#Honestly not a hard a process as I thought it would be
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VALENTINE'S DAY ! BOT RELEASE.
i honestly didn't think i was going to do valentine's themed things but ... i got a lot of sweet n romantical reqs and suddenly i'm doing a valentine's drop LOL. enjoy !!
CONTENTS INCLUDE young ! soldier boyㅤㅤsoldier boyㅤㅤstanford ! deanㅤㅤdean winchesterㅤㅤㅤㅤ+ vought exec's daughter ! userㅤㅤ&&.ㅤㅤcontroversially young ! user !!
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color theory !! young!soldier boy. ben didn't think he'd meet his soulmate in this era - until his world erupts into color upon meeting the daughter of one of vought-american's execs. just his luck, right?
written in ink !! soldier boy. ben wasn't known to be a kind, or easy man, made worse when he was well into the new century and he hadn't met you yet, the name written on his wrist. fuck this soulmate thing, right?
first impressions !! dean winchester. (req!) dean always knew that meeting his soulmate would be a hard interaction, with the words on his forearm, foreboding and ominous, being please don't leave me.
thought process !! dean winchester. (req!) you were in dean's head; he didn't know a time when you weren't in his head. when you go radio silent, desperate measures are taken to find the soulmate attached to those pretty thoughts.
lessons in chemistry !! stanford!dean. (req!) the last thing dean wanted was a tutor when his life was already falling apart at the seams. it only gets worse when you end up being the one stuck with the job - his ex.
#──★ new release#jensen ackles#jensen fucking ackles#young!ben#young!soldier boy#soldier boy#dean winchester#stanford!dean#jensen ackles c.ai#soldier boy c.ai#dean winchester c.ai#supernatural#spn#the boys#the boys amazon#the boys tv
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୨୧ people watching . . . ravenclaw!matt x hufflepuff!reader
(this is just a oneshot, but i could make it an au in the future if you guys like it!)
hogwarts, a magical and mysterious place that held many stories of love and rivalry, but none quite like the one between you and matthew sturniolo.
you were a hufflepuff—a quiet, bookish girl with a heart as soft as a whisper. you absolutely adored the smell of paper and ink, the warmth of the hufflepuff common room, and the way sunlight shined through the greenhouse windows during your favorite class, herbology. something you didn’t enjoy however, was attention.
matthew, on the other hand, was a ravenclaw with a reputation. he was brilliant, charming, and—unfortunately for you, utterly adored by nearly every girl at hogwarts. his deep blue eyes held the mysteries of the universe, his intelligence and wittiness made professors smile, and his kindness made people swoon over him like there was no tomorrow. there wasn’t a single girl who didn’t at least flirt with him once or have a crush on him.
except you. or . . . so you gaslight yourself to believe.
you did like him. a lot, actually. but you always told yourself that you were far too shy to ever say anything to him. after all, why would matthew sturniolo, the most sought-after boy in school, notice you? a lame, quiet, and reserved hufflepuff?
yet, to your surprise—he did.
It started in the library. you always sat at the farthest table near the restricted section at the back, where it was quietest. it was a quiet evening to say the least, you head was buried into a book as you studied for your care of magical creatures class. when suddenly, matt strolled in. his head was up high, his blue tie hung around his neck, his brown hair looked slightly disheveled from a recent quidditch match.
“mind if i sit here?” he asked, setting his books down before you could even process what was happening. your heart pounded with anxiety and anticipation, nodding at him.
however, this wasn’t the only time this had happened. over the next few weeks, this became a routine. matt would show up, sit beside you, and strike up quiet conversations. he often asked about your favorite books, interests, and more. matt listened to every word you said. he was good at that, he was genuinely curious about you, never once growing bored of your timid responses. he didn’t really see an issue in getting to know you. you found yourself relax even more each time the two of you would interact.
but, there was a problem. every girl in hogwarts noticed the two of you.
they whispered in the corridors, giggling about you in hushed tones. they sent you sharp, and mean glances when they saw you walking beside him after class. some girls were even bold enough to ask matt directly why he spent so much time with you when he could have anyone else.
you eventually decided to just stop speaking to matt, you thought it was for the best honestly, you didn’t want people to hate you, after all. so, you ignored matt when he approached you in the hallways. you never sat in your usual seat in the library, you walked with someone else to class.
matt noticed how distant and cold you were being towards him, without an explanation. he felt confused, and hurt. why were you suddenly ignoring him? a few days ago you both talked to each other 24/7, what changed? those were the types of thoughts running through matt’s head.
one night, you were sitting on a wooden bench near the black lake, your knees tucked into your chest as you watched the reflection of the moon on the water. you haven’t spoken to matt in a week, and everything felt different, but not in a good way.
“y/n?”
you turned your head, startled. matt stood there, hands in his pockets, looking more uncertain than you had ever seen him.“you’ve been avoiding me.” his voice was quiet, but it held a weight of pain, and hurt in it as well.
you swallowed hard. “i—i haven’t been.” you lied right through your teeth.
he raised a brow. ravenclaws could always see through lies. “you ever gonna stop bullshitting with me and tell me the truth?” matt scoffed in disbelief. you sighed heavily. “it’s just… people are talking. they don’t understand why you’d want to be around…someone like me, y’know?”
matt sat beside you. “let them talk,” he said simply.
you blinked at him, speechless. “what?”
“i don’t care what anyone at this stupid school thinks, y/n. i like spending time with you. and if you’d let me, i’d like to spend even more time with you.”
your breath caught, you were in disbelief from what he was saying to you. “really…? you…would?”
matt chuckled. “of course i would. you’re kind, brilliant, and you don’t care about silly things like popularity. you’re real, and genuine. those other girls? they’re mean, and probably only want to get with me for their reputation. i know you, i know you aren’t like that. it’s…quite refreshing actually.”
you felt warmth spread throughout your chest.
for the first time in a long time, you smiled, you truly and genuinely smiled at him. as matt smiled back, you realized that maybe, just maybe, love wasn’t only reserved for the loud, the bold, or the ones who demanded attention. sometimes, love found the quiet ones, too. you realized in this moment, you didn’t need to change yourself to find love. all you did was be yourself, live authentically, and love found it’s way to you. a fucking ravenclaw, too. who on earth would’ve known?
