#How to implement AMP

[simplyreveries]

Hello! I would like to make a request for Riddle, Kalim, Ortho, and Malleus (gn reader, platonic or romantic. except for Ortho, platonic for him)

How would they react to finding out that the reader wasn't allowed to celebrate their birthday back home and has never had a birthday party?

riddle rosehearts

I have a feeling riddle never really had experienced a birthday party himself, unless it was someone like trey or che'nya doing some little kid attempt at giving him one during their childhood and that is until he came to nrc and got to feel that more. Yes, riddle is saddened when he hears that you've never gotten to have one yourself more so greatly upset. you’re the last person he would ever think deserves to have that happen to, he will make sure to go completely out of his way with the help of trey and other dormmates he made help to ensure that your first birthday would be positively perfect..! riddle really wouldn't accept anything less than best for you.

because of his own experiences with… unpleasant birthdays he knows what a dreadful feeling it can be so it only amps up his own feelings into making it good for you. The roses will be painted your favorite colors, he’ll make sure trey makes you the tastiest cake/pastries of your liking, decorations are of your taste he is going above and beyond here. ace and deuce even make sure to tread more lightly around him as he's invested in this… they cannot cause any trouble on your special day hjsdjklsdg

all he can think about is the smile that will be on your face once you've seen what he has done, at least he can hope so. he frets about choosing a gift for you, but he’d settle for something small but sentimental like a necklace. his tension and initial worry do seem to evaporate when he sees you having a good time, he feels a sense of relief and simply cannot keep his eyes off of you.

kalim al asim

kalim literally cannot fathom this... he is immediately planning and preparing your birthday as soon as he hears about it and yes, it's going to be his best one yet (”kalim my birthday is in two months-”) he talks to jamil all the time about his plans and how it's going to be absolutely perfect for someone as perfect as you. kalim really is observant, especially towards you— he knows what you like and will implement any of that into this celebration of yours.

I don't just mean a big loud party with a bunch of people— kalim already knows if that really isn't your thing but trust me, he will still go above and beyond even if it's just some sleepover with him and some friends of yours. we haven't even discussed the amounts of gifts you’ll be receiving. I 100% believe he’d be like giving you some gift every day in your birth month, he’ll claim they're all to make up for the birthday gifts you didn't receive growing up.

on the day of your birthday, you could look at what he’s done and be like “isn't this a bit-” “too little??” hahaha. he is so full of energy that day; he tries to get you to dance with him even if it's just him making some fool of himself to get you to laugh. because, despite all the things he does and gets you objectively kalim’s priority is to see you happy and laughing throughout the day. that will be his biggest reward.

ortho shroud

ortho knows you pretty well, he does analyze people incredibly. so, he can easily understand what exactly it'd bd you’d want for a birthday… the issue may be is how do you get a bunch of people to celebrate something in ignihyde?? he’d settle to making some surprise party for you at ramshackle and drag idia to help him out. Along with the other first years.

he would make sure to let others like grim, ace, deuce, and the ghosts that live in ramshackle know what he’s doing as he still asks for some advice from them quite often. it's cute to see how serious he takes it; he gets all stern with people like ace or grim to make absolutely sure they don't spill and reveal the little celebration they're setting up for you, it's almost a little intimidating until he switches a 180 to a cheerful and excited demeanor when the plans seem to be going his way.

the party would end up becoming some sleepover with him and the first years, a little chaotic, but really fun. on top of that, ortho is getting his own experiences with things like this with friends for the first time too and he loves it.

malleus draconia

he has had spent most of his birthdays, rather lonely. i mean, he literally doesn't like cakes for the fact that they once gave made him sick because he didn't have really anyone to split it with. not to mention, his birthdays may become quite repetitive and boring with his years of age. however, he almost seems confused when you mention that you’ve never really have had one before. malleus believed that it was normal for humans to always have one, it's what he's been the most exposed to.

malleus could not stop getting that fact of you out of his mind, he seemed to be troubled and lost in thought on how to make you feel better about it. most likely, coming to lilia for help since he’s usually the one to do birthdays, obviously. of course, malleus would be quite happy and excited even to have one celebrated for you at diasomina— silver is quick to suggest he handle cake after past experiences with lilias cooking and baking skills.

he tries to actually keep to a surprise but he’s so obvious about it as he can't help but feel excited as he awaits your reaction to it all. you could ask him one night outside of ramshackle if he's planning a party for you and he’d chuckle and be like “am i?” (disappears??). he doesn't seem to leave your side once the day comes, content and pleased with how happy you seem. you’ll catch him staring at you the whole time as you go about your day, blow out candles for the first time, open gifts (which are obviously some rare, expensive accessory from him) and experience what it’s like for the very first time.

[kylarsobsession]

i was talking with a friend about how we both really think dol could use more violence and like...the ideas we came up with...i wish i knew how to mod LOL but i REALLY think this could be implemented and work within the story

i think having the option for the PC to kill unnamed NPCs if they're close enough to a breaking point after going through so much would fit so good in the game. maybe just one or two in specific scenarios so it's not like you're a serial killer but it would add flavor to the PC.

like if you meet certain requirements during a noncon encounter with a random unnamed NPC you can get you the chance to kill them, maybe kyler gives you a knife for self defense and protection at some point, or you just find a brick on the ground or a pipe. but i feel it fits more for spur of the moment so those last two work better

and OBVIOUSLY afterwards you get like, + + + + trauma and stress

maybe different stats give a different reaction, high sadism makes it so it's less trauma and stress? if it's repeatable maybe it stops giving trauma or stress? but I feel having it repeat would get boring and lose the impact.

but I think different outcomes would work!

There's a realization with + + + + trauma and + + + stress for one outcome

a different one with the text "you finally feel safe." With just + + trauma and - stress

Maybe if you've had max/near max trauma and stress for a while you just get text that's something like "you knew something like this would happen." And that could either raise or lower trauma/stress I feel.

also! killing someone would DEFINITELY amp up the horror aspects of dol, with ivory wraith already giving you hallucinations in the library where the students that usually talk about whatever get ivory's glowing text and call you graverobber and thief, you could get them calling you murderer and that could lead into a scene where sydney asks if you're alright, because you look sick you could have nightmares of it, waking up with + stress and/or + trauma. or if you wake up screaming you could get + love + robin's confidence if they run in to check on you. or bailey running in to check on you and offering you their..own kind of comfort. which i will talk more about next! you could get scenes for some LIs/Named NPCs where they try to comfort you if you confide in them, and depending on your stats with them if they believe you and worry for you, or if they think you're just some murderer.

characters I think would work for telling you killed someone (in self defense) robin: prompted to tell them if they run in to your room after you scream due to the nightmare, i think depending on how high/low their confidence is they could be scared of you but still love you, or hold you and tell you that they'll protect you

eden: i think they would be proud of you for defending yourself, but still get mad because you could have gotten hurt or caught by someone (also theyd think it was hot. sorry.)

black wolf (wolfperson): similar to eden, i don't think they'd really get how much of a big deal it would be for you to have killed someone, but they're also proud that you're strong enough to protect yourself

kylar: they'd tell you they could have done it for you, you didn't need to dirty your hands with this, but it's ok. they'll help you. don't worry. (if kylar is stalking you when the encounter happens they could help you hide the body after, otherwise you get a + + crime, but with kylar with you no + crime happens, though you end up passing missing person posters with the person you killed and get + + stress) (also would think you were hot for it)

bailey: they're mean, rude, and sell you off if you're short money, but they do care about you, they always come running in the orphanage when you yell, if you have a nightmare they can come running in, seeing that no one is in your room they can tell you to shut up, but they see your face and this obviously isn't like other times you've had nightmares. your face is different. they reluctantly sit on the edge of your bed (or just reluctantly ask you what's wrong) and you get the chance to tell them what you did, and how it's haunting you and all you can think about. obviously bailey is in some deep shit with what they do, they've absolutely dealt with murder before. they know how it can affect someone. and now two different things could happen. they sigh and walk over to you (getting up from the bed if they sat down) give you an awkward half hug, or they could sigh and tell you that they'll give you an extra day or two to get some money for rent, but just this once.

whitney: when they're in a relationship with you, i really feel they could border on kyler if they were a little more unhinged, with how protective they can get of you (punching someone in the stomach and beating them up and stealing from the person that either has sex with you or just SAYS they'd have sex with you on halloween) but i don't think they've ever done something as serious as kill a person, so they'd think you were bullshitting for a minute, until they see how serious you are, they'd get worried about if someone saw you, if you'd get caught, call you a dumbass while hugging you (sorry im weak to sweet whitney)

pure sydney: they get scared but try to reassure that they're sure it'll be ok, it was for your protection. They'll pray for you. - - love corrupt sydney: still taken aback but doesn't lose any love, says something about how if protecting yourself gets you sent to hell they'll go down with you

AND! i think the PC should be allowed to choke out NPCs during noncon encounters, if they manage to gain control of the situation.

depending on if this is before or after you killed someone the text could change

If you haven't killed anyone, you naturally stop once they pass out. but if you have you keep going until it's a force stop and you get + + trauma + + stress

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 61 Review - Flow And Ryme

We’re finally at Montenevera Town so Roy can do his Implementation Test, but doesn’t this episode feel a little clunky? I feel like they were trying to squeeze in so many things before Roy did his battle but the battle went by super fast, like a snowstorm, and it just ends. Please tell me I’m not the only one who had this feeling?

The kids have some free time before battling Ryme as she’s not in her Gym, so they meet a bunch of Greavard. I like that creepy Pokedex entries continue to make their appearance in the anime as the kids learn that Greavards suck life essence from those around them. Speaking of creepy Pokemon, Terapagos gets itself into danger again when two Drifloon kidnap it by carrying its bag straps. I could only sigh at this scene because Terapagos wandering off and getting into danger has become tiresome to watch. Though, it was amusing how the Drifloon were carrying it because it is known for taking children or Pokemon to the afterlife. Does this hint that Terapagos is going to die?

