#I AM. ACHINGLY UPSET

[starheirxero]

WELL, WIN FOR ANOTHER ONE OF MY LUNAR PLAYLIST SONGS BECOMING MORE CORRECT AGAIN. UNFORTUNATELY FOR LUNAR THO IT'S THE SONG ABOUT ABANDONMENT ISSUES

[ssahotchnerr]

hi!!! could you write aaron x bau! reader, where jack accidentally finds a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom or somewhere in a drawer before reader gets a chance to tell aaron)))🫶🏻

tells

omg omg i could cry 🫶🏻🥹 cw; pregnant bau!reader, mentions of pregnancy symptoms, a ton of fluff <3 wc; 1k

"Hi sweetheart."

Aaron's eyes rose as you entered his office, before returning to the files laid atop his desktop, a paper in his right hand. His stare had lingered momentarily, so he noticed the bag in your hand. "Heading out?"

"Yup, gotta pick up Jack." You replied, hoping you sounded somewhat normal, given your current circumstances. You felt as if your voice was borderline squeaky, in that attempt to remain normal, while also resisting the urge to bounce on your toes. "You coming with?"

On another note, you were so incredibly thankful to be leaving early; overwhelmed with nausea, back pain, fatigue. Ginger ale had been within arm's reach all day, an achingly long day. Laying in bed had never sounded more appealing.

"No, I wish I could. There's a few consults I need to look over before tomorrow. It shouldn't take too long, though." He got up, inching towards you, "I can, however, spare some time for you."

Your nose scrunched in amusement, leaning up to peck his lips, "You're too good to me."

He chased your lips, murmuring into the kiss with a soft smirk and teasing you right back, "I do try."

After the two of you pulled away (and a whistle echoed outside from a passing Derek Morgan), you toyed with his tie, smoothing it cleanly against his torso. "Don't stay too late, okay?"

"I won't." Aaron kissed you once, twice more before retreating back to his desk. He held onto your hand for as long as possible, causing it to fall gracefully to your side. "I'll be home before dinner, I promise."

Instead of leaving, all you could do was stand there; staring at him, completely giddy. The secret you held, it made you feel a whole new kind of love when you looked at him. The father of your unborn child, the perfect addition to your family. A new love you had created together.

Aaron's gaze lifted, catching you ogling him, a confused smile forming on his face. "What?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." You shrugged, forcing your feet towards the door. "I'll see you at home."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously, playfully. He absolutely didn't buy it. "Okay, drive safe."

-

"Hi." Jack greeted, climbing into the backseat and shutting the door behind him. He struggled the smallest amount, his backpack weighing him down.

"Hey Jackers," You twisted behind, offering a warm smile, "have a good day?"

"Yeah." He verified, and left it at that. He simply settled in, buckling up.

While you had thought you were the one being strange, he was definitely more so. As you took the route home, he remained quiet in the back, rather than being his usual talkative, wanting-to-tell-you-everything-about-his-day self. You peered at him in the rearview, observing him.

He didn't look pale, so hopefully he wasn't coming down with something. He didn't seem upset - his eyebrows always pinched together in worry when he was. Even this morning during breakfast for instance, he seemed far away, off in his own world. If you didn't know any better, he looked on edge, but in a jittery, seemingly excited way. Antsy, and oddly familiar.

"You okay?"

Jack nodded, keeping his eyes out the window. His absorbed expression indicated the gears continuing to turn in his mind.

"Did something happen today? You're awfully quiet."

"I have a question."

You stopped the car, arriving home, turning around in your seat again to fully look at him. "You know you can ask me anything. Whatever's on your mind, nothing's off limit."

His eyes lit up, hopeful yet quizzical. He quietly and timidly asked, "Am I getting a baby brother or sister?"

You blinked at him, surprised, as that was the last thing you expected to come out of his mouth. But you couldn't stop the small smile tugging its way onto your face. Not only because you were happy, of course, but you also didn't want him thinking he had done something wrong. "What makes you ask that?"

"I wasn't snooping, I promise. I went into your bathroom to look for some floss - Dad said I could, said it was in the top left drawer - and I saw it, it said pregnant. But I didn't mean to see, I swear."

Your expression softened sweetly, a gentle laugh escaping you too, "It's okay buddy, that's completely on me. I didn't do a very good job of concealing it at all."

An adorable, boyish smile pulled at his lips, the words leaving him shyly. He could infer the answer, but he needed the actual confirmation. "So... am I?"

After a moment's silence, letting the suspense linger, you confirmed, your heart bursting as you did. "You are."

"Yes!" He nearly shouted, immediately unbuckling his seatbelt and throwing his arms around you, as much as he could with the obstacle of the driver's seat. His arms mainly reached around your neck.

You laughed gleefully, your hands raising to his arms, squeezing them gently - a makeshift hug for the meantime. Tears dared to spill down your cheeks, overwhelmed with emotion.

He released the embrace, sobering for a moment and the realization beginning to fully set in. "I'm really getting a sister?"

"It could be a boy too." You arched a brow, grinning.

"Yeah," he matched your smile, buzzing with happiness. "And I'd love that too. But, I think it's gonna be a girl."

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see." You shrugged coyly, "It's still quite early, so we won't be able to find out for a couple weeks."

"Weeks?" He whined painfully, but it faded as fast as it had appeared. "I'm so excited. I can't wait."

"You wanna know something else?" He nodded profusely. "You're the only one who knows."

Jack's eyes brightened more if it were possible, in both exhilaration and shock. "Seriously?!"

For the meantime, it was a special secret, shared just between the two of you. You could've sobbed right there, between his genuine sweetness and excitement. And the hormones.

Regardless, he was going to be the best big brother.

"Dad doesn't know?"

"Not yet. I was brainstorming how to tell him, how to tell you, but you were just too quick for me." You flashed him a teasing grin. "That means you have to help me come up with a fun way to tell him, and quick, because I think he's onto me. Deal?"

Jack held out his pinky, interlocking it with yours. "Deal."

[fandomlit]

the right to jealousy (draco malfoy x reader)

requested by anon "Hiii if it's not too late I saw you were looking for Harry potter requests!! If you write for Draco please do prompts 1, 31, 36, and 20 where he's jealous but doesn't want to admit it to reader and then just kisses her? If you don't write for Draco just ignore.. thank if you do!"

warning swearing, aggressive verbal argument

o hey i do writing prompts,, those used in this imagine will be in bold

gif cred belongs to @draco-fuckingmalfoy

"where have you been?"

you jumped, not expecting to hear a voice so late at night when entering the slytherin common room. placing a hand on your heart, you looked around with an annoyed expression to see draco malfoy sitting in one of the chairs, not even looking at you.

"why do you care?" you sighed, not forgetting how he had brushed you off earlier that day when you tried to talk to him in potions. draco had been rather crass with you lately; ignoring you in lessons, seemingly fuming every time he caught your eye, and making sneering comments at you when you managed to get him to say something. you were getting fed up with it; a week of sass from the guy you were crushing on had you grumpy in every lesson.

he finally looked up at you from the paper he'd been reading, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "i am a prefect, you know."

you rolled your eyes. "how could i ever forget.." you started to make your way to the girls dormitories when you heard his footsteps approaching behind you.

"i asked where you've been."

you turned around to find him much closer than you'd expected, his jaw clenched and his expression positively livid. if you weren't so mad and confused with him, you would've found his anger achingly attractive. "what do you care, draco? you seem to take no interest in where i am any other hour of the day!"

"i don't care!" he spoke defiantly, but his own fury betrayed him. "i couldn't care less if you were out there with potter or whoever the hell in the middle of the night. but as your prefect, i ought to know!"

you blinked in surprise at the accusation of you being with someone. "what does it matter if i was with someone not, draco? do you just think of me as some common lass who sneaks out to get her-" the realization dawned on you mid sentence, and you watched carefully as draco's jaw clenched, as if he were biting back another shout amidst your working mind. "are you jealous?"

"oh come on, i see the way you've been looking at him," draco accused, dodging your question. "looking at him like everyone else does--like potter owns the castle and everyone in it. like he's some hero to our ranks. and i've seen the way he's been looking at you, too." before you could ask what the could possibly mean, he crossed his arms again and spat, "so was it him that was worth sneaking out for?"

you scoffed at him, shaking your head. "you're mad! you're deluding yourself into thinking i was out with someone because you're looking for something to be upset about!"

"i've said it once and i'll say it again: i don't care."

"everything about you right now screams otherwise," you scoffed again.

"just tell me who you were with and this is all over!" he spat, opening his arms in a frustrated manner. "i am a prefect, y/n, you have to tell me."

"get a new excuse!" you demanded. he just glared at you and you glared right back into his darkened grey eyes. you let your words ring for a moment before you asked again with less ferocity, "draco, are you jealous?"

"you're slow today," he spoke quickly and ferociously, taking your face in his hands and practically crushing your lips to his. despite the quickness and pent up aggression in the kiss, it was desperately satisfying to let go of the argument to throw your arms around his shoulders, letting days worth of tension melt into his mouth.

after a few quick, hot moments, the kisses turned slower and longer as the anger that began the exchange simmered, and all that was left was the passion that underlined everything between the two of you. when you both pulled apart, draco surged forward one last time for a long, hard kiss before he finally opened his eyes. you were slower to open yours as he dragged his hands your arms to slip to your waist, his face still only a mere inch from yours.

"better than whoever you were with?" he asked lowly, giving you a cocky half-smirk despite his hot breaths still hitting your lips.

you rolled your eyes but your former anger didn't resurface. "considering i was just at a private astronomy lesson with professor sinistra, definitely." the admission made him close his eyes for a moment. "yeah, feel a little stupid now?"

"no," he was quick to answer, grey gaze immediately locking with yours again. "now that you're mine.." you raised your eyebrows at him but didn't interrupt, "i have the right to feel whatever the hell kind of jealousy i want."

"so you admit it, then?"

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

Something completely unhinged with Euronymous please 😭 like the reader riding and overstimulating him until he's crying and his orgasms are dry 🥺

Safe a horse, ride your black metal boytoy 🤠

Deathcrush

Summary: Looks like Euronymous gets really sensitive when overstimulated.

Pairing: Euronymous x fem!Reader

Word Count: ~1.1k

Content Warnings: Trve Kvlt Smvt 18+!, Bondage, Unprotected P In V, Overstimulation, Crying, Begging, Affectionate Degradation, Wax Play, Forced Orgasm, Implied Aftercare

A/N: Time to piss off some elitist, gatekeeping edgelords 😌🫡

Disclaimer - I want to make it abundantly clear that I am not writing about the real Øystein Aarseth. I am writing about the fictionalized version of Euronymus portrayed by sexyman Rory Culkin, please and thank you!

Tagging the gender neutral hoe squad:

@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @alalalaaallaaalaaa @star-milk-tea @milsthouqhts @roryculkinsbf @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @b4sementgrl

"Ma'am, stop, please! Please, I'm begging you! I can't…", Euronymous whimpered into the candle-lit bedroom, "It's too much, please!"

His wrists pushed and pulled against black rope that you had used to carefully tie him up against the head of the bed frame.

The rope most certainly added a nice, aesthetic touch to the view in front of you. His pale, nearly chalk-white skin against the black forming a contrast pleasing to the eye as you sat on top of him, his achingly hard cock buried deep inside of you as you rolled your hips against his crotch.

"Oh, I think you can take more, sweety.", You didn't stop in your movements as you smiled down on him, droplets of sweat covering his forehead and his eyes practically pleading unto you, "You've been so good for me so far and you don't want to upset me, do you, Euronymous?"

"No, of course not, Ma'am. But.." His raspy voice broke as you clenched down around him, making him twitch involuntarily.

"But what, baby, huh? Use your words." You teased with slightly arched brows.

"It's too much, please. I just need a little break, pretty please!" He pressed out of trembling lips.

"A little break, hm? Is my little fucktoy feeling sore? Worn out from Ma'am riding you all night long, yeah?" For a few thrusts, you picked up the pace, waiting for him to answer.

"Yeah, yes, fuck, Ma'am, please! Just a little break!" He mewled, almost unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Okay, granted. A small, little break you shall have…" With that you halted in your movements, a devilish grin spreading across your face, because you'd certainly give him his break but only on your conditions.

"Thank you, thank you so much, Ma'am." Euronymous gasped, his chest heaving up and down with every raggedy breath.

"Of course, baby. What kind of Ma'am would I be if I wasn't listening and taking good care of my property, hm?", You let the palm of your hand wander over his defined chest, nails scratching softly, playfully, "You know I really like your chest, don't you? It's so pretty but I think we could make it even more beautiful."

Withholding a laugh, you watched his brows furrow in confusion, his facial expression turning from sheer overstimulation to questioning.

"C-could we?" He looked at you with widening eyes.

"Oh, yeah! Let's just take this candle right here…", You leaned to the side to grab one of the many candles from the nightstand and let it hoover above his chest, "And let's add some color to that nice, soft skin of yours."

With a carefully watching gaze, you tilted the red candle gently until little drops of melted wax tripped over the edge right onto his chest.

Euronymous hissed upon impact, the liquid turning back into a solid on his skin.

"Oh, that's pretty! You know, I'm feeling a bit inspired right now…" You grinned to yourself as you slowly started to drip the wax in the rough shape of an upside down pentagram onto him.

With each droplet he squirmed and squealed underneath you, actively moving himself inside of you again.

"That's not fair…" Euronymous whined, his eyes fluttering shut as the pain from the hot wax and the ongoing overstimulation triggered every nerve to fire.

"You're moving now, baby. I'm just giving you that break you wanted to have so bad." Your tone saccharine-sweet as you talked down on him like that.

"No, no, you're making me!" He sniffled, the first hot, few tears of helplessness gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"Oh, no, I don't think so. That's your needy cock thrusting into me right now and deep down you know that you just need to cum for me again." You taunted him in a soft tone.

"N-no!", His voice was sore and shaky as you continued to drip wax onto his chest, "I can't…I can't cum again, please."

"Nuh-uh.", You shushed, "We both know that you can, babe."

