#I AM A MARRIED WOMAN THOUGH
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#and just for good measure#never say i didn't do something for the halsin enjoyers of baldur's gate#emotional support druid#bg3#bg3 halsin#i love him your honor#EXCUSE ME#seriously you're killing me#my bars will errode eventually#I AM A MARRIED WOMAN THOUGH#don't mind me i'm crying over here
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😮💨 Went out to socialize with some coworkers yesterday. I mention that I'm bi, and then just a minute later that I have a husband.
Coworker (who is a lesbian, for the record, so what follows isnt straight ignorance) that I really do not know: oh, wait, you're married?
Me: ha, yes.
Them: And you're bi?
Me: ...yes?
Them: wow, so like, an open relationship?
Me: ....?????? No?
Them: really?.....so, you're married. In a monogamous relationship? And...you're still bi?
Me: ...................yes? I...still think women are attractive? Like my husband still thinks women are attractive? Getting married didn't change that.
Them: oh, wow, how interesting.
#in the year of the lord 2024#why am i having to explain this#this woman couldnt have been more than 5 or 6 yeara older than me though so wtf#but my lesbian grandmother had said something similar when i told her I was bi after i was married#she was like 'still? even though youre married?' like yeah grandma. still. wtf#it wasnt like malicious or rude#but it was#...uncomfortable and confusing
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i personally think marcille is bisexual but in the "i am attracted the Occasional anime twink and also every woman who has ever walked the earth" way. like a solid 5 on the kinsey scale, y'know?
#eliot posts#(yes the kinsey scale is outdated and a vast oversimplification plus doesn't map perfectly onto modern label uses but. yk.)#dunme#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#i am only extrapolating a little bit from canon here#gestures at the succubus chapter#and then gestures at how the Vibes feel a little bit gay to me whenever she's interacting directly w almost any other adult woman#it's odd to me that i very rarely see ppl headcanon her as bi unless they are actively shipping her w a man (usually chilchuck or laios)#i personally ship her exclusively w falin (to me chilchuck is her work dad and laios is her boybestie and future in-law)#but she is simply bi and dating a woman to me#(now falin on the other hand i personally generally see as a lesbian)#(that ''she almost accepted toshiro's proposal bc she was worried no one else would want her. but hesitated because she felt guilty abt-#-the idea of marrying him even though she did not return his feelings'' read as compulsory heterosexuality to me personally)
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Why don't we talk more about Behind the Wall by Tracy Chapman ? This is like... THE song. A masterpiece. Two minutes of a wonderful voice singing about domestic violence and police's indifference in the most beautiful way without any instruments or music behind. I cry every single time I listen to this, rare are the lyrics that are as beautiful and heartbreaking as the lyrics of this song, and Tracy Chapman's voice truly is one of the most amazing voices ever. You need to listen to Behind the wall by Tracy Chapman !
#i am deeply in love with tracy chapman i hope you know this#if i could travel back in time to marry her i would#damn i would even marry her know even though she's older than my mom dhdjdj#wonderful artist. wonderful woman#music#tracy chapman#behind the wall#feminism#feminist#domestic violence#male violence#sexist violence#women's rights#feminist songs#Spotify
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it physically hurts me to try and write a friendship like the one i have with my best friend and realizing that it sadly reads like the characters are romantically in love
like bro wdym they can't be half of each other's heart and soul without being in love. i literally do it everyday with her. wdym they can't love each other with a love so strong it defies labels yet not want to sleep with each other or get married. I LITERALLY DO IT EVERYDAY WITH HER.
#i'm sorry your best friend's name is not inked upon your heart and does not run in your blood.#could NOT be me though.#i'm better.#limebug.txt#and i am tagging this as aromantic btw because this is an aromantic post#but also like. it does not have to be.#i am attracted to women. she is a woman. it is still possible.#this bond is possible between any two humans. maybe even more than two#you are all just cowards#aromantic#like in context of my characters it's an aroace woman and a gay man but the point stands#just. you can be in love without kissing or getting married or fucking#it is so easy#i literally do it every day of my life. it is like breathing to me.
