#I AM ASKING YOU TO ENDURE...

[padmestrilogy]

the empty queen

brynne rebele-henry / asia moe-whittler / bjork / lucie brock-broido / kate bush / tori amos / sam adams / mcr / francesca lia block / paramore / mitski / sam adams, cont / sylvia plath / emilie autumn / jenny holzer / nicole dollanganger / hayden blackman

[twolovelyberries]

“but you’re God.” “and i am not enough.”

Harrow the 9th // the “i am asking you to endure it” poem

[waywardlampcookieturkey]

The one thing I still haven't seen anyone talking about when mentioning Xie Lian's gigantic statue that Hua Cheng carved when he was inside the kiln is that... Well, He Xuan also went into the kiln... years after Hua Cheng came out I'm pretty sure... Do you see where I'm going with this????

[saint-hymn]

WE GOT EM

hymn dearest hymn. what say you to a fic that rewrites the whole “revivebur making a deal with dreamxd” thing the way i thought it was gonna go before that stream happened. ft cwilbur experiencing the totality of the universe and also the end poem and basically having a transcendentalist mindfuck acid trip that was mostly just a test from dreamxd to see if his love or lack of faith was stronger

WHERE

[krowscrawl]

batman and robin looking a lil different today

[corviiids]

hi!!! all the fic updates/uploads recently have me bouncing off the walls i am so appreciative of all of them!!!! i just hope the procrastination doesn’t have terrible consequences, for your sake

I have this for you!

your dialogue is always so so entertaining i had to do something with it at least once!!! look i know it says slightly manic in the fic but i couldn’t help myself. idk maybe it is only slightly manic. he’s normal. a secret third thing. i’ll leave that judgement in your hands! :D

DUDE. dude. you genuinely have no idea what this did for me. this is exactly precisely the morale boost i needed because i in fact right now at this moment am trying to teach myself all of family law in one night. it's going bad. those are the terrible consequences you referred to

in all sincerity thank you so so much, for this fucking hilarious and incredible drawing (holy shit) but ALSO for your extremely kind words and i am so happy if you've been having fun with my fic :D but ALSO. for this drawing. im in tears. this is the perfect comic. ren startling in the background. goro's manic face. this is the correct level of mania. im feeling it right now. i will never be able to express my gratitude to you

(context this is a scene from my akeshu australian law school au yes you read that correctly)

[fisheito]

i lied. i'm still here

WHAT GIVE SYOU THE RIGHT

first of all, straight up 14 minutes spent staring athis stupid eyes. what are eyes? squishy orbs with holes in them? dunked in saltwater? connected to a bunch of vermicelli? ludicrous. they don't even know how to stand up straight. duymass orbs standing upside down all day relying on the brain to make sense of its wonky projections. i'm staring at salty upsidedown spheres for too many minutes. ims o anrgy

THE EARRING IS UNMOVED. UNCHANGING. STARING AT ME WITH ITS BEADY SALTORBS. mocking me. this is its everyday. this is normal. you twine that obsidian with the mundanity of the 9-5 grind and i just fume at you. STOP MOCKING ME

WHEN THE HFIOK WAS HE ALLOWED TO EXPOSE SKIN? WHO PULLED DOWN HIS SHIRTT? evil puppyfan whispering in my virtual ear: are those scratches on his back?!?! me: NO THEY AREN'T, THEY ARE JUST DECORATIVE BRUSH STROKES LIKE THE ONES USED FOR BLUSHES

IF THOSE WERE SCRATCHES THEY WOULD BE A HELLUCA LOT DEEPER AND ANGRIER BECAUSE THIS SNAKEY BITCGHJ AINT GETTING OFF WITH JUST A WARNING

wait hold up a minut

who pulled this thing down. doesn't he have a rather tight collar around his neck? there's no way someone could so easily just drag his entire torso's worth of clothing down past his shoulders-- *checks my notes*

DID THEY ONLY GIVE HIM HIS SECOND LAYER ? WHERE'S HIS SHIRT? i don't see any of that telltale white-

ok, well, there it is,? so, he's wearing it after all, but HOW DID THEY PULL DOWN THE UNDERSHIRT SO EASILY IS IT BAGGIER THAN EXPECTED? bruh i don't THINK so the waay that silk vacuum-seals to yakumo's skinnyarss chest in his regular sprite DID THEY TEAR IT APART?!?!?! just ripped at the neck. he can sew. he can fix it later on his own time. we got shoulders to expose here

WAIT. WHY IS HE WET? WHO THREW A BUCKET OF WATER ON HIM? other evil fan whispering in my alternate earhole: oh, they're ALL wet in their bday pics. don't worry, fish. it's like misting the vegetables in the grocery store-- me: I AM NOT MOLLIFIED BY THIS NEWS. WHY IS HEWET!!!!

