#However since he's not a human he likely has a different center of gravity and thus can stand

[thatradfailure]

Hey chat, how come there's not that many anthro kiwi Sniper designs? Not like I looked for any but the kiwi Sniper tag is mainly just fuzzy orbs.

Anyway his parents are dingos in this specific furry AU-

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #51

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 3, I Know Where I'm Going, threshold

This post was last edited 06/18/2024.

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are still long.

However, I think they are no longer longest-length though it is rather difficult to be sure.

Crowley has crossed the bookshop threshold. There are plenty of humans around but another known supernatural presence with Shax being another demon, besides Crowley himself.

The idea behind the forming connection in my theory is that Crowley's sideburns stay longer due to an expanding border around the bookshop. He'll have to go for a drive to shorten the sideburns further when Aziraphale returns.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The more saturated red streak of hair can be found, but it possibly disappears or is a lot harder to find when Crowley's moving more and showing stronger emotions. Sometimes it even looks duplicated or shifted to the right front part of his hair.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The hairstyle changes during the scene because tendrils form and spread when Crowley's more frantic with Shax moving around using different bodies.

Then it smooths over. The front hair swoops in and out in the center when Crowley's telling Shax to get out of the way. Once inside the bookshop but still holding the door open, the hair looks darker. The front starts to tilt to Crowley's right, something that tends to happen when Crowley is closer to Gabriel. By that point, Gabriel is on screen in the background for some cuts. The hair looks even darker once Crowley's closer to Shax and preparing to close the door.

When thinking and comparing all of this movement with the preceding scene, the front hair is not as defined in being centered at the front.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

Crowley starts with two questions, "Shax? Where are you?" Conceivably, he earns a touch with a raised platform in front of the door to the bookshop since he goes through the trouble of making sure his left foot is partly over the edge of such a thing.

After that, the earthly objects touched by both demons are actually the humans, and in Shax's case, maybe whatever that human is touching or holding. Otherwise, dialogue points are mostly names and questions.

When Crowley has the door open, Gabriel has a "Hello" with "Hello, customer!" Shax follows that up with a question to Crowley that includes the number "two".

Gabriel has background touches with books since he keeps dropping them to test gravity.

...

For paying attention to the pockets...

The Tied Hands probably retie. Because this game loves to mess with an audience player, the touch with a clasp to a lapel edge happens as Crowley says, "I'm not playing these games."

Liar! He's lying! He's lying, Your Honor.

Admittedly, it is funny.

For this retying, these are the shots where it feels like Crowley's actual hands are up to something and meant to be noticed:

Crowley's left hand touches his jacket when he says the word, "happy" for instance. I don't know if that's just for the retying this time around or something more than that.

Both Shax and Crowley make repeated pockets with their arms.

Various human pocket users are around in the background.

While Gabriel ends up playing shoulder-angel to Crowley, Gabriel does also end up visually pocketed between the demons on screen.

...

Story Commentary

The camera starts viewing from a top angle and down, much like it did in episode 1, so maybe Saraqael or someone in Heaven is watching.

From memory and checking some transcripts, the word "threshold" is only verbally stated once in this story, and it is here.

That's our Clue with a capital "C" that thresholds are important in this story.

While that significance is understood with the demon invasion of episodes 5 and 6, the word use is still yet another clue regarding Crowley's sideburns and the 6 Threshold Tricks.

For whatever is happening with the expanding sideburns border, Crowley is implied, but not confirmed, to have at least one foot on the road and one on the sidewalk, maybe even the edge of the sidewalk. There's a human far behind him with such a position, presumably to be a clue for such a thing.

When Crowley has the door open and talks to Shax, the camera never confirms his actual touches to that door. There is a point where it looks like the lapel of his jacket might be touching it, but then following cuts show that there is a gap, as if to say it's an illusion or discredit and that the jacket is not actually touching the door. Crowley could be up to more than I know since he's such an expert with this type of thing in Earthly Objects.

Crowley's line about Shax maybe spotting an archangel is another clue that he himself might have been an archangel before his fall.

In the cut where Crowley says he's technically not capable of allowing Shax into the bookshop, I think she is reflected in his sunglasses. I've actually never noticed until drafting this post. The previous two similar reflections had a character holding an earthly object and showing it to Crowley. This one does not. I take that to mean the holding and showing an earthly object is not an actual requirement for Crowley to be able to see that character. He has selective sight. These reflections are clues about The Window Trick.

I bet Crowley could have invited Shax into the bookshop. Aziraphale will be able to do it with Crowley's car in the next episode.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[leafy-ocean]

GUIDE TO QUABBI!

Hello!

You may have been browsing my blog so far, and have noticed that my species of fursona isn't a common one. You would be quite correct! Here is a huge dump of info on my fursona, his species, and his lore, thus far:

You see, my fursona is something I made up myself. The original species I came up with is called the Quabbi, or individually, a quabbit. Their species resembles a cat, rabbit, dolphin and human hybrid, but in the lore I have created, they in fact come from a close galaxy nearby, the Andromeda galaxy. They live in a galaxy similar to ours, with one sun, a few planets here and there. Right in the sweet spot is a planet called Deheldio. On Deheldio, the quabbits thrive as the main species of their planet. Their culture centers around agriculture, peace, and have been fascinated by space since their species gained sentience. The quabbit species have a lifespan of slightly double a human's, ranging 200-250 years, but their way of aging is much different to ours. They reach maturity around age 18 like humans do, but then they don't begin to show signs of aging til the late 200's. This makes innovation a whole different level of complex; you have minds aged decades upon decades working on the same ideas of those born in the last two. It made progression much more dramatic, yet streamlined between the best connections. In this universe, it is a parallel universe of Futurama. In the year 3069, Rio Geo's grandfather, who was the president of the planet of the time, made a peace treaty between Earth and Deheldio; By throwing the largest orgy in human history. Initially, humans discovered Deheldio and wanted to claim the planet as their own, but Rio Geo's grandfather convinced Zapp Brannigan himself to throw such a historical orgy. Rio never met his grandfather because he was born in the year 3399, but learned about him in school growing up and idolized him. Since quabbi breed so much, living in families of 3-5 adults and 5-12 children at a time, it was common to be related to historical figures.

In this lore, Rio exists in the year 3420. He works at "Space Amazon," ran by the head in a jar, Elon Musk. The head of Jeff Bezos sold it to him in the year 3402, and ever since Elon has made it a requirement to post updates and selfies to twitter, to make sure you are at work doing your tasks. At space amazon, you are assigned a one-man delivery ship to do your daily tasks and deliveries, and though it may be full time and a pain in the ass, Rio accepts it. Better pay than his planet, he always says. Since he began working there, he was able to save up for his own ship, complete with a kitchenette, full bathroom, living room with a huge TV, and 3 bedrooms, which is like heaven for a quabbit. Here he resides with his partner, Jak Rue, traveling space together. While Rio works, Jak works from "home" as a interstellar web designer. He designs and presents websites, programs, games, training exercises, and can facilitate 3d simulations and more from his own high-tech holo-top (like a laptop but its phone sized and projects the screen and keyboard and mouse) without needing to move. However, this doesn't stop him from being active; He is the most neat and articulated quabbit Rio has ever met. When Jak is not working, he's cleaning, cooking, exercising, gaming on the 3d-rig, or working on anything the ship may need working on. Without Jak, Rio couldn't have gotten this far, and vice versa. Their companionship is stronger than gravity in a black hole.

Quabbits have a unique set of reproductive quirks. All quabbi are born with both a vagina and penis. the only defining characteristics that a human could catagorize as male or female would be that "females" have breasts to feed their young, but other than that there is not a huge difference between the defined sexes. On Deheldio, gender is a much more nuanced concept, and much less important to consider in daily life. It's more about comfort and expression to the quabbi. Quabbi also lay eggs every month or so.

Quabbi also have several different traits that can be seen as "rare," as shown in this chart:

About 80% of the population is shown in green, 10% in yellow, 7% in orange, and 3% in red.

Here are two reference sheets that show these traits highlighted:

I hope this was helpful with explaining how my fursona works! if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask, and I'll reply and/or update this post accordingly! Til then, Thank you for reading and I hope you make a quabbit of your own! (tag me if you do!)

[tomster1274]

wait actually your scrimblo thing is lowkey interesting. tell me about the fucked up funnyguys i wanna know allll about them every single anatomy deet 👁️

Sure. I'm abt to make this alllll up (and some of it most definitely won't be realistic, or even make sense!) but also I'm the number one researcher on scrimblos, I'm allowed to. Biology/anatomy deets under the cut.

Well, we have THREE main species to be taking a look at, and we'll go in order:

God+Angels

Alternates/Spoopy Ghosts

Scrimblos

But we do need to talk first about the world before the species;

The World

The scrimblo world is not like ours. Although it has life and looks similar to ours, it's actually tinier than ours, meaning species have to be smaller than ours due to smaller land to use (which is why scrimblos are so short).

There's a God behind it all, carefully planning everything to happen (although those plans can be foiled), including evolutions, tragic history events, etc. This also isn't a perfect following of regular Christianity (where all animals were made by God), rather God set out the ingredients and plan and let everything take place based somewhat off of his plans, letting it bake into whatever so long as it didn't go too off course.

Due to intervention by Dab-riel, some species aren't the sames as ours, including scrimblos themselves, and evolution due to this was different than ours, although most species stayed the same (dinosaurs, fish, etc), some never came to be (most notable is crustaceans, they've been replaced rather with worms). You get to hear more about this later.

Heaven is a distinct place, it's where all things go when they die, where God's "center" is, and where angels are made/reside. It is on Earth, and it is in the same area as the clouds, however no regular animal/person can see this due to Heaven being hidden with special material that makes it basically invisible (think dark matter in space). It's a place with low gravity and where most everything feels light, like it's just air, and where most things are basically just that, air or tiny tiny molecules. Planes and etc can pass through like it's some cell membrane, but because most everything is invisible/too tiny to see, think it's just apart of the sky. Any angels residing there when that happens are usually hidden too, being broken down into tiny molecules.

Onto the actual species listed;

God

God is tricky. God does not actually have any kind of form. Rather it is more like he is just a concept. He's in the air, in brains, etc. But, he does have a control center in a way, where most of his energy can be comprehended, in Heaven. It's basically like the nucleus of a cell for him.

The universe and all of that is God's cell basically, Heaven is his nucleus, and the Angels are his DNA. Angels are created from space dust essentially, like how our planets were, being crushed into a form and coming alive through God giving them electricity to run through them, acting like their own neurons since they aren't comprised of living cells.

How does he control the space dust and the electrons to do this? Centers gravity in a specific place, pulling in through specific electrons and etc. How he does that? Idk, he's God, he's everything and everywhere so :shrug:.

God tend to speak to Angels through this electricity, making them stimulate (usually positively, sometimes negatively), and they interrupt these signals as words/language, telling them things (this is also why God is able to talk to humans as well).

Angels

As said before, angels are made from non-living components and come "alive" through electricity. They are usually formed to be alike to what regular humans look like just in more statue forms, since they're made from non-living components like copper and the sort. Most of the time they look something like this ⬇.

Why are they modeled after humans? Something to do with God's plan for the world and how humans(now scrimblos though) were gonna be the most advanced species to help with his plans for the world, and a familiar face most likely help to convince them to help with these plans in their own special way.

However, these forms are only made when they need to touch down on Earth or some other physical place, and in Heaven usually are broken down into tiny molecules inhabited by electricity, easily being able to stick together again whenever the time comes.

Anyways, Dab-riel is a special case. He does have a true form, which is the statue up above, however to appeal to humans better, he wanted a different form to switch to for them. So, he tried to manipulate the water and light naturally found in the air, reflecting what he wanted to be seen as, just this little short cartoon-y angel (y'know how white light can create rainbows? He did something similar).

While Dab-riel projects this form, his real form is mostly broken down like in Earth, little pieces of his molecules in the water to help control the form better and to not lose himself while trying to project the form. (Btw he manipulates light+water to move through his electricity, idk how truly, but most likely heats up through water to keep it moving and to help create slight steam to better project the light).

All angels can touch things of course, whenever they do they're slightly heated and buzz underneath the surface due to the electricity running through them. Dab-riel's other form however is hot like the way sunlight feels while also feeling just like water, making touching him basically like touching boiling water.

Angels, in their real forms, cannot move usually though, in the way that they can't move their "limbs" or etc, and instead use reflection to make it appear like they are (just like Dab-riel uses reflection to cast a whole different form, but instead they use it to create tricks for the eye for their regular form), and break themselves down to move around places.

Alternates

Alternates, as said before, are and were created by Dab-riel and are abominations of creatures.

Let's start off with the first ever alternate. The first ever alternate was made to kill two humans psychologically and that was it's only function. It's tissue was the same as a worm's, easy to mold and easier to move, and it's brain had to be specially crafted however, Dab-riel cheated though and used a human's and modified it slightly (mostly by adding in some more hormones) to make it more aggressive. It didn't have a stomach or anything (no need to eat or anything), mostly just a simple neurvous system, respiratory system so it could actually talk, and a mouth/vocalbox to torture his victims into the whole suicide thing through psychological torture.

Alternates since then have changed, but one thing that's stayed the same is flexible skin, and most in their true forms have very slimy skin like a slugs, black goop coming from little pores in their skin to help keep them moist (helps with moving and etc).

Anyways, alternates have changed over time with their design, starting to need to disguise themselves as human, and have essentially started to pick up some chameleon type ability where they are able to morph their bodies into specific shapes, instead of colors, through specialized muscles and ever changing bone structures, meaning their brains also need to start providing more growth hormones and even pain killers.

So, now, they have not only integrumantary(??? The skin system)+ respiratory and nervous systems, but endocrine+muscle+bone systems.

So anyways. A lot of the changes to humans. They have slimier and more flexible skins (like worms), they have bones that break and are rebuilt (any parts unused are broken down for energy), they have muscles that help to morph their form and skin, they have a respiratory system not only to produce ATP(energy), but to help them talk, an endocrine system to help with growth by hormones, and a nervous system of course to have a brain to maintain all of this and to help them think of course.

They can only gain through energy through making their own food through reusing cells and the respiratory cycle (the one that produces CO^2), and morphing into different forms takes energy, meaning at some point they must go to their true forms or die from exhaustion.

Now, you might be saying, "Oh, ATP really isn't that much energy." And well idc, ATP is doubled for alternates due to their body using less energy due to not having to do things like digest. Ok that's it for alternates I promise.

Scrimblos

Scrimblos are the "human" species of this world, but they are vastly different to us.

Back to that one thing at the top I mentioned about some species never even existing, due to this, evolution of mammals has been mightily different to ours.

Instead of fish coming up to walk on Earth and lay their eggs and all that fancy stuff, it was instead worms finding their way from out of the ocean into the soil that helped to jump kick life on land.

Oceanic creatures evolutions did also change, but I don't wanna focus on that, rn we're focusing on mammals and humans, so anyways;

Because worms were the first to make it onto land, they also were the first to start digest autotrophs, aka plants, and went from eating just dead biological matter, to ALIVE biological matter, their bodies starting to develop teeth and bones to help with this process of eating rougher food.

As they grew bones, they also needed to be able to support more weight, starting to grow muscles to help movement and actual limbs. They also started to develop better digestion systems because of their growing supply of food, and even more tougher skin and hair because of winter freezing them (hair warms) and tougher terrains to go through (tree barks and etc).

I don't wanna spend a bunch of time explaining the rest of evolution history, but basically: They developed eyes, they grew, they split into groups based on habitats (these groups would later become lizards, insects and mammals), after a bunch of climate stuff lizards and etc are made and yadda yadda yadda. Ofc everything is just much more squishy and stuff.

Ok, now monkeys are different than ours, they have larger eyes and bigger sweat glands due to the evolution and also don't really talk, more use their vocal chords for small things like screaming for help or something, and lots of other fun stuff.

So, our scrimblos evolve from these monkeys, and this is why a lot of them have large eyeballs and stuff.

Our scrimblos are shorterer than us, the average height is 3', because of the tiny world, their eyes are bigger from a trait from an evolution line of worms (they grew bigger eyes to see larger spans of areas) and these eyes also have better night vision than ours due to worms needing to see underground, they don't have very good vocals due to worms not really needing them and vocal chords being developed later for things like alerting to threats (and have had less time to perfect), they have softer/squisher skin like a cartoon's might be because of evolving from worms and never truly needing a reason for tougher skin than they have, they also act differently to us due to having a different structure in their brains.

This different structure is due to the different lobes that are used for separate things compared to ours. A lot of theirs has to do with digestion and regulating hormones due to having less development in areas like emotion, meaning they're a bit more "feral" compared to us and "dumber" as well.

Also a design choice I made was they have a slight pink tone to their skins due to worms and get sun burnt more easily too bc of that. They also have larger endocrines+digestive systems, smaller skeletal systems, tend to develop less fat, etc.

Ok I'm done now, I don't have anything else to add and I'm too tired of this to add anything more abt their biology anyways, thanks.

