#Horse Therapy For Anxiety

[warningstandbygo]

The great thing about being an Adult is that if you randomly get Extremely Overwhelmed by Existence, no one can stop you from going into your closet in your bedroom with your laptop, changing into a onesie, and sitting in the dark quiet enclosed space all by yourself (even though you're the only one here because your spouse isn't home from work yet).

[madanimalscientist]

Bob the Metaphorical Anxiety Horse

My therapist today told me that it might help to visualize my unproductive anxiety as some sort of personification I can get used to it being there without fighting it. Like exposure therapy almost, like the way I helped myself re my arachnophobia by deciding small spiders were fine in the living room/bathroom and calling the spiders "Spider-Bob" and now my arachnophobia is a lot better.

I told her about how some horses are like dangerous anxiety sofas and how they can freak out at a lot of random stuff sometimes. She said a metaphorical horse sounded like a good starting point.

So we are taking a sort of 'exposure therapy' approach to my anxiety where I am imagining my unproductive anxiety as a horse looking over my shoulder and being all "Hey. HEEEEYYY. You should totally be freaking out about ____ right now".

And I can go "Shut up, Bob, you're a horse."

The idea is to break the mental itch-scratch cycle of anxiety in a sustainable way.

We shall see how it works but I'm open to trying it, her ideas are often pretty good. And given I'm still fighting off this #*(@^$ sinus bug (round 2 of antibiotics, wheee) and my anxiety always flares when I am sick and grumpy......might as well give this a go.

(The whole Bob thing started bc of Ursula Vernon calling critters "[species]-Bob" (like Thrush-Bob). So like way back in 2017 I started calling spiders "Spider-Bob" as a way of making the spiders less scary and that graduated to 'spiders in the living room and bathroom are fine, if they're in my bedroom they get relocated' and I've....really significantly reduced my arachnophobia? At least to levels that are reasonable given I live in Australia)

[thedressagedraft]

Anxiety spiking because I sent an email to a barn I might want to move to 🫠

[gingiberiequis]

Gingiberi Equis

Website: https://www.gingiberiequis.com

Address: Lincolnshire, UK

Gingiberi Equis, based in Lincolnshire, UK, specializes in equine sports and rehabilitation massage therapy. Offering professional services for horses, ponies, and donkeys, the business focuses on relaxation, tension relief, and overall well-being of equids. Techniques include massage, Light and Low-Level Laser Therapy (LLLT), and bit and bridle fitting, aiming to prevent and treat diseases, promote optimal health, and achieve calmness in mind, body, and spirit.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100083065672289

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gingiberi_equis/

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[theoldaeroplane]

I need things to stop HAPPENING

[stephjacq]

2023.12.01

Got a treadmill. Brain horse is at once delighted, relieved and overwhelmed.

[rachelwbush]

Discover Healing Through equine-Assisted Therapy

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Connecting with Horses for Emotional Healing

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Through insightful chapters, discover practical techniques for integrating equine interactions into your wellness journey. Learn how these interactions can reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and enhance interpersonal skills. Whether you're overcoming trauma, navigating life transitions, or simply seeking personal growth, Equine-Assisted Therapy offers a unique and effective method for healing.

Experience the Journey on Kindle Unlimited and Audible

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Visit Amazon today to get your own copy and start your journey of healing through connection with horses. Your feedback matters—leave a review to share your experience, and join me on Instagram for inspiring stories and updates!

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

My sixth grade teacher read us a story where someone got stomped to death by a moose (the only other thing i remember about the story was learning about snow blindness) and I’m just supposed to not be scared of moose? I think I’m more scared of moose than I am of grizzly bears. There are guides about how you can survive grizzly bears and how not to set them off and it’s pretty straightforward. Sure, it might not always work, but I’ve usually been ignored by grizzly bears. Moose have the anxiety of a prey animal though, even if most of the predators that went after American megafauna went extinct several thousand years ago. They still have predators, yeah, but adults are basically tanks that can easily handle different types of terrain. They are huge and they aren’t as cocky. They are also a bit less predictable. I don’t hate moose, and I’ve encountered more of them than i have grizzly bears (more black bears than both combined though, but they are fairly easy to exist around without panicking imo) but the moose scare me more. And the mom ones are more defensive than normal and male ones get all heated when they’re horny and if I’m not completely terrified around bears (most, I’m not going anywhere near polar bears if I can help it) because I listen to safety guides and I know all I can do is try to avoid either of us getting aggressive, I should probably be okay around moose, right? I mean, I listen to the advice about them and I’m careful, but no. Your sixth grade teacher reads a book where a guy gets trampled into some pile of viscera and you aren’t taking anxiety medication yet and suddenly you’re probably traumatized and are now scared of moose for life, and in a way that you aren’t scared of a lot of other animals. It doesn’t help that they can be a bit less predictable than bears and that the prion disease makes them a mess. I don’t really have anything against moose, I wouldn’t want to hurt one, but I’m also terrified of them in a way that I’m not scared of many other animals. Most of the other animals I’m scared of were also ones I learned something traumatizing about before I was medicated, but moose are the ones I run into most (aside from rodents but for some reason they aren’t as scary? Probably because the scary part isn’t the rodent themselves, but the haunta virus) so it feels like the most pressing one. I’ll be hiking (or sometimes just existing outside of town) and then a moose will show up and the people I’m with will be like “woah! Cool! Don’t you want to take a picture? You do photography” and I’m shaking a little because nope! I am not getting closer to the moose. I’m aware that they are 30ft away, that doesn’t mean that I’m not still scared.

