#How could you not love Mox?

[kayfabebabe]

Hi Mitch!!! for the ask thing whats ur opinions/thoughts on Jon Moxley! You can choose which iteration :3

Eris, my dude!

Oh. I've got some big thoughts and feelings about Mox. He's so intriguing that I need to put him under a microscope and study him in a strictly scientific way. And I want to bite him. So. Badly. There's something incredibly G-E-N-D-E-R about Baby Mox (and, technically, Dean Ambrose) although I can't really explain what it is. It's either the long, greasy hair forever in his eyes or the oversized hoodies or… Just everything.

Mox, however, really stole my heart when I read his book after seeing people on Tumblr talk about it and I actually learnt more about him outside of the ring.

[the-kipsabian]

its kinda incredible actually thinking that aew is only 5 years old and they are pulling people like okada, ospreay, and former fed champions like jon moxley and adam copeland

high key insane actually

[hellvcifer]

CARING FOR YOU WHEN YOU'RE SICK— ଘ drabbles ┆part 1

ft. pairings :: blitzø, stolas, poly!fizz/ozzie, poly!moxxie/millie // gn!reader wc :: 4.3k note :: i am still trying to flush out this sickness! it's awful but here's some more drabbles. ozzie and fizzy's is so long omg i have fizzmodeus brain rot and got carried away !! warnings :: canon typical language, pet names used instead of y/n (darling, dear, honey, bunny, babe, baby, pumpkin, sweetie), reader throws up, descriptions of throwing up, blitzø using insults as pet names, a little suggestive (blitzø and fizzmodeus)

꒰ BLITZØ ꒱

Moxxie held the phone away from his ear as he heard you trail into another coughing fit. “Can you please just tell him I can’t make it in today?” 

“You should really call him yourself.” He paced, worry etched into his brow. Millie glanced at him in concern. “If I tell him you’re sick–”

“Dont!” Your plugged nose filtered your voice. “Don’t tell him I’m sick…”

“What, why?” Moxxie paused, thinking about his boss and what exactly could happen if he were to say something. “Nevermind.” He shook his head. “What exactly am I supposed to tell him?”

“Tell who, what?” 

“Gyah!” Moxxie jolted, phone flying out of his hand as he zipped to turn and face his boss. Blitzø entered, eyes scanning the room. “Uh, nothing, Sir!”

“As much as I would love to tear you a new hole and fuck it, Mox, I have more important matters. Like finding out where the fuck my assistant is.” He frowned, realizing you hadn’t shown up yet. 

“Oh, uh, right!” Moxxie glanced at Millie, searching for some sort of answer.

“Out!” She spoke up, hands slamming on the table as she stood from her seat. “Told us to let you know! Something about picking up a recent order made for an upcoming client.”

“Fuck yeah!” Blitzø grinned before glaring, “See Mox, that’s how you get shit done. Instead of sitting here on your ass, jerking off.” 

“What? But Sir–”

“Anyways!” He strutted past the two and waltzed into his office. “Don’t bother me, I’ve got important shit I’m doing in here!” His words were followed by the slam of the door. Moxxie and Millie shared eye contact before releasing a relieved sigh.

Blitzø immediately walked over to his desk, lounging back in his chair and kicking his feet up. The place felt a bit off without you around. Typically, you two would sneak off into his office to hang out or mess around when you didn’t have any client work. 

He opened the drawers and saw the makeshift mini-figures he created of Millie, Moxxie, and you. A huge grin appeared on his lips, tongue sticking out happily. He knows exactly how to pass the time until you get back in the office. 

Except, you hadn’t come into the office for the rest of the day. Which okay, sure, you’re probably busy. But, eventually the one day turned into two; and then three; and now four. He stared down at his phone, seeing the last text you sent him five days ago. He really meant to send something, to check up on you. But would you even care if you hadn’t reached out to him first?

His eyes widened, jaw falling slack at the thought. That is until he heard Millie call out your name in an excited tone. He smiled instantly and jumped his desk, nearly ripping the door to his office off the hinges. 

“Fucking finally you show up!” He leaned against the frame, a smirk appearing on his face with his brow raised. Until he couldn’t find you. “What the–”

Millie was huddled over Moxxie’s shoulder, looking down at her phone in his hands. Loona was chilling at her desk watching videos on her own phone. “Oh, sorry, Sir. We just got a text… That’s all.”

They got a text? And not him? He gritted his teeth. “Okay, what the fuck do you– I mean. I’m the boss so– Fuck! You know what! They’re fired! See how they get by without a job, that Ass fucker.” 

“Uh, Blitzø?” Millie tried to calm him down. “You’re not actually gonna fire–”

“Oh don’t you worry your little head about it, Millie!” He stomped into a pace in front of the white board. “I’ll find out wherever the fuck they’ve been hiding and make sure–”

Loona’s phone went off, interrupting Blitzø’s rampage. Everyone stopped to look at her when she picked it up. “Hey… Yeah… You need more? Already? Yeah that’s fine… I’ll see you soon.” She hung up. The silence in the room caused her eyes to slide over to the others. They all blinked at her. 

“Oh no! You’re not going to see anyone missy!” Blitzø wagged his finger at her. She stood up, weight shifting to one side as she jutted her hip out. “Not until we find out where my shit face assistant is hiding!” 

“Are you serious?” Loona frowned at him. “They’re at their apartment.” 

“What.”

“I’ve been dropping stuff off these past few days while–”

“Oh that sexy dick sucker is gonna fucking pay!” He stormed out, not even hearing the rest of what Loona was going to say. She huffed.

“I’m not dealing with that.” She sat down in her chair again and went back to her phone. As much as she didn’t mind helping you while you recovered, she wasn’t going to try to interfere with the relationship you had with her dad. 

You felt your body tense at the loud noise heard from beyond your bedroom. Someone had knocked on your front door. You churned it up to one of your neighbors or someone with the wrong address and slowly closed your eyes once more.

The incessant banging prevented you from falling back to sleep. Now, a familiar voice had tacked on to the noise and caused you to let out a groan.

“Alright Dipshit, I know you’re in there! Open up the fuck up!” 

Knowing he’d eventually bust the door off the hinges or break the window, you arose from your sickened bedding and shuffled towards the front door with your blanket. “Go away!” You shouted, followed by a few short coughs. That stopped his thumping. 

“Gross, why the fuck do you sound like that?” 

“Oh fuck you, Blitzø!” You really had zero patience. The past few days your flu has only been getting worse. Loona tried to help out with the few things she brought over but whatever sickness you had was stubborn as hell. 

It was quiet… You encircled your blanket tighter around you as you got closer to the door, looking through the peephole and seeing that he was no longer there. Damn. Guess that worked. Which was odd knowing Blitzø.

“What the shit is this?!” Shouting came from your bedroom, followed by shuffling feet and your door slamming open to reveal the person you thought had left. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Oh my Satan.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to your couch, feeling yourself become overly hot. “You can’t just break in when I don’t open the door!” You relinquished your blanket while sitting down. “I told you to leave!” 

“Yeah right!” He strutted over. “Just tell me the real reason you’re avoiding me!” Your eyes widened.

“What?”

“You may think your sorry ass was gonna get away with this,” He began pacing in front of your couch. “But I’ve got you all figured out.” He gestured wildly with his words.

“Blitzø.”

 “Texting with M&M… having my own Loonie visit you… not talking with me at all!”

“Blitzø!”

 “You really think it could go on without me–”

“I’m sick you dumbass!” You shouted and spurred a few coughs from you. He paused, slowly turning towards you. He finally took a real good look at your form. Runny nose that was rubbed to dry, bleary eyes, sunken cheeks. 

His eyes widened. “You mean… You didn’t just play hooky to avoid me?”

“No!” You shook your head. “Satan no, I would love to be at work right now.”

Blitzø sighed and glanced at your bedroom, seeing the trail of snotty tissues he pushed through to get to your living room. “Well that explains those.” 

You tried to smile, though it came off wearily. “Not to mention, I’ve thrown up twice already.” He glanced back at you. “And that’s just today!” It was quiet as he peered at the floor. 

He walked over, sitting next to you. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Your eyes met his, seeing them drill into your own with a hidden desire of curiosity and… hurt.

“Because…” You glanced away. “Clients have been slow… And, when I saw the rush of appointments we had this week, I didn’t want anything to mess it up or… Be in the way.” You squeezed your hands around your arms.

You felt something gently encircling your waist before yanking you closer to Blitzø. You peered down to see the tip of his tail. He rested his head against your own, sighing. “Fucking idiot.” He whispered. And although it was an insult, you know that it was from a place of endearment.

You scoffed a laugh before poking him in the chest. “You’ll get sick.”  You tried to push him away. He merely brushed your hands away and pulled you closer to him. 

“Fuck it, a few days off of work doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Except I’ll be the one that has to take care of your whiny ass when you do get sick.” 

He glanced at you. “Damn… your raspy voice is making my dick so hard right now.” He wiggled his eyebrows a few times. “Wanna fuck?” He smirked.

Leaning in, you feel a flutter within your stomach.“Oh~ Blitzø.” You whined, eyes half-lidded. Your cheeks filled with liquid before releasing the contents of your soup from earlier. Chunks flew onto his lap and all over the couch. The horrid taste coated your tongue as leftover bile leaked down your chin.

Blitzø sighed, slowly pushing your heaving face away from his dick. “Yeah I probably deserved that.”

꒰ STOLAS ꒱

The bird prince had just finished preparing himself, placing his crown on and taking one last glance in the mirror. He would be meeting you soon and wanted to look his best considering you both would be spending the whole day together. His phone buzzed and he chirped with excitement. He made quick steps over to his phone with a smile. That is, until he saw your text.

Stolas honey, I can’t make it. I’m so sorry.  I think I’ve caught some kind of flu. Can we reschedule?

He felt his brows crease immediately, frown sinking its way onto his lips. “Flu?” He questioned. Well this wasn’t good at all. His fingers immediately began typing.

Hello darling, I’m so sorry to hear that… Perhaps we could be together even while you're sick. A little company while feeling ill always seems to help me.  Would you like it if I came over? I could help take care of you while you recover. I don’t mind really, I just want to make sure you have everything you need to feel better. Of course, we don’t have to if you don’t want to

He anxiously awaited a reply, pacing across his room in front of his vanity. Did he come off too needy? Maybe he should have just wished you to feel better and be on his way. But how could he when his loved one is feeling sick? He saw that you read the messages and were currently typing. The bubbles went away a few times and with each passing second, he felt his stomach twist with nerves.

I really want to see you…  But I would hate for you to get sick :(

His response back was almost immediate.

No problem at all darling, I promise. A little sickness won’t harm me. I’ll see you in a few <3

After reading his text back, you wearily smiled. As much as you wanted to tell him not to come, in fear of him catching whatever bug you had, you were desperately hoping to see him today. Things had been hectic in both of your schedules so it had been awhile since you two had seen each other. Let alone have time to go out and do activities together. 

And of course, Satan was a bitch and chose today of all days to curse you. Or should you say, this entire week he’s been testing your limit. It started out as a small cough and runny nose. It might have gone away faster if you weren’t so stubborn, but that little bit turned into a full blown, body ache and fever. 

You laid back down in your bed, placing your phone on your bedside table and sighing. It will be nice to see Stolas, that’s for sure. Having been away from him for so long was taking its toll on you. He really did recharge your draining battery. You closed your eyes, thinking about his caring nature and loving words. Oh to see him will possibly end this sickness instantly.

Stolas pulled his phone out and texted that he had arrived. He grabbed the bags from his car and waved his chauffeur away. The car drove off as he walked up to your door. He knocked a few times, hoping it wouldn’t be much trouble for you to answer. “Darling?” He called out but received no answer. The prince called your cell but again, no answer. He huffed, wondering if you decided on not wanting to see him. Or what if… You were really sick. So sick that you were dying! 

Stolas broke in immediately, feet trailing through your place as if he lived there. He found his way into your bedroom, opening the door and seeing you in bed. A long breath escaped his worried lungs, feeling relief when he saw your chest moving in a deep sleep as he walked over.

“Oh, my dear.” He placed a hand on his chest, kneeling down to the side of your bed. Stolas felt an ache grow within his heart as he gazed at your form. Sweaty, shaking, breathless. You appeared tired even as you slept. “My darling, why would you push yourself like this.” He could simply tell that you didn’t get sick today alone, but were most likely not taking care of yourself as you should have been.

His hand reached out, caressing your overly warm forehead before raking his fingers lightly along your scalp. The motion slowly brought you awake, eyes fluttering open to see your lover aside your bed. 

“Stolas.” You smiled dreamily before realizing he had arrived. You pushed yourself up. “Oh my goodness, I feel asleep!” Your eyes were wide as your outburst shocked him. Sitting up so quickly, you felt pressure bloom in your head and held it. “Ow…”

“Careful, dear.” He placed a hand on your leg, circling it to soothe you with some comfort. “I’m here now. You don’t have to worry your sick–” He booped your nose. “–little head about anything.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’ll always be here to take care of you.”

꒰ ASMODEUS & FIZZAROLLI ꒱

“Hm?” You felt your blurred vision focus on the jester in front of you, headache making itself even more prominent the more you tried to will it away. 

“Agree with my choice for dinner after the show tonight!” He bounced in place, arms motivating his movements. 

