt THAT bad. it felt more normal and smt the reader (or i) could get behind and not dislike him too much for.

(when carter said that i thought he was in my head cuz i was literally thinking that sadie always leaves him to deal w important stuff)

i feel like theres more i had to say but theres too much negativity in this post already LOL im sorry 😭 this trilogy wasnt a 0 or 1 star, it was closer to 2 or maybe even 3. i didnt mind ignoring most of these. the only thing i couldnt ignore was sadie's attitude sometimes and ofc the weird relationship between her and anubis, but when walt showed up etc i had hope and it did get slightly better!

ofc im not a writer and i couldnt prob never write anything half as good as any of rick's books, but this is just my experience as the reader. as i mightve mentioned , rn im reading the heroes of olympus books for the first time and im enjoying them quite a lot!

lmk if you agree or disagree w anything, i usually change my mind somewhat easily so id love to see this series from some1 else's pov

[tyonfs]

besties (gone sexual) was so good!!!!! i wasn’t expecting it to be as huge as it was (literally fell asleep at 4:30 am last night trying to finish it but i still had like a third left 😭) but it was soooo worth it!!! it also didn’t feel like it was that huge tho??? a lot of stuff happened but you did so good at explaining and why. even the 3 times jaemin got puked on, that was some beautiful karmic timing imo. speaking of karma i think the amount of bad luck jaemin has to suffer was such a good way to keep him redeemable despite sometimes an absolute douchebag. a lovable douchebag tho. the amount of times i cackled in this fic tho!!! obviously the other installments of bitch hunters werr humorous too, but the addition of jisung, sungchan, yangyang, and hendery coming it to occasionally dunk on jaemin, too, when he deserves it was just *chef’s kiss*. i also think the length is justified because their situation is more complicated and nuanced than jeno and renjun who were just getting to know new people, and even hyuck who was making his situation complicated himself. jaemin and oc have so much history between them, literal years of friendship and complicated feelings. it’s kinda obvious by the end that the reason for jaemin douchebagginess to a lot of those girls was because he was so in love with oc and refusing to even consider that as possibility so he just rejects the idea of a relationship because also being with someone else seems impossible. ngl i did choke up a little when he makes the conclusion that in order to let his best friend try to be in a happy relationship, he has to extract himself from the equation because he wouldn’t be able to even be her friend in that circumstance. he didn’t have to make her cry tho!! but as someone who can also be a little emotionally constipated i understand that line of thinking. needless to say i really enjoyed this fic. i previously said and they were roommates was my favorite installment was my favorite but ngl, besties gone sexual might be giving it run for its money 👀 i’m always going to have a weak spot for long-time-best-friends-turned-friends-with-benefits-turned-lovers. i’m also feeling so nostalgic now that the series is over!! i’m gonna miss the bitch hunters universe, there’s so much stuff i’m curious about, especially the og bitch hunters because these four made them sound almost…mythical. and then there’s mark. love how jaehyun just came in to give jaemin a rewording of the centuries old saying of “it’s meant to be it will come back to you eventually” and jaemin acted like it was the greatest revelation ever simply because it came from him. anyways, whew, this turned out longer than i intended it to but i just have so many thoughts. also it fitting for such a long story. anyways, i’m done. this was such treat to read as always. i hope you’re having a lovely day, take care!!! 😘💗

OMG IM SORRY IT KEPT YOU UP THAT LONG 😭😭 PLS READ IT IN BREAKS I DONT WANNA RUIN UR SLEEP 🤲 wait lemme put the rest of my response under the cut it’s a bit long 😵‍💫

ppl say my writing doesn’t feel like a lot, which i think is a good thing?? so maybe that’s why HAHHA but i promise it was 43k words i’m not capping 😰 LMAODJF jaemin truly deserved to be puked on 😭 especially when he started drinking after renjun was seeing god on the couch 🧎‍♀️

ahh yesyes i think so too!! i think they needed a bit more development to figure out their problems and situations, unlike jeno and renjun who were meeting their love interests for the first time 🥹 and then hyuck’s dilemma was more of an internal thing that he had to get over himself, but jaemin’s situation was a lot more messy and tangled. i’m rlly glad you liked the additions of other characters tho!! i love writing jisung tbh so i thought he would be funny to include HAHAH and his dynamic with jaemin is kinda wholesome in my eyes :’)

HONESTLY i’m a little emotionally constipated so there might have been some projection in this fic!! it’s true he definitely had (kinda??) good intentions for distancing himself from mc, but he went about it the wronggg way and made her cry 😭 LIKE BOOOOOO 👎👎🍅🍅🍅

WOWOW that actually makes me so happy to hear that besties (gone sexual) might be your fav in the series :’) hyuck’s installment and jaemin’s are definitely my fav and i’m just a sucker for best friends to lovers 🤧 it’s such a sweet trope but can segway into a lot of misunderstandings and angst HAHAH

HAHAHAH THEY WORSHIP THE OGS 🥲 “these four made them sound almost… mythical. and then there’s mark” I CACKLED LMFAOO yeah mark was NOT part of the og squad so he doesn’t get the legendary pokémon type treatment 😭🤚 it’s a good thing renjun didn’t witness that conversation or else he would’ve beaten jaemin up after for ignoring him the entire time until jaehyun parroted his words LOL

but thank you love for taking the time to write all of this and send it to me!!! it makes me so happy that you had so much to share about my fic and it literally had me rereading with a huge smile on my face :’)) i hope you’re having a wonderful day/night and taking care 💜💜

[philtstone]

Bucky, 5

#5 -- barefoot in the kitchen so there were like 3 separate directions i could take this prompt and i cycled through a few of them before landing here -- one version got mostly written and then tumblr ATE it, which may have contributed to the sudden left turn into Big Angst territory -- and, basically, i am just throwing this out there and trying not to overthink it. the prompt is supposed to be bucky centric. for context, this ficlet is a direct follow up to this chapter of "all i wanna do is wash your clothes", in which an old hydra lab record of bucky's reconditioning process gets leaked onto the internet for 24 hours. i dont want to colour the fic in the wrong light but pls note this is rated a hard t and involves a pretty involved panic attack and mentions of dissociation and mild/momentary hallucinations. a lot of this thing attempted to be an exercise in show don't tell, which may have worked OR may have turned it into a collection of moments in a trench coat with no clear through line. sorry in advance for the angst, i am not a licensed mental health professional but do have a healthcare background, bucky is an unreliable narrator with specific opinions on and understandings of his issues, and i hope u enjoy. also, apparently without a shred of context i decided to really commit to the blade references? idk, it's almost halloween. <3

The difference between wisdom and paranoia, Bucky’s always said, is knowing when to leave the house.

Well — he hasn’t always said it. But in the past seven years or so, it’s definitely come up.

He’s not a recluse, is the point that he makes to Sarah, three days before the Trader Joe's Incident. It’s just you can never be too careful these days. By you he means she and the boys because if he is paranoid about anything it’s dragging his horrors into their already complicated life.

Sarah says for the tenth time (it is really the second time, but it’s been implied plenty), “You’re not dragging anything anywhere. I invited you in, baby.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Bucky mumbles, staring at the innocent salt shaker on the table like he’s trying to commune with it. “People do that with vampires and look where it gets them.”

“I thought Sam said that was a myth,” she says, buttering a piece of toast. “On account of the —”

“We agreed to not bring up that guy again.”

She grins sympathetically, and for a moment the surreal hell of their last week disappears. It is just Sarah and her cute cupcake-print pajamas (emblazoned with a cheesy sugar related pun across her breasts) and his own bare feet against the kitchen tile in the hour before bed.

“Because he gave you the heebie jeebies —” she starts, indulgent, and he knows she is smiling like that because they both could not deny he was a handsome bastard and also dressed like someone of of the Matrix, which Bucky has not yet seen, all to say added insult to the injury of Bucky’s seventeen-year-old phobias materializing out of nowhere.

“Sarah,” he says, and Sarah sighs. 

“B. We’ve been over this. I’ll tell you if it gets too much.”

“And, and this isn’t … too much?” This, the twenty-four hours in which she and the world were intimately exposed to Bucky’s tenure as some cross between Frankenstein’s monster and those rats scientists used to experiment on before research ethics boards were a thing. Also, his tenure as a killing machine. But at least that wasn’t in the video. 

Sarah hasn’t seen it. She says so, and he believes her. 

“I still think you need to be careful,” he continues, before she can reply. “People will want — well there’s fallout, anyway, and people talk – they talk, and they know you. You have a business to be thinking of—”

“Here,” Sarah says, “eat this.” She holds the toast out to him. She’s already had to sit down and talk to the boys about it, in detail, because people talk. She canceled a trip to the hair salon because people talk. She compared it to the first week after her husband died even though that was not the same thing at all.

Maybe folks gave pitying looks, but no one had been invited to hear Big Cass screaming in pain.

“You’re not listening to me,” Bucky says.

“I am listening. I’m also noticing that you skipped breakfast.” 

So did she. And he can see the strain under her eyes. Bucky points this out with a mulish edge so she takes a pointed bite of the toast and holds it back out.

Sighing, he takes it. Peach jam drips onto his fingers. The golden yellow colour of its syrup looks orange oozing over the black plating of his knuckles.

“Don’t overthink it,” Sarah says. “My motives are selfish here.”

“What motives,” Bucky asks, confused.

“Making sure you eat, baby. I like a man with meat on his bones.” She brushes the crumbs off her fingers while he looks at her, overcome with a complicated fondness that doesn’t undercut his fear, “It’s been seven days. Give it another ten and there’ll be a new thing. That’s what all the kids are talking about anyway, micro trending.” She pauses, cups his cheek, makes known his cue to squeeze her hand tightly in his own – “Hell if I know.”

And that is, in many ways, a good way of summarizing it.

Resilience is a weird thing. Dr. Naimi talks about it like stretching, like his brain is some strange variation on Kamala Khan’s whacky superpowers. You stretch to make up for how unsafe your situation feels, and some people can stretch a lot more than others. Bucky is, apparently, one of those people – they still haven’t figured out if it’s a him thing or a serum thing, though Dr. N talks about them like they’re all part of one whole – which has pros and cons. Pros: his laundry list of fucked up mental health issues is real, but not institutionalized headcase real (they spend twenty minutes reworking his phrasing on that one). Cons: sometimes, that makes it harder for him to notice that the stupid little rubber band in his head is about to reach its limit. Which is not fun. For anyone involved.

Bucky’s working on it. 

Working on it doesn’t necessarily mean fully figured it out.

On Wednesday Sarah is working late because there’s some issue with the freezer and Bucky looks into their own freezer and realizes that everyone forgot to get groceries this week – it seems he and Sarah are both inclined to skip over basic tasks like breakfast and groceries when they’re overly stressed. So he considers his week, and how relatively muted his anxieties have been, and how generally, it hasn’t been worse than any other weird week. He’s been sleeping poorly and has to force himself to pick up Sam’s daily calls sometimes (Sam calling daily is a new thing, for sure), but he’s okay. He knows everything that happened happened a long time ago. He knows there are people around who love him, and he knows he’s pretty okay at keeping them safe. Staying in the house would be more paranoia than it would be wisdom, and AJ is at Ms. Gloria’s doing his homework, so he and Cass go to Trader Joe’s. 

At first, everything is okay. That is a sentiment that changes pretty quickly.

“Milk,” Cass reads from their list, quoting Bucky’s own notes somewhat theatrically to him as they stalk the yellow-brown toned aisles. “‘Whole, not the stuff that tastes like water’.” 

The routine of it should be soothing, but Bucky is having a hard time not noticing how many people are looking at them. Paranoia, his brain supplies. Sarah said most people would forget the video within another week. Except, oh, that second week hasn’t passed yet, and it feels like everyone’s eyes are physically touching him.

Bucky wheels them over to the dairy aisle and grabs the milk. The dairy aisle is cold, and the milk carton under his right hand fingers is cold. He hates the cold. 

“Ummm … Mom said to get the block cheese cause we’ll get more use out of it …”

“Mom’s right,” Bucky says loudly. Focus. Four more items. Then they’ll be done. There’s an unfamiliar couple standing by the yogurt, pointing and whispering in a way that makes it clear they’ve thought just little enough about him they haven’t considered his superhuman hearing.

He tries to refocus on the squeaky wheel of their cart and drown everything else out. Quite suddenly he remembers that the medical cart in that room squeaked too. He can hear it skittering away because his elbow smashed into it, five minutes before his arm was locked down again, squeezed tightly under metal clamps. He only just stops himself from grabbing at his arm to rip off the clamps, which are momentarily, horrifyingly real in his memory. Also, squeaking sounds an awful lot like whimpering (not really, but the connection’s already made), and he –

“Elbow macaroni,” Cass reads aloud, over-enunciating. He’s standing closer to Bucky now, swinging one foot in and out as he directs them. Bucky locks confused eyes with an old woman examining the frozen pizzas and she shoots him a sympathetic look.

He blinks to look away from her and they’re standing in the juice and drinks aisle. 

Cass is jogging a little to catch up to him and looks confused.

“Macaroni,” he repeats, even slower than before.

Fuck.

“Macaroni,” Bucky says. Hadn’t be been going in that direction? He doesn’t remember turning in here. It feels like the whole goddamn Trader Joe’s is buzzing with people’s chatter. “Okay.”

“I can get it,” Cass says. He runs away before Bucky can say no, the word a panicked thing caught at the back of his throat. He needs to keep Cass safe. What if someone approaches him? What if someone demands – 

No. They’re in Delacroix. People gossip but they won’t hurt a kid. Except other kids, maybe – Cass has a shiner on his cheek from getting into a fight at school. Because of the goddamn video. Kids kept talking about it like it was an action movie or something – would it look like that? To other people? Bucky never watched it but he remembers it, sure. Under his skin. In the cracks of his head. He’d have thought horror movie. Maybe. But then, those are a big craze these days. Kids like the adrenaline. They were big in his day, too, only maybe he was just a chump and didn’t get the same kick outta them as everyone else.

Becky thought vampires were thrilling, for example. 

You didn’t drag anything anywhere, baby, I invited you in.

