#I CANT EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL EVERYTIME I LISTEN TO IT

[ethearepity]

do you ever just accidently find the most scrumpdiliyummerlicious song ever that you literally start ascending to the sky as it plays over and over and over and over again on repeat?

[connormoving]

i never know how to say like. gl with something or like I hope this goes well for you its one of the hardest things to say bc the function is the same as like Praying for you (in like the genuine sense not in the like . thats rough kind of sense. although ig it is?) or whatnot but im not religious so my fallback is like. gl with that!! but that sounds rly shitty and like . i feel like also gl or i hope this goes well is more for like. Theres a hard test or something coming up but if someones just generally like Oh im in a stressful situstion rn and there isnt like an action that they are taking that i can wish them luck on idk how to provide like. I want to say something nice like i hope this works out but that sounds too wishywashy or like. IDKK I OVERTHINK ALL OF IT SO HARD theres like nothing i can ever think of to say and its not a like Ugh i dont know what to say 🙄 its like. i rly want to say something nice to show that i like. feel for you and want to support you i just genuinely dont know how to phrase this and its the worst ever

[havens-iphone]

ᴡʜʏ ʜɪᴍ?✧.*

bestfriend!megumi x f!reader

megumi finally explains to you what toge is trying to do but your caught inbetween thoughts. do you trust him or not?

↳˳;; ❝ part of my jealous? me? never! fic, masterlist here ᵕ̈೫˚∗

content: what do i put here besides the usual..?? ANGST!!!! absoloute zero fluff, not proofread

wc: 639

an: sigh i havent wrote in forever.. oopsies. per usual.. this is short ☹️

﹋﹋

megumi sharply inhales, holding his breathe before deeply exhaling. he opens up his mouth as if to speak, but no words come out.

once he finally stumbles upon the right words, he voices.

"i know this will be hard to believe since all you want is a friend but," he pauses, "all inumaki wants from you is to get you attached and then ditch you. he mainly wants a reaction from me." he finally release those pent up words he has been trying to say forever.

"oh.." you stutter, unsure of what to trust. afterall, megumi may just be jealous and doesnt want you hanging out with toge. on the otherhand, he may be telling the complete truth.

you blink tears away quick, but not quick enough for megumi to not notice. he opens up his arms and you fall into his warm embrace. oh how you've missed it.

"i'm sorry for not believing you all this time megumi i just.." you think, "i just wanted a friend. and it only seemed you were jealous but clearly not!!" you sob into his shoulder.

he makes a soft shhh noise to soothe you down, and it worked. why didnt you believe this man? he knows you more than you mnow yourself.

there was still that possibility that megumi could be lying however. you were a bit suspicious. you wanted to trust him so bad but you didnt know it you could.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

megumi walks outside during lunch, hoping he'd see you at your ex shared table, no toge in sight. but allas, hes greeted with the most ugly sight of all.

toge with his snakey little arms around your waist. holding what should be megumis. he had thought you maybe finally listened. but it was as clear as day you didn’t.

you knew it was wrong, you knew to trust megumi. but you just didn’t. why? why did you act like this? he was one of the only people you could actually trust and you’re just doubting it because of some ‘friendship’? you knew you had been manipulated but you just couldnt leave.

you peeped over toge’s shoulder just to see megumi, tears welling in those beautiful eyes you get lost in everytime-or, did, rather.

now, you were sure he was destined to never talk to you again and to be fair, you wouldn’t blame him. although, there was a small little light of hope in your stomach, hoping maybe you can explain yourself and really express how you feel. maybe actually get on the right track.

you feel wettness glide down your left cheek as you watch megumi turn and walk away from the sight of you and inumaki.

"woah? hey whats wrong y/n? why you cryin'?" inumaki says, attempting to comfort you but never fufilling it like megumi always did.

"sorry, heh.." you wipe your tears, "i got allergies."

inumaki giggles and moves on with the topic you were previously talking about. but, you just cant seem to focus.

you keep letting your mind wander and think about how your going to get megumi back, not even paying any attention to inumaki.

"y/n!! are you listening to me?" the man questions.

"yeah!! of course.." you let a lie slither off of your tongue.

you had a plan to get him back. you just didn't know how long it would take. or how much it would cost but.. you were willing to do anything for that man.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

you lay in your bed, as still as the stump of a tree. you hover your finger over the small little pixels in your screen.

you press the button and let out a sigh of relief. you would finally get a fresh start and come back to megumi once you refresh.

you had just bought a plane ticket to the U.K. you don't know why there but you just needed an escape for a few years.

you had only told your mom and dad what is happening. you leave tomorrow.

you start to pack your bags and let out a few tears but quickly clean them off.

you finish packing your bags and head to bed, knowing you have to be up bright and early for your 6:35 flight.

you needed this, why do you feel bad about it?