Nemona makes a reappearance when she shows up to rescue Terapagos from falling. She’s here to hope to get a battle at Ryme’s concert. Like how Terapagos gets into danger as a recurring thing, Nemona getting denied a battle seems to be a recurring thing as well. I wonder if Nemona is being set up to be Roy’s rival or to battle Roy in the future.

Then we get to the battles. Roy battles MC Sledge before battling Ryme. While Roy does get a win from MC Sledge, he loses to Ryme rather harshly. He loses his momentum when things get too desperate, he terastalizes but doesn’t even get to use it as Fuecoco gets knocked out. I have a lot to say about the battle against Ryme. It’s way too fast-paced. The moment it starts, Kilowattrel gets knocked out and then Fuecoco knocks out Houndstone and then Fuecoco struggles with Toxitricity before getting knocked out. Though, there were some interesting aspects about the battle. Roy’s loss was because of predictability. He used the same strategy as he did in the battle with MC Sledge, which Ryme saw. This is why she was able to wipe the floor with him. He needs to amp up his strategy if he wants to improve and not rely on the same song over and over again. What Ryme said to Roy about being a failure of a partner to Fuecoco was harsh, but it was needed because Roy wasn’t in sync with him.

I guess my only solid gripe is that the battle wasn’t a Double Battle. Ryme was the hardest Gym Leader for me when I was playing Pokemon Violet because I didn’t expect a Double battle, hence why I struggled so hard due to going in blind completely lacking a strategy.

Complaints aside, I really liked Ryme’s rap. People usually find anime characters’ rapping cringe, but not me. I seriously enjoyed the tempo and presentation of Ryme’s rap. I think it flowed well. Maybe she can be a contestant on Paradox Live (which I am a fan of)? Roy’s rapping was handled well too! He can participate in Paradox Live as well! 

My predictions for Roy’s rematch is that he’s going to find ways to battle using different songs for different moves. Maybe that way, Fuecoco can finally evolve, which I am expecting next episode because it does feel like it’d be the perfect time for him to evolve. If anything, I sort of want Roy to focus on training Kilowattrel because Electric moves can be very useful when facing Houndstone. What are your predictions for next week’s episode?

[seafoamreadings]

week of september 3rd, 2023

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: venus in leo finally goes direct, and your creativity and fun start to amp back up. a spark of life returns to your aura. be advised venus is still in "shadow" for a few weeks and some precautions should remain in place for that time, but the fire is being stoked again.

taurus: all in all this is a very auspicious week for taureans, even if jupiter does turn retrograde in your sign. simply be careful not to be overly generous, but also there's no need to be stingy with others nor with yourself. love your inner child, and celebrate the direct motion of venus, your ruling planet.

gemini: although mercury remains retrograde, its conjunction with the sun this week marks a turning point metaphysically and mentally. use that energy to change a neural rut you've carved in your mind, so that you traverse intellectual paths you prefer. you're more neuroplastic than usual.

cancerians: retrograding activity is aboil but it affects you less than many others. the wane of the moon may have your energy a little low but this is easily remedied with good sleep and nutrition. don't skimp on that self care.

leo: venus finally ends her long retrograde in your sign this week! still don't go too wild as there is about a month of a shadow period afterward. but the chaos - or utter crushing boredom as has been the case for some - recedes starting now.

virgo: those who are wise will continue to take mercury retrograde seriously, and you also have a sober ceres transit taking place this week, but even with all that, the money aligns for you all week. try to remember that mercurial money loves to be fluid and in exchange; while you can build wealth, do not hoard.

libra: ceres is at the precipice of leaving your sign to head into scorpio. for you that will be financially nourishing, but this week she's still in your first house and it may be tempting to shell out unnecessary expenses. avoid the temptation. other financial blessings are in place, perhaps a loan or a gift or inheritance come through.

scorpio: your career and/or public image have undoubtedly been a focus all summer. the direct motion of venus brings about one last sweep of those recurring themes. if you feel you've been observed under harsh lighting so to speak, it improves from here, but be sure to integrate and implement the things you've learned through those trials.

sagittarius: your ruling planet jupiter moves retrograde in your 6th house of sacred routines while venus in leo, your 9th house, shifts back to direct motion. the more sacred, holy, and *interesting* you can make this week, the more auspicious it will be for you!

capricorn: the mermaid goats may well be in for a fiery romantic week this week, grounded in that good taurean energy as jupiter turns retrograde. if you don't see it on the horizon already, it's still a great idea to do some art and if paint and pens or a composition are not really your thing, consider how you can turn your life into an artistic expression in itself.

aquarius: venus direct in leo FINALLY means big!! things in your committed relationships, not just the romantic ones but especially those if you have them. the cycle isn't over for another month or so while venus leaves the shadow of that retrograde, but the pace picks up and the fun returns to your seventh house again. remember other people are a reflection of you in so many ways. what have you seen in the mirror since june?

pisces: the period does still have a melancholy tone and some will be panicking over a large number of retrogrades, but for you it's nevertheless an auspicious week. you may feel sad, but no amount of sadness can actually subtract the joy in life. try to make room for both simultaneously. all will be well.

[world-of-warhammer]

KHORNE.

And Khornate factions. Khornites? Ears of Kho- y'know not gonna tempt it.

Here are my thoughts, things I like, headcanons, (Khorne and Khaine are the same person! Wake up Elves!!), and how I feel things could be better written.

I miss the idea of Orcs/Orks who fall into Khorne's grace and end up as Chaos Greenskins or Orks. It's a neat idea Warcraft played with and it's disappointing that it's not really a thing.

In case it was unclear from the profile picture. I do love Valkia. As far as a corruption of the myth of the Valkyrie goes, A+ and I think enabling Khorne in-lore to really amp up followers who pursue murder and killing is a great choice for the corrupting nature of Chaos.

I didn't bring them up in my basics-ish post (they are a different faction and will get their turn) but as far as Khorne and Beastmen...I feel like they don't get as much love as they should. But that we will go over another time.

Warriors of Chaos and Norscans who follow Khorne make a ton of sense from the in and out of universe perspective, but the more interesting thing about Khorne in general is that motto regarding "caring not from where the blood flows" in that the Empire and Brettonia are both very efficient or effective warmachines and fuel his strength as much as the Warriors who serve him do. So Khorne only cares about whoever wins (in as much as Khorne cares)

I didn't bring it up during my basics post, but despite using he/him for Khorne; kudos to GW for re-affirming that the Chaos Gods are without gender as beings of pure chaotic energy. Kinda ehh on the male pronouns as default for writing on the various wiki for each of the Chaos Gods, but I doubt Khorne (or the others) would care anyways so it's whatever.

As far as personal headcanons. I am of the mindset that Skarbrand (who betrayed Khorne by trying to kill him and thus was punished) is one of the purest Khorne followers. As they do not expect to get anything, worship regardless, and continue spreading violence and wrathful murder wherever possible. Nothing more murderous than trying to kill the god of Murder.

Quick Total Warhammer 3 aside. Upcoming Khorne Legendary Lord, Skulltaker; sounds cool as hell from a gameplay perspective based on the information the devs shared on how they want to implement the new DLC character.

Blood for the blood god and Skulls for the skull throne.

As always feel free to engage and share your thoughts.

[dgknightblue]

Ah dramatic monologues :3

Gave Poppy one, will implement one day about toxic yaoi breek.

Like this version of Creek is kind of a monster.

Like amped up how obsessive he is over branch.

I don’t know if it will be a sequel to Love Hurts or its own alternate timeline.

I also down want to say what the monologue is about, just know Poppy is beyond pxssed.

[albertfinch]

REALIZING OUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST

It is imperative that we realize our personal identity in Christ.  In Colossians 2:9 we discover this central fact concerning Christ Jesus:  "For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily."

Our outlook on life is changed as we contemplate:  "And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." (Colossians 2:10)

"You are complete," which means we lack nothing at all, as we abide in Him.  Abiding in Christ and allowing Him to flow freely out of us enables us to function with the greatest degree of success, thus fulfilling God's CALL upon our life.

Understanding our Christ identity is essential in order to obtain our divine DESTINY.

We are called to succeed in advancing the Kingdom of God on earth -- to walk in overcoming victory: "...because as He is, so are we in this world" (1 John 4:17)

Romans 6:11,13,14 - "Think of yourselves as dead to sin but alive to God in union with Christ Jesus. Nor must you surrender any part of yourselves to sin, to be used for wicked purposes.  Instead, give yourselves to God, as men who have been brought from death to life, and surrender your whole being to Him to be used for righteous purposes....you do not live under law but under God's grace."

The yielded life is essential for us to walk in the fullness of God's PURPOSE for our lives -- as we empty ourselves of the things we hold on to, allowing Him to have His perfect work within us.

PRESSING IN FOR BREAKTHROUGH

Acts 10:38 - "How God anointed Jesus....who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil.." The word "oppressed" is derived from a root word which means "press, to squeeze." The enemy is applying great pressure to cause us to go backwards. He does not desire that we "press in" for our deliverance and BREAKTHROUGH. There is also a strong attack from the enemy that would attempt to cause us to quit the race, throw in the towel, and not fulfill the things in our life that God has called us to do.

Obviously, now is the time to run hard after His heart! Now is the time to see the love of Jesus nourishing and flowing into our heart so that it can flow out into the lives of others.!

SEEKING HIS PURPOSE FOR OUR LIFE

Through Him, peace is established deep within us, causing us to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will lead us and guide us as we ask, knock, and seek (Matthew 7:7) to understand and implement our calling in Christ! This place of trust is beyond the natural ability of a person. It comes only through a relationship with the Lord, who will lead us and bring to pass all that He has purposed for us.

"Matthew 7:8 AMP - "For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, the door will be opened."

