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quanticq · 1 year

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Hey Q! Sorry for bothering you, but for some reason I can no longer find any of your tik tok accounts 😭 Did they get deleted or something?

Hi this is Q! I’m coming out of the woodwork to address this, since I did went radio silent out of the blue so it’s not a bother at all

The short answer is Yes, I deleted my tiktok

Yes delete not deactivate, I’m not coming back to That app or IG or Twt, I deleted my socials except here and YouTube, I honestly felt so overwhelmed with everything, I realized I’m not even posting for myself anymore there. A lots of people crossed my boundaries time and time again I felt so helpless, bitter with myself. I guess I was just overwhelmed with the attention I got; both positive and negatives ones.

Im done and I want to start over so that’s why I’m here and on YouTube, I already posted some of these on my community tab on YT but here’s what I have in mind for the future of the content I want to create: more detail under the cut, and also;

CW: very brief mention of spiraling, harm inflict oneself or others, paranoia, etc

•Long-form content: my attention span is a bit messed up from consuming and making short-form content to the point where I can’t focus in university. I want to create something meaningful. It’s not that my previous content was not meaningful, no. I had fun and no time is wasted when I have fun, it was warm… but as I mentioned earlier, I just felt this lingering bitterness the longer I stayed making those short-form content. It really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Especially with how the bigger following I have the less people think of me as a person than just another content creator you see on the internet,

I want to create long-form content, I’m so tired of forcing myself to generate 15 second content. On tiktok it just feels like I’m just creating and not really connecting. I want to try something new, maybe create an open space for meaningful discussion in the comments. I don’t think I can stand another copy-paste tiktok comment anymore. You know what I meant if you’re frequent on that app.

•Art Content with Commentary: and don’t worry this won’t be those petty artist drama issue, but I will still cover anything serious

it could be love letters or video essays ranging from fan fictions, fandom culture, the art scene and so much more. I may even share a bit of my personal life, this will be self indulgent after all! I want to make it fun for myself and as well to those who comes across my channel. I really REALLY want to create a genuine following.

On tiktok it’s so easy to gain following but not so easy to retain them, it’s mostly because of the algorithm and the FYP feature there.

On Tiktok most content that would get featured as an artist there would be creative work has to be either; more than exceptional which is pressuring enough already to consistent posters, straight up suggestive content shown to minors (tiktok doesn’t really have a blocked keywords feature but it’s so disheartening to see these creators intentionally not using the sensitive warning since it could limit their reach significantly) oh yes we can’t forget the negativity surrounding beginner artists or “art lore”

All of this cesspool of negativity, it’s a whole can of worms but it will be one of my prominent topics that I wish to discuss in my future art commentaries. I hope you guys are looking forward to those! I might bring in a few people or so to talk about it with me

and finally;

•Streaming: I used to do a lot of streams during the weekends on the clock app and it was super fun! I want to bring that back but that would have to wait since I’m unfamiliar with some features on YouTube, and I’m aware that YT does not have a discoverable feature for stream but that’s alright, I want to start something small first.

In short; I’ll figure it out! just need some baby steps before I start streaming again.

I apologize for deleting everything out of the blue, if I’m gonna be honest it was partially planned because I’ve been thinking about deleting my tiktok, twitter and Instagram for a while now but how it happened? In my breakdown I realized that I don’t want anyone to see me spiral, especially now that I realized how young my audience are, I’m not sure how that happened but I guess posting fandom contents does attract the young ones somehow inevitably, even though my content is nowhere near as suggestive, but I do talk about serious topics from time to time… but I digress, its not fair for them to deal with me if they see me spiral publicly,

it is especially not fair to them to console me. When I was younger than 14, I’ve been in a position where I have to talk down someone who was older, maybe 4-5 years older than me, from harming themselves or anyone, it was traumatizing and unpleasant. I don’t wish for anyone to go through that, it’s very painful.

It’s been… hard for me to ground myself. Ive been seeing things through a kaleidoscope of emotions; I was trying to focus on everything but it’s just too overwhelming so eventually I cracked. But please don’t worry I’ve been doing better now, after some time away from my online persona, and of course spending time with my beloved girlfriend, I see things much more clearly now.

Thank you to anyone who read this and much so appreciate those who understand where I’m coming from

Also now that I think of it can my stuff be considered as lost media now? Amazing! But please don’t be sad the fun I had was genuine!

Thank you again to those who genuinely enjoyed my content on tiktok but it’s time for me to try my hand at something new, I will still be dwelling in my creative headspace just.. away from public for now,

if you’re looking forward for my future post, make sure to check out my YouTube! I still have a lot I need to cook hehe, this is one of the few!

More post soon, Bye bye! -Q

#vent #mental health #mentions of unhealthy habits #I’m not sure how to tag these but I’ll try my best!#social media #q myers #tiktok #burnt out #creative fatigue #sorry for the rant #rant #content creator #art community

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littlemonstert-blog · 1 year

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The long debate

Tired of the Bullshit ( Rant)

Masashi Kishimoto "Sexists, misogynist and sucks at writing women"

I'll make this very clear, Kishimoto is also NOT obligated to put a lot of effort on any character he doesn't want to. He didn't write female characters "bad" than most other Mangas I've have read before, he gets called sexist because of the fandom's treatment of the female cast. ( Yes by all genders )

( A shouen is mostly for the teenage boy demograhic, we all can google the definition up....but I don't say people even try.)

Contray to belief, the mangaka do listen to fans whether mail or twitter. Hell, gotten so bad for Kubo (Bleach) that fans were harrassing him he deleted his account.

Kishimoto always focused on building up Naruto & Sasuke, leaving his side cast behind.

If Naruto gets a power up, then Sasuke gets a power up

If Sasuke loses a loved one (Itachi), then Naruto loses a loved one (Jirarya)

People need to realize it was Naruto & Sasuke story

(As much as I wish he but more time in the side cast/clans Uzumaki, Senju & Hyuga instead of focusing on the Uchiha clan so much you can't force him to.)

It’s dumb to come to the conclusion that Kishimoto is a perv and misogynist just because he drew some sexy justu and big breasted women like Tsunade, Samui & Hinata.

( Other anime do this but he seems to get more backlash it just the girls the only the said)

or because he joked about Hinata breasts. KANA BOOM/ Kishimoto Interview Snippet

Then you have this: Never heard of suigetsu being sexualized boy just walking around naked. (All the shirtless scenes & panels. but oh no big boobs cleavage has he no shame ( me being sarcastic)

But making a big deal when we see Hinata's chest (Hardly ever & always covered) when only time is when she got stabbed in the chest by Pain & needed to be healed

( Didn't know showing a bit of cleavge get's mf's in a tizy but don't seem to care about a seeing a shirtless or naked boy.... the irony)

Then there's Studio Perriot made so much fanservice of Hinata

which is total bullshit don't know why Hinata is the ONLY one people love to focus on when each woman on the show had fanservice. Honestly did you watch the show fillers or just twitter/ tiktok vids.

"Sexists, misogynist"

yet his staff laugh at the thought of a woman knitting a scarf. Like his wife knitting a scarf for him.

Reading his author notes in the manga: He'd spend over a decade making this story missing out on friends parties, weddings & quality time with his family. I remember his father passed during the middle of war arc. He's was having health problems & still working on the Naruto manga. His relationship with on of his son was so bad his son just reffered to him as "the guy that created Naruto" ouch.

youtube

NYCC 2015 Panel 2015

7:14 after the series finishes spends more time with his family & kids

7:33 about his marriage got married during run of naruto & never had a honeymoon

bonus his inspo's from other mangaka some good rec 21:12 slam dunk, 20 century boys, monster, Phoniex

youtube

32:03 story about boruto the movie has a bit about Kishimoto & his sons relationship

Jump SQ magazine and recently in the American version of Jump. When reading, please keep in mind it was conducted BEFORE Naruto’s official conclusion on November 10, 2014.

Contray to belfie, they weren't even bad ( only inconsisty in maybe two) if he again gave less focus on the Uchiha clan. We could have more arcs & fights for other characters. Heck, the rumored Part 3 of Naruto could done that. ( He puts all characters info in a databook )

Kishimoto explains how Sakura was created for the sake of a love triangle, he didn't say I created the rival and the love interest, he just said a rival and a love triangle because that’s legit the reason why Sakura was created in the first place.

If you don't beilieve me about the triangle pushing the rivarly let's go back where it started in chapter 3

The female characters didn't get any development or have goals & There not relavent to the plot!

The girls most of them are side characters they do have goals & dreams & get develpoment.

