#How do you tag these again? I'm so used to rambling on these
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Love to see my art flop
Have my favorite girl out there~!
#artists on tumblr#maripe7017#digital art#OC#How do you tag these again? I'm so used to rambling on these
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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Australian Rituals / Teeth of God Tour Bingo
Alroighte gwois, let's hear your predictions for the upcoming rituals. I *might* make another bingo (like on Wembley) - even if I don't, let's get them all in one place cus I think it's funny.
If you have something specifically for the Teeth of God Tour (because they are headliners and can do Cooler™ Fancier™ stuff) do specify. Same for strictly Australian Rituals. Some stuff may happen earlier (like when they debuted TMBTE and the new Espera masks), others may only happen on the Tour, so let's just put them all here and see what happens 😗✌️
Please reblog/put on the replies your predictions!! Whether serious or silly, please share!
Mine are:
One of the Vessels (Vessel or ivy OR Espera!!!!) singing onstage with Oli
Kangaroo/koala headbands / Aussie Explorer hat
EUCLID (more for Teeth of God but wouldn't be surprised if earlier)
The Apparition (PLEASE)
The Summoning pushups will return
Older song throwback (please please Sugar or Jaws. TNDNBTG for ToG)
Outfit change for the Vessels (only cus i think Australia is quite hot now innit? poor iv will MELT in that jacket)
NEW VESSEL JEWELLERY
This one I'm not super confident/keen on BUT new Vessel mask with Antlers (more likely on ToG but who knows)
#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE RITUALS AAAAAAA IT'S RIDICULOUS#i kinda hate that because of timezones they will be playing during the day (for me) rather than later at night but!!#it means we can at least gather round in the evening and react together#cus lord knows how many full nights of sleep i sacrificed during the US rituals#actually yeah now that i think about it it *IS* better this way#ignore my earlier tag then i am thinking out loud#i need at least one picture of the crew with koalas. Just one#i know the girlies are there already so i'm assuming they are ALL there#(one of the Esperas posted on her stories. calm down guys i am not doxing anyone)#do you think they are doing fun Aussie stuff 🥺 trying vegemite and milo and petting koalas and fighting roos 🥺🥺#wait but Adam is not there yet. maybe her photo is from last year. or maybe they're all arriving at different times idk#i just hope they are not stressing too much and are having fun and healthy 👍#i will get SO emotional hearing Vessel fully recovered on stage again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#ANYWAYS I RAMBLED TOO MUCH OMG SORREH#if you reached this have a little snack for your troubles 🤲 🍊🧃🍬#sleep token#sleep token teeth of god tour
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I love how you can purposely cater you internet experience to block most politics so you can mentally detox since your media consumption was becoming unhealthy, and still have a whole week of attempting to regain your hope in humanity become completely undone by wanting to eat lunch with your mom (ramble in tags, feel free to ignore; take care of yourselves first <3)
#politics#us politics#tags so people can block this post#it's just so cool and awesome that things work like that#i was genuinely doing so much better#i was engaging with news in a healthier way#i was fixing my focus on what to do moving forward#but then i had the audacity to want to eat lunch with my mother instead of holing up in my room#she turned on fox news and i tuned it out... talking about stuff with them always turns into debates and its mentality exhausting#so i generally just keep my mouth shut unless asked#but then she started commenting on the news out loud#and so being a personable person i did my best to respond#they were talking about mass deportation of ''illegal criminals'' and she asked out loud why they havent sent them away already#so i said “oh well its expensive and there's not always places that are willing to take them”... left my opinion on the sentiment out of it#that was the WRONG thing to say apparently#devolved into a debate where she ultimately said “ok but it was a rhetorical question and i didnt actually want an answer”#how was i supposed to know that????? im the only person in the room??? thats not what rhetorical questions are used for??????#so we moved on from the topic#she said something along the lines of “pff and people come in illegally and still want to seek asylum”#so again i speak up#told her (with a quick google search to back it up) that people can either apply for asylum at the border or after entering illegally#as long as its within a year of entering#that was ALSO THE WRONG THING TO SAY#she reiterated that she still wasn't asking and added “im just watching the news; i dont want to google anything”#and im like...#...one; she mentioned in her “thinking out loud” rambles that she's aware that i dont like to talk about this stuff with her#but that this stuff is important to talk about... which i took as a “why won't you talk with me?”#so ouch#but also... whY ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS IF YOU DON'T CARE TO VERIFY ANY OF IT#im out of tags to ramble in but I'm still so hurt and mad and i have been reminded how little people care about compassion and factuality
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Any ships you don’t like in the batfam fandom that is popular?