Fumbling, Bucky grabs the nearest bottle of tomato juice and focuses on reading every word on the label to himself. Then he translates every word on the label into Czech. And then Spanish. Xhosa next. They don’t have a word for zingy and Bucky realizes he is muttering zingy out loud over and over again with a frown on his face and the woman standing in the aisle next to him is shooting him covert, alarmed looks. She’s – Bucky’s brain lags – music teacher? Isn’t she the music teacher at Cass and AJ’s school?

“Got it!” Cass says, skidding back into his line of sight. 

They still don’t have half the items on their list, but Bucky manages to say, “Okay, c’mon,” in his steadiest voice and steers Cass and their cart towards the checkout. In the line, Bucky grips the handle of their cart so tightly it begins creaking and Cass has to touch his elbow to let him know. Violently, out of nowhere, the cart handle is a human trachea. Bucky yanks his hands away and nearly knocks over the little display of sugar free gum.

A few of the small colourful packets scatter to the ground like hacky sacks amidst the gasps of surrounding shoppers; Cass gets to his knees to pick them up.

“Sorry – sorry,” Bucky mutters, barely hearing himself. The buzz is louder than ever and his heart has started pounding. He’s terrified that someone who is not Cass is going to try to touch him and he’s going to freak the fuck out. He needs to get down and fix this. No – he needs to go up to the cash so they can get out of here –

“Next,” says the cashier. It’s Emily, sweet kid, Bucky knows her, she always grins when he comes through the line. Joe Langston hired her ‘cause she had good penmanship and could write up all the colourful chalk signs like no other TJ’s in the county. She smiles at him, rings through the two cheeses. Then the milk. Then the macaroni. She falters, distracted by the people whispering behind him in line. Cass isn’t even trying to hide the way he’s glaring, chin stuck out, so Bucky grabs his elbow and pulls him over and around to his other side. “Hey –!” Cass starts, and vaguely Bucky recognizes them from some church function Sarah helped out at, middle-aged and light skinned and probably the most average people in the world, morally speaking, but they aren’t even trying to hide the way they’re looking at him. 

He needs it to stop. The words please stop nearly crawl out of his mouth and at the last second Bucky bites down on them, because they’re too much like – they’re just like when – his skin crawls, then prickles, then hurts outright, all the way up to the base of his scalp, and then it’s gone. He doesn’t understand it. He went to the tackle shop two days ago and people looked and pitied and shied away and it was nothing like this. Someone even said something inane like mad respect, dude, and Bucky had been able to handle it.

“Twenty-four thirty,” Emily says, turning the card reader towards him. Her uniform shirt is way too big even on her chubby frame and her eyelash extensions curl ludicrously up and down at him over freckled cheeks. The door of the management room on the other side of cash opens and closes and a larger figure walks over to them, framed by the too-colourful background of sunflowers and orchids, encroaching on Bucky’s consciousness. And those chalk signs, with Emily’s loopy script all over them. “You got your discount cards, Mr. Barnes?”

Right – Emily would remember, because Emily helped him set them up, and is going through her little routine like Bucky isn’t having a full-blown psychotic episode for the first time in months in the middle of the Trader Joe’s –

“Discount,” Bucky manages, even though it’s getting harder to breathe. He resists the urge to clamp his hands over his head, like that will somehow make things stop. This is the worst it’s been in ages. Maybe even never, here, in Delacroix. No – Sarah’s shed, one time. That was really early on. He had a meltdown in Sarah’s shed because it was too dark and something caught against his neck and that was somehow much stupider than this, so surely he’s grown, he’ll have to tell his therapist but the idea of calling feels like this impossible hill to climb right now and Sarah’s been doing so well living through this, all of this, like she is okay with it all, but she’s not, of course she is not, he notices how she can’t go through the day without touching him so many times and maybe that’s her own way of working through things and maybe she needs a therapist too and that would be his fault just like Cass’s goose egg is his fault and –

“If we can please afford our fellow shoppers some basic human dignity,” says Joe Langston’s deep, carrying voice, out of nowhere, over the top of Emily’s head. 

Oh. It was him who came out of the management room. Joe rarely snaps but there is a clear edge to his tone just there. The buzz of the check out line vanishes instantly. Joe’s standing, as usual, the tallest person in the room, both arms crossed over his wide torso above the slight curve of his belly. In the periphery of his blurry vision Bucky can sense the way one person’s mouth is opening and closing like a stupefied fish. Joe leans forward and Emily looks relieved.

He says, like he would say anything else,

“You payin’ with card or cash, B?”

“Card,” Cass supplies quietly, his teenaged voice a little raspy, when Bucky doesn’t immediately respond. “Thanks, Mr. Langston.”

“No problem, son. You let your uncle take his time.”

In the quiet, Bucky reaches into his pocket and fumbles with his wallet. His hands are shaking so badly it takes three tries to tug the credit card out.

“Take your time,” Joe says again. He adds, more quietly, “You know what to take off, Em, you don’t need the discount cards.”

“Right – right.”

Bucky puts the little tags for the veteran’s discount onto the cheap plastic laminate anyway. 

In five minutes, they are back in the car. Once both doors are slammed shut around them, blocking out the world, Bucky puts his forehead against the tacky curve of the pickup’s wheel and takes as many long, shaky breaths as he can. His shoulders hurt and the back of his t-shirt feels damp with sweat. Slowly, the cacophony dies down. The truck’s solid beneath him, reminding him only of itself and nothing else. The inside of the car is warm, and that helps bleed some of the tension out of his frame.

Cass, in the passenger’s seat, remains totally silent.  

When his breathing has returned to normal Bucky sits up a little, elbows leaning against the wheel, and rubs a hand over his eyes, then his mouth, then up and into his hair. He can’t help but notice now, after everything, that he had strode into the Trader Joe’s in just a t-shirt covering his arms without even thinking about it.

“Hey,” he says, his voice quiet but not hoarse. Somehow he was expecting it to be torn up and overused. It is instead the same as it often sounds, if maybe a little weak. “Cass. Buddy, I’m sorry, we’re gonna have to wait another couple minutes. I don’t think I’m okay to drive yet.”

Cass nods, his bony shoulders turned in, his knees pulling up so the heels of his sneakers rest against the dash. “It’s okay.” After a minute, he adds wisely, “Mom says Titi Joan once got into an accident ‘cause she was drivin’ over to whoop her ex-boyfriend’s ass, and she was so worked up she drove right into Mrs. Thomas’s pool.”

Bucky huffs out a breath that isn’t quite a laugh; he has indeed heard this story. It’s a family classic, mostly because no one actually got hurt. He doesn’t bother to correct the shameless use of ass, and instead focuses on taking stock of his body. Everything seems to be functioning as normal. He has a mild headache, but his heart rate’s gone down, mostly. He’ll need a shower when they get home. Only after all of this does he say,

“Cass. Are you okay?”

Cass doesn’t answer at first, only tilts his head in a way very reminiscent of his mother. His sweet face has gotten pimply in the last couple months, and the bruise on his cheek swells purple beneath the dark plastic frames of his new glasses. Pretty soon Cass’ll be nearly as tall as Bucky is – maybe even taller. He’s seen old pictures, after all. 

“Yeah,” Cass says finally, shrugging. “You didn’t do anything too weird. Except when you forgot where the macaroni aisle was.” Bucky can’t help but smile a little crookedly even though the muscles in his face feel all wrung out. Cass adds, hesitant, “This was a brain thing, right?”

Bucky looks up at the ceiling of the car. “A little bit.”

“‘Cause sometimes people’s brains can freak out, like, without expecting it, if bad shit’s happened before. That’s what you told us, right?”

This time, Bucky raises two eyebrows instinctively. 

“Bad shit, huh?”

“Bad stuff,” says Cass, rolling his eyes.

Bucky inhales again, his chest filling and expanding with it. The car smells like coconut, like Sarah’s lotion really, and a little bit like fish. It always smells like fish around here. Even when it’s cold, it smells salty, and it was never like that before. His muscles are still a little shaky, but getting better by the minute. “Yeah,” he says aloud, to Cass. “Yeah, exactly. Cass –”

But Cass is already nodding. “Okay. Can I practice how to shift gears again while we’re waiting?”

Bucky unbuckles his seatbelt and motions for him to come around while he elbows the door open. The cheese is gonna get squishy in the back but there’s nothing else to do but wait. The air outside is fresh even as it's muggy, and his boots hit the gravel of the parking lot while Cass scrambles out of his own seat and walks around, making the truck groan a little on its raised wheels. He meets Bucky at around where the headlights are, on their way to switch seats. Unprompted, Cass wraps him in a tight hug, one that is just sudden and clingy enough it suggests comfort is needed more than comfort is being given.

Bucky hugs him back, presses his face down into the textured crown of Cass’s head, and lets him stay there for as long as he needs.

[i-like-writing-stuff]

sorry [five hargreeves x reader]

request: wanted to say I love ur 5 fics and how you portray their relationship as old partners :”) 💖If it’s not trouble to do (Dont feel obligated plz) I had this idea of 5 and reader having a fight and them being too prideful or bitter to apologize. Reader ignores him for some time and Five gets grumpier than usual bc of that. To the point where, one of his siblings tell him to just stop being children, apologize and give them flowers. But he finds it hard bc he is not good with that kinda of stuff ☺️

a/n: thank youuu <3, i try my best to keep the tua characters in... well, character lol- as much as possible! i hope this fic turned the way you wanted it, anyway- enjoy!!~

summary: five gets grumpy when his girlfriend gives him the silent treatment for being a jerk... shocker.

“Could you stop for one damn second and relax?!” You yelled at your boyfriend, already stressed out by the way he had been almost carving a hole through the floor of the living room with all his pacing.

“Relax?!” Five yelled, turning to glare at you, “Do you even realize how stupid you sound?! How could I relax- I lost my last lead on that fucking eye!”

“Come again?” You raised a brow, crossing your arms as you watched him curiously. Did he just call you stupid indirectly?

Your nerves were tugging at the last threads of patience you had left within you- they had been doing that for a few days. You knew that life wouldn’t be quiet when you decided to give a relationship with your partner a shot, but you never expected things to get so messy.

Not only you followed his grumpy butt all the way to 2019 to stop an apocalypse- which you couldn’t care less about, now you had been stuck in your younger bodies because he miscalculated something before traveling in time. On top of all that, he had been a jerk to his siblings- which you grew quite fond of and viceversa, he also started being an asshole to you, all because he couldn’t find a way to stop the apocalypse.

“Five Hargreeves, did you just call me stupid?” You asked, seeing that he was frozen in place, going back over his words in his mind.

“Not exactly.” He knitted his brows in confusion, before realizing the irritated look on your face, “I don’t have time for this, Y/N.”

“You think I had any time these past two years putting up with your shit?” You retorted, making him raise his brows in surprise by your sudden burst, “Screw you, asshole.”

“Now that was rude!” He yelled after you, once you started walking out of the room, completely ignoring him, “Y/N!”

You had been with the Commission for over four decades, you completely trusted its choices, since you never were given a reason not to. Well, that was until the Handler recruited Five Hargreeves. He was about four-five years older than you, but nonetheless still had the impeccable skills of an assassin- just what the organization wanted and needed.

You, being one of the Handler’s most trusted agents, she assigned him under your wing in the beginning until he’d get adjusted. So, he became your partner, it didn’t take long until he became your partner in the real sense of the word.

Five was in love with you- stupidly in love with you. He loved your wit and your kindness, he loved that he could have intellectual conversations with you for hours on end, he loved the fact that he’d feel whole again with just one look at your face, your smile, your eyes.

But he was a prideful man, he knew that. If he was wrong- which he rarely was, he had no intention of apologizing. You knew how important stopping the apocalypse was to him, but... it pained you to see him almost lose his shit completely when he loses the last remaining lead.

For the next couple of hours, you completely avoided him at all costs until he’d get that stick out of his ass and apologize. 

And he’d better have a grand way of doing it.

You knew that it was not like him- he’d never apologize, and the fact that you were avoiding him was not making it any easier on him, but you were beyond pissed. Even if he may not have meant it, all you tried to do was help him relax for a moment, take a breather before that pretty head of his would explode. And in return? 

In return, Five fucking Hargreeves continues being an asshole- what a surprise.

“Jesus, where did all the caffeine in this house go?!” Five groaned, searching the cupboards in the kitchen, feeling grumpier than usual.

“I told you- dad didn’t like it.” Allison reminded him, as she and Luther sat at the table, watching him in confusion, “What’s got into you?”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, not done yet with his search- he wanted at least something that felt like coffee, “Come on- we don’t even have... coffee flavored fucking chocolate or some shit like that..?” He mumbled, shutting the cupboard with a loud smack.

“She means... you’re... grumpier... than usual...” Luther hesitantly explained, afraid that his little-older psychotic brother might have finally snapped.

“Mind your business, will ya?” Five asked with a fake smile, stomping out of the kitchen.

“I love Y/N, I swear I do... and oddly enough, Five too.” Allison spoke up, “But honestly, what was she thinking becoming his girlfriend?”

“I am just happy for her they’re not married.” Luther shrugged, resting his hand on his palm, as Diego walked into the kitchen;

“Is it just me or is Five a lesser ray of sunshine than usual?”

The following day, you treated Five with the same coldness as the prior day, which really drove him insane. Not only he spent the night in his bed alone, since you decided to bunk for the night in one of the empty rooms, but now you were still giving him the silent treatment.

Luckily, during breakfast, the Hargreeves siblings finally managed to understand what was going on.

“Hey, Diego, do you think we can pay Eudora a visit at the station after breakfast?” You asked the man, “I promised her the other day some files to help with an investigation she has on the side.”

“Sure thing.” Diego smiled, looking forward to seeing the detective again, even if he bickered with her from time to time.

“What files?” Five asked curiously.

“Vanya, can you please pass me the salt?” You ignored him, smiling at his sister.

Vanya raised a brow, unsure what to do, as the other siblings were piecing the puzzle together. Five raised a brow, as you avoided eye contact with him, waiting for the salt shaker which was, ironically, closer to him than Vanya.

“Here.” He said, reaching for it before his sister, handing it to you.

You looked at him with a smile, then at the salt shaker that was waiting on you to pick it from your boyfriend’s hand. Instead, you scoffed, getting up from your seat with your plate in your hands, suddenly losing your appetite.

