#How am I gonna go teach my own class now I don't think I can stand up
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Ah, Young Love! [Our Life: Now & Forever]
Fandom: Our Life: Now & Forever
Characters: Qiu Lin, Tamarack Baumann
Notes: takes place during Step 1, so he/him is used for Qiu as that is how he identifies at this point in the story!
So anyway I'm obsessed with how everybody wants Qiu but Qiu only has eyes for MC once they meet so I'm thinking about his silly little boyhood crush. And then I couldn't leave best girl Tamarack out of the love fest so here's just a few little things I was thinking about with them having childhood crushes on u <3
Note that only the demo is publicly available and I am not currently a patron so anything here that is proven true is coincidence and anything proven false is just me having a little fun
Qiu Lin
So like. I've seen Qiu call you pretty twice in the demo. Once when you meet him if you choose to call him pretty first, and again towards the end of what's available in the demo when he's listing off reasons why you should be allowed to join the club..
I just think that whenever he talks about you he always has to let it slip that he thinks you're cute. "They had on a really nice hair clip today!" "Their hair looked so cute when they took off their hat at school." "When I picked them up to walk to school, I was so surprised at how pretty they looked!"
When he told his parents about you he probably said "this really pretty kid surprised me in our yard and we went on a miniature adventure!"
Also (and note that my MC uses she/her so im gonna quote him using gendered terms but only for this one instance) When he's introducing you to one of his friends, he starts off with your name and says "she's a girl!" (Or whatever terms you have set)
So I just think he says the most basic facts about you with so much awe and wonder 🥺 like you wore overalls to school? He talks like you invented denim. You had a funny comment or joke? It's like he's never heard one before in his life when he retells it.
I feel like…the first thing that makes him interested in you is that you're new. Not only does this make you fun to mess with, but it makes you far more interesting than the people he's known his whole life. Plus you, unlike Tamarack, don't immediately brush off the cool things he wants to show you or do with you if it isn't immediately your cup of tea.
Darren and Baxter are sick and tired of hearing your name !! If you're not around Qiu wonders aloud at least once if he should or should've invite(d) you. If he did invite you and you had to decline, then he wonders what you're doing.
The type of kid to skip out on his weekend chores at home and go to your house to help you unpack instead
Ok so MC says they used to live in an apartment, right? Probably in the city? And MC was only allowed to play on their own because Golden Grove is "a safe neighborhood?" What if MC doesn't know how to ride a bike. What if Qiu teaches them…
Whether you get a hang of it or not, he daydreams about doing that thing where he rides the bike and you sit backwards on the seat or on the handlebars or something
When he finds out you can't ride a bike, he definitely shows off by riding around without his hands on the handlebars.
Will teach you how to jump off the swing set too, then will have competitions over who can swing the highest and leap the farthest
I feel like Golden Grove has a cute little main street with a bunch of locally owned shops. If you're interested, he'll show you every. single. business. Even if most of them are "granny shops" he isn't interested in. He'll let you poke around for a bit :)
He has a special page in his notebook for all the little notes and doodles about you
If you look closely at the note he gives you after class, you can see the remnants of a few tiny little hearts that he erased!!
Going back to him offering you to ride on his bike: he probably got you in trouble once because you were on your front lawn and he rode up asking you to go on an adventure with him on his bike. You're expecting a fun little 20 min ride through the walkable path in the woods that'll have you back home by dinner. Instead he takes you to town and buys you ice cream and the two of you have to struggle your way back up the hill on foot and it takes like an hour and a half to get back and your mom was worried SICK
Buys a pack of pens with one/some of your favorite color(s) and writes you notes exclusively in that/those ink(s)
If you and your mom go somewhere and he knocks on your door while you're out, you will come home to see him sitting on the steps to your front porch and waiting for you
Before class starts, he always gives you a funny face or a wave. If you come in late because of a doctor's appointment or something, naturally a lot of the kids turn to look at your entrance, and he immediately waves at you. Maybe even says hi to you out loud if he knows Mrs. Murray is in a good mood / he can get away with it.
If he finishes his work early or something, he'll turn around in his seat and just watch you from across the room with major heart eyes. He smiles wider and waves when you notice.
Anything you compliment him on, he immediately draws attention to around others. Say his hair looks good today? He'll hit you with a "oh but not every other day?" but then tell his seatmates about what you said.
Buys extra portions of his little snack bags of chips and candy or whatever he likes when he can so that he can give them to you during lunch.
Gets on a kick and will pester you about having a secret handshake until you let him come up with one. He likes having special things just you and him 🥺
Probably invites you to his hideout at a specific time and day every week and he gets soooooo excited for that time to roll around.
Tries extra hard in your favorite subject, even if it's one he hates. He's not trying to be top of the class, but he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about something you care about!
If you like a class he's terrible at, he'll ask for your help! Or, if you struggle in a class he's good at, he'll volunteer to help you out even though he HATES the concept of doing extra schoolwork. That's how much he likes u
He'll do this with any windows but especially if one of your bedroom windows faces his: he will definitely pull a Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me" and write notes for you guys to read to each other
Since he can't sit with you, he'll write you notes or make you doodles and then pretend he has to get up to sharpen his pencil so he can pass your desk and slip it to you
Tamarack Baumann
Tamarack will straight up just stare at you 👁👁
She follows you around like a lost puppy and visibly brightens up when you're around
Looks forward to school because she gets to sit next to you all day! Like she'll skip happily along the path with you and Qiu and you'll ask her if she's looking forward to all these things and she'll just go "No!" and when you finally give up and ask why she says "because I get to spend the whole day next to you!"
When she goes to play in the woods, sometimes she'll spend a while in the shallower end of the tree line waiting to see if you'll come outside and play with her
Has definitely thrown sticks and pebbles at your back door to lure you out before she gets bored
Likes to go around and pick up the coolest rock, the prettiest flower, the biggest piece of tree bark, a leaf the size of her head…then before she goes home for the night, she stops by your house and gives what she picked up to you!!
If you're not home then she leaves it on your porch with a note, usually held down by a rock if it's not something heavy
She'll be over the moon if you give her cool rocks and stuff you found. Even if you're literally giving her trash, like if you ONLY give her bottle caps or pop tabs you find on the sidewalk, she cherishes them. Would make jewelry out of them tbh
Ok so quick tangent but there's a book I read in about 4th grade called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, and in it the love interest girl is the quirky type. One thing she has is a little decorative cart on her dresser which she puts rocks in every time she's happy and takes rocks out when she's sad. When the protag goes to her house and finds out, she explains how she has put the most rocks in it since meeting him. They kiss sometime after that and she puts another rock in and tells him about it. I think Tamarack would have a jar or a doll house bathtub and she would do the same thing, putting rocks in it when she's happy! So what I'm saying is give her plenty of rocks so she can exclusively use MC rocks for that
Also will make matching jewelry for the two of you without even stopping to think if you even wear what she's making. She'll buy kits to make special rings and headbands, braid a million friendship bracelets out of multicolored string, use acorns she found to make earrings…anything! She is just as happy if you wear it then she is if you buy a jewelry display stand and show them off in your room. Eventually she adds keychains into the mix for some variety
Doesn't mean to spend a lot of her time waiting on you but she does. On weekends, instead of going directly into the woods, she'll just lie on her back in her yard and stare up at the clouds, completely still, daydreaming (about you) until she hears your door opening. Then she runs to you.
If any of your windows are open, particularly your bedroom window, she'll send a bunch of paper airplanes your way. Most of them make it! However, you've learned that if you find even one paper airplane inside, you're going to have to check that side of the house for more scattered on the ground
Grips onto your arms or your clothes whenever she can. You two are connected.
Makes a BIG effort to like anything that you like as much as you do! And when she follows you around, it doesn't really matter if you're doing something she doesn't care about. She just wants to spend time with you! It does make her whole week if you follow her into the woods, though.