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Empires on the Horizon Epilogue

Jason is a CEO: Epilogue

When i started this fic (around 9 months ago-- holy hell we could have had a whole human in that time) i didn’t expect it to go in the directions it did or to produce the characters and story it did. While it’s not one of my more action-packed fics it is still very special to me because 1. it’s my first jason centered fic (of which we don’t have much of); 2. it’s my first really long multi-chap (the longest before this was 10 parts); 3. i got to explore so many of my crackships and dynamics of friendship i may not have been able to if we (for example) stuck to canon; 4. most importantly i love this fic because it started out (the very first chapter) as an original story that just was not going anywhere but when i decided to make it a fanfic, suddenly ideas were pouring from my fingers like wine from a split barrel. these characters feel as much mine as they are Rick’s (which is a dangerous path to go down and i’m not actually claiming they’re mine-- gods please don’t sue me). in short i love this fic dearly, i’m so proud of how far all these little babies have come (especially jason) and i hope you feel even a smidge the joy i feel over this, as you go on to read the very soft conclusion to Jason Grace as CEO.

masterlist; my links

[image has alt text]

There was something almost magical in the gleaming silhouette of the Manhattan skyline. There was something hopeful about it too. 

Jason Grace stepped out of his car, relishing in the sound of the gravel crunching under his feet and the babble of people all around him. His suit—  a deep blue, dark enough to look black, and glittering with tiny silver diamantes that looked like stars— clung to his shoulders and hugged his legs. The theme of the evening was “Starry Night”. He figured coming as the actual night was accurate enough. Drew and Silena had done a beautiful job on his outfit, to no-one’s surprise. He would see them here tonight, along with their husband, and the rest of his friends. And tomorrow, oh tomorrow, he would be off to Rome, with the man that filled his life with overwhelming light.

“Jase,”  Someone called out from the darkness, “Are you hiding from us because you put two different shoes on again and are too embarrassed to say?”

“Shut up Annabeth,” He laughed, “I’m coming.”

He walked towards the group of silhouettes, making out Leo and Annabeth, and Nico and Will, and coming from behind them were the dressmakers and their Charles. Hazel and Frank would be making an appearance later in the night.

“You all look beautiful.” He smiled, hugging them, kissing cheeks and foreheads, relishing in their closeness and their comfort, as he has always done. And they did in fact look beautiful. Annabeth in a dress of blue swirling around her and pooling at her feet— the colours matched the sapphire on her ring finger; Leo in a matching floor-length skirt and a sheer polo-neck that showed off every clean brown line of his skin; Nico and Will, in contrast, were complete opposites, the former in a black suit with silver jewellery, and the latter in an off white with gold accents; Silena, Drew and Charlie all had on suits with various parts of the galaxy embroidered in gold, threading a spectacular tapestry through the emerald green. All in all, his friends were really hot.

“Y’all ready?” Will drawled, tilting his head to the entrance of the hotel a little way away.

“Let’s go celebrate!” He winked in response.

And then they’re walking towards the bright lights, launching into conversations and updates and work and jokes. It was familiar in the way driving home after a long time away was, or catching a waft of the specific smell of your elementary school art room, or seeing someone from your childhood and slipping into a comfortable back-and-forth.

“Jase,” Charlie scooted next to him, breaking away from his conversation with Nico, “How’s the construction for the new section of the outdoor center going? I heard you hit a snag last week with the design?”

“Yea there was a few centimeters off with one of the structures and it caused the whole area to be off balance,” He scrunched his nose, remembering the horror from last week. “I’m just grateful we caught it in time.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since that center went up,” His friend marvelled, eyes wide with the disbelief of time. He knew the feeling well.

“It’s crazy. I came back from my holiday and then everything was just on fast forward.” He shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “I’m happy though, with the progress and how far we’ve come.”

“You’ve just burst and grown and brightened,” There’s that soft smile, the one that made all of Jason’s insides turn to mush. The one that told him he was loved in every capacity.

“I know.” He felt the blush creeping up his skin, pale after the long winter months. “I don’t owe it to myself though. All of you guys have—” 

“No way mister,” Annabeth chimed in, “You absolutely owe it to yourself. You got yourself there, we just cheered you on.”

“Yea,” Leo nudged his arm, a gentleness shimmering in his brown eyes. “You were the hero of your own story.”

He muttered thank you’s and tried to embrace the blush but their love and joy and pride still drowned him. Before anyone else could pile on the sincerity they were walking into the lobby and being ushered to the large, elegant ballroom three doors down.

There was a collective gasp from their group, audible even above the low hum of chatter, and the soft jazz drifting through the speakers. The entire room had been made to look like they were standing inside the middle of “Starry Night”. Like they were the townsfolk parked outside their houses witnessing the strange and magical sky above them. Swirls of blue in the draping curtains and circles of yellow in the chandeliers and wisps of the cypress trees growing from the walls as if the very room had been built around a tree.

“This is—” He didn’t even have the words to fully express his awe. If he were an art major he would have died from the beauty of it all. As it stood he could barely keep himself up.

“I know,” A voice said quietly from behind him. “It’s almost divine.”

He didn’t say anything, didn’t even turn around to see who it was. He simply stepped back and let arms envelope him. He didn’t need to check, because he knew, he would always know. In the heat of their skin, and the hum of their voice, and the love that radiated between them like scorching summer sun.

“Moró mou,” He sighed, tipping his head back to rest against a shoulder. From this angle he could see blazing green eyes and jet-black curls, and impossibly high cheekbones, and a jaw sculpted by Michaelangelo.

“Hello my love,” Percy Jackson smiled. “How are you?”

“Happy.” He muttered, lips brushing against his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Good,” The man nodded, squeezing his waist where his arms still wrapped around. “Are you going to be okay tonight?”

“I will not just survive through it,” His eyes crinkled at the corner as pure joy washed through him, “I will live through it, and I will enjoy every minute of it.” He knew the reason for the question, for the concern. But tonight it was not needed. He was nothing but excited and elated for the hours, and then days, weeks, years to come.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

A glass tinkled somewhere to their right, grabbing their attention. And then Zoe and Reyna were stepping together and drawing people towards them as if they were gravity, magnets, the center. They looked it certainly: Zoe in a stark white dress, hugging her figure, shimmering like stardust every time she moved; and Reyna in a watery blue, gauzy and flowing in time with her body, where she goes it will ripple behind her.

“Thank you,” His lawyer started, giving them a dazzling smile. “For being here. All of you.” She looked them each in the eye, her own filled with love and… were those tears? From his no nonsense, boss lady lawyer? Oh he was so going to give her a hug and then tease her endlessly about it. 

“We have a thousand people to thank for all of this,” She gestured to the room, “And a thousand more to thank just for being here, but that will come in the form of surprise take-me-homes at the end of the night.”

“However,” Zoe’s voice, still as strong and quiet as ever, rang out across the room. “There are two people we would like to thank right here, right now.” Her smile lit up the world as her eyes landed on them. “In typical us fashion, it’s a little out of the ordinary but please can both our ex-boyfriend’s come up here.” 

The crowd burst into laughter, him and Percy with them, as they detangled themselves from each other and walked hand in hand to the front of the room.

“As you can see,” Reyna grinned. Jason held in the groan he knew would accompany her next words. “We did a Partner Swap.”

The laughter only loudened, people whistling, and clapping in time with their amusement.

“I will spare you the sordid details,” Zoe’s own giggling softened to a smile, “But two years ago, after Jason and I had broken up, I called him in a panic asking for help. And despite being on a much needed holiday where he happened to meet a certain someone,” She winked at them, eyebrows waggling comically, “He listened to me, then made use of his contacts and connected me with Reyna.”

“And after I charmed the suit off of her, and won her lawsuit,” Reyna stepped in, grinning wildly, “She agreed to pop open a bottle of champagne and celebrate our win.”

“I’m not quite sure about the charming part, angel.” Zoe quirked an eyebrow, “But yes one champagne bottle and the rest was history.”

“In conclusion to this whole ordeal,” His lawyer turned to them, “Jase, Percy, we have a present for you, to thank you for loving us, and for loving us enough to let us go, and furthermore for bringing us together.”

Zoe handed them an envelope but before they bothered to open it they pulled the women in for a hug, thanking and congratulating them. He would not change what they had for the world. He will be grateful forever. He will love them even longer.

Percy ripped open the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He leaned over his boyfriend’s shoulder and read with him.

The universe has a funny way of pulling stars together but we know with certainty that the four of us are born from the same constellation. Thank you for everything. We know we can never really repay you but please accept this as a start. 

Tucked into the last fold of the paper were two plane tickets to Japan. The holiday they had discussed once, a Saturday game night that ended with the four of them huddled around the fire in Zoe’s apartment, chattering softly about this and that. Printed in small font at the bottom of the page was a cherry blossom branch and more text that read,

Get married losers, we want joint holidays so we can get the couples packages.

He bubbled with laughter at that, and looked up at his friends, tears pooling in his own eyes.

“Alright everyone!” Reyna clapped her hands, gathering the attention of the humming crowd. “Let’s get this engagement party started.”

And then music filled the room and people dragged each other to the middle of the space and there were cheers as the song came into focus and truly Jason understood the meaning of life that night.

After they had thanked Reyna and Zoe again, and chatted with their other friends Percy pulled him to the dance floor.

“Jase,” His boyfriend cupped the back of his neck, arranging their bodies into a work of art. “We have wonderful friends.”

“The very best,” He agreed, swaying their hips in time with the beat. “We have built an empire with them by our side.”

“Will you be the emperor then?”

“There is no monarchy in this kingdom,” He smiled, blue eyes glittering and bright. “It is just us, and our love, and everything beautiful the world has ever had to offer.” He saw oceans reflecting back at him, wonder soaking in his words, happiness pressing against his lips.

His boyfriend pressed their foreheads together, bodies still moving to music far away. “And if we look further?” Percy breathed, “Past the empire, to the horizon beyond?”

“It is all home,” Jason Grace smiled. “We are home, my love.”

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Okay there are so many people to thank and you best believe i’m going to thank them all because this fic would literally not exist without them.

@nishlicious-01​​ my favourite person, my biggest supporter and the only person who gets to shout at me when im writing fanfic at 1am because i’m not sleeping but also because ‘why am i not reading it ciara????’

@queen-of-demons-and-hell​​ for every comment, every like, every complaint you took when the writing demon was on strike. you have my heart. id be lost and a little lonely without you.

@leyontheway​​ your comments on this fic were golden and i often came back to them just for that extra burst of motivation and serotonin. i found a friend in you and now i can’t imagine my life without you.

@msdrpreist​​ Sky, mi cielo, you are one in a billion and i cannot believe i found you (and you me) across all this space and time. thank you for your unwavering support and your wonderful thoughts.

@larrikin-is-a-himbo​​ when we started this fic i believe you were @/queenbrunnhilde (or something to that effect) but although your username has changed your loveliness and endless support hasn’t. Thank you for sticking along for the ride

@spoopylucy​​​ Lucy... what do i even say to the person who singlehandedly changed my day, week, mood every time i saw a reblog from them? your tags were the start and the end. they made every upload an exciting task. and i knew no matter what happened in the fic or how long it took as soon as i got a notif from you i couldn’t be anything but happy. thank you my Luce, you’re an angel!

@not-hiesenberg​ for being my ‘ciara what the fuck even does this say? do you know how to spell?’ checker when i was too tired (more like too lazy) to do it myself.

@lesbian-peanuts​​ thank you for the love! you were one of the first people interested in this little universe and i can never thank you enough for that​

@legendary-cupcake​​ your spam when reading this was such a happy moment in my life and im ecstatic that you stayed for the ride! thank you​

to all the people on my tag list, who have liked this fic, and especially those who have commented: i see you, i love you, and i thank you with a heart full of happiness. you changed my world.

[slasherscream]

A/N: shout-out to that one anon on bloodybrahms’ blog forever ago where they were like ginger fitzgerald x jennifer check x jd x reader. their mind?? i haven’t known peace since seeing the concept. 

coincidentally, you as well, will never know a moment of peace again. 

your relationship is overflowing with chaos. you can’t let your guard down for even a second because that’s the exact moment one of your partners will choose to strike and do some absolute bullshit™. it is imperative that you never take your eyes off them or leave any of them on their own. 

if you cannot stay with them at all times at least take care to make sure you never leave all three of them alone together. nothing good has ever come from you doing this.

you act as the impulse control for all three of your partners. they straight up don’t know how to act without you around. 

let’s talk about the chaotic dynamics and features of this relationship, shall we-

○ ginger and jennifer ....where to start. they dislike each other so much, both on the fundamental levels of their personalities and also as supernatural entities. werewolves and demons aren’t like…. natural enemies or anything but they can be Genuine Threats™ to one another so their hackles are always a little raised around each other.

○ that aside, jennifer is the exact type of girl ginger hated in high-school. she took one glance at jennifer and said "what a fucking vapid wanna-be barbie looking slut" and she hasn't changed her mind since. 

○ meanwhile, jennifer thinks ginger is just.... beneath her. she wouldn't have hated a girl like ginger back in high-school because she never would've fucking noticed her. once she is forced to acknowledge ginger as a sentient, living being due to your poly relationship she's just.... aggravated by her. if jennifer had to put into words what she doesn't like about the other girl it would be how fucking judgmental she is. absolutely rich coming from jennifer of all people but she's serious! you're gonna sit here.... and hate her.... because she's popular and sexy?? are you fucking twelve?? you mangy, pathetic, edgy, "i only listen to evanescence" ass bitch (and she means the bitch part literally.)

at best their relationship could MAYBE wind up like that exchange from jumanji: welcome to the jungle:

Professor Shelly Oberon : Seriously, I can't even open my mouth around you. You don't even know me, but you, like, decided you hate me.

Ruby Roundhouse : Look, I just think you live in, like, the "hot popular girl" bubble, you know, where everybody either treats you like a princess or like an object. Maybe it makes you a little self-absorbed or something?

Professor Shelly Oberon : That's fair. But do you think that maybe the reason why you are so judgy is because you are like afraid that people are not gonna like you, so you've decided not to like them first? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.

but realistically they will never have a conversation this open and honest. they'll stick to bickering and being catty, thank you very much. occasionally they are so catty that they start literally fighting and yes, your house will get destroyed every time some shit pops off between them. please have everything insured. 

○ funnily enough they both like/love jd!! off the bat they both find him incredibly attractive. jennifer saw him and said "yummy.com, much?" ginger did not say anything but watched him like a hungry....well, wolf. honestly though looks weren't enough to keep either of them interested in someone when they were plain human and un-traumatized       let alone now. in fact, considering that jennifer is a succubus her finding jd hot only put him in danger adjkl.

○ lucky for him he was surprisingly resistant to her physical charm/succubus powers/allure when she first approached him, planning to make him her next meal. while she totally took his disinterest as a challenge because uhm?? are you fucking blind?? i'm a fucking buffet?? all i serve is looks?? it also made her respect him quite a bit. jennifer takes very few people seriously. her respecting someone so soon after meeting them is actually a way bigger deal than her liking them. 

○ jd takes some time to warm up to jennifer but not as much as you'd think? while he might roll his eyes at her popular, mean girl shtick he's very observant and sees that there's more to jennifer than meets the eye.

○ the fact that he doesn't immediately hop into her bed just because she sticks her chest out gives him enough time to see beneath her surface and surprises her enough that she let's him. there are plenty of things he likes about her. he admires the way she can just...bend the world to her will. when she wants something she gets it, no matter what. he loves that?? she's very dynamic and bold. excitement either follows her or she chases after it. and unlike a lot of charismatic or popular people jennifer lacks the one trait jd absolutely can't stand       being fake. jennifer doesn't hide the fact that she's a stone cold bitch. she always says exactly what she means or what's on her mind. overall jennifer is an addicting personality to have around and even jd falls for her charm eventually.

○ jennifer won't say it but realizing jd actually cares about her and likes her as a person is what makes her fall, you know       because she's a fucking narcissist... just kidding. it catches her off guard for someone to fall for her because of who she is and not what she looks like. it makes her vulnerable for just long enough that she sees all the things that are good about jd and BOOM, she's in love. now she's got two mates and one annoying hang around whom she also has sex with because she's not hideous (her mate, ginger is also her mate, she just likes ginger less than she likes the two of you.)

○ ginger loves jd's intensity. they're pretty much ' same hat! ' relationship wise.

ginger: men are fucking worthless jd: *walks around fucking unhinged* ginger: ....one man allowed 

○ she genuinely loves his personality and he genuinely loves hers right on back. they're kind of just...mirrors of each other in a lot of ways but there's just enough difference between them that they don't piss each other off. other than their tempers they get along really well because they think the same way?? have the same ideas?? want to do the same things?? kill the same people?? you know bonding shit. they're kind of perfect together? they completely understand one another. they are probably the most like-minded of the whole relationship, not the closest, but they think pretty much the exact same shit, i cannot emphasize this enough. they can make eye contact and know exactly what the other is thinking and they love that. lowkey best friends. highkey you cannot let them go on dates alone. 

○ where do you fit in here? uhm you're the glue and stability of this relationship. sure they all love or begrudgingly (and secretly) like each other but you're like.... gravity. essential and holding the world together, keeping everything balanced. you were probably the start of the relationship to begin with. they all knew you and were growing to love you separately and then each realized they had competition but while they were trying to fight each other off they just sorta...got used to one another. and none of them were willing to give you up so it's lucky they decided to share or it would've been a fucking bloodbath to put it lightly. none of them have self control or boundaries. to get what they want they'd all go ridiculously far... i don't know what's farther than murder but they'd do it. 

