#Horse Therapy For Anxiety | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writtenonreceipts · 1 year ago

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a/n: Bonus points if you can point out where one of my (many) mental breakdowns occurs. She’s a bit of a disaster. I literally don’t know where this came from…

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas @aelinschild! Written as part of the @rowaelinscourt secret santa exchange. Thanks for putting up with me and my myriad of asks. It’s been wonderful to get to know you these last few weeks! <3<3<3<3

Find the companion Elorcan piece here! Set just a few months before the main events of this story.

AO3 Link here

Warnings: nothing major, non-explicit/passing mentions of trauma/abuse, very brief mention of drugs ~25k words

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Until the Dust Settles

A golden sun set behind the Oakwald Mountains, casting long shadows across the long stretch of land that made up Whitethorn Ranch. The acres were a makeup of subtle rills and hills where horses could run for ages and the flatter earth where a decent sized garden yielded a fair amount for the farmers market in the spring and summer.

The land had been in Rowan Whitethorn’s family for over one hundred years—it was the only home he’d ever known. He’d grown up racing horses through the vast fields or spending winter chasing down animals that had gotten loose in a storm. He would admit that sometimes it was a hard life to live—the constant work, the fear for the animal’s safety. But it certainly had its benefits.

The spring and summer that actually made the land worth having. Not only because there in the farther outreaches of the countryside, things seemed untouched by society—which really was the only thing worth mentioning. But it also allowed for the most tourism and when most people came to visit that ranch.

For nearly twenty years now, Whitethorn Ranch was mostly known for its outreach program for troubled teens. When kids needed time away from home where it was for depression, anxiety, trauma, misbehavior—they came to the ranch.

It had started ages ago when Rowan’s great-grandfather came to own the land and took on the runaways who were escaping bad situations. His great-grandparents accepted anyone who came by the ranch as their own and the attitude extended through the generations. By the time Rowan’s father gained the land, things had turned to be more professional.

The ranch used a mix of therapy modems and simple outreach to help those who needed it. They offered day visits for schools, riding lessons, even month-long visits and stays for extreme cases. It was careful water to tread sometimes. Recently, Rowan had been more conscious about making sure the kids who came felt safe and wanted. He never accepted anyone who was forced to come, unless he could talk to the kid first. Even then, he knew that help only helped when someone actually wanted it.

But now as Rowan stared over the golden horizon, he wondered how anyone could turn a sight like this down.

He tightened Goldryn’s reins and clicked his tongue, directing the horse back to the stables. It had been a long day of checkouts and clean up. This late in the fall, most people only came by for tours or field trips. Business wouldn’t pick back up until May at least.

For now, the ranch would rely on its usual borders. There were a few families that owned horses but didn’t have the land to keep them, so Rowan rented out stalls and charged for care. It kept him busy enough in the slower months. Him and Lorcan, his best friend from college, made things work though. It had taken a great deal of convincing to get Lorcan to come out here, but the grumpy bastard enjoyed being outside and this job presented plenty of opportunity.

It certainly helped that Lorcan had recently started dating Elide Lochan, who was a staple to the small town. And Rowan had to admit—they were good together.

As he rode down a worn path along the paddock fence, Rowan could see a shape waiting for him in the distance. He grimaced. There was only one person that would be so intent on talking to him.

He slowed Goldryn to a trot, knowing he couldn’t avoid the inevitable.

Leaning against a fence post with her arms crossed and golden blonde hair hanging in loose curls was Aelin Galathynius. Brilliant, beautiful, and a pain in his ass. She had come to the ranch almost six months ago after graduating from a top university specializing in trauma. She was exactly what he needed for what he was trying to accomplish here and exactly the right person to drive him insane.

Rowan pulled Goldryn to a stop at the fence gate and stared down at Aelin. Her cold blue eyes stared right back up. She’d long since traded her fancy clothes and high heels out for jeans and t-shirts. She even wore a baseball cap on occasion. And yet the change of close did nothing to diminish her looks.

“I need to talk to you,” she said. She didn’t flinch when Goldryn stamped her feet with a loud snort. Another thing Aelin had improved upon, not being jumpy around the animals. Though, she did eye the mare with a bit of distrust.

“It’s outside of my office hours,” he replied. “Try again tomorrow.”

Aelin scowled at him. It was the same excuse she used on him when he needed to talk to her, he didn’t see why she should be so upset to have it thrown back in her face.

“That’s what you said yesterday,” she said.

“I know what I said.” He adjusted his hold on the reins and shrugged. “It’s been a busy few days.”

He jumped off of Goldryn’s back, landing in the earth with a soft thump. He could just as easily have Aelin open the gate for him, but he was convinced she would have tried to scratch his eyes out if he’d asked. Keeping one hand in the reins, Rowan unlatched the gate and swung it open towards him. Goldryn snorted again, huffing as she backed up a few feet to make room.

Aelin too had taken a step back but she didn’t go far. She was several inches shorter than he was, even in the boots she wore, but still taller than the average woman. She had a lean, athletic build Rowan had seen put to good use. When some of the kids got restless on their extended stays she would workout with them, go for runs, turn hay bales, the whole nine-yards. She wasn’t weak by any means.

“What do you need, princess?” he asked as he led Goldryn through the gate, locking the paddock again behind him. He kept himself between Aelin and the horse, mostly because he knew she still wasn’t comfortable around the larger animals and even he wasn’t that cruel.

Still, Aelin almost stalked off right then. Rowan could see it in her eyes, the tilt of her chin. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she had. Hell, he’d never met anyone as stubborn as Aelin Galathynius. Not even one of his horses had as much attitude.

But he knew she needed something and even though it killed her, she uncrossed her arms and kept pace with him as he set off toward the stables.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said flatly. She flicked her hair over one shoulder as she kept her steps purposeful, even when she stepped in a small hole and nearly went careening forward.

Rowan tried to reach out and steady her as he kept Goldryn reined in, but Aelin waved him off. She straightened herself out and got on even footing before she continued to scowl at the ground. She’d always been like that too—refusing help and insisting she could manage things on her own. She was damned near worse than Farasha.

“Easy,” he said. He was talking to the horse, who was yanking on the reins a bit too hard. Aelin of course would never miss an opportunity to glare at him.

It was a shame they hated each other; Rowan decided. Because try as he might, he couldn’t ignore the fact that she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. Between her blue eyes, the golden waves of hair, the mischievous tilt of her lips—he’d be a fool not to acknowledge it. But Aelin was also impossibly stubborn. She fought him on everything. She was opinionated. She was selfish. She was—

“I want you to open up another week for kids to come and stay over Christmas and New Years,” Aelin said. She adjusted the yellow and black flannel she wore, eyes straight forward.

She was going to drive him to an early grave.

It was Rowan’s turn to stumble as he spun to look at her. “You what?”

Goldryn snorted, pulling on the reins again. Oh she was mad at him. They were a few minutes late to dinner now and she knew it. Damn horse.

“An extra week for kids to come stay over the holidays,” Aelin repeated. She didn’t flinch from the way he turned his own glare on her, only kept walking with that insufferable tilt to her chin.

“Why?” he asked.

Christmas—any of the holidays this time of year really—always made for a quieter time on the ranch. People were more content to stay at home and put off their problems a little longer. It wasn’t until after that people realized how much they hated their circumstances. Even then, they didn’t seek out his ranch for anything more than daily horse rides. Nothing to actually problem solve.

“It’s a hard time of year for kids,” Aelin said.

They reached the stables and she helped slide the great door open. Immediately, the heating system blasted them with a warm gush of air accompanied by the scent of hay, manure, and feed. It was a scent Rowan had grown used to and, strange as it was, he took comfort in.

Rowan handed Goldryn off to one of the stable hands who took the mare to her stall. Turning to Aelin, Rowan crossed his arms over his chest, taking her in. She had a fiery determination about her and he knew he wouldn’t be able to brush her off easily.

“Open up an extra week so these kids can have a safe place to come,” Aelin insisted. “There’s a program with the city—”

“Please, Aelin, I know what that means,” he said, already walking away. She could trail him and make her case if it was so important. “I won’t actually get paid for the extra costs. The city pretends to take care of all the funding but doesn’t actually give me what I need.”

“I’ll take care of it all,” Aelin said, indeed following right after him as he moved to the feed barrels. She even managed to dodge the droppings from the lone pig that wandered the stables. “I’ll keep up the communications with the program. I know the director, she’s not a flake.”

Rowan had heard things like this before. Sellene had tried to get him to take state funding before too, all that resulted in was mounds of paperwork and audits.

He opened the feed barrels and started scooping portions into waiting buckets that would go to the various horse stalls. Aelin took one of the buckets as soon as it was filled, her manicured fingers wrapping around the handle.

“The Cavarre Foundation wants to help kids,” Aelin continued. She grabbed another bucket. “They’ve already got a list of kids they can send over.”

“Then they can wait til after the holidays,” Rowan said.

He hefted his own buckets and went to the first stall. A yearling named Quinn was already waiting for his feed. His owners were aiming for the colt to be a stallion and show for congress. Quinn had a bit too much attitude to take to that sort of training, he’d be better as a rodeo horse or in the fields, but Rowan wasn’t being paid for that commentary.

“Watch it buddy,” Rowan warned the colt as he opened the stall and eased toward the trough in the corner. Quinn nickered and pranced a bit, but ultimately didn’t give him any issues.

Aelin waited outside the stall, the tension in her body obvious. She should just go and catch up with him later. He would have suggested it too if she didn’t immediately start talking again.

“What if their home lives aren’t the best? These kids have been selected from a few of the foster homes in the area and recommended by psychiatrists that this would be a beneficial healing opportunity.” Aelin dodged around a worker moving hay, this time landing one foot in a pile of pig dung. She didn’t flinch. “Isn’t that what this ranch is about?”

No it wasn’t.

Rowan opened the door of Hessina’s stall. The mare was pregnant, due in late February, and had to be the sweetest horse he actually owned. Rowan offered her a nose rub that she eagerly accepted.

“Are you even listening to me?” Aelin asked as Rowan closed the stall again.

“Hard not to when you won’t shut up,” he muttered. He couldn’t tell if she’d heard him or not--her scowl remained perfectly etched on her face and she betrayed nothing as she walked with him to the next two stalls.

It didn’t take long to get most of the horses fed and ensure they had plenty of water. The night wasn’t set to get too cold, so they wouldn’t bring out the blankets. The heating system worked well enough to keep things warm but not freezing and these horses were all conditioned and bred for the chilly winter weather as it was.

By the time Rowan was ready to head back to the main house it had almost darkened completely outside. Another long day done only for it to continue tomorrow and the day after. He’d only been officially running the ranch for five years and he was ready to be done with it.

After making sure everything was set for the night, and checking in with the shift leader, Rowan decided he could leave everything as it was. Lorcan would be in tomorrow to do a once over. As the lead stable manager, he oversaw the functioning of the workers and the horses. He even did a bit of training on the horses. Not that Lorcan would ever admit to doing so.

“You still here?” Rowan said to Aelin as he headed back to the cold night. It was a twenty-minute walk, but the weather had been decent enough that he hadn’t wanted to bother with his car.

“You never gave me an answer,” she said.

They walked across the long drive that led straight to the main house. The road wasn’t paved, only gravel packed dirt that wound it’s way around the property. When kids were staying in the cabins, Aelin had a room designated for her in the house, but she usually just went back into town where she rented an apartment. As far as he knew, she was still planning on leaving when they reached her car.

“I already told you no,” he said.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make; opening the ranch up for a week. Especially over the holidays. He knew that Lorcan didn’t care about this time of year and there were a few ranch hands that wouldn’t mind the extra time to work. But if the city program never paid him, he could never pay for the extra work. And while he knew he could handle the work on his own if necessary…well, Rowan just didn’t see the point of approving this.

“It’s a lot to take on without much warning,” he added, before Aelin could rise up in a defensive retort. “Give me a day, alright?”

They finally reached the main house with its large wrap-around porch, the whitewashed wood, and three-story windows. His cousin was probably inside already cooking up a meal that she’d filmed for her Instagram page. It was the kind of house for a family, for someone with more to their name than Rowan did. Sometimes he really hated coming home.

Aelin car, a small two-door Audi, waited from where she’d parked it that morning. Rowan would be very interested to know how she planned on getting around once the snow started.

“I’ll take on any extra work you need,” she said, “cooking, cleaning, I’ll care for horses—”

“You hate the horses,” he said.

Her mouth twisted to the side. “I’ll do what I need to do. Please, Rowan. I think this would be a really good opportunity.”

Rowan didn’t know what surprised him more: the fact that she said please or used his first name. He made the mistake of meeting her gaze, the gold undertones of the blue bright in the porch lights. Shaking his head, Rowan muttered a curse.

“I’ll let you know in the morning,” he told her.

Aelin nodded once. “Thank-you.”

It was the most civil they’d been to each other in a long time. Usually their exchanges ended in accusations, shouting, and name calling. Aelin too seemed caught off guard by it. She stepped back, digging for her keys in her pocket. She nodded again before returning to her car.

Rowan remained outside as she made a quick U-turn in the large gravel drive. She disappeared into the night quietly, the taillights soon lost as she curved down a bend in the road.

“Dammit,” he muttered.

Rowan already knew the answer he would have to give Aelin. It was one he’d have to give his entire staff. And he knew no one was going to like it. Come new year he was going to sell the ranch to someone new. And just like that the legacy his family had left him would be gone.

…

As she drove down the highway into town, Aelin found herself wringing the steering wheel of the car while imagining it was Rowan Whitethorn’s neck. She knew, she knew, he was going to tell her no. He would text her first thing in the morning and tell her that her request would be denied. That the thing she actually cared about wouldn’t see the light of day.

He was a bastard.

She’d known it from the first day she’d met him so many months ago.

It was her first full day in Oakwald, having left everything behind in Terrasen, and she was ready to start anew. She’d expected things to be hard. But she hadn’t expected Rowan Whitethorn to look at her with such contempt and tell her that she really had no business being there in the first place. As if he hadn’t hired her just a week ago to fill a vacancy in his staff.

Not to mention the look he’d given her clothes, her car, everything about her was some big cosmic joke.

Aelin sighed and turned off the highway to the bar where her one real friend worked.

Her little Audi was out of place among the trucks and SUVs. She just needed to make it another two weeks without any bad weather and she’d have access to her new car. Locking up, she hurried into the bar, already relishing the warmth awaiting.