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i miss my mom.
#the other woman is my godmother btw and i love her with all my heart.#[sigh] i’m gonna lay on the floor and cry for a while#one of the reasons i don’t wanna be in a relationship is because my mom won’t be around to help me through any of it. not getting married or#having children— none of it. my brother is gone too and idk. i feel like there’s so much more grief to come#how am i supposed to get through it all without her?#people tell me i’m just like her when she was my age. when she was my age i was 5. i don’t miss my childhood but i miss… i don’t know.#i miss wishing things could be different and there being time still to change it all.#i hope i can just breathe one day again and not feel as though my lungs are being compressed by the weight of#everything which haunts me.#there is time still to change it. i know there must be.#to organize
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I think my mom's aspec
#she doesn't consider my dad sexy and having sex with him was more of a 'sharing all of herself' thing with him than anything else#though tbf i have no idea how much of that was her nature and how much was bc of the satanic panic she grew up in#but like. let's be real for a sec. she married and fucked her best friend and when i suggested that he might be sexy to her she recoiled#that woman is aspec i'm calling it right now#...maybe i am too invested in my parents' love life
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I kinda like but dislike that Rumiko and Sunrise (and fans) have never even mentioned that miko (priestesses) are virgins. And that their shinto ability to tend holy places comes from being unmarried virgins. In modern day I guess it is not really required but I kind of wish more people analyzed Kikyo, the dark priestess, Kaede and Kagome in that light.
Personally I think that due to the era Kagome would not be allowed to remain a miko after getting married and having a child. She would still be one of course due to her spiritual ability, but I think she would no longer be allowed to remain in that societal role.
Kagome is so spunky though that I see her rebelling against it. I think Kagome's strength in being outspoken is another great contrast between her and Kikyo. While Kikyo was confined by society and was only freed from expectation when she became an impure monster. Kagome was outspoken and loud to where she didn't have much of a societal role and yet remained 'spiritually pure.'
There is a huge theme of 'societal expectation' in Kagome, Inuyasha, and Kikyo that I think being a miko is a part of.
Personally I'm torn on Kagome loudly choosing to get married and have a child VS remaining a Miko and Kagome choosing to attempt to do both.
More thematic headcannons in the tag below..
#i think due to translation issues miroku is a monk but not a priest#inuyasha#kagome#kikyo#Here I am analyzing way too much into a series that probably didn't think that much about this all#And yet.. I feel like there is meaning between Sota saying Kagome got married and Rumiko never drawing them kissing#i think cannonly kikyo and kagome are not the same person.. but i think kikyo would view that they are.. maybe#the strides against misogyny in shinto japan is very interesting to look at because it is so different from western misogyny#i saw that post going around talking about periods in the feudal era and im like.. bro women were ostracized in a hut outside the village#i didn't comment on the post but i did think about and analyze it#on how the dirtyness of being a woman is the same as the dirty blood of a hanyo or the dirty blood of the burakumin class#personally i think inu's class is similar to half japanese (the original hanyo written in gegege kitaro was confirmed to be based off of it#and rumiko could not have taken the coined term 'hanyo' without being aware of the influence#but i also don't think rumiko was thinking that much about the relation between the two#personally if it were me though i'd theme inu on the spiritual dirtiness of his blood rather than him being a half race#((((((related but i also headcannoned inuyasha as a bastard . a literal one#((and i also headcannon that hte name 'inuyasha' was not his birth name. it was a name given to him by the villiagers he stole from--#-- as a child/teen and he decided to reclaim the insult because he was what means 'dog monster' much more than the name his mom gave him))#i think it's strongly implied even that Inuyasha is a bastard.. i never see anyone analyze that.#to analyze that even if inuyasha was born a human he would still be hated for existing :''''DDD#my posts that i made