“I am gonna go change.” You declared, placing your dish in the sink, “Diego, I’ll wait for you in the car.”

“Unbelievable....” Five muttered, throwing the salt shaker somewhere on the table, before abruptly getting up from his seat to pour himself a cup of freshly made coffee- Klaus made sure to stock up since Allison and Luther told him what had happened the other day.

“Why is Y/N giving you the cold shoulder?” Diego asked his brother, raising a brow.

“Leave me alone.” Five muttered, leaving the room even grumpier, with his hot cup of coffee in his hand to at least soothe him down a bit.

“Five!” Allison yelled after him, but he was already out of there, “Urgh, he’s such a child!”

After you and Diego had left the Hargreeves mansion, Five found it hard to focus on trying to get another lead on the prosthetic eye- he could not stop thinking about the fact that it almost had been twenty four hours since the woman he loved had chosen to deliberately ignore him, all because his stupid mouth could not help snapping at her.

What a moron he was, he knew that.

“Y/N told me what happened.” Allison told her brother, entering his room softly, watching as he laid on his bed on his back, “And woah- aren’t you an asshole?”

“What do you want, Allison?” He asked, rolling his eyes, staring up at his ceiling.

“Here’s a crazy idea... why don’t you apologize?” She suggested, crossing her arms.

“Have you... met me?” Five frowned, lifting his head to watch his sister in confusion.

“Look, you and Y/N both need to stop being children!” She said, “I know you may have teen bodies, but aren’t you both like over fifty? Honestly, Five...”

“Knowing I will regret this, what do you suggest, Allison?” Five asked with a sigh, watching as his sister smirked in response.

You and Diego didn’t really take long to finish your business at the police station. In about thirty minutes, you both were back on your way home, unaware of the big surprise that was waiting for you.

You entered the house, stretching your arms, already telling yourself you needed a drink, even if it was only noon. You figured a glass of some expensive bourbon would calm you down, so you made your way in the living room, as Diego went to his room in his own business.

Although, you couldn’t help but widen your eyes in surprise, as you stopped in your tracks once your look fell on Five, who was sitting at the bar with a Margarita in one hand, and a big bouquet of flowers rested in his lap.

“Five?” You frowned, stepping towards him confused.

Never in his life, would Five ever think he’d be so happy to hear his name on your lips. He softly smiled, realizing that Allison’s plan was working, as you finally spoke to him, even if it was one word.

“Y/N.” Five gulped, setting down his glass to jump off the stool, “These are for you...” He hesitantly said, stretching his hands towards you, as he held the big, colorful bouquet of all sorts of flowers towards you.

“I... Uh... what?” You frowned, taken aback by the gesture.

Five wasn’t necessarily the romantic type, so this was the first bouquet of flowers you ever received from him. You knew he loved you with all his heart and he was in love with you, that’s why you didn’t care about the romantic gestures he never did- but, right now, watching his cheeks turn into a slight shade of pink as he was biting on his bottom lip anxiously- your heart melted.

Allison had given him all sorts of advice on how to apologize to you with the help of Vanya, since they were both well aware of the fact that their brother was not capable of saying such words by himself. But right now, as you stood before him, Five had forgotten all that they taught him.

“I... I suck at this kind of stuff, I gotta be honest.” Five sighed, stepping closer to you, still with the bouquet in his hands, as you were still hesitant, “I... I shouldn’t have snapped at you, Y/N, I know. You didn’t deserve to be told that, even if I didn’t mean it at all. I swear, I was only mad and I never meant to take it out on you.”

“Oh my God.” You covered your mouth in shock, “Are you... actually... trying to apologize to me?”

“Sort of... yeah...” Five sighed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, “Look, what I am trying to say... What I am trying to say is that I appreciate your love, and having your support with me, and I know you care about my well-being.”

“Keep going...” You smirked, stepping closer to him, “Come on... they are three simple words.”

“Right...” Five sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Look, Y/N? I... I am...”

You didn’t even let him finish, as you softly took the bouquet out of his hand not to squish it, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a tight hug. You knew how hard it must have been so far for a know-it-all like Five to say that, so you didn’t want to push him further. To you it was enough that he at least felt sorry for bursting like that.

“I love you.” Five sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist, “And I truly mean what I said earlier.”

“I love you too.” You smiled, not yet pulling away from the loving embrace, “And I know... I know...”

Five pulled away to smile down at you, “Thank you for being so understanding... and supportive.”

“I’d say it is my pleasure, but I’d be lying.” You teased him, bopping his nose with the free hand that was not wrapped around his neck still and holding the flowers.

“Hilarious.” Five sarcastically said, slowly leaning in, “I think I liked it better when you weren’t talking.”

“Really?” You scoffed, but before you could continue the playful banter, Five had already captured your lips into a soft kiss, finding a better way to shut you up.

[farfromtommy]

seb being a stepdad to chris' kids or vice versa!

not my gif

a/n: okay this is literally one of the best ideas ever and im so in love with this fic. i think this takes the cake for my favorite fic i’ve written!! this is mildly edited so pls be kind. im so proud of it and hope you guys love it <3

please reblog if you enjoyed reading and and feel free to leave any comments!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of sex, brief mention of medical procedure(s), there might be some language i dont remember

