#Honestly I just felt like being mean
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altocat · 1 year ago
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Was there ever a time when Sephiroth came really close to something similar to the Nibelheim incident?
One incredibly insomniac evening, Sephiroth takes to wandering around the lower bowels of the science department. Since Hojo isn't awake at this time of night, Sephiroth supposes now would be an amazing time to go snooping for classified information, if only to satisfy a niggling bit of curiosity before it's time to sleep for real.
This innocent inquiry quickly spirals into full fledged agitation when he happens upon an old collection of experimental video logs, each tape depicting various trials, surgeries, and testing scenarios performed on a very special young boy. Unsettled, but hungry for potential answers, Sephiroth snatches the collection and retreats to his room to view the tapes, knowing full well that he might relive the trauma all over again but too invested in Hojo's private findings to stop himself.
It is worse than he remembered. Far, far worse. Seeing himself, so small, so frightened, is bad enough. Hearing Hojo's various anecdotes on just how unique and durable he is... it's a whole other level of disturbing. And yet Sephiroth watches everything, every violation, every brutal breaking of boundaries. There are even things he was not conscious for--intense dissections, methodical reconstruction, stitch by precious stitch. Watching his tiny fingers twitch on the gurney, watching the fragile rise and fall of his little chest. Sephiroth watches until his eyes burn, until the room around him begins to jerk and sway. He's sick. He cleans himself. He's sick again.
And he doesn't stop.
Angeal and Genesis come to collect him days later, nervous and uneasy at the sudden disappearance. Genesis would normally jump at the chance to rub it in Sephiroth's face that he's now on probation for so many absences...but this feels different, almost dangerous. The room is cold when they enter, finding Sephiroth pacing, the scattered line of tapes torn to plastic scraps at their feet. Sephiroth is wild-eyed, disheveled, muttering incoherent nonsense over and over again, scratching at his arms. He refuses to let them touch him, nearly ready to fight them if not for his evident exhaustion.
The sight of him like this is so incredibly abnormal that Angeal has to push Genesis out into the hall before he has a panic attack. Angeal manages to coax Sephiroth back to a feasible level of understanding, taking his arm and gently guiding him into the bathroom. Genesis anxiously hovers outside the door, listening to their muffled voices in the stillness. They remain there for a long time, the faucet occasionally running, Sephiroth's voice gradually easing back to its normal stoic calm. When they exit the bathroom, Angeal orders Genesis to help him guide Sephiroth along to the medical wing, the two friends neatly and efficiency prodding and coaxing Sephiroth step by step.
Sephiroth remains there for several weeks, his treatment classified behind closed doors. Angeal and Genesis hate the silence but continue to wait for him day after day. By the time Sephiroth is back on duty, he is more detached than ever, seemingly uninterested in his surroundings thanks to the steady supply of tranquilizers laid out for his private use for the next six months.
All remaining intact tapes are subsequently confiscated and destroyed.
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yyoati-cas · 5 days ago
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Guys I am going crazy a bit after the arcane act 3, but like I feel like it’s pretty heavily implied that Jayce and Viktor was something something… I know they’ve paralleled Mel and Viktor a lot before but they did it again in episode 7, VERY CLEARLY IN JAYCES MIND MIGHT I ADD. And the whole ending scene of Viktor and Jayce bro.
I feel like Jayce is very heavily implied to have feelings for Viktor and Mel that are very alike and I really don’t feel like I am reaching with that at all
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roots-symphony · 28 days ago
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do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#txt#i really liked the idea behind how the witches road came to be#like showing her and nicky coming up with the lyrics and everything#but i felt like there was a lot of these last two episodes that felt weird or jarring#i think that’s partly the fault of it being such a short run time for the whole show in general (tbh that’s probably like most of it)#but there were just also weird choices? idk#like jen’s big declaration about protecting them in honor of Lilia or w.e and then just.. flying off to nowhere??#or the way Both billy and agatha kept switching how they felt about each other with like every sentence#I did really like her thing where she helped him get tommy a body though#and her and rios vibes were off too. like it felt like there should have been a little more build up before they fought after the road?#like when they were still talking on the road it felt like they could have done more with it#just like jen getting her powers back could have been more#or billy standing up for agatha could have been more#billy’s homecoming and attempting to banish agatha too#I liked that his parents were there but it was so quick and then he just.. leaves again?? no problem?? and I guess they’re fine with it now#like it felt like the things they did well. they did really well#while everything else felt.. idk.. kinda flat?#which honestly was the same feeling I had after watching agatha’s trial episode#honestly this show need at least another 3 or 4 episodes if not more#and I know people are going to make this all about agatha and rio but i really don’t think that’s the issue#i do think the story could have benefited more from showing more of their actual backstory or a few more interactions with them or just#like i said earlier done more with what they had. again that scene on the road before rio dips could have been used way more effectively#and I don’t mean in like having them be soft or lovey like I know a lot of people wanted (never be against that) but I don’t think it was#needed.. but Something was??#i feel like overall what everyone went through on the road didn’t actually truly effect them or change them?#like jen left. agatha and rio were like back to liek the road never happened. everyone else but billy is dead#i think the only person who was truly changed was maybe billy?#which makes the whole journey feel so unsatisfying? like things could still have ended the same while still showing them changed? idk
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rokon24 · 5 days ago
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Guys I am going crazy a bit after the arcane act 3, but like I feel like it’s pretty heavily implied that Jayce and Viktor was something something… I know they’ve paralleled Mel and Viktor a lot before but they did it again in episode 7, VERY CLEARLY IN JAYCES MIND MIGHT I ADD. And the whole ending scene of Viktor and Jayce bro.