“Oh, uh… Yeah sure.” You stood up and quickly walked over to your vanity, a shaky hand reaching out for the edge as you sat. Asmodeus and Fizz watched as your behavior was completely different from how you typically were before a night at Ozzie’s.

“Oh Honey~” Oz's sultry voice dug into your skull. “Something the matter?” He asked, cautious of your emotions. You shook your head, a strained smile appearing on your lips. 

“Not at all!” Heat rushed over your face, a sweat now brewing from an oncoming fever. “Just nervous for tonight. The new routine and all.” You glanced away.

“Aw, our little Bunny is all shakin’ up?” Ozzie walked over, his finger caressing your chin and tilting your face to look up at him. “That don’t sound right at all~” He smirked, though you could see the underlying worry in his eyes as they dipped at the corners.

Sleek metal arms squeezed around you and brought you into a tight hug. “Don’t worry, Babe! If you forget a step or two, just look at me and I’ll help you out.” He wagged his eyebrows at you, tongue sticking out of his upturned lips.

You let out a nervous laugh, feeling the sweat begin to build up on your forehead. “Yeah, thanks, Fizzy.” He leaned in, cheeks squishing together as you both glanced at yourselves in the mirror. The clammy coating on your skin dug into your mind. You worried he might feel just how warm you were becoming due to your fever. You recoiled quickly. “Uh, I think it’s time!” You grabbed your matching cap n’ bells and placed it on your head.

Fizz was saddened at your reaction, peaking at Oz to see if he felt the weird tension coming off of you. As much as he wanted to push for more, he worried that he would upset you. But he couldn’t just let you go without doing something. “Hey.” Fizz grabbed your shoulders, turning you towards him oh so gently, his voice softening. “Are you really okay?” His eyes dewed as his lips pulled into pout. 

Your head tilted to the side, bells jingling as you did. “Yes, yes! Of course!” You released a heavy breath, stomach churning. “I’m fine! Totally fine!” Your voice cracked at the end of your words. You stepped closer to the door, escaping your dear Fizzy’s hold. “I’ll get into position now!” You opened the door, beginning to wave at them with your fingers. “Bruise some knees and make them cum, my lustful babes!” 

Finally you were free from the room, air so heavy you felt as if it weighed you down. Breathe. Just breathe. You began climbing the ladder to the catwalk to get into position for the opening act that was supposed to start shortly. Your stomach rolled a few more times with the movement, causing you to clasp a hand around your mouth. You felt the bile raise into your throat with a burp but swallowed it back down. The taste barely coating your tongue. 

Don’t. Puke. Just put on the show and everything will be fine. You grasped the stripper pole in front of you, hearing the introductions begin. Your platform would be lowered down anytime now. Your knuckles tightened around the metal. Breathe. You closed your eyes. 

A jolt sent a shake through your legs as you felt yourself beginning to descend. Slowly, the glowing eyes of the audience came into view, spotlights on you as the music blared loudly. 

“The one! The only!” Fizz spoke into the mic, arm outstretched in your direction. Breathe. Smile. Show time. He screamed your name, you flashed a strained grin and began your routine, singing your solo part. 

It was going fine for the first few minutes. Your duet with Fizz and the routine felt as if it was muscle memory. Until he grabbed your hand and began to spin you, a few times too many than what you had practiced. When he had finished, he sprung onto the opposite side of the stage and continued his performance. But you, on the other hand, were left in a dizzying mess.

You stumbled, trying to hold your bearings as much as possible. The flashing spotlights made things worse the more you tried to focus on not throwing up. Unfortunately, that made everything more difficult. The lights centered on you, awaiting your final high-note. Ozzie watched your hunched over form, his faces frowning in concern.

Fizz peered at you, his smile faltering when he noticed your hand clasped over your mouth and the pained expression you displayed. He took a few steps closer but you bolted off stage, exiting fast behind the curtain. The two remaining snapped to look at each other before Asmodeus flashed away in a heartbeat. 

Fizzy glanced at the crowd, his worrisome face disappeared to the silly grin he always held. He addressed the situation and transitioned to the next act seamlessly, covering for you as if that whole mishap was supposed to happen. He left the stage quickly while the next performance took over. Making his way in the direction you ran off in, he was able to locate you and Ozzie in the bathroom next to the dressing room. Concern etched onto his face as he saw you.

Oz had shifted to his smaller form, hand caressing your back as your head hovered the toilet bowl. “Ahw, it's okay baby. Let it out.” Sweet velvet tones caressed you in comfort as tears streaked down your face. Fizz’s heels clicked over before he sat down on the other side of you. His metal limbs cool against your heated skin. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wanted too–” You hiccuped. 

“Hey, hey, calm down, babe.” Fizz spoke gently, petting your head as you leaned into him. “You should have told us you weren’t feeling well.”

“Froggy’s right.” Oz added. “The show means nothing if your health is at risk.” He tilted your face to look at him. “You mean everything to us. You come first.” Your eyes watered at his words, lip quivering. 

“I-I wanna go home.” You sputtered, a hand reaching out to each of them and squeezing tightly. Fizz leaned his head against yours, tail pulling you closer to him.

“I’ll nurse you better, Baby.” He smiled. 

“Sounds like,” You hiccuped, followed by a sniffle. “A fun new roleplay we can try.” You quipped with a smirk.

“And we can wear cute nurse outfits!” Fizzy kicked his feet, tongue blepped at the thought. 

Ozzie stood, shifting to his larger form and grabbing you both in his arms, lifting you. “After Bunny is feeling better, okay you two?”  He shook his head, though an endearing smile remained as he ducked through the door, ready to take his lovers home and get you on your way to recovery. 

꒰ MOXXIE & MILLIE ꒱

“Uh… Babe?”

“Yeah?” Moxxie called from the bathroom, his mouth garbled with the spit from foamy toothpaste.

Millie felt your forehead with the back of her hand, noticing your abnormal body temperature almost immediately. “Our little Pumpkin is burning up right now.”

“What?” He spat the extra fluoride into the sink and ran out into the bedroom. He saw you still in bed, body curled up and face scrunched in pain. “Oh, crumbs.” He quickly got closer, sitting on the mattress and copying his wife’s actions. His brows dipped in concern as he stared down at you, his other hand going to your shoulder and rubbing softly. 

“We’ll have to call in.” Millie bit her lip, brows furrowing. “We can’t go to work and leave ‘em here alone.”

“You’re right, Sweetie.” He stood back up. “I’ll call and look for some ibuprofen to help with the fever.”

“I’ll fix up some tea.” Millie leaned over, her lips gently placing a kiss on your clammy forehead before she walked away into the kitchen.

“Wait!” You tried sitting up even though there was an immense amount of pressure in your head. They both looked at you worriedly. “Don’t stay home…” Millie came and sat next to you, her hand rubbing your back as you held your head in discomfort. “I can take care of myself, okay?” You looked at her. “I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, honey.” Her eyes stared at you, taking in every bit of your face. “We know that. And before you were with us, that may have been what you’re used to. But ‘round here we take care of each other.” She leaned in, forehead kissing yours as you both closed your eyes at the contact. Moxxie sighed at the scene, his hands hovering his heart. 

He walked closer. “And we’ll always be here.” He kneeled on the bed, scooting closer before kissing your cheek. “We’re taking the day off. No matter what you try to say to convince us not to.” He smiled gently before grabbing his cell and returning to his task from before. 

You melted at both of their actions, the care and comfort they offered so endlessly being a new feeling to you. Typically, you’d get sick and fight through it on your own. Sleeping in bed and rotting until it finally flushed itself from your system. But this was a completely different feeling, one that you’re slowly getting used to and relishing in the affection.

Moxxie called your boss and through a shit ton of convincing, he was finally able to get Blitzø to agree and let the three of you have the day off. It was basically the entire staff for I.M.P. that wasn’t going to show up for the day, so obviously he was pissed.

Millie walked in and handed you some tea while Moxxie came over with some medication in his hand. “This should help with your fever.” You were able to take them easily and sipped your tea. 

“Need anything else right now, Sweetie?” Millie asked. You shook your head, slowly handing the tea back.

“I kinda wanna just sleep right now.” You muttered, glancing at the covers over your legs.

“Mind if we join you?” She smiled softly, her voice quiet to not make things any worse. “A little cuddle session always makes you and Moxxie feel better.”

“I don’t want you two getting sick.” You glanced between them. “As much as I would love to.”

“Well, technically we already slept together last night.” Moxxie began before crawling under the covers and getting situated on his side of the bed. 

“That’s right!” Millie followed his actions, scooting you over so you were in between them. “If we get sick, then we’ll be sick together.” She snuggled right into your side, her tail looping around you and Mox and squeezing tightly. You felt another warm sensation crawl across your skin though this time, it wasn’t due to your fever. You sighed, eyes fluttering shut, feeling your lovers’ arms circle around you.

An odd sound was heard from the ceiling before a hefty lump landed onto the bed. Everyone's eyes shot open to see a familiar person.

“Sir!?” Moxxie called out, voice raised. 

“Fuck this shit!” Blitzø got up and stormed out of the bedroom. “I thought yall would be porking it up in a sexy threeway!”

likes and reblogs appreciated !! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ

[theautisticwriter]

Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli

Show- Helluva Boss

Genre- romantic, yandere

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention

Word count- 1.5K

Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!

key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname

———————————————————

By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do

Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??

the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.

i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)

^glue

it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.

ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D

from the only bitch worth ur time,

blitzø

&lt;3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)

———————————————————

Hiya sweet cheeks!!!

It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!

How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.

Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?

Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!

Until next time sweetheart,

Your Mills! ♡

———————————————————

Hi y/n,

It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.

As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.

We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.

I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.

All my love,

Your Moxxie <3

———————————————————

Uh, hi?

Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck

Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?

Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.

Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.

I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?

See you,

Love from,

Regards?

Bye y/n,

Loona.

———————————————————

My dearest y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.

Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?

I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.

We truly are written in the stars!

Yours until the end of the sky and then some,

Stolas.

———————————————————

Hey there baby,

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.

I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.

It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.

Sincerely yours,

Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo

———————————————————

Heya cutie!

Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?

Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!

And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.

I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P

Love from,

Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!

———————————————————

[itsmarsss]

Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 7 - Ozzie's

How the mighty do fall. (Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn't exactly considered classy, Stolas)

It's a date! (But is it really?)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9 | 2nd bonus

Word count: 5,212

Warnings: you ask blitz to not be a dick and what does he do? yeah he's a bit of a dick. a big reveal abt reader's past (will be explored more in depth later), terrible just awful communication skills.

Alright, however much blood you got on yourself, business today was kind of pretty fucking awesome. 

The four of you walk through the portal, all still riding high on the adrenaline rush the day’s kills provided you. Blitzø’s the first to set foot back into the office, throwing his head back and brandishing his new axe around. “Woo! That was a fuckton of lumberjacks!” 

There were eleven of them, to be exact.

Moxxie walks in right after him, looking a little too excited as he held up a chainsaw, still on and rumbling.

Millie’s next, covered in more blood than anyone else, as usual- clearly in a great mood, going as far as biting the wooden handle of the axe she was holding in half.  “Ahh! I’m still so jazzed up!” 

You walk in last, examining the huge new knife you got for yourself, pleased. Nothing like putting down five huge-ass dudes on your own and getting a cool new knife for your collection to get you in a good mood. 

Moxxie discards the chainsaw into the portal, and Loona closes it off. “Well, you better stay jazzed up, babe,” he tells Millie, shooting finger guns at her. “‘Cause guess where I’m taking you tonight?”

“Don’t you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie! Besides, drinks are on me tonight! Let’s hit up the new drive down the street,” Blitzø suggests, excited.

Moxxie looks down to the floor, then back at him. “Actually, sir, it’s our one year marriage anniversary, so I’m taking Millie to Ozzie’s, all the way down in the Lust Ring!” He announces, proud of himself. 

Millie’s eyes immediately light up, and she gasps in excitement at the revelation. “Ozzie’s? No way! That place is always booked.”

Yeah, you should know that. In fact, you already knew Moxxie was taking her there, too- he’d approached you the previous week, asking if you could do him a ‘big favor’. You didn’t know what to expect of this supposed big favor, but when he asked if you could maybe call Ozzie personally and arrange him and Millie a reservation for their anniversary, you let out a laugh.

“Oh, that’s it?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Of course I can, Mox, are you kidding?”

“That’s awesome!” He’d hugged you tight. “Thank you so, so much, y/n!”

You smile, pleased with Millie’s reaction. You knew she’d love it. Moxxie had mentioned he’d tell her you’d helped, but you’d told him not to, leaving all the credit for him. He deserved it. 

He sends you a thankful glance when Millie squeaks out his name and quite literally jumps on him, kissing him all over. The scene is so sweet it’s almost gross. 

“Ugh, can you two not?” Blitzø complains.

Moxxie’s out of breath when he pulls away, looking a little high-headed after the distraction. “I’m sorry, sir. Maybe another time!” 

“Oh, it’s fine! I- I can come with the two of  you, help you celebrate your boring-as-fuck-monogamy.”

There’s no way he just seriously suggested that. “What? Dude. No.”

Moxxie matches your tone. “Yeah. No.The reservation is for us.”

“Uh-huh,” Blitzø agrees, nodding, as if that changes absolutely nothing to him. Did he genuinely not get the hint or is he playing dumb at this point?

