#How to hire a graphic designer
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Bro I just checked in on ensekai with my sibling how are y'all living like this
#rat rambles#everything is so fucking ugly hire a graphic designer Im begging y'all#like legitimately this is why I can never give ensekai a proper chance for a second account because its just so plastic feeling to me#especially with all the event titles they're just so lifeless and effortless#like this isnt even just lol they dont know how to translate these things this is theyre legit not even trying#its so barren and devoid of emotion and I hate it
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*screams in terror* I have been moved to HR.
#omi.rambles#WHAT DOES GRAPHIC DESIGN HAVE TO DO WITH HUMAN RESOURCES#I DO NOT WANT THAT#WHAT QUALIFICATIONS DO I HAVE TO SEE WHO GETS HIRED? want me to#idk? hire based on how well designed is their curriculum vitae?#MF makes no sense#I will consult tomorrow
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has every photographer in kpop forgotten what good lighting is or is it just my ults' luck :'(
#shrimp thoughts#and graphic design. the deukae covers are absolutely atrocious but everyone's over the moon about them. am i going crazy#well. the gh albums are confusing as well because they're such an outlier for atz. they always had bold lettering going on but this is#strangely elegant and minimalistic... do kq and dcc just... not hire people to oversee how the ENTIRETY of their discography looks like?#i guess not since bts's albums are also all over the place. loona was an outlier. it's so dumb
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i think meetings should be over forever and also i don't want to do graphic design anymore
#graphic design isn't my passion you guys i don't really like doing it and i don't think i do a particularly good job at it#but how do you say that to someone when you're in a meeting and they're hiring you for graphic design on a tight deadline#and you tried to send them to a production house by people u know because they'd do a better job but it doesn't work#anyways boo hoo i'm getting hired for a job poor me right like what an asshole move#bwewwwhwhhwhwhwhw
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Portfolio advice, from a lead who hires Concept Artists
(This was originally a twitter thread I wrote before the site self imolated, hense it's strange structure.) I wrote this after a weekend of portfolio reviews - 1. Like a maths exam, please please show your working. I want to see thumbs options, mid options and of course a final design.
2. Arrange your portfolio, I don't want to bounce about between subject matter and pipeline. Your portfolio's narrative should be as strong as your work... 3. Please make worlds that excite the viewer, make them want to go in and explore them, explain to them the interesting parts of the town, or the way the character's hat unfolds. How will this draw the viewer in? 4. As I've said before the majority of your project work is explanatory not mood, make sure your portfolio contains explanatory work. Explained here -
5. A lot of beautiful post apocolyptic paintings, , but 80% of realistic games and film, we just give the environment artists photo ref, they are capable artists in their own right. Different work in stylised where you do need to create rules for how things can be translated. 6. Production art contains call out sheets, material references and flat graphics. This doesn't have to be your final image, but it should support it.
7. Design characters on a swatch(es) of the environment they will be viewed in. Not on white. I make swatch backgrounds from screenshots, it avoids assumptions that damage readability. 8. Reverse of this, put people in your environments, show me the scale.
9. It's not a deal breaker for a review, but if you intend to get a job, please show me your work on a screen larger than a smartphone (print outs probably the cheapest option with the best battery life). 10. Please have your contact details clearly visible, and by that I mean email address, I will not pass your social media contact on, I cannot input your form into my tracking system. EMAIL ADDRESS emblazoned and bake it in, sometimes recruiters do funky stuff to pdfs
11. Your portfolio will never feel done, not to you anyway. You will have learnt from your latest pieces and want to apply it to older work. But we know art is a journey. Send your portfolio anyway. I've been in the industry 10+ years and my portfolio is still not 'finished'. 12. If you are applying to an environment centric Concept Art position then please vary your times of day! Golden hour is cool but show me some happy sunny days, looming overcast days, what about at night? Vary your weather too! Sunny snowy day? Rainy Spring day? Stormy night?
13. If you are applying for a character centric Concept Art role then please ensure your portfolio shows a variety of body types and ethnicities. 14. Designing characters for games? Please show back views and feet (!) Many potfolios contain only front views. This is a problem because:
You haven't shown you are considering the design from all angles.
In many games rear view is the main view.
Stop cropping feet.
15. If you are entry / graduating and looking at Portfolios to compare content and standard of yr own work too, look at hired grad/junior artists as opposed to seniors Seniors and leads often have old or personal work in their portfolio which isnt representative of the day job. 16a. Show clearly the intended use case for your Concept Art. Mention the game type in the description. Are these player character designs for a 3rd person adventure game? Then more back views please. Bonus points for diagetic ways of showing health / equipment / role etc.
16b. Are these designs for an FPS? Then really the player view of the gun needs to sell the player style/ choices, in an FPS your weapons are almost your character. Are these world designs? What's the view distance? For an RTS your shapes need to read from above & a distance. 16c. The lack of clarification means I am judging the design in isolation, which both harms the design (you might be considering the backview of a char as the main adventure character.) Or an NPC, their waist up expressions may be important for conveying exposition and mechanics.
16d. Concept art is not separate from gameplay, great concept art serves the game team before it is a good illustration.
17. Play games. A variety of games. Think about them. IMO to be a good concept artist you need to understand the common language & references used by your peers. Also understand the principles and common language your audience are used to. FPS design rules are v.diff from RTS.
18. There are many skills that are needed in concept art, please show them. For example: Graphic design - logos, liveries, typographic use etc. VFX concepts - Abilities, Ambience, motion concepts. Architectural knowledge - How buildings are built! & more but I'm out of space :O
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Threes a Formula
Word count: 3.7k
Summary: Y/n Müller, a Media Design graduate from Stuttgart, accepts a live-in nanny position with the prestigious Wolff family in Monaco. She moves to care for their young son, Jack, and quickly adapts to the fast-paced lifestyle of the Formula One world.
Pairing: Toto Wolff x Susie Wolff x Nanny!reader
Masterlist
Warnings: fluff in the beginning. Later; 18+, cursing, age gap relationship, smut, Daddy kink, Mommy kink.
Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5
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Chapter 1: Welcome to the Wolffs
Y/n Müller had always been driven by a deep sense of creativity and a desire to make a meaningful impact on the lives of others. Growing up in a bilingual household in Stuttgart, she had developed a passion for languages and cultures, seamlessly switching between German and English. This dual heritage had given her a unique perspective and a love for connecting with people from diverse backgrounds.
When it came time to choose a field of study, Y/n followed her heart and enrolled in a Bachelor of Arts program, majoring in Media Design. She was drawn to the world of visual storytelling, believing that design could shape perceptions and inspire change. Her coursework was rigorous, covering everything from graphic design to video production, but Y/n thrived in the academic environment.
However, as graduation approached, Y/n found herself at a crossroads. While she loved the theoretical aspects of her studies, she longed for a more hands-on role where she could apply her knowledge in real-life situations. She had worked part-time as a nanny throughout her university years, discovering a natural talent for engaging with children and creating enriching experiences for them.
One evening, while scrolling through job postings, Y/n stumbled upon an advertisement that caught her eye:
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WE ARE HIRING
a live-in nanny position for a family in Monaco. bilingual background (German and English)
Job description: A high-profile family deeply embedded in motorsports is looking for a bilingual nanny who can travel with them fully and adjust to a dynamic lifestyle.
Required skills: Background in early childhood care.
Job Location: Monaco (base)
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It didn't say who that family was, but since she was a new motorsports fan, she had recently started watching "Drive to Survive" on Netflix, it only had 2 Seasons and she just started on episode 3 of season 1. All that she knew about motorsports she got from Drive to Survive but there are so many different categories, not only Formula 1. So she decided she may not know who they were anyway.
But that docuseries had piqued her interest, offering a glimpse into the thrilling and often dramatic world of F1 racing, full of fascinating stories, personalities, and grown men that could be so petty and childish sometimes. Between the drama and the drivers, she felt like watching an episode of "The Real Housewives" shows. Not to forget the lifestyle that comes with motorsports.
She felt an instant connection with the Mercedes team, even though they were hardly spoken about in the first season, since she was born in Stuttgart and everyone knows how interconnected that city is with the brand.
That's why her heart raced so fast as she read the listing. It seemed too good to be true! The chances that I really was anything remotely connected with the Show was slim but she still had a good feeling about it.
It also was just a chance to combine her creative background, passion for nurturing children, and newfound love for motorsports while experiencing life in an entirely new and glamorous setting, knowing that the family had wealth seeing as they live in Monaco.
The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like the perfect opportunity. All those factors drove her to apply for the job.
Working for that prominent family would allow her to make a significant impact on a kid's life, providing him or her as nanny a stable and loving presence amidst their busy lives.
The role also offered her professional and personal growth, which a traditional design job might not provide. At least not in that capacity.
And the opportunity to travel with the family in their fast-paced world and manage the challenges of a high-profile household would push her out of her comfort zone and help her develop a diverse skill set.
Plus, the exciting idea of living in Monaco, a city known for its beauty and sophistication, was too tempting to pass up.
She could immerse herself in a new culture, build a global network, and create unforgettable memories. Her twenties were here so she could explore herself and the world so what better way than to travel and make friends.
She could always go back to her design background if she was getting tired of childcare. With her, you would never know.
Being highly interested in the job opening Y/n sent out her resume and a cover letter. Still not knowing who the family is. But she really didn't care who those people were as long as they were nice.
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I am writing to express my interest in the nanny position for your family. With a strong background in Media Design and over five years of experience in childcare, I am confident in my ability to provide a nurturing and enriching environment for your child. My bilingual skills and creative approach to education make me uniquely suited to support your family’s needs.
My experience includes designing engaging, educational activities that support children’s cognitive and emotional development. I am adept at managing busy schedules, coordinating travel, and maintaining the highest standards of discretion and professionalism. I believe my dedication and adaptability align well with the high standards you seek in a nanny.
I was born in Stuttgart, Germany, to a German mother and an American father, which afforded me the advantage of being raised bilingual in German and English. This multicultural background has not only enhanced my communication skills but also instilled in me a deep appreciation for diverse cultures. I am passionate about traveling and eager to learn from new environments, which I believe will enrich my role as a nanny.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to the opportunity to discuss how I can contribute to your family’s well-being.
Kind regards,
Y/n Müller
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When Y/n sent off her application, she felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. She had poured her heart into the cover letter, hoping her passion and experience would shine through. The following days were a whirlwind of emotions and activities as she waited for a response.
During those two weeks, Y/n kept herself busy to manage the anticipation. She continued her part-time nanny job, investing extra effort into creating engaging activities for the children she looked after. She also worked on freelance design projects, hoping to bolster her portfolio in case she needed to pivot back to her design career.
Y/n spent time with friends and family, sharing her hopes about the potential job in Monaco. They encouraged her, but the waiting was still nerve-wracking. Every time her phone buzzed, her heart raced, thinking it might be an email from the Wolff family.
To prepare herself for a possible interview, Y/n researched more about Monaco and the world of motorsports. She watched documentaries, read articles, and familiarized herself with the different sports leagues and key figures, hoping to impress the family with her knowledge if given the chance.
When the invitation for a video interview finally arrived, Y/n was both nervous and hopeful. The email's subject line made her heart skip a beat. She quickly opened it and read through the details, feeling a surge of excitement. She was thrilled to finally meet the family and get to know them, but also anxious about making a good impression.
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Dear Y/n,
We hope this email finds you well. Thank you for your interest in the nanny position with our family. We were delighted to receive your application and are impressed by your qualifications and enthusiasm.
Allow us to introduce ourselves. We are Toto and Susie Wolff, deeply involved in the world of motorsport. Toto serves as the Team Principal and CEO of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team, while Susie is a former racing driver and currently the CEO of ROKiT Venturi Racing in Formula E. Our careers require a significant amount of travel and flexibility, which is why we are seeking a reliable, creative, and adaptable nanny to assist in caring for our son, Jack.
Jack is a lively and curious three-year-old who loves exploring new things and learning through play. We are seeking someone who can not only care for him but also foster his love for learning and creativity. Your background in Media Design caught our attention, as we believe your creative skills can help make Jack’s experiences both fun and educational. Your bilingual ability is also a big plus, knowing you can speak both English and German with him.
We have scheduled a video interview with you to further discuss this opportunity. The interview will take place on January 12th at 3 PM. You can join the call using the following link: [Video Call Link].
During the interview, we would like to discuss your experience, your approach to childcare, and how you envision supporting Jack’s development. Additionally, we welcome any questions you may have about our family and Jack’s routine.
We hope you are as excited about this opportunity as we are about the prospect of having you join our family. Please let us know if you have any questions or need further information before the interview.
We look forward to speaking with you soon.
Warm regards,
Toto and Susie Wolff
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When Y/n received the email, her eyes widened in surprise and excitement as she read through it. She had been anxiously awaiting a response, but she never imagined that the family she had applied to work for was as prestigious as the Wolffs. She quickly reread the introduction, her heart racing.
"Wow," she whispered to herself. "Toto and Susie Wolff? This is incredible."
The significance of the opportunity began to sink in. Toto Wolff, the Team Principal and CEO of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team, and Susie Wolff, a former racing driver and the CEO of ROKiT Venturi Racing in Formula E, were offering her a chance to be part of their world. She felt a mixture of awe and determination.
Y/n couldn't help but smile as she thought about little Jack, imagining the lively and curious three-year-old they described. She was thrilled that her background in Media Design had caught their attention and that they saw the potential for her creative skills to enrich Jack’s experiences. Knowing they appreciated her bilingual ability gave her an added boost of confidence.
"January 12th at 3 PM," she murmured, making a mental note of the interview date and time. She clicked the video call link to ensure it worked, not wanting to leave anything to chance.
Her mind buzzed with a hundred thoughts at once. She needed to prepare thoroughly for the interview, making sure she could articulate her experience and vision for supporting Jack's development. She also wanted to prepare insightful questions to show her genuine interest in their family and lifestyle.
Y/n felt a surge of excitement mixed with a hint of nerves. This opportunity was bigger than she had anticipated, but she was determined to make the most of it. She took a deep breath, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over her.
"This is it," she thought. "This could be the start of something truly amazing."
She immediately set to work, planning her preparations for the interview. She wanted to be ready to impress Toto and Susie Wolff, knowing that this was a chance to combine her passions for childcare, creativity, and cultural exploration in an extraordinary way.
The night before the interview, Y/n rehearsed her answers to potential questions and prepared thoughtful questions of her own. She set up her laptop in her parents' house in Stuttgart, double-checked her internet connection, and ensured her surroundings were neat and professional. If this interview didn’t work out, she reminded herself, she could always fall back on her design background. But deep down, she knew how much she wanted this opportunity.
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She took a deep breath and clicked the link to join the video call.
The screen flickered, and soon she found herself face-to-face with Toto and Susie Wolff. Y/n had done a quick search on them prior to the interview, discovering their significant influence in the motorsports world, but she still didn’t know the full extent of their prominence.
“Hello, Y/n. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Susie said with a warm smile.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Wolff. Thank you for this opportunity. Es freut mich sehr, dass wir die Möglichkeit haben, so miteinander zu kommunizieren (I am very pleased that we have the opportunity to communicate with each other like this),” Y/n replied, trying to keep her nerves in check.
“Please, call us Toto and Susie,” Toto said, his tone friendly and welcoming. “We’ve read through your application and were very impressed. Why don’t you tell us a bit more about yourself?”
Y/n began to explain her background in Media Design, her passion for working with children, and how she believed her creative skills would be beneficial in engaging and educating their son, Jack. She also mentioned her bilingual abilities and her experience growing up in Stuttgart.
Susie nodded thoughtfully. “We think your background is quite unique and would bring a fresh perspective to Jack’s upbringing. How do you feel about traveling frequently and adapting to different environments?”
“I’m very excited about the opportunity to travel,” Y/n said. “I think it would be an amazing experience for both Jack and me. I’m adaptable and eager to learn about new cultures and environments. Traveling has always been a passion of mine, although I haven’t had the opportunity to see and learn as much as I would like to until now.”
Toto leaned forward slightly. “One thing to consider is the nature of our lifestyle. It can be fast-paced and demanding. How comfortable are you with managing stress and maintaining flexibility?”
“I’m confident in my ability to handle stress and stay organized,” Y/n replied. “My studies and previous nanny jobs have taught me how to manage my time effectively and stay calm under pressure. Zudem möchte ich auch nochmal anführen, dass ich eben deutsch bin. Es liegt mir also eigentlich im Blut immer pünktlich zu sein und mein Leben gut zu managen. (I would also like to mention again that I am German. So it's actually in my blood to always be punctual and to manage my life well.)”
The last part was meant as a joke, but Toto and Susie knew she fully meant it.
Y/N paused before she asked a question she was eager to get an answer to. “I am very sorry to tell you I don’t really know about your work background and I was not comfortable googling the both of you so if you don’t mind what exactly do you do? Also, you spoke about traveling how often would that be and when would you like to have Jack with you guys?” It was a long question but she was confident they would answer her fully.
Susie and Toto exchanged a quick glance, their smiles warm and understanding. They appreciated her directness and respect for their privacy.
Susie spoke first, her tone friendly. "No worries at all, Y/n. I’m a former racing driver and currently the CEO of ROKiT Venturi Racing in Formula E. My role involves overseeing the team’s operations, strategy, and ensuring we’re competitive in the championship. It’s a dynamic and demanding job, but one I’m very passionate about."
Toto nodded, adding with a hint of enthusiasm, "And I’m the team principal and CEO of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team. It’s an intense job, managing the team and ensuring we perform at our best during the racing season. So, as you can imagine, our schedules can be quite demanding and involve a fair bit of travel."
Susie continued, "Regarding travel, we do move around quite a bit, especially during the racing season, which runs from March to December. There are races almost every other week, and they happen all over the world. We'd love to have Jack with us during these travels, but it depends on the location and the duration of our stay."
Toto chimed in, "Ideally, we'd like him to join us for the major races and during the summer break when the schedule is a bit lighter. It's important to us that he experiences different cultures and environments, but we also want to ensure he has stability in his education and routine. We’re looking for someone who can help maintain that balance for him."
Susie nodded, "Exactly. We want Jack to feel secure and supported, no matter where we are. Your role would be crucial in providing that stability while also making the experience enjoyable and enriching for him."
Y/n listened carefully, nodding as Susie and Toto explained their busy schedules and travel needs. When they finished, she smiled confidently, ready to reassure them of her capabilities.
"Thank you both for sharing that with me. Your careers sound incredibly exciting and demanding, and I can see how important it is to you that Jack has stability amidst all the travel."
She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "I have extensive experience working with children in various environments, including situations where parents have high-profile, busy careers. I understand the importance of creating a stable, nurturing environment for Jack, no matter where we are. I am skilled at maintaining routines and providing the educational support he needs to thrive."
Y/n continued, her voice steady and reassuring. "I’m very adaptable and have handled travel with families before. I’m organized and proactive, ensuring that everything Jack needs is prepared and that he feels secure and happy in each new location. I also love finding creative ways to make travel educational and fun for children, turning each new place into a learning opportunity."
She smiled warmly, looking between Susie and Toto. "I’m confident that I can provide the balance you’re looking for—supporting Jack’s growth and education while also making sure he enjoys the unique experiences your lifestyle offers. I’m excited about the possibility of being a part of your family and contributing to Jack’s development in such a dynamic and enriching environment. That of course is if you would have me.” She smiles at them.
After a few more questions about her approach to childcare and her thoughts on integrating educational activities with play, the interview began to wrap up.
“We’re very impressed with you, Y/n,” Susie said, glancing at Toto, who nodded in agreement. “We think you’d be a wonderful fit for our family.”
Y/n’s heart soared. “Thank you so much. I’m really excited about the possibility of working with you and getting to know Jack.”
“We’ll be in touch soon with more details,” Toto said, smiling. “Thank you for your time today.”
As the call ended, Y/n felt a rush of exhilaration. The interview had gone better than she could have imagined, and she felt a sense of validation in her choices and aspirations. The Wolff family represented a new path, one filled with opportunities for growth, adventure, and meaningful connections.
Two days later, Y/n received another email from the Wolffs.
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Dear Y/n,
We are thrilled to inform you that after careful consideration, we would like to offer you the position of nanny for our son, Jack. We believe that your skills, experience, and personality make you the perfect fit for our family, and we are excited about the prospect of having you join us.
As mentioned during the interview process, we would like to start with a trial period to ensure that there is a good connection between all of us. Therefore, we propose a trial run of three months, during which we can assess how well we work together and whether this arrangement meets everyone's needs.
We are genuinely excited to welcome you into the Wolff family. We believe that your background in Media Design, your bilingual abilities, and your passion for childcare will make a positive impact on Jack's life and development. We are confident that you will create a nurturing and stimulating environment for him, allowing him to thrive and grow.
Regarding logistics, we understand that relocating to Monaco is a significant step, and we want to make the transition as smooth as possible for you. If you are able to join us by the 1st of February, it would give us ample time to settle in and get acquainted before the busy racing season begins.
Please let us know if you have any questions or concerns. We are here to support you and ensure that you have all the information you need.
Once again, congratulations, Y/n. We are looking forward to embarking on this exciting journey together.
Warm regards,
Toto and Susie Wolff
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As Y/n sat amidst the flurry of emotions, her mind drifted to the impressions she had formed of Toto and Susie Wolff during the interview process. Toto, with his focused demeanor and stern yet approachable presence, exuded a sense of determination and drive that commanded respect. She couldn't help but admire his unwavering commitment to excellence, balanced by an underlying charm that shone through in the occasional dad joke or lighthearted quip.
In contrast, Susie embodied elegance and grace in every aspect of her being. Y/n admired the way Susie carried herself with poise and sophistication, radiating warmth and sincerity in her interactions. Behind her poised exterior, Y/n sensed a deep well of motivation, care, and love for others, driven by her passion for making a positive impact in the world.
As Y/n pondered these thoughts, she felt a sense of gratitude wash over her. To be welcomed into the lives of such remarkable individuals, to work alongside them in nurturing and shaping the life of their son, Jack, was an honor beyond measure. She knew that under their guidance and with their support, she would not only thrive but also contribute to creating a loving and enriching environment for Jack to grow and flourish.