Tsunade: A pessmistic but change wanting to protect the leaf village & naruto's dream to become hokage

Hinata : Overcoming her family's abuse. Changing herself and train to become a better fighter and a more confident person.

Sakura: Wanting to be with Sasuke at first but, later wanting to become stronger in order to fight beside Naruto and Sasuke.

Tenten: Become a strong kunoichi like Tsunade.

Mei: Wants to marry a guy. But truly wants rebuild her village. Formerly know as the "Blood Mist Village."

Konan: achieving world peace and gave her life to give for Naruto because her friend Nagato that beilived in him.

Relevancy

Despite some not getting enough screen time they were pretty relevant to the plot if characters didn't appear then other characters would have died.

Had Tsuande denied to become hokage lots of thing wouldn't have happen if she didn't return to the village. Many people would have died during pain arc/ war arc. Hinata if she hadn't jumped in the Pain fight Naruto would have been captured & died. Hinata also did quite a bit in war arc to. Ino was a big help during the war. Ino helped take down inkaku & ginkaku. Relying messages to the Shinobi World not once but twice. Sakura helped deafeat Sasori and healed many people during war arc. Tenten she did help in rescue arc. War arc destoryed kakazu's mask. If Mei didn't become Mizukage her village would still be known as "blood mist village". Pretty damn helpful in war arc.

Why do people never have the same energy for the male cast character when there about the same as the female cast?

The fanbase can be bias alot for characters.

Let's be honest after Sasuke retrival arc most of these male charaters(From konoha) didn't have much after this just little moments after part 2.

Kiba, Shino, Rock Lee, Choji & yes even Neji because he really didn't do much in Rescue arc. ( I'd say choji & rock lee did a bit more in war arc)

He said Sakura would be a terrible woman if switch to loving someone else... Sexist!

Kishimoto : Quite a long time ago in fact. But i have to admit that there was a time when we did thought about Sakura, you know. But after all this time, she would just change her heart all of sudden to Naruto, this would make her a terrible woman…I think she is wholeheartly about Sasuke.

Why did he say that?

Because she fell for Sasuke in part 1 she even confessed to him and kept rejecting other guys, it became more than just a crush.

Kage Summit Arc:

"The hero who defended our village, right now everyone loves you, i’m simply one of them’’.

Her falling for Naruto out of nowhere because he's a nice guy & the guy you truly love a criminal.

This is what he's talking about the sudden switch up. (this chapter was released around the time or later during this interview)

Even Kakashi says that Sakura is still in love with Sasuke this whole time, he knows his team better than anyone

Kishimoto is a sexist, a guy can get over his crush and girl cannot.

What about Ino? Didnt she have a crush on Sasuke?

Ino got over her's crush ( although she had a crush on both Sai & Sasuke too she does have a type lol) for something better.

There's only female healers in Naruto that so sexistist!

I wonder who the hell said that before we've seen many male healers before its just show that Tsunade, Shizune & Sakura are meant to be top dogs in the field.

Exam: ch 66-88

Tsunade Arc: Yes Orochimaru & Kabuto are "dark" healers ( Mostly Orochimaru, Kabuto sometimes randomly would heal Hinata & Sakura)

Reterival Arc: chapter 235 see both men & women medics

War Arc : ch 536-539

So many more but I digress.

The Plot holes in Naruto

If you read the manga there's not many plot holes in it.

the biggest one is when hashirama died... becasue when did he die in the manga?

War arc was bad, "Neji died by sticks."

Like most of yall wasn't hyping that shit up.

Acting like he didn't get sniped before by Kidomaru with a long ass wodden stick.

"Bad writing it, didn't make sense, It's Hinata's fault neji died. all she cared about was Naruto's big hand."

It's only bad writing when you don't like it huh?

After part 1 Neji is just a side character & was never important untill war arc. He never had a big impact on the plot until war arc.

In the manga they made it very damn clear that the spikes were too fast & the natural reaction was to be a shield.

Let's make this clear NO ONE told Neji to jump in the way!

It's not Hinata fault Neji died, he choose to died to protect his loved ones aka Naruto & Hinata. This circled backed to his character development.

I'm not going over this again there were so many great written answers like this one:

(Most of who say that interview was by someone telling someone or read a summary of it on a damn Naruto wiki page.)

Also another great one on quora Atla Jamir on why Neji shield Hinata.

Kaguya was a terribly written villian

Well, I wouldn't say bad villian. If you watch Boruto they go more in depth with her character & why she even did that in Naruto. But I will say he could have went deeper into her story instead of making mini flashbacks or one panel explantion.

Now that all I got for now I probably will go back & edit later.

#Youtube #naruto #interview #interviews #masashi kishimoto #kishimoto

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dippedanddripped · 3 years

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Old Nollywood aesthetics and fashion may be considered trendy today, but the films were not always so well-regarded. In the 90s and early 2000s, when these movies were made and watched in parlours across Nigerian homes as they were shot, straight-to-video, they were considered as bad entertainment, or ‘low culture’. To watch and enjoy Nollywood films was to celebrate mediocrity. But today, nostalgic young Millennials and Gen Zers are overlooking the jarring audio, grainy pictures, and sometimes hammy acting, to appreciate not only the grooming and style of the actors, but the original and diverse stories that reflect unique Nigerian experiences.

It was for this reason that sisters Tochi and Ebele Anueyiagu started Nolly Babes, a nostalgic Instagram account dedicated to celebrating the cinematic period’s women. Started in December 2017, their first post was of Nollywood’s biggest star Genevieve Nnaji; a still taken from 2004 film Sharon Stone In Abuja, directed by Adim Williams. Nnaji plays the titular character, a sexually liberated young woman who uses her beauty and charm to ensnare unassuming men into doing her bidding.

The account is an ode to the female characters of old Nollywood who were often portrayed as warning examples. The storylines were steeped in moral principles rooted in the patriarchal culture and the dominant Christian religion of Southern Nigeria. A large number of the female characters were considered immoral because they kissed other women, challenged men, smoked and drank, or wore mini skirts. Today, Nolly Babes and similar accounts are reimagining these women, taking their scenes out of the moralistic context of the films, and turning them into iconic feminist personas.

The first time Nollywood content seeped into the mainstream internet consciousness can be traced back to 2017 when videos of Nollywood’s favourite comedic duo Chinedu Ikedieze and Osita Iheme, better known as Aki and Pawpaw, rose to popularity due mostly to the influence of a now-defunct Twitter account @nollywoodroll ran by Nicole, a woman based in Brazil.

Their memes became the go-to reaction videos for expressing a wide range of emotions: joy, disappointment, sadness, frustration. The appeal was in seeing children making mischief or in adult situations – drinking beer and smoking cigars, wooing bigger women, or in oversized suits shouting instructions at people twice their size. Although both Ikedieze and Iheme were in their 20s in the early 2000s when most of the films were made, they mostly played children because of their body stature. By 2019, the memes had achieved such virality that brands like Rihanna’s Fenty would use them for social media clout.

Theodora Imaan Beauvais is the curator of Yung Nollywood, another archive of clips and stills from old Nollywood paying homage to its controversial female characters, after screenshotting moments from Nollywood she found “appealing or inspirational”. Yung Nollywood is remarkably distinct from Nolly Babes for its subtitling of the films’ stills from Nollywood films, something she attributes to Tumblr. While the idea to give witty captions to the actors’ facial expressions came from watching Netflix. “I thought, ‘If someone could describe Nollywood reactions in short phrases it’d be an art form on its own,’ and I became that someone.’”

In December 2019, Tochi and Ebele hosted a Nollywood-themed party in Lagos. Nollywood actor and musician Nonso Bassey attended the party dressed in a two-piece jean set and bucket hat, a signature look of the bad boy/alpha male archetype, and a role reprised multiple times by older actors such as Hanks Anuku, Emeka Ike, and Jim Iyke. Since that party, Nonso has attended social functions and premieres in outfits that make a nod to the fashion choices of that era of Nollywood. He insists, though, that he isn’t cosplaying Nollywood characters of that era. “I’ve always been attracted to the idea of merging old world charm with a new school approach,” he said.

The party caused a cultural stir amongst Nigerians and Africans both at home and in the diaspora – every other week, there seems to be a Nollywood-themed party held either in Lagos or London. Take for instance friends and business partners Imani Okunubi and Aseosa Uwagboe, two Nigerian-British kids who grew up in the UK. Nollywood was one of the ways they could connect back to their roots. That experience informs their event brand, Lasgidi to London, targeted at Nigerians living in the UK. “We wanted to create events that were reminiscent of the Naija hall parties (Owambe) we attended as kids, as we don’t want to see that culture die,” Aseosa said. Their next owambe is a Nollywood-themed party and guests are expected to come dressed in their “best nolly Y2K aesthetic”.