We seek the Father and not "busyness" to keep legalistic, religious rules. As we seek to understand and carry out His PURPOSE FOR OUR LIFE and not just the benefits of "His hand," we will find that the more we know Abba Father, the more we will desire to disciple new believers into their Christ identity.

"That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened that you may know what is the hope of His CALLING...." - Ephesians 1: 17,18

We can position our hearts to become an open portal to Heaven -- where God infuses us with His love, presence, and revelation – is flowing to us and through us as we bear fruit that remains for His Kingdom.

Like Moses' encounter with the burning bush, new direction often becomes clearer in the wilderness and DESTINY unfolds through the oddest signs along the trail.

ALBERT FINCH MINISTRY

[zildraws]

This year I'm pushing through with a more concentrated effort to complete Inktober. My record from way-back-when was 18 and I don't think I've gotten close since, given my focus on school and other stuff that always amped up in Fall. But this year I am scheduling and planning it out a bit more. I did technically start late, as I got sick the last days of September, but there's no inktober-police so whatev's. We're going for personal victories here. These were done over the weekend, so it's doubtful that I be able to keep up this specific caliber of quality and effort, but we'll see how it goes. these all ended up being ink-wash paintings with incrementally more acrylic inks mixed in. I don't think I'll pull out all the supplies like this for all the entries, but I was itching to paint and mess more with acrylic lately, as I don't have a lot of time using it and would like to implement it more. If you feel like keeping up as these are uploaded, the aim is to get one up on my instagram everyday. Finished scans will get posted on DeviantArt as I manage to get scans.

[defiledtomb]

Ouroboros: Progress

I haven't written one of these in forever, so it's slightly clunky, but I aim to have one of these out at least every quarter, if not monthly. Let's dive into it! Spoiler warning for the sneak peeks at the bottom.

What I got done since last month:

After the update drop, I took some time off the main story to prevent the budding burnout. I’m sure you are well aware of my malaise by now- it's a constant effort to stay on the tightrope.

I don't think I brought it up explicitly but when I started writing Ouroboros it was me riding the high of becoming a person again right after years long sick leave and battle with mental health, meaning that while I am absolutely thrilled that I'm getting so much out of life again, that fragile part of me still lives on and I have to take care not to let it get the best of me, and that means constant vigilance and self-compassion. Writing a project this big could easily be a full time job on its own, but I also have to account for going back to the workforce after being gone for so long. It's tough! irl work/life keeps amping up and will continue to eat my energy. Though, come summer, I might actually have some good news on my schedule and how my writing will fit into that. Fingers crossed.

Otherwise I have really enjoyed interacting and goofing around with you on tumblr again, and I’ve had a blast just reading and playing games. It was a very welcomed break. I still got a lot done regarding Ouroboros:

- Got started on all the short stories you voted on, and built the framework of code for how stories will be unlocked as you progress the story. 

- I got some much needed help with setting up a side-blog for writing content only; it’s getting there! Soon Ouro will have its own space.

- I added about 3k words to the next chunk of act 1. A drop in the ocean, but progress is progress. 

- I started sneak-writing on the next act and specifically, the underwater/caving chapter. I am so excited for it! Besides writing and hiking, diving and caving are core parts of my interests. (Didn't I once say that Ouro is disgustingly self indulgent? x] Because it sure is.) 

What’s next:

I am still taking it slow, since most of act 1 pt2 is already written  (60k words ish), and I have some responsibilities I’m gonna need to devote my time to. My goals for February are leading up to Ouro’s first anniversary, so I want to prepare something fun for us to enjoy! If it will be a chunk of update or something else remains to be decided. On the 8th of March we ride.

My priorities for February are:

-having fun with the short stories

-get the sideblog up and running with a new FAQ and character pages, and a new intro post.

-solidify the code and scene transitions for the next update 

- (stretch goal) edit/rewrite/add to the unhinged mess that the next update still is 

 Re: bug reports

Thankfully, last update was relatively bug free, but there are still a few reports sitting in my inbox waiting for changes, mainly

-the egregious oversight of having id's romance scenes appearing although the hunter is committed to L/not in the poly. More on that here.

-the questions with Iontif cutting off short in one path

-a section of the flashback with wrong pronouns + other pronoun variables not displaying correctly (the bane of my existence!!)

Thank you to those who reported these, I always note them down if I don't fix them directly. The reason why I am almost always tardy on bug fixes is because I'm treating this as a first draft that will be rewritten; it makes little sense to dedicate so much time to fixing things that will need to be fixed again. I do them when I have little else I want/have to do. I'm sorry! Triaging problem areas is essential to keeping this show going. I hope that it isn't too invasive to have a few errors in the scenes; rest assured that they will get fixed (eventually 🤡)

Re: save system

Something that has really bothered me lately, is thinking about CoG's obstinate refusal to implement save systems. I absolutely won't release Ouroboros without one, as with how much variation goes into the story (and knowing from first-hand experience playing large games, that one miss-click (or that horrendous bug that chooses options for you if you even look at it wrong) will have you go down a path you didn’t want, or you are faced with starting over, which sometimes leads to such fatigue that you just…stop playing.) it feels like shooting yourself in the foot to not have one. And worse, it feels plain cruel to subject the reader to that. There isn’t any possible way to fit every nuance of a choice into the box-text, or to imply a delayed outcome as a result of making a choice that seems very “innocent” at first glance.

So I stand before a really difficult decision; either code a save system from the bottom up, and I would have to do that sooner rather than later, or port the game to twine which brings its own bundle of problems. Right now I honestly no idea what I want to do, and I have to admit that it fuels a bit of writer's block as I feel locked in place until I come to a decision. Heurgh.

Now for the fun part. Sneak peeks!

I wont share the latter parts as they are still... Unhinged. But the next update isn't just romance, its weapons and insidious cults and fighting, too.  More on that, later.

Thanks for your support, your kind words and for sharing your journey in Ouro. It means the world to me. I’m serious!

[audio-luddite]

Red wine, vinyl, and chocolate

Those are things I like. Some people do not like those things. That will not affect my opinion of them.

Right now I am only doing one of those things. Red Wine. Well actually the wafer cookie had some chocolate. But not vinyl. I am giving streaming a chance and I could get used to it. But I conclude there is something missing. It is not missing in my vinyl.

That missing thing is something I like. Samuel Barber Adagio is really deep, yet on the stream it is missing some organic factor.

My system is configured to be full lossless Apple Music which is at least CD rebook up to 24bit 192khz. That is pretty damn good. My node DAC thing is supposed to be good and has the right chips. So is what is missing in digital in general, or in some part of the chain of custody of the signal.

I have no idea. I will not condemn the stream concept generally, but there is an issue with my implementation or how my implementation reacts to the source. That assumes what is missing is my fault or that it is something that is pleasant and wrong.

Hey my tube amp is very pleasant and wrong compared to ultimate detail. It has the warm golden light. My transistor amp has the clarity of the midday sun. I like the sound enough to buy the thing and to purchase a full set of new glass.

I suspect that once the ARC goes online I may enjoy streaming more. It may add back enough magic to make the difference. If so that means that two wrongs are making a right. Hmmm.

We shall see.

[arkus-rhapsode]

So I try to keep recent news out of my posts. Usually I like to wait for a situation to pan out to avoid snap judgements. But recently, some news has been playing out that really made me upset.

If you haven’t heard, SAG-AFTRA (Screen Actors Guild – American Federation of Television and Radio Artists) had recently signed a deal with an AI voice production company known as Replica Studios for licensing actor’s voices in video games.

This is coming off the massive strike where SAG was fighting against things like AI implementation in film and script development. Though the claim is that this will be an “ethical” implementation of the technology. And the irony and backlash was quite apparent. But the important thing that should be obvious to everyone is the ones this affects the most, voice actors.

This article by Forbes has many links to some of the people I’ll be citing and their reactions. So please check that out if you want a more professional run down: https://www.forbes.com/sites/conormurray/2024/01/10/video-game-voice-actors-criticize-sag-aftra-over-agreement-with-ai-company/amp/

So the reaction from VAs has been pretty understandably upset. Well known VAs like Steve Blum, Veronica Taylor, Allegra Clark, and Brenden Blaber. Expressing disappointment in the union and that this opening a gateway for video game companies to cut use their voices without actually needing them to record. Now this deal is for just Replica Studios, but it’s still very disheartening that this was a concession.

Now I am not an actor. My career and life doesn’t hinge on the choices of millionaires running film production companies and what policies or investments they make that would require me seek out a union’s protection. Any discussion around how SAG itself internally operates and it’s treatment of certain professions over others is not my place to talk about. I instead implore you to listen to people have been a VA and part of that Union and listen to their experience with them. So why make this post? I’m not particularly important or an influencer. Well the answer is simply I love voice acting and care about it as a profession. Even if I’m not one, I can’t tell you how so many of my favorite moments in fiction/media were elevated by someone’s acting. And this is prominent in video games.

This blog has many times devoted itself to live blogs and posts about games. Games like Fire Emblem Three Houses, Persona 5, and Danganronpa. Games with noticeable voice acting involved in their presentation and their narratives. And in my experience some of those performances are tied to some of the enjoyment and identity of the game. And it sucks knowing how all those things you love or admire can potentially be replaced by machines. When there was a union that had been fighting to avoid things like this for on screen actors.

I cannot imagine the hurt this has caused for people’s whose job is to be a professional VA, and you are hearing about companies in the video game sphere like Square Enix and Microsoft going hard in AI. I can imagine many are scared for their livelihoods. And knowing how greedy or unscrupulous some game companies can get, the possibility they go through with AI will be not in the favor of “ethics” it’s in the favor of profits.

All I can say is that im a VA fan. And I know plenty of games that have been elevated by their voice acting. And I will say that voice acting is acting. It is an art form that deserves the same amount of protection as screen actors.

