#Honestly it could just be A Mood Swing Issue

[nanatsuyu]

Rereading a WIP of mine and remembered that I can be funny in distinctly not funny scenarios. The problem part is, I'm trying to write something else that's relatively light-hearted and I cannot for the life of me get it to swap to funny rather than amusing but somewhat melancholic. Which Usually means I have to start from the top. And do you wanna know what I just do not want to do

[yearning-for-autumn]

Eris NSFW Alphabet

A/N: Ok, this is very self-indulgent...leave in the comments who you would like next! Also any other headcanons you have for Eris. I literally live for comments.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Eris loves aftercare because A. deep down he’s an exhausted mother hen and B. he’s touch starved. Basically it’s more for him than it is for you. Just let him fuss over you and he’ll be happy. After a particularly intense session, he has a deep need to know you are ok, that you feel safe and cared for. He can’t bear the thought of you not feeling like the princess you are, and if you ever experience subdrop he would absolutely panic and be very much not chill about it.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Eris is fond of his hands, he has long fingers (wink wink). He likes to compare his hands with yours to see the size difference. 

On you, Eris is a tits guy through and through. He’s never really grown out of the teenage obsession, and thinks any and all boobs are great. Small boobs, perfect to hold. Big boobs, perfect to fuck. All boobs are good to suck on. I’m not going to say anything about Mummy issues but I’m sure you can catch my drift. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

On the subject of tits, Eris loves to cum on them. There’s something about claiming you with his seed that gets him worked up. Whenever he cums anywhere on your body you know you’re about to go for round two, he can’t help it. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Eris has this fantasy of dressing you up in a collar and having you act like his little pet all day. He keeps this under wraps and probably always will unless you’re down to clown. But there’s something that gets him so worked up about the thought of having you down on all fours, a collar with a tag that says his name on it, lapping at his thighs for a taste of his cock whilst he coos, talking about how sweet you are, what a cute puppy…yeah…

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I think Eris is probably quite experienced. He had an adventurous youth, behind his fathers back of course, and he definitely knows how to fuck you right. When he’s finally free of his father though, and is able to have a proper relationship with someone he loves, I can imagine him getting nervous that he’s not experienced enough with anything long term, but this is his inner critic talking, I don’t think you would be complaining.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Eris wants you on your knees, whether that’s all-fours, on the floor, riding him, etc. He’s a big big fan of reverse cowgirl because he can watch his cock driving into you in exquisite detail, and he can pull out and paint the small of your back with his cum so easily. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Eris isn’t really a goofy guy, his humour is more dry and sarcastic which doesn’t translate great to sex. He tends to be pretty serious, and the only humour involved is one sided, with him amusing himself, degrading and teasing you (but let’s be honest, you love it).

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet matches the drapes, 100 percent. He has a happy trail down his perfect v-line and keeps things well-groomed, he’s a male that values his appearance. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Eris doesn’t really go in for romance, he swings one of two ways, hard dom or super soft dom. Depending on his (and your) mood, he can be an arrogant, degrading ass, or sweet and gentle yet teasing. He’s very good at reading your mood and always knows exactly how to play things, this man is an expert in body language. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Eris prefers if you’re the one getting him off, honestly he would ask for a handjob everyday if he could (he probably does). But if either of you are away, he’s not exactly going to not masturbate to the memories of you, cock drunk and drooling as he fists your hair and takes you in his chair right in front of the window so all of Autumn can see. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

DDLG - When you’re both in a certain mood, I think Eris likes to baby you a lot. He wants to look after you, in the small things as well as during sex. He loves it when you act all shy and innocent, it only makes him want you more.

Innocence - More on that topic, I feel like Eris has a bit of a virginity kink. He would definitely want to be the one to take your virginity if possible, and if not don’t worry because he’s down to role-play. 

Pet-play - Eris wants to own you. He wants a collar around your neck, and he wants you to obey his every command. He also thinks you look absolutely adorable with little puppy ears clipped into your hair, it makes him want to absolutely ruin you. Call him Master, better yet call him your King.

This is going to come up later as well, but I don’t think Eris would want to switch with anyone other than someone he was extremely comfortable with, so before you he would have never tried it. That being said, he does have a bit of a Mummy kink (yes im british sorry) and I think he would be down to explore this, but he’s definitely more comfortable in the dominant role. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Eris is a bit of a fan of public sex but only when you are involved. He doesn’t really want to put himself in a compromising position, but he’s more than happy to show you off. More than anything he wants people to see your submission to him, not necessarily sexual, but imagine sitting next to him in a meeting and all of a sudden you’re pulled onto his lap so that he can kiss your neck whilst listening to some boring courtier.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. You get him going. Because he’s horny. No but he’s sooo turned on if you sink to your knees, bat your eyelashes, ask him if you can make him feel good. He’s so going to cum all over your face. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Eris likes to degrade you, but if he ever gets comfortable enough to sub for you he can and will cry if you try it. Don’t degrade him. His self-esteem is on the ground as it is, there’s no need for that. 

He also doesn’t really want to do anything involving feet, I just have a silly headcanon that he really dislikes them. Like it’s bordering on a phobia for him. He hates seeing them. Who knows why, I definitely don’t and I just made it up. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man can make shoving his cock in your mouth feel like he’s the one giving you a treat. Like is it really giving, no, but do you appreciate it, yes.

He is an all-star pussy eater though, he’ll probably eat you out quickly and efficiently as part of foreplay most days to make sure you are thoroughly soaked and open for him. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Eris fucks rough. Let’s be real. He fucks with fire in his veins, I doubt that means slow and romantic. On your anniversary though, he’s going to light candles, and he’s going to drive you absolutely out of your mind, fucking you slow and hard, whispering praise and cruel teasing as he fucks you into the bed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Eris loves a quickie honestly. Oh, he’s got a meeting at 10? Time for a quick fuck. Oh you’re late for work? But you have 15 minutes for a blowjob right? 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is down to experiment, I mean he’s quite kinky really and has experimented in the past, but he’ll be a bit nervous to scare you off or go too far when you’re early in your relationship. He has some trust issues he’s working through, but he really does want to try everything with you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Mmm Eris lasts a long time, and he wants to go multiple rounds. He just has so many positions he wants you in that he can’t just choose one, he has to try a few out right?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eris love love loves to dress you up, i’m talking collar, garters, lingerie. He’s very much into toys, for both of you, and thinks anything that enhances your pleasure is worth it. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a tease, he’s a degrading tease. ‘Aw baby you like that? Stupid slut, drooling around my cock, does my pretty baby want more? Hm? Well you’re not getting it.’ 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I think at first he would stick to dirty talk, and try not to moan too loudly. But after you express your interest he lets go completely. He’s feral, he’s loud and he doesn’t stop talking. You could probably cum from just his words to be honest, he has a filthy mouth. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I think the first time you ever try pegging Eris he cums literally immediately. He won’t let you bring it up ever, and he’s insanely embarrassed by it, but deep down he knows you only care about making him feel good and would never tease him in bad faith. It takes him a little while to try it again though, because our poor baby is repressed. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Eris has such a pretty cock. It curves upwards in just the right way, it’s the prettiest shade of pink at the tip and blushes deep red when he’s needy and desperate. He’s longer than he is thick, and it hits all the right spots.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eris is a horny horny boy, but he’s quite good at hiding it. He tries his best not to overwhelm you with how much he wants you, but realistically you want him just as much, I mean how could you not.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Eris physically cannot fall asleep until you are asleep. He will fuss over you for as long as it takes, and no matter how much his eyes are drooping shut, he needs to know you are tucked up and comfy first.

[xmasterofmunsonx]

Got Your Number

Summary: You’re Steve Harrington’s older sister and after a rough and tumultuous breakup, you’re back in Hawkins, Indiana. 🌶️

Pairing: Harrington!reader x Eddie Munson

Author’s notes: hi hello!!! long time no update. been sitting on the first half of this for months and wrote the second half over the last two days. I love this story and honestly at this point I’m writing it for myself and everyone else enjoying it is just a plus. If you’re still hanging in there with me, thanks 🩷

Warnings: 18+ (Minors DNI!!), language, drinking, weed, mentions of past abusive relationship, body image issues, shitty parent relationship, smut

Word count: 8K

VII.

Two weeks had gone by in a flash while working full time at your dads office. It really wasn’t all that bad, and everyone that worked there had either known you your whole life, or they knew your dad well enough to not give you a hard time- whether it’s because they figured he gave you a hard enough time anyway, or they were afraid of him, you weren’t too sure.

Eddie and the guys seemed to have moved on from the record deal and decided to not sign it, and you were thankful because you were afraid they’d be making a huge mistake in doing so, but you didn’t miss the lack of spark that your boyfriend had shown the last two weeks- he’d canceled Hellfire one night, and was threatening to cancel it now at 4 pm, a few hours before it was supposed to start.

“C’mon, what else are you going to do?” You asked him, the work phone between your shoulder and ear as you were busy with some paperwork.

“Practice, and maybe practice some more. We’re having a really hard time nailing down Maiden’s ‘Wasted Years’ for our show.” You heard him sigh, and tapping his fingers on something at his work through the other end of the phone line.

“Babe, the song just came out a little while ago. I don’t think anyone expects perfection, and you don’t have to play it until you’re ready to.”

He was quiet for a moment before speaking, “I just can’t stop thinking about what if another scout is out there at the next show and we don’t blow them away? We could’ve just missed our chance to make it big.”

“Eddie, you didn’t. I promise.” You twirled the phone cord, “Steve said Dustin is driving him insane because he’s been bugging him since all you’ve been doing is practicing with the band or seeing me- you need to spend some time with them.”

“I don’t need the guilt from you too.” He said quickly.

“I’m not guilting you- I’m just trying to help you keep things normal as you… your brain adjusts to the meds.” Eddie had taken the doctors orders and actually complied with taking the medication he needed for two weeks straight. The first week was the worst- the mood swings were a little more unpredictable, and the anxiety was heightened but you could tell he was starting to level out a little now by the end of the second week. He was even getting better sleep already, and he hadn’t woken up from a nightmare since the third night.

“I’m doing better already. Do you want me to take you on a date or something instead?”

“Eddie, why don’t you want to have Hellfire tonight? You do every single Friday night.”

“I just… I don’t wanna feel different for that. I don’t wanna lose my spunk with it.”

“Do you really feel like you’ve lost it in other ways?” This was the first he’d mentioned any of this, and you really wish you weren’t having this conversation over the phone, but you knew it was probably easier for him to tell you these things without being face to face.

“I mean, kinda, I can’t get the riffs right on that goddamn song to save my life.”

You laughed, “Eddie. That song is a completely different sound from almost any other Maiden song, I heard you playing it the other morning before I walked out of your bedroom. You’ve got it. If anything, I think you’re focusing and you’re trying harder than you ever have before. Plus, this is Hellfire we’re talking about here- you are the most dramatic person I know, including right now, you could never lose your flair for dramatics. Do you want me to DM tonight, or something? I can pull out one of my old campaigns if you haven’t already stolen them all.”

“Would you?” He sounded sheepish as he asked the question.

“I may need some assistance in refreshing on actually how to properly be a dungeon master but I think I can swing that for once. If everyone’s okay with it.” You scribbled down some ideas you’d had as you listened to Eddie go on about how the guys usually played out the campaigns and you knew exactly which one you wanted to try out on them tonight.

-

“Never thought a Harrington would grace the table of Hellfire Club. Welcome.” Dustin spoke to you as you sipped on a glass of whiskey over ice.

“Henderson, who do you think Eddie got some of those twisted campaign ideas from? His little pea brain?” Gareth quipped at Dustin immediately.

“Hey!” Eddie said from the corner of the room, as you blew a kiss at him.

“I told you, we started Hellfire together back in middle school. Were you even born then?”

“What?! I’m not that young.” He shrugged.

You rolled your eyes, “Good luck. You’re gonna need it.”

“She’s not joking.” Gareth nudged Dustin- who’d looked all too confident when he learned you’d be the dungeon master tonight. “I almost cried once.”

You had to turn away to keep from laughing and avoid spitting out the alcohol in your mouth. You were feeling warmed up, but nervous as you waited for everyone to get to Eddie’s music store where he hosted the games in the back room. You loved the cozy feeling of it versus using a room at your school that you had to beg and plead for, and Eddie had told you it had been a fight to keep it going during high school without you being in the club to be the representative for it. He claimed they would’ve let you have any room in the schpracticeool if you asked for it, while they were begrudgingly given the drama room and even then sometimes they had to move a campaign night because of play practice running over. The back room was decked out with band posters, show flyers- new and old, and some odds and ends mounted on the wall.

“Ready, my love?” Your heart swooned at Eddie who’d also been sipping whiskey all night, his ringed hand was clutching a glass similar to yours, except his was a little more empty than yours. You loved how into character he always got, and you felt butterflies as he wrapped his other arm around your waist and kissed your temple. “Thanks for being willing to step up tonight.”

“I can’t say that it’ll happen often, but you owe me big time, Munson.” You locked eyes with his crazy wide brown ones.

“Oh believe me, I know how I’m paying you back tonight.”

“Then you better stop drinking now before you get whiskey dick, babe.” You whispered in his ear, and kissed his earlobe, your teeth lightly biting it- thankful his curtain of hair could hide your actions. Okay, maybe you were two glasses of whiskey deep now. But you didn’t have the energy you used to and you needed everything you could to pull tonight off.

Everyone had taken a seat at the table, Eddie had lent you his seat at the head of the table, and he scooted a chair up beside yours to help you if you needed it. You were excited, nervous, but mostly you were just happy that Eddie had decided to not cancel tonight. You could tell that he was really in his element here, and this normalcy was what he really needed.

“Alright everyone. Get nice and cozy, because we’re gonna be here all night long.” You sat down and rifled through your notes, smiling at a few of the add ons Eddie had scribbled down, god only knows when, as you started the campaign. You took a sip of your half refilled glass, then cleared your throat and started speaking. “Tonight, we’re in the kingdom of Evercrest.” You heard Gareth groan across the table and you shot him a look, he knew that you had many campaigns written for this kingdom. You remember that some of these used to take two or three sessions to finish, but they were some of your best work, honestly.