“Just. Us. Millie and I.”

“Uh-huh,” he repeats, still nodding as if he doesn’t see the issue. 

“Without you there. Explicitly without you there.”

He completely disregards Moxxie’s words. “I’ll wear something nice. It’s a big deal after all.” Ah, got it. Playing dumb.

Moxxie’s left eye twitches at his attitude, but, in turn, he just turns around, walking towards the door. “You want a ride or not?” He turns back around to ask you, and you try to shoot Moxxie a reassuring look that’s meant to say you’ll get some sense through his skull before you follow him out. “See you lovebugs later!”

You start scolding him as soon as you get to the parking lot. “Could you be any more inconvenient?”

“The fuck do you mean?” 

“The fuck do I mean? They don’t want you there, Blitz. It’s their anniversary. Whatever fantasies you have about them don’t make you a part of their relationship, you realize that, don’t you?” The two of you get to the van, and he unlocks the doors so you can get in before he says anything in return.

“Fuck you, I made that couple happen, bitch. I deserve to be part of this ‘anniversary dinner’. And you do too, I know there ain’t no way Moxxie got that reservation without your help.”

“Yeah and that one-hundred percent does not give me any right to crash their date. Don’t you fucking go to Ozzie’s tonight. You hear me?”

“Oh yeah keep telling me what to do baby, I’m almost there!” He exaggerates.

“I’m so serious right now.”

Blitzø scoffs at your threatening tone. “Don’t remember you being the boss of me.”

“I am telling you, as a friend, that you’re being inconvenient. They’ll get pissed at you and they’ll be right to.”

“Yeah well I don’t fucking care.”

“Come on Blitz, just give them a break. I’ll even go with you to that place you wanted to go!” You try. 

“Really?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun. And very far from Millie and Mox so they can enjoy their night out alone,” you make sure to point out.

“Fine. Whatever.”

Blitzø drops you off at your apartment so you can get ready with a yell of ‘be quick we don’t have all night!’ as he drives off, going home himself to shower and change too before he’s back to pick you up. 

“If I didn’t know you I’d think you’re dressing to impress me here,” he raises an eyebrow suggestively as he gives you a very exaggerated once-over.

“Yeah in your dreams maybe,” you retort immediately, used to his comments by now, as you get into the passenger seat.

“Oh my dreams about you don’t involve any clothes what-so-ever.”

“Gross.”

He shrugs. “Ready?”

“Sure. What’s the place called again?”

“Uuuuhh, don’t worry about it. We’re going somewhere new.”

You notice he’s extra chatty during the ride, talking your ear off and turning up the radio so the two of you can sing the songs out. You realize why he was going out of his way to distract you when suddenly you take a look out the window and recognize the neighborhood. 

He’s taken you to the Lust Ring, and it’s not very hard to imagine why when he parks just a couple blocks from Ozzie’s. You feel disappointed, and honestly a little naive, to have thought he’d take you to a fun night out instead of just doing whatever he wanted to do. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? This is the one place I said, repeatedly, that we couldn’t go!”

“Oh, boo-hoo, so I’m taking you out on a nice fucking fancy-ass dinner, what a terrible fucking thing to do!”

“Except you’re not taking me out, you just don’t know your fucking boundaries and you wanna spend your sorry-ass night spying on Millie and Moxxie.”

“Eh. Potato, potato.”

“You pronounced it the exact same.”

He shrugs. 

“We’re leaving.”

“What? No!”

“Well I am. And you don’t have a reservation,” you point out, trying to make it clear he’s not getting in. Did he only bring you out with him in the hopes you’d manage to get him a table by pulling some strings? “And you can’t get in without a date so sucks to be you.”

“Well I’m not taking you anywhere,” he crosses his arms over his chest, matter-of-factly.

“‘Course you’re fucking not. We were supposed to just have some fun tonight. I can’t believe this. You’re a fucking prick, you know that, right?” You let your frustration spill out in your words, and you pull your phone out to see if you can find a ride on Reaper, not in the mood to be out anymore and desperately wanting to get back home at this point.

“Yeah, yeah, and you’re a whiny bitch but I don’t keep telling you that, do I?”

You send him a dirty look, sitting on the curb as you wait for the app to find you a car, and he fucks off to the alleyway behind you to do Satan-knows-what. After a while, still down on your luck with the ride, you’re startled when a portal is opened only a couple feet in front of you, and it takes you a couple seconds to register the fact that it’s Stolas who walks out of it. 

“Stolas?”

“Stolaaass!” Blitzø calls out, as if already expecting him. Was he already expecting him? Is this what you thought it was- you telling him you wouldn’t get into Ozzie’s with him and him just calling Stolas up, simple as ever, to fulfill that role instead?

“What are you doing here?” You ask the prince, not really meaning to sound rude, but it comes out demanding of an answer regardless, and he tilts his head to the side, as if confused by the fact that you apparently didn’t know he’d be coming.

“Wow. Outfit’s a little overkill, don’t ya think?” Blitzø tells him, and you resist the urge to pettily flick at his forehead at the lack of common sense. Why the fuck would you say that?

Stolas looks down to the floor, embarrassed. “Did you… not know I was coming, y/n?”

“No. Did Blitzø call you here?”

“Yes, I- I assumed-” He looks at Blitzø, now referring to the comment about his outfit as well. “I wanted to look nicer for you. This is our first real date, after all… right?” he explains himself, motioning between the three of you.

“A date?” You whip your head around to look at Blitzø. That’s what he told Stolas this was?

“Surprise! We’re having a date!”

“Blitz I swear to Satan, this is so out of pocket-”

“Is something not right, y/n?” Stolas asks, and it completely disarms you. He seems so genuinely excited about this ‘date’ that you can’t get yourself to ruin it for him by revealing what only you knew- that what he thought was a date was just a selfish ploy for Blitzø to spy on Millie and Moxxie for whatever fucking reason he had.

And so you find yourself reassuring him. “No. Not at all.”

“Ya still wanna leave now?” Blitzø whispers, all cocky and annoying and- fuck, he can just be so stubborn it’s insufferable sometimes. You grit your teeth but say nothing in return, and the three of you walk up to the stairs by the entrance. 

You don’t recognize the incubus who greets you. Must be new. He eyes the three of you up and down, as if trying to gather how the fuck this whole thing happened. “Y’all three together?” He asks, an eyebrow raised.

“Yes,” Stolas tells him. 

“Alrightt, that’s fucking hot! Y’all got a reservation?”

Before you can even think of telling him to talk to Ozzie, Stolas speaks up again. “Do we need one?” He asks, glaring at the man, as if challenging him to say yes. The man gulps before opening a smile and bowing at him. “No! Uh, shit, my apologies, Your Highness. Right this way.”

You feel the ever-growing urge to facepalm as hard as you possibly can the very second you enter the lounge, because Blitzø immediately starts sneaking around the place like he’s a character in some low-budget spy movie. 

Stolas looks around the place, mesmerized. “Oh, my! Oh, no! No, but also yes!” He’s been there countless times (you should know), but only then do you realize he’s never stayed or even visited for matters that weren’t aligned with his royal duties. He’s stupid rich and he’s never dined at Ozzie’s?

Oh.

He’s only ever been with that wife of his before you and Blitzø happened. And- oh, fuck. Was this his first ever date? Shit.

You pull Blitzø down to whisper to him as you walk to your table. “Blitz, you’re gonna be fucking nice tonight, alright?”

“Hey I’m always a fucking delight!”

“I’m serious. I think he’s never been on a date before.”

“What? That’s not true.”

“Look he’s clearly excited to be here, please don’t be a dick, okay?”

“You calling me that for free?”

“The outfit comment was not cool.”

“Oh you guys are so fucking sensitive.” He dismisses your words, sitting down on the chair that had been arranged for him, a couple books placed on the seat so his height could be aligned properly with the round table’s.

Stolas is beaming as soon as the three of you sit down. “Oh, how romantic is this? I have never stayed here longer than I needed to. It’s so charming!”

“Yeah, it sounded like- I just thought we’d have a blast here,” Blitzø tells him, barely present in the conversation as he pulls out his goddamn fucking binoculars out of his pocket, surely trying to find out where Millie and Moxxie were seated. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s lovely, right? And it’s where I met both of you! Isn’t that so nice, Blitz?” You kick him under the table, and he shoots you a dirty glare before turning back around. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a real romantic- oh gotcha!”

Stolas tilts his head to the side, trying to figure out what is happening. “Uh, Blitz, what are you looking at?”

“I’m looking at nothing. How about that?” So much for not being a dick. Luckily, a server approaches the table just then, averting Stolas’ attention from Blitzø. 

“So, can I get you three off?” She takes a long pause before ‘correcting’ herself. “I mean, start you three off with some drinks?” It actually was normal taught practice for the ‘slip-ups’ to happen- you should know, you trained countless servers during your time there. It still makes Stolas blush out of embarrassment, caught off-guard by it.

“Yes! Um, perhaps some… wine, to share?” He glances at you, and you smile at him, nodding in agreement. “Blitz?” 

“What?”

“Would you like some wine, too?”

“Yeah why not?”

“Do you prefer red or white? Or perhaps some champagne?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Blitzø replies dryly, very clearly barely paying any attention to what was said to him as he didn’t even bother turning around to face the two of you.

“Uh- I- uh-”

“What if we-” you begin, trying to help Stolas not freak out.

“Perhaps we should order all three! Ha! Why not?” He suggests, and it sort of sounds like he is sort of freaking out, but you don’t argue. 

“Yeah that sounds good.”

“So! How was the day at I.M.P.?” Stolas tries. 

“Oh? Uh, it was good, I guess. We killed a bunch of beardos. She can tell you about it,” Blitzø tells him, this time sparing one single glance back and pointing vaguely at you. How thoughtful.

“Oh?”

“Uh, business was pretty good today. What he meant with killing a bunch of beardos is that we had more targets than usual, which is good. They just happened to be a bunch of lumberjacks, strangely enough. But I’m sure you don’t wanna hear about us killing people, right?”

“No! It sounds like fun!” It definitely didn’t look like he thought so, but rather that he was desperately trying to build a connection. One that Blitzø currently didn’t seem to give a flying fuck about. “Uh, how did you kill them?”

The question at least seemed to pique Blitzø’s interest, as he actually turns around and puts down the binoculars to answer it. “How? I mean, there was a lot of ‘em, so… bullets?”

“Right! Right. So… what made you decide to plan a date after all this time?”

Shit. “Uuuuuuhhh…” Blitzø scratches the back of his head, trying to think of what to say. Fuck, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t-

Thankfully, for all of you, you’re sure, he doesn’t get to finish whatever he was about to try and say, as the lights dim and Fizzarolli’s voice sounds through the lounge. “Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight.” He descends down the pole right in the middle of the stage, and you notice his greeting routine sounds different. It’s a weird feeling to see so much change since you left. “Welcome, welcome to Ozzie’s, Lust Ring’s number one place for all kinds of sick, twisted fantasies, put on display for all you sleaze and sleazettes, the gem joint of Asmodeus himself. Come on, give him some love!”

“Did he just say Asmodeus?” Stolas questions out loud.

“He likes to make an appearance sometimes,” you explain, but, internally, it made you nervous. You did not need Ozzie to see you on a date tonight.

Stolas nods, and Blitzø lets out a groan. “Oh, no fucking way. Not him!” He hides his face behind the menu that had been placed in front of him, and he’s still never told you what happened between him and Fizz, but that has to be a bit dramatic, doesn't it? 

“I am the one and only Fizzarolli.” The clown continues, pulling up a Loo Loo Land flyer with his robotic version, ‘Robo Fizz’, on it. “Some of you might recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous replicas across the rings of Hell, gloriously designed by the big man himself, and uh,” he traces his hand up his own robotic arm in a rather suggestive way, “ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight: Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream, and The Squirters!” 

The lights shine on them, and suddenly you understand Blitzø’s need to hide. “Shit, she’s here?”

“Do you know her?” Stolas asks you, and you don’t reply.

“But as everyone’s warming up, I got a funny one for y’all!” Fizz keeps on. “Did any of you hear about the batshittery that happened at Loo Loo Land?” He laughs. “Oh yeah, I’ll tell you what, I’d sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off-brand shithole, and then slap a fat subpoena in it, ‘cause I’m very much looking to sue. That robo-me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean.”

Someone in the lounge stands up from their seat, waving their hand around. “I know! I know what you mean! I have four of ‘em!” They announce, loud and proud, and you realize their date is one of those. It’s freaky enough for you to know security’s sure to keep an eye on them for the rest of the night to make sure they stay far away from Fizzarolli.

“So! Without wasting more time! Our little opening act is a fresh one, coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring. Give it up for… Moxxie! With no creative stage name whatsoever.”

Moxxie stands up, taking his guitar with him, and kisses Millie before taking Fizzarolli’s place on the stage. That he hadn’t told you about, and knowing it was probably because he wanted to keep that moment to themselves makes you feel shitty about being there. He taps the mic before speaking. “Hello, everyone. Um. Hi. Thank you for letting me be here. It’s an honor to play.” Someone yells at him to hurry up, and he looks a bit nervous at it before he keeps on. “This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary. I love you, Millie.”