After you finished your burgundy red work of art on his body, you placed the candle back onto the nightstand. Resting on top of him, your cunt provocatively clenching and throbbing around his cock, you attentively watched heavy tears roll down the sides of his face as an avalanche of gibberish spilled out of his mouth.

"No, no, please, no. I can't do this, no, please. I'm so sore, Ma'am, please. I can't cum again, please. There's nothing left, I-" He sobbed under his breath as you picked up the pace again, rolling and rocking your hips against his lap, his cock thrusting into you in languid strokes.

"But why are you so fucking hard for me then, huh? Filling me up like the good fucktoy you are." It left your mouth in a low moan, as the tip of his cock stroked and nudged against that sensitive spot inside of you.

"I don't know, I don't…I can't…" Euronymous' voice cracked again, his entire body turning rigid beneath you.

"See? Just let go…cum for me, babe." You encouraged, trying to push him over the threshold for the 4th time tonight.

"It feels so good but hurts…" He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth in a whiny groan, surrendering to you milking him dry yet again.

With a guttural cry, he arched his back from the mattress, his cock pulsing and twitching inside of you as you pulled another orgasm from him. Moaning and whining, he squirmed, pushing against the restraints until you slowly stopped moving.

"I'm so proud of you, babe.", You leaned down to press a long kiss to his quivering lips "I love my perfect, little fucktoy so much. I'm going to untie you now and you'll get all the praise you deserve!"

[luveline]

suicide warning (vent but more introspective than anything) (please don't read if it will upset or distress you, I am in no danger nor will I be in the future)

I'm sure I'll regret talking about this but I've been having this really weird feeling lately. I used to be very suicidal for a long time when I was growing up, and then it got lesser, but for a while there was nothing I wanted so much as to kill myself, and now I'm much better than that thanks to being granted the space and time to get better and the support and love of my few friends and family, but it's been on my mind a lot lately too. I am not going to hurt myself in any capacity, but I guess I feel like there's nothing for me. I used to want to die as like, a response to needing to escape, and then it was because I couldn't handle the extreme anxiety I was experiencing, but these days I don't feel I need to escape where I am nor do I get so achingly anxious, but there is this unamed absence. I don't want to move forward anymore, because I feel like there's nothing to move forward into, I think? I don't have much passion for anything but that isn't me saying I'm not happy! Because I'm so happy when I'm talking to my friend or when I'm with my sisters, but by myself I don't want to really go on. I think I'm wondering if other people know what i mean? I know I've spoken on here before about the loneliness I was suffering with, and I know now that I'm not alone in that. But I don't know if it's normal to feel this way. It's starkly different to how I wanted to hurt myself in the past. I never would, because I love my family and I don't want to hurt them, and I don't believe there's nothing to live for. But not much, either.

I'm not sure if it's dissatisfaction, or I'm just having a moment, but now I finally have all the things I was striving for but couldn't maintain when I was suicidal, a job and education and general wellness, I can't help noticing that there's still something wrong. I'm worried that it's just me, and that I'm gonna feel this way because I am this way. I'm really worried I have nothing to offer to the world or my family and I think I've been trying to compensate for that with the wrong things. Right now I am struggling to feel a connection to everything, or a desire to do one particular thing, is this a common feeling? Not to be silly but is it just depression, or is it nothing like that? I don't want to do anything anymore besides sit in bed, but I'm constantly aware of time passing, and even when I'm in bed I don't actually want to be in bed, I want to distract myself, but I don't enjoy any of the distractions. I guess, altogether, in one big sum up, I feel like I have no value as a person and that my life has nothing for me either.

Again though, I am not in any danger of hurting myself or doing anything like that and this isn't meant to worry anybody, I'm hoping someone knows what I'm feeling is all

[minnaci]

okay. whipped out my laptop again for apology tour. same disclaimers apply: i'm not a hellaverse blog (or, if i am, i'm very much in denial about it), i enjoy the show and the characters, and my opinions are informed by my personal lived experiences. apology tour spoilers ahead.

i've done a lot of scrolling through comments and posts since watching apology tour and, while many good points were made, i'm not sure that any of them sufficiently sum up how conflicted i feel about this episode. i'll try to hopefully stumble my way into a coherent analysis.

full warning, it will be blitz-centric, but there is enough nuance in my heart to be sympathetic to stolas, too. both of them fucked up! i just happen to identify more strongly with blitz.

tldr: the showrunners said it best. stolas is not quite as self-aware as he should be, and blitz... is blitz. cw for spoilers and discussions of american racism (particularly antiblackness) and classism.

this crux of the issue in apology tour continues to be miscommunication, which is heavily influenced by 1. both blitz's and stolas's pasts and 2. the sociopolitical context in which they operate.

1 . STOLAS

stolas was a victim of emotional neglect in his childhood, and then a victim of his emotionally abusive wife in his adulthood. he, as he so aptly implies in apology tour, has never truly felt wanted beyond what he could provide to his family. one of the only times we have ever seen stolas happy was at the circus as a child, where he developed a fleeting, parasocial admiration for blitz.

in this way, stolas is painfully, achingly relatable. while he grew up in a disgusting amount of material wealth, he has been deprived of the one thing you cannot buy with money: unconditional love. he yearns for the type of romance he reads about, the type of passionate desire that he watches in his telenovelas, and when blitz comes along— the one, shining memory in stolas's otherwise dull childhood— stolas falls into the fantasy.

and that's exactly what it is. in the beginning, stolas doesn't really want blitz. he wants what blitz represents— a charming, seductive figure to ravish him, to hold him close, to show him that he is desirable and make him feel wanted. it's a fantasy at the price of the key to stolas's job— a fantasy that is, from an outsider's perspective, easily explained by racial fetishization. more on this later.

to stolas, it's a small price to pay. the grimoire, a token piece of power to the goetias, in exchange for the one thing that stolas has always wanted? sign stolas up! stolas has never had to worry about his livelihood, nor his safety— not in any way that matters. not in any way that blitz would have had to.

stolas is ignorant. he is naive and unaware of how the world works. this remains true when he falls for blitz, when he plans to "set them free" (a la "when i see him"), even after he confesses and his fairy-tale fantasies come crashing down around him. he is not in a place where he can comprehend the effects of class on his relationships because it is not something he has ever had to consider before.

all that said, none of that invalidates the way that stolas feels when blitz explodes at him in full moon. stolas setting his boundaries at the beginning of apology tour ("i feel uncomfortable when you talk to me that way") is valid. it's actually an example of communication gone right in this episode, in that stolas explicitly communicates how blitz's actions make him feel.

his resultant upset when blitz keeps pushing him and antagonizing him is similarly valid. his decision to go to verosika's party is valid. my main point here is: while i don't particularly enjoy stolas's actions in full moon or even in apology tour, i can empathize with wanting to be wanted by someone so badly that it basically ruins your life.

again, stolas is ignorant. he lacks self awareness. he is emotionally immature and lacks empathy. but the message here isn't "rich people can't feel heartbreak", at least for me. the message is "even though he is hurt, stolas needs to understand that his actions have consequences, and that blitz experiences relationships (and the world) in a fundamentally different way than stolas as a product of the differences in socioeconomic contexts in which they were raised."

2. BLITZ

oh, blitz. where to start? this is where i admit that there are a lot of similarities between the way blitz and i grew up, and a lot of similarities in the ways that we view relationships now (read: i may project a bit. apologies in advance).

from when he was young, blitz has learned that the only successful type of love is love that is transactional. he loved his mother, and she died in a fire he started. he loved fizz and barbie, and he ruined their lives. the only "successful" love he has experienced is love where he provides something (read: gets "used") and receives something in return. so, unless he can provide something of value to his partner, blitz prefers to keep it casual. in blitz's mind, people don't care about blitz, and people shouldn't care about blitz. loving blitz has always been a recipe for disaster, because in his perspective, if he can't provide something to his lover that offsets the destruction that he causes, then he's not worth it.

it's normal for blitz to feel used. it's normal for blitz to feel less-than, or unwanted, or unloved, and it hurts blitz less to believe that. sex is fun. he can "do sex", and he can do sex good, and maybe to him, that's all that he can do good. he certainly can't hold down a relationship. his employees only care about him because he provides a stable source of income. his daughter only cares about him because he gives her shelter. it's normal. blitz feeling hated is normal, and the normalcy brings him so much comfort that he purposefully pushes people away to maintain that awful, vicious cycle of a status quo. it's a self-fulfulling prophecy.

blitz's approach to stolas in the beginning of apology tour is his desperate bid to return to normal. stolas being so short and angry with him is almost comforting— blitz knows how anger feels. he knows how hate feels. stolas is just another person who finally, finally realized what blitz knew all along— love is something that isn't possible for blitz, because he always fucks it up (at least in his perspective). and if stolas lets blitz fuck him, lets blitz provide this service to him, then maybe, blitz can "earn his way to earth" (read: "earn" stolas's affection back). affection, to blitz, is something for him to work tirelessly and endlessly to receive— a sisyphean affair. he is not ever intended to actually receive it.

stolas doesn't recognize this. stolas doesn't even try. but in stolas's defense, blitz doesn't exactly make it easy. i may empathize with blitz, but i think i would also be a little less prone to empathy if the object of my affections mocked my feelings by brushing them off in favor of sex and then screaming "GAY" in my face when i refused.

the rest of blitz's apology tour is borne out of pettiness towards stolas, because in his eyes, stolas is the one who wronged him. stolas was the one who accepted the rules of engagement with blitz (i.e., a transactional relationship: the grimoire for a bit of fun, kinky sex). stolas is the one who has all the power. stolas is the one who can choose to ruin blitz. stolas is the one who ruined the good thing they had going.

except... blitz doesn't really believe that. deep down, subconsciously, blitz knows he loves stolas, and by being in love, he's done to stolas what he did to his mother, to fizz, to barbie: ruined his life. maybe, if blitz could seduce stolas and make their relationship transactional again, he could correct their course and save stolas the pain of believing that blitz is deserving of love. it's a trolley problem: pull the lever, and blitz is the only one who gets hurt. let the trolley continue, and stolas will inevitably get caught in the crossfire of loving blitz.

blitz can handle a little pain. he handled it when his mother died. he handled it when fizz hated him. he handled it when barbie left him. he handles it over and over again, being used as tool for sexual pleasure or physical violence. he earns his pain, just as he feels he must "earn" the grimoire. just as he feels he must "earn" the little tokens of stolas's affection.

as an aside: the grimoire is more than a symbol of blitz's livelihood. it's a physical representation of the stark difference in class between blitz and stolas, as well as a representation of the transactional nature of all of blitz's relationships, not just the one between him and stolas. it is one magical book among thousands that the goetias own— a veritable drop in the bucket of the immense power, wealth, and influence that the goetias, and by extension, stolas, wield. that same book which is inconsequential to stolas and the goetias is everything to blitz. without the grimoire, he loses his job and everything that comes with it, including (in blitz's transactional view of relationships) millie, moxxie, and even loona's companionship. but i digress.

it's been said before that there is nobody who belongs at the blitz hate party more than blitz himself, and it's true— there is nobody in hell who could hate blitz more than he hates himself. because as much as he might present himself as a little dumb, he's anything but. he knows what he's doing will destroy him. he knows if he continues to do what he's doing, he'll "die alone", which, in some ways, is what he fears more than anything. he even tells verosika that he "doesn't want to be like this forever", but he can't seem to stop himself. he doesn't know how to stop himself.

after all, he's right. everyone hates him. it's evident in the party they've thrown for him. and the worst part thing is: it's his fault, and he knows it. he knows he's hurt all of these people, and even though he plays at callousness, he can't quite hide his hurt that stolas in particular won't hear him out. he can't hide his hurt that stolas can't seem to understand where blitz is coming from. because blitz does try to talk to stolas in apology tour. he tries to tell stolas what he's feeling, and how he regrets how he's spoken to stolas, but stolas is too drunk and too upset to care (which, btw, not blaming stolas for that. if i were a drinker, i'd be right there beside him).

stolas, in this moment, focuses entirely on himself and the pain that blitz put him through (again, not blaming stolas for that), but it tells blitz that stolas really, really does not care about him anymore, if he ever did. and wasn't that what blitz wanted? isn't that what blitz deserves? so it's easy to let a bigger, taller, more handsome, more suave imp sweep stolas off his feet and out of blitz's life. the imp is, by his t-shirt's estimation, "better than blitzo", after all. and don't they say that to love someone is to let them go?

verosika's advice to blitz only cements this. stolas is moving on. stolas deserves better. and blitz? all blitz deserves is to be used, so can he really be mad that some better imp is giving stolas what blitz never could? and again, blitz has dealt with the people he loves hating him before. his father sold him for $5. his best friend hated him for years. his sister still does. at least with stolas, he got the asmodean crystal out of it, and he won't lose the only semblance of companionship he has left.

3 - SOCIOECONOMIC CONTEXT

i saw a post that said that fans are focusing too much on the class difference between stolas and blitz, and i couldn't disagree more. in fact, i'd say that we are not focusing enough on the class difference between stolas and blitz.

all of stolas's ignorance is magnified tenfold by his lack of understanding of how their class and race difference colors their relationship. all of blitz's self-hatred and self-worth issues are exacerbated one-hundredfold by these same class and race differences.

classism and racism go hand in hand, especially in america. in helluva boss (and especially in the beginning of the stolitz dynamic), there is an implication of racial fetishization. blitz, the "lower-class" poor imp, fulfills stolas (an "upper-class" wealthy elite)'s fantasies of being "ravaged" and "taken" in his own home. stolas canonically enjoys the rough treatment, enjoys the taboo feeling of having blitz fuck him. it's very evocative of how some white american women fetishize and fantasize about black men— a fetish that has its roots in white supremacy (and especially the enslavement and ongoing oppression of black people in america.)

that said, in the context of helluva boss, it is very clear that blitz is aware of his socioeconomic standing the implications thereof— more aware than even stolas, who has ostensibly been educated on the social and economic nuances of the realm he helps to rule. he tries to tell stolas about how this difference in class affects him and amplifies his already awful self-worth ("you're a prince. it's hard to believe you would want me. that anyone would want me"), but stolas is incapable of hearing him.

all this to say, blitz is not solely to blame for their current relationship. that isn't to say that blitz is blameless. in fact, blitz isn't the most emotionally mature either— most of what i have written about him are things that i doubt he consciously realizes about himself. but stolas's ignorance and lack of willingness to consider where blitz is coming from, both emotionally and socioeconomically, make up a huge part of why stolitz continues to miscommunicate.

anyways. yeah. viv was right. things sure did happen.