“Never heard of that one.” Mike quipped as he crunched on a Pringle.

“Shush.” Eddie snapped beside you, and you held back some giggles.

“Tonight we’ll be playing the Shadows of Evercrest. One of the darkest and most mysterious kingdoms of all- it’s a kingdom on the brink of being completely engulfed by darkness brought on by dark magic and ancient curses. Most recently, there have been many disappearances in the kingdom. Each disappearance has brought the kingdom closer and closer to being overthrown.”

Everyone was dead silent as they looked at you in shock as you felt yourself returning back to your old ways of being a dungeon master. You had the entire attention of the whole table, and you started to get sweaty hands. Eddie placed a gentle hand on your leg and squeezed it, you looked at him- his eyes were full of admiration as he encouraged you to continue on.

An hour into gameplay, you had another drink and you were feeling bold enough to reveal the first twist of the night.

“Elara’s influence in the kingdom is growing stronger, but how? When you’ve all been so successful so far.” You sipped and placed your glass down to your left. “There is a traitor among the allies.” Gasps were heard from all around.

“No! Absolutely not!” Dustin exclaimed, slamming his fist down, “that’s-”

“That’s how it goes, my friend. Elara has enchanted an ally, with her dark magic.” You waved your hand over them as if you were a witch yourself, pretending to cast a spell over them. “The illness that swept over Evercrest took her sister, and now she has plagued the kingdom with these disappearances seeking revenge in the name of her sister. The ally has been enchanted by her.” You kept on, “Will you confront your former ally and try to redeem them, or will you cut ties and focus on stopping Elara’s plans?” You sat back in the chair and watched as the group was talking amongst themselves and deciding what to do.

“Can we break?” Will asked as he raised his hand, almost afraid of what you were going to say.

“Absolutely.” Eddie answered for you, grabbing your notebook from the table so no one could peek, then clutching your hand and dragging you out the side exit door of the breakroom into the dark alleyway. “You. Have. No. Idea. What. You’re. Doing. To. Me.” He pinned you against the brick wall kissing your neck between words, the coldness was a harsh contrast to the warmth from his mouth. “Fuck, you’re such a goddamn nerd too, driving me crazy when you’re like this.” He nipped at your neck and worked his free hand over your body as you bit back moans.

“Never knew I did this to you, Eddie.” You chuckled as you entwined a hand of yours into his curls, letting him continue to scatter kisses over your exposed neck and chest. “Don’t leave a mark, they’ll know.”

“As if my raging boner isn’t enough of a hint, fuck.” He was out of breath as he pressed his forehead against yours. “That, t-that’s my girl back there. Not that bullshit cheerleader who was a fucking bully in high school.” You kissed him on the lips and he pulled you close by your neck. “I don’t wanna go back in there, ‘wanna take you right here.” His hand slid down to your lower back, then to your ass where he squeezed it and pulled it to meet his groin where he was very obviously hard.

“Eddie, we can’t. I promise as soon as we get back to your place we can, we’ve still got another few hours left.”

He quickly shook his head as he smothered you with more kisses, “can’t wait that long.”

“You’re gonna have to.” You pushed him off of you gently, grabbed the book from him and opened the door, walking back into the room, grabbing water and sitting back down in your chair. The rest of the room were gathered in separate groups, probably discussing game plans, and your absence didn’t seem to have been a problem for anyone to bring up thankfully. A few minutes later, a more calm (and obviously now high) Eddie returned to his seat beside you and winked at you, giving you a sinking feeling in your stomach that felt like butterflies mixed with a bit more of a tornado feeling.

“Alright, everyone ready to keep on?” You interrupted their quiet discussions.

“Question is, can you two kids keep it in your pants till we’re through?” Dustin joked as he sat down.

“Ask her, she’s the one who-” you lightly slapped Eddie on the chest to shut him up.

“Excuse you.” You fussed at him and everyone groaned. “It was all him, I swear.”

They all settled down and got ready, and the next two hours flew by. Finally you were getting to the end, and you were really proud of how everyone had handled your twists and turns to the campaign. You stood up to announce the next twist, “As you’ve now successfully uncovered all of Elara’s tragic past, you’ve all ended your quest at her lair, of all places. Hundreds of undead minions are waiting for you to cross her. Will you turn around now, after all of this? Or will you fight?”

“We’re going to fight.” Dustin answered for the group.

“Your death.” Erica chimed in and you held in a little laugh.

You went to sit back down, only to be met with the lap of your boyfriend instead of the chair, and he wrapped his arms around your waist. No one let out a groan of grossness at this show of affection, so you leaned into it.

The game continued, “Elara summons even more undead creatures to attack you in her lair.” Everyone fought on, played their hardest that they could to defeat Elara, and you could feel Eddie beaming proudly behind you. “In a moment of redemption, Elara hesitates, a flicker of doubt crossing her face as she gazes upon those who have fought so bravely to stop her. In a final act of sacrifice, she uses her remaining power to banish the darkness that has consumed her and restore peace to the kingdom, her spirit finally finding peace as she fades into the shadows. Thanks to all of you heroes for bravely planning along tonight, and saving the kingdom from an eternity of darkness.” You raised your last sip of your glass at everyone as they cheered triumphantly at their win, and you felt Eddie place a sloppy kiss on your cheek. You could feel his hips slowly moving underneath your ass as you wrapped an arm around his shoulder and sat sideways. “Munson, calm down.”

“Can’t, gotta get some relief. I had to use you to hide it.” He pulled you in for a kiss and you heard a few of the younger “kids” groan out their ewws at your sign of affection, to which you both held up your middle fingers as you continued to kiss each other.

“Alright, we’ll meet again next week.” Eddie pulled back from the kiss abruptly, and loudly announced to the group. You furrowed your eyebrows at him, “I forgot to close out a few things for the store tonight because I was too excited about having a guest DM so we’ve gotta stay back and do that anyway. You all can go.” He pushed you off of his lap, quickly, and everyone left the room in groups or pairs, the same ones they arrived in. You were browsing the dark music store that only had a few neon lights and lamps on as everyone seemed to have disappeared.

“Could you have been any more obvious, Munson?” You asked as you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind.

“I reaaaaally don’t give a fuck what they know, or think.” He pushed your hair to the side and started kissing behind your ear and you leaned back into him. His hot breath tickled and you shivered, “I also reaaaaally don’t think I can wait till we get home.” His hand was traveling down your stomach and you felt his fingers playing with the hem of your mini skirt. You didn’t stop him as he danced it up higher on your thighs, your body weight leaning more and more into his chest. Your arms were hanging onto his neck as your skirt was now bunched up at your waist, and he was playing with the waistband of your panties.

“Here? S’dark in here but what if someone sees?”

“Don’t give a damn baby, it’s my store, my rules. Now bend over.” He smirked into your neck and pulled your ass against his hard dick, you could feel how thick he was through his jeans already. One of his hands was pulling your lace panties to the side, while his other was skillfully undoing his belt buckle. “You wore these tonight, were you expecting something?”

Honestly, you weren’t. You just hadn’t done laundry to have any other of your more normal underwear clean. “No, promise.”

His hand grabbed at your bare ass cheek and he pulled back and slapped it, “anyone could’ve seen these, you know that, right?” You smirked at his possessiveness, it felt different than when your ex had been possessive. You knew Eddie was proud of you, and you also knew how talkative he was when he was this turned on, so you just let him keep going. You nodded to go along and felt his fingers tease your entrance. “Oh fuck, you’re so wet. I’m surprised you didn’t leave a mark on my jeans.” He lazily rubbed his fingers between the lips of your pussy, and you arched your back to beg for more than what he was giving you, pressing your hands into the wooden record display for support.

“Fuck, stop teasing me.” You looked back and saw him smirking, as he unzipped his jeans and let them slide down his thighs. He started lazily stroking up and down his dick, matching the pace of his slow fingers that were touching you earlier.

“You should know all about teasing, shouldn’t you? Grinding your ass on me, leaning over that fucking table tonight so I could just almost see what I wanted. Wanted to shove that skirt up and lick you clean tonight.” He stroked himself quicker and quicker, “You ready for me, babe?” He asked as he teased your entrance with his hard length, and you whimpered as he teased you with an inch or so, then pulled back out. He kept on a few times until you’d had enough and you thrust your hips back to take his whole length, making him grab onto your hips. “Fuck yeah,” Eddie grunted as he fucked into you and steadied your hips. The store was quiet except the low humming of the neon lights, and your quiet, low moans.

He pulled your hair in a makeshift ponytail with his hands and yanked your head up to his. “You drive me crazy, baby, do you know that? Can’t believe you’re mine after all these years.” He was relentless as he pounded into you, a skilled hand snaking around your front and circling your clit to bring you to your height of pleasure.

You felt yourself clenching around him as he kept a steady pace, and you came quickly before he followed suit, and allowing himself to collapse onto you.

“Goddamn, I can’t last more than a few minutes with you ever, can I?” You could feel his cheeks warm against your back as he chuckled and twitched inside.

“It’s fine, really. You’ve made up for it plenty of other times.” He let out a sharp sigh as he pulled out of you, and helped you fix your outfit and then his own. You both were smirking at each other as you wandered around the store.

“Ready to go?” He asked as he swung the keys around his pointer finger.

“I thought you had to- you’re such a bullshitter, Munson.” You realized he’d lied to everyone about needing to do something at the shop to get everyone to leave earlier.

“Maybe so, Harrington, maybe so.” He opened the door for you and you followed out after he finished locking the doors to the music store.

-

“They trust you with this?” You eyed your brother as you helped him scoot the grill out onto the patio around the pool.

“Mom and dad barely use it, so I taught myself how to a while ago.”

“Shocked that you haven’t burned the house down yet.” You muttered to him and he rolled his eyes back in return. It was an oddly warm fall Sunday, so you (Steve) had decided to have everyone over for a pool party, which you were sure would turn into a night party too. Absent parents were a plus sometimes, and you had Monday off of work because your dad had decided to close for the day.

You were both busy setting up the food and drinks in the kitchen when someone rang the doorbell, so you jogged to the front door to let them in.

In a line, all of the “kids” walked in, Dustin being last and giving you a high five as if you were Steve. You could tell they felt comfortable here as they piled in and made themselves comfortable before heading out back.

“We just… let them party?” You asked, coming around the kitchen corner to your brother.

“Nah, maybe a beer or two but they know the rules. I’m still the babysitter a little bit. Where’s Eddie?”

You shrugged, he was supposed to be here early to help you two get ready but he was either early, or late- never on time, but it was unusual that you hadn’t heard from him. “Must be running late.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at you as he sliced tomatoes. “What?” He asked as you eyed him.

“Just, not like him, that’s all.” You watched as he arranged the tomatoes and lettuce on a plate for burgers. “Alright, what do you know? You’ve never been so precise about where toppings for a burger go on a plate. I really don’t see anyone who’s coming even putting a vegetable on their burger.” You crossed your arms and leaned your hip against the counter.

“Nothing.” He moved on to cutting up an onion, and you snatched the knife from his hand.

“Steve.” He said your name back to you in the same sassy tone. “What do you know?”

He sighed, “He didn’t wanna come because it’s a pool party, and he’s nervous about everyone seeing his scars. So he said he was gonna say something came up with the store so he didn’t have to come, then come later tonight.”

You frowned, you felt bad for Eddie because he was so sensitive about his appearance. Everyone knew what they were from, but you guessed that no one had seen him since the wounds had healed, he didn’t strike you as the shirtless guy at a pool type even before, but especially now.

“I’m gonna go call him really quick, can you handle everything for a minute?” You asked Steve as you handed him his knife back, and he seemed to be finishing up any prep work that needed to be done.

The phone line rang three times as you sat on your bed waiting for someone to pick up.

“Hello?” It was Wayne, which took you by surprise.

“Hey uncle Wayne, it’s me. Is Eddie there?”

“Yeah, he’s practicin’ right now. Want me to get him for you?”

“Please.” You chewed on your lip, debating telling him it’s an emergency to hopefully have a better chance at getting him on the phone but you didn’t want to add to any anxiety he already has. You heard multiple footsteps before you heard the phone cord clinking against the plastic phone.

“Hey baby.” He sounded sweet and… oblivious?

“Hey, are you coming over? Steve’s about to get the grill going I think, and I’m kinda worried that he’s going to set something on fire, or give us all food poisoning.”

“I’m uh, I’m gonna come over later. Still practicing some today, and not really feeling like I wanna swim. Wayne’s home too and-”

“Steve told me you’re worried about everyone seeing your scars.” You blurted it out, immediately regretting it.

“I-I… yeah.” He sighed. You couldn’t see him, but you were willing to bet he was running his hand over his face and through his hair right now. “I know everyone’s got them, and they saw me all fucked up but, you know how I am.”

“Eddie, they’re your friends. And you don’t have to even swim, just come hang out with everybody. No ones gonna pressure you to swim.” You paced your room and looked out the back window of your room that overlooked the pool. Robin had arrived and was wearing a button up top, unbuttoned over her swimsuit. Steve was of course shirtless already with his swim trunks on, and all the younger kids were in the pool swimming. Nancy was in a cute striped one piece, and Jonathan had on shorts and a t-shirt. “Not everyone is swimming, and no ones gonna care if you don’t.”

“You really don’t think they’ll care?”

“No, Eddie. Come on over.”

He sighed, “Alright, give me a few minutes and I’ll leave. If I get pushed in, I’m blaming you.”

“Okay, you can fully blame me if someone else pushes you into the pool.” You laughed at him.

“Don’t wanna mess this hair up either, I’m actually having a really good hair day today.”

You giggled again at the thought of his mop of a mane getting wet from the pool, “I’m sure you are, every day is a good hair day for you.”