@1l-ynn @theweirdfloatything @morideadcat @instabull @sad-darksoul @crispchocolates @adormae

[suiana]

can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person… I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your girlfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life. ahh 😣😣🥺🥺😵😵😢😢😲😲😫😫🤑🤑 /j

౨ৎ

Hey, are you there? Haha.. I know this may sound cheesy, but.. I just really love you. I love everything about you. Whenever I see you online.. I can't help but smile. Seeing you is enough to make me flustered. Seriously, how could such an angelic person such as you be my friend? I really don't deserve you. You're so perfect.. my discord kitten. I'm in love with you. You're the light of my life. Without you, I would've never been this happy. Can we talk more? I enjoy your company. Can we call more? I like listening to your voice. Can we just be with each other for a little longer? I love you so much. I'm sorry if I don't reply, discord daddy needs to do his discord mod work. But don't worry, kitten. I will reply to you ASAP. Haha.. let me get to the point. Can we be... more than friends? Can you be... more than.. just my discord kitten? I want you to be my girlfriend. If not, that's fine.. not like it matters.. haha. I respect whatever you say. But I just really want you to be my girlfriend. I can be your boyfriend.. we can get online married in the future. I'll spoil you with money from my paycheck. I'm deeply in love with you.. FUCK. I love you so much. I can't bear to part from you. I just want to hug you forever. I love your smile, your voice, your personality, your laughter, your everything. I understand if you don't want to be my girlfriend.. after all.. you are more than what I am. I'm just saying.. I can give you yearly discord nitro if you want to be my girlfriend. Honestly, at this point... what I feel is more than love. I can't explain it.. but it is deeper than the word "love." Let's just talk for a little longer. When you go offline.. I immediately miss you. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. I want us to have matching My Dress-Up Darling icons. I want to be closer to you. My darling, my kitten, the love of my life.. please be my girlfriend. I will do anything for you to be my girlfriend.. I can be your boyfriend. Fuck, I love you so much.....

[butchdiaz]

hiiiii your edits are so incredible!!! i've been thinking about trying my hand at video editing do you have any tips?? also how does one source clips lol

hope you're having a good day :)

hi!!!! thank u so much! for sourcing clips, i did it the hard way by downloading full episodes and screen recording the clips i wanted w quicktime which is a lengthy process that takes up a lot of space on ur laptop LOL but i really wanted HD footage and didnt know any other way when i started and now i just have my own little library of clips.

here is a lifesaving site to download eps if u dont wanna/cant torrent. i forget who made it but if someone knows lmk so i can credit!

after i had done all that i discovered that there were these magical things called scene packs that are more popular over on twitter. where u can easily download every buddie scene in s2-4 for example that took me hours to record myself 🤦🏽‍♂️ i dont really have any specific sources for u bc im not on twitter. sorry ik thats not very helpful LMAO but if u ask around/search for them i know they are out there!

and uhhh as far as tips go here are some things i personally think about while editing! everyone has different styles and methods though:) this got long accidentally so its going under the cut oops

- i like to try and tell a story w my edits so im almost always thinking about that first and foremost. like how can i tie the beginning to the end and have a satisfying climax etc. i try to work with the song and highlight the emotional/tonal shifts in the music with my editing

- on that note, i am very influenced by the music while im editing cause i want my edits to LOOK like how it FEELS when im listening to the song. i think my best example of this is im afraid i love you. the drop in the chorus feels like a punch to the gut everytime and i really wanted to visuals to reflect that so it would be the most powerful. hence: soft lovey dovey looks galore and then BAM! SHOOTING. these comments fills my heart with glee cause it makes me feel like i did a good job capturing the feeling the song gives me.

i also really love the way the beat comes in in the second verse of that song and i made sure to sync up the shots to the beat at that moment instead of the words in order to highlight the musical shift. (i always think about how @ilostyou loves that verse and calls it bouncy, it makes me feel like i achieved my goal!!!!)

- the little details and nitpicky stuff goes a long way! like painstakingly making sure clips hit right on time with the beat/the words if thats ur intention. it may seem like a chore at the time but it definitely pays off for me at least

- i also think a LOT about composition, and how to make edits flow smoothly so that the viewer can follow the story easily. if i have a bunch of faster clips in a row im going to try to make sure the focus stays in the same place so the viewers eyes dont have to jump around to find what they are looking for. its easier to explain w an example so in happy to be here, for these three shots on the word "en-gi-neer" i wanted the order to go frank -> dr salazar -> buck.

because then it goes back to frank for "listening" so i wanted space between when it shows him AND i wanted it to end on buck cause he's the most important. but the original shot of dr. salazar was flipped so at first it looked like this:

and i didn't like how ur eyes had to go back and forth so fast, so i flipped the middle clip. it was much easier to process all three clips in quick succession if the subject didn't move. hope that makes sense!