In the span of one minute, the cold November air nearly sucked the life out of her. The bar was a welcome reprieve as it was always kept at a decent heat. Even with the scent of cigarette smoke lingering in the air, it had a comforting air about it.

Aelin went to the counter and slipped into a stool right next to Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Seriously?” he growled at her with a malicious side eye.

“It's the best of both worlds,” Aelin said with a cheeky smile. “You don’t like sharing your girlfriend, but she’s my best friend. You still can talk to her and freely ignore me.”

Lorcan was not impressed by the explanation. Back in the city, Aelin would have done everything in her power to avoid a man like him. He was massive with long black hair and enough scars to indicate bad news. His leather jacket strained with his broad shoulders and thick muscles. And while Aelin would admit she had a thing for guys of a certain physique there was something dark about Lorcan that she couldn’t explain. Which made it all the more surprising that he and Elide had started dating.

“Hey, Aelin!” Elide appeared from the swinging doors that led to the kitchen, carrying a tray of appetizers for another table.

“Hey!” Aelin called back.

Just a few months ago, Elide had told her about the confession she’d overheard where Lorcan admitted his feelings for her. It had led to a heated kiss and a night that Elide said was the best of her life. It was the only explanation Aelin needed or wanted. She was glad her friend was happy, even if it was with Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Glad to see you’re still grumpy as ever,” Aelin told Lorcan. She snagged a few pretzels in one of the many bowls set up along the bar. She’d long gotten over her germ contamination worries.

Lorcan grunted and sipped his beer. Aelin rolled her eyes.

“You’re just like Whitethorn,” she said.

Another grunt. Well, it was better than utter ignorance she supposed.

Elide appeared a minute later. She leaned against the counter and raised a brow.

“Wow, you actually chose to sit next to Lorcan,” she said, “I’m proud of you.”

“I figured it would be better than making the old man upset that you would choose me over him to talk to,” Aelin explained. “Besides, I think he’s warming up to me.”

Lorcan cut her a look that only had her grinning.

Elide snorted a laugh. “Yeah, besties the two of you. What would you like to drink?”

“Just a coke,” Aelin said, “I should get home soon.”

“Coke and mozzarella sticks coming up,” Elide said with a wink. She glanced at Lorcan. “Babe?”

Lorcan stared at his girlfriend for a long moment before registering what she said. The corner of his mouth picked up in a smile and he shook his head.

“Nah, I’m good.”

Elide only smiled fondly as she got Aelin her coke and went to put in an order for mozzarella sticks.

It was strange to Aelin just how enmeshed she’d gotten into this small town just in the past few months since arriving. She never thought she’d find a place to belong more than in Terrasen, but there was something about Oakwald that she couldn’t deny enjoying. It certainly helped that she and Elide had become such quick friends.

But really, Aelin was glad to be out of Terrasen. She needed a new start. A new life. Here, no one knew her history, her parents, anything beyond the fact that she was the new therapist on Whitethorn Ranch. And she liked it that way.

Elide returned a minute later, her thick black hair piled in a new bun atop her head. She often worked doubles all week long without much time for herself, let alone to date anyone. But Aelin had learned a long time ago that Elide was as good as they came. She worked hard, cared harder, and was one of the most genuine individuals she’d ever met.

“How was the ranch?” Elide asked. She set another beer on the bar for Lorcan without his needing to ask for it.

“Good,” Aelin said, “it’s been slowing down. But if Whitethorn wouldn’t be such an ass, it would pick up. I pitched him my idea for the extra week over the holidays. He’s just going to say no, though.” Beside her, Lorcan made a noise. She shot him a glare. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, “it doesn’t matter.”

He looked up when the bar door opened and a few of his friends came in. He rapped his knuckles on the counter before standing to go join them.

Aelin looked back to Elide. “How can you like him?”

“Because I do,” Elide said simply. She leaned across the counter with a sigh. “I’m sure Rowan will approve your idea. It’s a good one and he knows it’s what his ranch is for. Take him the numbers and notes you came up with. He can’t say no to concrete evidence.”

Aelin nodded absently. When she’d come to Oakwald it had been in part to get away from Terrasen. But it had also been a beckoning call from her cousin and his wife.

Lysandra Cavarre-Ashryver had been a close friend of Aelin’s for years when they’d grown up together in Terrasen. They’d lost contact when Lysandra’s foster family took her across the country. Aelin too had lost contact with her cousin after a series of messy family drama. It was only after Aelin’s…accident a few years ago that they’d slowly reconnected.

And to be honest ever since talking with Lysandra and Aedion again, Aelin had slowly started feeling like herself. It had only taken six years.

“I just…I really think it’s a good plan, especially for those kids,” she said. This entire thing was the only thing keeping her afloat right now. A job that gave her purpose, a chance to reunite with her cousin…it was better than being left with the reality of potentially going back to Terrasen.

Aelin shuddered at the thought and sipped her coke. The carbonation danced on her tongue as she swallowed.

“He’s going to say yes,” Elide said. She gave Aelin another look of assurance before going back to the kitchen to check on orders.

Aelin didn’t know what to think. Elide had to be on her side, that’s what friends did. But Elide was also not the kind to cling to false hope.

“Yeah,” she said to herself. She had to believe that this would go right. Because the alternative…well she didn’t want to think about that.

…

“What do you mean no?” Aelin asked.

She stared across the desk at Rowan who looked utterly passive as he sat in his chair, fingers steepled before him.

They were in the office of the main house where most of the “on paper” business of the ranch was taken care of. Aelin had spent a bit of time here over the last several months. Mostly to force Rowan to listen to her on a subject. And just like all the other times before it was proving to be hostile and unproductive.

The office was simple in decoration with only a few framed pictures of Rowan’s dad, granddad, and great-granddad, a few knick-knacks on the shelves, and medals and certificates of recognition that the ranch had received over the years for various horses that had made nationals and other such things.

Aelin didn’t like the room very much. The rest of the house had a homey feel, but she believed that was because Sellene lived on site while she went to school at the local community college and hosted an online cooking show with Instagram. It was Sellene that added the feminine touch to the main concourses. Rowan hardly seemed like the domestic type. If things were his way the entire house would be empty save for a display of guns.

“I mean no,” Rowan said. He didn’t even look apologetic as he delivered the news. “It’s too much work for the ranch in this season. Most of the workers are already leaving until things pick up in the spring. And if you can’t guarantee payment then I’m not putting in the risk.”

She pulled out the binder she’d curated with Lysandra and dropped it on the desk with a thunk.

“I have the costs and benefits listed, what the program will offer in payment before and after, they have releases all lined up, the programs director is willing to come down and help with whatever is needed supervision wise for the kids.” Aelin flipped the binder open to the different graphs and spreadsheets. “If you’d just look it over.”

She was trying desperately to keep her voice even, to keep from shaking and revealing too much, but Aelin could feel a familiar sense of panic rising within her. This was happening. He was going to turn her down and she would be left with the solid evidence that she couldn’t even do something as simple as start a therapeutic program on her own.

“Aelin,” Rowan said. He leaned across the desk and placed a hand on the open binder. He didn’t even bother to look at the pages of carefully crafted data. Instead, his stupid green eyes bore into her with what Aelin could only describe as pity.

The bastard was pitying her?

She slid the binder away from him, protective of it and all the work she’d put into its contents.

“Fine,” she said. She shouldn’t have been surprised. In the last seven months of knowing him, he had always been cold and heartless. The kind of person that Aelin should have known better than getting into business with. He wasn’t any better than—

“I have three conditions,” Rowan said suddenly.

Aelin snapped her eyes back to his. He couldn’t really mean—

“First, you’ll be expected to pick up extra slack from the workers who already have approved time off for the holiday,” Rowan said, “and you’ll have to convince Lorcan to work over time.”

Aelin blinked at him. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached?”

“Well, I doubt you’re going to get Lorcan to help.” Rowan shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He paused as if considering what his next words would be. “He doesn’t like helping people very much.”

“I know he doesn’t like me,” Aelin said, her body still thrumming with excitement. “No need to sugar coat it. What was your third condition?”

Rowan adjusted the cuff of his shirt. “The program director needs to have at least a quarter of the payment to me by tomorrow afternoon.”

“She can have it to you by today,” Aelin said automatically. She knew that just like her, Lysandra had been waiting for an opportunity like this to come along and had made sure she had sufficient funding all lined up. Plus, there was Aedion who would go to hell and back if it meant getting Lysandra something she wanted.

Rowan didn’t seem convinced that her words held much weight but he only nodded. “Alright. Then from the twenty third to January second you’re in charge.”

“Deal. Done.” Aelin agreed automatically. She would have given him the twenty in her wallet and her library card if it would make a difference. Which it should. Her library card was worth gold.

Despite his agreement, displeasure was plain to see on Rowan’s face. He still didn’t like this plan. Well he could just suck it up. By the time Aelin was through and was able to execute all the ideas she had—he would see. This was going to be a brilliant idea, one that could easily become a new tradition for the ranch.

He held out a hand toward her and Aelin stared. Did he want to shake on this?

“The binder,” he said, one silver brow raised.

Aelin felt a bit of heat rise in her cheeks, but she forced it back. This binder was her baby. Quite literally the thing that had pulled her through her master’s program, and hopefully to a doctorate.

“You’re going to be mean to her,” she said.

“It’s a binder.”

“It’s my child.”

Rowan’s lips parted in surprise. Well, it wasn’t the first time she’d caught him off guard. It was his turn to stare at her, those green eyes boring into her with such intensity Aelin would have thought he could actually see into her soul.

“I need to know what you’re going to put my ranch through,” he said.

Aelin pursed her lips. She knew she’d have to relent, but handing over the binder felt like handing over a piece of her and she didn’t think she was ready for that. Rowan’s hand still wanted expectantly and she glanced down at it. His palm was upturned and she could see the roughhewn calluses on his fingers and knuckles. His skin was clean though, the nails neatly trimmed and no dirt tucked in the nail beds. She’d never quite realized just how big Rowan actually was, in all these months. And here he was holding out a hand to her and all she could do was stare.

Like a maniac.

She dropped the binder into his hand. He barely twitched.

“I’ll just wait to hear from your…friend?” he asked.

“Lysandra Cavarre,” Aelin said. Technically Lysandra Ashryver, but Aelin really didn’t want to go into the complications of last names and what they meant. She’d made it this far without any association to her past, she could keep it up a while longer.

“Lysandra,” Rowan repeated, committing the name to memory. He nodded and accepted the binder onto his desk. “I’ll leave you to it then. You’ve got a lot of work to do if you think Lorcan’s going to agree to this easily.”

“Oh, he’s even more of a bastard than you,” Aelin replied quickly. She smiled as sweetly as she would if she were talking with someone she liked. “But I’m best friends with his girlfriend.”

With that, Aelin rose from her seat, collecting her bag as she went. When she reached the door, she turned back and smiled again.

“You won’t regret this.”

Just as she was pulling the door of his office shut behind her, she could have sworn she heard the soft murmur: Mala save me.

Aelin smirked to herself as she walked back through the house. If she was adding just a little bit of extra misery to Rowans day, she didn’t suppose that would be an issue. The grumpy buzzard deserved it.

She passed the kitchen where Sellene was sitting at the counter, a pile of books for school in front of her. Pausing, Aelin rerouted to just say hi to the Whitethorn cousin.

Sellene, a few years older than Aelin’s twenty-five, had always been a staple of the ranch. Even when she was doing her schooling, she’d taken time off to help raise her younger brother Endymion after their parents passed, she was almost always at the ranch. Now that Endymion had gone to his own college of choice, Sellene was now able to pursue her own desires.

“Hey, Sel,” Aelin greeted. She went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

“Hey Aelin,” Sellene said. “Rowan giving you a hard time?”

“Has he always been so cranky?” Aelin asked. She sighed and leaned against the counter as she rested her elbows on the granite.

Across from her, Sellene chuckled. “I guess you could say that. Just be glad he likes you.”

“Please.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “He hates me.”

“If he hated you, do you think he’d keep you around?” Sellene raised a brow in question. “He’s an ass, but he knows you work hard.”

Aelin wasn’t so sure of that. Really, she was convinced the only reason Rowan didn’t kick her off the ranch was because there were no other options for therapists to come out into the area. It had only taken half a day for Rowan to call her in for an interview when she’d first applied. The job offer came the next day.

“Whatever you say,” Aelin said. “You want to help me piss him off even more?”

Sellene sighed. “I would love to, unfortunately I am going to be headed out to visit Endymion during his break. It’s harder for him to leave his job.”

Aelin shouldn’t have been surprised. In the few months she’d been a part of the homestead she’d learned quickly that the Whitethorn cousins were a tight knit group. Still, it would have been fun to pit Sellene against Rowan at least for a little bit.

“That’ll be fun,” she said. “I’m sure he misses you.”

“Oh, I plan on embarrassing him to no end,” Sellene replied seriously. “He’s eighteen and thinks he’s the smartest person alive. The boy’s gotta learn some humility.”

Aelin snorted a laugh. Honestly, it was the same thing her own cousin would have said about her.

Sellene shut down her computer sighed. “But I am going to miss this place. It’s always the best being here during the holidays. It’ll be weird not to see it all.”

It was a strange sentiment to share and Aelin didn’t quite know how to respond. But she didn’t have time to ask about it. It was already getting late in the day and she needed to call Elide to enlist her help. And then tell Lysandra to send a deposit Rowan’s direction.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Aelin said, she’d have time to get more information from Sellene later.

“Yeah, good luck, Aelin,” Sellene said, smiling softly.

Aelin offered a wave before she hurried out of the house, phone in hand.

It only rang once before Elide answered.

“Elide?” she asked. “I need your help.”

…

For some reason, Rowan had thought that Aelin wouldn’t succeed in meeting the three conditions he’d set out for her. Because, really, how would she be able to convince Lorcan of all people to work over time?

He supposed this was his first lesson in not underestimating her because not half an hour after Aelin left his office the morning, he’d approved the project then he got a call from one Lysandra Cavarre asking for routing information that she could send money to.

By the end of the day, he’d gotten a text from Lorcan.

Your girlfriend’s a menace.

Rowan had stared at the message for entirely too long.

Not my girlfriend.

Lorcan’s brief response said more than anything else could: right.

The brief exchange caught Rowan off guard. Not only for the fact that Lorcan didn’t insult Aelin, but the mere idea of calling her his girlfriend. She was the bane of his existence. In the entirety of her time on the ranch she’d demanded change, created chaos, and riled him up with all her little remarks.

