#and then i got to college and was so underwhelmed

[kath-artic]

i should try to get a paper published in a film journal. i feel like i could do it

[missaengg]

An Innocent Question

Day 27 of Kinktober: Visions of Temptation hosted by @xxsycamore found here Featuring: Love and Deepspace | Caleb x f!reader Tags: mdni, smut, pwp, alternate universe - college, friends with benefits, cunnilingus, fingering, finger fucking, making out, p in v sex, caleb being a sexy little shit Prompts: Casual Sex/FWB | “Come here. I'll make it all better.” A/N: Yeee~ Finally wrote one for Caleb :) ao3 link here.

It started with an innocent question.

You were in Caleb’s dorm room, perched on his bed after you raced over the moment you finished moving in.

“Hey, Caleb, is it true that the average penis is between five and six inches long?”

You’d read that somewhere on the internet, and who better than Caleb, a man with a penis himself, to answer the question?

Caleb choked on his drink, spraying soda on his dorm room carpet that had definitely seen better days. “Pipsqueak, did ya just ask me about penises?”

“Yeah, I read it somewhere on the internet, and I was wondering if it was true.” You nonchalantly shrugged, confused as to why he was making such a big deal out of your question. “I mean, you have a penis, you should know, right?”

Caleb looked at you like you’d lost your goddamn mind. It was unnerving… how he was just staring at you without uttering a single word.

“You don’t have to be so weird about it,” you huffed.

“I’m not being– Pipsqueak, why’re ya asking me about penises?” Caleb asked, still eyeing you strangely.

“Six inches just seems like a lot, that’s all,” you said annoyed. “Whatever, forget I said anything.”

Caleb was still eyeing you with that strange look in his eyes when his expression shifted, a sudden thought dawning on him. “Pipsqueak, are ya a virgin?” he asked incredulously.

Of course he made it sound like it was this horrible thing to be one.

“N–no!” you blurted out, your cheeks burning.

Technically, you weren’t. A virgin, that is. You had a high school boyfriend who was your first and only experience in that realm, but the two of you had been inexperienced teenagers fumbling your way through the mechanics of sex, and well… it had been underwhelming to put it nicely. You’d always heard how fun sex could be, but you’d never experienced it yourself, and you were curious about how it might feel with someone different… someone more experienced… maybe even someone like Caleb…

Caleb smirked, and you felt your blood freeze in your veins because you knew that smirk. You knew it all too well. It was the shit-eating grin he’d get when he was about to ruthlessly tease you… and he loved teasing you.

“Pipsqueak’s still a virgin, eh?”

“I am not a virgin, thank you very much. Not that I have to prove anything to you, asshole.”

“Mmhmm.”

Your blood pressure skyrocketed. Caleb had this way of just burrowing under your skin, and you knew… you knew you were playing into his hands, but the skepticism in his gaze had you steaming, and you wanted nothing more than to scratch the disbelief off his face.

“I had a boyfriend in high school, jerk face,” you snapped, “and not that it’s any of your business, but we had sex, okay?”

Caleb mockingly nodded, that stupid impish glint in his eye glittering at you dangerously. “And lemme guess, it was just the one time and ya never orgasmed?”

You snapped your mouth shut, pressing your lips into a thin, tight line, the retort you wanted to throw at him dying in your throat because he was right. You had nothing to say to that. 

“So I’m right,” Caleb sniggered, and you bristled at the infuriating sound.

You hated when he was able to see right through you and used it for his own sick enjoyment.

“Well, I dunno what to tell ya, Pipsqueak.” Caleb shrugged. “I dunno about other guys, but I’m definitely bigger than six inches.”

Your mouth dropped open. Six inches already seemed like a lot of dick, and you couldn’t imagine anyone being bigger than your ex-boyfriend who had been roughly around five, and that had seemed massive to you at the time.

Your curiosity got the better of you, and you cringed when you couldn’t stop the next question tumbling out of your mouth.

“Can I see?”

Caleb’s eyes widened, shocked by your outrageous question. Hell, you shocked yourself asking something so ridiculous, but the next thing you knew, you found yourself splayed on top of Caleb’s extra-long twin size bed trembling violently while he obscenely licked away between your legs doing things with his tongue you never would’ve thought a tongue could do… never would’ve guessed he knew how to do.

Thrilling tingles were running up and down your back building into something you’d never felt before, a dizzying pressure of pleasure tightening in your stomach until you burst, and you shook uncontrollably against Caleb’s mouth suctioned to your bits, ecstasy rolling through you in torrid waves. 

“Thatta girl,” Caleb snickered. “Congrats on your first orgasm, Pipsqueak.”

You wanted to smack him. Or ask him to do that again. Or both. But you just laid there instead, flushed and spent, thinking about how much you’d been missing out in the sex department.

You and Caleb never spoke about what happened after you left. Not once.

But you thought about that night often, how explosive your climax had been from just his mouth, and if a mouth could make you feel so sinfully good, how much better would it be with an actual dick?

As the year progressed, you started dating, which wasn’t hard considering how desperate college boys were for female companionship, and while you didn’t go all the way with them, none of them came close to being able to pleasure you with their clumsy mouths the way Caleb did. They were too rough or too tentative. They used too much tongue or too much of their teeth. They ignored your sweet aching clit or stroked it with too broad of a touch.

Each tryst left you feeling more disappointed. Unsatisfied. Unfulfilled. And no matter how much you tried to relieve yourself of the pent-up frustration building between your legs using your own unpracticed fingers, you couldn’t. It just wasn’t the same.

Which was how you found yourself back in his room, a textbook in your hands, under the false pretenses of wanting his assistance with Biochemistry, one innuendo leading to another until your study session devolved into him shirtless, pinning you down on his narrow bed with his strong, muscular body.

The muscles on his back delightfully rippled under your palms, a stark reminder of how much he’d grown since he left for college. Caleb had always been athletic and toned, but this…?

His hungry lips crushed yours with deep, bruising kisses, his hot breath mingling with yours, sweeping you away in a cloud of his irresistible cologne. You were light headed and woozy, drowning in a sea of everything Caleb, and you wondered how it was possible for you to come undone so quickly from his kisses alone.

“Fuck, Pipsqueak, the things ya do to me,” he huskily groaned, and just the sound of the thready throb in his voice had electricity jolting down your spine and buzzing in your sex.

One large, calloused hand slipped under your shirt, roughly groping your soft breasts and tweaking your firm nipples, and the other trailed up your quivering thigh and under your skirt, deft fingers sliding into your slick opening and curling against a part of you that had you moaning shamelessly and seeing stars. 

He was kneading and pulling and pinching, and as you rocked your hips and arched your back, you thought it couldn’t just be Caleb who could make you feel this heavenly, surely there had to be someone out there who could make your body sing the way Caleb could?

The thought lingered in your mind afterwards for some time.

The next boy you dated felt promising. You weren’t his first girlfriend or his second or even his third. He was older than even Caleb, a senior mere months away from graduating with more experience in four years of college than you’d had in your entire life. He seemed kind and sweet, and he was… He was very sweet, but when you eagerly jumped into bed with him, desperate to feel what Caleb made you feel, you quickly realized he wasn’t very sweet at all. 

He didn’t quite know what to do with his hands or his tongue or his dick, often skipping the foreplay and jackhammering away until he finished without any regard to whether you had cum at all, and as he moaned away, you found yourself squinting at the ceiling wondering if it truly was just Caleb who could make you cum.

You ached. Your body craved release, and no one, not even yourself, was able to give it to you the way Caleb did with just his hands and his mouth. It was like you were addicted, and no matter who you sought out, it seemed as though they would never be good enough compared to his honeyed touch.

You squirmed sitting in his room, despondent at how disappointing your dating life had been. 

“So, how’s the boytoy?” Caleb asked, wiggling his eyebrows like the dumbass he was.

“Awful. We broke up.”

“Aww… why? He seemed nice.” 

You sighed, dejectedly twisting your hair around your fingers, relishing the sting of pain on your scalp when you twisted too hard. “The sex sucked.”

“Ew, Pipsqueak. I don’t need to hear about your sex life.”

“Caleb, you’ve eaten me out and fingered me twice already. I think that ship has sailed,” you stated, finding his response immature and silly.

“Just doesn’t feel right.”

“That… that doesn’t make any sense.” 

And it didn’t. It didn’t make any sense because this man had given you the most divine orgasms of your life and was grimacing at the thought of you having a sex life when the two of you had done practically everything, but actually fuck.

“Yea, I know.” He looked at you pointedly, something you couldn’t read flickering in his eyes. “I just don’t wanna hear about ya with other guys is all.”

You didn’t say anything. You weren’t sure how to interpret what he just said, but you didn’t dwell on it too deeply. You were occupied with the thoughts of yet another failed quest in finding someone other than Caleb to make you feel rapturous joy and whether perhaps… you were the problem.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, twisting your hands together in your lap. “Hey, Caleb?”

“Yeah?”

“Why can’t anyone I date make me cum?”

Caleb observed you silently, the gears slowly turning in his head. “Is that why the sex sucked? Cause ya didn’t have an orgasm?”

“Yeah. The only person who’s been able to give me an orgasm is…” You swallowed thickly. “...is you.”

You whispered the last two words, your confession both humiliating and vulnerable because you didn’t know how Caleb would react. Would he mercilessly tease you like he always did? Or comfort you in a strange turn of events? Or would he… touch you again?

The silence was deafening.

You peeked at Caleb. He looked startled, frozen in place with his magical, immoral mouth hanging open. The tension hung in the air, heavy and palpable, and you waited with bated breath for him to react, to say or do something… anything…

Caleb broke into laughter, wild tremors shaking his stupid, sexy body, and you scowled, the irritation only Caleb could wrench from you bubbling to the surface. You opened your mouth to scathingly retaliate when Caleb wiped the tears from his eyes and cooed, “Aww… is my poor Pipsqueak frustrated? Come here. I’ll make it all better for ya.”

You wanted to vehemently refuse, but your body had a mind of its own, and you melted into Caleb’s embrace when he wrapped you in his arms because… well, who were you kidding really.

“I’m warning ya, though, Pipsqueak. Like I said, I’m bigger than six inches,” he whispered in your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe.

You gulped, your heart beating madly in your chest, the anticipation of what was to come flooding you with a blistering heat…

And before you could even process what was happening, you were naked, bracing yourself against the wall, and he was bullying his fat cock into your dripping cunt – and you were dripping because his scent alone drove you insane – stretching you deliciously open, and you gasped because… because, fuck, his cock was just simply godlike.

He wasn’t joking when he said he was bigger than six inches. He was the biggest you’d ever had, and every time his tip kissed your cervix, you keened, your fingernails digging into the standard, white paint of the dorms.

He rutted into you brutally, his broad palm shoving your head into the wall, and your hips bucked back to slam into his because you needed him deeper… harder… 

“Shit, Pipsqueak, taking me so… well,” Caleb grunted, speaking erratically from the exertion. “Ya really…  really aren’t a virgin… are ya?”

“That’s what I’ve… fuck… been saying… you… hah… you asshole!”

Tears stung your eyes because this… this was what you had been searching for… what you craved… what you had been missing in your life.

You were on fire, searing flames blazing into an uncontrollable inferno, ravaging your poor body until there was nothing left and you were shuddering… spasming… pathetically mewling Caleb’s name in strangled sobs.

“Ah, fuck, I can’t— I–” Caleb sputtered, and for the first time, you saw him lose control, and he shouted, “Fuck!” before spilling ribbon after ribbon of his cum into your drooling, convulsing cunt.

It was the first time you’d let someone finish inside of you, and you felt his essence filling you to the brim, creeping out from around his dick and down your quavering inner thighs. Fucking Caleb had been like having a taste of the forbidden fruit, and you smoldered with desire for more… more of the succulent rapture he’d shown you.