With a renewed sense of purpose and excitement, Y/n turned her attention back to the task at hand—preparing for the journey ahead. As she packed her belongings, her heart swelled with anticipation for the adventures that awaited her in Monaco, where she would embark on a new chapter of her life filled with love, laughter, and endless possibilities.
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@pand-de-pandora-blog @wonderwolffs @laura-naruto-fan1998 @strangegirl974 @totothewolff
#fanfiction#reader insert#fanfic#f1#f1 x reader#susie wolff#susien wolff x reader#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#torger christian wolff#totowolff
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Sophie foster outfits part 1/?
(click for quality)
It’s been bugging me for a while that the dress sophie wears when they go to Atlantis in book one is supposed to be red and yet in the graphic novel it’s blue. Idk why I’m so hung up about that one tiny detail lol, but I decided to draw a more book accurate version because why not. And then I ended up deciding to draw all of her outfits in the order she wears them because I’m insane. We’ll see how long I commit to this. Anyway, im going to ramble about my thought process now:
I couldn’t find a description of the first outfit she wears so I just skipped it lol
I really like how in the graphic novel Sophie wore a long sleeve undershirt, but I switched it so that the one on top has stripes because I like it better this way.
The middle dress is described to have an empire waist and a beaded neckline. I looked up empire waist bc I know virtually nothing about dresses and what came up was a lot of Bridgerton-esque dresses, so that’s the vibe I ended up going with.
I went through at least three different designs for the purple one before I remembered that the illustrated edition exists, so the end result is heavily inspired by the design on pg. 152 of the illustrated edition. Which I will most likely continue to draw inspiration from because I love those illustrations so much. Tbh I wish the illustrator had been hired to do the graphic novel but alas…
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SMT Boardgame Kickstarter Smells Like Suspicious Fish
There's an SMT boardgame. Curb your enthusiasm, you shouldn't back it. And if you did, lower your pledge to like a buck until they clear things up, because as it stands it seems like an incredibly suspect product.
Checking through the Kickstarter comments and Japanese Tweets about the boardgame makes the entire thing seem poorly planned at best. I'll summarize as best I can;
The designer is incredibly infamous in the boardgame community
Naoki Matsunaga, a self-described "board game sommelier", is the designer. You'll find tweets lamenting that "the board game sommelier is involved". Why is he so hated? This thread goes into detail: co_boze on twitter. Part of it is they bashed Werewolf over one game they saw of it, another is they took on a kind of public-face role for boardgames appearing on late night TV shows to talk about them in ways that annoyed boardgamers. They seem to have designed a boardgame based on "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which ripped off Sid Sackson's 'I'm the Boss". But it's what co_boze talks about next that's really bizarre. The game was apparently banned from most board game cafes and playing spaces. Seminars where people could play the game were hosted, but the venues that hosted these seminars all closed down.
If you keep looking through comments, you start finding claims that his company does multi-level marketing (ie pyramid schemes). To be honest, I don't know if this is true. But even if it isn't, it is really not hard to find people who know of this guy and would really really really REALLY prefer he was not involved.
"Oh fuck, it's THIS guy" is not a reaction that inspires confidence
2. Questionable development and presentation issues.
A regular collaborator with Atlus recently tweeted "The use of AI in Atlus works or derivative works is stictly prohibited." He responded to a reply asking if this was about a board game.
The staff running the SMT BG Kickstarter later clarified the actual -game- wouldn't use AI graphics... but from the looks of it, the promotional materials do.
Dig that... generic metal pipe aesthetic. Nothing screams MegaTen like black plumbing to nowhere.
In totally unrelated news, a board game manufacturer recently tweeted that a Kickstarter used their name without permission, and they're not sure why.
Quote tweets on the post would suggest it was the SMT board game. The comment they are loosely referring to is this:
In a follow-up post, they do specify "The product figures will be made of PVC." and "We will be manufacturing the games in partnership with a factory in China that has a proven track record... " "Figure director Kimura Yuzuru has over 10 years of experience..." and other boring development stuff that I have no issue with. What I do have issue with is how they can say things like they're "considering" which manufacturer to use and namedropping other companies that they're unrelated with. (While I was typing this post, they posted an update that clarified the CMON issue and literally nothing else: here.)
The boardgame is being presented with machine translated English printed on the same cards as the Japanese. But the actual game will have a translator check everything.
they hire translators to localize all game content
Additionally, there was a week long radio silence on the Kickstarter. For reference, Kickstarters are normally very active with the project planners dropping updates, responding to feedback and clearing up any concerns.
Some of the concerns were "How does the game actually play?", a question that would be best answered by dropping a rulebook for people to look at, or better yet showing them an entire run of the game. The SMT BG Kickstarter has boldly chosen neither. Devs have commented the game is on Version 11 and plays well, which makes it strange that they can't share any of it with anyone else.
Actually, when you compare this to how most Kickstarters are run, it becomes very clear the SMT BG Kickstarter is, uh, kinda failing in all possible regards. The first Backer Goal is "Jack Frost Dice" at 2000 backers (not funds raised, BACKERS). Despite getting 300%(!!!) of the initial pledge needed, there are no bonuses or unlocks.
Mind, this lack of information comes after they already delayed the start to supposedly improve Backer Goals and other aspects.
There aren't a shortage of issues - it's ICREA's first boardgame (but not their first tango with SMT; they made the SMT30th Logo, for instance.) The timeline seems totally wack. The staff have been incredibly slow to respond. Cards with tiny font and two languages printed on them. Etc, etc. Maybe individually these issues wouldn't be too concerning. But all of them combined make the product seem incompetently run at best, and at worst an actual scam.
I'm hardly a big influencer in the SMT scene (my biggest contribution is when that fucking succubus gif gets 36k likes on Twitter every 5 months) but I haven't seen any English speaking sources discuss this in detail, when there really should be at least some noise about all of this. Still. if just one of you end up saving 600 bucks on what ends up being a trashfire carcrash project because of this post, then that'll have made the past 30 minutes of typing this shit worth it.
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Writing Notes: Book Cover
“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover!” We’ve all heard the phrase and we all know that’s impossible. Because the cover of a book is the first thing a potential reader sees—it should stop them in their tracks. It’s a very powerful marketing tool; having a well-designed book cover is crucial.
Tips for Making a Great Book Cover Design
Using more than two to three typefaces on a cover is discouraged, as it can look really messy.
Keep things simple. Your cover will be in a sea of other covers so try to keep your design from getting muddy and make sure it stands out.
Show your designs to people who have a design eye and/or you trust. It’s great to get feedback.
If you hire a professional designer, write a brief and send them info. Be really clear on what you want. Designers usually do a certain number of design rounds included in the agreed upon fee and any extra rounds of design will be extra.
If you hire a professional designer, they will likely have ideas about printing and may have connections to printers. They are a resource so don’t forget to ask questions.
Don’t forget: a book cover is an important part of selling any book. Whether you decide to do it yourself or collaborate with a professional, pay special attention to this part of the process, as a great cover goes a long way.
6-Step Guide: Professional Book Cover
STEP ONE Generate Ideas. Look around at book covers you like. Go to a bookshop and peruse what’s currently happening in book cover design. Take notes of what elements you like on the cover image. A certain typeface? Color? Do you prefer an image or an illustration or something purely typographic on the cover? Another option is to create a mood board. You can use a platform like Pinterest or Evernote, or create a folder on your desktop, and pull book cover inspiration from the web. While you’re gathering inspiration, keep in mind what genre your book is and what kind of book design feels appropriate.
STEP TWO Find a Designer (Who Could Be You!). Do you have design skills? If so, your next step is to begin layouts and mock-ups of the covers. You should use whatever software program you are comfortable with. Most professional book cover designers use a program from the Adobe Creative Suite:
InDesign. InDesign is a multi-page design platform but can also be used for single page design.
Photoshop. Used to manipulate and experiment with photography.
Illustrator. Illustrator is a vector-based program, which means you can create graphic art that can be scaled up or down without loss of quality.
Photoshop and Illustrator. These can also be used together as you can bring your Photoshop file into Illustrator to set the type after you have worked with your cover image.
If you don’t have design skills, now is a great time to hire a book cover designer. The first step is to figure out what kind of budget you have for this. A designer’s fee will range depending on their expertise. Get a figure in mind and then write a design brief which should include the book specs:
Size
Print-run
Intended audience
Where and how the book will be published
Anticipated publish date
You should also include a summary of what the book is about and what you are looking for in a cover. Also share the inspiration you’ve gathered with the designer.
If you don’t have design skills but want to create the cover without the help of a professional, there are a few software programs you can use, such as Canva or 100 Covers, design tools that allow you to DIY the cover (for free or a fee).
STEP THREE Decide on the Dimensions. If you’re self-publishing and printing with a local printer you can work with them to make sure your book dimensions will fit on their printer (remember a book prints front, back, and spine in one sheet of paper). It’s also a good idea to find examples of books whose size you like and feels good to hold. Use that as a jumping off point for your book.
Book Cover Dimensions List. If you are printing for a specific market, from print to ebook, here is a handy list:
Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing File Format: JPEG or TIFF Cover Size (Recommended): 2560x1600 pixels Cover Size Requirements: between 1000x625 pixels and 10,000x10,000 pixels (one side must be at least 1000)
Apple iBooks File Format: JPEG or PNG Cover Size (Recommended): 1400x1873 or 1600x2400 pixels Cover Size Requirements: at least 1400 pixels wide
Barnes & Noble File Format: JPEG or PNG Cover Size (Recommended): Rectangle height and width, at least 1400 pixels Cover Size Requirements: Min. 750 pixels height and width
Kobo Books File Format: JPEG or PNG Cover Size (Recommended): 1600x2400 pixels Cover Size Requirements: Min. 1400 pixels width
Smashwords File Format: JPEG or PNG Cover Size (Recommended): 1600x2400 pixels Cover Size Requirements: Min. 1400 pixels width Draft2Digital
File Format: JPEG Cover Size (Recommended): 1600x2400 pixels Cover Size Requirements: Tall rectangle
STEP FOUR Choose Your Style
Photo-based cover. If you’re creating an photo-based book cover, you’ll need to source stock imagery. There are lots of great resources online to find stock imagery including ShutterStock, Getty Images, and Adobe Stock. (Keep in mind: most photography archives require payment to use their images. Always investigate the copyright of images you’re interested in using.) Look for images that convey or allude to your book’s genre. You can use programs like Photoshop to manipulate your image, making it black and white instead of color or cropping it in a certain way.
Illustration-based cover. If you’re considering a more graphic approach to your cover, Illustrator is the tool to use. You can bring hand-drawn drawings into it and outline them to create scale-able, high-res illustrations which you can manipulate within the program. You can also create shapes, patterns, experiment with typography within illustrator and play with color, transparency, size and much more.
Typography-based cover. Finally, many successful book covers use typography as the main graphic device. This takes some skill and knowledge of typefaces, the historical context of a typeface, and how to manipulate it thoughtfully. That said, using type as a graphic can be very impactful.
STEP FIVE Pick a Typeface (Font). No matter what kind of cover you are designing, you are going to need the title of the book and the author’s name on the cover. As mentioned above, picking an appropriate typeface is very important. You want to pick something that feels right for your book—is it a sans serif or serif? A heavy weight or lighter weight? You want to make sure it’s not something with a lot of baggage, like Comic Sans or Papyrus. It is a good idea to actually do a little research on when, where, and who your typeface was designed by to give you context and feel out if it will be right for your book. You might also consider using up to two different typefaces, one for the title and one for your name. A serif and sans-serif mix can give a bit of contrast and visual interest. There are some typefaces that pair really well together. Check out the website TypeWolf to get ideas of what fonts pair well together.
STEP SIX Test, Tweak, and Repeat. Once you have a few versions of your cover, print them out on your home printer and take a look with a critical eye. Does the type size feel chunky? Too bold? Too small? How does your image look? Is it cropped right? Are the lines of your illustrations too thin and not showing up? Go back and refine your design and then repeat! Don’t forget to look at your book cover as a small thumbnail as well. People are on their mobile phones and you want to make sure your cover still stands out and is impactful.
Book Cover - serves as your first impression with potential readers—and though book covers don’t always look the same, they do tend to contain the same essential elements.
Design standards may be different in the world of traditional publishing than they are in self publishing, and book cover templates for physical paper books may differ from those of ebooks—but they all serve the same purpose.
Some Functions of a Book Cover
A book’s cover provides essential information. At its most elemental, a good cover includes a book’s title, the author’s name, the publisher, and the price.
A good cover offers clues about your book’s content and tone. Your cover design indicates whether your book is a work of high-minded literary fiction, a pulpy page turner, or a compelling work of non-fiction.
A front cover reveals a book’s genre. You can usually tell if you’re holding a thriller, a memoir, a sci-fi epic, or a nineteenth century classic just by looking at a book’s cover art and typography.
A back cover offers broader context. It may feature quotes from reviewers and fellow authors. Softcover books may contain a plot summary or author biography on the back; those summaries and bios are typically moved to the inner flaps of a hardcover book.
How to Hire a Professional Book Cover Designer
Book covers are marketing materials, and a well-designed professional cover can make your book stand out among the competition. If you want someone with expertise in the realm of cover design to work on your book, you may want to hire a professional book cover designer. Here are some steps to consider when hiring creatives to design your book cover:
Hire a cover artist. A cover artist produces the cover art and imagery that will appear on your book cover, either on their own or with heavy input from an author or publisher.
Hire a graphic designer. Certain graphic designers specialize in layout; they incorporate cover art that you provide them—whether that’s an original illustration, photograph, or even a stock image—into the overall design of the cover.
Find a cover designer online. Reedsy is one of a number of online resources for independent authors, self-publishers, and anyone connected to the world of books. Many professional book designers list their services on Reedsy.
Use your personal network. Seek out writers’ groups, either locally or on Facebook. In these groups, people share professional referrals and help support one another when a member has a new book in the works. A group of like-minded individuals can be an invaluable resource when creating your own book cover for the first time.
When to Call a Pro:
You have a budget (a designer’s fee will vary depending on experience and location).
You have enough time to work with the designer.
You have a clear idea of what you want or at least what you don’t want.
You don’t have any design skills.
You don’t want to invest in the design software.
Your book isn’t selling.
How to Design a Book Cover Yourself
If you don’t have the budget for a pro designer or just have a DIY itch you want to scratch, it is easier than ever to design your own book cover. While it may not be quite as rudimentary as when you covered your textbooks in a brown paper bag back in fifth grade, modern technology has made cover image design accessible to anyone with a computer. Here are some tips:
Use a template. There are numerous websites that offer book cover templates and step-by-step tutorials covering basic cover design skills. Some even have a free book cover creator tool, along with cover ideas, design tips, pre-made design templates, and digital cover image tools.
Use standard design software. Book covers can also be made using standard home computing software including Photoshop, Microsoft Word, and even (with a little sweat equity) Google Docs. This is particularly easy if you are importing a pre-made cover image from another source.
Make a prototype. The process for assembling a book is straightforward and satisfying. If you want to test out how your book will appear in print, you can learn to bind a copy yourself.
When to DIY:
You don’t have any budget for design.
You have design skills to do it yourself.
You have the design software.
You have a template and know exactly what you want.
You have people with an eye for design that can guide you.
How to Make a Hardcover Book
So you’re ready to bind your own book. Here’s what you’ll need:
Content, of course.
Uncoated printer paper for book pages
Decorative paper for endpapers, such as wrapping paper or cardstock
Davey board (aka bookbinder’s board), thin chipboard, or cardboard for the book covers
Craft knife
Polyvinyl acetate (PVA) glue such as Elmer’s glue
Hot glue gun and glue sticks
Ruler or straight edge
A long stapler
Thin fabric or book cloth for cover
Binder clips
Thick decorative paper (optional, for dust jacket)
Paper trimmer (optional, for trimming book pages)
Paintbrush (optional, for spreading glue)
There’s more than one way to bind a book, and you’ll find tons of great tutorials online for making homemade books, including Japanese bookbinding and perfect bound softcover books. The most popular style of hardcover book binding is called case binding, which is traditionally done by stitching pages together with thread. Here is how to make a hardcover book step-by-step—no sewing or special materials required:
Assemble the content. The number of pages and the type of paper you work with depends on whether you’re binding a novel, a full-color photo book, or a sketchbook. Familiarize yourself with the format by taking some hardcover books down from your bookshelf and observing how they were made.
Format your pages. If you’re creating a blank book, you can skip this step. If you’re printing a book with text, you'll need to format the text so that you can print it into a book. You can get help with this at a copy shop, or you can download book design software and print at home. Eventually, you’ll end up with a PDF with a page count. This page count has to be divisible by four so that your book can be bound as folios made up of eight sheets of paper (32 pages) each. You may need to add some blank pages at the end of the book to keep your page count correct for the folios.
Print and fold. Once all of your pages are printed, fold pages in half and stack eight within each other, making sure the pages are in the correct order. Staple the folios together in the folds, alternating the location of the staples so that you don’t end up with a bulge in the spine.
Bind your folios together. Arrange all of the folios in the correct order and flatten them between heavy books. Once your folios are flat, it’s time to glue them together. Hold the folios together with binder clips and use a glue gun to glue the folios together along the stapled edge. This will become your book’s spine. Be careful not to overdo it on the glue: Use just enough to keep the folios together. Before the glue cools, use a thin piece of fabric to cover the spine only.
Even out the pages. Carefully trim the edges of the pages with a paper trimmer or craft knife, if needed.
Make the hardcovers. Cut two pieces of cardboard for the front and back covers of your book. For the spine, cut a piece of cardboard that is the same height as the front and back covers, with a width equal to the thickness of the spine plus the front and back covers.
Attach the hardcovers. Paint the cardboard (both covers and the spine piece) with a thin layer of PVA glue and attach to the cloth you’ll use to cover your book, leaving a space between the covers and the spine equal to one and a half times the thickness of the cardboard. Let dry.
Assemble the book. Use PVA glue to attach the fabric-lined spine of your bound folios to the cardboard spine. Keep the book propped up between other books while you wait for it to dry.
Attach the endpapers. Trim the paper lining so that it’s twice the size of the first page and fold it in half. Paint glue onto the inside of the front cover and the front page, and attach paper lining. Repeat with the back cover.
Make the dust jacket. If you’d like to cover your book with a dust jacket, measure a piece of thick decorative paper as tall as your book and as wide as the entire book, plus a few extra inches to fold over the edge of the cover. Fold the dust jacket over the bound book. Lay another heavy book on top of it to help the dust jacket keep its shape. This is the place to add a cover design, if you’d like.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs
#books#book cover#writing tips#writeblr#booklr#literature#writers on tumblr#writing reference#dark academia#spilled ink#writing prompt#creative writing#bookblr#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing advice#on writing#light academia#writing resources
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a jew review of: nhl team happy hanukkah posts
good evening and chag sameach to my hanukkah-celebrating pals out there on hockeyblr. today i bring you: a non-comprehensive and entirely subjective review from one (1) jewish hockey fan of the graphics posted by various nhl teams in celebration of the first night tonight. i definitely missed some, and some teams didn't post any at all, so it's a bit patchwork. here we go.
vancouver canucks: this is an extremely serviceable graphic. love the blurred dreidels to give the effect that they are spinning. very funny. props for the detail that there is a shadow of the menorah on the ice. straightforward. icemenorah is a themeTM but some did it better than others and this is a classic. 7/10
post continues under the cut for the sake of your dash and mine.
carolina hurricanes: obsessed with what the canes have done here though i cannot comprehend it. the weird techno style textured background. the out of focus magen david around. THE HURRICANES. IN HEBREW. WITH THE LITTLE CANES LOGO THING I FORGET THE NAME OF ON THE HEI? INCREDIBLE. points for creativity. overall baffling vibes. 6/10.
pittsburgh penguins: this is just adorable. you hired someone to draw this. spectacular work, guys. it's giving a bit of 'we browsed the target hanukkah deco section for inspo' but it's too adorable for me to care. it's team themed, it's hockey themed, it's holiday appropriate. love everything going on here. they get points for doing what very few other teams are doing and remembering this is night one, so only one candle is lit. most everyone else is getting a bit a head of themselves. 9/10.
washington capitals: and here we have another edition of the icemenorah, with a minimalist twist. this graphic screams 'oh fuck wait is that tonight' which to be fair is also how i, a jew, felt about realizing tonight was the first night of hanukkah. could'a done more, but it's perfectly fine. 6/10.
new jersey devils: this fucks. it's got devils themes. it's got a cool style. it's got vibes. it's got: more hockey stick menorahs which i am always excited about. that shamash candle is a graphic design nightmare but other than that i am all on board. 8/10
vegas golden knights: i love the gold foil effect and that you remembered there was more to hanukkah than candles, that's nice, as is involving the other affiliates! however. where are the vibes. this is not the vgk wishes you a chag sameach, this is a greeting card i got on etsy. 6/10 just bc i KNOW you can do better. where's the neon, babes.
los angeles kings: oh this is fun. it's icemenorah: WITH A TWIST. the art style is cute, it's got plenty of hockey theme, it's also very obviously LA-y, i'm giving them points for this one. the shadow is insane but that's okay, it's ~stylistic. it's cute. 7/10. UPDATE: definitely AI. boo hiss. 0/10.
montréal canadiens: this is probably my favourite for sheer vibes. you got: levitating icemenorah. you got: action-shot candle lighting. you got: remembering this is night ONE. you got: the implication that the torch is the shamash candle????? you got: JOYEUSE HANOUKKA!!!!!!!! (and like happy hanukkah or whatever i guess). obsessed. it's so funny. it's amazing. 9/10.
