#she sang that song with so much emotion you can literally feel the sadness in her voice it made me cry in like 15 seconds lmao

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Mean Girls 2024 reviewed by this random girl with weird thoughts

(Although I think my thoughts for this aren’t that weird).

Spoilers!

THE GAY ENERGY. THE QUEER GIRLS ENERGY. How many girls are smitten with Regina?? Cady had heart eyes the first time she saw her, GRETCHEN is… oh my gosh. Plus all the random girls in school.

I feel like lots won’t bring this up cause sadly Rise of the pink ladies were not that well marketed (PLEASE WATCH IT AND WATCH IT NOW!!), but when I saw ARI NORTATOMASO in the classroom I was like CYNTHIA’S DESCENDANT ??!! >:0

CANON LESBIAN JANIS!!!!! Finally!! But I am not sure how I feel about just giving her this random girl as her date to the spring fling.

I kinda wish to get more scenes with Cady and Janis. Idk personally ever since I read this chatfic from 2018 where they got together over this conversation I’ve kinda had a thing for them

(I’m not joking when I say this fic has been a huge inspo for me to start writing fics of my own. Like. Thank you person who wrote it. You’ve orphaned your account now but this fic will always be in my memory)

I’m not saying I needed them to be gfs in the movie just that I wanted some more moments :>

So the movie lacks a lot of the iconic moments from the 2004 film, but it’s supposed to be an adaptation of the musical anyway. Also if they just said every iconic line again it would just feel like an exact copy of the movie and that wasn’t the point.

Cady’s songs lack a bit for me. In the musical, she sang so loudly and expressed so much, but she sings so… quietly… here. I guess it’s a sort of choice for her character, and maybe this worked better for the movie format - musicals become different on stage and in movies, you can’t always be as theatrical on film as you can on stage. But, I just didn’t feel her emotions at all in the same way.

REGINA AND JANIS’ SONGS, THO? YEA. THEY SLAYED. I do feel sad they cut Gretchen and Karen’s parts out of Meet the plastics. Also that they cut Damian’s songs… Stop is literally such an important song because it gives advice not only to Cady but also to everyone watching?? I remember hearing it in 2018 and I personally felt like it could help me to not send too many texts to people, because when people didn’t answer I got nervous and sent even more. But then… some songs maybe don’t work as well in movie format, I don’t know.

Also because Janis is canonically gay now, I’d rather be me is officially a queer anthem!!!!! 😁😁

Not sure how I feel about changing ”Janis is a space dyke” to ”Janis is a pyro-les”. It doesn’t sound as good in the song lol. But, in the musical, Janis’ sexuality was more ”up to interpretation” and so got called that because when asked if she was a lesbian, she replied ”I AM A SPACE ALIEN AND I HAVE FOUR BUTTS”. An incredibly funny line and really had the early 2010s random humor going for it. But, when wanting to make her explicitly gay, they needed something better, and I understand that.

Now, many people see Regina as a closeted lesbian herself. I get it, since she has no chemistry with any boy and it seems like she just dates them for publicity. No boys except for Damian have personalities (did Shane even have a line?? He was just. There.) But, I am a bit insecure. Because at times it seems like she was one of those homophobic girls in middle school. I’m just gonna go from this movie alone, as I feel like in the Broadway show and in the 2004 movie that’s other kinds of discussion (the 2004 movie especially feels more like she actually was homophobic tbh). In the 2024 movie, Janis came out to Regina, and Regina put a rainbow pin on her stuffed animal as an ”ally”. Also Regina and Janis kissed. Regina did it to see how her boyfriend reacted, and it was at the expense of Janis. Regina then had her stuffed animal with a pride pin talk in a mocking voice and it was clear this was to make fun of Janis. Janis then got so mad over this that she set Regina’s backpack on fire (ok Ámbar Smith whatever works for you). From this story, I am a bit unsure if this came from a place of Regina maybe wanting to tease her boyfriend and then it got out of hand, or maybe she was curious about kissing Janis but she was like 12 and repressed those feelings. Because she supposedly wore a Pride pin as an ”ally”, that’s much more than what a homophobic would do - but, her bullying of Janis definitely contributed to homophobia. Regina is a mean girl, so we should not excuse her actions even though she is slaying. Closeted lesbian or not, she did some homopbic and harmful things.

Regina in this movie sometimes felt like she was just doing a bunch of things without care. In some ways, I think Regina is just living on some sort of cloud and there was all this anger inside of her and she didn’t know what, and it’s possible she just does not know how to handle all the popularity because she’s like 16. So she hides behind a lot of layers and just does stuff for the thrill of it, maybe trying to get some sort of enjoyment in life, but nothing is enough. And eventually she snaps and watches the world burn. Maybe this is why all the songs she has in the movie, including the ones that originally had more singers, only had her singing now. Showing that, even when she is around people, she is alone… (yes, the other girls sing in world burn but they don’t sing to her in the same way) and she has not found her real place in the world and she acts like she knows it all but she doesn’t really. And everyone keeps telling her how great her life is. If her life is so great, why does she feel so unsatisfied?

They didn’t ruin Revenge Party which I appreciate. I also loved that they added the deleted lines from the musical. I wish that Cady has more power in her voice when she shouted ”ONE CANDY CANE PLEASE” but oh well.

The way they all reported on the incidents at North Shore high like it was national news… like, my schools has meme accounts and stuff, but never that we reported on the stuff like it was celebrity gossip lmao. Then again I don’t even live in America so idk what’s going on over there.

I do like how Janis and Damian are the narrators. It’s possible a lot of things that happened was their overexaggerated retellings of what actually happened. Maybe this is just them telling freshmen about tales everyone tells them as they start high school.

School buses keep being the top 10 scariest jumpscares. Laughed out loud tho that instead of focusing on Cady and Regina’s argument, they just argued in the backround and then Janis finished up her song as Regina just gets hit by the bus in the background

I’ll probably have more to say in the future.

[jisungshotfirst]

the cutie @taeyeonsb asked for my fav taeyeon songs so here

10. Worry Free Love

... the boppiest bop to ever bop? this is a objective fact. It's just so FUN omg. and so happy like.. literally yeah, worry free love. the track is so energetic and danceable and her voice.... the verses are so sassy and the choruses are so ecstatic.... THE TRUMPETS. incredible. they are in the background when they're introduced and ur like omg?? what a fun melody i want more? and then theyre like... bet. here's a whole outro of it<3 whenever i play this song in the car I genuinely be dancing the entire time not even joking

9. Feel So Fine

just... vocals<3 the song is just So uplifting...THE PRECHORUS. when the drums drop out the bass drops out and its just VOICE and emotion and it's just such a beautiful build up. her voice is so powerful and she can project just so well and I think that she just excels at expressing these kinds of messages: self-love but in a simple, personal way. the love isn't grandiose, it's 'fine', but her voice is able to make that small contentedness feel so big.... AH. also woobin covered this song :( and sang it so beautifully :( so now i get to think of taeyeon AND ruby when i listen to this song so that is a win for me

8. No Love Again

a beautiful understated bop. because it combines both the pumping energy of a dance track and the airy vocals and softness of the production... it feels so mature and honest. to me this song is for a solo lil dance party with just yourself... there are certain songs that I'm so glad went to certain people and this is one of them... taeyeon deserves this song so much..

7. Something New

VOCAL HARMONY LAYERING.... SM's pride and joy of having a wall of vocal harmonies at its finest<3 but entirely stripped back... it's the opening of the boys by snsd goodness but SEXIER..... hello what more could you want. this song is so sexy and groovy i feel like a cooler person just by listening to it. it's sooo simple its able to carry the entire idea with just bass with little embellishments of piano and simple drums.... and vocals....... i am an absolute sucker for nananas.. and they can come in many many forms but.. as a wall of bv harmony as the chorus hook...... everything i could ever want. this song is SO HOT

6. Blue

have u ever heard a song more beautiful?? piano and vocal set it up so perfectly and it sounds so pretty and sad... and then the kick comes in... and harmony....and it's building..... the way this song BUILDS. 4 on the floor kinda beat in a soft ballad send me to another planet because to me what could be an ethereal drum-less song is given this low pumping feeling that just grounds the emotions entirely. And it can utilise that by taking the beat back out... and playing with that sense of being grounded.... and they just take it out! what was a comfortable chorus with a steadiness is now taken away and it feels like a thought flying away from you...

5. You Better Not

this song makes me SO happy. it's so filled with joy... to me this song is like.. trying SO hard to not smile and gradually you just let up.... or trying so hard and being SO determined to not let someone take up all your thoughts.... and gradually they're in your head more and more and suddenly they're everywhere. WHICH .. you can LITERALLY HEAR. the acoustic guitar sits way way in the back of the mix in the first chorus.... and then it's slightly more forward in the next chorus.... and then THEN the next chorus starts with JUST acoustic guitar... and then everything is back in with the guitar right at the front of the mix..... its the most beautiful example of text-painting literally ever it makes me cry with joy.

4. Gravity

a 6/8 taeyeon power ballad :( literally what do i have to say. this song was my first taeyeon love and she means the absolute world to me... i don't even have much to say because it's just perfect from start to finish. the dragging of the rhythms... theres literally nothing to worry and rush about, taeyeon just takes her time. the build in the bridge... the high note....... the adlibs in the last chorus..............[cries]

3. INVU

literally the most stunning piece of production that's ever blessed my ears. it's so subtle and careful while taeyeon cries her heart out..... an even more understated bop. it's So So careful.... the arpeggiator into the last chorus literally sends me to another plane i am floating i have ascended. this is literally music to levitate to... it's gorgeous it's stunning it's perfect.

2. Curtain Call

i've said before that this song sounds like love and it's true :( this sound is so nostalgic, the instrumentation and the harmony and just everything feels like you've known it for years and years... the chorus is sosoososo uplifting and joyful. the harmoniessssss :((( and the OUTRO. she just lets it keep going..... lets us sink into the feeling. it's so perfect :(( it's anthemic and universal in all the right ways.... but it's mine<3 i've gatekeeped her<3

Wildfire

this song just works So well together... every part of it slots together so well. the sample that repeats almost the entire time.... perfect. it creates such a sense of simplicity and unity for the song. like every bit of it is feeling the same thing. the rhythms fit around it so perfectly too and it just loops so perfectly. this song doesn't even have a bridge! she is just what she is. it's the kind of genuine simplicity that's had to achieve. i've also misheard one of the lyrics as 'you can never do it again' since i first hear it which is absolutely just incorrect but i love it... because you can never do it again, you just gotta say what you wanna say no matter how simple. if you listen to this song it just saves you from all the bad thoughts ever... only hopeful happy thoughts<3 tho you're not allowed listen to it coz it's mine

if you got to the end MWAHHHHH. go listen to taeyeon and improve your life<3

[yoontual]

taeyeon singing when we were young oh my god

[louiseintrees]

Lovers Rock

.:°.:.:::..::°•:.:….:.

The pack of cigarettes he had put down months ago stared him in the eyes. Boring holes into his skull, begging him to get back to his old habit. And at this point he might as well. Everything was fucked, why not fuck it a bit more. Break that idiotic sobriety because it’s not like it would matter to him anymore. The most important thing to him is gone because of a stupid thing. Something so entirely stupid. Because of an asshole who played with the love of his life’s heart. So, in his moment of sorrow and woe, he grabbed it. And the small lighter he had got from her on his birthday. No matter how much she hated the fact he was smoking it was a promise for that when it stopped working he wouldn’t need it anymore.