She doesn't take notes in class, but you leave a writing implement out for her and sometimes she'll reach over and doodle a cute bear or something on your paper :)
If you say you're cold, she'll give you her scarf, no questions asked. Is also down to share but don't let her do that while you're walking because it WILL end badly
Has wrapped the scarf around the two of you and tied you guys together before and yes it was the best recess of her life
When walking, she tends to lean into you which sometimes almost turns into pushing you and Qiu into the road if you're not careful
Likes to drag you around places and pretty quickly invites you to her house. She doesn't tell her grandparents that she's inviting you over, so they're surprised by you almost every time, but they don't mind! She's dragging you up the stairs to her room too quickly for them to say anything anyway
#our life now and forever#our life now & forever#our life#qiu lin x reader#tamarack baumann x reader#qiu lin#tamarack baumann#☆ qiu lin#☆ our life#☆ olnf#☆ tamarack baumann#🐚 capricorn ゚+..。*゚+{hcs}#🌠 pisces ゚+..。*゚+{all writing}
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Manifesting An Ex Back (Success Story + Advice! Long Post!)
Recently, I have been trying to apply the law and really distance myself from social media and loa accounts. For me personally, it is a lot of information at once and can be quite overwhelming, although I still enjoy reposting content I find to be helpful to my fellow manifestors. It has done wonders for me to allow myself to watch the law work, and today, I would like to share with you some things that helped me achieve one of my latest achievements, manifesting my ex back after 1 year of no contact. I hope this can help others to continue to be motivated. If you are interested, please read onward!
So, let's start by laying out the guidelines of how I view manifesting:
1. time does not matter. It has no control over if you can manifest anything, and in my head, it does not exist. I simply am unaffected by it, I know that I will have what I want regardless.
2. You are manifesting self. You are not going to get something, this is not a grocery shopping trip to purchase something. You got all the ingredients that you need at home, right in your beautiful mind. Do you have self? Then you have everything you need. Now, take it a step further, are you the "self" that has your ex partner back in your life, or the "self" that doesn't?
3. Everything is you pushed out / There is NO separation. Everything you believe is pushed out into your reality. Do you believe your ex hates you? Then they hate you. Booyah! Do you believe your ex loves you? Then they love you. There is no separation between you and them, there is no separation between you and any of your desires. All you must do is match your thoughts to that desire, and you will have what you want.
4. Persistence is Key. I remember when I first started my journey here, and I hated hearing this. It was like nails on a chalkboard. How long do I have to persist? Why? For what? This is why I will continue to stress that time does not exist, if you hyperfocus on the time passing on this planet, you will never get it. Because your focus is on time, not on your desire. Know that it is done, and it will be.
5. How it happens is none of your business. Read that again. You should not be focused on how am I gonna get to, what am I gonna do, how's it gonna happen. Who cares, quite frankly. Do you want your desire or not? Then want the desire, stop wanting for the in-between, it will happen in means you cannot even imagine. I promise you. It will be so out of the blue you won't even see it coming (more on that later).
6. Dominant thoughts manifest / robotic affirming. I used to believe this was bull, I'll be real. I won't sit here and act like I've always been a robotic affirming girly. However, it's sort of like vaunting but it's just one phrase. Changing your mindset can change your life. It starts by changing your dominant thoughts about your desire, or even about manifesting itself. The easiest way for me has been any time I get a negative thought, I turn on a 20 minute timer and I think or say my desire. It's like disciple. Whenever your teacher saw you disrupting class and they had you continuously write the same thing on the board, that was affirming. We were just too young to realize. Of course it sucks, but it taught us that we didn't want to end up in that position again. I robotically affirm because I don't wanna end up in a reality where I don't have what I want, it teaches me to keep my thoughts on my desire. It also dulls out the negative thoughts from rising, such as the continuous writing on the board dulls the child's want to continue the bad behavior.
My ex and I had officially stopped talking in Auguest of 2023. It was abrupt and feuled by arguments. We were both fed up with our own lives and we could no longer take care of each other. We ended on bad terms and I was in full belief he would never speak to me again and I wouldn't speak to him. I believed he hated me for a good while. But, in manifesting we have have to understand that nothing, and I mean NOTHING is set in stone. All we have is present and even that is ever changing. A simple change in perspective can open millions of possibilities.
Now, On to the Success Story Darling.
The first thing I did was process my anger. I hated him. The version of him that I was manifesting sucked, and I gave myself full right to feel that. You have the right to be angry and frustrated, emotions flow, so let them. Do not hold them, or you hold your state of being and solidify your reality for yourself. You are in complete control of everything, so process what you got going on before you do ANYTHING.
Second, I need you to have a funeral. I need you to kill the version of them that you created. Metaphorically, anyway. Let them pass away, forgive them, let them die from your reality. As a very emotional person who often feels like my emotions are very big and overwhelm me, I now use them to my benefit. I was crying like he had really gone away. Then I decided that a new him, the version of him that had learned from his mistakes, that had taken time to work on himself, the one that loves me, rose in his place.
I decided that I was open to meeting this new him, that I would meet him. That my experience would be completely different, that I would be refreshed. Every time I thought of him or had doubts, I would robotically affirm or sometimes even just tell myself, it is done. My main focus outside of this was changing myself, I changed what my definition of love was, I changed the way I loved myself, I changed the way I thought about myself, I continued to live my life. There is nothing to do, just be.
Before I knew it, Christmas was passing, and so was his birthday, it was the new year and then it was college graduation, and then it was summer. So much time had passed and I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. Of course the sneaking doubts would come but I would know it was done. If I didn't, I would say it was until I felt satisfied in my knowing.
Now, Let's get into how this started showing up in my reality and the final success. :)
1. Hearing his favorite songs/or songs we used to listen to
2. Discovering old music I listened to when I was with him. Like it would randomly show up in my playlist.
3. Dreams. Oh my god he was in my dreams, I was waking up like what is going on.
Remember that these are not your desire, they are manifestations of your ever-solidifying belief (imo) Do not accept it as the end until you get what you want.
The Success
Yesterday afternoon, I was scrolling on my phone, I wasn't thinking of anything really I was just enjoying making lists on Amazon (it's my thing, it's an addiction), and I saw a notification on cash app. I was thinking, oh did my mom send me money? Period! TELL ME WHY I OPEN MY PHONE TO SEE IT IS MY EX SAYING HE NEEDS TO REACH ME. I sat in a feeling of a full circle moment, and at that moment it all clicked. I had persisted. At this point I believed he was coming back and he did. Neither of us have much social media, I had changed my number, I had blocked him on most apps and so did he. I DID NOT EXPECT IT, I DID NOT KNOW THE MEANS AND YET IT HAPPENED. I send him my number and before I know it we are on the phone, he is repeating everything I said to myself, everything I wanted to hear. Even if I could not see the movement, it was always there.
He told me he had never stopped thinking about me, that he had cleaned himself up mentally and had started practicing meditation (again, didn't see that coming, he was not the type) and that he was sorry for everything. He said I was on his mind 24/7, the entire time I was affirming (no separation) he was feeling and thinking the same thing. He had tried finding any possible way to reach me, he was dreaming about me none stop. He prioritized his mental health, he focused on getting better, he became a better person, even though he admits that he is working tirelessly to become his best self for himself.
He said he wanted to see me, and now we are going on a vacation in the next comign months and he is taking me on a vacation to Disneyland on my birthday. Flights, hotels, excursions? Booked. He took out his laptop and immediately booked everything, literally. And we stayed on the phone all night until we got tired, and I just had to write this.
Please persist. Please keep trying. Please don't give up, you are so powerful, even when it seems like nothing is happening, something always is. Check your negative beliefs at the door, and get what you want. And if someone tells you that you can't manifest your ex or you shouldn't, I want you to remember who the god of your reality is. That's you right? Period! So go manifest!