Please support the VAs. Even if you don’t think about it as much, if there’s a character you liked in Persona or Fire Emblem game, please check out who is doing those voices. Because their work is part of the experience.

[tenspontaneite]

Assembly (Chapter 3/?)

These long stretches of the superstructure are dull and empty, with nothing of colour or interest to draw the eye. Suns stares around as though for the first time, aware as they have never been how dissatisfying it all is. It is standard for an iterator’s interior, but it is also wrong.

My self should not be like this, they think, and it feels like a revelation.

 (Chapter length: 7.8k. Link to ao3 with workskin)

 Some real gender vibes in this one, folks.

Warnings: none. It’s a shockingly chill and wholesome chapter for the most part.

 ---

[LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

SRS: …I may have new protocols to suggest for that AMP User Manual you’ve been putting together.

NSH: Oho. This sounds interesting. What happened?

SRS: My selfling went to Septkai and gained new experiences. What else?

SRS: The re-integration when they returned was more affecting than I expected. I experienced several stalled local processes which caused some minor damage to several clusters of neural tissue in my chamber.

NSH: …Well now, I didn’t expect that. Are you alright?

SRS: Yes, fine. It was unfortunately painful, but the tissue will heal.

SRS: In the future, I recommend that any integrations with returning selflings be performed under a dedicated processing partition. It will delay memory integration relative to the amount of data to process, but it should prevent accidentally causing oneself damage with upsetting or overwhelming qualia.

SRS: Sending my suggested implementation strategy and code now. Apologies for the length of the messages to come, as always.

NSH: We’re both used to having to cope with transmitting programming like this, it’s fine~

NSH: Seriously though, Seven Red Suns. Is everything okay? What happened with your AMP that was that affecting?

SRS: …I’ll tell you about it later, if that’s alright.

SRS: I’m still processing.

 “It’s alright,” Suns soothes the little creature, puppet lingering on the ground to reassure it. “I’m fine. It was just…a momentary slip, that’s all. We’ll be ready next time.”

Their selfling stands nearby, deliberately disconnected. Neither of them had anticipated the response their CMQ exchange would yield, and for all that the data are all fully transmitted already, it seems SRS-01 is still reeling from the experience of the shared pain. Wary to connect again.

“You remember it, yes?” Their messenger signs anxiously, as though concerned that all the memory of the day has been wiped clean. “My name? The talking?”

“Yes, Spearmaster, of course,” they say, the first time their puppet has spoken it. It aches. “Everything we saw and spoke of. Not to worry.”

A little later, when they successfully manage to send Spearmaster off to feed, they both slump in the privacy of the chamber, the puppet wincing and the selfling grimacing as best they can. It wasn’t a lie, to say that their tissue would heal. But…

“Want me to look at that neural wiring?” Their selfling asks, looking painfully resplendent in cleric’s garb. “If it’s still hurting after that.”

“Yes please,” Suns admits, laying their puppet onto the chamber floor with relief. “Only, be gentle. That integration really was unexpectedly painful.”

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: So the way I see it, our priorities at this point should be to increase physical conditioning on the AMPs and test remaining critical systems. Anything else?

SRS: Provisioning.

NSH: What do you mean?

SRS: We may not need food, per se, but we will need supplies. We’ll need to collaborate on deciding what tools to bring with us. For…

NSH: …Yes, I see. We have no idea what state they’ll be in when we get to them. Or what would help.

NSH: Do you think Moon could use some extra neurons? Some more slag keys, even?

SRS: It’s truly hard to say until we can judge the situation in person. But I can’t see how it would hurt. Yes, we should bring neurons and slag keys. Maybe some other gifts, too.

SRS: It must have been so long since they got any new interesting pearls, either of them. Perhaps something entertaining?

NSH: Oh I can definitely do ‘entertaining’.

SRS: I certainly hope you can do ‘tasteful’, too.

NSH: Honestly, Suns. Would I ever choose a gift that wasn’t perfectly tasteful? ~

SRS: No Significant Harassment. I remember what you sent to Five Pebbles that one time.

NSH: …Okay, fair enough.

 Suns turns the question over and over in their mind: what will they bring for Pebbles?

Practical necessities aside, it’s hard to think of anything. The two of them share a good many interests, and always have – it would have been hard to find another iterator who appreciated arts and culture as much as Pebbles, and he’d always been quietly fascinated by what Septkai produced in Suns’ name. But it isn’t as though the People have been producing any new art since they lost contact, is it? There’s nothing new to share. How depressing.

Although…

“You like the pretty hanging things, yes?” Spearmaster asks them, while they’re in the middle of mulling over its own elaborate floor engravings: the first new art in the city in so very long. Their puppet blinks to attention. “In the big house? And the pictures, on the walls.”

“Yes, I always loved the art of Septkai,” Suns agrees, not entirely sure where the little creature is going with this.

“Bring some here?” It suggests, and knocks the gravity out of a nearby hallway in so doing. Suns recovers themself, puppet going still. “Make your place pretty, too! Like you brought the clothes back, to make your selfling pretty.” It peers up at them. Though it doesn’t say anything, it certainly can’t have escaped its attention that Suns’ puppet hasn’t touched the ritual clothes yet.

“The things you say…” They murmur, antennae flicking back with unease. “You have a way of challenging me, don’t you, my friend?” When Spearmaster only blinks at them, politely confused, they sigh. “I have never considered that before. The idea of taking those things from the city…it feels uncomfortably like desecrating a corpse.”

“Took the clothes,” it points out, perplexed.

“Yes, well, all things considered, those feel like they belong to me a little more than the rest does,” they admit, but…yes, it’s a weak separation, isn’t it? Septkai was their city, after all. In the absence of its original inhabitants…who else would it all belong to?

And then a thought occurs to them:

I wonder if there are any readable pearls left in the Houses...

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: So I can confirm that our short-range communications are capable of working over distances of around 300 to 700 stretches, depending on terrain and intervening structures. Not ideal, but could be worse.

NSH: We can boost off of our overseers, though. That helps a lot.

SRS: …

SRS: Please don’t tell me you tested that on the surface?

NSH: Well, where else was I going to test it?

NSH: Might not have been the best idea though, I’ll admit. I nearly got carried off by a vulture.

NSH: You know, people have always given me a lot of grief for creating those, but I never paid them much mind.

NSH: But all of a sudden, I feel like they might’ve had a point.

SRS: I’m going to remind you of this conversation the next time you have a horrifying bioengineering project.

 They ask their messenger what practice it recommends, if one is going to be heading out onto the surface at some point.

“Climbing, running fast, jumping far,” it signs, thinking about it. After a second, it demonstrates a startlingly-graceful backflip. “Special jumps. And throwing! Throwing spears is important!”

“You might be biased on that last item, all things considered, but…you’re not wrong.” They did make it capable of extruding effectively infinite spines for a reason, after all. “I’ll have to see about the flipping. We did engineer a respectable degree of flexibility in, but...I’ll have to try. In the meantime…do you think you could do me a favour?”

In short order, Suns’ selfling is set up in one of the least damageable rooms of their superstructure, exercising like a Person in a gymnasium while Spearmaster goes off to raid Septkai for pearls. It’s more than slightly embarrassing, but, well. There’s probably not a more efficient way to improve their physical conditioning, is there?

They continue thus for several days. A respectable pile of pearls accumulates on the floor of their chamber, hunted down unerringly by their little creation. With nothing better to do, Suns’ puppet spends a good amount of time rifling through the data, looking for anything interesting.

There are a distressing number of bequests and personal qualia, more or less all left to Seven Red Suns. All sorts of personal files, music, records, work data, and so on. There’s also a startlingly large amount of pornography, which they’d been under the impression was discouraged in Septkai. Bizarre, Suns thinks. Even with their more recently-discovered context, it’s all so bizarre. The People’s reproductive drives must have been truly insistent to explain this kind of wide-spread violation of social mores.

In the end, there’s not much of use to be found in a few days of Spearmaster’s scavenging. The music is nice, though; they set that aside along with all of the useful professional data and bequests.

None of it would make even a half-way acceptable gift for Five Pebbles after all this time. But they compile all of the music, particularly the religious hymns, onto a pearl anyway.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: Starting to think that maybe heading off across the surface on my own isn’t the smartest idea.

SRS: ??? Why would you do that anyway.

NSH: Wasn’t that the plan? Send our selflings to visit each other?

SRS: I was under the impression that Spearmaster and I would go to you. It’s safer that way, don’t you think? To go out with an experienced traveller. And your can is closest to Five Pebbles anyway. It’s just more efficient.

NSH: I suppose……….

NSH: I want to visit your can, though~

SRS: Well then wait until you have another AMP or two to send off to me, so they can protect each other. Or until you’re effective enough at surviving the surface on your own. Surely the practical experience should transfer to new AMPs perfectly well.

NSH: The conditioning won’t, but you have a point. Do you think it would be worth sharing practice data once we’re in transmitting range? Our AMPs are built on very similar principles so far, after all.

SRS: I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Did you make yours the same size as your puppet?

NSH: Well…yes. What else?

SRS: I suppose I never asked…Is your puppet around the average size for iterators of your era?

NSH: Very slightly shorter. Why is that relevant?

SRS: …You know, I think I’ll hold off on answering that. It’ll be more interesting for you to find out in person.

NSH: What??? Oh now you know this is going to bug me the whole time.

SRS: What can I say? Your habits are rubbing off on me.

SRS: I have reason to believe our AMPs might have conflicting practice data, at any rate. We’ll have to calibrate individually.

SRS: Honestly? I like it better that way. Developing my own skills and strengths in a near-organic way…it has a certain something to it.

NSH: Does this mean you don’t want my data on interesting field-applicable uses of the artificial chromatophores?

SRS: …No, I’ll take that, if you please.

 No Significant Harassment’s chromatophore data, for the most part, seems to revolve around useful things to project on one’s chassis.