Below, the Nolly Babes sisters talk about creating and hosting the first Nollywood-themed party and the cultural moment it has inspired.

How did that first event come about – please take me through it, from the planning to how it turned out?

Nolly Babes: From the inception of Nolly Babes, we knew we had to throw a party. Fashion is a huge part of what makes Nolly Babes different from other Nollywood-themed pages and we knew we were the only ones that could set Nolly Babes as the dress code and have people commit as they did. There are many iconic Nollywood scenes and scenarios. The daughter meeting her evil mother-in-law, the ominous visit to the Babalawo, the campus stroll – just the mere mention of these scenes evokes images that have been embedded in the minds of our fellow Nollywood enthusiasts. The party scene is probably the most iconic of them all. Whether it’s in a club, a mansion while mum and dad are out of town (but coming home early to crash the whole thing) or poolside, the Nolly Babes party scene has its staples: mad music, dancing, and sick outfits.

December in Lagos is notoriously hectic. On each day, there are day parties, beach hangouts, concerts, and we just knew we had to be a part of it. Our flyer was the first thing we made sure was done right, and that has been replicated (but never duplicated) many many times. We went through at least six drafts of that until we got the flyer to be a realistic replica of the home video covers from the golden era. The DJs Kemi Lijadu and vIVENDII Sounds understood the assignment and played music from the Nolly Babes era. We’re talking Tony Tetuila, Mo Hitz, Wande Coal, Plantation Boyz… We curated a special cocktail menu: Genny Colladas, Jim Iyke’s Hard Lemonade, MargaRita Dominic, and our Lagos Island Iced Tea, in tribute to Nollywood stars Genevieve Nnaji, Jim Iyke, and Rita Dominic respectively. We had a video projection on the famous red wall at Nok showing a mashup of emblematic scenes. We were partying while seeing images of a young Jim Iyke dressed just like many of the attendees were dressed. It was magical! We have an event we’re planning in New York for the summer – it’s going to be a madness.

Did you envisage it becoming the cultural movement it’s now become?

Nolly Babes: We really didn’t. We hosted the party because we knew people were taking inspiration from our page for styling jobs and music video treatments, and wanted to give everyone a chance to recreate some of their favourite looks. Now every week we see people planning Nollywood-themed parties and sending people to our page for references. It’s awesome. Toke Makinwa even recently attended a Nolly Babes-themed party and she was dressed as a character we have immortalised – Regina Askia in President’s Daughter. She killed it! Even though the character wasn’t referenced, it was clear as day and it was awesome to see that she pulled it off! Honestly, when we see people really pay attention to detail and execute the theme well it’s so, so dope.

How has TikTok helped grow Nollywood's influence? You posted a scene from Girls Cot, the famous “you stink with poverty” clip on TikTok and it went viral and birthed these recreations even by non-Africans.

Nolly Babes: We’re just happy to see that another aspect of Nollywood that we champion – the iconic scenes and one-liners – is also resonating across the world. We see Nolly Babes as an archival work and as much as we focus on beauty and looks on Instagram, it’s nice to be able to point people in the direction of the scenes that are forever embedded in our brains. These are scenes we recreated in jest ourselves before there was even a Nolly Babes to begin with, so to see it catching on TikTok is exciting and a new frontier for us to fully explore. I think what distinguishes Nolly Babes from other Nollywood pages and what contributes to our TikTok success is that we really watch Nollywood movies. We grew up watching these movies and continue to do so now so we can capture those moments in films that the casual consumer or poster of Nollywood content might not.

What are your thoughts on Nollywood’s influence on the Alté scene? Music videos of artists such as Lady Donli and Odunsi nod to the aesthetic and fashion styles of that era.

Nolly Babes: Nollywood, and specifically the aesthetic we have shone a spotlight on, is probably one of the biggest influences in terms of visuals in that scene right now. I have never seen so many Eucharia (Anunobi) eyebrows on TV and we love it! It’s awesome to see our images and scenes being used in treatments and storyboards. If we’re being candid, we think it would be great if we got the chance to step into our stylist/creative direction bag and help with the execution of the aesthetic.

“The bottom line is really that Nolly Babes has brought what was already an international cultural influence to the modern social media realm with a new lens” – Nolly Babes

How far do you see Nollywood's influence on pop culture, beyond Nigeria and Africa?

Nolly Babes: When we moved to New York we found our Dominican and South American friends had also grown up watching Nollywood films. The bottom line is really that Nolly Babes has brought what was already an international cultural influence to the modern social media realm with a new lens. Nollywood clips were online everywhere – but it was always in a comedic way. Aki and PawPaw are meme gods now, and that’s because their expressions transcend cultural boundaries. Black Twitter eats that stuff up.

Nolly Babes chooses to center the beauty, style, and iconic imagery, even the home decor with our #NollyDecor hashtag of the golden era of Nollywood. We share the makeup, accessories, fashion, iconic phrases, and scenes in a way that isn’t just comedic but inspirational and aesthetically groundbreaking. I see Nollywood being at the centre of this Y2K resurgence that is happening all over the world, from TV to runways and fashion collections. That era is coming back around and, this time, the Black experience is being revisited and centered in a way it wasn’t back in the late 90s and 2000s. (Black people) were always the originators of the trends and this time they’re tapping into the source and Nollywood, particularly the era we celebrate as Nolly Babes, is a great resource for that.

Follow Nolly Babes on Instagram

#nollybabes #nollywood #late 90s fashion #y2k fashion #womens streetwear

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daetaechanster · 4 years

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Deku, Bakugo and Kirishima

Okay I wanna preface this post by saying first, this isn’t a post about Bakudeku (you’re itching to call me out, I feel it, but don’t do it) and while I will be mentioning the Kiribaku ship, it will be me mostly mentioning the FANS of this ship and the ideals around that ship. If this doesn’t apply to you, please gloss over it. This post was caused by once again, seeing SOME Kiribaku’s speak absolute garbage all over Tiktok. Wrong garbage mind you. Now let me start..

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When was it, that fans suddenly decided that for Kiribaku to be a ship, that suddenly people had to downplay Deku’s importance in Bakugo’s life. Yes, Bakugo use to bully Deku and he was wrong for it, he was a little fucking shithead for it. But that was in chapter one of the manga and season 1 episode 1 of the show. Where are we now? About to hit chapter 305 (leaks today whoo) and we’re about hit season 5. Things of changed, Bakugo has changed, and if you can pick up what Horikoshi is putting down, then you KNOW things have changed in their relationship.

Now what these Tiktoker Kiribaku’s like to claim is that Bakugo doesn’t care about Deku, doesn’t even LIKE Deku. That the only person Bakugo cares about is Kirishima... you can headcanon all you like that Kirishima is Bakugo’s most important person. You can 100% believe that and use it for your fanon content. But that is all it is, headcanon and fanon, because it isn’t true. And BECAUSE it isn’t true and is fanon, Do not come at people who believe CANON FACT and tell them they’re wrong and your headcanon is right.

Why does Bakugo’s relationship with Deku have to be diminished for Kiribaku’s ship to flourish? Why? When did that become a thing? because a LOT of people spread around this garbage like it’s fact.

Now i’m going to get into the major point these Tiktoker Kiribaku’s made, and what I think is the worst take i’ve ever heard. Ahem.

‘Kirishima cared about Bakugo the most which is why he went to Kamino to save him, and Bakugo cared about Kirishima the most which is why he took his hand’

I’m going to get into how WRONG this statement is.

The person who found out that Bakugo was going to be kidnapped was Deku. Deku found out during his fight with Muscular and after the fight was over, his first thought was to get Kota to safety so he could save Kacchan. He told the pussycat lady to alert everyone to Kacchan’s possible kidnapping, which is where Kirishima heard about it.

As you’d expect, Kirishima got upset and instantly wanted to go out and help protect Bakugo. Why? because he is his FRIEND. Canonly they’re not together so we are going forward with their platonic relationship, which is canon. He wanted to save his friends, as did others in the group, but he wanted to save him most. But he couldn’t. (Something we later learned was a trigger for Kirishima in season 4)

Because Deku was out on the field, he was able to go and try to save Bakugo. That boy ran around, in absolute pain to the point that some of the class commented on the fact he should be unconcious right now. But that didn’t matter because he wanted to save Bakugo. And he tried his hardest, despite being in pain and his arms not working, Bakugo gets taken, telling Deku ‘Not to come’. I like to believe he said that because Deku was injured and WOULD be killed following him, because Bakugo knows Deku would follow him into fire. Like Deku knows Bakugo best, Bakugo also knows Deku best (minus the whole looking down on him stuff, wtf Bakugo.) But because that was never established, we’ll leave that up to interpretation.