#long post#happy hanukkah besties here is: SOME THOUGHTS#chag sameach!!!#vancouver canucks#carolina hurricanes#pittsburgh penguins#washington capitals#new jersey devils#vegas golden knights#los angeles kings#montréal canadiens
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I Wanna Be Yours - Chapter 6
Pairing: Sylus X Reader
Words: 7.1K
- - -
Tasked with infiltrating the life of Sylus, the most wanted man in the N109 zone, you're torn between what is right and feels right, blurring the line between duty and desire. As danger escalates, you must decide whether to carry out your mission or succumb to the magnetic pull of the man you're meant to destroy. In this game of power and obsession, betrayal could cost you everything.
Content warnings ⚠️
Dark Themes, Yandere! Reader and Yandere! Sylus! Power play. Violence and Gore. Smut: mutual masturbation. Stalking/surveillance. Reader slowly losing her mind. Sylus being hot and a menace. TRIGGER WARNING: stalking and dubious consent. Graphic deptictions of violence.
If you feel there’s any other warnings I need to add then please reach out and let me know!
Autumn had come, left its mark on the world, and was swiftly disappearing in Linkon. The trees stood bare, their leaves scattered and decaying on the rapidly freezing ground and the air carried the crisp threat of icy breaths and frozen nights. Tonight marked your first mission using the Hunter’s Association alias - bartending at an underground auction. How you’d managed to land the job was a mystery to you. Sure, you had some experience with mixing drinks, but not nearly enough to justify working the bar at such an exclusive event. During your “interview,” when the organisers had requested a practical demonstration, you’d clammed up and produced the most over-stirred Negroni you’d ever made. You’d apologized and hastily remade it, but even that wasn’t great. Yet somehow, you - or rather, Natalie Moore - had been hired. Natalie, a runaway, desperate and resourceful, blending in among the staff - a role designed to keep you hidden, unnoticed, and, most importantly, far from the action.
You parked the beat-up car, provided by the Hunter’s Association, and hurried to your destination. The building was as gloomy as the weather had been over the past few days, an old building that had once been quite beautiful but years of neglect had turned it into a sad husk of its former glory, but you knew better than to take its appearance at face value. You entered the building and walked down to the bar area.
The underground auction hummed with activity from the elite patrons scattered around the main hall. The atmosphere thick with the weight of unspoken deals and veiled power. The gathered people toured each display case admiring the rare and even dangerous items. The room itself was a study in contrasts: ornate carvings and velvet drapes disguised the building's grim origins, while the scent of aged whiskey mingled with a faint metallic tang that hinted at hidden weaponry and the musk of the centuries old building.
You stood behind the bar at the far end of the room, polishing glasses in methodical circles as your eyes scanned the crowd. It was all you had been entrusted to do so far, which was probably for the best as your focus was far away from the menial task in your hand.
Instead, you were watching Sylus Qin take his place among the elite, as effortlessly commanding as ever. His presence filled the space as he entered, capturing everyone’s attention. They couldn’t help their stares, yet no one dared to approach him without an invitation. His tailored black suit hugged his broad shoulders and tapered perfectly down his lean frame. His silver hair framed his sharp features, catching the warm light of the chandeliers and making him look like he’d stepped out of a painting, if paintings could exude danger and power.
Sylus moved with a predator’s grace, flanked by two men in crow masks, Luke and Kieran you’d discovered from your research. Every step was deliberate and unhurried, as he took note of his surroundings. The unspoken king of the N109 zone. The sight of him was always enough to start your pulse racing, a mix of respect and that simmering desire that haunted you when you were around him.
You tried to refocus on the bar, on the repetitive motions of your hands as you arranged the bottles and tools, trying to ground yourself. Yet, every few moments, your gaze flickered back to him, taking note of the items he seemed interested in, or who he deemed important enough to give a cursory nod to. He only spoke to his men, their conversation quiet and completely theirs, a faint smirk playing on his lips as the three of them chuckled about something one of them had said. The glint in his crimson eyes was as sharp and calculating as ever - a man who already knew the outcome of the night’s dealings. You felt a twinge of envy for the effortless way he commanded attention, for how he belonged so completely in a world you were only pretending to inhabit.
He was headed right for you, you realised. Well, for the bar that was. His approach left you no room to be caught off guard. You busied yourself arranging glasses, trying to look preoccupied as he closed the distance between you. You looked between the bottles you were fussing with and the other bartender working alongside you as his footsteps came to a halt. He cleared his throat, signalling for attention, completely unnecessarily when he already commanded it so effortlessly.
His voice, smooth as velvet, broke through the hum of the room. "An old-fashioned," he said. This voice made your stomach turn in somersaults.
“Right away sir,” The other bartender replied, but Sylus cut him off before he could start making his drink.
“I’d prefer that she be the one to make my drink,” He stated.
You spun around in shock to find his eyes already firmly locked on you. He was even more handsome up close, if that was even possible.
“Me?” You said, your words coming out a little more alarmed than you’d intended.
“Her?” Your colleague exclaimed at the same time, with the same tone of alarm. He must have remembered the negroni you’d made at your interview. “Sir, s-she’s just in training I think it’s b-”
“I don't care what you think,” Sylus snapped, his eyes never leaving your face. “I find my drink always tastes better when it’s been made by someone beautiful.”
You could feel the heat rise in your face. Beautiful. He called you beautiful. Your heart rate raced in your chest, if he was any closer, you were sure he would’ve been able to hear its frantic pumping. Was it too dramatic to pass out?
His smirk deepened further at your reaction, satisfied at having had the chance to throw you off your guard, for being the reason the blood rushed to your face.
The other bartender sighed before gesturing for you to begin. You nodded at him, then focussed on, keeping your hands steady as you prepared the drink. Each motion felt heightened - the clink of ice against glass, the subtle aroma of bitters and orange peel. You forced yourself to ignore Sylus as you concentrated on your work, pouring your attention into every detail, desperate to make this moment flawless, to impress him. When you slid the finished drink across the counter, your fingers brushed each other on the cool glass as he picked it up. Your hand flexed as you rested it behind you and watched him.
Sylus took a slow sip, his carmine eyes fixed on you. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed the drink you had made for him, the movement drawing your eyes in. The silence stretched, thick with unspoken tension, before he finally spoke. "Impressive," he said, his voice laced with approval. "That’s the best old-fashioned I’ve had in years.” You could’ve passed out right then and there from the praise that fell from his lips. “Such… talent for someone still training, you’re surely wasted with your current employer miss…"
The comment hit you like a lightning strike, leaving your heart pounding the way he said it felt pointed, almost teasing. You managed a polite smile, when you’d finally encouraged your brain to resume its normal functioning. "Natalie," you said softly.
His eyebrow twitched a little as you said your alias’ name, but it was gone as soon as it happened. Instead, a slight smile graced the corners of his lips as he repeated the name. "Natalie," he said, as though tasting it, testing it. The name on his tongue was disarming, yet undeniably frustrating, you wanted to hear him say your real name, for it to be you he was addressing, not some fabricated identity. He placed a hefty tip on the bar in front of you, nodding as a gesture for you to take it.
“Enjoy your evening, sir” you said, desperately trying to remain as calm as possible as you took the tip. Was that too much eye contact? You should look away. Are you sweating?
One of his henchmen let out a slight giggle, only to be swiftly kicked by the other masked man. Sylus tipped his drink at you in a salute and walked away to his table, front and centre.
The lights dimmed in the room as the auctioneer stepped up to the podium and people hurried to take their seats. Your palms were sweaty and shaking as you watched the beginnings of the proceedings. You turned to the bartender and told him you were going to head to the restroom, desperate to find a quiet place to calm your racing heart and mind. He simply glared at you and nodded, still butthurt by the interaction with Sylus.
You found solace on the upper balcony, where the noise of the auction floor became a distant murmur. The air was cooler here. Its freshness kissing your skin as you leaned against the railing, trying to collect yourself. Your heart raced, not just from the interaction but from the overwhelming mix of emotions swirling inside you. Desire, frustration, and a gnawing sense of inadequacy warred for dominance. The tip burned from its place in your pocket.
What were you even doing here? Captain Jenna had insisted you take this opportunity to meet him in person, but where had it gotten you? Making his drinks and watching him. So, nowhere. You sighed, rubbing your face as you tried to collect yourself. Everything came back to the uselessness of the Hunters Association.
Unbeknownst to you, Sylus had noticed your sudden departure and was in fact not pleased to have lost sight of his favourite source of entertainment. He remained seated, but his gaze scanned the room carefully. Where had you gone? His interest had been piqued, and now you’d disappeared. The realization left him unsettled, his chest tightening with an unfamiliar sensation he didn’t care to name.
Lucienne chose that exact moment to approach him, gliding across the room in her burgundy slip dress. The fabric clung to her figure, the sheen of the material catching the light with every step. To anyone else, she looked stunning, but to Sylus, it felt calculated and false. Her confidence faltered slightly under his sharp gaze, but she recovered quickly, smiling as she addressed him.
"Sylus," she said warmly, her voice dripping with familiarity. "I was hoping to run into you again tonight."
He stood out of politeness, offering her a cordial smile. "Lucienne," he said smoothly. "What a surprise." He knew he would regret leading her on like that.
She reached out, resting a hand on his arm as she leaned closer, her tone taking on a flirtatious edge. "I thought we might discuss a partnership," she began, clearly indicating something more than just business.
His face fell into a look of disinterest and he almost rolled his eyes at her attempt to flirt with him. His eyes flickered briefly to the bar, where he’d last seen you, and a flicker of irritation creeping into his otherwise flawless facade.
Lucienne, noticing his distraction, faltered. Her words stumbling slightly . "I mean, if you’re… interested, of course."
Sylus couldn’t stand her touch for much longer. He gently removed her hand from his arm, stepping back just enough to establish a boundary. "Forgive me, Lucienne, but I’m preoccupied tonight." He replied, his tone polite but detached as he sat back down in his chair.
The conversation was over, there was no question about it and Lucienne knew that. She had been dismissed. She lingered for a moment, her expression faltering before she excused herself. Sylus’ gaze returned to the room, scanning once more for any sign of you.
Your grip tightened on the balcony railing as you watched the scene below. Fucking Lucienne! Your chest tightened with jealousy. Of course, he was interested in her. She was elegant, poised, and clearly belonged in his world. And yet you couldn’t dismiss your own interaction with him.
Did you imagine it? The way his eyes softened when he looked at you. The way he seemed… interested in you. No. There was no way you were that delusional. He must have taken a liking to you, that was the only explanation for it. At least, it was the one you were going to go with. The one that gave you some hope that he would be accepting of you once you made your move.
No. He doesn’t belong to her. He doesn’t belong to anyone, yet.
The door clicked closed as you entered the stillness of your apartment, finally shutting out the chaos of the night. Equal parts of exhaustion and excitement thrumming through your system. Your feet ached from the long shift, but that was nothing compared to the way your emotions raged inside you.
You took the cash Sylus had given you out of your back pocket, your fingers trembling slightly as you unfolded it. It felt heavier than it should, not because of its physical weight, but because of what it represented. He’d noticed you. The thought sent a dizzying rush through your veins. He hadn’t just noticed you - he’d spoken to you, given you his money, chosen you in that moment. A wild mix of elation and disbelief surged in your chest, leaving you breathless.
The crisp texture of the bills felt surreal under your fingertips, grounding you even as your thoughts spun. Your mind replayed the encounter on an endless loop, picking apart every detail like a cherished relic.
And yet, a thorn of unease pricked at the edges of your joy, the thought of Lucienne tied to him casting a faint shadow. It niggled at the back of your mind, unwelcome and persistent, but it wasn’t enough to pierce through the haze of reverence you felt. The money, his money, sat in your hands like a promise you didn’t fully understand yet.
You’d played the role of Natalie Moore perfectly tonight - dutiful, composed, unremarkable.You leaned back against it for a moment, the cool wood grounding you. His voice, low and deliberate, as he ordered the drink you’d prepared. The faint curve of his lips when he’d complimented your skill. The way his crimson eyes had softened, just for a heartbeat, when they met yours. Your breath hitched at the memory, heat creeping up into your cheeks.
You shrugged off your coat, tossing it onto the back of the couch. Your heels were the next to go, kicked off haphazardly, one landing near the door and the other skidding across the floor to rest beneath the coffee table. The act of discarding them felt almost cathartic, but it did nothing to clear your chaotic thoughts.
Your apartment was a mess.
Clothes strewn across furniture; takeout containers littered the room; an enormous pile of dirty dishes. Your eyes swept across the chaos, the clutter pressing down on your chest like a weight that couldn’t be lifted. Each out-of-place object seemed to gnaw at the edges of your mind, a cacophony of silent accusations. You'd let this get out of hand. Your desk - once meticulously organised with your notes and recordings - was now a disheveled mess of papers, empty coffee cups, and half-finished reports.
This wasn’t you. You were methodical, deliberate, and precise. You’d always taken pride in maintaining a perfectly kept space, your cleaning routine serving to clear your mind and set you up for the coming weeks of work, but the last few weeks had been a whirlwind of spiraling thoughts and poorly managed emotions. It showed.
The sheer mess of your life felt like an insult to your obsession with him. How could you imagine yourself by his side when your own space looked like this? Disgusting.
“God,” you muttered under your breath, the word slicing through the oppressive silence.
Despite the ache in your feet and your exhaustion, you knew you couldn’t leave the mess any longer. Pulling your hair back into a ponytail, you dove in. The rhythmic act of cleaning took over as you scrubbed dishes, tidied up clutter, and vacuumed the floors. Each task felt like a small victory, the chaos slowly giving way to order. Trash bags piled up, requiring three trips to the bins, each one tossed with a satisfying finality. By the time you reached your desk, the rest of the apartment had transformed into the haven it was meant to be. Only a few loads of laundry, your desk and a change of bedding remained before you could finally call it a night.
You started organising your desk. Sorting into piles to be filed, “reports” to be finished and you silently tucked away a few more personal notes. It was there, amidst the organised disarray of your notes and tools, that you spotted something that had your mind pausing its focus. A tracker. Sleek, discreet, and entirely unassuming, it rested on the corner of the desk like a forgotten artifact. Its smooth surface felt cool in your hands as you turned it over to look at it more clearly. The Hunter’s Association had issued it to you as part of the mission - a tool to help you keep tabs on Sylus’ movements. But it had limitations, ones you could no longer afford.
Your mind whirred with the ideas bouncing around but with the state of your exhaustion, you couldn’t properly latch onto any of them. For now, you stored the tracker in one of the draws and decided to reward yourself.
Bath finally drawn, you allowed yourself to strip off the final layers of Natalie, relaxing into the warm, bubble water as just you. The water soothed your sore muscles, overworked from your combined shift and the borderline manic cleaning of your apartment.
Sinking further down into the bubbles, you sighed as you considered your next moves. You wanted him, wanted him all to yourself, no distractions. How were you going to explain yourself to him? How could you make him understand without scaring him? Your thoughts once again turned to Noah and his rejection of you. Wincing, you tried to push it from your mind, subconsciously cupping the side of your face from the memory of the sting.
Wait.
Maybe the problem was that he finally confronted you in public! That’s why Noah was so upset right? He had been caught off guard in public and reacted like that because of how everyone else was staring, right?
So, all you would need to do is get Sylus to someplace private, away from the hustle and bustle of other people. Easy!
Turned out it was not so easy after all. Your first thought had been to bring him here. To your own apartment. The idea had sent a thrill through you until you thought about it for even a little second. Your apartment was out of the question. It was too small, too exposed, and far too close to the Association’s watchful eye. You needed somewhere secure, somewhere they wouldn’t think to look. I mean all of your neighbours were hunters. Having him in your space, would absolutely not work.
You opened your laptop, setting it on your newly organised desk, and began your search. The listings in Linkon were plentiful, ranging from modest apartments to luxurious penthouses. But each one was vetoed pretty quickly. Too close to the Hunter’s Association. The area was too busy. Near a school? Absolutely not appropriate in your opinion! It all came down to the Association’s jurisdiction covering the entire city. Any property you acquired in Linkon would be far too easily found and traced. Bringing him here would place him in far too much danger. You were not willing to do that.
Frustration gnawed at you like a relentless itch, leaving you restless in your chair. You sighed, leaning back with a soft thud and dragging your hand through your hair, the strands falling messily back into place. “How do you even find a safe house?” you muttered to the empty room, the edge in your voice sharper than you intended.
The N109 zone. It was your only option now, but finding a property there? That was another beast entirely. There were no real estate agents for the N109 zone - no polished offices with eager professionals offering brochures and coffee. There weren’t even official listings. Just a tangled mess of underground networks, anonymous forums, and shadowy contacts who vanished when pressed for details.
You spent hours scouring message boards and digital scraps of information, each post a breadcrumb promising something useful only to turn to dust when you followed it. Property A? Already occupied by squatters who didn’t just refuse to leave - they sent a heavily veiled warning not to come asking again. Property B? Owned by someone with clear ties to Sylus’ rivals. Even seeing the name had made your pulse quicken, the risk too great to ignore. And Property C? A literal death trap with rotted floors, exposed wiring that sparked in the listing video, and the unsettling promise that it might collapse on you mid-sleep.
You could not embarrass yourself by bringing him to any of those places.
You closed yet another useless tab, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from screaming. Your patience was fraying like a taut rope, thread by thread. You weren’t naive - you knew the N109 zone wouldn’t just hand you an answer wrapped up in a neat bow. But with every dead end, every link that spiralled into nothing, the reality of it all loomed larger: you were running out of options.
“How does anyone survive in that place?” you muttered bitterly, slumping back in your chair.
The quiet of your apartment enveloped you. That awful kind of stillness that lets thoughts creep in uninvited, pressing against the edges of your already frayed mind.
Your jaw tensed as you fought against the rising doubt, dragging a hand through your hair. The ache in your temples pulsed as your thoughts spiraled, circling the same impossible problem over and over again.
You wanted to see him. To know where he was right now, but the little menace had been almost going out of his way to lose you recently. There were days when you didn’t get to see him at all and that began to annoy you. What if he was doing it on purpose?
It would be so much easier if you knew where he was, literally all the time.
The idea sat there for a moment, harmless and innocent, before unfurling fully in your mind. You sat up straighter, your pulse quickening as it settled in place. Of course. Knowing where Sylus was at all times - his movements, his location - wouldn’t solve everything, but it would give you some form of highground. A sense of control you were sorely lacking right now.
Your fingers tapped against the desk as the thought burrowed deeper. You knew that tracker would come in handy.
It was tucked away in the drawer, exactly where you’d left it the day before, when you cleaned up your workspace. The drawer slid open, and you hesitated briefly before reaching for the sleek, unassuming device. The metal was cool against your fingers, heavier than you remembered.
Staring at the tracker, you placed it carefully on the desk. For a long moment, you just took in your situation, torn between reluctance and temptation. The tracker wasn’t yours - it was theirs, a tool given to you by the Hunter’s Association. Using it felt like crossing another line, breaking yet another rule.
But hadn’t you already done that?
You picked up the tracker, rolling it between your fingers as if testing its weight, its worth. It was a tool from the Association, but it didn’t feel like yours - not yet. That could change. You had the skills to corrupt its programming, to sever its link to their systems and bend it to your own needs. Of course, if they ever caught on, it would be over for you. But the thought of leaving it untouched, of not using it at all, left you feeling even more powerless.
Your chest tightened as you weighed the choice, a part of you thinking this might be too far, but the other part - the louder, hungrier part - had already made up its mind.
You returned your focus to the laptop. The glow of the screen painted your face in cool light as you sat back down, the room filling with the quiet hum of fans and faint clicks of your keyboard. You knew what you had to do. You had to make the tracker yours.
No links to the Association. Just you, and him. Well, watching him.
You worked with carefully, precisely, your hands steady as you pried the tracker open with a bobby pin. The casing popped apart with a soft snap, revealing a delicate web of circuits inside. A faint hum emanated from its core, and you paused for only a moment before diving in, disconnecting the transmitter. You cut the link that fed its data back to the Association. It was a simple task, but that didn’t stop the thrum of nerves as you severed the tie to their ownership of the tracker.
The next part was trickier. You opened a new program on your laptop, lines of code scrolling and scrolling endlessly, the DNA of the motherboard. Code you, luckily, knew well enough to work with. The Association’s firewalls were formidable, of course they were, you’d helped set them up in your early days as a hunter, but you were better. Where the Association had allowed itself to sit stagnant on advancements in programming, you’d remained informed. Each line of code gave way under your knowledge, firewalls and protections fell as you navigated deeper into their system, ensuring the PCB’s connection was completely severed from the Association, down to the core.When the final line of code executed successfully, a small ping sounded from your laptop. You smiled, feeling very content with yourself. But you weren’t finished.
You needed to attach your own GPS system, upgrade the transmitter’s coding and finally link all of it to your own personal devices. Each successful execution sent a thrill through you, a mix of relief and triumph. Finally, the tracker’s signal reappeared - this time, on your laptop monitor. A bright dot blinked steadily on the screen, marking its presence in real time. You moved through your apartment with the tracker, seeing the precise location on the screen moving with you.
You exhaled slowly, a tension you didn’t realise you’d been holding dissipating from your shoulders. You picked up your phone, syncing the device so the dot appeared on the map interface. When you moved the tracker across the desk, the dot followed seamlessly, its connection flawless.
“Perfect,” you murmured, your voice soft, almost reverent.
Another thread of control had slipped neatly into your hands, leaving you with a small, sharp satisfaction curling in your chest.
You sat back, staring at the pulsing dot on your phone screen. Where are you now? The thought came unbidden, edged with curiosity and something darker, something you weren’t ready to name. Knowing you could see him whenever you wanted, that you could follow his movements with just a glance, sent an unexpected shiver down your spine.
But the tracker was just the first step. It gave you knowledge - his location, his movements - but that wasn’t enough. What good was knowing where he was when you couldn’t reach him? Couldn’t bring him to you? You needed more.
The words slithered through your mind, making your fingers twitch against the armrest. More control. More certainty. Sylus was untouchable, out of reach in every way that mattered, and the thought gnawed at the edges of your resolve. He wouldn’t come willingly. You’d have to bring him to you - close the distance yourself, force his gaze back to you, where it belonged.