○ they all depend on you emotionally, honestly. you're their closest friend, the person they can be vulnerable with, someone they trust to take care of them in the way that matters most. they love you because you make them all feel....human (even jd who is the only actual human besides you. but you get the point.)

sometimes they get jealous of each other, which is ridiculous, because you're almost always together as a group. you do occasionally go off in pairs or to separate outings/activities/dates but generally?? you're all together. it's typically more like-

ginger: you've been hanging off y/n all fucking day, jennifer! they barely fucking smell like me anymore. jennifer: what's so bad about that? you smell fucking disgusting- jd: *grabs ginger around the waist before she can jump across the kitchen counter and beat jen's ass*

however!! there isn't as much inter-group jealously as you'd believe! they actually enjoy having a relationship involving four people.

it feels very secure to them? first off they all feel better in regards to you. they don't worry so much about anything happening to you because you have three over-protective partners who would die and kill for you. they also don't worry about you leaving them because you're so.... you. unlike other, unnamed people they so desperately clung to in the past they know you're not going anywhere. they feel secure enough in their connection with you to be as codependent as possible :)))

(also.... you couldn't leave if you tried lmao. get away from one of them? sure       maybe. get away from all three?? *cue clown music* they'd use ginger as a hunting hound and track you by scent alone.)

the four person relationship feels incredible to ginger because it satisfies her need to have a pack? she'd only ever had her sister before and you know how....close, they were. having more than one, single person to be emotionally attached to/invested in really helps center ginger? it also makes it easier to be in a relationship with her? she can be very intense and focused and she puts a lot of energy into her relationship. having that focus and intensity spread out amongst multiple partners is great for her and for them. 

jennifer only ever really felt connected to one person, needy. losing her was....a lot. she never thought she'd be close to anyone again let alone to three people. she can't stand the mutt sometimes but she loves you and jd!! and she loves being loved. not lusted after. not admired. not envied. loved, genuinely loved. she may be a demon, she might not have a soul anymore, but she does have a heart, and every day she's with the three of you it feels a little less broken. 

since the..."untimely" death of jd's mother (and arguably, even while she was still alive) he's never had any roots. no solid connection. no one to belong to or with. before you, ginger, and jennifer he was just...drifting. when you three came into his life it was like hearing a sudden gunshot in the middle of a calm forest. it was electrifying, and maybe even a little scary. he went from having absolutely nothing to having everything, all at once. for the first time in a long time he has something to be grateful for. he would do anything for the three of you. he'd burn the world to the ground just to see you three smile.  

jd goes on several motorcycle rides a week because while you guys have like two cars...he keeps his motorcycle because jennifer, ginger and you think it's hot and none of you are very practical. he must treat all of you to the delight that is the wind flowing through your hair while you're on the back of his bike. jennifer doesn't like helmet hair but she likes the sexiness factor. ginger likes that it's dangerous so jd always speeds when he's with her, you're not sure how they don't get arrested?? 

date nights are such a nightmare because you guys are all very opinionated?? and particular. you and jd are probably the most easy-going but that doesn't really help because jennifer and ginger are always going to be picky about what you guys wind up doing and they'll say no to whatever the other suggests just on principal. just for their own amusement. 

ginger, jennifer and jd are so over-protective of you. you're such a delicate little human?? how have you been surviving without them?? you need them to take care of you. 

sometimes you'll be like "why the fuck aren't you two stifling jd? he's a human too!!" and they're like "no he's different" which is such bullshit but also like....jd is fucking unhinged. he can take care of himself. you are their baby. 

ginger and jennifer are forever arguing about who is going to transform you and jd. you would think they’d at least agree that one of you is gonna get turned into a demon and one will become a werewolf, at least for the sake of balance, but they literally can’t even agree on THAT let alone which supernatural creature you or jd will wind up as. you two have minimal input in this choice sorry :/ this is werewolf and succubus beef. humans be silent.

you staying human isn't a choice because humans are weak and die so quickly. unacceptable?? ginger is gonna live a long ass time and jennifer is probably immortal. they are not winding up stuck with each other just because you and jd thought you could escape them in death?? fuck you. 

ginger needs all three of you to smell like her. yes, even jennifer. but mostly you and jd as you're her two humans and Preferred Mates. jennifer can smell her scent on you all but she doesn't need to smell it?? it's not instinctual?? meanwhile it straight up gives ginger anxiety when you guys don't smell like her. it's just part of werewolf mating. honestly while ginger smells different from humans she doesn't smell like dog, jennifer just likes to say that to piss her off. if she did smell like dog jennifer wouldn't touch her and would gripe any time she touched you or jd. 

cuddling is such a fucking nightmare. you guys have the biggest couch in the world and it's still a fucking ordeal. every two person couple activity is fucking ordeal for local poly couple.

it's a debate every time about who's going to sit where or who's going to hold who. oh jennifer likes to sit on the armrest? cool. except she wants to cuddle with you, but you want to sit in the middle today, and jd wants his arms around you, but ginger is laying in his lap and refuses to move cause he was riding on his bike too long today and stopped smelling like her so she'll bite him if he moves. 

your life is literally that "man has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river." riddle i'm so fucking sorry for you.

jennifer likes to buy you and jd clothes. she stopped bothering getting stuff for ginger because the mutt is always so ungrateful of jennifer's taste in clothing. to be fair jennifer only buys a few things that are a bit out of you or jd's comfort range, she tends to buy things that will make you look hot but that you'd also get for yourself. 

jd goes shopping with her because he doesn't like leaving any of his partners alone for long. like he doesn't enjoy it he's also not going to bitch about it like other "dutiful" boyfriends who are left holding a few shopping bags and purses. you can't go out with your girlfriend and hold her shit for her for a couple hours?? can't give her a few minimal responses on whether something looks good or bad??? fuck you. also stop looking at his girlfriend before he pulls out his gun. 

they all encourage the worst of each others possessiveness. not only because being around each other makes it feel normal because they all agree this is a perfectly healthy amount of possessiveness but also because they all think of being possessive as something romantic. you know they love you because they'll rip apart anyone who looks at you for two long!!! 

when you wake up in the morning it's chaos. someone's hair is always in someone's mouth and ginger is a very wild sleeper. especially as it gets closer to the full moon. one of you will wind up on the floor even though you have two king mattresses pushed together. jennifer is one second away from tying ginger up before the four of you go to bed. 

you don't really have to worry much about ginger's transformation?? like she won't hurt you and jd during it because she knows that you two are her mates, she's pretty docile around you two (for a werewolf). she knows that jennifer is her...something so she doesn't try to hurt her but she's also not gonna roll over and show her belly.

if anything does go wrong like ginger gets out/away from you all or out of control jennifer can get her back or put her in check no problem. werewolf cuts/bites don't hurt more than any other type of gnarly injury so jennifer is fine with doing it.

that's one of the ways you can tell jennifer gives a shit about ginger actually. even when ginger will fight her viciously when she's a werewolf jennifer mostly just does things to restrain her, not to hurt her. you'd never point that out though because just to prove she's not soft jennifer might break one of ginger's ribs or some shit next time.

the big concern is making sure ginger doesn't get hurt or caught. jd and jen don't care if she hurts anyone else frankly adjkl. to try and keep ginger running off to a minimum (because it's very hard to keep a werewolf somewhere it doesn't want to be) right before a turn jennifer will bring her own.... food, back to the house and her and ginger will kill them together?? it satiates some of the blood-lust and makes the transformations easier. 

all three of these bastards will try and kiss you or fuck you while you're covered in blood and it's a nightmare!! somehow one of them is always covered in blood!! even if jd wasn't directly involved in a killing he will come home covered in blood because he made out or had sex with one of the girls while they were covered in blood. he thinks they're beautiful when they're blood thirsty :)))

none of them are great at emotions but all three of them together almost make one-functional human being!! and they are all, to their credit, aware of the fact that they aren't great with feelings so they are already naturally over-compensating to make sure they're always taking care of all your needs. 

you: on the phone with a friend complaining about your day, minding your own business the three of them: *manifest from nowhere because their "you having human contact that isn't them" sense was tingling ginger: *snatches your phone and hangs up on your friend* jennifer: *sits in your lap* jd: *wraps an arm around you* why don't you tell us about your day, darling?

a well-oiled machine anyone?

no friends!!! only them!! you are a pack!! you are mates!! you're a family!!! fuck anyone else. 

[argyle-s]

Hello,

My name is Molly Bragg. I’m a bi trans gender author who has writing for almost three decades. I’m passionate about creating the kind of content I enjoy, which means stories that center around queer women, I’ve recently completed a original queer genre romance novel and I’m looking for help covering the cost of having it professionally edited.

To give you a preview of what you would be supporting, here’s Chapter 1:

***

Beth watched the buildings pass as the air cab carried her over Los Angeles taking in the changes the last ten years had wrought on the city.  Most of the low-income areas had been bulldozed, and those areas were now filled with alien arcologies.  Massive buildings that stretched kilometers into the sky, each one a city unto itself, and in their shadows, the skyscrapers that had once been incredible achievements of human architecture and engineering.  The buildings which had been hubs of human industry and centers of financial empires were now reduced to little more than playhouses for the backwards primitives who had the misfortune to be born natives of the Galactic Hegemony’s latest colony world. If they’d had another century or two things might have been different.  Humanity had been advancing quickly.  They wouldn’t have been on par with the technology of the Hegemony by any stretch, but they might have been able to dictate better terms.  The Gatekeepers hadn’t cared.  The gate had drifted into a stable orbit in the outer system, and the Gatekeepers had announced that, like it or not, the Sol system was being added to their vast network of space fold gates.  The first ships from the Hegemony had arrived just a month later, and ever since, Earth had been on the road to becoming the galactic equivalent of a banana republic. So far, her job and her savings had let her avoid the worst of what was happening, but unemployment was at a record high as alien automation systems replaced human labor in almost every sector.  The company she worked for had shifted gears from research and development to reverse engineering alien tech and had seen a short windfall in profits, but that was starting to vanish as the inevitable inflation drove prices up and the people they had been selling reverse engineered tech could no longer afford it. Beth wasn’t really that worried for herself.  She’d been poor before, and however much she might hate the idea she could survive being poor again.  What brought her to LA today was Sam.  Sam was getting close to graduation, and she had acceptance letters from every college that could afford postage.  A 4.0 unweighted GPA, high SAT scores, and a couple of impressive summer internships meant that schools were falling all over themselves to offer her full rides.  Ten years ago, that would have all but ensured her a bright future.  These days a PhD from Harvard, Yale, or MIT wasn’t worth the cost of paper to print the degree. People still made noise about human exceptionalism and about taking humanity’s place in the larger galactic community, but Beth had spent a lot of time over the last decade studying the history of colonization on Earth, and it never once ended well for the people being colonized.Regardless of what  happened to the colonized peoples as a whole, there were always individual exceptions...  people who avoided the fate of their brethren.  It was her determination to ensure her daughter’s future that brought her to LA today.   While billionaires had started buying their kids spots in alien schools the moment they were  allowed out of the Sol System, Beth didn’t have that option.  She was well off enough that she and Sam weren’t feeling the effects of the colonization yet, but nowhere near rich enough to buy a ticket off-world for Sam, much less pay for an off-world education.  Instead, she’d spent years looking into other options.  So far, none of her work had paid off, but she hadn’t given up hope.   She was headed to a meeting with a broker who helped place kids into programs that offered grants, scholarships and all expenses paid exchange programs.  She was going to find a way to offer her daughter a better future than most of Earth’s children could look forward to.  No matter what it took. *** “Ms. Murray, it’s so nice to meet you,” the man said as he held out his hand.  Beth took it and gave it a quick shake while trying her best not to let on that he reminded her of a used car salesman.  She needed his help, and it wouldn’t do to offend him. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Cooper.” “Please, call me Owen,” he said.  “Right this way.” He led her out of the small, brightly decorated waiting room and into a small, neat office.  He gestured to a chair in front of his desk as he walked around behind it and took his seat. “So, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here Ms. Murray.  You are looking for an opportunity for your daughter to continue her education off-world, is that correct?” “Yes,” Beth said. “Okay.  I just wanted to make sure that we’re both looking for the same outcome.  Now, I’ve gone through Samantha’s records.  Academically, she’s in great shape, and the extra-curriculars are good too.  I’ve been able to find at least twenty different programs that will accept her.” “That’s great,” Beth said, though she didn’t believe it.  She’d heard the exact same thing from more than a dozen other brokers, and she suspected she wasn’t going to hear anything new.  “What are the terms?” “It varies from program to program.  All of them require a period of indenture, but some are as low as eight years.” Beth tried to hide her disappointment.  She wanted to give her daughter a better future, not sell her into virtual slavery for almost a decade. “Owen, I’m looking for a program without any period of indenture.  I know they exist, but you’re the fifteenth broker I’ve talked to and none of them have offered even an application to an indenture free program.” “They do exist, but Ms. Murray, you must understand.  There are a lot of people who want their children to receive an off-world education, and slots which don’t require a period of indentured service are in especially high demand.” “I understand that, but I haven’t gotten high demand, I’ve gotten completely unavailable.  I’d like to know why no one will even consider letting her apply.” Owen looked at her for almost a minute, not saying anything, before he finally leaned back in his chair and let out a weary sigh. “Honestly, Ms. Murray?” “Please.” “Those slots go to the kids of billionaires, presidents, CEO’s, ambassadors, kings and other high level government types.  Each year, a handful will go to some poor kids from the ghetto so that they can parade them around as part of a puff piece about how generous the aliens are, but that’s just window dressing.  The truth is, your daughter is neither rich enough, nor poor enough to ever get one of those slots.” Beth had to bite her tongue to keep from swearing.  She wasn’t surprised at all, but she was angry and frustrated.  She’d half suspected something like that was going on, but hearing it spelled out so clearly was still enough to make her blood boil. “Isn’t there anything, any way that I can get her off-world without selling her into slavery?” “Ms. Murray, Indentured Service is hardly slavery.” “It’s close enough.” Owen stared at her for a moment, and then shook his head. “What?” “It’s nothing.” “It’s something,” she said.  “Please.” He sighed.  “It’s not something I would normally offer to someone of your background.” “What does that mean?” “It means that some aliens have cultural practices that people of Western European descent find unpalatable, while those from other cultures would find those practices perfectly normal.” “I’m not sure I follow.” “Ms. Murray, you are aware that, much to the surprise of every biologist on the planet, there are a number of species with whom humanity shares a degree of reproductive compatibility?” “I am,” she said. “Well, there is a species called the Sionnach.  They’re native to a planet called Talamh in the Grian system, and they bear a rather striking resemblance to humans.  There are differences of course, but the basic morphology is the same.  The reason I bring this up is that about eighty years ago, Talamh suffered an environmental catastrophe that wiped out nearly ninety-five percent of their population in the span of a few weeks.  Because of their reproductive practices prior to the incident, the Sionnach found themselves facing a sort of genetic bottleneck, and they decided that the best way to alleviate this was to seek an outside infusion of genetic material.” “They’re looking for breeding stock,” Beth said. “Yes.” “You can’t be serious.” “And this is why I don’t offer this option to white people,” Owen said.  “Ms. Murray, I’m not suggesting you sell your daughter off as some kind of brood mare.  The Sionnach take selection of their mates very, very seriously.  They gather applications from a number of candidates, and the Sionnach in question reviews them, and selects the ones they like.  Then, their family reviews their choices, and select a candidate.  The candidate is then brought to the house of their prospective spouse, and they spend a period of time together.  Roughly five hours.  During that time they talk, get to know each other, and decide if they want to proceed.  If both parties agree, they enter a five year engagement.  During those five years, the candidate is treated as a member of the house.  They are given a stipend, they’re educated, they’re housed, fed, provided with medical care, and they undergo medical procedures which allow them to survive on Talamh without special equipment.” “What sort of medical procedures?” “Talamh is a high gravity world with a higher-than-normal concentration of heavy metals in the environment.  Your daughter would need procedures to be able to stand up to the local gravity, and to be able to filter out metals she would not normally be able to purge from her system.  She would also undergo a type of gene therapy which would make her more resistant to radiation and give her the ability to see parts of the infrared spectrum and hear sounds normally outside of the range of human hearing.” “That sounds dangerous.” “The Sionnach are one of the founding species of the Hegemony.  Their technology is thousands of years more advanced than ours, and they’ve been doing these procedures since before humans built their first cities.” Beth shook her head.  “An arranged marriage…  I don’t know.” “If I’m honest, it’s a long shot.  You would have to take your daughter for a screening.  She’d have to pass the screening for any sort of genetic issues that would eliminate her, then she would have to be selected by one of the Sionnach.  If that happens, you and your family would have to travel to Talamh at the expense of the Sionnach house that selected her, and your daughter would have to get through the initial interview.  But if she does, she would get the education you want for her.” “And what happens at the end of the five years if she decides she doesn’t want to marry the person who selected her.” “Then she’s free to walk away.  She’d be given a small amount of money, and passage to anywhere within the Hegemony, but she’d be free to do what she wants.” “No indenture?  No repayment of expenses?” Beth asked. “No,” Owen said.  “But again, it’s a long shot, and I take my normal fee just to put you through the application process, whether she gets selected or not.” “How many humans get selected?” Beth asked. “She’d be the first,” Owen said. “What’s your fee?” Beth asked. “Five hundred Hegemony credits.” Beth winced.  Given current exchange rates, that was almost ten thousand dollars. “How quickly would we know?” Beth asked. Owen turned and woke up his computer.  She watched as he pulled up a page and scrolled through before clicking on a link. “There’s only one family looking right now.  Applications are due by the end of next week.  You’d know in a month, tops.” Beth thought about it for a moment.  It was a longshot, and she wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea, but it was better than an indenture, so she reached for her credit card. *** Sam looked up from her homework at the sound of a light knock on her bedroom door.  The door was wide open, and her mother was standing there looking at her.  Sam couldn’t quite place the expression on her face but given the appointment she had earlier, Sam didn’t have any doubt about what it meant. “No luck, huh?” she asked, trying not to let the relief she felt creep into her voice.  She knew an off-world education would open a lot of doors for her and give her opportunities that she wouldn’t have otherwise, and she really did want to go off-world, travel in space and see other planets someday, but the idea of living on another planet for four or more years was both frightening and overwhelming. “Not much,” her mom said.  “He did have one program you could apply for that doesn’t include an indenture period.  I emailed you the link to the application.  I need you to fill it out today, because I made an appointment for tomorrow for you to go for the physical and psych scan that’s required.” “Tomorrow?  Mom, tomorrow’s Jenny’s birthday party.” “I know, sweetie, and I’m sorry.  I know you were looking forward to the party, but you might have to miss it.  I’ve already got us portal tokens, and tomorrow is the only day we can go before the deadline without you missing school.  I made the appointment for as early as I could, so you should get home in time to go.” Sam wanted to argue, but she already knew it was useless.  She hadn’t missed a day of school since halfway through the eighth grade, and she knew her mom wasn’t going to let her start less than a month before graduation.  She also knew her mom wasn’t going to let her pass up a chance at an off-world scholarship just to go to a birthday party.  Even if the birthday girl was her best friend who she’d been crushing on since Kindergarten.  Of course, her mom didn’t exactly know that last part because she hadn’t told her she liked girls.  She’d considered telling her a few times, but she’d always changed her mind at the last minute, because if her mom knew she liked girls, she might decide that Jenny was a distraction that Sam didn’t need in her life and that wasn’t a battle she wanted to fight. “Fine,” she said, reaching for her laptop.  “I’ll do the application now.” “Thank you.  And Sam, I love you.” “I love you too, mom,” she said. Her mom left and Sam opened up the email link, which took her to a form that asked her for an invite code.  She checked the email and sure enough, there was a code for her.  She copied it and pasted it into the form, and when she did, it took her to the next page, and a lot of the information was prepopulated, including her latest ID card photo, name and age, along with her school transcripts and medical records.  The stuff that was left for her to fill out read more like a dating profile than a college application. The first section was hobbies and interests and activities.  She thought about it for a minute and decided to just be honest instead of going through all the BS she usually did for the college apps.  She put down soccer, swimming, surfing, electronics, robotics, reading, martial arts, camping and motocross.  She attached pictures of herself in her soccer uniform, along with a couple of video clips from some of the team’s games, then she added a few videos of her swim meets, and a couple of pictures and some videos of her surfing.  She pulled up her YouTube folder and attached a few build videos for some of her robotics projects, along with the parts lists, schematics, models for the 3D printed parts, and the source code for the micro-controllers she’d written.  She added a picture of her holding two trophies from a local Karate tournament where she’d placed second in sparring, and third in bo staff, and added a few videos of her matches.  She also added a few pictures from her camping trips and a picture of her sitting on a dirt bike, along with a video Jenny had taken of her running one of the beginner courses, then pulled up her ebook library and dumped the list of all her books, listed her favorite movies and attached all her playlists from her music library. The next section was a little weird.  It asked about what sort of foods she liked, so she gave a list.  Then is asked whether she enjoyed various activities.  Most of them were fairly common things.  Theater, music, art.  A couple she had to check the cultural database link.  She was surprised and excited when she found out that whoever was sponsoring this program apparently considered dragon racing important enough to put on the questionnaire. All in all, she spent about two hours filling out the application, and once she was done, she hit submit, and then pulled out her cell phone and opened up her text messages with Jenny. Sam:  ‘Bad news.  I might miss your party.’ Jenny:  ‘What?!!!’ Sam:  ‘Mom’s dragging me to New York in the morning for a physical and a psych scan for a scholarship.’ Jenny:  ‘She’s still on that off-world college kick?’ Sam:  ‘Yeah.’ Jenny:  ‘Girl, you don’t want to go to college with ET’s’ Sam:  ‘I’ve got to get accepted before I have to worry about it.’ Jenny:  ‘Come by my place when you’re done.  Even if you miss the party, I want to see you.’ Sam:  ‘Will do.  See you tomorrow.’ Jenny;  ‘Night.’ Sam sat down her phone and looked at her homework.  She’d wanted to finish before dinner, but there was no way that was happening now.  She grabbed it anyway and went back to work, trying to get as much done as possible before her mom called her downstairs. 

