#I AM STEALING SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HOUSE. DO YOU ACTUALLY HEAR ME RIGHT NOW.

[bogos-bint3d]

Fandom will see a strong experienced woman and go "ermmmm, actually I don't think she's experienced actually, really she's actually just faking it because she's stupid and wants to look cooler." Fandom will see a character with a literal disability (literally blind in one eye) and say "ummm actually she's not actually. She's faking this disability. This woman who is the frontline defence for her entire species is intentionally displaying herself in a way that causes her several disadvantages in a battle. And like. Every day life probably as well. Because why would I take her seriously."

I could go on about this but I won't because I should probably go to bed soon.

Listen. Can you just actually take characters seriously rather than going haha no she's just silly she's just pretending no she's just faking loll. And just say hey maybe we can take certain aspects of this character more seriously. Please. At least for me. Guys. For me <3

[astonmartinii]

Hey, I love your work. Could you please do a social Media au with Lewis Hamilton x senna! reader who is the secret daughter of Ayrton Senna and Mick's godmother and Mick introduces them? Don't feel pressured and thank you in advance.

<3

top secret | lewis hamilton social media au

pairing: senna!reader x lewis hamilton

turns out mick is the grid's biggest matchmaker

mickschumacher

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 404,331 others

mickschumacher: summer dinners (not cooked by me)

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username so is this a soft launch or ???

georgerussell63 it's a good thing you weren't cooking i've seen your skills in hospitality

mickschumacher don't worry she'd never let me blow the house up

username no tag, no name WHY ARE WE SO SECRETIVE MICK?

lewishamilton where was my invite then ?

mickschumacher you already steal her all the time let me have my moment

username WAIT THIS MAKES IT SO MUCH MORE CONFUSING

f1wagsupdates

liked by 1,045 others

f1wagsupdates: the mystery blonde is back again, this time spotted going into the mercedes hospitality. not much is known about her as she wasn't spotted for the rest of the weekend - so is she with mick or lewis or just friends with both of them?

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username so like she didn't actually stay for the race ??? i'm smelling a gold digger

username like how do we not know who she is it's practically impossible to be anonymous these days

username who can just waltz into merc hospitality like she has to be with someone, right?

username y'all can continue yelling in these comments but like she's serving in all of these like i need her wardrobe

username i mean as much as i would hate to see slag!lewis go ... i think it is time

lewishamilton added to their story

[caption: the view is something else]

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, mickschumacher and 779,445 others

yourusername: i'm hearing shouts of gold digger, my daddy ran your sport ;)

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username SENNA HAD A KID ???

username y'all been calling senna's daughter a gold digger that's rough

username so wait how did we never know she existed ?

mickschumacher finally it's out i couldn't deal with people thinking i was dating my godmother

ginaschumacher we may have a ranch but we're not from alabama

yourusername citizens of alabama out here catching strays

lewishamilton lovely lady

yourusername knew there was a reason you were made an honorary brazilian citizen

lewishamilton

liked by mickschumacher, georgerussell63 and 1,223,761 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: and suddenly everything made sense when i met you

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username my guy said i'm gonna break senna's records and then bag his daughter and i respect it

yourusername you made me realise the meaning of forever

lewishamilton biggest honour of my life

username okay this is so fucking cute im gonna need someone to confess their love to me asap

georgerussell63 congrats you two 🥂

mercedesamgf1 category is SLAY

username i'm being SO CHILL ABOUT THIS

f1 no biggie just two of the greatest families in f1 coming together

yourusername

liked by f1, lewishamilton and 1,304,667 others

yourusername: happy father's day pops !! i miss you so much everyday but i know you're super proud of me no matter what. see you soon xx

comments have been restricted on this post

lewishamilton

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher and 2,130,653 others

lewishamilton: happy father's day to my wonderful dad and the one who i never met but am thankful for everyday. my dad has been nothing but supportive of me my whole life and i am forever grateful to him. ayrton, though we never met i feel you everyday and i promise i will be the best husband possible for your angel of daughter

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username this is all very touching but HUSBAND

yourusername thank you so much lew, i love you so much and i know he does too (also i love your dad too)

lewishamilton can't get rid of us now

username this is honestly like a fairytale

username the fact she said in an interview that she never wanted to watch or go to another race because of what the sport took from her, but now regularly goes to support lewis 😭

mickschumacher hey don't forget about her favourite god son

username OMG THIS MAKES LEWIS MICK'S GODFATHER WTF

mickschumacher

liked by mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc and 880,276 others

tagged: yourusername, lewishamilton

mickschumacher: adding professional matchmaker to my resume

view all comments

username so like the first born is named after him ?

mickschumacher deal

yourusername mick ???

username this is a trio i never thought i'd see coming schumachers, hamiltons and a senna in one family

yourusername all jokes aside i love you mick thank you for wingmanning me

lewishamilton thank you for finally giving me her number after asking about a billion times

note: i hope this is what you were thinking - i had so much fun writing this !! xx

[cyyfics]

I LOVED your Simon headcannons!!! Could I request gender neutral reader giving Simon a Blowjob? I just generally imagine him all whiny and needy. Like he gets an involuntary erection and the reader helps him out <33

—————

Accidents Happen

Pairing: !Simon Petrikov x GN! reader

C! Warning(s): NSFW!, blowjobs, overstimulation, hair pulling, something else idk how to describe??? Like ur like idk, sort of spit/saliva kink, gagging, throat fucking sort of, sort of choking tbh

Synopsis: you and your best friend Simon were just lounging around on the couch on a hot summers day, who knew it would end like this?

Pronoun stuff: ur genitals aren’t mentioned like at all except for maybe one line and it’s pretty gender neutral

Note: ur the one being more dominant and harsh to him in this story, just letting u guys know Cus like ik some ppl don’t like top! readers ???

Also sorry for the Wattpad words 😨

————————

Your day started out like normal, you were simply lying in bed with your leg draped off the side lazily; that was until you got a knock on your door. Planning to stay lazy, you stayed in bed for a little longer not planning to get up. ‘If it’s really that important, they’ll find a way to get to me..’ you thought to yourself as you neglected the person at the door.

“Y/n!” You perked up as you heard your name being called, the sound of a familiar voice ringing through your head “shit, it’s Simon!” You scrambled to get up from your cozy bed to go help him at the door. Your footsteps were heard from outside the house at how fast you were running down the hallway, Simon stared at your front door with a bead of sweat upon his eyebrow as he heard you coming.

Finally, you had opened up the door for him. He was standing there with one of his arms sheepishly rubbing at his elbow, “Simon! What’re you doing here? Not that I mind, but I thought you would’ve texted first..” you crossed your arms and squinted at him. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I was in the area and thought about seeing you.” Simon apologised, the sentence actually sounding pretty sweet to you. “You’re drenched in sweat, did you run here or something?” You chuckled to yourself a little as you looked him up and down.

“No. Just walked. The heat is horrible out there.” Simon huffed and leaned against the wall, you cocked an eyebrow at him “You sure you’re not just exaggerating? I know your body temperature hasn’t been the same since ic-“ Simon cuts you off. He doesn’t wanna hear the name, doesn’t wanna remember any of that. “No. It really is hot out there. I saw a candy girl and she was literally melting!” Simon exclaimed.

You found it kinda cute, but not in a weird way, you told yourself. “You can sit in front of the fan if you want, just turn it on over there.” You pointed towards the fan that was set up in the corner of your living room “..Why do you have a fan out here?” Simon irked at you “..Because it gets hot in the living room? Duh.” You furrowed your eyebrows at him and gave a weird look. “..Right then.” Simon switched the fan on and immediately started to lay down on your couch.

“Oh, and now you’re just stealing my couch. How thoughtful.” You walked over to join him and found that he had left you little room to sit down, “Yes I am actually quite thoughtful- thank you for seeing that prince/ss” Simon chuckled to himself before moving a bit on the couch. “That’s still not leaving me a lot of room, Simon.” You deadpanned at him “Come lay on me then, I don’t mind.” He invited you over to him. It wouldn’t be weird, you told yourself, you and him had cuddled or laid with each other before, it’s what best friends do.

You hesitantly crawled up to him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulder awkwardly. “Isn’t this only gonna make you feel more hot?” You asked him “Probably.” Simon didn’t really care though since he had the fan turned on him. As you laid there on top of him, Simon moved one of his arms to wrap around you- to make sure you don’t suddenly fall off the couch or something, obviously..

The TV was switched on and before long the two of you were watching bad movies and junk. It was like any other day, that’s how it started. The two of you would always just be hanging out doing random things, sometimes it’d be things even like just standing in the same room together. You two just enjoyed each other���s presence. “Oh, this is a boring movie. I preferred the book much better.” Simon giggled into his hand, you couldn’t help smiling and giggling back at him.

Just as the two of you became engulfed in whatever garbage you were watching, you suddenly felt the air in the room go stagnant. Something was off, and you didn’t exactly know what yet. That was until you felt something ‘weird’ and ‘foreign’ pressing up against your lower back, you weren’t sure what it was at first but you got an idea when you moved your hips back a little and felt Simon tense up. You stayed still for a bit, seeing if he was going to say anything, possibly something like ‘Y/n don’t do that that’s my crotch’ or ‘I’m sorry that I’ve accidentally got a boner let’s just ignore it’

He said nothing, and neither did you. But you were ever so curious to find out if he would eventually say something, to confirm your theory you had to test it. You ground your hips back against his front, making the man involuntarily twitch for just a moment. You didn’t miss it, with the way his arm around you tensed up. “Something wrong?” You turned over your shoulder to ask him, looking up at his now slightly flustered face “N-No, why would something be wrong? Nothings wrong.” Simon stammered out.

“Oh, okay then.” You turn your head away to focus back on the TV but just as you do you feel his hand that was holding your side slightly grip you a little tighter, sending this tingling sensation down your body. You still didn’t dare say anything, wondering where this may be leading to. Simon pulled you a little closer to him, you were flush against him, he tried to do it slowly in hopes maybe you wouldn’t notice but you did. “Simon.” You spoke “Hm?” He tried to act as if he had no idea that you knew what he was doing.

“Why did you-“ he cuts you off “Why did I what?” You furrow your eyebrows at him “pull me closer.” You finish “I didn’t do that.” He lies to you, and yet his fingers grasp onto the fabric of your shirt to hold you a little tighter. You roll your eyes at him, simply deciding to mess with him now at this point. You shifted in your place a bit, your ass now rubbing right against his hard on. It’s a little more obvious now what you’re doing, and Simon ends up realising that just as he releases a soft moan.

The sound reaches your ears, making your cheeks flush. You weren’t expecting a moan, nor one this cute. You tease up a little, turning your head to look up at his face- which was already looking down at you with a slight annoyance. Yet, he had the most adorable flustered looking face you’d ever seen. “Y/n!” Simon exclaims “yeeeeesssss?” You draw it out, you weren’t worried about him being upset with you since you knew the man and that he wasn’t actually mad or upset. “Are you doing that on purpose?” He narrows his eyes at you “doing what?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently.