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although i have a lot of hard feelings about romance novels and often come out of them 9/10 times with hatred and embarrassment laced into my heart i do think most people can agree that romance novels at large have developed in response to the control over people's sexual lives and how that's subsequently led to a desperate desire from the sexually repressed to be equal participants in a sexual environment. it's not so much that women want to be in relationships with dominant men to whom they play housewife or baby incubator or worse. it's that women want to be in relationships at all. and because the standard for relationships at large is the nuclear family, this is what subsequently shows up in your literature. why do you think religious women in particular are such a huge audience for romance novels despite the often conservative environment they grow up in? it's bc the consumption of romance novels does not exist in spite of that conservatism but bc of it. to be gatekept from any expression of sexual desire until you marry or until you fornicate for the purposes of having a child is to breed in young women a desire for what we would now no longer consider practices entailing any self-respect. you're kept in an ideological cage all of your life, naturally you reach for what's immediately out of reach rather than consider that there could be more out there that is available to you. it sucks! it's sad, it's horrific, it makes me wanna cry. but i can also never quite blame women for it bc they're not the ones who've created this environment of sexual conservatism (ie the real puritan culture, the one that hypersexualizes virgins by obsessively protecting their chastity prior to marriage bc said chastity can only ever belong to one man). man has. religion has. patriarchy has. why would i focus my hatred on women who are merely coping with the status quo rather than the systems in place that we actually have to change to allow for more sexual freedom and agency?
#to be deleted#like to tell you the truth. do i consider myself to be more self aware than most romance novel readers. yeah#but i'm twenty six. i grew up in a household where dating and sex were completely forbidden and i still live in it#and at all times i feel like i am constantly yoyoing between 'do i want to get married just so i can experience what sex is like'#and 'sex sounds horrid and controlling and disgusting and i would rather die a virgin'#sometimes i feel insanely deprived of an outlet and yet i don't ever pursue one bc the associated psychological guilt is unbearable#and then on top of it i'm a born hater so whatever high i presumably /could/ get from romance novels i simply. don't#but that's not the case for every woman. not every woman is born a hater nor has the mental fortitude for that#some of them want to cope. and idk i feel so bad like it makes me feel actively. depressed that this is what they have to turn to#bc they genuinely don't understand that there's more. that what's being held away from them like a reward#isn't actually a reward. it's bare minimum. it's exactly what religion and patriarchy want them to do#and unfortunately i am nonetheless party to it! i am convinced i could never kiss or have sex with a woman even though i vaguely want to#bc the religious guilt is supreme. it rules my brain despite not ruling it in so many other areas
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arguably one of the most. well-adjusted (<- sarcasm moment) things about me is the little mental spreadsheet i have in my head at any given time about how each of my family members would react to me coming out to them as queer, specifically trans though because honestly. that's the only one actually relevant.
#anyways i think eventually my mom would be willing to talk to me despite maybe being the most anti-transgenderism#(<- specifically my transgenderism because uhhhh mutilating myself i think)#because she keeps reaching out to my brother (<- known queer married to a known queer woman)#(<- estranged himself from our family {cough. parents.} because of how they raised us / homophobia etc)#so i truly think eventually she'd reach out and in theory i'd be willing to settle for that#even though i would feel so guilty because it would hurt her so bad if i was trans and queer#but it would hurt her worse if she lost another kid because of it#so. hard to say#anyways absolutely hilarious to meeeeee that my mom (<- arguabbly my most issues) is the one most likely to still talk to me afterwards wit#love. like my dad probably wouldnt cut contact but i do think he would be the most deadnaming#though my mom would be the most ohh but you're such a beautiful girl#anyways. i am playing with my family like dolls in my head#tw transphobia#timothy's txts.