The solution whispered itself to you like a secret: a sedative. That could work.
You pulled your laptop closer, once again motivated enough to solve your problems. Your fingers hesitated for only a moment before typing “effective sedatives” into the search bar. It felt almost ridiculous - wrong, even - and yet the click of the keys was so deliberate, so purposeful. You swallowed hard, watching the results flood the page in long, disjointed lists: blog articles, obscure medical forums, even links to dubious N109 black-market suppliers.
The first few results were absurd: "Ten Sleepy-Time Teas for Your Insomniac Lover!" A soft exhale of a laugh escaped you. As if the Sylus Qin would ever be taken down by a sleepy time tea. You scrolled further, past DIY sleep aids and over-the-counter nonsense, until the real answers started to surface. The research became clinical, factual, with medical terms you had to work hard to decipher. If you could talk to a medical professional, you could probably understand this a lot easier, buuuut you'd also almost certainly end up locked up. So the internet was your only source of information.
Chloroform was an early temptation, of course, you’d seen it used in TV shows and movies for the exact same outcome. Fast-acting, the promise of unconsciousness in only a few minutes - it had an appeal that made your pulse quicken. You clicked through case studies, reading about its use, imagining for just a moment pressing a cloth to his face and holding it there until…
No.
You grimaced, shoving the thought away as quickly as it came. The TV shows had clearly not done their own proper research. The drawbacks were too much: burns from exposure, unpredictable dosage based on weight and metabolism. Could you even reach his face? He was tall - so tall - you’d have to stand on your toes just to hold the rag in place. The mental image was absurd. Worse than that though, it was dangerous. And the thought of leaving a mark, even an unintentional one made you draw back from that line of thinking completely. You’d sooner fail than disfigure him in any way. Sylus was perfect, every sharp edge and flawless line.
With a sigh, you moved on, typing new terms into the search bar. Fast-acting sedatives. Safe sedatives. Substances for unconsciousness with minimal trace.
Pentobarbital caught your eye next. A potent barbiturate with a long and controversial history - it was strong enough to knock him out, yes, but its unpredictability made you hesitate. You skimmed the medical notes, lips pressed into a thin line as the words blurred together. Respiratory depression. Lethal at higher doses. Your pulse skipped at the word lethal. Immediately striking it off the list, that wasn’t an option. You would not hurt him.
The thought came back like a mantra, as if you needed to convince yourself. This isn’t to hurt him. This is to help him. To protect him.
Scrolling further, you found something promising: midazolam. A benzodiazepine with a clean, precise reputation. Fast-acting and reliable, it was commonly used in hospitals to calm patients before procedures. One moment they were awake, and the next… gone. Its effects were temporary, too - enough to ensure that you could get him where you needed to without causing harm. At higher doses, it could completely knock someone out, at lower doses, it could be used to make him easier to manoeuvre into a vehicle or something like that.
Your eyes traced the screen as you absorbed the information. Minimal taste, odourless in liquid form. Perfect. Your hands trembled slightly as you bookmarked the page, your breathing steadying as the weight of the decision settled over you. You sat back and stared at the text on your screen, imagining it in action.
A drink - just one. He’d tip back the glass, never knowing what you’d slipped into it. It would be easy. He’d close his eyes, his tall frame relaxing as the drug took hold. Then you’d… what? Somehow get him to a safe house. Your thoughts stumbled, and you forced yourself to keep moving forward. The details didn’t matter yet. What mattered was the first step: securing the sedative.
Your search shifted as you began scouring suppliers, looking for underground networks and black-market pharmacies that wouldn’t ask questions. This was the N109 zone’s territory, you realised. There were no rules out there - no ethics, no oversight. Just people like you, willing to pay the price for what they needed. You glanced at your dwindling stack of cash, running numbers in your head. It would be worth it. Every penny, every risk - worth it to have him.
A few days had passed, and the dust had settled. Now in your possession was a small vial of midazolam, a tracker linked to your phone, and a fully formed plan simmering quietly in your mind. The pieces were finally starting to align, each one as dangerous as it was necessary. Yet, the issue of the safe house remained unresolved.
Slumped at your desk, you opened your laptop with a sigh, half-expecting another fruitless search. Your inbox pinged, startling you slightly. A new message sat there, the subject line calling out to you: Exclusive Properties in the N109 Zone.
Your brow furrowed. Properties? You didn’t remember signing up for anything like this. You frowned, your mind racing. Had you registered your interest in properties accidentally? Maybe you had clicked something in your late-night searches and forgotten. Or maybe someone was tracking your internet history. The thought set you on edge, but you pushed the feeling aside. Your interest had been piqued, you clicked into the email, the sleek formatting and pristine images catching your attention immediately. There were three listings, each stunningly presented with immaculate photos and descriptions. They had flexible term contracts, furnished or unfurnished options; all boasting of being discrete and having excellent security as well.they were, for lack of a better word: perfect.
Number one was sleek and modern, all sharp angles and steel. The floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked the sprawling city, though the interior felt cold - almost sterile. It was a fortress, but one without a soul. You could see its appeal to someone with no interest in comfort, just functionality. It would do but it wouldn’t be the most comfortable.
Number two was ostentatious. Crystal chandeliers, plush gold accents, and velvet everything. It reeked of new money trying too hard to be tasteful, every inch designed to be a showpiece rather than a home. It was beautiful, gaudy yes, but still beautiful.
And then there was, number three. The moment the image loaded, your breath hitched. Dark wood floors, soft amber lighting, and furnishings that struck the perfect balance between luxury and livability. The space was grand yet intimate, the leather sofas arranged around a massive set of windows that let the city lights spill in like a painting. It was elegant without being overdone - rich but warm, like someone had considered every detail carefully.
Your gaze lingered on the images longer than you realized. Something about it felt right. Safe, even. Like a place where you could rest, regroup, and focus - without feeling watched.if you ever had unlimited funds, this is what you would’ve chosen for yourself but alas you did not.
And then you saw the price.
Your heart sank. The numbers glared back at you, cruel and unrelenting. The cheapest penthouse was far beyond your reach, and this one? Laughable. You leaned back, dragging a hand through your hair in frustration.
“What a joke,” you muttered, biting back the sting of disappointment. Closing the tab, you shook your head. It’s just bait. Probably a scam anyway. Still that last property stuck with you, you even went as far as to pin it to your “home inspiration” pinterest board.
Across the city, Sylus stared at his screen, his crimson eyes narrowing as he watched the moment you dismissed the listing. Through Mephisto’s feed, he saw the flicker of disappointment on your face and something deep within him twisted. He was irritated.
You hadn’t chosen any of them. Hadn’t even looked long enough. His jaw clenched as he brought up your file, flicking through to try and understand why on earth you would dismiss the places he picked out for you. Finally a thought struck him. Finances. Specifically, your finances. He rifled through your baking history and what he saw made his lip curl. Your accounts were nearly empty, savings depleted, seemingly all withdrawn over the course of a single week.He scrolled back further, checking your transaction history and almost sneering at what he saw. The total amount that had been withdrawn was less than he made in a single deal, significantly less actually. Your monthly income, a pitiful amount.
This is what you were living on? A bitter laugh escaped him, though it was more disbelief than amusement. The numbers on the screen - meager remnants of paychecks from the Hunter’s Association - were laughable. You’d been scraping by, sacrificing comfort, and working for them. Plus the job of a hunter was incredibly dangerous, not to mention completely essential to Linkon city. And this was your wage? Pennies?
“Unbelievable,” he murmured, a dangerous softness in his tone. She’s worth so much more.
Sylus’ fingers hovered over the keys, and with a few precise strokes, he adjusted the listings. He knocked down the prices to amounts you couldn’t ignore, nudging them closer to affordability. Even so, the thought of you paying at all rankled him. You didn’t owe him anything - he didn’t want your money, he just wanted you. He’d make them free but that would be far too suspicious.
“She’d better pick the one she actually wants,” he said to himself, unable to stop the faintest smirk from tugging at his lips.
The second ping of your inbox drew your attention. Frowning, you opened the message - the same one as before, but now with the subject line Updated Listings - Limited Time Offer.
Your brow furrowed, as you looked at the email suspiciously. “No way.”
But still you clicked back on the listings, your heart pounding. Each property was the same, same pictures, same descriptions, same everything. Except for one thing, the price. They were cheaper - dramatically cheaper. The numbers you’d seen initially were slashed down to something that could possibly be achievable. Still steep, but no longer completely impossible.
“What the fuck?” you whispered, your pulse quickening.
Had the system adjusted after picking up on your interest? Was this some kind of algorithm-driven discount? The whole thing screamed ‘too good to be true’, and every rational bone in your body told you to close the screen.
But what if it isn’t too good to be true?
Your gaze drifted back to the third penthouse -the one you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about. It was perfect. Too perfect. Your instincts still screamed caution, but something in your chest clenched at the thought of letting it slip away. Well you know what happens when you want something.
“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” you muttered to yourself, the words firm. Rationality had, of course, gotten you nowhere. Maybe it was time to take yet another huge risk.
Your cursor hovered for a long moment before you clicked “confirm.” The screen flashed, and your inbox updated with a confirmation and instructions for sending payment. You exhaled sharply, the knot in your chest unraveling into something strange and electric. Relief. Satisfaction. Excitement.
“Finally,” you whispered, a small smile tugging at your lips.
The seller told you to deposit the cash in a subway locker and they would exchange it for the key, deed and other papers registering the property as yours. It all felt very official for the N109 zone, you didn’t even know that houses had deeds over there.
Sylus watched in real time as your smile bloomed - wide and radiant, lighting up your entire face. He froze, his fingers stilling mid-motion as he took you in. The way you bit your bottom lip as you checked the details, the small, victorious clap of your hands as you leaned back in your chair - it was intoxicating. His chest ached with something he didn’t want to name, something far more tender than he’d ever felt before.
“That’s right, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice soft, reverent almost. Of course you had picked the one he’d decorated for you - not consciously, perhaps, but with you in mind. The warmth, the comfort, the faint sense of safety it exuded - it was all tailored to what he imagined you would want. And you’d chosen it.
A smirk curled his lips, though there was no malice in it - only pride. It felt like a victory, like you’d stepped closer to where you truly belonged. To him.
“Adorable,” he muttered, watching you scroll through the confirmation screen again, as if afraid it might disappear. He leaned forward, his crimson eyes narrowing slightly as if speaking directly to you through the screen.
“Sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice rich and dark, “you should know better than to think anyone else would hand you something so easily. I’m the only one you need.”
Mephisto gave a mechanical twitch, a subtle nod of agreement, and Sylus leaned back, his satisfaction curling through him like a slow-burning ember. The sight of you - humming softly to yourself, your fingers tapping the keys as you admired the penthouse - was intoxicating in ways he couldn’t quite name. You were his, even if you didn’t know it yet.
Thinking of you living in that space, beneath the roof of a building he owned, sent a thrum of delight coursing through his veins. Finally. You’d be safe there - so much more under his protection that nothing in this wretched city could touch you. Not the Hunter’s Association, not the chaos of the N109 zone, and certainly not anyone foolish enough to think they could come between you and him. He’d make sure of it.
But beyond the satisfaction of having you tethered so neatly to his world, there was a deeper pleasure - one he hadn’t anticipated. The joy on your face, the smile that lit up your expression when you thought you’d won, lingered in his mind like a warmth he couldn’t shake, no matter how tightly he buried it beneath his usual resolve. He had put that smile there. He’d made you happy, even if you didn’t yet understand why.
Soon enough, you would. You’d see how far he was willing to go - how much of the world he would bend and break to keep you close. Gods, you were perfect for him. Perfect. And now, you were right where you belonged - under his protection, and his control.
“Enjoy it, kitten,” Sylus murmured, his crimson eyes glinting as he stared at the screen. “I’ll enjoy it too.”
➽──────────────────────────────────❥
I feel Sylus is incredibly hot in this chapter to be honest, but let me know your thoughts haha! Thank you so much for reading!
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#lads sylus#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace#sylus x reader#sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus qin#sylus smut#sylus love and deepspace#lnd sylus#sylus lads#sylus x mc#sylus x you#qin che#luke and kieran#lads fanfic#lads x reader#lnds#l&ds#love and deep space x reader#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace x reader#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace mc#love and deepspace fanfiction#love and deepspace fanfic#sylus fanfic#sylus fanfiction#writing
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You're sitting with your friend Sam at a coffee shop, catching up. She's telling you about an instagram ad she keeps getting for some audiobook streaming service. "It's just crazy," she says, "because I was just telling Lucille I wanted to start reading more books but I never have the time, and then it's like instantly I'm getting these ads all the time."
"So what," you say over your steaming mug, "you think they're listening to you?"
Sam shakes her head. "Honestly I think it's almost scarier than that. They have so much information about us, they don't even need to listen to our conversations. They just know, based on everything they've gathered about me, that I'm probably someone who wants to listen to audiobooks."
"Well they can't be that smart," you say. "Because the only ads I've been getting lately are for something called Slut Cream."
Sam raises an eyebrow. "You must know I'm going to need more details."
You take out your phone and find an ad to show her. It's not difficult; literally all of the ads you see on instagram are like this. They're even showing up in other places now, on webpages you visit or apps you use. This one is one you've seen before: a beautiful woman in a crop top that just barely covers her nipples is proudly displaying a squeeze tube of the kind you'd buy sunscreen or toothpaste in. The caption says, "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle! Step up your slut game with Slut Cream! Shop Now"
"I don't even know what slut cream is," you say. "All you get when you look it up is a bunch of porn."
"Well, obviously it's a way to step up your slut game," says Sam sagely. "What does it say on the website?"
"Oh, I'm not clicking the link," you say. "I don't want to encourage them! What I want to know is why suddenly this ad is all I can seem to see!"
Sam shoots you a wink. "Maybe you're just a slut. These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."'
What neither of you know is that it's actually quite easy to buy online ad space, and they let you get pretty specific with your intended audience.
I live in the next apartment over from you. I've been watching you for a long time, studying you, listening to you through our shared wall. We've talked a few times, some terse conversation at the mailboxes or in the hall, which is how I knew enough about you to place those ads, with audience parameters so specific that probably only you and about five other people would see them. I had fun making them; hiring the model to do the photoshoot, dusting off the skills I picked up in that college graphic design course, creating a website for this fake business (though I'm disappointed you still haven't clicked through to see it). If you actually tried to buy slut cream, the website would tell you we're currently closed due to high traffic, and to check back later. Nowhere on the website does it explain what slut cream is.
A number of strange things happen to you over the course of the following day. On your lunch break you walk down the block to the deli by your office. You're in here every weekday, but today the energy here is different. People are staring you, side-eyeing you, having whispered conversations that stop abruptly when you get too close. As you're walking back to work, an old woman spits on the ground as you pass, you'd swear you heard the word "whore!" hissed under her breath. You wonder if you should say something, stand up for yourself, but she's elderly, probably confused, and you decide to be the bigger person.
In the hours after lunch, you're propositioned by no less than seven of your male coworkers. You've had to refuse a few invitations to dinner in your time, but seven in a day is completely out of the ordinary, and the things these men are offering to do to you go way outside the bounds of first date stuff. One guy tells you the conference room is empty, if you want to go for a quick fuck; another guy tells you he hasn't cum in a month, and if you sucked his cock he'd pump so much cum down your throat that you wouldn't need to eat dinner. Your boss even tells you he and his wife are looking for a third and he thought of you first, like he's offering you a big promotion. The strangest thing is that all of these men seem genuinely surprised when you turn them down. Like this sort of thing usually works with girls. One guy even says, "sorry, I was just trying to help."
It was pretty easy to hire actors for the deli and the street. You go to the same place every day, so I knew where they'd have to go and roughly when they'd need to be there. The harder part was getting your coworkers to play along, especially because I was picky about getting people who could sell the act. For a few of them all it took was money. A few of them I had to blackmail. For your boss I had to call in a favor, get his boss to threaten his job. He protested, but I think it made his cock hard, thinking about fucking you alongside his wife.
I keep this up for a few weeks. Anywhere you go I have people watching you, talking about you behind your back. I have people approaching you on the train, at the park, in restaurants, offering to fuck you like they're doing you a favor. You stay firm in your refusal—I wouldn't have expected any less from you—but I can tell it's beginning to eat at you. I watch you try to figure out what you're doing that seems to give all these people the wrong idea about you; you start to dress more modestly, talk less, even walk a little less confidently. But none of this will change anything. All it will do is make you feel more repressed.
After a month, I decide it's time to make my move. I could probably wait longer, but the anticipation is getting too much for me, and besides, you're beginning to get a little wild around the eyes. I'd hate to break you before I've had my fun. One evening, when I know you're home, I unlock your apartment with the duplicate key I had made two months ago. You're in the kitchen, washing dishes with headphones on; you didn't hear me come in. I leave the door open as I approach you, admiring the way you shake your ass to whatever it is you're listening to. I get right up behind you and stay there for a moment, lavishing in your innocence, feeling my cock strain at my belt as I imagine taking it away from you. Then I reach around front of you with both arms and plunge my hand into your panties
You shout in shock, fight back, try to push me off as the headphones fall off your head. But I've got you pinned against the counter, my full body weight against you, one hand down your pants, the other groping your breasts. Once you realize that fighting won't help, you stop struggling and ask me what I want. "Please," you say. Just hearing that quiver in your voice almost makes me delirious with lust. "Please, let me go. I don't want this, please."
I bury my face in your neck, kissing and breathing you in. You smell incredible, like fear and sweat and sex. I bring my lips up to your ear, let them brush against you as I speak. "Of course you want this, baby. You've been trying so hard to hide it, but you don't have to hide with me. Look, you left the door open for me." I let you turn your head enough to see the door hanging open just as my fingers find your clit. I'm rubbing you gently, tenderly, just the way I've watched you touch yourself through the webcam I have in your room. My other hand is under your shirt now and I'm squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between my fingers, feeling it slowly grow full and erect. You try to stifle a soft moan and I kiss your neck again. "It's okay, baby. You don't have to be ashamed. It's okay to want to feel good. Let me make you feel good."
You clutch your face in your hands and let out a cry of frustration and humiliation and agony and pleasure. You barely know me; I'm the guy next door who sometimes looks at you a little too long. The guy you speed up to avoid in the hall. But that feeling radiating from you clit... You think how exhausting it's been, doing everything you could think of to change people's perception of you, get them to stop looking at you as a slut, how none of it has done you any good anyway. You wonder if you'd have had more fun fucking Jim in the conference room, or swallowing Dylan's cum, or having a threesome with your boss and his wife. And that throbbing in your clit, the agonizing pleasure...You remember that beautiful woman in the ad: "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle!" You think about how happy she looked, how fulfilled. You remember Sam's words: "These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."
It does feel good, doesn't it? To let me touch you, pleasure you, to let go of this act you've been holding on to. Isn't it okay to want to feel good? Why did you ever let anyone make you ashamed of that? You try out another moan, letting the pleasure well up through your chest and out your mouth. It feels good, so you try another, and another, and then you're leaning back into me, grinding up against me, delighting in the feeling of my hard cock against your ass.
"Good," I say. "You're letting go of those silly hang-ups. Now we can have our real fun." My hands still around you, controlling you, I half lead-half carry your trembling body to the bedroom. I throw you on the bed, face up so I can get a good look at your eyes, see what I've done to your mind. Those same eyes that have avoided me in the hall so many times now gaze hungrily up at me, wanting me, needing me.
Who am I do decline?
I pull off your pants and panties as a single unit, letting you take care of your shirt for yourself. I kick of my own bottoms, letting my throbbing cock slap against your leg as it springs from its confinement. Don't think I don't notice the way your whole body shivers when it touches you. I lift your legs and push your knees up towards your ears; you're remarkably flexible. It must be all that yoga I've watched you do at the place downtown. I've greatly enjoyed your visits to that place, so it's nice to see they weren't in vain.
You're afraid of me, all of a sudden. Maybe some part of you is seeing sense, realizing you'd have to be crazy to let a guy like me come into your home and fuck you like this. But what was the alternative? Have me rape you? Let me tell you, darling: I would have raped you. You feel the head of my cock gliding over your skin, exploring your inner thighs and pubic area, and tremble at my touch. I want this, you tell yourself. This is what a slut like me needs.
All the same, you cry a little bit when I penetrate you. It's not because it hurts—it does hurt a bit, but you're wet enough, and it's not entirely a bad pain. It's not because you're afraid—well, maybe in part, but that's not the core of it. You cry because you're finally letting go. Letting go of the person you used to be, or thought you were. It's the relief of knowing you don't have to pretend anymore, wrapped up with the mourning you feel when you lose a potential version of yourself. I lean across you as my cock fills you up, and tenderly, I kiss away your tears. "Hush, my darling. I'm here. I will always be here. I will love you despite what you are, when everyone else turns away in disgust."
My weight on you feels good, comforting. The way I press down on your legs, stretching you out, driving my cock so deep inside you that it brushes your cervix. It hurts a little, but is that any better than you deserve? Could a slut like you really expect to find better than this? Better than unconditional love and a desire to give you the pleasure you need?
I'm speeding up now, my face something like an animal, furious and insistent as I gaze down at you. There's darkness behind my eyes, you think, something cold and cruel. You thank God I'm on your side. My hips are like a hammer on your pelvis now, and with each thrust you feel my cock bulging inside you, throbbing and pulsating with anticipation. When I finally plant my seed in you, groaning and growling and pressing you further into the bed, you find there's something comforting about the warmth of my cum inside you. Maybe my seed will take root, make you swell up with me, make you mine. As I roll off you, huffing and panting, the tears begin to stream down your face again, this time from joy.
What did a slut like you ever do to deserve someone who loves you like I do?
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Andy's Assistant
“Hello, excuse me.” There was a gentle rapping at my office door that caused me to look up from my computer. “Are you Andrew Reynolds?” I looked at a young guy obviously in his early twenties. He smiled cheerily as he stood in the doorway, waiting for my response. His smile was gorgeous, his teeth immaculate.