“You know what.” Simon spits flusteredly, his cheeks a bright red colour. “Do I?” You turn your head back around, moving your hips against him again. “So you are!” Simon squeals in embarrassment “you are doing this on purpose!” Simon huffs “No clue what you’re talking about Simon.” You pretend to yawn “Right. So you aren’t rubbing your butt up against me on purpose?” Simon deadpanned at you “Where would you get such an idea?” You asked him trying not to laugh.

“From this.” He gently moves you off of him a little and shows you the growing erection showing through his pants, from what you could see he already looked pretty big actually. You looked down at him with widened eyes, licking your lips that had suddenly become dry, still trying to tell yourself that you only see this man as a friend. “Christ, Looks painful.” You swore under your breath, feeling suddenly sorry for this poor man.

“It is.” His cock was strained against his tightened pants, begging to be freed. “And you’re telling me, I did that?” Your tone switched up at the end there which told him that you weren’t innocent at all, not that he thought you were. “.. yes, I guess you did!” Simon turned his head away from you in annoyance. You didn’t say a word, only turning over to face him now. Your hand slowly slid down to find its way to his clothed erection, stroking him gently with your fingertips.

“Y-Y/n!” Simon gasped softly as you touched him, your hand brushing up against his aching cock. “Yeah? What’s up, Simon? What’s wrong?” You asked him ‘innocently’ even as your hand kept stroking at his clothed dick “you’re touching my-“ he gulped nervously. “This okay?” You cut him off to ask him “yes.” Simon replied a little quickly. Simon was panting under your touch now, trying to fight his urges as his hips slowly grind themselves up against your hand.

“Get it out for me, please.”

Simon didn’t hesitate as he started to undo his belt, pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. He then unbuttoned his pants, zipped them down, and tugged them down to his thighs. He then slid his underwear down enough to reveal his length “fuck..” you muttered out quietly as you eyed his erection in its full glory. He was actually surprisingly long, and he was curved. “What’re you gonn-“ Simon bit back his words as he felt you suddenly move your head down to kiss at his tip.

Simon loved it, he couldn’t lie. His eyes were watching you with such content and desire, he could watch you sit and kiss his cock all day. (Not really, if you did that he’d probably get super overstimulated and cum all over your lips and face.) You slowly parted your lips, letting your tongue drag along his slit before moving your head and licking a long line down his shaft. “A-ah..” Simon whined out as you started to lick at him, teasing him before you got to the main bit.

In all honesty Simon could’ve came right then and there, because just seeing you like that in a lewd state made his mind start reeling. Simon whined impatiently, covering his mouth with a hand, his hips jerking up against your touch. You took that as a sign and opened your mouth, wrapping your lips around him as you took him down your throat. There was a slight sting as you felt him take up the room down your throat, making it hard for you to breathe at all. You still tried your best though, moving your head up and down along his cock.

Simon couldn’t stop his greedy self, his hips grinding up against your face, one of his hands grabbing at your hair gently. He wasn’t pulling you or anything, only tangling his fingers in your hair as you sucked him dry. Your mouth was filling up with saliva as you took him down your throat, You don’t stop sucking him off though, instead letting a bit of saliva dribble down your chin. Simon was covered in your spit too, a bit of it starting to cover his thighs. It was a hot sight to see actually.

Simon moaned loudly, his hand that was tangled in your hair now grabbing it slightly tighter. You kept going, your tongue resting against the bottom of your mouth as he basically face fucked you. His hips were grinding against your face and his hand in your hair was slightly pushing you down against him too. It wasn’t long before he ended up cumming, hot bitter liquid pooling down your throat.

You had to swallow it, not sure you could even spit it up with the way it naturally sunk down your throat. Simon pulled out slowly, your tongue sticking out a little still covered in a bit of his cum. You put your tongue back into your mouth and swallowed it, the sight was a real pretty thing to see. Simon now felt a bit exhausted, panting as he laid back on the couch. You giggled at his cute mannerisms, before leaning back down and kissing at the head of his dick to overstimulate him.

It was just to tease him though, wanting to see more of his cute faces. Simon clenched his eyes and used a hand over his mouth to muffle a loud moan that had escaped him. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” You gave him mercy and sat up, allowing him to put himself away. “T-That felt really.. good” Simon admitted.

“I liked it too.”

[yeahspider]

biking (solo) 🫀

Ve’s note - hyunlix smutty thoughts . that’s all . i’m actually sober for once so I’ll proofread this a lil . nsfw mdni . gn !reader . will do a part two if it’s requested !! enjoy my bees <3

thinking about how jealous hyunlix gets when they see someone else is holding your attention . you were theirs , rather you knew it or not . yeah it wasn’t exclusive , that’s been established everytime you’ve fucked . always leaving before morning light . no kidding . because ironically you considered that too intimate .

it’s hyunjin who notices it first . you were all at a house party . felix and him were attached to the hip as always . but you were running astray for tonight . deciding that the loser who’s holding a conversation with you is more worthy .

hyunjin sees how you laugh at whatever joke the man says . jealously coursing through his veins . you should only laugh at their jokes . he tugs on lix’s waist urging him to follow him into the kitchen to steal you away .

now felix handles his jealously a little differently . insecurity riddles through him . were they not enough ? did they not fuck you as good as others ? he didn’t think that was right . not with the way you reacted to their touches . when hyunjin walks out to you felix finally notices the man . some loser that isn’t worthy of you .

hyunjin grabs your hand and tugs you and felix away . ignoring your protests . variations of the words asshole and cockblock flying from your mouth . once hyunjin gets to a spare room in the house he slams the door . felix goes to sit on the bed . willing to let hyunjin lead this conversation .

words fly and curses soar as you two go back in forth . felix realizes you two aren’t really listening to each other . just letting words be said . what a waste . so he gets up and kisses you deep and hard . promoting you to speak in the language that you all understand . fucking .

hyunjin takes his jealousy out on you . he has you on top of felix . grinding yourself against his cock as the younger boy whimpers beneath you .

“you think you can get away with making us jealous ?”

“you’re ours , only we can make you break like this”

“ make felix cum first . don’t you think he deserves it after all you’ve put him through?”

felix is a mess underneath you . he loves the absolute power hyunjin and you have over him . but he can’t help the insecurities that scratch beneath the surface of his skin . as you grind harder on his cock .

“am i not pretty enough for you?”

“does that dude fuck you better than us?

felix sees you shake your head in disagreement but it’s not enough to pacify his fears .

hyunjin hates hearing the doubt come out of his mouth . he lands a hit on your ass which only leads you to moan .

“use your words doll . you were just wasting them on that loser . put them to good use now.”

hearing you admit that no one fuck you better than them sends felix over the edge . as his cum splatters out on his stomach he feels you lean down to kiss him . something that has never happened before . you whisper that he’s the prettiest into his lips like a prayer . one of your fingers swirling in the cum on his tummy . spelling out the phrase “i’m sorry”

while this is enough for felix it isn’t for hyunjin . he yanks you up and spins you around to face him .

“you might’ve made up with felix but im still upset . and you’re gonna make it up to me right ”

[byechristopher]

can you make a pt.2 of “i want more” but like the middle of it….idk maybe chris asking his brothers advices about what to do and ugly crying, writing the letter….just an idea bc i’m mesmerized with this fic and you writing

I Want More. [0.2]

– CHRIS STURNIOLO ANGST & FLUFF.

PART ONE.

Author's note: thank you so much for the request, love! I loooove the idea that you gave me so, here you go, Chris' side to the story. Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and w33d, little bit of angst. But that's pretty much it.

Playlist:

"Chris. I think we need to stop this thing between us."

I freeze. What?

I am pretty sure I look like a crazy man, because my eyes are wide open and I completely freeze. I can't quite understand what is going on inside my head, or my body, but something makes me feel like throwing up.

"What? Why?" I whisper and I wish I never asked that question.

"I don't feel like doing it anymore, sorry. It's for the better." she is cold as ice, I see her standing up, searching for her clothes. There's nothing I can possibly say that won't sound utterly insane. So I just watch her.

She is stiff and quick, she looks like she wants to be out of my house immediately. As soon as possible. I watch her leave.

It is the first time that I watch her leave and I can feel my chest becoming empty all of a sudden. I quickly put on my sweatpants and I run down the stairs, chasing after her but by the time I reach the door, she is already in the car.

Fucking hell.

A few days have passed since that incident and they have been the worst days of my life, I think.

It's only 10PM but I try to get some sleep, I don't want to stay awake for too long, because my thoughts will go wild again. But as soon as I close my eyes, I can feel my chest hurting, a knot in the stomach, a lump in my throat. It feels horrible. So horrible that I tell Nick.

"You know it's because of what happened with that friend of yours, right?" he emphasizes the word "friend", rolling his eyes sarcastically.

"Nick, I'm fucking telling you.. actual pain. Cut the bullshit!" I am so frustrated.

He shrugs and widens his eyes, practically face-palming his face, "Chris, you're in love with the girl, just admit it and shut the fuck up so we can all go to sleep!" he groans.

"Fucking hell, Nick. I shouldn't have told you anything!" my fist meets the table but Nick is unfazed. He knows my anger issues appear when I am feeling like this.

"Chris, I'm being serious. You're denying it so much that your body started to react to it. This is an actual thing that happens. And no matter what I tell you, you won't listen to me." his voice is calmer now and I know he's being serious, "so grow a pair and just tell her already!" he yells and turns to the other side, covering himself with a blanket.

"You've been really fucking helpful, Nick, thanks!" I scoff, closing the door behind me and then going back to my room.

This cannot be the case. Nick is just being an ass. But why does my chest hurt again now that I think of her?

I don't know how long it's been but I've been drinking. I don't know why, I'm not this type of person but, well, happens to the best of us. I try to find my lighter, grabbing the blunt I rolled just a few minutes ago, and heading outside so that I can smoke in peace.

I am outside of her house and I don't know how or why, but it feels right. I feel the need to cry, God, I am such a pussy. I call her. The moment I hear her voice, some tears escape my eyes. I cannot understand.

She comes outside and we start talking, with every word we say, my chest hurts even more.

".. that's not how friends with benefits are, Chris." there's not a way I can actually reply to her because she's right. That's not what friends do, but fuck, I'm scared.

I chew on my bottom lip nervously, "I don't know how to do this. I thought you liked how things were."

What the fuck am I even saying? I just keep messing up. But what she says next, messes me up.

"I want more", "grow a pair", "I want nothing to do with you".

Nick's words reappear in my head and I want to fucking run away. Instead, once again, I do what I do best. I suck it in and I fuck up, "so is this the end?" even the words feel heavy on me.

"I suppose so. Yes." I nod, my jaw is clenched and I can feel my heart breaking again. I turn around quickly, about to leave, because I can't keep my tears in place anymore. I hear the door shut behind me and I burst.

I turn around, walking towards her door again, drunk, high and ugly crying like a little boy. How embarrassing it would be if she ever saw me like this.