OOOH this is such a fun question because I have quite a few
StephCass - i'll be honest this is one of those ships where the fandom ruined it for me. because 2000s StephCass is an elite dynamic, they care for each other so deeply. but the fandom has been intent on defanging and purifying this ship. i don't know *why* but StephCass seems most popular with the anti-Batcest crowd who get very mad if you compare it to ships they deem Batcest. i have an entire meta commentary on this in my drafts I'll likely never post discussing why the only reason StephCass gets the pass for not being Batcest ties directly into misogyny (because the women of the Batfam need to exist as love interests first, not family members so Steph was never going to truly get to exist as a "full" Batfam member so long as she could remain a viable love interest for Tim, and the same can apply to Babs, Helena, and even Cass in some cases) and that just sours me to it. like if i want yuri in Batfam i think there are far more interesting/fucked up ships for Steph like Babs/Steph or Helena/Steph. and when it comes to what i'd actually like to see in canon, i don't want to see Steph relegated to love interest of a Batfamily member, even if it's queer. let her date and exist outside of Gotham the way every other Batfam member gets to, DC *please*.
Bruce/Selina - i can't fully articulate why this ship isn't my thing, it just isn't. i think i just can't conceivably agree with Selina letting go of so many of her fundamental morals and beliefs for the sake of a man, even one she loves such as Bruce. ironically, i think that's one of the few things Gotham War got right about these two. the only canon love interest i like for Bruce is Zatanna and i mourn we'll never get much of that.
JayRoy - i will admit when i was newer to DC the first comics i picked up for Jason were all New-52 and i shipped this. but now that i'm a pre-Flashpoint truther and i've actually read well-written Roy Harper comics, i only see the flaws in this ship. ngl if ppl were actually fun and interesting with it, playing with the idea of Roy knowing Jason as Robin and still seeing him as just Dick's little brother who's gone a little mental, it *could* be fun. but this Red Hood & the Outlaws (2011) and Red Hood/Arsenal (2015) dynamic *butchers* the fuck out of Roy and strips him of everything interesting. and even as a Batfamily stan, my number one pet peeve is when other DC characters get *butchered* in a Batfamily character's book just for the sake of propping up the Bat as some kind of savior. free Roy Harper from this mans.
Bruce/Oliver - we could be here all day if i listed all the Bruce ships i don't like, but i figure this one has to be included. because oh my god either the people shipping this *really* don't understand Oliver Queen or they just hate his ass because why would you subject Oliver to this man. he can't *stand* Bruce. i really hate the popular BruOliie shipping dynamic of like "oh they were boarding school besties" because if you want that, you *should* like Bruce/Zatanna, not these two. Oliver just always gets butchered in these fics and i won't stand for it.
Tim/Bernard - the ESSAYS i could write on this ship and why i dislike it. the fucking *fear* DC (and most popular media tbh) has with depicting queer relationships as anything other than totally perfect and cute for fear of accusations of homophobia has stripped this ship of *any* real grit. Bernard is a non-character in Tim Drake: Robin, he exists to cheer Tim on and prop him up and just be The Boyfriend. we occasionally get glimpses of an interesting character with really interesting trauma and nothing is *done* with it bc at the end of the day, Tim and Bernard must be perfect and cute. what's fun about Tim is he is the *worst* boyfriend alive. that boy is *ass* at dating. all of his relationships are rich with conflict and yet the moment he dates a guy suddenly all of his flaws vanish? i hate it. i mourn what this could've been if we kept messy Tim Drake and had a Bernard who was actually informed by his trauma. DC please let gays be messy again. also of all of Tim's 90s/00s friends to bring back as a love interest, Bernard Dowd was just a *bizarre* fucking choice. Sebastian Ives was *right* there come on now.