Caleb planted his lips on your shoulder, grazing the skin lightly with his teeth, electric sparks radiating from every part of you he touched, and in the depths of your hazy, post-bliss muddled mind, you heard him tauntingly say…

“Geez, Pipsqueak, if ya think that felt good, wait till ya see what I do next.”

[boom-butterflyeffect]

If you don’t mind can you do a NSFW alphabet for Josh or Matt

check out my masterlist for the Matt one! unfortunately it might be a little underwhelming, i haven't looked into his character as much as the others, and i'm only now getting back into writing so my writing is pretty minimal rn, but anyways!

Josh Washington NSFW Alphabet

im honestly so excited for this one, josh is fine as fuck, and in my mind, he's arguably the kinkiest out of them all

A - Aftercare

Josh would get you all cleaned up, kissing you all over while he does so.

B - Body Part (His favourite body part on himself and you)

He loves your lips. Just mesmerised by how pretty they are. His favourite part of himself would probably be his dick, I can't lie

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Messy! gets off to the sight of you with his cum either ON you or dripping out of you.

D - Dirty secret

Has SO MANY ideas for things you two could do. Wouldn't surprise me if he has them written down somewhere.

E - Experience (How experienced he is)

He's got a decent amount of experience, as well as a lot of ideas from the porn he watches.

F - Favorite position

Tbh I feel like Josh would love fucking you from behind while you're on your hands and knees, and he's got his hands on your hips.

G - Goofy (Is he more serious in the moment?)

Can switch back and forth between silly and serious so fast, and you can never quite tell if his seriousness is playful or not.

H - Hair

He keeps it tidy

I - Intimacy

He loves to get up close and personal, whispering in your ear and touching you all over.

J - Jack off

Honestly, a lot. He's got a lot of pent up energy.

K - Kink

I think Josh could potentially enjoy roleplay and costumes, considering how much he seemed to enjoy his whole Psycho act, and with all the movie equipment he has in the basement, I feel like he'd def be into some of the more kinky stuff.

L - Location

Every. Single. Goddamn. Room. In that lodge.

M - Motivation

Literally just seeing you.

N - No (Hard limits)

Anything that goes beyond your basic sadistic stuff, like nothing that would cause bleeding or permanent damage.

O - Oral

Loves both giving and receiving, loves making you squirm with just his tongue, does wonders for his ego seeing you become a mess, and would def be the type to grab you by the hair when receiving and guide your head.

P - Pace

Much like the seriousness, it can switch back and forth really fast. He always keeps you on your toes.

Q - Quickie

Yes. Quick fuck in a college bathroom before class? 100% he's down.

R - Risk

He's all for experimenting and trying out new things, and can enjoy things on the more daring side.

S - Stamina

He's got a LOT of energy, and gets really riled up once he's started.

T - Toys

I could definitely see Josh using toys on you, all sorts of borderline sadistic shit.

U - Unfair

Oh 100% he will degrade and praise you at the same time and leave you confused and whining.

V - Volume

Loud. Very chatty too, and talks you through everything, with all sorts of praise and degradation and teasing and all sorts.

W - Wild card (Random NSFW HC of my choosing)

I could imagine for Halloween he'd dress up as a masked killer from your favourite slasher movie and "hunt you down", he enjoys the thrill of the chase.

X - X-ray (Size)

7 inches (I think I'm just saying the same for all of them tbh idk)

Y - Yearning

Oh he is eager ALL the time, he's the most dirty minded guy in the group, no competition

Z - Zzz

I don't think he'd sleep for a while afterwards tbh, still too high on the adrenaline rush.

Bro it's crazy how much easier this one was than the others, I do really just imagine Josh to be a horny fucker

thank you for the request! Feel free to request other stuff too!

[elsm44]

friends? what friends?

club!ellie x fem!reader (dni -18)

you and ellie meet at a club after your friends ditch, only she has a few things in mind that might make your night a little better… 🌚

warnings: nsfw, cunnilingus, some dirty talk, a little boob stuff, lots of pet names, lowkey in public…, that’s it i think (also not proofread)

the blue club lights gave a rough shadow and outline to every body in the place. loud rap music bounced off the walls, enough to give you a headache if you focused on the noise long enough. pushing through the crowd, you were calling your friends’ names, who were no where to be found.

“callie? mason? liv?” it was no use over the music, but you tried again anyway. “callie?” you yelled louder. “mason? liv?”

people just whipped their heads around and stared at you like it was your fault you ended up in this mess. you told your friends you had to use the bathroom and they swore they’d stay in one spot while you were gone. when you got back? they were gone. again. not the first time this happened, and definitely not the last. you really need to get better friends, you thought.

you decided it was time to get some high ground so you worked your way up to the second floor of the club and scanned your eyes across the room. no sign of them, and not a single idea where they could’ve ended up. usually there was a clue, but this time there wasn’t.

“all alone princess?” a low voice questioned from behind you.

princess?

“excuse me?” you turned yourself around and made eye contact with likely one of the most attractive women you’d ever seen. the dim lighting carved out her toned muscles and made her stare even that more piercing, making your knees a little weak. you pretend you haven’t noticed that feeling as you wait for her response.

“did someone leave you alone? ‘ya look like you’re lookin’ for someone. hm?” the woman leaned against the railing on her back with her elbows holding her up, beer in hand. you examined her face more: the gorgeous freckles sprawled out across her face, her button nose, her full (and kissable) lips, and her hair, tied back half-up-half-down. her outfit was less than underwhelming, but she found a way to make it sexy as all hell: a black hoodie, some black cargo pants, and shoes you couldn’t quite make out under the dark lighting. you did notice the rings on her fingers though, which made your knees even weaker.

“you checkin’ me out?”

you hadn’t realized you were in such a daze. “hm?” you snap out of it, and realize you were shamelessly looking at her hands.

“where are your people, baby?”

you shake your head in anger, honestly livid enough to start crying. “i have no fucking clue. but at this point i don’t care. fuck ‘em.” you roll your eyes and run a hand through your hair.

“just like that, huh? what’s your name mama?” the woman looks you over, examining your tight black tube dress and your silver heels. your silver jewelry accented you beautifully in the blue light, and everything added together was enough to make her swoon. not to mention your scent.

you sighed. “y/n. you?”

she smiles. “that’s a real pretty name, but i’m still gonna call you mama, yeah? i’m ellie.” you try to hide your smile at her shameless flirting.

“promise you won’t ditch me like my asshole friends?”

ellie leans down and in so close to your ear, her lips could brush against you. “i would never mama. now let’s get you a beer, hm? or are you classier than that?” she leans back and smirks.

you two make your way through the crowd to the bar and order two new beers, one for each of you, since she finished hers on your way back downstairs. you sat down on the barstools and began to tell little things about yourselves.

she learned you were a sophomore in college, hoping to make it to the big leagues as a film director. you have a cat named simon, you love lily flowers, and you especially love women.

you learned she’s also a sophomore, a full-time astrophysics student (hello? fuck me already). her dad died about two years back, she’s a stoner, and also, evidentially, loves women.

ellie leaned down to your ear again, this time almost kissing it as she spoke, “why don’t we go downstairs to the lounge? there’s bound to be less people there, yeah?” she leans back and raises an eyebrow, you can only nod because of the rush washing over you.

down at the lounge, surprisingly, there was only two other people there, and they were on the other side of the room. you could only imagine what activities they were up to over there. ellie grabs your hand, “c’mon mama.”

she sits you two down on a round booth and sets your beers down for you two, which she willingly carried downstairs herself. you two sit next to each other, and for just a moment stare into each others’ eyes drunkenly.

“i’m so glad my friends ditched me, ellie.”

“yeah? why’s that, hm?” she smiled and began to rub your thigh, draped over her lap, with her warm hand. the frigidness of her rings made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“‘cause i wouldn’t be able to do this.” you climbed on top of her lap and almost immediately her hands grasped your waist, like it was where they were meant to be all along.

she smirked at this little game you started. “and i wouldn’t be able to do this.” she whispers before latching her lips to your neck. you gasp and flip your hair over to one side so that the area is free for her to work with. you let little breathy moans out and they lead straight to her eardrums, which make her suck on your skin harder.

“i know, y/n. let it out quietly.”

her words of comfort made you weaker on top of her. her hands around your waist went from just touching you because she wanted to to having to hold you steady. she pulled away and finally latched her lips to yours.

she tasted like vanilla chapstick, and her lips were soft and warm. you had missed making out with someone, but this time it was different. it felt right.

both of your breathing both picked up as the making out became sloppier and sloppier, her hands exploring your body. her crotch pushed up against your pussy, which was now only covered by your thin layer of panties under your dress. you pulled back to look around for a second.

“we should go to a bathroom.”

“nah, let’s stay right here mama. is everyone else gone?”

you looked down at her, out of breath, and hummed yes in response. she admired the bruising beginning to form on your neck before answering back to you.

“okay, we can stay here then. yeah?”

“yeah.” your answer was breathy, and you noticed the way you squirmed under her hands, which were pushing you down on to her pants even more. “ellie…”

she immediately kissed your lips again but quickly trailed kisses down your neck and to your chest. she pulled your tube dress down a little to expose your breasts and sucked on your nipples.

she swirled her tongue around each one, taking her time. she pinched the other while very gently nibbling on you, making you moan softly into her ear. her other hand trailed down to in between your legs and up your dress, rubbing your pussy slowly.

“mm..” was all you could get out as she slowly drew circles around your clothed clit.

“i wanna hear you say my name baby.” you could again, only moan in response.

she finally pulls back and says, “here, mama. climb off for a sec.” you climb off of her in confusion, thinking you did something wrong. slowly, ellie crawled and made her way under the table. “c’mere baby.” she waved her fingers for you to move up.

she pulled your legs apart and slowly moved your panties to the side. she quietly moaned at the sight of your bare pussy right in front of her face. it was perfect, every inch of it, and she couldn’t be more excited to make it pulse on her tongue.

without warning, she dove in. she swirled her tongue and sucked on your sensitive bud, causing you to have to hold a hand over your mouth, knowing someone could walk in at any second. you used your other hand to pull your dress up just in case, and then let it find its way down to ellie’s hair.

ellie sucked and licked and flicked her tongue on you like you were her final meal. “i know baby, you like that, hm?” she would say as her tongue slipped in and out of your hole. using the other hand that wasn’t holding your panties to the side, she inserted a finger and began to pump in and out of your pussy.

“oh, god. ellie!” you threw your head back and ground your pussy against her tongue as she sucked harder and harder. once she threw in her second finger, it was over for you. you began to hyperventilate over all of the sensations at once and moaned under the loud music. “please!”

finally, into her mouth, your juices spilled. your body shook as she had to use both hands to hold your legs down. you were a squirming and whining mess over her. she licked your pussy clean, put your panties back into place, and climbed back up next to you, wiping her mouth with the inside of her hoodie sleeve.

“still thinking about your friends?” you giggled at her cheeky question, and kissed her one more time.

“friends? what friends?” there’s only ellie now.

-

a/n

ermmm this is my first time writing like this on tumblr… i hope it isn’t too bad! i’m definitely gonna write more than just smut though

[mothinabottle]

Happy Valentine's day

Aftermath: The chocolate was ruined and May got sick. Wooho!

I had NO time to draw this istg. Did this sketch in two hours or so cuz college had me trapped these days :(

Hope it isn't that underwhelming though. Espero que todos la hayan pasado bien!

[rae-not-rey]

In honor of Voltron being taken off Netflix, here is my review of each of the seasons as I rewatched it for the first time in eight years, as well as my ranking of all of them.

Season one: Kind of boring, a little childish, but I can see where it was setting up future plot arcs (Galra Keith, Shiro trauma).