Aelin Galathynius sought to drive him insane. Even when he tried to return the favor, nothing he did seemed enough to deter her. She only rose to the challenge. He guessed he could respect her for that.

Three days after striking the deal with Aelin, Rowan woke early, as he usually did, and headed to the stables. They still had two weeks of preparation before the holidays but there was still plenty to do.

Rowan dressed quickly before heading to the kitchen where Sellene had left a smoothie and protein bar in the fridge for him. When there were kids or other guests staying in the cabins, there was a bigger fanfare made for breakfast. For now, this was usually what he got. He’d much prefer making his own food, but he always appreciated the effort from Sellene.

He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl as well and headed out to his truck. It was barely four-thirty in the morning but that was the life he’d set out for himself. He’d barely made it down the deck stairs when he noticed the other car sitting in the drive next to his.

Aelin was leaning against the side of her tiny car, wearing a large flannel and jeans tucked into a pair of boots. In her hands she held two thermoses.

“What?” She called out to him. “Did you sleep in?”

Rowan crossed the yard toward her. “The sun isn’t even up.”

“Yeah, I hate it.” She took a long sip from one of the thermos’ before thrusting the other at him. “Here. Black like your soul.”

Rowan stared at the thermos for a minute before he accepted it. “Thanks?”

The morning was dark, not even the horizon had started lighting, yet Rowan could still see the amusement playing in Aelin’s eyes as she watched him. Her hair hung in a long braid over one shoulder, a few tendrils escaped around her temples. She didn’t wear any makeup and still there was something so striking about the way she looked.

“It’s not poisoned,” she prompted.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a sip of the coffee. It was strong and bitter, just as he liked.

“You said I’d need to help pick up the slack,” she said, following him as he walked to his truck. “So here I am.”

If he were being honest, Rowan was surprised. Aelin had never stuck him as the type to do manual labor. Or really work for that matter. Her wealth and status had been obvious the first time he’d met her. Then there was the car, the designer clothes, the manicures. When he’d hired her, all he’d received were glowing referrals. Another surprise. Even now he was still trying to reconcile his initial impressions of her to who she really was.

“Here you are,” Rowan agreed. He gave her another once over, unable to help but notice the curve of her hips beneath the open flannel. Dammit.

Shaking his head, he unlocked the truck. He could practically hear his mother yelling at him for not opening Aelin’s door for her, but his hands were full. Besides, Aelin didn’t seem to notice. She hopped up into the front seat. Her movements were graceful and easy as though she’d done so a hundred times before.

Rowan settled into his own seat and started the truck up. There was a small layer of frost on the windshield waiting for them. His least favorite part of the day was waiting for the heater to get into gear and finally warm up.

“Are you always up so early?” Aelin asked suddenly. She was huddled in her seat, staving off the chill which was the only thing about the early hour that seemed to be bothering her.

“Yeah,” Rowan said. “Unless Lorcan’s going to be in early. But I told him to take the later shift until he comes in for your event.”

Aelin hummed at that as she took a long sip of her own coffee. “Interesting. You should get more sleep. It’s good for you.”

“I’m in the wrong business for that, princess,” he muttered.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said. She cut him a glare, her lip curling slightly.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because.” Another sip of her coffee.

Rowan said nothing and tried clearing the windshield. It cleared well enough. He at least wouldn’t be out on the open road, so a few skiffs of remaining ice weren’t the end of the world. Putting the truck in gear, he backed up a bit before turning.

“Are you always such a morning person?” he asked as they headed down the long drive.

“Hell no.” Aelin made a face. “If I had it my way I wouldn’t get out of bed until noon. This is my second round of coffee. Do you have any idea how much I am not looking forward to today? It’s going to be miserable. The worst. I hate mornings.”

She spoke with such vehemence that Rowan wondered if there really was a way for morning to be such a real entity for someone to hate. It was also amusing, especially the way her nose crinkled in disgust.

“It’s a beautiful morning,” he said, clearing his throat. “You can’t hate that.”

“It’s pitch black and I can see my breath,” she deadpanned. Sighing she adjusted in her seat. “C’mon, buzzard, you wouldn’t rather be in bed still? All warm and snuggled up?”

“No,” he said.

Aelin chuckled in that nonsense sort of way she had. “Hmm, right. Even you have to admit a lazy morning in is fun. With the right company.”

Rowan stared staunchly forward. Though, he could still see that insufferable grin of Aelin’s out of the corner of his eye.

“Ignoring me now?” she pressed.

The sight of the stables had never been more glorious.

“No, you’re just impossible.”

“Thank-you.”

Rowan parked the truck in its usual spot and tried hard not to smile. He settled with an eye roll.

“Let’s go buzzard,” Aelin said. She threw the door open and hopped out of the truck. “Show me the ropes.”

If there was one thing Rowan knew to be true—it was going to be a long day. Though as he clambered out of the truck himself, the thought didn’t seem as heavy as it once may have been.

…

In the end, the day wasn’t bad. In fact, things ran far smoother than Rowan had been expecting. He’d thought that by having Aelin shadowing him things would go a lot slower and he’d have trouble getting everything done, but she was a ready student.

She handled feed buckets with ease, tied perfect knots on the first try, she even mucked stalls without complaint. If Rowan didn’t know any better, he’d have said she’d spent time in a barn before. A lot of time. She seemed to know her way around the equipment, knew the terms, and sometimes reacted before he even needed to give instruction.

When he tried to ask her about it, she told him he was insane.

It wasn’t the first time someone had lied to him, but he figured it wasn’t worth trying to needle the information out of her.

The routine continued for the rest of the week. Aelin would be at the ranch first thing in the morning with coffee and they’d work all day together until dinner when they’d return to the main house.

“You know you still have a room in the house, right?” Rowan asked one morning. “You don’t have to do this back and forth.”

“Oh,” Aelin looked out her window as they passed familiar pastures. “I guess…I figured you wouldn’t want me there? Sellene’s gone and all, why not have the place to yourself?”

It was true, Rowan often enjoyed his time alone unless he went into town to have a drink with Lorcan, Fenrys, and Connall. A recluse, Aelin had called him on occasion.

The strange thing about it was…Rowan didn’t think he would have minded Aelin being around more. She drove him mad, more often than not, but even in the last few weeks (days really) there had been a subtle shift. One that he didn’t know how to identify.

“Your friend is coming with the new group of kids, right?” Shifting the conversation seemed the safer option so he didn’t hesitate.

“She and her husband,” Aelin agreed, he didn’t miss the look she gave him. “They were planning on staying at the house, if that’s still alright?”

“Yeah, we’ve got plenty of space,” Rowan said. The house was enormous with five separate rooms and four bathrooms. His great-grandfather had always wanted a home to welcome as many guests as possible so new additions were added on continuously in the early years. His own parents had hoped to keep the house full of children. In the end, it was only Rowan who waged war upon the floorboards.

Aelin nodded absently, her fingers drumming on her thermos absently. “I’ll come up with them and stay the week before and during.”

“Alright,” Rowan said. The drive to the stables that morning was the same as ever with only another light dusting of snow falling from the sky. As late December encroached, it wouldn’t surprise him if they were due for a storm.

“They’ll be coming tomorrow, I think,” Aelin said, “Lys and Aedion.”

Rowan started. “Aedion Ashryver?”

In her seat, Aelin visibly flinched. She covered it almost seamlessly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat up a little straighter.

“He’s an ass,” Aelin told him. “Though, very good looking.”

Rowan could only stare. The Ashryvers were practically celebrities in the world of horses and ranch work. Evalin and her sister Andra made waves when they were young for their work in showing horses, not just in contemporary riding, but racing, and rodeo. They’d set a standard for those that would come after as they changed the equestrian world for years to come.

He didn’t know much of what had happened to either woman after they’d aged out. Only that they continued to run a ranch out in the countryside of Terrasen for breeding and training. He knew there had been a scandal of some sort five or six years ago involving a rider and a trainer, but the story evaded him.

When they got to the stables, Lorcan’s own truck was already there and he’d turned on the floodlights to help beckon in the rising dawn. They were still a week out from when the Christmas group of kids would come, so Lorcan shouldn’t have even been there.

Rowan glanced at Aelin who didn’t seem the least bit surprised at the sight.

“How did you get him to agree to this?” Rowan asked.

“I can be very convincing,” Aelin replied simply. “And Elide.”

Not sure he wanted to know the full details in that, Rowan let the rest of the conversation drop.

As always, Lorcan remained in his quiet way. He went about his usual duties without comment, only nodding in acknowledgment as Rowan and Aelin entered the stables.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping in?” Rowan asked. He rested his keys on the rack beside the doors, not yet ready to take off his coat to the morning chill.

“Couldn’t,” Lorcan replied with a shrug. He nodded to Aelin. “Regretting your choices yet?”

“Nope.” Aelin smiled brightly. She took a long sip of her coffee and went to the row of shelves reserved for personal items.

Lorcan shot Rowan a look that he ignored. They’d had plenty of conversations about Aelin and the week she had planned for the holiday. Besides, if Lorcan couldn’t say no to Aelin (even if Elide wasn’t a factor) they were both idiots.

Knowing better than to try and tease Lorcan about how quickly he’d fallen for Elide, he crossed the stables to where his friend was working on preparing some equipment.

“What’ve you already taken care of?” He and Aelin had gotten a slightly late start for the day--a mix of him waking up late and the frost and Aelin needing to steal breakfast from him.

“Not much,” Lorcan admitted, “everything’s pretty much good. The vet’s coming around for check-ups this afternoon.”

“Do you know how the cabins are looking?”

Lorcan shrugged. “Probably about the same as when the last group left.”

That shouldn’t have surprised him. “We’ll go take a look then come back to help prep for the vet visit.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said. He glanced to where Aelin was kneeling before the ranch pig, dubbed Ex because it had been Endymion’s turn to pick a name. The finalists of names fell between Frank and Excali-wilbur and Endymion did not disappoint. “Have you told her yet?”

Rowan scowled. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said, scraping off a bit of dirt from an old bridle set. “Keep telling yourself that.”

The words sat heavy with Rowan the rest of the day. He knew that Lorcan just liked screwing with him on occasion. But there was also a part of him that worried if there was truth to Lorcan’s ominous words. He really didn’t see what it mattered though--whether he was going to sell the ranch or not was his own business.

He really didn’t see what the difference was if he continued to owned the ranch or not. Sellene and Endymion hadn’t expressed any in taking the land over for themselves and they were the only living relatives Rowan knew about. Theirs were the only opinions that mattered.

Still, by the time he and Aelin finished getting the cabins ready for the guests in the coming weeks, he couldn’t help but feel a niggling sense of guilt. He kept tamping it down of course.

It wasn’t until mid-day that the vet came around that Rowan was finally able to turn his thoughts in different directions. They had two pregnant mares in the stables that year which was the biggest concern Rowan had. They’d both foaled before but there was still plenty of room for things to go wrong. Besides them, there were six other horses to be looked over. It was usually a two-day affair, especially when weather got a little dodgy, but the vet seemed confident they’d finish up by the end of the day.

While the vet was in with Farasha, Rowan realized he hadn’t seen Aelin for a bit. He might have had his misgivings about her, but she’d proven herself to be responsible and attentive in all her recent duties. Even if she didn’t like horses.

Rowan glanced around the main floor of the stables before heading to the back stalls where the two pregnant mare’s were settled. It was the warmest part of the large barn with the largest stalls. His boots scuffed in a bit of hay as he went and he almost missed the soft voice talking to the horses.

Diana and Hessina, thankfully got along alright. Sometimes pregnant mares could get a little feisty with each other, but the two had been inseparable when they’d been born the same season almost six years ago now. Rowan remembered the day.

He stopped just outside Hessina’s stall and what he saw made him question just about everything he thought he knew.

Standing in Hessina’s stall with a set of brushes and other items was Aelin. She carefully ran a curry brush over Hessina’s coat in methodic movements. All the while she continued to talk softly to the mare.

“Alright, mama,” Aelin said, “let’s get you cleaned up. You deserve it don’t you? Especially before baby gets here, huh? Look at you so pretty standing here for me.”

For a minute, Rowan thought he’d wandered into an alternate reality. In all the months of her being on the ranch, Aelin had never approached one of the horses so willingly. She’d kept her distance from the barn and the animals beside the pig and the goats. He’d never have expected her to spend time with any of the horses, let alone grooming them. And doing so with obvious practice and ease.

“I thought you hated horses?” he found himself saying.

Aelin froze. It was the first time he’d ever caught her off guard.

“I never said that,” she replied. She traded out brushes and ran a shedding blade over Hessina next.

“You’ve never spent more than a minute with any of the horses in all the time you’ve been here,” Rowan said.

He entered the stall and grabbed a brush to use on Hessina’s mane. Somehow, no matter what he or any of the stable hands tried, the long hair always got tangled even if they were careful to brush it the day before.

“That doesn’t mean I hate them,” Aelin said. Her voice was soft, lilting in that way she’d used when she was addressing Hessina specifically. “Not when they’re such pretty girls.”

Her long fingers ran over Hessina’s sides, pausing over the swell of the mare’s belly. It seemed as though she knew exactly how to handle a horse. Or at least where to massage a pregnant mare’s muscles effectively or how to run a flat brush over the coat to leave it gleaming. Truth be told, he’d never seen Hessina looked as relaxed as she did now under Aelin’s ministrations. No matter what Aelin said, she was a natural.

Rowan tugged at Hessina’s mane with as much care as he could. But he noted the twitch of her ears.

“Sorry,” he murmured, knowing he’d pulled too hard. He glanced back to Aelin. “Seriously, you’ve never spent this much time with the horses before. You know how to care for them. And you can make a decent knot. I thought you were a city girl?”

Aelin shrugged, walking to Hessina’s other side. “I am a city girl.”

“No.” Rowan shook his head. “There’s more to you than that.”

They stood across from each other now, more or less. And Aelin wouldn’t meet his gaze as she brushed out Hessina’s other side. Her lips thinned and Rowan knew she was thinking deeply on something.

“I used to read all the horse books I could,” she finally said, “made my mom buy them all for me. I had a whole bookshelf devoted to them. And then I grew up.”

Her hands paused, fingers grazing over a few stray bits of Hessina’s mane. A stray thought took her mind far away from that place. Far enough that she stopped brushing entirely. Hessina took offense to that and nickered, dipping her head back towards Aelin.