Luv yall sm ♡
Che☆
#law of assumption#manifesting#neville goddard#self concept#manifestation#4d reality#revision law of assumption#loassumption#law of manifestation#loa tumblr
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Sunshine hcs coming your way bc it's all I've been thinking about besides my own xmen OC lol
- After the whole ordeal at the diner Sunshine wants to learn how to protect herself a. In case Logan isn't there b. So she doesn't have to see Logan get hurt and c. So she can protect Theo against his dad in case he comes by :(. Either she takes up self defense classes or she asks Logan. If the latter queue Tension, flirting, blushing, and both being worried they're gonna hurt the other. I'm thinking it would happen when she would drop off Theo and she would ask Lo abt it and they plan to meet at the school? Or her apartment? Idk up to you. If the former I think it would be interesting to reveal her "secret nightly classes" in a way where she saves Logan somehow and he's has a "Oh shit that was hot I'm in love" moment followed by a "that was stupid I'm basically immortal you could've gotten hurt" lecture
- Logan hearing Sunshine singing for the first time when he does his nightly pace/ guard of the kids rooms at night (bc hes always scared the mansion is gonna get attacked again esp since Theo is there now) and hears her voice coming through the speakers of his phone as he passes Theo's room. He opens the door to find Theo asleep as his mom sings. "Bean? You there hon?" Logan comes in, turns it off speaker, and answers the phone. "You knocked him out, siren"
- I have a random thought of Lo teaching Sunshine how to ride his bike for some reason (maybe I'm just projecting bc I want to learn lol). I feel l Iike this would happen after they get together but early in their relationship? Again lots of Tension, flirting and blushing haha
- I also have a hc that Logans love language is acts of service and touch. So way down the line in their relationship he makes a point to learn how to paint Sunshines nails, braid/style her hair, anything he can help her out w while touching her <3
ANYWAY sorry for the rambles I will definitely be back at some point with more
HONEEEY OMG OMG-
I LOVE THESE HEADCANONS SO MUCH I JUST-
These are so amaziiiing! ❤️ Thank you so much! ❤️I am so inspired, let's have a HC for each of these! ❤️
Sunshine learning how to protect herself, this would be so good! ❤️ I think they'd meet at school because Sunshine's apartment is tiny, and Logan would be so trying to keep his shit together but being that close to her...😏
If Sunshine surprises him with it though! Like, she would definitely knock someone out before Logan could so much as turn around, and he'd be staring at her like,
"What the-"
"Did you see that?!"
"You shouldn't have gotten involved-"
"Oh my God, I should get a costume or something, I'm awesome!"
"Sweetheart, we've been over this. I can't get hurt, you on the other hand-"
"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm like so badass right now."
Logan walking around the mansion to make sure Theo is safe and Sunshine singing Theo to sleep MY BELOVEDS-
ALSO-
Logan comes in, turns it off speaker, and answers the phone. "You knocked him out, siren"
I
AM
That's me being feral😂
Sunshine would be melting and she'd be like,
"...Hi Logan."
"Hi sweetheart."
"I didn't know you were awake."
"Didn't know you were awake either."
"I'm about to go to bed, it's just that um, Theo can't sleep without hearing my voice, so..."
"Can't blame him."
Logan teaching Sunshine how to ride his bike asdfghjkl oh that would be hilarious😂 She'd be like,
"I'll get a cute helmet."
"Okay, but how about you learn how to drive first?"
"I have my priorities straight."
"The priority isn't learning how to drive?"
"It is but I can't decide whether to get a lilac helmet or a pink one."
Oooooh Logan's love language is definitely acts of service! ❤️ Like, even know he's trying to show it like that, so Sunshine would be smiling and going like,
"Oh wow, the big bad Wolverine..."
"You're not telling anyone about this."
"You're very sweet, you know?"
"To you only, princess."
"I'll never ever complain about that."
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Chaotic Reading of the Azriel Bonus Chapter
So I meant to do this a while back, but just never got to it. Made my BF read Azriel's bonus chapter and the HOFAS bonus chapter.
(He knows names of characters--Elain, Azriel, Cassian and Nesta. He doesn't know who Gwyn is. He is generally only interested in Cassian, because 'he is strong and handsome' and looks like him. Doesn't exactly know who Rhys is, but knows the name and knows that he is in charge. Also he calls Rhys 'the main wizard'. For some reason he thinks that Fae are wizards. So here you go.)
Recorded reactions:
Oh, he depressed. Why? He didn't like his Solstice gifts?
Cassian is pounding Nesta, isn't he?
Oh, there she is! Who is she? Oh Elain! Hi pretty girl! Emo boi is into her for sure.
Is she into him? Because why? He is kind of boring. Is Cassian a one woman man?
Ohhh, he wants to tap that!
Oh, he really wants to tap that!
What the hell kinda weird gift is this? Babe (this is directed at me), don't give me ear plugs for Christmas.
Eat that pussy bruh!
Is he gonna bite her? he should bite her!
It's a cute gift. He could've gone a little flashier though. Maybe throw in a diamond and a ruby.
Oh, look, she is offering it on a silver platter!
Wait, why is this guy here?
Wait? he is not gonna eat that pussy?
Where. Is. The. Smut?
Bruh is a cock blocker on steroids. Wait, who is Lucien?
Why do we care about Lucien? (I explain briefly)
Blood Duel sounds rad.
Elain is stepping out with the emo Azriel on her mate. (laughs) They sound Australian! (proceeds to say 'mate' a lot in an Australian accent)
Is there gonna be a blood duel?
I feel like there is a lot of teasing in this chapter.
Oh, he is cold. He just went 'this was a mistake?!!" Yea, girls love hearing that.
Who is Mor? An ex? Oh, it's that chick you don't like. I feel you.
Babe (addressing me), this Azriel of yours has no game. This Rhys guy the Grand Wizard just told him to back off and he backed off? Who does that?! That pussy isn't gonna lick itself. Poor Elain. I hope she throws that necklace back in his face. Can I blood duel the shit out of him?
Don't like him at all!
(I correct him and tell him that Rhys is a High Lord not a Grand Wizard (that would be the KKK))
*mutters under his breath* He is acting like a Grand Wizard!
Yeah, be depressed emo boi! Who leaves a lady hanging like that?
Yeah, well, she is better off with Cassian anyway.
Does Elain have special powers? Can she burn him or something? Or Rhys? Rhys needs to mind his own business. Wait, back up. Lucien is in the same house? She doesn't like Lucien, does she? (laughs)
So if they kissed, they'd just do it in the living room for everyone to see? That's bold of them.
This chapter is very frustrating.
Emo boi needs self-esteem classes.
Who the hell is she?
Is he into her too?
Noooo, he is not into her! What bloody memory? Did they fight?
Why is she cutting the ribbon on Christmas?
Is she like a nun?
Wait, he lives in a convent with nuns?
Oh she is a priestess? Of what? Is she a nun?
(Explain to him that she is not a nun)
But he lives with a bunch of nuns?
(Explain the layout of the House of Wind)
He is into Elain, so I guess he doesn't care. Also, this setup is weird. Does he not have an apartment? Wait, he lives with Nesta and Cassian? Like roommates? Or is this a menage? No, it's not a menage, right? Because he wants to eat Elain out--and DIDN'T (kind of yelling at this point)
(Explain it's not a menage. But Nesta wouldn't mind if it were)
Okay, this conversation is boring.
He sings? Like in a band?
Oh, this is like "Kill Bill". Emo Azriel is Pi Mei. He is teaching her to kill people. I can respect that.
...This chapter is weird. Why is this part even here? Is she gonna cut the ribbon?
All I am imagining right now is Gwyneth Paltrow cutting a ribbon with a sword. (laughs)
Nope, she did not cut the ribbon.
(proceeds to offer a lengthy explanation on how difficult it is to cut a ribbon like this. I am forced to listen.)
Azriel can cut a ribbon! I think SJM legit stole this whole training idea from 'Kill Bill'. Didn't the Bride have to cut a ribbon too?
(He is not wrong)
Okay, so..........now he just leaves? What was the point of this whole part with her? I don't get it.
Ahhhhh, my girl! She left that necklace for him to find! Yeah, you go girl, feminist queen!
Not even gonna ask about this snowball fight. Is this like a cutsey thing they do?
Ohh, who is Clotho? Is she like Fate? Why are the seven bells singled out? Does it mean something? She can't talk? Aww she feels bad for him. Well, she shouldn't! (said aggressively)
I feel like this necklace is more than just a necklace. Do they explain it later?
(No)
Okay, so he just gives it away? Oh god. Please don't say Clotho is going to give it to Gwyn!! No. No. That's weird.
So wait, that's it?
This is what you guys have been fighting over for three years? (laughs) That's stupid (he is not wrong) But what are you fighting over? That he should've beaten Rhys's ass?
(no, some say that he is into Gwyn because of the last line)
Like romantically? (asks incredulously) What are you fucking stupid?