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 5, Episode 2. The Acolyte Eulogy

In crushing news, The Acolyte has been unceremoniously cancelled after only one season. The Stereo Geeks present to you their eulogy for this Star Wars show that was arguably their favourite in the live-action pantheon. But, Ron and Mon don't always agree about what makes the show great.

Listen to the episode on Spotify.

Ron: Hello and welcome to a new episode of Stereo Geeks.

Mon: Today’s episode is a eulogy to the short-lived Star Wars show, The Acolyte.

Ron: We barely knew you! But we will never forget you. I’m Ron.

Mon: And, I’m Mon.

Ron: I’m going to start us off by saying that I’m really angry The Acolyte has been canceled. I’m upset, yes, but I’m mostly furious. This show deserved a second season. People of colour and women deserve to see more entertainment that centres them.

Mon: I don’t know how to feel, to be honest. I feel like we’ve been robbed of a show that’s so smart and so achingly clever, as well as being effortlessly diverse. But, I had my reservations about a second season – I definitely wanted the show to continue, but I had mixed feelings because my favourite characters would likely not be there. 

Ron: Am I the only one on this planet who straight up didn’t notice that the show was “diverse”? I just saw a show with interesting characters. 

Mon: I didn’t think about the diversity either, especially not while watching it. But I couldn’t not notice it when I began writing my review for WWAC, which will be out soon.

Ron: The diversity is impressive! The only people who could have a problem with it are problematic, narrow-minded morons. But more on that later.

Ron: You've mentioned that you weren’t sure about a season two. A lot of amazing characters were lost in season one, but I honestly think another season would have given us even more Jedi to love.

Mon: That’s a positive way to look at things. I guess I really miss the characters, so I am not ready to move on from them. But I know I would have had we got another season. 

Mon: We’re going to head into spoiler territory right now, so if you haven’t seen the show, this is it, this is your chance. 

Plot

Ron: By now, most people probably know the story. I’ll share my first impressions. I was hooked from the opening scene. Carrie Anne Moss as Jedi Master Indara exemplified cool. She is completely at ease against her unknown assailant, dodging every move, predicting the next step. It’s only when she sees who the assailant is that she’s stumped and that’s the end of her. 

The rest of the premiere follows the Jedi as they try to uncover the truth behind Master Indara’s murder. A Jedi murder mystery. How absolutely amazing is that? I was in love. 

Ron: I will say that the entire show wasn’t a Jedi murder mystery. But that wasn’t a bad thing. The Acolyte introduced a ton of lore and built so much more of the Star Wars universe. We got to see the Witches, progenitors of the Night Sisters. The power of two theory plays a huge part in this story, and we’ve seen how Force dyads work throughout the films.

Mon: It took me a minute to warm to the show, mostly because the first episode is one of the weakest, directorially speaking. It’s not paced well, and it promises a setup that it abandons pretty quickly. The story that it abandons the mystery for is really gripping, but I wouldn’t have minded a murder mystery. 

Ron: That’s so bonkers that the first episode felt weak to you. I was enraptured! 

Mon: Wow. We’re usually of the same mind. This is so weird.

Ron: And, I actually do think the murder mystery angle paid off. But the show takes a very long-winded way to solve the mystery, and along with it, we get this whole other story about a Sith lord looking for an acolyte.

Mon: Yeah, that makes sense. Things picked up from the second episode, which is really well done barring the final duel, which again, isn’t well-paced. 

Ron: Wait a second. Why didn’t the episode two duel work for you? 

Mon: The duel says a lot about the characters, but it lacks an urgency that the story suggests should be there. 

Ron: Perhaps I was so taken with the show, the pacing didn’t bother me. I liked that the pacing gave us time to observe and feel the moment.

Mon: So, it’s funny, but, the pacing really bothered me when I first watched it, but the issue was practically non-existent when I rewatched it. This show, and I don’t really know whom to blame, is not made for a weekly rollout; it’s made for a marathon-watch. The structure of the story doesn’t take the ebbs and flows of weekly viewing into account. If you’re on a high from the previous week, you’re going to need something mind-blowing the week after. That’s not how The Acolyte was made, which, I think, may have worked against it. But, when you watch it as a whole, I swear, this is the best thing I have ever watched!

Ron: Fascinating! I do feel like a lot of TV shows are crafted like that. Or, rather, they’re designed as a film that’s cut up into shorter episodes. Hence they make for better marathon viewing and you get episodes where seemingly nothing happens. I didn’t mind, but the crybabies on the internet couldn’t handle it.

Mon: Well, Disney is obsessed with tv shows being one long movie, so the pacing goes awry when you make it that way and then cut it up for a weekly feed. That being said though, even in the episodes of The Acolyte where nothing happens, so much happens. It’s outstanding. The writing on this show is unbelievably good.

Ron: It doesn’t help that people have no patience and get annoyed with a show because they have to wait a week or more to get their answers. An episode like “Teach/Corrupt” feels meaningless to certain viewers but it’s actually packed with character dynamics that set up the remainder of the plot. But you’ve got to have at least a modicum of intelligence to understand that.

Mon: You’re not wrong. How dumb are people that they don’t realize the answers to their questions will arrive in the next episode. This show brought out the worst in people. 

Ron: For me, The Acolyte captured that feeling of watching WandaVision. So many mysteries to solve. So many Easter eggs to find. We’d watch the episode and go online and people would be losing their minds at the newest reveals or a shocking death. That’s what television is all about.

Mon: The intricate details of this show – not taking into account the Easter eggs and references – are so brilliant. The way the clues to the story are littered throughout the show, and how someone is reacting or doing something plays out is really extraordinary. 

Ron: Exactly! Everything matters in this show. The way Sol looks at something. The confusion on Yord’s face. Vernestra not reacting to information. It all matters in the end. But you’ve gotta watch the damn thing for answers!

Fan Reaction

Ron: So, I guess we might as well get the horrid part out of the way. The so-called fan reaction to the show.

Mon: There’s no such thing as a Star Wars fan. They’re just bigoted, racist, sexist AHs. I cannot stand the discourse around anything to do with Star Wars. You and I love Star Wars, but there’s no point in calling ourselves fans, because that is the most toxic group of disgusting luddites that anyone can encounter. 

Mon: I cannot, for the life of me, understand the blatant hate for this show from the first episode onwards. It makes no sense other than the obvious – which is misogyny. It makes me want to scream. Yes, The Acolyte has issues, but this is the best Star Wars live-action show out there, it’s better than Andor, a show that everyone loves, but one I felt really underserved its protagonist, who happens to be Mexican. 

Ron: It’s racism and misogyny. We see it over and over again and it’s unbearable. For us to see a Star Wars show full of people of colour and women. We feel seen for the first time. But despite there being a plethora of tv shows and films with white men in the lead, the fact that there is one show with people of colour evinces this much hate.

Mon: But this hate is causing real damage – we are constantly losing entertainment where the story doesn’t focus on cis white able-bodied dudes. We’re stuck in a cycle that will not be broken because the biggest entertainment companies in the world, like Disney and Warner Bros., will cave to the stupidest common denominator. I just can’t….

Characters

Ron: Enough about those awful excuses for humanity. The Acolyte was filled to the brim with characters that I instantly fell in love with. I want to talk about everyone!

Mon: I wasn’t sure what we were getting into with these characters, but they piqued our interest with little hints to their personalities and their histories. And the writing was well-matched with a lot of great performances that got us invested in these characters. 

Ron: Yord-Horde, what’s up! The instantaneous love for Charlie Barnett’s Yord Fandar gave me life. This Jedi Knight is such a stickler for the rules, he even steams his Jedi robes. What is not to love? I appreciate how quick Disney was to share BTS videos of Barnett talking about Yord and his goofiness. They really made us fall in love with Yord.

Mon: Love Yord. He’s certainly a stickler for rules, and that makes him seem boring, but he gets the job done. On the rewatch, I realized he has a chip on his shoulder – it seems that he hasn’t conquered his fears yet, and the other characters remark on that. It’s the layers to this character that really leave us wanting more. 

Ron: I missed that about Yord’s fear. A Jedi whose afraid? Dang, no wonder he’s so stuck up.

Ron: The character who stole my heart was Jecki Lon, played by Dafne Keen. I was excited to see her again after her incredible breakout role as Laura Kinney in Logan. And she was excellent on His Dark Materials. But Jecki is just a sarcastic ray of sunshine in this show. Every scene, she’s a delight to watch. She’s so mean to Yord, and their relationship was hilarious to watch. But she’s got a soft side to her. The way she talked about becoming one with the Force, it was so wise and comforting. And those lightsaber moves! We’ll talk about the duels in a bit.

Mon: I love Jecki! She’s snarky, but she’s so kind to Osha. I was certain they were setting up a romance between Jecki and Osha – those two had amazing chemistry, and like… Osha takes the time to watch Jecki train before saying goodbye. So adorable! 

Ron: I would have loved a romance between Jecki and Osha. The chemistry was palpable.

Mon: And Jecki had the best fight scenes. That energy, those smarts. I could have watched Jecki in combat forever!

Ron: We have to talk about Osha. And Mae, of course. You go first because I believe we’re going to disagree.

Mon: So… I really struggled with Amandla Stenberg’s performances as Osha and Mae. I felt they were unable to bring any emotion or expression to their characters, and that left me unable to understand who these characters were or how they actually felt. 

Ron: Okay. We’re going to disagree. Do you remember when Arrow Season 1 was out? Everyone went after Stephen Amell because his Oliver Queen was too wooden. And I never felt that because I understood why Ollie lacked emotion.

Mon: Should have known you’d bring that up. I never had an issue with Amell’s performance in Season 1 of Arrow, because it was obvious he was restrained and, honestly, just didn’t know how to fit back into his old life. But that’s the key – it was intentional, or at least came across that way. Here, with Stenberg, I think they’re going for restrained, but they’re all over the place, and they don’t react to anything that’s happening to them. 

Ron: That’s exactly it though. I think Stenberg’s performances are intentional. They’re a huge Star Wars fan and they’ve particularly shared a long-standing fondness for Anakin Skywalker. I believe Stenberg knew when to emote and when not to. It was subtle but there is a very distinct change in physicality between Osha and Mae. I was so impressed by it because the first time we meet Osha, it’s just after Mae’s murdered Master Indara. And I immediately knew this was a different person than the murderer. Osha holds herself so differently than Mae does.

Mon: We’re going to have to agree to disagree here, because I felt that they missed the mark. I’ve watched the show twice now, and they don’t convey their characters’ emotions at all.

Ron: Oh no. I don’t want us to disagree! I really freaking loved Stenberg’s performances. Osha’s far more emotive than Mae is but she’s got that restraint that comes with Jedi training. But Mae’s primary emotion is anger so we don’t get to see her emote anything else.

Mon: Wow! How am I missing this? What is happening? There is a divergence in the Force and it ain’t good!

Ron: Hahahahaha. I think it becomes even more clear as we’re getting to the end of the show. When Osha and Mae switch places, by that point, they’re both questioning their past and their understanding of what happened. And the physicality starts to change but also the way they express themselves. By the final scene, Mae is relaxed and emotional, and she’s crying. But Osha is holding herself up and taut, refusing to let her emotions slip out. It’s like she’s unburdened her lightness into Mae and taken the dark side on. It’s so clever! But perhaps it was just too subtle?

Mon: Subtlety is not lost on me. I just don’t think they did a good job. But you know who did? Lee Jung-jae!

Ron: I think Master Sol, played by Lee Jung-jae, might be one of my favourite characters in all of Star Wars. In just 8 episodes, we got to see this extremely nuanced, flawed, deeply empathetic Jedi master who did something very wrong with the very best of intentions. The kindness on his face when he sees his padawan, Osha, I knew right then that I was going to love this character. He brought the serenity that we associate with Qui-Gon Jinn but with the pathos of Anakin Skywalker. Even knowing what he did, and it’s unforgivable, absolutely, I still love this character. He had an incredible arc. That final scene, when Osha is force choking him and he lets her, he accepts his fate, it was so emotional and moving.

Ron: Lee Jung-jae was phenomenal in this role. He learned English in just four months so he could play this character. To emote so beautifully and effectively in a foreign language. You can see how much he loves this universe!

Mon: Lee Jung-jae is so amazing that words cannot describe how wonderful he is in this role. He carries so much knowledge about his character’s past, present and future in his expressions from the very first episode onwards. It’s honestly mind-boggling. Sol in the first two episodes is written and performed to make you fall in love with him. He is a master like no other. He is a person so kind, so caring, it’s like, why can’t we have such loveliness in our real world? 

Mon: And then the other Mynock drops, and you learn the truth about Sol. 

Ron: There was so much foreshadowing! But I still hoped the truth wouldn’t be as bad. It was worse.

Ron: There are a lot of people who were upset that their new favourite character turned out to be a bad guy. But I think that’s a reductive reading of Sol. Everything he does in the present is to make up for his mistakes in the past on Brendok. He’s constantly working to redeem himself, and that’s what makes him a Jedi, not a Sith. I mean, Anakin Skywalker murdered Sandpeople and Jedi younglings and he still got redeemed.

Mon: What Sol did was wrong, but only because we saw the story from his victims’ points of view first. If we were following the Sandpeople, Anakin is probably the boogie man they tell their kids about all the time. But that’s not the angle we got; with Sol, Indara, et all, creator Leslye Headlund, intentionally wanted to give us a different point of view from the Jedi’s.

Ron: What a clever story decision. To show us the Witches’ way of life, the love that Aniseya has for her daughters and then to show us what the Jedi did to them.