Any Crossover Ship - look if crossovers are your cup of tea i'm happy for you but oh my god if i have to see that little green ghost boy or that ladybug girl in the Batfam one more time i think i may explode. i have a lot of thoughts on *why* i think specifically Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug get crossed over as often as they do with the Batfam, but i don't think anyone wants to year that. my only exception to this is Jason/Bucky Barnes, but it *has* to be comics!Bucky. like. Judd Winick's Jason and Ed Brubaker's Bucky would hatefuck and that i wish to see it. any other crossover ship (especially the Peter Parker ones that seem to be rising in popularity) just do *not* do it for me.
honestly besides that i don't think i dislike many ships. (aside from being super opinionated on Bruce ships, but that's mostly bc ppl will use him to butcher the character they ship him with) there are some ships i'm neutral to because i simply do not know enough to have an opinion (like Dick/Wally). i guess the only Batcest ship i'm not particular to is Bruce/Damian, but I wouldn't say that one is popular nor would i say i dislike it, just that it's not my cup of tea. most Batcest ships click for me in one way or another because i like their Weird dnyamics. i guess i could also say i dislike most ships that have come out of Young Justice (tv) because. oh my *god* why were those group of characters put together on a team. it's baffling. but even then it's not disliking those ships, it's moreso disliking that show's depiction of those characters so. everything is really dependant on the canon context for me!
#necrotic answerings#batcest#sorry sorry to the shippers who are going to have this post caught in their filters#i am specifically not tagging the ships for that reason but sometimes tumblr will put it in the tagged content anyway#so sorry about that one#anyway i'm so serious i have Big feelings about the steph and cass thing.#i will probably never post it because oh the fights it'll start. but i've got feelings.#also my jason and roy feelings are pretty recent won't lie#like i used to be neutral on it. even have it in recent (within past few years recent at least) fanfic i've written#but the straw that broke the camels back was -as usual- wayne family adventures.#a recent episode had roy waxing poetic about how jason “saved” and “believed” in the outlaws as their leader#and i was like nope. i'm done. i can't. unsubscribing from this ship. goodbye.#red hood/arsenal is a guilty pleasure comic i won't lie to you (mostly for the duela dent content)#but i can't do it anymore. i can't witness roy being fucking BUTCHERED like that. i am done i've left the building.#writing this i found i actually don't dislike as many ships as i thought i did. bc i love to be a hater#but rlly most batfam ships i'm agreeable to#it needs the correct context and characterization but I'll be down for the cause if i think it could be fun#only the ones i mentioned are the ones i rlly dislike enough to be grumpy about#also bruce and constantine. i also dislike and am grumpy about.#but i do think that *could* work. y'all just need to read a hellblazer comic#bc you guys (the general you) do not understand constantine stop making him silly magic mcguffin guy. free him.#tumblr ate some of my tags on my last post so I'll stop rambling for fear of being silenced by tumblr gods again.
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Listen if you're gonna send me an ask about why I shouldn't interact with a person, can you at least do it off anon so I can request actual proof privately? I'm not replying to these since the only way to respond to them is publicly and I don't want to contribute to an unsubstantiated rumor about someone. That's not fair.
#Also I checked and I don't even follow them! So don't worry about me not interacting I've been doing a bang up job already#Maybe I did in the past because there were only like 4 of us in the Tr/ig/un tags at any given time#But I don't now so I have no clue how or why you dmed me about this random person I don't even follow#The only mention of them I can find on my blog via search (granted it's a gamble cuz search sucks but) is a tag on a gifset from 2014#I mean if you're browsing posts from 2014 on my blog all the more power to you I had good taste#But also I don't really know this person. I vaguely recognize the username but again. Only 4 of us at any given time for years#It just feels Weird.#If ur going thru the trouble of sending asks abt this person then put your own reputation on the line since you're trying to tank theirs#Like if you believe these accusations enough that ur willing to send asks to randos then u should be comfy putting your name behind them#I'm giving u the benefit of the doubt here anon#I want to believe ur heart is in the right place and u think ur helping#But being on anon with 0 proof is not helping your case at all#Cruddy rambles#Ask
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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ngl i have so many thoughts about penelope sitting in the back of my mind, she's such an interesting character...