Something these Tiktokers used in their arguement was that Kirishima was the one who decided to save Bakugo, nobody else. Which.. just isn’t true at all. Another thing they said was DEKU DIDN’T PLAN TO SAVE HIM. Again, not true.

Lets go back to before Deku was in hospital and Bakugo was kidnapped. When Bakugo was gone, Deku SCREAMED in absolute DISPAIR (these tiktokers also commented that Deku hates Bakugo and all I can do is LOL, won’t even entertain that.) Deku was in such ABSOLUTE DISPAIR that he instantly went into shock. Shock, that he said, lasted for the 2 whole days in hospital, he couldn’t remember a thing. The only moment he remembers WHY he was in shock, was when the whole class were there and Todoroki told him about it.

Also at this point, while Deku is in shock, Kirishima and Todoroki had 2 whole days with a clear head to decide they were going to save Bakugo, consequences be damned.

What happened after remembering Kacchan was taken? Deku came out of his shock and burst into tears. He failed to save Kacchan and it HURT him. And then Kirishima mentions the rescue.. the rescue that he AND TODOROKI PLANNED. Do people not remember that while Kirishima had decided he was going to save Bakugo, that Todoroki ALSO had the same plan?? That if Kirishima hadn’t intended to save him, Todoroki would have mentioned the plan to Deku himself???

I 100% believe, as should ANYONE who knows Deku as a character and as someone who’s always cared about Bakugo despite him being an asshat, would have also come up with a plan to save Bakugo if he hadn’t been in hospital with damaged arms and in complete shock and disassociation.

I now want to point out a panel that people seem to forget:

For people to believe Deku doesn’t care as much as Kirishima does about Bakugo, how is it your boy is saying the complete OPPOSITE statement???

Now skip forward to finding Bakugo and AFO. While Kirishima (and Todoroki) had decided they were going to rescue Bakugo, it was Deku who came up with the plan to get Bakugo out of there. Deku planned the best possible way to get Bakugo out of there and not damage his pride in the meantime. Deku could have been selfish and have reached out for Bakugo, because we all know Deku wanted to have been the one to reach out his hand. But he didn’t because Deku knows Bakugo best and didn’t want to possibly upset him.

Bakugo, who feels incredibly insecure when it comes to Deku, how do you think he’d have reacted if Deku saved him A SECOND TIME? First the sludge villian and now Kamino? I’d wager that Deku would expect any chance of reconsilliation between himself and Bakugo to have died that moment if he’d reached out to save him.

Lets be honest, Bakugo would have taken ANYONES hand to get out of there and i’ll explain why that is true in a moment.

Another thing people seem to forget is that Bakugo didn’t tell Kirishima he was the one who should hold his hand out. Bakugo didn’t tell Kirishima that he would only take his hand. No, DEKU said this. Deku who knows Bakugo better than ANYONE. He knew, because currently his and Bakugo’s relationship was rocky, that he couldn’t risk Bakugo’s pride getting in the way of the rescue. So DEKU chose Kirishima to reach out his hand, because Kirishima isn’t someone Bakugo feels threatened by. Deku is Bakugo’s biggest insecurity, him reaching out was a risk Deku wasn’t going to place over saving Bakugo.

Again, Bakugo didn’t mention ANY of this, he didn’t even know. So how anyone came to the conclusion that canonly, this meant that Bakugo believed Kirishima to be more important than anyone else I will never know.

And when they did save him, Horikoshi put in a VERY BIG CLUE that a lot of people gloss over.

That teeth grit there was put INTENTIONALLY to show that even with Kirishima’s hand out.. he still didn’t want to take it, he didn’t want to have been saved. This is why I believe that he would have taken ANYONE’S hand. For anime fans, this teeth grit was cut out to instead focus on how close Shigaraki got to grabbing Bakugo.

Bakugo isn’t stupid, he knew he couldn’t stay. For one, he already mentioned that he was in All Mights way by being there. So he HAD NO CHOICE but to take Kirishima’s hand. And when he was saved, he addressed EVERYONE for saving him, not just Kirishima.

Now, for non manga readers, you will have to wait until season 5 to see Bakugo and Deku’s relationship flourish and I don’t want to spoil you. I’m so excited for people to see what their relationship is going to turn into and why it’s one of the most popular canon relationships in the show (and how it’s grown to be one of the biggest ships)

I will give you this though, to indicate just how much Deku means to Bakugo now without spoiling it for anyone. Anyone whos read the manga should know how Bakugo feels about Deku.

For anyone who feels that Bakugo taking Kirishima’s hand indicated how important they were to each other, i’d like to hope you have the same energy for that cover for Vol.29 of the manga drawn by Horikoshi himself. If Bakugo went back, he would have taken Deku’s hand all along. At the river, in Kamino, during the fight. Bakugo wants to hold Deku’s hand now, he wants Deku’s friendship, he wants Deku, and that is platonically canon.

The last thing I want to say is that Kiribaku as a ship can still exist without ignoring how much Bakugo and Deku mean to each other. Kirishima and Bakugo are friends, maybe even best friends canonly (though honestly i’d argue that Kaminari is closer to Bakugo but that’s my personal opinion.)

Deku’s best friends are Iida and Uraraka, but Bakugo is still the person he loves and cares about the most.

Bakugo’s best friends are Kirishima and Kaminari, but Deku is still the person he loves and cares about the most.

Do you see people push Bakugo down to make IzuOcha work? no.

Wanna headcanon that Kirishima is Bakugo’s most important person? Go right ahead. But don’t push it on others as fact when it’s not.

If you have to come to other peoples spaces and force your headcanon on them and disminish the utterly beautiful relationship thats blossoming between Bakugo and Deku, then maybe you shouldn’t be in the fandom. Horikoshi wants you to know how important these boys are to each other and if you can’t see that, don’t comment publically because you sound dumb.

Ship Kiribaku, but do not attack others for things that you have WRONG.

Tldr; Stop erasing Bakugo and Deku’s canon relationship to big up your Kiribaku ship and don’t force that on other people.

#bakudeku #kiribaku #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugo #deku #kirishima #katsuki bakugo #izuku midoriya #eijiro kirishima #bkdk #decchan #bakushima

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evilwickedme · 3 years

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ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

#leverage #leverage meta #leverage redemption #leverage ot3 #parker leverage #alec hardison #sophie devereaux #eliot spencer #breanna casey #harry wilson #mine

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

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Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

#survey #surveys #random questions

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my-practiceblog · 3 years

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If I could start all over

This is going to be a long one. And it has no practical purpose, just getting my thoughts out. I saw a post on Facebook a while back that asked if you would choose $1 million now, or start your life over at 12 years old, knowing all that you do now. The obvious choice, assuming you’re trying to build your best life and don’t mind reliving all those years, is of course to go back to 12. Now middle school/high school was not the best tie for me, but reading this I just keep thinking about what I would and wouldn’t change if I went back. There are some things, like my camp, that I enjoyed, but looking back didn’t have any sort of positive impact on my life, where replacing it with something else could have. There are other things, like where I went to school, that while I am sure there are schools out there that would have been better for me, but I don’t think I’d be willing to risk my friendships and experiences I had there without getting a glimpse of what things would look like if I replaced them.

So I am going to go into all that I can think of, what I would and would not change. I am going to think of this in a way that I have all the knowledge I have today (and hopefully also the confidence and social skills, because those were highly lacking before college), but still feel the age that I am so that I can have friends and relationships with people my own age without it being weird.

Let’s see what’s first. I think 7th grade, the only big thing I would have liked to change was my friendships. Currently, I speak to no one I went to high school with. And I am perfectly fine with that. However, I think if I had some better friends when I was in middle school/high school it would have been a much more enjoyable experience for me. I think the only friend I definitely should have dropped at that time was this girl Sarah. We had been friends I think since fourth grade (maybe earlier?) and in real life our friendship ended within a year of graduating from college. But I am pretty sure it was as early as 7th grade that she stopped being a good friend towards me, and I think ending that sooner would have been very good for me. Then there are a bunch of girls that I was friendly with, who I think could have been actual friends of mine, even if those friendships still wouldn’t have lasted past graduation.