Mon: Over at Soundsphere, I wrote about how the show challenges how we perceive the Jedi, but it doesn’t change our knowledge of them. It’s bizarre that so many people took umbrage to how The Acolyte depicted the workings of the Jedi, when we’ve witnessed, several times, that they have been taking Force-sensitive children away from their families forever, that they have an almost cult-like need for their followers to stay in line, or else they’re seen as a problem. The Jedi are hardly perfect, but while genocide isn’t in their mandate, it’s not like they’re not known to commit atrocities – either as part of the Clone Wars, or when their people go rogue, like Anakin did with the Sandpeople. 

Lightsaber duels

Ron: Unfortunately true. The Jedi are only the heroes of their own stories. But we can all agree that the coolest thing about the Jedi are their lightsabers, right? And that The Acolyte had the best lightsaber duels since the prequels. The energy, the speed, the range of techniques, the ferocity. This is lightsaber duelling!

Ron: Look, I know a lot of Star Wars fans want to move away from the Jedi. We got nine films in the Skywalker trilogy. It’s a bit weird for the fate of an entire galaxy to be tied to one dynasty, whether they’re blood-related or not. Which is why people wanted to move away from lightsaber-wielding Force-users. Then you get films like Rogue One which are mind-blowingly relatable, political and impactful, and there’s not a Jedi in sight. The Mandalorian and Andor also didn’t have Jedi in them – that’s changed for Mando, of course.

But I don’t think the problem is seeing more Jedi. We just need different Jedi, different eras. That’s exactly what The Acolyte gets right. We go a century into the past, the High Republic era, the Jedi reign supreme, no Sith in sight. And bam, now you’ve got Jedi at the top of their game, with skill levels that wowed us during the prequels.

Mon: People are never happy. Lightsaber duels are the best – when done well. We need more! I would love to see more Jedi. And we need a variety of personalities, like we had on The Acolyte. They can be a cult of emotionless monks, and still be interesting. Three trilogies and a bunch of animated shows already proved that was possible. 

Ron: What more proof do people need? But the lightsaber duels in this show are truly to die for. See what I did there? Maybe the fight between Sol and Mae wasn’t as well-paced, but when the Jedi go up against the Stranger? That’s edge-of-your-seat stuff. Jecki’s moves, her quick-thinking. You just know she would have risen up the ranks of the Jedi in no time had her life not been cut short.

Mon: Episode 5 is when I sat up and took notice of this show. I was like, okay, these people are not messing around. They’re doing something different here. They’re making an entire episode one long fight scene. They’re not scared to kill off our main heroes. They mean business!

Ron: What really impressed me is that Star Wars is over fifty years old. And yet, we get The Stranger, with his creepy-as-hell mask, made of Cortosis that shorts out lightsabers, and his moves are unlike anything the Jedi have ever seen. Considering this is the High Republic era where the Sith are basically unheard of, the Jedi must have felt like they were meeting a nightmare.

Mon: Sol even says to the Stranger that you’re using a Jedi weapon but you’re not a Jedi. These are Jedi who’ve mostly known peace, a killer like the Stranger is unfathomable to them. 

Ron: I got chills when Sol said that! And it got me thinking about something. We as the audience know about the Sith, but the Jedi in the show don’t. It’s really difficult to keep up the suspense and the stakes when the audience knows more than the characters. I spoke about this in a previous episode of Stereo Geeks about Dark Matter, the Apple TV show. There’s a reveal to the audience in the first episode that the characters take up to episode three to work out and it was painful to watch. The Acolyte worked from the same playbook but managed to ramp up the tension and build an atmosphere of fear for its protagonists. We keep saying it but this show is so clever. By the way, Dark Matter has been given a second season. But not The Acolyte.

Mon: Where’s the justice!

Twists

Ron: Speaking of the Stranger, what was a bigger twist? That Qimir was the Stranger? Or that he killed the wonderful Jecki Lon?

Mon: Jecki being killed was a bummer for me, so not much of a twist. But Qimir being the Stranger was like whaaaat! And it was so freaking clever, because I remember, we were watching the episode the first time, and I had just asked you if Qimir was still stuck hanging upside down and then pow, he’s the Stranger. I thought to myself, no way!

Mon: Part of me was like, but of course! Why would they cast Manny Jacinto and give him the role of a smarmy supplier? I mean, that can’t be it! Give me a break. They were smart. I didn’t see it coming though. My jaw dropped!

Ron: But Star Wars has cast big names in tiny roles before. Poe Dameron was going to die after two scenes until JJ Abrams realised he was too hot to die. 

Mon: Wait, is that true about Oscar? He was too hot to die? Because he totally was. 

Ron: Okay, so I may be embellishing a bit. But that’s totally what happened. Too hot to die. Yord, sadly, did not get that same treatment.

Mon: I feel you. Yeah, I do wish Yord and Jecki and Sol and Indara had survived. I love these guys so much. Yord and Jecki live on in a YA book. Indara too. Not sure when we’ll see Sol again. 

Ron: After they killed Jecki, I thought to myself, you’re going to let Yord live, surely? We deserve one of them to live. But nope! Yord’s neck saw the wrong end of the chiropractor’s twist.

Mon: Funny. That’s Yord humour, I’m sure of it.

Ron: Thank you. I aim to make him proud. Well, Sol doesn’t make it to the end of the season either. He gets killed by Osha. And Vernestra puts the blame on him for everything. The ignominy!

Mon: By the finale I figured that Sol wouldn’t make it. It was the final blow because I somehow still wanted him to. But, again, the showrunners know that you know what’s going to happen, so the finale is not about his death – it’s about us seeing the bleeding of a kyber crystal, and it’s about the Jedi protecting themselves, to such an extent they’ll drag one of their own through the mud. This show is gut-wrenchingly smart. 

Ron: Was anybody else squealing when the kyber bleeding happened? Because that was such a cool visual. I’ve always wondered about Sith blades, because I like Sith lightsabers, so this was a spiritual moment for me.

Mon: I did not know seeing a bleeding kyber was something that was so important to me, but apparently it was. Apparently, a stolen Jedi weapon is the only way a Sith can own a lightsaber – they must bleed the stolen kyber crystal to wield it. 

Ron: Ooooh, I love these details!

Ron: I will say, I really wanted Sol to live. Not just because he’s my new favourite character but also because I wanted to see him pay for his crimes. That would have been interesting to see. What does Jedi justice look like? Because in all of Star Wars, we’ve seen a lot of justice dispensed via lightsabers.

Mon: That’s such a good point. I agree.

Score and song

Ron: We do mention this a lot but we love listening to film and TV scores. I couldn’t wait to dig into The Acolyte’s score. Mostly because that Power of Two song by Victoria Monét was stellar!

Mon: I love that Power of Two song. When I did my rewatch, that was the one post-credits episode that I watched all the way through so I could listen to the full song. I need to add it to all my playlists. 

Mon: I haven’t heard the score. Just a tune here and there. Is it good? 

Ron: The Power of Two is such an addictive song. But the score itself is lovely. There are some throwbacks to familiar Star Wars tunes but for the most part, Michael Abels has constructed a new score. Part one of the score, episodes 1-4 had a lot of outstanding pieces. ‘Teacher and Student’, ‘An Acolyte’, obviously, ‘Combat in the Courtyard’, and my favourite is ‘Under the Bunta Tree’. I can’t wait for you to listen to this score!

Mon: I’ll give it a listen soon. 

Cancellation 

Ron: Obviously we’re upset by the cancellation because it’s a Star Wars show and we love to spend time in that universe. But for me, while I was watching it, I was so amazed that this show with this story and cast of characters existed in my lifetime. That I got to see it unfold every week for eight weeks and share in the joy and surprise of it with you and other fans. The fact that we won’t get another season, and if the loudmouths have their way, anything else like it, is what makes me feel so gutted. Life is tough and entertainment is our only escape. But that escape is being denied to only select groups, while others have so much made just for them. I know I sound bitter, but that’s how I feel right now.

Mon: I feel you. As I said, I wasn’t sure how I’d approach a second season, because I wasn’t all that invested in the characters who were left, but I was dying to get back in this world. I am so annoyed that anything slightly different from the norm gets squashed. And why? Because the loudest idiots don’t know how a weekly television show works and that women and people of colour love and can create art that’s smarter than these loudmouths? Man, I just don’t have the words for this nonsense. 

Favourite Moments

Ron: Instead of wallowing in sadness, let’s relive some of our favourite moments from the show.

Mon: Some of my favourite moments… honestly, it’s tough, because there are some detailed hints to what’s happening or going to happen, that take this show to another level. But, a few things I loved were:

Sol in the first two episodes - absolutely the kindest, loveliest human being. He will steal your heart.

The Stranger reveal - devastating as we’re still reeling from the murder of Jecki. And the Stranger’s catty comment about Sol bringing a child to a fight that eventually led to her death, gutwrenching. 

The two-part episode directed by Kogonada. It’s divided into episodes 3 and 7, and my word, they are so perfectly directed to give you two completely different storylines. Truly brilliant work. 

Ron: I’m not sure if it counts as a favourite moment but it’s the moment I knew this show would be so much better than I had hoped. When Master Indara was killed. I was sorry to see the end of her but her demise signalled that nothing was as it seemed. I knew I was going to love this show from that very moment.

Mon: Fascinating. Expect the unexpected with this one.

Ron: Other favourite moments would be every time Yord and Jecki were in a scene together. You could see how much they hated each other’s guts. Hilarious. That dynamic would have been a joy to see more of. But we are getting a YA novel, which I’m going to nab the moment I see it.

Ron: So, I mean, I don’t mean to be horny on main here, but the Stranger dipping into the pool while Osha is watching. That’s a universal favourite moment, right? I said it so you don’t have to. But we’re all thinking it.

Mon: You’re hilarious. But you’re not wrong. 

Ron: Would I be cheating if I said all of the finale? Because the entire finale is a favourite of mine. Every single second is incredible, unexpected, and a gut-punch. Love it to the moon and back.

Mon: That’s high praise coming from you. 

Ron: It had everything! Sol’s death, the lightsaber bleeding, the sisters coming together and then deciding to part ways. Vernestra being the worst and putting all the blame on Sol. And we haven’t even mentioned David Harewood’s Senator Rayencourt, who was taking the Jedi to task about their mysterious ways. That scene between the Senator and Vernestra was such an indictment of the Jedi way. I didn’t expect it and I was honestly, blown away by the tension. Also, David Harewood owns every scene he’s in.

Mon: I’m not the biggest fan of Vernestra, but she’s got a good PR brain. Can’t fault that woman’s crisis communications abilities, even if it means throwing her dead friend under the bus. 

What we would have loved to see in a season 2

Mon: Had we got a second season, I would have loved to see more of the Jedi. Maybe some actual investigations and mysteries? I would also have loved to see them veer away from a boring hetero romance between the Stranger and Osha – because, I could not see that, they had no chemistry. Plus he’s toxic and she’s lost – we’ve seen this dynamic before, in the Reylo stuff. That’s a no for me. 

I think the show would have actually been gay if we’d got a second season, as well. But so much for that. 

Ron: A second season would have seen Rayencourt tearing the Jedi to shreds on the senate floor. And then he would mysteriously disappear and it would somehow be Sol’s fault. 

Mon: Yes. Yes. I see it. 

Ron: Also, Master Yoda would be implicated in the cover-up, which would explain why he’s been straight up lying to the Jedi for another 100 years.

Mon: Can you imagine having to remember this many details for 100 years? I’m pretty sure Yoda just deleted this hiccup in his history. 

Ron: Yeah, you’re probably not wrong. 50 years from now he’s like, Vernestra who? What is this Sith you speak of?

Mon: Don’t we know it!

Ron: Okay, I think we lightened the mood, despite the crushing disappointment we feel. I’m going to be happy that we got one season. We got incredible, multi-dimensional characters who made us feel all the emotions and whom we’re going to miss. I can’t remember the last time I fell so instantly in love with new characters. I’m so glad The Acolyte exists and that we got to see it. Bring on the extended universe literature.

Mon: The Acolyte is my favourite live-action Star Wars show, so yeah, this sucks. But at least we have this one season, and hopefully some tie-ins that we can enjoy.

[mamawasatesttube]

28 with timkon :3c?

28. "No one ever cared about me like you."

"I don't think I ever thanked you."

Tim pauses. Next to him, Kon lies on his back, gazing pensively up at the ceiling; it's darker here in the farmhouse than it ever gets in Gotham, but the moonlight spilling through the window paints his face in silver. His hair, still damp from his shower, is a moonlit halo around his head.

"For what?" Tim asks, when it becomes clear Kon's waiting for him to respond. He shifts, rolling onto his side and propping his head up on one hand to give Kon his full attention.

A moment passes.

Tim studies him, in the quiet. It's dark enough he can make out the faint glow of Kon's eyes, normally invisible in daylight. He's relaxed, lying with one knee up and one arm folded back under his head. The other hand drums an idle rhythm on top of the quilt. His face doesn't look sad or upset; just thoughtful.

"Eh, you know." Kon shrugs. "Being my friend, even back when I was an obnoxious little shit."

You're still an obnoxious little shit, Tim almost says, but holds his tongue. This isn't the moment for teasing.

"You don't need to thank me for that," he says instead, opting for a wry smile. He pulls one hand out from under the quilt, lays it on top of Kon's. "I mean, I was a pretentious little fuck, and you still chose to be my friend, too."

"Yeah, but—" Kon blows out a tiny breath through his nose. Tim can't help but smile. "More than just that. I didn't... I wasn't... Man, this is gonna sound so cheesy, but I mean it. Like, you guys were so... No one ever cared about me like you."

The bed creaks a little as he rolls onto his side, too. He takes Tim's hand, holds it between both of his. Smiles, achingly earnest, and definitely hears the way Tim's heart skips a beat in response.

"And you still do," Kon continues, his voice soft and overflowing with warmth. "You care about me in a way I just—I can't hardly wrap my mind around it sometimes, Tim, how much you..."

He trails off, still cradling Tim's hand like it's something delicate, something precious. The adoration written across his face is so blatant that Tim's cheeks heat, and he squirms a little, wriggling down into the sheets until the quilt covers his face up to his eyes, and peeps up at Kon.