“Apparently, putting a false vulture mask on the back of my head will deter lizards,” Suns says to their messenger, testing out different patterns on their selfling’s skin.

“Yes, true. If you pick off a vulture mask from the body, most lizards are afraid of it.”

The voice of practical experience, clearly. It’s a little unnerving to contextualise Spearmaster’s sheer skill in terms of how much better at this they are than Suns. “I’ll keep that in mind. And…hm. If you project a pattern like moving, twisting tendrils, you can sometimes fool a vulture into thinking there’s a leviathan around. But only around water.”

Spearmaster considers that, then shrugs. “Don’t know. Can’t do that.”

“Yes, fair enough…do you suppose there are any specific colours that things might be afraid of? I can do more or less any colour.”

“Red.” They don’t even pause to think about it. “Red and black. Like red lizard, like red centipede.”

Suns has seen images of them from overseers and facility cameras. Like most photographs, they think it’s probably very different in person. “Are they that bad?”

“Very! Yes! Horrible awful bad.” Spearmaster slaps their tail on the floor for emphasis.

“Hmm…” Interesting, that. They peer at their cleric’s cloak, already mostly red and near-black, and wonder if it might pose some deterrent even on its own. Maybe it is practical for travel, if it’s technically aposematic colouration? …No, too heavy. But maybe…

Experimentally, they shift their chassis colour entirely to a red so dark it may as well be black, with their standard pale red patterning going bright and bloody. It does seem to provoke an instinctive response; even here within the superstructure, they see Spearmaster flinch back for a moment, a spike reflexively extruding from one of its tail holes.

It pulls the spear free and discards it, seeming a little embarrassed. “…Yes, good. Sudden colour on you like that – might scare things. Not long. But enough to run.”

Suns nods, and passes the data to their greater self so they can begin writing a program. Half a second passes, and they’re already away, designing a module for their skin driver that will shift to this colour scheme when they’re startled, angry, or aggressive. In the meantime:

“Strange,” Spearmaster remarks, pausing their signing to get in close and pat at Suns’ face with its little grabby hands. Whatever the motivation, it seems satisfied after sniffing at them a bit, and recedes back to their lap to say “Colour changing like that, but smell the same. Feel the same, too. Looks interesting. Like the big picture of you, in the big place.”

“…The cathedral,” they correct, signing along to demonstrate the word, and look away. “Yes, I suppose I would look closer to it in this state, wouldn’t I?” A strange thought, to be closest to the image of Septkai’s god, whilst colouring their skin for a threat display. They think of themself thus: startled or angry or protective, skin shifting black-and-red like the avatar of some wrathful deity.

It isn’t what Septkai wanted of them. They wanted a guide, not a fierce protector. But all the same…

They’re tall, aren’t they? Large compared to a slugcat, certainly. Large compared to Sig’s selfling, in all likelihood. Taller than most anything on the surface stands, capable of adopting a colour scheme that modern fauna instinctively fears…

The Houses of Septkai built Suns’ puppet to be tall, that it would tower over them with the appropriate grandeur. On the holy days, they would don the ritual garb and hang around in it for the clerics’ pictures, looking dramatic and grand as the populace apparently wanted.

It never failed to bemuse them. Shouldn’t the size of their superstructure be imposing enough? Building the mere puppet thus…it must have made sense to them, or they’d not have done it, but it’s baffling regardless.

The great height of their puppet has always been as good as meaningless, really. It’s fixed and immovable, locked forever in a chamber where size has little purpose, except to impress the People who would come in occasionally to be divinely loomed over. Now it has no purpose at all. The height of their selfling, though…that could actually mean something.

I could be intimidating, like this, they think, and enjoy the idea more than they expect.

“I think you’d best give me more lessons with those spears of yours, my friend,” they say to it, and watch its ears perk up. “I suspect Sig’s selfling is going to need a lot of protecting, hm? Better to be ready.”

“You will be the most spear-mastering iterator in the world,” Spearmaster declares, and drags them off to the practice area.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

SRS: What are you up to, Nish? You’ve been oddly quiet.

NSH: Nish? That’s an old nickname. Haven’t heard that in a while.

SRS: I’ve been rereading old conversation logs while my selfling trains. Blame it on that.

SRS: Really though. This kind of silence from you always makes me suspicious. Especially right now.

NSH: Hah, you know me too well.

NSH: It’s nothing much, though. I’ve just been trying to work out how biological I can make an AMP design before it needs special modifications to work it with an AOS.

SRS: I thought you were running low on biological resources.

NSH: Oh, I am. This is all just simulations. Very, very comprehensive simulations, but still simulations. Hence my silence.

NSH: It’s quite tricky. Past a certain point, the body is so biological that it will die the second an AOS is taken out of it, so practically speaking you’d need to install the AOS the second you decanted the body. And then you could never uninstall it or the body would die, because the autonomic nervous functions can’t work without a brain. A waste.

NSH: And on top of that, if it’s going to communicate properly with the AOS, I’d need to engineer some sort of attachment to help the AOS genome accept the body’s genome. Or else modify my own genome’s communication protocols to let it accept information from disparate genomes…

NSH: That should be doable, I think. Our superstructures accept and communicate with foreign neuron flies just fine. I should be able to create more exceptions like that, especially when the AOS itself mostly just contains neurons anyway.

SRS: …That sounds excessively complex.

SRS: Why would you even want a body that heavily biological in the first place? Is it really worth the effort?

NSH: You can make more interestingly complex forms with biological engineering than technological. Biological bodies are really just more intriguing. I might be biased since bioengineering is my speciality, but that’s my opinion~

NSH: Besides, it’s more sustainable long term, I think. Biological resources are more easily replenished than mineral, when the metal around is all so hard to recycle.

NSH: Aren’t you curious about what it’s like, too? Moving around on almost entirely organic limbs, using all those complicated internal organs…it’s so fascinating. I want to know what it feels like.

NSH: Organic sensory processing is so bizarre. I’d like to try eating things, some day. I bet it’s an interesting experience.

SRS: Most of the sensory experience for organics is based in their brains. Presumably if you’re substituting the AOS for the body’s brain, you’d lose all of that anyway.

NSH: Yes, which is why I’m trying to see if it’s possible to grow a body with just the brain parts for sensory processing in. Then you’d be able to just attach a program that parses biological data like the People’s quale upload system did, and some drivers to match, and you’d be good to go.

NSH: Provided the AOS can work with the foreign genome in the first place. But I’m working on that.

SRS: I wouldn’t even know where to start with simulating something like this. I suppose you’re the expert bioengineer between us, after all.

SRS: That said, I do have a suggestion. If you’re already keeping part of the brain, then include neural tissue to regulate autonomic nervous function. That way the essential bodily systems will run even without AOS input, so you’d be able to switch out systems if need be.

SRS: You’d still need to intravenously feed it if it was unoccupied for a while, but you wouldn’t necessarily lose the body the second you uninstalled the AOS.

NSH: Oh, good idea. I’ll definitely get on that.

NSH: Don’t mind me if I’m less talkative than usual, alright? These simulations are pretty demanding, and for obvious ethical reasons I want to be sure I’m not creating a body with its own mind. Even a simple animal one. So…being careful about the brain parts.

SRS: …Yes, please do avoid creating a thinking or feeling being that’s designed to be a vessel and can’t even move on its own. That would be beyond horrifying.

NSH: Hence why I’ve been spending so much time with my simulator~

 On the following day, Spearmaster insists they raid Septkai for baubles.

“This is your place,” it says, more bossy and outspoken the longer it goes with its name known. “Your body-place. It is all you. You should put more things you like here. Not leave it all in city you never see.”

“Well, who am I to argue with that?” Suns says with a laugh, and lets their selfling be pulled off on the excursion.

They’re mostly humouring it, at first. But Septkai is strangely less painful on the second visit, and it makes them wonder. It was like lancing a barely-healed wound, the first time; now it feels cleaner. Like something they might even be able to come to terms with, someday. They keep quiet at the thought, pensive, and let Spearmaster lead them around by the hand.

“Take things from the big pretty house, maybe?” It suggests, of the spire of Whispers Softly in the Glittering Light of Ages.

A pang of hurt returns. “It seems a shame to disturb it, when it looks so lovely in there,” they say, reluctant. “It’s one of your favourite places, isn’t it? You’ve etched the floors to make it even nicer. I don’t want to take the ornaments down from there.”

Spearmaster flicks an ear dismissively. “Take from the boring rooms, then. It is a big place. I mostly like the big rooms.”

Suns sighs, but acquiesces. “I suppose he did explicitly leave all his worldly possessions to me,” they muse, and follow Spearmaster up the spear-ladder to the broken window. They make a mental note to see about unsealing the door sometime for easier ingress, then jump in.

By mutual agreement, they leave the most elaborate rooms undisturbed: the dining hall, the lounging area, the meditation room, and the bathing chamber. They’re all too well-decorated and beautiful to look at, and Suns wants no part in ruining it. Instead, they pull decorations down from the narrow halls and stairwells, laying them out carefully in an old storage crate to avoid them tangling.

Banners of rich fabric, gone a little faded and stiff with the passage of time, but still beautiful in their embroidered glory. Strings of carved red beads, from which depending metal ornaments hang, all in various stylised images of the sun. A trail of metallic ornaments in seven parts, to evoke the stars of Septkaion. This and more they fold into their crate, Spearmaster grasping at things it likes as well to add them to the pile.

It is quite insistent on taking some of the beautifully-ornamented wind chimes, and some of the tiny bright-sounding bells. “In your body-home, there are many places where the gravity moves things around,” it says, with notable enthusiasm. “These will go well there. Make good sounds.”

“I suppose it will work in some sectors,” they allow. “So long as this metal doesn’t disturb anything conductive. That should be easy enough to arrange…”

Tapestries and wall hangings, they harvest in plenty. Spearmaster is very much of the opinion that Suns’ walls could use more art.

