#Humans are space orc

[aromantic-ace]

Humans Are Weird/SpaceOrcs: Human Rage

After my take on "Assholes" i got enough inspiration to actually try to write the entry of that poor T'slich and his reaction after witnessing a real Human Rage.

Cycle 45 after the start of the Expedition.

Crew Member: T'slich of the Kerb System.

When i was taught about humans and their rage i obviously was very impressed by their ability to pull some incredible action and was warned about their irrationnality. But i always though of it as eitheir a myth or something very unlikely to happen, even after the friction between Human Leila and the captain i was glad to learn that it is not as frequent as the Intergalactic Manuals make it sound but all doubt i had about it and all the reassurement from others humans could not make me forget that look on Human Leila after another altercation with the Captain.

Her anger was understandable, it wasn't cargo that was lost this time but a team of three explorator that were ambushed by some kind of unknown floral specie. We were expecting her to be angry, humans are famous for their bonding ability but due to the danger and high chance of death the Captain did not send any rescue team. We could hear her scream and insult from accross the ship and most telepathic crew member had to go to the other side of the ship to lower the intensity of her brain waves. When i went to see what was happening i found her storming through the corridor in direction of the armory, the Captain desk was almost destroyed and his face white of shock. I realise i couldn't stop her when she threw over a Jyr twice her size that was trying to stop her from getting to the armory, she wasn't even hired as a soldier ! How her little scientist body of nearly 1 meter and 64 centimeter could do that ? She continued yelling that she wasn't going to stay passive when her friend were in need of help. She took one of the small vessel for transport in atmosphere and left, alone and wouldn't answer any communication, all we had was the signal GPS of her ship and vital signal of her suit.

Cycle 45 and a third after the start of the Expedition.

Crew Member: T'slich of the Kerb System.

I had to use all of my social ability to convince the captain not to leave and to wait for at least half a cycle, it seem that he also was sceptic about humans and their rage and wanted to charge Human Leila with assault and desertion. But right when my argument wouldn't be enough other members of the crew came to assist me, it seem that they too had bonded with Human Leila and argued that such devotion for the crew could only benefit the Expedition, after realising the support the crew was giving her the Captain accepted to wait and aggreed that he was probably acting under shock and anger.

We got news from Human Leila after around a quarter of cycle after her rescue mission started. She came back with a half destroyed ship and part of her suit and hair had burned. But she was alive and with the three missing explorators who were absolutely unharmed apart for a few first degree burns. I will never forget the look on Human Leila face when she pointed her gun at the one that refused to send rescue and simply said "No one left behind." None of us dared to say anything except the medical team who went to tend the rescued, we all had this impression that saying anything could get us killed. And without saying anything Human Leila returned the stolen equipment and refused any medical care before returning to her room.

None of us asked Human Leila about how she managed to pull such a move when she wasn't a soldier nor a pilot, according to the Intergalactic Manuals About Humans the female humans are often considered to be gentle and caring, there was apparently some casts of human where their female were specialised in warfare but the information is old of at least a milenia and Human Leila wasn't fitting any of their physical traits. I will request a change to the Manual after the report on the incident is completed, because if i have learned one thing with Human Leila it's that you should NOT, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE leave crew member bonded with a human behind, because there is a higher risk of mutiny and injury from the human than there would be trying to rescue the missing crew.

I am the only one comfortable enough to speak without fear with Human Leila, she is acting as if nothing extraordinary happened, as if it was normal and none of us would dare to say otherwise, she seem to be really evasive with telling us about what happened, she mentionned something about "games" for her ability to do it (secret human training protocole ? I will have to research more about that). And the medical team reported that the burns were mostly caused by the fuel used in her ship, some of us suggested that she probably used Human tactics to make some makeshift fire ammo or fire bomb in order to free the rescued. She hasnt spoke with the Captain since and do not refuse to comply with her orders assigned. We still have much to learn.