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© delilahsturniolo do not copy, re use, or modify any of my works.
a/n 💌: hiii!! i know this is superrr different from what i usually write, i’ve never written anything about harry potter before so i’m really truly sorry if anything is unrealistic, i haven’t watched harry potter in years and lowk had to do some research in order to write this. let me know if you guys want more!
#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#hogwarts au#sturniolo au#matt sturniolo au#matthew sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo angst#sturniolo angst#sturniolo triplets angst#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#matthew sturniolo imagine#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets imagines#matt sturniolo blurb
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Valentine's Day Special
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Featuring HxH, YYh, and for a limited time Death Note
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Hunter x Hunter
Knov 👔👔👔👔👔
It's a hard no for him
He won't even entertain the thought
“You're not a worm.”
“But if I was, would you love me ��”
“No.”
“But what if-” and he cuts you off with a heavy sigh.
“I love you just the way you are. You're perfect. And if you want me to prove it to you, we'll go on a date right now. Anywhere, no matter how far or how expensive.”
He moves forward to cup your face sweetly.
“Is that a satisfactory answer, my dear.”
You can't help but take a little advantage of the situation. A cheeky grin on your face
“You're taking a month long vacation with me.”
“So be it.”
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Kurapika ⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️
He has to do a double take first, letting the words process for a moment.
When he does, he rubs a hand to his temple.
“No.”
He's very much exhausted, so he doesn't take the question all that seriously.
Not like it was a very serious one to begin with.
But he notices you pouting after he gave his answer.
So he ends up laying his head on your lap when he gets the chance.
“I'd love you no matter what. You know that right?”
And the vulnerability of his confession makes your heart melt.
“I know. I was just being silly….But if you were a worm I'd still love you.”
You can hear him let out an amused huff.
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Kite🪁🪁🪁🪁🪁
Poor thing is so confused.
“No?” He said unsure.
He genuinely can't tell if you're being serious or not.
And the last thing he wants is to make you upset from his answer
But this isn't serious, it can't be. So if he answered you honestly, you shouldn't be mad.
He notices you trying to hide back your laughter seeing him struggle to formulate a proper answer.
He knows for sure then you're messing with him.
And he's embarrassed he gave it any thought at all.
“You're such a pain, you know that?” He tried to hide his flustered expression.
But you followed next to him persistently.
“You love me~”
He looked at you from the corner of his eye.
“Not as a worm I won't.”
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Morel🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬
He can't help but laugh at the question.
It's so bizarre. And he thinks he's getting too old for this crap.
But despite it, he humors you.
“You know what? Sure.”
“Really!?! You’re so sweet!!!”
The way your eyes light up almost makes him feel bad for his next choice of words.
Almost.
“Yeah. Good source of protein.”
You give his arm a swat with a glare.
“I take it back. You're a jerk.😠”
Before you can slip away, he's wrapping his arms around you to pull you close.
“You could've just asked me normally, you know.”
Asked if he loved you point blank and simple.
“The answer's still yes by the way.”
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Ging🎣🎣🎣🎣🎣
He smiles at you, but it's not a lovey dovey soft one.
Oh no.
It's mischievous and playful.
Not a very good sign for you.
“I'd tie you to end of my fishing pole and use you as bait. Then when a fish tries to eat you, I'll pick it up and tell it to unhand my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
You can't help but facepalm at his very obvious attempt to get under your skin.
“You know what? Forget I asked.”
“What!?! You wanted to know!”
“You're supposed to say, ‘Of course I'd still love you. I'd love you in every life and every form.”
“Ha! Screw all that sappy crap.”
You turned your head away from him and crossed your arms.
“C’mon. Don't be all mad. The fact that I'm here means I care about you.”
“Care?”
“I'm not gonna say it.”
You flash him and unimpressed look that makes him give in.
“Fine. I…Like …You.”
“Keep going.”
“The way…That … you are.”
“Was that so hard?”
“I'd rather tell my son where I am.”
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Leorio 🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺
He gives you a deadpanned look. One that says the answer should be obvious.
But in case it isn't, he explains anyway.
“Babe, you're the only one who's genuinely shown interest in me. If you think being a worm is gonna get you out of this relationship, you're dead wrong.”
You do your best to hide your smile.
“So it's a yes then?”
“I wouldn't care if you were a fly or a pile of crap. You're mine, you hear me!”
Maybe a little crude, but he gets his point across nevertheless.
You reward him with a smooch on the cheek. Watching in amusement as his face heats up.
“Oh stop, my beating heart!”
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Wing👓👓👓👓👓
It doesn't even take him a second to answer.
“Of course I'd still love you.”
You knew what he'd say, how could you not. But you wanted to tease him just a little.
“How would you even know it was me though?”
He looked in thought for a second, lighting up when he figured out his response.
“Your body language! You'd probably inch your way towards me, and I'd know.”
But he wasn't done there.
“I could pick you out in a sea of thousands even now. How would I not recognize you?”
You don't think you've ever been anymore in love.
Listening intently as he listed off everything he knew about you.
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Knuckle🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕
Now, he knows what he wants to say.
It'd be a yes obviously.
But he thinks about it. Really thinks about it.
You'd be so tiny. So fragile.
He didn't want to hurt you accidentally.
So he proposed something better. Much better if you might add.
“We could be worms together 👉👈”
He's so sweet, you think you might just melt.
“Of course we could be worms together.”
“Really? I'd fight off all the other worms so they'd know you were mine!”
“I'm sure you would, sweetheart.”
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Yu Yu Hakusho
Hiei ⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️
“No.”
You must think him a fool to ask something so ridiculous.
He doesn't want to give it any thought at all. But you wouldn't give up so easily.
“What do you mean no!?!”
“Why the hell would I love a worm!?!”
And then he has to do a double take of what he just said.
“No, why the hell am I actually taking you seriously. Maybe I am a fool after all.” He grumbles under his breath.
Unaware of you beaming at him. That is, until he heard you speak.
“Because you love me 🥺 even as a worm.”
“I'll kill you.”
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Kurama 🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊
He wants to say no, but he won't do it.
He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
And he knows you're not being serious anyway.
“Yes. I'd make a garden for you.”
“With roses?” You prompt.
“With roses. I'd make sure the soil has the perfect pH for you.”
He enjoys the playful smile on your lips. But he adores the softer ones even more.
“In all seriousness, I couldn't imagine my life being the same without you.” He starts before leaning his head against yours.