I don't remember how, but apparently I went home at some point, because I wake up in my own room. I immediately run downstairs to find Nick and Matt in the kitchen.

"I need help." I clear my throat.

"No shit." Nick rolls his eyes and Matt laughs.

"No, seriously. I need help. I went to her house yesterday. Drunk. And crying." Matt turns around to face me and so does Nick. They did not expect that, neither did I.

"Oh wow. You're actually in love." Matt continues to sip on his juice, and Nick slaps his hand over his mouth dramatically, "don't say that word, Matt! He'll go crazy." Nick says and I sigh.

"No, you're good. Because you two are right. And she's right. She confronted me, told me to grow a pair." I let my head fall on the hard surface of the table, forehead pressed against the wood. My brothers are both looking at me.

"Yeah, it was about time." Matt agrees and I would normally punch him, but I'm just a mess now.

"What do I do?" I groan.

"Go to her house again", "call her, duh", "send her flowers", "buy her chocolate?", "oh my God, plan a romantic date!".

The list of suggestions was long, needless to say, but it still just.. wasn't right. Then an idea came up and I stood up abruptly.

"Wait, I know!" not wanting to lose the creativity or the courage, I quickly run to them, giving them both a kiss on the cheek (which made us all cringe, but it's fine), and then quite literally run to my room.

I am outside of her house again; I've already knocked on the door, pushed the envelope underneath the door and this is the most nervous I've been in my whole life. I can't believe I just did that.

I can hear shuffling behind the door and I almost want to leave – almost. I don't. But I feel the stupid tears in my eyes again. What if she doesn't want this anymore? What if she just never opens the door? What if she hates me already? What if–

The door opens and she cries, and I'm crying. But she opened the door, does that mean–

Stop overthinking.

"I can't lose you. I promise, I will try for you. I will do anything for you." I whisper and I mean it, I'm hugging her so tightly.

"I love you, Chris."

Wow, it feels good. To hear someone say they love you and mean it.

"I am in love with you too."

Fucking hell. That feels just as good. To love someone and be able to let them know.

"Your handwriting still sucks."

I laugh, "fuck off."

Sorry, I didn't have time to proof-read, so, sorry if I have any typos. Pft. I was excited to upload it.

@loveesiren promised to tag you, queen. 🤍

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as Things I Heard This Week Number 4

It's a long one

Medda: That was vewy scawy

Race: she did not just say vewy scawy in front of a class at 7 am on a Monday-

Blink: *shows duck earrings*

Elmer: *gasp* I love him his name is jaramiah

Blink: No

Elmer: Yes

Blink: All my ducks are nonbinary

Elmer: ...Their name is jaramiah then idfc

Davey: Can the sun just... Go away for a minute?

Race: Forever. It can just blow up and be gone

Davey: ...No then we'd all be dead

Katherine: Omg I love your outfit!

Sarah: Oh thank y-

Katherine: It's giving like... Rosie the Rivitor we can do it but like... Gay

Sarah: ...

Sarah: Thank you...? I actually love that hold on-

Hotshot: Why do you have 2 sandwiches??

Spot: One of them is for Race

Hotshot: Oh

Albert: Awww they're having a lunch date

Spot: *glares*

Albert: ...No response?

Spot: *GLARES*

Albert: Why are you looking at me like that?

Elmer: *shrugs*

Albert: ...Is it because I just swore really loudly and angrily from the other room?

Elmer: Yeah what was that about?

Albert: The spoons fell when I opened the silverware drawer

Elmer: That seems like an appropriate response

Albert: Shut up

Morris Delancey: Do you ever like see an Elephant shit and like... You like it? Like like like I don't know! But like! I liked it! I don't know! It's just like- *very clearly desperately trying to be relatable and floundering*

(I DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT TO THIS IT WAS SOME GUY WALKING BEHIND ME IN THE HALLWAY)

Denton: *walking past a group of students eating lunch* Hey I just had triscuts today!

Davey, the guy who brought an entire box of triscuts: They're good right?

Denton: They've been around for 50 years! *leaves*

Race: ...Guys what's a triscut? ... What's a triscut???

Davey, about Romeo: He drank a whole can of tomato soup in the middle of band! Like uncooked unheated, not diluted, straight up- like who does that?? What is he- ashuguwah

Jack: She said we don't have total freedom in America because if we did you could just say you're hungry go to your neighbors house take their baby and eat it

Davey: ...Yeah I don't know what's happening right now but we have work to get started

Race: Om nom

Jack: What??

Davey: *pokes boob with bass drum mallet*

Sarah: *mid sentence* :0

Buttons: Look at me! The football fan! I loove NFL footba-

Crutchie: Shut the fuck up

Buttons: :0

Crutchie: You are a lying piece of they/them shit

Davey: *writing something on notebook paper*

Race: I asked you if you had note book paper and you said no!

Davey: No I didn't?

Race: Yes you did!

Davey: You came with me to my locker to get this??

Race, gay: *shows Jack a picture of a guy*

Jack, bisexual: Smash

Katherine, bisexual: Eh, pass

Jack: Of course you say that it's a guy

Katherine: I am attracted to men

Race: Uh huh

Jack: Hey do you ever think about color theory?

Race: Oh yeah all the time

Katherine: Uh wait back track what do you mean uh huh???

Romeo, watching a video of an artist slowly revealing his work: I'd tap. Not him, the drawing. Oh wait its of a woman nevermind

Race: *steals Davey's phone out of his lap* I just took your cock

Davey: *not paying attention, writing notes* oh I'm just making a...

Race: Did you hear me?

Davey, now realizing Race did not, in fact, ask him what he was doing: ...

Davey: *sigh*

Jojo: Look at this *shows Romeo a video*

Romeo: Ooh

Romeo: I'd fuck a... Biblically accurate angel...

Jojo: ...

Jojo: That's a weird kink

Elmer: I like shiny things

Buttons: Of course you do, faggot

Elmer: :0

Elmer: Periodt

Davey: *random noise random noise* I have autism *random noise random noise*

Race, watching asmr: Ooh I think I'm gonna like this... Oh yeah. Yeah I like that. Hot knife and gummy worm, that's a new kink

Davey: Pff-

Race: I wonder if if that says anything about me

Race: I'm gonna send you into epidemiological shock

Davey: Is that a thing?

Race: *looks at notes he's currently writing on epidemiology*

Romeo: Why are you fondling nuts like that

Albert: *drops Race's phone* oh shit-

Race: You!... Hooker!

Sarah: I wanna take my hoodie off but I'll look like a whore

Davey: I cried over harry potter’s dead parents yesterday

Race: the line has been drawn

Davey: Get off your phone!!

Race: Noo!

Davey: You have a concussion!

Race: I don't care!!

Davey: Brain damage is no joke!

Race: Ho life or no life

Sarah: Hey I also have a flannel on!

Davey: Woah

Sarah: You'll just never see it cuz I have a hoodie-

Davey: You're gay too!

Sarah, who has a whole ass girlfriend: Ew! Gross! Don't call me that slur!!

Albert: I don't understand why I can't just drink water it's like- gsgatsv!

Denton: ...Okay I'm gonna start class now

Elmer, talking about things he'll remember after high school: With the black mold trombone!!

Race: Black mold trombone will go down in history

Race: Okay but first, water bottle flip

Race: You know what makes me happy? Pheromones

Jack: Why are you so obsessed with pheromones??

Race: Because I- actually I'm not gonna say that

Specs: Did you know that nothing would happen if you threw a glass of water on the sun? *yelling* THIS IS BECAUSE THE WATER WOULD NOT REACH THE SUN

Crutchie: I miss covid

Denton: I just wanna watch the football and go home

Race: watch the football

Davey: watch the football

TW SH JOKE Jack: I hope all cutters go to hell. Not like arm cutters like line cutters. I'm going to hell anyway because I'm gay

Albert, singing a choir warm up at band: Mango mango mango mango mango mango mango mango banana banana banana whoo

Crutchie: I'm not in choir but I recognize that and I just realized you're autistic

Denton: That was weak. That was weak sauce. But I think it worked *enthusiastic thumbs up*

Elmer: I know my flowers

Spot: He does, he went to flower camp

Elmer: I did, it was fuckin SICK

Denton: Good news, you both exist!

Jojo: It's good to exist!

Crutchie: ...Okay

Spot: I'm gonna eat you and kill you

Davey, out of nowhere: *soft gasp* heliocase...

Race: Can you imagine if cells bullied each other? Like like "pff- you got a goofy lookin nucleas, idiot"

Spot: I'm gonna eat you, chew you up, and show your pieces to the world

Albert: Imagine just getting home from a long day of work and you just get c o n s u m e d

Elmer: It's super pretty cool

Jojo: Super pretty cool?

Elmer: Super pretty cool

Jojo: Oh nice

Race: I can't get embarrassed

Albert: You-

Albert: But-

Race: I've never been embarrassed in my life

Race: Yeah I don't even think I'd know what that feels like

Spot: What about when you got something nicknamed the "toddler disease" as an adult

Race: :0

Race: Look that's-

Spot: Even if you're not embarrassed, you *should* be!

Race: :00

Spot: Loser! With your toddler immune system !!

Race: Thats just dirty

Davey, a science teacher: What did you get out of reading this study? (About an experiment performed on lizards)

Class: *silence*

Davey: Did you.... Did you like it or-

Splasher, a student: Lizard...

Davey: What was that?

Splasher: For my senior pictures I'm gonna have a bearded dragon

Davey: Uh... Okay did you like the study or-?

Medda: I would never get rid of any of my beloved cello players!

Medda: ...

Medda: *holds up L on forehead*

Race: Pff-

Medda: No! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I wouldn't get rid of Romeo!

Romeo: :0

Sarah: *zoning out in class, internally* omg his pockets are really deep

Denton: We've all heard that phrase before, we know what that means-

Myron: *has never heard the phrase ever* We? All??

Spot: *threateningly* you'll be the next lizard I test

Davey: *about science* it's like lasagna. It makes you want to choke but you love it because it's your favorite food

Denton: You should read the titles of some of these studies. I mean some of the TITLES are like a paragraph long I can only imagine what the articles are-

Denton: I suppose that's an analogy you could make

Romeo: It's just like Fall Out Boy for real

Jojo: Does that mean if I step on a baby I'm 72℅ Jesus? (I have no idea what this was about)

Davey: *sneezes*

Sarah: How dare you!

Katherine: *at the same time* bless you

Davey: Thank you, KATHERINE

Albert: I run at 5:40 every morning

Finch: Why would you-

Albert: I don't like it :(

Jack: Man come 8pm and I am WORTHLESS

Medda: I know student schedules are very busy so I won't give you any homework so you guys can focus on... Whatever you do... Homework, practices, jobs, injecting lizards with bacteria...

Katherine: I'm an advocate for highlighters I will always support highlighters

Jack: 🤨

Katherine: I support highlighters rights

Race, a scientist in the middle of a big project, exhausted out of his mind: *on the phone* honey, I- I can't watch the kids tonight. I got all these lizards to invest with bacteria and they're all dying and it's my- I did this to them

Spot, also exhausted out of his mind: And you did the kids to me you better get your ass home!