[nothisisntella]

sometimes i think therapy fixed me and then i have a breakdown cause someone hasn't replied for an hour and they must've died in a car crash

[bullet-prooflove]

Broken Glass: Travis Wheatley x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @trublu2u @yousigned-upforthis @gatefleet @pansexualhailstorm

Companion piece to:

Texas - Travis and you make a realisation about your relationship.

Broken - Travis recieves a phone call from Rip regarding you and Malcom Beck.

Maui - Travis adds some extra security measures to your new place.

Colt 45 - Travis doesn't mess around when it comes to your saftey.

Ride - Travis lifts your mood by taking you for a ride.

Wet - You and Travis discuss something you've been avoiding.

Travis’s secret comes out in the worst way possible, during a fight about him fucking another woman.

You’ve been quiet over the last few days, more withdrawn than usual. Sleeping on the couch instead of coming to bed. He thinks it’s because of the counselling session you’d had earlier in the week. You’re confronting a lot of tough stuff through EDMR therapy and it can throw you off a little.

“I gotta shoot out for my physio appointment.��� He tells you, picking up the keys to his truck from the side table in the living room and that’s when he hears you say.

“We both know you don’t have a physio appointment.”

He freezes in that moment, his entire body shifting to look to you. There’s a fire in your eyes he’s not seen in a long time as you stand over by the bookshelf with his things on,  your fingertips trail over the glass trophy from his latest competition. You flick it forward and it hurtles off the shelf smashing onto the hardwood floor sending glass skittering in every direction. The dog barks from outside but you ignore it, your gaze fixed on him.

“You have five more of these fucking things Travis.” You say tipping over the next one and the crash reverberates through the house. “And lot more shit that I can break, so why don’t you tell me who she is?”

“Gina honey, I promise you…”

And down goes the next one, exploding into a million pieces.

“You’re a liar.” You tell him with a ferocity he feels in the very depths of his bones. “I called your physio to pass on a message last week but they said you haven’t been going for months. So I’ll ask you again who the fuck is she?”

You reach for the crystal decanter then, the one that’s been in his family for five generations and that’s when he snaps.

“I’ve been seeing a counsellor.” He shouts with an edge of franticness to his voice because your hand is already wrapped around the heirloom, your arm slung back ready to hurl it at his head. “It’s not another woman, it’s a counsellor!”

“What?” You respond, lowering the decanter, the amber liquid sloshing around inside. “But you said…”

“I know I said that cowboys don’t do therapy but I was having some anxiety about leaving you alone with the new season coming up.” He confesses as he approaches you slowly with open palms as if you were a skittish horse. “I didn’t tell you about it because I didn’t want to exacerbate the shit you’re already dealing with.” His hand clasps your wrist lightly, guiding it down so the decanter comes to rest safely back on the silver tray.

“When you say anxiety…” You begin and Travis releases you, rubs his palm over the nape of his neck.

“Panic attacks.” He tells you as he meets your gaze. “Whenever I think about leaving you, I get this tightness in my chest, my heart starts to palpitate and it feels like I can’t breathe.”

“Do you know…”

“Yea.” He tells you, his hands coming to rest on your hips, thumbs tracing soothing circles over as he swallows hard against the well of emotion in his chest. “I can’t get over what Malcolm Beck did to you, what I allowed him to do to you.”

You frown at his words and he purses his lips into a grim expression.

“The night you were attacked I was supposed to be there.” He reminds you, his voice rough. “But I wasn’t, I was in Texas licking my wounds because you decided to stay in Montana and I…” He trails off then forcing down the sob that threatens to erupt from his chest. “That choice, it haunts me because if I had stopped being such a prick there’s a chance that none of this would have happened.”