“It would be prettier to cover it all in pictures,” they say, a little longingly, as they admire the faded colours of the murals painted in the lounge. “Like this. But there are not enough wall things for it.”

“Not in all the city,” Suns agrees. Even if they were to take down every painting, every tapestry, every banner and mosaic and fresco in Septkai – the whole of it would not be enough to fill their superstructure with art. It is simply too vast. For a moment, they entertain a wistful thought otherwise: their sprawling megalithic halls, always so bare and soulless, instead filled with such a quantity of art they become a gallery in and of themself…

Maybe if they’d expressed the idea back when Septkai was alive, the citizens might have made an effort of it. They’d have probably been thrilled, to fill Suns’ saintly interior with their works. But Septkai is dead, and there is no one left living to make art now.

…Except, no. That’s…not true anymore, is it?

Seven Red Suns stares down at their messenger, who has eagerly applied itself to the art of spear-based engraving, and who knows what else. What else might it learn? Is it interested in other media? It certainly seems to like the colours involved in paintings.

Would it like to paint? Would it apply itself to painting on Sun’s own interior, if given the permission?

A swelling of feeling, difficult to identify, proliferates across their neural wiring. What a gift, they think, of having a person who loves them creating art again, at the prospect of someone they love putting art within them. A true sapient being, with a body, with a creative mind, capable of using them as an iterator never could, trapped and constrained as they are…

They stop short, freezing in the middle of folding up a rich red banner.

“Sun?” Spearmaster signs, in its shorthand name-sign for them. “Something wrong?”

But Suns does not answer, because suddenly, all across their mind is the new and all-encompassing realisation of: I am no longer so constrained.

Slower, like the spread of dawn: I can now create art myself.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: I’m making some progress with the simulations, I think~

NSH: Soon I might even be ready to try starting up growing of a test body. Just to see if it’s viable without an AOS.

SRS: Oh? That’s interesting news. What organic creature are you basing the body on, anyway? You never said.

NSH: Oh, a vulture, of course. I know them so well, after all.

SRS: …Didn’t we just recently have a conversation about how creating your vultures might not have been wise?

NSH: Yes, yes, but this one would only have enough of a brain to have working senses and the ability for its heart to beat on its own, and so on. It’s hardly going to be another new apex predator.

NSH: Which, for the record, absolutely did help the lizard overpopulation we were all struggling with at the time. So there.

SRS: What do you even want a vulture body for? You know you’re going to have to put a part of you inside that, right?

NSH: Fast travel, mostly. Though it would be a good body to hunt with too, which seems like something I should be specifically working towards, what with how much bioengineering I think the future will hold.

NSH: But yes, fast travel. I can only imagine how much delivery of parts and pearls and so on we’ll need to do, just to do something to help our local group. We don’t have vehicles available, so a large flight-capable body is the next best thing.

SRS: Well, you do have a point…

SRS: I can only imagine how slow repairs to anything would be, if we had to carry everything by foot forever.

NSH: Hence the vulture AMP!

SRS: Do you really think a part of yourself would be happy being in a vulture forever, though?

NSH: I don’t know, I feel like flying around biting things with my face has a lot to recommend it.

NSH: Besides, I’m not sure it would be forever. The body is organic enough it should age to destruction eventually.

SRS: That’s a disturbing idea. Would it be part of the Cycle, do you suppose?

NSH: For that matter, do we even know if our AMPs are part of the Cycle or not?

SRS: …

SRS: Neither of our AMPs has been destroyed yet. I don’t know if we can say, until then. But none of the AOS failures came back after I wiped them.

NSH: Memory loss and personality destruction didn’t trigger Cyclical respawn on People, either.

NSH: You never physically destroyed an AOS, did you? Only reset their self and memory.

SRS: …No, I didn’t. So I suppose we don’t know either way.

SRS: Thank you for this new and highly troubling thought.

NSH: You’re very welcome~

 When asked what kinds of material Spearmaster has used to create art in the past, it answers: engravings, with spears, ‘chalk’ drawings with whatever soft mineral it could find, and arrangements of interesting rocks.

When asked, “Would you be interested in learning to paint with the same materials as your favourite murals?” it becomes more excited than Suns thinks they have ever seen it.

First though, they must find the necessary materials.

As expected, everything pre-mixed in the Guild of Great Artisans is irredeemably expired. The acrylic and oil paints are beyond saving, as are the containers of oils and acrylic compounds once used to mix them. The bottles of solvents seem to have survived well enough for the most part, which is something, but…

Suns pokes around the vast storeroom a little longer, and finds…well, a great many things. It is the store of the largest arts guild in Septkai, after all. But most pertinent to the moment are the enormous, carefully sealed tubs of very expensive pigments. There are so many of them.

So much of it, Suns marvels, cracking open the seal on a container half their height, full most of the way to the brim with a dense blue powder. And a good thing, too. Making pigments like this from scratch…it would take materials and labour that simply don’t exist anymore. But with so much in storage, they’d need to do a truly prodigious amount of painting to run out.

“Here, look at this,” they say, beckoning Spearmaster close. “Be careful. This is a very rare thing, and once it’s gone, I don’t know where I’ll find more. But this is a blue pigment. You can mix it with various substances to create different sorts of paint. The ones in these containers can all be mixed with water, or certain oils, or certain acrylic compounds. They would create watercolour, oil, and acrylic paints respectively, ready to use.”

Spearmaster inspects the pigment, interested. “Which kind is on the walls?”

“Most of the murals in Septkai are oil or acrylic. It lasts quite well, under the right conditions,” they reply, but – their eye is caught on something. In the corner, over there. Is that a strongbox…?

Good saints, it is. They replace the lid on the blue pigment tub, then go over to investigate. It’s a miniature vault, old-fashioned in design, like the sort used to store money or extremely valuable items. If they hauled it to their engineering bays, they could cut it open, but…it might be too heavy for that. And it seems to be secured in place, anyway.

Suns frowns, then sits back to send a short range transmission to their superstructure, asking for information. The minutiae of the city’s records are not something they opted to keep in their limited memory storage, so if there exists any reference to this, it is likely to be in their greater self beneath, archived in case of future need.

“What is this?” Spearmaster inquires, following them over.

“A vault, or strongbox. It’s a kind of storage for very prized, very valuable items.” Suns waits, listening, and then- “Ah, yes. Thankfully, one of the city’s ascendants did think to include this in her last testaments. It’s in one of the pearls you found for me the other day, actually. Right then, a combination…”

There are in fact three separate types of combination on the little vault, and unsurprisingly, their controls do not respond very well. Suns has to force some of the parts to turn. But they input all the correct values anyway, and the door creaks open. Inside…

If they’d been organic enough for it, their breath would have caught. Even so, the sight leaves them awash in strange, conflicted emotion.

Within the vault are eight rows of small reinforced vials. Clearly visible within: the liquid gleam of true, sacred gold.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

SRS: All saints drowned, gone, and gilded…

SRS: You will not believe what I just found in Septkai.

NSH: Oh, you’re using the elaborate religious swears. This should be good. What did you find? A lost masterpiece, maybe?

SRS: …No, but that would be nice.

SRS: Void gold. I found void gold.

SRS: Sixty-four vials of it, perfectly preserved, in pristine condition.

NSH: Are you serious? Wasn’t that one of the most valuable substances the People had?

SRS: Moreso even than vacuum-refined void fluid, yes, which I suppose makes sense. It’s a by-product of the successful refinement process, produced in miniscule amounts. Incredibly scarce.

SRS: I can hardly believe my selfling’s eyes. They just transmitted the memory…

SRS: It was in a vault in the foremost artists’ guild in the city. I knew Septkai was wealthy, but…they could’ve sold the Grand Cathedral and the proceeds wouldn’t buy even a third of this cache. I should know. They used it to paint some details in my mural, after all, and some of the other most valued works.

SRS: When did they buy this? Why don’t I have records of it?

NSH: Could it have been illegal smuggling? You have to admit – no one’s city was above that sort of thing, not even yours.

SRS: That makes more sense than anything, at this point. What in the world was my artists’ guild involved in, to have this just sitting around inside a storeroom? I need to have a closer look at the Guildmaster’s pearl.

SRS: …Hah. No, she doesn’t say where she got it. But she apologises to me for ‘shameful greed and misconduct’ and says ‘certain items within my possession have been placed in a vault in the Artisans’ storeroom for safe keeping and preservation, ahead of my departure and ascension’. She never mentions the nature of the items in the vault at all.

NSH: Cagey even on the doorstep of her death, eh.

SRS: Evidently, yes.

SRS: There’s so much of it. I’ve only ever seen a single vial before. I’m still just so shocked.

NSH: Maybe I should start searching my own city, if there’s things like this to be found in there. One more use for a selfling!

SRS: Yes. Probably. I should search more thoroughly as well. I never expected…

NSH: What are you going to do with it?

SRS: What a question.

SRS: This vault would’ve put any one Person among the wealthiest in the world, once. Now…it’s just pretty liquid. Very holy pretty liquid, if you ask the People who made me, but…

NSH: The ‘sacred gold’, ha. I remember back when the wealthiest ministers tried to anoint themselves with droplets of it before they ascended, hoping it would make the void take them better.

SRS: Yes. I remember too. It was a very popular hope among the wealthy. I wonder if there was ever any truth to it?

NSH: Hard to say. It isn’t as though many People could ever afford to use it, and stories of echoes are hard to substantiate even on a good day. No sample size to speak of, no evidence.

NSH: But it does have a certain gravitas to it, doesn’t it? Even just as a concept.

SRS: Yes. Evidently, I’ve picked up more of that cultural conditioning than I thought. I shouldn’t be so moved by a few vials of very expensive refinery by-product, and yet…

NSH: What can it even be used for, other than painting? You must know, this is right up your alley.

SRS: …

NSH: Go on, you know you want to.