***

End Chapter 1

***

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[baroquearchitecture]

Akashi Seijuro

Akashi Seijuro is my favorite character from Kuroko No Basuke or Kuroko’s Basketball, and just in general.  He is Rakuzan High’s basketball captain, despite being a first year in high school. He was also the previous captain of Teiko Middle School’s basketball club.  

In Teiko, he was part of a group called Kiseki no Sedai, or Generation of Miracles. The Generation of Miracles are an extraordinary team, with each having exceptional skills and have never lost a game together. With the leadership of Akashi, they won the basketball championship 3 years in a row. This, however, inspired a new saying at their school,” 100 battles, 100 victories.” This saying led to the mentality that Teiko couldn’t lose, which changed the team entirely. 

One of these changes happened in Akashi. He was overwhelmed by the fighting and talent in the team, that he had to change himself in order to stay ahead and not fall behind. This is one of the things I admire about him. He saw that he wasn’t getting respected enough, and that people looked down on him, so he decided to fix that. He pushed through, got even better at basketball, and became a feared captain by other teams and people in general.

 To fix it, he developed another persona. This persona is more cold, demanding, and ruthless. As an example, when playing, the other teams score little to no points in a full game. He also has heterochromia, so his left eye turned golden, while his right eye is his normal red.  With this, he developed a power of some sort. It’s called the Emperor Eye, and he can basically see in the future. He can’t predict major events or anything, but he has the ability to instantly see his opponents future moves, and uses this to win. 

This also pushes up his confidence and power, since his signature move is an ankle break using the Emperor Eye. An ankle break is manipulating the center of gravity of an opponent, making them fall to the ground. Often, they are brought to their knees in front of Akashi, and he is able to shoot easily without any blockers in the way. This is part of why his team always wins, because of his “power”.

This persona is respectable, however he is terrifying like this. Akashi lacks any empathy in this headspace, since he is focused on anything that would improve himself or his family’s company. Though the work ethic and vigor is there, there is a lack of humanity and compassion in him. However, once they lose the finals in the Winter Cup, a basketball competition, he changes again and goes back to his regular self. He had experienced defeat, and so he was able to become his old self. Now, here is why I like Akashi. Once he turned back into himself, he realized that he did something wrong, and was apologetic and decided to change. He apologized to those who were wronged by him, and became caring and compassionate, as well as more gentlemanly than ever. 

He became one of the Generation of Miracles best friends, and played with them in the team known as Vorpal Swords. Something I like the most about Akashi is that no matter his personality, his work ethic and how he presses any issue really stays with me. He sees the fact that something is wrong, and he pushed it vigorously in order to attain the solution and get what he wants. Usually, if one does that, it is selfish and rude, and people look down on the person who did that. 

However, Akashi is so commanding and holds himself in pride that they have no choice but to listen to him. The confidence and power he exerts has an enormous effect on those he directs it to, therefore he will be at the top constantly. I want to have more confidence and power like that, since I am not as respected or heard than others. He’s also my favorite character for small reasons, such as the fact that he treats people with respect, and always acknowledges others. Not only does he have the money and the looks, he also is extremely intelligent and is in college prep classes at his school. 

He has also done business work with his father, and is the sole heir to the Akashi corporation his family has built over the years. He already has a stable job waiting for him, and with his mind he would be able to be financially stable for life.  Not only that, but he has affected my music choices as well. You see, Akashi has grown up in a posh family, as well as being trained in classical instruments such as the violin and piano. 

This has led me to try and listen to the same music he would have listened to. As a result, I have started to listen to pieces composed by Beethoven and Mozart, and I have listened to waltz ballads. This is a drastic difference from my usual music taste, however it was a nice experience and that music is now with my other music. 

Akashi Seijuro is an amazing character with an emotional and inspiring character arc, and he is my favorite to this day.

[mere-mortifer]

Valentine’s Day Exchange  🎈 Masterlist

Thank you to everyone who took part in the exchange! Some works are still being updated, and others will be posted in the next few days, but I didn’t want to post this too long after Valentine’s day itself. 

❧  Ships: 

Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris

Richie Tozier/Mike Hanlon

Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris

Stanely Uris/Bill Denbrough

Bill Denbrough/Ben Hanscom

Beverly Marsh/Stanley Uris/Richie Tozier 

🎈 Ao3 collection 🎈 | Links and summaries after the cut! 

Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

❧  by @illwriteyouatragedy

1. cherry cordial | E | 1/1 He’s staring down hard at his phone, scrolling aimlessly through Facebook without reading anything, when someone bumps into him. Whoever it is grabs the pole, their hands brushing against each other’s. Right in his ear, the guy says, “Fucking shit, you’re hot.” Eddie’s head jerks up, startled, and he meets the bright blue eyes of a man at least eight inches taller than him. The guy’s got a pink knit cap tugged down over his head and a spill of curls falling down from it, his glasses fogging up in the warmth of the train car. “What?” Eddie demands.

2. dark chocolate strawberries | T | 1/1 The way Eddie's looking at Stan— Richie’s been on the receiving end of enough of Eddie’s playfully-mad looks to know this isn’t one of them. His heart starts pounding again. He has to be overthinking things. There’s no fucking way he’s not. After all this time, how could he not be, since— Well. Then again, what the fuck does he have to lose? Maybe it’s the boxed wine talking, or the fact that his ability to keep in his own secret is hanging on by a fucking thread, or the way Eddie truly seems pissed that other people are kissing Richie like this, but— Regardless. Regardless, Richie wants to keep testing this theory.

❧ We reconnected by @kaspbrak-tozier-reddie | T | 1/1 Eddie had unexpectedly arranged a date for valentine's day with a guy who he had met online just to get over his nemesis, Richie. Richie owns a tattoo parlour right by Eddie's innocent flower shop but with Richie's loud music, Eddie is at a constant battle to keep his customers in the shop rather them leaving.

No matter how obnoxious and frustrating Richie is, Eddie can't help but wonder if the boy he knew before high school is still in there. Especially when he loses a fight with his store gate and Richie patches him up. If only Eddie could love his online friend as much as he loves Richie.

❧ You Don’t Even Like Boys by @tinyangryeddie | E | 1/1 The sign for the event looks significantly different than the invitation. “A Valentine’s dance?” Eddie squeaks at him, grinding his rolly suitcase to a halt. Sure enough, a loopy red cursive “after-auction Valentine’s Day dance” accompanies the ridiculous imagery. Richie wants to laugh - or maybe cry - it’s hard to tell the difference with Eddie staring at him like he personally assigned the theme and bought the tacky heart-shaped balloons to pile into the lobby. “I didn’t… know,” is all Richie can come up with.

❧ One for the money, two for the show by @mere-mortifer-writing | E | 1/3 Richie's not sure if he's about to get punched or something more pleasant, and as he's placing a bet with himself on which option is more likely, the stranger surges up to close the distance between them, and suddenly they're kissing. Or: Richie is a famous actor, and Eddie a college student who has never hear of him before. When they get papped arguing in public about a bad parking job, the media spins to story to make Richie seem like an homophobic asshole-nevermind that Eddie and him were already making out minutes after the photos were taken. There's one obvious way to clear Richie's name: pretend that Eddie and him had been dating all along.

❧ Sweet Like Sugar Venom by @sippingonsouthernrains | M | 1/1 Being Eddie’s sugar baby was nice. Being Richie’s was fun. Being both? Fucking exhausting. Or, the thrilling tale of one Stanley Uris acting as the human-embodiment of an eye roll as Richie and Eddie claim to compete for his affections. Of course, Stan recognizes that they’re only competing for each other’s affections, and it takes about two minutes for him to get completely tired of being in the middle of it.

❧ It’s not gay if you’re practicing to kiss girls! by @space-is-out-there | G | 1/1 Richie gets the losers invited to one of the biggest parties of the year! They’re prepared for booze, music, and lots of spin the bottle. The only issue? Eddie and Richie have never kissed anyone before and wouldn’t know where to start! Haha... unless 😳

❧ little pieces of nothing that fall by @spunknbite | E | 1/1 Eddie shook his head, lips quirking upwards in a confused half-smile that Richie was immediately drawn to. “You seem stupid familiar,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t think we know each other,” Richie replied, then added, like the moron he was, “I’d remember you.” This guy wasn’t the sort you forgot. Or, the one where it's 1998 and Richie sits down at the bar next to an asshole with a Palm Pilot.

❧ He loves me, he loves me not by Sirius_1910 | T | 1/1 With Valentine's Day coming and the Losers getting together to celebrate at the clubhouse, two boys try speaking feelings, but forget how messy they are on a daily basis. 

❧ Red washcloths and Bloody knuckles. by @toziersspaghettihead | T | 3/3 This shit should’ve been easy, y’know? You pretend to date your best friend so everyone else thinks you have found your soulmate. Richie had been praying for years that he would find the person made specifically for him. However at seventeen and he had yet to have his soulmark- It was concerning, He was starting to think that.. Maybe, Well maybe he was just one of the unlucky few that never found their other half. So the plan came along easily, One day- He was sprawled out on his bed, His best friend. It was late August and he was fucking melting in the heat, Eddie had his legs on top of Richie’s just laid out trying to cool off, With a Comic held above his face. Richie wasn’t as easily distracted that day, He was lost in thought, His music blaring- He prefered loud obnoxious songs any day compared to silence. Yet, His thoughts were running rampant. “Eds, Do you think I’ll ever find my soulmate?” The question had Eddie seizing. “Yeah, Obviously..Everyone has them.” He dropped his comic down onto the bed and sat himself up.

❧ simple words by @birightsrichie | T | 1/1 Eddie had spent his entire life dreading meeting his soulmate. Mainly because the first thing said soulmate was going to say to him was, "Do you come here often?" and Eddie did not want to spend his life with the type of person that would say something like that. He figured they would be extremely annoying and cheesy and probably a bit of an asshole, too. 

❧ Bolt by Satanders | T | 1/1 It's their first Valentine's day together and Eddie wants to surprise Richie, but Richie is not easily romanceable... 

❧ Fake It ‘Till You Make It by Jojosugay | G | 1/1 Richie takes Eddie to his managers valentine's day party pretending to be married.

❧  Welcome to the losers club by jack05writes | T | 1/1  Since bill had quit as the bassist of the losers club, he desperately needed replacing... Enter eddie kaspbrak.

❧  the townhouse by uhohcanteen | E | 1/1 richie snaps out of it faster than pennywise had anticipated. now, as richie rolls them both out of the way and start running away, they have got a lot ahead of them, including a night to remember. 

❧  Just Another Coffee Shop AU by @stardust-writer | T | 1/1 “You’re just jealous,” his friend Beverly would say. “You wish your lonely ass had someone to make out with today, but you’re stuck with me, a strictly platonic best friend.” “Correction, I was stuck with you,” Eddie says, holding up a finger. “Now that you’re dating Ben, I am, as you put it, a lonely ass.” Beverly laughs and then pulls him along, trying to appease her friend. And it’s not like she was wrong, Eddie just didn’t like to admit she was right. Because she tended to get smug when she was right and that was almost all the time. He already had to put up with it on a daily basis, he would rather it didn’t double on this godforsaken holiday. Or: It's Valentine's Day and Eddie is single.

❧  Illegal Moves by @northwindscookie | T | 1/1 Pizza plus beer plus our two favorite gay dumbasses equals a recipe for a Reddie's Valentine's Day. 

Bill Denbrough/Ben Hanscom

❧  butterflies and storms and ooey-gooey feelings by @lo-v-ers | T | 1/1 Ben Hanscom is the human definition of sunshine weaved into a warm heart and a generous soul and everything good that a person could possibly be. They met in their English 101 class freshman year, and they just clicked, and Bill has never felt as understood as he did when Ben looked him in the eyes and smiled and nodded and spoke with wisdom that an eighteen year old shouldn’t have. (Ben looks at Bill and sees the stars, glimmering and beautiful and breathtaking. He looks when Bill isn’t looking and he smiles and feels his heart flutter with joy and something else, but Bill doesn’t know that.) (At least, he doesn’t know it yet.)