I love you More than the brimstone loves the fire, more than beelze loves her bub, more than a maggot loves gangrenous stubs You make my spirit sing Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell Our love is a story sweet to tell Yeah, you cast a special Satanic spell over my heart Love is a journey we decided to start Yeah, I hope we’ll never, ever be apart I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I-

Shit, Moxxie.

If he had told you about this, you would have warned him Ozzie’s was not the right place to perform a love song. But he didn’t, and so…

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,”, Ozzie and Fizz sang along, making their way onto the stage, very clearly mocking and laughing at him. 

Who’s singing love songs in my lustful lounge?

So Ozzie was performing tonight. Must be in a good mood. 

Ozzie’s ain’t the place for sentimental sounds!

What’d you expect from a proprietor like us?

Your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lust…

Give me a thrust! Show me some lust! From the groin to the bust, in desire we trust, in the House of Asmodeus

Trumpet! Gah!

Little imp, you came here to sing your serenade Perform your feelings in the velvety stage Well, we got a saying that’s popular in these parts

‘Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts’

You wanna hang around this lustful town? Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around

How hypocritical.

In here we sing about wants and desires

Depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fire!

So give me a thrust Show me some lust From the groin to the bust Little imp, you just must In the House of Asmodeus Come on, sing us a song! Make sure the subject is getting it on Make it graphic and tactfully long

Make sure to rhyme ‘thong’ and ‘schlong’!

Go ahead, the mic’s on!

After a good while of tossing Moxxie around as Ozzie and Fizz sang, they set the mic in front of him once again. He takes a deep breath before strumming his guitar and giving it a try.

I want to 

Yeah, what do you want? Butt stuff? Piss play? Bondage?

Make gentle love to you

Oh, Moxxie. 

Ugh, what a limp-dick imp, you’re really killing the vibe Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride!

Blitzø stands up from his seat. Why the fuck is he standing up from his seat? 

“Hey now, I’ve watched those two pork many times, and, honestly, they make missionary look relatively exciting!” 

You should have known he’d feel the need to try and defend them in some way, but this was really, really not a good idea. If you didn’t want any of your friends to see you there up until then, now he’d managed to basically call out for their attention. 

“What? Blitz!” Moxxie yells out, as if he can’t believe he’s actually there. His eyes find you too, and he furrows his eyebrows together. You feel ashamed that you ended up there, and even more so that his moment was getting ruined in so many ways.

Fizzarolli opens a grin. “Is that Blitzo? So you’re showing your face?”

Hey, everybody!  This guy’s a total disgrace Some nerve you got to comment on a relationship Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!

As if things couldn’t get any worse, Verosika stands up, the lights immediately panning to her, and she joins in. 

Oh, Blitzo? I used to date him 

“Oh, Verosika, you’re here.”

I’d stroke him, I’d fellate him But when it was my turn He did no reciprocating  A selfish imp in the sheets  And just as bad on the streets A reckless, heart-breaking freak

You silently pray to Lucifer for her to not see you, or just not mention you, or-

“Oh am I interrupting your date, y/n?” She spits out. 

I should have known it I should have guessed you’re not above it  How long left till they’re abandoned? Do they know they’re not your standard?  The prince would better watch out Just get too close and he’s out Give it some time, she’ll flake out

You look down at your hands over your lap and you wish the ground would just swallow you whole. Stolas looks between you and Blitzø, trying to assimilate what just happened. “Did the both of you date her?”

Who’s that at your table? Is your date a demon prince? Stolas, is that you?

Are you sleeping with an imp?

My dark lord, how the mighty do fall! You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all! I hope you didn’t give it up so they could help you get it up…

Stolas hides his face behind the menu, not unlike Blitzø had done earlier, like he’s… embarrassed to be called out for being on a date with the two of you. It feels like a gut punch, to come down to the realization that, yeah, of course he’s embarrassed, he’s a prince, for Lucifer’s sake. 

Your eyes feel like they’re burning, and you have to hold back tears from streaming down your face. 

You sold your life for a thrust! Now that’s the spirit of Lust Grab your groin or a bust You better get your hair mussed Pretend you don’t see that crust Hump ‘till your junk turns to dust In the House of Asmode-

You stand up in preoccupation for Millie when she simply knocks Fizzarolli down to the ground. 

“Hey!” Ozzie exclaims, helping Fizz get up. You see the rage in his eyes- Millie was crazy to have done that- and he looks back at you. The worry in your expression and the furious shaking of your head, wordlessly asking him not to do anything, are accepted, and Millie is left unharmed purely for the sake of you. 

“I think you were tryin’ to sing somethin’ for me, Mox.”

“Yeah, I was.”

I love us I love us just the way we are Don’t have to pretend to like to do things we don’t I’ve always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes I’ll never take you for granted I’ll always give you my best If you can offer the same thing we’ll handle the rest ‘Cause I love you ‘Cause I love you

Blitzø looks undoubtedly hurt and undeniably uncomfortable and, shit, it was very much warranted. You felt the exact same, ashamed of getting called out by Verosika, hurt by having Ozzie of all people put you all on blast, feeling stupid for feeling hurt by Stolas so very clearly looking embarrassed to be seen on a date with you. 

Stolas looks worried, but doesn’t get to form any words before Blitzø speaks up. “You know what, this was a mistake, alright? Let’s just- let’s just leave.”

For the first time the entire night, you agree with him. “Yeah. We should go.”

“Oh. Right. Of course,” Stolas agrees, and the three of you get up, making your way to the exit. You didn’t even get to try the fucking wine. 

You glance back at Ozzie on your way out, and he raises his eyebrows in concern when his eyes meet yours. You know that face. He only just realized he hurt you with what he did, and you know he’ll let you be for the rest of the night, but you’re sure to expect him to show up at your place tomorrow to apologize. 

You also take a glance at Millie and Moxxie, still on the stage, and mouth an ‘I’m sorry’ to them before exiting the place. 

The drive to Stolas’ place is quiet and uncomfortable and it makes holding yourself back from crying much, much harder. You’re not even sure why Stolas is getting a ride, as he’d portaled himself to Ozzie’s and could very much just portal himself back home, but it’s not like you’re gonna bring that up. 

Much too tall for the I.M.P. van, he’s crammed in the backseat, and struggles a little before managing to get himself out of the car. 

Before leaving, he leans on the passenger’s window, facing you and Blitzø and nervously trying to get himself to say something. “Thank you, for… inviting me out tonight.” Blitzø turns away to face his other side and you keep your eyes glued to the windshield, both unable to look him in the eye. “Despite everything that’s happened, I… I enjoyed spending time with you.”

“Yeah,” is all Blitzø says, and you simply nod.

“You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia’s with her mother this weekend, so we could…”

“I’m not fucking you tonight, okay? I’m really just… I’m really not in the mood, alright?” He nudges you with his elbow, and you swear you see him wipe down a tear. “If you wanna take this one go ahead.”

“I-”

“We could just… talk. Or… watch a movie? Or maybe… cuddle?”

For the first time since leaving Ozzie’s, you manage to properly look at Stolas. Was he serious? Would he genuinely be okay with that after what just happened? Could he genuinely be okay to be in your presence without sex involved? 

“Stolas, don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting us to fuck you, okay?” 

“Blitz-“

“No. You too. Are you actually falling for the shit he says? Fucking watch a movie and cuddle? You know exactly what he wants from us. He just says what he thinks he has to to get in our pants. I thought you weren’t that stupid.” 

You scoff at his words and get out of his car silently, as you can’t believe he just said that to you.

“What, you’re not coming?” 

Tears are threatening to roll down your face again, and it makes you angry. “Do you ever think about anyone’s feelings other than your own?”

“Fine. Stay with him then. Congrats to the fucking happy couple!” 

With that lovely yell, he takes off. 

“Are you alright, dearest? You can come in if you-“ Stolas reaches for you, but you can’t help but back off, not allowing him to touch you. He lets his hand fall back to his side. 

“Could you just send me back to Ozzie’s? Looks like I don’t have a ride anymore.”

“Are you sure you want to be there? What he did was-“

“I- I’ll talk to him. They won’t poke fun at you because of us again, Your Highness. No need to worry.”

He grimaces at your words, and you’re fully aware why.  You haven’t called him that in a long time. In fact, you realize you did it to be cruel. To hurt him. 

To hurt yourself into remembering your place in relation to him. You almost want him to argue with you. To understand what you meant and tell you he doesn’t look down on you, that he doesn’t feel ashamed. 

And yet he only accepts what you say with a nod.  “Good night, y/n.” 

Maybe Blitzø isn’t wrong.

You nod once instead of saying it back- you don't trust your voice to come out.

He seems to want to say something else but refrains from doing so, only waving his hand to cast the spell you requested him to. In a mere second you materialize back at Ozzie’s, but not in the lounge, thankfully- in the waiting room in front of his office. 

You break down crying the very moment you gain bearing of your surroundings. 

A/N sorry for the shitty lyrics i added to house of asmodeus it was sadly necessary lmaoooo

[airasora]

saw someone say stolitz is handled better in fanon than in canon because "there's not a lot of obvious signs of them falling in love." thoughts?

... what.

Not a... not a lot of signs of them falling in love??? My dude, my girlypop, my enby... ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW 🤣🤣🤣

I could write an essay about how obvious it is that they're both pining for each other, but I'll just make a list instead.

Stolas

Love at first sight

Brings Blitz and his coworkers to The Harvest Moon Festival just because (not to fuck or for safety, but just to be nice to them all)

Instinctively knows when Blitz is in danger ("I have my ways", oh, please, Stolas, you're keeping an eye on him cause you care)

Watches soap dramas while pining for Blitz

Is excited about their first date and goes all out with his looks for it

Wants desperately to actually TALK with Blitz

Asks Blitz about his day

Wants to hang out with Blitz just to hang out

Understands and validates the importance to Loona's shot despite being in actual danger himself

Has TWO songs about being hopelessly in love with Blitz

Goes out of his way to give Blitz a way to go to the human world without him even though he risks Blitz not wanting to see him anymore

Despite Blitz' initial rejection, Stolas doesn't cry until he thinks Blitz thinks low of him (proving that he was understanding if Blitz wanted nothing to do with him anymore

Despite being angry, sad, and drunk, Stolas still helps Blitz hide at the all of Blitz' exes party

Instinctively looks at Blitz for permission to dance with the "Better than Blitz" guy

Blitz

Millie calls Stolas Blitz' boyfriend (confirming she knows Blitz has feelings for Stolas)

Gets flustered when trying to explain his situationship with Stolas (if it was purely professional, why does it make him nervous to talk about?)

Despite only inviting Stolas on a date to spy on Millie and Mox, when Stolas tries to actually talk with him, he turns to face him and tries to talk too

Blitz is clearly very hurt after the Ozzie's incidence

Blitz immediately parties hard and tries to hook up with multiple after Ozzie's (a typical response to someone who is hurting romantically)

Gets flustered from seeing human Stolas (there's a tiny blush)

When Blitz realizes Stolas can actually get hurt, he looks terrified

The entire apology tour is legit just to prove something to Stolas (and himself)

Despite having hurt many people, Blitz clearly cares the most about having hurt Stolas

The way he looks at Stolas when he's confessing his love for him AND during their talk at the party

Gets hella jealous when Stolas kisses someone else

I haven't watched episode 10 yet nor the last two shorts, so I could probably add more to these lists, but even without those, there's plenty of proof of them falling in love.

Whoever said this must not be good at reading in between the lines. No shame, but... they're objectively wrong 😂

[awkwardandeccentric]

So after seeing Ghostfuckers and watching Blitz run to his mom for comfort, I’m bringing back my ‘Stolas Casually Traumadumping’ series.

Moxxie: “I always love commemorating my mother on Mother’s Day. I miss her. She was always so loving and comforting.”

Blitz: “Right? My mom always had my back without fail. If there was one person in this world who loved me, it was her.”

Millie: “I can’t wait to see my mom later tonight! Mother’s Day is always so much fun with her!”

Stolas: *silently sipping coffee*

Millie: “What was your mother like, Stolas?”

Stolas: “I don’t know. I didn’t have one.”

Blitz: 😱 “How could you not have a mother?! Is she dead?”

Stolas: “I don’t know.”

Moxxie: “Did she leave?”

Stolas: “I don’t know.”

Millie: “Wait. Then who comforted you when you were scared or lonely? Who always made you feel loved and wanted?”

Stolas: “Was I supposed to be comforted? Usually my butler told me to cease crying before my father heard and smacked me for bothering him.”

Moxxie, Millie: “……..”

Blitz: “Mox, look up how much it would cost to get a holy bazooka, mkay?”

[warblogs17282]

Look, I like reading Stolago fanfics and all that, but I'd be lying if I said that Stolago shippers don't come out with some of the worst takes I've ever seen in regards to Stolitz, so allow me to weigh in my opinion on this.

Short Answer: Stolago would not work in canon.

Long Answer:

Point 1: The 'is Stolago an incest ship' debate.

We don't know. It's implied that Paimon has given birth to a lot of children and can change animal forms, making it very possible that Stolago is an incest ship, but at the same time, that doesn't automatically mean that Vassago is biologically related to Stolas, so I can't make a judgement on this point until we know more about Vassago's character.

Point 2: But Stolas went with the BTB guy!