“Travis.” You whisper, cradling his face between your hands. “This would have happened whether you were here or not. Malcolm wasn’t the kind of man who can let his ex-wife be happy, it wasn’t in his nature.”

“But…”

“No buts. What happened to me is no more your fault than it is mine.” You tell, wrapping your arms around him, drawing him into your proximity. “And as for leaving me alone when you’re off showing the horses, that’s something we can work on, together. There’s steps we can take to make you feel more comfortable with it.”

Travis sighs, burying his face into the curve of your throat.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable with it.” He mumbles against your skin, cradling you close.

“We’ll work on it.” You reassure him, your fingers carding lightly through his hair. “I promise you, we will.”

Love Travis? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[dark-bakura1]

Okay lovelies, now that the year is almost over and there are only a few hours left, I have to use this time to get something off my chest. It's just been on my mind for a while and I want to end the year with a few nice words.

When I found my way into the DCA fandom by coincidence last year, I never expected to find a digital place where I feel so comfortable - besides various communities in the horse art role play game, in which I have been more or less active for years. I never expected to start REALLY enjoying drawing again, but these two characters just made that happen. For years I've been drawing just thinking about how many points I can get out of leveling my horses, how much effort I have to put into an event picture to have a chance at one of the top three places and somewhere along the way I totally forgot to have fun with this hobby. Fun has turned into a compulsion to always aim for the best possible result. I started to overthink pictures for so long and wanted to create something so complex that I ended up not starting at all: Because I could never have realized it the way it looked in my head.

But since I stumbled into the DCA fandom myself - by pure coincidence, I'd like to say again - and started being active on Tumbr, I've found my way back to the 'origin' for myself: Having fun with what you do. This fandom has captivated me so much that I started reading English fanfiction about our two beloved robots - something I NEVER thought would happen. Simply because my concentration is totally limited and it's hard enough for me to read and understand texts in German. For me, it was never even conceivable that I would read something in a language that is not my mother tongue: And now here I am, doing it more often than I thought. Not only that, I've even started writing again myself, have an account on ao3 and upload stories there myself. I take the trouble to write, translate, proofread and upload things… and some people even think it's really great :3

And do you know why? Because behind the DCA fandom there is an incredibly large group of people like me: Who carry around a lot of problems themselves and seek refuge with two fictional characters in a fandom that is incredibly cozy, understanding, lovable and friendly. Of course, I could also create things in a fandom that isn't that… but for me it makes an incredible difference. I have an anxiety disorder around people. Even the monthly supermarket shop is a huge challenge for me. Every trip out the door is exhausting and I don't really have contact with anyone in RL. I have my mother and grandma. I go to the doctors, to Ergo therapy and I have BEWO people on hand to support and help me… but I don't have any friends. Not because I don't want to, but because friendships are incredibly stressful for me. I can't maintain them. I haven't said a word to the person I would most likely call a 'friend' in a year - because I simply don't have the strength. Talking, listening, reacting… it's all incredibly exhausting for me. But as soon as I open Tumblr and especially Discord, I see a bunch of great people. I can join in if I can and want to, but I don't have to. And to top it all off, I see so much self-insert stuff that makes me think, 'Man, you're not so alone after all' - and on top of that, even more people who also think it's good and can relate. I know that not everyone in the DCA fandom is so nice either, but the ones I've had the privilege of getting to know are just balm for my soul.

If someone had told me at the beginning of 2023 that I would find my way into a great fandom with even better people at the end of the same year, I would have declared them crazy. I don't have it in for people and since I've almost exclusively had really shitty experiences so far, they're welcome to stay far away from me. Most of them have expectations: Expectations that I can hardly, if at all, fulfill. But there are so many great people behind Sun and Moon who are simply supportive. Not toxic, not mean, not patronizing. No. They are people who are super wholesome. I don't need someone who pushes me, teaches me, corrects me or otherwise wants to educate me with phrases that they themselves don't live by. I don't want someone who puts even more pressure on me. I want people with whom I feel safe and comfortable. people with whom I can get what other people don't want to give me. When I think that I didn't like Sun or Moon in the game, I find it amazing that they are now my refuge and straighten me out mentally so many times a day. And thanks to them, I found you. Yep - YOU. Anyone who wants to may now feel addressed. Even if we've certainly never had any contact with each other: You are part of the community that I have come to love and that I am addressing here. There is so much hate, I love a Safespace that simply has love for everything and everyone. I've been here for a year now… and I hope for MANY more years with one of the greatest communities I've ever been a part of.