Mike Hanlon/Richie Tozier

❧  head in the clouds but my gravity's centered by @queermccoy | G | 1/1 “There’s a situation,” he tells Eddie, who is sitting at his desk surrounded by textbooks and yellow legal pads filled with drawings of complex chemical and Matchbox 20 lyrics. “What is it?” Eddie asks, dropping his pen and turning in his rickety chair. There’s an edge of panic in his tone, like he isn’t there yet but could be in no time at all. “Mike Hanlon asked me to go see a movie!” Richie practically yells, hands in the air. He’s still huffing and puffing from running through campus and up the stairs. “So?” Eddie blinks, “We see movies with Mikey all the time. How is that a situation?” “Because he asked me to go out on Valentine’s Day!” Richie says and falls on his bed dramatically.

Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris

❧ making out is hard to do by winkyjinki | T | 1/1 With Valentine's Day coming up, Stanley Uris faces his biggest challenge since defeating an evil clown: getting his first kiss. 

❧ The Truth Is That I Think I've Had Enough by @reddie4thesinbin | E | 1/1 For the first time since Stan developed feelings for his best friend, Richie was finally single on Valentine’s Day, and Stan was fully planning on taking advantage of it. He invited Richie on a camping trip, just wanting one night where he could pretend, but Richie had different plans. 

❧  Moon Secrets by @the-ben-handsome | T | 1/1 When it gets to be a certain hour of the night is when everything gets all weird; truth or dare reveals secrets shared under the moonlight. 

Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris 

❧  The Bluejay In The Corner by  @adore-affection | T | 1/? He couldn’t keep it in any longer, but he couldn’t just tell someone, it was too dangerous. When he got up to his room he pulled out a thick page of blue stationery and began to write. 

❧ Reasons Why I Want To Fuck My Student's Brother by @aleckisverygay​ | Not rated  | 4/4 When Richie and Stanley find themselves hard-pressed for money, they decide to go job hunting in order to afford their bills and keep from being thrown onto the street in the middle of January. Little does Stanley know, a tutoring job quickly turns to something more when he meets Bill Denbrough, his student’s charming brother. Shenanigans ensue, Stanley has a sexual awakening and Georgie is hell-bent on hooking his brother up with the cute tutor.

Who knew a story about rampant libidos could be so emotionally fulfilling and have, like, meaning?

Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris

❧  Happiness and Love Revolve Around You by CoolestLemon | M | 1/1 A cute little peek into Mike and Stan's relationship, especially as they try to buy their dream home. 

Beverly Marsh/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris

❧  Our Man-At-Arms by SevlinRipley | T | 1/1 Beverly is often the one to pull the trigger. 

[codylabs]

My Top 10 Ships

I’m not a very romantic sort of guy, I’m not real forgiving to departures from canon, I get easily annoyed at inconsistencies, and I don’t watch much television and movies, so in order for me to ship something, it has to be a GOOD ship. I default toward rejecting ships, so to impress ME, it must be built on logic, and evidence, it’s gotta be something I can suspend my disbelief far enough to accept. And it’s gotta have story behind it, something deep, some hefty emotional weight; if it doesn’t tickle this man’s cold reptilian heart with strong beats and excellent writing, it goes straight to the trash. I absoLUTELY will not stand for any of these weird little cute, pretty, pandering, trashy crack ships that everybody seems to be clumsily throwing characters into. Most ships are trash ships. They are not good ships.

You think your ship is good? You like your ship?

You ship it?

No you don’t.

Get out of here.

You will listen to me. I will tell you. Look at me. I’m the Captain now.

Here are the 10 good ships.

10. The Rocinante, The Expanse

A resoundingly excellent ship. Unlike most ships you see out there, this thing was actually designed with realistic space combat in mind. It’s got 6 computer-controlled gatling turrets covering every angle, it accelerates in whatever direction it’s pointing, its bridge is right in the center to put as much armor as possible between enemies and crew, overall a much better-designed vehicle than most everything you see about.

That being said, I didn’t have much connection to this ship. Its crew weren’t really interesting, the aesthetic was kinda bleak, and I basically stopped watching after the phazon showed up. And the Rocinante itself has pretty poor redundancy. Enemy bullets can literally just pass through it (as is realistic for a ship this size) so how about multiple main engines huh? Absolutely tragic oversight. And its interior looks too much like an Apple product. How are you supposed to work on it? Where are the wires and pipes??? The handholds?????

9. Ares IV M.A.V., The Martian

Almost more of a symbol than a ship. A symbol of freedom, of escape. A beautiful symbol. This is what Mark Watney spends the whole movie trying to reach, with an entire world backing him up, and an entire world trying to stop him. It’s the goal of the movie, and it just looks so beautiful when he finally reaches it and sees it sitting there in the middle of the desert, ass down, nose up; a tall, proud symbol. This ship has a special significance for me because the author of the original book really did his research on the scientific requirements and details of a Mars Ascent Vehicle, and it was actually inspired by the E.R.V. in another book, ‘A Case For Mars’, which I read when I was younger. “Makes its own methane-oxygen fuel on-site by using nuclear power to break down CO2 in the atmosphere and combining it with stored hydrogen, don’t you know.” I say as I adjust my spectacles and puff my pipe.

The M.A.V. in the movie does have a few issues, such as hallway and rooms running straight up through where the fuel tanks ought to be (instead of a lift/ladder on the exterior) and a rugged, industrial aesthetic that looks too heavy and cumbersome for a ship of its type. (And you’re seriously telling me he couldn’t have used the capsule’s RCS to literally bypass the movie’s entire climax? WHY NOT? The book never mentioned him having to drain the monopropellant!!!) But I’ll let that slide. Great movie.

8. Biggest Boy, The Greatship

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name. You know what, I think it’s actually just called the Greatship.)

So it’s a starship the size of Jupiter, empty, unmanned, perfectly mysterious, that comes gliding into the galaxy a couple million years into humanity’s future. Where did it come from? Who made it and how? Good questions. It’s powered by matter-antimatter annihilation reactions from within planet-sized internal tanks, and its engines use hydrogen and fusion exhaust as reaction mass, and its hull is made of hyperfiber, a super-strong fictional material with a 4-dimensional lattice structure, able to weather impacts by spreading them out over various dimensions where the impact occurred in a different place.

I hope that after the first few entries, you didn’t get the impression that I am somehow against futuristic, far-out, impossible technologies. Quite the opposite! I love me some hyperdrive and anti-gravity and A.I. and stuff. However! Ships must be well-designed for the technology available, and must take no creative liberties except those explicitly allowed by the difference in the setting. The laws of physics don’t disappear when the magic crystals come out, the magic crystals are merely a different tool to combat them. Engineering will always exist, should start with the tools and work outward, form follows function. Star Wars ships, for instance, are trash because they don’t mount their repulsorlift arrays consistently, they’re not aerodynamic, and their engines aren’t aligned around their center of masses.

So I like the Great Ship. Although the story is pretty far-fetched, and a lot of crazy, out-there scifi events transpire deep in the ship’s depths, the book always strictly kept its own rules in mind, and never broke those rules, no matter how outlandishly crazy things got. Thanks for comprehending something so incomprehensible, Robert Reed. You inspired me miles in my own work.

7. The Ghost, The Sea Wolf

The story may be fiction, but the Ghost was as real as ghosts can be.

Jack London did his research. No, not research, he LIVED this. The Ghost is a seal-hunting schooner much like one that he served aboard during his rollercoaster of a life, and he captured every detail of its operation, of its requirements, of its mechanics, and of the incredible toll it took on the people that lived such a life. The boat is made to feel as oppressive and claustrophobic as a prison, as if it were an extension of the monster that commanded it, directly in contrast to the expansive beauty of the sea around them. My goodness, what a beautiful book. What a moving, interesting, challenging book, with such a story! This book is one of the climaxes of fiction, and one of the inspirations for Shifting Sands, if I remember correctly. I would recommend this book to anybody. Beautiful.

6. Ferbnessa, Phineas and Ferb

Okay, so I hope we can all agree that Vanessa is nothing but bad news. But that being said, Ferb knows exactly the relationship he wants, and by golly, he goes for it. Most male characters would stutter or get nervous or lose confidence around their crush, especially if that crush is about a hundred miles out of their league or if they already had another boyfriend, but Ferb? No. Not my man Ferb. He’s slighly too much of a legend to fall for such childish pitfalls. He doesn’t posture, he doesn’t creep or flirt or try to sabotage the other men in her life, he doesn’t even speak a word, he just maintains his blank expression, cranks his own already-inhuman levels of confidence and competence up through the roof to borderline olympian levels, and continues being himself. These rare moments of Ferbly passion are some of the few open windows we get into the grandiose machinations of his mysterious mind, and he uses it to bring out the best in Vanessa as well. And in the future episode, set years down the line, wouldn’t you know it, they’re a pair.

All joking aside though, this whole ship is basically comedy. It’s a super small part of the show, it’s only in like 5 episodes, it’s a running gag, it’s hilarious. It’s great. And it fits right into the tone and the feel of the show, because P&F’s entire world really is a comedy about going for it and living your dreams. So this is just the best thing ever. It’s been about a decade since then, and I still burst out laughing at how much of a pristine picture of ideal masculinity Ferb is. Become like Ferb, boys, and you will become men.

Legendary.

Eat your heart out, Dipper.

3. Shunk, Voltron

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name)

Huge props to the voltron team for making a female alien character (even a romantic interest) with NO BOOBS. Do you have ANY idea how sick and tired I am of artists throwing a big ol’ pair of balonkadongs onto lobsters and snakes when almost everything in the real world besides folks and cows have either 0 or 8+ of them? Everything’s gotta be traditionally sexy and recognizably-feminine and GREAT now you just canonized all the porn! Disgusteg

but now look at Shay. She’s a rock person. She’s got silicon-based biology, she probably weighs 500 lbs and bleeds sand. She’s got enormous hands and weird knees and no nose and lumps everywhere, AND YET STILL the show plays all the tropes 100% straight with her being a fair young maiden and a sweet princess. And it works because Hunk is just this great guy who’s exactly as sweet and caring, and he’s not the most attractive of the Paladins either, so he probably lives his life looking past appearances. He doesn’t care that she’s an alien rock, he cares about her as a person, and she obviously worships him right back. Even though Shay is shown in season 1 and then never again until season 7, Hunk still avoids alternative romantic entanglements, citing ‘a rock I know’, and it just adds to his persona as this infinitely loyal teddy bear. I tip my hat to this, the single ship I know that’s 0% sexy and 100% wholesome.

And Hunk is the best Paladin. He’s just the greatest. I revere him. I salute him as he walks past. This man among men. Look at this guy. I don’t even care about any of the other ships in Voltron (I mean, the Castle of Lions is okay, but it’s outriggers are kinda spindly) but Hunk and Shay deserve each other.

4. Wendip, Gravity Falls

So Dipper’s 12/13, and Wendy’s 15. That’s a pretty giant age difference. Maybe you fans have fooled yourselves into thinking it’s not, but it is. She knows it. He knows it. His sister knows it. Your mom knows it. So halfway through the show, when he finally got around to confessing his feelings to her, she told him no. Sure they’re still friends, sure they like each other, and sure they have a lot of chemistry and they still have a movie night every Friday, but at the end of the day, he’s a smelly little midget who has to go back to California at the end of the Summer, and she’s a older girl with approximately zero romantic feelings for him. So the notion that it could work out is pretty obvious to everyone, and especially to him, pretty much hopeless. And he really did handle it all pretty poorly and immaturely too, he objectified her and stalked her and simped up a storm and sabotaged her boyfriend, so perhaps he deserved what he got. Perhaps it’s better this way.

And yet.

And yet Wendy never really got a happy ending in the show. And Dipper never got a conclusive romance either. So after everything, it’s easy to think about it how he thinks about it, by wondering how things could have been, if everything were just so slightly different, if she’d said yes or if they united again. She wishes she could be younger, he wishes he could be older. She’s more dominant, he’s more recessive. She has a lot of serious issues in her life, and could really seriously use a driven, heroic, intelligent friend to help her out, give her purpose, and steer her right. And Lord knows he could use somebody with street smarts and actual muscles to have his back now and again. They complement each other perfectly. They make up for each others’ weaknesses. They’re everything they ever wanted from another, and if you do the math, their children would be actual literal supersoldiers.

Or at least that’s the way a lot of people see it. There’s been immeasurable mountains of fanfiction and fanart from people who are just so sad that in a show full of happy endings and dreams coming true and old regrets being resolved and children growing up, that one ending would never be happy, one dream would never come to pass, one regret would stick with you forever, one child would never grow up. Maybe if you extrapolate out the story they’d end up together? Or maybe they’d find other, better partners? Maybe romance isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things, and this is the best ending there could have been? Perhaps, perhaps not. But in any case, there’s a lot of very rich storytelling potential for the untold journey before them, and for the paths that could have been.

Stop drawing fetish art of Wendy, you insufferable heathen actual donkeys.

3. Kataang, Avatar: The Last Airbender

Now HERE’S a serious relationship. Not just a romantic ship, (though it is that,) not just some cutesy, funny thing or some ship-war fodder, (though it is cute and funny and did spawn a ship-war,) not just a matter of certainty and destiny, (though it is certain and was destined,) this is a real, TANGIBLE relationship, that these characters built together over a solid year of on-screen adventuring and fighting. They’ve helped each other through trauma, they’ve been there for each other in their darkest moments, they learned martial-arts together, they’ve fought back-to back against grown men, they’ve worked front-to-front sawing through steel girders, they’ve saved each other’s lives, he once ACTUALLY DIED and she brought him BACK. They end up respecting each other, and valuing each other in the intimate way that only true friends do.

And they’re shown working through all their imperfections and mistakes too. Aang sometimes oversteps boundaries and says stupid stuff because he’s a kid, and Katara sometimes scolds him and controls him because she’s motherly and orderly, they get jealous of each other, but none of those things drive them apart, and they deal with them, and they conquer them, and they keep a very legitimate and multi-faceted friendship going, and that’s the key to it all. The fact that this friendship becomes romance is just proof that it was a friendship of quality.

I think people tend to overlook or forget this ship because the last few episodes of the show found them in a pretty dark place, needing to deal with matters of life and death and justice in very different ways, and unlike all their other issues, we don’t really get to see them reconciling these differences before the story ends, which kind of leaves a sour taste between them. And Katara goes on a couple missions with Zuko around the same time, so now half of all people want Zutara, when in actuality, Zutara is a trash ship, which is a true science fact.

2. Serenity, Firefly

Only reason this ship isn’t #1 is because it isn’t constructed using a proper aerospace philosophy; it’s made of bulky machinery and steel beams and chunky plates, it looks more like an ocean vessel from the inside, and is WAY too big for its 6-12 person crew and light cargo capacity. Plus it doesn’t have any room for fuel and its got no wheels on its landing legs and no downward-facing windows and its reactor is just too dang SMOL and its engines are attached too flimsily. This all wouldn’t be too much of an issue if they were going for a far-future aesthetic, but if you’re trying to do something grounded and semi-contemporary, you need to lose some weight girl, I’m sorry.

But by gosh does it make up for it in heart. The entire inside of this ship was mapped out and made on set, with so many homely little decorations and touches to make every room feel like the person who inhabits it, sterile professional blue for the doc’s medbay, warm happy red for Kaylee’s engine room, all-serious-business-but-also-plastic-dinos for Wash’s cockpit... It hit me hard when this baby it crashed in the movie, and it felt almost real when River pretended to mind-meld with it. This ship has more soul in one buffer panel than most shows have in the entire cast, enough to make it seem like its own character, even in a show crowded with charming characters. I love this ship intimately, even if I would have built it differently.

1. Colonial Vessel 46.18′\, Gravity Falls

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name)

You didn’t think I’d leave out this one, did you? After all the fanfiction I’ve written? This is basically my ship at this point. Anyway, enough about me; the vessel beneath Crash Site Omega really is the quintessential alien ship; its perfectly cliche flying-saucer design taps into all the audience’s pre-existing fanciful notions and imaginings and disbelief-suspension, meanwhile its presentation isn’t cliche or fanciful in the slightest. 

There’s not much to say about it from a technical standpoint, besides personal musings: it would need anti-gravity to stay airborne without thrusters, it would need a FTL drive to cross the distances it did, its drones would need to be made of some kind of semi-liquid to move like they do... But these sort of out-of-the-box, never-before-seen, world-expanding brain-knocks are exactly what makes this ship special. It’s an alien ship, built with technology unknown to people, forged from materials that people don’t possess, and inhabited by beings we will never meet. For all we know, this ship could be perfectly sound from an engineering standpoint, and no engineer in the audience could claim to prove it otherwise, because unlike something like the T.A.R.D.I.S., they never try and fail to explain it away with science buzzwords or canonize its details or show off some fancy glowy reactor. This ancient husk is left as a yawning pit in reason, and that’s beautiful.

Moreover, this ship is an amazingly powerful narrative tool, and a mind-blowing surprise to drop in as a setpiece during the show’s final episodes. This ship embodies everything that made the show’s mysteries special: the evidence presented so early and so consistently, the creativity in creature design, action, and worldbuilding, the yawning depths of unknowable lore, and most of all the burning, unquenched desire to know more... The imprint this ship made in the cliffs over the town has been hanging over the characters’ heads the entire series, and its hull was below their feet from day one, so when they finally revealed it, and explored it, it felt invigorating. Rewarding. This ship, and the glorious feelings and thoughts it represents, have inspired to no end, and haven’t ended yet.