The next thing I would work on at that time would be hobbies. I’d like to take up a hobby that could somehow monetarily benefit me at this point, maybe ceramics? I feel like that’s something that I would enjoy, and after enough years of doing it I would be able to sell pieces that I made. Or maybe photography. Graduation shots and likewise could bring in some nice money. I also wish I started dance lessons (would have been much better prepared for TikTok) and improved my swimming skills so that I could become a lifeguard when I turned 16. Currently I try swimming laps for exercise, but according to my mom, no one who watched me swim would ever guess I grew up with a pool. Oops. But I think being a lifeguard is a fun summer job for a kid, that also pays well, so if I started developing my skills when I was 12 I would be more than prepared for the lifeguard exam at 16. Maybe even prior to that I would get my scuba license (apparently something you only have to be 10 for a junior license, and 15 for a real license) which is something I’m looking into getting now, but have not found the time.

Last thing I think I’d focus on starting in 7th grade (or 8th, depending on timing of seasons, but I could at least start developing some skills in 7th) is joining school sports. It looks like all of the sports I wish I did may have been in the fall, but the number one sport I wish I joined was tennis. Again, something I’m looking into now, but I need to find time and someone to teach me. I also don’t want to have to pay someone to teach me. So many things I wish I learned when my parents were willing to pay for them, haha. But I think it’s a great skill to have because it’s a good workout, it’s social (if you play doubles, or casually against a friend) and it’s the perfect sport for when I am someday a country club wife. The next sport I wish I did was volleyball. I remember I tried the first day of try outs and the coach said we would get bruises and I was just like ABSOLUTELY not. And then years later I told my mom that I was mad at her for not forcing me to continue. I just think it would have been a fun team to be apart of. Also, I could have used volleyball skills both social in college at the sand volleyball court we had outside my dorm, and now in one of the social leagues they have in the city. Besides those two, maybe in the other season I would have tried track and field or lacrosse, but honestly I probably would have hated both, so probably not worth it.

Adding on to the sports section, there was one sport that I did for a season, and would 100% change. It was 8th or 9th grade I was on the JV softball team, and I would have never done it if I knew how it was going to turn out. This was not long after I got my braces off, and I was really bad. Not only did I hate it, but once during practice I was having a catch and missed. It hit me in the mouth, and slightly shifted my teeth that I had just spent years, and my parents spent so much money to finally get perfect. So yes, joining that sport was a mistake, and not one I would make again.

Also not sports related, but just wanted to add this in. I did a school play in 8th grade, and that was actually a very good experience for me. I am not sure whether the sports I would be doing would overlap with the play, but even if it did I definitely want to do both. That play is one of the only things I remember from back then that I specifically would not want to change.

Anyway, this post is getting so long, and I have much more to add, but I feel like I can end part one here. I feel like these things are mostly ongoing until I graduate from high school, while the rest of my things might be more specific, at specific times.

#personal #personal blog #personal post #if I could start over #changes #word vomit

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lovelybrittxo · 4 years

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where do I even start?

I’m literally only writing this for myself since typing a whole novel out on the computer is way easier than writing this in a physical journal which is what I normally do. I come to Tumblr though when I have way too much to say and don't know how to say it. I just need to get it off my chest before I blow up. so here it goes...

shall we start at the beginning? I grew up in a decently religious household. my mom, sister and I went to church almost every Sunday with all our aunts and uncles. don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and whatnot and I wouldn't change my upbringing in the church for anything. but it may have suppressed my views on the world. something my aunt said to me a few years ago has stuck to brain ever since and I can't seem to shake it. she told me that she actually believes that being gay is a sin and that you can love the sinner but not the sin. so like, she believes if you're gay, you can be gay but don't act upon it/the sin. she believes, for example, that being trans is a mental illness. like, I just can't wrap my head around that. and honestly, she spoke with so much conviction and “sense” that she actually had me fooled to think the same way for a hot second. and then to learn that my other “cool” aunt also believes this... kinda sad. both of those aunts have literally talked down upon family (and our family is very tight knit) and people they love... what would they do if they ever found out about me?

ive felt a lot of feelings ever since I was young. mostly towards males... but also towards females. I just thought the female part was me wanting to be like them or be their friend and just have them like me and accept me as a chill person to be around. but fast forward to a couple years ago. I was bombarded (in a good way) by social media flaunting (in a good way lol) different sexualities and things. its hard to describe but that “world” was just becoming more prominent to me I guess.

I started to try and put my religious upbringing in the background so I could focus on trying to figure out who I really was. ive been doing this for at least a couple years now. and although im still trying to really figure it out, right now half way through 2020, I think im getting closer to an answer. and guess what has helped me the most? tiktok lmao! no but for real, the internet is an amazing place for discovery in any form. after I started to get into real communities online (like kpop and penpaling) i’ve never felt more connected to the internet and it allowed me to try and find real personal help... if that makes any sense. i’ve just tried to put myself out there and not just google my feelings but piece together a map from asking real people over the Internet here and there to try and figure out who I am.

sometime last year (or maybe earlier) I found a YouTube video of a popular creator retelling her coming out story. I just randomly commented on the video about how I had been feeling, not to get a reply but just to comment. but then I actually got a real reply (not from the creator but still a nice person). they said something along the lines of me basically being bicurious. I had never in my life heard of such a word and I had thought that this person was just making it up. one google search later I found out it was a real thing. although at the time of first looking it up I was still very confused about the word... still kinda am? lol. however, just a couple weeks ago I had seen a post somewhere (an ad I think selling pride flags) saying there was an official bicurious flag. I was in shock. I thought it was a scam, but its not, it’s real (I just don't think it’s talked about very often cause it doesn't seem like a solid sexuality that you can claim your entire life). but anyway.

now what i’m gonna say next I don't want to come off in the wrong way (you nonexistent person reading this lol), but I feel like dating a trans person brought me into that “world” a bit more. like, i had literally never met anyone who was trans before him or anyone who was gay or used a they/them pronoun... never. but in his world, all of that was common and normal. and this is where I don't want to come off wrongly... I don't wanna make it seem like because I dated a trans person i’m qualified to be included in the LGBT community now or to talk about LGBT stuff or whatever. I just think because I dated him, it opened up my shallow world a bit. especially because he’s open about it (on a side note I always loved looking at his huge trans flag above his bed. that was the first flag I had really ever memorized because of him. besides the rainbow one obviously lol). like, his best friend uses they/them pronouns, and although i’ve always been aware of that, i’ve only ever seen things about it through YouTube videos and whatnot. I had never had to actually use those pronouns for anyone I knew in real life until I met his best friend. like, everything I knew about that “world” had only been through online researching/consuming. i’d never experienced it in real life before.

I remember one night we talked about it a little. I knew he was bisexual and so I asked him if he’d ever dated a guy. he asked me if I would ever date a girl and i just said that I had always thought about it and that my tinder profile was set to find both genders. then we talked about pride since it was at the beginning of quarantine and we didn't know if parades were still gonna happen or not yet. he said I could always go as an ally because I told him I felt ashamed and like I shouldn't be allowed to attend a pride parade. (of course he reassured me I can go and he wasn't shocked about me liking both genders at all...he just said ‘nice’ lol)

I still have a little inkling in the back of my mind that I still shouldn't be able to attend though. honestly because I don't know what I would be attending as. I feel like an imposter. I don't want people thinking that im doing all this for attention or just because I dated one person in the LGBT community. i’ve been struggling with this for so long... but it just so happens that now at 27 years old im coming to terms with who I am. I just feel like because I didn't figure it out earlier that I’m not “worthy” of being included. I feel like such an outsider because no one’s “invited” me in yet lol because im still trying to figure it out.

and on the same note, I don't feel like i’m worthy because I still really don't have a solid answer. at the moment I just use bicurious because ive never dated a girl before. the trans guy ive been talking about has been the only person i’ve ever been romantically involved with. im serious. I made it 26 years without being with anyone in any type of way. I feel like I don't have the right to call myself bisexual. however, I feel a tiny bit more confident in using that label maybe after I do end up dating a girl in the future and not feel guilty about using it because that same guy calls himself bisexual but told me right out one day that he’s way more attracted to girls than guys and im in the same situation but opposite. the only difference at this point in time is that he’s dated both and I haven't. but thennnn on the other hand, do I even need to label myself at all right now??