Hugs to ALL of you, lots of love goes out to everyone. Happy New Year, stay healthy and I wish you and your loved ones all the happiness in the world. Thank you for existing and just being amazing people. please keep that forever <3

[solstices-dreams]

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. I deleted my old one of this on accident, so if you’re like- oh i’ve read this before, YES! YOU HAVE! I’M JUST DUMB AND DELETED IT!

— 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐬.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲. [ batfam dr ] ❦︎

#ᯓ★ - 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. living the teenage dream with populartiy, friends, and no anxiety ; having a twin brother ; living without fear of judgement or money ; s/o - ☼

#𐂂 - 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬. transferring to hogwarts b/c my dad and i moved to Europe ; getting to hang out with marauders and all the hijinks that ensue ; getting to use magic and see wizard culture ; big friend group >>> ; general teenage tomfoolery

#ᨒ↟ - 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬. being the victor of the 68th hunger games returning for the quarter quell ; no trauma/death ; found family troupe ; to meet and love the people so dear to me ; s/o - finnick odair ● ❦︎

#⌖ - 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐫. having super powers ; hanging out with the batfam and other supers >>> ; super cool tech that I get to mess around with

— 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐬.

(either unscripted or I’m not actually sure if i wanna shift there or not currently shifting there) star wars ; lord of the rings ; adult fame ; teen fame ; wings of fire ; ilvermorny

#⁀➴ - 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞. halt’s second apprentice ; fav childhood book ; i’ve always wanted to be a ranger ; riding horses / practicing archery ; love all the people and they’ve felt like my friends since forever ● 

#⚯ ͛- 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨 𝐞𝐫𝐚. a transfer going to hogwarts for my 4th year ; my dad’s a famous potion master ; live the teenage dream ; go to the place that has been a home in my mind for many years

#☁︎ - 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. a place to chill out and quiet down between drs ; purple cloud vibes ; a space for learning, therapy, and scripting, it’s an apartment building so different floors are different drs or places to chill

#𓅓 - 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐬. hang out with the seven ; another fav childhood book ; having friends as a teenager ; focused on the seven & the broader riordianverse ; s/o - poly seven (potentially) or someone from the seven (potentially)

#⚚ - 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐲 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧. hang out at summer camp ; especially with the other counselors ; tv show vers ; no canon timeline ; for my obsession with mythology ; focused on camp halfblood & the first five books ; s/o - luke castellan ❦︎

#△ - 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞. just for the characters, jo yuri >>>, unscripted

#♔ - 𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥. unscripted, cool dresses, being a queen, fancy diplomacy, being able to rule, fantasy aspect of magic, worshipping gods, potentially dating my guard…?

— 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫.

if you share any of the drs marked with the “●” literally be my mutual, these are my rare drs that i see little to no one shifting too and would love to have someone to talk about them with. 

if you share any of the drs marked with the “❦︎” pls don’t expect to talk about s/os if you share my s/o, we can totally talk but just not about s/os!

last updated … [jan. 26]

[thesilvertheorist]

• missed you •

Carl Grimes x reader

REQUEST: anon asked -

"I LOVE your headcanons for Carl!!

I was wondering if we could get a FIC more in detail with the whole Carl giving us his hat when he wants attention thing? Maybe he misses reader who’s been busy lately so he runs up and puts his hat on our head and then runs away and we go to find him and it’s just lots n lots of fluff please please please? :3"

plot: you're away for a week, carl doesn't cope well, fluff ensues.

warnings/tags: fluff, sfw, soft!carl, worried!carl, anxious!carl, established relationship, cuddles as therapy, carl receives the love he deserves, hat (iykyk), alexandria era.

word count: 3095

Masterlist

Carl had always been impatient, snippy, and downright rude if things weren’t going his way. His attitude was no different lately as you were away for an entire week. Rick had assigned you to join the negotiation team heading for Oceanside and Carl was pissed that he wasn’t able to join you. He had asked his dad a million and one times if he could go, to which Rick always responded with a head tilt and a sharp “no, y’ can’t”.

You’d been assigned to the negotiation team as you’re level headed but always quick thinking. Rick knows that you’re better there, fairly negotiation on ammo supplies, as opposed to sending someone like Eugene…who’d outwardly disrespect the rules of the agreement and end up getting everyone killed. It was best for you to go along with the group, but you still didn’t want to. You’d prefer to stay here and do your casual shifts around Alexandria…maybe spend some time with your adoring boyfriend…

When you were packing to leave, Carl sat on the edge of the bed and huffed in disapproval as you packed only your essentials: a few spare clothes, toothbrush, small comb, weapons, ammo. Your boyfriend was insistent that he’d sneak out of the walls and follow you. Knowing exactly what he’s like (and how likely he is to follow through on that threat) you stand in front of him as he’s sat, and pull him into a hug, Carl nuzzling into your waist.