“Alright, Harrington.” He said, emphasizing the “hair”, “I’ll see you soon.” You hung up and ran down the stairs, and headed straight for the backyard.

“He’s coming but he’s not gonna swim, and please don’t push him in.” You said to your brother as he was crouched down getting the grill going, or at least attempting to.

“Thank god because I have no idea how to start this stupid thing.” He stood up and you were seeing his scars for the first time, too. The one on his face was obviously there and you were used to it, but it was so much smaller. You guys had been night swimming a few times since you had been home, but you hadn’t paid much attention or seen them like you could right now. He had one on the left of his abdomen that still looked pretty gnarly.

“I didn't realize how bad-”

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad, I know. Well, it was. I think just pretending they’re not there is the only way I can act like things are back to normal now.” He spoke softly as he pushed his sunglasses back up on his nose. “Gonna go grab a drink, you want one?”

“Just a water is fine for now.” You said as he walked away, the scars on his back just as pink as the ones on his front. You found Robin settled in on a pool chair and sat at the foot of her chair. She had already found a beer and was watching the kids play a game of chicken. Max and Lucas were very clearly about to win against Mike and Will.

“Your lover not gonna make it?”

“He’s on his way, he was a little hesitant to come over to swim.” You said, and Robin nodded, thankfully understanding what you were meaning without saying anything.

“I think he has the hardest time with it all because he thinks he should’ve died.” She said very bluntly, sitting back in the lounger. Steve walked over and tossed you a water, then returned back to the grill. “Like, he actually did. And the scars are just another reminder- as if any of us need one, and I don’t think he wants to be a burden and make anyone remember it anymore than we already do, you know?” You nodded, realizing again how little you had understood about what everyone had been through while you were gone, despite hearing so much about it all from them. “He had it the worst of us, but you know that. Steve was pretty fucked up too. He waited until Eddie was even somewhat stable before he got himself looked at, they could have patched him up way better but he wouldn’t leave his side.”

“What?”

“Oh yeah. Days. He spent days after we’d all been evaluated, cleaned up, stitches or whatever we needed before he said that he needed any medical attention other than what we could see on his face. Nancy finally told him he smelled like blood and sweat and needed to go before he ended up with an infection. I'm still not convinced he didn’t get rabies from those bats... She had to pry him away from Eddie’s bedside. Steve said he felt responsible for him dying, because Eddie sacrificed himself to save him for you.” She was staring out at the pool still, talking about all of this as if it were some lighthearted conversation, and you were left speechless. “When the doctors got their hands on Steve they couldn’t believe how much pain he was in for that many days and didn’t even flinch because he was so good at hiding it, but when they asked him to lie back on the hospital bed to get looked at, he was crying in pain. It was pitiful.”

You still didn’t know what to say as you fumbled with your water bottle. “I hate that I wasn’t here.”

“No, don’t say that. I mean, I hate that you were where you were, but you didn’t want to be here. In Hawkins, or the upside down.”

“I just wish I could’ve been there for them more. Anyone. You guys are so close and I feel like I’m just invading on this, and adding more to it all.”

“No, you’re good for everyone. You being back has helped Steve, and obviously Eddie too. That idiot is crazy about you. When he woke up and found out what had happened to the town, the first thing he asked about was some book in his trailer that none of us knew what he was talking about until Wayne got there after Steve called him to tell him his vitals were improving drastically.”

“What book was it?” You asked, not sure what he could’ve been talking about.

“We all thought he meant his copy of The Hobbit but he was talking about some dungeons and dragons notebook.” Your heart stopped as Robin rambled on longer, for minutes before you realized you weren’t listening at all.

You two settled into a normal conversation, but you kept thinking about the notebook that Eddie was worried in the back of your head until he arrived, he made a quiet entrance versus his usual display of dramatics. He was dressed in a ripped up, sleeveless Slayer tshirt and a very holey pair of black jeans, and a pair of black converse that you rarely saw him in. His hair was tied back loosely and he had a black bandana around his head too. You stopped mid sentence with Robin as you watched him gravitate towards Steve as if he automatically knew he needed help.

“Man, you’ve got it bad for Munson, don’t you?”

“Shut it, Robin.” You slapped her ankle playfully and she laughed at you.

“Have you guys said the l word yet?”

You looked at him again before looking over to her, “No, it hasn’t been that long yet.” You knew Robin was such a romantic at heart- she thought your story of two best friends torn apart, then reunited as “lovers” was the best plot for a romantic story.

“Hasn’t been that long?! You guys were friends for how long before this? And you both knew you had something for each other this whole time?! Come on!” She threw her hands up in the air. “Just say it and see what he says.”

Except, you knew how Eddie felt about the word. There were some things some people- most people actually, didn’t know about his life before he was living with Wayne full time. The only time he heard the word love and it actually meant something was his mom, and he didn’t hear it but a few times from her. And if his dad ever said it, it was when he was quite literally beating love into him. It was a subject you weren’t really ready to introduce into your relationship yet, and you didn’t want to be the one to push it on him either. You were following the cracks of the concrete around the pool until a pair of unlaced shoes caught your attention.

Eddie squatted down to your level of the pool chair and lifted your chin up with his two fingers before placing the most gentle kiss on your lips. “Hi.” He said, his cheeks rosy, and his eyes were a little bit bloodshot to match.

“Hi.” You giggled back, “You okay?”

“Smoked on the way over here, never been better.”

“I’ll leave you two alone, have at it.” Robin got up, abandoning her chair. Eddie replaced her at the top of the chair and motioned for you to scoot up between his legs. You settled with your back on his chest, as his arms wrapped around your body.

“Glad you decided to come. I missed you.” You said as you traced the faint scars on his forearms that were showing.

“Just saw me last night at the show, Harrington. But thanks for making me come here, I think it’ll be good.”

“I didn’t make you come here,” you defended, “I was just trying to get you out of the house and that head of yours for a bit.”

“I know.” He kissed the side of your head, “and I’m thanking you for it.” You’d half expected him to retort back with some type of a half argument comment like he was actually trying to say that you did force him to come here, but you could tell he genuinely was glad to be there. You snuggled in closer to him.

“I think your meds are working, you normally would have said something a little smarter than that back to me.” You said out loud.

“Yeah, I feel less on edge all the time now. ‘S kinda nice.” He hummed.

“Should you be smoking weed while you’re taking it?” You feel him shrug against you. “Guess we’ll find out.”

“Guess we will.” He said.

“I need to run upstairs and change, keep an eye on Steve to make sure he doesn’t burn anything, please.”

“You sure you don’t need any assistance?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes as you made your way back inside to change into your swimsuit.

The first one you grabbed was an older black one that was a two piece bikini, you were a bit less curvy back in high school but you figured it would still fit. You slipped the bottoms and the top on and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your shape had changed so much, not necessarily for the worse by any matter, but you could hear the comments from your mom or Charlie in your head as you took yourself in from every angle in the mirror.

A soft knock rapped on the door, then it slowly opened and you weren’t one bit surprised to see Eddie there. His jaw was slack as he stuttered out a compliment. “Y-you look great.”

You blushed and tucked your arms in front of your tummy, attempting to hide your few pounds, suddenly feeling ashamed.

“I mean it. You look healthy. I know what you’re thinking. I haven’t forgotten what your mom used to say to you. I haven’t either.” He closed the door quietly behind him, then walked over towards you.

“How come I have to be the one confident about my body, but you get to hide yours?” You asked him as he enveloped you in a warm hug and rubbed your soft back.

“That’s a conversation I’m willing to have another day, sweetheart. You don’t have to swim either.”

“But I want to. All I have are bikinis though.”

“And you look fine in it.” He hugged you tighter, but then his arms dropped, “what’s that?”

“What’s what?” You pulled back to look at him and he was focused on your closet. “Oh, that’s just some old high school crap. C’mon, let’s go down to the pool so they don’t think we’re up to something.”

Eddie shook his head as he made his way over to your closet. He didn’t have to stand on his tiptoes to grab the shoebox from the top shelf of your closet. “I know exactly what this is.” He made himself comfortable on the floor of your room, and opened the lid. The laugh that escaped his lips almost sounded like a bit of a cry as he started to pick through the papers and pictures.

“C’mon, Eddie. I’m not in the mood for reliving the past right now.”

“Oh I am. Look at how cute we were.” He showed you a photo of the two of you, and some of your old friends from middle school. “God, I was such a nerd.”

“Was?” You asked as you sat down beside him and watched him carefully dig through your possessions. You watched as he pulled out each picture, most of them had a tiny hole in the corner from a push pin where they’d been displayed in your room. “Had to take all these down in 9th grade when I had my first sleepover with Grace. I didn’t want her to make fun of me. I don't think I’ve looked at any of them since.”

Your slightly shaky hand started to sift through the box too, finding a picture from your birthday party in 8th grade- the year your parents had the pool put in. Eddie was beside you, his arm loosely around your shoulder, and you were both grinning from ear to ear, everyone else at the party had smiles too, but none as bright as the two of yours. There was a picture stuck to the back of that one, and it was of you blowing out your birthday candles. Eddie was staring- yes, staring at you with nothing but admiration in his eyes. You realized then that Robin really was right about the two of you. Eddie had found a letter that you both would pass back and forth between classes and was smiling behind his hand as he read it, his eyes seemed to be shrink wrapped with tears ready to fall.

“Man, we were fucking clueless, weren’t we?” He said out loud.

You took a deep breath, “clueless to what?”

“Each other. I’m pretty sure I was in love with you back then.” He continued on, not realizing what he’d said.

“Back then?” You asked, picking at the corner of the picture in your hands.

“Yeah, back then. Look at this,” he pointed to a part of the letter and read it aloud to you as you giggled along. You didn’t want to ruin the moment so you went along with him as you continued pulling out old pictures and letters, some DnD notes, and random little trinkets.

Your heart was aching to say something to him but you didn’t want to press it, so you abruptly stood up and grabbed the box from him, putting the lid back in it.

“That’s enough for right now.” You stood on your tippy toes to place the box back in the top of your closet, where dust had settled around the edges of it for sitting in the same spot for so long.

“I can’t believe you kept all those. Even after the years you were so mean to me.” Eddie came up behind you and took the box from your hands and effortlessly returned it to its place.

“You know me, I keep everything.” You were a little nervous now, not sure where the conversation was going.

“What about pictures of him?” Eddie asked, his voice laced with disgust.

“Eddie, come on. You really think I’d keep any of him? I threw all the ones I had out in Chicago, and Steve got all of the ones out of the house before I made it home.”

“I’m shocked he didn’t make you burn your pictures with me.” He scoffed, pacing around your room.

“He didn’t know I had those.” You watched him scratch at his neck as he kept pacing. “Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“While we’re on the subject of keeping things… Robin told me that my DnD notebook was one of the first things you asked about after you woke up.”

“Yeah, I was worried that you would kill me if we ever talked again and I’d lost it.”

“Lost it? Eddie, I didn’t even know that thing still existed until you showed it to me.”

“Well. It’s the one thing that I had of you, of yours that was still… you. You know? You just switched in freshman year to this completely different girl desperate to fit in. I tried calling you, but your mom always made up whatever excuse you told her. Cheerleading practice, or at Grace’s house, or whatever it was. Finally I just gave up after you started looking at me with disgust at school if we saw each other. Then your sophomore year I knew I was never going to get you back, you were long gone.”

“But I’m back now.” You said quietly.

“Yeah, but at what cost?” He let out a disparaging smile, “You were with that abusive piece of shit for all of those years, and I was here rotting in Hawkins, being the freak of the town and then almost dying. Now you’re back, and you’re just… you’re back in my life again. But nothing is the same.” He sounded defeated.

You looked at him with tears in your eyes, and you felt your heart crumpling down.

“Eddie, I’m sorry.”

“Everyone is. Everyone is so sorry about what happened, aren’t they?”

“Eddie, please.” You grabbed his arm as he tried to walk out. He pulled it away from you, then turned to face you.

“I loved you, but you didn’t see it. You didn’t care, you just wanted to be the popular girl, you wanted everyone to love you. Sweetheart, none of those people did, except me.”

“I never told my mom to make up lies about where I was. I didn’t know you ever tried to call me. I thought you hated me for joining the cheerleading team.”

“Hate you? I could never hate you. Fuck- all of that bullshit you said to me in high school and look where we’re at now.” His chest was heaving, and you were feeling woozy from the emotional whiplash of the conversation.

“Where are we now?” You asked, afraid of the answer. Eddie’s hands slowly reached up to your face, and he didn’t miss the tiny flinch you made as you realized he was about to touch you.

“I think you know where I’m at.” His hands were resting on either side of your jaw, and his thumbs were slowly moving in circles as he looked you in the eyes, searching for something. “I said I could never hate you, didn’t I?” You nodded slowly at him, “it’s because I never stopped loving you.”

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on your lips before pulling back and resting his forehead against yours.

“Eddie, I love you too.” You said, placing your hands over his and squeezing them. You watched as his eyes squeezed so hard that tears started falling.

“Don’t say it just because I said it. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, you know-” he started getting himself riled up the more he spoke.

“I do know, and that’s why I’m saying it. I love you.” His eyes were still shut and he was breathing through his nose. “Look at me.” You grabbed his face to move it to yours and watched as his eyes opened up. “I can’t say it enough, I love you, Eddie.” He leaned in after he accepted your confession and kissed you again, still a quick kiss, but so much feeling behind it. “And I promise you, all of those people out there love you too. But not… not as much as I do.”

He smiled at you before grabbing your hand and leading you downstairs, and back out to the pool. To your surprise, no one made any comments about the two of you being gone together, and not as much time must have passed as you thought because Steve was just putting burgers and some chicken on the grill. Eddie kissed the side of your head before he went to the cooler for a beer and resumed his stand beside your brother.

Alright, you confessed your love to him, so why do you feel like you could hurl up the last 3 days worth of food as you stared at him?