Chuckling, Aelin reached out and scratched the mare’s nose before she continued brushing.

“What about you, Whitethorn,” she asked, blue eyes sparking with delight as she finally looked at him. “Were you always in a horse boy phase or did it come suddenly?”

He rolled his eyes. “I grew up on this ranch, it’s all I know.”

Aelin paused at his words. She looked as though she wanted to something, but the words were lost on her. Instead, she shook her head and nodded at his work.

“You’re making that worse, aren’t you?”

“No,” he said defensively.

No matter what he said though, Aelin came over to take a look at the work he was doing on the mane.

“A girl’s pride is in her hair,” she said, whether to him or Hessina, Rowan had no idea.

He could only watch as Aelin took over detangling and brushing. Her hands were soft as she tugged and brushed. Occasionally she would murmur something and give the mare an affectionate pat on the neck.

What he didn’t notice was how close he and Aelin were standing, not at first. But the second he realized it; it was all he could think about. He could feel the warmth radiating off of her and he could still smell the lemon verbena of her shampoo in her hair. Even with the bit of sweat and dirt that lingered on her skin.

There was something about watching the methodical way she worked that was mesmerizing. Nothing seemed to frustrate her as she went even when something didn’t detangle immediately or if she had to make a bigger mess in order to get things right. She would only hum under her breath and continue.

“Do you—” she began to speak and spun almost directly into him. She made a small noise of surprise and stumbled just a bit before Rowan reached out to steady her. “Hell. Sorry.”

She blinked up at him with those bright blue eyes and he noticed a ring of gold around the pupils adding to that light that always seemed to illuminate her.

Gripping her arms, he waited until she regained her footing before slowly pulling away.

“You good?”

Aelin nodded; mouth parted slightly as though she were about to say something.

The illusion shattered when Lorcan called out from the main stable.

“Whitethorn, get out here!”

It was probably better that way—for Rowan to leave Aelin there. She turned back to Hessina and kept talking with those soft words and gentle inflections. Whatever spell had been over them was long gone. Though that was for the better. Rowan didn’t need to get close to Aelin. Not now.

So, he tried to forget about the last ten minutes and went to help Lorcan with whatever it was he needed.

…

When she was eighteen, Aelin had her first serious crush.

It was different than all the other little sparks she’d ever gotten before. It was different, new, and completely reckless. Oh, she’d never acted on it, not exactly. And maybe it was better that way. Because in the coming year (and several years after) Aelin would come to realize that boys, men, would never treat her well. Especially not the ones that had country written into their bones.

So when she came to Whitethorn ranch at the beginning of the summer, she’d told herself it was for the experience. It was for the work she loved. It was for the kids who needed help.

And then there was Rowan.

They’d clashed the entirety of their working relationship and Aelin really didn’t know how she’d lasted as long as she did. And here she was now, on the brink December and the New Year right around the corner.

She sighed and straightened the small room designated for her at the main house. Rowan had let her off for the two days leading up to the main camp days when Lysandra and Aedion would be arriving.

The room was the next biggest aside from the master suite that Rowan slept in. With its own bathroom and the large window that overlooked the back western side of the ranch with the mountains in the distance—Aelin loved it.

It was already decorated with a few things of the Whitethorn family. A few black and white photos from the early days, hand embroidery frames, and a few porcelain figures in the inlaid shelving. It was simple and homey and for whatever reason, Aelin didn’t feel the need to change anything. Except for the piles of books and a few pictures of her own family.

As she straightened things up, and prepared the bedroom across the hall for Lys and Aedion, she couldn’t help but think of the last few days with Rowan.

She didn’t know how it was possible, but they hadn’t killed each other. There weren’t even any attempts. Sure, their words held just as many barbs as before, but it felt different. Or maybe she was just hoping there was something different.

For as much as she complained about how small Oakwald was and how difficult working on the ranch and the therapy work here was--she wanted to make this home. She wanted this to be a place she could put down roots. Here, no one knew her past. No one knew who her family was. No one knew every little detail about who she was other than simple being Aelin.

Her phone started ringing at the same time a series of honks echoed from the front of the house. Grinning, Aelin answered the phone already knowing who was on the other line.

“Are you here?” she demanded.

“Bitch, what do you think?” Lysandra said on the other line. In the background Aelin could hear Aedion: stop honking the horn, Lys. She knows.

“I’ll be down in a second,” Aelin chuckled.

She flew from her room and down the stairs of the house. She barely bothered with the slippers waiting by the front door before she threw the front door open.

The SUV hadn’t even come to a full stop before the passenger door opened and Lysandra got out. Her long dark hair hung loose and she wore a simple gray sweater and jeans. She screamed when she saw Aelin and ran across the yard toward her.

Aelin met her halfway, pulling her friend into a hug.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Lysandra was saying as she continued to hug Aelin. “It’s been so boring without you.”

“I’m sorry I left you alone with Aedion,” Aelin teased. She pulled back, grinning.

Aedion huffed as he came around the SUV. His blond hair, so similar to Aelin’s, long enough to just barely fit into a low tie, his handsome features slightly distorted with a scowl.

“I love you too, Aelin,” he said, trying and failing to hold his disapproving look.

Aelin launched herself at her cousin. It had been a while since they’d seen each other between work and distance. But she was grateful he had chosen to come and help both her and Lys.

“You do love me,” she insisted, “I introduced you to your wife, after all.”

Aedion pulled back with a roll of his eyes. “Yes, I’m forever in your debt.”

“I know,” Aelin said seriously. She then turned and linked arms with Lysandra. “C’mon, I’ve got a room ready for you.”

Her friend didn’t immediately follow through, instead turning in the cold morning air, taking in the sweeping blue skies and acres and acres of land surrounding them.

“Seriously, Aelin, where are we? This feels like a step out of time.”

She’d thought the same thing when first arriving. “It’s better in summer and you're not freezing your butt off.”

Indeed, during the winter the sun could be out and bright and happy like it was now, but it was still cold enough to want to literally crawl into a fireplace and never come back out like some sort of dragon.

Aedion offered to get the bags, letting Aelin and Lysandra head up to the house.

“So,” Lysandra said as they went to the kitchen. “Where’s Rowan?”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “He’s at the stables finishing things up.”

“But he’ll be here later?” Lysandra pressed; one brow raised.

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been sleeping under the same roof and nothing’s happened?” Lysandra scoffed and accepted a proffered glass of water.

“Please, Lys, he’s my boss. And an ass.” Aelin turned to find snacks or something else to offer while her cheeks flushed at Lysandra’s words.

“Mm-hm,” Lysandra hummed with obvious doubt. “I’ve looked him up, he’s hot.”

“Lysandra!” Aelin spun on her friend who let out a cackle.

“You should see your face,” Lysandra laughed. “You know I’m right.”

“He’s made my life miserable,” Aelin said, “and, like I said, he’s an ass.”

“Right.” Lysandra merely sipped her water and sighed. “You keep saying that.”

Much to Aelin’s appreciation, Aedion entered the house, bags in hand. She left Lysandra in the kitchen and showed Aedion to the room she’d set up for the two of them. It was the one room just a little more isolated than the others, but that just made it feel a little cozier. Which she didn’t think they’d mind.

From there, the rest of the day was relatively nice. Even with Lysandra’s continued teasing about Rowan. Thankfully, she kept most of it up when Aedion wasn’t around.

Aelin gave them a tour of the house and immediate grounds before heading out to the cabins reserved for the kids that would be arriving in the next several days.

She and Lysandra were able to go over the various activities and group sessions and plan out where each would take place and how transport would work. Thankfully, the main house was a good central point and should the weather stay nice, walking wouldn’t be an issue.

“There’s supposed to be a storm,” Aelin said at one point, “but they’ve been saying it would happen for two weeks now, and nothing. I think it’ll just hit Denver and move on.”

That was the hope. But Aelin wouldn’t let herself worry about a snow storm right now. They had a contingency plan in place, but the weather had been cooperating thus far that she doubted it would be an issue.

Later that night as they were fixing dinner, Aedion broke out his excellent cooking skills with a chicken and vegetable skillet, Rowan finally returned home.

“Welcome back, Buzzard!” Aelin called when she heard the door open and shut. She also heard the way he paused while trying to decide if he could get out of being social. “We just made dinner, come join us.”

Lysandra shot her a look, but Aelin ignored it. Instead, she got an extra plate ready as Rowan slowly trudged into the kitchen.

“This is Lysandra and Aedion,” Aelin said, “Lys founded the group that we’re hosting next week. And her husband, Aedion, is the muscle.”

She didn’t know why she didn’t mention that Aedion was her cousin, but the admission just felt off. Aelin had spent so long distancing herself from her mother’s name and the attention that it got that it just felt natural not to bring it up. Besides, that wasn’t the point of this visit or the event they’d worked so hard on.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rowan said, he didn’t smile, but Aelin supposed him joining them all for dinner was good enough.

“We’re just running through the week,” Aelin said. She handed him his plate which he accepted. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about with the itinerary I gave you?”

Rowan didn’t answer immediately. He settled in his seat next to her and took a bite of his food, thinking. Or just avoiding talking.

“Nah,” he said after a minute. “Everything looks fine. There’s going to be ten kids in total?”

“Maybe eight,” Lysandra spoke up, “it’s a little hard to get exact numbers right now. Some kids are being shuffled so close to the holidays and their guardians are being…difficult.” She made a disgruntled sort of face. “But I know for sure eight of them are ready to go. The other two we’re waiting on some consent forms.”

It wasn’t anything surprising to Aelin. But they would make the best of it and hopefully all the kids they’d planned for would come.

“There’s plenty of room no matter who chooses to come,” Rowan said, “so that’s not a problem.”

“You said you’re not going to be around on the Friday after Christmas though, right?” Aelin asked. He hadn’t told her why or what he was doing, just that there was business on the ranch that needed taking care of. She thought better than asking for more details especially when he was so guarded about the affair in general.

Rowan paused for a heartbeat in his ravenous eating and Aelin almost wouldn’t have noticed if not for the way his eyes skirted to hers and dipped away just as quickly.

“I’ve got a meeting planned most of the day,” he said, “but if anything goes wrong—”

“They’ll be fine.” Aedion spoke up with a wave of his hand. “If there’s anyone who knows how to embrace chaos to her advantage it’s Aelin.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, passing the water pitcher around the table. “I stole my dad’s truck once and it worked out fine.”

“I’m talking about the time you set off all those fireworks and nearly set the house on fire, but thanks for proving my point.” Aedion grinned at her glare.

Rowan only shook his head from beside her. “What the hell kind of childhood did you have?”

“Normal, perfectly normal.” Aelin said. Desperate to keep the conversation moving and away from any revelation of how she and Aedion were related, she kept talking. “Besides, none of that will be happening this week. I didn’t have time to find any fireworks.”

“Please,” Lysandra said, “you don’t even try not to cause problems. Remember in college you stole that frats keg?”

“Because Archer Finn plagiarized my report on Edgar Allen--you know, he was an ass that’s all that matters.” Aelin had done a lot of questionable things in the name of justice. But stealing that keg was damn near the top of the list considering the fact she nabbed it in the middle of the biggest party of the semester. Truly remarkable. “So it was less of a problem and more karma calling his name.”

“So,” Rowan said, glancing over at her, “you really have been a menace all these years?”

She should have been affronted by his teasing but with the way he was actually smiling with amusement burning in his eyes and the levity of the night—Aelin found she couldn’t be mad. Because here, for this small moment, Aelin wasn’t scared about what the future might hold.

…

Despite the teasing of her cousin and Lysandra, Aelin really did exist best in chaos. She wasn’t at all intimidated when the week officially started for the outreach program. She didn’t even have panicked stress dreams about it either. Everything had been planned out in detail. It was going to be a success.

And everything her friends had done to help make it possible just warmed Aelin all the more. Between all that Lysandra and Aedion did on their end, to Elide volunteering her days when she wasn’t needed at the bar, and Lorcan willfully helping out (through whatever bribery Elide had offered), everything started off without a hitch.

The thing about therapy that Aelin loved the most was the breakthroughs. The understanding that came with trauma and healing. It was often a long hard journey, but it happened. And when you worked with kids? It made the work all the better.

The week wouldn’t be focused on the talk therapy of it all though. Mostly they’d be going on hikes, cooking in the main house, learning about the horses and caring for them, and then a little of the therapy side. This week was about feeling safe and finding joy in an otherwise hard spot of life and Aelin was determined to help offer that bit of peace.

After all the kids arrived, twelve total and ranging from twelve to seventeen years old, everything continued as expected. The kids were paired off closer to their ages into the two different cabins and it all seemed to be working for the best.

Aelin found that two of the younger kids, Evangeline and Luca, were the more hesitant of being there. Despite Luca’s outgoing nature, Aelin could tell there was a bit of worry in his attitude as he always seemed to look to her for approval in any of the activities they did. Evangeline always sidled over to Lysandra. It wasn’t a strange occurrence, just one they needed to be careful with.

Though, if Aelin knew Lysandra like she did, her friend had done work with Evangeline before and was fiercely protective of her now.

“How many s’mores can these kids eat?” Rowan asked one night.

They were having an outdoor campfire with s’mores and other treats while Elide of all people told scary stories.

“Sugar is an essential food group, buzzard,” Aelin reminded him, “especially for teens.”

They stood just a bit away from the fire pit outside two of the cabins, just far enough away to not be distracting. It was Thursday meaning the week would officially finish out on Monday and the ranch would be able to return to its usual winter hours and day to day functions. Aelin was a little upset by the idea, but she was sure Rowan was as giddy as he could be over the prospect.

“I thought that was just you,” Rowan said.

Aelin kicked him with the toe of her boot. If her hands hadn’t been stuffed into the pockets of her coat, she might have flipped him off.

“Ha, ha,” she said.

“Seriously,” Rowan continued, “I’ve seen the stash you think you’re hiding in the kitchen.”

“Chocolate is good for the soul,” Aelin sniffed, “and I recommend the occasional indulgence as a therapist.”

Rowan shook his head, looking out over the fields behind them. A ghost of a smile fell across his lips and even in the flickering shadows of the fire, Aelin thought it was the most beautiful sight.

“Occasional indulgence, sure,” he murmured.

“We can’t all love kale as much as you do,” Aelin said. She’d seen what he came home with from the store. Kale and zucchini and any myriad of health foods.

He only smiled at her and Aelin felt it like a punch to the gut. She had no idea what had happened in the last few weeks, but somewhere along the way the loathing had simmered away to…appreciation? Admiration? Whatever the feeling was, she didn’t know where it came from, but it was here all the same.