It's fucked up that Kon can be so gorgeous in the moonlight and gaze at him so lovingly. How's he supposed to handle that? He's only been officially dating the guy for a week (even if it's unofficially been, uh... longer than that)! He can't take this all at once!

"I, um." He curls his fingers around Kon's palm. "I mean, it's... not like it's hard to love you." His face gets even hotter. "It's actually, uh, really, really easy. Because you're, well... you."

An invisible net winds around his back and tugs him closer to Kon, and then Kon's arms wrap around him, warm and secure. Tim snuggles into his chest, still blushing furiously, and drapes his arm over Kon's waist.

"You're cute when you get flustered about experiencing and expressing your feelings like a normal person," Kon tells him, smiling against his brow.

Tim rolls his eyes. "Pot, kettle. As if you have room to call me repressed."

That gets a laugh out of Kon—that'll be ten points to Tim, thank you very much, fuck yeah. "You're still worse than me."

"Am not."

"Are too!"

"Am not."

"You so are!"

"At least I admit I'm fucked up about stuff, I just don't feel like going into it!" Tim pokes him in the chest. "You just go 'teehee I can't be traumatized if I just don't think about it ever' and pretend you're fine!"

"I do not say teehee!" Kon sounds indignant.

Tim looks up at him incredulously. "That's the part you're hung up on? Seriously?"

For a moment, they just stare at each other in the moonlight. The spell breaks after a heartbeat, and then they're both laughing, voices soft in the night. Tim shakes his head, presses a kiss to Kon's jaw, and sighs.

"And you were thanking me for loving you," he mutters in disbelief. "God."

Kon kisses the bridge of his nose. "I still stand by that. I'm grateful."

"Of course you are," Tim sighs, and simply resolves to hold him a little tighter.

[thunder-point]

I am THINKING about your hybrid au Cole!!!! And I have one question!!!!! WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST TIME PEEM EVER PURRED IN PHUM'S ARMS COLE!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID THAT GO DOWN IN THIS UNIVERSE? DID PHUM LOSE HIS ENTIRE MIND?? DID PEEM BLACK OUT FROM EMBARRASSMENT BECAUSE HE HADN'T EVEN REALISED HE COULD PURR FOR PHUM!!!!! COLE GIVE ME THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH OR GIVE ME ANSWERS!!!!!!

OH I HAVE SOME ANSWERS cos i thought about it quite a lot thank you cat hybrid peem my beloved

Honestly it's nothing monumental, but I will ramble a bit about it either way:

Purring shows a great deal of emotion, so many, especially cat hybrids, don't do it so freely, you get me?

But Peem does. A purr shows comfort, contentment, it reflects love. His family and friends are used to Peem purring quietly in his throat at the oddest of times when he's with them. When he and Q wearily tease each other late at night while they work on their paintings. When he helps with mom in the kitchen, or tends with his dad in the gardens, or helps Auntie at the cafe. At the gatherings in his backyard, if there's a few seconds of silence you can just hear the faint purr as he sips from his cup, or when they're all cuddled in his bed - he always gets put in the middle because his friends find it soothing to fall asleep to it. Sometimes, even when he gets a good grade, he can't help but let out a soft, short-lived purr before he reigns it in. For him it's easy, it's a gesture of affection that he never felt the need to hide.

He doesn't purr around Phum at all in those first weeks. Phum keeps him in constant tension, in confusion, fur fluffed up and ears alert. The first time he does purr because of Phum is after their first kiss. When he's alone on the steps, giddy and quivery. He nuzzles the plushie Phum won for him and lets out the gentlest purr and oh.

It's funny because it's then that he realizes just how quickly Phum can actually make him purr, and he resolves to actually hold it in in the next few months. Not show the annoying, distracting asshole that Peem is happy around him.

Not that it works too well.

And listen LISTEN ALAN Phum never thought he'd be that attracted to what old tales say should be his natural enemy, but he finds Peem so achingly pretty and goddamn charming. He has many things he adores.

The delicate arch of Peem's tail, the obvious irritation that makes the tip do a jerky back and forth. The soft flutter of his ears when he's surprised, flustered; the way he pins them back when they bicker. The peek of his small fangs when he parts his lips in concentration. The gentleness of his clawed hands despite their sharpness. Even the literal hiss in Peem's tone when he's upset does things to him.

But nothing beats the first time Peem purred for him. It wasn't a grand moment. Nothing earth-shattering. It happened the first time Phum thanked Peem, and told him he's had fun with them all, all happy and airy. Peem's chest bloomed with a sandy kind of surprise that warmed all over, melting like molten glass and the pleased purr got out before he could do anything to stop it.

Phum's ears perk up straighter than ever, keen, and his brown eyes go doe-like as he takes a step closer, voice overwhelmingly soft, "Did you just-"

Peem's tail jerks wildly under his shirt, ears going flat and he sputters before saying loudly. "I'm glad you had fun! That's amazing, that's-"

But Phum is still staring at him curiously, head cocking in that pup-like manner of his. Peem's voice wanes into something almost breathless because a wide palm reaches to press flat against his sternum, where the purr still rumbles subtly, nearly silent.

And then Phum's expression crumbles softly with a kind of longing that fills Peem with white shock. He takes back his warm touch with a sheepish shuffle of his feet, gives a small, grateful smile Peem's way.

Peem's purr explodes out of him again, making him flush and making Phum's ears go flat even if his tail goes wild and they stare at each with such round, startled eyes. But he just. Can't. Stop. Purring.

It suffices to say Phum realizes even faster that his gentle, genuine gestures towards Peem grant him purrs. And not much later, Peem realizes just how pliant Phum gets from them, all liquid soft and needy. The first time Phum lunges to nuzzle at his rumbling throat he straight up whines like a sad puppy when Peem's purr shatters with his startled giggle.

(Peem may have a weakness for Phum's hushed, pleading whines as well, but that's another thing entirely)

*clears throat* yep, that's. that's all. i don't even know if i put it in proper words I'm just very in love with these dorks

(also very small detail but sometimes peem stays overnight at the faculty to paint, phone propped on the easel on speaker so phum can hear his lazy purrs until he falls asleep. ok good bye)

[sugar-omi]

not both of us in our workaholic eras omg... i have like a BILLION discussion forum posts to respond to LMFAO, but we'll get through this together... i'll even ward off your cat for you even though i can never say no to a sweet kitty...

on the topic of ward, though, seeing you respond to one of my long since forgotten swiftie asks has brought me back to my roots. and since then my music taste has branched out a bit, and i feel it's fitting to reintroduce my constant "haha this song is so baxter" agenda and truly reconnect with who i once was (the swiftie asker...)

anyways! if you haven't listened to "never love an anchor" by the crane wives yet? PLEASE DO BECAUSE THE LYRICS ARE SO ACHINGLY BAXTER THAT I KIND OF FEEL LIKE HE WAS INSPIRED BY THAT SONG. or that song was inspired by him? who knows... only kab...

*link

I HAVEEE HEARD THAT!! omg it is so baxter... the "these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever" YES YES YES THATS SUCH A GOOD REFERANCE FOR HOW HE THOUGHT HE WAS SOOO SMART LEAVING PEOPLE BEFORE THEY LEFT HIM

AND "but try as i might, i couldn't bring myself to hold you" AGAIN. A REFERANCE FOR YOUNG BAXTER BEING UNABLE TO LOVE MC BECAUSE OF ALL HIS INSECURITY AND FEAR

then "there is love that doesn't have a place to rest / but it would have buried you if it settled on your shoulders" is even better... because he knows if he had tried to love you then, he would've snuffed out the fire because his heart was heavier than his love, and his looming trauma was a large ship casting a shadow over the fishing boat you two wanted to call a relationship...

and the last verses... "there are times when i still wonder about you" BAXTER HOLDING ONTO THE SOUVINER HE GOT IN SUNSET BIRD (i think this is so much stronger if your mc picked a gift out for him)

"and you'll never see the reasons i had / for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you" BAXTER KNOWING THAT HE WAS TOO FUCKED UP TO LOVE YOU BACK THEN AND FORCING YOU AWAY EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE UPSET, MAYBE EVEN CRYING, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ASKING HIM TO STAY....

"i am selfish, i am broken, i am cruel / i am all the things they might have said to you" BAXTER FUCKING???? CALLING HIMSELF SUCH MEAN THINGS THAT YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT HAVE SAID ABOUT HIM AFTER HE LEFT?????

all of this is so baxter... i can reference every line back to him.... every fucking word has baxter alexander ward written deep into it... im going to lose my mind....

"so, i did the only thing that i could / and severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor" PLEASE. MY HEART IS ON THE FLOOR. AND THE LINES AFTER "do you ever think of me and my two hands?" I WILL LITERALLY RIP MY HAIR OUT. THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT SONG TO INSERT INTO A FIC???? please. i will sob.

[spamhamandeggs]

After Dinner Date Vignette

“Oh, wow, thank you for inviting me over for dinner again. I can’t believe you made all this wonderful food! I’m so full.”

It’s an understatement. My shirt is straining to hold in my packed belly. I’m trying to hide it under the table so you can't see my skin showing between the buttons.

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it!” you say cheerfully. “Would you like some dessert?”

“Oh, no, I can’t,” I say, almost short of breath.

“Well you can take some home for later if you like.”

I can’t believe you always make so much food for me. I swear my clothes are getting tighter since we started having dinner.

“Oh, that’s alright, you’re always so generous to me! Why don’t you let me help you clean up?” I get up, completely forgetting about the strain on my shirt buttons. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary!” you coo.

I pick up a stack of dirty dishes.

You continue, “I just really enjoy having you over to eat my cooking.”

I smile at you and then turn. And my belly, my achingly full belly, so engorged after dinner, swings over the table. It manages to catch a half-full serving dish.

CRASH!

I’m so mortified. I look up at you sheepishly. I can feel my face burning red with embarrassment.

“OhmygawdI’msosorry!” I blurt out.

I am confused. You don’t look upset. You just smile and bite your lip.

“You’re not upset?”

You shake your head no, still smiling. I relax and forget to stop sucking in my gut.

POP!

A button flies off my shirt. I go red in the face again.

[scarletslippers]

Nace Countdown to Christmas - Day 12

(From this post of relationship milestone prompts)

On AO3

first time making up

Ace is already up when she makes her way downstairs, lured in by the smell of pancakes. It feels such a mirror to last night that it makes her pause, but she swallows her pride and again sits at the table. “I’m sorry, Ace. I know you’re mad that I charged into danger and put myself at risk, and I—”

“I’m not mad at you,” Ace interrupts, laying a plate of pancakes on the table. 

“You’re—what?”

“I’m not mad at you. Well. I mean, I am mad at you, but not for those reasons.” He busies himself with opening the first aid kit while he talks, reaching to carefully peel the old bandage from her cheek. “I’m upset that you’re hurt, obviously, and frustrated because I felt like I got left out of your trust.” 

“Ace, you know I—”

“I know you trust me, I do. But when you fly into situations like it’s just you? Like you’re it? That hurts. But most of all, I was just scared. I was really scared that you were out there alone, hurt, and without back-up, and” he tilts her face up to get a better look at the gash across her cheek, “I was right.”

Nancy forces herself to look at him, no matter how easy it would be to shut her eyes against his scrutiny while he bandages her up. The corners of his mouth are set as he works, and she sees every layer in his honest eyes. No matter how many times she’s done this, he’s always met her with such intense vulnerability. It’s time for her to do the same. 

“You know, my dad said once, that when I do dangerous things, I take everyone who loves me with me. And I sort of knew what he meant, but I feel like it’s a lesson I’m learning all over again with you. I run, you know that.”

“I do.” 

“And because I run, I don’t expect to be loved with this level of…” she trails off, searching for the words to explain all that Ace is. “I don’t expect to be loved like this. At least not for long.” Nancy blinks back the tears, trying to keep them from escaping down her cheeks and ruining Ace’s handiwork. 

Still, she doesn’t think she’d be able to have this conversation if Ace wasn’t touching her face. His thumb strokes steadily along her cheek, grounding her. “So I hold you at arms-length sometimes, to protect myself. I know it hurts you but—” Nancy’s voice drops to a whisper. “What if I show you all of me and you don’t like it?” 

“Nancy,” Ace says softly, achingly, like her words have hurt him even more than this argument. He gathers her face in his hands, gentle but firm. “That is never going to happen.”

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

OFMD 2.01-2.03 thoughts!

Spoilers aplenty!

I've only watched the episodes the once so far so I'm sure I'm gonna forget a lot of stuff, but I can contain myself no longer, and must speak!

Oh man, I am SO EXCITED. I couldn't sleep because trying to go to bed with this many fictional feelios crackling away inside of me was just impossible, like I'd chugged a crazy amount of caffeine. This is also exactly how I felt the night that 1.09 and 1.10 aired, so it felt so fitting. (Ironically, I'm writing this before I have my caffeine today because I can wait no longer, so it might make no sense. But I have to try!)

I've watched season one soooooo many times -- like, every episode is just completely scored upon my psyche, I basically have the whole thing memorized -- so it felt so WILD to finally be getting MORE and it was REAL! This also reminded me of how the season one finale was perhaps the most upset I've ever been about television, outside of unjust character deaths, HIMYM, etc. -- like, upset in a way where it was narratively thrilling to be so upset, for a change! But the emotional distress of that ending obviously settled down a bit to me once I'd watched the episode for the zillionth time and just really got used to what happened to Ed. That initial shock wore off. So picking up where that episode left off and spending these episodes really bearing witness to him still being in that place was SO VISCERALLY UPSETTING AND WILD AND GREAT!!!!!! Oh my God, Taika Waititi. Aaaaaacting!!!!

Everything just being darker, richer, so unhinged was really thrilling -- we can't really go back to the sort of affable placidity of a lot of season one, or at least not right now, and it just felt really appropriate for where the story is and like a really natural growth to the tone. I think it also really had a sense of exuberance powered by how lovingly received season one was, which just felt great to watch.

The gorgeous New Zealand landscapes, oh my God!!!! And how fitting it feels, now that it's not Stede playing at pirates so much as everything being Really God Damn Real, that the physical world has expanded so much around them and there's so much more of a sense of sublime natural beauty.