(decisively)
As a man, I can tell you he is not into her. If you are gonna give a woman a gift, you don't go through others. You want to see her reaction. You want to see her smile. You want to put it on her. The first part did it right. Not sure what the purpose of the second part was, but I hope he and Elain get some kind of a resolution, but he needs to ask for forgiveness. And so does Rhys. Does Gwyn cut the ribbon at some point?
(Yes)
Good for her. Now she can go and start avenging shit, like the Bride.
Final question, does he eat Elain's pussy at some point?
(No)
She should ask Cassian. He'd do it. And do it well.
The End
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it's been an age since i've been into naruto, and now that i have plans on making my own version on how naruto shippuden ended, i was wondering, how do you think naruto shippuden should've ended? like are you pro or anti naruhina? pro or anti sasusaku? whats your opinions on how the fourth war was played out? if you already spoke about this i'm sorry lol but im just wondering.
OMG HIIIIIIII @ofrolysdogs you're one of my OGs! How have you been????? Please please tag me or let me know once you create your rework. that sounds so intriguing!
This post is gonna be controversial, beauties.
How do you think Naruto Shippuden should've ended?
Ideally, with Naruto realizing that he doesn't need to become hokage to get the attention and validation from the people he loves and cares about. Or at the very least, with Naruto becoming hokage but abolishing the shinobi system. Maybe even make Danzo hokage along the way, just when Tsunade falls into her coma, and slowly make Naruto question the system more and more. Also, Sasuke's whole "redemption" arc should have been handled differently. First and foremost, he was a victim. He did a few things that were wrong, and I agree that there need to be consequences, but for this redemption arc I'd rather have him travel around and teach people around the world about the customs and culture of the Uchiha.
Are you pro or anti naruhina? pro or anti sasusaku?
I am both Anti NaruHina and Anti SasuSaku, but for two different reasons. I used to be a hardcore SNS shipper, but not so much nowadays. NaruHina had so much potential, they could have explored their class and privilege differences together, learning from each other and stuff. But Neji dying for their ship to sail? That was a hate crime. The reason I'm Anti SasuSaku is because I simply don't really like the thought of shipping Sasuke with anyone. He has enough to go through and putting him in a romantic relationship is not something that would make it more interesting or add stakes to it, although I wouldn't mind seeing him adopt a kid or two, given how family oriented Sasuke is.
Whats your opinions on how the fourth war was played out? I found the use of Edo tensei very interesting, albeit a little cheapened here and there. The Itachi and Sasuke vs Kabuto fight was a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing he two of them fight together side by side, and Itachi's final parting was very touching - but them fighting Kabuto of all people? Maybe if Kishi fleshed out Kabuto's story a little more, he clearly had no idea what to do with him. Poor bastard.
Madara just 'knowing' the hand signs of edo tensei is actually not so unlikely, but it still irks me how he was able to just "come back" when Edo Tensei was released.
And let's not talk about the power scaling, which went completely through the roof in the end. Oof. Kaguya, as is, ruined the storyline completely. It could have worked, but not in the way it was executed in shippuden.
But alas, I suppose there is only so much Kishi can do within the confines of a genre.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto meta#naruto opinions#anti sasusaku#anti naruhina#pro sasuke#anti konoha
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Beauty and a Beat ~ Lee donghyuck
bf!hyuck # drabble ,,, 1 ﹕ fluff ﹕ library
warnings : vulgar words, term girlfriend used, not proofread (just pure brainrot).
🐻 author's note ﹕this is based on a true story. for my finals in pe we had to dance rumba and chachacha and i swear i was sweating out of my mind. it was a group project but i still had to perform with a partner and infront of my classmates. enjoy this little drabble (my first fic back) while i rewrite the hyuck fic that tumblr just erased 🫂
“What if I just faint right now, would it give me a free pass for PE?”
“You'll be fine, bub I promise, so just follow me.” Donghyuck started off by showing you the steps for Rumba.
For your midterms in Physical Education, you were required to create and perform your own Rumba choreography. Luckily enough it was a choose your own partner thing and obviously you got to partner up with your boyfriend who is the best dancer you know.
“Hyuck, I dont know if I can even move my hips like that.”
“Sure you can you're just being shy, here,” He stood behind you, facing the mirror of the PE room, he held your hips in his hands and controlled them to move with his, “Your knees will bend on their own, you have to move your hips in figure eights, like this.”
Donghyuck is a strict dance teacher, him being one of the school's dance club vice president and student mentor you were nervous as this is the first time you'll be working with him in this field.
But maybe because he was biased and as his girlfriend he is being gentle with teaching you the choreography.
He kept doing the movement before letting go, “Ok you try.”
So try you did and it was awful, “I'm doing figure 1s, bro.”
Donghyuck tried his best not to snicker.
“Don't laugh at me.”
“Am not!” He's trying hard to hold in that laugh now.
“Ok how about we try to do the choreography first then we'll try with the hips.”
He began playing the song through the speakers and Donghyuck guided you into position. Throughout the routine though you couldn't get a hang of the steps and you commended him for his patience as you kept stepping on your boyfriend's feet.
“This isn't working, I keep stepping on you.”
“That's ok, here is the part where you spin,” he holds your hand up as you spot turn in place but when you try to get back into the first position you stepped on Donghyuck's toes harder making him groan.
“Fuck, I'm so sorry.”
“It's ok, I'm ok let's just take a break.” He went to pause the music and sat down on the bench with a hiss as he tried moving his toes.
Feeling bad you knelt down to rub at the sore area on Donghyuck's toes.
Feeling embarrassed you almost felt like crying. “Hyuck, I don't think I can do this,,,”
“That's fine, really, let's do something different for that part.”
You shook your head, “No I mean, I just can't dance— if you wanna pass the class you can switch partners I really don't mind—”
“What are you saying? grades isn't what I'm after here.”
“This is just so frustrating, I blame the education system.”
“Look, I'm not gonna look for another partner, I made the choreography specifically for us to perform.”
You looked at him confused.
“I was gonna kiss you in the end for the highlight,” a smirk was planted on his face.
Your face instantly heat up and you slapped him on the knee, “Are you insane?! I'm not kissing you infront of our teacher.”
He laughs, “I'm kidding, but seriously I wouldn't want any other partner to do this dance with, Rumba is about intimacy and connection with your partner, would you want me to get intimate with someone else?” you shook your head no, “Then I'm doing this dance with you.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you love me.”
“I'm not kissing you for any highlight, hyuck, I'm serious.”
“What about a quick peck?”
“Lee donghyuck!”
© hyvksun 2024
#ᰍ̠. . . . mel's crafts#🐻 mel's beloved : fullsun#haechan#donghyuck#lee haechan#lee donghyuck#nct donghyuck#nct dream haechan#nct haechan#nct#nct dream#nct 127#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#nct 127 fluff#haechan fluff#donghyuck fluff#lee haechan fluff
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How Nathaniel's HS arc helped me understand that there are parents who don't beat their kids
TW: Violent parents, child abuse
As MCL: New Gen began, I decided to replay the entire MCL. And I know it's a running gag in the fandom to hate on Beemoov and criticize it and I also do it. However, this post won't be about it. It is gonna be quite the opposite.
I didn't reach Nathaniel's arc in HS yet, so I'll talk from memories. But replaying HS made me think about it a lot.
Random fact about me: I was beaten as a kid. When I was younger more, as I became a teenager, less. I don't remember how often it happened, but I know that I was afraid of doing things sometimes because of this. My mom mostly used a belt to strike my legs/butt, once she used a phone charger cable or something similar. When I grew up it kinda stopped, but she continued to grab me by the hair and shake me till I was around 17-18. My dad wasn't as involved in this. But it's a running joke in my family that I am the strange ideas generator and the black sheep because he once hit me with a hard slipper on the head.
The school teachers knew that parents use violence on their kids. It's probably impossible not to know it when every now and then a kid was coming to school crying the next day after a test. And while talking with my classmates, we always came to the same conclusion: the parents are doing it for our own good, and of course they don't have enough patience to take out bullshit. Moreover, everyone will probably hit their kid when we will have them. I even came to the conclusion that every kid makes a promise to themselves that they are not gonna hit their kid, because they know how it is, but most of the kids are so awful that it's impossible not to do it. So, every time our teachers were asking us if we are beaten at home and were making parents-teachers meeting in which they were telling the parents not to beat their kids, we were looking at it with skepticism. Everyone was hit at least once in my class. It was normal.