Davey: *loudly cracks his back*

Crutchie: ... BRO-

Davey, as if this happens a lot but this time in particular was bigger: That was intense

Denton, freshman academic biology teacher: It's that time of year where all the freshmen are like "I hate academic biology academic biology is so hard!" and all the sophomores taking advanced chemistry are like "I miss academic biology academic biology was so easy..." *big sigh* it's the same every year. Falls right in line with the pumpkin spice

Buttons: You can't make jokes like that, Mr. Denton

Denton: Yes you absolutely can and you should it was a good one

Davey, teaching a class: I have an occasional glass of red wine but other than that I'm not too wild

Les, a student in said class: Oh please

Davey: ...What?

Les: You heard me

Race: If you were a woman, you were a prostitute. It's what you did

Katherine: What history class are you in??

Crutchie: The sun is blindi- oh my god! What iss that??

Finch: It's new with the reset

Crutchie: What is that bright... /thing/??

Finch: It came with the latest update

Denton: Your lungs look like a carpet! A very outdated carpet, nobody makes carpet like that anymore. When I was a kid everyone's grandma had that carpet

Davey: Anyone else think that's super cool?

Everyone else: *silence*

Davey: Just lie to me

Race: Whoo!

Jack: Incredible!

Albert: So dope!

Davey: Yeah! There we go! Awesome!

Blink: Anyone? Just a piece? A little piece of inflammation?

Elmer, about Pulitzer; I don't think he sleeps.

Crutchie: Pff-

Elmer: No seriously. He responds to emails at midnight and he's at the school by 4 am. And he lives like 2 towns away.

Crutchie: Holy shit

Elmer: I know

Spot: Yeah! I got a jar and you don't!

Albert: Disgustingly gross child of Satan.

Race: Noo don't say that about yourself!

Albert: That's my dad. Satan.

Race: Oh. I mean yeah.

Race, a physics teacher: Alright! Sorry for the interruption, we were saying-....

Race: ...

Race: Position time graph! We-

Race: ...

Race: What were we talking about? Slope!

Davey: *drops paper* that's unfortunate

Sarah: What's up with that? It's like 2 pieces of paper. You can't handle 2 pieces of-

Davey: Shut the fuck up

Crutchie: Cholera! Hello!

TW SUICIDE JOKE Crutchie: You're the cell

Jack: What?

Crutchie: The cell is like "kill me please" you're the cell

Jack: :0

Davey: And then you walk into your- SNEEZE CLOUD!!!

Davey: I'm so gay, I love Crash Course with Hank Green

[consumed-by-fandom]

Every Postal 1 Voiceline cuz I’m a fucking nerd

I couldn't find any actual written collection of the voicelines from the og game, so I uh. Transcribed them myself. For no reason. So here you go if anyone wants them, and I might do redux after I play it.

Warning the list is really long so like don't click read more unless you're in a new tab or you don't mind scrolling lmao.

Taken from this very helpful video (check it out for optimal reading experience): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6usSBZeMWA

“Bleed.” (Twice)

“Let’s blow something up.”

“Buckwheat!”

“Burn.”

“Burn, baby, burn.”

“Buttsauce!”

“Smells like chicken.”

“Ooh, hole in one!”

“Sorry, I’m out of hot towels. Will this do?”

“This won’t affect my tip, will it?”

“You’re gonna need a massage after this.”

“You should’ve gone to Disneyland.”

“I could really kill for a massage right now.”

“Get ‘em, they’re stealing all the tennis balls!”

“Sorry, he checked out already.”

“Who peed in the pool?”

“Ah, alternative lifestyles.”

“Awh, rip the birthday suit.”

“Nudity is offensive.”

“Some people have no sense of decency.”

“You must be freezing, lemme warm you up.”

“Watch it wriggle, rich bastards.”

“Now do you agree that the customer is always right?”

“Forget the brown bag, you need a body bag.”

“Shut the ten items or less crap, bastard.”

“What do you mean this lane is closed? Now it is!”

“What do you mean this lane is closed? It is now!”

“I can’t stand bastards with coupons.”

“Sorry, no refunds ma’am.”

“Would you like a free sample?”

“Clean up on isle five.”

“Now that’s a blue light special!”

“Here’s your low price guarantee.”

“Proudly made in the USA, baby.”

“What do you mean you don’t take plastic?”

“What? You don’t sell Postal?” (Twice)

“Ugh, smells like sour milk.”

“Ahh, nothing like the smell of burning government cheese in the morning.”

“Listen. Can you hear the property values going up?”

“Gotta love welfare reform.”

“Do it quietly. Wouldn’t wanna wake up the neighborhood, would ya?”

“You maniacs, you blew it up! …Oh wait, that was me.”

“You should remain still when injured. Here, lemme help you.”

“What a mess… we can’t have anything nice.”

“What? You’re pinned down? Lemme help.”

“Shake it up, baby!”

“Wow, this grenade works great!”

“I’ll see you in hell. (Laughter)”

“Aww, do you have a boo-boo?”

“Eat lead, sucker!”

“Today is a good day to die!”

“The exterminator’s back!”

“You’re gonna pay for that.”

“I am the angel of death.”

“Show no mercy.”

“Damn, I’m good.”

“Death is my master.”

“Death is my friend.”

“Do you smell something burning?”

“Feel my wrath, dog.”

“Die like the dog you are.”

“Mmm, I love a good barbecue.”

“Judge, jury and executioner.”

“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

“Killing is good for the soul.”

“Die, weakling!”

“Wussy.”

“All must die.”

“Prosecution rests.”

“Case dismissed.”

“Checked out early.”

“Keep the change.”

“Satisfaction guaranteed.”

“Is there a doctor in the house?”

“Beg for this.”

“Die.” (Twice)

“Don’t be a sissy.”

“Only you can stop the evil.”

“Feel the heat.”

“Get ‘em!” (Twice)

“Going, going, gone.” (Twice)

“Good one.” (Twice)

“Going Postal.”

“Hoo-hah!”

“He’s outta there!”

“See you in hell!”

“I like it hot.”

“Kickin’ ass.”

“(Laughter)” (twice)

“They never liked you.”

“I regret nothing!”

“Oh, baby.”

“O.J!”

“Only my weapons understand me.”

“Postal.”

“Sissy.”

“Slam!”

“Ooh, did that hurt?” (Twice)

“Do it for the gibber!”

“The gun knows.”

“You’re the man.”

“Only my weapon understands me.”

“Yes!” (Twice)

[cappuccino-bear]

Hi I am poking you back lmao. I kinda recall you mentioning that Judas and Maggy knew eachother? Maybe? I might be misremembering but I’m still curious to hear your take on her. Is she the biblical Magdalene? Just a kid with her name?

yup, she's the same Magdalene as in the Bibble. All Biblical characters are the same ones, the only exception being Isaac (and Beth, but she's not mentioned as much in the Bible and is often confused for Magdalene because they're both named Mary- dear Lord this book and religion is a mess).

You'll forgive me if I ramble about her right? Right?? (/ω＼*)……… (/ω•＼*)

!!!Tw mention of transphobia, and sexual exploitation!!! (no I am not joking!)

Magdalene was pretty much facing only one of two choices when looking at her life: live as a man, being able to do whatever job she wished, living with her family but repressing something she felt would make her truly happy, or live as a woman, castet out of the bloodline, and unless she found someone willing to marry her, have to live off of sex work. Maggie, burnt out from what her life had been so far, chooses the second option, willing to fake it till she makes it.

So she contacts some other sex workers about it as soon as she runs out of the house, but unfortunately runs into some terrible people, not someone who'd help her but someone who only cared about, well, making her work. She spent months just letting herself be used, as for a time they'd told her to just hold off, that they'll give her the money, but after a while she stops believing it too. But confronting them might mean being outed to Roman Guards, or worse, the Sinagogue, so she kept quiet.

One day, a fight still breaks out, and she's being yelled and kicked and bruised by some of those people, until a group of kind strangers basically step in between them and tell them to buzz off. She's still on the ground when one of them helps her up, saying his name was Mark and asking if she's ok, if they can accompany her home. She answers she doesn't really have a home, so one of them just says "well, I suppose you'll stay with us for a while." That guy was Christian Firestar Jesus of Nazareth.

So as she stays and travels with them, Jesus helps her through the trauma and emotions that come with all that happened. He also understands that being a girl makes her happy, happier than she'd ever be staying a boy, so he sees no reason why that should be a sin against God. He tells the others this as well, and all are accepting... but Peter was having doubts about her, mostly because she got incredibly attached to Jesus, his best friend, and his mother would sometimes joke on how they'd make a nice pair if he ever wished to marry. He's jealous in a "do not steal my bro away" but Maggie never saw anything more than a dearest friend in Jesus, plus she was earnestly interested in someone else in the group (hint hint).

So yeah, Maggie saw everything from Judas' betrayal, the crucifiction, Judas' death, the resurrection, and ascension. And to be frank she was excited about the prospect of going to preach around!... until Peter started being very, incredibly condescending towards her, especially with saying that if someone found out she was gonna make all of them look bad, and they were on thin fucking ice already with the authorities. He pretty much confined her to (Mother) Mary's house, and she could not stand it. She should not listen to him, he's not Jesus, he's just an asshat that has been bitter about her since the start!

So, she tries to go back to her old line of work, at least enough to get money to actually start travelling to preach about Jesus, on her own. She tries doing it without help, but is killed by one of her client's spouse in a jealous rage. In those moments between life and death, she start fearing, truly, being alone. So when she wakes and isn't in the place her friend had described as Heaven she's, for the most part, sad. She knew she was told to follow what Peter said, and actively disregarded that, but she was not a bad person after all. Was it because of her body? Was it because of prostitution? She screamed questions in the void of Limbo, but no one answered. She hated the loneliness.

(sidenote: Limbo in this AU is a place where Souls that can neither go to Heaven not Hell go, whose who have not repented and therefore cannot go to Purgatory, but also have not commited any terrible enough sins or still had faith in their actions' holiness. It's an emboy, foggy, vast plane with absolutely nothing in it, and you'll rarely meet another person there. It's truly the place for those who don't belong.)

So she ends up in the Basement, and decides to try not to cry over herself as soon as she finds someone that isn't a mindless zombie-thing. That how she ends up meeting the others and becoming the resident big sister of the group. However, some of the trauma start to resurface again, causing her to have horrible panic attacks out of nowhere, cuz PTSD is a bitch. Luckily nobody in the group questions her gender (Isaac goes to ask her about it a lot, but mostly for tips) and they do try to help her through the panic attacks, especially Eve.

And then one day the group meets Lazarus and Bethany and they're like

and then Judas starts messing things up, and he shows up to try to take Isaac with him and she's like

The fact that Judas kidnaps her later does not help mend their relationship at first!