Honorable mentions:

Westley and Buttercup, The Princess Bride

Ooooh man I tell you what, it was really hard trimming this down to 10 for the list, and this one just barely didn’t make the cut, and that mainly because I have a sweet spot for animation and for warrior women, and this sweetness ain’t animated, and this damsel is as distressed as they get. And they don’t have a whole lot of chemistry? I don’t know how to measure that, but I feel like there was a lot of friendship stated that was never shown? Is it sacrilege to say that about True Love? I guess I’ve never exactly had True Love, so what do I know?

The entire plot centers around his devotion to her, and her love for him, and the lengths they go to for one another. He studies fencing and wrestling and wits and tactics for years on a pirate ship as he tried to return to her, and she refused the advances and the offers of an actual prince for as long as she could, even though she thought him dead, and was ready to kill herself when she knew him to be alive and not to be hers. And just such excellent action and characters and humor and story in the entire book surrounding it. Possibly an even better movie, somehow. Happy happy happy happy. They don’t make movies like this no more, why is that? Sad.

Endurance, Interstellar

Actually a pretty realistic design, all considering. They nailed the aesthetic, and the cinematography, and the feel.

It does lose points though, firstly because the shuttlecraft require a booster stage to make it into orbit when leaving Earth, but for the rest of the movie, whenever they’re landing on planets with similar gravity and atmosphere, they can just fly away like it’s no big deal, which is a big inconsistency, both with real life, and more importantly with itself. And how did an under-equipped and struggling space program put this thing in orbit in the first place, anyway? And why don’t their ships land on their asses like proper rockets? And why not tell the crew members the full plan before leaving? See, it’s little things like that, little inconsistencies made for the sake of fitting with story beats and simplifying it for the audience’s sake, that sours this ship for me. I don’t mind creative liberties, but actual plot holes? This thing has a few plot holes, and plot holes are absolutely yucky. So although most of this ship is very yummy, the yucky parts make it all yucky.

Yucky.

Plus its heavy cargo shuttles are about the least-aerodynamic things imaginable, and that’s also yucky, and there’s porcelain tiles in the stasis bay, like what?

Couldashouldawoulda been yummy.

The Hermes, The Martian

This ship. This friggin’ ship.

A beautiful ship. A well-conceived ship. A mathematically sound and engineered ship. It had so many many good ideas behind it. So much math went into calculating its thrust and orbital dynamics for this movie, so much work went into making it fit a contemporary space aesthetic, the panels, the heat sinks, the tanks, so much PRESENTATION I could KISS IT HMWA, but taken as a whole, engineering-wise, the whole ship falls flat on its face, because it just doesn’t fit together. It doesn’t make sense. Look at all those countless modules along its length. What do they do? They don’t do anything! It’s a quarter mile long, and it’s built for only 6 people? It’s meant to carry a lander? Where does the lander dock? Why are the useful airlocks so far off the center of gravity? Why does it have a cockpit? Why is the forward airlock so looooong? Why is the entire ship so loooooong? Why is the ring spinning so slowly? It’s not hard math to figure out how fast it needs to spin! You’re telling me you did ORBITAL DYNAMICS but not the SINGLE physics 101 equation needed to figure out how fast the ring needs to spin??

Btw, let’s talk about that rotating section in the middle! Think about the rotating section! That rotating section means that the front and the back of the ship aren’t actually connected! There’s just a pair of ring-shaped slip-slidey bearings bridging the ship’s middle, slip-slidey bearings that electricity, computer signals, and water and air pipes can’t cross. Why did they design it that way?? In the book the entire ship spun, which makes so much more sense! Why does it have solar panels when it has a reactor canonically capable of 40 times their output? Why are the fuel tanks so small? Why is it always facing prograde even when canonically burning retrograde? Why? WHY? BLRRRRGGGGGRGGGRGGG

In Conclusion, Ships Are Neat

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 297

A WORLD OF BALANCE

We live in a cozy and dynamic home called the Earth, which moves through cold, dark space at a great speed. Everything we need can be found on this specially made spacecraft of ours. There is neither excessive cold nor excessive heat. A moderate and pleasant climate prevails. There is an average temperature which has been kept at a dynamic balance throughout the centuries. In short, the earth has been made just for us. In order to understand this better, we need only to look at our satellite, the moon. During the day on the moon there is a burning heat which can rise up to 120 C and at night-time there is freezing cold which can fall down to -150 C. The moon is a land exposed to meteors, ultraviolet rays and cosmic rays; it is desolate and silent with no signs of life whatsoever.

In our world, the most practical solutions exist for the most complicated matters; the simplest things have important duties and splendid mechanisms are developed from these to carry out the same. Thanks to these mechanisms, there is a moderate climate and there are ideal values of air, pressure, heat and precipitation. Let us briefly consider a few of these systems that contribute to maintaining the average temperature in the world. The exact amount of solar energy we need reaches the Earth, and the distance between the sun and the earth plays an important role in this. If we think about the freezing cold on Mars, which is farther away from the sun, or the burning heat - a heat which melts even lead - of Venus, which is nearer to the Sun, we can appreciate the special status of the Earth and how carefully chosen its position is. If the solar energy that reaches the Earth were to decrease by only 10%, the average temperature of the Earth would decrease, and subsequently our planet would be iced over with an ice layer measuring a couple of meters in depth. A slight increase of solar energy, however, would burn everything and eradicate life on Earth.

We should not ignore the fact that our planet is of such a size that it is able to keep its gases within the atmosphere in ideal amounts and proportions. Our planet could have been created as small as Mercury (1/8 the Earth's size) or as big as Jupiter (318 times bigger than Earth). A smaller planet with lower gravity would disperse gases into space and therefore would have no atmosphere. A bigger planet would keep all the gases within the atmosphere, including poisonous gases, due to its high gravity. Furthermore, the Earth would be uninhabitable due to high atmospheric pressure and density. The fact that carbon dioxide and water molecules are scattered throughout the air in sufficient amounts means that they absorb heat from the sunlight during the daytime, thanks to their highly absorbent potential. At night, when there is no sunlight at all, the air keeps the previously absorbed heat in, just like a greenhouse, preventing it from being released into cold space. During the day, the atmosphere serves as a curtain protecting the world from the harmful effects of the rays of the sun; at night, it serves as a blanket preserving the heat. Devoid of such a protective shield, the moon is scorched by the rays of the sun during the day and it freezes at night.

Do we owe the small difference in temperature between day and night only to the gases in the atmosphere, which function like a thermos flask? Of course not! We can observe that the time span (24 hours) in which our world completes its rotation is so perfectly adjusted that the difference in heat is kept at a minimum. If the nights were longer, the Earth would get too cold; if the days were longer, it would become too hot. Mercury, rotating very slowly, is a good example, the heat difference between day and night can reach up to 1,000 degrees.

Seas constitute one of the systems which help to adjust the climate. At first, we may find it strange that seas cover a far greater area than land. We have named the planet that plays host to us "the Earth". The word "earth" also means soil. However, most of the Earth's surface (70%) is covered by water, not soil. Thanks to this reality, neither polar cold, nor boiling tropical heat prevails on our planet. The land, which is heated by the rays of the sun during the day, radiates the heat it has absorbed, just like a radiator. As for the sea, which is a huge mass of water, it only warms up a few degrees, despite the millions of solar calories it takes in. Nevertheless, once it warms up, it does not grow cold easily. The oceans, which cover a larger area than land, supply water to the land through evaporation, as well as serving as a thermostat that regulates the climate and prevents it from becoming too hot or cold. If the oceans were to occupy a smaller area, there would be less evaporation and less precipitation; the land would turn to desert.

The air that is heated by the sun rises to be replaced by cold air. In this way, low pressure centers appear where there is hot weather and high pressure centers appear where there is cold weather.

The tilting axis of the Earth plays a significant role in keeping the average heat within tolerable limits. On the other hand, the way the mountain ranges are arranged and the 100 difference in temperature between the equatorial and polar regions lead to the creation of winds. If such a heat difference were to appear on a planet that had an even surface, nothing would stand in the way of the storms, and they would reach a speed up to 600mph. The Earth however, is provided with natural barriers that block powerful air currents. These barriers begin at the Himalayas and continue as mountain ranges through the Taurus Mountains and the Alps, ending with the Atlantic Ocean in the west and the Pacific in the east. Another mechanism that helps regulate the heat in the atmosphere is that of the ocean streams. Overheating generated in the equatorial region is transferred to the north and south by the ocean streams, balancing the heat in different parts of the world.

This is not the only way in which the Exalted Creator Who has absolute control over the systems balancing the heat in the atmosphere manifests His Power. He assigned the clouds a similar job. Hot weather causes evaporation, which leads to formation of clouds. Clouds prevent some of the sunlight from reaching the Earth, reflecting it like a mirror.

THE PROPORTION OF GASES

The atmosphere consists of approximately 77% nitrogen, 21% oxygen, and 1% argon and other gases. The majority of living organisms, including human beings have been created with a metabolism that needs oxygen. When carbon compounds react with oxygen, the outcome is energy, with by-products being water and carbon dioxide. When such a reaction takes place in our body, the energy obtained is transferred to the energy packs (tiny accumulators) called ATP, which we use in our cells. Since all metabolic activities require ATP energy, we constantly need oxygen and this need is met through respiration.

Given that oxygen is a vital substance for us, we might think that it would be better for us if there were more oxygen in the atmosphere. Fortunately, our Lord did not create the universe in accordance with such simple logic. It is estimated that every oxygen increase of 1% over a level of 21% will also increase the possibility of forest fires by 70%, owing to the high inflammability of oxygen. An oxygen rate over 25% would cause the majority of our greenery to be burned to ashes. All the tropical forests and arctic tundra would be destroyed and it would be impossible to prevent great fires. This all goes to demonstrate that the present oxygen rate in the atmosphere is at equilibrium.

In spite of constant consumption, the rate of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is maintained thanks to a wonderful transformative mechanism which runs smoothly without failure (that is if we do not damage it). While animals consume oxygen, they continually release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere; carbon dioxide is a poisonous gas for animal life. Plants however, perform just the opposite activity, transforming carbon dioxide into oxygen, and producing nutrients as well, the most common being sugar. In this way, billions of tons of oxygen are produced and released into the air everyday.

What if plants, like animals, were to carry out the same reaction, consuming oxygen and releasing carbon dioxide? In a short time, our planet would turn into an uninhabitable place. We would use up the oxygen in the atmosphere in a short time and all life forms would be eradicated. And how about a world where both animals and plants produce oxygen? The atmosphere would have such a flammable quality that even the tiniest spark would cause great fires.

Like the other gases in the atmosphere, oxygen is kept at an ideal rate, its benefit and harm being precisely balanced. This is nothing more than the result of a perfect adjustment made by 'Him'. There can be no coincidence in such splendidly created systems and nor can these things happen on their own.

A BREATH OF AIR

The fact that the density of the atmosphere is ideal for respiration also indicates the impossibility of 'coincidence' in this delicate arrangement. No matter whether we feel it or not, we continue breathing every moment of our life.

We constantly inhale and exhale the air. The reason why we need to breathe so much is that there are billions of biochemical reactions taking place in our body all the time which can only be realized with oxygen. Oxygen is even helping you to read this article, for the millions of cells in your retina need to be supplied with oxygen. If the oxygen rate in your blood decreases, your vision blurs. All the cells that make up the muscles in our body have energy generating centers which function by burning carbon; in other words, they react with oxygen.

When we inhale, nearly 300 million tiny spherical bags (alveols) are filled with high-pressure oxygen. The oxygen in the capillaries that cover the cell walls is reduced and then is at a low pressure. This allows the oxygen in the air to be absorbed by the capillaries and to be carried away by the hemoglobin found in the red blood cells - the magnificent servants of our body. Then it begins to serve our entire body, starting with the heart.

The red blood cells which travel to the lungs from different parts of the body carry oxygen from the lungs to the energy centers of the cells and they carry the waste material - carbon dioxide - back again to the lungs. In this process, clean air (with oxygen) is inhaled and is exhaled with carbon dioxide. Obviously, both inhalation and exhalation are vital functions for which we should be thankful. The words we utter can be considered the fruit of the carbon dioxide we exhale. On the other hand, this waste gas is recycled into oxygen and sugar by plants.

The fact that 300 million tiny bags in our lungs have been constructed to fit into a limited area clearly indicates God's infinite knowledge and the fact that He is Omniscient. If these were to be spread out over the ground, they would cover an area as big as a tennis court. They should, logically, require a gigantic organ to carry them; think about how we would carry this organ around with us...

In spite of being so tiny, the alveols and alveolar tubes in our lungs are large enough to let air move freely, which is another sign reflecting His wisdom.

The atmospheric pressure at sea level is 1 atm. This means that 1 kilogram of pressure is applied over a square centimeter, an area that is only as large as the tip of one's finger. At sea level, 1 liter of air weighs 1 gram. As it is seen, the air has an immense pressure, in spite of its lightness.

The fluidity of air is fifty times greater than that of water. As a matter of fact, these values are very accurate and the fact that they are so is critical for our life. If the density of the atmosphere were to be slightly increased, breathing would become as difficult as sucking honey through a straw. Do not even think of saying "make the straw wider", i.e, making the alveolar tubes in our lungs wider. In such a case, the area contacting the air would be diminished and the lungs would be unable to receive a sufficient amount of oxygen to meet the needs of our body. The resistance of the air would be too great and it would be impossible to design a respiratory system capable of supplying the oxygen we need.

Several conditions that make life possible are only realized at certain values, and the atmosphere possesses precisely all of these values. All these only go to show how delicate His adjustments are.

What if the atmospheric pressure was lower, for instance, just 20% lower than it is at present? Given that the conditions of evaporation and boiling depend on the air pressure, more water would evaporate from the oceans and eventually the high humidity of the atmosphere would create a greenhouse effect on the Earth. In other words, there would be excessive heat in the world. And if the atmospheric pressure was twice as great, the humidity would be so low that there would be terrible drought, turning almost all of the land into desert.

Several conditions that make life possible are only realized at certain values, and the atmosphere possesses precisely all of them.

WHO ARE ALL THESE THINGS BALANCED FOR?

The air that is in front of our nose, ready to be of use to us, the ground under our feet, the night and day that follow one another in succession... the sun, the honey bee covering miles for us... When we contemplate all these, we realize that all their activities are directed to serve us.

The beings in this universe do not serve us from their own free will. It is crystal clear that all things point to a Creator Who takes care of us.

Our Creator has bestowed us with ears, providing the world of sounds for us. He has created a brain in our skull, a heart in our chest and a tongue in our mouth; these serve as devices by which we sense and appreciate His blessings that overflow from His treasures of Mercy. He has presented various fragrances, tastes and colors for our senses; He has created numerous species in order to help such devices fulfill their true duty. Only the atmosphere and what it covers will suffice as signs that indicate the ultimate truth. Study the following Qur'anic verse, that reminds us of the divine grace: "And He subjected to you what is in the heavens and the earth all together, (as a grace) from Him." The rest of the verse counsels us to reflect: "There are in that signs for a people who reflect." (45:13)

[springsfordays]

Okay so this is entirely self indulgent and incredibly silly but I keep thinking about it so imma type it out lol!

PNF x BNHA AU

Where UA is the best hero academy in the tri state area and is actually a middle to high school academy.

O.W.C.A.

OWCA is one of the many hero agencies in Danville and is specifically made for heros who have animal based quirks.

Major Monogram

Quirk: not sure probably something with acrobatics.

while technically a retired hero in action he still runs his hero agency with an iron fist. (Eh or so he claims in reality he can hardly control most of his agents.)

Carl Karl

Quirk: Squirrel (anything a squirrel can do he can do)

While he is a 3rd year UA support course student he also interns at OWCA for first hand hero and support experience. Though the agency actually has him spend a lot of time there rather than school. It didn’t cause him too much trouble though cause of a couple new students he’s been mentoring at school.

Perry the platypus

Quirk: sentients

I was thinking about how could Perry be a animal based hero while still being involved with the Flynn-Fletchers somehow but I think I like the idea of him being a Principal Nezu of sorts. Where he’s an actual platypus but was experimented by humans and given the quirk of sentients but he’s also their pet still.

Pre-Support Course

(Just wanted to point out that all the kids in this au are 13-14 years old instead of like 10)

In this course middle school students have the chance to get a head start for their support studies. Not many apply for this class but there are a few. These students specifically help the pre-hero course students the most. And are mentored by Carl.

Most notably students are the very talented Flynn-Fletcher brother duo.

Phineas Flynn

Quirk: Work hands (he can turn his fingers into small work tools such as a blow torch, screwdriver, magnifying glass, essentially his hands are Swiss army tools. However he cannot do this for significant amount of time so he uses regular tools more often)

Phineas has always wanted to be hero since he was very young. But as time went on and he became slightly more realistic he realized he couldn’t be the hero he wanted to be. But he was fantastic at building and has been doing it since he was little. He then realized his talent and love for building gadgets didn’t have to be a hobby or a completely different career. He could support heros and make their quirks more powerful with his inventions.