Season two: Getting more interesting, diving into Keith and Shiro especially. Episodes are just generally more fun than the first season. Characters are taking shape. Bonding moment! LOTOR???????

Season three: This season is much shorter than one and two. I believe this is the beginning of the end, unfortunately. Not as exciting as season two was, but still interesting to watch. Lots of lore, especially on the original paladins. Didn't conclude in a big fight, so it was a little underwhelming.

Season four: I will NEVER get over the scene where Pidge finds Matt's grave. They definitely got way more creative with the animation style this season. The ice show!! The end was slightly disappointing. I'm upset by the lack of Keith, and how short this season was. But overall a decent and fun watch, even if it was in one sitting.

Season five: Started pretty slow, but picks up quick! Krolia is here! I feel like season four and five were meant to be one season, considering how short both of them are. The character and plot arcs also make more sense as one season.

Season six: So far, Keith is gone and Lance is straight. Not pleased. The D&D episode is fun though. SHIRO AND KEITH FIGHT??? Overall, this season turned out pretty... okay. Not awful, but definitely not the best.

Season seven: Starts off with Keith and Shiro, very nice. Romelle makes a point about how fast the plot is moving along and I agree. Oh my God I totally forgot about Adam.

Ranking (favorite to least):

Season two

Season five

Season four

Season six

Season one

Season three

Final thoughts

I never got to rewatch season eight, because I started my rewatch too late. And honestly, I'm not too upset about that. From what I remember, season eight sucked. I hated the ending, it felt rushed, everyone felt out of character.

I was a Voltron fan from the time it aired in 2016 until it ended in 2018 and let me tell you, those two years felt like a lifetime. I'm glad I watched the show. I'm glad I was a fan. It was a huge comfort to me in those two years and the years since. I just can't believe it started airing when I was in middle school, and now I'm almost done with college. It truly is the end of an era.

I'll miss VLD, but it's a different feeling because I never actually rewatched the show. I would say that I was blinded by nostalgia, but honestly, most of the show still held up! Do I think it was rushed and the second half of the show was aimless and drama in the fandom influenced how the end of the show ran? Absolutely. But I still think overall it was a decent show. At the very least, I'm still in love with the characters and the universe, even eight years later.

So long, VLD. You were the best recurring nightmare I could have ever wished for. Perhaps I'll see you on the seven seas someday.

[bibibbon]

My main problem with class 1a and izuku relationship by the end is that it's far too realistic for a superhero story.

Like yes in real life after college or high-school you lose touch with ppl you used to see everyday and it's not bc your a bad friend it's just kinda how the world works. You start a career and a family and get busy and only check up on highshool buddies every now and then but a fictional superpower story shouldn't end like that at all. I mean mha is one of the most "power of friendship" themed stories I've ever scene it's not gonna hurt anybody to make so that they miraculously kept in touch and met up constantly over the years (this is if we pretend that this was the only problem with ending 😅)

When someone asks for a realistic story it doesn't mean I need every character to got the bathroom every couples of hours and trip over themselves unless it's there for a reason. Realistic stories means set up and pay off like for example if your gonna kill a character it'd be realistic to have ppl react to it (cough twices death shouldve impacted more than just Toga cough). What I'm trying to say is that the ending is awful and mha is the defention of wasted potential.

(this rant went a very weird direction and I'm not sure if it makes sense)

Hi @jettanasser 👋

The term realistic can be used as a good and bad thing like you said for a story that has the core theme of WE are the greatest hero and the power of love and friendship that was supposed to carry the last act from the ending of the vigilante arc to the big final fight ending the story with them not meeting eachother as often leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Yes this is realistic but 1A never actually develops a proper found family bond which is why I find the last act so underwhelming because there is no substance to 1A and their bond. Also the way the final chapter ended begs a lot of questions why didn't we ever see 1A members hang out outside of school uniform or hero costume? If there are less villains then why is there more work? Like yes I understand that a lot of heroics isn't just taking down villains but also reforming society but even with that MHA did go to make a point that this is now a society where heroes have free time did it not?

[officialdaydreamer00]

House fire

ROLLO FLAMME — in which one can predict a student exchange program might go south real quick

COLLAB WORK with @unfictinalnightmare for [The chimes of comfort]

CONTENT — takes place after glorious masquerade, our yuusonas (hillary and irene) are yuu, silly shenanigans with hillary and irene, rollo rollo rollo, important things are to be repeated thrice ^-^, irene up to no good :)

TAGGINGS — @cloudcountry @identity-theft-101 @xen-blank @esmerulia-chantelle @dove-da-birb @cookiesandbiscuits @vioisgoinginsane @siren-serenity @loser-jpg @axvwriter @edith-is-a-cat @thehollowwriter @taruruchi @cyanide-latte @aqua-beam @ferris-thewheel + others :3

Do reblog or comment if you enjoy my work! ^-^

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3: The righteous bell keeper || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5

At the port of Sage Island, there stood a lone boy with tired sunken eyes on his pale face, dark eye bags marring his skin.

He glanced at the pocket watch in his hand. 7:45am. Damn these Night Raven College mages, at least they should've come earlier for this.

Rollo was beginning to regret agreeing to this whole thing. He cursed the headmage of Night Raven College for getting him involved with the so-called 'Exchange program', especially when Malleus Draconia, that deleterious force of nature was there. That made Rollo narrowed his eyes in revulsion, unconsciously covering his mouth with his handkerchief. 

"Flamme-senpai, what exactly are you doing?"

A calm voice echoed from behind Rollo, unconsciously drawing out a shudder from him. Rollo undoubtedly forgot that beside Malleus Draconia, there was also a Prefect he swore to stear clear away from. But by Seven, seems like it was inevitable. Rollo quickly put on a calm facade and turned around to greet his guide.

"Ah, Ms. Lovejoy, good morning. I was simply feeling a bit underwhelmed with the sudden change in weather."

Irene looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, she could practically tell what he was thinking, it was written all over his face. But she wouldn't called him out on it, out of politeness.

"G'morning."

Hillary trailed behind the ravenette with Grim in her arms. She gave Rollo a curt bow in greeting, ruby red eyes silently judging his appearance.

He looked like one of the more troublesome folks on campus she rather avoid, and look at that hairstyle and the eye bags,... Hillary thought, pursing her lips with a faint judgemental stare.

To a beauty appreciator like herself, Rollo definitely got a negative out of ten. Not that he was unattractive, quite the opposite actually, but just like every other guy she saw (excluding Pomefiore boys), he didn't know how to take care of himself or utilise his looks.

Hillary stared at Rollo unblinkingly, as if she had made something her life mission, and that sent chills down Rollo's spine.

———————————————————

Irene and Hillary took Rollo on a tour around town before going back to campus.

Irene, as usual, took the lead and introduced to Rollo about Sage Island and Night Raven College in proper tour guide speech, while Grim and Hillary roamed around the marketplace, buying ingredients for their lunch and dinner.

"Let's see... What to cook, what to cook..."

Hillary noted down the list of dishes for the day with a smug smile as she looked at the whole chicken and the cut of beef she bargained for only 500 madols.

The white haired girl takes great pride in her shopping skills. Her ability to bargain along with years of experience always help her bring back cheap yet good-quality ingredients for their daily meals in Ramshackle.

"How about borscht?" Irene suggested, holding up a red beetroot at a vendor nearby.

As much as she hated Hillary, that girl could cook, she had to admit, albeit begrudgingly. She wasn't exactly a picky eater, but some Russian dishes she didn't particularly enjoy was now on her okay list, all because of the snowette.

"Wait, really?" Hillary blinked in surprise, then she shrugged. "Sure, why not. We can make that Vietnamese style chicken curry you like for dinner, then."

Hillary then resumed with her shopping. Irene was looking over Grim and Rollo when she saw a fruit vendor, an evil idea popped up in her mind.

Dark green lips curled up into a mischievous smile, and as Rollo was looking around the town with a bored gaze, she quickly asked Hillary to buy some berries and flour to bake a certain cake.

She simply couldn't wait for dinner to come.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

HOTD 2X01 Review/Thoughts (SPOILERS!)

Finally got to watch 2x01 of HOTD and I must say, it was an ok episode. I feel like this was more of a catch up episode, establishing where all the characters are after the events of the season 1 finale, but it wasn't my favourite episode, it was a bit slow and underwhelming at times and there were other moments where it was just too rushed, but I am hoping the action will pick up more as the season goes on, as I said I think this episode was just kind of showing us the aftermath of s1 ep 9 and 10. But anyway lets get into my thoughts on the episode, as I always say before every review, these are just my own thoughts and opinions and this is your official spoiler warning.

New Opening Credits

So we got some new opening credits, it was cool, a tapestry that is slowing being soaked in blood and showing what I think were scenes from targaryen history and scenes of the dance itself. Like I said it was very cool to look at. However, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but I think I preferred the original credits with the old valyria model and rivers of blood and I kind of miss that title card. I think the original title card showed the bloodlines more, it was almost like a family tree with each cog representing a character. The new title card is more focused on historical events. I think both are interesting to look at though.

The North

I liked the start of the episode and how it showed us a raven, one the was bearing the news of lucerys' death, flying through the north. It was good to see the north again and I found it really interesting to learn that in the past house stark would send one in every ten of their men to the night's watch to keep their numbers boosted and how it was seen as an honour. It was an interesting comparison to the night's watch in GOT which was mostly made up of criminals who were looking for an alternative to being jailed or executed. It showed how over time as the belief in the white walkers existence faded so too did the fear of them and the belief of the night's watch's necessity.

Another thing I liked was Cregan Stark pointing out that the old king in the north knelt to Aegon the conqueror out of fear. I personally feel like both in the show and in the fandom there's this romanticisation of Aegon the conqueror and people seem to think that the lords and kings of Westeros bent the knee to him because they believed he was a good and just man who would unite the realm if he was king. When lets be honest when Aegon first arrived in Westeros nobody knew what kind of man he was or what kind of king he would be, all they knew was that he and his sister wives had three big ass dragons that would burn them all to ash if they resisted him. I spent years studying history, through school, college and university, and one thing that was always drummed into us is that history is written by the victors, so when looking at historical sources we are taught to assess three things, 1 is the source contemporary ie were they there at the time to witness it themselves, 2 is the source accurate and consistent with other sources and 3 does the source have a bias ie whose side was the source on etc. Considering Aegon the Conqueror was the victor it makes sense that he would have everyone saying that he was a good and just king and that's why people bent the knee and would gloss over the part where he was eradicating entire bloodlines and houses as he went around on his dragon burning anyone who got in his way, he won Westeros with fear, fire and blood. Just to be clear I am not saying that Aegon wasn't a good king but just that we shouldn't forget that he was also a conqueror from another land who invaded on a dragon and did some pretty horrific things in order to get the crown.

So I liked that conversation between Cregan and Jace where Cregan pointed this out and I think he also did it in a very diplomatic way. I also think it makes sense that they both have different views on that historical event, Jace knows the victor's version being an ancestor of Aegon means the sources he had access to were the ones that showed Aegon in a positive light, its possible those sources were contemporary to the time but not necessarily to the place and might not have been first hand witnesses, they also likely would have been written by the supporters of the Aegon so would have a bias. Cregan on the other hand would have access to sources written by the northerners, some who may even have physically been there to witness the event, and so would know that the northern king bent the knee in order to safe his people from being burnt by the hundreds and not the targaryen propaganda that it was because they considered Aegon to be the person to unite the realm. I just thought that conversation was interesting. I do wish we could have spent more time with Cregan and Jace in the north.

The Blacks and Their Grief.

Ok so I'm not going to lie, I was in tears almost every time team black were on screen, they were all really feeling their grief at Lucerys' death and it was so painful to watch. Some moments in particular that really hit me hard were:

When Corlys is given the dagger that he had made for Lucerys, it was such a simple moment but it was played so well, like you can see the grief and pain in Corlys' eyes as he looks at the dagger and its just a gut punch.