And when I was 12-13, I saw the playthrough for Nathaniel's arc. And all the things in there seemed for me to be exaggerations. Like what kid in their right mind was going to call the cops on their parents and do something with the violence, right? But all the hatred I felt at that time towards Nath's father and the reaction of the cast made me finally understand what my elementary teacher was trying to get to me: beating your kid is not okay and there actually are kids that had never been beaten in their entire life.
Nath's arc was the first fictional representation of a beaten kid who made it through and punished his parents. A thing I didn't have as a kid before, because everyone around me was hit at least once.
I don't know if Beemoov actually wanted to spread awareness or just have some more drama, but it worked. They did put the first brick in normalizing my view against child violence. It may seem something strange for people who didn't go through this, because now I know that they do exist, but it was an eye-opener for me at that time. It didn't give me power to go against my parents violence, especially because it wasn't as often at that time. But it gave me something more important: it gave me the reassurance and hope, and all that I needed to know that I will break the circle when it is the right time.
It doesn't matter if it happened once, or multiple times, or in what state of mind was the parent. It is wrong in any case. So, please, to all the kids that went through this, know that you will make it through. You can change, you can be different. It's not an axiom that all the parents are beating their kids. You can be different and I believe in you.
And also
Thank you, Beemoov for teaching me this.
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Song Lyric Prompt with Billy Russo
“Irreplaceable” By Beyoncé 2006
[Chorus]
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter of fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking
You're irreplaceable
This song made me think of Billy. As much as I love how you write Billy 😍, he is canonically a F-Boy. 🤣
I’m not gonna lie, this was really difficult for me but thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone, I do need that once in awhile, so I appreciate you. So this isn’t EXACTLY what you probably had in mind because I kinda made the reader a bit of an asshole, an “I don’t give a fuck” kinda girl. She’s a self made HBIC.
Irreplaceable
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: couple of swear words, reader is kind of a player, herself but she’s a little soft as well. Mention of oral sex.
Word Count: little less than 1K
Summary: Reader knows she’s being played but she knows how to play that game too
A/N: I am so old, like I knew what an F-boy was but back when I was young (when dinosaurs roamed the earth) we just called them players so this is a little different than what was asked but I hope you like it anyway!
As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
He wasn’t what you expected him to be like…in bed.
You expected him to be selfish, to only care about himself and his needs but that wasn’t the case. He took care of you and your needs first.
Taking you out for a nice dinner, drinks afterwards, and even a little dancing. That was the start of his foreplay, he turned on his charm and flashed that perfect smile at you but you’ve seen it before. You knew his type, very well. He wasn’t the first guy in a fancy suit to get in your pants and he wouldn’t be the last.
There was something about maintaining a relationship that you just couldn’t seem to get a handle on, not that you didn’t eventually want one because you did. But it was easy to drive them away, you were ALWAYS working.
Owning and running your law firm was exhausting but it’s something you’ve wanted since you were young. Your mother had a picture of you when you were about 12 years old, wearing a Harvard sweatshirt, and even at that age you knew you wanted to be a lawyer.
And now you were the top defense attorney in the city and Billy Russo wasn’t the only one with a penthouse. You had one of your own.
You knew you weren’t the only woman he was using his charms on but you let him do it anyway. Why should he get to have all the fun? He should have a taste of his own medicine. Billy thought you were naïve enough to think you were the only woman he was seeing but also didn’t think you were seeing anyone else.
Always getting what you wanted was in your nature, it was in your DNA. You were a woman of status, high class, and appreciated the finer things in life because you worked your ass off for them. A glass of good bourbon after dinner, high end clothes, designer bags and shoes…all bought and paid for by you. What could a man give you that you couldn’t get for yourself?
Nothing.
Sure, the sex was good but you could do that by yourself too. That’s why they make toys. But you preferred sparring with a partner and Billy was good for that. He was really good.
Those long slender fingers of his could make you see stars every time and he could teach a class on how to properly go down on a woman because that tongue of his was a gift.
Letting him think that he was the only one that could do that to you was fun for you though, only because you knew he was using his “skills” elsewhere, not caring who he hurt in the process.
You never accepted a first offer at work or while you play so not asking “how high” every time Billy told you to “jump” was something he wasn’t used to. You didn’t always make yourself available to him every time he wanted to see you.
Why should you?
If you weren’t available, he’d just call someone that was.
“Can’t tonight, handsome. Gotta get some things done.”
But you knew he would continue to check up on you, in case you finished your work early enough for him to take you out for a drink to unwind.
Sometimes you’d let him, sometimes you wouldn’t even though you were finished with your work for the day. But you did really like him.
And one day after many months of casual play, he felt the need to come clean.
“You aren’t the only woman I’ve been seeing, y/n.” He said in a serious tone.
Never breaking eye contact, you sarcastically replied. “You think I don’t know that, Billy? How dumb do you think I am? You’re Billy fuckin’ Russo, handsome playboy CEO. You need a different woman for the different moods you’re in, right?” You said with a furrowed brow.
His jaw dropped and he was speechless.
When he finally was able to string words together, he said, “Well I just thought that we were having a good time together so—“
You cut him off. “Yes, we have been having a lot of fun. I do really like you, but I know who you are Billy Russo because I’ve dated many like you, at least they didn’t try to hide it from me! You think you’re the only man I’m seeing? I gotta lawyer over in Hell’s Kitchen that gives a good tongue fucking too, ya know.”
You put on your coat and picked up your purse. Billy almost looked ashamed like he was sorry, and he didn’t know what to say to you. All he could manage was to gaze at you with his endless brown eyes and run his fingers through his ebony colored hair.
“I do really like you, Billy. More than I’ve liked anyone in a long time but you decided to play with fire so I don’t know why you’re surprised you got burned.” You said, your voice dripping with disdain.
He tried to explain. “Baby, I really need to tell you something.”
But you didn’t want to listen. “Goodbye Billy.”
You walked out of his penthouse and left him sitting on the couch wondering what the fuck just happened. He felt guilty, probably for the first time in his life, for not being honest with you.
He tried not to, he never did this but Billy developed feelings for you and what he wanted to tell you was the reason that he came clean about the other women was because he didn’t want to see anyone else anymore.
He only wanted to see you.
But he blew it, you were gone, and he wondered if you were ever going to speak to him again.
Like you, Billy Russo is also a person that knows what he wants and he wanted you so he didn’t care how long it was going to take, he was determined to make you his…whatever it takes.
More than anything, he desired to be…irreplaceable.
Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705
Others that may enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend
If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again
#billy russo#billy russo x reader#billy russo fanfic#billy russo imagine#billy russo x female reader#ericca answers#ericca’s 400 follower celebration
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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Diary entry #7
My grandma isn't gonna teach me to drive anymore, because she says I'm not improving. Now I'm gonna have to pay for a driving class and I went down a horrible spiral where I was thinking about how worthless I am.
I'm on my period and it feels like the world is crumbling around me. If I don't get out of my household frankly I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do, so I have no choice but to pay a thousand bucks (literally) for driving school.
I screwed up and almost caused an accident, that's why she said I wasn't improving. She's been driving for 40 years, and I've only been driving for like a month or something. She says there's nothing she can teach me anymore. My brain was foggy because I'm on my period, I barely ate anything, and I was shaking from too much caffeine. I really didn't want to drive but I was an idiot and did it anyways. I fucking hate my life. It's times like this where I wish I wasn't autistic because everyone else in my life functions normally and I can't do anything right.
I have to get out of my house. There's no other option. If I can't do it, I don't think I can wait any longer than I already have. They aren't abusive, but they let me live in conditions where I'm not living as myself and it's killing me. I just need to be a man and I can't.
I can't live a second longer in this body that's not mine. I wish I had some resources to help me get out of here, but I'm mostly on my own. I'm not being abused, so I can't escape by calling services to my house, but I just can't live like this. Sorry this post was so depressing, it depresses me too!
The hate filled thoughts that flow while I'm looking at myself in the shower are killing me. I want to be rid of my female-gendered features, every last one of them.