“Thank-you for agreeing to this Rowan,” she said, before she could lose her nerve. “For agreeing to let us host this week and letting these kids come here. I know it’s not the most convenient thing. But I know it means a lot to them.”

And me, she added silently.

His smile fell just a touch. “Aelin—”

Whatever else he was about to say was swallowed up by Lysandra announcing it was time to head off to bed. The quiet contentment of the night disbanded as the kids all voiced their complaints and pleads for another story. Apparently Elide’s tales about bloodthirsty witches were all the rage.

But it was well nearing eleven and they’d all been up late enough as it was and Aelin herself was exhausted. They rounded everybody up and had them filter off to their cabins. Elide and Lorcan would serve as chaperones that night, giving Lysandra and Aedion a break.

Hopefully it would put a stop to a small issue growing between Luca and one of the other boys, Aelin didn’t know all the details as Luca refused to talk further about it, but she was worried nonetheless. And even if she wasn’t sure about the idea of Lorcan as a chaperone, Rowan assured her that he was surprisingly good with kids. Aelin decided she would trust Rowan on that front, and let the issue slide. For now.

…

Friday dawned dark and chilly. The sky was full of gray clouds that stretched as far as the eye could see. It made Aelin feel boxed in even if there was still just as much open air as before. But those clouds hung low and didn’t budge.

She tried to not let it bother her, it was bound to happen eventually. And in this area the weather was always changing. By the afternoon there would be a break in the clouds and the sun would return. Or else they’d just get a light skiff of snow.

The day was being treated as a small rest day, of sorts. The kids had helped cook breakfast for everyone, played a few games outside, and they were now headed out to the stables to help build a shed for the goats.

It was less of build and more of a supervision. If the kids wanted to help they could, if not, Aelin had it on good authority the goats enjoyed chasing people as a game. Plus, one of the stable hands that had volunteered to help out was a master sling-shot expert and could take the kids to the side of the barn to practice their skills (on non-living targets).

They got to the stables just after lunch and clean-up. This was going to fill most of the rest of the day and then lead into a few individual sessions with the kids. No one had mentioned that it was Christmas or anything of the sort and none of the kids seemed to be having any major issues. But Aelin wanted to have a chance to talk with them and see if this week had helped them at all. From what she could tell it hadn’t done any irreparable damage, but kids could be excellent at masking their emotions if they really wanted to.

As the building commenced, Aelin took note of Rowan’s truck outside the stables in its usual spot. Beside it was another car, a Tesla of all things. She’d thought Rowan was supposed to be in a business meeting, not at the stables.

She made sure the kids were all occupied doing what they were supposed to, or at least just having fun, before she walked over to where Lorcan was exchanging water for one of the troughs.

“Is Rowan here today?” she asked without preamble.

Lorcan raised a brow and leaned against the fence, balancing the empty blue water barrel beside him. “What?”

“Rowan,” she said, gesturing to his truck. “I didn’t think he would be on the property today.”

Looking away from her, Lorcan ran a hand over his jaw. It was obvious he was trying to decide what to say exactly and that made trepidation rise in Aelin’s throat.

“He’s here, I can’t tell you more than that though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Lorcan said, pushing off of the fence, “that you can talk to Rowan about it.”

He walked away then, leaving Aelin to mull over the words that she already didn’t like. She watched him trek back to the stables and a part of her expected to see Rowan walking out as though waiting for that exact moment.

It was foolish, she knew. Whatever worry was gnawing at her gut was unfounded and she didn’t need to get caught up on this.

Aelin forced herself back to where the kids were helping out with nails and plywood, a few had wandered off to stack crates together which the goats started climbing on with ease. She came to a stop beside Lysandra, stuffing her hands into her coat against another stiff breeze. The air smelled cold, if that could even be a scent. But she didn’t know how else to describe that stiff, clean sterility.

“What’s up?” Lysandra asked, leaning into her.

“Nothing,” Aelin replied, glancing one more time at the stables. “Nothing, it’s fine.”

Lysandra didn’t look convinced. She remained quiet though as she returned her attention out to the paddock of goats and kids.

Aelin did her best to try and pay attention to the kids and offer encouragement and commentary where needed, but her mind was elsewhere. Which, she knew was stupid. She shouldn’t be thinking about Rowan and what was going on with him and his “business meeting” if that’s what was really going on. And she shouldn’t even care whether or not it was for business. Right?

A part of her did care though. A part of her wondered what his meeting was about and why he hadn’t gone into detail about it with her. She knew they weren’t technically business partners, but she did a lot of work for him all the same. And the things that she did were specific to the business and therapy modem that Whitethorn ranch was known for. Shouldn’t she be at least a little involved?

Half an hour later, Aelin had almost completely distracted herself until she heard the sound of Rowan’s low voice. She spun towards it, already knowing what she would say to him. But the second she turned it wasn’t Rowan that caught her attention. It was the well-dressed man walking beside him.

Aelin felt her entire body seize up as a cold numbness swept through her. Static crackled in her ears and her mouth went dry.

Because there beside Rowan was the man who had ruined Aelin’s life.

With auburn hair hanging loose around his face and gray suit that never seemed to wrinkle or stain--Arobynn Hamel looked the same as the day Aelin last saw him. She still hadn’t been released from the hospital after the accident, still unsure if she’d be able to walk again, and still unsure what her life would look like. But she’d held on to hope. She’d held on long enough for him to come and place blame directly on her shoulders before sauntering away as though he couldn’t have cared less about what happened to her.

She’d been nineteen then. Nineteen and convinced that he was supposed to be the answer to all her problems. That was the thing about glorifying people when you were a kid, you never understood just what a dangerous game that was.

She tried reaching out for Lysandra, but her friend had entered the goat paddock to help hold a few boards in place. She was alone. Alone and watching the second Arobynn saw her. He immediately made a b-line towards her.

“Well, well,” Arobynn said as he approached. Just as he’d always been, he had that cold arrogance about him. It was the same sort of swagger than everyone in their circles had. The kind of money and stature, that he was better than everyone else around him. He had to be in his mid-thirties now. Though, he didn’t look it. He was just as handsome as ever. “Aelin. What a pleasant surprise.”

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. Swallow and look past that perfectly charming smile he wore. “Hamel. What are you doing here?”

Arobynn merely smiled, stretching his arms. “You don’t know? Rowan and I are in the midst of a business deal.”

Behind Arobynn, Rowan appeared. He looked just the same as he always did: brooding, stoic, and pissed to hell and back. His green eyes flicked between Aelin and Arobynn, scowl deepening.

Aelin felt the pit in her stomach grow and she swore she was going to vomit. She did her best to remain in control of her emotions as she looked at Rowan.

“What deal, Rowan?” she asked. Though, she already knew the answer, didn't she?

“I’m buying the land,” Arobynn answered before Rowan could. “I’ve been expanding my business, didn’t you know?”

No, she didn’t. Because Aelin had done everything in her power to avoid anything that had to do with Hamel in the last several years.

As though sensing her distress, Arobynn flashed another sharp smile. “I look forward to working with you again, Aelin. Just like old times, isn’t it?”

There was nothing she could say. She couldn’t trust herself not to yell or scream or cry or any combination of the three. That would be showing weakness. And she was not weak.

“I’ll have my attorney look over your offer,” Rowan said quietly, drawing Hamel’s attention again. “We’ll be in contact.”

“Good,” Arobynn said, “I’d rather see this done sooner than later. Whitethorn.”

Without any semblance of pleasantries, Arobynn left them and returned to his car. That stupid silver Tesla that looked like a box and had no business being out on a farm. For all Aelin cared it could go crash in a borough and get waylaid by hay and snow. It wasn’t until the car silently pulled away and back down that Aelin felt her own voice return.

“You’re selling?” It was more of an accusation than anything.

Rowan straightened; arms still crossed over his chest. “Yes.”

“Why?” At least her voice wasn’t shaking. At least she still sounded somewhat in control.

“Because I have to,” Rowan replied, but he looked away from her and Aelin knew that wasn’t the truth of it. “The why doesn’t even matter Aelin, you wouldn’t understand.”

A laugh escaped her. Of course she wouldn’t. Because she’d only been here a few short months, she wasn’t really a part of the life here or any of where the ranch had come from. But she’d still put her blood, sweat, and tears into the ranch. She’d wanted to see it succeed, that’s why Rowan had even hired her as a part time trauma specialist, wasn’t it?

“I know enough about this place,” she said, “it’s a staple of the community, of honest good work that no one else does, Rowan. I know that much. I understand that much. That it’s helped more people get unstuck from life than just about any other program I’ve seen.”

He only shook his head, hand running through his hair. The silver locks fell over his brow and for a moment, for one brief moment, Aelin thought she saw a part of him that she could reconcile with. A softer allusion of the hard contours that Rowan often displayed.

“My reasons are my own,” he said firmly. His eyes sparked with anger as he watched her. “And it doesn’t really matter beyond that. I can't keep doing this. And--why do you even care? It won’t even affect you that much. Hamel’s going to keep it as a horse ranch mostly, and agrees with the work going on. I don't think he'd change much. He obviously likes you, so you can do whatever you want.”

Aelin couldn’t hide her flinch. She tucked her arms around her middle more as an effort of protection and hiding than anything else. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, Aelin. You don’t need me here,” Rowan said, “this place will do well enough without me.”

“So you’re giving up?” She could only stare at him. This wasn’t the Rowan Whitethorn she’d come to know, the one that she fought with on a daily basis. This was someone else entirely.

“It’s none of your business, Aelin.”

“I’m a part of this ranch, aren’t I? I’ve been here for months, and for what?”

“I never asked you to stick around.” Rowan let out an exasperated huff.

“He’s not a good man, Rowan,” Aelin said. Most of the fight had gone out of her, replaced with dread and pain. “You don’t want him buying this land, your home.”

“He’s rich, what does it matter?” Rowan pressed. “He’ll be able to do more with this place than I ever could.”

Aelin could only shake her head. Yes, Arobynn was rich. Rich enough that he could whatever he wanted, consequences be damned. She tilted her head up just in time to catch a snowflake on her cheek. The small chill was electrifying on her hot skin. Slowly, more flakes continued to fall, fat and thick it looked like the forecast had finally chosen to be right.

“I can’t do this,” she finally said, “I’m going to check on the kids.”

She didn’t wait for Rowan to try and call her back. She didn’t realize until she was entering the goat paddock that she had wanted him to.

…

It wasn’t until later that night as the kids were eating that Aelin had a moment to talk with Lysandra. The snow had picked up and continued to fall throughout the afternoon driving them all inside, which after a week full of activities and being outside continually--it was a welcome break.

They were inside one of the cabins, pizza and soda spread out for the kids to enjoy. Almost everything about the day had gone well. If you didn’t count the Hamel matter. The distraction and reality of what her life was spiraling towards wasn’t the best way to head into individual sessions, but Aelin had learned long ago how to compartmentalize.

Now, she was able to feel a little more relaxed as she and Lysandra were able to sit back while the kids started a terrible round of UNO.

“He’s so lucky I didn’t see him,” Lysandra said around a mouthful of pizza. “I would have kicked him in the balls then dragged his ass around from the back of a tractor, you know I would’ve.”

“I know,” Aelin assured her.

She picked at her pizza, appetite long since gone. All she could think about was the fact that she’d seen and spoken with Hamel. And she’d survived it.

It was strange, being faced with a reality you thought was finally put behind you. But that was life, wasn’t it? You just kept learning the same lesson over and over again. She just wondered what she was supposed to learn this time around.

“Did he say anything to Rowan?” Lysandra asked. “Does Rowan know anything?”

“I hope not,” Aelin said. That would just be icing on the cake.

Her past was a mess as it was. Rehashing it and telling her side of things after someone had already been exposed to the lies of the story—well it wouldn’t do any good.

Still, Aelin didn’t want to think that Rowan knew about what had transpired. Or if he’d think any different about her over it. Most people did when they learned the truth and even if she was mad at him, Aelin didn’t think she could bear Rowan looking at her any different.

The story began back when she was sixteen. Sixteen and in the throes of series equestrian training. And she wasn’t the type to show in the dressage. Aelin was a competitive rider in barrel racing, jumping, and the grittier events. Her former trainer had just moved and who was to fill the position than Arobynn Hamel.

His methods were brutal and his words were cruel. But young as she was, Aelin could only see what he could make of her. And her parents had been none the wiser either.

Even after the drugs and borderline abuse.

Aelin shook off the memories. “It doesn’t matter if Rowan knows or not, does it? He isn’t going to stick around. He made that clear.”

“Are you going to stay,” Lysandra asked. Her voice was painfully soft and Aelin had a hard time meeting her friend’s eyes.

“No. I can’t…I can’t be around Hamel again, Lys.” Aelin set her uneaten pizza aside. “After everything…I thought I finally had a place, you know? That this was a good fit for me. Even if Rowan’s an ass and doesn’t like me. I liked the work.”

“Maybe if you talked—”

“No.” Aelin shook her head, cutting Lysandra off before she could even begin. “Rowan won’t talk it out. He’d just sell the place faster if it meant getting rid of me.”

Lysandra sighed. “I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.”

Aelin narrowed her eyes. “Whose side are you on?”

Lysandra didn’t answer, instead waving as Elide walked through the door, leaving a blistering trail of snow outside behind her.

“I hope it’s alright to stop by,” Elide said with a smile. She grabbed a piece of pizza and settled between Aelin and Lysandra. “Lorcan’s still finishing up at the stables.”

“Good,” Lysandra said, moving over so Elide had plenty of space. “We need to talk sense into Aelin.”

“I’m not a miracle worker, you know,” Elide replied. She grinned all the same and nudged Aelin’s leg with her foot. “What kind of sense are we talking?”

Aelin groaned, shaking her head. One of the counselors took a few of the kids to the other cabin to prepare for bed. It was nearing that time where they would all turn in. The growing storm outside made the night feel sleepy and dark. Not that Aelin minded. Sometimes a lazy night was just what she needed, especially when she could curl up with a book.

“Lysandra thinks I’m being too hard on Rowan for deciding to sell the ranch,” Aelin told Elide, careful about how loud she spoke. She didn’t want to risk upsetting the remaining kids or the other counselors.

Elide’s eyes widened at the news.

“You can’t tell—” Aelin said quickly. She shouldn’t have even told Lysandra about Rowan’s plans. Even if Lorcan already knew about Rowan’s decision, it was just in bad form for Aelin to be gossiping out it.