When Rhaenyra finds arrax's wing and Lucerys' cloak on the beach and she just sinks to her knees and weeps, this moment I just couldn't deal with it, I was full on weeping right with her. Just the complete despair and heartbreak, emma really did an amazing job. They played it so well. First when she sees the fishermen in the distance you can see that flash of pure rage, then when she approaches the wing she has that moment of realisation that Rhaenys was telling Daemon about earlier, that her son really and truly is dead and you see her grief take over as she just collapses and sobs, then there's the moment when Syrax responds to Rhaenyra's grief and pain by letting out her own roar of grief. Just that whole scene really got to me.

The next moment that had me bawling was the moment Jace returns and goes to meet Rhaenyra. There was that tiny moment between him and Baela were she rubs his shoulder before leaving, but then you have Jace trying his hardest to hold it together while telling Rhaenyra that he got the Vale's support and that Cregan was sending men and he's just slowly breaking down along with rhaenyra and she just comes over and wraps him in such a tight hug. I knew when I saw that still it was going to be tough to watch but it was somehow even more heartbreaking than I imagined it being. I think it was the way Jace slowly broke down as opposed to him just coming in and immediately crying, it was his effort of trying to hold it together for his mother. Also the way he just collapsed into his mother's arms when he couldn't hold it in anymore. Ok I've got to stop because I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it.

Then there was the funeral scene. Just the fact that they were burning his clothes and toy because they didn't even have his body to burn already made it more heartbreaking, but then seeing the grief and pain of all those who loved Lucerys. Seeing Rhaena crying because that was her betrothed and she was so happy when their engagement was announced and she must have imagined them having a happy life together and now that is all gone along with Lucerys. Then there was Jace, I swear Jace really is the main cause of my pain this episode, the way he picked up joffrey to help him throw the toy onto the pyre and the way he held him and cupped his face, I just ahhh, Aemond Targaryen when I find you I swear.

Daemon and His Grief

Ok so I want to talk about Daemon separately here because I haven't been in the HOTD tag yet as I've only just finished watching the episode and I wanted to write this review while it was still all fresh in my mind, but I suspect I already know what I am going to find and it'll be a load of posts talking about how heartless and unfeeling Daemon is about his stepson's death and how all he cares about is the war and he's blaming everyone else la di da di da. But here's the thing, in my opinion its the complete opposite. It not that Daemon is heartless and doesn't care about Lucerys, he cares too much, this is how Daemon processes grief, it was the same when his brother and unborn daughter died. The way Daemon deals with his grief is by going into protective mode, his mind is set on one goal right now and that is to ensure the safety of Rhaenyra and the rest of his family. We saw him do this after Viserys' death his immediate course of action was ensuring there were dragon's patrolling Dragonstone so that his family was safe. His plan here is similar and actually makes sense too, Vhagar is the main threat to his family right now, so going and killing Vhagar and her rider will not only serve to protect his family from that threat but will also allow him to exact revenge on Aemond for Lucerys death. Daemon couldn't protect his brother and he couldn't protect and save his unborn daughter, and he couldn't protect Lucerys, he has, like rhaenyra and the rest of the blacks, had loss after loss after loss, all in the space of a few days. Of course he is reeling from it and is frustrated by it, the thing that Daemon struggles with the most is feeling useless and helpless and being inactive so honestly his actions in this episode make perfect sense for his character.

So let's talk about the whole him blaming everyone else for Lucerys death. Firstly when he tells Rhaenys that if she had acted at the coronation then Aegon's line would have been wiped out and Luke would still be alive. Honestly here he does have a point and lets be honest we were all saying the same thing after that episode aired, I mean there was a collective frustration at that scene because they were right there, one moment, one dracarys and the war would have been avoided. Personally I blame the writing but for arguments sake lets look at it from the character's pov. I did understand where Rhaenys was coming from when she said it wasn't her war to start, she doesn't have foresight so she couldn't have known that Luke's death was coming and I am sure looking back part of her now regrets not acting. But if she had acted she would have been a kinslayer herself and the whole thing is a complicated mess. However I can also understand that in his own grief and pain Daemon is looking for someone to blame, its a natural part of grief to be honest, and so I can see why he was frustrated that Rhaenys didn't take that opportunity to kill the greens.

I think its that same reasoning when he says to Erryk that he had the opportunity to kill Aegon and didn't. Again I can see both sides, because yeah Erryk could have killed Aegon and that might have averted the war or they might have put Aegon's son or Aemond on the throne instead. Erryk also had an excellent point when he said that he swore an oath as a king's guard to protect the royal family so what was he supposed to do when that family turned on each other, again complicated mess of a situation. The point is that its all woulda, shoulda, coulda, and its pointless dwelling on it, however its also a natural response to a situation like this and to grief, so to me it makes sense that Daemon is displaying these very normal, natural and human emotions in his time of grief.

However I think the person who really hit the nail on the head when it comes to Daemon's behaviour is Mysaria. When he turns the blame and anger on her and blames her for not doing anything to stop the coronation and for giving Aegon back to the greens she tells him that he is directing his anger at her because the ones he is really angry at are out of his reach. My god when she said this I was just like, yes exactly. It was so on point with what I was thinking myself. He really blames Aemond and the Greens for Lucerys death, for Rhaenyra's throne being usurped and everything else that has happened, his anger is really with Aemond and the Greens, but at this moment he can't get to Aemond and the Greens, he knows that Aemond, Vhagar and The Greens are a threat to his surviving family too, but he can't get to them and so he can't protect his family and all of this is making him feel useless and helpless and more and more frustrated and, as we all know from season one, a angry and frustrated Daemon is a Daemon that lashes out.

This is also reaffirmed for me when we see Daemon's reaction to Rhaenyra saying that she wants Aemond, this is it, the moment he was waiting for, the moment where he now has permission and orders to go after the person who he is truly angry with and who he truly blames, finally he has something to do and that is why he has that smile/smirk as Rhaenyra is walking away.

Rhaenys

There are a couple of moments here that I want to talk about some good, some bad, or more where I can see where the writers were coming from but it just didn't make sense for me. The first thing is when Rhaenys says that she thinks its a good thing that Rhaenyra isn't acting out of vengeance, this was obviously a dig at Daemon and she was basically saying that he is hot headed for wanting to go hunt down Vhagar and Aemond and he was letting vengeance influence his actions whereas Rhaenyra is showing restraint etc. And I get the message the writers are trying to get across here, revenge bad, revenge leads to more trouble, war bad, think things through carefully blah blah blah. But let's be real here this comment is stupid because the only reason Rhaenyra isn't seeking revenge right now is because she is too lost in her grief and in searching for Lucerys' remains to act on her revengeful feelings, its not a case of Rhaenyra is angry but she is showing restraint anyway situation, I mean the moment she finds arrax's remains and knows for sure that her son is dead she is right in her vengeful 'I want Aemond Targaryen' era.

Another line I didn't think made much sense was the 'if only you were king' line, again I get it is supposed to be a badass moment for Rhaenys, ain't no man going to tell her what to do, the problem is umm Daemon kind of is the king, well the king consort at least, right? Not only that but in the conversation before this line they establish that Rhaenyra is absent/indisposed and as we saw from season one when Viserys was indisposed its usually the hand and the consort who give the commands and run things. So Daemon as consort would be able to give commands in Rhaenyra's absence, so that makes the line fall a little flat, as Daemon gives a command which as Consort during the absence of the ruling monarch is a perfectly reasonable thing to do and Rhaenys response was kind of oh if only you were in a position of power where you could give out commands, except he is in a position of power where he can give out commands. To be clear I'm not saying that Rhaenys wasn't right to refuse to go to King's Landing without Rhaenyra's say so, I just think the line was a little too on the nose. I mean they could have written it differently and still got the same effect, I take no commands but from the queen herself, I'll not act until the queen returns etc. They've done this a few times with Rhaenys where they give her these lines that are kind of like a mouthpiece for their own political views and opinions but it often comes across as too forced in my opinion, kind of shoehorned in. Rhaenys is already a badass female dragon rider they really don't need to force it.

One scene I did really like though was the one where Rhaenys talks about what it was like for her to receive news of Laena's death through a raven and how she spent weeks unable to accept it was true, that it was only once she saw her child's remains that she was able to accept the fact and that was what Rhaenyra was currently going through. I thought it was interesting that you could see the joint grief her and Daemon were sharing at the mention of Laena, I mean you see Daemon's entire demeanour change at the mention of Laena's name. I also thought it was interesting that Rhaenys used such a vulnerable and personal example to help Daemon understand what Rhaenyra is going through. It was a really interesting moment between those two characters and I do wonder if its because Rhaenys can relate to not just what Rhaenyra is feeling at the moment but also what Daemon is, after Laena's death Rhaenys too found people and things to place the blame on, she blamed the maesters of essos believing they weren't qualified enough to save Laena, but she mostly blamed Daemon for not letting Laena come home when really it was just a crappy situation, complications in childbirth and she could have still lost her life even if she was at driftmark. So I think she can understand Daemon's frustration at not being able to do anything and failing to protect Lucerys but also how in his anger he is blaming whoever he can in an attempt to make sense of his loss. But she also isn't going to put up with his crap either and that's what we love about her.

Aegon The Magnanimous.

One thing this episode did make me sure of is despite his best efforts, Aegon is so not cut out to be King. Like it was nice that he wanted to give the sheep back etc, but I didn't get the impression he really knows much about ruling, he didn't seem to think about it much before giving an answer, it was just yes of course you can have your sheep back but then Otto had to remind him that the crown needs those sheep to feed the dragons who are now exerting more energy flying patrols and in the war etc, so Aegon had to take his word back which isn't a great look. Then there was in incident in the small council where he brought his son jaehaerys, who was clearly too young to be at the meeting and just caused distractions. Don't get me wrong the kid was cute and it was kind of funny seeing Tyrell struggling with the kid, but Aegon's suggestion that Tyrell give him a pony ride was not good. As king you don't want to be humiliating members of your small council and this could definitely be seen as an act of humiliation which is why Alicent had to step in to avoid a problem coming up and to diffuse the situation.

We also see that he is rather hot headed as his response to any problems seems to be lets just send Vhagar and our other dragons to burn them all to ash and again Alicent had to interfere and point out that it wasn't the best course of action.

It was also kind of funny to me that you had Larys whispering in Aegon's ear that Otto was controlling him just like he did with Viserys who was seen as a push over and he didn't want to be see the same way as his father, as someone who is pushed around and controlled by others. Yet the whole episode and even in this moment with Larys we see Aegon being controlled and managed by others. I do wonder if he will at any point start pushing back and ignoring everyone else's advice, even if its good advice.

All of that being said one thing I will say is it does seem to me that Aegon at least wants to try and be a good king. But he just doesn't seem to have any idea what he is doing, he thinks he needs to keep the small folk happy, which is true keeping the small folk happy is important but you also have to measure that up against other elements and factors such as feeding your dragons. It's a balance. He also thinks that its important to prepare his heir for when they take the throne, again true, but again he doesn't realise that Jaehaerys is just too young to be at a council meeting and isn't going to learn anything beneficial there just yet and he also removed him from his classes in order to take him to the council meeting when the classes are something that would benefit him right now, small council meetings come later when they are old enough to understand what is actually happening. As cute as it was to see Aegon so happy and delighted with his son, this was a miss-step on his part.

I feel like ultimately Otto and the others spent so much time plotting to put Aegon on the throne and not enough time actually preparing him to be on the throne. Also the fact that Rhaenyra was the named heir is playing a factor in this, because she was the named heir she was the one attending small council meetings and who ruled over dragonstone and so has an understanding and training in how to rule, Aegon wasn't the named heir and so never attended the meeting or given any experience ruling, he was given no formal training at all and I think Otto is starting to realise the repercussions of that.