#trans#transgender#trans rights#trans man#transmasc#ftm#pansexual#hrt#lgbt#lgbtq#being autistic#autism#adhd#august's diary
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Previous - Next
Transcript under the cut
Hemlock Abbey - 5 pm
Assistant: Welcome, ma'am. Your luggage will be taken to your room once the staff is done preparing it for you. We are sorry it's not ready yet. We were expecting you tomorrow morning
???: It's alright, dear...
Sofia: It's my fault, really. I decided to travel a day earlier
Assistant: You can wait at the dinning room while we finish things up in your room. The Queen already knows you've arrived, ma'am
David: I can't believe you were scared!
Olivia: Well, I'm not used to being around horses like you! You play polo and go on parades, I don't do that kind of stuff! I'm normal, you know!
David: *laughs* You are not normal, Liv!
Olivia: I am normal! Wearing a soldier's costum and riding a horse, that's not normal!
David: It's not a costum, it's an uniform! Granny! What are you doing here? I thought you were coming tomorrow
Sofia: I managed to leave earlier, honey
David: I'm so glad you are here...
Sofia: Oh, it's been a while since you gave me a big hug like this one! It feels nice...
David: I've missed you...
Sofia: But it's only been a couple of days, honey...
David: I know, but I wanted you to come
Sofia: Well, here I am
David: Hey, granny, do you remember Olivia? She came here with Robb for my birthday
Sofia: Of coruse I remember...
Olivia: Hello, Your Majesty
Sofia: Hello, Olivia... It's been a while since the last time we met
Olivia: Yes, ma'am, it has...
Sofia: You look well, dear. I hope my grandson is not getting you into trouble
David: There's already been an incident with a horse, and she made Robb lost a game
Olivia: *laughs* I guess that can be considered as getting into trouble
Sofia: I'm glad you are having fun... It's been a while since I saw you having fun. So, where's Louise? I was hoping to resume her classes soon
David: Oh, I guess she's upstairs. She's been working on the reception for days now
Sofia: Aren't you helping her with the wedding, honey?
David: I'm taking care of all the ceremony things, she takes care of the reception. That's the agreement
Sofia: So you have been spending time with your friend while she takes care of the wedding? Haven't you asked her to join you three?
David: She doesn't want to...
Sofia: Have you met her, Olivia?
Olivia: I have, ma'am...
Sofia: And? Didn't you two hit it off?
Olivia: Not really... I'm afraid we don't have much in common
David: I'm so glad you are here, granny! Maybe you can teach Louise how to be a better hostess
Sofia: Well, I guess I understand her, honey. It must be hard for her seeing how much you guys have in common... It's not easy to join a new family, let along a new group of friends who have known each other for years now. You know that, dear... I remember when you came to the picture. You had a difficult time at first
Oliva: Yes... I remember that
Sofia: Specially with Lottie
David: That's not the same, granny. We were kids back then, now we are adults
Sofia: That's true... But I guess she still feels left aside, honey. Try inviting her playing video games with you next time
David: *laughs* I doubt she wanna do that, granny... But I guess I could try. I promise I'll include her more if you ask her to stop her unreasonable jealousy
Sofia: Honey, jealousy is not unreasonable when it involves another woman. The two of you have a long history, and she may feel threathened by it. I think you should go easy with this friendship, cause it can cause a lot of trouble
David: She just needs to get used to. I can't just stop seeing my friends
Sofia: Just be gentle and give some attention to her as well. No one likes to feel ignored
David: Well, we have to go, granny...
Sofia: Oh, are you going out?
David: We are gonna get something for dinner. Maybe pizza or some burgers
Sofia: Why don't you order, dear? Or send Tom to get it
Olivia: We have to go, ma'am... It's a dare, we lost a game so we are getting the food on our own
Sofia: Drive safe!
David: We will!
Olivia: We should get some ice cream while we are at it
David: Ok, but you are paying. I have a wedding to plan!
Olivia: Can't you just go to the city hall?
David: Nah, my family frowns upon that
Olivia: What are you? Some sort of Prince or something?
David: Kind of...
Olivia: Sucks to be you! Ok, I'll buy, but only because you could get me out of jail one day
David: *laughs* Or send you to one!
Olivia: You wouldn't dare!
#THL#The Hammond Legacy#the sims 4#sims 4#ts4#the sims 4 legacy#the sims 4 gameplay#the sims 4 story telling#ts4 legacy#ts4 gameplay#ts4 storytelling
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≡;- ꒰ °𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐒 ꒱
chapter two; crushy wushy
"y/n can you come here for a moment?"
upon hearing his name, said boy raises up his head, finally looking away from his test, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he saw the 100% circled atop his paper. he folds the test and places it into his backpack, looking to the teacher who just called his name.
"yes?" he sighs and fixes his hair, blinking away the hopefully not obvious tiredness present on his face.
"y/n, can you do me a favor?" the science teacher, mr. lim inquires, sorting out blank test sheets for the next class coming soon.
"uh.." he pauses for a moment, biting his inner cheek. "depends on what it is!" he quickly replies, trying his best to seem bright.
"okay" he mutters. "i need you to tutor a student for me".
y/n's face drops.
he resists the urge to sigh, keeping his expression the same as before. it's only the beginning of the year, yet y/n already has been tutoring people, people who aren't even in his own grade.
he understands that people need help, yes, and he understands that sometimes options are limited, which is usually why teachers come to him and ask that he tutor students.
he's tutored students before in lower grades, and most, if not all the students, did end up improving their grades and understanding on said subjects, so teachers love to extort him whenever they want someone to tutor their students.
the problem is, though, y/n's schedule is now packed because of all this. he's already tutoring three kids, and school began only three weeks ago.
he's already been stressed because of all of the pressure put on him to be the perfect student, but now he has three students that he has to teach, and a fourth one mr. lim wants him to?
he gives a tight-lipped smile.
"i can't" he responds rather awkwardly. "i already have three students i'm tutoring, they're all in different grades, my schedule is already packed despite school just starting and— i don't think i'll be able to manage tutoring another person".
mr. lim registers his words, and y/n somehow has a glimmer of hope that he'll say; "alright then, i'll see if another student is available to tutor".
oh how he wished he would've said that.
"y/n" he begins, and said boy clenches his teeth because he can already guess what he's going to say.
"you are an extremely smart kid, there's no doubt about that, your chance of getting a scholarship is already insanely high, but this will help boost your luck—"
y/n sighs, the former expression already having left his face. "i know, but— is there not someone else you could consider? like park gunwook? he can also be a suitable tutor! he's just as smart as well i'll tell you that".
he tries his best to negotiate, but that doesn't seem to be working, at least in his eyes it doesn't.
y/n knows that ultimately, he's gonna end up doing it, because that's just the kind of person he is, he would never deny helping another person because of his own selfish (even though they're not selfish) needs.
"gunwook is the class president, he already has responsibilities he has to take care of".
and i don't? y/n desperately wants to reply, but he bites his tongue to avoid saying something that may be wrong.
i hate myself for being selfless..
"fine, i'll do it".
though y/n would love to continue arguing with his teacher, it's just not worth it, he knows that, he just has to deal with his circumstances, make the best of them or whatever. "who am i tutoring now?"
"someone in your grade, he— he's not the best when it comes to science, but, he's not horrible at the class, you won't need to tutor him for long".
y/n blinks. "can you tell me a name?"
"kim gyuvin".
y/n narrows his eyes, feeling like he recognized the name from somewhere. his mind races as he tries to remember where he's heard that name before.
kim gyuvin. kim gyuvin. kim gyuvin—
oh. he's one of gunwook's friends, and junhyeon's friends. tall, handsome guy who screams all the time, he's actually pretty good when it comes to history class, and has decent grades, they're not all that bad, science just always trips him up.
alright y/n, shouldn't be that difficult, at least you kind of know the guy.. it'll make your life easier!
"i— yeah yeah, that's fine, i'll do it, can i go now?"
"oh, yes yes!"
y/n sighs, giving a fake smile as he repositions his backpack on his shoulder and walked out of the classroom.
maybe he muttered a few curses under his breath, but no one needed to know that.