“I revere you. Regardless of what form you take in this life or the next.”
You reward him with a kiss, which he eagerly returns.
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Yusuke 💥💥💥💥💥
His answer honestly depends on what mood he's in. If he's in a really good mood, he'll give a small laugh.
Calling you weird before answering honestly.
“Hell yeah! I'd put you in a cup and take you everywhere. Then if a bird tried to swoop down, I'd barbecue it for you!”
He means it, too.
He's already gone through hell and back to keep you safe.
If you think he'll love you any less because you were a worm, you'd be dead wrong.
“Aw babe, you'd fight for me even if I was a worm?”
He's all smiles describing the way he'd show off to defend you from threats.
Threats being frogs, lizards, birds, the occasional snot nosed brat.
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Jin 🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️
“A worm, huh? Aw. You'd be so tiny. But I'm afraid I'd lose ya. Flying about and all that.”
It's actually surprising he's giving it as much thought as he was. But it endears him to you all the same
“You could tie me on a string.” You suggested.
He swoops you in a hug and swings you around.
“See? That's why I love you so much. You're so smart.”
“And you have a heart of gold. My sweet boy,” you coo.
You can see his ears start twitching, a telltale sign he's happy.
“So you'd still love me then?” You ask once more.
“I'd love ya even if you were as gross as Bakken. And that's saying somethin.”
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Death Note
L 🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰
He doesn't spare you a second glance from the computer screen in front of him.
“Why do you always ask the most ridiculous of questions?”
“So you wouldn't love me if I was a worm?”
“No.”
🥺
He can tell you're pouting.
At last tearing his gaze away from the brightness of the screen in front of him.
He can see your somewhat dejected posture.
And if you're upset, you're not focused. Which means he's not focused. The effect you have on him is strange.
It's something he both hates and likes.
“Is this one of those questions lovers ask each other when they're seeking out validation? Or do you want me to prove my devotion through words?”
“Maybe.”
He gives out a small sigh before speaking.
“Fine then, I'll play along. Yes I'd love you if you were a worm.”
“Liar. I know you don't mean it.”
“You're right I don't. Anyways-”
You think that's the end of that. That he won't give the interaction a second thought.
You were wrong.
He leaves a piece of strawberry cake by your bedside the next morning.
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Ryuk 📓📓📓📓📓
“What's that?”
You show him a picture of one.
“Oh? Ew gross.”
“What do you mean gross ☹️”
“Yeah no. You're on your own. I'd probably step on you for fun.”
He's laughing at you, so you decide to spite him.
“You know what? No apples for a month.”
“Wait!!!!! Of course I'd love you as a worm. Worms look delicious.”
“Now you're making it weird.”
“Well whaddya want me to say?!?!”
“Something normal???”
“Well I ain't normal. I’m a god. The only things I love unconditionally are apples.”
“Fine. Would you still love me if I was an apple?"
He actually gives it thought for a few seconds.
“I'd do my best not to eat you. But we both know you wouldn't last five seconds. So I guess I'd still love you. Probably more than I do now.”
“Hey!!!!! 👹👹👹”
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Misa 💅💅💅💅💅
“Oh my gosh! YESSSS!”
She genuinely gets so excited by the question.
“Only if you'd love me back if I were a worm.”
The two of you start feeding off of each other's encouragement.
“We could make a heart!”
“And live in our own little soil house 🥺🥺🥺”
“Babe!!!! We could wear cute little leaf outfits!!!!”
“And match!!!!!!!!!!”
“We'd be the most fashionable, cutest worms to ever exist!”
“We'd totally be a power couple!!!!”
Y'all are just giggling with each other, planning out your worm future.
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An: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
#hxh#hunter x hunter#hxh x y/n#hxh x reader#hunter x hunter x y/n#hunter x hunter x reader#knov x reader#kurapika x reader#kite x reader#morel x reader#ging x reader#wing x reader#knuckle x reader#leorio x reader#death note#death note x reader#death note x y/n#ryuk x reader#l x reader#misa x reader#yu yu hakusho x reader#yyh x reader#hiei x reader#kurama x reader#yusuke x reader#jin x reader#yusuke urameshi x reader#jin yu yu hakusho#ryuk death note#misa amane
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Honestly this was one of my favorite moments of historical detail in Eggers’ Nosferatu. Even knowing that Thomas is signing his name here, you might find it kind of hard to read, because he’s not actually using modern, standard cursive — he’s using a historical German script that hasn’t been used for decades called Kurrent! This was the standard form of handwritten German until well into the twentieth century, and isn’t all that intelligible even if you know English cursive.
I had to take a class to learn to read it, and I still can’t make it out a lot of the time when I see it on old documents. Interestingly enough, in my class they taught us it was common to sign your name in regular cursive, even if the rest of the document was in Kurrent. Even still, great piece of detail. When Thomas went to sign his name my thought process was “I wonder if he’s going to sign his name in… He IS!” And I would have cheered and hooted and hollered had I been alone in the theater.
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I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, and a large soda.
Memes aside, could you do 🥰🫀🍒 for Storm, Luna Snow, and Black Widow?
Love your work and Happy Valntines Day!
Thanks for cooking so hard as well!
I feel like a drive through worker taking these orders /j Happy Valentines day to you too, thank you so much for the kind words :) Also this is pretty long so it's going under a read more :3
🥰 - How do they act when they have a crush?
When Natasha first realizes she actually has a crush on someone, she’s taken aback by her own emotions for a bit. From her time in the Red Room and even in her current work she’s gotten used to faking emotions and faking love as a means of getting what she needs for the mission. But this is real and rare and honestly a bit intimidating, and that actually manages to throw the capable spy off for a few days.
Luckily with all of her training Natasha is able to hide her nerves and the fact that she’s now actually a bit flustered around you. Her mind has always been sharp but around you it becomes hard to focus. The normally composed Black Widow takes a few moments to think of her words. Her actions around you seem more stilted as opposed to her usual fast instincts.
Natasha knows that with her training and skills she could probably seduce just about anyone, but that’s not the real her. It’s just an act to manipulate a target, and you’re not a target, you’re a person she cares deeply about. She wants you to be in love with the real her, not some act she puts on. So, while it’s hard not to turn on the charm around you, Natasha commits herself to pursuing you like a ‘normal’ person would. Or as close to normal as a super spy can get.