#i'm gonna try to avoid using penny when talking about her just so i don't confuse my pokemon moots ;0;#but yeah... just the imagery surrounding her has got me pondering#like the fact that the room she spends most of her time in at tangle tower is quite literally a gilded cage#or that she's wearing an outfit that's strikingly similar to her mother's if not the same exact outfit...#i also can't stop thinking about how i feel like she doesn't even have any true ill will towards anyone currently living at tangle tower#even flora (the character you could expect her to dislike based on her motivations) is someone she has some care for...#ALSO HER FUCKING REACTION WHEN YOU SUGGEST HER MOTIVATION WAS LONELINESS UGH!!!!#just.... fuck dude#i do hope we get to see her again#random idea i've thought about too is harrow getting involved in tracking down penny and it ending w/ a face-off between the two#i think that'd be cool...#wait shit my brain is making a connection with another idea i had hold on#*rubs my gay lil hands together* hmm 😈#sorry that my rambling's always relegated to the tags it's easier to parse my thoughts in short bursts like that#tangle tower#mj.txt#tangle tower spoilers
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More art 🍽️
I have this, it's the only piece of John Egbert art I am proud of
nice background practice too for looking at refs, I want to practice backgrounds to get good at it :33
my version of HS^2 John though, I feel like he would wear two shirts and have side burns
idk that's just me
anyways i'm going back to being afk again
#this is also a photo for something i'm making that only me and my friend's can see (yes that includes you Aki#you can read this too Aki sense you're authorized on my TH)#speaking of toyhou.se I want to remove that code on my profile thing and just have it blank#I feel like just having codes on my characters is way better than profile#so i'm probably gonna do that and just link my socials in what not on their#i have been typeing non stop in these hashtags oh my gog i better get back to tagging homestuck o.O#homestuck#john egbert#oh yeah I forgot to watermark this but I added it <333#i want to start drawing fanart more but i really really like my ocs#maybe one day#i would also upload this on twitter but i don't like uploading there#i also don't really like using twitter that often because of how toxic and weird it is#i guess i can also say the same for tik tok#though im not really active on tik tok#i tried posting my art on tt before but i didnt like how it was formatted haha#oh gog im rambling in tags again heuaheuhae#he would be 23 in this drawing as I wrote it for my little homestuck thingy heehee#okay i'll stop typing in tags for this post now bye bye#okay ignore what I said abt the twt thing I'm actually very proud of this that i might post it there#im indecisive okay?
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ah okay apparently we've reached the time of night where we start to feel really weird and not great but I guess the best thing to do is just go over our self care checklist and if all else fails, lay down and try to get cosy and rest for a while to see if that helps
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#admittedly I forgot just how much doing lots of activities through the day wears us out even if it's ''low energy'' stuff like reading#I still feel mostly alright. it's just that weird anxious/empty/homesick feeling we tend to get between roughly 11pm and 1am#I think doing a lot of different things also feels very different to our normal routine and that was fine throughout the day#but then I think once it gets to this time of night we're worn out and can't do much#so the shift from doing a lot to doing very little combined with the house suddenly being very quiet from people going to bed#probably does something similar to when you've been out all day and then get home and it's quiet and you suddenly feel empty and weird#it's that feeling of ''wow so much happened and I've had a great time but now it's quiet and I'm alone and suddenly I don't feel good''#oh look I think I figured out what our brain's doing by rambling in the tags again... huh
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YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PRICELESS IS SO GOOD RIGHT... LOVE THE ENDING FOR THAT... and very much anticipating First Penguin's... which I am DETERMINED to continued today... I feel bad for falling behind because I ended up binging a whole anime yesterday since the secondary protagonist was based on Tsutsumi and lost track of Fucking Everything 😭😭😭he is so cute though😚
OH BUT YEAH I played DQXI's demo [the first ten hours of the game or so]... yeaaahhhh... definitely that kind of game for me too... but I hope whenever you get back to it you have a good time! I may not know a thing about Metroid but I am also happy to hear it was an enjoyable experience overall :] I enjoy the tag rambles very much :]
REGARDLESS... EPIC... I HOPE YOU ENJOY SP... OR AT THE VERY LEAST I HOPE YOU CAN STICK WITH IT UNTIL IT BECOMES ENJOYABLE...