⟡ ֺ 𓂂 TAGLIST (open) ꜜ ˖ ݁ 𓂃 @jinkiseason, @i520u, @junjiie, @elaineas-elysian, @purikkura, @big-uwu-stan, @sirenologies, @cowsidfk, @kpoprhia, @bbangricz, @samudan, @solarwoniii, @stvrboy-k, @gunwookiez, @planethyuka
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#head over heels — kim gyuvin#kim gyuvin#zerobaseone#zb1 kim gyuvin#zb1 gyuvin#zerobaseone gyuvin#zb1 drabbles#zb1 imagines#zb1 scenarios#kim gyuvin x reader#kim gyuvin imagines#kim gyuvin smau
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It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.
I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.
I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.
all the love, xxx
🌷
I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33
and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!
yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)
i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when beta–ing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3
i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just raw–dogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!
– i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwards– it made a big difference in readability (imo).
ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??
– sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realism– we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3
– this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)
– in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!
– thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.
that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.
i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.
and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33
sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (◠‿◠✿)
#also tentatively offering beta services to mota/sb moots bc i love helping w fics <33 hmu#if i am not super busy i am SAT#this got so long WHOOPS so sorry anon#johnslittlespoon asks#johnslittlespoon yaps
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TW death, graphic description of a body and implied child abuse/suicide attempt
Nicomaque, Aristophane and Andreas are @soupedepates 's characters, Senri is @corneille-but-not-the-author 's
I knew the moment I parked in front of the building I would not like what was going to happen.
My day started normally, though. Going to teach, tease Senri on headmaster work, give to countless Ultimates a lecture on the power of imagination. Maybe spoil a little bit my baby daughters that are not babies anymore. A good day.
The fact it was a good day should have hinted at how weird it was.
And then Senri told me about Nicomaque's repeated absences. That it was three days since he hasn't come to the school. And that's where it hit me.
So that's why everything was so
Calm.
He was worried. Senri is among the rare people that can be worried about someone he knows no matter how much he doesn't like them. He may not care, but he notices, like he noticed my dark circles or Raraka's impending nervous breakdowns. Maybe that's why I love him, or why I started to worry, too.
He asked me to check. Of course. I am the only one that still has a key to his apartment. In case of suicide attempt or overdose.
So I put my classes on hold and decided to check.
The building was normal. No accident, no disaster whatsoever.
Only the flies on the window.
Everywhere.
Blocking life light
Obscuring the inside like a cross.
I knew I would not like what I was gonna see.
I am no idiot
I am no optimistic fuck
I am no stranger to Tragedies.
I took out my phone, got out of the car. Dialed the emergency number.
The voice resonates in my head like an echo of the outside world. The world where there's no flies on the window of that guy I am the only person with the keys to his house, the guy I hate so much I know his body and mind by heart the guy that almost got my sister's lover killed pulled me away from the roof tried to make me relapse in my addictions couldn't even leave his.
"Yes, thank you for responding. I call about potential corpse identification."
The words taste like decay in my mouth.
Of course I didn't like what I saw.
Flies are not an unusual sight for people that knew Maquo's way of life. He never knew how to take care of himself. At some point, he stopped trying. Not even for his child's sake.
For whom would he?
Not even to appear at least a little like a human being.
What is the point of looking human if you aren't?
But that many are not only from his trash bin, or the dirty dishes in the sink starting to grow moldy.
I lead the policemen towards his room. Some of them flinch in front of the mess.
"Does that guy really... live in that dump?"
I suspected not anymore.
Behind the smells of mold and old meals and booze lies a stench of decay recognizable like no other. The overwhelming fist of death.
How long...
"How long will you lay in your own crap with no one to ever worry about you?"
"Eh now, van Heel, now that's just harsh, I do not lay, look, I am standing. Besides, you worry, or you wouldn't be here."
"You're being a bit full of yourself if you don't think the only thing I worry about is the safety hazard you live in."
"Aww. Tsundere."
"Laugh all you want. We'll see when you're dead."
Finally a policeman opened the door. I put in a mask.
That was a good idea.
The smell is everywhere. Flies buzzing like crazy around a form on the bed, probably a factor of what accelerated the decay. Because I remember seeing him five days ago at school coughing his lungs out so hard every cough got out a cloud of smoke. But he was still coughing, still laughing, still breathing.
What is in front of me does not breathe, does not cough, does not try to kiss me with a breath of fags and booze. Whatever lies in that bed is not the thing that would sass me with whatever unethical thing I would be doing according to non-existent Lord knows what philosopher guy before pulling out a beer and asking if I want some.
What is in front of me is just a lump of flesh white as death, eyes closed and mouth full of eggs that once called itself Nicomaque Papoulos.
I told him once he would die before me. I would have the last laugh when he's dead.
I do not laugh.
"Sounds like a liver failure, says a policeman while inspecting the bed. No traces of violence, no signs of overdose, only... The bottles."
"The bottles" describing a pile of glass stinking like cheap whiskey and vodka. Yeah, that sounds about right. Of course his body would break down first.
"You're a fucking living wreck. I don't know what will get you first, liver failure or brain death."
"How about neither?"
You wish.
"Need me for authentification?" I asked a policewoman. She shook her head.
"No, you did enough, you can go out for a minute. Since it's not murder, your deposition can wait. Please give me your contact info."
I comply, and go out without a look towards the corpse.
"Hey, Andreas, Emerens calling."
On the other side of the phone I hear a little gasp of surprise. To be fair, we haven't spoken in a long time. Not since he found a job, got into active life, started therapy for good. We sometimes exchange news on social media. Nicomaque's name is never spoken.
"What do you want?"
"I have news for you."
I don't intend to sugarcoat it. I may be out, standing next to the family car with the sun kissing my skin, but death is still gripping at my clothes like a fervent lover not wanting to let go. Everything is starting to give me a headache. And it's only the beginning.
"What could possibly earn me a call from-"
"He's dead."
Andreas stops in his tracks. He didn't need to hear a name to understand.
"He..."
"Found him this morning. Since three or four days apparently, police will tell me, I am no coroner. Liver failure."
There is a long silence. A silence broken by a nervous laugh I can hear so much behind.
"Of course.... Of course that MOTHERFUCKER got the most alcoholic death possible! Goddamnit couldn't he just, I don't know, get shot or whatever???"
"Would you take a bullet for a student?"
"Lord, no. Don't tell that to Pontiff though. I kinda need the job."
"Figured. And he's not stupid, he knows. But what if the student was your own child?"
"..."
"I find you suddenly silent."
"Well what am I supposed to answer?"
"And of all people YOU had to warn me, you who pretends to hate him all day long but I know damn well what you really think, you fucking hypocrite-"
I let him shout at me for a moment before taking advantage of a moment of silence, he taking his breath to shout, shout again maybe
He was so silent linked to monitors, his heart stabilised but his blood oxygen so low. Of course, blood loss does that to people and I know that all too well. I recognise the scars on his arms because the same are hidden behind tattoos and colors.
I never hated Nicomaque more than at this moment.
"Are you finished?"
He stops in his tracks, now dead silent. I guess he never heard me snapping before today.
I sigh before starting over, my voice far more composed than before.
"You do whatever you want with that info. Organize the funeral or shit in his grave, I dont give a fuck, only thing I will ask you is to give me Eudoxe's number so I can warn him. Or do it yourself if you want. I don't care."
He doesn't ask why I have only his. We both remember.
He's pale on the bed and I'm sitting next to him, when finally visits are allowed. In his hand is a little paper with numbers marked on it.
"In case of emergency."
Andreas stays silent for a moment. Before sighing.
"You're doing an awful lot for an archnemesis."
A crooked smile grows on my lips.
"I know. Pathetic isn't it?"
Neither of us know who I'm talking about.
Three knocks on the door in a well-known code. I've been outside all day, calling Andreas then Eudoxe then Aristophane who was the only one asking about me, before telling me to rest because he will warn the others. I still haven't called Augusta and Otto. Something tells me neither of them would care.
So of course Senri should know it's me.
He still has the audacity to ask.
"Who's there?"
I grin.
"Your favorite errand doggie, sweetie. Care to let me in? I have news."
"Ah, there you are. Come in."
There is something in his voice that looks like worry. Why would he worry? I haven't been gone that long, only for most of the morning, I didn't even miss that many classes I shouldn't be the one he's worried about.
Senri is sitting in his chair looking at papers, the usual. Oh, the jokes I did about ruining Judge's little throne the only way I know how. But not today. Today is no day to joke.