End of Entry

[thewildwaffle]

Earth Report 0016 - CPR

This is from a prompt from a user on aO3

***

As part of the medical and health-related topics in this section of reports, I would like to make a special report on the topic of cardiopulmonary resuscitation. I’ve covered several “first aid” topics in previous reports, and will likely cover more soon as I continue to study humans, but this particular technique stood out to me in a way that I knew I had to make a report dedicated solely to it. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, or CPR for short, is an emergency technique that can be performed on a human whose heart has stopped beating. Such a condition can be lethal for humans as they only have one centralized heart. The human heart is a fascinating organ. While strategically contracting and releasing different valves on average over 100,000 times a day, the human heart pumps nearly 3 solaric fluid plinks of blood every mentik. It is, without a doubt, made of some of the most tireless muslce tissue I've ever heard of. Historically, heart problems and diseases are the leading cause of death for humans. I realize that may surprise many. Out of all the crazy things humans do, get into, eat, etc. it’s their own vital organs that most often “do them in,” (a common human euphemism about death. See Report 0005 for more about euphemisms and idioms.) When a human’s heart stops beating, they enter what’s known as “cardiac arrest.” In such a state, their heart cannot pump blood to the rest of the body. For those who know even the basics about human anatomy, it is easy to see just how dangerous and life-threatening this is in only a matter of minutes.

In an effort to save the lives of others, humans of all ages and backgrounds are commonly given basic training in CPR. After ensuring trained professionals are alerted to the medical emergency at hand, checking for a pulse (or lack of), and making sure the afflicted human is flat on their back, the human administering CPR stacks their hands, fingers laced, on the sternum of the afflicted human and administers hand compressions with the sturdy base of their palms.

I’ve attended a training on CPR. The instructor demonstrated how to perform it on a replica human torso made out of rubber and plastic that they call a “dummy.”

If you are even remotely aware of how strong a human can be, you might have some idea of the shock I felt when the instructor told the class to use as much of their body weight as they could to compress the afflicted human’s chest at a depth of nearly 1-2 inches (7 solaric micronills)!

What this means is that the human administering CPR is pushing so hard that they are basically trying to squish the non-beating heart in a pulsing pattern to replicate its natural pumping action and get the heart itself to start beating again on its own.

And it’s not just that either. You have to remember that the heart, being a vital organ, is safely encased in the human’s ribcage. Does this stop them? Absolutely not. In fact, the instructor clearly stated that while performing CPR, if you hear a bone snap or crack, keep going. To quote her, “It’s better to have a broken rib and be alive than no broken bones and be dead.”

Of course, the instructor also gave advice on how to try to avoid fracturing the sternum or ribs, but said that due to the nature of CPR, it happens about 30% of the time.

Beyond beating the heart back to life, CPR also includes forcing air into the afflicted human’s lungs. This happens much less frequently than compressions, and it involves the administering human to get air into the afflicted’s lungs the only way they have available - from their own lungs. They pinch the other’s human’s nose shut, seal their lips over theirs and blow. Those familiar with human displays of affection (see report 0010) may mistake this as a “kiss,” and while it is sometimes called “the kiss of life,” it is far from affectionate in any way. If anything, one might say it is more of a battle, if the opponent of their battle were death itself.

They follow up with more heart compressions and repeat the pattern until emergency medical professionals arrive.

At the end of the demonstration I attended, the instructor commented on the speed of the compressions needed. She referenced two songs, which many in the class began humming to themselves immediately and continued to do so after class. One, I thought was in poor taste, entitled “Another One Bites the Dust.” For those unfamiliar with human idioms (again, see Report 0005) to bite the dust means to die. Seeing as that is the complete opposite outcome hoped for with CPR, I preferred the title of the other song, “Staying Alive.”

She instructed that those administering CPR should perform chest compressions to the beat of one of those songs, hoping that indeed, their fellow human would be “staying alive.”

May the stars above forbid that a human ever tries to perform CPR on me, (or that I'd ever be in a situation where I was incapacitated enough to look like I needed it). Though I think that would be a quick way to go. Thankfully, they do have specialized CPR procedures for their small children and infants, as well as pets and various animals. They all typically involve a lot less... bone-crunching heart squishes.

[boyakishantriage]

Alien: "... Why is your humans are space orcs fandom filled with military things and human exceptionalism??"

Delta: "..."

A: "..."