“Yes, I’m Andrew Reynolds,” I replied. “How can I help you?” He smiled again before he continued, walking a little further into my office.
“Well, the receptionist at the desk in the waiting area said it would be okay if I came on back.” I nodded, allowing him to continue. “My name is Parker Jeong and I applied for the job as your assistant. We had the interview over the phone early last week. I was in the process of moving to the area.”
“Oh, yes, I remember.” Recent college grad. Moving from California. Could start working immediately.
“I know that you mentioned wanting to meet in person before finalizing my employment.” He smiled again, and even with the wholesome smile on his face, I could see in his eyes that he was nervous. He had beautiful almond-shaped brown eyes, and he did his best to hold my gaze. He toyed anxiously with the crisp sheet of paper in his hand, which I assumed was a hard copy of his resumé. He was probably scared I wouldn’t want to hire him after all. Imagine moving across the country for a job only to be told the position had already been filled.
“I know you just graduated a few months ago,” I verbalized. “But from what I remember you telling me during our phone conversation and what I saw on the resumé you emailed over, you’re more than qualified to work as an administrative assistant.”
“Thank you, sir. I brought a hard copy of my resumé with me,” he said.
“Let me take another look.” He walked closer to my desk and handed it to me. I looked it over, recalling most of the standout credentials. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
Parker had majored in marketing with a minor in graphic design. He’d spent his final semester involved in a mentorship program for Asian-Americans interested in working in advertising. He graduated magna cum laude. Hell, he was overqualified for this position.
“You’re sure you want this job?” I asked. “You could definitely get a position as a copywriter at another agency.”
“Hathaway and Associates is the best agency in the entire Midwest. I’ve dreamed of working here since I decided I wanted to go into advertising. The commercials you all put out for Nike were astonishing.” The kid had done his research.
“What about those commercials did you like so much?”
“They had this sense of authenticity that I don’t think we see much of anymore. Those ads gave me the courage to join a gym.” I wondered what he’d think if he knew the portly executive in front of him had come up with the concept that inspired his fitness journey.
“I want more for my career, yes, but I don’t plan on shirking my responsibilities as your assistant. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re taken care of, sir.”
I was a pretty good judge of character, and I didn’t think Parker would let me down. I liked his honesty. It was refreshing. My previous assistants had never been my choice, often young adults that had some sort of connection to the other executives at the agency. “Well, I look forward to working with you.”
“I look forward to working with you too,” he replied, reaching out to shake my hand. I stood, and his eyes traveled upwards to my face. Maybe he couldn’t tell I was so tall behind my desk, but it seemed like he was surprised by my size. I tended to have this effect on people. I grabbed his hand, and we shook to seal the deal of his hiring.
“Head to human resources and get your paperwork finalized. I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning. We start at nine.” He thanked me again, clutching his over-the-shoulder bag as he left my office. I bet he skipped down the hallway all the way to HR.
I knew he’d work hard. That was certain. But when it came to how sexy he was, I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. I assumed Parker was gay, and he was definitely a little snack I could see myself sinking my teeth into, but I had to remind myself that I was in a position of power over him. Even if I wanted to see what he was working with underneath his exquisitely tailored slacks, flirting with him was a no-go. And besides, that little gym bunny probably had no interest in a grizzly bear like me.
The next morning, I got to work a little early and Parker was sitting at his station right outside of my office. He had a dozen donuts on his desk and two coffees, one much larger than the other.
“Hello Mr. Reynolds,” he said. “Please let me know what I can do to help you this morning.” He handed me the larger coffee and a napkin before smoothly opening the box of donuts. I recognized them immediately. They were from a trendy new spot that had opened a few months ago. They specialized in unique flavors, like maple-bacon and Fruity Pebbles.
“You sure know how to make an impression.”
“I told you that I’d do whatever it takes to make sure you’re taken care of.” I grabbed one of the donuts, knowing I’d be coming back out for another within the next fifteen minutes.
“Let me get situated and I’ll let you know what you can do for me.”
“Yes sir.”
I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me with all this “Mr. Reynolds” and “Yes sir” business. My last assistant was a statuesque redhead who never tried to go above and beyond the requirements of her position. Which was fine, I got it. She did what she was paid for. But sometimes I think she messed things up on purpose so I wouldn’t give her more work to do. I barely got a hello from her in the morning, and she left promptly at five without so much as a farewell.
I shuffled into my office, tossing my bag on one of the chairs opposite my desk. I bit into the donut, savoring its sweetness. It tasted like a Biscoff cookie, and I was almost certain the glaze was made from cookie butter. I took a slightly larger bite before shoving the rest of the pastry into my awaiting mouth. That donut never stood a chance. I already wanted another, but I needed to show some self-restraint. I couldn’t let Parker know I spent my working hours inhaling food three minutes into his first day.
About ten minutes later, Parker was knocking at my door, box of donuts in hand.
“We’re celebrating today, Mr. Reynolds,” he said, walking towards my desk. “I’ve already had two of these. I’m going to leave the box with you so you don’t have to worry about coming back for more.”
“Well, uh, you don’t want to offer them to some of the other assistants?”
“No, sir,” he said, coyly setting the box to the left of me at my L-shaped desk. “This is for me and you, sir.”
Damn did Parker know the way to a big man’s heart. Having the box within arm’s reach, I finished the rest of that dozen by noon.
The donuts were one thing, but Parker was constantly supplying me with snacks throughout the day. He’d brought me homemade blueberry muffins and brown butter chocolate chip cookies. He’d made me buttery croissants, decadent fudge brownies, and Oreo cheesecake bites. I wondered if he was making his way through a cookbook.
“It’s just a hobby,” he said offhandedly when I mentioned he didn’t have to bring me so many treats. “I guess I got carried away.”
“You just always bring so much. I hope you know I’m not expecting you to bring something every single day. I don’t want you to feel put out.”
“It’s just how I unwind,” he said. “Before I moved here, I had three roommates. Now that I live alone, I don’t have anyone else to share them with. I’m really sorry for assuming you wanted them.”
“Whoa!” I interjected. “I never said I didn’t want them.” This made him laugh. I didn’t mind the baked goods. I woke up salivating thinking about what new thing he’d have for me to munch on, but it was never just a sampling of his work. The portions were huge. When he showed up with his reusable containers, it always brought to mind something that would normally be placed in the breakroom for everyone in the office to sample—like a baker’s dozen of white chocolate raspberry mini-Bundt cakes or an entire pan of M&M Rice Krispie Treats.
The baked goods were just the cherry on top of having an excellent assistant. He was definitely the best one I’d ever had, a really fast learner for sure, but his competence as an office worker was second to his ability to cater to my often insatiable hunger. A month of Parker’s special treatment was damaging to my waistline. Being catered to by him turned me on beyond belief, and it was something new for me. In my past relationships, my love of food was never celebrated. Parker’s eyes seemed to light up when I munched on whatever he brought me. “It’s not too chocolatey?” he’d asked, pushing another confection my way. It was never too chocolatey. It was always perfect, just like him.
He greeted me with baked goods each morning and made sure to say goodbye before heading out every evening, carrying with him an empty Tupperware container or pie dish. Aside from the extra thousand-plus calories a day I was inhaling from his delicious goodies, he always made sure to have lunch delivered for me.
He talked to me more than any of my other assistants ever had. Almost like he was trying to get to know me on a more personal level. It had me looking forward to going to work, a feeling I hadn’t had in quite a while. It might have been unintentional, but Parker’s interest, even if it was just platonic, was boosting my ego. My old assistants barely ever looked in my direction, but this guy wanted to know what my favorite movies were and what I liked to do for fun. This attention from him was electrifying. My brain knew being this infatuated with him was no good, but my heart (and my stomach) didn’t care.
Even now, none of the interns or other assistants ever talked to me unless absolutely necessary. That didn’t mean I wasn’t a topic of conversation. They all definitely talked about me. I was big, yes. But I also had a resting serious face. Combined with my intimidating frame, they thought of me as some sort of beast. I once made an intern cry during a pitch meeting because I “looked like I was going to bite her head off.” I now made more of an effort to smile, even when there was no reason to. I also tried to ignore the implications of this, considering I was one of four black men on staff.
To the other execs, I was more of the office joke. I was younger than most of them by fifteen years, so they viewed me as some sort of kid brother. It was always a crack here or a joke there. When I landed the Nike account they all thought it was the funniest thing to ever happen in the history of the world.
“Andy?” one of them had guffawed, barely able to get out what he wanted to say. “When was the last time you saw the inside of a gym? And Nike went with your pitch?”
But it was something I had become accustomed to; all throughout school I was the big guy people joked about or avoided. Adults always thought I was with the wrong group of kids in elementary school because I was a head taller than the other boys. As if I wasn’t already too big, I had another growth spurt the summer before freshman year of high school. At fourteen my dad began teaching me how to lift weights. My body developed rapidly, and it took me a long time to get comfortable with those changes. By the time I was eighteen, I was larger than my father, who was by no means a small man. My weight sort of leveled out in my early twenties, and I graduated college at my current height and 270 pounds.
Joining the workforce was frightening, yet liberating. I had disposable income and the ability to make my own life decisions. I began working where I was currently employed as a copywriter two months after getting my degree. Lots of late nights and hard work helped me rise in the ranks. I was promoted to the executive level three years ago, and had run through five assistants in that time. I was now thirty-two, unmarried, and a little stifled.
I spent most of my time working. I hadn’t had a hookup in literal years, and to be frank, I didn’t see one happening in the near future. I used to be able to lean into being the big, burly guy who’d had one too many beers. I walked the line between dad-bod and straight-up fat guy for as long as I could before I was promoted. Being an executive meant a lot more responsibility and a lot less free time. My tri-weekly lifting sessions were now a thing of the past. I thought I could stand to lose a few pounds then, but now I was over 350 pounds.
Having Parker as my assistant only exacerbated my feelings of loneliness (and horniness). He probably didn’t even know I was gay and very much into his tight slacks and obedient disposition. The last month had been amazing, yet torturous.
“I have your forms, Mr. Reynolds.”
I told him he could call me Andy, or even just Andrew, but he never did. It was about lunch time and I was getting a bit restless. Maybe I’d run off my other assistants with my multiple food orders throughout the day. I seemed to simply exist in a state of hunger. I was also slightly convinced I couldn’t do my best work on an empty stomach.
I looked at Parker standing in front of me. His dark brown hair was short and very stylish. My hair was cut in a neat fade and my facial hair was thick. I’d kept a standing appointment with my barber every Sunday morning at ten for the last five years.
“Thank you,” I said, holding out my hand to take the manila folder that contained the forms from him. Like some cheesy porno with ridiculous circumstances to set up a sexual scenario, the folder fell through my fingers, all the papers scattering on my office floor.
“Oh, sorry!” he exclaimed. “That’s my bad.” He bent over to pick up the documents, noticing there were more papers to gather than he first realized. He then got on his knees in front of my desk and once again I got to take in his beautiful ass. The fabric of his slacks pulled tight against his butt. His back was slightly arched, as if advertising himself to me. What I wouldn’t give to be bucking my hips behind him. I thought about fucking him constantly, and it had become an obsession. I’d definitely gotten the vibe that he was gay, but I had some serious doubts he’d ever want to hook up with me. “Here you go,” he said, hopping to his feet and handing me the papers.
Almost like it was trying to embarrass me and purposely kill my arousal, my stomach growled.
“Sorry,” I said. I couldn’t believe how hot my face got. My stomach growling was only going to draw attention to the fact that I was twice his size. The portion of goodies I received from Parker at the start of the day was on the smaller side, so that hadn’t helped to dull my hunger pains.
“It’s okay.” He smiled. “It’s lunchtime.” I felt my face go hot once more.
“Yeah, I guess I am kind of hungry.”
“You’re a pretty big guy. I get it.” He fidgeted with one of the buttons on his dress shirt. “Do you, maybe, want to take lunch with me today?”
“I’ve never eaten with one of my assistants before,” I said, in disbelief he wanted to spend time with me outside of the office.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can just pick something up for you if you’d prefer—”
I stood quickly, not wanting to pass up any opportunity to talk to him about topics not related to copies or signatures or meetings. My gut shook a bit with the momentum. The buttons had given me a difficult time when getting dressed, and I needed to get some new shirts.
“I’m free for lunch,” I exclaimed. “We can go now.”
There were a ton of restaurants in the downtown area. I asked what he wanted to eat and he deferred to me, claiming he wanted me to get whatever I was craving. If I were able to get whatever I was craving, it would be the Parker Jeong meal, extra sauce. He’d probably think that was so cringe. I sighed to myself.
“There’s this place called The Coop,” I said, giving my second choice for lunch. “They serve Nashville style hot chicken.”
At the restaurant he got a normal sized portion of food for a normal sized person, and I wanted to be good, but I needed to replace the lust I was feeling with something else, and that something else was two Nashville hot chicken sandwiches, a large fry, baked beans, coleslaw, and a strawberry mint frozen lemonade.
He didn’t even bat an eye, offering to pick up our trays while I waited at the table. I knew he was just being nice to me because I was his boss. I’d paid for the food, so he was probably just still in assistant mode.
“Order up,” he said, returning to where we sat, setting my overstuffed tray in front of me.
“Thank you,” I said, taking in his tray with three tenders and a medium fry.
“Do you like to eat here a lot?” he asked, sipping from his unsweetened iced tea. Coming from someone else, that would’ve felt like a jab, but from him it just felt conversational.
“I do like this place a lot. Especially for the downtown area. The portions aren’t skimpy and it tastes pretty good too.”
“What other places do you like?”
“Oh, well that’s easy,” I said, digging into my first sandwich. “There’s Tripp’s for seafood, Curry House for Indian, Miss Janie’s for BBQ, oh yeah—Sub Daddy has these huge hoagies. Best in the city. And they’re open late!”
“Sub Daddy?” he laughed. “What kind of name is that?”
“Well, maybe they’re leaning into the innuendo?”
“Hmm, maybe,” he said, looking down at his tenders. “We’ll have to eat there together soon, though Dom Daddies are actually more my speed.”
Was that directed towards me? There was no chance. Absolutely no way. He wasn’t flirting. He wasn’t coming on to me. But still—even if his comment meant nothing, I could feel myself getting hard.
I took another big bite of my sandwich, trying not to fuck things up. If I lost another assistant they’d probably open an investigation or something to figure out what I did to keep running them off.
“So, um, how’s your food?” I asked, deflecting.
The vibes never quite got back on track after that. I was too wound up and way too invested in my food. If my inability to hold conversation wasn’t enough to scare him off, me stuffing my face for fifteen minutes straight surely did the job.
We made our way back to the office and finished up for the day. It was a little after five when Parker peeked his head into my office.
“Have a good night, Mr. Reynolds.” He hesitated for a moment. “Oh, and thanks for lunch.”
“No problem. I enjoyed your company.” I did enjoy his company. Even with how poorly I felt things went, it was nice being out in public with him. I had to remind myself it wasn’t a date and only lunch between colleagues.
“About the joke I made,” he started, stepping completely into my office and closing the door. “I am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon.”
“Don’t even sweat it,” I said, knowing I sent him into this spiral because I was now inept at talking to cute men. Things had been so much easier ten years ago.
“I am gay,” he continued. “I know some people feel a type of way about that sort of thing. I just don’t want it to ruin our relationship.”
“You don’t need to disclose your sexual orientation, there are policies in place to protect people from discrimination in the workplace and I’d never treat you poorly because of something like that because—”
“Because you’re a really good boss, I know. I’m sorry I even thought you’d treat me differently. It’s just—the real world is way different than a college campus.”
I was about to come out to him. What did I even think was going to happen? Were we going to fuck, me taking control as his sought after Dom Daddy? I was being ridiculous. Of course he was concerned about his career.
“Are you going to be much longer?” he asked.
“Yeah, I have to catch up on some work for that supercenter presentation next week.” He started to take off his jacket. “No need to do that, Parker.”
“I can help,” he said.
“No, that’s okay. Don’t ruin your evening,” I said, still feeling embarrassed by this whole debacle. I could use his help. The copy room was unbearably small and I didn’t want to have to keep squeezing in and out of there.
“But if you need my help, I can help.” He smiled. “It’s my job. I’m your assistant.”
I was glad he wanted to help me. He was truly the best assistant I‘d ever had and not just because he had such a fantastic ass. I didn’t want to come across as demanding or difficult to work with, but selfishly, I wanted to spend more time with him.
“Well, okay,” I relented. “As long as you’re free.”
“I’ll order us something from Sub Daddy,” he said, heading back out to his station. “It’s been hours since lunch. You can’t focus on an empty stomach.”
After that, we worked late a lot, and went to lunch together even more often. He was more than willing to try new restaurants with me, always encouraging me to order as much as I wanted. He always offered to treat me, but I never let him. What sense did that make? He only ever ate a fourth of what I did.
His personality was pleasant, which didn’t make it easier for me to stifle my crush on him. Who wouldn’t be into him? He was smart, hardworking, fun, and considerate. He knew how to bake and never made me feel bad about eating what I wanted. I had gotten into the habit of eating more and more when I was around him. I hardly noticed until all the food was gone. I found myself to be less nervous when I was stuffing my face. It felt less likely that I’d say something dumb. When I was 70 pounds lighter, I was way more willing to flirt or say something corny to make a guy laugh. But now I felt like everything I said or did seemed desperate. And so instead of talking, I stuffed my face. In the two months Parker had been working with me, I’d gained ten pounds.
On our late nights, I always told him he could leave but he never did. Not once.
That was enough to keep my delusional fantasies about him going.
He started mentioning clubs and bars, asking if I’d ever want to go with. I figured it was just a gesture, and I was way too rusty to ever take him up on the offer, but maybe one day I could. The more I got to know him, the more I found myself thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was interested in me too.
My pants had gotten even tighter; I needed some new ones. My thighs filled them out completely and my ass was getting pretty big too. I’d never gotten around to getting those new shirts, and now I needed new pants. I had to face it. I was fat, and with my habits, I was just going to keep getting fatter.
It was late October, and one of the other execs was celebrating his fiftieth. His assistant and a few of the interns had organized a little office party for him after lunch. I’d already eaten these really delicious chocolate covered pretzel sticks Parker made me and something he’d picked up for me from The Coop for lunch.
Everyone filed into our largest conference room. There were a few toasts and it was a decent time overall. Then the cake was revealed. It was from a nice bakery near our office that people always used when doing festive things like this.
It was time to admit to myself that I loved sweets, and with Parker’s kind gestures, I had tried tons of things I’d never eaten before.
I moseyed on over to the cake, planning to only have a piece. Just enough to be polite to the planning committee. But it was delicious. It was a strawberry lemon layer cake, the perfect marriage between tart and sweet flavors. The lemon cake layers were separated by a delightful strawberry compote (a term I’d learned from Parker), which was also incorporated into the rich buttercream frosting.
By the time I finished my (substantial) piece, Parker discreetly replaced my empty plate with another that had an even larger slice. He did this three more times while we mingled with others from the office. I must have ended up having a third of that cake to myself.
Returning to my office after the celebration gave me time to reflect. I tried to get some work done, but it was hard to focus, especially with the buttons on my yet to be replaced shirt and slacks straining.
What was Parker trying to do? Was he simply being an attentive assistant or was he subtly making fun of me? Or maybe I was just too in my head and he was attracted to me? He’d never done or said anything that alluded to disliking me because of my size. But that didn’t mean he was attracted to me because of it either. I looped through variations of the same arguments over and over.
I must’ve overanalyzed those different scenarios for a good fifteen minutes before shifting my focus back to work. I’d already sent Parker to the art department to collect some mock-ups we’d need, but I couldn’t move forward in my current task without making some photocopies.
I was going to have to face the dreaded copy room.
Minutes later, I stood outside of the copy room. I paused momentarily to psych myself up before proceeding. The room was not spacious to begin with, but with multiple built-in cabinets full of office supplies on one wall and a line of photocopiers on the other, the only space for a person to move was a narrow strip of floor down the middle of the room. I walked up the aisle to one of the machines in the center of the room.
So far, so good. I made one of my copies, and proceeded to the next. Still good. I moved on to my last document. That’s when the machine jammed.
“Fuck me,” I said to myself, sighing. I took a step back, my ass already brushing against a cabinet. I leaned forward, opening the side panel and noticing the jammed paper immediately. This would be an easy fix, thankfully. I was bending my knees slightly, and I could feel the fabric of my slacks pulling tight against my beefy behind. It might have just been my anxiety, but I swear I could feel the stitch on the rise of my pants stretching to its limit. I made a mental note to myself that at this point some new items in my wardrobe were necessary, not optional.
I removed the jammed paper, made my last copy, and swiftly made my exit from that claustrophobic space. Bull in a china shop, meet Andrew Reynolds in the copy room.
I paused for a moment, as I could hear Parker’s voice.
“I really should be getting back.”
“Come on, Parker. You can’t actually like working with Andy.” I backpedaled before I could be seen. It was Antoinette, one of the office gossips. She’d been close with my previous administrative assistant.
“Yeah, I do,” Parker said, sounding somewhat bothered. “He’s really very nice. And super smart.” Whoa. He was actually sticking up for me. I could hardly believe it.
“You’re gay, right?”
What a segue. Antoinette was likely upset he wasn’t down to badmouth me, ready to move the conversation in a direction she found more interesting.
“Uh, yeah, I am,” he said, his tone slightly more annoyed.
“You don’t like him, do you?” Antoinette pushed. “Because you’re probably barking up the wrong tree with that one. He’s never been with anyone since I started here, and it’s been seven years.”
“Mr. Reynolds might just be a private person. He could have a wife and kids at home. You don’t know.” At this, she laughed.
“I highly doubt that.” Parker likely made a face, as she then said, “Now don’t give me that look. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I hadn’t realized how much you looked up to Andy.” She couldn’t have sounded more sarcastic.
“Like I said,” he reiterated. “I really should be getting back.”
“Okay, wait. I only bring it up because there’s someone else in the office who is interested in you.” She sounded like some sort of matchmaker.