Also her Yum Heart is, in fact, a whole ass heart, and the blood drawn from it helps to cure wounds. It's missing a chunk cuz she was not sure what to do with it at first. Hey, experimenting works （*゜��゜*）

Sooo yeah I'd talk more but I don't wanna fill everything with spoilers, what I will say is that she gets comfy socks and a bigass shield in the end!

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 2x16

the aftermath of caleb's surprise party. does my guy even get to celebrate his birthday? don't do surprise parties in rosewood, just don't.

The liars appear to be back at Spencer’s house, not the lakehouse, as they debrief the missing Lucas situation, and I am so distracted by the absence of Caleb

Don’t get me wrong, PLL is at its best when the men don’t matter, but from Caleb’s PoV, he showed up to a surprise birthday party where his girlfriend dragged herself out of the lake, the guy whose house he’s living in is missing, and he uh, did not stick around to question the girls?

A took the opportunity to fill Hanna’s water bottle with lakewater. Gross.

Hanna tells the girls that Lucas destroyed Alison’s memorial — sometimes PLL slow walks reveals in frustrating ways, but here is an example that makes sense, where Hanna would not disclose this secret

Spencer: Well, my family never uses that house after LABOR DAY

Okay, no she doesn’t yell LABOR DAY like that but that’s all I can hear when anyone ever says that phrase in this show

Maya’s crisis hotline call joke is funny to me. In the same courtyard that Emily yelled at Aria for having sex dreams about Jason, Emily’s like well, Maya, say something dirty then. 

Emily confidently says she can get a fake ID for Maya and later we learn what she means is that she can snag Aria’s because bouncers in Jersey concert venues are so blind that all short brunettes look alike. Sure. 

Caleb is ready to be a good bro and chase down Lucas, Ashley wants to call Lucas’s parents because her daughter threw the party and the whole time Hanna is like guys, what’s the big deal, can’t we all forget about the guy I knocked overboard with an oar???

My favourite A message this episode is with the fucking boat in the overflowing sinks of the school bathroom, where A texts

Life is but a dream, Hanna. And I'm your worst nightmare.

Maya ditches Emily at the call center (again, this is her community service punishment, why can she bring guests over) because of mysterious texts and Emily is conflicted on asking her

I’m just grateful this leads to Emily actually discussing a girlfriend with a liar for longer than one sentence, it’s been a minute. Even if that conversation is basically

Hanna: It sucks keeping a secret! 😤 Emily: Well, it sucks having a secret kept from you.😟

The Sparia scene in Philly where they follow up on the receipt is so odd. They take ten years to realize the newsstand right in front of them is the store they’re looking for, Aria is supposedly on house arrest outside of Holden dates but is gallivanting with Spencer here, and then, when Aria ditches her....

Spencer sees more than one blind person and you can see her eyes go ALERT ALERT ALERT SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR ALERT ALERT

She just starts randomly following blind people?? Till she gets to the blind people school???  And it is indeed the school Jenna went to??? She has a conversation with some guy who thought Jenna was the raddest girl ever???? She steals a visitor log?????

The blind school receptionist is played by Symmetra from Overwatch, is my only other note on this scene. Weird to realize that when this episode aired Overwatch was three years away. 

Emily and Aria are at Hanna’s house while a storm rages on and are like...well...we guess we could stay and ditch our dates to keep you company while you are terrified of Lucas showing up like an axe murderer...and Hanna is like nah, I’m good. 

As Aria leaves she reminds Hanna “SOS okay”. (1) Oh so it’s not just a Spencer thing anymore, they’ve all agreed on it. (2) Aria, you are going to a play! Your phone better be turned off! No checking your texts during a play, I know Byron and Ella raised you better than smh

Rosewood’s train station (or the closest one to it) is in a slightly more run down area than the rest of the town, and Spencer gets jumpscared by Mona.

Is this the first time we’ve ever seen Spencer uh,  care about Mona? Spencer is the liar whose affection and loyalty is drawn most tightly, whose circle of compassion is limited to the liars, her SO, and her family.

Mona: Do you know how hard I have to work to get a guy like Noel Kahn to go out with me?

Spencer: Well, if you’ve become the Mona you want to be, why are you letting Noel Kahn tell you that you’re not good enough? You cannot let him send you spinning backwards like that.

Mona: You’re, like, smart smart. I always thought you were just book smart.

Spencer is genuine in her vehemence here, it’s not a pretense

Aria should have just stayed home with Hanna, the slo-mo Ezria staring at the theatre made me want to gag. Of course Holden noticed.

Emily makes a face of biphobia when Maya says “he” referring to her stalker ex and you know Maya does not even think of that possibly being an issue, I am glad she is still the same Maya post-wilderness camp

The big Lucas reveal is that....he got into sports gambling and lost Caleb’s money? I’m sorry, what. I completely forgot this subplot. 

Somehow Hanna is madder about this than Caleb. Caleb is clearly pissed off but he’s also like, we’ll work it out bro, meanwhile Hanna is dramatically going “I don’t know who you are” and that’s the last of Lucas we see for the next few episodes

Don’t get me wrong, yelling on a boat while there’s only two of you or creeping into someone’s house? Very inappropriate behaviour, but that does not seem to be what Hanna is mad about. Strange.

Also Ashley Marin is taking a bath and hears none of this shit go down, must be a good bath.

Garrett checked Jenna out the night of Ali’s murder. Wasn’t she 15/16 then? Is this blind school checking out minors to people who aren’t parents or guardians? Wild-ass behaviour

Worms in your chinese food! Worms in your chinese food! Terrible!

This does not appear to be themed on anyone's secret, A had this idea on the backburner and simply had to let it out.

[061801]

My life is so excitingly scary right now. I know I'm going through a new chapter in life. I've tried to explain to my friends how I'm feeling and I just don't understand my feelings enough to explain it. It's like, I'm very proud of myself for the changes I've been making. I'm very thankful for the shit I've went through the past 6-7 months because it has taught me to appreciate my life so much more. As I'm progressing I'm realizing I'm not okay with certain things anymore. One thing I do understand and can clearly think about is how much I hate living with my sister. I love her, and I want to keep loving her. Living with her is much different and don't get me wrong I knew it wasn't going to be great. I actually expected worse. But things that bug me are like how I walk into my entrance of the house and there's tons of shit stacked or thrown right in front of the door so I have to like step by step by everything and I can barely get myself through the entrance to the stairs because they just piled everything right in front of the door. Like I don't get why you would fucking do that. Secondly they throw shit like puke rags and I've even seen doggy poop bags thrown by my door like yes I get you don't want those things in your part of the house so sure just throw it in front of ashleys part so its out of our way but she can deal with it. if I did that shed be screaming at me for not thinking of everybody's feelings and being LOGICAL. I am completely understanding of them having to get up early to get the kids ready but tell me why I hear someone pick something up, drop it, pick it up, drop it, pick it up, drop it, pick it up, drop it, pick it up, drop it and they just let it happen. like I actually do not understand what is going on when that happens. Countless pieces of my clothes go missing and the famous line is "idk you were drunk last night" like dawg ive been wasted doing my laundry and never in my life have I ever lost more than like 2 things in a span of a year even. I've lost over 15 pieces of clothing in less than a year. AND IVE FOUND SOME OF IT UPSTAIRS WITH HER STUFF. I ask her why its up there and she goes "oh I thought It was s/s' (my niece, I just don't want to put her name online) so im like ok when u figured out it wasn't yours, you didn't think to give it back to me? The laundry room is a complete fucking shit show. They keep stacking boxes outside my room too when the laundry room IS RIGHT NEXT TO IT. OR like they did today, they stacked some pretty much in the fucking way to get to the washer and dryer, and then they have their bike on the other side so its like a death trap trying to get to and from it. Meanwhile they have a gigantic room to put their fucking shit in instead of literally right next to the washer and dryer. I bought oxy powder and I never used it and tell me why the container was completely empty. I don't know what it is but I never say anything because she is the type of person to lie to her grave before she admits she did something and it never gets anywhere and then makes things worse. If I confront her I know its going to be a very chaotic and eventful day. And on top of that if I do need anything from her it'll be awkward. I choose to keep the peace and know in the back of my head I'll change my situation soon because tbfh idk why I need to tell someone they shouldn't steal my fucking things :')

[pacifymebby]

Ohh if you’re still doing astrology readings, I’d love one ☺️

Leo sun

Aquarius moon

Taurus rising

Hello lovely yes I'd love to give you some thoughts!!!! I'll try my best and totally feel free to tell me how right or wrong I am haha

🌼 always got kinda fiery sign vibes from you but I'd have erred on the side of Sagitarius so that shows how good at this I am haha

✨ Leos are generally very strong, of heart, mind, passion, courage... This is lame and sorry for bringing Her Silly Books up, but I always think that She based the harry potter houses on the signs, and she had stupid biases and stereotypes too (though let's be real her astrological biases are the least concerning thing about her) anyway Gryfindors are all fire signs and harry is a fucking stupid Leo stereotype (and actually is a Leo I've just found out haha)

🌼 anyways bad leo stereotypes are like "full of themselves" "scared to let anyone else be center of attention" but like I don't think Leo's are like that at all, the only reason I bought up the books at all is because colour scheme, and "brave/loyal" is very Leo and I think that's the only thing she reallyyyy gets right there lol.

✨ specifically that their bravery often stems from a deep devotion to their friends and passions... Leo's are always pinned as entitled, like they'll claim things or a stage or take over a conversation or push in on someone else's relationship because they feel "entitled" to it but it's more that like, if the situation requires courage to take what they know they need then they will take it and they won't be meek about it either...

🌼 I do know some pretty bad Leo's who have the "sabotage others because they're scared they are a threat" stereotype going hard but generally thats impacted by the rest of the chart and I would always say that it's not something thats intrinsically Leo, it would be crazy to tar all those Leo's like that... The very same thing that can lead to Leo's being that way is the thing that makes them such true and noble friends.

✨ Aquarius moon in fact probably makes you more of a reliable, honest and pure hearted friend. Aquarius is quite egalitarian and so you may find it makes you the kind of friend who likes to help others in anyway you can... You're a go the extra mile kind of friend (or the proclaimers 500 miles if you wish haha)

🌼 potentially impulsive and dramatic when it comes to showing your friends and loved ones how much they mean to you... By dramatic I kind of mean accidentally dramatic, or it feels dramatic to you but because of your Aquarius moon making you quite shy to admit certain emotions, you sometimes think holding hands is embarrassing lol

✨ though you might come off a little aloof, aquarius is kind of awkward/shy, Leo is like royalty so just naturally holds your chin up and gives you that confidence to elevate you above others... And Taurus rising is definitely in conflict with your Leo sun, and again like aquarius, a more low-key vibe? Taurus can come off as shy but it's because they're comfortable with the quieter, more humble life.

🌼 I think maybe people who don't know you will see you as being reserved or hard to read, because your Taurus and Aquarius will be concealing your fire sign quite a lot. However when people get to know you you're an unstoppable friend like, just kind of crazy?