way too godadam wet..... downright sopping😡

actually, that's a mighty fine bow. i wonder who tied that. it's a picturesque bow. i can never get my bows to look so perfect irl. very even. no lumpy sides. honestly, i wouldn't put it past eiden or olivine with their crafty hands to be able to pull that off-- EXCUSE ME WHAT THE TFOKF

WHO UNDID HIS PANTS W H A T

HE ALREADY HAS BARE SHOULDERS THAT'S AS SLUTTY AS IT GETS FOR THIS EXCESSIVELYBUBBLEWRAPPED SPAGHETT NOW YOU'RE PULLING HIS PANTS DOWN? HIS HIPS ARE GONNA GET COLD

stupid fkin hipbone on the bonyffikin snaek i'm gonna rip[ his greeater trochanter clean off his pelvis

WHATEVER. i'm fine. i'm totally fine. .......... bony snass out.....

you slap that thing and it's gonna shatter......couldn't even afford basic padding......economy-fare-level-buttmeat gotdamt taunting me with its fragile slappaibility

WHEN will this hoe learn. he beteter put those ankles away befroe he LOSES them i am THIsc lose to BITING THEM OFF his SNAPPABLE fibula PUT SOME SOCKS ON YOU WHORE

stupid anime legs. makes no sense. too frghign long couldn't even be contained by the border of the image. got cut off by the edge because his frivolous stilts had to stretch beyond reasonable restraints. surrender your left kneecap to customs. punishment for your femur hubris.

HOW FAR DOWN HAVE THOSE PANTS BEEN PULLED IVE NEVER WANTED TO SUCK A------

you're barely even tied up you dweeb there's nothing tethering you here if you stood up i bet the whole thing would unravel and you'd be completely unencumbered by that lightweight ribbon. i bet if we turned you around we would only see the ribbon loosely draping across your chest like a celebratory sash . congratulations on your self-contained imprisonment you wibbly reptilian beansprout

GOD HE DOES NOT STOP WIBBLING EVEN HIS ACCURSED LIPS ARE 〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜

UGH HE IS ALL NECK I'M GOING TO ROAST HIS SPINAL COLUMN AND TURN HIM INTO GRAVY

I HATE IT HERE

[fastianini]

Valentino Rossi & Marc Márquez

all i need—radiohead

[miodiodavinci]

im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

To say the whump community hates women characters is so cynical and unfair. Have you considered most of us are women and just not interested in hurting our own? like congrats if that's your deal, but let's not act like there's misogyny at play here.

So being a fellow female survivor of assault, why is it that we have separate tags for lady whump stuff? "Well, because women in DV situations can be too close to home", extremely fair point, I can more than sympathize with that. But then why don't we have an unspoken-rule-type tag for male whump? Why is "whump" in general entirely assumed to be male characters and male dominated? Because it's expected, because most of these women in the whump community love hurting their lil gay bois? We decree violence against women only to turn around giggling with our friends about taking a 12 gauge shotgun to a twink's knees so he has to crawl?

No one said she even had to be a whumpee. She can be a whumper, a carewhumper, a caretaker, a random side character. She can be a mom or a sister or a spouse or a childhood best friend. The problem is she doesn't exist at all. She doesn't get to be the victim or the hero or the villain because she's not appealing enough. I read male whump when I wanna feel spicy, I read female whump when I wanna relate. I want to see the same girl I was, broken and abused, I wanna see her rise to the top, I wanna see her take it too far, I wanna see justice delivered in the bloodiest form, I wanna simp over a bad bitch who would seduce me in a night club with a tight black dress and leave me in an ice bath in the morning.

In a community with 98% male OCs, I think we can spare a crumb for more women who are weak or cruel or kind. Just make more women in general.

[lizzybeeee]

ngl every time I see fully grown adult griffons in the joplin art I hate Assan a little bit more. why on earth is he not fully grown yet. It's been eight years.

The Last Flight happens in 9:41 and Veilguard is in 9:53 -> so that's actually 12 years between when they hatched till DATV starts...how the fuck did griffons ever manage to survive as a species if they're babies for that long?

(doesn't seem like its a good sign for repopulating the griffons if it takes a couple of decades for maturity? That's a lot of time for shit to happen to them in the meantime - babies are vulnerable!)

Scratch that, how did they even survive with Isseya? Did she feed them normal unblighted griffon food? Is there a Pet Smart store around the corner where she goes to get food for them as she plans to have them undergo the joining once more? So many questions about how the hell they actually lived with her for so long...

I admit I was pretty skeptical playing the game that the griffons would even be alive - obviously you want a chance to save them, but I think the game hurt itself by spreading out companion quests in bits and pieces, and after certain main missions were done. Like, it's been a year (?) since the beginning of the game? That's a lot of time for a bunch of little bird-cats to be alone with a crazy blighted elf. :(

Most likely answer: baby griffons make cute little sidekicks + smaller model/animations to deal with + there's no logical reason to explain how Isseya would be able to confine a dozen angry teenage cat-birds.