“Toni, please.” He sounded even more irritated. “I don’t think my love life is any of your business, and I don’t need you to hook me up with anyone.”
“Mark is the one that wanted me to talk to you. He really likes you,” Antoinette continued. Mark was a copywriter that had started two or three years after I did. He’d never gotten over the fact that I’d been promoted and he hadn’t.
“I’m flattered, truly,” Parker replied. “But please tell him I’m not interested.”
“Fine, but here’s his card anyway.” There was a slight pause. “But you’ve got to be real with me. Working with Andy must be hard. I heard from his last assistant that he was so demanding, and not about work matters. She spent most of her time placing food orders and picking up his take-out.” She laughed. “Did you see all that cake he ate at Dave’s party this afternoon? That’s why he’s not with somebody. Who wants to date a pig?” I felt my stomach tighten in embarrassment.
“Watch how you speak about my boss,” Parker responded. “This conversation is over.”
“Fine, I swear—” I could hear her heels clicking on the linoleum of the hallway as she walked away from the corner in which they’d been speaking. I could then hear Parker’s steps as he headed towards the copy room.
I froze.
What could I do? There was nowhere to hide. I was in the world’s smallest copy room, and even if there was somewhere to hide, there was no way I’d fit into that hiding spot. I just stood there, ready to face the awkwardness. He turned the corner quickly, bumping into my stomach.
He stumbled back, almost losing his balance. He dropped all the samples from the art department. I could feel that tight feeling in my stomach again, my mouth going dry. He must have known I was listening.
“Mr. Reynolds?” he mused. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” He knelt down and started picking up the papers.
“No apologies, please. It’s my fault.”
I bent over quickly to help him and there was a loud ripping sound. The same seam in my pants that had worried me moments before gave way. I could tell immediately that my pants had split down the back.
I stood up straight immediately. I could feel his eyes on my face.
“Andrew,” he said softly.
No, not the pity. I could feel it coming, and that would make me feel worse. I pushed past him, leaving him alone in that tiny room to gather the scattered papers. I waddled awkwardly back to my office to grab my jacket. I didn’t want the pants to rip anymore than they already had. I needed to get some new slacks.
Taking a moment, I looked in the mirror on the back of my office door. My blue button up shirt didn’t hide my large, round belly. I’d really let things get bad these last few months. I had completely lost all restraint since meeting Parker. I was happy-eating when he brought me his baked goods. I was nervous-eating when we went out to lunch together. I was sad-eating at home when I thought about how much it sucked to have unrequited feelings.
My love handles sloped away from my torso down over the side of my pants. My pants looked like they’d been painted on my meaty thighs. When did my face get so round? If I shaved my beard how many chins would I find? More than the one I remembered when I started working here ten years ago? I had once had a square jaw, but I knew now it would be backed by a second chin, with a new layer of fat likely being formed behind that. My round cheeks made my eyes look smaller than they were in my youth. I even had a light dabbling of sweat on my forehead from my dash back into my office.
“Mr. Reynolds?” Parker called gently as he knocked at my door. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said, speaking slowly. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” he inquired.
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to head out for an errand, so please make sure you reschedule the rest of my meetings this afternoon.”
“Do you need to go shopping?” he asked.
I could have leaped from my office window—and we were on the twentieth floor. Any chance of ever being with Parker was surely ruined. I needed to rip off the Band-Aid and get this interaction over with. I opened my office door.
“I could help you pick some things out,” he suggested. “I am your assistant. And I know it’s a stereotype, but I have a pretty good fashion sense.” He was trying so hard to be nice to me.
“This is my problem.” I was still speaking slowly, forcing the words out in a way that likely came off as short. “This is a personal matter, not something to do with work.”
He didn’t say anything. He turned and walked over to his desk, rummaging in one of the drawers. He held a tiny sewing kit in his hands as he strode back over to where I stood. He placed his hand on my stomach, pushing me back into the office before closing the door.
“I understand you would rather shop alone, but I’m not going to let my boss walk around with a split in his pants.” What was he expecting me to do? Strip? There was no way.
“Parker—”
“We don’t have to make a big deal out of this, sir,” he said. “Just take off your pants and hand them here. I can mend them in less than fifteen minutes.”
“Really, that’s not necessary.”
He just stood there, looking at me expectantly. I didn’t want to walk around exposed until I could get to a clothing store. It would only take him fifteen minutes. I took a deep breath and unbuckled my belt. It was a brown leather material that matched my loafers, which I’d slid out of before shimmying out of my too-tight navy slacks.
I could see myself in the mirror behind my office door again. Here I was in my boxer briefs, Parker standing right in front of me, and it wasn’t a scenario I’d previously imagined. He crouched down in front of me, grabbing the pants so I wouldn’t have to bend over.
He inspected the rip for a moment. “This is perfect. It’s not frayed or anything.”
“You really think you can fix them?”
“A temporary fix, yes.” He walked towards one of the extra chairs in my office and had a seat. Things were silent for a few minutes as he threaded the needle and got started on the repair. I’d taken a seat behind my desk and watched him work.
His skin was so smooth, his lips kissably full, his nose a little large for his face.
“I can see why these split,” he said, not looking up from his work. His words abruptly hit me and filled the silence in a way that sat heavy on my mind.
“Me too.” He still hadn’t looked up at me. He just continued mending my pants.
“I knew I needed new ones, and I—” The words got caught in my throat. I was already embarrassed, so maybe it was time for me to just speak honestly, but speaking honestly kind of felt like admitting defeat. It felt like I was giving up on taking things in an intimate direction with Parker. “I’ve been putting it off. They probably could’ve held on a bit longer, but I’ve put on some weight recently.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Guys like you don’t get it. You could have anyone you wanted.”
“What if I wanted you, Andrew?”
He finally looked up from his work. I must’ve been looking at him stone faced, because his bravado faltered almost immediately.
“Mr. Reynolds—I’m so sorry. That was out of line.”
Parker’s confession allowed me to push past that voice in my head that explained away all the things he did as platonic. He liked me. He wanted me. He’d said so himself.
Before the self-doubt set in, I had to shoot my shot. I’d sulk about my split pants late at night years from now, but right at this moment I refused to return to that negative place. He wanted a Dom Daddy, and that was a role I was more than willing to play.
“What if I told you I wanted to fuck you right now?” His face reddened considerably. I’d never seen him so worked up before, and that made me more confident. “Since the day I hired you, I’ve thought about what it’d feel like to be inside of that sweet ass.”
“Sir—”
“C’mere,” I said in a low voice. He stood, placing my slacks in the seat he’d gotten up from, and gingerly made his way to where I sat behind my desk. He looked down at me slightly as I sat, but we were essentially still on eye level with one another. I could see his chest rising and falling with each breath he took, his lips parted slightly in lust. He pressed his crotch into my gut as he leaned down to kiss me. I could feel his erection through his khakis.
I reached up and palmed his ass, holding a cheek in each hand. He really was stacked back there. He moaned slightly, pressing his dick further into my stomach. We continued kissing, and I pulled him even closer into myself.
I could have kissed him like this for hours, but he pulled away after a few minutes. His palms were pressed against my sagging chest, which sat atop my heavy middle. He slid his hands down my front before resting them on the part of my gut that sat out the farthest. Normally, my first instinct would have been to suck it in, but I realized how useless that would have been. There was no hiding it anymore.
He patted my stomach gently before moving his hands beneath it, lifting it and bouncing it up and down slowly. I could see his hardness through his khakis, so it was clear that he was enjoying himself. If I were to be honest with myself, I was enjoying the belly play too. I’d never had someone focus so intently on my gut before.
I stood up, and he tilted his head back to continue meeting my gaze. I had to play this correctly. I knew he made a joke about liking dominant men, but I wasn’t certain it was actually what he was into.
“Get on your knees,” I said, staring down at him.
“Yes sir.”
He knew what I wanted. He pawed at my underwear until it was around my ankles. My dick bobbed freely now, level with his line of sight. The closer he got to me, the harder I got and the harder it was to see him. He reached up with one hand to hold my belly out of the way and with the other he grabbed the base of my dick.
“Get to work,” I instructed. I grabbed a fistful of his hair as he wrapped his mouth around my dick. It had been a while, but I couldn’t recall a better blow. He was a perfectionist in every sense of the word. His one hand gently massaged the base of my gut as he continued sucking me off. I’d been with people who liked that I wasn’t rail thin, but never with someone like Parker. Everything was adding up. The special treats, the lunches together, the cake at the party this afternoon. He liked me being fat, and I was now fairly certain he wanted me even fatter. “I’m about to cum.”
He didn’t stop his work. He simply slowed his pace, teasing my dick with his tongue in a different way. The switch in sensation caused me to erupt. A heavy stream of cum shot from my dick into his mouth and he made sure to get every last drop. I let go of his hair, stepping back so I could have a seat.
I was panting heavily, my underwear around my ankles, gut rising and falling with each deep breath I took. He looked up at me from his place on the floor. His hair was disheveled and his face was flushed. I could still see his erection through his khakis. Damn, he was the hottest guy I’d ever seen. I could hardly believe he was experiencing such intense lust over me.
“You’re something else,” I said, still catching my breath. “And I can’t believe it, but I’d kill for another piece of that cake right now.”
That had him up on his feet, speed-walking from my office and back to the conference room. He was so out of it, he’d probably run to that bakery to get me another piece if he had to.
This shift in our relationship was going to be interesting.
I wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen immediately following our initial sexual encounter, but we went about our weekends like nothing had changed. After eating one of the final slices of that cake from the office party, I left early to purchase some new clothing items. He texted me, and I replied, but neither of us mentioned what had happened.
So Monday morning came and I had spent the entire weekend eating optimistically. I thought about how much he’d want me to be eating good. At one point, I googled “gay fat fetish” and found there was a whole world of people not only into big guys, but into big guys getting even bigger. Maybe he’d bring it up, but now I wanted to test the waters a little. What sort of things would get him going? I was excited to find out. Monday morning, I was hard the entire commute to work thinking about demolishing whatever Parker planned to put in front of me.
I walked into the elevator, pressing the button that would lead me to the twentieth floor. I noticed Parker making his way toward the elevators. Just seeing him existing in the world made me so fucking happy. I almost didn’t even notice that Mark was right next to him. I hit the door open button quickly, wanting to be near Parker as soon as possible, even if that meant sharing the space with Mark. The doors stayed open, and they both got on.
“Good Morning, Mr. Reynolds.” He smiled up at me. He was carrying a tote bag, and like some sort of sugar-addicted bloodhound, I was almost certain I could smell cinnamon.
“Parker, hey,” I said, covering my crotch with my bag. Just hearing him say my name was turning me on, giving me a semi. “It’s nice to see you.”
“Hello Andrew,” Mark said. To be completely honest, I’d blocked him out almost immediately. He and I weren’t on the best terms, especially after my promotion.
“Hey Mark.”
“Are you still hitting the gym?” he asked. “Since you got that promotion, I’ve noticed a change in your appearance. I’m sure you’re eating well on that executive salary.”
“I do have a hand in that,” Parker said plainly. “Mr. Reynolds is very kind to indulge my personal baking hobby.”
“But still,” Mark pressed. “Sometimes we’ve got to push ourselves, you know? Once you hit thirty it takes more effort to stay in shape.”
“I think he looks great,” Parker offered, turning to look at Mark. He gave him an obvious once over, his eyes traveling from the top of his head all the way to his shoes. “Do you work out, Mark?”
“Yeah, I do actually,” Mark responded proudly. “Six days a week.”
“Really?” Parker inquired. “I’d have never thought that.”
The man was too stunned to speak.
We all stood silent, the whir of the elevator’s mechanisms the only source of sound. The elevator finally stopped on our floor. Parker and I went towards my office while Mark made his way to his cubicle. Parker placed the tote bag on his desk and I stopped for a moment.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said, giving a knowing smile.
“I didn’t say anything I didn’t mean.”
“You’re something else.”
“I’m nothing special,” he said, removing two Tupperware containers from the tote bag. “So today you have options. You could have some millionaire shortbread bars or carrot cake cinnamon rolls.”
“Or? You act like I’m not going to polish off both of these containers before we head out for lunch.”
“Uh—well, I—I didn’t think you’d want—”
He looked up at me in surprise, like he’d been found out. I’d known Parker for a couple of months now, and I’d never seen him so flustered. It made me weirdly satisfied. He wanted me to eat? He wanted me to put on a few pounds? If he kept blowing me like he had last week, I’d eat whatever he wanted for the rest of my life.
“I bought some new pants, so I can probably keep indulging for a little while. I need my assistant to make sure I don’t go hungry. That’s not a problem, is it?”
“No, sir,” he said. “Not a problem at all, sir.”
“I didn’t think it would be.” I grabbed both containers and went into my office, peeling off both lids and diving into the baked goods with unabashed enthusiasm. Over that first hour of the day, I ate a dozen shortbread bars and six hefty cinnamon rolls.
Once I’d finished both desserts, I sat back at my desk. I felt my chair sag, groaning slightly as I allowed my bulk to settle into the seat. This was so unhinged. What was happening to me? Maybe it was all the sugar, but I was in some sort of stupor. My only thought was how I wanted Parker between my legs again, his hands all over my gut. I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. I must’ve sat there for about ten minutes before there was a knock at my door. “Mr. Reynolds?”
“Come in.” Parker opened the door and walked up to my desk. I watched him survey the scene. I laughed a little to myself at the shocked expression on his face as he took in both containers sitting empty in front of me.
“You already finished the–the–the shortbread bars?”
“And the cinnamon rolls,” I added. “They were both phenomenal. You’ve got quite the talent.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I only wish I’d had some milk to wash it all down with.”
“I’ll make sure to remember that for next time.”
“There is something you could do for me right now,” I said. He looked back at my office door, which he’d left open. He went over to the door and closed it quietly.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Reynolds?”
“You could get that ass over here, for starters.”
He made his way to where I sat behind my desk, like he had on Friday. We looked at one another for a moment, both taking in the moment. It probably wasn’t smart to fuck my assistant before 10 AM on a Monday, but I’d spent nearly two years involuntarily celibate.
“Get undressed.”
He didn’t question me. He immediately began unbuttoning his crisp, white dress shirt. He tossed it on my desk and then peeled his undershirt off over his head. He shimmied out of his navy-colored chinos. He was in nothing but a pair of stylish briefs. It was obvious he worked out, as his quads bulged with muscle as did his arms. He had well-defined abs, firm pecs.
His body was completely opposite to my own. My legs and arms were large, yes, but not defined with muscle as they had been in the past. I’d never had abs in my entire life. My stomach sat heavy in front of me, packed full of sugary snacks. And even though I’d just eaten enough baked goods for a small get-together, I was already thinking about what I’d be having for lunch.
“What’re we doing for lunch?” I asked. His whole face reddened, all the way to his ears. I reached out to pull him closer, so I could feel his body with my mouth. I kissed his chest softly, enjoying his scent in the process. “I asked you what we’re doing for lunch.”
He moaned loudly.
“Last—last week you mentioned you wanted an—an Italian beef from—” I bit his nipple gently, sucking it afterwards. “Big Beef’s.”
“Fuck that sounds good. With extra hot peppers and a cheese sauce on the side.” He pawed at his briefs, exposing himself to me. He had a nice dick, a respectable size. He was getting off on this for sure. I let go of his waist and began to unbutton my own shirt. He watched me intently, still stroking his penis. I tossed it on the desk with his clothing items.
He paused his masturbatory efforts to help me remove my undershirt. His briefs were now around his ankles and he pressed his dick into my gut. I grabbed at his ass, lightly teasing his hole with my finger as he grinded against me. He didn’t last long after that, coming all over my bloated stomach. He took a step back. Looking down, I could see his cum glistening as it coated the fuzz of my belly. “You’re not done,” I said, lifting my gut to reveal my belt buckle.
A man of excellent intuition, Parker immediately got me out of my pants and gave me some very thorough head.
Oh, and lunch at Big Beef’s that afternoon was stupendous.
We fell into a routine that made every work day well worth it. He was still bringing me his baked goods (beverages now included). We left the office whenever possible to grab a bite to eat during our lunch hour, and when we couldn’t get away he made sure to pick something up for me or to have it delivered. But the best part had to be our sexual escapades. I’d had nearly every part of his body in my mouth at least once. And he was excellent at taking direction. I was pretty sure at this point that he craved it, being told what to do. He was my good boy, doing what I requested, often going above and beyond like there was a chance of being promoted.
From the end of October to the start of the winter holidays, he and I were completely engrossed with one another. Although, even with how intense things had been within the four walls of my office, we had yet to move beyond them.
It was now the second week of December. I was nearing 400 pounds, a thought that was slightly frightening to me. I’d never been this big in my entire life. People around the office had taken notice of my rapid weight gain. It was the elephant in the room. But the food was good, and the sex mind-blowing. I was also intoxicated by Parker’s adoration. With each pound I gained, he seemed to get more and more excited to service me. I wondered how much longer my wardrobe would last before needing to be updated again.
“Excuse me, Mr. Reynolds.” I looked up from the email I was drafting. “I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”
“Yeah? What is it?” I inquired, wondering what it was Parker had been mulling over. He was shifting his weight back and forth, nervously smiling in my direction like the day I hired him.
“Well, my parents bought me these tickets to a musical a few weeks ago, and I know that it’s last minute, but I was really hoping you would come with me to see it.”
“A musical?”
“What can I say?” he offered, shrugging slightly. “I’m as stereotypical as they come.”
“When is it?” I asked.
“Tomorrow.” A Saturday.
Was Parker trying to take things to the next level? This was an exciting development. I would love to spend time with him outside of working hours. I could only imagine how much fun we’d have late into the evening post dinnertime.
“If it’s too much, I understand.”
Too much? Not at all. We both wanted more. It was like a weight had been lifted from me (metaphorically, of course). The office sexcapades were nice, there was no doubt about that, but he too wanted to be more than just a hook-up.
“You just can’t get enough of me, huh?”
He laughed.
“I’m kind of obsessed, can’t you tell?”
“I love being adored,” I said, smiling at him playfully. “And now I’m really looking forward to this musical tomorrow. What’s the runtime? Over two hours, I’m sure. I’ll probably need to eat something beforehand.”
“I’ll make a reservation,” he declared enthusiastically, always delighted at an opportunity to get me eating. I was only half-serious with my comment about needing to eat beforehand, but I wasn’t so sure I’d make it the two and a half hours without a meal prior to the curtain rising. I felt incredibly lucky. We’d be getting dinner and seeing a show (and hopefully having even more fun at one of our apartments after).
Once he made the reservation, he emailed over all the info—the restaurant, the reservation time, the name of the theater, the showtime. I could hardly wait. I’d be counting the milliseconds until then.
The next evening, I dressed to meet Parker for our date. I wore a pair of dark jeans and some Nikes. When I first landed that account, they’d sent over at least ten different pairs. I had lots of dress shirts that fit fairly well since I re-upped, but I wanted to be a little more casual. I found a burgundy crew neck in the back of my dresser that had been a staple in my wardrobe last winter. I pulled it on and found myself shocked at how it fit. I figured there’d be some resistance, but the fabric clung to my plump chest and protruding belly in a way that was much more form-fitting than I anticipated. I tugged at the bottom trying to pull it down to cover the entirety of my stomach. If I moved my arms too much, it exposed some of my brown skin, even though I was also wearing an undershirt.
My first inclination was to change. I wouldn’t have normally wanted to draw attention to my size. But I knew what Parker liked, and I loved pressing his buttons, so I put on my jacket and grabbed my keys, deciding to keep on the sweater. I hoped I wouldn’t come to regret my outfit choice later on.
I was right on time to Haraboji’s, and as I entered the restaurant, I noticed my perfectly punctual assistant had already beaten me to the establishment.
“Mr. Reynolds, over here!” He waved at me from a seat at the bar. I felt silly for being this excited, considering we ate together in restaurants every other day, but this was no work-lunch. This was a Saturday night dinner. A date.
“Parker, hey,” I said, smiling down at my companion for the evening. He was still wearing his jacket, a stylish, olive-green duffle coat. He had on a pair of platform Chelsea boots and dark chinos. “Please, call me Andy, or Andrew—even Drew would be fine.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” he said with a nervous chuckle. “I guess we aren’t in the office.”
“That’s exciting, isn’t it?”
“It is,” he replied. “I’ve wanted to eat here with you for months.”
“I’ve heard this place is really good.”
“Have you ever had Korean barbecue before?” he asked. “I haven’t been to a Korean restaurant since I moved here.”
“I haven’t, but you know I’ll try anything. I trust you to make sure I have something tasty.”
After that the hostess called Parker’s name and we were seated. It was pretty crowded, every table filled. In front of us was a little grilling station. Our waiter came and Parker took the reins, ordering what seemed like a lot of food for just two people. He asked for bulgogi, pork belly, garlic butter chicken, and brisket. He also ordered fried seaweed rolls and tteokbokki. Our waiter brought out a lot of little dishes with different vegetables on them.
“These are banchan—um, side dishes,” Parker explained. “They’re really good with the grilled meats. That one is cucumber, that one is potato, and that one is zucchini.”
“And that one is kimchi.”
“Yes, exactly!”
Our waiter returned with another worker to assist him. One of them held our appetizers, the other numerous plates of raw meat on a serving platter. Once all the plates were set out in front of us, it seemed truly excessive. Parker got to work immediately, oiling the grill and placing meat on it strategically. As things were cooked he piled them high on my plate. Everything tasted great and I followed every suggestion he gave me. “Eat this with that,” he’d say, hyper focused on his grilling. “Ooo, you’ve got to try that with this dipping sauce.”
Halfway through the meal, I noticed that he was no longer eating. I seemed to be his main priority. I was now regretting my earlier boldness when getting dressed for this outing. My sweater rose slightly on my stomach exposing the light layer of dark hair on my underbelly. Parker didn’t stop either, making sure to cook every piece of meat that had been provided to us.
“There’s also Korean fried chicken on the menu,” he said, having just finished grilling the last bit of bulgogi and pork belly. “They come in orders of four.”