word count: 4,400

masterlist

social media au masterlist

taglist 

~~~

Chris has been your best friend since elementary school and all through middle and high school. Everyone knew how close you were to him and how deeply you loved each other. It was never in a romantic sort of way, though. Nobody really understood the relationship you had with him, they just shrugged their shoulders and minded their business.

When Chris told you he wanted to move to New York to follow his dream of being an actor, he asked you to go with him. You shared his love for theatre and the arts and always wanted to see if you could make it as a big-time Hollywood actress. You packed all your things into your tiny car and made your way to New York with your best friend.

You spent your 28th birthday sitting on Chris’s couch with a bottle of tequila and a broken heart. Your boyfriend of 3 years broke up with you on the grounds of you being “such a drag” and “not someone he wants to settle down with any more”. You had planned a life with him. He talked about marrying you and having kids with you just weeks prior. And he had just thrown it all away.

Having gone through almost half of the bottle of tequila already, Chris took the bottle from you and just looked at you with sad eyes. He ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face in your pillow and just cried. You pulled yourself together after a while and willed yourself to sit up and look Chris in the eyes.

“I know I’m kinda drunk right now but Chris, listen to me. Can we make a pact? When we’re both 30 and if we’re both still single and loveless. Let’s have a baby. We don’t have to like… y’know… do it or anything. We can do it through insemination or in a petri dish or however they do it. I’m just- I want to settle down and have kids but I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone else.” You rambled, gesturing wildly with your hands. Chris suppressed a laugh and looked at you like you were crazy. You just looked at him questioningly until he realized this was not the alcohol talking.

“Are you serious? Like, me and you? Having a baby? Seriously?” He pulled himself off the floor and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

“I’m so serious. You can say no, Chris. This is me asking you what you think. I always said that if I don’t have a husband or have been with someone long enough to have a child with them, that I would go to a sperm bank and do it like that. You know how badly I want kids, and I know you want them too.” You moved to the edge of the couch to move closer to him. He stood up and grabbed your hand to help you up. He dragged you towards the kitchen and sat you down at the table, telling you to wait there while he grabbed something. He came back a few moments later with a notebook and a pen.

“Alright, let’s figure this out. We’re going to ask each other questions about this and write down the answers. Any conditions we have we’ll write down, if we can’t agree on them we don’t do it. I know you’re not super sober right now so we can do this now and talk about it again tomorrow.” He wrote ‘Y/L/N - Evans Baby’ along the top. You smiled a bit to yourself and waited for him to talk.  

“I don’t want to be just the sperm donor, I want to be involved in everything. From the ultrasound appointments to picking preschools. I also want to be in the room when you’re in labor.” He wrote it down as he was talking and looked up at you. You nodded with a big smile on your face.

“I would want you as involved as possible. We would be co-parenting this hypothetical child. My turn. To keep this from getting messy, we should do it through a clinic. Me in stirrups and your swimmers in a turkey baster. Sex can make things complicated and weird, I don’t want to risk something going wrong between us and then there be a child involved. Insemination isn’t as effective but we can always keep trying if it doesn’t work.” You pulled the notebook towards you and wrote down your condition.

That went on for the rest of the night. You and Chris take turns asking questions about your hypothetical baby. You had filled up pages and pages of notes about what you both want, from how you would decide to tell your families to living arrangements to if you’d circumcise or not if it was a boy.

A little more than 2 years later you and Chris found yourselves at the dining room table of his Boston home again. The notebook you had filled just a few years back right in front of you, along with 5 pregnancy tests. They were face down on the table as you anxiously waited for the timer to go off.

“Alright, Chris. This is it. It’s been 5 minutes, we can flip them over.” You released a shaky breath and stared at the tests right in front of you. Chris grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together. You looked at each other before reaching out to flip over the individual tests. Seeing all 5 of the tests with 2 solid pink lines knocked all the air out of your lungs.

“Oh my god. They’re all positive! Oh my god, Chris!! We’re going to have a baby!” You both jumped out of your seats and jumped around the kitchen before hugging each other and crying. He kept thanking you and kissing the top of your head while you sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt. There were lots of tears over the next few weeks from you both after confirming your pregnancy with your midwife.

8 or so months later Penelope Elizabeth Evans-Y/L/N made her way into the world and the arms of her parents. The world seemed to stop when you heard the cries of your daughter for the first time. You could’ve sworn Chris stopped breathing the second he laid eyes on her when she was placed on your bare chest. He didn’t even care that she was covered in blood and other bodily fluids, he swore that she was the most beautiful human being to ever exist.

He took a lot of time off from filming and working to take care of you both. Once you found out you were pregnant, you stopped acting for the most part. You knew that you wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, at least until she was old enough to go to school, and maybe then you’d go back to smaller roles that kept you close to home.

Chris had a hard time leaving you and Penny once it was time to go back to work. He held her close to his chest and cried at the thought of leaving her when she’s still so little. Seeing the extreme separation anxiety he was already having, you offered to go with him to set and find an apartment or house to rent for the duration of the shoot. This ended up being the greatest thing you could have come up with. Every single project that took him away from Boston, you and Penny were right there next to him. You and Penny followed him to what seemed like every corner of the Earth.

The weeks leading up to shooting The Winter Soldier were the most exciting for Chris. He had been training for months to get into shape and was really excited to have you and Penny on set with him. He had also been talking nonstop about working with Sebastian and Anthony again.

One night Chris came home with Sebastian and Anthony trailing behind him. Penny had gone down for the night and you were nursing a glass of wine on the recliner, watching whatever you could find on TV.

“Hey, Y/N. I should've called ahead, I’m sorry. We’re just going to have some beers while we watch the game.” He walked in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved the blankets off your lap and stood up to greet Anthony and Sebastian.

“I don’t think you ever got a chance to meet these guys before. Y/N this is Anthony and Sebastian, guys this is Y/N.” Chris introduced you and you moved forward to give them both hugs.

“Sorry for barging in on you unannounced, we would’ve made sure this idiot called you before to make sure it was all good,” Anthony said, taking the beer Chris handed him.

“Oh please, don’t worry about it. He used to do it all the time when we lived in New York. Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess. Didn’t get a chance to clean today, I’ve had my hands full, especially with this one” You gestured a thumb to Chris and he sent you a playful glare in return.

You offered to put together some snacks for the game, knowing very well Chris couldn’t handle his alcohol without some sort of food in his system. Anthony and Sebastian offered to help while Chris snuck off to go see Penny.

“How long have you and Chris been together?” Sebastian made some small talk while looking for serving bowls in your kitchen. Anthony leaned against the counter and continued to sip on his beer.

“Oh, we’re not together. We’ve been friends since we were kids and we actually are just uh...” You chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say to his friends. Chris walked into the kitchen with Penny in his arms at that moment. Her head tucked into his neck, hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt and his arms under her butt.

“We’re raising our daughter together. They go with me wherever I go so I don’t miss anything and so Y/N doesn’t raise Penelope by herself. We’re co-parenting in the same house.” He said, looking at the tired toddler in his arms. Sebastian and Anthony both sputtered on their beers at the same time, not believing what they were seeing.

There was no denying that she was a product of you and Chris. Even with her sleepy eyes, they could see the bright blue color that matched the man carrying her. They saw the swoop of your nose and the color of your hair. They stood there just taking it all in.

“I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 28 after my long term boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere. It was one of those ‘if we’re 30 and aren’t married’ sort of things. We turned 30 and were both still single, so we had a baby.” You shrugged, looking over at your girl.

“And it works, being parents without being together but still living together?” Anthony asked, gesturing towards the two of you.

“We had everything figured out before she got pregnant. We had conditions that we both had to agree on before we even got serious about it. We were both very adamant about not doing it the old fashioned way so things didn’t get messy. It took some time to figure out the… terms and conditions I guess.” Chris laughed a little bit. Anthony and Seb nodded in understanding and kept looking at Penny.

“I’m happy for you, man. Seems like you both are really happy. How old is she?” Anthony walked into her line of sight and waved his fingers a bit, trying to get her attention.

“She turned one a couple of months ago.” You said and watched Penny pick her head up and look at Seb and Anthony, inspecting them a bit. Her big blue eyes landed on Sebastian and she stared him down before he gave her a small smile and waved at her. She was a little shy around new people and would usually bury her face in the neck of whoever was holding her.

To your surprise, she leaned away from Chris and moved her hands out to Sebastian. Everyone’s eyes widened as she whined a little bit when he didn’t reach out to grab her. Chris moved closer and told him it was okay and let Penny make herself comfortable in his arms. She buried herself into his neck much like she does with you and Chris, her tiny fists clutching his shirt. Her eyes shut immediately and let herself fall asleep in his arms.

The next few months went on more pleasantly than expected. Chris often had late-night shoots and training, leaving you with Penny most of the day. Anytime he knew he would be home late, he’d send Seb over with dinner or just an extra set of hands to help you with Penny. She knew you were her mama and Chris was her dada, then one day she had her Seba. Anytime you opened the door to let him in with her on your hip, she immediately squealed and started to chant ‘Seba! Seba!’ and didn’t stop until he was holding her.

Sebastian had brought up the idea of taking you to dinner one night to Chris. Even though you were a single adult who could make decisions on your own, he didn’t want to disrespect Chris at all. Chris never saw you as anything more than his best friend, it had always been like that. He was ecstatic when Sebastian brought up the idea of asking you out.

“I’m so serious, Seb. I think it’s a great idea. She talks about you a lot and really loves being around you. She’s going to say yes, I promise. Y/N hasn’t dated since we had Penny, mostly because she’s scared of what someone would think about her living with her childhood best friend who happens to be the father of her child.” Chris told him honestly. You weren’t interested in dating at all since having Penny. Mostly because being a mom was your first and only priority.

Sebastian let out the breath he was holding and ran his fingers through his hair, all of a sudden nervous about asking you to dinner. Chris clapped a hand around his shoulder and gave him a quick pep talk before sending him on his way.

The 2 years between wrapping Winter Soldier and starting Civil War had been interesting, to say the least. Everything Chris did kept him in the states for the most part. You and Penny were still trailing along with him, always loving the things you got to experience as a family.

Sebastian had found his place right in your crazy life. You had been unofficially together after wrapping Winter Soldier. He went off to do his next project and you and Chris spent some time in Boston with your families. You texted him most of the day, and he called at night to talk for a few hours before you went to sleep. He always said goodnight to Penny and she blew her Seba kisses through the phone.

He flew to Boston a bunch of times to see you, even if it was only for a few hours. You flew to wherever he was for a few days at a time, most of the time with Penny. Chris somehow managed to get you on the plane by yourself a few times and promised he would FaceTime every single night and would have hourly pictures sent.

On one of your first weekend trips out to see him, he refused to let you leave without making it official with you. He had you in tears at the end of his ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my girlfriend’ speech. When he proposed to you he had said that the only thing better than the girlfriend speech was the one he was about to give. His ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my wife’ speech knocked that one out of the water.

Neither of you wanted to make a big fuss about a wedding. You weren’t interested in the big white dress and the stressful bridesmaids and the whole cliche wedding things. Sebastian suggested getting eloped somewhere quiet with a handful of the most important people in your life. Chris’s mom, Lisa, had offered to hold the ceremony in her backyard. Knowing very well how spacious and beautiful it was, you and Seb graciously accepted her offer.

You kept your dress simple yet elegant, a beautiful white lace dress that ended mid-thigh, and complimented your body so perfectly. Seb kept it classy with a dark blue suit and light blue button-up that brought out his eyes, no tie, because who needs one?

Right at the end of the ceremony right as the officiant was about to have you say ‘i do’, you heard whines coming from Penny, who was sitting right up front on her daddy’s lap. You looked over to see her squirming in his lap and whining out ‘mama’ and reaching out for you. Chris made eye contact with you and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’. You shook your head and let go of one of Sebastian’s hands to motion to let her go so she could walk over to you.

Everyone aww’d as she walked over to you as quickly as her legs could take her. You bent down and scooped her up, resting her on your hip and wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her up. Sebastian made faces at her to make her laugh and keep her happy for a few more minutes. Your photographer had taken advantage of the incredibly sweet moment and had made sure to get as many shots of Penny at the altar with you.

When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, you were going to set Penny down but Sebastian was quick to pull you both close to him and go in for your first kiss as a married couple with your daughter right there. Everyone cheered and Penny was mimicking the claps of everyone around her. Before he pulled away from you two he pressed two sloppy kisses on Penny’s cheeks as she giggled, which pulled some tears out of you.

No more than 15 people were attending the ceremony. You wanted to keep it quiet with just family and a few close friends. The reception, however, was anyone and everyone you could fit into the ballroom you had rented at one of the best hotels in Boston. All your guests had filled the room before you and Seb arrived. You nervously held his hand as you heard the cheers from everyone inside after hearing the DJ announce “Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary friends … let’s give it up for the couple of the hour, Mr. and Mrs. Sebastian Stan!!”

No one understood how you, Chris, and Seb managed to make your situation seem so easy and flawless. He knew that living in Boston was a must, so he bought the house that sits right behind the one you shared with Chris for so many years. He never wanted to get in the way of the system you and Chris had created over the years. Somehow, he managed to make things easier for everyone.

Penny’s first day of school was emotional for all 3 of you. You were all at your front door taking pictures of Penny in her school uniform that she looks so ridiculously cute in and the backpack that was way too big for her. She insisted on getting the Avengers backpack that “has my daddy on it!”

“Okay my love, it’s time for us to go to school! Are you ready?” Chris grabbed her tiny hand and led her to the car.

“Yeah daddy, I’m ready!” Penny said as he lifted her into the car and her car seat.

“Daddy? Mama and Sebbie coming too?” She asked him when he clicked the last buckle together. Right on cue Sebastian opened up the door to the free seat in the back and climbed in right next to her. She squealed in excitement at the sight of Sebastian buckling himself in the car.

Chris laughed at her genuine excitement and made sure all her fingers and toes were inside the car before shutting the door. He saw you lock the front door and make your way to the front seat. He noticed you put a few packs of tissues in your bag before setting it on the ground and buckling your seatbelt.

“Planning on crying today, Y/N?” Chris asked in a teasing tone. You swatted his arm lightly and scoffed at his question.

“Our baby is going to her first day of school, of course, I’m going to cry! I cried last night after I tucked her in, I cried in the shower this morning, I cried doing her hair.” You heard Seb talking enthusiastically to Penny, telling her about all the fun things she’ll get to do in kindergarten.

“It’s okay, I cried in the bathroom while she ate her waffles this morning.” You snorted at Chris’s confession and looked back at your baby girl, who was not a baby anymore. She was waving her hands around telling Seb about how excited she was to see her teacher again.

Chris and Sebastian watched from the car as you walked through the front doors of the school with Penny’s hand in yours. They had agreed that it might not have been a good idea to go in with her since they might get recognized and to avoid causing a ruckus. They both waved at her as she turned around and waved one more time before the door shut.