He went to the balcony. Sitting on the sad chair. The ugly brutalism looking concrete floor, ceiling, and walls, and the metal bars, haunted him. It didn’t feel like a nice place to rest after a long day. No lights she hung up, or plants she treated better than herself, nothing like that, not even a nice smelling candle. No life was left. No life was left without her here. Not even the breathing sad excuse of a man that sat in the plastic chair had life to him. He was nothing as he pulled the small rolled stick and sat it in between his fingers and lit it. Taking a deep breath in and out.

He told himself it was taking the edge off of things but he knew it wasn’t doing anything anymore. Smoking didn’t have that effect anymore. It just made him guilty. He felt as though the girl who used to sit in the empty chair opposite to him was still there biting the inside of her cheek as her nose was in a book begging him silently to put it out. He hated everything now. He wanted to blame her for everything and move on but he would never do that, I don’t even know if it would be possible for him to do that.

“But if you're too drunk to drive, and the music is right, she might let you stay, but just for the night.” He sang to himself as his voice cracked ever so slightly and his eyes became glassy and full of water.

It was her favourite song because it was quiet and peaceful. It was sweet and short, and she loved it. It was all she played for a week at one point she was so into it, only slight exaggeration. Only now it made sense. It was about her. Not literally but if the singer knew her it was about her. Wether she subconsciously knew she was listening to words that fit her perfectly or not, he didn’t know. But after all that he went through the words were an exact description of her. Down to the very last couple of lines.

“Because love can burn like a cigarette, and leave you alone with nothing, and leave you alone with nothing.” He let out letting the tears flow and to let his emotions out.

He put out the cigarette leaving its corpse in the ash tray, and huddled himself up, crossing his arms in front of his body, laying them on his legs as he hunched over crying. Letting more of the tears that had plague him flow.

He missed her. That much was certain. And he had come to realize he couldn’t live without her. And much later he would come to realize,

She also couldn’t live without him.

[itsjustagoober]

Why are you feeling antsy?

As silly as this is going to sound, I had a wonderful dream.

And I don't just mean good or great, I literally mean wonderful. The parts that made it wonderful are all I can remember, but it's that part that made me antsy today.

I had the end of my dream where I met a new friend while out on a jog. She was very forward and leading me along to place to go visit. Places in nature and the local park and stuff like that.

Despite it being a dream, as well as I'm a very lucid dreamer, she actually stayed the same throughout the whole dream when she was there. Even lucid, sometimes people's faces or bodies change when I'm not focused, but she didn't once.

We ran around together and sang songs together and explored nature together. Everything felt big and small at the same time. She even pulled me into more of the crowd to dance and sing, despite my protests. She even proclaimed to other people, who would not know we just met, that she was my girlfriend. That caught me very off-guard, honestly.

We ran around and sang different songs and danced until what felt like sundown, when we had met in the afternoon, where we sat in a bench and talked about our lives for a bit. I don't quite remember what we talked about, already, but she said she would be around and if I ever needed to have another date like this that I should get better sleep.

A peck to the cheek and I woke right up, tears in my eyes as I realized that it was either an extremely self-reflecting kind of dream or one of desperation for someone, just anyone, to listen to me.

I often feel like when I speak my mind or emotions that I'm burdening others. Like I don't want to bother friends or bring the mood down, but I also can't keep bottling it up anymore. I'm well past the point of allowing other people, family included, to walk all over me or dismiss my feelings or so. It took a lot of unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms to even get as far as I am today and I'm still going!

I really needed that, but I also am sad and antsy because I don't actually have anyone like that in my life. It reminded how bleak things used to be, but also how far I've come in the last few years. I'll probably be okay later today, I just need help taking my mind off of it. Not bottling it up, ya know?

I didn't even tell her my name, nor did she tell me her name, but I felt a level of closeness and the like that she's been there the whole time. I hope I can see her again soon, but I also hope I can get someone like her in my life.

And this is your local goober's feelings, this early in the day. Finally got restful sleep for the first time in weeks and my brain helped show me how much better I'm doing than I used to be, I think.

[ptergwen]

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

-

“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 3)

(part 1) (part 2) 

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 3k

chapter warnings: mention of past sexual harassment, very mature karaoke (lol), mention of pornography

Day 63 and you still hadn’t talked about it.  He’d actually gotten to know you a lot better over the past two months, even almost confessing his feelings for you with that stupid half-asleep storybook thing he’d done way back when, but you still hadn’t talked about the night you saw him looking in the rearview mirror.

Tonight actually reminded him of that night; this time was a premiere, for a movie you hadn’t actually been in but apparently you were supposed to go anyways?  He didn’t get it but he figured he didn’t need to.  As long as you came back alone this time, he’d be happy.

Of course, when he saw you step out to the car to leave for the venue, he was confident that would be impossible— not that you ever looked bad on a red carpet or anything, but wow… this was different.

“It’s not too slutty, is it?” you asked him nervously, spinning around to show him the back.  Don’t look at her ass don’t look at her ass don’t look at her ass—   

“Just slutty enough,” he responded with a gloved thumbs up.

“Perfect,” you smiled, and he opened the door for you to get in the back.  He took a moment to catch his breath before circling around to the driver’s side.

You actually chatted with him on the way, which was a new thing you two had started doing when he drove you.  He looked forward to your talks a lot— especially the ones where you ranted about whatever was on your mind.  You would usually apologize for rambling but he liked it; and, you were cute when you got really worked up about something, even if he thought it was kind of trivial.

As he pulled up to the red carpet, with cameras flashing and the indistinguishable yelling of reporters and fans, you shot him a look as if you didn’t want to go.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah,” you shook your head incredulously, “I just… I wish you would’ve come and seen it.”

He recalled a few weeks back when you offered him a ticket to the premiere showing, but he’d insisted on just sticking to what he knew and letting your assistant have the spare ticket.  “I’ll catch it on Netflix,” he dismissed.

“No, I mean, I wish you were coming with me,” you explained.

Was it hot in here, all of a sudden?  Because his cheeks felt warm.  “Uh, you don’t want me in there.  I always fall asleep in theaters anyways.  Just go have fun and I’ll catch you after.”

“Okay,” you nodded with an adorable little smile.

So he waited, wondering if he should’ve taken you up on it all those weeks ago, but decided he probably made the right call.  He would just embarrass you in a place like that, more than likely, and you had enough to deal with already.  He felt more useful waiting in the wings than being in the spotlight, to use a fittingly-timed theater metaphor.

It was a few hours of him killing time in the car, but he got to relax a little more since the event already had pretty good security on its own.  You’d recommended a book called Flowers for Algernon to him, even lending him your copy for the time being, and so he leaned his seat back and picked up where he’d left off from this morning.  Of course, if he had known that you’d be gone long enough for him to finish, and that the ending was going to make him cry, he probably wouldn’t have read it.  WIth his luck, it was inevitable that he’d be all but sobbing when you texted him to pull the car around.

Wiping his tears and hoping his eyes wouldn’t be too red, he tossed the book into the glovebox and started the engine.  You waved cheerily when you saw him from the entrance, and he attempted to navigate through all the other cars pulling up so he could reach you.  Thankfully, you didn’t have a new friend with you this time— or an old friend.  Jealousy crisis averted, for now.

“How was it?” he asked with a smile as you opened the door and slipped in, unable to hide how happy he was to see you.

“The premiere itself was a lot of fun, I got to see some people I hadn’t seen in ages; the movie, though?  Sort of pretentious,” you admitted as you shut the door and he got the car moving again.  “And way too long!  I could watch movies all day, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch a movie all day!”

“Fair enough,” he laughed.

“What did you do?” you asked innocently.

“I finished your book,” he frowned, trying not to think about it so he wouldn’t get emotional again.  

“Ah, I can tell you’re still a little hurt about it,” you smiled mischievously.  “Should’ve warned you about the ending.”

“No, no,” he disagreed, “it’s not a bad ending just because it’s a sad one… it was a good book.”

You’d already been smiling, but your smile undeniably changed as he watched it in the rearview mirror.  Something softer, something more sensitive.  He liked this one better.  “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Just in time to interrupt the moment, you saw something on the passing street outside that caught your attention.

“Ooh, karaoke!” you piped up, pressing your face against the inside of the window excitedly.  “Pull over!”

He chuckled at how easily distracted you were, but did as you’d asked.  He barely found time to slow down to a stop before you were opening the door and running out, flashing your ID to get inside.

He groaned as he realized how completely unsafe it was for you to be in a bar… especially now, when you were at your most recognizable and literally still wearing what you’d had on at the premiere.  Thankfully, he managed to pull the car around and park in the closest spot he could find, jogging to join you inside the bar and hoping you hadn’t already made too much of a scene.  His hopes were dashed the moment he pushed through the door, however.

“Is she perverted like me?  Would she go down on you in a theater?” you sang along with the grungy backing track of Alanis Morrisette’s You Oughta Know; your lips were curled into a faux snarl as you stood on stage with your heels in one hand and the microphone in the other.

Bucky’s head fell into his hands, looking around to see hundreds of bar patrons, nearly all of them with their phones out filming you.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Bucky mumbled to himself, hoping you would somehow hear it and take his advice.  Instead, you pantomimed sucking a dick with a cute little wink and everyone cheered.  “Jesus fucking Christ.”

“And I’m here, to remind you,” you continued, jumping around wildly; you looked like you were having the time of your life, honestly.  If he wasn’t so worried about you, he would’ve let himself smile seeing you so happy.

During the bridge, you stole someone’s water off their table and poured a bit on your head, slicking your hair back and shivering from the cold.  There was something about the water dripping down your face, starting to soak your clothes and make your skin glisten...

Bucky glanced around to make sure no one was looking at him before subtly adjusting his jeans.

He watched you sing the entire song, making most of the notes and definitely capturing the anger of the original song— if clearly having a lot more fun with it than most would.  The entire bar cheered when you finished, and you took a moment to take some pictures with people and meet a few fans, which he thought was sweet even if his bodyguard instincts forced him to interrupt after a moment.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he guided you away gently.

“Goodnight!” you waved goodbye to someone who was already buried in her phone and posting the photo you’d taken with her.

“Have a good time?” he asked sarcastically as the two of you began to walk out together.

“Would’ve been better if you hadn’t been glaring at me the whole time,” you smirked.

“I wasn’t glaring, I was just… watching.  You have a good voice, you know.”

You seemed surprised by the compliment.  “Oh.  Thanks.”

“And your stage presence is certainly… energetic,” he grinned.  “I bet your little charade is already trending.”

“I checked, and it is,” you giggled, showing him your phone for a moment where Twitter was open and you were the #7 topic in the United States and climbing.  “And the part where I poured that water on myself is pretty gif-able, don’t you think?”

He raised a brow as he held the back door of the bar open as you slipped back on your heels and walked past him.  “Is that why you did it?  For the reaction?”

“I did it cause it was fun,” you corrected.  “You wouldn’t know anything about that.  And the water thing was just practical, I was getting hot in this dress.”

That didn’t seem to be a problem anymore with the way you shivered in the night air as he walked you through the parking lot.  “Want my jacket?” he offered.

“No,” you frowned, but you eyed the leather with a hungry stare.  He chuckled and took it off, draping it over your shoulders anyways.  “How far is the car?” 

“Uh, a block?  Not much parking this time of night,” he explained.

“Ugh, these heels,” you groaned, “they hurt so bad.  I don’t know if I can make it.”  You began to slip them off but he stopped you.

“You can’t go barefoot out here, god knows what’s on the ground,” he shuddered; what if there was broken glass or something?