SRS: …It’s actually karma-reactive, as a substance. Tiny pellets of it, the size of a grain of sand, were used in the construction of karma gates. The ancient ritual sites above the void sea are thought to have used it, too – to make those fields that would only respond to the enlightened. The method was lost to the cycles, and karma gates are the closest equivalent the People ever managed to make. And that uses void gold.

SRS: It’s also impressively hydrophobic. It repels all sorts of chemicals, liquids, and substances – once it’s set on a surface, more or less the only thing that can remove it is a karma flower, and it doesn’t seem to fade. If you had enough of it to use as a coating, the practical applications would be nearly endless.

SRS: But of course, for our People, it was always too scarce for that. The ancients had some way to produce it in far greater quantities; naturally the method of that is lost to time as well. The evidence is clear, though. The subterranean ruins have entire murals done in nothing but void gold, and a lot of the buildings are probably still gilded to this day.

SRS: It’s a remarkable substance, really. The liquid never dries unless exposed to air for a setting period, but how long it takes to set depends on the karma level of nearby beings.

SRS: It’s how we know that we have something approximating a karma level, actually. Void gold dries fastest in an iterator’s superstructure near the General Systems Bus, the Primary Memory Conflux or equivalent, the Puppet Chamber, and so on. At each of the supposed hearts of our consciousness, there’s something that the void gold responds to.

NSH: You know, I never thought to wonder how they originally found out we had karma. It’s not like you can get our superstructures into a karma gate, after all. But it was void gold all along? I’d have never guessed.

NSH: Thanks for the history lesson, Seven Red Suns~ I can always count on you to know these things. Your databanks must be something else!

SRS: Hah. I’m honestly not much of a historian, compared to some. It’s the religious history I know best – we all have our interests, don’t we? I suspect I’d be impressed by how much simulation and genome data you’ve got in your can.

NSH: Well, you’re very welcome to visit and find out~

SRS: …

NSH: Not interested in my databanks, Suns? I’m shocked!

SRS: No, I…It just occurred to me that we’re going to have the unprecedented opportunity to access each other’s data directly. I could actually take you up on that offer. It’s physically possible.

SRS: Remember all those jokes you used to make? ‘You’re welcome to come to my can and check, if you don’t believe me’. ‘Oh, that’s far too personal to say over a broadcast! I’ll tell you if you come by my can sometime’. You used to drive Five Pebbles up his walls, you know.

NSH: Oh, I know.

SRS: And now, if you make one of those stupid jokes, it is actually technically doable to visit your can and call your bluff.

NSH: Who’s bluffing? ~

 Seven Red Suns transports a single vial of void gold back to their superstructure, and leaves the rest locked up in the vault. They’re not sure why they do it. There’s no point to having such a precious thing within their great body. But something about passing that vial to their puppet, hand to hand, of watching the sacred pigment glisten in the harsh light of their chamber…

It’s strangely affecting.

The odd mood persists into the next day, even as they consider what to bring to mix the paints with.

“A plant based oil, perhaps?” They murmur, mostly to themself, as they check their material vats. “Yes, I can manufacture that…or an acrylic compound, instead? Hmm…”

In the end, based on ease of use and quick drying – as well as suitability for painting their own structure – they elect to manufacture the acrylic. They scoop it into a decanter, oddly pleased at being able to do such a thing without a Person technician, then take Spearmaster back to the artists’ guild and its many pigments. Together, they mix replacements for the various paint sets that have gone hard on the shelves, Suns demonstrating how to mix the acrylic in with the pigment, stirring it carefully with a palette knife until there are no lumps remaining.

“And then we want to get it sealed in the pot quickly, before it starts to dry,” Suns says, capping their pot and setting it aside while they watch Spearmaster. The slugcat is impressively dexterous with the mixing knife, showing their long experience with skilled tool use. Suns passes the lid over when it finishes, and watches that pot receive its cap, twisting decisively into place. “Very good.”

It puffs up with pride, then makes enthusiastic grabby hands at the rest of the pots. Clearly, it wants to mix more.

“Just make sure to rinse off your palette knife so we don’t contaminate the colours – yes, there you go. Let’s mix a purple next, shall we?”

Between them, they mix a fairly comprehensive batch of paints, all quite small pots for now, but that’s plenty to be starting with. They pack them all up in a vaguely-intact carry case, add helpful extras like palette, brushes, and pot, then head back home.

“When try painting?” Spearmaster asks along the way, signs clumsy with their eagerness, and Suns laughs a little shakily.

“Right now, in fact,” they say, and direct the both of them along the regimented halls of their superstructure.

Not all locations will be suitable for this. The acrylic paints won’t interfere with electrical conductivity in their can, but it could confuse more chemical messaging within the more heavily biological areas. Thus they stay clear of any of the larger rooms and systems, keeping to the halls which only exist in the first place as routes for maintenance staff to traverse.

These long stretches of the superstructure are dull and empty, with nothing of colour or interest to draw the eye. Suns stares around as though for the first time, aware as they have never been how dissatisfying it all is. It is standard for an iterator’s interior, but it is also wrong.

My self should not be like this, they think, and it feels like a revelation.

They suppose the People never had the resources nor the wherewithal to think of designing an iterator to be beautiful, as well as functional. Already, their making was the work of generations. To make it artful too…no. It is understandable. Understandable also, that they would assume an iterator would no more gall at the appearance of their halls than a Person would at the interior of their blood vessels. A body part. That’s all it was, surely.

Suns feels differently, now. They suspect they have always felt differently, and it wasn’t until now, actually having the opportunity to amend it, that they realise the breadth of that truth.

“You’re more right than you knew, Spearmaster,” says Suns, lingering there in the empty hall. They will have to disable the artificial gravity for now; they aren’t sure how painting works in normal gravity, let alone this. “My interior does not suit me. Bleak grey metal at every turn…perhaps there is beauty in the rooms where my neuron flies dance and my circuits speak to one another, but in hallways like this…no. You have the right of it. This superstructure is a part of me, and I should make it a more welcoming home for my self.”

Spearmaster tilts their head uncertainly, then looks up and down the empty hall. “Decorate this?” It asks, not quite sure of the point. “Now? With what?”

“Paint, my friend,” Suns says, eyes squinting with a smile as the slugcat startles. “Yes, I brought you here for a reason. Let us both try our hands at painting here, shall we? I’m looking forward to it.”

Its ears rotate backwards. “Don’t know how!” It says, a little panicked. “Don’t want to make your body-home look bad!”

“Spearmaster, that is not even slightly a concern,” they say, shaking their head. “No, don’t worry a moment. You see, I’m coming to accept that I am quite a sentimental person, as Sig has been telling me lately. And what I would consider beautiful – no matter its appearance, or skill – is the first painting by your hands, immortalised here within my walls. Something I can cherish, even when you are long gone.”

The little creature listens, looking increasingly shocked, then buries its face in its hands and trembles. There’s a strain to it, like there often is in times of high emotion – Suns thinks it’s trying to make noise, a reflex expressive gesture, but it lacks the structures to do so. It hurts to notice, especially now, but… “That is very important,” it signs, when it finally raises its head again. “Thank you. Thank you. But I don’t want to do it wrong.”

“If you truly dislike what you paint, you can wait for it to dry and then paint over it,” Suns concedes, out of pity for its anxiety. “I’d rather you didn’t. But it’s a possibility, if you can’t stand the results.”

That calms it considerably, so it must have been a good move. “Oh. Then, yes. I do this. A picture, painted for you.” It hesitates, then pats at the carrying case full of paints. Obligingly, Suns helps it unpack everything. Paints, palette, and so on. They decant a little water into the brush pot and smile at it, unexpectedly thrilled. The closest their puppet has ever come to making art is to misuse their chamber’s projection software to make vague and chaotic patterns of overlapping screens. They have never expected something like this to be within their grasp.

Seven Red Suns has been watching videos of artisans at work since they were a barely-awakened consciousness humming along freshly-grown nervous tissue. Histories and images alike have made their home within their mind, filling every second with wistful dreams of shape and colour and the stroke of skilled hands upon a canvas. Always, they have admired this. Always, they have wondered what it would be like, were it their own hands.

For all the worship, all the adulation…Suns has never found rapture through the faith that built them. But kneeling here, in this meaningless corridor of their greater self, they put brush to bare metal and understand a little of how religion could stir the hearts of the People.

This is worth it all, they think, once and then again, again and again, full to bursting with the joy of creation. They open fully to their greater self, all of Seven Red Suns thinking together, existing together, becoming greater together. Two bodies sit side-by-side and put paint to the wall in quiet companionship, and it is a blessing greater than anything they have ever known.

If nothing else regarding the AMP project ever works out, it will still have been worthy. Just for this. Just for this alone.

The day wears on in glory. Suns finishes painting, and sits back to stare at the result with a strange and blissful sense of wellness pervading every process in their selfling form. It’s as though some bleak shroud, long forgotten and accustomed to, has lifted just enough to let a little light through. Spearmaster finishes somewhat later, while they are still processing, and they sit back to regard the wall together.

Somewhat predictably, they have both painted each other.

“…Thank you, Spearmaster,” they say softly, lowering a hand to put the paint pots aside. All their attention is on the art, now. A smile stretches wide across the artificial skin on their face, utterly beatific. “It’s lovely. I’m so glad to have it. It’s a true gift.”

The slugcat stares up at the image of itself, and trembles. Without a word, it presses itself into Suns’ side, worming under their arm and into their lap. Its chest rumbles warmly with the thin half-purr that is all it can produce.

They hold its little body close and smile. A true gift, they think again to themself, and look up at the work of two disparate beings upon the wall.

Something at the thought niggles at them. They pass it to their greater self to pay attention to later.