[quaranmine]

Hi, not sure if you remember me, but i sent an ask a while ago saying how i love the Incadescence of a dying light and that i talk about it with my friend and how we both really liked the story and are juts you know discussing it well update to now. we still do that lol. i cant stop thinking about it, i listen to the firewatch OST on the daily, resonating with each track at a time. I love it. I live it. I am enamored. Everytime Im studying Polish (my native language) and revising each epoch for my upcoming finals i cant help but connect themes and motives to that wonderful story of yours. If i land on a fitting topic in my oral final exam (like pop-culture, creativity and arts, certain themes in modern media) you BET Ill be talking about this fic (with all the credit I can give of course!) cause USARWSETDYRVUHUISC I cant get it out of my head. Its such an amazing example of how the media of fanfiction elevates the story to its maximum potential. How knowing the characters makes it so much easier to connect and resonate, even though Mumbo is absent from the majority of the fic, we still feel hurt after finding out whats happened to him. Like, its such an amazing creative medium I love fanfiction and TERSSXEFJNKVCRXSERARXSXERCDJNGIKKDc :thumbsup: oh gosh The Incadescence of a Dying Light. yeah so fun fact i actually had to look up what it means cause i didnt know the word before and oh. oh. oh its so much worse and more painful. really love it, i do, oh i do! I now have acquired (idk how to spell it lul) the never subsiding lust for nature and outdoors and hiking and being a part of it. I love it, you made me regain my love for it. I loved it before, yes, but i was caught up in my own head and had so much stuff i had to do, but now i love to look out my window even more, i love strolling in my garden. i love it. thank you, thank you, thak youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: So yeah, this fic is one of my faves of all time, i like it a lot, it has inspired me to live more and be alive basically and also. and for the end a fanart of an alternative ending where Mumbo somehow survives and just lives in the forest like a wild animal, living his best life, eating berries (i decided on drawing him eating berries [peace love and plants] instead of chowing down [is chowing a word??] on some rabbit lol) and then grian finds him and its super awkward

HI! Yes, of course I remember you! First of all, had a really wild day yesterday at work, but I read this at soooome point on my phone during the middle of the day and it made me smile :)

This ask is just so??? AAAAAAA???? I almost don't know how to respond, because it's just SO wonderful to hear this about something I created. Like I did that? I made a thing that is sticking deeply with people? I'm just soooo <333333

I like your point about how fanfiction can maximize story potential! I think it'd make a wonderful essay topic honestly. I have thought about this in connection with fanfic a lot--specifically, the divide between original fiction and fanfiction. In original works, you have to make the audience care. You have to introduce me to a character, setting, and story I will be interested in. I've read a lot of negative book reviews that start off with "the author didn't make me care about the characters" (i have also...said this myself about books I ended up not liking.) With fanfic, you skip that step! It lets you jump right in. I don't have to explain Mumbo and Grian's friendship or demonstrate it to you. You just Know. Someone reading it fandom blind would get the implication about how important they are to each other simply by seing the depth of Grian's grief, but for my intended audience, I can do whatever I want because I trust you to already have the background information you need.

The title is from a line I really like in a song (Post Humorous by Gus Dapperton). It just...painted such a nice word picture. Especially for a story about grief death and fire!

I just. Love that this fic helped you regain a desire for nature? That just makes me feel...warm, I guess, to know that I was able to spark that with something I created. I hope it goes well for you, and you get to take many walks. This spring I've been using the trails near my aunt's house (not.....hiking paths. too urban.) much more. I wanted to walk this week but I was too busy lol. I hope you have many wonderful experiences out in the Great Outdoors <3 one of these days, I swear I'll up and move to a place with "better" nature and "real" trails close by.

Also, SKFJSLFJSKFLSJKF your fanart made me laugh so much. I have like. Entertained this idea. Not as an actual or serious part of the story but I was like man wouldn't it just be off-the-wall if he was just vibing Out There 😭😭😭 You've caught the vibe perfectly LOL

this was all around such a special message to hear, thank you SO much!

[mokacheer]

hahaha thanks for the mass tag game @ruanbaijie this shall be fun!

aka: nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? - no idea, my theories are that i was obsessed with rosario + vampire so i took moka, and since moka is cheery/happy i just bam. i honestly don't know 💀

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. - i used to have a ton because younger me dabbled in the RP world (lets not remember those times but remember the cool people i befriended) but right now no just this blog and the other blog i help run <3 @otomokatsuhiro (if you love old anime youll immediately follow ;) )

3. how long have you been on tumblr? - since may 2012 😵 (save me)

4. do you have a queue tag? - nah

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? - an old friend of mine told me about it and actually made this blog for me. now thinking about it idk if it was her that came up with the name, if i had a different name to begin with... no clue :s

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? - its yuki!!! must i explain why?! (plus it matches my vibe here alot of mutuals say im super sweet or a ray of sunshine ((ily it makes me happy everytime i get that hehe)))

7. why did you choose your header? - it just matches the overall pink cute vibe :p

8. what’s your post with the most notes? - still to this day its a 29 frame gif of a phone ending call... here

9. how many mutuals do you have? - i counted at the beginning of the year and i believe i had 108? but now obviously its 108+ :D

10. how many followers do you have? - 17.2k+ x-x

11. how many people do you follow? - 544! i remember at one point i wanted to keep the number limited but thats so stupid!!