“Well, I can’t wear these,” you frowned, “and I probably shouldn’t be walking on asphalt in red bottoms anyway…”

He probably should’ve warned you before he scooped you up into his arms, but it was sort of instinct and he kinda forgot to say anything first.  You squealed a little but then went lax in his grip.

“You’re gonna carry me the whole way?” you asked incredulously.

“It’s only a block,” he shrugged, adjusting you in his arms a bit before starting the walk. 

It got quiet after that, the cool night air rustling the trees and blowing through his hair— frankly, he was a little chilly without his jacket, but it looked better on you anyhow.  The drive home was quiet, too, or at least quieter than usual, but it didn’t feel awkward, necessarily.  It didn’t feel like a lull in the conversation; it felt more like the conversation had just changed from verbal to non-verbal.  You both looked around at the city lights surrounding you on the drive, silent because there was nothing that needed to be said.  It wasn’t nervous, or tense, or anxiety-inducing like most of his interactions with you (or with anyone) could be.

It felt like time spent with an old friend.  He hadn’t known you long enough for that to be accurate, but he was happy to think of you as a new friend.  He just hoped you thought the same.

Arriving at the house, he dropped you off at the front and watched you make a mad dash for the stairs and presumably your bedroom, smiling to himself as he parked the car and came in to follow you.  He saw his jacket tossed onto the couch and your expensive shoes discarded right by the door.  Going upstairs and peeking into your room, he saw your limp form flopped onto the bed, your back exposed from the low cut of the dress.

“You’d better not get comfortable, you’ll kill me if I let you fall asleep with all that makeup on,” he frowned, leaning against the doorway.

"I couldn't fall asleep yet, anyways.  I'm wired."

“Any plans to burn off all that energy?” he pressed.

You groaned a little as you sat up, starting to unclasp all the jewelry on your wrists, around your neck, and on your ears.  “It’ll take me a while to get out of all of this— but not as long as it took me to get into it,” you laughed.  “Then I’m thinking TV and beers.”

“Beers?” he questioned, emphasizing the plural.  “You plannin’ to get toasted right before you go to sleep?”

“No, it’s plural because there’s one beer for me and one beer for you,” you explained with the slightest air of condescension, but he couldn’t really think of it as rude since it was an invitation.

“I don’t want to intrude on your chill evening,” he refuted.

“No, really, you’re not intruding!” you insisted, standing up and setting the jewelry on a nightstand before approaching him and turning to face away from him.  “Will you unzip me please?”

He stammered a little.  “I don’t… see a zipper,” he admitted with a weak voice.

“It’s on the side here, see?” you lifted your arm a bit, and pointed to it.  

Reaching out to touch your zipper was reminiscent of that old boardgame Operation: he needed to touch the zipper and only the zipper, cause if he bumped into anything else nearby, he got the feeling he’d get zapped.

His breath caught a bit as he watched more and more of your skin become exposed, the zipper ending up so low that he could just barely see the top of something lacy around your hips— and he had to stop there because anything more could induce cardiac arrest.  

“Thanks!” you piped up happily, slipping away to your closet to do the rest in private.  “Will you get the beers while I take my makeup off?” you requested through the shut door.

“Sure,’ he replied, turning to leave but realizing he should ask first: “Shiner or Pabst?” 

“Don’t patronize me,” you grumbled, and he laughed because it was a stupid question.  Trodding downstairs, he grabbed the Shiners from the fridge, stopping to check his phone only to see that it had started to automatically send him headlines pertaining to you.

‘Touch of Blood’ star gives impromptu karaoke performance at Queens dive bar!

He laughed at the picture of you onstage, even though he thought it was kind of reductive to describe you by a movie you’d been in so long ago when you had so much great new stuff coming out.  Jumping back up the stairs, beers in hand, he found you makeup-free (aside from some leftover mascara and eyeliner that hadn’t really made it all the way off) and in a robe, laying on the bed as you pointed the remote at your TV.  He thought you looked almost more beautiful like this than you did on the red carpet; of course, objectively, everybody looks better when they’ve been painted to the point of perfection, but he liked the domesticity of this.  When you were casual and relaxed like this, he could almost, almost pretend you were his girlfriend or something.  And not, you know, a global superstar and his employer.

“Beer me,” you requested as he sat down next to you, handing you a bottle and trying to ignore the thorough view of your legs he was getting in that robe.

“Anything good on?” he prompted as he watched you scroll through the channels on the guide.

“Uh, not particularly,” you frowned.  

“They’re showing a game,” he pointed out as you passed the sports channels.

“I’d rather watch this pay-per-view porn,” you rolled your eyes.

He cleared his throat but said nothing because he was confident there was no good response to that.

“Hey, I’m in this!” you beamed, changing the channel quickly.  He nearly had a heart attack until he realized you weren’t scrolling through the porn channels anymore.

He recognized the film instantly as the one of yours that he’d seen the most, for one very embarrassing and slightly sinister reason; looking down to the corner, he saw the HBO logo and realized it wasn’t going to be edited.  His palms got a little clammy but he tried not to worry about it too much.

“Oh, this girl was super nice,” you remembered as you pointed to a character on-screen.  “She had a bigger role but most of it got edited out.”

“That must be a bummer,” he imagined.

“Eh, it happens,” you shrugged.  “Beats getting fired, or recast in the sequel.”

“Have you ever been fired during filming?” he pressed, morbidly curious.

“Once,” you nodded.  “We were only a few days into it so they had no trouble finding somebody new and redoing my scenes.  Just think: I could’ve been a Bond girl if I’d slept with that producer.”

“You— what?!” he squawked.  “You got fired because you wouldn’t have sex with a film exec?”

“I got fired because of ‘creative differences,’” you explained with exaggerated air quotes, “and, unrelatedly, those creative differences surfaced the morning after I refused to get down and dirty with the EP.”

“Jesus,” he shook his head, “that’s… I hope you told someone.”

“Yeah, anonymously.  Somebody will care someday, but not yet.  He’s still too profitable, and not enough people have come forward.”

He glanced over at you, admiring your profile as you kept your eyes on the TV and took a sip of your beer.  When you turned your head and looked back at him, he realized he’d been staring a bit too long.

“What?” you asked, quirking your brow a bit. 

“What?” he repeated.

“You’re staring at me,” you frowned.

“Sorry, I was just… sorry,” he shook his head and looked back ahead.  What he found there wasn’t much less embarrassing, though: he knew all too well that this was the scene right before THE scene.  The scene he’d watched over and over until his arousal overpowered his shame.  The scene that he’d used to try to satisfy his crush on you, but it only made it worse.  The scene that had burrowed into his mind and deepened his obsession even as he fought it with everything he had…

You know, that scene.  And he was about to watch it with you.  

Bucky was completely, entirely, and supremely fucked.

[lyuniephantasy]

a year ago

if i woke my self from 365 days ago up and told her all of these, she’d just look at me with confused eyes. where that tattoo on my arm came from, why sanremo is more important than eurovision for me now, how i got get this glow up, who the fuck alessandro and riccardo are, what the heck this thing i call brividi is and associate with diamonds, pearls, and bikes, how i am going to italy for 1/2 of that thing this summer, how i met my best online friends, how all of these happened… little does she know…

it was the last saturday of my midterm holiday and i was like “oh god tonight we have sanremo right? maybe i can watch it.” and made my preparations for the night (buying a couple of packs of snacks for the whole evening, energizing enough to stay up until 6 am, having a nice dinner etc etc) i don’t remember what i ate tho. i just remember where i was sitting in the table and how i persuaded my parents to stay up with me - but they left to sleep after the sevent song and the magic started… the magic started at the fifteenth song. there was a so beautiful boy, out of this world, he was making magic up there in the stage. he was next to mahmood, an artist i had known before thanks to eurovision. i was just about to celebrate his comeback but there was this boy with him called “blanco”, white in spanish, wearing all white, just like a “higher era” boy for me - that i was so longing for, with that trancing beauty, that magical deep voice, and the song he sang whith mahmood.

the song was what made me bring the memory of my first love back. it was 2019, i had just started high school and there was a boy in my class. the tall blonde boy with the character in my imaginary - it was so real for me back then. but i realized it was all my imaginary later on in the pandemic. anyways, i loved this guy so much. i was always taking my guard (staying next to him everywhere i can) to talk to him and tell about my feelings and also to feel safe for a bit. because his shoulders were there on that bus we took to get back home after that one earthquake in september 2019. anyways we had so much memories in our first six months at school anfd then a global pandemic seperated us and told us to go home. and never get out for a while. during that times, the big flower in my heart slowly started to fade.

two weeks before brividi’s release. i sat opposite to a young looking pretty woman who said me that she’s going to embrace me. with that faded flower and so much pain in my heart. i cried it out. i talked about that flower.

“let’s revive it.”

then two boys from italy came to give the first drops of water to that newly wakening flower. the flower is now put away somewhere in my heart but it’s always living and will always do. thanks to the that two boys that watered them, and later introduced themselves as “alessandro” and “riccardo” and did so more job in this garden, my heart, than just helping me revive the flower of the first love. they helped me love myself as well, they allied with that woman whose opposite chair i was sitting and crying out for weeks, months, and slowly started to heal me. they made me move on for my life, reminded me that this life is mine and i should be no sad anymore because of things and people who don’t even know about my existence, make all my past selves proud with everything i accomplish, live on. and just live it like this.

thank you mahmood and blanco, or should i refer as alessandro and riccardo, for everything. for all the memories. for all the glow-up. for all the magic. for all the amazing people i met on this rollercoaster. for all of the positive emotions you give me even in desperate times. for all the telepathic hugs when i was crying alone every night on my bed. for the motivation to get up on every day i wake up to the dark. for whispering life on a diamond bike to that beloved dead flower. for making me embrace all of my past, present and my future. for literally everything.

let’s ride on our diamond bikes of life to the sky full of pearls. let’s sing forever, let’s love forever 🚲

vi voglio bene 💎

[starfire-s]

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride! 

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10 

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

[creativeashproductions]

If I Stay Part Two (Final) // Luke Patterson

Summary: Life as you knew it shattered and now you’re left picking up the pieces with memories of a boy with hazel eyes in your dreams. A handsome guitarist who easily becomes your unseen number one supporter. If only you could see him again.

Warning: Swearing, mention of injuries, mention of car accident and talk of death.

Words: 2.5k (excluding the song lyrics of “I Won’t Let Go” by Rascal Flatts)

A/N: Second and last part to If I Stay! I really enjoyed this story because I adored Charlie St. Cloud and I really enjoyed If I Stay. The second part to Lost Time will be up soon when I feel confident in the storyline of it.

If I Stay Part One

Masterlist

In a split second for the first time, you felt yourself, poof, away to a sterile white room staring down at the person in the bed. Covered in cuts and bruises of all colours, was you. A broken version of you that made you sick to your stomach. You desperately yearned to go back to being unaware.

“I’m…a ghost?” You breathed looking at your blemish-free hands, a juxtaposition to the arm in a cast. Then in a nauseating thought, the grief faded for fear on your family. Had they survived? You ran out of the room straight to a nurse, “Where are my parents! Where’s my cousin Lou?”

Of course, the nurse was unaware of an upset, emotional teenage girl, a victim of a car crash and in a battle for her life. Realizing no one would answer you spent hours running around the hospital searching for your parents or Lou.

“Lou!” You shouted through the halls unfazed as you ran literally through gurneys and medical equipment even the odd doctor.

At the very last room, you found Lou sitting up in a bed staring silently at the white wall with an official man seated by the side of her bed. He held a clipboard in his hand.

“Lou, how are you feeling?” The man spoke, his white coat embroidered with his profession and labelling him a psychiatrist.

“Fine.”