Pay close attention to Stolas and Blitz after the BTB guy asks Stolas to dance with him, notice how Stolas was basically silently asking Blitz for permission to dance with the BTB guy, and Blitz also silently gives permission for Stolas to dance with the BTB guy. So it's not like Stolas just went 'oh cool this guy wants me, fuck you Blitz I'm fucking dancing', and that silent act of asking for permission proves my point.

Also, Stolas was very drunk during this section, and we know people who are drunk don't tend to think very clearly, so I really cannot blame Stolas for having that dance with the BTB guy, especially when we factor in the cocktail of everything being emotionally heavy for Stolas, and Stolas generally feeling alone and isolated during most of the party.

Plus, Stolas has no history with the BTB guy at all, so even if it does turn into a one night stand for Stolas, there's not gonna be much emotional connection between them. One of the main reasons Stolas fell for Blitz like he did is because of their shared history, all those years ago at the circus.

What was the point of me mentioning all of this exactly? The point is that Stolas and Vassago also have no shared history with each other to what we know, plus, Stolas quite literally says in s2 e1 "my first ever friend!". Plus, it expresses my dislike of the 'Vassago could be a rebound for Stolas' that I've seen float around a few times.

Point 3: Stolas has moved on/will move on from Blitz.

Ah yes, this Stolas?

The same Stolas that silently asked Blitz for permission to go dance with the BTB guy?

"would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

Notice the phrase of "right now" that's used twice?

Stolas at no point said he never wanted to talk to Blitz again, only that he wasn't comfortable with doing so right now, because the emotions associated with that night are still very heavy and hard to process for Stolas.

This fact is further backed up by the fact that Stolas never blocked Blitz's phone number.

one more, this Stolas? for the car trip home.

Point 4: "Blitz is just an asshole who feels no remorse for the things he's done to others."

I could dive deep into Blitz's character to disprove this point, but I'll let the examples do the talking for me.

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo: ...Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but... you said that because I needed it... And it helped.

Blitzo: Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for... me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just... keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy... you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, aaaand don't expect any more compliments; I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you, sir.

Blitzo: You know my name... Use it.

Moxxie: Thanks, Blitzo.

This Blitz?

This Blitz?

This Blitz?

THIS BLITZ??????

There's plenty of other examples I could put here, but I'll leave it here.

Point 5: "Blitz will just move on eventually."

Do you all seriously think that Blitz saying "your boring as fuck monogamy" wasn't foreshadowing Stolitz happening?

The Blitz that's angry that the BTB guy is 'stealing' Stolas?

The Blitz that admits the only person he actually wanted to sorry to was Stolas?

The Blitz that lets Stolas dance with the BTB guy without causing much of a scene, despite how much it hurt him to do so?

Plus, not to mention all the times in the past where it's been shown that Blitz cares for Stolas, including his wellbeing.

Point 6: "Stolitz has no chemistry"

I'm not even gonna bother covering this point, you clearly haven't been paying any attention to the show at all if you unironically think that Stolitz has no chemistry.

Point 7: "What about a love triangle?"

lost-romantique has already made two great posts on the matter, go check that post out.

Finally, I'd like to briefly talk about how Stolago being canon would undermine the plot of helluva boss by quite a bit.

Stolitz is one of the key relationships in the show, and the show revolves around Blitz, including his relationships, so naturally Stolitz is one of the key things for Blitz's character growth, so ending Stolitz for Stolago permanently would stunt Blitz's character growth quite significantly, undermining the plot of the show as a result.

Not to mention it'd also undermine Stolas' character growth as well, considering one of the main things that Stolas needs to work on is the classism, and rebounding to another prince won't help with Stolas unlearning his biases and such, overall making Stolago a rather bad idea for the plot as well.

Plus, even if Stolago was to become canon, it most likely isn't lasting more than an episode anyways, because this scene in the trailer could imply to us that Stolitz is getting a new beginning.

Another thing is that we know nothing about Vassago at the moment, and the things we can imply about him in regards to his title of prince points more to Vassago being a support figure/friend for Stolas (something Stolas badly needs atm) rather than a rebound for Stolas.

I will repeat, I enjoy Stolago in fanfiction and such, but can you all at least admit it's a bad idea in canon and to stop hating on Blitz so much and accept both Stolas and Blitz for the fact that they're both lovable and flawed characters please?

[roeiswriting]

I want Yuta to be angry, I want this to elevate him.

I want that fire lit inside of him, the two sides of not only how dare you do what you did to Bryan, but how dare you go behind my back and completely blindside me.

I need him to channel that grit, that frustration, that fight that encompasses the energy of what the bcc was meant to be.

Despite the probable belief that Yuta wouldn’t turn his back on Bryan the notion of leaving him out of a plan is another layer to all of this. The idea of “why was I not good enough, not trusted enough, to stand alongside the men who told me I will be great.”

I want him to be outraged, not only to seek vengeance for Bryan but I need him prove that he IS great. I want him to be as dangerous as the men who have taught him for all these years, I want him to show to this audience that Mox, Claudio and Bryan took a chance on him for good reason and he can bleed just as hard for what he loves as we know the rest of them can.

Everyone else in that ring was emotionless, like it was a necessity to get a job done. Yet Yuta was distraught beyond belief, Bryan was in total shock after a possibly foolish moment of bliss upon seeing the people he thought he could rely on, and well emotions can be the most powerful thing.

I need this air of, You seem so nonchalant, you act like you do not care, like this isn’t personal, like you had to do what you did. But the reality is you’ve cared so much for all this time and it is a disservice to yourselves to act like this isn’t world shattering.

I want him to have this frustration stemming from not wanting to be selfish. Wanting to do right by Bryan, being devastated at what unfolded and knowing that he escaped physically unharmed but having, at his core, this nagging feeling of being a kid who’s simply been left behind.

They know Yuta to be great, I want the world to see it too.

[semidea7]

NOW THIS IS WHAT I WANTED

I loved every bit, every detail of this episode.

I never got this hyped up with Millie's character before.

And Blitz's breakdown? So heartbreaking to see, but alongside Fizz's one this scene seemed so real, so accurate, it's so easy to empathize with him. I genuinely love how this show deals with mental health, probably one of the best rappresentations of a panic attack out there.

And Mox's nonsense just QUADRUPLED I lost it.

The adorable little sparkling eyes faces CMON.

Also- the FLASHBACK! THE WAY MILLIE WAS ALREADY INTERESTED IN MOX AT FIRST SIGHT! THE BATTLE SCENES! THE GENUINE ADMIRATION MOLLIE DEVELOPED FOR BLITZ

I genuinely loved the fact we had a bit of break from Stolitz, despite loving the ship. It was very much needed, and witnessing Blitz's destructive way of coping just made sense.

'IT WAS NOT A BREAKUP'

'You need a relationship for one of those and we never had that, and never will'

This...this hit hard. Not just cause of their story, but cause again it's a thing everyone could deal with, again something so real and possibly universal.

Blitz finally realized he cared.

It's like that trope when one of the mc rejects someone and then falls in love after realizing how stupid they had been. Yeah in my mind sounds better but you can get what I mean here.

Also, icing on the cake:

'GET IN LOSER, WE'RE GOING GHOSTFUCKING'

Blitz in his little mean girl era.

*Plus: Millie's gentle tone to Loona. Adorable.

As well as Loonie giving Mox ice cream like she would with Blitz, again adorable.

[fr4nkie0stein]

Hiiii💕 could you do Madeline hatter x affectionate/touch starved fem reader hcs?

Have a good day/night ✨

Yes, I absolutely can! Hope you enjoy 💞

Madeline Hatter x affectionate/touch starved fem reader headcanons

Content warning(s): nothing too serious, just a clingy reader and their quirky girlfriend

Honestly Maddie might not even notice at first. Because of her playful, devil-may-care personality, she's always sort of hanging off people in a display of casual touch, regardless of whether they want her to or not

Not only will she be okay with you being affectionate, she'll absolutely encourage it. She's 100% the type of person to pop up out of nowhere and wrap her arms around you in a massive bear hug without you even noticing until the moment it happens

If you're the type of person who likes playing/messing with people's hair, then by all means go ahead. She has no problem with you combing your fingers through it while she chats about anything and everything (though don't be alarmed if you see a small mouse pop out of it at any point. That's just Earl Grey, he sleeps there occasionally lol)

Upon getting your permission she'll mess with you the same way you do her. Prepare to have your hair, clothes, or accessories fiddled with randomly as she talks a mile a minute, asking you any random question that may pop into her head before rapidly moving onto the next thing

It warms her heart to know you care so much that you show it in a more physical way. As someone who's main love language is touch, all you're doing is reaffirming the amount of care you have for her

You won't ever worry about being too clingy, especially when it comes to her. Everyone knows Maddie tends to be a bit off the walls and all over people, so most will just assume that it's her that's the touch starved one rather than you

In all honesty? She thinks it's really cute how much you love to show your affection and she's willing to drop everything just to do that if it'll make you happy (no, literally. Her voice just popped into my subconsciousness to announce that her books for class are on the ground and her arms are now free and open for a hug if you want it)

"Hi, reader! Maddie here to confirm what Mox just said above. My books are scattered everywhere and people are looking at me like I'm crazy, but I'd be happy to give you that hug now if you'd like!" :D

Oh, Maddie *amused eye roll*

♡ Send in more requests here ♡

[riptides-n-roses]

pet - jon moxley (18+)

⛧ pair: jon moxley x reader

⛧ tags: @93pallom (tagging my irl friend because i promised them i would write one of mox) @cyberdejos2

⛧ warnings: dom! jon, jon with a daddy kink, oral (m! receiving), masturbating, unprotected p in v, cre@mp!e, degrading, spankings, love marks, y/n wearing a collar, petnames (kitten,daddy), aftercare

⛧ i bet $5 he is rough as fuck when it comes to sex but is a total sweetheart during aftercare; i don't watch aew as much but i definitely need to; also he's the reason i have an older men kink - I love writing about c0wg!rl position. It's too hot

⛧ no plot - just literally straight up p0rn (i wanted to try something new)

⛧ word count: 1.4K

“Come here, kitten.” You felt the roughness of Jon’s voice as he motioned you to come to him, as you crawled on all fours to him. His lustful stare made your pussy throb as he pat his leg, making you take your seat on his lap. Jon groped your ass cheeks, feeling himself get hard.

“Daddy had a rough day today. Do you know what that means?”

You gasped as he left a harsh slap on your ass. Jon loved when you fall submissive to his touch. His calloused fingers tracing the lining of your pink panties.

“Y-Yes…” You began to speak, feeling his hand make their way to your throbbing wet clit.

“Yes, what. Use your words, slut.” His words were full of hunger as he slid his fingers up and down on your clit, making you whine for more.

“Yes…D-Daddy.”

“That’s my good little kitten.”

Jon held you tightly as his mouth pressed onto yours, both of your tongues fighting for dominance. His other hand still playing with your clit. You loved when Jon played with you. He made sure you always gotten to cum before he did. He always played nice with you even while he humiliated you with his degrading, leaving marks on your body so everyone knew you were his and only his to play with. No one else could touch you like he could. No one could fuck you the way he does.

You felt your legs shake as his fingers went faster on your clit, your muffled moans while his tongue was swirling with yours was enough to drive you crazy. Jon finally pulled away, a trail of spit leaving his lips, His fingers stop playing with your clit.

“Take them off, kitten” Without hesitation, you removed your pink laced bra, revealing your breasts. You got off his lap, to take off your matching panties, the cold air making your nipples harden and your clit throb. Jon smirked, admiring your naked body.

“Good kitten. Now, give daddy some lovin’ ”

You knew what he meant by that and took off his pants along with his boxers, revealing his throbbing cock. You loved how thick it was, how it always filled you up. You got on your knees and you gently kissed the tip - making Jon patiently waiting for you to make another move.

After a few kisses, you slid a few inches of his cock in your mouth, bopping your head up and down slowly, your eyes never leaving his ocean blues. He laid his head back, eyes rolling up and grabbed some of your hair.

"Fuck, kitten" He growled, pushing your head down his shaft. You gagged feeling his tip touch your throat, his whole length now in your mouth. You gagged from how rough his thrusts were, his tip always hitting your throat. Small tears formed in your eyes as you were still trying to get used to his massive size - your pussy throbbed from his grunts.

"Look at you. Taking every inch of my cock. You're a dirty little slut, aren't you?" He cooed, his other hand roughly cupping your face seeing your ruined face. "Play with yourself, kitten." He ordered - you didn't want to disobey him and he watched as you took your hand to your clit, chuckling as you winced from the sensation.

"Good girl. You're such a good little girl"

His grip tightened on your hair, as you gagged and moaned from his thrusts, your hand rubbing faster on your clit, your fingers touching your pearl. Jon never broke eye contact as he watched you make a mess all over his cock.

"You're gonna cum, baby? You want daddy to make you cum? Hmm?"

His words made you whimper as you were getting close, feeling your stomach tighten - You were trying to nod while sucking him off.

"C'mon, baby. Cum for daddy. Be a good little slut for me" He ordered, his grip on your face getting tighter.

You let out a high pitched moan as you hit your orgasm, he followed with a loud groan, his warm cum going down your throat.

"Swallow every drop."

You made sure to swallow his cum - he gently ripped his cock out of your mouth. You panted as you looked up at him - your face warm from his grip and your tongue being out.

"Good girl. You know what's next don't you?"

"Y-yes daddy..."