I groaned slightly, sitting back in my seat and resting my hand on the top of my gut.
That was when the waiter returned, taking in my gorged state his face reddened on my behalf and he focused his attention on Parker. “Is there anything else I can get for you guys?”
“Yes, we wanted a double order of the fried chicken wings and a bottle of peach soju.”
The waiter glanced in my direction and then back at Parker. He probably couldn’t believe we were ordering more food. I couldn’t believe we were ordering more food, but my date was a man on a mission. We did have about forty minutes before we needed to be at the theater, but I still thought he was cutting it close.
“I’ll put that in right now.” I waited for our server to leave before speaking.
“I’m spilling out of my sweater and you're still shoving food in my direction.”
“Andy,” he said innocently. “You don’t want to be hungry while the show is going on. You said so yourself, remember?”
“How considerate of you,” I responded, sitting up. I grabbed my fork and started in on the last bit of meat he’d put on my plate. “And I can’t wait to thank you at my place after the show.”
After dinner at Haraboji’s, we made our way to the theater for the musical. I’d already parked my Buick Enclave in a parking garage on the same street as the restaurant. He informed me that he picked this restaurant not only because he’d been wanting to try it, but also because it was only a block away from where we’d be seeing the show.
I was so full I didn’t feel like doing anything, especially walking. I was perspiring a little bit so I left my jacket open to air myself out. I could feel a cool breeze on my stomach, but I just ignored it. Parker was leading the way, glancing my way every so often to check me out. If his parents hadn’t gone through the trouble of buying him these tickets, we’d already be halfway to my place.
We made it to the lobby and the worker scanned the tickets on Parker’s phone. There was about ten minutes until the show would start so we made our way to our seats. This was where things got awkward.
Personally, when purchasing tickets in advance, I always tried to get the seat closest to the aisle. But these two seats were right in the middle of a row. Not everyone was in their seats yet, but we’d still need to shimmy past five or so people. Parker seemed somewhat oblivious to this issue, and in his defense, he likely never faced this sort of problem. Being bigger meant anticipating any obstacle. Would there be a lot of walking? Would there be a lot of stairs? How sturdy were the seats? I’d always thought about these things, but having gained fifty pounds in the last five months created even more complications I needed to be ready for.
“Excuse us,” Parker said, making his way into the row. He got by the first person with ease, whereas the man needed to stand up for me and press himself as far back into his seat as possible. Even then, my gut pushed up against him as I made my way past him. This happened four more times until we made it to our seats.
I sat in the chair and it creaked loudly. It was a really tight squeeze. This was not a theater that had been updated this century. It had probably been forty or fifty years since there had been any type of alteration to the seating. The armrests could not be lifted, so I sat there as they dug into the sides of my bloated gut. Fuck, I thought. Maybe we shouldn’t have gone so hard at dinner.
“Isn’t there like a special section for bigger people?” the woman next to me asked the man she was with. She was at least trying to whisper, but considering the fact I was sitting right next to her that didn’t do much to keep me from hearing her. “It’s just, these seats are so small, you know? Even for someone regularly sized.”
I’d been feeling pretty good before all of this happened. I was used to people making comments. But something about this made me really think hard about what I’d been doing to my body. I was already fat. I’d already had horrible eating habits. But should I have let this thing with Parker push me so completely into gluttony? I was the one who had to deal with the wardrobe malfunctions and too-small theater seats.
Parker was a great person and a masterful lover, but he was also ten years younger than me. If this dalliance were to end, he could go about his life unchanged. But me? How much bigger would I be by the time he got bored of me?
“Andy,” Parker said, his hand on my thigh. “Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. This wasn’t the time or place to share my thoughts with him.
“I didn’t pick the seats,” he explained. “Next time, I’ll make sure that we’re on the end.”
“Thanks.” I exhaled, feeling a little better. Him saying that didn’t absolve all of my fears, but it reminded me of how thoughtful Parker was. Maybe he didn’t know what it was like to be my size, but he did try to consider how my size affected my day-to-day life.
The lights dimmed and the show started a few minutes later. It was pretty funny and the music was enjoyable. I never thought a musical adaptation of an 80’s fantasy-horror-comedy would be any good, but I’d see it again if given the chance. After the cast took their bows we waited for our row to clear out before we got up. I could tell he really enjoyed himself, so that made the two and half hours in that seat from hell worth it.
“I Ubered here from my apartment,” he said once we were outside.
“I’m in that parking garage by the restaurant,” I said. “I could give you a ride home.”
“You did say you needed to thank me at dinner.”
“Oh, I know just how to thank you.” It was nearly ten, and aside from the people who were also leaving the theater, there weren’t a ton of people around. I grabbed Parker’s hand and we went to my car. I asked him where he lived and other than that I just listened to all the fun facts he had about the production. We were soon out front. “You’re coming up, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, of course.” I parked and we made our way towards the entrance. He led me up some stairs to his fourth floor apartment. If he lived any higher, we’d have had to call it a night. His place was pretty small, a one bedroom. It was also super neat and tidy. Everything about Parker was that way.
He took off his jacket and hung it in the closet, offering to take mine too in the process. He told me to take a seat on the couch. I sat and realized how little it was. I guess a couch of this size was all he really needed, but it was more like a chair. I filled it up three-fourths of the way.
He carried in a tray with some vanilla oat milk and a container of cookies. He placed it on the coffee table and sat on the remaining one-fourth of sofa. “Consider these as a thank you for a great evening,” he said. “They’re lemon shortbread.”
“You must spend a fortune on butter and eggs.”
“Not at all, I just started buying in bulk when I realized I had someone to bake for.”
“I appreciate getting to eat everything you’ve made for me,” I said, pulling at my sweater, “though I should probably slow down on all the baked goods.” I looked in his direction, wondering how he’d take in that information. He looked a little hurt, a little embarrassed.
“Is everything okay, Andy?” he asked. “With us, I mean. I just thought—”
I could just keep all of these concerns to myself, but that wouldn’t solve anything. It was probably better to have this conversation now instead of later. “I’ve gained a substantial amount of weight since we started sleeping together. I know we haven’t put into words what this is, but I’m pretty sure you’re a feeder—or an encourager—which term is it?” I thought about all the information I found back when I investigated gay fat fetishes a few months ago.
“I think they’re pretty interchangeable.” He wasn’t looking at me. “And I guess that I am, yes.” He actually looked super pale. Was he scared? Did he think I was upset? I figured he was aware that he’d been found out months ago. He was always so focused on my weight and overfeeding me. His preferences were kind of obvious.
“I’m not upset,” I said, trying to sound reassuring. “If I’m being honest, I’m pretty into it.”
He looked up at me, relief overtaking his previously sullen expression. “You are?”
“I think you know I like to eat. And getting bigger is kind of hot when I have someone so into it.”
“I’m into it for sure.”
“My main concern is how serious you are, Parker.” He looked at me intently, waiting for me to continue speaking. “You’re young. You’re still fairly new to the area. When it comes down to it, you’re a hot commodity. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. With how big I was, with how big I’ve gotten, I’m limiting myself. My prospects were slim before, but I’ve probably made the margins even smaller in regards to my marketability.”
“Andrew, I am very serious about you,” he said. “You are the sexiest guy I’ve ever been with. You’re also the biggest guy I've ever been with. Whatever you’re comfortable with, I am willing to do. If you want to lose weight, that’s fine. If you want me to stop with the baking, that’s fine. I just want you. I like you.”
“I like you too. I have since you first started working for me.” Our eyes were locked on one another. This conversation felt so real, so needed. This guy was serious about me. What a relief. “And let’s not be too hasty about the baking. I’ll let you know if we need to slow down, Mr. Feeder.”
This caused his whole face to redden, all the way to his ears. I loved when that happened. It was so funny to see his emotions so clearly. “Now bring that container of cookies over here. I’m hungry.”
Maybe it was reckless of me. Maybe I should’ve taken the out Parker had offered me. But I kept on eating like I had been. I blew past 400 pounds as we entered the new year. He’d flown home for the holidays, so I spent time with my own family. They all showed great concern for how big I’d gotten, but that didn’t stop them from piling my plate high with soul food at Christmas dinner. That was just how my family operated. It’s why I was so big growing up to begin with.
That first Monday back after the winter holidays was nice because we were able to fall back into our normal routine, which included copious amounts of food and a great deal sex. While most people around the office set goals for having a healthier diet or joining a gym, I did nothing of the sort. It was somewhat freeing to know there was no resolution I was bound to break.
Over the first few months of the new year, Parker began spending more and more time at my apartment. Suddenly there was a toothbrush, and then extra pairs of underwear, and then, an item that let me know how serious things had gotten between us, his KitchenAid Stand Mixer.
“You’re here more than at your place,” I said one Saturday evening in April. We’d ordered pizza for dinner, and even though Parker had stopped eating thirty minutes ago, I was still working on an extra-large, tavern-style sausage and pepperoni. I’d already eaten some buffalo wings and a Caesar salad (for balance, of course). “When does your lease end?”
“Well, it ends August of this year.”
“Cancel it.”
“Cancel it?”
“Yeah,” I said, reaching for another slice. “I’ll pay whatever fee your landlord charges for breaking your lease.”
The next week he moved into my three-bedroom apartment. I had more than enough room for his stuff. Even his dollhouse-sized couch fit comfortably against a wall in the home office. This did mean my office baked goods were a thing of the past. They were never able to last long enough after he prepared them to be brought into work. Since meeting Parker nine months ago, I was now 75 pounds heavier.
Parker and I were going to take a long weekend for Memorial Day. We’d both put in for the day off on Friday and we wouldn’t need to return to the office until Tuesday. I’d rented a house up north, about three hours away. The Thursday before we were to leave, Parker frantically entered my office a little after we returned from lunch.
I was positively beached. We were both looking forward to the weekend and he excitedly ordered for me at Rockin’ Sushi. We had purchased enough sashimi, nigiri, and maki rolls for a party of five or six people.
My belly covered my lap almost to my knees when I sat. I normally didn’t dress so casually for the office, but today I was wearing a polo. The fabric was pulled tight around my stomach and I’d been massaging the sides of my gut before Parker came to find me. If he didn’t seem so distraught, I’d have asked him to take over.
“We can’t go out of town,” he said. “We have to reevaluate your accounts.”
“What?” I asked, my eyes half-open. “I have nine major accounts and twelve smaller ones. That’s more than all the other execs.”
“Yes, that’s true, but—” he stopped talking. He probably felt like he’d been overreacting, but I wanted to make sure his worries were quelled.
“Talk to me.”
“I heard from Mr. Monroe’s assistant, who heard from Mr. Otterly’s assistant, that Mr. Otterly plans to retire at the end of June.” John Otterly was well past the age for retirement. His presence at Hathaway and Associates was really just a formality at this point. He’d been an exec at our agency since the mid-seventies. In his prime, for sure, he was incredible at pulling in clients and coming up with catchy slogans for print ads. Now, he had only one major account for a failing brand of novelty gag-gifts. “They’re looking to promote someone, but they want to make the position more robust by taking some accounts from other executives.”
“Bullshit.”
“Agreed.” He watched me heave myself out of my desk chair. “What should we do?”
“Follow me.”
I might have moved a little bit more slowly these days, but with Parker’s help I’d acquired two new clients in the last nine months and strengthened our agency’s relationship with all my original accounts. I wasn’t just some overweight behemoth who didn’t do any work. I was a heavy hitter. I’d recently had a confidence about myself that, shamefully, came from the idolization and devotion Parker gave to me. I was the biggest I’d ever been, but I didn’t feel ashamed of myself. I was already going to draw attention entering a room so I might as well not give a fuck what people thought.
We stopped outside of William Hathaway’s office, whose grandfather had actually founded Hathaway and Associates almost a century ago. We executives kept things running while he received a great deal of the credit, considering he was only in office two days a week. He did hold a forty-five percent share on the board of directors, which was the largest portion of any member. This meant he had a great deal of influence when the board made the large decisions that affected day-to-day operations.
“He’s preparing to leave early for the holiday weekend,” his administrative assistant said plainly. She was also the office manager. Mr. Hathaway’s schedule allowed her to take on more responsibilities, so she helped to organize the tasks for the interns and other assistants. “He doesn’t want to be bothered, especially after the meeting he just had.”
“Martha,” Parker said gently, smiling in her direction. “Mr. Reynolds was hoping to speak with Mr. Hathaway before he left. If he’s not terribly busy, would you please let him?”
“I don’t know. He was pretty adamant that he didn’t want to see anyone else.”
“Didn’t you say your husband liked the chocolate-dipped almond biscotti I made you for your anniversary?”
“Those were divine,” she said, taking more interest in Parker’s plea. I remembered those biscotti. I’d eaten two test batches before he felt confident enough to share them with Martha.
“Weren’t they?” I added. “I don’t know how he does it, but he’s incredibly talented.”
“My husband’s birthday is coming up,” she pondered aloud. “Have you ever made a cake before?”
“Of course!”
They ironed out some details and settled on a tiramisu inspired layer cake. She hopped out of her seat giddily and went to inform Hathaway of our arrival. We got the go ahead to enter and there he was waiting for us behind his desk nursing a scotch.
“Reynolds, you’re bigger every time I see you.”
Hathaway wasn’t one to mince words.
“You’re one to talk. I’m not the only one carrying around a spare tire.” This made him laugh.
“I’m in my sixties, what’s your excuse?” He didn’t stop. “And I’ve got a spare tire, you’ve got a whole Goodyear.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, allowing him to think his ribbing had gotten to me. “I’m just eating good. And my assistant here is a master baker.”
“He is, eh?” Hathaway asked, drinking from his scotch. “You're the biscotti boy?”
“Yes sir. That’s me.”
“Martha, that stingy bitch, only let me have one. Said they were for her anniversary. I’ve got an anniversary. And a birthday.”
“I’ll get those dates from Martha, sir.” Hathaway gave an impressed smirk and took another sip from his drink.
After that, we were finally able to talk business. I asked about Otterly. His retirement was true, a decision “strongly encouraged” by all members of the board. The position being padded with the accounts of other executives was also true. We would be asked in the coming month to choose one or two of our large scale accounts to let go of. When I asked why they didn’t just cut the position, they were concerned about losing their lead copywriter, who voiced concerns about a lack of upward mobility at Hathaway and Associates. He claimed he’d be willing to walk away from the agency unless he was seriously considered for Otterly’s position.
That lead copywriter? Mark.
If it were anyone else, I would have thought twice about my next course of action. But for Mark? I couldn't care less.
“Well,” I started, hoping I was playing this right. “I say cut Otterly’s position. Give his few accounts to one of us execs, and if he walks, he walks.”
“He’s done good work,” Hathaway offered.
“You can save a great deal by cutting the position. Promote one of the junior copywriters to Mark’s position. And for good measure, Parker here can take the open junior copywriter role.” Parker made a sound of surprise but did his best to recover.
“Biscotti boy?”
“He’s got the Andrew Reynolds seal of approval.” This meant a great deal. I had the most accounts out of all eleven execs. I also had the greatest renewal rates. “I’d be losing the world’s greatest assistant, but I’d do anything for Hathaway and Associates.”
“My great-niece did just graduate from Columbia,” Hathaway said. “I’m sure she’ll need help finding a job with a degree in art history.” If I had to deal with another nepo-baby, so be it. I was keeping my accounts and helping Parker advance in his career.
“Just think about it,” I said, ending our conversation. As we left his office, Martha entered. Before the door closed completely, I heard him mentioning that the board needed to convene after the holiday weekend to vote about an important matter. I had a good feeling that things were going to change for my little Biscotti Boy.
We did still manage to make it up to the house I rented. Fortunately, it was somewhat secluded, the houses pretty far apart from each other. They were only really visible to one another from the front yard. Parker had a long list of grocery items he needed, so our first stop after checking into the rental was the local supercenter. He was obviously grateful for what I’d done in Hathaway’s office, and he spent the weekend showing me that gratitude with his culinary skills and physical flexibility. My favorite memory from our trip would be how he’d gotten me on the floor after grilling some brats and making s’mores.
“Okay, so bend your knees,” he said, swinging his leg around my waist after tossing me a pillow for underneath my head. There wasn’t a ton of space between my bent knees and my bulging belly, but Parker fit there perfectly. He looked down at me as he sat atop my waist, sliding all nine inches of my penis inside himself. He rested his hands on my stomach. Their warmth penetrated me to my core.
I reached up to grab at his butt as he rode me. It felt good in my hands, and the thought of what it looked like as I fucked him had me salivating. Always the hard worker, Parker swiveled his hips back and forth rhythmically. His dick was angled upwards, sandwiched between the bottom of my gut and his flat stomach. He leaned forward slightly, his hands sliding up my stomach to my chest. He grabbed my slightly puffy nipples and pinched them gently. That intensified the pleasure I was feeling and I lifted him slightly by raising my legs, pushing myself deeper inside of his ass.
“Oh God,” he moaned, sitting straight up. He bounced up and down like this for nearly a minute before he came. His cum shot up his front, some landing on the floor and on my gut. The look of sheer pleasure on his face was intoxicating. That did it for me too, and had me shooting my load as well.
We stayed on the floor longer than intended. I couldn’t get up just yet, so he covered both of our naked bodies with a large blanket and cuddled up close to me. Losing him as my assistant was going to be tough, but moments like these would make up for it.
Returning to work on Tuesday was fine. I’d have preferred another week in a secluded lake house with Parker, but the real world was waiting for us. Antoinette was in rare form, flitting from assistant to assistant spreading gossip. She was Hathaway and Associates' very own Lady Whistledown, though a lot less discreet.
Before lunch, the board met to discuss the future of Mr. Otterly’s position. Antoinette made sure everyone knew how they voted, openly voicing her dismay that her good friend Mark would not be shifting to an executive role, as John Otterly’s position would be closed and his accounts redistributed amongst some of the remaining executives.
The ball was now in Mark’s court. He could keep his current job or he could quit. I was hoping for the latter, so Parker could shine in the field he’d gone to school for.
We worked all day and at exactly five we clocked out. We entered the elevator and Mark followed behind us. “That’s some shit you pulled Andy,” he spat. I noticed a cardboard box in his hands.
“You’re referring to what exactly?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Oh please,” he said. “You get a little ass from your assistant and you’re bending over backwards to get him a promotion. It’s pathetic, but it makes a lot of sense. Why else would he ever waste his time trying to find your dick under that massive gut?”
“You’re out of line,” I said, stepping towards him.
“He’s a sneak and you’re a gullible, desperate, sorry excuse for a professional.” He was upset, understandably, but his job had still been intact. He could’ve continued in his role as lead copywriter, a position I held for over four years before my promotion, and one day he’d be seen as ready to move up in the agency. He’d only been lead copywriter for a year and a half, a role in which he’d been given when the previous lead stepped down to take care of her newborn twins. Mark expected things to be handed to him without putting in the work. Now he was throwing a tantrum, and he wanted to take out his anger on us because he thought we were easy targets.
“Have you ever considered the fact that you just aren’t that likable?” I asked, staring down at him, forcing him into the corner of the elevator. “You’re talented, sure, but you are just so fucking hard to like. Hathaway knows this, the other execs know this. Why do you think it was so easy to encourage them to close Otterly’s position? They don’t want to work any more closely with you than they already do.”
I looked down at the cardboard box. Like a baby, he’d quit when he didn’t get his way. “Or should I say did?”
The elevator stopped on the main floor and the doors opened. Mark looked up at me and then over at Parker. “Fuck the both of you,” he said, pushing past me with slight difficulty. Parker looked pretty mortified, his entire face red with embarrassment.
My little ingénue. He was still very green, and I loved that about him, but I needed him to stand up for himself if he was going to survive in this industry. People made jokes or rude comments. There’d be backstabbing and petty office gossip. At the end of the day it didn’t matter. I was proof of that. There’d been talk about my weight for months, and I was still one of the most successful people on staff.
I’d for sure been in a slump before I met Parker, but I was becoming the man I’d been in my early twenties (metaphorically, not physically). There was a lot less self-doubt and self-loathing. I liked looking at myself in the mirror. I knew that I was good at what I did, and I knew I just needed to carry myself like I had when I was grinding as a junior copywriter.
“That was really intense,” he said. We’d slowed, pausing in a stairwell. We were halfway between the lobby and the underground parking garage. “I would never sleep with you for that. I swear that I would never do that.”
“I know.” I felt myself smiling. It made me feel good that he liked me so much. His first thought was how I felt. He was always looking out for me, and if he did get a new role as a copywriter, no assistant would ever live up to what he was capable of.
“I love you,” he said, looking at me seriously. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that to me. How we’d gotten to this point, I’d never fully grasp, but I was glad that we did.
“I love you too,” I said. We were silent for a moment, and I took the opportunity to joke with him. “And I have to say, what an elaborate scheme you pulled. The baked goods, the lunches, the head. All for a promotion. You’re truly a mastermind.”
He laughed, swatting me on the ass. “And this is only Phase One. Mu-ha-ha.”
“What’s Phase Two?”
“Hmm, I’ll let you know when I think of it.”
“Maybe you aren’t the mastermind I thought you were—”
“Shut up!” he said, laughing. “Now let’s get you something good to eat for defending my honor.”
A month later, Parker was officially offered a position as a junior copywriter. He’d taken me shopping for some summer clothing items—both work attire and casual items. The number of X’s on my shirts and shorts was a little shocking, but he did have a knack for picking flattering cuts and patterns. I may have been over 400 pounds, but I’d never looked more stylish.
“Are you ready yet?” Parker called from the living room. It was the last Saturday in June and all of Parker’s old roommates from California were in town for the last weekend of Pride and to celebrate his promotion.
“Yeah,” I called in response. I walked out of our bedroom. “But you’re sure you want me to wear this to meet your friends?”
“Oh, come on,” he said. “It’s just a pair of shorts and a polo. It’s not risqué.”
The shorts were much shorter than I’d buy for myself, but they did fit me very well. They were a good three inches above my knees. He saw them on some Instagram ad and bought me three different pairs. The polo was much more out of my comfort zone. It was cream-colored and a crochet knit. You could see glimpses of my brown skin through the hundreds of small holes that made up the shirt.