🫀 - How do they comfort you when you’re upset? How do they like to be comforted?
Natasha is extremely good at reading other people, to the point where she might know that you’re upset before you even realize it. Since she’s able to recognize your emotions so quickly, most likely before you want to talk about anything, she’ll start by doing something small for you. For example, she’ll make you your favorite drink and just silently leave it with you so you have some alone time to process your emotions. Once you are ready to talk to her or if you need some physical comfort, Natasha is ready for you with open arms.
Sometimes Natasha has a rough day when memories of the Red Room resurface. It’s hard for her to push the the memories and thoughts out of her head once they appear, so Natasha really appreciates it when you can help distract her. Her favorite way of being comforted is laying down in your arms as you talk to her about whatever, it could literally just be you rambling about your day. It’s very grounding for her to just lay in your arms and let your warmth and voice drown out the memories.
🍒 - How experienced are they? Do they have any special skills? (wink wink nudge nudge)
Natasha arguably has the most experience with romantic relationships and intimacy out of all of the rivals cast. In her decades as a super spy she seduced countless people for personal gain, but she has also had genuine flings and relationships with other heroes. Natasha absolutely knows what she’s doing with you, and that confidence is definitely noticeable when you two are together. If you feel intimidated by how much confidence she has, Nathasha is extremely understanding. She’s happy to take it slow with you, or help you gain more confidence together ;)
In terms of any special skills, Natasha has literal training in how to seduce people. End of headcannons, let your imagination carry you-
But seriously, with just a few weeks of dating Natasha is able to become an expert in just how to get you going. She can tell just from your body language where and how you prefer to be kissed, when you want her to be a bit rougher with you, or how to make an excited shiver run up your spine with just one touch. Of course that doesn’t stop her from asking you questions she already knows the answer to just to see you get flustered. And, of course, it’s never a good idea to lie to the super spy.
🥰 - How do they act when they have a crush?
Luna is much more bold when she has a crush. While other people might try to keep their feelings secret and wait to see any signs that you like them back, once Luna knows that she really likes you she is going all in. She’s always followed her heart, and if her heart is telling her that she wants to be with you she’s not going to sit around and wait for something to happen.
You get so much special treatment from her. You get the best seats to her shows, previews of her upcoming music, and if you're also a hero you get healing as soon as you have the tiniest scratch.
When Luna has a crush on you you’re on her mind almost 24/7, and she’ll do her best to figure out ways to include you in whatever she’s doing. She has to pick up some groceries, want to get your shopping done together? You weren’t assigned to it but she’d feel so much safer if you join her on her next mission!
It’s probably pretty obvious to everyone around you that she likes you, some people might even assume that you’re both already together. If you’re seemingly oblivious to all of Luna’s flirting she honestly finds it endearing, especially if it’s clear that you like her back.
🫀 - How do they comfort you when you’re upset? How do they like to be comforted?
When Luna notices you’re upset, her goal is to try and make you smile or laugh. Even if it’s just a small smile, Luna will make a really bad joke to lift your spirits a little and hopefully break up any negative spiral you might be in. Of course if the situation is really serious, Luna can read the room and understand you may need to cry or just experience those negative emotions before you move on. In that case Luna will be there to give you a comforting hug, not wanting you to feel alone while you’re hurting.
When Luna is upset, her night will instantly improve if you set up a little night in for the both of you. Luna’s most common source of frustration is just how many expectations are placed on her as a pop star and a hero. So to have you take some time to set up something small for her would make Luna feel so appreciated. Just some takeout and a movie together on the couch is all she needs to start to release some of the tension that was building up in her shoulders. Oh and of course some kisses from you are required too.
🍒 - How experienced are they? Do they have any special skills? (wink wink nudge nudge)
Luna has a lot of admirers as an international pop star, but her main focus has always been on her two careers. That’s not to say that Luna is totally inexperienced, she’s been in a couple relationships before, but she’s probably less experienced than you might think an international pop star would be. But that doesn’t mean that Luna is shy, she’s actually really excited to experience anything that might be new with you. In the beginning of your relationship there’s definitely an intense honeymoon period where Luna just wants to do everything with you.
With Luna’s ice powers, she’s a bit reckless with where she gives you hickeys. When you’re making out her kisses will trail high up on your neck where no reasonable collar would be able to cover the now brightly colored skin. After you lightly complain that you’re not going to be able to cover up the marks she gave you, she’s able to use her powers to make her hands personal ice packs to help soothe the bruises. It’s the best of both worlds, she gets to give you all the hickies she wants and gets to gently hold you as you cuddle afterwards.
🥰 - How do they act when they have a crush?
Storm is also someone who’s going to pursue you more directly. She knows that time is a precious resource, and she’s never been the kind of person to just sit by. However, Storm also greatly respects your autonomy, she knows it’s not a given that you’ll like her back. So her flirting will be subtle at first as she tries to pick up on any hints that you may like her back.
Storm likes giving you soft flirtatious touches. She’s a big fan of the classic “Let me fix your hair”, or sitting down very close next to you so you brush up against each other. Her touch is always light and gentle just in case it’s not wanted, but she has a warm smile on her face as she notices you subconsciously lean into her.
If you’re a fellow hero Storm would love to train or exercise with you. She appreciates any one on one time she gets with you, but there’s just so much opportunity to flirtatiously tease you when you’re both working out together. Plus, Storm can’t help but show off her strength a bit in hopes of impressing you. While she does offer you practical advice, there are a lot of double entendres and charged touches.
🫀 - How do they comfort you when you’re upset? How do they like to be comforted?
Storm is a great listener and with her own variety of life experiences she gives really great advice if you’d like some. Storm's presence never feels judgemental, no matter what state you’re in or what you’re upset about. But Storm has a hard time sitting still when someone she cares about has a problem. She’ll always ask if there’s anything she can do for you after you’re done speaking. Even if you say no she’ll still try and do something small whether that's getting you a snack or cleaning your living space a bit; just anything she thinks will help alleviate any of your stress.
Storm enjoys having a bit of space at first when she’s upset, she just needs some time to calm herself down alone because she can be easily irritated when she’s upset. Once she isn’t afraid of accidentally being snappy with you, she enjoys talking to you about whatever her problem is. Even if you don’t have any advice, Storm finds it useful to say her thoughts out loud because it helps her think of what she should do next. Storm also really appreciates it if you cuddle her while she talks/rants at you lol.