“I won’t,” Elide assured her. “I promise.”

What Aelin had done to deserve friends like Lysandra and Elide, she didn’t know. As she tugged on the end of her braid she didn’t know where to begin.

“I know I don’t really have a hand in this ranch or can’t tell him what to do,” Aelin said, “but I’ve put so much work into it that…”

Aelin let her words trail off. Did it really matter what she’d done? He obviously didn’t care enough to listen to her. She couldn’t care. She shouldn’t. Because in the end, she always came out alone.

She was going to tell her friends that she was fine and it didn’t matter when the shouting started from the other cabin.

Back at the main house, Rowan and Aedion were settling everything in for the night. After baking four giant pizzas for the kids (delivery drivers refused to drive all the way out to the ranch and the weather had taken a bit of a chilly turn) they settled in to watch the latest football game.

What he didn’t expect was for Aedion to strike up a conversation.

“You know,” Aedion said as a commercial break started, “I’ve never seen a place like this ranch before, it’s pretty remarkable what you’ve done.”

Rowan really didn’t know if that was true. All he’d done was come in after his grandparents and parents established everything for him. The last few years it felt like he’d barely been treading water. Until the last few months when Aelin had swept in with her binders and her plans and damned conspiratorial smile.

“I haven’t done much,” Rowan replied. Mostly kept everything afloat as best he could. “It’s mostly been Aelin bringing things back to life.”

It really was an apt description of the woman. She was vibrant in the way she approached everything she did. Never did she let anything pass by that was half-hearted or untended. Rather, she made sure it was taken care of properly. It was probably what made the fall season so successful. No…no probably about it, it was what made the season one of the best in several years.

“She does tend to do that, doesn't she?” Aedion laughed. “It’s annoying as hell, because then she thinks she’s always right. Which, I mean, technically she is always right, but she can’t know that. She’d be insufferable if we told her.”

Rowan shook his head in agreement. Though, if he thought about it, Aelin had enough confidence that even if she were wrong about something she would make things work in the end. She had the faith and the sheer force of will to see something accomplished that an obstacle was merely a stepping stone to what she wanted.

“So,” Rowan began, a thought occurring to him as he thought about his own understanding of Aelin. “How do you know Aelin? I never got that story?”

That earned him an amused look from Aedion who sat up straighter.

“She’s an Ashryver, you know,” Aedion said slowly, “as in Rhoe and Evalin Ashryver Galathyinius.”

Rowan froze at the pronouncement and slowly, painful understanding washed over him. “What?”

In the chair across from him, Aedion shook his head, blond hair falling in his face.

“Doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t know,” Aedion chuckled wryly. “She doesn’t use her mom’s name very much, considering...But yeah. Ashryver-Galathynius. We’re cousins, were raised together through just about anything. I was there in all of Aelin’s training when she really got into the horse scene. She was the national champion in racing and show three years in a row until the accident.”

Rowan could only stare blankly at Aedion. He didn’t know how he’d missed the similarities, hell, their eyes were even the same. Why wouldn’t Aelin say anything? Especially when he had given her so much crap about being a city girl. She could have shut him up without any effort.

Though, at Aedion’s mention of an accident, he remembered something vaguely happening in the world of showing and competition. That side of the horse world was something he’d never stayed completely caught up in. Especially not years ago when he’d been so busy with taking the ranch over.

“She was nineteen, it was going to be her fourth year in a row of winning that championship,” Aedion explained, “and she’d put herself through hell for it. She kept herself in the best shape, hardly ate. Was always training. Her trainer—” a sour look flashed over Aedion’s face— “her trainer wouldn’t leave well enough alone and always pushed her further than anyone should go, not at that age. It was never proven, but I’m pretty sure they slipped her drugs and the horse too because they were racing barrels which is Aelin’s best event and next thing you know the horse gets spooked and Aelin goes flying.”

Aedion paused, running a hand over his jaw as he stared into the fireplace. “It’s a miracle she wasn’t paralyzed. Or worse. Arobynn never even got a slap on the wrist for it.”

Rowan’s gut churned in a sickening way. “Arobynn Hamel?”

The dark look in Aedion’s eyes was answer enough.

Rowan remembered all the times in the last several months of how he’d berated Aelin for her lack of knowledge on a ranch, how she shied away from the horses. He’d accused her of so many things that he just hadn’t known about.

“She recovered eventually,” Aedion said, “but I don’t think she was ever the same. She never got on a horse again after that. But she volunteered a lot at various stables back in Terrasen or at those camps for kids with autism, y’know? Kinda like what you do here. And then she got her degree and has talked about applying for a doctorate. Damn. She was always going to become something.”

“I didn’t know, about her past, I mean,” Rowan murmured. His fingers tightened on the drink in his hand, long forgotten in the conversation.

“It’s why she tends to drop her mom’s name,” Aedion said, he shot Rowan a wry smile. “She doesn’t want that to be all people associate with her. Her parents love her, don’t get me wrong, but they always put so much pressure on her. Rhoe and Evalin practically raised me too and I got the same treatment. The Ashryvers aren’t known for weakness.”

If there was anything Rowan had learned in the past week, it was the truth of that sentence. Aelin was so much more than the city girl he’d first thought her to be. Everything she had done in her time on the ranch had been to help the kids and families that came through. She had worked so hard to turn this place into a functioning therapy ranch and she’d done a damn good job at it.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

Not that he really owed the explanation to anyone. Sellene was guilt-tripping him enough as it was. But he’d found the last few months to be more bearable. Somehow. Impossibly. Even with Aelin being as difficult as she was sometimes. But that was what he liked about her. She challenged him. She made plans and got things done. She was fearless.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

The one place she’d said made her feel like she was coming home.

“I need to--” Rowan began, already reaching for his phone so that he could call her.

He didn’t get far though when the front door opened with a loud thud. Rowan was on his feet in an instant, for some reason thinking it would be Aelin. Instead, it was Lysandra and Elide with a very distraught Evangeline. The young girl had tears streaming down her cheeks and snow was still melting in her hair from the storm raging outside.

“What happened?” Rowan demanded, already sensing the trouble afoot.

Evangeline shrunk back into Lysandra, shaking slightly. Rowan doubted it was from the chill. He cursed himself for adding to the girl's distress. If he remembered correctly, Evangeline was in between foster homes as the last place was unsuitable. That scar on her cheek was fresh enough that Rowan could guess what unsuitable meant.

He softened his voice. “Is everyone alright?”

Evangeline squeaked, her hair falling in her face. Behind her, Lysandra made a soothing sound as she gently brushed Evie’s hair back. Her glare cut right into Rowan making it clear what she thought about him.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Lysandra said, “you’re not in trouble. Just tell Rowan what happened.”

Evangeline sniffed loudly and nodded. “It was Luca. He and Derek got in a fight when we were playing a game and Luca left and I told him not to but—” Evangeline forced a shuddering breath “—but he left anyway out in the snow. So I went and got Aelin and Lysandra.”

“Aelin went out looking for him,” Lysandra finished quietly. She gave Evangeline’s shoulder a tight squeeze. “But it’s turning into a blizzard out there, I don’t know how far either of them will get. We left one of the other counselors to keep an eye on the rest of the kids.”

All Rowan could register in that moment was Aelin is out in the blizzard. It took his remembering that they were all looking to him for answers for him to snap to attention. He turned to Elide.

“Lorcan?” He asked.

“Finishing up in the stables,” Elide said, “he’s probably still there. And probably let her take a horse.”

Rowan doubted that. Even if Lorcan wasn’t fond of Aelin, he wouldn’t let her go out in this weather.

“Try calling him,” Rowan said, “see what he knows.”

When Elide nodded and stepped away, he looked back at Evangeline who was still shaking against Lysandra.

“It’s alright, Evangeline,” he said, “you did the right thing by letting us know what happened. Are you still cold?”

“N-no,” the girl stuttered softly.

Rowan held out a hand to her anyway. “Come have a seat by the fire, I’ve got hot chocolate in the kitchen too.”

Hesitantly, Evangeline accepted his offer. He got her settled in the chair he’d vacated and found one of the many fleece blankets Aelin had left lying around. After wrapping her up, Aedion had his phone out and played a Disney movie to distract the girl.

The adults huddled together in the kitchen while Rowan readied the promised hot chocolate.

“Lorcan said that Aelin took off on one of the mares,” Elide said quietly. She still held her phone to her ear, the call with Lorcan active. “He wants to know if he should go after her.”

“I’ll come out to the stables now, have him wait for me,” Rowan replied. He pulled a freshly heated mug from the microwave and dumped in a cocoa packet. It wasn’t the best but it’s do in a pinch. Besides, knowing that Aelin spent so much time up here there was bound to be whipped cream in the fridge and marshmallows in a cabinet. “I’ll ride out with him.”

Lysandra took the mug from him. “Then go. I’ll finish this. I don’t know about riding horses.”

Rowan looked at Aedion who shrugged.

“I mean,” the other man said, “I know how to stay on.”

“Good enough,” Rowan said. He turned to Elide next.

“I’ll wait at the barn with blankets and flashing lights,” she said before he could get a word out. “Now let's go, the snow is only going to get worse.”

It was more than enough to kick the rest of them into action.

After finding all the spare coats, socks, and blankets they could, they piled into Rowan’s truck and made the quick trip across the drive to the stables. All Rowan could focus on was the snow.

It no longer fell in thick innocuous fluff, rather it had turned to tiny flecks of ice that could cut skin. The heavy wind didn’t help anything either. The weather had quickly dissolved from mediocre to abysmal in the span of an hour. The snow was no longer sticking to the ground, instead billowing in icy white clouds all around them. Any semblance of being on an actual road was lost.

Rowan tried not to let it bother him. He tried to remind himself that Luca wouldn’t get far in this weather. Aelin was an experienced rider…even if she hadn’t been on a horse in nearly ten years. His gut still churned in trepidation and a mild sense of panic set his heart to racing. It was fine.

They reached the barn to find the side door open and Lorcan’s outline waiting with two horses already geared up and ready.

Piling from the truck, Rowan threw on his coat and grabbed the thick goose down parka for when they found Luca. He wrapped a scarf around his face as best he could to protect from the wind.

Aedion had the same idea. He’d also found a hand to pull down over his hair and ears.

“No,” Lorcan said as soon as he saw Elide’s smaller form emerge from around the truck. “Absolutely not. Go back to the main house.”

Had her arms not been full of blankets and spare coats, Rowan expected Elide would have flipped her boyfriend off.

“Make me.” She gave him a look that offered no room for argument and slipped into the stables.

Lorcan turned to Rowan, fury clearly written in his face.

“She’s going to stay back and keep the lights on for when we make our way back,” Rowan told him. “She’ll be fine.”

In any other situation, Rowan was sure Lorcan would have argued further. Instead, he passed off the reins to Goldryn.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he said. He then turned to Aedion to offer the other horse. Rowan had no doubt a third was already saddled and bridled just inside the doors.

Rowan made no promises as to what sort of decisions he would be making. He merely got one foot in the stirrups and hauled himself up. They’d wasted enough time and he wanted to get out there and find both Aelin and Luca.

“Rowan!”

He turned to see Elide running towards him. She waved an object in one hand, a flashlight.

“Phones will be useless,” she explained. “And I can’t find any walkie-talkies. Morse code, yeah?”

Smart. He accepted the light and clicked it on and off again. “Thanks.”

“Just find them.” Her dark eyes were pleading but nothing else about her smaller stature betrayed any of her worry. When Rowan nodded in assurance, she turned back to the stables. Rowan tucked the flashlight into the front of his coat before finally turning towards the direction he thought Luca would have gone from the cabins.

As the wind picked up and sent another cloud of snow to wash over them, Rowan tensed for a moment before urging Goldryn on. They had some ground to cover before they made it to the cabins. But it had been at least twenty minutes since Luca had run off. Even with the terrible weather, a determined kid on the run could do a lot of damage.

“C’mon girl,” Rowan called, nudging Goldryn into a canter.

He knew this land better than anyone. And he wouldn’t let anything happen to Luca or Aelin if he could help it.

…

Ice cut into Aelin’s skin as she and Farasha continued through the snow. She hadn’t thought to grab a scarf or face covering, hadn’t thought to find a thicker coat. The best she’d grabbed was a thin lap blanket. All she’d heard was that Luca ran off into the storm after an argument with one of the other kids. She would have thought about strangling Luca if she weren’t so worried about him.

“Luca!” she called out, wincing at the cold wind nearly choking her own voice.

She hadn’t even let her own panic take over at the thought of riding again. She’d saddled up the large horse in record time and told Lorcan to ready two other horses for him and Rowan to come search with her. It hadn’t even occurred to her that Rowan may not come, may not care as much as she did. But even if she was pissed off at him, she couldn’t imagine that he would stand idly by when a kid was caught out here in the weather.

Her fingers were stiff as she gripped the reins, grateful at least for that bit of distraction. It had been ages since she’d been on a horse and ridden. After breaking her back in a nasty fall and dealing with the repercussions from Hamel, she had sworn she would never get on another horse. She had sworn she would never return to this life. But here she was because all she wanted to do was help the kids who needed it.

She shuddered and not just from the cold.

The terrain wasn’t terrible, even with the way the rolling snow covered the ground and how dark the night had gotten. Even in the last seven months Aelin had grown used to the land. She’d spent hours walking, running, and just enjoying the ranch. Between walks with the kids she worked with or helping with moving the small herd of goats from pasture to pasture—Aelin felt like she knew the ranch as well as anyone.

Yet, as the wind continued to howl and the snow beat relentlessly against her side, Aelin had the sickening feeling she was getting lost. She fumbled for her phone and pulled up the flashlight. It hardly made a difference, in fact, the light was swallowed up almost as soon as it left the phone.

Aelin bit her lip to keep from cursing. She didn’t want any more cold air in her mouth finding its way down into her lungs.

How long had she been out here? An hour? Two? How long would Luca last with just his pajamas and simple coat?

Beneath her, Farasha grunted. It would only be a matter of time before the horse had had enough and would insist on turning back.

With numb fingers, Aelin patted the horse’s neck. They would find Luca. They had to.