12. have you ever made a shitpost? - uhhhh probably when i was younger. i used to constantly post #personal text posts so idunno

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? - help me

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? - yeah a small amount of times, most would be reposters telling me "no this is my gif i made this! i wont remove this from my blog!" with my watermark clear as day in the corner lol..

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts - meh it's your blog at the end of the day, if you want to reblog something do it, if you dont dont. it's sad to see most people just like posts but they come from different platforms and fail to realize what kind of site tumblr is. hopefully eventually they will get it tho! amen

16. do you like tag games? - yes! i love that i get tagged in them but also forget alot of the time to ever get to doing them so i apologize for being late on this one hehe

17. do you like ask games? - plsssss i love seeing that notification light up in my inbox. it fills this bloggers heart with joy.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? - oh i got a few @gojosattoru (where have you been ;w; </3), @hanae-ichihara (ill always miss you <3), DEFINITELY @taohs hehehe

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? - nope, having a crush on here has never happened for me :p

20. what is the last song you listened to? - charli xcx speed drive EASYFUN remix, its sooo gud

21. what are you currently watching? - the magical girl and evil lieun. are archenemies, fairy tail 100 years quest, maybe some other misc. stuff i cant think of rn.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? - all of the above, i love sweet + spicy

23. what is your current relationship status? - single times *salute emoji*

24. what is your current obsession? - SMILING FRIENDDDSSSS asjdiaoshjdajsid

25. what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately? - aprils-bloom by julie areyouhome? by juno britpop by A.G. Cook right back by Frost children i like it by Frost children spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline Polachek magic sword by 4s4ki tome by veltpunch 365 by charli xcx

tagging: @taohs @cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga @oneechangoddess @yuujies @scary-friend @fuwanek0 and others that wanna have fun

[crazy-hazy-sims]

Im just venting because i feel like im gonna go insane if i dont let this out it might not make full sense it but i have to let it out

I understand the importance of the case presented by south africa i really do

But i've been holding back so much on just going insane and loosing my mind at how everything is happening

The fact that after all this this case aims to PROVE that palastinians are facing a genocide then maybe persuade the world to take action only if they successfully convince them its a genocide

Everytime i see palastinians who are trapped in this hell yelling with all thier might to try to be heard to be believed that they are being eradicated

And then i scroll and i see how people need cute summarized graphics of whats happening to kinda understand whats going on

People making quick witty "here's whats happning" 2 min videos

Everytime i see a palastine person mourning in english knowing that they cant even do that in our native language they have to do it in english because maybe that might get people to sympathize

Everytime literal children who saw thier entire family die have to speak in perfect english and give detailed interviews because maybe that might get people to listen

Every single time i see a conversation surrounding the genocide its never actually anything but all of us explaining things yet again and again to people who refuse to open thier eyes and take in information they have to be spoon fed it by palastinians who are suffering right now

I feel like pulling my hair out i feel like gauging my eyes out i fedl like shaking the world and yelling at the top of my lungs maybe they will wake up and realize how fucking stupid they are being

Seeing children women men kids the elderly even the pets and fucking trees being eradicated of the fucking face of the earth and still needing a case to persuade them that *something* is happening im just... Im gonna pull my hair out i cant even discribe what i feel right now this is making me feel fucking insane like JUST FUCKING LOOK AT WHATS HAPPNING LOOK USE YOUR EYES AND STOP WASTING TIME EVERY SECOND WASTED ON TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU SOMTHING IS HAPPENING HUNDREDS OF PALASTINIANS DIE :((((

This was a vent this is not me giving up its nothing we will continue fighting regardless of governments or people what i believe in is a free Palestine from the river to the sea forever. Just needed to let out some steam before i explode

[youngster-monster]

i wish i could show you the erm the Category dedicated to my uh. 22 discord wips. but unfortunately i cant send images thru anon and also then you get to see what each individual channel is named and a. none of the titles make sense and b. the titles of some of them make them sound WAY WEIRDER than they actually are because no one save for me and one other person were ever supposed to see the working titles and i dont have any ideas on how to change them so ALAS

im like a zoo animal you get to read off all my facts and i get to stare straight into your soul while not a single thought passes through my brain. i need the world to know about my bad discord wip organization

writing is actually about the full year spent turning into a pile of dust,

all worldbuilding!!!! my oc who started as a kleptomaniac prettyboy is now a god with layers upon layers of lore and i dont know what i did but now hes really way worse than he started and i take great pleasure in describing his antics to friends who werent around to see it happen in actual rp. i shudder to think what would happen if i turned that world into a ttrpg he'd be a freak (TEMPTING THOUGH)

there are and i cannot stress this enough TWENTY-TWO INDIVIDUAL CHANNELS and one of them is the OLD snippets channel - yes, i have two, no i cant explain myself - and everytime i think about sifting through it for writing ideas in moments of desperation i feel as though it will grow hands with which to strangle me with and so i dont touch them. they will rot but its better them than me

i may have to pick up those niche ships again because i imagine it feels VERY rewarding and also then you and the other three (3) people who like that ship can sing kumbayah in a circle or whatever

glad the beastly noises comment was a hit! now if youll excuse me i need to sit down at my computer and listen to monkey noises 10 hours while doing bad animal impressions and brainstorming a wip i wont ever complete ,