“Don’t go” he insists gently.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll be back before you even realise I’m gone” you assure.

“I know you’ll be fine, you’re strong, but I’ll need you here” he pouts as he leans back to look at up you.

Your heart builds and breaks for your poor boy. The two of you have been inseparable since you were ten, and now you’re leaving for a week…to negotiate with a new community…over ammunition. What could go wrong? You knew that Carl would be fine, he’d carry on with his duties, snapping at anyone who dare even look in his direction. He’d have to sleep in your shared bed alone for a week, not feeling your warmth or love, only the scent of your shampoo to comfort him. It both warms and shatters your heart that he’s like a puppy dog with separation anxiety.

With everything packed, plan organised, and group prepared, Carl walked you to the gates of Alexandria, carrying your bag for you - not dropping your hand for a single second. He only grips you tighter as you reach the gates. The group has opted to take horses instead of cars, so you’ll be on the road for at least a day. You give Carl a long hug and a loving kiss before mounting your horse (Carl being the gentleman he is, giving you both a leg up AND using his hat to cover your butt from any prying eyes as you get situated).

You can see the tension in him rising; his jaw is clenched tight and he’s stood stiff. He only moves when his dad tells him to get the gate. He waves you off as you leave and you blow him a kiss, smiling to him before the group is out of sight. You carry him in your mind whilst the group makes it’s way over to Oceanside, Michonne keeps you company and talks all your worries away. She’s under no illusion about how Carl gets when you’re not around, she knows exactly why you’re on edge about it too. Needless to say, she puts your mind at ease and reminds you that you’ll be back before long and you can take your pretty boy somewhere quiet and smooch the living daylights out of him. You smile at Michonne’s little jokes, thinking to yourself that her idea is actually quite preferable.

The ride to Oceanside takes the entirety of the day and by the time you arrive, everyone is exhausted. There were a few small herds of walkers on the way and the forests were littered with who knows what. The horses were well behaved, and you were grateful for having remained seated whilst wading through all that sludgy dead stuff. The girls at Oceanside help you put the horses away for the night and your group is informed that negotiations start in the morning, bright and early. Fantastic…not.

The next four days go as planned. Negotiations are going well and appear to be fair on both sides, tensions haven’t risen as of yet and the atmosphere is one of mutual respect. In this moment, you commend Rick on his decision to send an all-girls negotiation team that had Michonne at its wheel. Very smart decision. This was actually getting somewhere, for once. Although, even with things going better than anticipated, your heart ached and missed the boy you’ve left back at home.

The remaining few days pass agonisingly slow, you’re unable to rip your thoughts from what Carl might be up to. Usually, he’d have today off and he’d play with Judith at home. He’d try his best to make her breakfast and subsequently fail, he’d clean each of your boots of any mud that clung to them over the previous week (taking extra care to get the forest floor mulch out of the grips on the underside of yours, knowing how you hate to feel that under your feet), he’d read a comic or two, he’d do all of this with you. You wonder if he’s done any of this today…or has he picked up another shift from his dad to keep himself busy? He must be going insane…just like you are.

Michonne snaps you from your thoughts yet again, reminding you that the group travels back home tomorrow morning. Finally! You smile over your shoulder at her and imagine Carl’s cute happy face when he sees that you’re home, safe. You slept that night, eager to wake up and go. Nothing motivated you more than your boy.

The ride back home was the same as it had been on the journey heading out, mucky. A walker had spooked one of the younger horses and caused the others to become skittish. After dealing with the drama that had amassed, the group had to high-tail it to a more open position so nothing else went awry. Frustratingly, this would take longer to get back home. You decide to dismount and walk along the group for a while, dealing with walkers before they became an issue, doing your best to get back home on time. Nothing would stop you getting home on time to see him. Once cleared, you re-mounted and lead the group home.

The light was dwindling as the group approached the familiar gates of home. You’re surprised as they open before you even reach them. Michonne whistles for the group to pick up the pace and everyone rushes over. You barely make it inside and off your horse before Carl is pulling you into a bear hug. He must have been on watch all day waiting for you; he’s barely holding himself up, leaning on you almost entirely.

Rick snaps you both back to reality insisting that there needs to be a debrief, the council needs to be aware of what’s happened and what was decided. Understanding the importance of what he’s said, but still not wanting to leave your boyfriend, you plant a kiss on Carl’s cheek and head on over to the church with the rest of the group, ready to spill the beans to Rick about what a wonderful holiday you’d all had away…not.