“Grabbing a beer, you want one?” Nancy placed a hand on your shoulder and asked as she walked by you standing on the hot concrete, and you nodded a quick yes to her.

“Thanks.” You said as she handed one back to you.

“You alright? You look a little bit sick to your stomach.”

“Yeah, just hanging in there. We had another one of those big conversations and I feel a little off.”

“C’mon, walk it off and come sit over here with us and forget about it for a minute.” You followed her over to where Jonathan and Robin both were talking in depth about some movie ending and why it should’ve ended differently.

“Hey guys.” You sat down, sharing a chair with Robin again. You started drinking your beer quickly as they changed the conversation and you joined in as you heard laughter and splashing in the background. Minutes later, it all stopped. Everything. The laughing, the splashing, and any noise other than the few birds that were still around.

You four looked to the pool. Everyone’s head was accounted for, and then you looked over at the grill where Steve was laughing as he flipped a burger. Steve, just Steve. Where was Eddie? Suddenly you were being lifted up by a very cold, wet body and were getting thrown into the pool, beer in hand and all.

“What the fuck?!” You said as you came up from the water. Eddie was also… in the pool with you. Shirtless, but his jeans on.

“Dustin made a bet and I had to follow up on my end.” He swooped an arm around your waist and pulled you into him. “Love you.” He kissed you on the lips before he let go of you and swam to the side of the pool. He pushed himself out of the water, making a show of his wet hair, then pulled his jeans off to be left just in his boxers.

“Hey man, put some trunks on.” Steve yelled at him before putting the lid down on the grill and running inside. He jogged back out with a pair of his red ones and tossed them at Eddie’s chest, “for your decency.” He said with a smirk, and Eddie put them on and hopped in the pool with everyone else, and a fresh beer for you.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ignoring a kid?

So, a bit of context first:

I work a full time job as a secretary for my boss and I have to commute to my job by walking since I don't have a car.

But walking is not really a problem here. It's actually my job : I don't get a lot of pay and my working conditions are really stressfull, mostly because of my boss.

She has some anger issues and is prone to violence fairly often. Honestly, I'm scared for my life sometimes cuz of her mood swings and that I could be her next victim (it's also one of the reasons I didn't quit yet, I'm scared she'll find out and try to hit me or worse)

A bunch of people lost their jobs because of her violent actions but she's never held accountable because she's pretty rich and has a lot of power to silence the people who would complain.

Needless to say, while I'm still working for her and trying to silently find a way to quit, I don't want to get on her bad side.

So, for the AITA situation:

I work up super late one morning because my alarm clock didn't work and had to run to get to my job on time (my boss absolutely hates when we aren't pontual).

While running, and looking at my clock for time to time, just to make sure I'm not late, this kid starts calling for someone.

She's like 12, idk them, and they didn't say my name, so at first I didn't realize they were calling for me, and i couldn't honestly be bothered.

But I start to hear them following me and still trying to call me for something but I keep actively ignoring them and running to my workplace so I don't get there late.

I don't realize till later, when my boss tells me furiously about it, that the kid ended up following me till my workplace and messing with the hardworking staff.

Felt kinda bad about it because nobody knows it was kinda my fault the kid kept following me and I could've resolved this situation if I just stopped earlier and listened to them.

AITA for ignoring this kid and accidentally guiding them to Wonderland?

What are these acronyms?

[mxqdii]

omg hi :) i saw your bpd!reader hcs for matt and i was wondering if you could do them for chris too?

headcannons - c.s x bpd gf

pairings:

summary:

warning(s): bpd, mental health mentions, medication mentions.

not proofread

like i said with the matt hcs, you probably wouldn't wanna tell chris because yk, why would anyone

probably was snooping and ends up finding out by seeing a text from a doctor or seeing a notification saying to come pick up medication (if you take it)

"whats that?" he'd ask curiously and you'd tense up

if you really dont want to tell him, he'd stop prying but would wonder 24/7

eventually, when you do tell him (if thats when he initally sees it same thing) he's like "oh" (again not in a bad way)

you'd distance yourself, worrying he'd see you differently

he'd for sure do a bunch of research and maybe even go to matt for advice

honestly, probably wouldn’t bring it up again because why would he? its not something that needs to be mentioned all the time

again if you take meds, reminds you if you forget or just in general

is kinda impulsive so you being impulsive he finds kind of fun (unless its something to harm you or others)

if you're dissociating or zoning out, he'd gently tap you and ask what you were thinking about

doesn't mind your mood swings as someone who has to live with matt and his mattitude 😭

if you snap at him he'd be a little annoyed at first, then remember about your bpd and put pieces together, realizing you're in one of you're episodes

after that, when he calms you down, he'd sit you down and you guys would have a talk about it so you could educate him on what bpd is like for you specifically (considering its different for everyone)

chris is pretty straight up so i feel like he'd ask you very bluntly if you have any issues with staying clean (with anything whether its drugs, self harm, drinking, vaping etc.)

he'd help you through it without treating you differently

lowk becomes mental health advocate 😭

in conclusion we love chris and he'd be super caring and sweet to any gf <3

TAGLIST:

@opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm @theperson-nextdoor @its-jennarose @thetriplets3 @gottamakemyhatersmad @luvsturniolo

[shipaxe]

My experience being wrong about plurality

Hi. For a year and a few months more, I believed I was a system. Why did I believe this, and what are some reasons I did, as well as how I realized I was wrong? Why I thought I was a system Around September of 2021, I labeled myself as an endogenic median system. Upon finding the system label, I did nowhere near enough research before labeling myself as one. It felt like the non-traumagenic community didn't care; if you thought you were a system, you were one! If you didn't, you weren't. It felt black and white. Eventually, I realised I had trauma I was unaware of, and switched to the label traumagenic. I was no longer median, either. In less than a year, I had 100+ alters. While this can happen, I don't believe I was nearly as stressed as I would have needed to be, and it just.. didn't feel right. Other factors that lead me into the belief I have multiple other disorders. Specifically, I suspect I have BPD, and the dissociation, mood swings, sense of emptiness, and identity issues impacted me a lot. I mistook these symptoms for OSDD-1. I subconsciously started sectioning off parts of my identity, and felt more and more separate- hence the switch from median to multiple. I am also fictionkin and otherkin. Some of my fictives (which my system consisted almost completely of) ended up being kintypes. I am also, to put it simply, lonely. I never feel like I fit in. In the system community, sometimes I DID feel like I fit in. When I didn't, someone else was "chilling in cofront". A lot of them were like imaginary friends to make me feel less alone. Those ones don't even feel like a part of me, but they're not separate people, either. They're just.. figments of my own imagination. To be honest, I've felt much lonelier upon learning I am a singlet. How I realized I was wrong Honestly, it was somewhat obvious. Many of my "headmates" felt like they were a part of me, and if we had different bodies, it wouldn't be the same- because they were me. I also subconsciously started to copy symptoms I didn't have, I switched as I wanted, I was fictive heavy- which can happen, but it's rarer than people realise. My trauma was not severe or repetitive. I could go on. A big problem in the system community is the "everyone is valid" mentality; I believe MUCH more research should be done before labeling as a system, and not enough people talk about it. Another issue is that not a lot of people talk about being wrong, and personally, I was terrified to tell people I was wrong. It's fucking difficult. There's too much "you're valid! you're valid! you're valid!" and not enough "hey, it's okay if you're wrong!". When I panicked around the time I realized I was wrong (and denied it for weeks), I never received an "it's okay if you're wrong". All I got was "hey, calm down, you ARE a system". I think the community has a lot to fix. This has fucked up my dissociation issues and identity problems worse than they were before. I wish I had realized I was a singlet sooner or never jumped into this label. Not all of these mean you're a singlet, but if you relate to this, please be open to the idea of being wrong. Thanks for reading this. Please share this- my goal with it is to help others. Have a good day/night, drink some water, and know that it's okay to be wrong. ☆

[ctheathy]

Popee the Performer General Headcanons

Popee x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Author’s note: Friendly reminder that he is not a clown. He is the entire circus🤡

Popee/Reader [Romantic]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Violence [Not directed torwards darling] • Popee being a sociopath • Jealousy • Implications that Kedah died again💀 • Abandonment issues

⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱

Right. The violent sociopathic clown who wears a bunny suit, what could go wrong? Popee is known to be a naturally confident yet somewhat arrogant person. His self confidence knows no limits and he truly believes himself to be brilliant at everything he does. In his eyes, those little romance squabbles would have meant nothing but trouble and an absolute distraction for the practice of his talent. He’d want nothing to do with the entirety of ‘relationships’. At first.

That was until you decided to come along.

Right off the bat, Popee has little to no communication skills. Like, at all. He and the others have technically been continuing this lifestyle of isolation to the point their beliefs and attitudes are mainly distinct from the average household you may know about. He can and will get up in your face, chuckling while having a shit-eating grin plastered on his lips. And it’s most likely gonna take a while for him to understand, much less respect your mannerisms and ways of living. He could very much be considered a fine line between the characteristics of a said ‘tsundere’ and that of a ‘yandere’ with just how occasionally off-putting his mindset and behaviours can be. His mood swings can make it difficult to keep you with him, but it’s important you’ll remain patient and understanding for the time being.

He is kind of a mess when it comes to you, but he would never dare to show anyone that. Surprisingly for his case; due to his lack of contact with other human beings, he can grow incredibly flustered under certain circumstances. Doting on him or giving him the slightest bit affection when the others are around results in him pouting and throwing a temper tantrum. But the huge blush on his rosy cheeks honestly says everything, as he does truly appreciate your sweet demeanor and takes your attachment to him to heart. Despite Popee not being extremely fond of hugs and sudden closure, you always manage to surprise the others when he quite literally just allows you snuggle up against him, especially as bombs would have been flying around again if one of them even thought of, much less dared to do such things to him.

Whiny as hell. That’s it. That’s the entire paragraph. If he wants your attention, you better give it to him in a split second unless if you want him to go down yet another warpath and bombard the place in a blind rage. He’ll still make sure that none of his breakouts are directed towards you or even occur close to you though, as he genuinely couldn’t possibly live with himself knowing he harmed you during some pointless fit of anger of his. You genuinely are the only being that can keep the boy somewhat tame and peaceful.

To Kedamono, you quite literally are the one thing that keeps Popee from absolutely demolishing the entire circus, and he feels extremely appreciative and respectful towards you because of this. Speaking of the other performers, they all feel extraordinarily grateful when it comes to you because you have the magic ability to keep Popee somewhat in check. But they also definitely got the hint and know when to keep their distances from you, knowing his jealousy streak can go from bad to immense in an instant from some ... Let’s just say past experiences. If anyone even takes the risk to upset you in the slightest, they’ll be humbled by his dagger real quick. Popee already goes cuckoo when your behaviour shows signs of being upset, but if you somehow got physically harmed in one way or another? Haha ... The boy would go absolutely ballistic for your sake and destroy anything (or anyone for that matter) that managed to even witness the scene, much less towards those that even inclined on hurting you in the first place.

A merciless tease at heart, honestly nothing can stop this absolute menace. It’s gotten to the point where he’s just straight up bullying you to some extents because he has no clue on how to indicate his desire for your love. He’s going to be after you and pushing your buttons no matter what your responses towards it might be. He enjoys any kind of reaction he can get out of you, so you might as well just accept it as your daily schedule at this point. He knows you’re most likely the only one who can put up with his absolute bullsh1t and clearly uses this to his advantage. But somewhere deep down, in the back of his mind, he cannot help but feel a tinge of paranoia that you’ll eventually grow irritated or worse, even tired by his antics. It is no joke when I say that he is indescribably starved for attention and acknowledgement for his efforts and he will get that recognition through you. And due to this observation, he tends to grow accustomed and more loving to you over time. He’s still not going to be a snuggle bug, but he tends to ... Appreciate the thought behind the embrace a whole lot more and doesn’t just freak out as much when you sneak up to him for a hug. During those rare moments, he even grows to become more touchy himself. Gently stroking your cheek with his cat-like tail.

Speaking of his tail, it might as well be considered to have a mind of its own at some rate. It instinctively tends to behave on what Popee is experiencing on that current moment, mainly determined by his emotions. An example being when he’s specifically feeling like a little brat, he’d purposely walk over to wherever you are sitting and quite frankly just smack you directly in the face with his tail. But the tail can sometimes be an inconvenience to him too. If you’d go up and give him a peck on the cheek out in the open. He’d act like whatever you just did was the most inappropriate and gross thing in the world, but his excitedly wagging tail would betray him and silence the boy in an instant, leaving him to grow as red as a fire hydrant.

⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱

[j0eyj0rdis0n]

Any darker headcannons on Toby?

“TICCI” TOBY DARK HEADCANNONS

Oh how I’ve been dying to do dark headcannons!

[nsfw under the cut!]

I know it’s said he has bipolar disorder but honestly I see him as more of a BPD kind of guy. His moods can switch on a dime and that seems to fit more with BPD than the long highs and lows of bipolar.

Continuing on that thought, when he flips to that wild anger of his it’s absolutely terrifying. He goes on rampages where he’ll scream and yell while running around the mansion punching holes in walls and swinging his hatchets into doors. Often when the person who set him off tried to lock themselves away

He definitely beats the fuck out of himself and others, and he’s most certainly slapped, punched, or slammed your head into the table once or twice (more about this further down)

Usually after his rampages it’ll be close to three days to a week of solitude. He can’t bare to show his face after such an event. He’ll lock himself away and rot away in bed.

He’ll use his sickly sweet niceness to get what he wants. So don’t play into it until you’re close. Like years of knowing each other close. He’s practically a master of manipulation, knowing exactly what to say and do to get what he wants. He’ll use his perceived dumbness in his favor.

Due to his past he has some… Trust issues… To say the very least. He needs to know where you are practically 24/7. So when you’re gone for too long or you don’t respond to a text he automatically assumes the worst. You don’t want him?? Did he not give you enough? Everything you could possibly need? And back to the manipulation thing, he’ll make sure you feel terrible about not checking in. You’ll question if you’re even enough for him.