✨ I can imagine that in a conversation with people you know and trust and have good vibes from (aquarius is super vibes sensitive lol) you'll really light up and steal the conversation, everyone loves to hear your stories/jokes and opinions. You have a way of delivering them which makes people gasp and then laugh haha.

🌼 but also I think between your Taurus and your Aquarius you'd be certain to just drop people you don't fuck with or people you get bad vibes from. Also that Leo as well, people who bring you or your friends are getting dropped and left behind.

[slautertm]

this was supposed to be nothing more than some... entertainment. reasonable entertainment- she has to do something while she is going through this over and over and over again. the mortal is clever, maybe the smartest person she's encountered in sometime and certainly the most humorous which is part of the issue. he's so... different from both the person she expected him to be. his intelligence is obvious, it's one of the reasons she started hanging around him in the first place- for one wanting someone to help her do some of this work because fuck it got repetitive, but also wanting to see if he would question things about her, about this town. much to her own denial, though, things have been... different, seemingly more difficult and seemingly all too quickly for her liking.

there is something to peter spankoffski- maybe it's the fact that he is more than the smartest person she is sure she's ever met, he's funny. really, actually funny, and he makes her feel warm... alive, which is something she has not felt in years. along with other things it pulls her closer to him and what started as a game quickly turning into something that she is in denial about as she all but clings to time she could spend with him, all the while cursing herself for seeking it out in the first place. it's not a game, so she should not get involved, not for 'study help', not for a quick chat in class or inbetween, and she especially should not have asked him to walk with her after but she can't stop herself... hungry for company, for presence, for him, though not in a way she is used to. and so hungry she forgets about the aching hunger inside of her almost every day of her extraordinary long life. it's a tragic hunger, she'll be gone in less than a year, nothing in her head should come to be, but, much like her other hunger, she cannot help herself.

the late fall air is a sort of balm, though her head is already counting down and dreading the ticking time passing by till she would have to return to the empty mansion sized house that has never and would never be her home. there was only so many hours she could steal from him, especially like this- it feels like they're the only two people in hatchetfield for a moment which is... a bittersweet thing. she knows what lurks in the dark, but she also knows that she's here and she would at least hopefully be able to do something if the hatchetfield horrors came to bite. her mind is far from that, though, instead focusing in part on subtitles, on how to blend in, pulling her flannel in closer to try and feign a chill, but mostly on him.

she can hear the public librarian lock the doors of the building behind them, having managed to stay until close. stealing a quick glance in his direction, steph smiles a little bit to herself before taking in a breath that she does not need to of the fall air around them, making sure she breathes it out softer. " thank you, for the study session, we really lost track of time there, didn't we? " everyone else at this hour is either at the game or by now heading to an after party, her phone buzzes in her pocket again and again and has been for the past ten minutes, probably texts and calls asking where she is but she does not even reach for it and could care less right now. " i didn't mean to take up like your whole night or anything, which is sorta rhetorical i know, because i am about to ask if you if you'll take a walk with me? "she looks back at him, a bit of a smirk on her lips as she winks briefly. " or a drive somewhere, see if anything is open. i just-" want to spend more time with you- words left unsaid but she is sure that they linger in her eyes. " don't want this night to be over just yet. plus i do think i owe you something. " nothing comes for free, especially not in hatchetfield. she knows this better than anyone.

@dorkustm ~~~ one muse is a supernatural creature who falls for the other, who is a mortal !

[androgynousblackbox]

Following up with this line of thinking, I am also more than a little tired about how everyone won't stop bringing up the background of the director of Saltburn to say that there is no real examination or class or that is a failure at portraying the high class as anything but "vapid but nice". Like, to see it reduced merely to this "fear of the high social class for those pesky social climber that will come to suck us dry and take our stuff", because, and maybe this is truly just me, it doesn't come across that way? Like, to me this is the story of a man that is obssesed with being loved. By Felix at start, for sure, but then on getting the things he thinks will make people love him. Because he is a akward little weirdo that unless he has an agenda can't interact with people to save his fucking life, and everyone can fucking see that, he recognizes that part of himself and go "oh, but if I had that money and that property and that title then people will like me, then I will be someone worth loving". On that scene at the party two guys are talking about Felix right after he took some girl from one of them. One of them ask why that always happen, what do girls look on him, and the other answers something like "get yourself a title and a castle and they will chase you too". Ollie is literally there, he hears that and later sees Felix having sex with that girl. To me that communicates the idea that Ollie is internalizing that Felix has something that allowed that interaction to happen, that made that girl prefer him over that guy, and it has to be with that class. It's not so much about the "middle class wanting to scalate" so much as this guy being so fucked up, so intrinsically and genuinely broken, but still so desperate to be loved, that he is willing to steal whatever is around him in order to try to find that love. He lies to his parents so they will keep loving him, he lies to Felix because he thinks that is what Felix wants to hear, he lies to himself that if he just gets more power, if he becomes like Felix, if he has this stuff, maybe people will love him like they did Felix. Fuck, he probably lied to the counselor at the start about reading all those books because that is what he thought a counselor would like hearing about. I don't even know if he actually needs glasses or he just uses them because hey, this is a university or whatever, so I should look like smart people look in order to fit in. My guy has no fucking sense of identity at all so he keeps searching for external things, like validation from others, for that. And it bothers the fuck out of me when people also say that his motivations are all over the place or make no sense, because to me it's pretty clear that he is always trying to fill a void that ultimate still remain void. Because fucking congratulations man, you won the house! And nothing else! You have no friends, no family, fucking no one to see you dance naked. This is your place and you will probably die here alone because, even after all of this, nobody knows you or loves you. You got everything you wanted and an entire life to see that is still never going to be enough.

Am I wrong? Is it the issue that I look at it from a character story degradation stand point rather than a anti-elite narrative? Like, as it is, the elite here are trash, I am sorry. They are careless, selfish, vapid and have no sense of real humanity for them. The tragedies of other are just conversation topics, shiny toys to entertain themselves and nothing else, and like, how the fuck can you say that is just "rude at worst"? How can you see the mother literally blaming Pamela for potentially getting herself killed, at the hands of a known abuser they just did nothing to help her with once kicked out, and think "rude" instead of "fuck you"? These people are completely disconnected from the entire world that they don't see others as real people. Like the whole sequences after they find Felix's dead body is horrifying for me, and it should be for the viewer too I think, when they literally just close the windows and pretend like nothing happened. "Oh, well, it's a british high class thing", and that makes it okay? Is that just "rude but ultimately nice people"? Because to me, everything about them screams fucking aliens who will never, ever, care about anyone but themselves and that is fucked up. I don't want to ever associate with people like that. I know people like that and I don't ever interact with them voluntarely. I can deal with "sometimes rude" people, these fuckers are on another level and I am just confused as to how you can tell me that they are not.

Sometimes I feel like the only person who loves seeing media critiquing capitalism, talking about class, and just don't like at all the Menu. Like, I saw a video of someone saying that the movie is really about violence and how "if you want a violent revolution, then you are just as bad as the people who want to exterminate you", and I also don't vibe that, but also I don't really buy into the whole "oh, this movie is about destroying the elite and literally eating the rich", like.... I can see parts of that, but more than anything is... meh. I still think it's kinda weak even after seeing reaction and review videos from people who do actually work on that industry, who understood the little nuances behind the dishes and what not. I guess my biggest issue is the main guy. Like, he makes this huge fucking deal about how he has come to hate everything he does, about how he wants to punish the people who don't appreciate his work, who are so filthy rich that take it for granted, and I am here like but, my guy, you are part of this industry too. You made it so the people who work with you in this bullshit island idea have no life outside of this. You created this shit. Nobody forced you into doing this. You made this hell. You put yourself on it. Why should I root for you to take it out on people who did nothing to you? Taking it back to that "this movie is about violence on both side of social conflict", fuck that shit because oppressed people did fuck all to be on that position. They didn't choose to live that life and they did nothing to deserve it. This guy literally couldn't have done anything to reach that place that wasn't his own will. So I am fucking ass confused as to WHY people are taking this movie as some kind of "fuck you" to the elite class, when the "fuck you" comes from a part of the elite that prefers to do anything before going to therapy? Like the first death is an angel investor and like, sincerely, just why is this guy being punished for giving you the money for this stupid bullshit you wanted to make? I just never get a sense that either he or the movie is aknowledging this? Like, what, I am supposed to feel bad because making a simple cheeseburger is fulfilling for him and he forgot that while he was making those fancy ass dishes? Why was just giving up this island bullshit and getting your own restaurant with cheesburgers not an option here? "Uh but then we wouldn't have the movie" doesn't cut it for me. Why are we treating this like a tragedy that just happened to this guy, and that is why he has a right to lash out, instead of just his own fucking choices? And like, if you tell me "my guy, this is just a horror movie. It's supposed to be unhinged. If every serial killer went to therapy instead of doing unhinged evil things we won't have a genre anymore" and like, fine, sure, but then why are people treating it like it's something bigger than that? Why I see so many people being on the side of this guy or even rooting for him? I don't get it, I truly don't.

Like, when he starts monologuing about why everyone is going to die and he just shit in John Leguizamo because he did a bad movie that he went to see on his one free day, I am just like bitch, you are your own boss. You did that to yourself. And you can watch more than one movie in a day? He didn't want that role either, the fuck are you on about. Maybe that is just part of the comedy, it's supposed to be just one joke about how truly petty and nonsensical this bullshit has turned into, which like good, fun, but then that really clashes with that being on his side. I don't want to be on the side of a guy who shits on actors for just doing their job with bad scripts they didn't write. It's confusing to me seeing people saying "this movie is a true criticism of class while something like Saltburn is not" and maybe that is the thing about art, that everyone is supposed to have different interpretations and tastes and whatever, but I feel like a fucking alien seeing this kind of discourse pop out because I just fundamentally disagree with it. I don't even know if it's a me thing that I don't understand or it's a gringo thing somehow? I don't know, it's weird.

[drakenology]

the yakuza wife - yakuzaboss!bakugo x housewife reader - inspired by @hanji-is-life ‘s sexy ass. 

yakuza au

tw: violence, sadism, mentions of blood, smut, cum, cussing, daddy/ddlg kinks undertones, mentions of guns, very much harley quinn and joker only joker actually loves harley in this ya know?

“where the fuck is my money?” bakugo asks this bludgeoned man tied up to a metal chair in some god forsaken warehouse god only knows where. 

“please sir, i’ll get it to you as soon as I can! please stop!” the man pleads, flinching when bakugo raises his fist to land a mean left hook into his jaw with a dark chuckle. 

“you know you shouldn’t borrow from people if you have no intentions in payin’ em back. it’s fuckin’..” he pauses before taking a crowbar and bashing the man in both his knees, blood curdling screams filling the empty space. “rude!”

bakugo smirks as the man begs for mercy, pulling a set of pliers of his pocket and holding them up to the man’s face to tease him, grabbing by his neck to make him meet his intimidating gaze. 