“Did you and Y/N ever think about having more kids together? If I hadn’t started dating her, do you think you would've had more?” Sebastian asked Chris.

“We never explicitly talked about it. She brought up wanting Penny to have lots of siblings not long after you started seeing each other. She felt guilty and thought that I was going to be upset about you and her maybe having kids one day, which meant I probably wouldn’t have anymore. I told her that this was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened because I don’t think I want any more of my own. Penny is all I ever wished and hoped for, and I got it. But since you’re together, she’ll get all the siblings she could ever want, and I won’t have to change a single diaper.” Chris nudged Seb’s shoulder with his. “You guys thinking about having one?”

“Yeah... Yeah, we are.” Sebastian lowered his head and smiled a bit. “With Penny in school and everything, it makes sense. She’s ready, I’m ready.” Seb sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and saw you walking back towards them with a tissue in your hand.

“I had the morning crying shift, it’s your turn.” Seb looked at Chris.

Just as Penny wrapped up her very first year in school, you and Sebastian welcomed Beverly Olivia Stan-Y/L/N into your family. Penelope had been so excited to hear that her mama finally had the baby she had been waiting so long for. You had gone into labor in the late afternoon and Beverly made her debut in the middle of the night.

Sebastian had called Chris an hour or so after to let him know that both you and the baby were doing phenomenally and that you were asking for Penny and wanted to see her as soon as you could. Chris chuckled at the demands you were making, knowing very well how the epidural and pain meds messed with you.

Early the next morning Penny had crawled into bed with Chris, crying for you and wanting to know when she was going to see you. It was still too early for them to go to the hospital, so he called Seb in hopes that he was already going to be awake.

A very exhausted Sebastian lit up the screen and Chris heard the soft cries of the new baby in the background. Penny’s cries turned into hiccups as soon as she saw Seb’s face because she knew she would be able to see her mama, too.

“Sebbie can I see mama, please?” Penny’s little voice spoke up. Sebastian immediately handed the phone to you and whispered that Penny was on the phone.

“Hi, baby.” You spoke softly to not disturb the baby.

“Mama when you come home? I miss you.” Penny wiped her eyes with her fists to get rid of the tears stuck in her eyelashes.

“It’s going to be a few days until I get to go home, baby. But you and daddy will be able to come to see me, Sebbie, and the new baby in a few hours. You need to go back to sleep and be a good girl for your daddy. I’m sure he’ll let you have some cuddles in his bed with him and Dodger until it’s time to wake up again.” Penny hiccuped and looked at Chris with eyes that mirrored his. He nodded his head and she buried herself closer to him.

“Okay, I go back to sleep with daddy and Dodger. I love you, mama. I love Sebbie, too.” She yawned out, her eyes blinking with sleep.

“Me and Sebbie love you so much, Penny. We’ll see you so soon, I promise” You blew a kiss to her through the screen and waited for her to throw one back. She giggled when you caught it through the camera and put it over your heart.

You, Sebastian, and Chris all watched with tears in your eyes as Penny held her baby sister for the first time. Penny had jumped right up in the bed next to you the second she walked into the room and told you about all the fun she had with Chris. Seeing your girls together melted your heart into a puddle. Chris couldn’t believe his little girl was so grown up and was a big sister. Seb thought about the night he first met you and Penny and would’ve never imagined that he’d be right here at this very moment.

Everything was so perfect and you never wanted to imagine your life being any different.

[lonslibrary]

whatever your heart desires (in which each crow couple come across the mirror of erised during their time at hogwarts)

1.  kanej 

“what do you see?” 

kaz smiling wryly, realizing inej had been so focused on her reflection that he had surprised her. 

inej asking him if he knows how the mirror works

“what do you see?” he repeats. 

“mama. papa.” inej replies. “i am back with them, and i’m standing on grass.” she closes her eyes. “i can almost smell the green.”  

kaz knows exactly how the mirror of erised works and how personal someone’s desires are. 

he had only asked because of curiosity. 

no—hope. 

hope, a tiny sliver of it that took up a corner of his head and heart.

he knew how wants are dangerous, how they render someone vulnerable, weak. 

he would know. 

“i thought so.” he decides to lie. “i see..my brother, too. i think it’s a family mirror.” 

inej frowns. “but now i see you with me, as we are now.” 

kaz freezes. 

wonders if the mirror is broken. 

asks himself if he deserves even this, when he does not deserve anything as close to as good as this girl in front of him. 

years later, inej will find out what kind of mirror the erised is, and will laugh at kaz’s initial answer. 

“family mirror,” she’ll mock with a smile. 

but now, in the present, kaz cannot bear to tell her that he desires her the way she does him, cannot let himself ruin the one thing that matters most. he cannot bring himself to say the words, “i want, too. for you to stay beside me, as you are now, forever.” 

all he can do is move a little closer. 

let their shoulders brush. 

tell her, “i guess i was wrong.” 

inej cocking her head because kaz doesn’t say sentences like that.

“because now i see you, too.” 

2. helnik

matthias and nina stumble across the mirror of erised in the shrieking shack one day during a trip to hogsmeade. 

nina recognizes it immediately. she sees herself, with matthias. her friends join them, inej and jesper waving, wylan grinning by their side. even kaz. zoya, a proud look on her face, genya giving her a knowing wink. 

all the people she cared about. alive. safe. happy. 

eyes sparkling, she turns to ask matthias what he sees but the look on his face makes her swallow her words. 

matthias was dreaming. 

dreaming of her. 

he saw himself, with nina. 

but his dream—this time in fjerda, with his old friend trassel sitting by his side. 

clean shaven, wearing a durmstrang uniform in which he had learned dark magic, trained once to join the dark side. 

nina could half guess what matthias saw from the way his eyes went both sad and resentful at the same time. 

like he was nostalgic of a bad memory. 

and matthias knew she knew. 

there were times matthias’ heart was at war, knowing hogwarts was not exactly where he belonged. 

he would not go back to where he came from, believed with his whole heart it was wrong, but fjerda was still a place he had called home, where he had left his entire life behind. friends, family. 

all the people he had cared about. together. proud. unchanging. 

but nina—nina did not belong there, and he would die before he let her go through a fraction of what he had. he would no longer fight back against pure magic, what wizards were truly meant to do. 

matthias squared his shoulders. 

stared at his reflection head on. willed it to change. 

he had known before, but it was even clearer now. 

where nina didn’t belong, neither did he. 

nina was his new home. 

3. wesper

jesper had finally convinced wylan to skip potions with him and was stealing kisses in the hallways when they heard footsteps. 

“shit, shit!” jesper pulled away from a paling wylan, grabbing him and running in the opposite direction of professor mcgonagall’s voice. they ran down a long hallway before jesper pulled him into the first room he saw. 

wylan, breathless from both kisses and running

“i should never—” he gasped for air. 

“—have listened to you... damn your long legs.”

“saints,” jesper murmured from beside him, not out of breath one bit. “we’re in the room of requirement.” 

wylan spins, looking around the room they had stumbled into. 

jesper, speechless for once as he looked into the mirror of erised. 

he stood in his robes, but beside him was his mother, her face and age the same as the day she died. on his other side stood his father, wearing the proudest expression jesper had ever seen. 

a lump in his throat appearing at both the age difference between his smiling parents and at the sudden, invasive thoughts. 

had his father ever been that proud of him before? 

what had he even ever done that would make him that proud? 

what would his mother think of him now?

jesper always liked to think she watched him from above, but sometimes it was easy to forget. to give into temptation. 

“jes?”

wylan’s confusion at jesper’s serious face making jesper confused. 

“what do you see, wy?” 

wylan blinks. 

stares into the mirror.

“what do you mean, what do i see? it’s just a mirror.” 

and suddenly, the lump dissipates and jesper’s heart is just full, full, full.

full of the boy in front of him who wants nothing more than what he has now, which is to be with jesper in a place he calls home.

jesper squeezes wylan’s hand, 

tells him, “you’re right, i was just kidding.” 

looks back at his reflection, sees wylan with him now, his parents still staring back, proud. 

he makes a silent promise to do better, be better. 

he just had one more person he wanted to make proud now. 

tried writing these in regular fic format and just couldn’t do it. it was wordy, taking forever, and i didn’t love it. idk how satisfied i am with this but it took me a while so pls enjoy :) one of the things i dont think gets talked about enough is matthias’s character development and how complex of an internal conflict he has throughout the duology. helnik is one of the couples i’m lesser invested in out of the 3 but leigh bardugo put so much thought into him and his relationship with nina which i love. 

comment ur thoughts and anything you’d like to see next! requests are open, always <3

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[marvel-m-lee]

Meeting everyone and Eggs •Part 3- M-Verse•

Warnings: eggs

Fandom: Marvel

●○●This is a Tickle Fic Story●○●

-This story may also include Gore in some chapters-

-

"GUYS?! WHERES THE KID?!"

This knew man was the one from before, when you woke up. Only he seemed much more frantic and panicky. His body sweating as fear followed him dragging him down.

"Morning Steve" The ginger lady said smirking at his worried expression. His intense breathing patterns and loud banging on the compound floors as he ran.

His eyes locked with yours as time for a moment slowed down. His bright blue eyes, enchanted with opia emotions.

In a swift motion he ran over and held you close. You'd never felt something like this before. Like a string that had been slowly breaking just fell as though the rest of it had returned. The warmth that surrounded you in his arms, shock filling you but something else, this felt overwhelming, tears almost came to your eyes. You could never remember a time when you'd felt this. At least not in an incredibly long time.

"Woah woah, calm down there Steve. She's still warming up to the place." Sam chuckled with slight concern. It was a quick movement, they all thought you might have been very uncomfortable. But you werent, Steve- once realizing what he had done- lifted his arms to let you go incase you were uncomfortable. But you brought yours up and hugged him back. Hiding your face and taking in the feeling.

You were much smaller than him, so the sight was incredibly adorable, everyones faces weakened at the sight. Steve just leant down to hug you once more.

You'd never met this man, but he felt like the only one you truly knew out of them all. You never wanted to loose the feeling.

"Shh, its okay" he had noticed your tears and looked around to say he were going to take you for a bit, in which you agreed by your movements. He held your hand and brought you down a corridor so the others wouldn't see.

"I'm sorry dear, I didnt man to startle you" the blond man knelt down and held onto your shoulders, apologising for making you cry at your first meeting.

You shook your head and hugged him again.

"I really am sorry" he stated, hugging you. You knew he was sorry, but he had nothing to be sorry for. You were crying due to the overwhelming emotions of warmth and joy you felt.

You sniffles and wipped your eye, "i- you, i- sorry... thank you" you muttered, unable to respond properly.

"Dont be sorry dear! You have nothing to be sorry for, should we go get some breakfast?" His smile full of warmth enchanted you and your tears faded as you returned the smile with a nod.

"I'm Steve Roger's by the way" he said as he held your hand as you walked.

"I'm y/n y/l/n"

You both arrived back at the table with the others after calming down a bit. Both of you holding each others hands. You werent sure why, but there was an automatic connection between the two of you, something so familiar yet you'd never known possible.

"Seems like them two are good" Sam laughed nudging Nat, she rolled her eyes but laughed agreeing. Bruce sipping his coffee smiling at you.

"So y/n, would you care for some food?" Steve asked you looking down. It seemed strange but you shyly nodded.

"Ah making food already are we? Alright Rogers go ahead and serve us like the slave to America you are" a new man entered, confidence emitted off him and circled the room. His heels clapping the floor as he walked, his black suit button being popped off as he walked freely. He looked to be in some very formal attire, all designer and- well rich? He also wore some type if sunglasses even though you wrte all inside?-

You looked back to Steve as he raided his eyebrows at the new man, then beginning to cook ignoring his words. This new man walked over to you, you started to question how many men actually did live here- and how different they all seemed to be.

"Tony Stark, y/n y/l/n I know its alright dear. Alright look after the kid I've gotta go out" he pulled down his glasses while talking, his strange beard stuck out to you too. Like triangles at the edges? It looked oddly cool though.

Steve turned around with a smirk, "oh so that's why you're acting like this?"

"Acting like what Rodgers?" The two locked eyes, both having large smirks covering their faces.

"I'll just get you back later" Steve mocked in a teasing tone, making Tony blush and push up his glasses.

"I'll be back in an hour or so. Play nice" he patted your head as he walked off.

Damn. First impressions really did count here didnt they? You could bearly even get a word in. Yet he seemed so confident and important, and manly full of sass. Even you could tell the man was a diva.

You couldn't help but find yourself giggling at him, which made Tony quite happy indeed. He strutted off into another corridor, his heels clip clapping as he prodded along.

"Do you like egg's y/n?" Steve asked you caringly, though you werent sure how to answer. Confusion spread across your face, adorable as such.

"Oh, sorry I'd best explain" Bruce pipped up. "Y/n has no memory of her past. So the most she knows is her age and name, nearly. So she wont be able to answer any question. Stark will explain more later"

You looked at Bruce, grateful for his interruption, he nodded back to show he knew you were thankful.

"Oh okay, well would you like to try some?" Steve refrained his queston to make you more comfortable. You nodded slightly, still quite embarrassed to talk.

"So you don't remember anything then?" Sam asked gaining your attention, "makes sense how you didn't know what juice was then. Still, it's great ain't it?" He smiled at you laughed, you giggled slightly, his failed attempts at being funny actually seemed funny to you. He smiled at you in this heart breaking way at your giggles, he found it too adorable to handle.

"You alright there Sam?" Sam rolled his eyes at the voice as you both turned your attentions to a new man.

"How many men actually do live here?..." you whispered to Banner, he seemed to be the one you were most talkative with as of the moment.

"A lot" he whispered back, chuckling at your questions. He hadn't noticed it before but there were a lot of men in the avengers compound.

This new make figure was also build strong, he had blackish brown hair floating around his shoulders and a strong face structure with a stubby chin. He also wore a pinkish dull red shirt that covered all his arms and some black gloves on with ordinary pants.

"All googly eyes over what?" He teased, winding the other man up as he walked in. He then spotted you and looked taken aback and gave you this- strange smile. Seemingly forced yet a happiness spread from it, you smiled at him.

"Buck that's y/n, shes gonna be stating with us for a while" Steve called from across the counter while making eggs. Buck walked over to you and bobbed down to your size, crouching whikeleaning on his knees.

"Um, hi y/n. I'm Bucky Barnes" he seemed awkward but in a different sense to how Bruce was. Bruce seemed anxious and fearful while Bucky seemed awkward and trying. You gave him a small smile for his efforts.

"Now who's goggling?" Sam teased back, taking a sip if his coffee. Bucky drilled his eyes while moving upwards to look at Sam.

Sam almost spit out his coffee as an awkward wobbly smile snuck onto his face. You couldn't see what Bucky was doing whole starting at Sam but everyone else laughted at his sudden weakness.

"Barnes being childish?" Nat intervened, leaning on the counter behind her. She seemed intrigued by this, though it wasnt unusual for Sam and Bucky to act like 5 year old children.

"The two of them always act like two year olds" Bruce sighed, though slight chuckles were to be heard. They all did enjoy when the two of them would act playfully.

Bucky then began to walk over to Sam, making granny hands at his sides taunting his friend. Sam backed up into a wall as he watched his friend nervously.

"Why did you have to wake up playful when we got a new kid!" He whined. Bucky just smirked at him. Sam handed his Coffee to Nat who placed it on the counter top before he legged it down a corridor, in which bucky followed giving him a head start.

You giggled at their silliness, it seemed nice. The way they all cared about each other yet were all do different.

"They'll be back soon" Steve chuckled as he handed a plate to you with some eggs on. "These are eggs, see the yellow orange piece is the yoke and the white is- the whites-" he hesitated before chuckling to himself, Steve explained the egg to you before Bruce explained what they actually were to you.

"BABIES?!"

"No! No"

Nat was now laughing at this new scene caused. You thought you were about to eat a baby chicken but the orgers tried to comfort you.

"Its okay, we eat these because they're good for us"

"So we eat- babies... because it's good for us?"

Even Steve had given up explaining and was just doubling down with laughter.

"No! No, they're okay, their not babies. The babies haven't grown yet, they-"

"Why are we eating it ?!?" You were panicking thinking you might kill it.

Even bruce began to give up hope and laughing.

"Y/n- it's okay to eat them, they arent babies" Bruce couldn't be bothered to explain it anymore, everyones laughter made you feel a little better but you were still worried for the egg. Steve convinced you to take a bite and cut it up for you. He handed you a fork with a piece on and you looked between everyone and the food.

"I'm sorry" you whispered to it, making everyone loose it before you are it.