He’d definitely lose it during those times you’re away for too long or won’t check in. So when you get home he’ll be clutching his head and crying. When he sees you walk through the door he’ll immediately be on you, yelling and screaming about how you don’t love him. Telling you that you’re in for a punishment as he grabs a hammer or raises his fist. He’d probably break your arm and make it seem like it was your fault for ending up here.

He just gives me Tate Langdon from AHS vibes

He’s clingy to the point it’s almost scary. You can’t hang out with anyone without him lurking in the background. And circling back around to previous statements, if you hang out with anyone without telling him, there’s trouble in store for you.

Also if anyone calls him “Ticci” Toby, consider that your last words. It irritates him to no end and he has no problem cutting heads off

He’s never fucked anyone, he just screams virgin. So he’s the type to jerk off wayyyyyyyy too much. Like it’s concerning how often you hear it happening. And he’s absolutely shameless about it too. If you walk in while he’s at it, he’ll give you a sly grin and try and get you to join

And when he finally gets his hands on you there’s no stopping him. He doesn’t give a fuck if he hurts you, he can’t feel pain so how on earth could you? He won’t stop until he’s satisfied, he doesn’t care if you bleed, cry, scream or beg him to stop.

That first time would probably be hell for you. It would probably get better after a few more times, but he’d definitely laugh at your pain

He’s rather impatient when it comes to PDA or sex. He wants it and he wants it now

I hope you enjoyed this and it seems accurate! I’d love to indulge in requests with this side of Toby, I think it would be quite interesting 😉

[raes-writing-space]

TWST Relationship Headcanons (Floyd, Ruggie, Kalim)

A/N: Suggestive Content Tread Lightly, not explicit, like it’s not full on smut, but it does have sexual themes. Reader isn’t said to be “Yuu” however, it may mention events in the story. Some of these are kind of written as a “funny haha” but it does have some seriousness behind it.

All characters are aged up to consenting age, or as the reader, imagine you are the same age as them (still of consenting age.)

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of being touch-starved, violence, sexual themes, mentions of yandere vibes in Floyd’s. Possible spelling errors, tumblr won't save my changes no matter how many times I fix them.

Floyd:

I hope you didn’t want personal space. It’s the equivalent to that tiktok sound, “This is Bob, Bob loves his personal space. This is Larry, Larry also love’s Bob’s personal space.”

But honestly a lot of it is because he’s touch starved, and the physical contact he DOES usually have isn’t positive in any way, it’s violent, always fights.

The first time you give him a regular hug for the first time, doesn’t even have to be a full hug, it could be a side hug, he’s like “Wtf was that??? Wait, hold on, I want more of that.”

He always has to be touching you in some way, arm over the shoulder or around the waist, draping his whole body on you, holding hands, intertwining pinkies, hands in your pockets, SOMETHING.

While he does have mood swings, hardly ever do you really have to deal with it, because you always make his days better. Unless you did something to really set him off, he’s always in a good mood with you.

However, it can’t be said towards other people. So, while he might make YOU food that’s really good, he will make everyone else basically eat garbage. And while he might not snap at YOU, he might snap at someone else.

He finds you really interesting, even if you feel like your life is boring, he does not find it boring at all. He wants to figure you out, even if it’s doing “nothing” he still wants to understand why you choose to do said “nothing”, even if it’s something that would typically bore him.

He is BLUNT AF and LOUD AF, so if you good luck trying to keep him from spilling all your relationship info, he is so loud in his love for you, and he does not care if it makes other people uncomfortable to hear about how much he loves your body, mind, personality, etc. If you’re wearing his favorite pair of jeans he’s going to tell you how much he likes your ass in those jeans, and again, he does not care where he’s at or who’s around him.

Even if you’re the more modest or shy type, and try and tell him to “keep it down” he might, MIGHT, respect your wishes, however, don’t be surprised if he just suddenly grabs you and starts whispering in your ear all the shit he wants to say out loud. At least only you can hear it...

Floyd will use his strength and height to his advantage, even if you’re the same height as him or taller, he is really strong, doesn’t matter your weight baby, he will have no issues picking you up like a damn rag doll and throwing you over his shoulder.

He especially does this if he feels as if you’re not spending enough time with him. Floyd is a very needy eel, and he doesn’t like how much time you’re spending studying or hanging with friends, or a hobby, or ANYTHING, and not spending time with him :(( No, he does not care that you have a test coming up!! (Again with point one)

Floyd can get violent if it means protecting you in some way. if you get even so much as a dirty look from someone, he’s already giving the worst “warning sign” look to them EVER. Sevens forbid someone actually makes a threat towards you, because Floyd will make sure that they never so much as look at you, or in worst cases, make sure they never breathe the same air as you ever again.

Things might become sexual with him a bit fast, mostly because he’s touch starved and he’s just kind of overwhelmed with how much he feels for you, that he just sorta... needs to let it out in some way. And there’s nothing better than giving you all the pleasure you could ever want, and then some, be prepared to get overstimulated, it’s not even intentional sometimes, he just... won’t stop...

Floyd CAN make love to you, but even him making love to you can come off as a little rougher some times, he doesn’t mean too, he makes up for it in a lot of kisses, sweet touches, trying to make you laugh, and praise. He can also fuck the shit outta you though if that’s what you want.

On a more intimate note, if you kiss his scars, he’s not going to fully understand what it is you’re exactly doing at first, but once it does finally click that “Oh.” moment he might get overwhelmed and tear up a bit. He doesn’t understand why he’s tearing up, it shouldn’t matter to him that much, and yet, something within him is telling him that it does. Because despite his nature you treat him as if he’s gentle, and soft, and should be cared for and deserves to be cared for in a soft and gentle way.

Don’t take it the wrong way if he needs a minute to recover after that, because being vulnerable was never a thing he was taught to do, and it’s new to him... But he wants to be vulnerable with you, he really does, he just doesn’t know how to show it properly.

While he is a little unhinged, he is loyal, fiercely so, (almost borderline yandere, but it’s not intentional... it’s just how he is.) he has a lot of emotions, most that he can’t always control, but he does support you with everything, and loves you more than he can ever actually say it.

Ruggie:

Ruggie is the definition of “You fell first, he fell harder”, he’s got a charismatic charm to him that everyone to some extent falls for, however, he himself is rather guarded and doesn’t trust easily.

So with you? The fact that he allowed himself to feel comfortable around you and let his guard down? And trust you wholeheartedly? It took him a little while to figure out his feelings and again, allow himself to fall for you, that it was going to be okay, and once he did fall for you, he fell hard.

Of course, he’s still a mischievous little shithead, stealing shit from your pockets just to give it back to you in order to grab your attention and talk to him, or teases you relentlessly for anything you do, it’s just a love language of his. Take it in stride, he just wants to see you smile in some way, even if it’s a sarcastic one.

His biggest love languages are quality time and acts of service, he has a harder time finding the words to comfort or reassure you in the way that you need, he doesn’t have the money to give you gifts all the time (he does try though), and yes, while he does love physical affection too, it’s in the small things he does for you every day that shows his love for you.

Your laundry would be folded even if you didn’t ask, he’d have breakfast ready for you when you wake up, he’ll have a tissue at the ready when you sneeze, he’ll sit with you in complete silence doing different things in the same room, help you study, or distract you from studying, and be the perfect body double when you’re having a hard time doing tasks alone. He himself even understands and appreciates the times you do the same for him.

However, the saying “the way to his heart is through his stomach” runs true for him. Even if you don’t know how to cook, or aren’t very good at it, just the thought of putting in the effort of cooking something for him means more than you know. He’ll teach you along the way, if you’re willing to learn. Even if it’s just you finding a recipe you think he’ll like and would want to learn with him, he’ll appreciate.

There’s some things he will do that you might only understand if you also came from a low-income household. If he makes a pallet on the ground next to your bed for the first time he stays over, it’s out of instinct. Or some of the late night “ingredient dinners” he grabs for himself, it makes sense to him. A spoon full of peanut butter, or a bowl of canned corn and some cheese are typical things that are quick, cheap, and easy to obtain.

He might never get out of that mindset, even after you’ve given him some more security in his life, but don’t hold that against him, that’s just how he learned how to survive in his childhood, he got what he could, even if it meant stealing it, and he tries his best to hold out until whenever his next full meal was, whether that’s in an hour or two days from now.

Ruggie is incredibly hard working, he works various part time jobs, and he’s picked up a plethora of skills, he’s a little good at everything, if you need your makeup done, he’s your guy. Ripped shirt? He can sew it for you. You took up a niche hobby but you aren’t sure where to get started? Ruggie’s got you.

However, he can run himself completely ragged if you don’t tell him to take a break and just take care of him. Do some of his chores, cuddle him, let him take a nap with you, feed him, let him vent to you, anything. He’ll appreciate it all the same, and he’ll always make sure that you never want for anything in return.

Being in a relationship with Ruggie means being in a partnership, he’s devoted, and will put in 100% into the relationship, but you need to put in 100% on your end too, whatever that means to you. He’s in it for the long haul, but he needs to know that you’re going to be there for him when he has nothing, or when he has everything, and he needs to know that you’ll support him regardless, because he’ll support you in the same way.

Sex with Ruggie is always a mixed bag based on the mood, and what both of you need or want out of it. I believe he’s a switch, entirely, and if you want him to take initiative he will, and if you want to take initiative, he’ll follow. He can be serious, he can be goofy, he can make love to you and be incredibly intimate, or he can fuck you and treat you like a slut if that’s what you want.

You can make him beg even, just don’t forget to praise him. He lives for your praise regardless if he’s a sub or a dom, he just wants to make sure he’s doing enough for you, and if you need to switch things up again, tell him. He’s very understanding and adaptable.

Sudden leg cramp? Massages it out, gets you some water, and asks if you want to continue. You’re not quite close to orgasm because of XYZ? He’ll change it up for you so you can get there. You suddenly just want to stop? He would never make you feel guilty for it, if you want to stop, then you two will stop, that’s it.

He’s all for non-sexual acts of intimacy though, bathing is especially his favorite. He loves taking baths or showers with you, and after awhile he almost gets weird taking showers or baths without you, because it just doesn’t feel the same. He feels like he’s somehow also wasting precious water that could be easily saved if you just there with him.

His community means a lot to him, if he brings you back to his hometown, he doesn’t expect everyone to like you, but if you at least put in the effort to get to know them, learn, help, whatever it is that you need to do, he’ll love you even more for it. He’s seen as a big brother to a lot of the younger kids, and if they love you, then he knows he’s found the right person to settle down with.

While there are some people who are definitely your significant other but not exactly your best friend, Ruggie is 100% your best friend and your significant other. He see’s you in the same way. You should be able to laugh and feel comfortable with him, as much as he’ll laugh and feel comfortable with you.

Kalim:

Right off the bat I want to say that Kalim is not as naive as many people perceive him as. He’s emotionally intelligent, but he struggles with seeing the bad in people because that means that the world really is as scary, and awful as people say it is, and that’s not what he wants to see it as..!! He chooses to be naive as both a mix of him being actually a little naive, and as a coping and survival mechanism to some of the traumas in his life.

With that being said, while he is emotionally intelligent, it takes him a minute to differentiate his feelings for you, he wants to be sure that he legitimately is in love with you, and not just infatuated with the idea of you. Kalim romanticizes a lot of scenarios, so for him, of course it’s easy to fall in love with the idea of you, so he takes more time with you, gets to know you better, lets himself feel every emotion with you, and when he finally confesses his feelings for you, know that they’re genuine.

It’s very easy for Kalim to just want to spoil you rotten, if you’re not into it, you gotta tell him that. All he wants in the end is to make you happy, however he makes you happy isn’t really the necessary part to him as long as you’re happy. So, if you like being spoiled, as long as you’re happy, he’ll spoil you. If you feel weird taking his gifts, which are quite expensive, and you get awkward when he sings your praises and wants to throw a parade in your honor? Tell him, and he’ll better suit your needs.

He won’t stop gift giving if you aren’t the type that likes getting gifts, but if he sees a flower while walking, he’ll give it to you, and if you need a sweater because you’re cold, you can take his. If you don’t like crowds he’ll plan something that’s just the two of you.

Jamil will thank you if you end up being the guiding voice for him, in my opinion he reeks of ADHD, just like Floyd, but while Floyd grew to learn different life skills (due to his background), Kalim grew up in privilege and never needed to learn those skills, and was also encouraged not to learn, which didn’t do him any favors. However, Kalim can and does want to learn, if you’re wiling to teach him and be patient with him, he can be clumsy, he’ll have a deep respect for you.

Kalim is used to being coddled by his family, so if he slowly but surely start to make him see reality for what it is, a mix of good and bad, beautiful and ugly, he’ll start to open up himself in different ways even he didn’t realize he knew he had. Make sure to support him through it all, he might need to do some healing he didn’t realize he needed to do... (C’mon, poor boy really had to live with the fact that he can be casually poisoned at any moment, that kind of lifelong paranoia can’t be good for even the best optimist...)

He’s can learn to master any love language if he wanted to, even if he might need a little bit of guidance, he will always be first and foremost, a dedicated partner. Communicate with him, that’s the most important part, he won’t know unless you tell him, even if it you end up having to be a bit blunt, still tell him.

He didn’t realize how touch starved he was until he started dating you, he’s always been a physically affectionate person, but a lot of people push him away or are just uncomfortable with how affectionate he’s being. So the fact that he can be physically affectionate with you? Oh man, he comes off as really needy, he kind of is, but it’s always got rose colored glasses on, so he’s just a sweetheart who just really wants to please you.

However, he’s still new to romance, he’s always wanted to be romantic with someone, so while he’s physically affectionate, he gets nervous when he wants to kiss you. He starts off with kissing your knuckles, then the inner part of your wrist, then your cheeks, but he always makes himself too flustered to fully kiss you on the lips, at least, for the first time.