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never let me design an antagonistic woman for a story because i will in fact fall madly in love with her
#something about a woman who would treat me like absolute horseshit if she was real is sooooo enamoring for some reason#she's so out of my league and she knows it. but i want her so bad#i don't even know if i'm 100% committed to her influence in the story yet but holy shit man#i see a woman who would have zero respect for me if she was real and i go AWOOOOOOOOGA#we would end up together though happily married with some stupid little pursedog chihuahua because i am peculiar#it's okay i can be her boytoy (gender neutral)#little side note i do respect myself irl i just like horrible women. i am an apologist to every woman#i think excella gionne might be the root of this idk especially given how misogynistic resident evil fans only fuel me more#''excella is the worst she's so obsessed with wesker and she's annoying'' ok well so am i. she and i make out over our shared trait#ok tags rambling over it's past 3am and i think this post is maybe a result of sleep deprivation but WHATEVER#ctg posts
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Fair warning: I'm stoned and about to go to sleep. This shit might now make sense, but I hope it does.
Imagine someone writes you into a book as one of the characters. You may be friends, or have had conversations with them, or whatever. What are three things that would make you angry or upset if they left them out of who you are?
Please reblog!
#if my disabilities were erased or treated like some special ability or a cute quirck. or writing me like i'm an invalid or a burden#or having something happen thay cures/fixes me. it's exhausting and annoys me to no end when a Disabled character is treated like that#erasing the fact that i'm queer. i'm a cis woman married to a cis man. he's hetero. i'm queer. that doesn't go away when we marry!#i'm pagan polytheist and a witch. writing me like i'm not is a huge slap in the face. my beliefs ate massive piece of who i am#i would be irritated seeing my name misspelled though. there are 36 different ways to spell. only one version is my name#now my stoned af ass is going to bed.
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no but like it's still kinda insanely funny to me that eddie literally called billy 'brother' and told him he loved him and billy was like 'go fuck yourself' like i'm never getting over eddies face it was too funny ohmygod mabdjdkdfndjdnms
like yeah billy was obviously an asshole he constantly disrespected eddie and stepped all over him eddie had every right to demand better treatment and an equal power dynamic but.... fucking billy's wife wasn't the way to do that and then having the nerve to call billy brother a day after he admitted to that like bro what did you expect i can't menfrkdkfjdk
#also i'm not a hypocrite like obviously billy was wrong in cheating on camila emotionally and otherwise he put a lot more stress on the#marriage than she did and he was the one mainly putting it in jeopardy but eddie is literally too fucking funny istg#you're no better than billy she's a married woman and youre in a band together like fuck that#did he honestly think this relationship could be repaired after that like yes billy treated eddie like shit but fucking his wife isn't the#way to make the friendship healthy and less toxic XD#djats lb#i am sad about the rest of the group though even warren never liked billy or he was just indifferent to the drama and remained neutral#camila was what made this family a..... ya know. family XD she kept it together and it's kinda sad how this show decided to treat her#anna watches tv#daisy jones and the six
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baked a cake from scratch, fed the dogs and the father, cleaned the kitchen, wrapped christmas presents. wearing a beige sweaterdress and black ballet flats, hair in bun. reading a profile on hilaria baldwin…the cottagecore tradwife in me is winning i fear
#im being sarcastic but honestly though i keep having the creeping and uncharitable thought of like. i don’t think this is quite as hard as#my mother has always made it seem. and my father is literally zero help and she works really hard but also there was always the not-always-#unspoken implication that the reason the house was always kind of messy and disorganized and everything was kind of chaotic and accompanied#by a distinct sense of overwhelm was because of my sister and I#either our stuff or our actions or the fact that taking care of us took up too much time she could devote to other stuff#but neither my sister nor i live at home full time anymore and when we do at least i am objectively more helpful than anything else#so im like okay well that wasn’t it then#and like i also get that everyone thinks they could do better until THEY get married and have kids and then you see#but the backlash against the pressure for everything to be picture perfect has turned into (imo) a general “relatable” idea that#adulthood and especially marriage and parenthood is nothing but a slide into complacency and chaos forever and like. i just don’t agree wit#that. obviously you cannot live as you did as a single person or a non parent but the prevailing image of parenthood i see advertised as#“realistic” is one where everyone is constantly exhausted unhappy and living in filth#i See a question from a woman asking how to SURVIVE nine whole days of winter break with her children. SURVIVE? wtf?