Alicent and Cole

Honestly I can't say I was that surprised that these two got together, all the way back in episode 1x01 it seemed like Alicent had a bit of a crush on Criston and there was definitely some tension between them in the 1x09 where she says everything you feel for me as your queen scene, however I am in two opinions on this one because on one hand I'm like good for Alicent, she took control of her own sexuality and had a pleasurable experience, or many experiences possibly seeing as we don't know how long this has gone on for, with a partner of her choosing. But then I think about all the times she and Cole slut-shamed Rhaenyra for having sex outside of marriage, of the fact that Alicent is now doing the very thing that she judged Rhaenyra for back in 1x04, something that she then pretty much publicly declared war on rhaenyra at her engagement party over, I remember how Cole reacted so strongly to the suggestion that he and rhaenyra could continue with their intimate relationship in private with anger and accused her of making him her whore and that he had sullied his white cloak and yet here he is conducting an intimate relationship with the queen and I guess continuing to sully his white cloak and I'm like HYPOCRITES! But then I sit and think about it some more and I realise that Alicent and Cole have always been hypocrites and this is old news, honestly that white cloak of criston's is just seeped in blood and hypocrisy at this point, so honestly on point for their characters.

I also think there was an interesting parallel in that in 1x04 we see Rhaenyra helping Criston remove his King's guard uniform and cloak and in this episode we see Alicent helping him put it back on. With Rhaenyra it was him making that choice to shed the uniform and forsake his oath so that he could be intimate with Rhaenyra, almost like he was shedding that identity as a pure, dutiful and honest King's Guard, here he is continuing to forsake his oath and so to me it felt like Alicent was helping him put a costume or disguise back on, like he's getting back into playing the role of a King's guard.

I am curious to see where they take this relationship as it already seems like they feel some conflicting feelings over it, on one side they clearly have an attraction to each other, it feels good when they are intimate and they have that pull towards each other, but they also seem to have that guilt as well, Cole for breaking his oath and Alicent because of her religious views around sex and marriage etc. I feel like that guilt is going to increase even more giving the end of the episode.

Blood and Cheese

Ok so I haven't read the books but I did get spoiled a week or two ago on some of the details around blood and cheese, I am going to put a quick book spoiler warning here because I am going to discuss the book version of Blood and Cheese so if you don't want to know that info skip to the *. What I knew going into the episode was that Aegon's son is killed by assassin's hired by Daemon in an act of revenge for Lucerys death. That was it. After watching the episode I did do a quick google search and read the wiki page covering this event because I was curious to know how it happened in the book. In the book it is so much more horrifying because Helaena has three children not two and has to choose between her two sons as to who dies. She chooses the younger one but blood and cheese instead kill the older, Jaehaerys and so not only does Helaena have to live with this horrific choice she was forced to make but her son Maelor also knows that his mother chose him to die. The whole situation is just awful. However in the show it was really underwhelming.

*Before the episode aired I made a post explaining how I was worried that blood and cheese wouldn't make that much of an impact because the writers didn't spend enough time with Aegon's son and children for us as an audience to gain a personal attachment to them and unfortunately I think that is still true. There were also alot of posts talking about how blood and cheese was going to be HOTD's version of the red wedding which I think made the scene even more underwhelming. With the red wedding we had spent three seasons with the characters involved, we were strongly attached to them and on top of that the scene was brutal and bloody and very, very shocking. This scene didn't even come close to being comparable.

Not only did we not have a personal attachment as an audience to Jaehaerys, we had only gotten a few minutes of him in this episode which were cute but not enough to make a strong attachment, but the scene just seemed very rushed and they removed a lot of the more horrific and shocking elements of the book, it was very tamed down. I kind of got what they were trying to do but they failed massively.

So lets talk about it from the beginning, Daemon's role in it. You know what, after learning about b+c, I was talking to a friend about the show and all the 'accidents' that happened last season like luke's death etc and I joked that if it was team green that had orchestrated blood and cheese then the writers would somehow make it an accident, like they would hire someone to just scare the greens but the guy would trip and accidently cut off Jaehaerys head or something, which didn't happen but they still made it a mistake which I low key find hilarious. I mean the scene is ambiguous I guess. But Daemon is actually after Aemond, which to me does make more sense in terms of getting revenge for Lucerys death as Aemond is the one that actually killed him, so I would think Daemon's retaliation would be against him directly. But then there is that moment where they ask what if they can't find Aemond and Daemon doesn't respond and they cut away so you don't know for sure what he said. They do this alot with Daemon's character, like they cut away from the heir for a day speech so we don't know if he really said it or even how he said. I think Matt may have confirmed that he did say it but it was more in a sorrowful way and to honour his lost nephew and not to celebrate his death, but I am not 100% sure on that so don't quote me. They also cut away when he killed Rhea Royce so we don't know for absolute sure that he killed her, but I mean it seems obvious that he did considering we see him pick up a rock and I think the writers and ryan have said that he did. But now they've done it again here and at first it was kind of interesting and made his character a bit of mystery, but honestly now its starting to feel a bit like lazy writing. But hey that's just may opinion.

As for what I think Daemon's response to the question was, I really don't know. There was one moment where blood, I think it was blood anyway, says you heard the prince no head no money, which made me think ok well then that was what Daemon's response was, what if we can't find Aemond, no head no money, that simple and then Blood and Cheese just decided to kill Jaehaerys because cheese got caught by Helaena and there was a male targaryen there so this will have to do, we've been seen now so we've got to wrap this up quick if we want to also get away and claim our money.

But then we also hear Blood say it has to be a son for a son, which is makes it more ambiguous because again we didn't see this part of the conversation so we don't know if Daemon also said no head no money and then added but if you don't find Aemond any male will do just make it a son for a son. Personally I don't think it really makes sense for Daemon to be happy with anyone else's head, I mean his whole attention up to this point was on killing Vhagar and Aemond, Rhaenyra specifically said she wants Aemond and it was in response to this that Daemon went out and hired blood and cheese in the first place. I personally don't think Daemon would settle for just anyone else's head so long as it was a son. Daemon just does not seem like the kind of person who settles so to me the more likely scenario is this, Daemon goes to blood and tells him to bring him Aemond's head, even goes so far as to describe what Aemond looks like and points out that he shouldn't be hard to spot. He gives him half the money and promises the other half once the deed is done, blood asks what if he can't find Aemond and Daemon's response is basically find him or else you ain't getting no more money and maybe says something like he said to rhaenys like I'm making it a son for a son, or it must be a son for a son, meaning nothing is acceptable but aemond's head and the son part is only in reference to aemond saying an eye for an eye before killing Luke. Blood and cheese enter the keep, cheese stumbles into the children's quarters and is caught by heleana, realising that they have little time now that they've been seen blood figures well Daemon said that thing about a son for a son, completely misinterpreting it and thinking so he'll be ok with it being this son's head instead of Aemond's. I mean I'll be honest blood and cheese did not seem like the brightest bulbs in the box so I could see them thinking Daemon would be happy with this alternative. But as I said the writers made it really ambiguous so who the hell knows what really happened, I mean we as the audience don't need all the details anyway right.

Ok so lets talk about the actual scene itself. As I said above I do kind of understand what they were trying to do here. they still wanted helaena to make a difficult choice and so they added this whole thing about how the twins look exactly alike and so you can't tell which is which, so this creates the situation where Helaena has to choose to tell blood and cheese which one is the boy, so basically they've changed the choice to Helaena has to choose whether to save the boy or the girl, maybe they changed this to make some commentary on how more value is put into boys than girls, I guess. It's still a heartbreaking choice for Helaena to make, she is put into this position because they've threatened to kill them all if she doesn't tell them, so its basically she chooses to tell them which one is the boy and her child dies or all of them die. She tries offering them her necklace and tells them its very valuable which makes sense in that she's aware they've been paid or will be paid and so she is hoping that the value of the necklace will spare her children. However they just take the necklace so she still has to make the choice. I do think they played Helaena's terror and horror at what was happening very subtly, she wasn't screaming or begging really, she seemed very disassociated from the situation but you could still see the terror there in her eyes.

When she runs to Alicent and tells her they killed the boy I did, at first, think it was odd that she said the boy and not like her boy or her son, like she wasn't sobbing saying they killed my boy, she looked shellshocked and said the boy. Then I realised why she said this. When she makes the choice and she points at Jaehaerys, blood says she is lying that she wouldn't give up the heir that easily. Which I think is actually true, I think her actual choice was the girl but she knew that blood and cheese wouldn't believe her, that they would assume she was lying, so she choose to sacrifice the girl but believed that if she pointed to the girl that blood and cheese would think she was lying and kill the other one, the boy. So instead she pointed to the boy thinking blood and cheese would then kill the girl. Hoping that I'm making sense here. But cheese then realises that this is what Helaena is trying to do and they kill the boy. So when Helaena says 'they killed the boy' she actually means it as I chose the girl but they killed the boy. Almost like they killed the wrong one, not that I am saying Helaena wanted her daughter to die obviously she didn't want any of her children to die but I think she was just in shock because she was confronted with this choice save the girl or save the boy, she chose to save the boy but he was killed anyway and so now she's just on the floor rocking the child that lived and trying to process through this trauma and process what just happened, so its more like she's telling herself, they killed the boy and she can't really believe that it really happened, I think the term the boy really is because of that choice she was presented with, the horror of having to choose between her children was so traumatic that its just there in her mind, if I am making sense.

Another possibility is that it seems like Helaena may have seen a vision of this happening, she says to Aegon that she is afraid of the rats and I think this is clearly in relation to blood and cheese, seeing as cheese is a rat catcher and they come in posed as rat catchers. So its possible that she had a vision but it only showed her up to the point of her making the choice. She saw herself in the vision choosing to save her son and sacrifice her daughter so her fear was that her daughter was going to die at the hands of 'the rats'. But then when her vision comes to pass it is actually her son that is killed and so as she is trying to process everything she is thinking about how she had expected and maybe even partly prepared herself for her daughter to die but then they kill the boy and this just completely breaks her mind.

All of this being said, when it comes to the scene as a whole, as I said, it was underwhelming and it felt rushed, the sounds of Jaehaerys being killed as helaena ran from the room clutching her other child was the only moment that particularly had an effect on me when I was watching it. Like that was disturbing to me and I felt that horror starting to creep in but that was then totally thrown away when Helaena runs into Alicent's room and Alicent is literally riding Cole, so Helaena who is already traumatised and is clutching a young child, then panics again and tries to turn away but like where the hell is she supposed to go, her son is literally being murdered as they speak, she's under threat and trying to get her child to safety and then she walks in on that, knows its supposed to be a secret and not something she was supposed to see but can't possible process that right now because of all the other trauma she is currently experiencing and so she just collapses on the ground and rocks her child while Alicent and Cole look on awkwardly. It was a very weird way to end the episode if I am being honest.

I just feel like if I sit and think it over, yes I can see what they were trying to do, I can see how horrifying the choice Helaena had to make between her children was, I can see that a young child being held down in a bed whilst their throat is cut, and possibly their head cut off is truly disturbing, the sounds were horrifying, I can see how Helaena happening upon Alicent and Cole could lead to them both fearing Helaena speaking on it later and revealing their secret and how the guilt will plague them because they were being intimate at the same time that such a terrible act was happening. But it just did not work on screen for me, the concept was there the execution wasn't and in the moment I really didn't feel much. Like I said the only moment when I felt a stirring of horror was when Helaena was fleeing with her child. It was just too rushed and too poorly written I think.