🍒 - How experienced are they? Do they have any special skills? (wink wink nudge nudge)
Storm also has a good amount of experience with relationships and being intimate with people. While she’s confident in her skills, she doesn’t outwardly display that, and she especially never acts cocky about it. While she’s been with other people in the past, every intimate act the two of you do is new in Storm’s eyes as you’re a unique person. Storm is great at uplifting you if you ever feel nervous or insecure. Despite Storm being the Goddess, she frequently makes you feel like you’re being worshiped.
If you’re into strong, dominant women (which lets be real if you’re dating Storm you are) Storm has plenty of experience with being in charge. She’s strong and gentle, never demeaning or rude, but a firm hand that guides you in all the right directions. Even when she’s being dominant and maybe a bit rough, Storm just has this presence that you can’t help but trust completely. You might get a little zap if you’re being a tease though.
#LWS valentines event#loomis writes sometimes#loomis answers anons#LWS storm#LWS luna snow#LWS black widow#marvel rivals x reader#x reader#black widow x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#luna snow x reader#storm x reader
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PLACES THIS DOWN AND SCREAMS
I'm not gonna stop talking about it I'm SO proud of how it came out. Multiple days of work and it looks so nice oh I could cry!
I wanted so badly to do a screenshot Redraw for DR or just Ninjago In geneal for a WHILE not, but man it's very hard due to the style the show is in
BUT I DID IT!
AND IT LOOKS GREAT!
It doesn't look 100% like a realistic screenshot u can tell I drew it BUT for a first attempt I think I did pretty well!
We got my twin elemental masters Odette and Evangeline respectively. They replace the current master of sound in DR cuz I can.
I love these two girlies I wanna talk about them more and do more art of em cuz I honestly have so many thoughts about them!
If they actually existed u just know folks would look at them and still insist Lego didn't have a race in mind when making them LOL
Link to their ref (that I need to rework)
Screenshots and Video of Process under the cut!
Warning video is VERY fast (multiple hours condensed into 30 seconds) to beware flashing lights!
Screenshots I used (I stole Euphrasia from the second screenshot for Odette's pose)
Video
#kkpaaw#my art#ninjago#lego ninjago#lego ninjago dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago oc#ninjago ocs#ninjago dragons rising oc#ninjago dragons rising ocs#Ninjago Evangeline#Evangeline#Ninjago Odette#Odette#Evangeline & Odette#my ocs
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.·:¨༺ ✩★✩ ༻¨:·. The prince is sighing as she speaks, while the Historian makes a face under his mask. Jade eyes are staring at her hands folded on the table for a moment before they rise again. It sounds more like there are a whole slew of things she wants him to tell her but doesn't know how to ask them of him, so presenting it more as an option makes it less like she's prying.
He doesn't know how to approach the situation when her words of telling him that 'he couldn't keep things from her' and 'she would find out' are rolling around in his mind. He decides it's probably best to keep those thoughts to himself knowing full well, the man of orange next to him would about lose his mind if he knew that his Liege was spoken to in such a way.
He'll start with the obvious, and even though he's told his binds of this fact, he's sure it's still a bit hard for them to digest.
"Miss Lisa, firstly when it comes to my age, I do look like a child. This is the way I looked when Misterica fell. I look this way because of my immortality. I haven't aged a day since Misterica was destroyed by Chaos."
He can feel his bind tense as he speaks about it and he watches as his head drops and his shoulders droop down towards the floor while the older man sighs. A hand is reaching under the table to rest on the elder's knee as if to give him some form of comfort. He knows his binds are all learning this information at varying speeds but none of it is quick and they haven't had the time to process it that he has - that he and Aqua have if he knows Herba well enough and he knows he does.
"I can't age. You've seen my powers in full effect whether you realized it or not. That wasn't just an injury that day, Miss Lisa. That was exactly what it looked like. I do look like a child, but I assure you I am not one. I would appreciate it if you refrained from calling me 'boy', in the future."
He's sighing again as he continues to hold the elder's hand beneath the table while his right remains visible on it's surface. She says she wants to be friends but he doesn't know to begin doing so when he has always been so guarded around her. She's referred to him as 'Makenshi' in the past until recent days when the twins decided to change his name to 'Kumo' - and honestly it was a much better choice than otherwise.
And now she wants his... name. He doesn't very much feel like giving it to her. Not with her words from their previous conversation still floating around in his mind. Somehow, he feels like she's still under the false impression that his time in Gaudium was of his own volition and not the complete opposite of such. Somehow, he feels like his words for all those years ago still have not reached her.
"As for my name, Kumo, is fine. Misterican names are sacred and gifts to us from our parents and if I am to be perfectly honest, Miss Lisa - after your attitude in our previous conversation - I am not very much in the mood to give it to you. One does not get my name simply because they demand information about me. You're not doing it now, but you did it then and I don't really know which face to believe. So, Kumo, is fine for now, and it will be fine until I decide otherwise. "
He pauses as he sighs.
"The only reason Black Wind knows my name is because he speaks my tongue, so do not think I am placing him any better than anyone else in that regard. He did not earn my name either, but even he knows better than to speak it aloud."
He's sighing again as his hand tightens around the one in his grip and mint green eyes focus in on him while their owner also sighs deeply.
"We came to apologize for own our actions, we're not here to get information from you unless you're willing to give it. I'm starting to understand why his highness is struggling to find where he stands with you. The more I learn of humans, the more I find how selfish they are. You understand that your planet and your people are not all that exists, don't you?"
Lisa listens to both carefully, observing as the two get situated and explain why they came back to speak to her.
"I appreciate your apology, both of you, but I definitely have some work to do myself," she said softly, with a small smile on her face.
"As for your position, I don't think you need to apologize for not telling me, and I don't think it inherently makes things awkward... You have nothing to make up for just because I wasn't aware," she replied.
"That being said, I'm glad I know now... I really do want to be your friend, and it's hard to do that if we don't talk to each other, but you certainly aren't obligated to do anything or tell me anything. I wouldn't ask that of you, it wouldn't be fair to."
She takes a deep breath, glancing down at her hands as she fidgets, before shifting slightly in her seat before continuing.