STEDE WAS A MERMAN!!!!!! sorry, getting ahead of myself here. But my God, I am so obsessed with the fact that they just went for that moment. It's camp! It's achingly beautiful! It's The Shape of Water, it's Splash, it's Zoolander, it's a reverse Killing Eve that my soul sorely needed! Kate Bush was there! They almost kissed under the water! ED'S LOVE FOR STEDE INTERRUPTED HIS DESIRE TO DIE! AUGHHHHHH.

I'm really, really sad that my internet gave out right in the middle of that sequence. I just feel so bummed that I'll never experience it for the first time the way David Jenkins & Co. intended because technology betrayed me! I will never have known the emotional build of that moment the way it was meant to be seen. 😢 But oh well! I'm dealing with it! I'm being so brave! (I'm always extremely weird about wanting fiction to have the exact impact on me that the creators strove for it to, and it really bothers me when it gets interrupted somehow. But at least, you know, it was just THIS, the show and romance I currently care most about in the WORLD!)

Anyway: the handholding and how it mirrors Ed putting his hand over Stede's and that close-up in 1.04! YES! What a shot to end the episode on, sob sob sob!

I also loved the two close-ups of Ed's eyes, at the start of the wedding rampage and then when he wakes up. Parallels! Yesss!!!

I know we all kinda expected it to happen for the whole hiatus, but that doesn't diminish at all the pure joy and unhingedness of Stede's total love for Ed never wavering even at the news that Ed's rampaging his way across the high seas in a state of total derangement. If that's a dealbreaker, then that's not love! They made him look like a GHOUL!

I really liked the tension between Stede and Lucius because that was something I hadn't really thought to expect. And Stede giving Lucius jaded life advice! Yes!

Sidenote: Lucius, alive? Who could have possibly seen it coming??? (Also, his reunion with Pete, 🥹🥹🥹!)

I also just generally loved getting to see the crew again and all of their antics together figuring out their circumstances. I missed you all so much!!!

MORE LADIES YESSSSS! I love Archie!!!!! I love Zheng!!!! I love Auntie!!!!! And I loved getting to see Spanish Jackie living her best life again! Such a joy to have so many hilarious badass women around. I am living for them all.

The romantic quadrangle stuff popping up with Olu and Jim was great fun on all sides (even if I had to watch makeouts while Jim was holding a recently severed leg; please, set aside the leg!), and I also loved how Jim told Olu about it right away and just the sweet vibes between them in their reunion scene, aww. Looking forward to seeing whatever happens there.

In particular, Zheng crushing on Olu was so cute and like, who can blame her?? History's greatest pirate: she's just like us! Omg, what an enemy for them to have now.

Also, Jim doing the voices for Fang FOREVER!!!!! Such a sweet moment! And Jim's speech about how sweet life on The Revenge used to be and how happy they all were together absolutely tore my heart out. Because yeah!!! I feel like we the audience members were part of that crew too!!! WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!

I had vowed to hate Izzy forever, I held steadfast to my vow for all those hiatus months, and then these three episodes were like, "Ha ha, yeah right!" Magnificently played, ya bastards!!! You got me! I especially loved when he said to Stede that the two of them made Ed into what he became; that was so interesting and I'm really curious to see how Stede and Izzy's dynamic grows. Iz, I am so sorry about your many toes and then your leg. Wishing you the coolest peg leg.

Random sidenote: when Auntie was like, "Buttons is a sea witch contained in the body of a mortal man," I was 100% like ... That makes so much sense, actually??? I, for one, am a believer. Is this why you can speak seagull, sir/sea witch?

The whole sequence with Ed and Dream Hornigold in episode 3 was so good, aughhhhh! And THE RETURN OF JEFF. I love how on some level Ed just wants to work in the hospitality industry. Let! Him! And! Stede! Retire! And! Open! Their! Inn! Slash! Snakery! Snackery!

I am so excited that we have post-credits episode tags now. As if this show could get any more exquisite. IT DID. Now there's always just a lil' nibble more!

I love how, just like in season one, we got our Ed/Stede-less time out of the way quick by having the first three eps all air together. And now, let us sail perilously further into feelings land!

I have so much more to say but I'm so tired and I need black tea. I'm sure I'll be back later today with a zillion more belated thoughts! PEACE! 🧜‍♂️

Also, just a few Cinematic New Zealand Beach Vibes notes -- the opening dream sequence had me like, "Xena and Gabrielle at the end of 'The Bitter Suite'!"* and Ed waking up in beach purgatory had me like, "THE PIANO!" I just had to share. Idk why. Have I mentioned how happy I am that season two gets to be in New Zealand??

*Idk if this is in any way deliberate, but I firmly maintain that Ed/Stede has a lotta roots in Xena/Gabrielle. Like, if you ever feel like the universe simply can't give you enough Ed/Stede (understandable), then you should watch Xena for a lot of similar shippy emotional thrills. OFMD had better give us a nicer ending, tho. (Today I learned from a D. Jenks interview that Blackbeard historically got beheaded!!)

Okay, time to go stare at a million gifsets.

[mywingsareonwheels]

Some things that Morse doesn't know about Thursday in s9 of Endeavour (and may in fact never find out).

(Spoilers behind the cut, also CW references to child abuse, alcoholism, violence, and a mention of elder abuse.)

that Thursday taking the job in Carshall was Bright's idea, not Thursday's, and that Thursday needed to be talked into it by Bright specifically because he knew he'd be leaving Morse behind and was unhappy about this for both their sakes. (Honestly I adore Bright and I think he was right to do this, and right in gently encouraging Thursday in s8 to let Morse move on and grow away from them all, but it is still an important distinction!)

that Thursday missed him achingly when he was away (although I think that scene late in 9.1 makes it clear that Thursday would have told him if he'd thought Morse could cope with it... ;-)).

that Sam had a dishonorable discharge, which the family are covering up not because they're ashamed of him, but because they want to protect him.

the full extent of how unwell Sam is and how much this is manifesting in behavioural problems (although Morse has noticed a fair amount of this and knows something is extremely up, but the full degree of it, and how badly it's affecting the whole family? I don't know). Thus, the extent of exactly how desperately worried Thursday is.

that Thursday is a child abuse survivor, specifically of physical abuse from an alcoholic, and that this is his first time in adulthood sharing his home with an angry alcoholic who is (now Thursday is older and Sam in something like his prime, alcohol aside) physically stronger than he is.

(the punch at Strange's stag do is so much more upsetting in that context, I note, as is Thursday's instinctive placation. There's paternal kindness and loyalty and generosity in that moment, but I think there's an old trauma reaction too; it read to me awfully like an emotional flashback. It is extremely fortunate that Sam is very decent indeed deep down, seems shocked by his own action, and is doing better by the end of the episode. Sam is one of two men (the other being Morse) that I would not trust Thursday to even try to defend himself against.)

that Thursday finally gave into Lott's blackmail over Blenheim Vale at the point that Morse's life was threatened. When he talks about the pressures via "family"... he meant Morse, not just Win, Joan, Sam, Charlie, and (arguably) Strange. There were a range of threats, but that seems to have been the final straw, especially as it was the most explicit.

the phone call Thursday got from Ronnie Box trying to encourage him to get out of the situation (and Thursday refusing; he may have taken a while to talk into the new Blenheim Vale investigation but he wasn't going to abandon it once committed until it was that or let people he loved get killed; when the threat was only against himself, nah, nothing doing).

that Lott tried to kill Charlie, and Thursday still doesn't know where Charlie is; what Charlie's done to Thursday is horrible but still, yikes.

that Thursday was dreadfully worried about Morse at the wedding (that's Word of Roger, rather than in the script, mind you, but it would be extremely out of character if he hadn't been).

Morse does go through an awful lot in series 9, but the sheer fricking trauma conga line of Thursday's life in that series, all while he's trying to pretend everything's just fine... ouch.

None of it justifies Thursday's serious fuck-ups and wrongs in 9.3 of course! But I think it's absolutely crucial not to see Thursday entirely through Morse's eyes at any point in s9, because there's such a lot that Morse doesn't know, and for the first time Morse is liable to be far too harsh on his old mentor, not too gentle on him. Thursday is not okay at any point in series 9, and seems to spend the whole of 9.3 breaking down.

(I hope it goes without saying that I am very much of the opinion that Thursday should have told Morse at least some of all this!! But I find it very understandable that he didn't, especially as mostly he wasn't protecting himself, but Sam. Gaaaaah it's all so tragic!)

(Yep, I know I keep saying this, but I actually would find it deeply out of character for both Shaun Evans' Morse and John Thaw's Morse to reject Thursday and even his memory entirely for what happened. Even with the v limited data he knows. Protecting him by never talking about him to anybody while sharing a detailed (if perhaps coded) correspondence with him for the rest of the time they're both alive? Infinitely more likely. And can't you just see Thaw's Morse being that leeetle bit silently smug about still being closer to Strange's father-in-law (or possibly ex-father-in-law) than he is. ;-) )

[cryptidinspace]

Dangerous Waters, Chapter 8

Warnings for discussions of fatal vore, mild innuendo and dark/upsetting themes revolving around vore in general? I guess? ---------

Lacey drifted upside down through the hallway, tail flicking gently. They gazed up at the ceiling above them, noting the old carvings etched across the stone. Just how old was this building? The Oceans United Initiative had only been announced last year. The tapestries on the wall looked old too, and the whole campus felt more like a museum mixed with a labyrinth, than a school. 

It only added to the uneasy feeling in their chest. Their mother had always told them the danger of Sea Monsters. Their little town had been safe for a long while, but danger always lurked out there, just outside the continental shelf. The threat was a distant one. Big scary monsters that would eat you. The words had no real weight to them, until now. 

But the monsters weren’t just monsters. Perhaps that was what paralyzed them, made them feel sick to their stomach. The monsters spoke, they had feelings, they were…people. Despite the size difference, their minds were equals. And yet, the sea monsters would eat them. Treating them like food. Murder, but not even that. Spearing a fish for dinner wasn’t murder. It was only the use of a resource. What did Atlantic feel? Did he feel like…food? Did he come to understand his place in the universe, in the end? What would it be like, to…accept such a thing? 

They had come to a halt now, floating like a corpse near the top of the hall, without even realizing. Their breath was shallow, while their hands shook uncontrollably. We’re going to die. And we don’t even get to die like people. 

“Lacey…?” A soft voice from below caught their attention, and Lacey flinched, before turning slowly to look. Rosia sat beneath them, peering out the door of their shared room. Her eyes looked tired, for once, devoid of the energy Lacey had come to expect. “Are you okay?” Her face scrunched up, as if she had suddenly realized what a stupid question that was. 

Lacey stared at her from above. She had thought Rosia to be innocent, if only because of her size. But maybe she’d want to drink a mer’s blood, or tear them apart first. “Rosia…am I food to you?” 

The girl froze, eyes widening. Her mouth hung open, and for once, she seemed truly at a loss for words. The silence stretched, as Lacey stared her down, too exhausted to be afraid now. 

“Well, no.” Her voice was soft, as she finally spoke. “Come in, okay? Carcharias is in class right now. Let’s talk.” 

Lacey followed her in silently. They took in the room once more- a seaweed-woven hammock, massive and full of patchy pillows, hung on one side. In a hollowed out cubby on the wall, Lacey and Rosia’s hammocks hung across from the other. Little bundles of coral in pots adorned Rosia’s side of the room, along with a woven shark plush. It was all so achingly similar, positively singing with humanity. And yet, her people did such inhumane things. How could someone so paradoxical exist? 

Rosia drifted down to sit on the floor, leaning against the stone wall. Her tail coiled into a spiral, the pink fins fanning out around her. She grabbed the shark plush too, hugging it to her chest. Still silent, Lacey sank into the hammock. 

“I know this must be confusing for you. I’ve thought a lot about Mers and Sirens before, you know. I can never know exactly how it feels, but I know what it is to feel afraid. It’s obvious that I’m smaller than just about every Sea Monster. I never knew my father, but…some people say he might have been a merman.” Lacey’s eyes widened. “I always tell people it’s a mutation…I guess it might be. But rumors say my mother got with a merman. She always denies it, but she won’t tell me anything about him either…” She swallowed hard, her eyes reddening slightly with unseen tears. “Some Sea Monsters are nomadic. But I grew up in a city. When I was little, some other kids thought they could do whatever they wanted with me. They’d eat me, without even asking. I was always too tiny to fight back. The first time it happened, I was so scared…I knew that older kids did it all the time, and I knew I wouldn’t die, but that didn’t help much. It was terrifying. I felt so helpless. I didn’t know when they would even let me out.” Her eyes had grown distant, and her face slightly blank. 

“...I got used to it, though. I started agreeing a lot more. I didn’t always enjoy it, but I felt like I had a bit more control, yknow? It’s not all bad, but…aha. I’m getting off track.” Lacey bowed their head, unable to find the words. “I can’t imagine how it must feel to be a Mer. To be around all these Sea Monsters, to go against everything you’ve ever heard about them, and try to trust them. And then, to be let down. You must feel trapped.”

Lacey stared through the threads of the hammock, at a loss for words. For Rosia to be treated that way, by her own kind…or half her own kind, if the rumors were true. Does that mean all Sea Monsters are really dangerous? “I never met Sea Monsters before. I only heard stories about them. I wasn’t even sure it was real…Irridesse was so confident that she could handle them, that she’d show our hometown that they don’t need to be afraid. And somehow, she’s still determined. I don’t know how she does it…but I’m nothing without her.” They were surprised by the sudden venom in their voice. Not directed at Irridesse, but pure self loathing and despair. “But I’m so scared, too. And what if…what if I am just…just food?? In the grand scheme of things-” They felt their hands begin to shake again. “What if that’s all my life has culminated in?” 