D: "... Y'know how your Hidean(I know it's wrong. Fuck you.) are space Rack (Space orc, if you're dumb) have a lot of military things?"

A: "... Yeah?"

D:

A:

D: *silence intensfides*

A:

D: ... Aren't Hideans smart?

A: "Yeah. We are."

D: ...

A: ...

D: "IT TOOK YOU TWENTY MINUTES."

A: "..." *Stares at wall in shame*

D: "Hideans are smarter than humans."

[captain-ultimat-doggo]

Humans entering space and realizing we are so small. We are mice compared to these giant races with their advanced machinery and technologies and experiences beyond us- except that we're humans. And our engineers dive into the new tech and once we learn the principles we also soon realize how Inefficient everything is. Their "microchips" are the size of cars, their storage drives are basically buildings, and they somehow store less data than ours. So, human companies take advantage, and tech starts rolling out. Massive and there's a lot of wasted space so that it can be managed with larger hands/pincers/claws/tentacles, but also so much more efficient than anything the galaxy has seen before.

Human technicians start hopping ships and upkeeping the general maintenance, the stuff that most aliens put off or don't notice because they never access the crevices of their ships. As human companies become more popular and lead the tech world in everything from warp cores to game stations ("it's so compact! How are the graphics so good?" Says a 60' tall grimbleback, holding a new VR headset that has all of its components included because it's so BIG by our tech standards), soon many things have accessibility ports for humans to be able to use as well. This means that these shiprats hoping ship to ship cause such a huge improvement in everything running smoothly, and there's a huge downtick in pests on ships because those "pests" are not only big enough and aggressive enough to bite a pitbull or a person in half, they're invasive to so many planets and humans hate nothing more than dog killing planet overrunning monsters.

All the while, from the Aliens perspective, humans are an elusive race that don't fraternize much with them. You almost never see a human as most places aren't exactly safe for the little things to run around in. They do export so much stuff though, and the custodial staff at the Central Galactic Outpost insists that there's more humans around than any other race if you just know where to look.

And sure it's somewhat known that some of the little daredevils hop ships and help out in exchange for room and board, usually without permission, but that can't be that common, can it?

Maybe your ship is running better this cycle ever since you stopped at the last station, that just means that tuneup was better than you thought. And maybe for some reason that program you were working on last night is finished when you wake up, but you're so tired maybe you finished it before you passed out. Somehow that faulty light in the galley has fixed itself as well, which is odd, but maybe the Engineer finally got to it. You'd know if there was someone else on your ship.

Right?

... You leave a little bowl of berries out as a thank you, just in case. You're not sure what humans like but you've heard they have a sweet tooth.

[injuries-in-dust]

I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...

Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?

Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.

Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.

***

Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.

Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.

The humans response is to climb higher.

***

Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.

Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.

[loonarmuunar]

Humans being the first. Not the strongest or the smartest or the weirdest or the most violent. Just the first.

We called out into the dark over and over. We sent out messages in hopes. We searched every planet we could reach, in hopes of any sign of life. Any at all.

We thought, hoped we were the last, because we couldn’t bear the idea of being the one ones this awake and alive in a world as vast as this.

And we died alone.

When the others are born, many many years later, they find us, everything we left for them.

They recover The Golden Record and look at it a million times over, they dig up our fossils and put us in museums, they study us for years and years, loving us as we love our ancestors’ painted hands on cave walls.

In a lot of their languages, the word they use for us has the same root for “mother”.

[nekokotatsu]

Human: I don't get this whole "Earth is a death world" thing. Like, obviously it wouldn't seem like one to us, but why is it one to you guys? Are your home planets *that* much more free of disease and predators and stuff?

Alien: Oh, yes. Earth is far more hostile than our home worlds.

Human: Huh. Wonder why.

Alien: I suspect it's due to Earth's high iron content blocking the fae from disposing of such minor threats.

Human: Yeah, I guess that

Human:

Human: what

Tiny fairy in alien's translator headpiece: Shut up, they think we're mythical, it's *hilarious*.

Alien: I mean... Sure is a mystery, huh?