Weird titles are one of the joys of writing. I wish I could be one of these writers that give wacky names to their wips but unfortunately in this I am terminally boring lmao if it's not descriptive I am Never finding it again

Grabbing you like Steve Irwin showing off a baby alligator to zoo goers. And here is where the Bad Organization Practice goes :) isn't it neat 😌

Give in to the siren's call of ttrpg-ization.....

With rarepairs you either create bonds of steel with the two other miserable fuckers writing with you or a rivalry that gets imprinted into your bloodline. "He would Not fucking say that" but it's the only interpretation you get that isn't your (obviously more correct) own

(statistically I am this for at least one other kaellidan fan. Probably more. I often joke that whoever dislikes my writing is gonna be really mad about how much of me there is in that tag lmao)

[ozdwibe]

of would i tolerate your selfish

i dont wanna come down, but i do

feels like trainwreck, worse

thoughts of you, visions, hopes, dreams

cinema the fantasy!

presentism, only senses now matter

eternal sense otherwise

i can understand knowledge now

i can understand her

this is gonna hurt she said, one of those masochist seldoms, something ive accepted for its insanity

And ill let it run its course.

people are selfish,

being selfish has always been the selfless

question how

best of each's bring out best of whole

question why

why not,

does questioning evolution make sense

questioning doesnt make sense

new answers dont make sense

what is even sense, where senses quantum

all language to understand sense

all language to express sense

i was made way by old senses once,

ask i, how can something so primal be so new

shown im, selfishness renewed, its practicality

im crippled, these sensations could end me

well aware iam, inequality and its levels

optimism changes things though!

let sense be selfishness misrepresented

misrepresention be structured myth, fanfic worthy

so explain can thee, the search for significant other

why be with matched selfishness?

selfishness a virtue, new sense may i?

no matter, selfishness be different

my romantic notion, it true

for real

whats mine is yours too

a word here

this might hurt

on the off chance it might be something i yet to know

im all in adventure

be it my end or whatever

i want this, i dont why.

ill listen to knowledge,

know its a trainwreck of a rush

nothing at all,

so be pure intimidation not accustomed to,

reject fear

for know, experience is better without filter

this time the end dont abrupt

no end here

beginning naught

middle?, metaphorical

quantum sense no forget

everything everywhere all at once

i haven't bridged the metaphysical

im scared and im slow

im patient, im savouring it

for now.

'NOW' a vast place to be

a damp that damps for somelong

a void be left, nothing there

come news, i cant get words out

very teenage, very very

no matter promise of whatever grander

can't beat be seen simple, be hold held, grip rip

sense, nevertouching close

know,

true mine romantic notion,

i would tolerate your selfish

all time, everytime

for what me' has, is and will always be you

[forlyndonb]

everytime i try to talk to you about an issue or something, you would leave. i said we can talk anytime when you're comfortable but you chose to avoid it, ignore it or even change the topic. it is hard for me to brought up my thoughts or even ask you as i always feel that i have no place to question you.

you listened to all my worries and i try to explain to you that i am here for you but still you choose to carry all your burden and sometimes show annoyance whenever i question you something. you say all the bad words and curses whenever i am curious and try to point out my reasons.

you also lie a lot and it is hard to break that habit. i try to change you, to teach you and tell you that i hate being lied to. i keep telling you to be you cos i hate pretentious people, those people who wear mask. who fake identity to gain something, faking oneself and faking lifestyle. i know so much about you and i've seen so much that i am disappointed that you make up lies just to look good so people will like you. you treat them well, you gave them things to please people. that boost you and gave you the attention you've been craving. i was hurt with all the lies i heard because i feel like the intentions you show me wasn't true which made me doubt you a lot of times! but i listened to you, i gave you the second chance you deserve because i feel that you are sincere and genuine now. however, i still catch you lying from time to time and i try to correct you without making you feel less.

i always try to low my pride and convince myself not to clash with you whenever an arguement is coming. i hate myself sometimes because i cant keep myself shut and i always ask you or ruin your day by questioning you because i want answers rightaway. i tend to overthink a lot.

im afraid to lose you but i am also afraid that this will destroy me especially if we will be together everyday. i am afraid to discover more lies, more cheating, more hurtful stuff that is waiting to be discovered and ruin me just like how you curse at me, yell at me and disrespect me. i loathe my parents for doing the same thing to me and there you are also doing it fo me, everything feels familiar, you're just like them, you make me feel that i am a nuisance, a black sheep, a trash, a disrespectful person and a person who has nothing in life and wont achieve anything.