Ferb Fletcher

Quirkless

A very quiet nearly mute young boy Ferb is but also an extremely intelligent one at that, with a knack for building. When he was younger he had been waiting and waiting and counting the days until his quirk would appear. But his ripe ages of 5-7 when most kids got their quirks quickly passed and upon examination was told he was quirkless. He was down for a while since he couldn’t be a hero but quickly followed his brother’s philosophy and decided that ensuring the safety and strength of heros so they can save more lives was good enough for him.

The brother duo are also still best friends with Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet since they’re all neighbors. The five grew up together and experienced one by one how they all got their quirks. Isa, Buf, and Jeet have amazing quirks which only made the anticipation and eventual disappointment of Ferb being quirkless that much heartbreaking. But never did any judgement hold up and the three used their quirks to defend their friends from constant bullying. And in return the duo were always coming up with new ways to help them advance their quirks.

Also Irving is in general studies and is still an obsessive fanboy. He keeps journals similar to how deku writes and analyzes heros and such. His quirk is camera eyes. (Which explains all his weird photos) He likes to hang around Phineas and Ferb since he really admired their inventions for the cool hero students.

Pre-Hero Course

In this UA the middle school side has a pre-hero corse where students can get a head start for their high school’s hero course but only accepts the strongest of students.

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro

Quirk: Firey Explosion ((Okay so this is basically bakugou’s quirk but a bit different sorry but his quirk matches Isabella’s firey determination plus her having a quirk that you wouldn’t expect for a little cute girl to have is funny to me,,,) a combination quirk since her mother had acidic fluids that concentrated enough can make small flames or tiny combustions and her father could sweat glycerin the two combined making Isabella create giant explosions from anywhere in her body. Since all her fluids, sweat, blood, spit, tears, etc have the acidic glycerin she can also create flames that come out of her body when she over uses her explosions that she usually has come out of the palms for her hands. (She can also breath fire because of this which makes a pretty cool surprise attack))

Isabella is one of the best and most powerful students in her class. She has always had a protective nature to her and is a strategic genius when it comes to battle. When her quirk had first developed she had used it to defend Phineas (she still has a huge crush on him lol) and Ferb, her best friends that were constantly made fun of for being ‘useless’. One day Phineas told her that she was his hero and from there she’s worked hard to one day become a hero.

Baljeet Tjinder

Quirk: Giganta Growth (He could grow into any size he desires even taller than most buildings and mountains. However he cannot retain size for very long and becomes extremely nauseous.)

Another top student in his class similar to Isabella. Most people cannot actually figure out his quirk sometimes and are extremely surprised when this turns out to be his actual quirk. Appearance wise he has longated fingers, ears, and feet. He has blue skin and monkey tail and even has fully red eyes. His blue skin, which is from his family’s genetics, is actually mostly gravity resistant so when he is normal sized he can fly. Not only that but he is remarkably intelligent. In fact when he was little he had zero interest in becoming a hero, he rather had been a scientist of sorts. But it was when two of his best friends couldn’t realistically become heros he felt selfish that he was given such a great power and he was choosing not to save lives with it, with that he decided to become a hero.

Buford van Stomm

Quirk: Wind Gust (From his lungs to his breath he can control the air around him to create powerful gusts of wind and manipulate air waves. But he must be careful with this because he endangers himself of collapsing or bursting his lungs.)

Buford just like Isa and Jeet is one of the top performing students in his class. This is because he can control his quirk pretty well and is great to have in battle. However he is still a bully by nature and most say he suits being a villain more than a hero. He considers this a compliment since this means most villains will fear him. His motivations of becoming a hero are entirely selfish. Wanting to be a star and make tons of money. He wants to blow away all the villains and become center of attention. (Also as a gross joke he’ll collect a bunch of wind and blow it out by burping which disgusts everyone)

Other students and advisors call these three the “Mini Three” modeled after the “Big three” who are in the hero course and are the top students in their class. But there are about seven others in the pre hero course so I’m just gonna name them off with short quirk descriptions.

Ginger Hirano Quirk: Wing growth (for this one just look to Stacy’s cause it’s pretty much the same since it is a hereditary quirk)

Adyson Sweetwater Quirk: Werewolf (Can change into a large wolf man at will)

Katie Quirk: Electricity (Essentially Denki’s I just like this quirk)

Holly Quirk: Hallo glow (She can exude out hallo like rings from her arms and legs stunning villains when they are hit by them)

Milly Quirk: Spikes (She can create large spikes from any point in her body and can even control them to create some forms)

Gretchen Quirk: Erasure (Like Erasurehead’s but she can erase multiple quirks at once but she has to use special glasses since it strains her eyes)

Django Brown Quirk: Vine Hands (He can shoot out vines from his hands)

Hero Course

I don’t have to many ideas for the hero course students but whatevs here’s the “Big Three” of the hero course!

Candace Flynn

Quirk: Sonic Voice (it’s Present Mic’s SORRY BUT COME ON IT SUITS HER SO WELL. But yeah she can make her voice create sonic booms in whichever direction she wants.)

A 3rd year student in UA. Ever since she was young she has always wanted to protect those around her especially her little brothers. She was almost slightly relieved when she learned neither of them could really become heros. But she always had a nervous breakdown whenever they’d build ridiculous gadgets that could potentially harm them. She became a hero mostly for fame and glory too but her natural protective skills puts her as one of the school’s best students since she can use her quirk so well. She also can do parkour pretty good which only makes her a better hero.

Stacy Hirano

Quirk: Wing Growth (As said before this is a hereditary quirk amongst the Hirano family. Basically  she has multiple pairs of wings on her body (one on each side of her head, two pairs on her back, and a pair on each foot. For reference look to Ryo’s satan design from devilman crybaby) but can only grow one pair from her back to any size. With her strength and agility she can use her wing growth to hit her opponents. She can fly extremely fast but growing too much hurts her ability to move her body)

A 3rd year student in UA. All Stacy’s life she’s wanted to impress her mother. Dr. Hirano being a highly respected doctor within the hero industry has high expectations for her daughters. So Stacy opted to become a hero and is shaping up to be a fantastic one. Even if she’s a little dopey at times she���s extremely agile with her wings making her a great rescue hero.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz

Quirk: Demon Titan (She can turn into a gigantic demon looking titan, similar to Baljeet’s but her physical appearance changes entirely and she could only grow to one size. She can’t retain this for too long otherwise her muscles give out entirely)

A 3rd year student in UA. As the daughter of one of Danville’s top villains combined with her quirk and physical appearance most people think she’s a complete villain in the making. In her normal form she has blueish gray skin, a demon tail, large horns, completely white eyes and black lips. Most are afraid of her especially since she’s seemingly so cold and distant to everyone around her. But in reality she really does wish to right the wrongs of her family and help people around her. She interns at OWCA.

There’s about seven other students in their class as well but I don’t really know too much about them and their quirks but just know their classmates are Monty, Jeremy, Coltrane, Jenny, Lacie, Johnny, and Albert (he’s like the Mineta of their class).

Villains

Again haven’t put too much thought into this one but yeah.

L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. is still a villain organization in Danville and their main rival for control is OWCA.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Quirkless

We all know Doof’s incredibly sad backstory and it is still all that but with the more embarrassing tale of how he brings shame to his family by being quirkless. So he dedicates his life to learning evil science and to destroy the tri state area and heros all together. But of course he’s always thrawted by Perry the platypus. Even though he’s super disappointed in the fact his daughter wants to be a hero (who by the way looks nothing like him all her looks come from her mother) he’s still loves her the same and even supports her. He’s even attacked certain places in Danville just so she could get hero practice by defeating him. Which she’s super embrassed about.

And that’s about it for now. Just thought this would be a fun au to write about sometime lol. But yeah I love my hero and Phineas and Ferb totally is works for this super intellect society.

[basketballandtextbooks]

Bat how do you feel after watching the special

There are multiple levels to my thoughts.

On a satire level, they bungled a lot of the information. They were trying to take an “all sides are stupid stance” on an issue where people are dying daily and there are actual medical reasons for one stance to be factually incorrect so taking an “all sides” stance is... fucking tone deaf. To be fair to them, I enjoyed the amount of meta that informed their episode about knowing that their episode was doing more harm than good and using Randy as a tool for that particular satire was a smart and effective mood. That said, it was a mixed message that promoted a lot of misinformation. While the meta parts were funny, lamp-shading how poor your satire is doesn’t actually make your satire good. It just means you’re lamp-shading the issue. It was disappointing because I had hoped for better as they frequently write good satire. Stan’s character journey was the only cohesive one throughout the episode and while it was a good one, there was so much of the episode that was tone deaf to the severity of this issue. While I think it’s valid to bring levity to the issue and I was hoping they would, they missed the mark by a long-shot. That said, they usually don’t do well with medical issues. The last time they bungled their satire this badly was the vaccination episode. And they infamously bungle literally every trans-related episode. There were aspects of the episode that were poignant, well thought out, and well executed, but the majority was an under-researched in-cohesive mess. Which to some extent I think that’s what they were aiming for because they view the pandemic as an in-cohesive mess. The issue is that one of the reasons that pandemic is such a pervasive issue (especially in the states) is the mass spread of misinformation so when they spread misinformation to criticize the spread of misinformation... it’s just stupid.

However on a character level I very much enjoyed the episode. It was yet another Randy focused episode and as I’ve expressed on a few occasions I just don’t find him funny. Oh no, he jizzed on the weed, that’s sooooo surprising. Honestly Randy is a very one-note character. He does something horrifying, people are horrified, he faces no consequences, rinse, repeat. That all established, I think it’s important character information that he cheated on Sharon twice in China with no guilt whatsoever. He only wanted to hide his crime because “my wife is a bitch”. Also considering he cheated with non-human entities, I think this is strong proof of Rowelie’s viability so take that as you will Rowelie shippers. Also the fact that people grow Randy mustache’s if they ingest his cum and Sharon had a mustache at the end... I sort of hate that Randy took that as proof that she smoked his weed. Now, even if she had smoked it his behavior still is completely and disgustingly inexcusable but also... everyone in South Park is openly smoking so she could have very easily gotten second hand Randy-stache. Or just given her husband a blow job. Also it’s interesting information that within universe Randy’s cum has mutagenic properties. Again for the Rowelie shippers: you could use this as an excuse as to how Towelie turns into a human, Randy’s cum mutated him. Also I think it’s likely that microwaving his balls could be what caused his radioactive jizz. Or one of the times he was experimented on by aliens. Or both. Altogether Randy was a repulsive bastard within the episode who I find boring at best BUT the amount of meta information that he introduced will be very useful to inform my theories. (Also again, the fact that he so easily and guilelessly cheats on Sharon tells me that he that he has done it a multitude of times. My theory is that after he gave Gerald a handy in the hot-tub and was forgiven he just never stopped, basically assuming the permission to do it once was broad permission to do it forever) (oh and second note: this is the second time within canon that Randy has poisoned people’s weed so uh... that’s fucked up)

Freaked out a lot about Jimbo dying, I’m really scared they’ll kill Jimbo but also since they already killed Ned I wonder if the two of them can be happy in the afterlife together because no one can convince me that Jimbo and Ned aren’t canon. Also Randy’s blatant racism and lack of empathy for Jimbo’s illness was really yikes. I dunno guys, I’ve always had a soft spot for Jimbo. He’s a stupid stereotypical red-neck but he had a sort of charm to him and I thought he was funny. I miss when him and Ned were regulars on the show.

CARTMAN DANCING AND SINGING WAS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER ON THIS FUCKING EARTH, FIGHT ME I LOVE THIS STUPID SELFISH LITTLE CRETIN also it’s yet another episode to add to the list of “times Cartman shows he can grow into a better person” and list of “times Cartman seems to show a special soft spot for Stan”. Cartman does tend to listen more frequently when Stan asks and less frequently for literally anyone else. So the Stanman was strong in this one. Also really enjoyed the Stutters. While yes, Stan was completely using Butters as a tool to project his own feelings of unease I think it really says something that he chose Butters for that role. I think to some extent he felt that Butters might be feeling the same mortality-panic he was feeling (whether it was true or not) and that kinship he felt with Butters led him to feel that Butters was also feeling the way he did. He was panicked and he thought out of all his friends that Butters was the one who might share his feelings. I enjoy that sort of subtle connection between them and it’s been a consistent thread within the show that Butters and Stan just treat each other a little different than they do literally everyone else. It’s worth thinking about.

I think Stan was also at his limit because he was already suffering from isolation issues due to Tegridy Farms from before the pandemic. He’s always been a social boy and this brought him to the brink of what he could handle.

THEY SHOT TOKEN AND I SWEAR TO GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LOUD I WAS SCREAMING AT THE TV I THINK I PISSED OFF MY NEIGHBORS i fucking knew it was coming too. The fucking SECOND they shoved those fucking corrupt ass cops in the same room as Token.... I fucking feared for his life. They’ve killed off fairly major background characters before and killing Token would be... topical. I will make it my mission to personally destroy every fucking cop in South Park (Barbrady gets a pass... BARELY). I hate them all. I’ve hated them all for a long time but they murdered several children (including Kenny, the bastards) and they SHOT MY BOY TOKEN I WILL RIP OFF THEIR FUCKING ARMS SEE HOW WELL YOU CAN SHOOT THEN YOU TRASH BASTARDS

Nothing big Kenny happened this episode, insert sad fanboy noises

There were some strong Kyman moments. Cartman went to Kyle’s house for help at the beginning of the episode, obsessed over whether or not he’d be in the same room as Kyle, tried to vomit on Kyle, AND THEN KYLE FUCKING JUMPED HIM AND BEAT HIS ASS DOWN, FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO INCORRECTLY THINK DIFFERENT KYLE IS A FUCKING DOMINANT TOP, HE DOESN’T TAKE IT, HE GIVES IT

Adding that to my long list of “episodes where Kyle shows he isn’t a pushover, is very violent, and can easily kick Cartman’s bitch ass” because every so once in awhile I have to break out that list when someone insists upon how submissive Kyle is. Bitttttttccchhhhhh, you haven’t watched the show if you think that. My favorite kid doesn’t take your shit

Very interested in Red’s new canon last name (McArthur) but I’m also unsure about it because in the scene’s where it’s shown I couldn’t quite tell if it was actually Red or Powder. She kept being shown from odd angles and her hair looked a little shorter than normal. That said, I’m happy if it is her because I’ve been wanting a canon last name for Red for a long-ass time. Even presuming you go by the cousin’s headcanon for Craig and Red, there’s no guarantee they would have the same last name.

Let’s see, I think I had some other thoughts but those were the main points

OH PAUSE THE SCREEN WHEN THE PARENTS ARE ON ZOOM it’s really cute/funny what the usernames are. For example Annie’s mom is totally just using Annie’s account so she’s probably not very tech savvy. There’s actually a lot of minor character detail that you can infer from those screen-names.

Yeah those are my major thoughts: Randy is trash, nothing new, Cartman was ADORABLE and also lots of good meta for him (I have some hcs that one of the reasons he adored the social distancing so much isn’t because he hates human contact because we know from previous seasons that he’s a bit of a lonely boy, but he likes the social distancing explicitly because it gives him an excuse to reject other people before they can reject him), good stutters moments, good kyman moments, good stanman moments, there were some style moments if you squint? Kyle was one of the people Stan consulted about his feelings of unease but since it wasn’t just Kyle that he consulted it didn’t really feel like that was a special personal part of their relationship, moreso that he wanted Kyle to kiss his booboo and make it better. Although further proof that Kyle is the dom in that relationship. Kyle was agitated over the situation but overall rational, Stan was flipping the fuck out. Stan came to him submissive, scared, and asking for Kyle to make him feel better. Kyle remained calm and logical. I swear to god if I read one more cutesy-innocent Kyle post I might flip a table. Literally Kyle’s canonical self is RIGHT THERE

OH YEAH MY BUTTERS THOUGHTS there’s nothing really new here but it continues the trend of Butters being a self centered prick. (I love him but he is) Instead of even trying to understand the number of people dying or the gravity of the situation, he’s just upset and throwing tantrums because he doesn’t get to play at Build a Bear. And it’s made explicit in the writing that unlike Stan he isn’t struggling with the nebulous fear of death (probably brought on by his uncle getting sick). Butters is just bitter that he doesn’t get to have special things. Also Stan was the only one who tried even a little to save Butters from getting taken by the guards. No one else tried to stop or warn Butters. So again, very cute Stutters moment where Stan is overtly worried for Butters’ well-being even when he’s throwing a bratty tantrum. (I don’t know how anyone perceives Butters as an altruistic person, he’s a selfish twat. he’s a lovable selfish twat, like Cartman, but he’s still a selfish twat. and none of his shitty behavior in this episode was even remotely related to Cartman so you can’t connect it to him. Butters, on his own and without anyone else’s influence, does and acts like a shit-head). There is the excuse that he’s only ten but literally everyone in that cafeteria is only ten. But Butters is the only one kicking other people’s food because he didn’t get his special prize.

This all sounds like I hate Butters. I love Butters, warts and all, I just get really annoyed when fandom ignores his warts because his warts are PART OF THE REASON I LOVE BUTTERS. Also it’s like... blatantly and observably canon that he’s selfish.

I’m going to happily ruminate on Stan feeling a strong pang of protectiveness towards Butters though. That was quite illuminating.