The only logical direction Luca could go from the cabins was the main house. But if he were too embarrassed or upset, he may just go in the opposite direction. But all there would be was darkness. Empty and heavy. Or…or maybe…

Aelin thought back to the first day Luca had arrived and when she’d showed him the old homestead. It was an old cabin that Rowan’s great-grandfather had first lived in upon buying the land. She’d told Luca the same story Rowan had told her: with hardly any money his great-grandparents made that tiny cabin a home until they could till the land and make a living come spring. They’d survived against all odds and used it as a sign of a new beginning.

Spurring Farasha on, Aelin took off for the cabin. Luca had been enthralled by the story, asking question after question, he even asked to visit the cabin a second and third time.

Okay, okay, okay. It was the only thing Aelin could think that wouldn’t send her into a different sort of plummeting thoughts.

Even as the icy wind and sharp snow continued their assault, she told herself that everything was okay.

Aelin was beginning to lose hope, letting the soul wrenching feel of dread rise up within her. It had been too long. There was no sign of the cabin nor of Luca.

This was her fault. It was all her fault.

A flicker in the distance caught her attention. A shadow mingling with the already thickly cloying shadows and manipulations of the storm.

“Luca!” Aelin yelled. As Farasha continued diligently on, the small old cabin came into view and there, trekking towards it was a small hunkered shape. “Luca!”

The shape stopped and Aelin heard a voice in the wind. Hope rose within her, beating against the dread and panic.

“Hold on!” Sensing her urgency, Farasha pressed on, though Aelin could tell it was with reluctance.

It took several agonizing minutes to move the few yards closer to the cabin but they made it. And there, trying desperately to reach the old cabin was Luca.

Aelin let out a string of curses as she slid off of Farasha. She gripped the lap blanket in one hand, keeping it close as she ran to Luca. The boy couldn’t reach out to her, his arms wrapped tight around him. His coat was too thin for this weather, his old boots unlaced. Aelin swore his skin was blue, not just his lips.

“A-a-aelin?” he stuttered, the sound of her name was too soft from his mouth.

Aelin threw the blanket around him. She pulled him against her and wrapped her arms around his middle as she tried to rub warmth into his limbs.

“What were you thinking?” she asked, unable to curb her own panic. “Luca. Luca. Luca.”

The boy trembled against her. He was trying to talk, to apologize, but Aelin kept him tugged against him so tight his words were muffled.

Ice stung Aelin’s eyes as she pulled away and knelt before him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, speaking over the sound of the wind.

He nodded even as his body still shook. Hell.

Aelin drew Luca back against her side. “It’s going to be fine. I’ve got Farasha and we’re going to get back to the house. Everything’s fine.”

She wasted no time in leading Luca to the horse. She boosted him up into the saddle, helping him scoot as far up as he could. Aelin braced herself as she scrambled up on the horse behind him. The motion wasn’t as smooth as it could have been. Combined with lack of practice, cold, and, admittedly, fear, Aelin didn’t let it bother her.

Once settled, she pulled Luca against her chest and reached for the reins.

“We’re alright,” she told him. What else could she say? “We’re going to go back to the house and get you warmed up.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Luca chattered. “I knew I shouldn’t have left.”

Aelin shushed him gently. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

Luca trembled against her chest but fell quiet as he tucked his face into the blanket, she’d given him. The wind had picked up and snow swirled around them. Aelin squinted, trying to keep ice from pricking her eyes. It only made tears start to well and track down her cheeks. In a matter of seconds, she could feel her skin freeze. Aelin dared not blink for fear of her eyes freezing shut. Instead, she tapped her heels against Farasha’s side.

Even with the added load of Luca, the horse surged forward. Aelin had no idea if they were headed in the right direction. All she could do was hope that the horse had a better sense of where they were than she. But with how dark the night had fallen and the increased snowfall, Aelin couldn’t help the panic welling within her. She had found Luca, sure, but that was only half the problem.

Now they had to trek back through the storm to the stables. Aelin guided Farasha as best she could, but the sheets of snow that swirled around them certainly didn’t help.

To ease her own worry, she wrapped an arm around Luca, keeping him close. He was still conscious, which was good. She tried asking him questions to make sure he stayed that way but after a few rounds of feeling like her throat was freezing and Luca’s continued shudders--she stopped.

Come on, she thought to herself. She was strong enough to do this. Strong enough to get Luca back safely. Even if no one else thought much of her--she could see this through.

And then what? She’d be out of a job. Likely forced to move back to the city and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to stay here either if what Rowan said was true.

If Arobynn Hamel took over the ranch Aelin knew she couldn’t stay. Hamel was cruel to say the least. Vindictive, arrogant, abusive. He had pushed Aelin beyond her limits and was the reason her life had changed forever.

She wanted to hate Rowan for what he had planned. But how could he have known? She never talked about her past as it was. It wasn’t even any of his business if she did leave.

Damn him. Damn him for giving up on this place in the first place. And damn him for making her think that she almost had a home here.

A shiver rolled through Aelin’s body. How could she still feel the cold? Everything was numb at this point. She didn’t even know how she could remain upright in the saddle, let alone hold the reins. But the cold had settled in so deep that it was simply an extension of who she was now.

They passed by a fence post that Aelin didn’t recognize. Or did she? Was it the one along the easter paddock? That meant they were near the stables right?

The top of the post only had a thin layer of snow on top, the barbed wire extending along to the next post already had icicles forming.

As if sensing her unease, Farasha moved a little faster. But, really, there wasn’t much the horse could do. Not in these conditions.

Aelin tilted her face up to the sky, as though that would do anything. All she could see was the mass of snow and ice continuing to fall. The gray sky overhead a mass of terror and pure power. Never had she felt so insignificant until that moment. She was a small speck in comparison to the universe overhead.

She dropped her head again and stared forward, willing herself to see some chance of hope.

There was nothing. Nothing but white. Nothing but gray. Nothing but--

A flash of light.

Aelin straightened in the saddle and stared at where she’d seen the flash. She hadn’t imagined it. She couldn’t have.

There it was again!

A quick flash followed by a longer one. The flashes continued in somewhat the same manner, like morse code.

Aelin’s fingers were too stiff to try for her phone. She would have dropped it before managing to get it unlocked. All she could do was guide Farasha towards the light. Aelin had never learned morse code beyond SOS. But she’d been out on this land plenty of times and she knew there weren’t any strange flashing lights around. And these flashes seemed too deliberate in any case.

It was the only reassurance she could hold on to. That and keeping Luca in one arm.

Another few minutes passed on until Aelin could hear a voice on the wind. She didn’t register it at first, but it was familiar. The shout came again; long and steady.

“Luca! Aelin!” Their names were drawn out into multiple syllables but it was someone shouting for them.

Not just someone. Aelin would have recognized that voice anywhere.

The flashlight beam grew stronger the closer they got and Aelin could soon make out a shape sitting astride a horse.

“Rowan,” she whispered, more to herself than anything. Because who else could it be. “Rowan!”

It was only a minute later that had Goldryn loping toward them with Rowan. He still had the flashlight in one hand, beaming brightly against the night.

“Aelin!” he yelled. He drew in close, close enough to grab her shoulder.

The flashlight helped illuminate him enough that Aelin could see the taut lines of his face, his eyes wide in panic. The scarf around his lower face had fallen away and snow was building up in the creases. But it was him. He was here, staring at her like she was the greatest damn thing he’d ever seen.

“We’re fine,” she said, loud over the storm. “But we need to get Luca warmed up.”

Rowan dropped his gaze to the boy who was still pressed against Aelin’s chest.

“Let's go,” he said, “it’s not that far.”

Aelin could only nod as he turned Goldryn and led the way to the stables. Farasha, blessedly brilliant beast that she was, followed without any prompting.

The tightness in Aelin’s chest loosened with each step made. They had made it. It really was going to be alright.

Quicker than Aelin realized, the stables came into view. Bright light from the floodlights broke through the storm and she could see the doors were cracked open just a bit. Two other horses were by the doors being tended to. It took Aelin several moments to realize it was Lorcan and Aedion waiting there. They soon disappeared into the barn, taking the two horses with them.

When Rowan and Aelin reached the stable doors, both men had returned. Lorcan wasted not time in coming to Aelin’s side. He grabbed Luca from the saddle, hauling the boy into his arms and taking him inside. Aelin could only stare after. She had no idea if she could move, let alone blink.

It wasn’t until Rowan appeared in her line of sight that she did blink, miraculously without frozen eyes. She had no idea when he’d gotten off his horse but here he was right beside her. He reached out, one hand going to her side as he gently tugged her off of Farasha.

She fell into him. It was an accident, really. But her body was still numb and she might have been in shock, but she went tumbling off of the saddle in as inelegant a dismount as could be imagined. Rowan’s arms stayed around her, keeping them both upright.

“I got you,” he murmured into her ear. He kept a firm hold on her as she slowly regained her balance.

Somehow, he still had warmth to share. As he kept her tight in his grasp, Aelin could practically feel her own body leeching it off of him. She was desperate to feel anything other than the raging cold threatening to freeze her entire body.

Lorcan appeared in another minute and helped with Farasha, Aedion took control of Goldryn.

Rowan led Aelin into the stables that were already infinitely warmer than the storm outside. There seated on a few bales of hay was Elide, well at work with getting Luca wrapped in a fresh blanket and tugging a hat over his head.

“You’re half frozen,” Rowan said. He kept walking Aelin away from the opened doors of the stables. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Aelin could only stare at him.

The familiar scowl was in place and his brow was furrowed as he worked to get her out of her wet coat. A thin and useless coat, he pointed out. He replaced it by draping a thicker one over her shoulders, holding it in place when she didn’t take it herself.

All she could do was stare at him. He had come for her. He had gone out into that storm and came to find her. Luca too. But with the way he was staring at her and brushing the messy strands of hair from her face--all Aelin could really process was that he was here for her.

“You’re fussing,” she managed to whisper.

“Of course I’m fussing,” he said, incredulity spreading across his face. “Aelin, you’re freezing.”

Of course she was. She’d spent the better part of an hour (more?) searching through a blizzard on a horse looking for Luca. Her entire body shook with cold and a mild panic of what she’d just accomplished.

Rowan tugged the coat tighter around her as he kept talking. But Aelin couldn’t hear what he was going on about. A shrill ringing started in her ears blocking almost everything else out. And then the shivers wouldn’t stop. Her entire body was shaking and it was all she could do to stay on her own two feet before she pitched forward straight into Rowan, vision going black.

…

When Aelin woke, she found herself surrounded by a thick warmth that engulfed her. It was far welcome from the dreams of freezing snow and wind that she’d had all night. Grateful for the thick blankets tucked all around her, Aelin snuggled in deeper, breathing in a familiar scent of pine.

Her eyes snapped open with sudden awareness.

She wasn’t in her own bed.

Pain lanced through her head as she tried sitting up. The sheer weight of the blankets piled on top of her was enough to keep her down though, for at least a minute longer.

What the hell had happened? Her body ached as though she’d run a marathon and she was certain her toes were frozen solid and—

And there had been the blizzard. And Luca. And she’d gotten on a horse and rose out into a blizzard to find him.

That thought alone spurred her on. She shoved the thick quilts aside, pausing only at the patchwork of the top blanket that was a blend of greens and silvers in a pattern she couldn’t quite make out, but it was handmade. She could tell that much.

Aelin then realized that she was in Rowan’s room. If not for the scent of pine and the obvious splashes of green throughout the decoration, then the picture on the bedside table. It was of a boy no more than ten with a shock of silver hair standing on a dock that overlooked a lake. In one hand he held up a fishing line with a giant fish dangling from the hook. Beside him was an older man, his father, who had a proud grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around the boy. And there was another picture of a woman with tan skin and brilliant green eyes smiling down at a bundled baby in her arms.

She was in Rowan’s room.

The thought shocked her enough that she remained seated on the edge of the bed right up until the door opened. Mind still reeling, Aelin could only watch as Rowan himself slowly stepped into the room.

He stopped immediately upon seeing her awake and sitting up. Dressed in his usual attire of jeans and flannel she almost would have guessed she hadn’t been asleep that long. If it hadn’t been for his disheveled hair or the stubble on his chin and cheeks.

“You should be asleep,” Rowan said. He held a cup of water in one hand and slowly walked it over to her, setting it on the bedside table she’d just been examining.

“I was,” Aelin replied, even with the short words her voice rasped with disuse and exhaustion.

Rowan who now stood just before her, his knees brushing hers, reached out and brushed a few messy strands of hair from her face. His fingers were warm against her skin and the calluses rough as they scraped gently along her cheek. The expression in his eyes held something Aelin wasn’t sure how to read. She’d thought she’d gotten decent enough at interpreting Rowan that it unsettled her just a bit.

Instead of the depthless sea of green she was so accustomed to, he was now guarded and hesitant. Compared to his usual assurance and confidence--Aelin was at a loss of what to say.

“Drink this,” Rowan said, filling the silence. He pushed the glass of water into her hands along with a few pain pills and the granola bar. “And eat. The pills will settle better with something in your stomach.”

Aelin set the items aside. “I’m fine.”

“Aelin.”

The warning in his voice had Aelin’s hackles rising. She set her jaw and glared right back at him.

“I’m fine.”

They stared at each other, neither budging. And they could sit there all day for all Aelin was concerned. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep or of any of the other details of her passing out, but she did know she was still pissed Rowan and she would hold out for as long as--

“Please,” Rowan said, voice uncharacteristically soft, “just eat something.”

The breath stilled in Aelin’s lungs. When had she ever heard him say please? It was such a strange word coming from him that Aelin automatically reached for the granola bar and unwrapped it. She took a few bites before swallowing the pain pills with some of the water.

“Happy?” she asked, placing the water back on the bedside table.

Rowan, as expected, remained silent. When he turned aways from her, Aelin thought he was going to give her some peace and quiet, but he was only putting a little distance between them. Which was probably for the best considering Aelin was having a difficult time breathing normally when he was so close. She would blame it on nearly getting hypothermia. That was it.

“Do you have any idea how stupid it was for you to go out like you did?” he demanded. He’d stepped back closer to the window, pale light filtering through the thin curtains to illuminate him enough that Aelin could better see the outlines of his face and the stiff way he held himself.

“I was trying to find Luca,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Get help,” Rowan said, “it was a blizzard Aelin, what if something had happened?”

“Exactly.” She rose to her feet, blinking back the fuzzy blackness along the edge of her vision. She wasn’t going to let him berate her. “I couldn’t let something happen to Luca. He was my responsibility. It’s a miracle I found him at all.”

Aelin waited expectantly for him to say something else. To continue to tell her how stupid she was, how upset he was. That she’d made mistake after mistake.