Jon smirked and stood up, going to a drawer. He opened it and picked up a pink leather collar with a matching leash. He admired it for a second before walking back to where you were.

"Stand up, baby"

You got up and willingly lifted your head up as he put the collar on your neck and locked it in place, attaching the leash onto it. He cupped your face, admiring how you looked. He burrowed his face in the crook of your neck, sucking on a piece of your skin really hard, leaving a mark. You moaned feeling his teeth bite into your flesh - you loved when he marked you.

"You look so beautiful, kitten. But you know I'm not done with you yet."

You were waiting for his next move as he grabbed the handle of the leash, making you follow him to the bed.

Jon sat down on the edge, pulling you on top of him again, aligning his cock against your clit. You gasped feeling him grind against you - his free hand gripped against your side. You whined feeling his tip slowly push into you - your whines getting louder as he pushed his whole length into you.

"Daddy..." you whimpered, your legs feeling like jello.

"I know kitten." He groaned as he tightened his grip on your side. "You're doing so good baby."

You started to bounce on his cock, your arms around him and your foreheads touching. He loved the sight of you melting from riding him - he loved watching your eyes roll back. God, he loved when you did that.

"Good girl...fuck baby I can never get enough of you." He growled, shoving his face into your chest, kissing and biting on your breast. You moaned feeling his teeth all over your chest - he made sure to leave visible marks all over you, reminding everyone that you were his. His kitten. His pet.

"Mine" He chuckled, releasing his grip and wrapping his arm around you, thrusting roughly into you.

"Oh my God~" you whimpered "Please...keep going...right there!"

"You like that, kitten? Hm? Want daddy to make a mess out of you? Answer me, slut"

You cried, digging your nails into him.

"Answer me."

"Yes daddy! Make a mess out of me...make me your slut."

"Yes baby...you're my slut. No one else can have you. You're all mine."

His thrusts gotten faster, leaving you a moaning mess - your stomach began to tighten. You winced in pain everytime he left a harsh slap across your ass.

"More?" He cooed.

He laid back, letting go of his grip on the leash and wrapped his arms around your body, thrusting disgustingly fast and rough. You screamed into his neck, biting him hard.

"I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum daddy. Please let me. Please" you begged, your stomach getting tighter.

"Cum for daddy, baby. Cum like the slut you are"

His approval made you scream as you came all over his cock, you felt your legs shake as he kept thrusting roughly into you.

"Fuck baby. You're such a good little slut..." he groaned, he was feeling himself get close.

"Oh fuck! Fuck...daddy...you feel so good daddy" you were sobbing from being overstimulated, feeling his tip hitting your spot as you started shaking.

"Fuck you're so cute, baby...I'm gonna cum in your pretty cunt. Are you ready?"

You nodded to his words - bouncing on his cock, fucking him back.

"Fuck...baby. I'm about to cum."

He groaned loud as he burst his seed into you, his cum leaking out of your pussy. You moaned as he held you tightly riding out his orgasm.

You stayed in his arms, holding him close to you.

"Come here baby"

You pressed your lips against his, leaving steamy kisses all over. You loved how gentle he was with you. He always took good care of you after having some rough sex. You felt his cock still throb in you he played with your hair.

"You did so good. Daddy's so proud of you." Jon praised, his hand stroking parts of your body. "Do you want to play some more later?"

"Yes daddy" you giggled. He smiled to your word and kissed you again.

"Let's get you fixed up before that. I'll treat you to some dinner and ice cream. I know you would like that." He offered.

"Of course, daddy! I would love that."

"Good." He chuckled leaving another kiss on your cheek.

"My kitten."

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Wild Thing

Jon Moxley x fem reader

A young Jon Moxley meets Y/n somewhere in CZW in 2009 (inspired by Mox’s book)

Mentions: of blood, drug use, swearing, fighting, kidnapping

Main Masterlist

Tonight was my first match in CZW’s Tournament of Death. I stood pacing back and forth in the locker room mentally preparing myself for the events that would occur when I could hear Eddie Kingston yelling at someone in the hallway. He sounded mad. The other men in the locker room exchanged looks and oos before one of them said “She sure is a feisty one isn’t she” to which the men all began to laugh. ‘Who is this she?’ I thought to myself. Eddie then stormed into the room and slammed the door behind him, preventing whoever was behind him from entering the room. He leaned against the door and I could hear angry knocking from the other side. “What does she want now?” said Danny Havoc. (But I just call him Grant) .“She wants to be in TOD, Jon won’t let her” Eddie explained. I didn’t know who this girl they were referring to was but she seemed pretty badass to me. A female wanting to participate in the tournament of death?! “Of course she does! Let me talk to her” said Grant with his thick Jersey accent. Eddie then opened the door to reveal a tall blonde in a Juicy Couture tracksuit. I was not expecting that. 

The gorgeous blond stormed into the room before running into the arms of Grant. “Tell Jon Zandig that I should be in TOD!” she yelled “Now doll, why do you want to be a part of TOD? You know I love ya but you’re too pretty to be doing this kind of shit,” he told her. 

“I want to prove that I can do the same thing you guys can do. Why is it that there are never any women wrestling in these shows? You know I can wrestle! I train my ass off and what do I get back? Nothing, because no one wants to hire a girl. They only want female wrestlers for swimsuit contests and dog food fights. I’m sick of doing that shit! I want to go out there and taste my own blood. TOD or not I want to show these people that I know how to wrestle!” The room was silent. I felt like an outcast, everyone seemed to know about this situation but me. 

Eddie was the first to break the silence. “Let me talk to Jon again. You know he likes you Y/n. I’m sure if you promise not to do anything stupid he will put you in the opener without TOD stipulations” 

Sure enough, Y/n got her match. I watched the match backstage with Grant, both of us hypnotized by what we were seeing. “Who is she?” I asked him, he almost looked shocked that I didn’t know of Y/n. “That’s Y/n, she’s the most badass bitch I have ever met. They call her the Hardcore Barbie because she looks like a Barbie doll and lives off death match wrestling. She’s really nice if you don’t piss her off. She also has good weed.” he told me 

I was so fascinated with her. I needed to know more about her. “Anything else I should know about her? She seems young?” I asked Grant. “Well, she started wrestling when she was 16 and she just turned 20. I know what you’re thinking, she won’t sleep with you, everyone here has tried. It’s so funny that these freaks think she would get with them. She travels with Kingston and me, so don’t you dare try nothing. I will kill you with my bare hands” 

Grant and I watched the rest of the match. I had never seen such a beautiful match. Y/n did in fact know how to wrestle. The man she stood across the ring from was twice her weight yet she picked him up with such ease. The fans loved seeing a pretty girl like herself beat up a sweaty dude. Y/n had beat the man to a pulp, she pinned him 1..2..3 and it was over. I thought it was funny how Grant watched on as a proud parent, that was his girl. I thought about what he said, how she rode with him and Kingston. Why did Eddie never mention Y/n before?

After the show, Y/n officially introduced herself to me. I felt like I was hypnotized by her beauty. She noticed how nervous I was around her and she used it to her advantage, inviting me to hang out after the show with Grant and Eddie. I had to accept, how could you not? 

Eddie explained to me why he hadn’t introduced me to Y/n before. He told me she was known for using her looks to her advantage. “So like she sleeps with people for matches?” I asked him “That’s gross, she would never do that. She mentally fucks you. If you look her too long in the eye you’ll fall right into her trance. She hypnotizes you and manipulates you. She looks all sweet but trust me she has a bad attitude” “So why do you hang out with her then?” I asked him 

“Because she’s fucken wild. She’s so fun to hang out with and she always has weed. Someone needs to look out for her. There are creeps out there man. For god sake she’s a skinny tall blond who lives in Juicy Couture, what do you think will happen?” he told me. Eddie had a good point. 

That night Y/n and I became good friends. Eddie was right when she said she was wild. Once she had a few drinks in her and some of the good shit she was the life of the party. I didn’t understand why Eddie kept Y/n a secret, sure you could tell that she had a few screws loose but don’t we all? For fucks sake if someone willingly wants to participate in TOD you know there’s some form of mental issues going on.

Just then a man approached Kingston and me. He had a fresh buzz cut, was covered in tattoos, had what seemed like a freshly broken nose and looked like the kind of guy who would have women chained up in his basement. “Where is she?” he spat, in a thick Russian accent. I could tell that he and Kingston knew each other, the tension was thick in the air. “Where is who?” Eddie spat back, his New York accent being more noticeable when he was mad. “You know who, stop playing dumb, bum” he responded. “You’re a real fucking idiot, Sasha, she left hours ago. I have no idea where she went but even if I did there’s no way I would tell you” Kingston spat. The men stood chest to chest, eyeing the other down. I did nothing, even I knew not to get involved in whatever this is. Now I didn’t know who the ‘She’ was that they were referring to but by now I think I had an idea. Then Grant came into the mix yelling “I told you if you ever showed your face here again I would fucking kill you” Just then an all-out brawl began. The two men began beating Sasha to a pulp. That’s when I noticed Y/n had vanished into thin air.

I let Kingston and Grant take care of Sasha and went looking for Y/n. In the distance, I heard the sound of broken glass. I followed the sound and found Y/n smashing the windows of a beat-up junk car with a baseball bat. She was mad, she looked evil. Now I knew why Eddie had warned me. “Hey, hey, hey! What’s going on here? What are you doing Y/n?” She turned to face me and I made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Her once bright green eyes had turned a deep forest colour, the whites of her eyes now red. Her makeup was smudged and her cheeks were stained with fresh tears. I was scared. I felt like she was staring into my soul, being able to read my every thought, know all my secrets. “What do you want, Mox?” she said through gritted teeth. “I just want to know what’s going on here. Why are Grant and Eddie beating the snot out of a guy named Sasha?” Her face dropped at the name, that told me what I needed to know.

Just then I heard someone yelling and honking a horn in the background. I turned to find Grant and Eddie yelling at us to get in the car! Y/n and I jumped in the car and sped off. The car was deathly silent. No one dared to say a word. I looked at Grant’s hands that gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles were bloody and bruised, that’s when I noticed the blood on Eddie. The silence was broken when Y/n began to laugh, Grant and Eddie began laughing as well. “What the fuck happened back there?” I asked with genuine concern in my voice. “That jackass back there Sasha, I broke his nose after he followed me home after the show last week. I don’t even want to think about what his intentions were, "she said. “Not to mention 'someone' stole $500 out of my purse at the show today” “If he ever showed his face around here again I said I would kill him” Grant responded. “I smashed his windows because that’s what he gets for trying to kidnap me and stealing my $500” I was honestly speechless. “ I found a bunch of money in his car so it’s only fair I split the reward with all of you,” Y/n said. I watched her pull the fat wad of hundreds out of her pocket and began counting it. “$500 for Grant, $500 for Eddie, $500 for Mox and $1,500 for me. Thank you, Sasha” “Thank you Sasha the rest of us chimed in” From that moment I knew Y/n and I would be best friends. 

[shelbgrey]

Thunderstruck(Lance Harbor)

Paring: Lance Harbor x Moxon!Reader

Summary: Lance Harbor and y/n have hid their feelings for each other for a long time, but after an act of rage the truth came out. @ashleed

Prompt: 0.7) “he's not my boyfriend” - “I think you better tell him that” - “what?” - “only love makes you that crazy”

MasterList ML2

Tomorrow was the big game which means everyone was running around the town like mindless zombies anticipating the game that the coyotes were guaranteed to win. I didn’t care about football much which might as well be a sin around here, I didn’t mind it but I'm not willing to use a football as butplug like most of the dads and coaches around here. I wished i shared the same enthusiasm as my brother Billy Bob. he fucking loved the game and would give his left nut for it. But even though I didn’t give a damn I was at every game, not only because I was in color guard but so I could cheer Billy Bob and Lance on. Damn, he made football look like the most exciting game in the world.

But all amazing things have their faults. The old men in this town are bastards, all of them. They push the team and don't care if they die or not. Rain or shine they play, sick or hurt they play. It pisses me off. Especially when the dads use their sons as ego boosts. Lance’ dad and Mox’s dad are great examples. I respect them all for standing through all the bullshit, especially Lance.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

Remember when I said every great thing has its faults? Well cook-out in this town is a great example. The team and their families would be eating good food and having fun then Lance’s dad or Mox’s dad ruin it by running their mouths and using Mox and Lance to get back at each other.

“Is this how it's always gonna be when our dads are together?” Lance asked, glancing at Mox. “just one long ass pissing contest?” Mox shrugged, not really wanting anything to escalate if they heard our conversation. I just sat next to Lance and continued eating my ribs.

I didn't hear what brought it up, but Lance's dad and my dad brought up the matching band.

“well, at least your daughter is involved with somethin', but then again the marchin' band is useless without the football team”

I rolled my eyes, not giving two shits what he thought about me or the matching band. I’d like to see him get out on the fiend and do half the crap we do. I was gonna let it go.

“That's not cool dad…” Lance said in a hard tone.

“Im just kiddin’” Lance’s dad rolled his eyes and tossed Lance the football. Lance groaned and stood up before throwing the football as hard as he could. His dad caught it with a grunt from impact. “Nice one, son… Don’t see a band geek doin’ that”

I glanced over at Lance. He was staring hard at his father with his jaw clenched.

“That throw was cute..” Mox’s dad rolled his eyes and took the football and told Mox to stand up.

“Jesuse crist” I mumbled.