Anyway those are my thoughts on the episode so far. It really was a mixed bag because there were some moments, particularly when dealing with the aftermath of Lucerys death that were really great and really moved me, but then there were others where they fell short. Despite that I am curious to see what will happen next episode and what the repercussions will be, Maybe seeing everyone's reactions to Jaehaerys' death will make it have more of an impact and maybe Daemon's reaction will give as more clarity on whether he did give the go ahead for it to be any male heir or not. We'll have to see.

[eversleepings]

disclaimer: i love kel omori

was talking to juno (hi juno!!!!!!!!) last night about something or other and i got on the topic of kel. and i thought about him.

i generally like the interpretation that he's accepted mari's death.

i know some people like to make it so that he hasn't, that he's faking a smile, but i truly believe he did. mostly because my idea of acceptance =/= never grieving. i still think kel is grieving, but he's accepted that mari's dead, and he's accepted how mari died, and maybe he's accepted that there was nothing he (a 12 year old at the time) could've done to help her (or what he thought was happening).

tl;dr: kel is complex (but not in the way most people think) and i would like to read more flawed kel please. a scrap for the desperate.

this is, obviously, a stark difference from the rest of the cast. sunny is directly in denial of her death, and in the first few days, convinces himself she's just in college. aubrey doesn't directly deny her death, but she seemingly is unable to accept that mari would kill herself - and hero moves from being unable to accept mari's death as a whole to accepting her death, and that she killed herself, but not that he couldn't have helped, and not that he isn't at fault (again, all theories)

so kel accepted mari's death. seemingly, this is where most misunderstandings come from over the game. what i want to talk about is one of the bigger ones: (apologies for the bad photo quality)

[in case you can't see - KEL: You know, MARI would be really sad to hear that...]

THIS scene right here.

this is also the scene where aubrey drops the bomb that mari is dead. The "It Means Everything" scene. one of the most iconic scenes in the game. but I never see anyone ever talking about this line of dialogue from Kel and one of his earlier ones, where he brings up how they used to be friends.

kel throwing mari's death in aubrey's face and i don't even think he meant to do it.

he truly believes that because they used to be friends, aubrey should listen to him. he truly believes, and is probably right, that mari doesn't want them to fight. but he throws her (seeming) suicide in aubrey's face in order to try and get her to see things his way, and stop bullying basil, and she lashes out, resulting in the following fight.

i see lots of interpretations where kel is knocking on sunny's door for 4 years. if that's the case, why didn't he talk to aubrey? since we have no knowledge of the 4 years, we can only assume that either 1. he did, and was rebuked (likely if he was 'too late'), or 2. he didn't, period, for whatever reason.

and the thing is, i didn't even like aubrey when i first played omori. i thought she was annoying and a bully, and i thought her "redemption" was underwhelming and rushed, and i hated it. i've gotten over it now but we are framed to see (rightfully) that aubrey is in the wrong - allowing us to ignore kel's part in this.

the game establishes aubrey as an enemy pretty quick. she fights you in her first scene, her hooligang are the obstacles for most of your tasks on the first day, she stole something from basil (someone you likely have an emotional connection to via. headspace, and sunny as our pov character has a connection to) and she's bullying him. the only other people we fight in the rw are all imaginary.

kel is our deurotagonist (secondary protag) for the real world. he's our guiding light, the rock in the shore. he must be right because we have to be right. and he generally is!

it is wrong to steal and bully from basil. and aubrey is in the wrong to attack us. but, while not an excuse, kel hurts her emotionally, and doesn't even apologize or acknowledge it - and this is likely why despite kel's seeming social prowess, it's hero (a neutral third party, who always has deescalated their arguments) who has to step in to stop their feud.

kel tries to get aubrey to see how he feels, and in doing so, says some of the most hurtful shit on the planet. so aubrey says it right back. this is the fundamental misunderstanding that separates them, even though they seemed really close, despite their arguing, as kids.

i just think kel is pretty complex, but not in the way people think he is (the earlier mentioned fake smile stuff). i think he also has his flaws, like the rest of the cast (minus mari and hero) that we miss because we're so focused on aubrey here (esp since her reaction afterwards is again, really iconic) and i wanted to share my thoughts.

also made this post because i want more flawed kel please. please give us more fucked up kel thanks xoxo

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

Also,

What up Byler tumblr?!!!

I've been gone for probably months now since I started this semester of college. I'm nearly done so it's only right I make a reappearance... I plan to do a full series rewatch soon. Usually I start my rewatch on ST day but I've been preoccupied watching Twin Peaks... you might be seeing a lot of that from me soon, just giving you a warning I have fallen hopelessly in love with Dale Cooper and, in turn, David Lynch So Anyway... I'm wondering if I missed anything??? The ST Day stuff was pretty underwhelming given this'll probably be the final ST day pre-season release, assuming that ST5 releases October '25.. Any new theories? Content I may have missed? I'm subscribed to the ST Channel on Insta but it's rlly boring most of the time, but does anyone have any prop/background decoration analysis? Idk, I want more content😭 The picture of Hop and Joyce felt like the only new thing we got besides the pic of Jonathan, Nancy, Dustin, and Steve :/

[cheesetalia]

teach my heart to bend instead of breaking

For @hetalia-rarepairweek's Day 1: History & Mythology England/Canada | 1.1k words | warnings: none for this installment, eventual cheating and dubcon.

Summary:

Matthew Williams is an unusual student, a diamond shining brightly amid a sea of clods. That’s how Arthur Kirkland, his history professor sees him. Arthur’s only intention in taking Matthew under his wing is to nurture a rare talent, but it’s possible to become too close to a student. Already on thin ice with his wife and the university due to his prickly personality, getting entangled with Matthew might be what finally deals the deathblow to his marriage—and worse, his career.

Can be read on the Archive of Our Own or underneath the Readmore:

Most of the students in Professor Kirkland’s History 101 class had tuned out his snippy British voice that went on and on about historical happenings they did not care about in the slightest. Those who were paying any attention at all glared at his turned back.

Matthew however, sitting in the front row leaning forward with his chin resting on his hand, staring raptly as Professor Kirkland scrawled dates and names on the board, was an exception. He found the grumpy little man absolutely enchanting. Other students might bitch about the chalkboard, claiming the dust was nasty and that it was an antique not suited for a modern classroom, but Matthew thought it was an adorable little quirk. This was a history class after all, so shouldn't they benefit from a few antiquarian touches?

It wasn’t just the oddities like the chalkboard that had the other students pissed off though. No, it was because despite this being an intro history class (intended as a broad, shallow, and above all <i>easy</i> survey of history appropriate for non-majors) the coursework was as difficult and ruthlessly graded as most of the senior level history classes. The only one more difficult was the senior thesis class for history majors.

Pity the student who dawdled in signing up for courses and got stuck in Arthur Kirkland’s history class!

Matthew hadn’t bothered to try and dodge certain professors who were rumored to be hardasses. He’d been an honors student in high school but had often been bored and underwhelmed by the classwork. Now, in his very first semester of college he was finally being challenged. Professor Kirkland didn’t let them slack or skate by and Matthew appreciated that. It felt good to be treated like an adult, an equal, instead of having a teacher go easy on them because “they’re just kids”.

If the students had no love or respect for Professor Kirkland, the feeling was mutual. Although Arthur never said it, he clearly communicated with his venomous glares and voice dripping with scorn, exactly what he thought of the imbeciles he had to teach. Served them right in Matthew’s opinion; this wasn’t high school and they shouldn’t be clowning about or neglecting their coursework. This was college; they should take it <i>seriously</i>.

In a mirror of Matthew's attitude, Arthur saw Matthew as a rare exception in a classroom full of brainless teenagers. The slim blonde teen that always sat in the first row might be meek and quiet but Arthur could tell from his essays and tests that he paid attention and actually put the work in to do the required reading. Arthur was never big on so-called classroom participation from students anyway; there was no benefit in letting them show off their ignorance, flaunt their juvenile and asinine “opinions”.

Many professors warmly advertised their office hours and invited students to drop-in for anything, even just a chat. Arthur didn’t.

But when Matthew finally worked up the courage to linger in the room after the class was dismissed, hovering next to Arthur’s desk, Arthur didn’t send him packing. It wasn’t out of some change of heart (the administration was constantly badgering him to be nicer to the students, but Arthur had taught at this particular institution for over fifteen years now, and there was no way he was going to kiss the idiot students’ arses just because everyone else was getting soft in this modern age). It was because Arthur thought there was a chance—however slim—that Matthew might not be a complete waste of his time.

Matthew, with his big awe-filled violet eyes, graceful manners, always surrounded by the soft scent of pinewood and maple sugar, was a lot easier to endure standing near than most of the stinking sweaty hungover students that Arthur dealt with. Maybe, Arthur thought, if most of his students were as pleasant as Matthew it wouldn’t be so difficult to smile at them. He didn’t have to make an effort with Matthew; talking with him, the corners of his mouth naturally lifted up as he listened to Matthew’s shy questioning about the end of term paper Arthur had assigned them.

He answered Matthew’s questions and even voluntarily pointed him towards some good sources for the subject they’d be writing about. Arthur lost track of time chatting with the young man about what they’d covered in class so far, only realizing he had to be at home for dinner in twenty minutes because his smartwatch went off. (He despised it; but it was a gift from Gilberte so he wore it anyway, while never passing up a chance to bitch about it to her.)

“Well I must be going now. If you have any other questions you can speak with me after next class.” Arthur said.

It was a high honor; he’d never yet in all his years implied to a student that any imposition on his time would be welcome.

“Thank you for your time Professor, I’ll see you next time.” Matthew said, giving a shy little wave as he headed for the door.

Despite the fact that he really needed to get going if he was to make it home in time for Gilberte to not throw a bitchfit, Arthur didn’t grab his things and make to leave. He felt strangely off. What was causing it? The conversation with Matthew, if an unusual occurrence, was not about anything out of the ordinary for a history professor and the student (even if it was highly unusual for <i>Arthur</i> and a student).

It took Arthur a moment to realize what it was. His teeth weren’t gritted tightly in his mouth. His fingernails weren't digging into the flesh of his palms. The overwhelming urge to bite someone or kick them out a window was absent... Instead of feeling aggravated, like conversations with people usually left him, Arthur felt refreshed. Invigorated. There was still a little lingering on his face and he didn't know why.

Arthur went hunting through his desk for the little index card he made all the students fill out at the beginning of term (he never paid any mind to them; it was purely a farce meant to appease the administration by showing he was making an effort to “connect with” the students.)

There, at the very back he found it—Williams, Matthew.

A freshman from Canada, whose hobbies included playing hockey and cooking. That explained his tight, fit body at least.

And there at the bottom–major: undeclared. Maybe Arthur could have a talk with the boy about his aptitude for the humanities. He was clearly a cut above the usual moronic students Arthur was surrounded by. The history department could only be enlivened by having an undergrad student who actually had a brain.

Not to mention, this would put Matthew in more of Arthur's classes, since the college only required this one history class as part of the general education requirements.

Yes, he would have to talk to Matthew about it right away.

[ragnarlothcat]

trope selection tag game

Tagged by @renlyslittlerose (thank you friend!!!)

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers - although truthfully I do like both! I suppose it depends on fandom and the type of enemies involved. Sometimes I think there's too much legwork that needs doing to make an enemies to lovers scenario click and I've got places to be, you know?

coffee shop au or flower shop au - I was not aware that flower shop AUs were an established subgenre of fanfiction. I don't think I've ever read one! But I have read a couple coffee shop AUs and enjoyed them, so.

hurt/comfort or there was only one bed - I have a pretty low angst tolerance (certainly for someone most active in the "betrayal and child murder" fandom) so while I do like the idea of hurt/comfort more for the catharsis, I click out easily if I start to feel too hurt. Whereas I do always love some forced proximity!

found family or partners in crime - I like both! But partners in crime has a high chance of shenanigans. And I've been known to dabble in shenanigans.

canon compliant or canon divergent - again, I am sad and weak and bad at angst and my most active fandom is already maximum angst. I've dabbled in canon compliant fic but when I'm the one writing I tend to gloss over the worst of it. If I want to be miserable about Star Wars I've already got options!

fluff or angst with a happy ending - look, the suffering market is well supplied. Occasionally I show up and write a fic with no plot and no conflict whatsoever. I fulfill a specific ecological niche and I appreciate others who do the same!