"I've clearly made assumptions, and that seems to have only led to problems, which I'm sorry for, and I'll make sure I won't do so in the future, or at the very least I will try not to..," she turned her gaze to Valo, "When we spoke earlier, you were upset I used the name 'Kumo,' and that I translated this name for him," she turns back to Kumo, like she was curious about what his answer to her coming question would be, "Do you not like the name 'Kumo'? If you want me to refer to you in another way, I'm more than happy to," she explained.
She was honestly a bit embarrassed to have not asked before. It felt a bit ridiculous now that she was actually asking him.
"I know you never complained about it or anything, but looking back I still should've asked. I also called you a 'boy,' which he told me was incorrect, very incorrect actually, now that I think about it, it was a little ridiculous to assume your lifespan is similar to ours, so I shouldn't have assumed your age," she said, smiling a bit.
She thought for a moment, leaning forward in her seat and resting her clasped hands on the table they were sat at. "I guess I should just ask you if there's anything you want me to know, or if there is anything you want me to tell you?" Maybe they could just try this again, learn about each other without any assumptions getting in the way this time...
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So I've made it an VRchat avatar...
cause why not... Character by @wolfertinger666
#3d art#3d model#vrchat avatar#Honestly not a hard a process as I thought it would be#Like wow#You can make anything
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shoutout to punko for teasing her readers with the idea of many possible ships within the main cast throughout the story only to shatter it completely towards the end with the question "are you really in love or are you just so traumatised from the horrors actively trying to kill us that you cling to any possible connection you have with the person(s) around you ?"
#i just finished reading stagtown and i have many thoughts and feelings#but holy fuck#it's like my third eye has been opened#so many horror stories will still try to squeeze in a romance#(and don't get me wrong it CAN work)#and not once do they ever stop and think how these traumatic situation affect the human brain#how it tries to make sense of so many feelings but ends up getting more confused#and in the process confuses platonic connections with romantic/sexual ones#it's honestly so weird how nobody has ever thought to acknowledge the weird psychology of the human brain in regards to this#it would go so hard in the horror genre#man i'm so glad stagtown will become a movie#if they don't butcher the plot and keep it relatively the same#then we can hope that frankie and felix's conversation will be kept in the script#and it will make more people revaluate how we view relationships in fiction and even real life#god bless you punko 🙏#stagtown#stagtown spoilers#star rambles
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Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.
Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.
Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.
'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.
Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.
#When I wrote this my mind was to Mina x Annie like straight up I was like 'Yeah Mina's Annie's soulmate and she saw her dying' but my brain#liked to remind me that you know Armin has a nerd death experience too. So it can go either way guys the idea is that Annie's soulmate l#either died in Trost or was close to dying#Some little things I daydreamed about while waiting to get home to finish this post (more like little details for the au than anything#else) : Only Eldians can have a soulmate aka only subjects of Ymir. Marley being the racist motherfucker they are aren't aware of the whole#soulmate thing. That's why Reiner Berthold and Annie has no clue something like that exists they didn't get taught about that. Meanwhile#everyone on Paradis knows about soulmates kind of hard not to when many SC die on a basic lol. Is something normalized for them#Also another little detail would be that a Titan Shifter can't see during their shift. Aka Eren didn't see through Mikasa's eyes during#Trost despite her being near death at some point(s) (I'm thinking about when Titan Eren punched that Titan coming for Mikasa but honestly?#She was in danger when Eren lost control too). So yeah that's all I have for now#I think it also make sense a little for some soulmate thing to occur on top of the titan powers given the whole 'love story' between Ymir#and King Friz (or whatever his name fuck that guy- in a nonsexual way). So yeah we should totally play around with the concept of soulmates#more#This post is a mess but I started it at like 11 pm and finished it at 6 pm let me be man. My sleep deprived mind came out with this one#I make no promises to actually write something with this - I'll have to re-watch the first two season and kind of update as I watch the#other seasons so yk. Low chances. But feel free to use this as you please haha. Go wild guys. It doesn't even need to be JeanMarco yk#Like Annie seeing Mina die with her own eyes??? And her thoughts process for the whole time once she finds out she was her soulmate#Or ykyk Historia Witnessing Ymir's death??? Nicolo losing his shit over seeing that little girl shoot his soulmate??? LEVI SEEING FLASHES#OF BIG ASS STONES THROWN AROUND#Man actually you can play around with Levi so much like we have Petra too and Hange and-#Regardless#aot jean#aot marco#aot#jeanmarco#Aot JeanMarco#jean kirstein#jean kirschstein#marco bodt#marco bott
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I know you all know by default how much I love this conversation, but in RD at least, a lot of characters fall out of relevancy after a certain point (whereas in PoR you could argue that having full supports prevents this). Shinon is one of the only side characters who doesn't really do this, having three base conversations throughout part three (which is pretty fucking good considering several of the chapters aren't even with the Greil Mercenaries).
Back in PoR, Shinon asks for praise/gratitude. Expects it. By this point he doesn't want it anymore. He didn't want it when he was selling bows for emergency income (which Rolf took up as well) and he doesn't want it here either. His personality has chilled out so much from being a hothead and he's much more expressive of his actual feelings (even if you compare his standard death quotes in both games, he's much more emotionally expressive in RD).
A lot of characters - most honestly, including even the GMs (barring Boyd if he A supports Mist which gives him more content and expresses a whole lot of maturity compared to PoR Boyd) tend to drop off in development. They might stick around (ex. PoR puts all the major groups in the spotlight until the next group shows up and goes through all of them), but the development eventually stagnates outside of supports (including in base conversations, which this one is such).
Since RD doesn't get supports with full conversations, you only get snippets of development/characterization through them, while the base conversations may offer insight into the characters and show you how they've changed over the years but don't truly develop them. Shinon is a very lucky situation for his character because he keeps returning in both games, and it helps develop him across both games with a full timeline (similar to Naesala, who has a fully fleshed out story and personality development over both games and never stops dead at any point in the pair of games).
In PoR Shinon was distant and selectively a bit cold (Greil, Rolf and Gatrie excluded from that, and Mist to an extent as well). RD gives the impression that he just... doesn't care about all that anymore. He's fine where he is and has learned he can live with these people and not have to expect betrayal. He doesn't have to anticipate being on his own ever again. There's no real reason for him to keep up the walls and barriers to protect himself, and he's not living just to survive anymore.