[catxolotlz]

ive accepted everything thats happened, not completely but at least to some extent and more than before. i get it that i wont always be compatible with some people no mattwr how long and how close ive been with them. im mentally ill and not everyone will and has to understad that. i cant form long term relationships, i have a hard time with human interaction and socializing, i can be a genuinely horrible person.

i can never forgive myself for what ive done i get it its my fault. sometimes i feel like im an abuser. i never intended i never wanted for this to happen. i didnt manipulate or trick anyone for enjoyment or atleast didnt mean to and never realized, i dont know what ive done, i cant judge from my perspective. i regret it all of course and i wish it never had happened and i wish it will never happen again.

i was just hurting. i was hurting so much and sometimes, i still am. i cant understand myself but i tried to control myself. i didnt fully give in, i still had it in me to be better, to change for others so others wont get hurt anymore, i wanted to be better to get better. i didnt wanna be this mess of a human. i didnt want to be a bad person.

it just never sounded right for me however. i cant exactly change something thats out of my control. i cant really get better all by myself when my whole life ive been depending on others for my happiness and worth. its almost impossible to 'change' when you have a disorder. i only masked myself for others. i only repressed all my negative emotions and bottled them up to myself in fear of hurting my loved ones again. fearing what could happen next might be the last.

i was really dumb. i never realized how bad for myself i was doing, and eventually for everyone. my emotions spilled,i was hurtng so much it sometimes became phyisical pains. id feel jolts in my chest and my head was pounding every night from so much tears i cried. i couldnt bottle up anymore and eventually every negative emotion burst out, i hurt everyone i loved, i hurt the person i loved, ive never felt so ashamed of myself. it didnt feel like myself, thatwas the scary part. everything was so drowned out, all i could think of and all i cared about was hoping the person would understand me. that was all i ever wanted.

i know what couldve been done to prevent all this, but its too late now. everytime i would vent and explain myself it always comes out a mess, and everyone avoids me. theyre all scared of me snapping or getting mad. which icant blame them because it has happened before. but i never intended to be mad at them personally. my emotions are just raging all the time, especially in a bad mental state. but during the calmer days, i shouldve took those time to explain myself, my struggles, say everything i wanted, anything for them to understand. but honestly tho i dont exactly remember if ive done that before but didnt work so i just stopped. memory loss is a bitch i guess.

but still, i feel like i couldve just. tried again. and again. and again. i dont know rlly know if it would get me anywhere and i will never know. im starting to space out and forgetting what im supposed to be saying right now. sorry.

going back to my point, i understand now. im not meant for everyone. as much as it hurts, i have to accept this painful truth, that im disabled, and it prevents me from achieving things i want. and i think thats okay. im finally accepting it now. not all, but still. its something.

now i just wish all of me can accept it too. i wish the others can swallow the pill too. i really do feel bad, that theyre still hurting, that theyre still stuck in the past, thinking this was just another one of those days and can be easily fixed. i have to stop myself sometimes from messaging people again. i have to tell them that its done. its finally happened. our biggest fear has happened. theres nothing much to be afraid of anymore. (apart from the stuff like death, of course.) you can listen to music, you can backread messages, you can browse your files of screenshots and pictures. but you cant live that life anymore. and thats okay. they may forget about you, they may think youre a bad person, thats okay. at the end of the day, theyre moving on with their lives, they have their own people, youre going to have to move on with your life too. you can change. you can stay the same. you can just be yourself. whatever you want. its all gonna be okay. no one can tell you who you are or who you are supposed to be.

im happy to still have a few friends, even if we dont get to talk much, or i never talk about my problems to them anymore, its enough that theyre comfortable with me.

im very glad for my best friend online. my friend for the longest time, even before anyone else, that stayed with me. im glad i stayed with him too. we've changed so much, we've moved on from a hundred fandoms. it's such a pleasure to experience you.

and words cannot describe how much i love and appreciate my best friend. i genuinely cant put it to words. thank you so much for being there for me. for still being with me even after the friend group had dissolved. i want to talk to you about my cringe problems and i want you to scream yours too. id love to listen to more music with you. watch more shows with you. maybe even talk to more people with you. i want to grow up with you, i want to experience life with you by my side.

i think thats all i have to say for now. this kinda got a little carried away frm my original idea lol. cya