1st person pov or 3rd person pov - yeah I'm with lemon on this one. I'm barely tolerant of 1st person in published fiction but I will click out of it instantly for fic.

soulmates or forbidden love - I imagine there are some neat soulmates fics that do interesting things with the trope but as a concept they underwhelm me. Forbidden love is great though. Who is forbidding it? Were they right to do so?

roommates or fake dating - I read one of those Reylo fics that was turned into original fiction and the whole time I was thinking that the story had not provided a good enough reason for the protagonist to pretend to date some guy. In reality randos don't care that much about other people's love lives. But being into a guy who lives in your house and who you can't avoid is very interesting.

slow burn or meet-cute - what can I say? I love a meet-cute. I like an opportunity to describe these characters in elaborate worshipful detail. I'm a simple creature.

love triangle or polyamorous relationship - I don't think I've read or written either! I'm not so much into multiple people as a concept but with a love triangle I suppose you can write the third person off somewhere and let it resolve itself with my blorbos in love.

royalty au or magic au - I don't feel that strongly about this one but I feel like I've read and enjoyed more of the former. Plus in a royalty AU there's a higher chance of Outfits.

high school/college au or neighbours au - if we're talking about obikin (and I often am!) my biggest weakness is professor/student AUs so I am contractually obligated to pick this one.

mutual pining or idiots to lovers - isn't this the same thing? I'm genuinely asking! I always thought idiots to lovers was just a sillier way of describing mutual pining, as in the idiots aren't aware that they're both in love? Maybe the distinction is mutual pining doesn't necessarily work out? In which case I pick idiots to lovers because I do need my piners to get together.

Tagging: @artemisthehuntress, @disast3rtransp0rt, @bi-wan, @intermundia, @thegingerwrites, @betweensaintsandmonsters, @treescape (but as always, no pressure! I have no idea who has been tagged already)

[seenoversundown]

Sparrow Of the Dawn : Chapter 2

Warnings: Drinking, Self deprecating humor, otherwise fluff - unfortunately comedic themes.

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary : Sam unfortunately finds himself in not so meet cute with Willa. Hopeful that he doesn't cross her path again; the world works in mysterious ways and not always in your favor.

Author's Note: I was too excited for you to meet Willa officially, and want you to love her as much as I do! The official posting schedule for Sparrow of The Dawn will be on Sundays. Things are only beginning for these two and boy does it get GOOOD. 💜

You’re So Vain - Carly Simon “You’re so vain You probably think this song is about you”

Honestly speaking, I don’t even know why I’m here. Dating is not something that is hugely important to me. I like my independence too much and really there is nothing a man can do for me that I can’t already do for myself. I said what I said. But Katie swore up and down that this guy, Jeff, was a good guy, and I needed to get out of the house. Or, at least, I thought I wanted to get out of the house until this morning. 

My roommate Quinn has been going through a terrible, messy breakup with a complete ASS of a man. It’s their first break-up I’m going through with them; even though we met in college a few years ago, they’ve never really dated much. In my attempt to cheer them up, though they don’t seem like they really need it, I went to the farmers market to grab them some flowers and ran into another complete ASS of a man. It has left me feeling a bit hopeless regarding the male species. 

So anyway, here I am.. At a bar.. On a first date. He clearly put a lot of effort into this. He didn’t bother to get out of the car when he came to pick me up, didn’t open the front door when we got here, and he’s wearing a Celtics jersey over a white t-shirt and Timberlands. Not exactly my type, but I'm trying hard not to let my shitty day sour my mood and attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt. I, however, wore a short black sleeveless dress with a high neck, a black leather blazer jacket, tights, and ankle boots because I was trying to impress him. Like I said, the difference in effort is astounding.

After getting our IDs checked by the tall, curly-headed bouncer, we settle into a booth toward the back, looking over the paper menu at the drink specials. I’m surprised there isn’t a QR code menu here. I heard the owner of this place was fairly young, and most places nowadays use QR codes over regular menus.

“What are you going to get?” I ask Jeff, trying to make conversation. He’s busy looking at his phone instead.

“Huh?” not even bothering to look up at me, “Oh, uhm, I’ll probably just get a bud light or something.”

Riiiiight, okay. I really should have stayed home. I let out a huff of air, resting my chin against my hand. Bored with lack of conversation and an underwhelming date, I take to people-watching. There’s so much life in this bar tonight, such a stark contrast to the man sitting across from me. People in their costumes, brightly colored wigs, all adorning smiles and laughing loudly. The red hue from the neon lights and colorful display of the jukebox only added to the atmosphere. Carly Simon sings to me through the speakers. I close my eyes, listening to her words, I always loved this song. I wonder if he’d even notice if I left and weaseled my way into one of these stranger’s tables instead. No, probably not. 

“So, do you want a beer or something?” Jeff asks plainly. 

“Yeah, I’ll just have one of whatever you’re having.” I don’t even like beer that much. I’m more of a rum kind of gal. Something tells me he wants to be here as much as I do and doesn’t actually care what I’d like to drink.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” I give him a small smile as he gets up and heads toward the bar to place our order. At least he’s starting a tab for us; I can count that as a win. 

My eyes scan the bar once more, searching for a form of entertainment, when I spot him behind the bar, standing next to a shorter man with a mustache who looks eerily similar to him. The guy from the flower truck. They’re both staring at me, but only one of them has the decency to look away when I make eye contact, and it's not the flower guy. What the ever-loving fuck is he doing here? Does he work here? There’s no way he’s the owner. No way. Right? I avert my gaze as Jeff returns with two bottles of Bud Light, sliding me one across the table. I internally sigh, knowing this date is going to drag. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Maybe if I squint, my ears will start to focus and listen to what Jeff is actually saying. I have no idea what he’s been going on about, but I swear it’s been  half an hour, and I’ve retained nothing. Is he talking about sports? His job? A hobby? 

“I think they’ll probably end up making a trade,” he says, his phone still in his hand.

Literally no fucking idea. It's not like he’s taken any interest in me or made any attempt to make this conversation anything other than one-sided. I opt to search for him again, curiosity taking its hold on my eyes. 

“You guys all set?” Flower truck guy says, right behind me. It startles me so bad I jump a little, causing me to knock over my half-drunk beer. 

“Shit,” I say, standing up and trying to find some napkins, “I’m so sorry.” God, can this night get any worse?

“Oh fucks sake,” Jeff says just as it spills onto his lap. “Are you kidding me?” All he does is glare at me with his hands up, helpless. Yes. Yes, it can get worse, apparently.

Flower truck guy sets down the towel previously stored in his back pocket and starts to wipe up my mess. Great, I’ve spilled my drink on my date, and as boring as he is, I still wanted to make a good impression, and the guy who took all the irises I wanted to get for Quinn is now cleaning up my mess. I can’t believe how much of a disaster this is right now. 

“Katie didn’t say you were so fucking clumsy,” his annoyed tone is like knives against my brain. 

“It was an accident, Jeff,” I say, throwing him back some attitude. 

He takes the towel right from Flower Boy's hand and starts to try to clean himself up. In realizing it's a bit too wet from mopping up the table he tosses it back to him. 

“God, girls,” he rolls his eyes and elbows Flower Boy, “amiright?”

“Yeahhh, don’t bring me into that commentary, champ.” Flower boy raises his eyebrows. Jeff scoffs at him and turns, heading toward, what I can assume is the bathroom. 

I sit back down in my chair and rest my head in my hands. “Good god,” I say aloud, mostly to myself. I can count on two hands how many times I’ve thought about the fact that I should have stayed home. Next time, I’ll trust my gut. It’s damn near never led me astray. 

“What a winner you got there, dagger fingers.” 

I lift my head then and glare at him for the second time that day. Dagger fingers? I don’t care how unsuccessful my date is going or how much of a douchebag he just was. I will not let this man get the better of me again. I take a deep breath in through my nose, trying to calm down.

“Would you be happy if you just got a drink spilled on you? No, I don’t suppose you would be.” I try to lay the snark on thick. 

He looks around confused, “Last time I checked..Yeah,” he shakes his head up and down aggressively, “Yeah, I do work in a bar. Do you have any idea how often that occurs?” It's my turn to scoff. “You really shouldn’t defend that guy. He’s a dick. He brings all his dates here. He was literally here two days ago with a different girl. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” He reaches for the discarded towel and walks off. 

Oh, this guy. The fucking audacity of this guy. Who the hell does he think he is? I immediately grab my pocketbook and jacket and stalk after him, following his footsteps all the way to the counter where he’s handing the shorter guy from earlier the tray and towel he had been holding. 

“Do you know what your fucking problem is?” I huff out, jabbing him in the chest with my finger. You call my fingers daggers, and I’ll use them as such. I set my purse on the counter to my right and slip on my jacket. 

Mustache man lets out a loud laugh, “Oh sweetheart, you don’t even know the half of it.”

“Uhm.. Ow?” he says, rubbing at his shoulder. “And you, shut up. I wanna know exactly what my problem is. This should be good.” He crosses his arms against his chest. Waiting. In my flurry of anger, I hadn’t exactly worked out what his problem actually is. Just that he seems fucking arrogant and has been a thorn in my side one too many times today. “She doesn’t even know me. She’s just accosted me, twice in one day, in fact, and is now making assumptions based on nothing. Thanks for that, by the way, I don’t know how I got to be so lucky.” he finishes. 

I can see the surprised look on Jake’s face in my periphery. “Aww,” I place my hand on my chest, “cute of you to talk about me already. I’ll tell you, I am a bit surprised, though, considering you think you’re the only person to walk the planet. It’s like the whole world revolves around you. Flower Boy’s world, and we're all just livin’ in it." I emphasize my sentiment with a dramatic roll of my eyes. 

Another howl of laughter escapes the peanut gallery to my right. Flower Boy rubs his fingers across his chin, eyes narrowing on me. “Yeah, I’m clearly the problem here. But it’s not my date that’s sneaking out the front door and leaving me with the bill, now is it, Babydoll ?” He raises his eyebrows toward the entrance. As I follow his line of sight toward the door, I just make out the back of Jeff’s head as it closes behind him. Wonderful. I turn back around, and my eyes land on the smirk resting on his lips. If he wasn’t so cocky in this moment, I might appreciate that smirk. The thought alone only serves to fuel my anger.

“Hey,” Jake says, tapping the bar rapidly to get our attention, effectively drawing my gaze away from his lips, “Listen, I would love to listen to you humble Sammy boy here. But you’re slowly entertaining the entire bar. Either talk it out quietly or go get some fresh air… Please.” 

I pause to glance around at the eyes trained on us. A wave of embarrassment washes over me. Taking that opportunity to dig through my bag, I pull out a twenty-dollar bill and slam it onto the counter, looking Sammy Boy directly in the eyes. “Thanks for the amazing hospitality, Jake. I’ll make sure to give you a 5-star review. You deserve it, dealing with this schmuck.” 

As I exit, I pull out my phone and step to the side, trying to order myself an Uber now that I’ve been abandoned. I swear to god, Katie is never going to hear the end of this when I see her next. I tap through the app and hit another extraordinary stroke of luck today. There are no drivers available. The heavy creek of the front door opens, and Flower Noy.. Sammy pops his head out. There is nowhere for me to hide, fuck.