“Lacey!” Rosia sounded horrified, and Lacey looked up, red in the face. The girl sprung up, darting over to hold out her hands. “Sea Monster or Merperson, whatever you are. You are who you are. Other people might see me as a mere stomach-warmer. It’s…not what I want. But there’s nothing I can do about them. I try to enjoy it when I can…but it doesn’t define me.” She glanced around for a moment, before picking up the stuffed shark. It was made of some kind of grey-blue fur, woven together in strips, with shimmering alabaster buttons for eyes. “I made this. I really like making plushes like this…I have a ton back home.” She looked away, suddenly flustered, before pressing the shark into Lacey’s arms. They took it, pressing their palms sinking slowly into the soft fur. It was already warm, and smelled faintly of sweet spices. Just like Rosia did. “I’m an artist. I’m a connoisseur of Giant-squid-ink beer.” She chuckled to herself. “And I like buying pretty hairclips. All of those are parts of me. Being a prey, as some would say, is a part of me too. But it’s not the only part that matters.” 

“Right…that’s…comforting. I think.” Lacey gave the shark a squeeze. Rosia’s words were reassuring, in a slightly unsettling way. But it would have to do for now. “But I don’t want to die. You must have an opinion on Sea Monster’s eating Mers…I mean, it’s common, right?” 

“Yeah…sorta? For whatever reason, I live just fine off of fish. But other Sea Monsters, if they go without eating humanoids for too long, they start losing their mind and biting themselves obsessively…I was taught that it’s because Sea Monster brains require proteins from other humanoids to function correctly. But…” She jerked her head toward the other side of the room. Carcharias’s side. “He’s unusual. I doubt he’s mixed with another species, by the look of him. He wasn’t raised in a city like me, or a normal pack like most Sea Monsters. But…he hasn’t lost his mind, I think?” She sighed, shaking her head. “Growing up, we were told that life doesn’t end with death. Life is…a resource, of sorts. When someone dies naturally and is left to the sands, their life is over. If they get eaten, that life is sort of…absorbed, into another. Life continues, in another form. But I doubt those lives are still sentient. They are an unwilling part of a whole, over which they have no control. So it’s…not…great. I guess, I tried not to think about it.” She pulled away, the guilt clear in her voice. “I never had any reason to go on hunts, so I never saw it happen. It didn’t feel like any of my business, at the time.” 

The two sat in silence, both staring into the distance, thinking. “It’s fine. I don’t think I’m mad at you.” Lacey finally mumbled, leaning out of the hammock to take Rosia’s hand in their own. “Neither of us really understood the other. I don’t have an answer to fix all this…I don’t think anyone does.” 

Rosia nodded. “I’m sorry. I wish I had a better answer for you.” 

“It’s…fine.” Was it? Lacey couldn’t quite tell yet. 

Rosia seemed to pick up on the tired look in their eyes, and she backed away. “Get some sleep, okay? I’ll wake you up if anyone comes to eat us.” She paused, before making a face and forcing a laugh. “That’s a joke. Sorry.”

As Lacey burrowed into their blankets, attempting to rest, (and completely forgetting their original objective) Irridesse darted from door to door in a distant hallway. It was lined with offices, a rather high-arching tunnel full of too-bright glowfish. Portholes overhead let in the distant blue glow of the open sea…it was still early, but hopefully not too early. 

Professor Coral had to be up by now. Though Irridesse had forgotten to check her office hours, it hardly mattered. If Coral wasn’t in her office, she’d hunt her down anyway. 

Luckily, her office door wasn’t hard to find. It had her name painted on it in loopy letters, bright green. Little seastars and clamshells decorated the stone slab as well-as opposed to the rest, which were awfully dreary. After pausing a moment to find a clear space, Irridesse straightened up and gave a sharp knock. 

There was a muffled yawn, followed by, “Coming, coming!” Something rustled, before the door swung open. Coral’s face, which looked tired, brightened suddenly at the sight of her student. “It’s you! Come on in, er…Miss Azraq?” 

“Irridesse, is fine.” She hurried in, glancing around the cramped room. More important than all the glitzy decorations, one wall was covered in anatomy posters. Several of them looked to be sea monsters. “I’ll get right to the point-” Her brain spun, coming up with a plan on the fly. “I want to learn more about Sea Monsters. I just feel so unsafe, after what happened to Atlantic…” She did her best impression of worry. “Like…which ones should I avoid? Who’s more likely to eat me?” 

“Hm…” Coral sat behind her desk, which was little more than a rickety wooden table. No real desk? “Interesting question. And, may I add, thank you for coming to me with this. That’s exactly what I’m here for.” She offered a warm smile, though Irridesse could still see how worn out she was. “It’s hard to say. The larger a creature is, the more it will need to eat to sustain itself. So it stands to reason, bigger Sea Monsters would be hungrier in general. However, most only need to digest a humanoid a couple times a month. It’s more of a…supplement, than a staple of their diet.” 

Irridesse arched one brow. It both impressed her, and disgusted her, that Coral could talk about this subject so calmly. “And they need it to stay alive?” 

“It’s more complicated than that!” A hint of actual excitement crept into Coral’s tone. “In terms of biology, there are certain chemicals in living humanoids that sea monsters require to stay healthy mentally. Without it, their minds will start to deteriorate. Sea Monsters also tend to derive large amounts of serotonin from just the taste and sensation of swallowing someone. Within their own groups, they’ll frequently incorporate devouring each other into daily routine! Although Sea Monsters also form vastly different cultures, as they usually live in small groups scattered throughout the ocean, so there are certainly variations. For some, it’s quite intimatel. Others, it’s used as a romantic gesture.” Irridesse couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief, and Coral chuckled. “It’s quite different, isn’t it? But for many, it’s simply friendly.”  

“Okay…” Though this wasn’t the information she needed, it was surprisingly interesting. Though I’ve learned some firsthand from Magna. “But…is there a plan for incorporating that here? That doesn’t involve more students dying?” 

“Of course there is! The last half-week of every month has no classes, allowing everyone to either visit home, or spend some time in the nearby cities, if they want.” Coral paused, and sighed heavily. “Though clearly, it hasn’t been working as we hoped. Someone lost control. Or perhaps, never meant to control themselves. The road to understanding is a rough one, but I had really hoped to prevent this.” 

“So, they’re going to expel the Sea Monster responsible for this?” Not before I find him, you won’t. And if you do, I’ll track him down anyway. “It would be a danger to us all, right?” 

“They haven’t told me who it was, and I’m not very familiar with the Sea Monster students yet.” She shrugged helplessly. 

“Ah…so…how long does, uh, digestion take?” It was often that Irridesse stuttered. But now, faced with such a grim circumstance, she was suddenly tripping over her words. She tried to imagine it…stuck within flesh walls, so close to the outside world, but utterly incapable of reaching it. His entire body, encased in someone else’s, as acid boiled away his scales. Gods…I hope it was at least quick. 

Coral folded her hands. “It depends on the ratio of sizes. A stomach will take longer to digest something that completely fills it. For something small, it could only take a few hours. A tighter fit might take several days.” Both fell into a dark silence, before Coral cleared her throat. “Most of the Sea Monsters here couldn’t reasonably consume more than a single humanoid at a time. And for some of them, their stomach would distend enough to make it noticeable for a while. However, it’s likely that Atlantic passed out from the pain within an hour. He…wouldn’t have suffered for long.” She shook her head, blinking tears from her eyes. “But it’s a horribly scary way to go.” 

“Huh.” Through the fog of emotions, Irridesse could sense that something was off. “Roughly how many hours do you think it’s been, between Atlantic running out of the classroom, and his killer being found?” 

“That’s a very good question, Irridesse.” Coral leaned back in her chair, idly swishing her pink tailfins. “It was nine pm when the class started. And it only went for…I think thirty minutes, before Atlantic excused himself. And it was about…seven in the morning, when they announced it.” 

“Approximately eleven hours.” Irridesse leaned forward, her eyes locking on to Coral’s. “So, who do you think it was?” 

She tilted her head, apparently surprised at the sudden shift in the student’s attitude. “Well first of all, they can pause their digestion, allowing them to keep prey alive for longer. It’s a strange skill that most of them can learn pretty easily. But…in this case, they’d have no reason to do such a thing.” She seemed to hesitate for just a moment, before leaning back to grab a ledger from one of the shelves behind her. She thumbed through it for a moment, before pausing to read. 

“Well…I doubt it’s Espirit, the girl you were with earlier. Obviously, not Rosa. Honestly, the-” She stopped suddenly, looking sternly back at Irridesse. “I don’t know if any of these people have been kicked out, or if they’re innocent. But regardless, you should not try to confront them.” 

“I just want to avoid them! I swear!” Dammit. I shouldn’t have dropped the scared act. 

“Well…” She frowned, hesitating again, before finally sighing in defeat. “I suppose, it would be safest. I think, if I had to guess, it would be either Spiracles Roche, or Carcharias Rubrumpito. They’re the only ones big enough to digest someone Atlantic’s size that quickly. However, I’ve never met them, so I can’t be all that sure…” 

Lacey’s roommate. Shit. She wrung her hands, clutching them until her knuckles paled. “I haven’t heard the name Spiracles before…” 

“He goes by Spike.” Coral fixed her with another stony look. “Do not try to confront anyone about this. But…if you see either of them are still here, let me know, will you?” 

Irridesse nodded quickly-perhaps too quickly, and turned to grab the door-when suddenly, a booming voice echoed through the small room. Loud and thunderous, enough to shake her very bones. 

“Hey, this is, um, Carcharias? I’m one of the Sea Monsters, is this Coral Dulcette’s office?” Coral leaned back, with a flicker of trepidation on her face, before quickly replacing it with a confident smile. 

She darted to the door, shouldering Irridesse aside in the same move. Carcharias. Lacey’s face, eyes reddened and cheeks puffy, flashed in her face. What if the brute had already devoured them? What if Lacey were already in their stomach, screaming and begging for their life? Could I even do anything about it? A mix of terror and rage flooded her system. I will not let my friends get picked off one by one…I will not let us go down without a fight. 

Coral opened the door, and just beyond it, Irridesse could see the rather large sea monster. Two bright blue eyes, greyish skin, and long red hair that floated like blood around his shoulders. One pupil was practically the size of her whole head, and he seemed to be crammed awkwardly into the hallway outside. He smiled, showing a row of sharklike teeth. 

“Carcharias! What can I do for you?” Coral reached out, putting a steadying hand on Irridesse’s shoulder. It hardly helped. 

On the other side of the door, Carcharias’s heart pounded, heavy with guilt. He didn’t recognize the younger mermaid at Dulcette’s side, but just like he had with Atlantic, he could taste the savory-sweet terror and anger rolling off her. With all that had happened, he was still too distracted to eat, but now, his body protested. His face flushed, and he had to look away. Focus. Focus on what you came here for. Answers. 

“Hi, ma’am. Uh, maybe this is a strange question, but why do sea monsters…um…” He faltered, suddenly too overwhelmed with guilt to continue. Why do they…why do we…want to eat you? What a horrid question to ask someone. But who else should he ask? If there was a counselor for his kind, they still hadn’t made an appearance. And not only was Miss Dulcette a psychologist, she was apparently an expert on Sea Monsters. 

“Ahem.” A saw a flash of pity on Coral’s face, before she turned to the girl at her side. “Irridesse, is there anything else you wanted to discuss before you go?” A strange tension thickened the water between them, as Carcharias glanced between the two. 

“Right.” Irridesse, the mermaid, looked back at him. Her face was a mask of fury and disgust-had she been close to Atlantic? Did she think that he was the killer? She moved closer to the door, and even beneath her rage, her fear pierced through the disguise. 

I’m sorry…more sorry than you know. “Sorry, I don’t really fit here…” You can say that again. Both for this hallway, and this entire place. He pressed himself against the wall, gesturing for her to swim past him, albeit awkwardly close. 

She swam out into the hallway slowly, eyes wide and unblinking, darting from his mouth to his hands. Carcharias stayed perfectly still, eyes locked on hers, suddenly feeling rather small beneath her smoldering gaze. She turned away, as if to finally leave. 

But before Carcharias could even relax, she whipped back around, darting right into his face. He let out a yelp, thrashing his tail to pull away from her, only for his head to hit the opposite side of the corridor. He could see her up close now, every luminescent yellow scale, every icey-blue strand of hair. And he could practically taste her heartbeat on his tongue. His jaw clenched, and he turned his head away with a whimper. 

Irridesse stared down at him. For once, staring down at the monster. Somewhere behind them, Coral yelled her name, but she could barely hear the woman. Tension thundered in her blood, pent up from the last two days. She didn’t have much in this world. Materially, sure, she had plenty, but emotionally? There was only Lacey. The only one who hadn’t been scared off. They saw themselves as a coward, but Irridesse didn’t think so at all. And if he hurt them…

Anger had overtaken her instinctual fear. His grimace full of teeth was just beneath her, the literal jaws of death. And yet, she grabbed one eyelid as he turned away, squeezing his eyes shut. He was stronger than her, but her entire upper body could at least overpower one flimsy eyelid. She yanked one eye open, and leaned closer, until her face would take up his entire vision. 

“What are you doing??” Carcharias squealed. His arms jerked up, reaching to grab her and fling her away-only to stop. He couldn’t be violent. Not to a mermaid. What would that make him? Only the monster that everyone suspected him to be. She’s going to tear my fucking eye out!! Do something!  “Getoffgetoffgettoff-!!” 

“Where is Lacey. Where, is Atlantic?! I know you know something, you goddamn monster!” Her voice was shrill and manic, as she drew back her arm, about to throw a punch. Every muscle in Carcharias’s body tensed, bracing for what might be the loss of an entire eye-before Coral suddenly darted up to Irridesse. She grabbed the girl’s arm, dragging her away. 

“Irridesse! That is completely inappropriate. I know you’re scared, but…but you need to act like an adult!” The woman took a deep breath, balling her hands into fists, before backing away. “I’m sorry, Carcharias. Things are just very tense right now…she didn’t hurt you, did she?” 

“N-no ma’am, I’m fine.” His eyelid kind of hurt, but that was nothing serious. He sat up, still trembling slightly as he rubbed his eye. “I know…I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-” 

“Don’t be.” Her tone was sharp, and she shot Irridesse a look. The mermaid turned away, hunching her shoulders. “Irridesse, please go back to your dorm.” 