even if I did wanna come out, I don't wanna do it until I really have a solid answer about my identity. i just feel like such a fraud or something because im trying to figure it out so late. and like, im going so over the top with my support this year because I feel like I should fit in and maybe im trying too hard? again, I just don't want people thinking its because I dated one trans guy and all of a sudden im huge into the LGBT community. it’s not like that. all of this is just helping me bring out my true self. ugh this is the part where it gets confusing to put into words. i’m aware and I have pure intentions. im just trying to figure out myself after a long time of trying to figure out myself lol

some days the research is overwhelming. there's so many facts and opinions and different people’s stories and labels. as crazy as it sounds I just want someone who’s been gay their whole life to come up and tell me “yup, your bisexual no doubt” lol or something like that. I guess I just want to be validated in my exploration. and i’ve seen random tiktok comments saying stuff like that, that validates me, but the difference is that their comments aren’t directed specifically to me. they don't know me personally. it’s hard to have a random social media comment resonate with me. honestly, and this may sound selfish and not right, but when I was talking to the guy I was seeing, I almost wish he just told me straight out what I was that day. but instead he said I could go to Pride as an ally. and that was probably just him being respectful and not forcing me to be anything, but it almost had the opposite effect on me. by saying I was an ally it felt like he was giving me that permanent label even after telling him I like guys and girls.... ya know?

something recently happened to me that really stuck with me and I was so happy. I have a penpal who is very southern Texas raised religious. she knows the Bible better than I do. I had posted a Pride doodle I did on my Instagram at the beginning of this month and she was the only one who personally responded with an encouraging and supportive dm. if she can support whole heartedly the LGBT community and still love God, then why can't I?? and that's when I trulyyyy knew that I was right and my aunt’s were wrong and I wasn't going insane lol

I wanted to buy a bicurious or pride flag recently. but then was torn when I saw the ally flag (which I also didn't know existed until recently) and the bisexual flag. I know they're just flags but it feels so solid?? like you buy one when you know what you are.... and I don't yet. so I ended up not buying one at all :/

again, there was no purpose to this post because I know no one is going to read it but I just had to type it out into the world so I didn't have to bottle it up anymore.

#lgbt #pride #pride 2020 #lgbt community #bisexual #bi curious #trans #transgender #questioning #sexuality #coming out #me #personal

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brainboys · 5 years

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[TOM HOLLAND, CISMALE, HE/HIM] have you seen QUINN WRIGHT around sedona? QUINN is a UNIVERSITY STUDENT/PART-TIME PIZZA DELIVERY GUY, but they’re also THE ENCYCLOPEDIA in the sedona sleuths, so you’ve probably seen them around the firehouse shed. they’re known for being QUICK-WITTED and EARNEST, but they’re also known to be GULLIBLE and IMPULSIVE. when they’re not at the shed, i can usually find them at the PIZZERIA. i can always recognize them by their untied shoelaces, a carefully curated pokemon card collection, adept fingers pressing away on a nintendo, the rush of exhaustion after being late and misplaced optimism.

biography, playlist, pinterest board & connections.

the encyclopedia: The brains of the group, they know loads of random facts that come in handy in the tightest of situations. They’re also probably the one doing the background research when needed.

B A S I C S :

name: quinn wright. nickname: quinn. age: twenty-two. date of birth: october 11th. place of birth: sedona, ka. gender: cismale. pronouns: he/him. sexuality: gay (not out).

P H Y S I C A L :

height: 173cm. build: slim. hair color: brown. eye color: brown. tattoos: none. piercings: none. preferred style of clothing: fashion is not a topic of interest to him, so he tends to lean towards comfort over style. he doesn’t go shopping for clothes often, so he rotates between a few graphic t-shirts, button-ups, and light sweaters for the summer. in winter, he wears over-sized hoodies and sweatpants as often as he can get away with it. he hopes people don’t notice, but he only owns two pairs of jeans and slightly over-sized dress pants for emergencies.

H E A L T H :

physical ailments: none. mental disorders: dyslexia, combined ADHD & battling with depression. smoker? no. drinker? socially. drug user? no. addictions: none. allergies: none.

P E R S O N A L I T Y :

zodiac signs: libra sun, gemini moon. mbti: enfp-t, the campaigner. hogwarts house: gryffindor. positive traits:

quick-witted: quinn is known for being quick on his feet, but that’s not only in a physical sense. when someone pushes him against a corner, whether it’s with a comment made to tease him or a new revelation during an investigation that throws them off, he’s sharp with a silver tongue rapier and speedily familiarizes himself with information, easily readjusting it into what he already has in a way that tends to get them out of difficult situations.

earnest: this is a trait he had to learn, for better or for worse. it’s something he actively forces himself to be in order to get anything done. since his mind tends to be scattered and he’s doing or thinking about doing five things at once, and then something else, he uses tactics he learned at therapy to focus on tasks he needs to get done and that includes having a lot of conviction for the things that other people can do with ease, like sitting down for long enough to finish a rough draft of an essay without getting distracted for a whole day. he applies this mostly to schoolwork and day-to-day necessities, but when they’re working on a new mystery, quinn sits himself down and does research on the background. this is something he genuinely enjoys doing, so he struggles less to focus on it.

friendly: while he doesn’t stray away from the sleuths, he has no problems making friends and talking to strangers outside of the group. he can be shy with new people and prefers being around those who he already knows, but if left alone at a party, he’ll have a new friend group in ten minutes.

negative traits:

gullible: quinn really is this tiktok. someone could tell him anything and he’d be like ‘ ok yeah why not ’ even though it’s an obvious lie. he takes everything at face value and rarely tries to see what’s behind people’s words. people have told him to stop being so trusting towards others, especially when they’re working on solving something, but quinn really does the same shit over and over because it’s in his nature to just trust people and not think to question their intentions.

impulsive: compliment him all you want about how smart he is, the only reason he’s got so much knowledge inside of his brain is that he has no impulse control and if he suddenly has the thought that he needs to know something about how the future might look like with self-operated cars, ways of murdering someone through poison, the algorithm behind rubix cubes or literally any topic under and beyond the sun, he’ll obsess over it for a few days. quinn gets hyperfixations because of his ADHD and they range from videogames to wildly specific points in history.

anxious: anxious counts as one of quinn’s primary moods, and sometimes anxiety comes right in the middle of a perfectly normal day if anything goes slightly wrong, like losing his favorite pen or realizing that he forgot to grab his lunch box before leaving the house that day. since quinn tries really hard to keep a schedule, he feels off whenever he forgets something on it and it brings down his whole mood. in stressful situations, quinn paces back and forth with anxiety, whispering to himself and trying to catch up with his brain. this usually means that he’s thinking really hard on finding a way to solve a situation, though sometimes he’ll be so anxious that it impedes him from thinking straight.

love language: physical touch & words of affirmation. hobbies: video games (lots of them), collecting pokemon cards, keeping up on scientific developments, researching the sleuth’s cases, running, murder mysteries and general mysteries, and whatever his new hyperfixation is. fears: not fitting in, failure, abandonment, needles.

B A C K G R O U N D , T D ; L R :

tw: mentions of cancer, death, and homophobia.

quinn basically grew up in queen’s pizzeria. that’s where his mom worked when he was a kid, so his dad would pick him up from school and drop him off there for the rest of his mom’s shift because he needed to go back to his own job and the pizzeria is where they allowed quinn to hang-out.

he struggled a lot with school and was labeled as a problem child. he hated doing school work and he fell behind in reading, but when quinn entered high-school, he was diagnosed with dyslexia and combined ADHD. by that time, his parents had already gotten divorced after spending quinn’s childhood poorly hiding their frequent fights. his mom also got diagnosed with cancer, and times were rough.

his dad remarried and quinn stayed with his mom throughout her illness. at one point, when the bills were too high even though he was working part-time at the pizzeria, he convinced his mom to let him go off his meds and join a sports team at school instead. it was to ease the financial strain off them, and it only helped a little bit.

quinn joined track and kept going to therapy. his mom had ups and downs but mostly downs, since medication would stop working after a while until they realized that they were only temporarily treating her cancer but they wouldn’t be able to cure it. it gave them time to prepare for her death, so they did.

his mom taught him what she could about living independently from her before she passed away, though quinn doesn’t think that any amount of preparation could prepare him for the grief that came.

he moved out of his childhood home and into his dads place with his new family, a stepmom and two stepsiblings. he lived in the basement, which was his choice, and quit his job at the pizzeria to focus on school and track full-time like he’d promised his mom. his dad has always been high-key homophobic so at some point in high school quinn dated the first girl who said yes because he was having doubts about his sexuality and he was afraid of it.

after graduating high school, quinn decided to pick up his old job again during the summer between graduation and his new year at sedona’s community college and he’s been working there ever since. he tries to ask his dad for as little as possible since he’s already paying for his tuitions. quinn wants to build a career in biochemical engineering, so he’s studying biology and hopes to transfer to the nearest university where they offer that degree even if it’s post-graduate.

he broke up with his girlfriend after graduating high-school and honestly his dad’s going to be homophobic no matter what so forcing himself into a relationship he didn’t want was just toxic for both parties involved and he’d never do it again, especially because he let it go on for so long.

and that’s it for this part ! his biography has everything much more coherently laid out but tbh it’s kinda long so !!