“You’ve suffered a trau-“

“I’m aware. I was there. I saw a paramedic violently hitting my cousin’s chest, I saw so much blood. I didn’t know there could be that much blood!” Lou snapped glaring the man down, “I saw the brains of the idiot that caused the accident! You don’t know shit! Oh, your little degree magically has you able to understand what I’m going through?!”

“Lou-“

“You wanted me to talk! So, let me talk!” Lou screamed at the man startling you with the anger, “My cousin! My best friend, my SISTER is up in a bed in a coma! A coma because I wanted to go to a stupid resort to ski! It’s my fault! And no one will tell me anything about my aunt and uncle!”

You stumbled back at the pain Lou displayed, it broke your heart, and you couldn’t listen to it anymore.

“Lou, let’s talk about survivor’s gu-“

You fell through the closed door before you could hear anything more from the psychiatrist. You ambled around the floor aimlessly feeling the worst you ever had and to think for two weeks you hadn’t been aware of anything.

“Did you hear?” A nurse spoke from just outside your hospital room. You jogged over reading her name tag of Melissa.

“Heard what?”

“The father of the mountain accident he flatlined in surgery. Doctors got him back, but they’re concerned about brain damage.” Nurse Melissa told her fellow nurse with concern pinching her expression.

“That’s the father of the Y/L/N patient, right?” Nurse Lucy spoke glancing at your hospital door, “I hope they’ll be alright.”

“That poor girl has quite the decision to make. To live or to die. It’s all on her now.” Nurse Melissa replied, “Her mother died-“

“Little unprofessional to gossip about patients in earshot of everyone. Did you know that coma patients can often hear things while unconscious? Or my favourite tip…did you learn about HIPAA?” The doctor on duty asked, staring the two nurses down with a glared. Each nurse shifted on their feet, “Stop gossiping and do your job. I’m sure you can change bedpans or give sponge baths.”

The nurses scattered, leaving you standing in shock at the information given to you. Your mother was dead, your father could be brain dead, and Lou wasn’t coping well. Leaving you in a state of wondering what to do. Should you stay in a world without your parents or let go to join them in heaven. The thought had you collapsing into screams on the floor as everyone went about their work; walking through the hysterical teenager.

A warm hand slid into your own with a comforting squeeze, but all you wanted was to feel your father wrap you in a bear hug. To listen to your mother’s laugh, move in the air with that beautiful musical sound. You want Lou to be okay.

Luke was quiet as he sat the floor, squeezing your hand every once in a while. You slumped into his arms, staring unfeeling at the door that separated your ghostly form from your physical one. Luke poofed you to the Molina garage right on the couch where he held you tight for god knows how long.

“She’s dead.” Your voice cracked tears rolling down your cheeks once more, “My mom is dead.”

“Sh.” Luke cooed pressing his lips against your temple as you curled further into his body. His heart broke for you as the gravity of the situation became crystal clear.

“Hi.” Luke’s eyes met the concerned ones of Julie Molina, a girl that would undoubtedly know how you felt. The thing that connected you being the loss of a mother figure, “I’m Julie.”

Your blank expression lifted to see a girl you had often seen in the halls of Los Feliz High School and vaguely remembered her. She had been performing during the Spirit Rally months ago.

“I’m a friend of Luke, Reggie and Alex. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you are more than welcome to stay here. You can be in my room or here if you’re more comfortable.” Julie offered knowing exactly how you felt when a year ago, she had been grieving the loss of her mom.

“Thank you.” You replied hoarsely. Exhaustion from sobbing closed your eyes, something that was different to Luke as a ghost was your ability to sleep. 

Alex theorized that you could sleep because your body was still alive, whereas the boys had no physical body. They were just ghosts. He and Reggie were in the studio sadly watching as you slipped in a deep unsettled sleep. Luke’s broken eyes met his best friends before he had Alex come over.

“Please stay with her.” Luke whispered, leaving the tall blonde to switch places. Luke disappeared without another word.

“Where’s-“Julie began, but Reggie interrupted her with a sad smile.

“Remember when we took you to Luke’s house? He’ll do the same but with her.” Reggie supplied coming to sit on the floor in front of the couch; his hand grabbing yours in support.

In a medium-sized house with a backyard kept tidy by the neighbours, Luke found his way to your room. His grabbed a few items of clothing and sneakers into a discarded bag before he dropped the bag off in Julie’s bedroom. His next stop was your hospital room. Luke settled himself in the chair beside you watching your chest go up and down from the breathing tube.

“Hi. I don’t know you in this form, but I know your spirit. I’m not good with my words, but I’m going to try. Two weeks ago I met you in a record store, and I fell in love faster than I can tune my guitar and believe me I have the record in the band. I never believed in love at first sight, but I also didn’t believe in ghosts, but here we are!” Luke chortled leaning to place his hand on yours, but it slipped through.

His smile saddened, “As much as I love holding you and kissing your head… I’d much prefer feeling that aching and yearning feel in my gut. If I felt that then it meant you would be alive and well. I’d rather be sad that I can’t feel you than have you die so young.”

Luke saw your eyelids flicker and he hoped it was because you could hear him.

“You have so much to live for. It’s gonna be hard. I can’t deny that, but I need you to stay. Stay alive and fight for me. For Lou.” Luke choked, squeezing his eyes shut grateful when a hand rested on his shoulder. He knew it was Alex.

“Whatever you’re saying. Continue.” Alex whispered, “It’s working, her body is slowly becoming transparent.”

Alex’s words were further proven as Nurse Melissa jogged in surprised as she took vitals, “Well I’ll be damned. You decided to fight.”

Alex and Luke shared a relieved expression as you got even more strong. Together they returned to the garage. Luke was able to press one kiss to your forehead before you flickered once, twice, thrice before you dissipated.

In that hospital room, a beautiful thing occurred. Your eyes opened. Luke swore the birds sang better at the moment.

Recovery was hard. Relearning the little things, you took for granted was frustrating. Lou would hover as if you would disappear and you thought you were going insane. If you were waking up screaming by nightmares of the crash than it was waking confused on dreams that felt like memories.

The small victories helped like when you walked the entire hospital or when you were able to use the toilet and not the bedpan. The best win was being discharged to Lou’s parents and only needing outpatient physical therapy. Six months later, your father was awake and getting better; the loss of your mother still burnt hot and red.

It was on the sixth month anniversary when you walked down an oddly familiar street. Merritt happily trotting on his afternoon walk; Merritt had been an immense help. In your first month of recovery post coma, you met Merritt who would become your service dog.

A sense of déjà vu nudged you as you took in a vintage styled record store you swore you knew before. Continuing on you stop again at a toy story with a dollhouse.

 “My cousin had one…for her unborn niece.” The sentence floated in your mind, but you couldn’t put a conversation.

 “Caspar?” A male voice recalled in a distant memory of a dream a few days ago. You couldn’t think of anyone who had that voice, and absolutely no way had you ever seen that dollhouse before.

“Just coincidence.” You mumbled scratching Merritt’s head as his wet nose nudged your head before you could worry more. You watched people roaming thankful that you could do that, that you survived.

It was the building on the very end that confused you the most. Your eyes scanned the name proudly announcing itself as a tattoo parlour. A gasp left your lips as a vivid memory popped into your head with a boy that matched that voice you had thought of earlier.

“Luke. My name is Luke. Hey! I know this shop!” Luke beamed, stepping back to take in the storefront. In the twenty-five years since he last saw it, the blue faded into a teal, but the door was still the same as it always was.

“You have a tattoo?” You asked, scanning his arms bare in the cut off shirt he wore.You couldn’t see any ink on his skin. Luke couldn’t help the smirk on his faceat the blatant heated gaze.

“No.It was 1994. We just played our biggest gig at the time, and Bobby decided we should get tattoos.” Luke’s mouth twisted at the mention of his former friend, “Of course we were sixteen and Alex just about fainted in the shop. The guy took one look at Reggie and laughed at our fake IDs. Told us to come back in a few years.”

“So, you’re a ’90s kid.” You raised an eyebrow coming to a stop on the edge of the street, pressing the button to cross.

“Technically a ’70s kid. We died in ’95 a few hours before a life-changing gig.” The mood turned sombre as Luke thought back on that one night that life decided to raise both middle fingers at his dreams, “Death by a hot dog.”

You were so thankful for Merritt as he nestled up into a dog version of a hug as you felt the crippling anxiety. He was always there and knew about to help, support dogs don’t get enough credit.

When your eyes opened, it is like a dam broke and suddenly you remembered walking this street with three guys. The conversations and even the garage where one had held you in an incredibly vulnerable moment. Three ghosts that helped you when you needed it but didn’t know.

“Luke.” You breathed seeing a form shimmer in the sun as it flickered into a hazy form. Similar to how you did in the garage before going back to your body, he flashed three times. He solidified on the fourth with a great big grin.

“You can see me.” Luke cried, walking closer as he felt on top of the world when your eyes focused on him. He finally felt that yearning to meet your gaze fade away, “I missed you.”

You followed him to the Molina garage.

“I thought we’d never be able to talk again.” Luke sighed, reaching over, and he physically grabbed your hand, “I don’t know if I can touch you because of your former state or because of Julie.”

“Hm?” You questioned sitting cross legged on the bed.

“When I wasn’t watching over you, I was with Julie and the guys.” Luke went into detail about Caleb and the jolts, “We didn’t cross over because it’s not our unfinished business, but the stamps were destroyed when Julie hugged us. We’re sure that just like our instruments are connected to our souls that Julie did as well.”

Your hand brushed Luke’s cheek taking in the silky feeling of his skin, “I thought I was going crazy. I had these dreams of things I didn’t do in reality. My mind just wasn’t ready to remember the beauty of our connection.”

“This is an interesting little relationship you and I have.” Luke chuckled, thinking on how lucky he was to even know you, “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You whispered gratefully to intertwine your fingers with Luke’s hand as well. It was like they were made for each regardless of the circumstances that brought you together, “I’m not ready for anything more than friendship, but I do strong feelings for you.”

“Being dead has an advantage. I can wait for eternity, and for you, I would. Just so you know, I have strong feelings for you as well.” Luke beamed scanning your face, taking in the blemishes from the crash. In the time you hadn’t been aware of him following coming out of the coma, he had become acquainted with your injuries.

When those little victories of weight-bearing, walking one step then two and finally that entire hallway Luke had been there unseen cheering you on. When you ‘graduated’ from the inpatient therapy Alex, Reggie and Luke had been there in silent support.

“Do what you need to do, and I’ll be right here for you.” Luke smiled gently, removing his guitar from the case, “Can I play something?”

You nodded in response as started strumming to a new song he had created in the last handful of months.

“It’s like a storm

 That cuts a path

 It’s breaks your will

 It feels like that

You think you’re lost

 But your not lost on your own

 You’re not alone

I will stand by you

 I will help you through

 When you’ve done all you can do

 If you can’t cope

 I will dry your eyes

 I will fight your fight

 I will hold you tight

 And I won’t let go

It hurts my heart

 To see you cry

 I know it’s dark

 This part of life

 Oh it finds us all (finds us all)

 And we’re too small

 To stop the rain

 Oh but when it rains

The song touched you so intimately as he sang the last few lines softly keeping eye contact with you.

“…Oh I’m gonna hold you

 And I won’t let go

 Won’t let you go

 No I won’t”

You pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek that flushed at the feel of your lips against his skin. His heart fluttered and knew that you were his soulmate and he truly hoped Julie could find someone that could love her like she deserves. Luke’s heart belonged to yours and yours alone and vice versa for you as well.