[skritzzy]

I feel like any aliens that were prey at some point in evolution would have an odd fear of humans. Mostly cause they look like predators, act a bit like predators, and ARE predators. One perfect example is when we're focused on something like a mosquito that's been bugging us for a long time and we are just done.

Alien: "What. What..?"

Human: *HUNTING down a mosquito it saw*

Alien: ".... yeah I am really uncomfortable...."

Human: *quiet footsteps, pupils dialated, intense focus,*

Alien: *WAR FLASHBACKS*

Human: "Found you." *absolutely desimates the mosquito, squashing it into a million pieces as it's guts and various body parts liquidize into blood of the bloodthirsty, now stained on the palm of the human. A living being now reduced to a useless corpse as the human wipes the remains on their pants*

Alien: "I feel like I've just gained trauma."

[archrries]

Humans cracking their knuckles as an intimidation tactic against aliens

Can you imagine being an alien and this thing just broke its bones at you?????

I'd be scared tbh

Why did it make that noise

That's a bone breaking noise

It's like those ppl who bite off their acrylics before a fight

[aromantic-ace]

Humans Are Weirds: Clothing.

I'm pretty sure it already has been done by someone but i didn't see their post if there is one so allow me to post the way i'm picturing this.

So on Earth humans are pretty much the only species to use clothing because we cannot survive some temperature without them, but what if it wasn't the case of others species ? What if they naturally developed with time chitinuous shell were there is a need to have one, there would be different kind of alien capable of rapidly growing an exoskeleton to survive the space void or very low temperature and it would shed after a few moments, how would they react to humans ? What if they couldn't comprehend why we would spend so much time and effort to make clothes just to be more confortable or to be able to whistand low temperature ? What if they pictured it as the same thing as the old skin of lizards and other reptiles ?

Alien: So let me get this straight.. you guys.. don't grow those skins ?

Human: Well no, these are manufactured in mass so we can protect ourselves from the cold, the heat or space void, it's also mainly used for fashion.

Alien: Fashion ? What is that ?

Human: It's... kinda complicated to explain but you could see it as a way to express ourselves or put ourselves in value ? I'm not an expert in that you gotta ask Mark.

Alien: Alright alright let's just go back to what you said. Humans can't survive the cold ?

Human: Well we can, there is record of some of us living in some absolutely horrendous climate with almost no clothing but we don't like it. It's mostly just for confort and protection against all sort of things.

Alien: But why ? Why wouldn't you all let your specie evolve to get those protection naturally ? I've read some texts about humans and there was a time where you guys had fur ! Why ?

Human: I dunno, we kinda just.. lost it ? The human skins can't block bullets or lasers so that's why we do that.

Alien: You guys can't block bullet and lasers ? But there is thousands of records of you people tanking explosion and bullets, laser beam sometime even rockets without a problem ! Is your specie separated in different class ? Like is that a difference from normal humans and warrior humans ?

Human: Nope, it's all just clothing, and armor.

Alien confused: I still can't believe how you guys managed to survive that long, humans really are weirds..

From this day no remark were said about how human would lose their skin almost every days or why they would re use it just after some cleaning. It was also specified in the Intergalactic Manual About Humans that a human without "clothes" was ostracised by it's kind and that there should always be some emergency skins in case of such an event happening.

[thewildwaffle]

Friends With Monsters - Part 3

This chapter was inspired by a prompt from a user on ao3. Part 1 Part 2

*** *** ***

If the HWSS Concordia wasn’t the largest ship in the Galatea Trade Alliance, she was definitely one of the most beautiful. Or at least she was to her captain. He saw a lot of himself and his crew reflected in the craft that carried them through the stars. Species from multiple star systems worked, ate, and relaxed side by side with other beings that they might otherwise never come into contact with. It was the same with the ship. Engines crafted on one planet, atmospheric systems designed on another. Raw materials mined from various locations, and technological marvels collaborated on by multitudes of alien engineers. Such a harmonization took work though, and quite a lot of it. And that was true for both the ship and its many parts, and it was certainly true of the crew. Two of the three troublemakers from earlier seemed to be taking the captain’s warning seriously enough. Stern hadn’t had any issues with them in the following two moors since their discussion. In fact, they’d been model crewmates, at their stations right on time or even a bit early for their shifts, helpful to the new recruits, neat and tidy in their down-time, and most importantly, respectful of all crewmates, especially Medic Fehl. The third, unfortunately, couldn’t seem to set aside their prejudices as satisfactorily as the captain ordered. As they had been warned would happen, they were dropped off at the nearest spaceport. Stern alerted proper authorities and requested that they be disciplined and stripped of rank. He doubted it would actually get that far. But he’d push for a demotion at the very least. Such insolence, disobedience, and bigotry should not be tolerated.