Once you initiate the first kiss with him, then it’s over for, then he’ll openly kiss you all the time, never really making out, but a lot of “pecks” on the lips, and god forbid he has to go do something important without you, because one “goodbye kiss” turns easily into a dozen goodbye kisses if you don’t stop him and tell him you’ll see him later.

You’ll have to guide him through his first make out session, he’s got a lot of pent up energy that he doesn’t really know what to do with, he gets a bit overwhelmed, and while he’s into it, his hands shake when he pulls you closer, or he grips onto your clothes a little too tight...

But once again, once the first is over, you’ll find him quickly wanting more of you, and finding himself getting a little greedy with wanting your love, it’s as if he’s been running at 100% battery his entire life with no real good way to release even a little bit of that energy, so when you give him that outlet, he wants to just give all of his energy to you.

Speaking of, the first time you have sex with him, it’ll be a little clumsy, but again, once he learns, like I’ve mentioned a few times, he just wants to please you. So much so, he might not actually realize he’s overstimulating you, he’s just taking your moans and reactions as a positive thing, and is just going to keep going, because obviously he’s doing something right, and you’re pleased, but doesn’t realize there is such a thing as too much.

He’s definitely a switch, of course, if he is dominant, he’s a service dom maybe even bordering pleasure dom sometimes. Also, Kalim is very loud, he moans, whines, groans, anything and everything, always praising you for something, even if it isn’t even related to sex, he’s just saying the first thing that’s coming to his mind, which, really isn’t much considering his brain turns to absolute mush when he’s fucking you, but it’s something.

Kalim loves laying on your stomach and just... staring at you... He considers himself so lucky to have someone like you loving him, and he hopes you feel the same way, he wants you to feel the same way.

If you meet his family, good luck with his siblings, they’ll have a thousand questions and he will want to answer all of them, even when he really shouldn’t. And, he also has lost count of how many siblings he has, so... it’s very easy for him to just... sort of forget who you’ve met and who you haven’t.

If his parents somehow don’t approve of you for some reason, Kalim will defend you! He will struggle to find the words at first, more confused and hurt by his parents choice, but in the end he’ll choose his love for you over any riches he could ever hold or own. To him, you are his greatest treasure. The most valuable thing in his life.

He finally understands what it means when people say things are “priceless” not in the way in which he originally believed, thinking they were under-valuing something or that it was free, but that it meant that no money in the world could ever make them consider parting with whatever it was, and for him, that’s you.

Kalim is a sunshine child, but he’s not so naive, if you’re willing to be patient with him, guide him, love him with everything, he’ll do the same for you in return. He’ll always know when you’re upset, even if it hasn’t fully hit you yet that you were upset, he wants to help you with anything, and he wants to grow with you.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

A penny for your thoughts on the Dikinbaus episode? 👀👀👀

Omg okay so I definitely have to rewatch it like 10082927 times but just to go off of my late night 'delirious from excitement' watch, I am absolutely ECSTATIC at the way the episode treated Butters and gave him a well deserved win.

Butters has evolved a lot over the course of the show, he used to be a 100% naïve and innocent boy who was absolutely clueless about everything mature or terrible going on around him and it was always a very hopeful thing for me to watch him keep going and loving life despite how much the world tore him down on all ends. In a way, watching old seasons makes me miss the old Butters, but if Butters had just stayed the same for the next 20 seasons, he would hardly feel like a real/three dimensional person as he does now.

The changes and mood swings he's gone through, as well as the resilience he's started to build up were weird to watch at first (*COUGH* s20) but then they've started making more and more sense, especially taking into account the Post COVID special and the two wildly different paths his life could go.

That all being said, Dikinbaus was an absolutely satisfying cathartic episode as a Butters enthusiast, because he's just finally embracing things he's genuinely good at and demanding justice from someone who's arguably taken advantage of him the most in the entire show: Cartman.

It's kind of like Butters' version of Wendy's "Breast Cancer Show Ever" episode, where she's often been disrespected in a sexist way by him and no one (no teachers/adults) ever really did something, so she took matters into her own hands. Cartman is always screwing Butters over by letting him take the fall for his schemes, making Butters spend money on his behalf, and Butters has let him get away with it for so long, and so have Butters' parents (and everyone else but I especially blame the adults bc yknow).

This makes Dikinbaus kind of a kickstarter for Butters' "Fuck you, Eric!" moment at the end of Post COVID: The Return of COVID, which is nice to see because in the "Worldwide Privacy Tour" episode earlier in the season, Butters' behavior (after his parents sent him to rework his "brand") reminded me much more of Vic Chaos. It's nice to see these two versions of Butters' future reflect in present episodes, and I'm excited to see more of it in future episodes.

I've been rambling about Butters only but tbh I found the Kenman dynamic in this episode hilarious too. It makes me kind of mourn the respect Butters had for Kenny though, bc I'm sure that after this episode it must've significantly gone down, but honestly I was just happy to see Kenny have some fun even if it was at Butters' expense. Let him be a dumb immature kid fr

The only issue I had with the episode for now is the commentary on mental health days at work and the underlying "today's youth is sensitive and too lazy to work" message, which lacked nuance and just kinda felt like old people complaining. It would've been okay if they'd kept it only to Cartman, kinda like the "there's queer people, and then there's Mr Garrison" thing, but they brought Kenny & other kids into that narrative too so it made me feel a little eh about the commentary. But oh well

Sorry anon, you gave me a penny and I'm throwing a whole thesis on you but I still thank you a lot for asking and letting me ramble. Kisses to you :>>

[officialspec]

Hi are you still doing the ama? I have a lot of general confusion and don't know whether I would consider T or not. I'm really scared of the negatives and for me they might outweigh the positives. If it's not too much trouble, could you make a pros and cons list of everything you've experienced? Please be open about the cons, I want a balanced veiw so I can weigh things up properly. Thank you sm!

i guess i wanna start by saying - a lot has changed since i started 5 yrs ago!! if youre curious or concerned, i would genuinely recommend booking an appt with a doctor and talking honestly about your goals to see if T is a viable option (obviously depending on location and safety etc)

one of my close friends wanted a more androgynous outcome, so theyre taking a lower dose to assess the changes at a slow pace and thats working well for them!! transitioning isnt an exact science, so theres always some give and take with medications to get a result you like, and doctors are generally willing to help facilitate that

for me, ive loved nearly every effect ive gotten from testosterone. i love my facial and body hair, i love my broad shoulders, i love the shape of my hands and face, i love my voice, i LOVE bottom growth. i like the way my hair texture has changed and my skin feels different. its great

for stuff im less fond of, i dont like running hotter and sweating more (sweating is like a huge sensory issue for me), and i dont like how my hair is thinning. but both of those are easily managed with small lifestyle changes, so its just kind of a mild discomfort most of the time. when i first started the mood swings were really difficult, but i was dealing with a lot of mental health issues at the time and its gotten much easier in the years since <3

[slveepyscwrs]

Are you serious about the writing fics...if so a Kuroo x reader Angst fight breakup pleeeaaase😭

When it comes to writing fics about gay volleyball boys, my friend, I'm always serious... 💅✨

Anyways, I hope this angsty breakup fic hits you in the feels as much as it did for me!

(I really enjoyed writing this, so to everyone, let me know if you want a part two– Should Kuroo reconcile, or should Kenma save the reader?)

Without further ado, let's get into your request! (This will also be cross posted to AO3!)

A Love I Never Knew

Summary: All of your heart was with the one person you adored the most, Kuroo Tetsurou. When things started to turn dark for you, you were sure that he would be there. You trusted him, you confided in him, and yet the result of that was the appearance of his true self– one that you never could have imagined in your wildest dreams, or more accurately, your darkest nightmares...

Info/Warnings: gender neutral reader, breakups, cliffhanger ending, aggressiveness, emotional breakdowns, self-esteem issues

“Are you okay?”

When it came to being asked that question, lately, you honestly didn’t know how to respond. Of course, you knew what to say: “I’m fine!”

Your self esteem, on the other hand, told an entirely different story.

You just couldn’t bring yourself to look in the mirror lately. No matter which way you looked at it, you couldn’t consider yourself beautiful. In your eyes, there were so many imperfections on your face, your body, everywhere.

To make matters worse, you had been losing sleep over it too. You had lost a lot of your previous cheerful spirit, as your eyelids began to sag.

Soon, your insecurities about your appearance were beginning to affect other parts of your life too. You couldn’t focus in class or in social activities anymore, because you felt like you weren’t good enough in anything.

Now, you were even beginning to feel like you weren’t good enough in your own relationship too. Kuroo was so cool, so intelligent, so confident… and you were just an awkward, scrawny introvert.

Basically, this was the exact opposite of him.

“Kuroo deserves way better than me…”

This was the thought that was running on repeat in your mind, as you slumped down on the couch in yours and his shared apartment. Your face was buried in your hands, as an even darker than usual cloud hung over your head today.

Kuroo didn’t know about any of this yet. He was always so upbeat and lively, and you didn’t want to put a damper on that with your trivial troubles.

This wasn’t all that possible for you at the moment, though. The concerns about you and your usefulness to Kuroo only got worse. Since this could affect your relationship, maybe now was finally the time to come clean to him.

“He’s always so carefree… He’ll know what to do, and maybe I won’t have to worry anymore…”

You were still anxious about telling him as you waited for him to come home from volleyball practice, but at the same time, you were confident that he could lighten your mood.

As a result, your eyes remained fixed on that door in a desperate anticipation. You didn’t even turn on the TV or browse through your phone to kill time until he came back like you usually did.

You needed Kuroo. In fact, today was probably the day you needed him the most.

When the door finally did swing open, your expression brightened a little. You were still shaking from the anxiety, but you were relieved that he was here at last.

“Baby, you’re home!” You jumped up to greet him.

Kuroo, on the other hand, didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic. He wore his towel around the back of his neck, dripping sweat with an exhausted expression on his face.

This made sense for him. He didn’t like to show it to others, but you knew that he could get really wiped out when practices got intense.

Still, you knew that this was urgent, so you hoped to get his attention nonetheless.

“Practice was rough today, huh?”

“Hm, yeah. Definitely.” He nodded in agreement, but still didn’t make eye contact with you.

“How are the others?” Kuroo loved to crack jokes about his teammates, so you thought that this might snap him out of it.

“They’re alright. Annoying and chaotic as ever.” He still completely ignored you and brushed you off, and began to trudge off to the room that you two slept together in.

Your heart was beating fast under the weight of your feelings, so as much as you wanted to let him rest, you needed to talk to him. Therefore, you ran after him to make him talk to you.

“Hey, is something wrong?” You said this in a caring and concerned voice. He did seem really, really tired, but he usually wasn’t this low on energy. Despite everything you were going through, you also wanted to be there to listen to him if something was wrong.

What Kuroo said next, however, was something that made your face drop.

“Nothing’s wrong! I don’t need to be interrogated right now, love. Just leave me alone, ugh.”

Now, this sounded much more like he was annoyed with you rather than just being tired. You hadn’t meant to ‘interrogate’ him, you just wanted to know about his day.

He never reacted this badly before. Something was definitely on his mind, and you had the feeling that it had more to do with you than with volleyball.

“I’m really sorry… It’s just, I needed to talk with you about something.” You squeaked out in a lower tone, now becoming increasingly afraid of what his reaction would be.

“Fine, but make it quick, I have other things to do… Come to think of it, what is the matter with you today?”

Unlike you, his tone wasn’t filled with nearly as much care. It was like talking to you was a chore that he had no choice but to complete.

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to pour out your heart into words.

“It’s just that I don’t feel good enough… I don’t feel pretty enough, my personality isn’t good enough… And now I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” By the time you finished, your breath was shaky and uneven.

You still had some slight hope that this would make him soften up, but unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the case.

“What’s with all this sappy stuff? Jeez, you’re acting crazy! You used to not give a shit…” He was massaging his forehead in a way that was intentional, making it clear to you that you were the one giving him that headache.

“No… That’s because I was just hiding it from you…”

“Well, what do you expect me to do about it?”

His tone was becoming harsher and harsher, while yours became softer and softer. This sudden change was literally taking your breath away, and not in a good way.

“Um… you are my boyfriend…” You looked up at him with eyes gone wide with fear, shame, and embarrassment.

This gaze only exacerbated Kuroo’s annoyance. He rolled his eyes, and moved his lips silently in a way that was mocking the way you spoke.

“Yeah, I’m your boyfriend, not your goddamn therapist.”

This was the final nail in your heart, shattering it into pieces. The carefree, lighthearted Kuroo that you had fallen in love with just wasn’t that same person anymore. As you realised this, tears began to sting at the corners of your eyes.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. At least answer the question, please… Am I good enough for you, Kuroo? I’m so sorry…” 

At this point, your voice was barely audible. You hardly knew what to say. Everything that you thought you knew about Kuroo was changing so quickly.

He had begun to turn around and go to the bedroom anyway, but at these words, he stopped in his tracks. He stood there like that for a few seconds, and you saw his hands clench into fists. The rising and falling in his chest became more ragged, as his breaths filled with negative emotions.

Every second that he was still made the dread inside you grow, but the face that you saw when he turned back around to face you suddenly and swiftly frightened you even more.

“I get home after a long day, and all you can do is cling to me like a fucking abandoned puppy. And instead of just letting me go like a sane person, all you say is ‘I’m sorry!’ It’s so goddamn corny and annoying… But you know what? I agree with what you said earlier. Maybe you really are not good enough for me.”

His fists balled tighter, as he screamed these words at the top of his lungs through clenched teeth. 

This new piercing volume sent the entire atmosphere around you two into utter silence. You couldn’t believe that this was real. It had to be a terrible nightmare, one that would end, and let you wake up to Kuroo cuddling beside you in the bed.

Yet, this wasn’t a nightmare. This was the reality of what Kuroo truly felt about you.

If your heart was shattered before, this made the pieces break even smaller and drop to the ground. As for your heartbeat, it felt as if it had stopped in your chest. Heck, time itself seemed to slow around you.