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[farfromtommy]

all too well (tom holland x singer!reader)

request:  So let’s pretended the song isn’t about Jake, but could you write something where the reader is a singer and he broke up with her resulting in her writing All Too well then she has to perform it on graham norton the same day he and his family are there (she had a close relationship with them)? thank you  Also forgot to add in the singer!reader request that after the break up she moved away from London and cut her hair short

a/n: so yes this is my first attempt at an angsty piece and oh my god i’m literally a mess. thank you anon for such a creative request i loved writing this even though it tore my soul apart. this is based off of the song all too well by taylor swift

warnings: language, sadness, heartbreak, sad memories, small description of arguing 

word count: 1,400 

masterlist social media au masterlist  taglist 

PART 2

“Before we end tonight's show I’d like to introduce to you to someone on the rise, topping charts all across the world. Here to perform her new song All Too Well for the very first time, Y/N Y/L/N!!!” Graham introduced. 

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold But something 'bout it felt like home somehow and I Left my scarf there at your brother's house And you still got it in your drawer even now

Tom was sitting on the infamous red sofa watching you in all your glory. His heart dropped the instant your name left Graham’s mouth. He didn’t know you were going to be here tonight. He wondered if you knew he was here, that his brothers were here, that his parents were here.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place And I can picture it after all these days

You looked different. Sporting a new haircut that you had always talked about getting, but never brave enough to do while you were with him. The lights around the main stage had dimmed and the cameras were on you, so he frantically darted his eyes around trying to find the gaze of his family. He was met with the nervous glances of his brothers and the worry in his mum’s eyes.

And I know it's long gone and That magic's not here no more And I might be okay But I'm not fine at all Oh, oh, oh

No one but your families and a few close friends knew about your relationship. Both of you on the rise in your career fields respectively. You dated for almost 2 years before it all crashed down. Neither of you sure what went wrong at the end. Whatever did happen broke the two of you in ways that could never be fixed.

'there we are again on that little town street You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well

You didn’t know he was here until you saw him from the stage as you walked up to the mic. You thought that the head of unruly curls you saw backstage looked familiar, they belonged to Harry.  You could feel the ache in your chest rise again when you spotted the rest of his family in the front row. Memories of the past flooded your brain as you saw them staring right back at you.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on a tee ball team You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

You moved away after the split. Work had you based in London, which is how you met the curly-haired Brit. The time spent with Tom was the best in your life. He was going to marry you, build a family with you. The nights you had together were spent wrapped up in each other and talking about what was next. The pain of thinking about that future with anyone else but him angered you. It wasn’t fair that he got to take that from you. The anger and pain landed you in California, far away from everything you left behind.

And I know it's long gone and There was nothing else I could do And I forget about you long enough To forget why I needed to

Your unbearable heartbreak fueled creativity as you poured your feelings into writing. Your agent had given you the time to yourself. You gave her a vague reason for getting as far away from London as possible, just saying there was nothing left for you there and you needed to find out who you were somewhere else.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah

Tom ran, too. He couldn’t bear to stay in the room you two had frequently shared. He couldn’t stand seeing little bits and pieces of you wherever he went. Your shampoo in his shower, your blanket on the couch in his parent's house, your mug in the cupboard, and that fucking scarf at Harry’s house. He poured himself into his work. Taking every single movie deal that came up and would keep him away from London. Away from where you were building your life with him.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

He remembers everything from that night. The screaming, the crying, the pure venom that dripped from his tongue and right into you. You went quiet at the last thing he had said to you. The look in your eyes had shown Tom just how damaging his words were. All you did was pick up your purse as silent tears fell from your eyes and Tom just watched. He did nothing as he watched you collect your things and get to the front door. You turned around to get a look at him and walked out of his life forever.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise So casually cruel in the name of being honest I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well

He called you a few days later, leaving a voicemail. You were settled a bit in the hotel you found. You heard the raw emotion in his voice, the apologies falling out of his mouth. You sat curled up in the sheets with your phone pressed to your ear, knowing you would never hear his voice again. His last I love you ended the voicemail and you pulled your phone back just to press delete.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

After a while you found someone to help you pick the pieces up. Someone who knew what you were going through and had run to California to escape the heartbreak and pain he experienced. He invited you to join him and his band as they wrote their hearts out on the California beach. He helped you find yourself again, the person you were when you were at your happiest. You tried new things that expanded your mind and allowed you to feel so free.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

Tom heard the rumors of you and the British singer spending time together and writing music. You had been mentioned by the Brit a few times in interviews and he spoke very lovingly about you. You seemed happy. He finally moved his head to face you and he had caught your gaze. There was a glossiness to your eyes that he knew meant you were getting emotional. Your eyebrows furrowed as you sang and concentrated on the words, one of the habits you had that he loved. Your fingers delicate on the guitar strings made his heart race just a little more, he loved the way you played it.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

He lifted his eyes again to meet yours just to see the tears slipping down your face as you keep your gaze on him. He mouthed a quick “I’m sorry” and you nodded slightly before getting one last look at each other before you looked back to the crowd.

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

[dinosaurtsukki]

Tsukki fanfic owo S/o is always loving and caring towards tsukki but one day tsukki keeps being emotionless and neglecting s/o. He thinks that s/o will always be there cuz s/o has always been the one saying how much she loves him. But s/o gets mad cuz it was a bad day and tsukki is still emotionally off. S/o ain’t like screaming or anything but silently crying cuz that’s how tsukki is and thinks that she should take care of her own emotions. Tsukki sees this and opens up about being stoic.

Heyyy if you’re taking requests for tsukki fic, can you do a wholesome tsukki and s/o kinda thing. I wanna have one where tsukki laughs and enjoys his time with s/o. like he secretly thinks a lot about how much he loves s/o. idk but I just wanna read fanfic where tsukki laughs and smiles a lot :”)

okay i know these two were probably sent by two diff. people but i kind of wanted to do both of these in one, slightly long drabble hehe. i hope you all like this i had a ton of fun thinking of it and writing it :). also, i made reader a university professor because that’s an occupation i’m more familiar with. and,,, i hope this is what you were looking for ? (i kind of went off a bit ahh i’m sorry!) 

You and Tsukishima struggling with being around each other 24/7 during quarantine 

(feat. arguing, pen-clicking, and then some singing and fluff later on)

between you and tsukishima, it was him who predicted that the pandemic would inevitably lead to a long lockdown period where you two would have to live in the same space, twenty-four hours a day. it was your one ray of light during that dark time when the world was essentially on fire. you and tsukishima tended to have busy work schedules with him at the museum and you teaching at the nearby university so you saw the lockdown period as a way to spend more time with your boyfriend.

the first few weeks were fine aside from the constant caution whenever you or tsukishima went out for groceries. neither of you had work yet with the university and museum still adjusting so you two spent the time learning how to bake bread, sleeping in until noon, and staying up late, curled up on the couch and re-watching the Jurassic Park series.

the next few weeks were... less than fine. both of you had to get back to work, which meant a whole lot of online meetings. tsukishima spent hours working on the new online exhibits that the museum was doing while you were grading papers for days. that’s when you started picking up on some of the annoying things that your boyfriend did, like: not putting the milk back in the fridge, hogging the blankets when you guys slept, and playing the music on his headphones really loud that you had to remove them yourself to talk to him. but you weren’t the only one picking on annoying habits. tsukishima felt that he was just now realizing how many products you had in the bathroom that he couldn’t even find his own shampoo. he hated that you always finished the hot sauce by dumping two tablespoons on your food whenever you ate. and he absolutely loathed the sound of you frantically clicking your pen whenever you were stressed.

but, those few weeks were still somewhat alright. the two of you either dealt with things by talking it out or just ignoring them altogether. tsukishima would still carry you to be whenever you passed out on the dining table and you still made him an extra cup of coffee in the afternoon.

and then, the next few weeks happened. at this point, tsukishima barely had any work to do with the museum’s online exhibit up, except for answering the occasional dumb question on their website. he spent most of the day pacing the house, looking for something to do unless he was going to lie in bed while blasting music. you, on the other hand, were chest-deep in writing course packs, syllabi, compiling readings, emailing students, and conducting online classes. almost everything you two did led to you or tsukishima jumping at the other’s throats. 

and that’s when the metaphorical shit hit the metaphorical fan.

you were in the middle of checking papers, knowing very well that your deadline was fast approaching and if you wanted your students to get on with their next task, you had to send them the drafts of their papers as soon as possible. as per your usual habit when you were stressed out, you were clicking your favorite violet pen like crazy. tsukishima, who was at his desk on the other side of the room that you two shared as your office, could feel his sanity hanging by a thread that was unraveling with every click of your pen. and you were clicking your pen a lot. 

‘it’s their nervous habit, it’s their nervous habit, it’s their nervous habit,’ tsukishima repeated as he closed his eyes and increased the volume of the music he was listening to in hopes to drown out the sound.

click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-cl--

“can you not?” tsukishima tugged his headphones off and swiveled around to yell at you. the sudden volume of your boyfriend’s voice made you jump in your seat but unable to react fast enough when tsukishima stood up and plucked the purple pen from your hands. 

on any other day, you would have simply apologized and reasoned with tsukishima about your nervous habit. but, you weren’t grading a shit ton of papers on any other day.

“easy for you to say when you don’t have all these papers to grade!” you stood up and looked at your scowling boyfriend right in the eye. both of you had dark circles under your eyes and unwashed hair and neither of you cared. “why don’t you get out of the room if it’s so damn annoying?”

“maybe it’s because i also live here and i have every right to be comfortable in the office without having to hear the sound of your pen 24/7!” tsukishima yelled.

“well it’s not like you have anything important to work on,” you snapped, putting emphasis on ‘important’. that struck a vein with tsukishima and you could see the irritated quirk of his eyebrows. 

“are you saying that i’m useless here?” he said slowly and menacingly. “it’s not my fault that the fucking museum isn’t open at this time.”

“i’m not saying that but it sure would be nice for you to give me a helping hand once in a while when you know what i’m going through,” you huffed. you knew that you two were straying far away from the discussion about your pen-clicking habits but all those weeks of putting up with each other’s habits and other frustrations were bubbling from the surface.

“don’t you think i wish i could just take a break from all this? it sure would be nice if you just asked me how i was doing or cooked dinner more than just a few times a week!” you yelled.

“what am i, your mom?” tsukishima scoffed.

“no, you’re my boyfriend,” you emphasized. “and you’re just supposed to do things like that especially when you know what i’m going through. like, i get that you like keeping to yourself most of the time and you’re not super into cuddles or anything but, i don’t know, a ‘how are you?’ once in a while would be fucking great!” you gasped for air after your rant ended. for a fraction of a second, tsukishima looked almost sad or sorry and you began to hope that maybe you got through him. but, as quickly as it came, tsukishima scowled and turned away.

“if dinner’s what you want then fine, i’ll make something later. but for the love of god, stop clicking your fucking pen,” he sighed and sat at his desk before putting the headphones over his ears. you fumed at his indifference, you could practically feel your face heat up from anger. in a few strides, you crossed the room to his desk.

“we’re not done talking tsukishima!” you yelled over how loudly you knew tsukishima was blasting his music. in one quick motion, you unplugged the aux cord of his headphones.

unluckily for tsukishima, his phone did That Thing called ‘Playing Your Music Out Loud After Removing the Headphone Jack’ that he desperately avoided again and again by constantly lowering the volume on his phone before removing his headphones. even more unluckily for him, he was blasting his playlist full of taylor swift songs that had somehow held his sanity for the past few weeks.

and you, a sworn taylor swift fan, heard the very familiar opening track of ‘Wildest Dreams’. 

both of you were quiet as the intro played, both very shocked from the sudden interruption that had broken your heated argument. and then, tsukishima reacted by reaching for his phone. unluckily for him again, you reacted faster and grabbed the phone first.