H E A D C A N O N S :

quinn is really enthusiastic about pokemon so if ur thinking of a gift, u can’t go wrong with anything related to it. it’s been his favorite show and video games since he was a child so there’s a lot of nostalgia tied to it.

quinn has a ton of game apps on his phone and he rarely uses social media. whenever he’s bored and sitting around, he prefers playing a game rather than scrolling through a feed. he also carried around his nintendos... the nintendo console depends on which game he’s playing but he’s often seen with the 3ds or switch.

whenever someone interrupts him, whether it’s mid-sentence, mid-homework, mid-whatever-task, they’ll always get his ‘oh shit’ face because he knows it’ll be hard to focus on whatever he was doing again. if his thoughts or sentences are interrupted, he 100% won’t pick up where he left off unless someone reminds him.

quinn’s often seen with headphones on because he prefers to listen to books since reading is a whole ass task that requires a lot of focus that he doesn’t have and dyslexia absolutely makes things worse. when texting, auto-complete is his savior.

quinn has loved dinosaurs ever since he read jane yolen’s children's books in primary school. if it has a dinosaur on it, he’ll buy it.

he hates the way alcohol tastes but he thinks that drinking is cool so he won’t tell anyone about it. he honestly doesn’t even drink to get drunk because he’s a good boy but if holding a beer makes him look like he fits in, he’s going to hold a beer.

quinn... tries to fit in. he’s friendly by nature but he doesn’t think that’s enough. it might have to do with the comments his dad used to make about homosexuality that made him feel like he has to fit a certain mold or else he won’t be accepted by others.

he’s known he was gay since high-school but he has only really dated a girl. he’s afraid of being intimate with a boy because he knows that’s what he wants but he has been suppressing that part of himself and thinks that he still needs to suppress it because of his dad.

the reason he got re-hired at the pizzeria is that the owner has a quinn-shaped soft spot, not because he’s good at the job. quinn has the tendency to be late on deliveries and anyone who tries to get free pizzas will get mouthfuls from him about how it’ll come out of his paycheck and please please please just pay for this pizza i swear i won’t be late next time.... but guess what ? he’s late next time.

anddddd i think i’ll leave it at that !! i’m hella excited to plot with everyone so check out his wanted connections list n i’m sure we can work something out !!!!!!!!!

#i.

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dreamescapeswriting · 2 years

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Yes yes good for them!! The happy couple <33 I havent played minecraft in a while but i used to play it constantly before shit went down with an ex bff of mine, then i just stopped playing since I had no one to play it with. But I really enjoyed playing it when I used to spend every day on it with my crappy laptop. I need to play it again. Genshin impact is so much fun though!! If you decide to try it and stick with it I'd like to know since it does have co op. I grew up with pokemon so i've played it for a long ass time, theres a new game coming out but i also reccomend getting legends arceus as its addicting !! Really addicting and adds a new twist to the game that isnt collecting 8 gym badges and becoming the champion. ooohhh, that sounds interesting I should definately look into the book. I remember being a book worm up until like high school, I was reading a lot of the time as its the only thing I could do as I didnt get a phone until freshman year of high school. There's a series I started but I havent finished quite yet. But one thing I remember in high school I borrowed a book from a friend(they later let me keep the book), it's a book meant for little kids to read but I enjoyed it despite the fact I tend to read novels than books like it, and I even remember the teacher's aide telling me that I could read a more higher up book than that, i didnt really pay any mind to it i just enjoyed reading the book as a sort of break from what I normally read. I remember reading the harry potter series in like one school year back in middle school, while only reading the books at school and on the way home from school, never at home(it was my first time reading them.) The theory just appeared in my head on the topic of sweet home and it just sort of made sense to me, especially with how the series showed that not all monsters are bad so there had to of been a reason why not all of em are bad. Yea, but I think Stupid Cool is now my favorite Dawn song, i love it way too much at this very moment. I dont really listen to Jessi so I dont really know any of her songs. OH! Another solo artist I like is Alexa, especially her song bomb. Two more groups I like are KARD and OMEGA X. And I agree TXT's songs are BOPS, i actually have 4 of their albums as well. I dont really care for grammar in casual talk tbh, like it makes no sense to be grammically correct with everything when you're just talking in a normal conversation (like if the grammar is very bad then i'd be a bit annoyed but i typically dont give af about grammar unless its in writing.)

Awh!1 I try to play alone but I always end up getting bored T-T I think that's why I'm also bored on Stardew Valley, I'm going to try and convince a friend of mine to start playing on it with me so we can make a farm together haha! Awwh! I grew up watching the Pokemon show and playing a couple of games, I remember playing it on the DS whenever we would go on road trips 😭😂

Honestly, its a series I recommend a lot! My penpal suggested it to me and I've been hooked!!! It's such a good series, it's fantasy too which is nice because it's not normally a genre that I tend to read. I tend to read a lot of smut now, on my kindle mostly haha.It's so sweet that you have some good memories of reading 🥺🥺 Harry potter is for sure one of my favourite series. I have a Felix Felicis bottle tattooed on my arm haha I'm working on getting some more book related ones

I love the theory so much, I had to send it to my friend so that she could look into it as well! She loves it!

ALEXA!! I love her! I followed her on Tiktok and I've been in love ever since!!! There's so many people and groups that I love!!! T-T

Same here!!! I don't tend to focus on spelling and grammar unless I'm writing for you guys on here but other than that I'm spelling stuff wrong all of the time.

#m answered #lovely anon

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gengars-exorcism · 4 years

Text

7/14/20 - 11:25am

I never write usually this much in one day, but I guess with the aid of modern technologies it makes it easier to. I still prefer the physical book though.

I couldn’t sleep. I actually woke up at 9 finally because I was just annoyed with falling asleep and waking up 25 minutes later.

I shouldn’t be upset by this, but I am. I want to focus on why the happiness of someone I care about is upsetting me. On the surface obviously it’s because I cared for her romantically and she’s with someone but is it really that? Or am I just mad at myself because I had a full year and a half to make a move and I didn’t, or am I upset because it wouldn’t have happened at all, even if I did make a move. I think today will be like any other day recently:

1) eat a raisin bagel

2) stay in my room and watch sad anime

3) cry

4) maybe play some call of duty or smash bros

I hate being sad but I love waking up to a grey sky. It’s beautiful. Rain and grey skies usually are linked to being sad but for me they’re always linked to being happy. I’d say that “oh my mind is just hard wired differently” but I know a plenty of people who think the same thing, one of them to be her. What I’m getting to is that this morning I was greeted to a reminder of my inept decision making.

It probably was never meant to be. Honestly. I should drop it. I have to drop women from the eqation. *Loving women I should add.

I get asked to fuck regularly. I wouldn’t say often, but a good amount. I used to think I was ugly, I still think I’m average but I wouldn’t say ugly anymore. I’m not atttactive, but I’m not ugly. I lost weight which was nice, I thought finally I can keep someone around. Turns out- it’s not the weight.

I’m just too much. I don’t want to just have one night stands though, I want to love someone, I want to be loved. I want to wake up next to someone and got to bed next to them when I come home. It’s cheesy but it what I want.

Mostly though I want someone to understand me. I feel so alone all the time. The last person I dated I had to break up with quickly. It was just weird timing and scenario, matter of fact I don’t think I’d consider it a relationship, just a mess. My highschool sweetheart however, she accepted me for who I was. She made me feel really safe and loved. I just have a feeling, no, I know I won’t find that again. I know I’ll never be able to feel that again. It sounds stupid but I know I won’t... and it’s no ones fault but my own.

I really hurt her. I didn’t beat her or assault her. I certainly didn’t rape her or anything amongst those lines, but I was in highschool and I said hurtful things. I was scared of a lot of things that were happening and instead of learning out of fear I lashed out due to fear. Not who I am today. I cheated. I kissed 2 girls at a party. Yes it was probably 4 years ago give or take, yes I’ve learnt my lesson. I was drunk but I could have said no. That’s why I don’t drink much today.