He lifts his head hearing me coming, his eyes widening when he sees my face.
"So?"
My grin is almost believable.
"Well, I have bad and good news. The bad news is, you're gonna have to find a new philosophy and morale teacher."
Senri's eyes widen even more. He begins to stand up, silent, still looking at me at that grin who's so deep in my face I almost feel it bleed.
"Good news is.... "
I should be laughing.
"Is..."
I didn't even cry for my birth giver.
"..."
"Don't look so disgusted, van Heel. I know you're gonna cry on my coffin."
"HAH! You wish. Only thing I'd do when you're six feet under is throw a party."
....
What am I trying to say to myself.
"..... Never mind. There's no good news, after all."
I guess I wasn't as heartless towards you as I thought I was.
Senri is still looking at me. Gestures towards another chair, next to his desk, one I know by heart. The chair only I sat in, from what I've gathered. The chair of the assistant headmaster.
I sit in, and he turns towards me, eyes piercing whatever expression is on my face.
"So Nicomaque is dead."
"Yep. Organ failure. Since three days or so. Gave my statement to the police, nobody will be interrogated at Hope's Peak."
"At least that. How's the funeral going?"
"Gotta speak with Aristophane and Pericles but probably in Greece."
"And how are you feeling?"
He still looks at me. At the grin that didn't leave my face. My signature grin, the one used against me or for me so much during my social media life, the grin only a few people know is there for hiding.
I don't let go of it.
"I'll figure out later."
I have no time to explore whatever's in my brain right now.
Senri smiles a little. Of course he gives me that ironic look.
"And that suuuuure helped you cope."
I roll my eyes.
"Oh, fuck youuu."
"You wish. But seriously. You good?"
Again with that question.
"I don't know what am I supposed to feel."
There is one thing I like about Senri.
He doesn't give me an answer.
He doesn't try to tell me what I should feel.
He doesn't even say anything somehow judgemental.
He just stands up, and goes to put a hand on my shoulder.
Five seconds later, it becomes a hug.
What should I feel?
That's my worst enemy.
He became the deadbeat dad I was loathing.
He hurt so many of my loved ones.
And yet at the same time I looked at what we shared with such a fondness I don't find in any of my relationship.
I smile a little behind the brain fog.
I guess you did have the last laugh, you little piece of junk.
#hel is talking#la peste moderne#hel ocs#lpm#hel stories#hel writing#not my ocs#something something losing someone only makes you realise you actually enjoyed their existence
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Hey there
I saw your post about Cornelius and Franny and your perspective on their relationship, and I just want to say that I think it's really interesting (in a good way!) that you don't necessarily care for them as a couple.
What I really love about Meet the Robinsons is that it's a lot of people's comfort movie for a whole plethora of reasons, and those aren't going to be the same for everyone. I love it because Lewis finally gets adopted by people who accept him for who he is at the end, and that's something I desperately wanted as a kid and never really got.
I also know a lot of people see a little bit of themselves in Lewis, and that's the character that they most relate to.
For me, Franny and Cornelius are my comfort ship because I just love the idea that they were really close best friends who just kind of fell in love and get married and live happily ever after. But I know not everyone is going to see that, and it's totally okay!
I actually really love your headcanon of them being best friends with benefits, at least in an AU ☺️ I just love imagining their friendship, even without any romantic aspects. It's okay not to ship them, there's not law that says you have to. Like I know a lot of people who think Benedict Cucumber (I can't spell his last name lol) is the sexiest man alive, but I genuinely don't see it. 🤨
I also want to say that, as someone with a kid who never listens, I can understand their frustration with Wilbur. I think Cornelius is just tired of his kid's shit since he's probably told him a trillion times not to touch his inventions 😅 But I understand that it's triggering to see stuff like that, especially in a movie that's all about acceptance and I hate that those aspects make it difficult to watch.
Anyway, I know this was really long and kinda came out of the blue, and I hope this doesn't come across in a negative way. Your artwork showing their relationship in a different light as well as your AUs is really sweet, and I hope you never lose your spark.
Also, can confirm the straights are not okay 😂😐😶🫥
Hey, thanks. I needed this. Sometimes I look at what other people are doing within this fandom and I feel like the odd one out because my headcanons all lead towards the dark and triggering side of things due to my own trauma. Then again... when am I not the odd one out? Heh heh heh.
On the topic of people seeing themselves in Lewis... He was actually me as a kid. Down to the leading with anger as an emotion because I was autistic and nobody taught me how to regulate mine. Dude, I even related to the parts in the montage where he was up teaching the class. I did that too, because I was reading middle school level chapter books when I was six.
Lewis' safe spot seemed to be the roof, and I related to that for... obvious reasons, if you saw my previous art post. That's why I developed the headcanon he thought about jumping off that roof a couple times. Some people may ask what the hell is wrong with me, but who are you to judge how I cope with my trauma? If that means making a fictional character suicidal, then all you gotta do is leave it alone. It doesn't affect your life in any way. Just mine.
Anyway, I'm happy to know someone likes my interpretation of their relationship. I'm definitely gonna do more with them, I already have some ideas I might spring for. I was originally gonna do "Ask Agoraphobic Lewis" as my new ask blog, but now I'm thinking I might do "Ask Bestie Lewis and Franny." We'll see on that one, heh heh.
Yeah the straights are never okay when we check up on 'em, huh?
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Remaking a post so it's here on my main account
Responding to @goblintoothfairy on a post I made
This gave me a lot of thoughts and feelings I am so sorry for a very long post
I wanna answer your question but it's gonna be long and I wanted it to be it's own thing and not potentially get lost in the void
It's complicated honestly
And it's also something that for me is directly tied to both my physical and mental health
I can't give any kinda general or blanket advice cause it was kinda the perfect storm for me, a lot of different things changed and fell into place
I got outta school, I was able to get out of the physical environment, the bright lights and loud noise and layered smells, and the social environment, to many people, passive aggressive peers And teachers, complicated social things and shitty friend groups. I'm able to set my own schedule and better control the energy I'm using each day
I got out of a toxic and shitty relationship, we were not good for each other, I can be a lot because of my physical and mental health and he couldn't handle it and instead of be honest about it he took it out on me.
I got back into therapy and started taking a really cool self defense class. My therapist is really cool and he's also an instructor for the class
They push me to challenge some of the things I was telling myself, push me to defend and also to just Have boundaries. Teach me to stick to my words and actions, show me I'm capable of more then I allow myself to think.
But they also except and understand my limits, physical what I'm able to do and also just when I'm not comfortable with something, they encourage me when I tell them no I can't/won't/don't Want to do something
And through all of this I started internalizing things, came to terms with parts of my identity as a queer person more but also as someone who's neurodivergent and disabled
I started paying attention to how I was really using my energy and if I was really ok with it
I decided I was worth more then the things I'd let people and Myself put me through
I decided I deserve to be myself and that if the people currently in my life couldn't handle it they weren't worth dissolving myself for
And this last part is extremely important to me
I am Still working on it, still going through the motions of catching myself in negative loops and changing it
I still have bad days, I still really struggle sometimes
I'm also realizing that's ok, that I'm going to still struggle
That I might always struggle, and even that's ok
I'm working on focusing on being kind instead of nice
To myself and others
I give myself space to have my negative thoughts and feelings, I still get stuck in them sometimes
But I feel them, and then I go talk to my mom, or open a window, or eat a snack
It's a long hard process, and it will be a life long one for me
I'm currently working on just Talking to my friends more, my mind convinces me I'll ruin it, that they hate me, it still wins the battle most days
But I'm working through it, getting better most days
I'm no keeping quiet about things I care about and believe in for other people's comfort
And it honestly has Nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me working towards being the person I want to be
I hope this helps, and if it doesn't that's ok, I really don't think there's a one size fits all way to go about this
Another important thing, it's been something I've been actively working on in some form or another for two years now, and I still have so much more work to do
#im so sorry to re make a whole big thing#ive been kinda obsessively sorting and un sorting some of my blogs#i think imma just delete my other ones#so ill STOP doing this lol#queer ramblings#queer#nonbinary#ramblings#punk#trans#gender noncomformity#actually adhd#actually autistic#anxitey#mental health#fibromyalgia#pots syndrome#chronic pain#chronic illness#they/them#it its#long post#text
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