“no way,” you exclaimed as you opened his playlist and scrolled through the songs, your anger quickly forgotten. 

“y/n, give it back!” tsukishima gritted his teeth and swiped at the phone in your hand. he could feel his own face heating up from embarrassment at his secret being revealed. 

“why are you embarrassed about it? it’s cute! you should have told me way sooner and we could have listened to folklore together,” you grinned at him. “and i love this song. ‘you said let’s get out of this town--’”

“give it!” tsukishima grabbed the phone out of your hand while you were distracted singing. 

“no, no, no! don’t pause it! i love this!” you whined, grabbing at his arm as he sat down. tsukishima was one press of a thumb away from ending your enjoyment. but, it was exactly that which stopped him from pressing ‘pause.’ now that he thought about it, when was the last time he heard you laugh.

and besides, ‘Wildest Dreams’ was a good song.

“come on tsukki,” you grinned cheekily. “look! it’s about you! ‘he’s so taaalll and handsome as heeeellll,’” you sang, trying to reach taylor’s high notes. 

“do you realize how embarrassing you’re being right now?” tsukishima sighed, but the hand over his mouth hiding the grin on his face betrayed how flattered he was.

“sing with me! sing with me!” you chanted, jumping up and down on the balls of your feet. “come on, nobody’s watching! in case you haven’t realized it, it’s literally been just us here.”

tsukishima looked at you. he wasn’t that unhinged from the lockdown yet that he would start singing taylor swift out loud.

but the ecstatic look on your face was something that he undoubtedly missed, along with his favorite strawberry shortcake at the cafe you two frequented. and you were right. it was just the two of you.

“...say you’ll remember me,” he sang softly. the grin on your face widened and you let out a giggle before joining him.

“standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset babe,” you sang. tsukishima smiled freely as he sang and watched you enjoy yourself. and then, you held at his hands and tugged him from the chair.

“what are you doing?”

“we’re going to dance. duh.”

“wh-what? no!” tsukishima shook his head even as you successfully tugged him out of his chair. “singing is one thing and dancing is another thing.”

“think of it as more like, you already sang so might as well dance,” you smirked at him. tsukishima stubbornly kept still even while you held his hands and swayed from side to side. “tsukkiiiiiii,” you whined when he still refused to move. you kept swaying while pouting up at your boyfriend. finally, he let out a sigh and put a hand behind your back before pulling you closer to him.

“that’s not how you dance, idiot,” he muttered. 

“so... you’re going to show me how?” you smiled cheekily. tsukishima rolled his eyes but proceeded to sway you back and forth as he hummed along to the music. you enjoyed the slow dance before, without warning, tsukishima grinned and spun you around.

“hey!” you laughed, feeling yourself stumble before being pulled back into tsukishima’s arms. 

“what? i thought you wanted to dance?” this time, it was his turn to smile cheekily at you. 

“yeah but--” you were cut off with tsukishima spinning you around again. “tsukki-- i-- stop!!” you attempted to say in between your boyfriend laughing and repeatedly spinning you around. 

“stop! i’m dizzy!” you erupted into fit of laughter as you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend to stop him from spinning you again. “where the hell did you learn that?”

“mom always had this thing where she would suddenly dance during christmas and new years when she had too much to drink,” tsukishima smiled at the memory as his hands circled around you. “usually, it was akiteru who she pulled to dance. i kind of, picked up a thing or two.”

“hmmmm, a new fact about tsukki,” you hummed and looked up at him. “i’ve learned two new facts today.”

“two new facts that you’re going to keep secret,” he emphasized, flicking you lightly on the forehead. 

“yeah, yeah. you can stop burying yourself in your headphones now and blast your favorite artist on loudspeaker,” you sang. 

“fine,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around you tighter. tsukishima realized that he hadn’t hugged you like this in a while. hell, you two hadn’t had this kind of break in a while. after weeks of feeling like he was ‘putting up’ with you, tsukishima remembered what he was doing sharing a living space with you in the first place. 

“hey... i’m actually not that bad at grading papers. like, i know grammar and how to write a proper argument. also, i had to tutor two idiots throughout high school,” tsukishima said. you looked up at him with a relieved smile on your face. tsukishima felt a knot in his chest loosen. maybe he should have offered that weeks ago.

“that would be great, tsukki,” you smiled. “i’ll... try not to click my pen too much.”

“yes please,” tsukishima sighed with relief and let you go. “i’m getting some water from the kitchen. need anything?”

“some tea would be great right now,” you nodded and sat back in your chair.

“got it,” tsukishima nodded and started for the door. but before he left, you called out to him.

“love you, kei.” 

tsukishima smiled as he reached for the doorknob. “love you too, y/n.” 

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts @applepienation also you @janellion because you’re responsible for any swiftie!tsukki content that i write from now on

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 11

Chapter 11 : Don’t Wanna Fall In Love

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6   🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

Don't have no time for love So stay the fuck away from me Because I don't believe in you

This may sound a little rough Don't want to fall in love This may sound a little fucked Don't want to fall in love

click here to be on the update list

                                                  When I walked back to Louis' room, I just closed the door behind me and shut my eyes tight, trying not to cry. I didn't know if I was mad or hurt but it was probably a bit of both, and I was not sure what I should do about it. Would crying help me? Or should I just go back and slap him? I shook my head at that thought and pressed my lips together. Of course I couldn't hit him. I had done that once before and I knew it was not the right thing to do. Plus, if I wanted to be totally honest, Niall didn't owe me anything, and I was well aware of that.

"Dev?" Louis asked cautiously, getting up. I could feel his body near mine but I kept my eyes closed and swallowed hard. "Okay, what happened? What did he do?"

My lips parted slowly and my eyes fluttered before they met his. "W-What do you mean?"

"I know him. He was my best friend, remember?"

His voice was soft and he sighed, taking an other step closer. This time, he put his hands on my shoulders and I knew that If I wanted, I could lean my head on his chest and hug him. He was close enough for me to whisper and I realized it was the only way I would be able to answer his question.

"Do I need to kick his ass?" he asked again in a breath. "What did he do?"

"He was... he was naked. On top of a girl." I finally murmured after a few seconds, shaking my head and pressing my lips together as I tried not to cry.

It was ridiculous, I couldn't let that get to me, I couldn't let something like that affect me. I needed to be strong and I was not going to let a man hurt me deeply again. This is everything I had promised myself wouldn't happen, and here I was, on the verge of tears once again because of a stupid man.

Louis let out an other sigh before he pulled me closer. His arms wrapped around me and he took me in a hug, so close that I knew that If I let out a few tears, he wouldn't see it. He leaned his chin on top of my head and I blinked a few times, feeling warm tears fall down my cheeks and end up on his sweater, soaking it a bit.

"I'm so sorry, Dev." he whispered again, tightening his embrace around me. "I'm sorry he's being an ass with you."

I hugged him tighter too and cleared my throat before breaking the hug. "Can I... borrow some of your clothes?"

His eyes roamed on me and before I knew it, he let go of me completely and walked out of his room. I frowned and followed him to the hall but held my breath when he literally just walked into my room without knocking. My eyes got bigger and I quickly walked back in his room, pushing the door slightly. It remained ajar and I swallowed hard, feeling my heart racing so fast I was scared it would just explode in my chest.

The more time passed, the more anxious I was getting and I took a few steps back, hitting my calves on the side of his bed before sitting on it. It took about 10 minutes until he came back and I let the air out of my lungs as soon as he closed the door behind himself. He handed me some clothes and smiled, moving his chin in the bathroom direction.

I took my clothes gently and nodded before walking slowly to the bathroom to get changed. I did it quickly and when I finally came back, Louis had cleaned the food and was sitting on his bed, typing something on his phone. His legs were spread on the bed and I just sat near his feet, nibbling on my bottom lip.

"Was he still..."

Louis looked up and his traits softened before he nodded slowly. "But I can tell you they didn't appreciate my interruption. Or at least, Mandy didn't."

"Mandy?"

Louis nodded and brought his legs closer to himself before crossing them. I turned around and did the same to face him. Once again, he held out one of his hoodies to me but this time, I grabbed it and put it on.

"Yea, Niall and her have got this on-and-off thing going on. More off than on, actually." Louis shrugged a shoulder. "She yelled at me and called me a wanker. She's not wrong." he added with a small smile.

I chuckled at his joke but felt my heart twist, knowing that Niall already had someone. "So, he likes her."

"No, she's an easy lay. I don't think she has feelings for him either." he said, sending me a sorry smile. "Look, I don't even know anymore, he doesn't tell me much about the girls he sees. He doesn't tell me much about anything."

"Did... Did Niall say anything?"

"Not really. He just stared at me until I left. He watched me gather your clothes and that's it." he admitted, putting his phone on his desk and turning back to me. "I wanted to take a pair of your panties just to piss him off but I knew it was useless."

"That would have been a bad idea." I pointed out, licking my lips. "I don't know why but whenever I mention you, he gets mean to me. I don't want your friendship with him to get even worse."

"Sooo, the fact that I almost searched through your underwear doesn't bother you?"

This time, I let out a real laughter. "No, not really. Panties are panties. It's not like you were some sort of pervert who wanted to steal them either."

"You barely know me, maybe I am that kind of pervert."

I laughed again and he laughed with me before leaning against his wall. I turned around but remained on the same spot just to lean my head on the wall, too. I had been here only for a few weeks and I already felt confused and sad. I knew I had to do something to make sure the pattern wouldn't last but I didn't know how to do that. After all, we can't control our emotions, we can only control our actions. That fact echoed in my head for about a minute before Louis talked again.

"He must really like you."

My head still leaned on the wall, I turned my face to him and the smile my best friend sent me at this exact moment made something stir in my stomach. It was a mix of fondness and sadness and I was not sure what it meant.

"If you're talking about Niall, you're wrong." I argued. "That's not how you treat someone you like. You don't hurt someone you like."

Louis sighed again and moved closer to me, leaning his elbows on his knees, I tilted my head slightly as I started thinking about Niall again. I thought about the song he sang in the bathroom. I thought about his head on my lap when I woke up at the library. I thought about the way he kissed me, in the dark, in my bed. It's been only a few days yet I still had all those memories that made my heart melt, jump and twist. How pathetic was that?

"He's trying to protect himself." Louis finally explained gently. "It's a bad way to do so, but he thinks you're just going to end up hurting him so he's hurting you first to push you away. That's classic Niall."

"That's fucking ridiculous." I let out, getting a bit angry. "I didn't ask him anything. He's the one who kissed me. I didn't flirt with him, I didn't ask to be put with him in that room. Hurting me is totally selfish and low."

"I know. And you're right, Devon." Louis answered, his gentle voice calming me down a bit. "I didn't say it was okay of him, I didn't excuse his behavior. I'm just trying to explain to you how he is and why he's doing that. I still think it's disgusting of him."

I sighed and shrugged. "I've let someone I really loved treat me like shit before." I just explained, shaking my head a bit. "I'm not letting it happen again. If Niall wants to treat me like that, then fine. But he doesn't have the right to be hot and cold with me, and I'm not gonna let him do that anymore."

"Okay, and what are you going to do now?"

"Try to get a new room, first of all." I let out, grabbing my phone again to put an alarm. "And just not let everything he does, good or bad, get to me the way it has before." I could read sadness in Louis' eyes but I didn't mention it. "Can I sleep here?"

"Of course, Dev." he said, sending me a fond smile. "My door is always open for you."