But he didn’t.

Rowan stood before her, hands on his hips and lips pressed tight together. Silent.

“I wasn’t going to leave him,” Aelin said, and she was shocked to find emotion beginning to clog her throat. “I couldn’t.”

And then Rowan did the absolute last thing she expected. He hugged her.

One moment he was two feet away looking as mad as she’d ever seen him, the next he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug. His arms wound around her, one hand buried in her hair to keep her close. It took Aelin a few seconds to reorient herself but she carefully returned the hug.

Several different questions and emotions swam through Aelin’s head. Most of which dealt with the variety that Rowan was actually displaying affection of one sort or another. He wasn’t a stone wall of silence in that moment but someone who cared. At least, that was how she chose to interpret this display.

“It’s alright,” she found herself murmuring. “Everything’s fine.”

She realized belatedly that the anger she’d felt rolling off of him was actually fear. That he’d been scared for her. She marveled at it really, that Rowan Whitethorn would be worried about her.

Aelin gently eased back, just enough that she could look at him with a bit more clarity. Her entire body was still brimming with exhaustion, she could feel her own tiredness thudding through her bones with every beat of her heart. It was only a small, dull ache though in comparison with the unyielding depths of Rowan’s dark eyes.

She didn’t go far though. The warmth radiating off of him was welcome, feeling almost as though she were back in bed and wrapped in the many blankets. Being so close to him was strange, different. She’d never allowed herself to get so close to him before that now, being held by him--she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so safe and secure.

“Sorry,” Rowan said, though he didn’t release her entirely as one hand trailed softly along her side.

Not knowing how to navigate any of this--Aelin avoided a direct response.

“How’s Luca?” she asked.

“Fine,” Rowan said, “he woke up twenty minutes ago and is perfectly fine.”

“Good,” she said, genuine relief flooding her. “That’s good.”

“We had him and Evangeline stay in the house, Evie stayed in your room,” Rowan went on to explain. “Because the weather was so bad, Lorcan and Elide stayed the night too. They’re with the rest of the kids down at the cabins.”

“Rowan, I,” Aelin began, knowing that she did at least owe him a little of an apology. In part for her recklessness (though they would both know she wasn’t really sorry) and for the way she acted after learning about Hamel.

“Don’t,” he said, quick to cut her off. His fingers dug into her sides grounding her right where they stood. “You don’t need to say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” she said anyways, he gave her an exasperated sort of look that made her smile. “Not about Luca, I stand by going after him, but Hamel. There’s more to that than I’ve told anyone.”

Rowan cleared his throat, eyes flicking away for a brief moment before resettling on her. “Aedion might have told me a little about that. And about…”

He trailed off when Aelin turned away. She didn’t know why she did, why she wanted to ignore her past and lock it back up again where no one, not even she, could find it. But she did. Because she knew how it sounded, how it looked. The spoiled rich girl from the good background with everything at her beck and call falls into a mess of drug use. Even if she hadn’t known about it.

When the backs of her knees hit the bed, Aelin collapsed onto the mattress. She was exhausted anyways and really just wanted to sink back into the blankets and fall asleep. Maybe pretend none of this had ever happened.

“I ended the deal with Hamel,” Rowan said. “Literally just got off the phone with him to tell him I wasn’t selling anymore.”

Aelin felt her jaw fall open as she stared up at him. “You what?”

If there was anything he could have said to shock her, that was it.

“I’m not selling,” Rowan repeated. He looked as serious as he ever did, not a fleck of emotion on his face. It was a strange beauty he held, Aelin thought at that moment. The hard planes of his face, his sharp jawline, and the full curve of his lips—all of it combined together in such a way that nearly stole her breath away.

“Why not?” she whispered. “Not to him or not at all?”

He swallowed, throat bobbing. Aelin thought it curious, why would he care about this so much to end the deal that, as he’d said, would bring in a great deal of money? And why would he care enough to not want to talk about it further?

“No deal at all,” Rowan said, “my attorney’s processing a formal citation for it now.”

“Why?” she asked again. Why did she care so much? Was it her own love for this ranch that has somehow developed over these brief few months? Was it no more than the desire to know that Hamel was getting screwed over?

This time when he came towards her, Aelin didn’t move. She only watched as he slowly drew closer until once again, his knees knocked against hers. He hovered over her, his broad frame blocking out the light from the window. But he wasn’t imposing, wasn’t a cruel thing engulfing her. It was just Rowan.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” he said. The admission sent shivers running along her arms, racing down her spine. “Not after, everything.”

“Everything,” Aelin repeated, trying hard to ignore the way her heart was hammering in her chest and how her stomach dipped at the low timbre of his voice. “It was the binder, wasn’t it?”

She couldn’t help the teasing words. The binder that had outlined this week of kids coming to the ranch had included a brief plan of continued action to take on seeing more progress made for various revenue opportunities for the ranch. Really, Aelin hadn’t expected Rowan would read much into it.

Rowan snorted a soft laugh, head tilting up as though he were looking to the heavens for help.

“Yeah, I guess that was it.” His words weren’t convincing. Not even in the slightest. Especially not when Aelin saw that small spark in his eyes, the way he was so close yet still so far. And Aelin, despite everything that had happened, wanted him closer. Rowan, she knew, was too chivalrous and wouldn’t do anything to push her over whatever line they were toeing.

She reached up, fingers grazing the hem of his shirt, the fabric soft against her skin.

“I told you it was—” Aelin never had the chance to finish teasing him further when he swept in to kiss her.

It was a soft brush of his lips against hers, barely anything at all. And still it made her breath catch, caused goosebumps to race over her skin. She arched into him, eagerly seeking out of his touch. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her feel so wild in her own skin.

Rowan cupped her cheek with one hand as he drew her closer. The deepening kiss nearly drowned her. He paused only once, hovering before her in a silent question. Aelin responded by fisting her fingers in his shirt and dragging him to her. His lips turned insistent against hers, drawing a small sound from her throat.

In all her time at the ranch, Aelin had never known Rowan to be so gentle or careful. But the way he treated her as though she were something to be cherished, something to be loved—it had her heart seizing in her throat.

She wanted more, needed more, and given the way Rowan’s hands ran through her hair and down her sides she knew he did too.

Which, of course, was when a soft knock came at the bedroom door.

“Aelin?” It was Lysandra come to check on her.

She and Rowan broke apart, putting just enough distance between them. There was no guilt or regret in Rowan’s eyes, rather a promise just for her.

Aelin straightened, adjusting her mussed shirt. “Come in.” She reached for the half-eaten granola bar and started to finish it off, just so she could have something to do with her hands and maybe detract from what she and Rowan had been up to.

The look on Lysandra’s face said she wasn’t convinced. She raised a brow, fixing her look solely on Rowan before turning to Aelin.

“I told him not to bother you,” she said.

“I was already awake,” Aelin said honestly.

Lysandra hummed, her mouth curving into a smirk. “Sure. Well, there’s a real breakfast downstairs. And Luca wants to thank-you in person for finding him.”

“Thanks, Lys,” Aelin said.

Her friend waited a moment longer before turning to leave. She left the door open behind her.

Aelin waited until Lysandra disappeared down the stairs before she rose to her feet. She was tired and still a bit achy but she knew that if she and Rowan remained up here any longer it would only result in an embarrassing call out. That or Aedion would be sent to collect them. And for her cousin's health and Rowan’s own sanity, Aelin thought it best not to avoid the inevitable.

Automatically, she reached out for Rowan and took her hand in his. She laced their fingers together and gave him a small squeeze.

“I never did thank-you,” she said, stepping closer to him, willing to snatch just one more moment.

Rowan arched a brow. “For what?”

“You came to find me,” she said, “even after everything.”

His face softened and Rowan brought their clasped hands up between them, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

“I’ll always come if you need me,” he promised.

Aelin smiled, unable to help it. For the first time in ages, she felt a small bit of joy begin to kindle deep in her chest. Where once it might have scared her, now it was a welcome feeling, one that she would keep close deep within her.

“C’mon, buzzard, before she sends Aedion up to get us.” She tugged him to the door with her so they could join the fray awaiting downstairs for them.

And over the next few days, Aelin wouldn’t know what the future would bring. She didn’t know if anything would happen between her and Rowan or if this was some strange moment shared together. She didn’t even know what would happen with her career.

What she did know was that she wanted to fight for it, whatever may come.

…

Epilogue—Six Months Later

It was the howling of a dog that woke him at six in the morning, not his usual alarm. At first, Rowan was keen to ignore it and instead try to fall back asleep. But the dog howled again, mostly out of need for attention than anything else. He rolled over in bed, one arm reaching out to the warm body beside him.

“Your child is calling,” he grumbled.

Aelin cursed from where she was tangled in the blankets. “You’re the one that bought her.”

Indeed, Rowan had purchased the dog that let out another howl outside. He’d figured if he were going to keep the ranch, they should have a dog. What he hadn’t planned on was the little demon to end up being almost exactly like Aelin. He should have known.

Snorting a laugh, Rowan tugged her closer, ignoring the way Aelin’s blonde hair was splayed out messily, nearly engulfing him. He wrapped a hand around her waist, keeping her close. She was soft against him; curves and angles fitting perfectly with him. No matter how many times they woke like this, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it.

Aelin rolled over in his arms so they were face to face and she could hook her leg over his hip. Already she had one hand buried in his hair as she settled down again. Rowan cracked an eye open to watch her.

Eyes closed and a look of contentment on her soft features, Aelin still remained the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. The nightgown she wore was a poor excuse for covering. The thin straps had fallen down her shoulders and left her chest almost perfectly exposed. The hemline rode up far along her thighs. And he was well aware she wasn’t wearing underwear beneath.

He had no idea how they’d come to this point—no idea how he’d managed to not screw things up beyond measure. Given the way they’d started—they by all means should still hate each other. But here they were, tangled together in a mess of limbs.

He realized too late that she’d opened her eyes.

“Staring?” she asked.

“Always.”

Aelin grinned in that delightfully bright way she did. It was enough to strike any man dumb. Taking advantage of his distraction, Aelin swooped in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll take care of the dog if you make me pancakes,” she said, already climbing out of bed.

Rowan, however, had another idea. He snatched a hand out, catching her wrist to pull her back down on the bed. Aelin yelped in surprise, nearly falling on top of him. She caught herself though, one hand braced on the mattress next to him. Golden hair fell around them as a curtain, a tangled, messy curtain.

Leaning up, Rowan caught her mouth in another kiss. This one far more than a simple peck. Aelin sighed against him as one hand trailed along his bare chest, her fingers working in soft caresses at his side.

As he deepened the kiss, Rowan sat up and wrapped an arm around Aelin. He pulled her fully into his lap, fully intending to have a proper morning together when the alarm clock finally went of and that damned dog started another round of howls from outside. Groaning, Rowan tried keeping her close for just a moment longer.

“Sorry cowboy,” Aelin said breathlessly as she pulled back. “Our child is calling. And you’re going to be late.”

She brushed her fingers through with a fond smile before getting out of bed. This time Rowan let her go, though he wasn’t happy about it.

Aelin threw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt before she ran downstairs, calling for Fleetfoot the entire way.

In the six months since the blizzard that brought them together, many things had changed. Normally Rowan would have shied away from it all. Change never meant anything good. It meant things would be different, that there was a new reality set forth before him. And, always one to stay the course, he’d never pursued much beyond what he already knew.

But he supposed the change Aelin wrought within him was just what he needed. And not just in keeping the family ranch. But she made him want to be different, to be better.

After he changed, Rowan headed downstairs. Aelin was outside with Fleetfoot, the golden lab that was supposed to be a herd dog but much preferred human company than goats. He watched them through the kitchen window as Aelin threw a ball for Fleetfoot to chase.

The golden sun already illuminated the sky setting everything alight. Spring came swiftly and full of new opportunities. And for once, Rowan didn’t dread it.

Even though he was running behind, Lorcan would kick his ass for it, Rowan whipped up a batch of pancakes and already had a few on the griddle by the time Aelin and Fleetfoot scampered back inside.

Fleetfoot pranced around happily and dashed into the kitchen to make sure Rowan knew she was there.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rowan said as the dog rubbed against one of his legs. “Go ask your momma for treats.”

Aelin instead fixed Fleetfoot’s food dish with the allotted portion of kibble. Though, Rowan knew the dog would get at least one treat before the hour was out.

While Fleetfoot attacked her breakfast, Aelin came and wrapped her arms around Rowan’s middle. She pressed her forehead into his back and sighed as she rested against him.

“You didn’t have to make pancakes,” she told him quietly.

Rowan flipped the few that were on the griddle before turning to accept a full hug. He brushed the escaping bits of hair that flew from her bun out of the way and shrugged.

“I wanted to.”

“Hmm,” Aelin hummed and pressed up onto her toes to kiss him. Chaste and sweet, the kiss still held a lingering promise of what exactly she wanted to do to him. “Well, thank-you. But you should go. Lorcan’s going to be pissy enough as it is.”

“Yes dear,” Rowan said.

He let Aelin take control over the pancakes and grabbed a protein bar from the fridge before heading out for the day. He paused when he reached the door looking back at Aelin as she pulled the batch of pancakes from the heat.

“I love you,” he said.

She looked up, blue eyes dazzling with her smile. “Love you, buzzard.”

The door closed softly behind him as he hurried down the porch to his waiting truck. Beside it was the SUV Lysandra and Aedion had left behind, taking Aelin Audi with them once the snow let up. The chrome silver was spattered with mud and dust looking as though it perfectly belonged where it was. The sight brought a small smile to him.

His truck rumbled down the road to the stables where they would already be preparing for the first spring camp of the season. They were expecting fifteen kids in total with another week planned for the wait-listers that hadn’t gotten in the first time.

The day after the blizzard, Rowan officially terminated any agreement with Hamel that had been talked about, just as he’d promised Aelin he would. They’d faced some backlash, but it was remarkable just what a few loyal names could do to help make things right. Though, Aelin’s own determination in not letting the man have any more control over her said enough.

Now she worked in town at the singular therapy office, providing help to those who wanted. When she wasn’t there, she was at the ranch helping him and continuing to plan and host events for more kids and individuals seeking help and comfort for their traumas and other mental health concerns. Just like she’d always wanted.

Rowan drove past the wide-open field of the ranch his family had called home for over a hundred years. And when he glanced in the rearview mirror at the ranch house fading into view behind him, he hoped that it would remain that way for a few more generations after.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

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