AND YOU'RE JUST NOT GOING TO DROP THE TITLE so mean telling me about all these interesting things to watch and not sharin the title (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)
TEN HOURS FOR THE DEMO ??? long as hell demo... OH BUT NO i love the games a lot !! ive followed the series for a while since. i do have that dragon ball/toriyama fanatic in me unfortunately even if i dont like toriyama himself ☠️☠️ i only really got to actually start one of the games last year when my bro got DQXI for me and ive been loving it so far (* ̄▽ ̄*)ミ|Ю
i've BEEN enjoying it so far !! i'm just about to start episode four tho i AM gonna lose my mind if this hospital arc goes on one more episode bro this half the series already ☠️
#snap chats#joking of course.... haha unless--#if this is the chara you mean then he seems like a nice fellow :) i trust his vibes already..... he seems like a chara i'd like...#OH BUT PRICELESS WAS SOOOO GOOD AND SO LOVELY TYSM AGAIN FOR RECCING IT... i hope you enjoy the rest of first penguin !!!!!#NO WORRIES BOUT RUSHIN IT fair nuff theres no deadline !!!! id rather you take your time and enjoy it on your own terms anyhow :)#but SPEEEAAKING of DQ im actually playing it rn LMAO. i only stopped last year cause i just had an awful exp with a boss#and then i got busy with Life but itd been bothering me that i just stopped so i finally decide to get back into it#the boss wasnt even that hard this time around... tho i think thats just cause i went in Prepared this time ☠️#i dont remember why my bro got me DQXI.. i think he was just using some gamestop deal he had and got himself something too..#NOOO UGH i dont know if its in the demo but the boss was arachtagon and he's who i thought of while making that ichi and masato comic LMAO#of course i couldnt reference that fight since.... that wasnt the DQ game of the time... but still we get the point i think...#nono i love dragon quest and playing it's something i'm happy i finally get to do#it definitely requires you to think a lot more and be more careful with what you do#i mean itd PRRROOBBBABLY be easier if i did sidequests but i have a terrible tendency to wanna finish the game first...#in any case. i am playing it while watching SP because i was thinking of the next part of the game and was stuck on it#and when i looked up where to go i was like 'no i already checked that spot' and i was just gonna leave it at that but now i cant stop#but i ALSO really wanted to watch SP today but fortunately i can multitask#not like i need to pay a LOT of attention to dq rn.. im just grinding. cause im broke ☠️#oh but im glad you enjoy the tag rambles :) i have too many thoughts for my own good#like how when i was at the game store i saw DQ treasures AND metroid dread AND the megaman battlenetwork collection..#i was fighting real demons that day not to empty my wallet....#luckily my bro was with me so i felt like him being there was a way to keep me in check. even if he prob wouldnt have opposed ( ̄▽ ̄;;)#IN ANY CASE. i have multiple medias to consume lest i let The Thoughts take over my brain again for even a second ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶#inoue's chara is so funny like He's Super Human um doc... i think he's just autistic lowkey..... he still a baller regardless tho
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To be honest, seeing a post about how since binders are hand wash and that's a pain, old washboards do a good job (did I reblog that?...I forget) really kind of makes me want to get a washboard for my laundry
See... I kind of fucking hate using machines like that for some reason. Like, I don't use the dishwasher, it's so much easier for me to do it by hand (even easier if I get ahold of some good dish rags cause... when I've got a rag I can get things cleaned even quicker and easier)
Just something about the loading and unloading... doesn't work well for me
But using a washboard on the couple things I use (I mean I'm at home a lot, so I don't go through a ton of stuff), and then hanging them on one of those little... like the indoor hanging racks (which I could make if I'd just make it)... that feels easier too me
Hard to get started doing cause... it's... it's a big learning investment, not that it's complex but like... even if you... well even if I know all the steps for something, doing it the first time still is really hard and like learning, I can't say how it is for you
But like, once I started doing it and was used to it I feel like I'd do it a lot more than I'm willing to do laundry in a machine
...I don't know... just thoughts I have. Don't know why I'm like this, but I am
#ok tumblr; you fucking interrupt me again to add tags?#I'll add tags then#my tags are fuck you#oh yeah; I'm really hoping my post where I ramble about being a weirdo get picked up and makes it big for that sweet sweet clout#like I'm sure it would really benefit me in some way or another#maybe I could plug some patreon or something; be like 'sponsor my unwell ramblings'#you've got artists of tumblr and tags like that; I can use the 'severely depressed fuck ups of tumblr' tag#get the fuck out of here with trying to teach me how to use this site#I've been using this site for god knows how long... like 2014 or something#not the oldest; but I've been here a fucking long time#I use this shit how I use it and that's the end of that#for instance somedays I decide to keep the profanity to a minimum; and then somedays some fucker like you pisses me off#all I ask is that when I hit post; and I've left things blank tag wise; you just post it without asking me if I'm sure#like fuck... never bring this up cause it's not like it damn well matters#but I've got just a teeny bit over 1000 followers at this point despite not tagging shit#so like... clearly my way of doing things works at getting one meaningless metric you can get on here#don't know why that many people follow; and some are probably empty accounts at this point; but you know...