[thelastspeecher]

6 - Birb Guck AU (or if that's too on the nose, feel free to pick a different AU I just am fond of wings)

6. Wings

Okay, so, the wings prompt ended up being more hinted at than explicitly being a major part of this ficlet.  But I mean, the birb Gucks have wings, and this is all about the Gucks being birbs, so…

(also this ended up being a lot longer than I planned, so I put half of it under a read more)

Prompt List

——————————————————————————————

              Stan stomped onto the porch andshook the snow off his boots.  He dug thepostcard out of his back pocket to make sure he was at the right place.

              Yep.  Looks like.  He knocked on the front door.

              “One moment!” a voice called.  Stan looked around, taking in thesnow-covered ground, the beat-up truck in the driveway, and movement at theedge of the nearby forest.  He squinted.

              What the hell is scampering aroundover there?  Squirrels?  No, too big. Raccoons, maybe?  The dooropened.  Stan stopped trying to identifythe local wildlife.  He looked at the manwho had answered the door.

              “Hello, Stanley,” Ford saidawkwardly.  Stan stuffed the postcardback in his pocket.

              “Hello to you, too.  So, what’s going on?  You just sent me a card saying I need to come,but didn’t say why.”

              “Yes, well…”  Ford trailed off.  He swallowed. “It was something that needed an in-person explanation.”

              “All right.  Can we have this conversation indoors?  I’m freezing my balls off here, Ford.”  Ford rolled his eyes at Stan’s choice ofwords, but stepped to the side, allowing Stan to come in.  Stan walked inside.  “You really went for that whole mad scientistaesthetic, didn’t you?”

              “Not for long,” Fordmumbled.  He closed the door.  “I’ll need to start childproofing my homesoon, so much of this will go into rooms that aren’t common area.”  Stan stared at him.

              “…Childproofing?” he asked.  Ford nodded. He clasped his hands behind his back.

              “How are you at babysitting?”Ford asked.  Stan opened and closed his moutha few times.  “I recall you sneaking awaya few times during high school to visit Carla while she was babysitting.”

              “Yeah, but I wasn’t actuallybabysitting, I was just there to help,” Stan said.  He shook his head.  “Back up. You’re- you’re a dad?”  Fordturned red.  “There’s no way you got somegirl pregnant.”

              “It’s- it’s complicated.”

              “Holy Moses, I-”  Stan looked away.  “That’s why you wanted me to see you?  Just so I could babysit your rugrat?  And here I was, thinking you might wanna burythe hatchet.”

              “Stanley-”

              “Y’know, you coulda just hiredsome teenage girl.  I dunno if they allhave to, but Carla said a lot of girls do special classes before they start babysitting.  I don’t really know shit about kids.  I’m just good at keeping them entertained.”

              “Fiddleford is more than willingto show you the ropes.”

              “Who the hell is-” Stan started.

              “But we need a long-term babysitter,”Ford interrupted.  “Someone we cantrust.  And…I know we’ve had ourdifferences, but you’re the only person I trust enough to watch my child,” Fordsaid quietly.  Stan rolled his eyes.

              “Bullshit.  You just want a free or cheap babysitter.”

              “Stanley, just-”  Ford ran a hand through his hair.  “Follow me, and you’ll understand what Imean.”

              “If you say so,” Stan muttered,stuffing his hands into his pockets.  Hefollowed Ford back towards the front door and then up a nearby staircase.  They arrived at an attic landing.  Stan looked around the room.  “So, what, is this the nursery or-”  He fell silent at the sight of what couldonly be described as a large nest made of pillows and blankets, tucked into acorner.  Nestled in the center of thenest, surrounded by what seemed to be a pile of brown and red feathers, was alarge egg.  Stan closed his eyes.  “Ford…”

              “I know how this looks,” Fordsaid quickly.  Stan raised an eyebrow athim.

              “Like you’ve lost yourmarbles?  Yeah.  That’s an egg.  Not a baby.”

              “When it hatches-”

              “I’m not a zookeeper, Ford!” Stansnapped.  Ford scowled.

              “Let me explain.”

              “I don’t know what bullshit weirdscience stuff you get up to here, but I’m not gonna watch whatever hatchesoutta that egg, okay?  Knowing you, youfound a way to bring dinosaurs back and that’s a fucking T. rex.”

              “Stan-”

              “I can’t believe you had me comeall the way here for this!  I was inArizona!  I came from T-shirt and shortskinda weather to a goddamn blizzard.  Fora fucking egg?” Stan demanded.  Fordrubbed his face.  Out of the corner ofhis eye, Stan saw movement.  He lookedback at the nest.  The pile of feathers nextto the nest was moving.  Stan steppedback, nearly treading on Ford’s toes.  “Whatthe hell is that?  Is that whatever laidthe egg?”  The feather-covered thing stoodup, revealing itself to be not the vicious dinosaur-like monster Stan had beenimagining.  Rather, it looked human.  If humans were covered in feathers, hadtalons for nails, and had eyes that were completely black.

              “Please do not refer to my partnerin that manner,” Ford said.  Stan stared athim.  “Stanley, this is Fiddleford.  He’s my…” Ford swallowed nervously.  “Myboyfriend.”

              “You-”  Stan looked back and forth between Ford andthe bird-person Ford had said was named Fiddleford.  “What the fuck is happening?!”

              “Fiddleford belongs to a speciesnot native to this planet.  A fact I wasunaware of until he laid the egg you see in the nest,” Ford said in amaddeningly calm voice.  Stan kneaded hisforehead.  “He can adopt a form that ishuman in appearance, though has preferred his natural form while spending timein the nest.”

              “I…”  Stan squeezed his eyes shut.  “There’s too much going on here.”

              “I suppose it would be overwhelming.”  Ford put a hand on Stan’s shoulder.  “Let’s go talk in the kitchen.  This might go down better with a beer or two.”

              “Fuck beers, I need some hardliquor to deal with this,” Stan croaked.

              “I have some of that as well.  Come along.”

—– 

              Stan stared at Ford, sittingacross from him at the kitchen table.

              “You came here to studysupernatural weird shit?” he asked. After ushering Stan back downstairs and giving him a glass of whiskey,Ford had launched into an explanation of why he was in Gravity Falls.  Ford nodded. “And you came here because it’s got the most supernatural weird shit?”

              “The most anomalies, yes,” Fordsaid, clasping his hands in front of him. “Should you agree to stay here, you will come across many of theseanomalies yourself.”  Stan rubbed hisforehead.

              “And the bird guy upstairs, Fiddlesticks-”

              “Fiddleford.”

              “Whatever.  You met him here?”

              “No.  We were college roommates.”

              “How the fuck would a college letsomeone covered in feathers go there?”

              “I told you, he has a secondaryform that resembles a human.  He utilizesthat form when going out in public. Until recently, I didn’t even realize he wasn’t from this planet.”

              “He’s a weird thing but he’s notfrom here?” Stan asked.  Ford shook hishead.

              “Anomalies tend to gravitatetoward this region, but they can be found elsewhere.”

              “Okay.”  Stan took a long drink from his whiskey.  He set it back down on the table with a smallsigh.  “Tell me about this thing with theegg.”

              “Like I said upstairs, Fiddlefordisn’t just my research partner.  He’s alsomy-”  Ford’s voice cracked.  He cleared his throat.  “Fiddleford is my- my boyfriend.  Approximately a month ago, he began behaving oddly.  He built the nest you saw upstairs and sleptwithin it instead of our bed.  About aweek after he built the nest, he brought me upstairs and showed me theegg.  He then explained to me that he hadlaid it, it was our child, and that he was not from Earth.”

              “Goddamn,” Stan muttered.  Ford cracked a small smile.

              “Precisely.”  Ford watched Stan closely.  Stan frowned at him.

              “What?”

              “I’m just- you don’t appear tohave any reaction to Fiddleford being my- my-”

              “Ford, I’ve known you were gaysince sixth grade.  Chill.”  Stan shrugged.  “It’s kinda weird that he laid the egg, Imean, I might not have been that good at biology, but I always thought gals hadthe eggs.  But he’s an alien, so-”

              “Yes,” Ford said quietly.  “Our reproductive systems aren’t that different,however.  Otherwise reproduction wouldnot have occurred.”

              “Ah.  I get it.” Stan leaned back in his chair.  “I’vemet a couple people like him.  Guys whoused to be gals.  Gals that used to beguys.”  Ford stared at him.  “People like that end up on the streets alot.  And I’ve been on the streets prettymuch since Pops kicked me out.”

              “…Right.”  At the sound of footsteps, both Stan and Fordlooked over.  In the entryway to thekitchen was a gangly man with sandy blonde hair, carrying the egg fromupstairs.  “Fiddleford, I was wonderingif you would join us.”

              “I thought it’d be right to dothat,” the man said, taking a seat at the table, resting the egg in his lap.  “I feel awful bad ‘bout startlin’ ya likethat, Stanley.”  Stan stared at him.  “Stanford told ya ‘bout my human form, right?”

              “Uh, yeah.”

              “Well, this is it.”

              “Cool,” Stan mumbled.  Fiddleford looked at Ford.

              “How’s the conversation goin’?”

              “I was just about to explain whywe were asking him to babysit for us,” Ford replied.  Fiddleford nodded and made a “carry on”gesture.  Ford cleared his throat.  “A few days ago, Fiddleford and I realizedhow much care and attention the egg and eventual child needs.  We can take some time off here and there, butfrom what Fiddleford has told me, his species raises children communally.  As such, hatchlings require around the clockcare.  Something that we will not be ableto provide.  At least, we won’t be ableto provide it if we wish to continue our research.”  Stan leaned forward.

              “You don’t just want ababysitter.  You want a nanny,” he said.

              “That would be a better way todescribe it, yes,” Fiddleford said.  Stanchewed on his lip.  “We understand if youhave a job or relationship or somethin’ else that would prevent ya from stayin’here to help, but Stanford felt that you were our best shot.”

              “…I don’t have either of thosethings,” Stan said.  He straightened inhis chair.  “I also don’t have a lottacash.  I can’t exactly move into anapartment here.”

              “No, you’d stay with us,”Fiddleford said quickly.  “We’d provideroom and board in exchange fer yer help.”

              “That sounds like a pretty sweetdeal, not gonna lie,” Stan said quietly. He grimaced.  “But, like I said,Ford, I don’t know shit about taking care of kids.”

              “Don’t worry, I’ll be helpin’ yawith that,” Fiddleford said.  “I need toteach Stanford, too.”  He shrugged.  “And even if ya did know how to take care of kids,I’d still need to give ya some lessons. Hatchlings have dif’rent requirements than human children.  Groomin’ is dif’rent, diet is dif’rent, and,of course, there’s flight lessons.  But I’dbe handlin’ that.”

              “Flight lessons?”

              “We have feathers fer a reason,”Fiddleford said in a very matter-of-fact tone. “Again, I’d handle that.”  Stanwas silent.  “Well?  Are ya willin’ to babysit?”

              “Nanny, you mean,” Stansaid.  He chewed on the inside of hischeek, thinking.

              This is weird.  But this weirdness is better than beingchased down by loan sharks and trying to sell shitty infomercial crap.  Stan sighed.

              “All right.  I’ll do it.”

[soror-o-n-s]

Why Liber Resh is so Important

As I wrote in this post, I recently started doing Liber Resh again and realized how potent and important of a ritual it really is. I said I’d write up a post on that, and here it is.

What is Liber Resh?

First of all, if you’re new to all of this, or through some circumstance don’t know what Resh is, here is the text of Liber Resh. It consists of four solar adorations meant to be performed at the four stations of the sun throughout the day. 

How do you do Liber Resh?

The actual text of the ritual is pretty short, and without some involvement with the Thelemic community, membership in the A.’.A.’., or some extra research, is not really workable. If you were a member of the A.’.A.’. you would use your grade sign at all four stations, and would learn the adoration from your superior. Most people however are not members of the A.’.A.’. for one reason or another, and a set of informal, often word of mouth, instructions have developed. So for all of us outside the fold, the signs customarily used are:

Sunrise: L.V.X signs

Noon: Sign of Fire

Sunset: Sign of Air

Midnight: Sign of Water

For the adoration, many people use Liber AL III:37 starting from, “Unity uttermost showed! . . .” I personally like to also include the previous stanza starting with, “I am the Lord of Thebes . . . “ as well.

You’ll find another dilemma if you spend enough time reading about this or hanging around other Thelemites as to whether to say “fill me” or “kill me” at the end of the third stanza. You can read Hymenaeus Beta’s case for correcting that word here. Many people will strongly prefer one or the other, and have valid reasons for their choice. I personally use “kill” here since I like the meaning it brings to the adoration, but there really isn’t a right or wrong answer. If you’re not sure which you prefer, try it both ways and see how you feel about it.

If this doesn’t do it for you, there’s also no reason why you couldn’t also write your own adorations, as Crowley put it in Liber O : “These rituals need not be slavishly imitated; on the contrary the student should do nothing the object of which he does not understand; also, if he have any capacity whatever, he will find his own crude rituals more effective than the highly polished ones of other people.” I personally would recommend trying it the more official way and to make sure that you really understand the meaning and reason for the way the original is composed before rewriting it though. Not only will that help make sure you’re getting out of it what was intended, but also that you’ll be familiar enough with it that if you ever end up practicing it in a group you won’t have to embarrassingly stumble through it.

Why do Liber Resh?

So now I’ve covered how to practice Resh, why should you practice Resh? It seems kind of silly to worship the sun in the modern age when we have things like astronomy and physics to explain what it is and how it works; and the timing is really inconvenient for someone with other things on their plate (or who like to maintain a normal sleep schedule). The reason I hadn’t done it in so long was because it just seemed like an arbitrary way to remind yourself of the Work and to work some bhakti into your day. I figured, I’m already thinking about the Work pretty regularly, the rest of my practice and study takes care of that, and I could just pray and meditate like a normal person instead of worshipping the Sun.

First off, let’s talk about the Sun. The Sun’s pretty sweet. Its gravity holds our entire solar system together. Without it all of these cool planets would go careening off into space and end up who knows where. The light and heat we get from the Sun makes all life on Earth possible. The Earth’s seasons are dependent on the Sun. The very atoms that make up your body were all birthed in stars just like the Sun. Compared to the span of a human life, or even generations of humans, the Sun is practically eternal.

Do you see where I’m going with this? The Sun is practically a God. I know it sounds silly, but the Sun gives us life, keeps us warm, fuels the food that keeps our bodies running. It controls our seasons and weather. The Sun creates the heavier elements that makes the very existence of things like the Earth possible. It was here long before the first humans appeared, and will likely be here long after the last human has died. Better yet, unlike the conventional gods we’re used to today, we can see it, feel it, and measure its relationship with our world. That’s pretty cool, and in my opinion, definitely worthy of celebrating and adoring. No wonder the ancients pretty much universally worshipped the Sun.

Now let’s talk about what the Sun represents. The Sun is the alchemical gold, the perfection of matter on every level. It corresponds to the Sephirah of Tiphareth, the sphere of the Holy Guardian Angel and the accomplishment of the great work. In this sense, the Sun represents the ultimate goal of magick. Your adorations at each of its stations are adorations to your HGA, and a reminder of the highest goal.

In practicing Resh though you’re doing more than just adoring the Sun, you’re identifying with the Sun. According to Crowley’s instructions, “Also it is better if in these adorations thou assume the God-form of Whom thou adorest, as if thou didst unite with Him in the adoration of That which is beyond Him.” You’re meant to be assuming the Godforms of each adoration. To expand on what I said in the above paragraph about adoring your HGA, your adorations are to your highest self, and when you practice Resh you’re identifying with that. One of the first verses of Liber AL is: “Every man and every woman is a star.” And this ritual is in one way a representation of that truth.

There’s also another layer that’s hinted at with the name of the ritual. Resh corresponds with the path between Hod and Yesod on the tree of life, which is associated with The Sun card in the Tarot. To quote from The Book of Thoth:

“This is one of the simplest of the cards; it represents Heru-ra-ha, the Lord of the New Aeon, in his manifestation to the race of men as the Sun spiritual, moral, and physical. He is the Lord of Light, Life, Liberty and Love. This Aeon has for its purpose the complete emancipation of the human race”

“Outside the wall are the twin children who . . . represent the next stage that is to be attained by mankind, in which complete freedom is alike the cause and the result of the new access of solar energy upon the earth. The restriction of such ideas as sin and death in their old sense has been abolished.”

Aside from just reminding yourself of the Great Work and affirming your existence as an eternal star not unlike the Sun, this ritual is also bringing you into alignment with the current of the New Aeon. It’s an affirmation of the law of do what thou Wilt, of your eternal freedom and innocence, and that the times of restriction and the dying god are at an end. Through the formation of a relationship and identification with the star in the center of our solar system, you’re cultivating your relationship with the Aeon and with the Hawk-headed mystical Lord on the throne of Ra.

Resh does so much more than what the text of the ritual might suggest. I would argue that it’s one of the most important daily practices that Crowley wrote, and it’s amazing how understated it is. This is just my understanding of the ritual as well. In practice, each person’s going to have a different experience and come to different conclusions. In my opinion, it’s likely intentionally vague, and there’s likely much more to it than what I’ve said here.