[enluv]

cocooooo !!! :)) i was introduced to riize when they first made their ig and it appeared on my feed,, my friend told me about them and i decided to give it a try and stan them and I DO NOT REGRET IT loll the bias life in riize is def hard 😭🫂 when i first saw the members,, SEUNGHAN had caught my eye, i remember seeing him after watching him perform and was like “who’s this fine looking man that can sing,, dance, and is just an all rounder in general” i stayed like that for a good month until i saw EUNSEOK that man istg I LOVE HIMMM our unbothered king (black hair looks so good on him like hello? 😵‍💫) and then again it stayed like that for a month until I SAW WONBIN AHHHH he makes me wanna scream ,, he’s so talented and is such a good center for riize , he’s literally the full package he serves looks, talent, personality and cuteness what can he not do and ofc everything was going fine until i was on TikTok and i saw this one edit of sungchan and he was in the fit he wore for their talk saxy comeback live,, HIM THERE >>> i be getting nostalgic sometimes seeing him with nct as someone who was an nctzen 😭 BUT LIKE SUNGCHAN i literally love listening to him rap sm IMA NEED SM TO pull up and give ma boy more next comeback so right now that’s how my bias situation is lmaoo (its sungchan rn but idk what the future will hold 😝) and that’s not to say I don’t love the three other members that were mentioned and the other three that weren’t mentioned,, I LITERALLY LOVE THEM ALL just cant pick a bias 😭😔

(IM SO SORRY THIS WAS LONG,, I JUST BE HAVING A LITTLE FUN SOMETIMES WITH RIIZE 😭😭🧡)

MY BAD DASH I DID NOT KNOW I WROTE SO MUCH LEMME ADD A READ MORE 😭😭😭

they definitely hit the instagram algorithm jackpot because tell me why I had friends who weren’t into kpop asking me who wonbin and seunghan were 😭 but so real! I don’t regret it either hehe I just adore them seriously!! but don’t worry picking a bias is so hard like I don’t see how you can atp 😭 they’re all amazing and deserve the world (sm needs to burn and I’ll do if I have to!) SEUNGHAN IS SO GORGEOUS HE FR FR CAUGHT MY EYE TOO LIKE SIR YOU ARE ACTUALLY VERY GORGEOUS AND BEAUTIFUL AND CAN SING AND DANCE???!!! completely get it and im TOTALLY normal about him……🧍🏻‍♂️I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT BECAUSE EUNSEOK WITH BLACK HAIR IS MY FAVORITE EUNSEOK AND HE NEEDS TO KEEP IT BLACK ALWAYS BECAUSE OMFG I need to bite him. I can’t explain it but I seriously need to. The way I felt every emotion you went through too 😭😭 wonbin has me in a chokehold at the moment because he’s just so my boy yk like and he is a star boy and I am such a star enthusiast and I actually did not know he had a thing for stars for a while so when he caught my eye I was super surprised and then I learned about his star interest and (this may sound insane) but I felt like the moon and stars were fr leading me to him like 😭😭 ik that sounds crazy but I seriously did feel like he was meant to be my bias or like just an idol I enjoy yk? Sungchan and I need to fight because one why are you so tall and two why are you so tall and talented and a literal 10/10 like leave something or anything for the rest of us PLEASE! I COMPLETELY GET THE NOSTALGIA PART WITH SUNGTARO IT KILLS ME ESPECIALLY IDK IF YOU SAW BUT IN THEIR LITTLE BEHIND VLOGS WHEN HE IS LIKE “I used to come here alone and always wished to come with a group, and now I can do that so I’m happy” I actually cried so bad because him and shotaro deserve it like I am so freaking happy to see them here in a fixed group with people who love them and deserve it just as much 🥹 atm ig as an update I am just going to consider myself OT7 because I can’t pick a bias to save my life 😭 wonbin and anton have a chokehold on me but I’d fold for eunseok and sungtaro will always be my babies no matter what and sohee + seunghan get me everytime so I just can’t pick atm 😞 but maybe in the future one will slip through the cracks and be my bias 😭 but seriously ITS HARD TO PICK ONE 😭 I need to burn sm down though especially with the way they’ve been treating seunghan lately like that recent riize and realize episode? oh that pissed me off BAD! sm needs to burn ! ALSO DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT RIIZE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I DONT KNOW MANY PEOPLE WHO STAN THEM HERE ON TUMBLES SO I LOVE HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THEM 🥺🤍

[yoontual]

taeyeon singing when we were young oh my god

[yanderemommabean]

Imagine darling being best buddies with Saitama, just chill besties that crack jokes with each other, play games and just hang out. You come over a lot so when Genos moves into Sai's place you of course get to meet the cyborg and get to know him. You kinda see him as Saitamas little brother and its kind of adorable in a way. Maybe its because hes just a bit younger than you and Sai, but you sometimes cant help but act like an older sibling figure from time to time. However this secretly does not bide well with Genos.

Of course Genos already knew about you prior to him moving in with Saitama due to his extensive research of his new master, but for some reason a weird feeling in his gut kept coming up when he looked at you interacting with his sensei. He eventually talks to the professor, thinking its some sort of internal malfunction, but after describing said feelings he is told that the feeling he must be expiriencing is romantic attraction. This feeling increases as he starts to actually spend time with you. Now that he has somewhat figured out that he has more than a little crush on you, he now has to figure out how to get your attention and confess his feelings. The only problem with that, is in the way you view him. You act so laidback and mature, not a care in the world, but also mature and friendly, never forgetting to offer to help around the house, or talk to him after a long day. The more time he spends with you, the more he craves to know more, see more, touch more, so much so that hes about to burst with excitement everytime you lean your head on his shoulder while watching TV, or brush against him in the kitchen when youre both preparing dinner. But you just view him as some kind of overly serious little brother. Maybe he'll just have to show you just how serious he is.