As you’re climbing the porch steps of the church, you hear Carl’s footsteps behind you. You’d know them anywhere… to your surprise, he doesn’t cling to you or whisk you away. Instead, he places his hat on your head and turns to walk off, presumably heading home. Carl is EXTREMELY precious about who can touch his hat. He’s got so possessive over it that he even dislikes Rick touching it unnecessarily – and it used to be his! Nowadays, if Carl isn’t wearing it, and it’s not hung on the bedpost on his side – it’s on your head.

This act of placing his hat on you and darting off isn’t something new that your boyfriend does. He’s been doing this for a while…it started about the same time Lori died….now you think about it. He’ll get so stressed with what’s going on, with no outlet for his emotions…and some frustrating circumstances will forbid him from seeing you immediately so you can help him through it, so he’ll put his hat on you instead and run off to a quiet corner, waiting for you to come and return it to him. As you always do. This occasion would be no different.

Over time, this little ritual of his has become situational, sometimes he needs your help, other times he just wants your attention and needs to reserve your next available moment before someone else snatches you up. Even the group have come to recognise this as an indicator of Carl reserving your time. No one ever mentions it, but everyone gives you those small smiles as if to say that they know and they won’t take up too much more of your time.

Once debriefed, Rick double checks that you’re okay, making reference to you being covered in walker blood and forest mulch. You laugh slightly and assure him that you’re perfectly fine, better now you’re home. He commends you on how helpful you were during the negotiation, having heard from Michonne that you were invaluable to ensuring a fair deal. You smile at him and thank him for his words, feeling a sense of accomplishment – knowing that you’d done your best by those who do their best by you. Finally, you’re dismissed.

Your feet carry you quickly back home, taking you up the porch steps leaving muddy footprints as you go. You remind yourself to leave your boots by the door, Michonne would kill you if you tracked dirt through the house, plus she’d make you clean it – not fun. After your boots are off, you race through the house, noticing that only the lamps are on, no ceiling lights…interesting. You prefer the lamps, it’s better for your eyes, but only one person knows this. Carl. You take yourself up the stairs, poking your nose through Judith’s door, seeing her fast asleep. Perfect.

You turn to your shared bedroom door, opening it to see Carl, waiting on the bed – sat exactly as he had been whilst you were packing to leave, picking at his callouses nervously. You enter and shut the door behind you, Carl standing up and meeting you on that side of the room. This time, you pull him into a hug, tightening your arms around his waist, pressing your nose into his shoulder. Carl wastes no time in reciprocating – pulling you close, relishing in the feeling of your body against his.

“I missed you” he breathes out, his voice a shaky whisper.

You feel his body begin to tremble where he’s standing. You soothingly run your hands over his back, reminding him that you’re both here and safe – and that he’s in your arms. His trembling wanes but doesn’t cease…he’s barely keeping it together.

“Sit back down for me, Pretty boy, let’s get comfy, hm?” you calmly suggest, Carl letting you lead him back over to the bed.

This time, you set him down so that his back is against the headboard, over the covers. You climb up on the other side and get situated before opening your arms to him, letting him wrap himself around you and get comfortable. He leans his head into your neck and shoulder, entangling his legs with your own, clinging to you for dear life as you run your fingers through his hair and trail your nails gently down his arm in small patterns. He’s still trebling as you wrap him up in the small throw blanket that was hooked over your bedpost – which reminds you that you’re still wearing his hat!

You take one of your hands away from soothing your boyfriend to reach for the hat on your head, wanting to place it back in it’s rightful spot on Carl’s side, but just as you reach away to put it back, your boyfriend stops you.

“N-no, keep it on. I need you right now…” he worriedly speaks out.

You know in an instant what he means, he wants you to be his strength – he wants you to be the source of his comfort. He wants you to hold him, to care for him, to shower him with love, and to stay here…returning his hat means you’ll leave sooner – return to your duties or let something else consume your time. You wouldn’t let that happen, not whilst he’s like this, so you leave his hat on your head and bring him back in close.

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere now.” You reassure him, your hands automatically going back to comfort your boy.

He doesn’t ask about the negotiation, you don’t ask about his time spent here over the last week. You both just savour this moment. You relish having your boyfriend so close, heart breaking over the fact he’s so messed up about having missed you so much. Your only job now is to comfort him, and to stay with him.