Your eyes lit up because it did taste nice, and it didn't have that horrible wrong feeling when you've done something bad. You took another bite, and another. The others chuckling and eating their food while you finished up.

Just as you did Bucky walked in the room with a yelling and kicking Sam on top of him.

"BUCK PUT ME DOWN!!"

Bucky walked over to the couch and threw his friend down before climbing over his begging body. His gloved hands crawling up Sam's sides as he began to childlike giggle and slap Bucky's hands away.

"Is someone a little ticklish?" Bucky asked him as his fingers began to pick up pace and crawl up his friends ribs. Sam began to buck and squeal, rotating and doing anything to get his friend off.

"What are they doing?" You giggled, enjoying the scene with everyone else.

"Tickling, it makes people laugh"

"He looks silly" you giggled. You felt so welcome yet still so new but being as you were you couldn't help but giggle.

"BUCKYYYHEHEHE STAHAHAGAOPPPPO PLEASEEEEE" Sam begged as he tried to grab the super solider hands, he then retaliated and somehow got a hold of his hips, digging his thumbs in. Not Bucky's most ticklish place but good enough to make him loose balance and fall to the floor.

Sam sat above him and quickly began his attack on the soldiers ribs, staging for the gold. His laughter was deep and royal, it made you giggle even more, everyone in the room seemingly laughing harder at the tables turning in this tickle fight.

"Now whose ticklish buck? Redwing! Get in here and record this" Sam yelled as a red airplane mini like robot entered the room and flew over a screaming Bucky.

"SAMMMMM GET THAT SHIT OUTTAHAGA MY FACE! AHAH" he lifted his arms trying to cover his red blushing face as Sam's fingers coated his rib cage.

"Language!"

"SHUT UP STEHEHEVE! AHAHA COME HEHELP ME!!" Bucky was now howling with laughter, Sam knew that if he wanted any escape it would be to wear out his friend before escape. Only to his downfall the blond man walked over and pulled him off Buck's frailing body.

"STEVE YOU TRATOR!" Sam whined in the other super shoulders hold. They both watched over Bucky's worn out body giving off giggles not usually heard from the man.

Steve then threw sam onto the couch and came back to finish his food. Sam got up and walked over to you quickly,

"this, this doesn't count as our first meeting" He told you breathlessly, Bucky raised a hand and agreed. You nodded at them giggling away to yourself.

"Ughhh I'm gonna get you Sam" you all heard before Bucky began to rise.

"Oh what's that? Oh, oh that's uh- someone. Gotta go!" Sam bolted through the doors as Bucky swiftly followed him.

"Well that didnt takes long" Nat said after a while as you could all hear Sam begging and laughing in the corridors.

[storysofmyown]

Single father Lucifer AU

So, this is an idea for a au that i had a while ago, i don’t know if anyone has done anything similar but if they had please tell me so i can go read it! Also, this is just going to be a list of headcanons in no particular order so...enjoy!

Note: Posting this again because tumblr hates me and it doesnt appear in the obey me tag -_-

Three words

ELDEST BROTHER MAMMON!!!

Just, imagine kiddie Mammon, around 11 years old or so taking care of the youngest kids. He used to feed Beel when he still couldnt even hold his bottle.

The poor boy got bitten so many times when Beel had teeth because he didnt have the patience

“DAAAD! Beel bit me again! Im never going to feed him ever again!” Cue to a pouty Mammon four year old Mammon.

Five seconds later you can see him playing with Beel in the floor cuz he cant stay mad with his cute younger brothers

Kiddie Asmodeus has a collection of nail polishes that Lucifer and his Uncle Simeon and cousin Luke have gifted him! he had every color of the rainbow!

You can find him painting everyone’s nails in the little makeup table for kids that Diavolo (Daddy’s boss...and maybe more  👀) gifted him in his birthday

Also, he has the biggest collection of bows and hair clips you can imagine...seriously how can one kid have so many bows?! Has he even worm them all?! (The answer is no)

And given how many bows and hair clips he has, his brothers end up wearing them sometimes, and even Lucifer at times. Belphie has a purple one he uses after waking up from a nap, Satan has a green one Asmo lend him one time that his hair was getting in the way while making homework and so does Leviathan! His is orange and has a little stone in it!

Lucifer once was doing paperwork and his hair was bothering him, so Asmodeus, as the good son he is, gave his dear old dad one!. Poor Lucifer was so tired he fell asleep with it right after he finished his paperwork, and a couple hours later he went to work with the hair clip still on!

Diavolo teased poor Lucifer so much he almost got mad at the kid for making him “make a fool of himself at work”...almost. The moment Lucifer stepped back inside the house, Asmodeus happy squeal because “Dad wore the hair clip at work!” made him smile at him. From then on, Lucifer wore the hair clip more often.

Beel...listen here, Beel was a chubby kid up until puberty. After he hit puberty he hit the gym and he got BIG. Teen Beel can carry all of his brothers and even Lucifer if he really tries.

Also, even as a kid Beel was really tall and strong, so if any kid ever bullied any of his brother he was going to defend them with all he had! Big brother Mammon also defended his little brothers...he himself got into trouble a couple times because he beat up a kid that was making fun of one of his brothers.

As for Lucifer...oh is this man tired! How is he not passed out the moment he gets home?! (The answer is his children :v) But...he loves them all the sane! Thats why he took the new job at Diavolos side...the fact that his boss was hot as well was just an added bonus ;3

So, uh yeah...i dont know if i will make a proper fic for it but yeah...maybe ill make a second part of the headcanons but who knows, i just hope y’all liked it! And apologies for being away, my inspiration has been bleh lately :(

(Also, if someone else had made a fic or something with this please link me to their page/account, blog so i can proper credit them!)

[ggukcangetit]

Dreamcatchers 6

Pairing: jungkook x oc

Summary: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.  

Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc

Word Count: 5.2k

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama.

Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 

A/N:  it’s been a while since i posted and even longer since i updated this fic but its still here and so am i! lol. updates are not gonna be very frequent but i have a list of works in progress that i plan to finish so there will be something or the other being posted at the most random moments.

also, reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios​ prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing!

21st December

"Is this how you conduct a sample analysis?! Where did you even train? I've half a mind to report you and get you kicked out!!"

Yuri stopped at her desk, surprised to hear Seulgi's yelling so loudly that she could be heard all the way from the floor above. She was usually extremely calm and even-tempered, but the past couple of days had seen her irritable, snappy, and downright furious.

"Dr. Ahn sounds really angry," whispered Jisoo, clutching a file close to her chest. "I've never heard her yell at anybody before. I hope she's okay."

"I'm sure everything's fine," said Jeon, walking over to his desk and dropping a bunch of files on it. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Yuri raised an eyebrow at him, but complied nonetheless. They walked outside, standing near a clump of trees outside of earshot of anyone in the station.

"Guess who I've just brought in on suspicion of murder for the 2nd Nov case?" he asked, lowering his voice.

"No!" gasped Yuri. "Minhyuk?"

"Yep. He's been in the country for a while now. Fancy giving me a hand with the interview?"

"Me? I mean," she bit her lip. "I wasn't part of the original investigation."

"I know, but in light of what you've found out and the fact that you're now my partner, Goh thinks it's okay."

"You told Goh?!"

"I had to. I can't restart the investigation without his permission."

Jeon stared at her for a few moments, trying to gauge her reaction. "So, what do you say?"

"Alright. Let's nail this bastard."

Ahreum was late. She had a meeting with one of her professors to decide on which medical stream she'd specialize in. Despite using forensics as an excuse to distract Seulgi, she was seriously considering it now. Deciding to pursue medicine had been a drastic career switch for Ahreum, and a lot of people had questioned her decision relentlessly. But if there was something she had learnt in the years following her parents' divorce, it was patience and the ability to block out irrelevant conversations. Namjoon had always been immersed in his studies, barely affected by the bitterness existing between their parents. Ahreum, barely in high school, felt lost and helpless during those times. After the divorce, things had become less tumultuous and she was able to see her parents as individual entities. That was when she realized that her father was never going to like any of her decisions, no matter how hard she tried to please him, and her mother preferred to stay aloof at the best of times. Ahreum learnt pretty early in life, that she needed to be there for herself. She loved her brother and parents, though the latter a lot less than the former. Her decision to study English Literature and Creative Writing had been a spur of the moment one - dictated more by the fact that her high school boyfriend was going to study at a major Arts university. She didn't really regret any of her decisions. Her degree had led her to finding a hobby she adored - photography. And having a freelance job meant that she could stay with Namjoon - who earned a significantly larger amount than her - and move whenever he needed to move as well. This was also how she had met Taehyung 3 years ago - a happy coincidence of events when she had been taking pictures outside the museum at Seoul. They had started talking about art and photography, eventually realizing that they lived in the same part of the city. In addition to Yuri, she also considered Taehyung to be her best friend. She had seen him during one of his lowest moments when Seokjin had left home; and then some time later when he had found Seokjin living in the town Ahreum and Namjoon had recently shifted to, she had stayed by him as he grappled with his anger and frustration towards his older brother until an eventual reconciliation.

But at this moment, she was beginning to lose patience with him. Five minutes before she was about to leave for her meeting, she received a bunch of frantic texts from him.

8.25 am

T: ahreum?? are u up??

T: jimins still in custody

T: im so worried

8.26 am

T: u there?

T: i want to visit him...

T: will u come with me?

8.27 am

T: hey

T: ???

T: i didnt sleep much so i dont wanna drive there

8.28 am

T: are u sleeping?

T: ???

He knew she had a meeting today. He knew how important the meeting was for her. She had spoken about it many times. Not for the first time, Ahreum wondered whether Taehyung cared about her beyond what directly concerned him. If it wasn't somehow relevant to him, he never seemed to remember much. It was a careless apathy that had hurt her during the beginning of their friendship, but she had accepted it as a part of him.

Her meeting was at 9 am and she usually needed 20 minutes to get there on her bike. She closed her eyes and mentally rehearsed the points she was going to bring up during her meeting. Her phone pinged once more, breaking her concentration.

8.30 am

T: hey

T: can u pick me up?

She frowned and shot a quick text before pocketing her phone and strapping on her helmet.

A: sorry have a meeting... talk later

As Ahreum sped through the narrow lanes, she was convinced that there was no way she was going to talk to Taehyung today. He would have to manage on his own for once.

Yuri and Jeon sat across from a very nervous Park Minhyuk, his bloodshot eyes indicating that he had been brought in after a rough night.

"Good morning." Jeon began the interview, his notes stacked neatly in front of him. "You were very hard to get a hold of, Mr. Park. Specifically because your company categorically states that you've been out of the country for business."

"I-" His face was white as a sheet.

"When we called your office, we were told that you are often out of the country on business trips. Short trips," Jeon flipped through his notes. "A fortnight, 20 days at max. Your secretary was very obliging - he told us that you traveled on October 12th and returned on October 27th. Then left the country again on November 1st and returned on November 16th. Another trip between November 22nd and December 6th. And finally, one more on December 10th from which you still haven't returned."

"Your phone records are very interesting, Mr. Park," said Yuri, joining in. "I'm DI Choi, by the way, and I will be assisting DI Jeon as his partner on the case. Now -" she opened the file in front of her and took out a particular page - "is this your cell phone number?"

"Yes, but-"

"Our Telecomms division looked over recent activity over the last 3-4 months. While your office confirms that you have been on multiple trips out of the country from October onwards, your phone has been operating in Korea for almost two months. Can you tell us why?"

Minhyuk remained silent, his hands clenched on the table.

"Do you recognize this?" Yuri placed a plastic bag on the table and moved it towards him.

The remaining color drained from Minhyuk's face as he stared at the ring inside the plastic bag.

"Let me help you out, Mr. Park," she continued. "This is an heirloom from your mother's side of the family. There was three such rings - one buried with your mother, one on your brother's finger, and one found at the scene of Son Eunbi's murder. Can you tell us how your ring found its way to a murder scene?"

"I didn't kill her!" Minhyuk looked like he was going to pass out. Jeon poured some water into a glass and passed it to him.

"She was dead when I got there!" he said after gulping down the water. His hands were shaking by this point.

"If she was dead when you got there, why didn't you call the police?"

"I..."

Faced with a possible murder charge, Minhyuk looked frightened but not nearly as forthcoming with an alibi as one would have hoped.

"Mr. Park," Yuri spoke after a period of silence. "Did you know that Ms. Son had a three year old daughter named Gina?"

Minhyuk gulped, his eyes breaking contact with hers. He removed his hands from where they had been clenched on the table, choosing to hide them in his lap.

"Are you Gina's father?" she continued. Minhyuk head shot up at her question.

"H-how did-"

"When did you find out?" she asked.

Minhyuk sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I guess there's no point in denying it since you know everything." He reached out and finished the remaining water in the glass. "In October, after I came back from a trip, I happened to meet her by chance and Gina was with her. It was odd, the way that she tried to avoid talking to me. And the fact that Gina also had clear grey eyes."

For the first time since the interview started, Yuri realised the resemblance between the Park brothers was limited but striking. Their eyes were the exact same shade of grey - while Jimin looked cold and unwelcoming, Minhyuk's glasses did well to give him a warmer appearance.

"I asked her why she hadn't contacted me when she got pregnant. Or in the three years since Gina was born."

"What did she say?" asked Yuri, softly.

"She was scared that I wouldn't believe her." Tears had started to roll down his cheeks. "I loved her... so much. And then she just disappeared one day. I tried so hard to find her but..."

Jeon poured another glass of water for him.

"I told her how happy I was to hear about Gina. That I wanted us to be a proper family. I was willing to do whatever was necessary if that's what she wanted as well. I think she was beginning to warm up to the idea. I even told my father to postpone my next trip so that I could spend a little more time with both of them. But-"

"But?"

Minhyuk stared at his hands, looking tired and dejected. "He - uh, he wasn't happy when he heard about Gina. My father has very particular expectations."

"What did he say to you? Did he threaten you, Mr. Park?"

Minhyuk let out a soft chuckle. "My father doesn't threaten. He suggests."

"And what did he suggest you do about Gina and Eunbi?" asked Jeon.

"That I stay away from them. For the sake of my inheritance."

"And did you?"

"I was planning to... I-I was meant to travel the next day and I thought I would go and see her once more before I left. But when I got there..."

Minhyuk covered his face with his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself.

"What happened when you got there, Mr. Park?"

"She was lying there... in a pool of blood. Gina was asleep in the back. I-I didn't kill her. You have to believe me."

Yuri and Jeon exchanged a quick look as Minhyuk protested his innocence. They were aware that the homeless man had killed Son Eunbi. The DNA found at the crime scene confirmed the fact that he had stabbed her. But they needed Minhyuk to give them as much information as possible.

"I'm afraid we do not conduct our investigations based on belief, Mr. Park," continued Yuri, shuffling her notes meaningfully. "You still haven't provided us with an alibi for that night. Strange thing - the Park family seem to have a particular aversion towards providing alibis. Your brother was also extremely resistant when we spoke to him."

"You spoke to Jimin? What for?" Minhyuk's expression had changed completely. He looked strangely alert.

"I guess you aren't aware that Jimin was arrested for the murder of Kang Eunwoo on December 15th." Jeon spoke deliberately, hoping to elicit a reaction. And he was successful.

"What?! That's impossible! There's no way he could've done that!"

"Why are you so certain of that?"

"Because he was with me on December 15th!"

"I'm sorry but we can't take you at your word. You can't even provide a proper alibi for yourself on the night of Son Eunbi's murder. How can we be sure that the two of you aren't just covering up for each other?"

It was then that Minhyuk realised that he would need to come clean. There was no way to save Jimin without telling them the entire story.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll tell you everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes. If it can help Jimin, I'm willing to risk my father finding out."

Yuri glanced at Jeon who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

"Go on."

"After I saw Eunbi... lying there, I couldn't leave Gina. No matter what my father had said, I couldn't leave my daughter in such a situation. So I... took her away with me."

"Where is Gina now, Mr. Park?" Yuri asked, frowning.

"She's safe."

"Where is she?" asked Jeon, sharply.

"In Busan. I have an apartment there and she's been with me since that day."

"Why didn't you tell the police that you had her? Why does your company believe that you are abroad on a business trip?"