The girl hurried off, leaving Carcharias alone with Coral. She reached up to smooth down her messy ginger hair and readjust her glasses, round emerald-green frames. “Alright. Well. Now that we’ve handled that, what can I help you with?” He looked away, guilt returning as the terror of nearly being blinded slowly left him. “If I recall correctly, you were about to ask me a question?” 

“Yeah…see, I actually don’t eat humanoids? I’ve lived my whole life off of stuff like kelp…it’s just how my parents raised me.” He glanced over her shoulder, still unsure what had just happened. She had been shouting about Atlantic…but also Lacey. What does she think I did to Lacey? Wait, is Lacey dead too?? “And everyone else says they need to eat humanoids-like, mers, to live. But I don’t. So I was wondering, what’s up with that? Also, is Lacey okay…?” 

“Lacey…? I’m not sure who that is, but as far as I know, no other students have been reported missing.” Coral cleared her throat, before leaning back against the stoney wall. “As for your other question, I’m not sure. I’ve never encountered vegetarian Sea Monsters before.” She tilted her head, with a puzzled smile. “Frankly, young man, you’re quite the anomaly.” 

“So I’ve realized.” He sighed deeply, shoulders slumping. “But do you think, if I can do it, other people could too? Could other Sea Monsters go without humanoids, and be just fine?” 

“Hm…not in my experience.” Coral folded her arms, shaking her head sadly. “...Quite a while back, I knew a sea monster who tried that.” Her voice grew hushed, suddenly full of grief. “He was young, and fancied himself in love with a mermaid. She loved him back, but the Sea Monster had spent his whole life eating humans. The mermaid couldn’t bring herself to fully love someone so monstrous, and begged him to stop. He tried, and…after a few months, he couldn’t stop himself. He was so desperate, he beached himself on a coastline.” She shook her head slowly, as Carcharias’s eyes widened. “The lack of water would have killed him, if the vengeful humans hadn’t first. I don’t suppose I can blame them-he had lost all control by then-but I…well, it was horribly tragic.” She cleared her throat, looking away. “I have wondered if, perhaps, someone could be unaffected if they simply never started eating humanoids. Perhaps, once you get a taste for it, you can’t live without it. Until then, you’re free…if what you say is true, than I’d suggest you stay vegetarian. You’ll be one of the few who is free.” 

Carcharias stared at her for a moment, before looking back down at himself. It had sounded like an oddly personal story, hadn’t it? Was it about her? He hadn’t even considered that mermaids and Sea Monsters could have romantic feelings for each other. How would they even…not important! “I’m so sorry, Miss Dulcette.” 

“You say that a lot.” She sighed heavily, before turning back to him. “I’d like to think that, someday, I’ll find a way for all of us to coexist safely. But the solution hasn’t come to me yet. I’ll let you know when it does. For now…do your best, Carcharias.” 

“I’ll try…thank you.” He began squirming backward, slowly freeing himself from this narrow chamber. “Oh, wait. That girl…Irridesse? Is she okay?” 

Coral chuckled, pausing in the open door of her office. “I don’t think any of us are right now…but I dare say, you could have defended yourself there. No one would blame you.” 

I sure would blame me. “Ah…okay.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

Bambambam! Irridesse couldn’t stop her hand from shaking as she pounded her fist against the door. Lacey’s door. It opened a moment later, revealing a rather confusing girl in front of her. Her skin was a bright pink, marbled with silver-white, and strange pink fins grew from the sides of her head. She was no siren or mer, but she was barely taller than Irridesse herself. She blinked curiously, before stepping back. “Uh, hey…can I help you?” 

“Lacey. Are they here?” Irridesse leaned forward and craned her neck up. The room was almost laughably proportioned. It was a room fit for a giant, complete with a cubby-like “room” on the wall. There were even two different doors, one massive, and one tiny. Or rather, normal. And in one of the smaller beds, Irridesse could just see Lacey. They looked like they had just gotten up, and were squinting in confusion…at two strangers, hovering awkwardly nearby. “What is going on? I need to check on them.” 

“Irri…Rose, who is?” Lacey gestured to the two strangers. They had woken up only a few seconds ago, to find Rosa bickering with a couple of sirens, who now floated nearby. One scowling, the other grinning. And now iridesse was here, practically flinging Rosa out of her path as she darted over. “Hey…?” 

“Hey!” Rosa righted herself, and folded her arms. “What’s with everyone barging in today?” 

“I was worried about you.” Completely ignoring Rosa, Irridesse darted over to Lacey. She grabbed their shoulder roughly, and froze, seemingly unsure of what to do next. “I spoke with coral. We’ve narrowed it down to, probably, two suspects.” 

“Is that so?” One of the sirens had apparently been eavesdropping. Her tail was a dull purple color, contrasting with a silvery spiderweb of tattoos stretching across her arms and chest. Vibrant purple eyes darted between the two mers, while she barely repressed a grin. What was she so giddy about? “Let me explain. I’m De’Lune Claremont-with my assistant, Sol Venegaza-” The other siren, a young man with flowing black hair, shot them both an uncomfortable glance. “I heard through the ole’ grapevine that you two are on the lookout for Mr Mura’s murderer.” 

“Yeah…what’s a siren got to do with it?” Irridesse folded her arms, looking the woman up and down. 

“I’d like to help you!” De’Lune flung her arms out to either side, as if she were giving some grand presentation. “I find the predatory dynamics between Sea Monsters and, well, everyone else, deeply fascinating!” Lacey recoiled, already not liking her creepy enthusiasm for something so morbid. “I’m sure you have your own reasons for seeking the culprit…they need to be brought to justice, of course.” She waved one hand dismissively. “And I-well, we, we can help you!” 

She seemed to remember her assistant now, and grabbed his arm, yanking him forward. Sol gave her a withering look, followed by a long-suffering sigh. “Look, she’s thought a lot about this, okay? She could actually help you guys. We, could actually help you guys. And, if you want like, revenge-“ The ghost of a smile flickered across his face, showing a flash of sharp fangs. “We can also help.”

“Wait, what? They’ve already been found, right?” Rosa swam closer, hovering anxiously at Lacey’s side. “And wouldn’t that be really dangerous for you guys anyway?” 

“Doesn’t matter. We have to find the guy, and be certain he faces consequences for this.” Irridesse tugged Lacey away from Rosa, probably trying to do so subtly. It was ironic, Lacey mused, given Irridesse’s own closeness with Magna. “What’s in it for you two?”

“Knowledge!” De’Lune rubbed her hands together, not unlike a more unhinged Coral Dulcette. “This is a startlingly unique circumstance. Where would I ever find such a case study again?” 

“Lacey? Is she a friend of yours?” Rosa cast a doubtful glance at Irridesse. She looked completely lost, and Lacey felt a pang of guilt for not telling her sooner. 

“Yeah. Finding Atlantic’s killer was mostly her idea.” Irridesse nodded in agreement. “I would’ve told you sooner, it’s just been so busy…” Lacey looked back at the two sirens. “If we have two suspects, and these two want to help, should we get Magna?”

“Good thinking. Cmon.” Irridesse nudged Lacey up, steering them to the door. Apparently, not satisfied with leaving Lacey to Rosa and the sirens. 

————-

Almost an hour later, the entire group was gathered in Lacey’s room. The two sirens, Irridesse, Lacey, and Magna, along with Rosa, who still looked deeply worried. 

“Alright. Let’s get on the same page here.” Irridesse leaned forward. Ever the natural leader. “Magna, these two are De’Lune, and her assistant, Sol. They’re going to help us find our killer with De’Lune’s knowledge of sea monster biology.” Whether or not they would actually be useful, that remained to be seen.

Magna arched one eyebrow. “Oh…kay.”

“And as for YOU-“ Irridesse spun around to point an accusing finger at Rosa, who recoiled away. “I’m not against involving you. I’m not even sure what you are. But if you tell any Sea Monster outside, you are more than small enough for me to whip your ass.” 

Rosa rolled her eyes, while Lacey awkwardly grabbed their friend’s shoulder. “She’s safe. I trust her.” 

“I still don’t get the point of all this. The police already took care of the killer. Why does it matter who they…” She trailed off, seeing the poisonous glare Irridesse aimed at her. “But sure, alright. I won’t tell anyone.” Irridesse glanced back at Lacey, before clearing her throat and carrying on. 

“I spoke to Coral Dulcette about it. And she told me that most of the Sea Monsters are too small to…digest Atlantic that quickly.” Lacey quietly whimpered in spite of themselves. “The only ones large enough to be capable of this are Carcharias Rubrumpito, and Spike Swilton.”

Rosa’s eyes widened, and Irridesse saw the way she stiffened suddenly. She knows something. It was Magna, though, who leaned forward with a concerned expression. “Carcharias seems like a nice guy, from what I’ve seen. Spike is too, but…he’s never tried to call himself vegetarian.” She looked to Rosa, probably seeing the same hesitation that Irridesse did. “Did he go to that party of yours?” 

Rosa sighed, crossing her arms. “Well…yeah. I did hear him joking about eating mers, but most of them do that.” Irridesse scowled, but forced herself to keep quiet. “And Carcharias, trust me, wouldn’t even be capable of eating Atlantic. We tried to talk about it the other day, and he got so flustered…I don’t think he’s ever even been introduced to the idea. But even if it was one of them, wouldn’t they have been taken away already? I mean, the school is run by Mers.” 

“It’s not…illegal, per se?” Irridesse sighed irritably. “Sea Monsters can’t really be arrested by Mers. Not yet, anyway. There’s too much power imbalance. So they’ve always been considered sort of above the law. But this was advertised as a safe place. Not a death trap. Though I do trust Coral’s judgment…are both of them still here?” 

“They are.” Rosa spoke up again, now in a hushed tone. “They were both in psychology this morning, after the announcement was made.” 

“If I may-” De’Lune piped up now, as she threw an arm around her assistant. “I can find out for sure, if the subject is willing to prove their innocence. Based on what we heard so far, Atlantic’s body should still be inside their stomach. Certainly not alive anymore, but still there.” A strange grin spread across her face. “If I can get them to eat me, I can find and identify his body for you!” 

Irridesse wasn’t often at a loss for words, but now, she stared at the siren in shocked silence. Lacey let out a nervous laugh, while Magna chuckled quietly. It was Rosa who broke the awkward silence, with an exasperated sigh. “I think it should be obvious, but that doesn’t seem very safe. Getting eaten by someone who swallowed and digested Atlantic will almost certainly end the same way for you.” An apologetic expression flitted across her face, as she looked at the unfazed De’Lune. “It’s just common sense.” 

“Not to worry! We sirens are prepared for danger. You all know what a Siren song is, don’t you?” 

Irridesse wrinkled her nose. She hadn’t really thought much about sirens, or their abilities. But she knew they were able to wield some kind of vocal magic, which they called a siren song. “...Yes.” 

De’Lune didn’t seem to notice her uncertain reply. “Mine is a necrosis spell. Basically, I can kill them from the inside out if I need to! No need to worry about me!”

Goddammit. De’Lune was weird, a freak even, that much was for sure. But she had total confidence, despite her size, and it was completely warranted. If Mermaids had natural weapons like that, they would never need to be afraid again. I wonder if Mers are capable of using magic like that…? 

“I dunno. You’re talking about getting Carcharias and Spike to eat you…I don’t know about Spike, but Carcharias is never going to agree to that.” Rosa shook her head, before glancing sadly at Carcharias’s giant setup on the other side of the room. “This isn’t the first time he’s been accused of eating Atlantic. And he may want a way to prove his innocence, but not like this.”

Irridesse groaned, looking back at the two sirens. “Can’t you guys hypnotize him or something?” 

De’Lune shrugged helplessly, and Sol just snorted. “She can’t. And I can change my appearance, but that’s it.” Even while he admitted weakness, he sounded quite arrogant. 

“But-!” De’Lune leaned forward, closing the gap between her and Irridesse until the mermaid leaned back. I sure hope her weird obsessions aren’t contagious. “Give me some time, and I think I can make this work.” Another wicked grin lit up her face. 

Rosa’s brow furrowed suddenly. “Hang on. What’re you gonna do to him?”

“Just convince him, that’s all! I’m quite convincing.” Sol nodded, as if in begrudging agreement with her. 

“That’ll work.” She looked back at Magna. “Did you have any luck talking to Spike?” 

“No dice. He seemed kind of defensive, but I guess anyone would be.” She glanced at De’Lune doubtfully. “He’d probably take you up on proving his innocence, if you talk to him right.”

“Fine.” Irridesse looked around at the group of different species all huddled together. “De’Lune, go find Carcharias and Spike. Bring them here.” She remembered her earlier altercation with the former, and winced internally. “And don’t tell them I'm here.” She took a deep breath, steadying the sudden anxiety that ran down her spine. “We’ll find Atlantic’s killer, once and for all.”  --------- Author's note: Thanks so much for everyone whose been reading this story, and telling me how much you've enjoyed it!! You guys are so sweet! Im also going to be be making a pinned post with links to each chapter in just a bit, since some of the aforementioned people are wanting to reread the story so far aaand @yummynomms , next chapter is here! Since they asked to be tagged :)

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I just read chapter 60 of yuumori and I’m confused and frustrated as a sherliam fan. Do Bond and Sherlock have romantic feelings for each other? Why was Sherlock about to touch Bond’s head before he pulled away from him?

There is very little indication that they have romantic feelings for each other and a lot of indications that they really don't.

Has your brother or sister never patted you on the head comfortingly? Your parent? Anybody? Since when is that a romantic thing? That's almost achingly platonic. People do that to pets. I do that to stuffed animals and my computer.

It a comfort thing, but I don't see it as all that romantic. A friend realized another friend was upset and seeking comfort in a way that's unusual for them, and reached out to offer comfort and support.

Now, if Sherlock went and like. Tenderly wrapped his arm around Bond's shoulders or pulled Bond's head into his shoulder or chest or something....yeah, that would look a lot more romo. But I don't think head pats are.

Am I missing something wildly? Should I stop doing this to my plushies? This is a trope I see sometimes in romantic couple but mostly when trying to make the girl more "cute" or something, rather than a specific indication of romance.