As the patterns you trace onto Carl’s arms and back start to regulate him, you bring your other hand up to sweep the hair from his face, feeling him let out an eventual sigh of relief at finally being able to relax, accepting that you’re back with him. You place kisses to his forehead and the top of his hair, spending as much time here as he needs. He moves slightly more into the centre of your chest, placing his ear against you, the sound of your heartbeat creating a calming rhythm for him to listen to as he drifts off in your arms.

“I’ve got you, Precious boy. It’s okay…I’m here, we’re safe.” You whisper, continuing your movements along his arms and back.

As he drops to sleep, you take a second to look over his face properly, his freckled face is tear stained and his eye has a dark grey semi-circle below it…he must have barely slept over this last week. You knew that your absence would be difficult for him, but you’re torn apart at seeing him like this. He’s always so strong around the group – especially his dad – but he’s a nervous wreck underneath it all.

You don’t stop loving up on him whilst he sleeps, somehow you feel as though he ‘d notice if you stopped and he’d wake up. You need him to get some rest so that you can talk about what’s happened when he’s more stable. You can’t deal with the idea that he’s been suffering this badly whilst you’ve been away. No wonder he raced to you so quickly when you got back. You kiss the top of his hair once more before letting yourself drift off with him, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

You wake up what must have been a few hours later, Carl still exactly where he was – sound asleep. The only issue is that your leg has fallen asleep beneath you. You try your best to move it out of the warm entanglement you’ve got yourself into, but regardless of how slowly you’re moving, Carl wakes up.

“Whe-where’re you going?” he panics again.

“Nowhere, Angel, my leg is asleep.” You smile back at him, cupping his cheek with your hand.

He lets out another relieved sigh before adjusting so that you can move your leg, feeling the pins and needles as it comes back to you. You wonder if now is the right time to ask Carl about what happened whilst you were gone, or would it just upset him more? You decide to bite the bullet, eager to know if you can ease his pain.

“What happened whilst I was away Carl?” you whisper to him, feeling him shift at your question.

“I- I uh…I’m better now.” He replies shyly, hiding his face against you.

“I know you are now, what happened whilst I was away?”

Carl takes a minute before responding, likely wondering if he can get away with waving most of his struggles off, deciding it was no use and you’d find out anyway – he swallows his pride and fills you in on his week.

“I couldn’t sleep so I took some extra watch shifts, but I got so tired and passed out when I came home. I got so panicked when I woke up and you weren’t here… your boots were gone, your gun was gone, your side of the bed was empty, you didn’t leave a note. I was so scared – I ran downstairs and dad stopped me, reminding me where you were. That was maybe…day three, I’m not sure.” He rambles out.

Your heart breaks; shattering everywhere, shards of it attacking your other organs, taking you out piece by piece. Carl had been here, having panic attacks about you being gone, working himself into the ground to try and distract himself… and you couldn’t do anything about it as it was happening. You weren’t there for him.

“Carl…”

“I just missed you,” he begins, his voice shaking again “so much.”

You cup his face with your hands and bring his lips to meet yours, hoping to express your love for him through your affection. He kisses you back eagerly, seemingly having forgotten how nice you feel. You spend time kissing him – small, romantic kisses that convey nothing but love, adoration, and tenderness. You pull away to test your foreheads together, closing your eyes.

“I missed you too.”

The remainder of the night was spend whispering sweet nothings to each other and cuddling close in the other’s warmth. You managed to get Carl into some more comfortable clothes so he could sleep and you’d taken off your clothes from your long day of travel, deciding to deal with that specific pile of laundry in the morning. With Carl cuddling up to you, under the sheets this time, your shared world seems to be at peace. You speak to Carl about the possibilities of the future, setting up a comic date with him outside the walls in a few days’ time. Life was liveable again, now you’re home. Now you’re with Carl again.

All Rights Reserved ©thesilvertheorist 2025

DO NOT REPOST

reblogs welcome <3

[cuubism]

AO3 Wrapped (author's edition)

tagged by @five-and-dimes :)

Fics posted this year!

Webs (Silly Rabbit AU)

The Kiss of Death (Hob/Death 1389)

bliss, for a time (Dreamling light dom/sub)

mind & heart, body & soul (Malec, final chapter)

Morphology (Dreamling eldritch smut)

Rock Paper Scissors (Hob playing the oldest game)

Computation (Math AU)

Blush (Retired Dream)

all this is metaphor (Touch starved Dream)

not made small (Hope/Morpheus reverse AU)

these physical trappings (Trans Hob)

the same page (Ace Dream)

some kind of eulogy (suicidal Dream, epistolary)

sword and shield (Hob gets 'killed' protecting Dream)

finding your voice (Trans Dream)

Unravel (Dreamling Shibari)

Imaginary Numbers (Math AU, Hob centric)