“shoulda thought of that before trying to playing me for a fuckin’ fool.. hey, I wonder how many teeth I can pull outta ya before your weak ass passes out.” he grunts, waving the plier in his face until the sound of his phone ringing stops him from doing anything.

“you’re lucky I gotta take this.” he mumbles, taking a piece of dirty cloth and shoving it into his mouth to keep him quiet.

bakugo turns away and rolls up his sleeve, setting up his tools for torture as he answers the phone. 

“hi baby!” you chime, at the mall having the time of your life with his credit card. 

“hey. ‘m workin’ whaddaya want?” he says, holding up his pliers and sitting them down on the table as his hostage screams in the background. 

“just checking on you, dummy! whatcha want for dinner, hm? i know you haven’t eaten yet.” you say, holding up different dresses to your frame to imagine yourself in them. “hey, pink or powder blue?”

“pink. and ‘m not hungry. you’ve got security with you, right baby?” he asks, kicking the man onto the floor with a loud thud. 

“of course. you won’t let me leave the house without them.” you respond, not even paying attention to the muffled screams you hear in the background. you’ve learned not to ask too many questions when it comes to being a yakuza wife. 

“gotta keep my baby safe, right? listen, princess I gotta go. i’ll be home before 9 okay?” 

you suck your teeth and roll your eyes, “fine. be careful okay?”

“always am. love you baby.” as he hangs up and returns to his task. 

the difference between you and katsuki was night and day. everyone knew you to be so sweet and kind; unbeknownst to them all how you ended up with a cretin like Bakugo. even though Katsuki was immoral in many ways, he knew marrying you was the right thing to do. who else would want to dress his wounds and pick out his suits for the day?

katsuki demanded you quit your job. in fact he came with you to put in your two weeks notice, tough scowl staining his features as your boss signed the approval with shaking hands.

from that day on he ensured you were well taken care of and that marrying him and becoming his housewife came with many perks.

for starters, your husband was loaded. all those years of extorting and money laundering paid off every time you come home with a couple shopping bags from the mall.

katsuki loved lavishing you in the finest of everything, adoring how you look in designer. so much so, he fucks you by the bay window of your luxury penthouse, the Chanel dress he just bought you hiked up over your ass as his calloused fingers make way into your mouth. you’re pinned to the glass, bare breasts pressed against the window as he railed you from behind. and he wonders why you turned out to be a spoiled brat.

your gifts always made you stand out above the rest. many men fawn over you and he knows this. just a small price to pay for having a fine ass wife. but if anyone ever forgot their place, if anyone ever got to close. well. that’d be the last time you’d ever see them. course you have no idea why. but even though katsuki loved you with all his heart, you could be a real pain in the ass. you were so bratty, especially when he was busy. 

one day you came trotting into his office in the middle of some business deal. whatever. your jimmy choos popped and you needed a new pair before the yacht party you were attending started. 

“daddy’s taking care of business right now, okay? go wait outside.”

“no! you promised we’d go shopping! I need new shoes what the fuck am I supposed to do with these?” you whine, pouting like usual to get your way. bakugo’s brow raised, walking towards you and gesturing for the meeting to continue without him. his hand rested on your lower back as he escorted you out.  

he fucked your brains in in the next room for disobeying him, panties around your ankles, your charm anklet jingling as he picked up your legs. 

“spoiled fuckin’ brat. told you to wait didn’t I? hm? or did you make a scene ‘cause you wanted my dick?” your head hangs back as your hips are held down by him, thrusts brutal as you cry for him to slow down, face turned away from his. he grabs your chin and turns you around harshly with his scarred and calloused hands, bruised knuckles turning white with a tight grip. 

“look at me when i’m fuckin’ talkin’ to you.” 

he came inside you when he was done, pulling your panties up for you as it dripped down your leg. 

“now.. back to what I was doin’. tell the driver to take your ass home.” he huffs with a zip of his pants and a shake in his sleeves to fix them. bakugo leaves you on the desk, leaving the door cracked for you to leave when you got yourself together. and when you did you could hardly hold yourself up, holding your high heels in your hand as you limp to the car waiting outside for you. 

having a yakuza boss as a husband was always exciting. something in you liked the danger; the thrill.

you tell this tale to your other socialite girlfriends and they almost never believe you.

you were out with bakugo on a date when work called. to your dismay, he had to get up and leave. you insisted on being brought along, hating being left alone in that big house that was often empty without him. he agreed but only if you promised to be quiet like a good little girl. 

when you arrive at some warehouse (the same one mentioned earlier), a man was already hog tied on the ground, muffled screams behind a piece of duck tape as bakugo ripped it off. you sat by a table, legs folded in annoyance. this interrupted date night? you scoff and fold your arms. 

“ah. good seeing you old friend. remember me?” he asks, taunting him a little with a gun in his hand pressing it against his jaw as the man let out muffled pleas for him not to shoot. 

“you tried stealing from me. fuckin’ idiot. my boys caught you in some hotel with your little girlfriend. did you think you were gonna have a victory fuck after you made off with my money, hm?” bakugo asks, hitting him upside the head with the butt of his pistol.

you jump at the sound of the blow, a small part of you turned on watching your husband beat the crap out of a complete stranger. your pussy starts to ache when you peer over at bakugo’s strong tattooed arms as he flung his jacket aside, rolling his white sleeves up to ensure his expensive suit doesn’t get soiled. 

“oh fuck, where are my manners? this is my lovely wife, y/n. say hi baby.” he coos at you, a switch from rough to gentle when he spoke to you. you smile and wave, the hostage sobbing out a weak greeting when bakugo demands him to. 

“anyways. what’d you do with the money, asswipe? gonna tell me or are you gonna make me fuck you up in front of my pretty wife. god, look at ‘er, ain’t she gorgeous? you know I was about 30 minutes from railing her before you had to go along and ruin our night. I should kill you right here.” bakugo turns his head towards you with a sick look in his eye. 

“whaddaya think, princess? what should I do to this motherfucker, huh?” he asks. 

“smack him again. he ruined date night.” you grumble, folding your arms. 

“he sure did, baby.” bakugo says, punching the hostage in his jaw. he gestured for his men to crowd around him, all of them taking turns kicking and beating him with metal bars. katsuki walks towards you and pulls you into a passionate kiss, a bit of blood on his knuckles as he pulled your hair. god, this whole situation was sick. but why was it so hot?

bakugo carries you away to the car, tells the driver to fuck off somewhere while he rails you in the back seat, knowing his men will take care of the rest of what he started inside the warehouse. you straddle his lap, bouncing up and down on his stiff cock as the car rocked back and forth. the car windows fog up as your body heat commingled throughout the space, your hands pressing against the glass to gain to balance as you rode his fat cock. 

“fuck, daddy. you’re so hot when you’re handling business. ooh, you’re dick’s so hard.” you purr, bakugo’s hand pinching and playing with your breast as his hips thrust upwards. He smirks at you, almost a bit shocked you got as turned on as he did from the pain he inflicted.

“hmm, I know baby. god, you’re sick. getting this wet from watching me beat up some punk. dirty fuckin’ girl.” he huffed into your hair, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck followed by harsh nibbles.

truth is even though you were so sweet and caring, you had a dark side no one knew about. I mean why else would you marry into the yakuza? 

you were both fucking insane. 

[marksbear]

Thanks bear and yes its true. Am a slut for hot men being dicked down. But how about something different how about sub Steven grant and he sending nudes and videos to reader while at work which leads to Steven getting recorded while he sucking reader off and being called a slut.-🐻‍❄️

Here you go 🐻‍❄! Enjoy love! And thank you for your request I look forward to your request everyday. Anyways enjoy the porn- I mean story

WARNINGS! HARD SMUT, hair puling, business man reader, public masturbating,slut, slapping,phone sex, dildos, skull fucking, Dom reader, Recording, and talks about past sex videos, recording a sex video. and etc.

STEVEN GRANT X MALE READER

Y/n has been at work for the past fourteen hours. And Steven has been counting every second of it. Waiting for Y/n to get on his lunch break. Everyday Steven sends pictures of themselves once the other is on their lunch break.

Today Steven had a no work day and he wanted to spend time with Y/n but he had to work. Y/n works as a stockbroker at one of those wolf of wall street types Stratton Oakmont in its prime type of business. He was the owner so he was respected and very busy but always missed boring meetings to go hang with Steven.

Sometimes he'll send one of his workers or his assistants to go to his house or museum or wherever Steven is at to check on him and buy him something to eat.

But the downside of their routine is people are always wanting to talk to Y/n during his break trying to get a promotion. Of course Y/n sends the fake people out but the real ones who're actually trying to get to know him talk too much in his opinion.

Today is one of those days during lunch "Learn things about the boss!" Today and there are like thirty people in your office trying to talk to you. You had your headphones not even bothering to make an effort that you're listening to. Looking at your phone eating your lunch. Only looking up once in a while to make sure they ain't stealing or killing each other. You see the reminder you set to send Steven a picture of you. "How do I look?" You ask looking at all of them. The whole room goes silent looking at you examining you. They all give you praise and roll your eyes. "Someone gets Jenny shes always honest with me." Everyone tries to get out once trying to find jenny. Once some one finds her you ask her do I look. She eyes you up and down and says you look messy but good. The response makes you smile and praise her for her honestly.

You look at the mirror one last time before sending Steven a picture of yourself. You hype yourself up in your mind saying that you should be a model. You giggle to yourself and make everyone look at you. "What! All of your lunch break is over to get back to work." A chorus of yes sirs leave the room leaving you by yourself. You get up from your chair and walk around making sure everything is in the right spot and nothing is missing. You hear a buzz from your phone and walk over to it picking it up and clicking on the picture to see what Steven is doing. It's Steven wearing your boxers loosely while their cum stains on it and cum all over him. You were about to text him but before you did he sent you another picture. It was his fingering his whole while jerking off.

You begin to get hard in your pants and walk over to your door and yell "Keep out!" and slam it locking and closing the blinds to be extra careful. You walk back to your desk and send Steven a picture of your hard on. Steven had seen it as soon as you sent. He sent you a video of himself sucking the dildo you bought for him when y'all had yall's first date. Most people would had thought you were crazy but you didn't care you wanted the old or sex talk out of the way in your relationship. The thought of him keeping for all this time made you dick throb. Before you were dating you'll just find a desperate female worker or man you didn't care much to solve this problem. But now since you're in a pretty deep commitment to him planning to propose cheating is out the window. Steven sent you a video on the dildo deepthroating it while he played with his hole.

You keep replaying the video over and over listening to it and imagining it's you that hes sucking. Well you started to record yourself jerking off and groaning his name as you imagined his mouth sucking your cock dry. Once you were satisfied with the video you stopped recording but you didn't stop fucking yourself. You set your phone down and started to close your eyes focusing about Steven's body and how it reacts to your cock. Oh god at this point you were rubbing your cock onto your desk for extra friction. Your phone buzzed and picked it up fast looking to see what he sent. It was him riding the dildo screaming your name and moaning your name and cum flying out his cock. Some of the cum landed on the phone and even more than before on his stomach and thighs. You begin to wonder how much Steven is masturbating. It's only been a few hours you look at what time it is and you gasp. What the hell fourteen hours. You slapped yourself in the face to stay up for too long. You shock your head. This is not the time. You'll make it up later but right now you gotta focus on cumming. You start to replay and stare at all of the pictures and videos. But the one when Steven sucking on the dildo makes you cum on the dot.