Minhyuk rubbed his eyes tiredly and drank some more water. "I couldn't let my father find out. Jimin and I have an apartment in Busan that we bought under a different name. It was a place our father couldn't find us. Gina's been staying there with me since 2nd November."

"Are you sure your father thinks you're abroad? It doesn't seem like something easy to cover up."

"Jimin helped with that," said Minhyuk, leaning back into the cold metal chair. "He told father that I had run away because he hadn't been understanding of my situation with Gina and Eunbi. Jimin's good at convincing people - it's a talent he's barely ever put to good use."

"So Jimin knew that you were hiding in a secret apartment with your recently discovered daughter?"

"Yes, he did. I have an alibi for 2nd November. I was in a meeting till 9 pm and then stopped for drinks at a nearby fried chicken place till 11 pm. I was a bit tipsy after that, which is why I decided to visit Eunbi and Gina. After taking Gina away from there, I went to Jimin's place, got the keys to the apartment and drove straight there. I think I reached around 2 am."

Yuri jotted down all this information, making a note to check on every new detail that had been mentioned.

"What about December 15th? You said Jimin was with you. Why?" asked Jeon, folding his arms across his chest.

"We meet once a week to make sure everything is going okay," said Minhyuk, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Sundays are usually the best days for that."

"Where did you meet?"

"At the local ice-cream shop," Minhyuk frowned, trying to remember something. "You know the one near the end of town?"

"The Dairy Berry? Yes, I know which one you're talking about." Jeon gave Yuri a brief nod to confirm that this was a legitimate spot and not something Minhyuk was making up on the spot.

"Gina loves sweet things and I thought it would be easier to take her with me the same day I met Jimin. I think we were there till 10 pm. After that, I dropped Jimin at a bar and drove back home."

"Which bar was this?" asked Yuri.

"Sunset."

"And you drove straight home after that?"

"You can check the dash cam on my car and the security tapes at my apartment building, if you want."

"We definitely will, Mr. Park," said Jeon, surveying him carefully. "In the meantime, you will be in custody until we have verified each and every single thing you just told us. So I suggest you keep yourself hydrated."

Yuri could feel a pair of eyes on her as she spoke to Jisoo and Suho.

"We need to verify everything that Park Minhyuk told us. But there's a lot of ground to cover and we've lost quite a bit of time since the murder of Son Eunbi. So I suggest you recruit some uniformed officers as well." Jisoo jotted down the locations and the times they needed to verify, and nodded to Suho to indicate she had forwarded the details to him. "We need to get the information as soon as possible."

"Will do," said Suho, giving her a reassuring nod.

Yuri waited for them to leave before walking over to the person who had been watching her for a while.

"Did you want to talk about something?" she asked Seulgi.

"I-" Seulgi tugged at her sleek, high ponytail, looking oddly hesitant. She seemed in a better mood than earlier in the morning when she had almost scared one of the interns into leaving the country. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah- " Yuri checked the clock on her phone - "just a minute though. I'm waiting for Jeon to get a warrant from Goh."

"Did he-? I mean, Jimin, uh... have you...? You know-" It was strange to see her grappling for words. "Are you certain he's done it?"

Yuri stared at her for a second. This wasn't what she had been expecting Seulgi to talk about. The doctor's relationship with Jimin was even more puzzling than she had originally perceived it.

"We're looking into it right now." She paused, trying to gauge Seulgi's reaction. "But you already know about the blood sample match - that, in itself, is pretty damaging."

"Y-yeah, I know."

Before Yuri could say anything more, Jeon came out of the Chief Inspector's office. "We've got a warrant to search Minhyuk's apartment. Let's go."

Glancing one more time at Seulgi's ashen face, Yuri put on her coat and scarf and followed Jeon out the exit.

Once inside Jeon's car, Yuri debated whether or not she should attempt to engage him in conversation. Her decision was made for her when he drove onto the main road, and lowered the volume of the police scanner.

"What was Seulgi saying?" he asked, his eyes focused on the road.

"Just where we were in the investigation."

"I see."

Yuri fiddled with the button on her coat, itching to say more.

"What's the deal with her and Jimin?" she finally asked.

"I- what do you mean?" Jeon raised his eyebrow and gave her the most puzzled expression he could muster while trying to stay focused on the crazy traffic.

"Their relationship is... weird. He keeps flirting with her, and she is on the verge of ripping his guts out at every given moment. But just now, she seemed almost worried about him."

"I don't really know... they've never really seen eye-to-eye on much." Jeon checked the rear view mirror to make sure he was clear before deftly changing lanes. "Jimin has always been the person who tries his utmost to push everyone's buttons. And Seulgi... well, she has a lot of buttons."

Yuri snorted loudly. "That tells me nothing and everything at the same time. You really have a way with words, Jeon."

He smirked at this, his eyes never leaving the road. "So does that mean you trust me now?"

"No." She looked at him and caught the way his face fell slightly at her response. "But who knows what the future holds..."

The smirk was back.

Ahreum had a terrible headache. She usually didn't get many headaches. So on the rare occasion that she did, it put her in a really terrible mood. The only person who knew how to handle this situation properly was Namjoon. He knew that she needed silence, dim lighting, green tea, fresh bread, and absolutely no unexpected company.

So when Ahreum got home after her grueling 3 hour long meeting, hoping to relax and recuperate, she wasn't too pleased to find Taehyung sitting in her living room, playing a very loud game on his tablet.

"You're back!" he yelled, once she slammed the door to make her presence felt. "I've been waiting for hours. How was your meeting?"

"'S okay," she replied, shortly. Taking off her coat, she opened the middle cabinet in the kitchen and searched for the green tea.

"Great! So do you wanna go and visit Jimin now?"

"No."

"What? Why not? You don't have anything else to do right now. Just come with me. Please!" He had walked into the kitchen and was standing in front of her with a pout on his lips.

As endearing as she always found his antics, Ahreum was at breaking point. She placed the cup on the counter with a loud clink, and turned to face him.

"Because I don't have time to follow you on your every whim, Taehyung. Because I have a life of my own. Because I am studying medicine, which, if you aren't aware, is a very taxing occupation." She paused for a breath, as his mouth fell open in shock. "Because I am not your babysitter. Or your handler. Or your caretaker. And I'm tired of being responsible for you. You're a grown ass adult and it's about time you acted like one."

"Ahreum, I'm-" His eyes were wide and worried, and she felt a tiny sliver of remorse. "I don't think you're my babysitter or handler or whatever. You're my best friend."

"I thought so too. In fact," she said, looking away from him. "I thought we were, or we could be, more."

"W-what? Ahreum?" Taehyung sounded so lost and confused that she was tempted to console him.

She walked to the front door and held it open for him. "I think you should leave now. I'm tired, I have a headache, and I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"Wait! What did you mean by that?" he asked, hesitantly standing at the entrance.

"I'm tired, Taehyung. I don't have the energy to explain everything to you. Now, please," she began closing the door slowly. "I want to rest."

"It's clear!" The uniformed officer confirmed to them, before opening the door further.

"Okay, let's see whether little Gina is here," instructed Jeon, his face drawn into a frown.

Yuri nodded and walked into the room on the left of the large living area. It was a study of sorts, with a large wooden desk, a swiveling chair, and shelves upon shelves of books. She quickly checked to see if there was anyone in the room before shouting "clear!". There was another door connecting to a smaller room, it's walls bathed in bright sunlight and smelling of soft lavender. This was clearly some sort of guest room, judging by the inconsistent decor theme. The furniture looked sleek and modern, but the sheets on the bed were soft and pastel colored. A bunch of soft toys stood leaning against the flat screen tv, and Yuri realised that this was probably the room that had been hastily fixed up for a small child's unexpected stay. And sure enough, soft strands of brown hair peaked through the large covers on the bed.

She walked over to the bed slowly, not wanting to startle the child. Yuri barely managed to stifle a gasp as she looked into the child's clear grey eyes - the same color as both Park Minhyuk and Park Jimin.

"Hello," she said, softly. "Are you Gina?"

The little girl nodded, bringing the covers closer towards her.

"I'm a police officer. I help catch bad people." She didn't respond, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Do you want to go to your dad, Gina?" She nodded vigorously, sitting up at the mention of her father. "Okay, we will. But first, tell me, are you okay? Do you feel pain anywhere?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Are you sleepy?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Are you hungry?"

Slowly, she nodded her head.

"Okay, we'll go and see your dad, and also get you something to eat. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful."

It was just after 2 pm and Yuri felt completely drained. After they had found Gina, she had insisted on returning to the station to ask Jimin about his alibi for the night of Kang Eunwoo's murder. From what she had understood, he had refused to provide an alibi to protect his brother and keep him out of the police's radar until the situation with Gina worked out. Even though she still couldn't get herself to consider him a pleasant person, his desire to protect his brother had humanized him a great deal in her eyes.

Sure enough, once he was made aware that Minhyuk had come forward and spoken about his daughter and the events of the past month and a half, Jimin looked much less hostile than before.

"I was at Sunset from around 10.30 pm to closing time - which is 2 am," he said, sighing tiredly and rubbing his face with his hands. "You can confirm with them."

While Minhyuk and Jimin's alibis were verified, Yuri received a text from Namjoon, asking her and Jeon to meet him at Seokjin's bakery. It was barely a 2 minute drive there, so Jeon suggested they get lunch over there and make it before Goh finished compiling the list of paperwork for them to finish.

The smell of freshly baked milk bread wafted out of the kitchen, adding another layer of warmth to Seokjin's cozy shop. The man in question picked up the large tray filled with various different confections, and brought it over to the table by the window.

"Peach danish and americano for Namjoon, chocolate fudge brownie and vanilla bean ice cream for Jeongguk, and a snow croissant and hot chocolate for Yuri." He placed everything on the table, before grabbing his lukewarm cup of tea and sitting down with them.

"So you finally find the child, then?" asked Seokjin, sipping the tea. He made a face at the odd taste that tea acquires when it's between comfortingly steamy and soothingly chilled.

"Yeah we did," Yuri replied, when her partner remained silent. "Goh is dealing with Minhyuk and the custody charges. It's no longer in our jurisdiction."

"Namjoon, how's grad school treating you?" Seokjin diverted the conversation, realising that his friend wasn't ready to talk about the case at that moment. "How much longer do you have?"

"A few more months and I should be done." Namjoon wiped the pastry flakes from the corner of his mouth and nearly tipped over his americano in the process. Yuri chuckled at this, suddenly remembering those random moments in high school where Namjoon was a lot thinner and less confident, but still had a propensity for knocking things over.

"Remind me why you're putting yourself through this?" Seokjin broke off a piece of the peach danish and popped it into his mouth.

"The last time I tried to explain that, you spaced out and created a new pastry recipe for your menu. As much as I like helping your business flourish, I'm gonna preserve my energy and only talk about things when necessary."

Seokjin chuckled and picked up a spoon from the dispenser. "Jeongguk, can I get a bit of ice cream from you?" There was no response, and looking at him for confirmation Seokjin's eyebrows shot up in alarm.

"Okay okay, I won't eat any of your ice cream. You don't have to tear up about it!"

Yuri and Namjoon turned towards him as well, not sure what to do when they saw tears slowly sliding down Jeongguk's cheeks.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" asked Namjoon, patting his shoulder softly.

They sat in silence, as Jeongguk sobbed softly and wiped his face with his coat sleeve. He turned towards Yuri, his eyes glazed with tears but holding a soft radiance unlike what she was used to.

"Thank you."

Yuri felt her face heat up suddenly. This wasn't what she had been expecting. The soft sincerity in his voice startled her. It was nothing like the person she had met only a week ago. She looked away abruptly and nodded her head.

"There's nothing to thank me for. This is our job."

Jeongguk smiled and resumed eating the disgustingly sweet dessert combination in front of him. He nudged Seokjin to take some ice cream like he had originally intended. There was silence once more, but this time, it was very different.

Back at the station, Yuri finished the paperwork for the day. There was a lot to complete, and since they had stopped at Seokjin's for a break, they had lost some time as well. Goh had been very clear about completing all the paperwork for social services to take over the case from them now that Gina had been found.

It was barely even 5 pm but Yuri felt a large yawn coming on for the third time in the past few minutes. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to carry on without getting proper sleep at night. At this rate, she would eventually burn out. There was only so much coffee could do for her.

A light tap brought her attention to another person standing in her cubicle. She looked up to see Jeon holding two steaming cups of ramen, tilting his head slightly to confirm whether it was okay for him to sit down.

"Did you need anything?" she asked, after moving her slightly. He placed the ramen on her desk and pulled up his own chair and sat down.

"I've got a peace offering," he gestured to the ramen. "I wanted to apologize properly for being an absolute dickhead to you. I-" He hesitated, looking down at his hands that lay clenched on his lap - "I don't really have an excuse for my behavior but I had a lot on my mind. Particularly about finding the little girl. And, well... you really don't know what solving this case means to me."

Once again, Yuri wasn't sure how to react. She felt embarrassed that he was thanking her for doing her job - something that he did as well. While she appreciated his apology, his entire being remained confusing to her.

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "And thanks for the ramen; food is always appreciated."

Thankfully, her computer ping-ed with a new email before the atmosphere could get any more awkward.

"Okay, we've confirmed Minhyuk's alibi's for 2nd November and 15th December. He wasn't involved in either murder. Jimin was with Minhyuk till 10.15 pm on 15th December - his car's dash cam confirms that he dropped Jimin off at Sunset bar around that time."

"Fantastic! And what about the CCTV footage at Sunset? Does it confirm Jimin's story? He said he was there till 2 am."

"Hang on, I'm opening the report. Th-" she stopped abruptly, frowning at the screen.

"What?" asked Jeon, looking over her shoulder to read the email.

"CCTV footage does not place Jimin at Sunset from 10.15 pm till closing time at 2 in the morning. He doesn't have an alibi for Eunwoo's murder."

She turned to look at him, an odd sense of foreboding hitting her as she realized that they would have to charge Jimin for murder by the next evening. He held her gaze, his dark eyes reflecting a similar shadow of doubt.

please reblog and leave a comment if you liked this part! thank you! 😊 

[leafy-wings]

glory for the ask meme?

good morning!

for this ask meme