#i do think parents of today spend too much time with their children and that’s part of the issue but also like. i cannot believe that#everything is as thoroughly and completely awful as it is pretty much always portrayed nowadays#and how i see it reflected at me. and this isn’t like a housewives don’t work aaaa thing because no.#but like. when i see people being like you can’t expect your sahm to get the laundry done OR dinner made OR the house clean on a consistent#basis EVER i am kind of like…..but literally what are you doing then if none of those things??#cause unless you homeschool or have literal infants (whole different ballgame) then like…what are you doing#maybe an unpopular opinion but I think a lot of women are bad at being housewives. because it is a skill that women used to study and learn#and now it’s not but it’s still the most important job in society#so we took away all the instruction manuals for the backbone of society and now who comes the closest to approximating an educational resou#? influencers. which is horrible because any person you are taking advice from on Instagram is someone with a public Instagram account#which automatically makes them odd and untrustworthy and not someone at least I would want to emulate.#my mother doesn’t apply to this she is a great homemaker her issues are (1) time management (2) fatigue (3) starts too many projects#but i digress#i suppose i shouldn’t say that I reject the idea children turn your life to chaos because I don’t. but I do reject the idea that#the chaos of parenthood sentences everyone to a perpetual state of overwhelm and reactivity#that simply has never been the case for people in any time period before now even when raising children and the daily business of living wa#far more labor intensive
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Should I see a therapist for my unexplained contempt for my Heterosexual Family Members and their wedding planning and their baby-craziness y/n?
#like at this point i'm really going to hell for my feelings alone dfghjgfds#there's nothing really bad about them!! nothing to really dislike!! i just feel so much annoyance and resentment#something shifted in me in the past year and i fear it's turning me into a sour old bitch. but also....... oh well....?#a therapist would probably propose that i'm secretly jealous or insecure and.... i am definitely not jealous but i miiiight be insecure#about being 25 and not feeling like a woman and going in no direction. not planning to get married or have kids#so what kind of woman am i? also just being forced to engage with the straightest cissest people in my daily life#wears you down.#i have no reason to dread this eventual wedding (partner's brother's wedding). in fact it's going to be fun!! weddings are fun right...?#but lord..... my partner and i basically have to wear different skins around some family members. even though we probably don't have to...#but my real skin -- my real self -- i worry that i'm just a sour bitch. like don't hand me your toddler please. don't talk to me about marri#*marriage. don't push me into the kitchen to do dishes with the other women.#even our queer friends all want to have kids one day. is it just going to be me and my partner babysitting 5 kids?#because again not to sound like a bitch but i am Not Comfortable nor cut out for it.#god i'm nervous about meeting my partner's brother's fiancee's family. holy fuck i'm nervous.#imagining myself telling them that i'm doing my undergrad in gender studies of all things PPPFFFFGHJGFDGJHFG#like this tiny bare-faced girl with a moustache introduces herself at this traditional wedding like 'yeah i'm a disgusting feminist' LOLLLL#one fear.
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https://twitter.com/tstytimezefronk/status/1677167889487372290?t=ftJ5LXJxa2cRerx7Jb-5eQ&s=19 i thought of you when i saw this fgfggf first i thought of me cause 🤤 and then of you cause we share the same huge crush on her ❤️🔥
Lmaoooooooooo yessss she’s one of us
#and you are right i am so in love with her. parasocially#brb gotta send this to my bestie who also loves boygenius#i do feel compelled to point out though#julien as a composer lyricist>>>>>>>>>>>>#one woman’s opinion#anyway i want to marry her#asks#besosquecreanadiccion#every DAY i think of how when she was 19 she wrote#i’ve kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers who never loved me#she WROTE that! with her hands!#i am a lil wine drunk can’t you tell
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