“You both knocked it off,” Mox’s mom said to both Lance and Mox’s dad. “It takes so much coordination to do what they do” she said half drunk.

“I'm just sayin’ people could care less about the halftime show and all that… we came to see a game not a broadway musical, then after football season you hear nothin’ of em” Lance’s dad went on.

“You know what else takes coordination?” Mox’s dad asked, he stood up and launched the football towards Mox and put an empty beer can on his head. “Come on dad, this is stupid!”

“Just throw it son”

Mox looked down at me and Lance and gave us both a sympathetic look. “Sorry..” he mumbled and launched the football at the can perfectly. Mox’s dad looked at Lance’s dad and showboated a bit. That only pissed him off more and he ripped the football away. “You think your son’s better than mine?”

“Well lets just say if Kilmer wasn’t such a prick my son would be starting quarterback” Mox’s dad snapped, Lance’s dad gave a mocking look of surprise. “Oh.. is that a factt?”

“I'm sorry about all this, I wouldn't have asked you to come if i knew this would happen” Lance whispered to me. I was about to respond to him, tell him it wasn’t his or Mox’s fault, but his dad beat me to it. “What about you Lance? You think you're better than my boy just because you're your captain?”

“No I don't,” Lance said firmly. Hell, these bastards are lucky their egos haven't ruined Mox and Lance’s friendship.

“Well, why don't you prove it. Show em what it takes to be a coyote. Nail the can” he said sharply and toused the football to lance. Lance was almost red in the face and he gripped the football hard.

“Show him what it takes to be a starting quarterback. Show em that little flag twirler isn't a distraction” his dad barked,

“Come on lance, nail the can” someone shouted. Lance snapped and launched the football, smacking right into his dad’s nose. He groaned in pain and fell to the ground. Lance’s jaw tightened and he glanced over at me.”Let's get out of here” he said in a hard tone and grabbed his letterman jacket then grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my seat.

“See ya later, Mox” Lance mumbled and pulled me towards his truck.

Once we were away from everyone he cupped both of my cheeks, looking me in the eyes. “I'm sorry.. They're all assholes”

“Its okay, Lance… let's just get out of here”

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

“Heard your boyfriend nailed his dad in the nose at the cookout saturday” Wendell said, coming up to my locker. I quickie shut it, making Billy Bob peak from behind his to see what was going on”

“Yeah, Lance nailed him right in his beak” Billy Bob laughed.

“He’s not my boyfriend” I protested, making Billy Bob and Wendell both give me a ‘yeah right look’

“What?!” I asked.

Wendell scoffed sarcastically. “Only love makes you THAT crazy”

“Crazy enough to nail his old man in the face when he put you down,” Billy Bob nodded.

“You both are idiots” I shook my head, grabbing my books for Miss. Davis’ class. “You hit your head too many times on the field.”

“You just don't want to admit I'm right for once!” Wendell called out as I walked away from him.

I shook my head, trying to ignore what Wendell and Billy Bob said. I rounded the corner and ran right into someone, making my books fall to the ground. “Shit, sorry Y/n” Lance said and quickly picked up my stuff.

“Dont worry about it” I looked up and stared into his blue eyes as he handed me my stuff. His gaze made me think about what the boys said, it replied in my mind over and over again. I snapped out of it and cleared my throat. “So.. how's your dad?’

“Don't worry about him,” Lance said, shaking his head. “I'm not grounded if I win the game” he rolled his eyes.

“Ooo. so much pressure” I said sarcastically, making lance laugh.

He nudged my shoulder playfully as we walked down the hallway. “Can't wait to see the halftime show”

“You actually pay attention to those?” I was surprised.

Lance almost looked hurt when I asked that. “Of course, why wouldn't i? You pay attention to all our games”

It always made my heart flutter at the fact he cared so much. With all that pressure and needles put on him he's still smiling and being the kind hearted person he is. Anybody would be dumb to hurt someone as amazing as him.

“Well, i'll see you tonight at the game then” I smiled stopping at Miss. Davis’ classroom. Lance smiled big. “Yep”

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

“Billy Bob, if you're too sick to play, say somethin’ damn it!” I said sternly as we walked down towards the field for the game.

“I told ya a billion times, im fine” He said rolling his eyes.

I bonked him on the butt with my color guard pole, not hard, but hard enough to get his addiction. “Hey!”

“Don't hey me! There’s a damn oxygen tank down there for you, you shouldn’t play”

“I can't let Kilmer or the team down!” Billy Bob Sighed

“Fuck Kilmer! I'll shove this entire flag so far up his ass it comes out his mouth”

Billy Bob stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me. “Just do what you need to do and I'll do what i need to do. Mind your business” he said and put his helmet on before going down to the Field where Tweeder and Wendell were.

“What’s going on?” Lance asked, walking up to me after he saw Billy Bob storm off.

“My dumb ass brother, thats whats going on”

Lance gave me a side hug. “I’ll keep an eye on em” he moved his arm off my shoulder and ran towards the field, he turned around walking backwards. “I'll get a touchdown for ya, hell I'll win the whole game for you!” he called out.

I shook my head playfully, I was glad he was far enough because I was turning bright red. “Good luck!” I called out.

“You too!”

--------(the Game)--------

The team was doing good, only a point or two behind, but they would easily catch up. I was sitting on the bleachers with the rest of the marching band watching the game. The whistle blew and Lance ran down to the number lines. I really don't know which one, I just know there's a bunch of hot guys throwing a football around. Anyway, lance turned sound and waved at me before getting in potion.

My smile disappeared when I saw Billy Bob Hobell onto the field. He looked awful. Lance called out the play and the whistle was blown, just like that Billy Bob collapsed and Lance was tackled. Lance screamed in pain. The way he cried out made my heart shatter into a million pieces. I didn’t care what was going on or the fact I needed to stay in the bleacher, I left and ran towards the stretcher lance was on.

“We're taking him to the hospital,” the paramedic told me. His sister Juiles came up to me just as worried.

“Come on, you can ride with me to the hospital”

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

I sat next to Lace the whole time after his surgery that night. Mox had took Juiles home and his bastard of a dad was too upset about Lance’s football career to come into the room. I held his hand, praying he would be okay. The doctor said he needed more surgeries after this one and his recovery time would be hell. It scared me to think about him being in so much pain, I was about to doze off but Lance winched and shifted as he slowly woke up. He squeezed my hand weakly and turned his head towards me. “You're here?” he asked softly.

“Of course” I smiled softly, brushing some hair out of his face.

He winced, looking away. “I’m sorry…the game-”

“You're seriously bringing that up?” I interrupted him softly. That made me truly realize how much pressure his father and Kilmer really put on him. They wormed their way so far into his brain all he cared about was disappointing them.

“All I care about is your recovery and you being able to walk properly” I said. Lance smiled weekly and gave my hand a gentle squeeze before bringing it up to his lips, kissing it softly. “Thank you. I don’t know what i’d do without you”

I smiled softly, staring into his eyes. He smirked. “This maybe the drugs talkin’ but…” he stopped mid sentence and pushed the button that raised his hospital bed. “What are you-”

“Shut up” he said innocently and raised the bed up far enough where we were eye level. He placed his hand on my cheek, pressing his lips to mine gently. My heart pounded, wondering if this was a dream. I placed my hand on his chest where his heart was and kissed him back softly. He pulled away gently, pressing his forehead against mine.

“You don't know how long i've waited to do that” Lance smirked, running his fingers through my hair. “Me too” I whispered, placing a quick soft kiss on his lips.

“If you hurt yourself like this again, I'll kill you” I joked.

“That’s fair,” he laughed, leaning forward and kissing me on the forehead.

Nothing else mattered now. The only thing that mattered was his recovery and making sure he knows he’s loved and a stupid football game wasn’t that important.

[sleepingdeath-light]

yandere hcs + overworked s/o ; poly millie & moxxie

requested by ; arcade anon (16/07/23)

fandom(s) ; helluva boss

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; millie & moxxie

outline ; “YANDERE ASKS ROUND THREE!‼️‼️

Can I ask for Yandere Millie and Moxxie team up/poly with a Stubborn, Overworked reader? Like, the job has been really ragging on em lately, and it shows, but they REFUSE to let up/take a break because "None of these fuckin nimwits know how to do the job right!" ?

-Arcade Anon”

note ; this was actually quite good fun to write as i’ve never gotten the chance to write for these two love birds before — but in that same vein, i hope this isn’t too ooc and is an enjoyable read ^^

warning(s) ; yandere!millie, yandere!moxxie, possessive and protective behaviour, referenced forcible restrainment, references to canon-typical levels of violence

despite their hectic work schedule at i.m.p, millie and moxxie are both quick to pick up on how much you’ve been run ragged by your job — but, being more than familiar with how stubborn you can be, the two resolve to give you some time to sort things out by yourself

though not without making it clear that they’re more than happy to step in on your behalf and will do so if things get bad enough — whether you want them to or not

you can dig your heels in and argue with them as much as you want, but you’re never going to convince them to drop the issue of your work schedule — nor are you ever going to be able to convince them to not use their… professional skills to take care of issues on your behalf

(they’ve killed people for just looking at you in a way that could be interpreted as disrespectful to you and your relationship… so needless to say, they’re a very protective duo)

between themselves, usually whilst dealing with marks for work, they toss around several ideas about how to make you take care of yourself — moxxie is initially much more focused on taking the pacifist of route and just arranging a meeting with your job or sitting you down and explaining their concerns as best they can, whilst millie is plotting all sorts of violent acts that span from torturing your boss into lessening your work load (if not outright killing some of your colleagues to send a message) to tying you up and forcing you to stay at home so you can finally take a fucking break

eventually, with some shockingly sound advice from blitzø (there’s a first time for everything), they settle on something in between the two extremes

(love is all about compromise, after all! just not with you this time)

one day you get home from work and your partners are sat in the living room with matching sober expressions on their face — millie is the one to greet you first, as usual, with a cuddle and a kiss as she asks you about your day, guiding you to sit on the settee whilst moxxie quickly goes and retrieves all of the materials he’d been preparing throughout the day (blitzø had rather generously given him the day off to do so — and as thankful as he is, he still dreads what he’ll be asked to do to make up for it)

they sit you down and talk through their concerns with graphs tracking your work hours and sleep schedule that mox had spent weeks making: millie’s alternating between reassurances that they both understand where you’re coming from, backing up moxxie’s statements with her typical wrath-ring charm, and lovingly telling you to shut up and listen whilst being as physically affectionate as ever, whilst moxxie is walking you through the data and (still polite as always) explaining just how necessary it is for you to take some time off

they refute every argument you have and force you (literally, millie is startlingly strong for her size and refuses to take her hands off of you until she’s sure you’re not going to bolt off) to stay and listen to reason

and they make it as clear as day that they’re not above keeping you at home by force if that’s what it takes to get you to prioritise your well-being

and, once they’ve finished with you and are absolutely certain that you intend to listen to their advice, they go and seek out your boss under the cover of night in order to sort out the problem at the source

if millie had her way they’d have just killed your boss outright and used their death as a clear-cut example about what happens to anyone who fucks with their partner

but, thankfully, she listened to moxxie’s pleas and they instead started out diplomatically (except for the whole breaking into their home and tying them up so they can’t escape thing): clearly stating their concerns, stating alternative solutions (like offering more thorough training so you don’t feel like the only competent person in a workplace full of ‘fuckin nimwits’), and making it clear that they will come back and finish the job if they don’t sort their shit out going forwards

(millie still gets her fill of violence by taking out a few armed bodyguards and wounding your boss badly — but not fatally — when they try to weasel out of giving you some time off like they demanded, so don’t worry about that)

… needless to say, you didn’t get overworked at all after that and were instead free to spend even more time showering your (at times concerningly) adoring partners with love and being smothered by their affection in return

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Out of His Depth

Summer of Bad Batch 2024 | Week 8 | Prompt: Swimming Lessons

Summary: Omega asks for advice in giving swimming lessons. Crosshair begrudgingly discovers a new talent. POV: Crosshair Rating: G (Word Count: 2847)

Read on Ao3

Notes: I can't help but think of Crosshair being the grumpy-uncle type who's adored by everyone on Pabu, especially the younger crowd (and he loves the kids too, but will never openly admit it, and will never understand why they like him so much). And I've been thinking a lot about what his early interactions might have been like with Jax, Eva, Sami, and Bayrn. And then the "swimming lesson" prompt popped up. Behold the result.

Also, I'm a huge Tech Lives believer, but this story takes place a month or two after the finale events on Tantiss, so in my headcanon Tech hasn't made it back to his family quite yet.

Omega walked wearily up to the group and plopped down on the warm sand with a sigh.

Crosshair eyed her questioningly. “What’s with you?”

“I don’t know what to do,” she mumbled as she rested her chin in her hand, staring out over the tranquil Pabu waters.

“About what?” Hunter asked, leaning toward Omega as Wrecker and Phee turned their attention to the conversation.

 “Helping Sami so she’s not afraid of the water,” Omega replied, nodding toward the tiny Pantoran who was currently sitting squarely in the middle of the nearby dock, waving to the boats passing by.