(I ended up typing more than I intended to! Sorry for getting a little outta hand 😅)

Genos hated that he couldn't articulate his feelings for you. You were so much more than another friend to him and his master. You took time to get to know more of him, more of their lives, and invested in their lives as much as they have for you.

You were bonded more than some roommates who just happened to be heroes. You did more than just keep company and make them laugh, and damn it, you felt like more than a friend to Genos!

But you just couldn't see it. After talking it over with his sensei and even Saitama, he knows he has to explain his emotions for you, his deep feelings that make him confused and angry but also alive and thrilled.

He's done trying to be nice and subtle about it. Perhaps you need a more hands on approach about what he means, where he can show you all he can do for you and more, if you'd just accept his love and his devotion!

Here he stares at you, late in the night, watching your chest rise and fall. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen intake all look normal, and you have no fever. He wonders if he could at least cover you up more, like he's seen lovers do before when wanting to be gentle and kind, making sure their lovers are comfortable and getting optimal sleep.

His fingers are moving before he thinks, and he stops himself. No, you're fine, you must be a bit too hot to want a blanket. If that's the case, perhaps he should help remove some layers? No, he mustn't engage in such thoughts, he might act without thinking and scare you away.

But you couldn't possibly run away if he held you, right? If he just wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly, he could explain everything while letting his cold fingers explore your body. You might squirm, might even try to scream for help, but he has ways to get you to listen and understand his feelings.

He watches as you adjust in your sleep, curling in on yourself a bit as your sleep becomes fitful. A nightmare possibly? He's sure there's many ways to fix that, humans have all sorts of dreams after all, and outside forces usually determine what happens.

Genos mind wanders right to using his mouth on you. His head under the covers while you writhe and moan, having an amazing dream while he gorges himself.

NO. No he has to calm himself, he's acting so strange, he doesn't want to hurt you or force you, he simply wants to make you understand!

He needs to leave before he does something he can't stop himself from doing.

-Mommabean (Hi I adore this man/android/cyborg and would let him break me in half <3 )

[omi-papus]

I realized that Robin inngame becomes infinitly more tolerable and fun if you just think of her as kind of a dumbass. Like ok listen I dont know what the fuck is up with her voice lines. Like hers specifically. Everyone elses dialogue is pretty alright and even great. But something about Robin just does not click. Shes presented as this badass, marvel esque strong female character tm. Not to an unberable degree. Shes fine. But I feel like when I first played I only tolerated Robin when Al-An was stuck to her, because she would bring interesting things out of him. And it felt off sometimes. The worst bit Id say is, "How do humans cope with the loss of memories? Like forgeting someones birthday?" Like girl, this is clearly some existencial shit this man is on, get a grip.

Now, everytime I play and she says some shit like that, I go, "Sure sweetie. You go do that" And thats what got me to like her. Like to just think shes as a person is just out of touch as fuck actually makes sense with everything a lot more. Like yhea shed yeet herself into an alien planet with no way out just to comfirm a suspicion because she dosent like a company and cant accept the idea someone she loves isnt a perfect angel. All her brain holds is plant facts, you think she can make good choices? Yhea shed really just recite poetry to an alien expecting him to understand, without even knowing the damn thing in full. Girl is 90% pure unfiltered emotion and cant explain abstract concepts worth shit. Homegirl will really meet an alien thats like, "I wont explain who I am or my intentions but get me out of her real quick" and INSTANTLY be like "Bet, get your ass in this iPad". (Granted she didnt want to go as far as she did with the whole brain situation and she was rushed but still, not even panic.) Shed be the friend that everyone goes to when thyre in truble, because shell agree to murder without asking question if she digs your vibe. OF COURSE Robin will genuenly unpromted go "Hey that new body of yours in kind of making me feel something, Imma just give you the rest of my life and follow you into the void of space, leaving everything else behind k?" Bitch has never had a plan in her life, you think shes going to start now? She sees some alien ass and all else is irrelevant.

It also works with the gameplay, cause like idk about you but in Below Zero it felt like everything was yelling, "Hey, you have 30 seconds of oxigen. How about you go into that cave at the bottom of the ocean floor I bet theres cool shit in there." And sure enough I did.

And like, you have any idea how little self preservation biologists can have? Robin is the girl that will lick the frog to test if its poisonous, shes the one that does the pain tests for insect bites. She can and will manhandle a hipo because she wants to see the inside of its mouth.

This is so not what the game intended but I love waterlogged brain Robin and I will deny canon til the end of days.