In any case, Captain Stern had rid his ship and his crew of a snag in their otherwise smooth machine. “Captain,” a voice from behind pulled Stern out of his thoughts. Stern turned to see Arzhi Fehl walking up behind him in the main corridor. The tall arzhi covered ground quickly with his long strides. The medic nodded respectively and did his best to look demure and gentle as possible. It was strange body language to see from a body so large and battle-capable. Stern did his best to hide a frown. He wondered how much of that body language was just how Fehl normally acted, and how much was learned behavior so as to not scare his arzhi-weary crewmates. “A pleasure to see you Medic Fehl,” Captain Stern returned a polite gesture as greeting and smiled softly. “I’ve been meaning to come down to the med bay to see how you’re settling in. Does the equipment down there meet your standards and expectations?” Fehl nodded. “Everything is great, not just in the med bay, but everywhere. This is one of the finest ships I’ve ever served on, Captain.” “That’s high praise, thank you.” Stern paused for a bit, carefully watching the arzhi’s expressions. “And what of the crew? I hope they’ve been helpful and welcoming?” A flicker of emotion flashed on the medic’s face ever so quickly. It looked like it might be some combination of frustration or sadness or something in that vein. It was replaced with a gentle, resigned smile almost immediately. “More so than what I’d expected, actually. All things considered with my people’s history, things have been much more smooth and calm than what many of my previous constituents thought I’d experience while joining a Galatea crew.”

Stern nodded. He understood what Fehl was meaning without saying. Besides the first few solar cycles, the crew’s interactions with the new medic had greatly improved, but if one looked closely enough, it was clear there was still a strain. A little tightness to a smile here, a subtle tensing of shoulders there, etc. There were only a few members of the crew who were either totally at comfort with the medic or at least good enough actors to pass as comfortable. “I see,” Stern nodded, keeping his expression neutral. “As you said, all things considered, I’d say there’s been quite a bit of improvement with the crew, and I expect that to continue in the coming cycles.” Fehl nodded and glanced down the hall in the direction he’d been walking before, then back to Stern. “If you’re not busy now Captain, you’re more than welcome to join me. I was on my way to the mess hall for a meal now that I’m on standby.” Captain Stern was about to answer when a growling sound from his stomach answered for him. They both laughed for a moment before Captain Stern answered in the affirmative and the pair started walking together down the hall. They walked in comfortable silence for a bit before Fehl spoke up. “I’ve been doing more in-depth research on each species’ needs aboard the ship, especially humans since I’ve not worked near them before. I came across some interesting articles about basic needs.” “Oh yeah?” “Yes, apparently humans require physical touch to help maintain mental health?” Captain Stern nodded. “Yes, and unfortunately many humans, especially those who join off-world crews, often develop symptoms of touch starvation.” “Ah,” Stern nodded. Touch starvation. It was something that, in the early days of human inclusion, many crews often overlooked how important physical touch was to human mental health. It was only after cases of high blood pressure, digestive problems, and anxiety became rampant that preventative measures were made commonplace on ships that hired on humans. He thought back to his human mother. When he’d first left to begin his academy training, he’d been worried about leaving her alone. She’d been “on her own” to use her own words, for several years before she’d adopted Stern, but she assured him that she wasn’t alone. She had a close-knit group of friends and extended family that she could keep companionship with while he was gone. Stern knew she’d be fine with them. He’d been brought along to many family gatherings and outings with friends throughout his upbringing to know that his mother would certainly not be lacking the physical contact and important touches that the human psyche needed. Though she may act like she had been touch-starved whenever Stern was able to make a visit, what with all the embraces and kisses he’d receive as soon as he walked into his childhood home.