#it's super rare anyone's rude or anything; so there's no downside for me at this point; so I'm pleased to have people around in that case#just... piss off#some blogs use tags for promotion or sorting#and all the power to them#on this blog I use tags to do unhinged rambling like this; there's only like 6 functional tags#and like 3 of those only have maybe 5 posts in them; only 3 are any use#my cats; obvious; cleaning; you want to see the shit I get up to there; I guess my photos; though I don't post much there these days#and then mm tag so I can find things later; which is mostly a collection of insane ranting#like trust me tumblr; I'd love to make fat stacks on here somehow; but this post ain't doing that#just uh... you piss me off with some of the stuff you do; and I like complaining; so you get me complaining#add some tags you say; well I added em; you happy you bothered me with that shit?#rhetorical; not like I'm actually mad enough at staff I want them reading this#I just felt like complaining
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✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧
#love the goofy improvised lyrics of this one actually#like parts of it almost sound serious or something but then it's just gibberish and you're talking to a coconut#at least I picture it that way. though I guess you could think it's about like.. a person/creature CALLEd coconu#t. I saw it as like.. literally talking to just a coconut.#ANOTHER one that seems vaguely familar to me though... hhgh.... hopefully not a tune just directly from somewhere#not that it would matter much anywa probably. look at the second part of the description for the 'boiling the beef again' song for#thoughts about that. which I already just typed and don't want to type them again lol#but general 'ideas i always have when songs sound familar to me' things#so on and so forth yadda yadda#also still like my refusal to use real instruments whenever possible gbjhbjh#I just genuinely still do not understand music programs at all or how to put the little digital instruments together#if I can just make a beat with my mouth or something I will always choose to do that instead unless I'm specifically experimenting#with something lol..#though my incompetency at music programs is probably evident anyway with how like.. all of the audio sounds#no autotune. no taking out background noise. no filters or anything that might actually make it sound better. just slap reverb on it#sometimes on the default settings and thats it.#theres a freedom to that though#don't over think it. who cares. ramble about coconuts and hit export. peace and love on planet earth#beepo tag
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If I see g*nshin imp*ct shit outside of my like, two mutuals I allow through my filters so I can keep up with Ateru, I am reporting it as spam.
#rem rambles#i tag very fucking thoroughly. and tumblr is typically not my issue.#what is are these fucking videos that are ads.#killing and biting you. i am smearing your face on the pavement.#i do not care for your game or the petty ass drama that comes with it. go away.#this is my autistic boyfriend's special intrest. i am oversaturated enough just from him telling me about the new waifu of the week.#sorry if you like gensh*n *mpact. get well soon frfr.#don't take my hate personally. i mean you should have higher standards for yourself but we all have moral lapses. no ones perfect etc. etc#I'm just very pissed that i had to watch ONE (1) video from him to understand a new fucking waifu and now YouTube thinks im a teenager with#mommy's credit card to buy primogems so i can use one of the characters that are TOTALLY not the same thing copy paste. woth the price.#'wowwie this OTHER white man in his late 20's also spent 300$ and never got the Banner eith their pity? oh they just like me for real.'#'im gonna watch EVEN MORE white men in their late 20's pull the slot machine. god i wish my daddy would let me use his credit card again.'#'cant he see how much i NEED the loli zombie on my team! my parents dont understand me like these streamers and youtubers do.😒'#all of you are being flagged as inappropriate content. i am shooting you in the back of the head like you deserve. get out of my feed.
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Just the other day I was chatting with an older woman about this exact thing. She's retired so she enjoys going on almost-daily walks around her neighborhood and the surrounding neighborhoods. Well she told me that it was really weird that in the newer constructions where the younger families live, EVERYONE has their blinds closed all the time. In fact she can tell a younger family lives in a house based on the simple fact of whether or not their blinds are closed in the middle of a sunny day. It's to the point where she can't even tell if they're even HOME and available for a visit to welcome them to the neighborhood!
When she said that, I realized that I do that too when I live in a more publicly visible apartment. I told her that I think it's because of the internet. Younger people feel like we're constantly being watched, observed, and JUDGED for merely existing. So when we're home, we just want to be alone, unbothered, and unobserved because it's the one place we can control that. She was very surprised to hear that I felt like that and she was VERY concerned for us young folk (and to be honest after talking with her I became pretty concerned too...)