Most times when I end up loving a character it's because of the content given to me and what have I to work with, rather than loving a character and searching for things to love. I fully expect that that's why I finally, after years of being unable to decide who my Tellius favorite was because I loved several of them too dearly to decide, found myself able to settle on Shinon.
When I got older and gave it more thought, considering all the development and traits of each of them and how responsive I was to them, one day I asked myself, well okay, what if someone asked you who your favorite was? What if you still did love the same ones as your number one, all of them, but could only give one name quick and simple? Who would you pick? The first name that instantly hit me was Shinon. That was enough for me to decide okay, there's a reason he's the first person who instantly came to me if I had to truly settle on one. I hadn't quite figured it out yet, but I knew there was a reason that if I had to pick a single standout, it would be him.
A lot of it harkens back to this conversation. It is development in and of itself, and also very expressive of who he is. The fact that he also doesn't fall off in conversations and is more recurring than not also gives me more to examine about him and more to think about. It puts him in a more likely position to think about him and who he is than I would for characters the writers didn't really bother developing (including other recurring characters like Marcia, who keep coming back in both games similar to Shinon, but see no development as a person - unfortunately in her case, in either game).
He has a very rich, detailed and unforgotten-by-the-writers character and one whose story ends on a very high note. I say "ends" in the sense of main story/base content, but it technically continues if he's taken to the Tower and gains the ability to A support various other characters who he otherwise could not support or could only reach a B support with, such as Sanaki, Tibarn, etc. This conversation is like an accumulation of his growth between both games, including the subtle things you can only pick up on through actions/other character lines.
Ike says he (everyone, which includes Shinon) chose to stay with them when he told everyone who their next employer was/what they'd be doing/etc, and Ike gave him and Soren an out if they weren't comfortable with it. They weren't all forced to go. That says by itself that Shinon made that choice on his own. He chose to stay with them when he was not yet totally comfortable with laguz and was still working on that part of himself (the fact that he uses the term "laguz" at all is already a huge step up from where he leaves off on his A support with Janaff, which did not leave off poorly at all).
Last time Shinon was uncomfortable with something in the Greil Mercenaries, he made the choice to leave. When he did come back, he was not exclusively surrounded by only the GMs and otherwise, purely laguz (which prior to meeting Janaff I would argue he was not ready for at all at the time). Here, he was, and he still made the choice to stay with them knowing exactly what his situation would look like.
Another thing worth considering is how much of a hothead Shinon was in PoR, but he still took Rolf on as a student. While I'm not sure exactly how accurate Mist's statement is about "forcing" Rhys to teach her (it's possible she was pushy about it because he didn't want to, such as because it might mean she might end up on the battlefield), we do know Rolf wanted to learn and was accepted.
We can easily infer through their conversations that Shinon would rather teach him to survive and have a safety net rather than worry about him being on a battlefield. Shinon saw that he was motivated to learn and, regardless of the fact that he was still in survival mode himself and not of the mind of "I'll be with these people forever and want to help them", taught him while apparently having told him "things like this happen" with mercenaries (i.e. different employers, separation, etc). If they ended up on opposite sides but Rolf could wield a weapon, that could endanger him, but he does it anyway. His priority is always survival, but it's also the survival of children and anyone he cares about. He also dies begrudgingly in his PoR death quote, which is completely opposite of his death quote against Rolf.
Another thing for me: he's also very confident and aware of his capabilities as a marksman. He knows what he's worth and at this point, he no longer brags about it (he used to all the time in PoR). He sees no reason to have to prop himself up. There's no insecurity in him that makes him feel the need to try to be open about being better than anyone else. He knows and accepts what he's worth without feeling the need to tell people about it.
If someone asked him what he thought of himself/his own worth, yeah, he'd admit his skill and capability without being too humble, but he also wouldn't go overboard with it or say it during instances that don't really warrant it (basically, if absolutely nobody asked, he'd say it anyway in PoR. In RD he doesn't really seem to give a shit anymore about letting the whole world know how good he is). He's lost the whole pick me, look at me sort of attitude. Imo it's also due to a higher amount of respect he has for himself now, and a much healthier one. He doesn't care about being the best anymore (he'd be perfectly happy if Rolf was instead) and is just satisfied knowing his skill on his own. He's satisfied not being alive just to survive, but to be with this mercenary group and actually able to live.
As a side note, we never actually see him having drunk or in the middle of drinking in RD, so... it's also likely he's worked on his possible PoR drinking issue too!
All in all, he's just one of the few non-main characters who came a whole long way with a full story. He feels very different in RD, but not so much that he feels like a different character entirely. For me, I can feel the growth in who he is, and that to me is an excellent handling of a character. When I can feel how different they are from beginning to end, I can feel the intent of character growth behind it. I can't tell you with certainty that the writers took a liking to him and so biasly kept sticking in dialogue for him (and singlehandedly made him one of the solidly best units in RD, for that matter...), but he's definitely repeatedly present and has hefty, story/backstory littered implications.
His dialogue feels meaningful to his own personal story in all his conversations. In other words, he doesn't have a conversation that feels devoid of meaning. It comes across more as all of his content exists for a reason/has meaning behind it. There's no wasted dialogue with him. When he's there, it means something for his character (comparatively to other side characters who may have lengthy conversations but you walk away having gotten nothing out of it, be that in PoR and/or RD).
He has fewer supports than most of the cast in PoR, but every single one had some kind of direction to it. Even if you look at his C support with Janaff and go "well that's just classic early PoR Shinon", the point of that is exactly that: that he starts out who we recognize and develops from there. That support alone goes from that to a lot of growth in three conversations, and beneficially so on both sides.
Simply put, he has more content the average Tellius character (including all of his boss quotes in chapter 18), and everything leads up to who he is by this conversation. It's a full story for a side character, later including personalized support dialogue for A supports, and he just happens to exhibit a lot of growth and traits that I already lean toward (hence why he was in my top spot all along, just tied with others. Now he's not tied with others and has the top spot to himself!).
I think it's likely it's the fact that as mentioned, none of his conversations are throwaway conversations. You never walk away from his conversations having gotten nothing (I mean, I'm sure people who refuse to see it don't notice precisely because they are willing themselves to refuse to see it to find excuses to keep hating him). Even in his first RD base conversation, the fact that he acts as you'd expect but drops a "laguz" in there is already a hint for his growth direction on top of being there at all. It's really just up from there, as is the case with all his content.