Once you come out of your heaven you clean yourself up and the desk. You fix your clothes and hair and pick up your keys and your other things like wallet,phone and ID. You walk out of the office and tell your right man to take care of everything. You find your driver and ask him to take you home. Once he drops you off you walk into the house closing and locking the door. You strip off everything besides your boxers. And leave it in a random corner. You make sure to bring your phone and walk around the house looking for your bf. Once you find him you see him jerking off to some of your older and new nudes you sent him at the start and weeks ago of your relationship. "We should make a new album once I propose." Your voice scares him and makes him jump and yelp "Y/n! h-hi! You said your g-gonna propose when?" You laugh and walk over to him raising his chin up "I can't believe you pulled a stunt like that. Really sending me a nude at work like the slut you are." You slap his face lightly laughing. "What if my workers saw and saw how slutty their boss bf is huh? And they all get their panties or boxers wet because of my whore of a bf." You look down at him with dominating eyes while he looks up at them looking pretty and almost like an angel. "Thats your dream fantasy huh slut? Looking so pretty to other people but they can't touch you because you belong to me. Do you belong to me Stevey?" Steveny shakes his head yes. "Good boy."

"Now I want you to suck on my cock like you did to the dildo. Okay boy?? Now go!" Steven does as he told pulling down your boxers fast taking your cock down his throat with no hesitation. You begin your record Steven laughing. "Welcome to Mr Steven Grant future l/n first porn video." The truth is this isn't the first time Steven has done this. It's one of your guys things that brings you closer. Surprisingly Steven had brought it hope at first you didn't trust it since you are a celebrity and well respected and honestly better than Tony stark business man but soon you didn't even care you loved being filmed and doing the recording. You two have days of footage of the other or both of you together. Steven's favorite one of them is your first time being powered bottomed like your first ever time was with him. And you were a moaning sobbing mess. You even called him daddy. But he hides the video from you since you would kill him you found out. Your favorite one of him that you was fucking him at some charity. But you did it in the owners office of the charity. You asked the owner if you can record the meeting she said yes but you were really recording Steven riding your cock in the meeting on your lap.

Steven was growing tired and you noticed so being the good bf you are you took control. Taking him by his curls yanking his head down and up on your cock. "Look at the young porn star letting the guest fuck his mouth without mercy." You say zooming in on his face. "Did y'all know the Y/n L/n boyfriend is a total slut and cocksleeve for him?" Y/n pulls out his cock from his boyfriend's mouth and slaps his face with his cock with a few laughs. "Now watch as the L/n cock split his throat in half." You say to the camera opening Stevens mouth with your hand and placing it back onto his head. You snap your hips forward hitting the back of his throat holding him still. His wet nose touching your stomach and his hands scratching your thighs hard enough to scar. You begin to face fuck him even faster when you feel your orgasm nearing "Fucking h-hell your slutty throat is gonna make me cum!" "Ah fuck" Stevens eyes roll backwards when he taste the salty liquid. You cum deep in his throat recording his every move. You pull out and finish off your load on his face. You take off your underwear and throw it in some random corner in the room.

Steven lays on his back trying to catch his breath while cumming onto his stomach. You record him as he runs down his high. You record what his face,thighs, and stomach looks like and walking around the room showing the camera all of the toys Steven had been using when you were at work. "And look what the slut did to my underwear its cover in cum! And my pillow! Hes such a slut!" You show the camera your boxers and your pillow. "Look at my thighs they're bleeding!" You laugh and walk towards the bathroom starting bathwater you set up the camera leaving and you come back to Steven who's almost about to pass out and getting into bath placing him on your lap kissing his shoulders.

"I Love you Mr l/n" You say kissing his neck. Steven hums a "I love you too" relaxing onto your lap.

THE END

I love you all-love papa bear

[lollypopsx]

Flatmate! Harry: I’ll Make It Up To You - Part 1

Warnings: Swearing, slight angst 

Please like if it’s not too shabby, reblog for anyone who may enjoy this and follow if you want to see more! Any suggestions are happily taken for future writing! I love you all! be safe and be kind x

Part 2 - Part 3

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You was going to kill him. This was the last straw and you had used up every ounce of patience today.

“Harry Edward Styles! Get in here right now or I swear to fucking god you won’t ever breath again!” You shout, your hands clutching the towel wrapped around your body. Your hair styled in a bouncy blow dry with a full face of makeup, a brown smoky eye and a nude lip.

The two of you bicker and argue like enemies, laugh like the best of friends and love each other like a married couple. Although you were only flat mates and nothing had ever gone further than friends, you knew Harry would never see you in that way, however the tiniest part of you had always hoped one day you’d be proven wrong. But you knew all along you’d rather have him as a best friend than lose him all together.

You hear the footsteps round the corner and a grin like the Cheshire Cat plastered on Harrys face “Do you mind? I’m trying to write some music Y/N” he smirks.

“Where the hell are all my clothes?! And where the fuck is my guitar?!” You shout angrily. You were no stranger to practical jokes in this house, both giving and receiving them. But today was different. You had the most important audition of your lifetime, and half of your room had been emptied. 

The laughter escaping Harry’s lips was making you angrier and angrier by the second. “I told you that you’d regret stealing my jumpers!” He smirks.

“That doesn’t mean you take everything I own! Now where to hell is it all?!”

“Ah now you see…this is where it gets fun…you see we’ve made you a little scavenger hunt to find it all. All you have to do is-”

“We?! Who’s we?!” You growl through gritted teeth.

“Ok ok…I can’t take all the credit for this…Niall helped. So…here’s the rules!”

“Harry!” You cut him off “I don’t have time for a fucking scavenger hunt! I have my audition in an hour and I’m already running late! Just get me some fucking clothes and my guitar so I can leave!”

As soon as you had mentioned your audition, the smug grin fell from Harrys face and his rosy cheeks had drained to pale “oh shit. T-that’s today?! I…I thought it was Friday” he frowns “w-well all your stuff is in Niall’s car and he’s in Brighton so I can just get him to drive back asap and…” he fumbles for his phone quickly.

“Brighton?! Harry you have 3 seconds to tell me this is a joke before I rip your pretty little head off! That’s 2 hours away Harry! I’ll never make it in time!”

“Y/N I’m so sorry! I am I really am, I would never have done this today if I knew” Guilt filling his eyes.

“You knew Harry! It’s written on the fridge, on the calendar and you helped me rehearse two days ago!”

“Why don’t I just go and buy you something to wear?” He offers, although he was currently terrified to speak incase his head really did get ripped off. He hadn’t seen you this angry since you pierced holes in three of your ex-boyfriends tyres after finding out he cheated.

“Well that’s pointless because I haven’t got my guitar and you don’t even have your acoustic guitar here. Forget it Harry. Just get out.” You mutter, your head hanging low in disappointment. Even if you left now you’d be late, and that was frowned upon. Turning up anywhere late was bad enough, let alone an audition. If you’re going to turn up late, then there’s no point turning up at all because you wouldn’t even be given a chance. The entertainment business was a difficult place to be, and this was your one chance to really make something bigger for yourself and it was ruined.

“Y/N I…”

“I said get out!” You scream, releasing the built up fury “go and join Niall in Brighton for all I fucking care. Leave me alone. I’m so disappointed Harry” you felt the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

The sight of you on the verge of tears was enough to break his heart. He wanted to protest, he wanted to make it all better. But he knew you too well. He knew if he didn’t leave you alone to calm down then it would make everything worse than it already was. He had never felt so guilty. In the 4 years you had lived together, practical jokes never made either of you angry. Sure they were embarrassing at times, but you two always had the best of times. At what made it even worse this time was that he had made you cry…and you’d used the ‘D’ word on him!

Harry had left, shutting the front door quietly as he headed to the studio to get out of your hair for a few hours. Also calling Niall in the process to get him to get the fuck home asap. It may have seemed like a pretty extreme joke, but they didn’t intend it to turn out this way. The plan was that the scavenger hunt would lead you to Brighton with Harry to meet Niall there, and the three of you would spend the day and night by the beach, shopping, drinking, eating...everything that you loved to do.

As hours passed, you found yourself tucked under the mountain of blankets on the sofa, wearing a pair of Harry’s boxers, joggers and a white hoodie. Which you purposely chose because your makeup rubbed off on the collar and the sleeves as you wiped your tears. 

You felt deflated and disappointed. You should have been more prepared...no actually, Harry shouldn’t of been a dick. You knew he didn’t mean to jeopardize your audition, but these auditions didn’t come along often and part of you just wasn’t ready to let this go yet.

Harry crept in quietly, although you didn’t hear him, or at least you didn’t want to. “ Hey...Y/N” he whispers softly, walking through the living room door cautiously.

“Hm?” you mutter, not allowing yourself to speak a word to him, and especially making sure your eyes were glued to Netflix, not giving him the satisfaction of paying attention.

“I...I got you these” He whispers, placing a big bouquet of red roses and white lilies on the glass coffee table in front of you. You looked straight passed them “Oh wow...maybe I should send these over to the directors and producers to say sorry and maybe they can make an exception for little Y/N to try again!” you state sarcastically, but your facial expression staying as blank as possible.

He sighs softly and perches himself on the arm of the sofa, he gently pulls your shoulders back for you to rest your back against his thigh. “I know it doesn’t change what I did Y/N, and believe me if I could of changed anything I would, and if I could turn back time, I’d do anything”

“You really fucked up Harry” you whisper, your voice cracking gently as you wiped your tears on the sleeve of his hoodie. “You don’t get it. You’re Harry Styles and you get everything handed to you on a plate because everyone already knows who you are! You’ve done what like...three auditions in your life and you’ve succeeded every single one. It’s not like that for me. I spent hours and hours practicing. And weeks just writing these songs in hope they get heard one day and now they won’t because word spreads really quick in this industry.” You still couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes, because you hated people seeing you cry. 

He sighed softly, staying silent as he pulled you up gently and sitting himself underneath you as he wrapped his arms around you tightly. He was always the first to help you rehearse when you had an audition, the first to comfort you if it went wrong or you didn’t succeed, and the first to celebrate and congratulate you when you did get it. Unfortunately, this time no one will ever know how it would have gone. He knew he couldn’t say much else because he knew you were right.  

You wanted to resist, but instead you buried your face into his chest and whimpered softly. As disappointed as you were, you knew Harry was truly sorry and he’d hang onto this guilt for a while. He held you close as his gentle fingers raked through your hair.

“I’ve put everything back in your room, all folded and neat” He whispers “I’ll make it up to you. I promise” He kept his arms around you supportively, although his chest was heavy with guilt, he already had a plan conjuring in his mind. 

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