Respectfully, I personally disagree with having the word 'hate' and 'Assan' in the same sentence lmao. I loved my bird-cat son <3 (but, yeah, he should probably be a big boy by this point)

(Assan is not a 'baby' baby - but he's super young for a griffon? Way too young for maturity to be 'just around the corner', you know?)

Me to Assan:

[forcedhesitation]

dead by daylight-- the game where you can play as steve harrington from stranger things, and can get sent to partake in a match of murder hide and seek at midwich elementary from silent hill, where you can then use a lute to perform bardic inspiration from dungeons and dragons to give a bonus to your teammates, except for the one who is being chased by nemesis from resident evil 3.

[seithr]

(karlach movement vc) honk honk

[entriprises]

assorted thoughts on : fatherhood & all the adjacent streets

[seawardboundsammy]

started writing in between classes and im deeply obsessed with orpheus parallels with ortega/chargestep so have this. warning for ortega being inebriated and wanting to die.

Time to rise Orpheus. The day breaks and you with it. 

(I don’t want to. Don’t make me.)

That’s not an option. Get up Orpheus. 

(I have no legs. I have no hands.)

You will be repaired, doll of lyres. 

(I don’t want to be. I want to lay here and die.) 

Scio, sweetheart. 

(Will I see her again?)

Only on her deathbed. 

(I don’t think I can do this anymore.)

You will. 

Get up Orpheus. 

Get up Orpheus.

Get up-

“Ortega! Get down from there!”

Chen pulls you off the ledge of the building you guess you were climbing over. You're not really sure. 

You’re downstairs now. Your arm is over Chen’s shoulders. 

“-tega! What did you drink? Can you even hear me?” 

You’re nauseous.

You’re not nauseous anymore. 

“Ok that’s. That can be someone else’s problem, come on.” 

He lifts you once more. He’s good at that. He does is a lot when you fuck up or do something stupid which is always cause you’re a poor excuse for man. 

You snuggle into the passenger seat of his car. It’s cozy, it smells like him. You don’t smell good. 

“Drink this.” He says. He tips your head back and water pours into your mouth.

You do your level best to not choke.

You’re on the wrong side of your couch. This is Eurydice’s spot, not your’s.

Sidestep. Sidestep’s spot.

You shake your head, the smallest bit of clarity returning to your vision and mind. Chen has pulled a chair from the kitchen to sit in front of you. His expression swims but you think he’s concerned. Not a clue why.

“So. ‘Never gonna drink again?’” You spit onto the carpet and he grimaces. 

“Don’t know what you expect from someone like me. When’s my word ever meant shit?” You wonder if you could get him to punch you.

“You- I’m not entertaining this. You need to get your shit together.” He doesn’t say ‘before you end up dead’, but you hear it anyway. Or maybe that’s you saying it.

You let your head tip back over the couch. He wants you to try. You don’t know how. 

Yes you do. Rise from your corner. 

But you’re already so far gone.

Then go all the way. Pursual when you cannot see your target is what you do best. Find them.

They’re not dead. 

No.

They’re dead.

Not to you. 

I already failed them.

Then fail again. 

Isn’t the definition of madness trying the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome?

No, that’s a misconception. And anyways, when has that ever stopped you before?

Fair. 

Now tell him something so he doesn’t send you to a madhouse. 

You look back at Chen. His clenched teeth twist his scars on his lips and his hands are clasped together so tight you swear you hear the creak of metal. You slump forward, uncoordinated, and put one of your hands on his. 

“I’ll tell my… therapist,” the word is still a rock in your mouth, “about. This.” You’re not sure if you mean the drinking or the climbing. 

That’s not true.

Yeah well fuck you I’m not getting sent to a madhouse. I’m not crazy.

Then what’s this?

“That’s good.” Chen breathes out in a long relieved sigh. “That’s good.” 

You tug him off the chair and into a hug. You know he can feel your heartbeat through your shirt, and you know he needs that. 

Out of his view you stare daggers into the wall. You’re determined (for now). You have to find them again.

Miles to walk Orpheus. 

And promises to keep.

And promises to keep.

[actualphysicalviolence]

"i am asking you to endure it."

but i don't want to.

i am aware that my statement is childish, but it's the truest thing i can say.

nobody ever taught me how to be a real person.

i can't keep my room clean. i can't save money. i can't study. i can't do anything worth anything at all.

the only thing i'm good at is enduring it. and i have been doing it for a long time, and i don't want to anymore.

i don't want to stare at the ceiling, the voices of anyone who's ever told me "it will get better" echoing in my head. i don't want to bang my head against the wall until i forget about what was upsetting me. i don't want to sit on my bed, staring at the pigsty that is my room, wondering where i could even begin to clean it. i don't want ultimatums from my parents. i don't want to correct people on my name. i don't want to go through the motions. i don't want to cry. i don't want to talk to anyone ever again. i don't want to do it anymore.

"i am asking you to endure it anyway."