Regardless I know I’ve messed up and everyone can have a cool anime redemption arc but I just don’t feel like I deserve it, not only that, I can’t move on because no one I like emotionally wants an emotional connection... They want to fuck because I’m cute or just be my friend because I’m a good friend.

Also I think the “being tall with blue eyes is an advantage in dating” thing is a hoax lol no one cares. Nor should they.

I don’t want to sound like those guys who are like “I want a woman who’s not just beautiful, but smart” acting like women are mostly stupid, because they’re obviously not. I think what retards like that are trying to say is they want a woman that’s not only stunning but fits their core values and morals, which isn’t special because that’s what literally most people want on this planet. That’s what I want too. I don’t want one night stands (not saying they’re bad, just not my cup of tea) I want a undisclosed amount of nightly stands with a woman I truly adore.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun. Maybe I should be focused on dates, which I am. I make it seem like I just want to find a girl and be married to her within the same week but really that’s not the agenda. Dating is fun. I want dating. I want dating with the girls I fall for.

What I’ve learnt is that people I like don’t like me. I should honestly give this up. I put my heart out on display and have it literally broken each time, and it’s no ones fault but my own. I can’t force people to like me, and even if I could I wouldn’t because what would be the point. I just can’t change who I am, and no one will love who I am. Even if I’ve grown from my previous relationship. Even if I know I’d never hurt someone like that verbally, or cheat on them ever again I’m just not an attractive archetype. I can’t blame anyone because this happens, it’s just life. It’s the odds.

Life isn’t fair. I’d be lying if I said I had it the worst. There are millions of people who probably wish they could be in my shoes I’m sure of it, and I feel bad saying that.

I guess the rebuddle in this situation I’ve heard used against me is “girls like confident men”. I was confident. I was confident on dates. Confidence is really not the issue despite is seeming like it is. I’ve lost it currently but I haven’t been on a date in this current state of mind, because I don’t want to anymore.

Being confident is not the issue. It’s an umbrella term. Girls are falling for TikTok e-boys who cry about the same shit I talk about and then roll their eyes back into their skull and mass amounts of women still want to be slammed by them. The confidence rebuddle for the most part is bullshit.

It’s really just [your looks + your morals = Intrested/ Not Intrested.] Very simple. Just as much as I don’t want to date an unattractive woman, a woman doesn’t want to date an unattractive man. I think it’s fair. And sure you can make the point that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but for the most part, if you’re actually unattractive, people will agree with that. I am not a hot person. I’m not someone’s dream looking man. I’m 6 foot sure but that means shit.

What I’m saying is that I’m not the normal level of attraction. I’m below that, and all I can do is take that L. I might envy some good looking people but I don’t wish them any misfortune just because I was dealt a shitty hand. If you’re a queen you should be slaying.

My writing is so chaotic. Okay so they didn’t want me because I’m below average in looks and my personality is too strong, I’ll never get a girl I’m looking for, and I refuse to settle for someone I don’t find myself wanting because I’m not desperate trash. I’m accepting this L. Women I like will never like me. I hope they all do well, I hope they all strive. They deserve the best and that’s from the bottom of my heart. I’m hurt but it doesn’t mean they have to hurt just because I wasn’t what they were looking for. It be hypocritical of myself to judge them and their wants when clearly I’m a picky person & set in my ways myself.

It won’t stop me from peeping Instagram and upsetting myself. Curiosity killed the cat.

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topicprinter · 5 years

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Hey Reddit,For those of you that don't know me my name is Joe and I've been running a successful agency that focuses on SEO/web design for the last year and a half. I wanted to switch my focus over to social media though as I started a business in that field directly and I've been working there ever since. I just wanted to write this article to hopefully inspire businesses out there to take their social media seriously. I'm putting a small case study below and I'm adding tips & tricks to get things going. I hope you all enjoy.I was working with a Shopify owner whose shop is called AstralGems, they focus on custom jewelry & wire wrapping. When she started she had about 100 people following on Instagram, and under 1,000 people on Twitter. She had more inventory than she could handle and no one was buying any of her jewelry. I believe anything is possible if you really put your mind to it and that's what I did. In 90 measly days we were able to scale her social media accounts and she started pulling in 1.5k-3k per month. This is without paid ads. Let me say that one more time. This is WITHOUT paid ads.Here are a few screenshots:Shopify:Last 90 days: https://gyazo.com/da4a2ea518d5f5f1af5e303195954daaOnline Store Sessions/Visitors: https://gyazo.com/4b19f34b95a90dca7d2e34722bd041b4Twitter:Sept: https://gyazo.com/6bf610e6b203e805a87d2412c367f37aOct: https://gyazo.com/45b4851868ac3174c40ef4e395a74f25Nov: https://gyazo.com/ba49cc1011d1b378f54760891f9bb842Going to add Instagram when I can get analytics. For some reason, it isn't loading for me right now. Check back a little later.Anyways I'm going to introduce a few free steps/tricks, and things you should do to grow your social media accounts. This applies to all accounts and can be used on FB, Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter. For this specific business there main focus is Instagram/Twitter as majority of sales come from there. I believe anyone can do this it just needs to be a good product/service.Tips/Tricks I use Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc.Follow 50 people specific to your niche every hour for 8 hours a day x 5 days a week. That's 2,000 people a week. At a 20% follower ratio, you would get back 400 organic accounts to your Instagram. I know a ton of you are going to say "that's so newb" or "that's the shadiest way to get people to go to your Instagram account". In reality people 99% of us are NOBODIES. We aren't Kylie Jenner or Drake. We can't simply push out products and be rich. It takes days, months, and years to really grind out a product. I don't want you guys to follow a ton of people then unfollow them now that's being lame. You need to not give a damn about your follow/follower ratio. Who cares. At the end of the day, you are trying to get more sales. You don't need to do this forever. Just get to 8-10K in followers and your content should do the rest.Post actual good content - Some of the photos I see posted on social media hurts my soul. They need to be good photos along with good copywriting. You can't just put a photo on Instagram with 3 words and 1 hashtag and expect your Instagram to grow. I'm going to provide a sample here: https://gyazo.com/a5b55cd058f0e3595bc18a7821e7b17b - Let's break down this post.First thing first the copy is talking about how this specific item is available in her shop, and also tells the viewer that the shop link is in her bio.Putting a few emoji's captures peoples attention as wellspecific hashtags to their nicheThe photo is unique because I've never seen a pendant like this before and it definitely caught the user's eyes.At the end of the post, it's asking its users what they think about the pendant? Creating a sense of people wanting to reply.Consistency: I don't even remember how many times I said I was going to go to the gym and keep doing it for 90 days and failed. Same thing with social media. You need to stay consistent. I promise you if you set a goal and stick to it you will grow your business. Hire someone in house, hire a freelancer, buy a service I don't care. Just get it done. This is probably the most important tip I can give. I can't even count how many times people have told me they don't get social media because no one likes their photos. Well, you aren't posting you big dummy. I see corps and solid businesses doing sales and not posting anything on their social media accounts. You're honestly losing out on free money. The bottom line is just getting it done. If you don't have the time please read the last few sentences I said and get some help.I don't know what to post? You can literally post anything. If you are a lawyer start posting about laws, if you're a doctor start posting about certain diseases that are common, run a jumper business start posting your jumpers and how they look? RUN A DIGITAL MARKETING AGENCY GO AHEAD AND TALK ABOUT THE FUNDAMENTALS OF HAVING SOCIAL MEDIA. I mean I can't make this stuff up. I've had dozens of people come to me telling me they have no idea what to post. Just post. It's honestly that simple. I'm sorry I get so passionate about this subject. It's just mind-boggling to me that people are losing out on free money when they aren't posting.Results WILL NOT happen overnight. Remember what I said above how 99% of people are nobodies. You have to work to start building your audience and brand. It starts with social media. Post good daily content, Post 6 times a week 1 per day and stay consistent with it. Be involved in your community as well. Like other photos, comment on other photos actually be social on social media and you'll start seeing incredible results. Who would have thought actually being social on social media would get you more business :}These 5 steps alone will grow your accounts. Going to give a freebie below:Google My Business, mostly for brick and mortar stores, retail, doctors, dentist, lawn service, storefronts, etc. It's important to have GMB. It's completely free and helps customers find your physical location. Better search visibility, and displays all your information. It's honestly just something to have and so many businesses overlook it.If you all have any questions just leave it in the comment section and I'll be able to help/address when I can.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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