---

I had to inhale and exhale a few times before actually going back to my room the next day. I just stood there motionless in front of the door, not really knowing what to expect behind it. I didn't want to see him cuddling naked with that girl and at the same time, seeing that would probably help me get over him. It was stupid to think I had to 'get over him', as if I was in love with him or something like that, but I had let hope get the best of me when it came to Niall and it had to change. So he kissed me. Big deal. I had kissed people before and I didn't date all of them.

However, when I pushed the door, I felt nauseous. In that millisecond of not knowing, I realized that I didn't want to see Niall with an other girl. I had seen it the night before and I didn't want that sharp pain in my chest again. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to feel like he was ripping my heart out and loving it. I just wanted him out of my life. I wanted him out of my mind.

He was not in his bed, though. In fact, he got out of the bathroom just as I was closing the door behind me and when he saw me, he stopped for a few seconds before rubbing the towel in his hair again. I watched him walk to his bed in only a pair of sweatpants and I hated how my heart skipped a bit at his sight. I swallowed back my heart and quickly looked away, putting my dirty clothes in the basket near my bed.

"So you slept with Louis after all, didn't you."

I was surprised to hear his voice and held my breath. I wanted to tell him that I slept at Louis' and not with him but there was no point. I didn't owe him anything, not after last night.

"A shower won't cleanse your soul, you should know that." I replied exactly what he had told me on my second day.

"Who says I'm trying to cleanse my soul?"

"Who says you even have a soul?"

I slapped myself mentally for my words and closed my eyes as my back was still facing him. I didn't want him to know he had hurt me, and the best way to do that would probably to stop interacting with him completely, but it was not an easy task.

"What now? You're mad because I didn't let you sleep in our room?" he asked after a sigh. "You got to sleep cuddling with Louis instead, isn't it what you wanted?"

I chuckled meanly and turned around to face him. I watched the same lock of his hair fall on his forehead and blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses. I remembered it tickled me a bit that time we kissed but just shook my head to push the thought away.

"What do you even know about what I want, Niall?" I asked a bit rudely. "What do you even know about me?"

His amused smile fell and his expression changed suddenly. He looked slightly vulnerable, shirtless with wet hair as he sent me an expression I couldn't decipher. Was it guilt? Or sadness?

"You don't have to say anything." he finally replied after a few seconds of silence. "You're easy to read when it comes to that."

"When it comes to what?"

I was getting annoyed and pissed. The more we talked, the more I wanted to leave, the more I wanted to be as far as possible from him. I wanted to make sure he wouldn't hurt me that way ever again.

"When it comes to Louis! When it comes to your feelings for him!" he let out a bit too loud.

I could hear emotions in his tone and it made me frown. "Okay first off, you know nothing about my feelings and second of, I don't owe you any explanations about my relationship with Louis."

I wanted to tell him that I liked him and no one else but that I was not going to let him play with me again. I wanted to tell him that even if it didn't mean shit for him, that kiss meant the world to me. I wanted to tell him that I shared with him more than I shared with anyone in a long time. I wanted to tell him that I was so close to put my trust in him even if I had decided not to give it to anyone anymore but that he had ruined everything. But what was the use to all these words? I had found him deep inside an other girl a few hours before so clearly, he didn't give a fuck about it. All those words would be useless

"Don't worry, Niall." I continued while turning back around and without giving him time to answer. "I'll make sure they find an other room for me as soon as possible."

I grabbed my books and checked my phone to see if I was late to my first class before putting it in my back pocket. I still had about twenty minutes left. I turned around and walked to the door but Niall rushed to me and held the door with his hand on it. It took me by surprise and I turned to him, sending him a frown.

"So you're really going to leave?"

My eyes roamed on his face and I just shrugged. "Yes. You should be happy. That way, you can shag whoever you want and whenever you want without the risk of being disturbed. Great isn't it?" I asked sarcastically. "Until then, text me when you're about to get laid in our room. Spare me the sight."

"Where are you going?"

"Right now? I'm going to class." I pointed out meanly. "And if you don't hurry, you'll be late."

He moved his hand off the door and I quickly opened it.

"I'll see you there." he just said, making me roll my eyes before I whispered.

"Yea, whatever."

---

He was there, right on time. I had no idea how he did it but he sat a bit further and glanced at me before putting his attention to the teacher. It was hard to focus on anything but him but after a while, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it out, putting it on the table and looking at the text message I had received.

'How did it go with Niall?'

I raised my nose up and glanced at the back of Niall's head before looking back at my phone, typing an answer quickly.

'Fuck him. He can suck my dick.'

'Dev, you don't have a dick 😂'

I chuckled and licked my lips before sending my answer again.

'Yes i do. It's in a bag under my bed. 😏'

'😱'

I laughed at the emoji Louis sent me and sent him the shrugging one before pushing my phone away and taking notes on my laptop. I knew we had to meet the four of us again for that stupid project but i just hoped it wouldn't be today. I needed time to get over everything that was happening with Niall and I wanted to breathe.

It's only when class was over that I heard someone call my name. "Devon! Hey!"

When I turned around, i felt suddenly nervous at the sight of Daxia and Asher, jogging after me. The project was not due for an other two weeks and I didn't want to work on it for now. I just wanted to go back to painting class and throw some paint on a canvas.

"We thought we could meet on wednesday for the project, are you free?"

My eyes moved on her and then on him before glancing away, trying to find Niall in the room. I shouldn't even care where he was or what he was doing but I wasn't healed yet and I knew it would take time.

"Oh don't worry." Asher added, making me look at him again. "We asked Niall and it's cool with him."

I sighed and pressed my lips together before nodding slightly. "Okay, text me a time and place and I'll be there."

I got out of the room after telling them goodbye and leaned against the wall, sighing and closing my eyes. The wall felt cold on the back of my head and just as I was about to leave again, I opened my eyes and saw Niall walk out. He saw me, his smile vanished, and we stared at each other for what seemed like an hour. Finally, his gaze dropped and he turned around, leaving me with my own pain once again.

I was tired to expect something from him. I was tried to expect anything from anyone. Perhaps I liked Niall a little more than I wanted to admit to myself, and I knew there was only one way to change that. If I didn't want this feeling to grow and end up disappointing me and hurting me, I had to stop it. And the only way I saw to stop me from falling in love with him was to force myself to hate him.

[this-here-is-not-singing]

6, 9, and 10 for the THATW ask game?

Thank you so much for asking! I love having an excuse to gush about this band. My irl friends are probably getting annoyed at me so I need some kind of outlet for all the emotions their music makes me feel.

6. What lyrics make you smile?

Does it count if they also make me cry?

She'll whisper, "I've waited, oh, so long for you to come" And as the stars above them hum and hear them He'll turn to her and say, "That's what she said"

in Fair makes me smile while also bringing tears to my eyes. Fair is such a beautiful and poetic love song, yet it depicts such a mundane type of love, it celebrates the small moments you share with the person you have built a live with. And I feel like you can especially tell in these lyrics, where the large and poetic lyrics "as the stars above them hum and hear them" are contrasted with the mundanity of a "That's what she said" joke.

9. What is your favorite performance by Madeleine?

Oh this one is so hard! This woman is a force of nature, I am fully convinced she is some kind of fae. I could name literally every single thing she ever sang here and it wouldn't be a lie. But alas, I need to choose. Maybe I'm biased, because Farewell Wanderlust is my favorite song but I think I'll choose the entire first part of that. Especially the way she sings

I'm the heartbreak that aches far too much to be shunned All those letters unsent and that garden ungrown I'm the captain of courage that you've eternally lacked I'm the Jesus of wishing to Christ he'll come back

Her voice just makes me feel things, man....

10. What is your favorite performance by Joey?

Again, how do I choose? His voice is so powerful and haunting!

I was tempted to just say Farwell Wanderlust again because... well. But I'll have to go with Welly Boots. The song itself is already hauntingly sad yet hopeful but I don't think it would be able to move me to tears every single time I listen to it if it wasn't for all the emotion that Joey puts in his voice. I am not exaggerating when I say that I just got goosebumps just thinking about the way his voice sounds at

You'll miss me, Jesus Christ, you'll miss me Just much as all those years ago

The Horror and The Wild album ask game

[heiterbroward]

Riverdale prome

Ok so first things first, I expected this episode to be bad...but I didn't think it would also be boring af! Kinda awk for an ep called "climax" to be as anticlimactic as it could get without boring people to literal death.

Anyway, let's start with Bughead. Is there a reason the whole town is at their beck and call? Like all they have to do is ask and suddenly Kevin, Cheryl, Reggie, etc. will all stop what they're doing (which is nothing but still!) to do favors for Bughead...including making a snuff film? Like ok...first of all, why do they want kids watching this to google what a snuff film is? But also, they were all pretty excited to take part, even Kevin. Like we get it, they all get turned on by it! Jk it's not sexual (isn't that the excuse they used for the tickle porn plot? Anyways...).

Also, the part where it was playing Hal's tape at the weird place, Betty looked shaken by it and had to stop for a min. But I thought her dad being the Black Hood is badass and a good card to pull any time they need to hurry up and solve a case? At least, that must be what she wants Jughead to think. And he takes at face value that she's unaffected so he can keep living out his fantasy of dating Dark Betty! I'm surprised he didn't suggest that she kill him on tape! Jk tho bc they have great communication. Also nice to know Jughead can just threaten someone to beat up Brett bc he has Serpent connections in prison. Like damn, all Bughead's schemes are contingent on nepotism. No way the Jughead fake death plot would've worked if they didn't have FP (the police), Charles (the FBI), Dr. Curdle (the medical examiner), etc, all in on it! They're kinda like Nate from Euphoria js. Like are you a mastermind, or do you just have the privilege of having the town wrapped around your finger?

Don't even get me started on Varchie. Archie looked miserable af the whole time, so I guess he must've become totally joyless since getting rejected by Betty. But don't worry, he'll still ask Veronica to hop in the shower for a quick bang even though she gives him the ick as of late. Did he even ask her to prom? Idk! Kinda shipped him w that one dude from Katy Keene, but that's another story. I also thought Veronica singing "Carry the Torch" would be more sad bc it would show Veronica looking at Archie and maybe show flashbacks of them or something and the irony would be that he doesn't even feel those words about her like she does him...but they just showed a flashback of Barchie in the bunker and barely even showed Veronica during it at all. Like even in a scene where she should be important and her perspective should be shown, she's still an afterthought. Toni, too, but I'll get to Smithers in a min.

Also loved how there was no confrontation. Like Veronica didn't even get mad or anything...we didn't even get her thoughts at all actually beyond her crying. Like what does she make of all this? Doesn't matter I guess! Also funny how Archibald downplayed it like "it was just one kiss!" It's like ok? Last time, it was one kiss. This time, you sang a song about soulmates, kissed again, sang a song about finding each other in a wicked little town while experiencing mutual pining, had an emotional affair and multiple meet ups in the bunker, had enough feelings to write a love song to Betty, and was about to leave Veronica for Betty until Betty shut the idea down. But yeah, it was just a kiss!