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbiab Gender Headcanon: nonbinery.. demigirl maybe. “girl maybe but fruity” A ship I have with said character: i postulated this before tentatively but; glory x snowfall? ehh? i really want to write a fic of them hanging out, where glory introduces snowfall to the idea of suntime, mirroring the scene in hidden kingdom where its like “the first lesson is to sleep. you need it” yknow! glory understands snowfalls queen trauma so well, glorys young too and while her legacy is success she only became queen to save her tribe in the face of a horrific prophecy. i would love to see a more slowburn for snowfall realizing nightwings are pretty ok and glory could help, sympathizing with the things that they did while under pressure while still forgiving/not forgiving them. like i think glorys the best character for making the point of; what happened to you was wrong, bad, and unnecessary, it was done with malicious intent, but those that did it thought it necessary, were not doing it for fun, and no longer have the need to do it. the intersection between.. justice, revenge, and healing vs sympathizing and understanding the grief those against you might be going through and understanding that since theyre not going away you need to come to terms with them. ofc their situations are different but i think a nice parallel and different enough to make a point. id love to see them argue about how the monarchy is bad or maybe have snowfall consider lax rainwing protocol for icewing society as well as the games to become queen so she doesnt have to kill or be killed. i also kinda maybe ship snowfall x hazel so maybe all 3 of them are there. i like it A BROTP I have with said character: i want glory and peril to be friends.. i wanna write a short character study fic about them and how they viewed their time under scarlet. i think of all people glory would understand needing to be weaponized to keep oneself safe, and i like the idea of peril more apprehensive to approach glory because of her emotions. she feels more feelings than peril does who only ever really feels angry or excited. OH YEAH i really wanted to write a fic where they have a lil therapy session because sunny insists upon it, but its only the two of them to see if they can socialize, where glorys supposed to drop her mask scales because hiding her emotions isnt healthy while peril has to try and pin down her feelings while they talk because she needs to learn social cues and other dragons feelings and what better way than with a dragon who shows their feelings so clearly? i just want them to talk about the fallout of the prophecy in a very frank and understanding way. plus i like tsunami and glory, i feel like perhaps tsunami was not nice enough to glory while under the mountain while still wanting to defend them, tsunamis shtick is trying to protect her friends while glorys shtick is trying to protect herself and a few save dragons around her. id love to see the both of them try and get the other to have more wide reaching empathy for others as well as. argue the ethics of being queens gfhjgfd A NOTP I have with said character: glory and deathbringer i fucking hate deathbringer. aside from the age (and yes actually id be uncomfortable with an 18 year old dating a 30+ year old too yeah thank you) deathbringer is just too immature and giddy and non serious. i know the conceit is supposed to be, just like thorn/smolder, that its a character who is serious and haughty as a defense mechanism getting their walls broken down by someone who pushes them into having fun where theyre actually also fun and mischievious and joking on the inside, but like. this is NOT the time. hes annoying and aggravating and i dont see the charming aspect when i know that glory is young and traumatized and in the midst of basically the worst event of her life and deathbringer is basically the first dragon whos nice to her SPECIFICALLY to flirt with her. and i cant believe that deathbringer knew WELL That the rainwings were being kidnapped and tortured TO DEATH and didnt do basically anything to warn her. he is a NIGHTWING adult during the time in which they are enslaving her tribe so i can safely side with snowfall on this one and say Fuck Nightwings Until They Repent. A random headcanon: glory definitely makes wide reforms to rain/night society in regards to being more progressive and welcoming. making more accessible houses for houseless rainwings, getting rainwings to actually raise children, getting schools and places for therapy, just overseeing all the business of the rain/night kingdom to have it be more “normal”. not that she wants them to act like other tribes because thats “normal”, no, of course not, she loves her tribe(s) including with all their strangeness and proclivity for nature, but.. sometimes legislature is there for a reason so you dont get unfair treatment, and glory only seeks to see her tribe treated fairly General Opinion over said character: i like glory! shes one of my favorites; i sympathize with her a lot in being traumatized and unsure of how to deal with it. the part at the start of the book where she ruminates about kind of missing being with scarlet hit me so hard... i understand how it is when youre traumatized so thoroughly and basically alone though you have friends AROUND you, that you become a bit “selfish” because you just want to see yourself safe, and then the ensuing protectiveness you feel over people like you. i like that she cares about justice, which is not always kind and given through nice words. i do wish her trauma about being almost MURDERED by her guardians as well as abused ALL HER FUCKING LIFE was grappled with more (and yes im one of the anti sunnys who think she was a real bitch for demanding that glory forgive the dragons who TAUGHT HER SHE WAS WORTHLESS. if sunny feels bad for the guardians who didnt abuse her to the extent that they did glory than thats HER issue, and she has no place pushing the decision to forgive them onto glory, when iirc webs never even fucking feels bad). she also gets a hard case of “turns into nothing when its not her POV” and so fucking aggravatingly is that her given personality trait is “i love my boyfriend who is 2x my age”. her aggression, sense of justice, wittiness and haughtiness are scrubbed clean and replaced with little romantic quips with some guy i hate. she has so much left to her character and so much insight to offer in a lot of what happens in the book but, no, shes just set aside.. id also love to see what shes actually doing as queen

[twoforts]

notes for a longform mother daughter blu spy and blu scout angst fic that i wanted to write below the cut

its probably never going to get written lol

also sorry if theres anything cringe in there i havent looked at this in a long while

enemies to friends/found family snowed in BLU Scout + BLU Spy fanned fiction

OCT252020 at 245AM

BLU scout

inspiration:

- Allison Bechdel (in her novel Fun home)

- Carolina (from rvb)

ambitious, loud, secretive*, competitive

*scout knows how to distract from questions by answering questions that werent asked. she also is able to avoid seeming secretive by being open about too many other things. the queen of TMI, she talks too much, so it makes others eager to shut her up, and not pry.

BLU spy

inspiration:

- Allison Bechdel's Father (Fun Home novel)

- [ a teacher from my hs ]

- the Director (from RvB)

- Vespa (The Penumbra Podcast)

depressed, followed by dread, tragedy and death; know-it-all, unlucky (spy is the black cat), spy has issues with remembering faces due to brain damage, she has also convinced everyone that she is swedish

> followed by death, spy eventually realizes she doesnt want to kill anymore, even though death isnt permanent here, its stench follows her. she no longer wants any part in the violence.. she wants to heal, and for a while, she does. but she could only keep it up for so long.. recovery affected her performance for the worst, and the killings of her teammates and their pitiful stares snapped her into relapse. as her mental state continued to deteriorate, she only became more lethal, furthering her decline. the blood on her hands. the cold snow.

Chapter Title / Major event outline

Chapter 1

the meeting / the reunion

scout arrives to meet her mercenary team for the first time.

maybe looking over the dossiers again on the train just before arrival

put emphasis on meeting the spy?

maybe after each character is introduced, scout thinks something non-specific but referring, maybe at the end of the day when she finally gets to her room

Chapter 2-4?

working title

scout getting to know the team members. she tries to act natural, and succeeds. the mercenary shes most interested in is the spy, but no one knows. as scout gets to know the spy, the scout, who admires ambition, begins to hate what she sees. the spy, who is a depressed and broken shell of a woman (to the scout). Knowing what the scout knows, she hates this about the spy, and almost says things she shouldnt(things about spy being her mom), and actually says other things(harsh things about spy and her personality, as well as things she cant really control) and when scout returns to her room that night, she cries, both for herself and the spy.

Chapter 5-(X-1)

- events that happen between here:

the team doing very well with scout's arrival

- scout getting to know team members

spy making progress toward recovering from deep deep depression, but seeing less results from her work

- side stories involving other team members

- scout growing to hate the spy

- spy learning to hate scout as well

- spy growing more depressed and doing better at her job as a spy compared to when she was recovering, and the turmoil this brings

- the team doing very poorly due to multiple internal conflicts

- the team continuing to do poorly

- various chapters regarding the scout's past, each with holes to be filled both by the future scout, and finally the future spy

- ^ including scouts search for spy, and what scout knows about her

Chapter X-(X+2)THREE PARTS

THIS IS THE MIDPOINT OF THE FIC

the turning point / reconciliation

the chapters where scout and spy stop being so awful to each other for the sake of helping their team win a match for once.

PART ONE (X)

a major event or wake-up call happens and they decide they need to bury the hatchet

PART TWO (X+1)

they have trouble getting along still. they have bad synergy and while both are trying to make amends, they dont see eye to eye, which builds frustration in both of them.

PART THREE (X+2)

an epiphany, something clicks, and theyre both trying and succeeding at being decent to each other. baby steps... there are still incidents, but they begin working through it constructively

Y=X+3

Chapter Y-(End-1)

from here, scout and spy have their ups and downs. this is the friends part of the fic. where any remaining malice is squashed. where trust is built, broken down, and built again, until scout and spy become the two people who fundamentally understand and respect each other the most in this world. genuine care is built. by now we know that both spy and scout are lesbians, which they bond over. they go on a one-on-one mission together, that for once, works out really well. and spy. The Spy. First name "The" Last name "Spy", The "i am unknowable" spy, decides to confide in scout, which brings us to the last chapter(s).

Chapter (End) (potentially multiple chapters)

The end / the spy with nine lives

as an ultimate mark of trust, spy tells the loudmouthed scout about what happened to her, something she isnt proud of, but isnt sure she regrets. a large step in healing for the spy, and pretty utterly unheard of. (flashback chapter in the life of the once young spy)

**** ABUSE, FAMILY DEATH, PERIOD BIGOTRY ETC. CW FOR THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH

the spy was abused at a young age, her elder brother was murdered when she was young as well. spy lived in russia as a lesbian. she knew at a young age, she would kiss women, offer propositions and the like. she got caught one day. to avoid being institutionalized, she married the first man she met, who then abused her, and tried to trap her in the marriage by getting her pregnant. Spy kills her husband shortly after recovering from childbirth, fakes her death, and leaves the child, and her old life behind. she flees to sweden, where she meets, and loses the love of her life. she leaves sweden. spy does a lot of misguided living... at first she does her best to check up on her daughter, but only 3 years in, spy loses track and feels like a failure. the first of many failures in her career in espionage. at one point she tried to get lobotomized herself, she gave herself brain damage and amnesia. she is the kind of person who, despite any kind of perseverance or optimism, dread and death and despair follows her... no matter how hard she tries. spy eventually finds herself where she is now, and no matter how many times she wants to forget all the lives before her, she never stops wondering what became of her offspring.

******** END CW

epilogue

upon hearing this, scout receives the definitive answers she was looking for. and for old competitions sake, relishes in knowing something the spy doesnt. then they cry on each other again or something (scout knows spy is her mother, but spy does not know scout is her daughter and thats the end of the fic or something)

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Sweaters Any Fucking Fic Challenge Masterlist

Anyone that joined in my first challenge, THANK YOU for making this everything that it was. Everyone's hard work and stories were just incredible, the prompts really made into something special, and I'm just blown away with how incredible all of it came out. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! Below you will find all the fics entered. 

All the writers on this list are so talented with there characters. I highly suggest looking at there Masterlists and exploring some of there other pieces. I am so pleased with everyone who participated, and I hope you all enjoy the hard work and love they all put into these pieces.   

Why Are You Awake Right Now? written by @evans713 Chris x Y/N. You must resist the temptation to call Chris. No matter what, you even recruited the help of your best friend to keep you away. But of course, You can't sleep, and it's getting so hard to keep yourself occupied. This was so good! I was held in so much suspense the entire time.  

Bucky and The Bed (5) written by @that-damn-girl Bucky Barnes x Y/N.  You and Bucky are stranded in the middle of a snowy nowhere when there is an ‘electronic blackout’ during your mission. With no back ups or any way to contact your team, you take refuge from the worsening weather in the only small house you find  in miles. Not to mention, with no power, Bucky has become your personal heater and there’s only one bed.

The Lockscreen (Drabble) written by @stuckonjbbarnes Steve x Stella (OC) Steve asks for his phone back from Stella while they (Bucky as well) are all hanging out. Stella finds Steves background quite amusing, but there is payback as well. Very Cute preview to stuckonjbbarnes upcoming fic. 

Piss Baby written by @lielullabye Steve x 10percent Reader. Steve apparently has a bit of a jealous side when it comes to you. Especially when your enjoying yourself while hanging out with Thor. Will this come between your friendship? Really love her 10 percent reader Masterlist and everyone should go check out the dynamics between these two. 

On The Run written by @iwritethingstoo Dark!Gambit/Remy LeBeau x Kimi (OC) Kimi made a choice, and that was to stay with Remy although Hunted by the X-Men. Once a decision is made, she has to return for something valuable left behind. But can it be retrieved before all hell with the X-Men break loose? Really awesome! action packed and a damn good time. 

Logan's Peace written by just-marvel-fanfics Logan Howlett (Wolverine) x Dr. Marabel Roche (OC). Logan has himself a little slice of paradise, a safe haven. But it is a place, or is it a person? To watch these two interact is a true treasure and absolutely adored these two. Note- Sadly this blog had to be deactivated. But she did write this story specifically for me, it will stay on this list. It was a marvelous piece of writing, showing us her personal characters. 

Morning Lovin' written by @donutloverxo Ransom Drysdale x Y/N You have to head into work, but Ransom has other plans for you. Unfortunately your life isn't one of luxery like his is. But he has ways to have you change your mind. 

Bad Things written by @nellblazer Dark!Biker Bucky x Y/N Bucky is in a Mood. When life seems pretty basic, everyday, in you walk in search of your dumbass biker brother. Bucky can't help notice you right away and takes a liking to you. He knows who he wants now. So good, and gotta say I fell hard for Bucky in this fic.  

Hurt written by @just-the-hiddles Sir Thomas Sharpe x Clara Appleton (OC) Clara never thought her life would be that exciting.  That was until Sir Thomas Sharpe appeared in her father’s office and set her life on a different path. This one had me guessing to the end! SURPRISE ENDING! Loved the twists and turns! 

Alpine? written by @buckeroonie323 Bucky Barnes x Y/N Bucky, with the help of Sam, if preparing a surprise for you. So you MUST STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN. So hanging out in the living room, you happen to see sweet Alpine... with a whole new look. This was so sweet and I loved how adoring Bucky was.  

Nothing Hard About It written by @yespolkadotkitty Geralt x Jaskier. Geralt sends Jaskier down to retrieve an item needed to deal with a quest. While the bard is occupied, Geralt deals with some thoughts racing through his mind. Or tries to. Really loved how they were portrayed, and such a great read. 

Almost Forever (3/3)  written by @what-just-happened-bro Loki x Jesse (OC) Years after the snap and the Avengers decide to take one more chance at it, one more shot at stopping the mad Titan Thanos Snap. If they can retrieve all the stones, is it possible? Jesse is challenged with old faces, old feelings, and maybe they can save the world. Bring back all that was lost. This was such a stunning conclusion. With lots of surprises to be had. Main Story Masterlist found Note- Sadly this original story was on another Blog that had gotten shut down. Should Satan rewrite it on her new account, I will be re-adding to the list. But her Masterlist should absolutely checked out as she is recovering fics lost and writing new ones. A writer with multiple talents, there a bit for everyone.  

I Think I have Been In Love With You for Years-  Part 1 Part 2 written by @deboryanne Peter Parker x spiderwoman Y/N. Peter and You are on a mission that has a slight hiccup. Afterward, you are dealing with a whole new issue, and this isn't quite as easy as being able to just swing away to safety with your Spidey web. So good, and Love the chemistry these two characters have. 

To Loose and You'll Lose It Prologue: Well Fuck Me written by @what-is-your-plan-today and @icanfeelastormbrewing Jake Jensen x Stella Stevenson (OC) Clay and the team is all set to bust up a Children's Sex Traffic Operation with the help of an inside woman. Moving forward, it's time to welcome her to the team. Excellent co-written story, honestly this story has a bit of everything, and you're left with just wanting more.

Broken-hearted written by @nekoannie-chan Steve Rogers x You. Steve and You have a wonderful 2-year-old daughter, Sarah. But the snap takes her away, and you both must rebuild from this tragic loss. If there's a chance to fix it, he has to take that chance, right? So good and really love the angst built into this fic. Shows the characters immense strength. 

Merchant of Death written by @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ Mob Thanos and You. Feared and Respected, a giver to the less fortunate, Thanos has made a name for himself. But that doesn't much matter to you when he's brought into your emergency room. He though can't get enough of you and sets out to make you his. Can you fall in love with a Mobster and still have your values? This was such a great read, incredible from beginning to end. You felt for both the main characters and that ending. Oof! Stunned me. Everyone should go read this fic. 

Annoying Your Neighbors 101: A Guide Book By Steve Rogers written by @fandomsandxfiles-writes​ Steve Rogers x You Going undercover with teammate and friend Steve, you both go to investigate mysterious circumstances in a seemingly nice neighborhood. Your cover? Newlyweds just settling down. Can you two catch the culprit, or are you two catching feelings instead? Damn! I absolutely loved and adored this piece. So damn good. 

On The Run written by @donutloverxo​. Steve Rogers x You. You are married to Steve and come to the realization that things are not always picture-perfect. Then comes a time where Steve is accused of helping a terrorist as well as refusing to sign the accords. You both go on the run, and learn the truth, he was helping his best friend Bucky, who was wrongfully accused. Being on the run means you all have to share close quarters. You and Steve have to get a bit creative at times to be together. Really wonderfully written and I just love the multitude of feelings this reader goes through. SMUT. 

Tempest written by @stargazingfangirl18​. Ransom Drysdale x You. Non Con/Dark. Read at your own risk. Knives out spoilers. Ransom returns home late after Harlan's party, and he isn't himself. Anger and Malice simmer in him, and he turns those frustrations out on you. Once he had his hands on you, there is no getting away. I have a dark soul, and this spoke to me. I loved it, it was exciting, a little scary and Ransom was a force to be reckoned with. 

Blood Roses written by @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ Dark!Steve Rogers x You. You dont know who you are, but Steve is your devoted husband making sure to remind you as well as take care of you. Or so you thought. But things are suspicious and the further you dig into the clues, the more the truth comes out.