It was one thing to believe the worst about yourself, but having the one who’s supposed to love you the most say that those beliefs were correct all along made it feel like the world itself beneath you was giving out.

Your body wasn’t just trembling now, it was full on shaking. Your knees swayed back and forth, making you feel like a jelly that threatened to give way and drop to the floor any second now.

Your eyes that were now stuck open as wide as they could go couldn’t hold it back anymore, and silent tears rushed down your face. The shock was so intense that you couldn’t even make any noise with the crying. With all these tears, your throat began to burn.

“I have to say something, anything to make it better… It’s all my fault, I should fix this…”

You could hardly form thoughts like these, much less put them into words. Meanwhile, Kuroo kept his eyes fixated on you in pure disgust. He had a look on his face that made it seem like the fact that you were still in front of him was something that he absolutely loathed.

Whatever words did come to mind mostly stopped in your throat. Any noise that did come out was in the form of choked up croaks and squeaks.

Finally, somehow, actual words came out, only to be immediately cut off.

“Kuroo, I–“

“Just forget it already! If this is how you’re going to be, I can’t take it anymore! I’m fucking done with you. We’re over, now get out of my house, now!” 

You already thought that his voice couldn’t get any louder, but its magnitude just kept climbing and climbing until it got to a point where you felt that it could blow the roof off. His face was scrunched up in pure fury, and his eyes directed that rage into yours and straight into your soul.

Whatever he was feeling, Kuroo now seemed as if he had never loved you at all.

And just like that, a beautiful relationship that had lasted months, one that you hoped would stretch on for years to come vanished just like that. All your hopes about Kuroo disappeared into nothingness.

As reluctant as you were, you now accepted that what you had with him was gone, and couldn’t be fixed. 

However, more than that, you didn’t think it was even safe to be here anymore. Judging by his body language, his posture, his actions, and his words, standing there for even a few seconds longer would run the risk of Kuroo’s anger escalating towards physical violence.

Your knees gained just enough strength, and you bolted out the door in a fit of loud sobs.

When you were gone, Kuroo returned to normal and sighed, but not out of relief. He couldn’t pin it down exactly, but there was something gnawing inside him… He was observant enough that he knew deep inside that was guilt.

Still, even though he did know, he would never admit it. He wouldn’t admit it to himself, and definitely not to you. He couldn’t take back what he did, but either way, he most certainly wasn’t going to go running after you. Instead, he simply shook his head and wandered off inside the bedroom.

It was raining outside in the dark of night, and not just a light shower. Water rushed down from the dark clouds at high speeds, hitting the ground with incredible sound and force for such tiny droplets.

It didn’t take more than a few seconds for you to get soaking wet in these conditions, but you pushed through and kept running. You didn’t know where– it was late, and no one you knew would be willing to take you in at this hour.

You jumped down the stairs to the ground floor, but that was as far as you could get before your knees finally gave up and caused your body to collapse to the concrete pavement, getting scraped against its rough surface.

You were in an awkward position, but you didn’t care. You were cold, you were wet, but most importantly… you were alone.

At least there was a positive side to that. You curled up, now being free to sob out all the pain that had piled up on you out to the distance. Your face became a mess of tears and snot, as the uncertainty of the situation dawned upon you.

“I can’t sleep on the streets… I’ve already been a burden to everyone, but I have to find someone, anyone…”

You had absolutely nothing, except for the clothes on your back and your phone in your pocket. Getting under the relative safety of a pillar, you decided to make use of that phone as you went through your contacts, pondering your slim set of options.

You remembered that there was one person who lived close enough to Kuroo, and this person was Kenma. Your fingers shook as you debated internally whether to press the call button or not. Kenma was the kind of person who was known for his preferences for being alone, and being sort of aloof towards others. 

It wasn’t likely that he would take you in, but the chance of him accepting was still there. At this point, you were ready to take any chance you got.

Trying not to drop your phone, you decided to take a risk and call Kenma. You put it on speaker and heard as the phone rang one time, two times…

Your phone provider would automatically drop a call if there wasn’t an answer by the fifth ring. The device’s battery was quite low as well, so if Kenma did not pick up, you truly would be stranded.

And so, you sat there awaiting your fate. Each ring, although lasting only a few seconds, stretched out for an eternity.

Would Kenma pick up? Would he not pick up?

Whichever one of the two happened, the little flame of hope left in your heart lay in his place… any place that was away from Kuroo.

“It really did turn out to be the person I loved most who ended up hurting me the deepest…” You thought alone to yourself, waiting as the phone rang and rang into the distance…

[brideofhantengu]

Gyokko/Managi + Hantengu fluffy smut fic: insecurities

(fanfic cover drawn by moi)

Hantengu suddenly broke his kiss with Gyokko and pulled away. "Baby?" Gyokko asked with a breathy sigh, "did I do something wrong?" Hantengu's eyes focused downward as he shifted himself to the side of the bed and sat with a defeated posture. "Han, I'm getting worried." Gyokko sat up with a concerned expression for his boyfriend. Hantengu took a deep breath and sighed, fixing his eyes at the tossed kimonos on the floor. "I'm just going through a lot right now." "Oh," Gyokko raised his fingers to his lip and loosened his gaze as a mix of complex emotions ran through his head. 'Is he no longer interested in me? Is there someone else?' but Gyokko corrected his paranoid thoughts to stay positive, convincing himself it was only one of Hantengu's mood swings. "None of that," Hantengu replied "it's... It's not you, it's..." Hantengu dug his pointy elbows into his legs and buried his face in his hands. "I feel like I'm not... good enough." Gyokko gasped and jolted at Hantengu's self-deprecating words, reaching his hand out. "Do I have permission to touch you?" Gyokko asked lovingly. "Yeah, fine, whatever," Hantengu's voice was quivering and muffled. Gyokko leaned forward, "You're perfect for me, and that is all that matters. Everything you do is good enough. Honestly, I've never been happier, Han." Gyokko placed a hand on Hantengu's emaciated back and rubbed softly and slowly, speaking in a consoling and loving tone. Hantengu moved his hands from his face to release an aggravated sigh; "it's not even about our relationship, don't get me wrong, I'm happy with you, Gyokko, but..."

"But?" Gyokko was getting worried.

"But I feel like something's missing."

"Missing...?" Gyokko cocked his head to the side, confused at his lovers claims. Gyokko was more than delighted to spend all the time in the world with Hantengu. Hantengu was everything to Gyokko, and whether or not Hantengu wanted to admit it due to his antisocial nature, he adored Gyokko's attention and compassion. Hantengu's cheeks became flushed as he pulled the blanket over his thighs, covering up his manhood. Gyokko noticed the gesture and took a deep breath before speaking. "Han... This isn't about the sex, is it?"

Hantengu bashfully turned his head even further away from Gyokko's gaze. "Oh my go-, Han," Gyokko pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, "I knew it. I KNEW there was an issue, I just didn't know what to say." Sounding insensitive was not Gyokko's intention and he loved Hantengu enough to give him patience to voice whatever he felt at his own pace and comfort. However, Gyokko was a perfectionist who put a LOT of time, effort and detail into both his artwork and his relationship with Hantengu. Whenever something was wrong, Gyokko was front and center for Hantengu to vent to, but Hantengu often bottled things up and let them spill out at the worst times possible. Hantengu bit his lip, "I feel like I'm not everything you need me to be. I have this house with you and this life with you and I feel this need to give it my all but sometimes I just can't. You need someone who is more capable than I am, someone less pitiful and weak!" Hantengu began to cry as Gyokko groaned in empathy, embracing Hantengu. "Listen... I love you. Ok? This is our home. Home is where we have each other and that could be anywhere, even in hell. And trust me, you're FAR more than capable. You're strong, you're intelligent, a bit of a nervous wreck, but..." The men laughed together as Hantengu raised his head and sniffed. "R-really?" "Yes, I mean it when I tell you I love you, Hantengu. I'm a man of my word, you should know that by now."

Hantengu laid his balding head into Gyokko's chest and closed his eyes. "And," Gyokko played with Hantengu's remaining hair, "I love our sex. You're everything I could ask for in a man. And if one day, we can't fuck anymore for whatever reason, I'll still find satisfaction just by simply being by your side." Gyokko took Hantengu's hands, holding them close to him. "If these beautiful hands of yours are to blame, blame them for the crime of letting go of mine." Tears dropped from Hantengu's widened eyes as he blinked, gazing into Gyokko's as they leaned into each other slowly, an intoxicating romantic haze engulfing them as they prepared to kiss. Hantengu's thin, dry lips opened slightly onto Gyokko's soft, full lips and they pressed delicately, pulling away with a quiet squeak. Their kiss felt like a million years comfortably floating on cotton candy clouds surrounded by constellations and sweetly scented blooming flowers. After a slow and precious make-out session, Gyokko laid down and held Hantengu in his arms, pulling the cool sheet over him. I just, wanna take things gentle for a while. More than usual." Hantengu requested as he looked up, biting his own finger tip and resting on Gyokko's muscular form. Gyokko's masculine voice was sleepy and husky as he acknowledged Hantengu's request, "Yeah... no, yeah, baby, we can definitely do that," and pressed a kiss on Hantengu's head. "Gyokko, can... Um... Can you...call me... Baby boy? Just, sometimes. Not all the time. Just... Just at... Times like these, maybe?" "Like, aftercare?" "No, no, just... When you're holding me like this." Gyokko smiled warmly at the bashful Hantengu, "Of course. Baby boy."

Hantengu smiled as he wrapped his arms around Gyokko's muscular one, bulky and huge compared to Hantengu's bony wrists. Gyokko hummed as he felt the tightness of Hantengu's grip, "you like that? Baby boy?" Hantengu lifted his leg to place it around Gyokko but noticed Gyokko's penis had become stiff again. "Gyokko..." Hantengu said in a sultry tone. Gyokko put his arms behind his head and cockily smirked while looking down at Hantengu, "Ah, don't mind me. It's just the sight of you all needy for me got me going. We don't have to do anything, though, we can rest." Hantengu noticed Gyokko's strong jaw and followed his jawline with his eyes down to his throat, over his Adams apple, over his collar bones and straight down his pale chest. "Haha, see something you like?" Gyokko asked Hantengu. "Maybe." Hantengu traced a rugged ringer around Gyokko's nipple, hardening it. Gyokko let out a moan and laid his head back as Hantengu moved himself gently forward, licking it in circular motions. Hantengu left kisses all down Gyokko's chest, forming occasional hickeys. Hantengu reached down to massage Gyokko's bulge over the sheet, but Gyokko stopped him. "I wanna make this about you, tonight." Hantengu nodded with an innocent expression, "Alright."

"alright, now, lay back. I promise, I'll be gentle." Hantengu trustfully obeyed Gyokko as he laid down, watching Gyokko carefully lick and kiss the tightly aged skin over Hantengu's exposed bones. Gyokko's fingertips danced over Hantengu's sides, causing him to giggle and moan. Gyokko kissed down Hantengu's stomach and once he reached his dark colored happy trail, he asked Hantengu's permission to go further. "Y-yes. Yes, please." Hantengu took the sheet in two fists and brought it to his face in embarrassment, biting down on it. Gyokko grazed a hand over the black pubic hair Hantengu possessed and carefully removed the sheet from that section of his body, revealing his flaccid member. Gyokko lifted his soft limp dick and kissed his inner thighs. Gyokko sucked on one of his testicles and licked up his shaft, helping Hantengu form an erection. Gyokko began stroking Hantengu, watching the thin layer of skin rise over the velvety tip and back down. Gyokko pressed the tip of his tongue into Hantengu's frenulum, darting it around and moaning for added vibration. Hantengu panted and Gyokko began to suck. "Mmmm. Please," Hantengu took one of his hands off the sheet and put it on the back of Gyokko's head ever so gently. Gyokko loved the way Hantengu's caved in stomach began to rise up and down with his breaths. "You like that baby? Yeah?" Gyokko pulled away for a moment to speak before going back in and slurping Hantengu's salty skin back into his mouth. "That good? Huh? That good, baby boy?" Hantengu let out a quiet groan, releasing his hand from Gyokko's head and gripped the sheet at both of his sides and in a loving and caring manned he warned Gyokko "I-I'm go- I'm gonna cum, okay?"

Gyokko nodded and smiled with admiration in his eyes as he continued his sucks, watching Hantengu's pleasure. "Mmm, fuck, that's it. That's it. Fuck. Ohhh, fuck fuck fuck that's it, baby. Swallow my cum. Swallow my cum. Mmmmyes. Aghhh. Ffffuuuuck. Ahhh. Yessss..." A stream of hot seed shot into the back of Gyokko's throat as he swallowed hard. Gyokko opened his mouth to prove it to Hantengu, and brought himself up to lay nuzzle Hantengu. Hantengu's eyes were already closing with sleepiness. He cracked a smile at Gyokko and wrapped his arm around him, holding him tight. Gyokko giggled, "you're so different when you cum. I dunno, you're like, so manly and stuff. I like it. I mean I like you when you're in small mode, too, but I like this-" and suddenly he was interrupted by Hantengu snoring like the old grandpa he might as well have been. Gyokko smiled and closed his eyes, burying himself warmly into Hantengu. "Sleep well, old man... Baby boy... Don't matter. My sweet love."

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Trouble with Inventing a Viscount

4/5. Releases 9/24/24.

Vibes: cat and mouse, con artistry, heroine stomping her foot and going "ERRRGH" while the hero smirks

Heat Index: 6/10

Honoria Hartley doesn't want to marry--and that doesn't seem to be an issue, as she's been betrothed since childhood to the long-lost Viscount Vandemere. The last thing she expects is Vandemere showing up on her dootstep; and it's much worse than that. The man claiming to be the viscount is Oscar Flint, a con artist Honoria had a run-in with a year before (she probably shouldn't have told him about the missing viscount). She's determined to avoid marrying him--he's determined to pull off a con with his life on the line. Now, if they can only stop kissing...