I tend to lean toward characters with a whole fountain of insightful conversations and depth, and in FE games you often don't find those characters outside of the mains. While I'd argue Tellius is a lot less tropey than modern FE (there were some tropey types like Makalov and Ilyana whose characters are basically nothing without their tropes), a lot of its side characters are still reduced to very surface level characterization with no real growth.
Shinon was very lucky to get as much as he did, and I'd say he has just as much if not more personal depth and lore than even some of the mains themselves. Imo he's a very lucky and rare find in FE games, when there are so many goddamn characters that the writers can't flesh them all out (reasonably of course, but it makes it even more special when it happens for non mains). Even with the Fodlan games and all its content, a lot if not most of its characters are full on tropes with little to nothing in the way of anything else. Engage suffers from it too, with a few diamonds in the rough and not much else.
That's not to say I hate the games or their characters, because obviously I would not still be playing new titles to the franchise if I hated it. I'm saying it makes the ones with as much depth as Shinon a gold mine to be found amidst a very large cast of characters that don't usually get that treatment.
anyway i will always talk abt shinon more when able so this is Not The End but i will end this post here lest it turns into another 20+ paragraphs.
#DCB RD Run#Shinon#i was gonna post this a long time ago but then my fandom interests shifted again#but then a friend in said fandom showed blatant interest in shinon and that's all it took#i wasn't kidding when i said even when i go into other fandoms tellius just STICKS with me#shinon can't leave me and i can't leave him i am simply bound to him at this point#i remember back in the day when i couldn't determine who my fave was in these games#and i just asked myself like... if someone asked for your fave and you could only pick one char#who would you pick in that situation (since when trying to decide i was always like#it's oscar ike shinon ranulf and soren and probably reyson!!!) but if i had to pick only one?#asking MYSELF that was difficult... but if i considered someone ELSE asking me?#my answer was immediately shinon. as shinon himself would say! ''no hesitation''!#that was when i actually genuinely knew my answer. kinda hard to deny when my little heart and brain just#instantly processed that answer without any actual thought. I stuck with it since and honestly???#I've been so happy for it. I've been so happy expressing my love for him!#I love Ike too ofc but it's a very different feeling ig since Ike is already insanely loved by the fandom#shinon is like... my special little guy
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Suddenly cursed with the desire to write out detailed paragraphs about my dozen aro and/or ace headcanons for genshin characters
#fern.txt#I MAY BE OUT OF THE WOODS WITH MY HARDEST MIDTERM BUT I STILL HAVE WORK :///#genshin#see it’s sometimes hard for genshin chars bc alot of my hcs I notice go hand in hand w chars having trauma#so sometimes I less want to assign them labels n moreso have thoughts on how trauma impacts their#relationship w sexuality or romance#so sometimes I less have a hc and more like an insane introspective concept Abt this character weighing between#aroace identity vs coping and unpacking trauma#so u have a range of like my aroace hc for yoimiya is just bc she probably feels she jsut loves everyone deeply#and doesn’t rlly feel she experiences attraction that stands out compared to this sort of general love for ppl#cynonari are in a demi-aroace sort of relationship where both of them just feel very disinterested sbt romance n sex#but bc they have such a deep bond with e/o#they’re just more comfortable with kind of having some sort of relationship/dictation of e/o as a ‘partner’ of sorts#n then I have my collei hcs where I think if u talked to her Abt it#she would say she consciously thinks her relationship w attraction is rlly influenced by her trauma but she takes comfort in IDing as xyz#aro or ace identity bc she thinks it suits her n she’s ok with the fact she handles attraction differently than other ppl#I think her being around tighnari and cyno who she feels understand her experiences helps her a lot)#but then in contrast if I were to write an wanderer fic in line w my ace hcs for him#it would honestly be more of a narrative of as he has time to process n heal from trauma he moves away from the ace label more#bc I think I’d see him conclude yeah I think alot of my repulsion and detachment from attraction comes from my trauma#and while I still relate to alot of ace experiences I think it might be more helpful and accurate to how I feel#identity wise to try to repair my relationship with it#instead of resonate with the label and idea I don’t have interest in these things nor experience these attractions
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i should try to get a paper published in a film journal. i feel like i could do it
#like publishing is one of those things that feels so outlandishly out of my reach. and then i read an article and go Oh#i felt the same was about college when i was little. like i thought classes would be impossibly hard#like i had this vision that theyd be throwing astrophysics at me with my 7 year old ability to process information#and then i got to college and was so underwhelmed#many such cases honestly#most things that i think are intimidating and unreachable are actually. extremely not
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my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard
#i wish i had something for myself rn#but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art#everything has been burning me so thin#i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything#people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now.#i dont know if thats a phrase#i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep#i want to just rest but im so restless#i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden#if i do so#everyone else should be having a good time#so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time#i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently#i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything#i just havent felt like an artist since it happend#he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would#and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it#but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard#i dont expect anyone to see me as me#i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand#they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring#they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it#but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it#i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission#as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied#thats all that matters#i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore#i dont feel worthy as a person or artist#i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care
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actually if neither fern or the MC were there I think the people that would be most likely to do the hero’s journey across reborn would be titania, amaria, cal or victoria.
#realistically I don’t think anything would stop fern in this situation but I’m saying if he wasn’t there#I think if laura wasn’t so forgiving she could be a choice too but I’m not super sure about it#in order of believability I think it would be victoria > cal > titania > amaria#realistically to explain#amaria would definitely start it. but I’m not sure if she’d have the mental fortitude to finish it for obvious reasons#titania would have to break through her later of apathy but I can 100% see her with the determination to get things done once she does#cal could do it if he saw no other way since he already rails against meteor a lot but I think he would have to be instigated#and honestly I can see victoria very easily in the protagonist position in any number of ways#especially since she goes through most of the beginning with you#it would cause a lot of conflict in her but again if she saw no other person willing to step up I think she would. even after apophyll#I’m very tired and need to study & this is just an overview thought process#westalk#ACTUALLY eclipse is also a candidate. she could do it I believe#the men r kinda wet pancakes. idk if cain could do it without a buddy#maybe radomus could step up to the plate? but he’s busy being a widower#not including any of the orphanage kids or shelly#I think shelly would have too much of a hard time with the mental strain at first to reach the later half#and the orphanage kids are in orphan jail
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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