“Oh hello human Muriel,” Fehl broke Stern’s flashback. The hallway they’d been walking through merged with another and they’d run into one of the humans on the crew. “On your way for a meal?” Fehl asked casually. Stern was silently impressed at how well the arzhi had picked up his friendly conversational tone. He still had his overall gruff and menacing cadence and aura, but that was more to do with that was just how arzhi body language and how they naturally spoke than anything the medic was consciously trying to do. “I am,” Muriel’s wavy hair bounced with each step, and as she leaned forward slightly to see around Fehl’s large shoulders. “Oh hello, Captain. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” “Not at all. We’re all just on our way to lunch if you’d like to join us?” “Oh? Sure, that sounds nice,” Muriel smiled gently. Stern nodded and continued walking, but he had to admit that something felt off with the human. His duties as captain kept him busy, but he did try to keep tabs on how each of his crewmembers were doing. Muriel was normally very energetic and happy, but over the past decacycle or so, there was something about her that seemed to be off. While Stern pondered on that, the three walked in relative silence for a few moments before Muriel broke it. “Oh, thanks for the idea about the vitamin D, Fehl. It’s really helped make a difference.” “That’s great to hear!” Fehl rumbled and nodded his large head. “I’m glad my research paid off. Have you felt like you’ve had more energy? “A bit more, yeah…” her last word dragged on a bit and both Fehl and Stern waited for her to say more. When she didn’t, Fehl stopped in the hall. Both Stern and Muriel paused after a few steps and turned back to look at the medic who looked like he was a bit hesitant to say what was on his mind. “Human Muriel, I hope I’m not over-stepping anything, but I’ve recently learned more about humans’ need for physical touch and what effects touch-starvation can have.” He bent down slightly to be more on her level height-wise. “Have you been able to make meaningful physical contact with any of the other humans or members of the crew?” Muriel just stared and blinked for a bit before finally shaking her head side to side. “Do you mind if… would you like a hug now? Something tells me you may need one.” More staring. More blinking. Then finally Muriel, looking between Captain Stern and the concerned medic in front of her, slowly nodded her head up and down. As carefully as he could, and with as much grace as he could, Medic Fehl moved in closer to embrace the smaller human figure. Humans are by no means fragile or dainty, but in the arms of a hulking arzhi, Muriel looked so small, although not uncomfortable. After only a few seconds, Muriel seemed to return the hug in full force with tears forming in her eyes. Before they could fall down her cheeks, Muriel’s breathing began breaking down into sobbing. Medic Fehl pulled back quickly and immediately started to scan over Muriel as if looking for injuries. “Oh I’m so sorry!” Fehl stumbled out, “Where are you hurt? Oh flarg!” Muriel only shook her head and between sobs and hiccups that she was trying to get back under control, she sporadically was able to get out that she was fine. Obviously, that wasn’t the case, but Stern knew that she meant she was physically fine.

Thankfully, Fehl, as a well-trained medic, was level-headed enough to listen to the pair of them explain that he’d done no harm in embracing her. “That’s a relief,” Fehl sighed deeply. “The last thing I need is to create some sort of incident with anyone on the ship, or with humanity as a whole!” He worriedly checkout over Muriel once again. “You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?” “I’m sure,” Muriel gave a chuckle through the tears that were still running rogue from her eyes. She wiped them away again and sniffled for a moment, trying to regain composure. “You… you give really good hugs though. I think I… I think I really needed that. I… I just…” Muriel’s face scrunched up a bit as she was again trying to fight off tears from falling. Fehl glanced at Stern, who nodded silently and smiled encouragingly. After a moment, Fehl stepped closer to Muriel and placed a large hand on her shoulder. “You know, I’m trained in matters of physical health, but your mental health is also vital to your overall wellness. If you need to talk, or if you ever just need… a hug… you can always count on me.” Muriel nodded and slowly leaned into the medic’s chest. Fehl, with only a nanotik’s hesitation, wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. It only lasted a moment, but eventually, Muriel sighed, or maybe yawned, Stern wasn’t quite sure and pulled back to stand straight again. She glanced down the hall behind them, but they were still the only ones in the hall at the time. Her stomach growled and broke the silence, which made the three of them chuckle quietly. “I think that’s our cue to get to the cafeteria,” Stern turned back toward the direction in question. The other two followed along happily. Lunch was great. Stern had made sure the kitchen staff was top-notch when he’d hired them. Others in the crew filed in as their meal breaks came up. Seeing the captain and a human sitting next to Medic Fehl, a few others approached to sit at their table, and soon a lively conversation was started, to which Fehl seemed to participate comfortably. Over the next few cycles, Stern would notice a few more humans visiting the medical bay while he was walking by on his breaks. He’d check in to make sure there wasn’t something concerning going on that he hadn’t been made aware of. Thankfully, it turned out it was nothing he needed to worry about at all. If anything, it was a huge win for his plans of getting the humans to help improve the medic's social standing on the ship. Apparently, word had gotten around that Medic Fehl gave really good hugs.