People from her generation will have their blinds open all day, hang out on their front porch, and randomly visit/enjoy random visits from neighbors and strangers. If a stranger knocks on my door it's scary and if they want to stay and chat? It's a huge inconvenience and it feels super awkward and weird and I'm stuck wondering why exactly they're talking to me, when just a few decades ago welcoming someone new to the neighborhood was just what you did! In fact to not do so was rude!
It made me really worried that as the Panopticon sinks its teeth deeper into our psyches, we are losing the very essence of what makes us human and got us this far as a species: community. I find that being on the internet for hours a day tends to almost trick my brain into thinking "I've been social all day, my social need is full" when in reality I've only talked to one, maybe two people I know from my real life all day, and only for short bursts, not REAL conversation.
I find it hard to have the energy to invite friends to hang out, and when I want to I feel like I'm a big inconvenience for asking them to take a break from their busy lives for me (not that they would ever say that's the case, but it's this nagging feeling internally). I feel like while we used to be a series of large islands of local community, our islands splintered apart and started drifting away from each other. Now your island is just you, your immediate family, and maybe a couple close friends. Those living physically closest to you feel like they're miles away and unreachable, to the point where you might as well not even bother.
I guess I just have one question for you: Do you know the names of your next door neighbors?
#there was another woman just a couple years older than me in the conversation as well and she agreed with me#what happened to us?#community#if you don't have a physical local community please find one you don't think you need it until you suddenly do and wish you had one#i only know ONE of my neighbors (across the hall) and i live in a huge complex#and i only know them because we coincidentally met on Nextdoor without knowing we were neighbors#if it weren't for that i would've never knocked on their door or said hello or even acknowledged their existence further than a smile#but they're actually super nice and good friends! unfortunately we're moving this week so we won't be seeing much of them now#i want to make more of an effort to meet neighbors but it just fills me with this awful anxiety ugh#I'm glad i found our local UU church and joined it so i do have a physical local community#but i had to go out of my way and i think that's the issue: going out of my way#you have to decide to go out and join a church or club sport or tabletop group and it's hard to do that!#we aren't taught how to do that gracefully or even how fundamentally necessary it is to us as humans!#it's like our social need is seen as unimportant or at least way less important than our hunger and sleep and hygiene needs#even though again our ability to communicate and form community is what allowed us to evolve to this point#it's just so frustrating and i can barely figure out how to solve the problem for myself let alone as a whole societal/generational thing#i just stay in my apartment all day invisible to the world feeling safe in my anonymity#as if that isn't on some level denying the very thing that makes me human#we're more connected than ever but we're also more lonely than ever. the fuck#I'm rambling now i need to stop#this whole post addition was originally tags but i felt it was important enough to actually add to the post#aa
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"Man, I relate a lot to Frost, I wonder why?"
*suddenly gets hit a dawning fear that I never realized before*
"Ah... That makes sense."
#im rambling like hell in the tags#justttt dont mind me#its a lot of me just going through it and talking to myself#if you dont want to read all of that go ahead and stop and scroll#bardic whispers#yeah so.. tonight is just something huh?#.... goddammit im about to write another emotional spiral fic aren't i? fucking hell..#i do this to myself and i dont even mean to! im just easy to please! im okay without closure! and then i stay in one place and happy#and when i look back up- im just.. behind#... at least i have an easy target this time around huh?#i am so sorry for what i'm about to do to you Frosty-#(even though Frost is actively encouraging me to do this-)#FUCK I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE A CHRISTMAS EVENT TOMORROW-#fuuuuuckk no wonder i'm in anxiety hell!#goddammit- one week- one *day* without anxiety would be nice-#i need to be fucking medicated or something. or i need caffeine to stop going through withdraws. again.#goddammit- im just trying at this point and it feels like not enough and im sorry for that#im happy being here- dont get me wrong the community had been so lovely you- you dont even *understand*#im.. not happy with how slow im going#and i know its okay to go slow... but ive been slow all my life. i wish i was faster. i wish i could find a way to be faster.#im happy here with this community. truly i am. i love it here.#i wish i felt safe enough to relax. i want safety for us more than fucking anything...#im trying. thank you for baring with me
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