One of the best things about Vivienne Lorret is her sense of humor as a writer, and this book is a perfect example of that. From the very beginning, you have this snarky interplay between the truly bratty (in the best way) and headstrong Honoria and the very smarmy yet very charming Oscar. It feels kind of like a screwball comedy, with the two of them--especially Honoria--going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to one-up each other. I'm talking like... disguises. Eyepatches. Honoria comes from a theatrical family, and Lorret takes full advantage of that.

It is a little cluttered at points, if I'm being honest--we have not only Honoria and Oscar falling in love and digging at each other, but an entire family attempting to get rid of Oscar. However, there's such a charming chemistry between the two of them--and so many hilarious moments--I could forgive a little plot lagging here and there. I wouldn't call this enemies to lovers, but it's definitely rivals to lovers, and if you're down with that... this is for you.

Quick Takes:

--I'm so used to romance novels starring plain heroines or heroines who are pretty and just don't realize it... Honoria is super pretty and very much realizes it. Oscar first meets her in total disguise (Honoria loves a disguise) and his dismay at realizing that she is in fact, just as pretty as she claimed to be, is excellent content. If only she wasn't hot!

Genuinely, the characterization of Oscar and Honoria is the best part of the book. They're both kind of disasters, and they act absolutely ridiculous over each other. It's just a lot of fun.

--At the same time, the stakes are fairly high. Lorret balances that tone with her turn of phrase, but she doesn't totally abandon the touches of darkness the plot necessitates. I mean, there is very much an executioner's bland hanging over Oscar's neck for a lot of this book. But he's so wry and clever that you don't always remember that. It's not a bad thing--the opposite, actually.

--It's honestly kind of nice to see a plot that's really zany, even if I think the pacing between the lovers could've been a bit faster. This reminds me a little of older historicals. You definitely feel the big swings coming, and I appreciate that.

--I love the Hartley family. So fun to read a historical in which the parents are into each other and the mom in particular is such a romantic. A romantic who wants her daughter to realize how important it is to get yours!

--I can't get into one thread that I was excited about... which turn out to not be that. It did make me wish that we saw more historical heroines who aren't particularly into the idea of having babies.

The Sex:

There are about 3.5-ish sex scenes, two of which sort of run into each other. They're all well-done and hot, though I think we definitely could've gotten a little more creative. But in my opinion, the hottest scene of the book is actually a RIDICULOUS picnic that has some of the most insane erotic eating content I've ever read. I was laughing, but at the same it was like... YES?

A con artist romcom is always fun, and this is no exception. Pick it up when you're in the mood for a romp, especially if you like the idea of heroines just! Not! Wanting! To admit! They're into someone!

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my won.

[sketch-guardian]

I might do asks publically now that I feel a lil more comfortable using tumblr but I also might use anon since it’s Less scary so this is kinda like a test for the moment!! :))

Is it okay if I ask for the classmates (old and new) with a mate who they find out is like a prince or princess later on in the year?? I don’t know the gender neutral name for it other than monarch which seems very vague.

Aw don't worry, do what makes you feel most comfortable, either way is okay☺Your ask is perfectly fine✨I'll do my best to write some good headcanons💕(I don't the neutral term either honestly😖but at most we can say MC is part of royalty🤷🏻Also, I apologize if I didn't reply immediately🙈):

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A ROYAL MC"

DEMYA

Demya was born into a tribe of bloodthirsty demons with cannibalistic tendencies and now she's the last still alive of that lineage, having been driven to extinction. Demya wouldn't know if she could be considered a specimen of an endangered species or even a princess of a lost kingdom, either way she would still find herself fantasizing every now and then. Demya would probably be a bad influence for royal MC, especially for their etiquette, in fact she would enjoy being rebellious and breaking certain rules together with royal MC. Demya would notice that royal MC has obvious advantages over others, especially on Earth, regarding privileges or favors, she would especially appreciate the delicious food they can afford and would ask if going to restaurants and showing off as a couple would get them a discount (no, she's not taking advantage of their status, she would do it even with a non-royal MC, maybe pretending that it's their birthday or that they're getting married just to get a free dessert, she's a menace after all-). In general Demya isn't used to luxury or being spoiled, however she wouldn't mind being doted on by a royal MC

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra has never shown too much interest in wealth or anything similar, he's used to a fairly simple life and when he was a warrior angel before his fall from the Celestial Realm, he was more used to following orders rather than issuing them, however he could not deny that more money would certainly be useful to him. Domnra would be stunned the first time he found out about MC's royal status and flabbergasted he wouldn't be able to stop himself from calling royal MC quite a dumbass, because of all the people they could have had or chosen, they chose him, terrible taste in his opinion (self loathing much?). Domnra would be pretty sure that his demon nature and thuggish attitude wouldn't do much for MC's royal reputation, he can only imagine if anyone found out, but he would appreciate royal MC's willingness to take risks for their relationship. Domnra would not be the type to let royal MC spend a lot of money despite their availability, in fact exasperated he would scold royal MC for spoiling Mobim with lots of toys and cutesy clothes, even a small crown to make the little curse feel important

AZUL

Azul, despite his occasional mood swings, lives his life quite philosophically, lightly, so while he would be surprised at first by MC's royal status, their relationship wouldn't change much aside from a few jokes or humorous requests. For example, every now and then Azul would pretend to behave like royal MC's personal butler, imitating Barbatos, for shits and giggles, or he would ask royal MC if he could come to Earth one day to haunt their castle or mansion, because it would be hilarious to terrify visitors, he would then sulk at his request being denied. Either way, Azul would become royal MC's personal artist and make paintings to hang in their home or even sculpt statues of their image in all their glory, he would be honored to be able to immortalize his lovely star. Azul would also be charming enough to sway the attention of media from royal MC, if they needed a break from duties and expectations, his magic would come in handy too

ZURI

Zuri was used to noble treatment when she was still an angel, however it wasn't a life that suited her, she felt almost hollow in that period, because the admiration received was not due to her merits, but to the role she filled. Currently, as a demon, her reputation has been earned through her efforts and work, so Zuri feels more accomplished and proud of her position. Zuri would perceive MC's royal status rather quickly, even before their confession, especially due to their manners and etiquette, which would result obvious to her. Zuri would prefer to be seen as an equal by royal MC as she would do the same, also thanks to her bearing, Zuri would make royal MC look good if seen in public by paparazzi. Given her rather refined tastes, Zuri and royal MC, at a ball or at a Lord Diavolo's event, would draw everyone's attention with their best clothes and jewels, arousing admiration and envy, not that the couple would take any notice, as they would only focus on themselves. Royal MC might even be tempted to call Zuri a queen, while she would softly scoff with a subtle amused smile. Also, Zuri would offer to become like a sort of seamstress for royal MC, should they need one

ODON

Odon, as an eldritch horror, has not experienced what people would call luxury, they don't exactly have needs to satisfy in order to survive to begin with, so all activities Odon would try to do, would be simply for the pleasure of experiencing new things. Furthermore, in the past, when Odon was young and essentially devoid of any kind of empathy or emotion, they lived in a dark and damp cave, where they could shift into their true eldritch abomination form undisturbed. After their change of ways, Odon has moved to a wooden cabin in the outskirts of Devildom, near the woods, it would almost resemble a haunted house, but it's cozy and the only thing haunting that place would be Odon. Odon would find the idea of royal MC wanting to be with a demon like him rather curious and endearing, a love story between a monarch and an eldritch horror would certainly be a tale worth telling, otherwise they would simply be content about being accepted for what they are and would do the same for royal MC. One of the advantages of being with royal MC for Odon would certainly be having access to the best tea around, especially green tea, as it's their favourite, while royal MC would be able to find rather ancient and rare books in Odon's possession, moreover they wouldn't need bodyguards thanks to Odon's eye-like creatures around, royal MC wouldn't have to worry about being attacked, because any threat would disappear before they even realized it (don't ask what happens to those criminals-)

REMIEL

Remiel has lived for most of her youth in isolation, as her race, half-angel and half-nephilim, would be quite discriminated, so she may have some trouble understanding at first what royal MC means as they explain their lifestyle and status, however with a little help, she would be able to associate royal MC's status with high-ranking angels' one and consequently understand royal MC's situation a little better thanks to the practical example. Honestly, Remiel wouldn't mind MC's royalty, as she would love them either way, after all it was their pure bright soul that intrigued her in the first place, however Remiel would be curious to discover royal MC's personal experience, through stories and photos, the angel of death would also be interested in learning about their family tree, as hers is also peculiar, albeit for other reasons. Remiel would be confused but flattered by royal MC's thoughtfulness in providing her with a spring big enough for both preening and cleansing her wings, as the angel of death would need a large space to spread her wings, a simple tub wouldn't be sufficient and a huge bed would be ideal for resting, which royal MC would beg Remiel to do, since she would deserve it. Even experimenting with tailor-made clothes to leave room for her wings would be strange to Remiel, as she has always owned the same black robe, however it would be a nice new experience that she would enjoy. If royal MC's castle had a mausoleum, they might see Remiel perching on a high place, almost like a gargoyle, while watching over them

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel in the Celestial Realm is seen as a sort of advisor, a mentor that many turn to for advice or wisdom in times of need, it can be exhausting, especially for Nathaniel who isn't a talker, however at the end of the day, doing something good would be worth it and being of a high rank can come in handy when needed. Honestly, Nathaniel's reaction to finding out that MC is royalty would be a shrug, meaning he wouldn't care, not in an offensive way, it's just that he'd be fine with anything, ultimately he's chill like that. Their relationship wouldn't change that much, maybe Nathaniel and royal MC would see each other slightly less often due to their duties, however they would find moments to share together and spend alone, possibly in peace, for example spending a day sharing a picnic and then watching the sunset in the middle of nowhere, with the sound of water and animals in the background, then waiting to see some shooting stars. That would be a nice break from their busy schedules, although royal MC would be pretty sure that Nathaniel would be more busy staring at them with a dreamy gaze rather than at the view

URIEL

Uriel, as a warrior angel, is of a fairly high rank, but not enough to take irrevocable decisions or give certain orders, in fact she wouldn't be allowed to speak freely with the Celestial Realm council, she would first need permission or to be convened by the council itself. Uriel has never been interested in earthly politics or humans in general, so she would be a little perplexed by royal MC's kingship, but she would rightly guess that they would be in a position of power compared to others, a bit like the celestial hierarchy, a detail that would help Uriel understand royal MC's situation better. Uriel, though she wouldn't mention or admit it, would be honored to have been chosen by royal MC as a significant other, even though she would probably seem more like their royal guard in their company. Uriel would ask questions about how royal MC's family came to hold such a position in society and if there were ancient armors or weapons in their castle, Uriel would look at them in slight awe. If royal MC joked about a relationship between a monarch and their knight being a fairly recurring theme in romance, Uriel would say that their case is different and that it would be inappropriate anyway (royal MC must not be fooled, Uriel would blush under her wings-)

[simslegacy5083]

Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (8/28/2024) Episode: On Her Shoulders

Luigi’s reputation was critical to maintain his endorsement deals, buzz for his game, and of course his actual e-sports career, so he took it seriously.

One easy way to make others see him as a “good sim” was regular donations to charity.

He found worthy causes to associate his name with, such as Tess’s ex-boyfriend Julio’s “happiness for all” campaign and the Tomorang Renters Fund, which temporarily paid the rent for sims who were down on their luck so they wouldn’t get evicted and wind up homeless.

Luigi’s enterprising efforts were only possible by the grace of his rock-solid support system.

Now that it was her full-time job, Noemi had taken over the lion’s share of management and development for Project Daisy, in addition to being Skye’s primary caregiver. She’d never been the best at dealing with strangers, and lately organizing their staff of artists and programmers was wearing through her patience faster than it ever had before. It was a trial she could only bear by assigning herself chunks of relaxing code work between meetings.

The freedom to pick her own timelines and teammates was undeniably the part of being “lead programmer” that got her through all the rest, but her strange irritability remained a worrying mystery. Fortunately, at her annual GYN checkup, her doctor put her mind at ease with a simple explanation.

Noemi was officially going through “the change” and her issues were just temporary side effects of her body and mind adjusting to the perfectly normal and expected changes of leaving her child-bearing years (and hormones) behind.

Noemi was honestly relieved by her advancing age. She had never feared the idea of growing older and she and Luigi had long ago decided they were “one and done” in the kid department. If anything, saying goodbye to worries about a second unplanned pregnancy was a big win!

Her doctor warned her about other unpleasant symptoms that might pop up, but she was hardly listening as she gleefully composed emails pushing her most annoying issues back to Luigi.

“These hot flashes make me way too sweaty during the all-hands standup meeting. I’m going to need you to take those over.” … “Susan’s being a plumhole about revising the walk animations. Talk her around before I shiv her. Mood swings, you know.”

By the next time both sims had a day off, Noemi was feeling much more like herself, and they made some time to visit family.

Luigi and the relatives he was closest to had mostly ended up childless or with small families, but Chance and Bianca’s daughter Fern wanted a full house. When her third little one was born, she invited his family over to meet the new addition and hang out with the rest of her crew.

While the energetic Skye played outside with Fern’s doggie and the other kids, Luigi and Noemi headed in to say hello to little Alice. Noemi and Luigi had a great time holding the adorable tiny newborn and an even better time handing it back for a diaper change with big smiles. No more for them!

Even their next stop, seeing relatives at the wake for Denton’s mother Nikita, put no significant damper on Noemi’s improved mood.

She was, of course, sad for her friend’s loss, but the quiet atmosphere, surrounded by sims she knew well as her husband mixed drinks behind the bar, was as close to her ideal evening as was possible without a sturdy set of padded handcuffs.

She’d felt lonely and misunderstood as Kiana’s “too young” wife, but loving Luigi had brought her right into the heart of his warm family circle.

As Denton wept on her shoulder, she reflected on how happy she was to have given this strange family a second chance.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here