Protective (Dreamling hospital proposal)

Calculations (Math AU, disordered eating)

Stormy Weather (soft Dreamling moment)

Hope for the Future (Patron Saint addendum)

home for the season (Hope/Morpheus, depression fic)

In Search of Nightingales, several chapters (Bookstore Cryptid Dream)

Besieged (Prince Dream/Knight Hob smut)

finger painting (physical therapy fic)

Assumptions (Ace Dream v. 2)

Night Games (royalty kink smut in the Dreaming)

Made in an Instant (Wish pregnancy fic)

the melting press of the sun, a few chapters (2022 meeting divergence)

wherever you go, there you are (modern AU getting back together)

here for a reason (a meeting on Richmond Green)

Predictive Modeling (Math AU, panic attacks)

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder (Dreamling 80s Stockbroker/Musician AU)

business school (Corporate Warprize AU)

Normal (Retired Dream sickfic)

for your punishment (Thief Hob steals Dream's ruby)

Covetous (Sex as a reward fic)

Burnout (Dreamling burnout fic)

Freedom (repressed Dream and fairytale bandit Hob)

save a horse, ride an equestrian (Olympic equestrian AU)

Do It Scared (Dream with anxiety)

Stats of 2024

Works Published: 41

Work Subscriptions: 2,213

Kudos: 16,151

Comment Threads: 2,967

Bookmarks: 3,775

Hits: 153,895

Word Count: 277,822

Top 3 fics of 2024 by kudos:

mind & heart, body & soul

the melting press of the sun

In Search of Nightingales

Top 3 fics of 2024 by word count:

mind & heart, body & soul

In Search of Nightingales

Made in an Instant

Top 3 ships of 2024:

Dreamling, Malec, and, surprise entry, Hob x Death

Top 5 tags of 2024:

Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, AU - Human, Established Relationship, Oral Sex ... wow lmao. Really sums it up

I doubt I'm supposed to tag anyone else now that it's 2025 LOL. ah well

[tooquirkytolose]

I'm not a bitch in sheep's clothing I'm a sheep in bitch clothing, I'm a nervous chihuaha(shaking and trembling) I'm a horse with a lame leg(farmer John is taking me out back with shotgun in hand) I'm a cheetah in an enclosure(I need my therapy dog next to me or I will die of anxiety) I'm an obese cat(funny looking)

[lahooozaherr]

What Was I Made For?

~A Short Series~

[Masterlist]

Please note: This blog stands with Palestine. If you are interacting with my account and TLOU related posts, I ask that you PLEASE visit these links. Be critical and mindful while partaking in TLOU content and be aware that creator Neil Druckmann is a Zionist.

Pairing: Jackson!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Rating: Starting T, Eventual E

MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS PLEASE DNI. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Synopsis: After finding a map to a rumored safe place in Jackson, you escape your QZ in Denver in search of it. Surviving by yourself is brutal and wears you down. When you’re finally close to your destination, you collapse from exhaustion. On their morning patrol, Joel and Tommy find you unconscious and frozen in the snow. They act fast in saving you, Joel carrying you back to Jackson. You form a bond with Joel through your recovery, relating over your grief and anxiety together. Eventually, Tommy offers you a job of helping do basic care for the patrol horses in the mornings, acting as sort of therapy and another way to regularly see Joel. Your feelings blossom for each other.

Warnings: fem reader, soft! Joel, themes/discussions of mental health (anxiety, grief, ptsd), probably tooth rotting fluff, discussions of loss/child loss (not super detailed), references to the book “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy, comfort, sort of horse therapy, eventual smut, no physical description, no age specified, Joel carries reader 1 time, I’ll add more if necessary but also each part will be specifically tagged.

A/N: Oh heyyyy I started writing this and I’m determined to finish it. It was originally a one shot but it ended up but being enough where I figured I’ll just make it a short series. Maybe a little self indulgent? Maybe specific? I’m kinda unsure but today’s my birthday so I decided I still want to share it anyways. The title is absolutely inspired by the song by Billie Eilish. I saw a Joel edit to the song before seeing the Barbie Movie and I still think of him when I hear it. “The Road” also makes me think of him (apocalypse, father and child, grief). I’m going to research actual horse therapy but please don’t take this as super accurate representation. I also made a playlist lol. Sort of playing fast and loose with canon, sorry I haven’t played the second game. This is set a few months after Joel and Ellie settle back in Jackson.

My Masterlist | My AO3 | My Taglist

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Credit for photos in banner: Christophe Hohler (top row art), “Original Love” by Marijana Rakicevic (bottom right art).