Stg Varchie are gonna end up like the song "Me and My Husband" bc is there a reason she felt compelled to handle the situation with so much grace? Maybe too much? Can't let yourself get too upset bc it might "implode" Bughead? So what? Isn't Jughead entitled to the truth, or does Veronica still value Betty's feelings over her own for some reason? And Varchie will just date until graduation, then break up...why? It's like there's this invisible force that's making the couples feel like they have to stay together to uphold the status quo or something. Such toxic positivity. Let's act like nothing is wrong bc draguation is coming up! Ugh, don't even remind me of how Archie didn't even do drag in the Hedwig ep. But anyway, all their interpersonal relationships have become so fake and performative. Varchie's convo felt like a couple trying to discuss the best way to go about breaking up to have the best PR...everyone is afraid to rock the boat too much. And everyone else is reacting so unemotionally that Veronica feels out of place for crying even though her reaction is the probably the most normal. Just seems like Varchie both dc about their relationship at all at this point. And they're gonna put them back together bc her husband will be Hiram Jr. and she'll have no other options? K!

Speaking of toxic positivity, what's up w this message that you have to stand by your family no matter what? Veronica's friends were all in on knowing about Barchie and not one person decided to tell her the truth. And that mixed with Hiram's "disease" just made it feel like the only people on earth who will ever prioritize her are her toxic family. Same with Cheryl. Like since when is family the most important to her? She goes back and forth between loving and hating Penelope. And how am I supposed to think her Nana is someone good for her to be around when she raised a monster bootyhole like Clifford? Like you don't have to be endlessly loyal to your family if they do nothing but cause you trauma. No one is entitled to your loyalty.

Also, Choni's breakup felt just as robotic as Varchie's. Like "i will always remember our times together TT" or something and Toni says "ok bye babe." Plus was it supposed to be cute or iconic that Cheryl demanded prom queen like she demands all her parts in the musicals? Bc maybe for once they could've tried to give her a human moment and had her campaign for someone else to win. Or maybe have all her friends team up and vote for her without her demanding it to signify that she has actually managed to build some genuine friendships over these last few years. But of course she hasn't. No one has. Who talks in this show unless they need a favor?

Cheryl also kinda came off manipulative when she only expressed remorse when Toni was about to break up w her. She didn't think she did anything wrong before that bc she has never respected Toni's boundaries and views Toni's desire for autonomy as a personal attack/betrayal. This mixed with her losing touch with actual people who have been there for her (Veronica and Archie) in favor of becoming suddenly buddy-buddy w Bughead (even though they blackmailed her to save FP and only talk to her when they need a favor) and forming a possessive (and apparently not emotionally fulfilling since she was still seeking out Jason's corpse for companionship when they were together) relationship with Toni that she has now lost has left her feeling alone again...just like she did after Jason died. She hasn't made any progress in the past four seasons in working through her trauma and has only gotten worse. She needs to seek out healthy relationships with people who hear her out and offer her empathy/compassion but also stand their ground and have appropriate boundaries. Kinda like her friendship w Veronica in season 1, but it's not season 1 so I quit!

Also, is there a reason this was marketed as a storyline for Toni even though her perspective was shown zilch times? Right...but instead, Cheryl will go on about being "a victim of the family curse" while still standing by her family. Somebody help my bestie bc she needs to gtfo and go date Donna! I said what I said!

P.S. When Mary said endgame...and she thought I wasn't gonna clock her on that! Plus if Fangs wanted prom king so bad, why didn't he get mad that Kevin didn't stand up to Cheryl on his behalf or even try? Idk at least then, they would have dialogue!

[wayward-riana]

Soothing Chords | Bucky Barnes

Summary: Bucky's life is poisoned by his constant nightmares but Y/N has the perfect antidote.

Warnings: Brief mentions of anxiety and sadness. Nightmares. Fluff.

Grey clouds loom over the night sky. The trees rustle each time the wind gushes through. The compound is dead silent. Only things that aren't silent are Y/N's heart and Bucky's demons.

Y/N sits on the edge of her bed. Sweat drips down her temples as she presses her hand against her chest. Her heart palpitations have gotten worse. Sometimes she feels like her heart will burst out of her chest. She struggles to catch her breath. She can't bring herself to calm down so she makes her way to her safe haven. Her studio.

Her footsteps are delicate against the cold tiles that lie beneath her feet. A shawl is draped around her shoulders to keep her from being cold. She hugs herself as she walks through the long, extended hallways. As she passes the kitchen, she notices a silhouette. She comes to a stop to see who it is. A glint of metal catches her eye.

It's Bucky.

Y/N and Bucky haven't interacted a lot. They only ever talked when they were introduced for the first time. Bucky was quiet since the first day he arrived. He doesn't really talk to anyone, that much. And Y/N is shy. It takes time for her to come out of her shell. She is open with the others but struggles to be herself around the reserved man.

She clears her throat, startling Bucky. His gaze snaps to her.

"I'm sorry," Y/N apologises. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Bucky nods at her, "It's all right."

She slowly walks towards him where he sits, "Couldn't sleep?"

He shakes his while heaving a sigh.

"Nightmares."

She didn't expect him to answer. She struggled to find the right words to say, not wanting to offend him.

"I don't mean to pry, but do you get nightmares a lot?"

"Every damn night." He states.

"I'm sorry...I wish I could do something to help." She pauses before she's hit with an idea.

"Appreciate the thought." Bucky offers her a small smile before looking down, again.

"Bucky, come with me."

That's all she says before she takes off in long strides. Bucky can't help but follow her. His eyebrows furrow deeper in confusion as he walks behind her.

His blue eyes dart around as he finds himself in an unfamiliar wing of the compound. Y/N stands in front of a pretty door. She takes out a key and unlocks it. Bucky was confused that keys even exist in this place. Usually, everyone in the compound uses passwords or whatnot to open doors. Stupid modern people.

The door opens to reveal a lavish room. The walls are decorated with red wallpaper with gold patterns on it. Multiple acoustic guitars rest on the wall. Some are vintage while some are absolutely new. The electric guitars are stood on the floor against the wall. There's one of each colour. A huge drum set sits at the very corner of the room. There were several violins, too. And finally there was a grand piano, that blends right into the room.

Bucky's jaw was on the floor. He did not expect this.

"I know this is a bit too much. All I wanted was a small room to keep all my instruments, but Tony built me a studio, instead." Y/N sighs.

Of course Tony built a studio for his god-daughter. He would build her another world, if he could.

"Come on in." She steps inside, tugging Bucky along with her.

"Can you play all this stuff?" He asks, jaw still hanging loose.

"No no, I just keep all these instruments to stare at them," She says, sarcasm enveloping each one of her word. "I do play all this stuff."

"That's impressive."

"Thanks, Sergeant."

Y/N walks to the grand piano and nestles herself on the bench. She pats the spot beside her, indicating Bucky to sit. He pauses to look at her for a moment and takes slow steps before finally sitting down.

Y/N's fingers glide effortlessly across the keys. Bucky notices her eyes aren't even on the keys, they are closed. He can't help but be in awe. She looked angelic. The rays from the spotlights engulfed her face. She glowed like a star and Bucky realised, for the first time, just how beautiful she is.

Here I am waking up, still can't sleep on your side

There's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time

If I could dream long enough, you'd tell me I'll be just fine

It's been decades since Bucky sat down to listen to a song, properly. Back in his days, he's heard a fair share of singers but no voice came close to hers. Her voice was delicate yet powerful. Each note held so much emotion. Bucky felt every word in his heart.

So I drown it out, like I always do

Dancing through our house, with the ghost of you

And I chase it down with this shot of truth

That my feet don't dance, like they did with you

A tear slides down Bucky's cheek as soon as Y/N hits the last note. Neither of them say a word. Silence looms over them like a ghost. Before Bucky eventually breaks it,

"That was beautiful."

******

And from that day, every night, Bucky and Y/N were found inside the studio. Y/N's heart palpitations improved over time but she still chose to wake up every night for Bucky. She sang to him every night so that he could sleep safe and sound.

Steve was so surprised to see his best friend in deep slumber. He might've cried a little but no one needs to know that.

Y/N had created a special bond between Bucky and her. She was very proud of it. They were good friends yet she couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she was utterly in love with him.

She hid her feelings from everyone but Tony could see right through her. He always did. He just wanted his god-daughter to be happy, so he gave her solid advice,

“Look, kiddo. I know you have feelings for Barnes. You gotta tell him not only cause you’re confusing him but you’re letting yourself fall into a deep void. You think I don’t know that you can’t sleep at night? You think I don’t know about how you developed a heart condition because of all that stress? I do. I know everything. And because I love you, I’m telling you to confess.”

Y/N resorts to one of her brilliant ideas, to tell Bucky she loves him through a song. 

*******

“So, naturally I told Sam to fuck off and leave me alone,” Bucky chuckles. “ mean, who does he think he is?”

Y/N smiles at how the beautiful man in front of her can’t contain his laughter. How the corner of his eyes crinkle as he does so. The apple of his cheek flush red when he catches her staring. He clears his throat before composing himself, “What are you going to sing for me tonight, doll?”

He eyes as she fists her trembling right hand. Her shoulders are tense, her left leg is bouncing making the guitar on her lap shake. Maybe she was having a tough night or she was growing tired of his company. 

She inhales loudly and grows still. She stays quiet. She knew she could back out, if she wanted to, but she needed to do this. She needed him. More than anything. 

Her thumb slid down the strings of the guitar filling the room’s silence. Her fingers slowly start to strum a chord progression and she readies herself to lose another person that she loves, 

Loving and fighting

Accusing, denying

I can't imagine a world with you gone

The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of

I'd be so lost if you left me alone

She maintains eye contact as she sings every word. Her eyes are glossy with tears threatening to spill. The lump in her throat makes her voice strain as she hits every note. Bucky is confused and concerned. He just can’t understand why she was being so distant yet it felt like she was telling him something. He hated seeing her so broken. So anxious.

You locked yourself in the bathroom

Lying on the floor when I break through

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat

Can you hear me screaming "Please don't leave me"

Y/N’s voice cracks as she refrains herself from sobbing, Bucky considers stopping her. HIs heart ached. He considered rushing to her and pulling her into his arms while kissing her hair, letting her know that she’ll be okay.

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right

Bucky, I swear to love you all my life

Hold on, I still need you

It takes him a solid second to realise what she just said. He doesn’t know if she actually said that she swears to love him all her life or he was just lost in his thought and he didn’t hear her correctly. 

“D-Doll?” He stammers not being able to bring himself to say anything else.

“I love you, Bucky and I have since the day I sang to you for the first time. I kept this in me for so long and it was weighing me down. I couldn’t hold it in, anymore. I had to let you know, even if you left. I had to tell you how I feel.”

Bucky stands up and walks towards her. He kneels in front of her and gently takes the acoustic guitar from her, and sets in on the ground. He rests his flesh hand on her lap, hesitant to do the same with his metal one. 

“Why would I leave?” He whispers in the softest voice.

“Even if you don’t, what if you’re ripped away from me like everybody else?”

“Everybody else?”

“My father sacrificed himself for S.H.I.E.L.D. My mother literally died from a broken heart. My brother...who took care of me died in the battle of New York. I lost everyone. Everyone.”

Bucky has spent so much time with her, but no one ever told her that his favourite girl had been through so much. He couldn’t believe how she still had such a positive energy. She was a literal hero.

“I love you, Y/N. I really do and I didn’t tell you because I’m not good enough for you and because I didn’t know you felt the same way,” He leans forward to press his forehead against hers. “But I’d like you to be my best girl. I want you to be my best girl. I promise, I’ll never leave you and I promise I won’t let anyone rip me away from you. I’ll be here, always. For you. We’ll hold each other through our darkest nights, and you will sing and everything will be better. I love you.”

He strengthens his promise by gently placing his lips on her.

On the other side of the door, Tony wipes the tears from his eyes. His little girl that he had raised is finally happy now and he couldn’t ask for more.

__________________________________________________

Songs mentioned:

Ghost Of You | 5 Seconds Of Summer

Hold On | Chord Overstreet