Phee had just returned to Pabu, and since it was Phee’s first time seeing Omega since the Batch’s return from Tantiss, it was decided that a beach day was in order. With Shep, Lyana, Mox, Deke, Stak, Jax, Eva, Sami, and Bayrn also joining the party, it had been a full and eventful day. Phee had been in her element for several hours regaling the younger crowd with tales of her exploits; given that Omega had excitedly requested several specific stories, it was clear the others had already heard about many of Phee’s adventures. Crosshair, meanwhile, had listened skeptically and wondered how often Tech had tried fact-checking these stories.

It wasn’t quite as painful to think of Tech now, not since Crosshair had finally convinced himself to visit the impromptu memorial Omega had set up for their brother in the Archeum. Still, Crosshair had found himself wishing more than once that Tech could have been here with them during this beach day – if only so Crosshair could have teased him relentlessly about his pirate girlfriend.

It had been later in the afternoon that Bayrn had been taken in for a nap, Shep and Lyana had taken Jax, Eva, and the former cadets out on the boat, and Sami had approached Omega to ask for swimming lessons. “Jax and Eva know how to swim,” Sami had said. “I’d like to try it.” And Omega had happily agreed, taking Sami to the relatively shallow natural pool at the far end of this stretch of beach, while the brothers filled Phee in more on what had happened since Tantiss and the slow progress being made toward finding the children’s families.

Given what Omega was now reporting, Crosshair would hazard a guess that Sami’s family had never made her enter a large body of water.

“Did she not know swimming involves getting in the water?” Crosshair asked Omega now.

Omega furrowed her brows in thought. “Oh, she knew, but I don’t think she really thought about putting her head in the water.” A pause, then “Or any part of her body above her knees. She doesn’t mind getting wet – I tried dumping some water over her head and she was fine with it - she’s just afraid of getting into a pool of water.”

“Just push her in,” Crosshair shrugged offhandedly. Realizing from the looks he was now receiving that the others thought he had been serious, he contrarily decided to defend his statement rather than explain he had been joking. “What? That’s what the trainers on Kamino did to me. And we were about the same age she is.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Phee remarked drily as she gazed appraisingly at him.

“A lot about what??”

“About you.”

Oh, yes, Tech and Phee had to have gotten along great together, Crosshair groused internally, before Hunter spoke up again. “That’s how the trainers made you learn how to swim, Crosshair, and you are an excellent swimmer; but I don’t think it will help with our objective of making Sami less afraid of the water.” Turning back to Omega, who was still staring with no small amount of exasperation at Crosshair, Hunter continued, “What else have you tried?”

Still halfway tuned in to the conversation, Crosshair thought back to those earliest days on Kamino, when cadets began their swimming training when they were, developmentally speaking, seven or eight years old. There had been no time, sympathy, nor resources for individual attention, however; cadets were taught to swim in groups of twenty, and had to find a way to keep up or be dismissed from training. During their first class, Crosshair had only slightly hesitated when tasked with jumping into the training pool, and one breath later had found himself unexpectedly submerged in the water, gasping for air and frantically trying to stay afloat, having been shoved into the pool by the trainer who had shouted at him that he could either sink or swim.

Well, Crosshair had quickly learned how to swim, but had also discovered that he hated being in or near the water, despite having been surrounded by the ocean since birth, and approached swimming lessons with significant dread that was overpowered only by his stubborn determination to not be decommissioned. This loathing of large bodies of water had lasted for almost two months, until one night when he had been awoken by Hunter, who had told him in a whisper that the squad was “sneaking out.” They had never been so daring before, and Crosshair, excited by the prospect, had raised no objection – until he had discovered they were sneaking out to the training pools, the last place he ever wanted to be. Still, he had stayed quiet, and had been relieved when “sneaking out” didn’t involve actually swimming. Instead, he and Hunter and Wrecker and Tech had spent an hour just sitting at the side of the pool, kicking their feet quietly in the cool water, listening to Tech ramble on about the aquatic life on Kamino until Wrecker’s snores drowned out Tech’s lecture and Hunter suggested they all return to the barracks. These sporadic outings had continued for months –always spending time near water, always by the training pools until Tech figured out a route to a rarely-used landing platform built low near the water where they could sit and enjoy the salty air and crashing waves in closer proximity – until they had a close call with being discovered and had subsequently deferred sneaking out of the barracks for almost a year. Still, after just a few relaxed trips to the pools with his brothers, Crosshair had abruptly realized he no longer hated the water – actually, he rather enjoyed it, and swimming had gradually become an activity he looked forward to rather than feared.

He hadn’t thought about those times by the pools for years, and it was only now, sitting here on the Pabu beach listening to Omega’s troubles with Sami’s swimming lessons, that he suddenly suspected Hunter and his brothers had had ulterior motives for choosing the pools as their first destination for their rebellious outings.

And he had an idea.

“Have you tried holding Sami? You know, picking her up and, well, walking into the water with her?” Crosshair interjected into the ongoing brainstorming session.

Omega shook her head slowly. “I thought about that, but Sami didn’t want to try because she thinks she’s too big for me to hold her…”

“I can do it,” Wrecker promptly volunteered. “If she’s up for it, that is.”

Omega still hesitated. “The pool’s not very deep…”

Wrecker thought for a moment before nodding. “I can just sit in the water. We’ll figure it out.”

Omega suddenly broke out into a smile and rose to her feet before grabbing Wrecker’s hand. “Okay then, let’s go talk to Sami about it.” She took a few steps before looking back at the others. “You all coming?”

Hunter shrugged. “Why not,” he said, rising from his chair and whistling for Batcher to join them.

Crosshair, standing and preparing to follow, felt Phee’s eyes on him and turned to look at her. “What now?” he asked impatiently.

Phee chuckled a little as she shook her head. “Like I said, that explains a lot,” she said cryptically, before passing Crosshair to join Omega and Wrecker as they approached the docks where Sami still sat. 

******

Crosshair stepped onto the dock, waving only slightly awkwardly at Jun’s profuse thanks for his assistance in loading the boat, and made his way back toward the residential areas of Lower Pabu. 

He was fully aware of Sami standing a few feet away from the dock, holding Bayrn in her arms, but he had no idea the Pantoran was waiting for him until he had almost passed her and she suddenly spoke in a low voice that was nearly inaudible. 

“Mister Crosshair, sir?” 

He paused in bewilderment before turning to face her, and realized he must be scowling based on the apprehensive look on the young girl's face. Making an effort to relax his features - no need to intimidate her, after all - he elected to delay correcting her form of addressing him and instead cut straight to the point. 

“What do you want?”

She shrank back ever so slightly - hmmm, maybe his voice had come out a little sharper than he intended - but proceeded to make her request. 

“Would you hold Bayrn while Omega gives me a swimming lesson?”

Crosshair was far too nonplussed now to consider his expression or his tone.

“What?”

Sami gulped. “Uh, well, Omega's going to give me another swimming lesson now. Bayrn’s too little to swim, but I thought maybe he could get used to the water. It took me so long to stop being afraid, maybe it will be easier for Bayrn if he can be in the water now.”

The girl's full meaning finally dawned on Crosshair, and he looked at her aghast. 

“You… you want me to get into the water. And hold that kid. In the water?”

“Uh-huh,” Sami nodded, adjusting her hold on the baby. “It helped me a lot when Mister Wrecker held on to me. I would ask him, but him and Mister Hunter are out fishing and Mister Shep is busy and Mister Thom and Missus Hanti are getting dinner ready for us and…”

Peripherally noting that if Sami was persisting in calling even Wrecker “Mister,” he, Crosshair, would have to get used to being called by the same title, Crosshair cut her off. “I get the point. There's no one else. I'm glad you know I am a last resort. But I don't think I should be holding a kid.” And he frowned as he raised his arms in front of him, staring at his right stump. 

He hadn't gotten a prosthesis yet. He didn't even know if he wanted one. Echo had gone for years without one and had pulled off so many incredible feats Crosshair had often forgotten Echo was missing a hand. He doubted he'd ever reach Echo's level of skill, but he had been able to find new ways to accomplish more each day with just the one hand, and was growing rather accustomed to it. Still, holding a baby…

“Oh, you can hold Bayrn with one arm. It's easy. My dad does it all the time. He got his arm hurt bad in an accident so he had to hold my little brother like this, see?” And Sami shifted Bayrn to demonstrate. 

“You have a brother?” Crosshair asked as he observed Sami’s technique.

She had finally lost her apprehensive look, and now she actually smiled a little. “Yeah. I can't wait to see him again. I hope I can help him learn to swim too.” 

Sighing, Crosshair decided it was time to stop delaying the inevitable. He could come up with at least two dozen more reasons why he shouldn't accede to this request, but he knew that, no matter how much he may protest, he'd be in the pool holding the baby within the next few minutes. Might as well get this over with. 

“Fine. Let's go. No, wait,” he said as Sami started trotting off, “give me the kid now. I need to practice.” Before the kid becomes slippery as well as squirmy, he thought resignedly to himself. 

He may have reservations about holding the baby, but Bayrn’s own sense of self-preservation was obviously seriously impaired, for the baby cooed and smiled as he was passed over to the nervously scowling clone. If Crosshair wondered if maybe he was holding the baby too tightly for fear of dropping him, the baby didn't seem to mind, happily clapping before turning his attention toward examining his new holder. 

By the time they found Omega, Bayrn had thankfully released his death grip on Crosshair's ear and stopped his high-pitched excited squealing, and had settled into happily patting Crosshair's face. Omega, turning at Sami’s greeting, waved at them and impressively showed no sign of surprise or alarm at her sniper brother holding a baby. Instead, she called out cheerfully, “Crosshair! What are you doing here?”

He shrugged awkwardly, reactively adjusting his hold on Bayrn when the kid tipped forward while reaching out toward Omega. 

“Swimming lessons,” he said. 

“Oh?”

“I don't want Bayrn to be scared of the water, like I was,” Sami explained. “Mister Crosshair said he'd help.”

“Oh!” Omega nodded solemnly at Sami, but grinned so brightly at Crosshair he started to feel even more embarrassed than he already was. Letting out a slightly grumpy hmph, he stepped ahead of the girls into the pool, quickly finding an area of suitable depth where he could sit just about chest deep in the pleasantly cool water, and squinting as Bayrn squealed in delight and began splashing his little arms in the water. 

This was his punishment for ever poking fun at Hunter’s skills with children. At least Hunter wasn't around to witness Crosshair's humiliation in person, though Crosshair had no doubt Hunter and Wrecker and everyone else on this overly-friendly island would know about this event by sundown. 

“I don't think the kid is scared at all of the water,” he said to Sami while frowning at Bayrn's antics.

“Oh good! Yay Bayrn!” Sami smiled, clinging to Omega's hand as she cautiously stepped into the water herself. 

This was not exactly the response Crosshair had been angling for.

“You picked a great place to sit, Crosshair,” Omega said, pre-empting Crosshair's plea to somehow get out of this. “You can watch and tell me if I'm teaching Sami alright.”

“Oh goodie,” he deadpanned, though he smiled a little when Sami took a deep, nervous breath before plunging her head into the water and emerging looking rather pleased with herself. 

“Good, Sami. You're getting much better,” Omega smiled. “I think it’s time to show you how to not hold your breath all the time.”

“But I can’t breathe underwater,” Sami said.

“That’s right,” Omega said patiently. “You breathe in the air when your head is above water, and then breathe out when your head is in the water.”  

“Try blowing bubbles,” Crosshair blurted before thinking. At Sami’s questioning stare, he added in a tone completely devoid of enthusiasm, “It's fun.” 

For some reason, Sami took him at his word, nodding at him and watching Omega demonstrate before gamely trying it herself, giggling when she straightened. “That is fun,” she declared before, unprompted, repeating the task. 

“NOT you,” Crosshair warned Bayrn, who, having watched the display with interest, abruptly tried ducking his head toward the water to mimic the girls. Bayrn, obviously a bit put out, huffed for a few moments before suddenly smiling and resuming his splashing. 

By the time Thom and Hanti arrived to take Sami and Bayrn back home for dinner, Omega had started Sami on basic flutter kicks, with Crosshair – finding himself significantly interested in the proceedings in spite of himself – offering a few suggestions for improvement. His left arm felt like it was about to fall off from holding Bayrn for so long, even as he had daringly switched the baby to his right arm and discovered to his own pleasant surprise that this was quite manageable; and, to his own dismay, had found himself pondering how to best position Bayrn to help the kid get used to floating, so the arrival of the volunteer guardians couldn't have come at a better time. Still, he couldn’t hold back a sigh as he handed Bayrn over to Thom – yep, within an hour EVERYONE would know he had held a baby.

Omega playfully shouldered him as they trailed behind the children and their guardians on the way back to Upper Pabu, and Crosshair braced himself for what he knew she was going to say, even as he realized he had been rather hoping she would say it.

“You know, Crosshair, you'd make a really good swimming teacher.”

“Ha.”

“Provided you don't push any kids into the water.”

“Don't tempt me.”

“No, I mean it! You should start giving lessons.”

“Never gonna happen.”

******

Surprising to no one except, perhaps, Crosshair, it happened.

A few days later, Crosshair found himself confronted by Jax.

“Do you know how to dive?” the young Mirialan asked.

“Yes,” Crosshair answered shortly.

“Can you teach me?”

“No.”

Within a week, Crosshair had given Jax his first two diving lessons.

Within a year, Crosshair had become the go-to instructor on Pabu for swimming lessons.

The end. 

@summer-of-bad-batch