[sugarcoatednightshade]

Humans are Space Orcs story where humans are known for our storytelling and acting abilities. While these talents are somewhat respected, there’s a major stigma against humans because we’re also the best liars.

“Humans don’t actually feel anything at all, they just mimic emotions to trick others into believing them”

“Never trust a human. They lie like the rest of us breath”

“Humans spend so much of their lives acting, it’s impossible to tell when they’re being truthful”

“In human culture, great respect is awarded to ‘actors’ who are able to mimic other persons and emotions with startling accuracy”

“Some ‘actors’ are able to ‘perform’ hundreds of unique characters”

“Acting is so ubiquitous in the human culture that many consider it polite to lie”

“Sarcasm is a common, casual game played between humans, where one human says something untrue and the other human must guess what truth they are thinking. Humans unable to perform this ritual are often ostracized by their peers”

“If you see a human crying, do not immediately assume they are hurt. Humans have been known to use their ‘acting’ abilities to trick unsuspecting travelers into giving up an unreasonable number of belongings”

“All interstellar travelers are required to read up on popular ‘scams’ or ‘cons’ performed by humans in the region they are traveling to”

[kurara-black-blog]

I just love the "they're more scared of you than you are of them" thing because, yeah, Earth is a Deathworld filled with very dangerous beings, but also everyone in it is scared and would rather not interact with each other unless necessary

Alien: This is a very dangerous animal!

Human: Don't worry, we'll just walk away.

Alien: But it's watching us!

Human: It's hoping we leave already, so we're leaving.

Alien: It... It is?

Human: Yeah, it is more scared of us than we are of it. Let's go before the fight instinct kicks in because then it'll become a dangerous animal

Alien:...

[what-if-i-just-did]

So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

[oatmealdaydreams]

I see a lot of Humans pack-bonding with creatures they view as their own young, but I also wanna talk about how young humans pack-bonding with creatures older than them because they view them as a guardian.

Like, think some sort of human kiddo is wandering around a massive spaceship. No one knows who they belong to, nor where they came from. One of the resident aliens sees that there's a very young (read: age 9) human wandering around alone and without another human around. The kiddo probably got lost or something.

So, this alien tries to help find this kid's pack or their guardian, whatever, and well...the kid kinda just. attaches to them.

As like a This Is My Guardian Now scenario.

And now the alien has a little human to worry about because they won't go stay with anyone else. The kiddo pack-bonded with the alien. That's it. The kid won't leave, and they get really sad when the alien tries to give them to another human.

Imagine all the shenanigans with this big, fearsome alien...and the little human kiddo that attached themself to the alien.

[blueapplesiren]

Aliens are gonna be gobsmacked by our urge to pack bond with everyone and everything on the ship, but just wait until humans are pack bonding with THE SHIP ITSELF. Giving her a nickname. Insisting on “she/her” pronouns for the ship because ‘tradition’. Saying “ouch” in sympathy when the ship takes damage, and saying “there you go, all better,” after patching her up. Hell, I bet there will still be animists meditating and connecting with the spirit of the ship on a regular basis and thanking her for doing such a good job.