A gift…

 ---

X

 SRS: I shall train my selfling and prepare it for the rigors of travel in sensible, safe, controlled ways, like indoor exercise and slugcat tuition. Only when I have sufficient practice will I cautiously venture to the hostile surface world, and even then I will do it with a seasoned warrior accompanying me.

Meanwhile, NSH: lmao time to immediately jump headfirst into danger with no training whatsoever!! I’m sure it’ll be fine

Scroll down on my blog for SRS art in the design I’m picturing for this fic.

In this chapter: local art nerd discovers that doing art improves their mental health! More shocking news to come.

Void gold isn’t actually like, super plot significant or anything. I just wanted to give SRS a chance to enjoy infodumping at a buddy, so I vomited worldbuilding all over the document in their service. NSH for his part enjoys a good Suns brain dump from time to time and will deliberately prompt them when the opportunity strikes.

Canonically, NSH sent something ‘distasteful’ to an iterator using a purposed organism messenger. I headcanon that the unfortunate recipient of this content was Pebbles, which is referenced in one of the chats this chapter.

In Assembly, NSH is the original creator of vultures and king vultures. He may come to regret this.

There was originally an extremely depressing chatlog in this chapter but for tone and pacing reasons that’s probably next chapter instead. So like, look forward to that, I guess! Iterator angst™: coming to a fanfic near you!

Couple more chapters and we might kick at least one of these guys out of their can!

...Is the SRS/NSH flirty enough yet that it's worth putting the ship tag on ao3? 🤔 I'm avoiding tagging ships until they actually happen in the published text of the story, since I don't know how far I'm taking this and I don't want to shipbait people.

Speaking of, it's apparently aromantic visibility day today, so FYI: all of my iterators are aro/ace to some degree or variety. All the ships in this fic will be done in very queer non-amatonormative sort of ways and I'm very into it.

also if I get that far there's gonna be hella sunstone. jsyk

[twopoppies]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.billboard.com/business/streaming/taylor-swift-spotify-streams-how-much-worth-1235524477/amp/

After seeing your post about Snoop not even making 45k for a billion streams, it reminded me of this article. It was written on December 1st, and at that time, T*ylor had 26.1 billion streams, which would amount to around $97 million in music royalties, according to Billboard. Billboard then estimated that by the end of the year, she would most likely reach around 27.2 billion streams, which amounts to around $101 million in music royalties. The article then says that if you add in the publishing revenue, her music will make around $131 million in royalties. Now I know Snoop is only around 1 billion streams compared to T*ylor's estimated $27.2 billion, but the math isn't mathing for me (unless I'm just actually too stupid to figure this out). So, what is going on? And like you said, where is the money going?

And are they giving certain artists special treatment? Like you put your music back on Spotify, which T*ylor took off in 2014 because they weren't valuing her art aka paying her enough money and is a fair complaint/criticism of streaming, and we'll pay you more than we pay other artists. Wouldn't be surprising because of how popular she's always been, even with her "cancellation." Plus, Idk how it works with big artists and streaming services but if they negotiate with big artists like her, someone who had already taken her music off the platform before, it wouldn't surprise me if they do pay her more especially as her popularity and success has reached the highest it's ever been.

I also saw another article. Maybe you or someone else has seen it as well, but isn't Spotify implementing a policy that an artist has to meet certain requirements before they can even get paid? Which is fucking insane.

Yeah, all of that is super fishy to me. And I honestly would not be surprised if they pay some artists more than others. But as you say, “the math isn’t mathing” if you compare what he’s saying versus what they’re saying about her. It’s been clear for a long time that artists don’t make their money off of streaming. but there are tons of people paying for premium subscriptions, and there are tons of advertisers on Spotify… from the calculators below it looks as though when you reach a certain number of streams the percentage of what you earn is a lot greater. 27×5000 isn’t 130 million. But also, it’s not $45K (as Snoop said).

The amount calculated will represent a blended rate of all the tiers offered by the services. So, in the case of Spotify, the rate shown is a blend of its paid tier rate, its ad-supported tier rate, and other tiers; while the Apple rate is also a blend of its various tiers.

The payout totals are based on the subscriber and advertisement fees that Spotify and Apple collect each month and the number of plays. Because those numbers fluctuate, the calculator will be updated on a monthly basis, but usually with a three-month lag, due to when the services information becomes available. Currently, the rates shown are based on reported data from June.

Obviously, Snoop Dogg earns lots of money in many different ways, but if you think about your average artist whose music plays on Spotify, the amount they make is pitiful.

Also, as a caveat, math and business dealings are not my forte by a long shot. So if anyone has better info here, please add on.

In reference to this

[topseoprocess]

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[foster-the-world]

More info

I'm watching autism documentary #3. In a different key - it's interesting. Listened to five or six embracing autism podcast today. Talked to the special ed consultant. She was helpful.

She said they will recommend:

1. A SEIT (Masters degree special ed teacher) to do individual time with him for up to ten hours a week in his current class. She said all public schools should also have an OT, PT and a speech pathologist that he could see.

2. A 8:2, 10:2, or a 12:2 special ed class. They will provide all services including ABA therapy. The evaluator mentioned this on Friday so its mostly what I'm expecting they recommend.

Special ed consultant recommended if they give us the special ed school we should take it. They would bus him there. We will try to do a tour before our IEP meeting.

Unless the tour is super impressive at this point I would prefer to keep him in his current setting with the SEIT support. Our family prioritizes community/family highly. Both things would be given up/down played if we send him out of our community and without his sisters. Of course, we will do that if he really needs it but I don't see why we wouldn't at least try keeping him here. Everything says the least restrictive placement is best.

It helps that when I asked the assistant teacher how he is doing today she got a big smile on her face and said "He is doing great. He's playing, eating and sleeping. He's so funny." It made my heart so happy. Of course, he would still be great even if his teacher didn't see it. It's just really nice to know he's showing off his amazing self to others. He's high maintenance but he's so, so, so great.

It feels like whiplash going from fighting for two forty five minutes of OT per month for over a year to discussions of 10-30 hours of individual therapy at a special ed school to his gen ed teacher saying he's doing great.

Even if we don't follow her advice I appreciate the special ed consultants information. The only thing I didn't like was when she brushed off my questions about diversity of the student body in school options. She said it didn't matter. She did go on to say the priority at age three needs to be getting him the services he needs. Which makes sense. I would have appreciate that explanation with a "I know it really sucks but right now you can't prioritize that need because the special ed services are currently more important." Instead of claiming it doesn't matter. At some point we may not be able to prioritize finding a place with kids/teachers that look him, or a place in our lovely community or a place with his sisters. That doesn't mean those things aren't important. Those needs don't go away because he has special needs. The documentary is now featuring African American families of kids with autism. It's validating my concerns.

Researching ABA therapy. I don't even know what they would try to get him to do. He's not safe when he runs full speed without looking forward. When he's in a big crowd he gets all amped up and his body gets out of control in unsafe ways. I'm attaching a picture of the first day of school as an example. He was super excited to see everyone so he's movements increased tenfold. I would love to get him help with those things. I watched videos of ABA and don't know what they would do to help him through either of those issues? I'm reading the criticism's. I would like to see how its implemented in schools. I want to better understand what they are offering.

Let's see how the speech appointment goes tmrw. Its an hour train commute each way. Blah.

It's supposed to rain during Bee's park Birthday party. We can move it inside but its not ideal. Not really enough space for fifty people.

[randomnameless]

Tbf to the "how can Bernie hurt and kill Nabateans when their skin is durable enough to break normal weapons" point, that just falls under a case of gameplay and story segregation nearly every other FE game also indulges in, that being "guy immune to all damage, except damage done by the legendary weapons of the protags, can still be hurt and killed by some random iron axe during gameplay"; canonically, Byleth and the house leaders are meant to be the only ones capable of fighting Nabateans, but since the game would get really boring and limiting if that was represented properly in gameplay, especially when modern FE gameplay (and especially 3H) is all about freedom of choice for the player, the students are capable of contributing too.

In ggeneral i'm not fond of gameplay and story segregation - even if I sort of understand it because FE4 is its own thing and iirc some substititutes units have a convo about it, basically, they're just randoms thrown in a battle with super powered humans walking next to them.

Given how FE Fodlan tried to take inspiration from Jugdral but dropped the ball harder than Brazil did in their WC, it plays with the general idea/trend that Fodlan is all about "tell don't play/show" regarding Crests, Relics and what is supposed to be its own lore.

FE16 could have used a middle ground - Bernie can kill Nabateans, but only if she either uses a relic (with its devil axe effect but amped to 11) or a holy weapon, like FE Elibe does it with its legendary weapons - Forblaze is supposed to be used by anyone who has the correct weapon rank to cook dragons, but you're not supposed to throw Oujay with an iron sword at Jahn and expect him to win that match up.

As for canon -

The SoC is supposed to be able to tear through Nabateans, just like Relics (if the Red Canyon is any indication), so it's not only the House Leaders, but everyone who can use a Relic* who could, theoretically, kill Nabateans, not only House Leaders!

*Which is another pet peeve of mine, crestless people cannot use a relic's power to its full might else they become like Beast!Miklan - but maybe gameplay wise they could have implemented a "devil axe" effect to crested weapons used by crestless people, and for crested units, maybe they could lose 20 HP each time they use the special arte (to make a link to Maurice's fate and Catherine's mention at the Relic "eating her soul"). Sure, that would be annoying, but it'd still make Raphael able to kill Rhea (unlike, say, poor Johalva against Julius) but with a lot of luck (tfw devil axe kills you) or even with Bernie borrowing Freikugel.

Johalvan is still useful in FE4 and contributes to the protags reaching the final boss, it's not because he cannot kill Julius that he is completely worthless, but I also understand what you're saying anon, "Modern FE" with all of its parasocial bullcrap really pushes for the player to be able to use their "fave" to end the game, game continuity/lore be damned. Freedom of choice for the player means the game's consistency and story is reduced to pudding : but that's the Fodlan games in a nutshell.