As he approaches me, he has his hands up in mock surrender. “Look, why don’t you just have a seat at the bar? We’ll get a replacement drink.. On the house, you can just hang out for a bit.” He then reaches into his back pocket and pulls out my twenty from earlier and hands it to me. I snatch it from him with a bit more force than I intend. Why is he being nice to me now? And why is it so irritating? 

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I swipe the notification. A driver has picked up my ride, oh thank god. 

“I’d rather rot in hell, actually.” I regret the words as soon as they're out of my mouth. I regret them even more when I dare to look him in the face. I may not like him, but it's not his fault my date was an asshole. He’s just the unfortunate person to continually be on the receiving end of.. Well me. I can feel the will to stay angry start to dissipate as the guilt takes over; I’m more tired and ready for this day to be over than anything right now. 

Sammy just sighs loudly, mumbling under his breath, “Not sure why I even bother,” before disappearing back inside. Ugh. 

When the Uber arrives, I slide my phone back into my purse and hop into the back seat. Thankfully, my driver is a man of few words, in lieu of conversation, I instead let the words of ‘Crimson and Clover’ dance around my ears. 

“When she comes walking over

Now I've been waitin' to show her

Crimson and clover”

I lean my head back against the headrest, my emotions hitting a breaking point. I really can’t remember the last time I suffered such a series of unfortunate events. Finally boiling over, a single tear spills from my eye. Wiping it away quickly, I shake my head. You do not cry. I tell myself. You do not cry.

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I shut the front door to my apartment and lean against it. The highest, feral scream escapes my mouth, and I slink down, sitting on my heels. I hear Quinn’s footsteps and a quick shut of their bedroom door before I see them round the corner. The heavy thuds running to my aid. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, are you okay?” They say exasperatedly, hanging on to their bedroom doorway. “You’d have thought you were being murdered with a scream like that.”

“If I lay down on the floor, can you just drop something heavy on my skull and put me out of my misery?” I look over to them, displeasure written all over my face. They make their way into the living room sitting on the couch and propping their feet up on the coffee table.

“I take it the date didn’t go well?” My only response is a glare. “Do we need a therapy session then?”

“How much time do you have?” I frown. 

They take their phone out of their back pocket, tapping a few times. “Yeah, my schedule is clear tonight.” Sending me a small smile. 

“I just.. Urrrrrgh,” I stand in a huff, shrugging off my jacket and discarding it next to my purse on the floor. “I definitely should have never left the house today. Period. At all. For anything.” I whine. Taking a moment to unzip my boots and kick them off, adding to my pile, and finally sliding my feet into my comfy slippers.

“Firstly, there was that whole guy and the flowers I told you about this morning, right?” The sounds of my slippers scuff against the hardwood floor as I pace back and forth. “Then that date Katie set me up on, Jeff? Boring as hell. I mean, he immediately gave me ehh vibes when he couldn’t be bothered to come meet me at the door, but.. Whatever. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.” I dramatically wave my arms around. “Because I’m trying to be nice and not close myself off. We get to the bar, he can’t be bothered to look up from his fucking phone at all. Then, guess who I see there? AT the bar?” 

“.. who?” Quinn inquires

“The fricken GUY from the flower truck! The world is too small, I swear to GOD. ANYWAY.” I run my hands down my face. “So Jeff finally decides he wants to speak actual words to me. Does he ask me any questions about myself? NO, he just rants about I dont know, only god knows what because I couldn’t fucking tell you. Flower guy sneaks up behind me to check on our table because I guess he works there or something, and he scares the SHIT out of me, and I spill my drink.. Where? ALL over Jeff's lap. It was sooooo cute.” I drop my arms to my sides, and my hands smack against my thighs. The sound reverberates through the open room. When I look back at Quinn, they’re staring at their bedroom door. Weird but okay.

“I’ve pretty much prayed to the cosmic universe to swallow me up at this point in the evening but then what happens? Arrogant Flower Boy decides to sass me about my date, so I yelled at him. His brother behind the bar was cackling, listening to the whole thing, and then he basically kicked me out. Well.. he told us to shut up or fight outside essentially. And then flower boy.. I don’t know, tried to make amends or something and offered me a drink on the house, and I kinda told him to eat shit...” I push my lips out and give Quinn an innocent side eye, ready for them to read me for filth. “.. and poked him.. Again.” I add, finally. One could say I didn’t handle the course of events correctly today. One could even say that I was a tad bit more rude than necessary. One could say that, not me but… ya know, one could. 

“So,” They pause, “how cute is Flower Boy?”

“I mean, he’s got a really great smile. Even if he only uses his mouth to talk shit – Hey. Wait.” I hold up my pointer finger. “Out of everything I've said to you, that's where you ended up?”

“I mean, I’m not going to say you spent more time talking about him than your date.. But you spent more time talking about him than your date, Wills.” they glance down at their phone. 

I cannot help but defend myself. “That’s because he is single handedly the most annoying person I have come across in the last like.. Month.”

A ding comes from their bedroom, and I look towards their door with my eyebrows raised. If their phone is in their hand..

They clear their throat, “Sure, so did you want solutions, or did you need to yell?” They rush out, “Because if it’s solutions, we have a bat in the closet, and I have some knitting needles in my room. Bricks out front by the porch, whatever you need.” They let out a chuckle. 

Putting a finger to my chin, feigning deep thought, I reply, “That’s not a half-bad idea, Quinny, you may need to put that on the back burner. I do feel a bit better now that I’ve word-vomited some of that out. Thank God I never have to see him again, though.”

“Happy to be obliged, madam. You know I'm always here for whatever you need. Venting or violence, I’ll be there,” They stand and take a bow. “However, I do think you’d feel a lot better with a pamper session. Ya know, face washed, mask applied, those weird little eye patches you put on.” Shooing me a little bit and heading toward their bedroom. 

I curtsey in return, “You’re right, thank you, my liege. If you’ll excuse me, I shall retire to my bedchambers for the evening. Because this bitch is tired.”

“Goodnight, Winslow,” they call back to me from their bedroom doorway. 

“Goodnight, Quinndolyn Christie.” I giggle.

“That is Ser Quinndolyn Christie to you.”

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I run a makeup remover wipe over my face, taking off my makeup from my failed date. Finding the smallest bit of solace in my nighttime routine and ‘me’ time, Quinn suggested. And you know, they were right. I do feel a bit better wiping off my makeup. I splash some water on my face, creating a slick base for my cleanser. As it foams on my face, I think back to my evening. Honestly, what a mess. 

I hear Quinn giggle and shuffling. That’s weird?

Then I hear a loud thud. 

I turn and feel around for the door handle, eyes closed so I don’t get my face wash in them. That would hurt like a bitch. 

“Hey Quinn, you okay?” I call out. 

“Huh? What?”

“I heard a noise.” trying not to get too many of the water droplets falling off my elbows on to the floor below me. 

“It was just the knitting needles I was talking about earlier. Was just prepping them for battle. Make sure they were at the ready.” They giggle again. 

“It sounded a bit heavier than a knitting needle.” 

“Are you sure you’re not hearing things? You should get your ears checked.”

“Okay keep your secrets then.” feeling my way blindly back to my bathroom to wash off my face. 

As I apply my various serums and moisturizers, my thoughts find their way back to Sam. Sam. No. Not gunna go there. 

I start whispering to myself, “I bet he doesn’t even need to do all this stuff. Stupid, perfect skin on his stupid, perfect face. Probably only uses bar soap. And it’s probably the same bar of soap he uses to wash his ASS.” Yes, that’s it, talking out loud to yourself is completely normal, Willa. Please keep going. I groan internally. “Ridiculous freckles on his ridiculous cheeks bet he’s never heard of SPF specifically for the face. What he should be doing is investing in an exfoliant for his stupidly perfect but chapped lips.”

Woah, now, Willa. What the fuck?? No. Go to bed.

I stare at myself in a mirror for a long minute before I rush to turn off the light and jump into bed. I settle in and wait for the soft plush of my blankets to lull me to sleep. 

When I wake up, I look over at my clock. It’s 3:15 a.m., and my first thought is Sam.

Fuck.

&lt;- Chapter One Chapter Three ->

Masterpost | Taglist

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[dejwrld]

✿༉ ⸻ twisted lies by ana huang (review)

genre: romance, billionaire romance published date: 09/27/2022 pages: 560 format: paperback

start date: 01/01/24 end date: 01/15/24

rating: ★★★★

spoilers below cut.

I started this book last year and then dnf'd because I entered a major reading slump. With the new year, I decided to pick up this book and start rereading it from the beginning. I surely underestimated Ana as an author because I enjoyed this book. I enjoyed the building of Stella and Christian's relationship. It made me feel so warm inside. Granted, some 'touch her and you'll die' type of male characters make me internally cringe sometimes. Christian motherf*cking Harper was written so well with that character trope.

Now on to the criticism.

I must note first, that this is the first book I have read in the Twisted series. I know, it's insane to read the very last book of a series because you practically have spoiled the three previous books. But that's beside the point. One criticism of the book is that I feel like within all the guys (except for Josh) they seem to have the same personality. Frankly, every scene where the guys interacted with each other wasn't as interesting as the girls' scenes because I felt a sense that it was just the same guy talking to each other. How is it that when you read scenes where all the Twisted girls are interacting with each other, each girl you can point out their personality and how different they are compared to each other? However, with the guys…just by reading this one book, I can't do the same with the guys. My opinion may change when if I read the other books, but I will be strangely disappointed if my viewpoint stands correct.

The traitor reveal was super obvious. It's always the right-hand man. I kinda suspected it to be Brock or Kage as soon as the traitor plot was brought up.

The stalker reveal was underwhelming for me. The build-up and the fear that Stella has been through and then when her stalker is revealed, I kinda just said 'oh'. But it wasn't a shocked 'oh', it was more so, an 'oh okay' and just kept reading. I think it would been more suspenseful and gut-wrenching if the stalker wasn't just someone Stella had forgotten about from college. If it was someone she'd known longer than her getting the feature piece written about her. Someone she worked with at the job she got fired with? A male nurse at the retirement home Maura resided in? Julian being the stalker did not build the suspenseful feeling in my gut the way I wanted it to be.

Anyway, other than those two things—I truly enjoyed this being my first read of the new year. I'm still on the fence about if I want to get the other books if I'm going to be honest with myself. But Ana Huang, you did your big one with Twisted Lies.

Reading Journal Entry.

[fields-of-lilies-are-pretty]

yo, losers, whats up?

yup, thats right. im back. kinda.

so, im back in school. my boyfriend, obviously, isnt around for me to talk to after school, which means i have a bit more time to talk and interact and hang out.

but just a bit.

you see, im a senior now. ive got quite a bit on my plate, despite only having three academic classes. those classes, along with two top-tier choir classes, a technical theater class, and the now increasingly urgent and stressful search for work and colleges, are going to take up quite a bit of my time.

so.

ive devised a fix for that. i want to come back into taocc. but only slightly. i dont want to be overwhelmed by it, but i still want it to be a part of my life. so, ive decided to come back one character blog at a time.

thats right. one character blog at a time.

and im starting with sophronius and acacius. they have the smallest number of outside relationships with other characters, which means itll be the least overwhelming for me. they also have little to no connections with my other characters, which also makes it easier to keep them separate.

and now, the big ask: please dont try and talk to my other characters now that im back. please. i would appreciate not having to delete asks if i can avoid it. doing that makes me feel guilty and i really would like to not feel that way.

if, in a few weeks, i feel like this system is becoming underwhelming, i will add another character into the mix. however, the moment i feel overwhelmed, i will pull a character out. if that ends up meaning that i pull all of my blogs out again, then so be it.

and i think thats it. ill need some catching up, so if one of you could dm me with some quick updates on the things ive missed in the past two or so months, thatd be great! thank you for being patient and waiting for my return!