“But it seems like you guys want to dance and that’s not really my scene anymore. Can’t you all celebrate tonight and then we all meet up for brunch tomorrow?”
“Okay, what about we all meet up tonight and go out to brunch tomorrow morning?” he countered in rhetorical fashion. “And besides, if you don’t want to burn any calories, you can just have some bar food and a beer.”
“They have those soft pretzels there don’t they?”
“They sure do,” he said, handing me my keys. “Now let’s go please.”
Fortunately I was able to find a good parking spot not too far from the bar. I parked and we walked the block to Dudes. The day had cooled considerably, which I was grateful for. It’d been in the eighties, but it was only about seventy now that the sun had set. They asked to see Parker’s ID and then we made our way inside.
“Parker!” I looked for who had shouted his name. It was another Asian guy who was about Parker’s height.
“Yedam, hey!” Parker looked at me. “Andy, this is Yedam. Yedam, this is my boyfriend Andy.”
“Oh wow,” Yedam said, taking me in. He smiled, like he was trying to stifle a laugh. “Um, it’s nice to meet you.” He locked eyes with Parker, raising his eyebrows theatrically. Was this a good interaction or not? I was having trouble reading the situation. Two other guys made their way to where we stood, both holding drinks. One of the guys handed a glass to Yedam.
“Mike, Sam, this is my boyfriend Andy.” Mike was white and very blond. Sam was black, a little lighter than I was. Overall, they all had the same vibe as Parker. Very put-together, the same height and build.
“This makes sense,” Sam said, gesturing back and forth with his pointer finger between Parker and I.
“Oh yeah, a thousand percent,” Mike added.
I felt like I was missing something, but I was hopeful Parker would fill me in later. The guys all told me I was very handsome and very large. It wasn’t in a sarcastic way, or a flirtatious way even. They presented it like they were simply stating facts. I ordered my pretzels and a round of shots for Parker and his friends. They were all laughing and joking and hanging off of one another. It was almost enough to make me jealous, but I knew I was what Parker wanted. I didn’t need to worry about his friends.
After another shot Parker pulled me towards the crowded dance floor. “Ready?” he asked, leaning into me.
“I thought I was supposed to drink my beer and eat bar food.” I scanned the whole place; I was the biggest guy in the entire club.
“You’ve got all night to eat bar food. You can dance with me for a few minutes.” He started to move his body and I did too. I wasn’t a bad dancer; it was just something I tended to avoid. He turned slowly, his butt against my crotch.
It seemed like the music got faster and louder, and the entire time I couldn’t take my eyes off of Parker. He was absolutely gorgeous. I leaned down, kissing his neck. He lifted his arms, wrapping them around my neck. I stepped back and felt a foot under me.
“Shit, man, watch where you’re going! You’re gonna break someone’s foot!” This guy was drunk.
“What was that?” I asked. Six months ago, I’d have left the dance floor completely mortified. But now, why would I ever stop living my life because I took up just a little too much space? The world was a big place, and people would just have to make room for me.
“Nothing, nothing,” he said, adjusting his tone. “Just be more careful. Sorry.”
“That dude was an ass,” Parker said, turning to face me, resting his hands on my waist.
“As crowded as it is, I was bound to step on someone’s foot.” I leaned down so I didn’t have to shout this next part so loudly. “Although it does probably hurt a little more when the one doing the stepping is over 425 pounds.” Parker smiled at me, and I think it was a relief to him that I was being a good sport.
“Parker! Andy!” It was Sam waving us over to the bar.
He and the rest of Parker’s friends wanted to do another shot and my pretzels were waiting for me. “They were just delivered,” Yedam said. “And we didn’t want them to get cold.”
The rest of the night went pretty well. Parker was always so reserved and in control of himself, so it was nice to see him having fun and letting loose. They were all pretty toasted by midnight, and Mike drunkenly started talking about getting something to eat.
“Why did we drink so much?” he bemoaned, leaning against Yedam as we left the bar. “We should’ve gotten dinner before the bar.”
“You were the one convinced you were getting laid tonight,” Sam stated, stumbling right along next to them.
“Andy knows a place,” Parker said, leaning against me. “Isn’t Sub Daddy’s second location near here?”
“Uh, yeah, it is,” I offered. “I can drive, though you all better not puke.”
“We won’t!” they all sang in unison.
We made it to my Buick unscathed, and I made sure everyone was buckled up. Looking at Parker in the seat next to me and his three drunk besties in the back seat was hilarious to me. It looked like I’d kidnapped a bunch of intoxicated twinks.
“So did Parker used to bake a lot when you all lived together?” I asked, making conversation as we drove.
“Constantly,” Yedam said, sounding comically exasperated. “We had this neighbor.”
“Oh yeah!” Mike interjected. “Big Idris.”
“Your neighbor went by ‘Big Idris?’ Seriously?” I asked.
“Of course not!” Sam exclaimed, cracking up. “I think his real name was Tyler or something?”
“Tyson,” Parker clarified, his entire face and ears covered in a red blush that I didn’t think was entirely from the alcohol.
“Tyson, right,” Sam continued. “We called him Big Idris because he was hot like a young Idris Elba, but much bigger. I mean, not huge.” There was a slight pause, as if he was second guessing his next statement. “Like you’re way bigger than he was.”
“Okay, so he wasn’t fat-fat, got it.”
“So anyway, Big Idris was our neighbor across the hall. When we moved in at the start of our fall semester junior year, Parker baked little treats for everyone on the floor. Big Idris was the only one who came back asking for seconds.” The three of them roared with laughter. I could see where this story was going. Yedam continued the tale.
“It was just like when we were in the dorms. He didn’t have access to a kitchen, but Parker made sure this guy who lived on the floor above us never went without a snack. Insomnia Cookies should probably erect a statue in Parker’s honor. What was his name? Owen?”
“Yes, Owen,” Parker confirmed.
“So Owen, the ex-football player, ended the year having put on the freshman fifteen.”
“Plus fifteen,” Mike added.
“Plus fifteen,” Sam followed. They all cracked up again. Parker was definitely an anomaly to them. An oddity that made for interesting stories. Their sex lives were probably pretty tame compared to what Parker and I were into.
“Owen was nothing like Big Idris though,” Yedam said. “Those 45 pounds were nothing compared to the almost a hundred Big Idris gained living across the hall from us for two years.”
Mike spoke next, saying, “To be fair, it wasn’t all Parker. This guy liked to eat, and he was always ordering DoorDash or UberEats.”
“But Parker wasn’t innocent,” Sam said. “He baked him a different type of cookie at least three times a week.”
“What happened to Big Idris?” I asked, now extremely curious.
“His girlfriend moved in and Parker moved here to start his new job. She’s definitely helped him change his diet around. You can tell he’s lost some weight, not eating as much take-out. But he for sure doesn’t seem as happy as when Parker was visiting his apartment at two in the morning.”
“That’s a shame,” Parker said. Now that had me cracking up as I pulled into the Sub Daddy parking lot. Of course Parker would be upset to hear that all his hard work was being undone.
We went inside and ordered, and the four of them decided to split two sandwiches, which was funny because I ordered two sandwiches for myself. We sat and ate, the four of them passing tiny bags of chips back and forth to supplement their little sandwiches. After we finished eating I drove them back to their Airbnb. We made plans to meet up for brunch the next afternoon, and I was very interested to hear more about Parker as a sexy coed with feeder tendencies.
Parker was only slightly hungover the next morning. We hung out with his friends again in the afternoon. They mostly shared stories, while I mostly ate boujee brunch food. We said our goodbyes and they made plans to get together again soon. They all still lived in the old apartment, at least until their lease ended in the fall. Overall, the weekend had been a success, and I was sure Parker was excited to start his new position come Tuesday.
Monday he’d be training his replacement.
“So make sure his lunch is ordered at eleven so that he’s able to eat by noon,” Parker stated matter-of-factly.
He had been with my new assistant all morning. She was a nice girl, and I could tell she was already a little overwhelmed by all the things Parker expected her to remember. I think Parker was sad to be shifting to a new position, even though he was really excited to be doing what he dreamed of.
He would be on an entirely different side of the office. It was probably for the best that we had a bit of space from each other. We didn’t want to become one of those couples that couldn’t function without the other.
But still, he knew me better than anyone. I didn’t have to think about my next move because he’d already anticipate it.
“Parker, can I see you in my office for a moment?” I asked.
“Yes, of course,” he said before turning his attention to my new assistant. “Nicolette, we can go over the best times to schedule Mr. Reynolds for a meeting after you get back from your break.” She couldn’t grab her purse fast enough. She was probably going to be updating her LinkedIn and putting in applications on Indeed.
“You need to go a bit easier on her,” I said once we were behind closed doors. “Remember that's Hathaway’s great-niece.”
“I didn’t have anyone to show me the ropes when I started,” he said. “I just want to make sure she knows what to do so things go smoothly for you.”
“I’ll be okay, babe.”
“Fine. I’ll dial it back.”
“So how about a quickie for old time’s sake?” He laughed, but he immediately loosened his tie.
I ended up seated behind my desk with my pants around my ankles. He was completely nude, claiming he didn’t want to chance getting a stain on his clothes. He kneeled in front of me and reached into my desk drawer. He grabbed a tiny bottle of lube. He squirted a moderate amount in his palm before wrapping his hand around my erection. He pumped my dick slowly, covering it with the lube.
I watched him stand with his back to me. I got to my feet, grabbing the bottle of lube from him and covering his hole with some of it, massaging it with my fingers. Being between his fat cheeks was always a pleasure. It was the only fatty part about him, and I loved grabbing his ass roughly in these moments. I bent my knees before angling my dick so there’d be a smooth entry and pushed my penis into him slowly. I leaned my body on top of him, my gut resting on his back as I rocked my hips back and forth. I felt his body relaxing as I found a good rhythm. I continued to thrust my hips and he did his best to stifle his moans.
“I’m your biggest success story,” I said breathily, pushing a bit more forcefully. “I just know your friends are going to be shocked the next time they see me.”
“Uh—” he whimpered, his knees buckling slightly.
“Say it,” I said. “Say that you’re gonna make me bigger.”
“I–I’m gonna make you bigger.” He tugged at his dick desperately. He wasn’t going to last much longer.
“500 isn’t that far off,” I said, not entirely believing it myself. Would he want me to get that big? He did tell me that I was the biggest person he’d ever been with. Could he handle that? Could I?
“Oh fuck!” he panted, doing his best to catch his cum in his hand. I gave a few final pushes before filling him with my cum. I pulled myself from inside of him and we both got cleaned up. He got dressed, looking positively pristine, like nothing lewd had just taken place in my office.
That’s when he turned to me and said, “I hope you’re ready for lunch.”
He had a look in his eye that let me know our sex talk wasn’t just talk. Parker had goals, and I liked a man with motivation.
I sure knew how to hire ‘em.
The End!
#gainer stories#gainer story#gainerstory#gainer fiction#gainer fic#gainerfic#fatfiction#gay feedee#gay feeder#weight gain
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Clothes Make The Man: Paulie Lombardo
Much to my chagrin, I’ve discovered that Mafia DE is maybe one of the best video game remakes of all time. It’s obvious from the designs to the writing to the worldbuilding that someone cared a lot about making something with intent and purpose and quality in mind.
Maybe you disagree, and that���s fine, but I haven’t seen anyone really make the case for DE in a design sense. I’ve seen arguments for gameplay, the graphics, the acting, but not so much the characters. Fortunately, I do this kind of thing for fun. If it falls to me to be the guy that talks about the fashion choices in a game from 5 years ago, so be it. Derek Guy I am not, but I can certainly try. Hello, I’m Ray, and I’m going here to talk at length about something no one cares about!
Fun bonus challenge: Try to guess what my major was by the end of this post.
The first thing I noticed in the jump from Mafia (2002) to Mafia DE was the choice to really shake up the character designs. This makes sense, as Mafia wants to be a cinematic series and the foundation of good cinema is strong characters. Hiring actors is part of that, but so too is the deliberate design of the characters - how they look and what they wear in specific.
Paulie and Sam and Tommy are beloved characters in Mafia Classic, but the fact that the games are so old presents a challenge to the modern designer. Audiences in 2020 need more than a cool badass player character gun guy to carry their interest, and Paulie and Sam as your sidekicks need to charm and engage the player for the game to deliver on its narrative beats.
So how do you take an old, low-fidelity character design and make him memorable? Let’s take a look.
I want to start with Paulie because I think his rework tells us the most about the goals of the designers, and we can use that in the future when we (I, me) talk about the other characters and their design choices.
In Mafia Classic, Paulie is easily described: Grey suit, red tie, no frills. The only reason his suit isn’t black is because that distinction is reserved for Tommy, who’s tie is also red.
This isn’t an indictment or commentary on the original game at all. If you thought keeping the dark-haired, dark-eyed, be-suited cast of guys in a mafia movie was difficult, imagine trying to do it in a video game and all while staying within a certain polygon count. The fact that you can tell - at a glance - the difference between Paulie, Tommy, Sam, Salieri, and Frank and do so while keeping most of them in a similar uniform is a testament to Illusion Softworks’s attention to detail and commitment to making something of a particular caliber. For 2002, Paulie’s is a perfectly functional design, no notes.
Mafia DE, having the flexibility afforded them by time and a budget, makes the (frankly, inspired) choice to change the characters’ wardrobes over the course of the story. Paulie actually gets the fewest amount of wardrobe changes of the main three with only two suits (three, I guess, if you count the one he wears to the funeral), a coat, a hat, and the single appearance of the shirt/suspenders combo we see him in at the end of the story and nowhere else.
For those curious, the funeral fit is just a recolored version of the grey suit, double left-side pockets and all.
This lack of outfits compared to Sam (four suits) and Tommy (I haven’t finished counting, but it’s more than four) is interesting in light of the fact that DE also expanded his character to make Paulie something of a clotheshorse. He’s only got a few suits, but he’s very proud of the ones he does have. As indicated by his dialogue, he hates getting his clothes wet, schemes about stealing classy suits as a way of making money, and at the very least has a passing interest in maintaining his hair. Our boy’s got a bit of a vain streak.
Note Tommy's quick pursed lips expression here. Here's a guy who's used to dealing with this shit.
The brilliant part (and this will become a running theme) is that the character design is doing as much work here as the dialogue.
Taking cues from the Classic design, the outfit we first see DE Paulie in is a grey suit and a red tie. However! The increase in graphical fidelity gives the designers here an opportunity to expand on the details.
As a quirk of what I believe to be the lighting engine, Classic Paulie’s suit often appeared not just grey, but cool grey, almost violet. The DE designers really leaned into that, giving the first suit we see him in a more purple tone, brought out even more by the (now darker) red tie. The second suit he starts wearing after A Trip to the Country leans into this even more heavily, purple windowpane check with a rich purple tie and matching pocket square.
Thank you Nikita Nanako on Artstation for uploading this to his portfolio. Makes my life easier.
Even without knowing the historical significance of purple in fashion, this marks Paulie immediately to the player’s eyes, and certainly in the eyes of the other characters. Purple is a flashy color, historically expensive to manufacture, associated with royalty. By the time Paulie’s wearing it in 1930-whatever, it was an artificial dye and much less expensive to make, but that doesn’t stop it from being a statement. Purple is a color you wear when you want someone to notice what you’re wearing. And as we’ve established already, Paulie very much wants people to notice. There’s also like, literary implications to the color choices here, but I think that’s another post.
The lapels on the DE suits, too, say a lot about the kind of guy Paulie is. Both suits have peaked lapels as opposed to the notched lapels of the Classic design, and indeed, everyone else in DE. Peaked lapels - like the color purple - are a deliberate choice, one that draws attention to itself. They’re sharp-looking, or as Paulie says, “real classy”.
More importantly for our purposes as students of design though, they’re not always appropriate for every situation. A peaked lapel is usually reserved for a highly formal look. To our modern eyes, we see a peaked lapel and think ‘high-powered courtroom drama’, or ‘classy social event’. It’s not exactly out of style, but it’s a bold choice to wear to, say, an illicit moonshine deal at an old abandoned farm. Paulie does not care about the context. Unless the situation demands discretion, this is a guy who is pulling up in his Sunday best no matter what.
And the hat. Oh, we can’t move on without talking about the hat.
Note the windowpane check suit has a hat with a shinier band too!
Paulie is the only character in the game to sport the homburg, again setting him apart from the more classic fedoras the Sam and Tommy usually wear. The homburg is a favorite of online menswear aficionados, but despite years of tireless blogging, this particular hat has yet to come back into fashion the way the fedora has. As a result, to the modern eye, the homburg looks very old-fashioned. It has a tall, broad profile that… Hey, see if you notice a running theme here: draws attention to itself.
Importantly, the homburg (in the American cultural consciousness anyway) is very much a bad guy hat. There’s a few contributing factors to this, but it comes primarily from our genre fiction and the images of the mobsters of the ‘30s and ‘40s. In gangster flicks, the good guy detective wears a fedora. The big, bad, cigar-chomping gangster wears a homburg. If you’re British, you might be able to get away with wearing one as a stuffy upper-crust sort, but if you’re American you are immediately ranked amongst the likes of Michael Corleone and Lucky Luciano.
The urge to add a picture of Diamonds Droog here was a little too strong.
There’s more I could touch on. His ostentatious little peacock pocket square alone has bewitched me.
But really, I want to get to the crux of the thing, which is that like… Despite everything about him saying he pays attention to these things, none of these aesthetic choices he’s making are actually working for him.
The peaked lapels, the big, fat hat, the garish colors. They might command a hefty price tag, but they don’t actually *look good*. This is a guy who has learned what good taste looks like in theory, but has not made himself master of it. The clothes are wearing the man.
Would you trust this man with your money? Your car? Dating advice?
It makes sense when you think about what his background would have been. What does a poor son of immigrants know about expensive suits? Only what he can pick up by observation! He wasn’t raised in a high-society environment, he wouldn’t know the difference between a suit you wear to a warehouse shootout and a suit you wear to a wedding just as he wouldn’t know the difference between a fish fork and a salad fork. To a guy like Paulie, the details don’t matter. He just knows the suits are expensive, and that a younger Paulie would never have been able to afford them.
Many real-life gangsters had this problem as well. Al Capone went from being a poor bootlegger to an extremely rich and powerful gangster, and all the money in the world couldn’t buy him good taste either.
He's swimming in those lapels! And hey, that tie looks familiar...
There were other gangsters who had this problem too, but some were smart enough to look to their peers for cues about what to wear and how to wear it. (We’ll talk more about that when I get around to Sam.)
The fact that Paulie doesn’t do this, however, tells us everything we need to know about the guy just by looking at him. He’s stubborn, stuck in his ways, unable to tell the difference between expensive and tasteful, and wouldn’t know subtlety if it clocked him in the jaw. All from the design decisions the art team made, and without adding a word of dialogue. This is brilliant stuff. I’m in love with him, obviously.
That's all for now! Thanks for reading.
#paulie lombardo#mafia the city of lost heaven#mde#mafia definitive edition#mafia 1#mafia game#salieri sends his regards#<- my text post tag if you. don't want to see this i guess?#clothes make the man
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Do you have any tips for how to write a book? My husband thinks I should write the shitty wicca hallmark romcoms I want to see in the world and I think I might actually try
Plot your structure ahead of time. I'm not a panster -- I'm very much of the perspective that you'll have less to clean up in the edit if you plan out your entire book ahead of time. So this is how I write.
Like I like to start by writing down everything I know about the story -- characters, setting, etc -- and making a story bible to refer back to. You'll add to this as you go too. It's easiest to remember what color a random character's eyes are if you put it in a side document.
Then write a synopsis of your story. Like under a thousand words, but have it break down your entire plot, motivations, etc. That way you know where things are going before you start. Now, you can change this as you go if the way your characters end up doesn't jive with your original plan. I rewrote the synopsis for Shadowcasting about halfway through because one of the major characters just felt different than she did in my original plan, and her changed motivations shifted a lot of the events of the story.
Then comes your chapter by chapter outline, pacing out rising action, climax, etc. by breaking down the whole thing. I number the chapters and write a brief two or three sentence synopsis about what happens in that chapter.
And then, once I have that document, I start writing the actual text chapter by chapter from the beginning.
I don't write romance, so I don't know the genre well enough to give advice on mapping out the kind of thing your audience expects -- but if you read a lot of that genre, you probably already know that bit by now. But make a plan, know the tropes (and which ones you want to use, which ones you want to avoid, and which ones you want to subvert), and then execute it. The hard work is getting the actual text down.
And then, once you finish a draft? Put it in a metaphorical drawer and don't look at it for a week.
You want to let yourself forget it.
Then, open it back up and start your first set of revisions -- read through the thing and start cleaning up language and fix any structural issues you missed. At this point I've done things like re-ordered entire sections of the book -- the fight at the church in Bloody Damn Rite happened at a completely different point in the original draft, and the party Riley attends with Carson wasn't even in the first draft.
Then set it back down for a week.
When you open it back up you look for continuity errors, and go through the whole novel again. Then put it back down for another week, and when you open it back up you'll go through it again to fix language.
You're going to be doing that a lot, putting it down, fixing a more granular thing, and then repeating the cycle getting smaller and smaller each time. And then finally, you'll have a book.
If you're submitting to publishers, this is where you stop and start that whole process (which I know little about because I chose not to pursue that route). If you're self publishing and you work with an editor, this'll be the time you get them involved. If you want beta readers, this will be when they take a look too.
And then you should probably make more changes. If you're not hiring an editor, I recommend letting it sit again and doing a few more passes. Also, this is where a self publishing person has to do the work of formatting the interior (please get your front matter right like copyright page and title page), and either contracting a cover designer or doing it yourself. For my comics I do my own covers, for my novels I hire a graphic designer.
But eventually, at the end, you'll be ready to send this into the world.
And then the hard part starts: Getting anyone to read it.
Good luck.
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