I feel like Jayce is very heavily implied to have feelings for Viktor and Mel that are very alike and I really don’t feel like I am reaching with that at all
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loderlied · 10 days ago
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i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao
#when i say that niles is the most envious creature i mean it#he’s watched a good handful of them become more successful with their music than he ever would be and felt that since he was basically the#reason for the success (not really. not like it’s everything it’s mostly luck but you have no real passion for this lol)#it would be fine if he had a piece of the cake too with future students. not like he immediately came to this conclusion#and felt not torn and no guilt over it.#took a while to rationalise it and all.#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time#it’s not like he believes he’s better than them he just wants people’s eyes and attention on him so unbelievably bad that’s what he believes#he deserves#and at some point(s) he feels so small that he will do shit like this. he would fake having a terminal illness too lol#he’s just a loser. niles’ story is supposed to be a horror comedy style thing and the majority of the comedy comes from that fact lol#oc: niles#honestly? can relate on the parts of being a loser who is only ever mediocre at something creative they do.#for me i don’t think it’s for the same reasons as niles especially don’t care about fame or shit like that lol#and i obviously don’t steal shit even if my ocd tells me the exact opposite so much#that i actually hesitated to post this because i thought people would assume that i steal too because he’s my character#and your ocs always have a part of yourself in them and what if people found out that i was stealing i just didn’t know and. hi.#can you tell that i’m a fear based writer. i write about my fears. hi#anyways. and then kingmaker and fae mpreg happens. yay
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aroaessidhe · 3 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Loudest Silence
YA contemporary
a newly Deaf-Hard of hearing girl moves across the country and starts a new school, struggling with navigating her disability and love for singing and lost friendships - determined to not make any new friends for the year she’s in Florida
and a boy struggling with family expectations and anxiety, after being made the fútbal captain even though he secretly ways to be on broadway, who quickly befriends her
bi & aroace-coded MCs
#The Loudest Silence#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#hm this was okay! it’s a sweet and light YA contemporary focusing on friendship and disability.#It’s a little cheesy; and I liked the immediate easy friendship (well; after a few false starts) and how welcoming Hayden's#friend group/family were. I like how they all jumped to learning/practicing ASL.#I liked how Casey was dealing with her newfound Deafness with a lot of positivity - the main frustrations being how other people treat her#but there’s also the underlying isolation and grief. At the same time it didn't go as deep as it could have with that?#The friendship is central to the story - but honestly I feel like Casey and Hayden’s relationship doesn’t develop past ‘they’re friends now#[continues other subplots] - it ends up being a bit telling not showing their friendship. And then she gets a love interest.#I feel like if you’re centering your book on being a platonic love story - rare in YA! - giving one a love interest kinda goes against#what’s supposed to be unique about it? Like it wasn’t overwhelming and I thought it was sweet actually; I just didn’t come here for that.#I always find it a little odd when YA contemporary books don’t explicitly name their aroace characters as aroace -#obviously I prefer an exploration of experiences to just using the word and nothing else; but in this genre; why not both?#considering various other identity labels are used and discussed there were various points where it felt like it was walking circles#around where it would be obvious to say “no I’m aroace” lmao?#And there’s a point where Casey mentions seeing an ace sticker on his guitar - the only reason it wasn’t an aroace sticker is bc#that would have ruined the minor subplot of her assuming he’s gay/dating his other friend. It felt like a slightly odd way to mention it?#but also I guess I appreciate it being evident throughout but also being a non-issue plot wise - while there’s a couple of moments#of people making romantic assumptions about them;for the most part it’s just treated normally for a boy & girl to be friends (as it should!#It does get points for mentioning people watching by conan grey LMAO (not that it really explores him feeling that way specifically;#but I mean same lol)#Overall plot-wise - there were kind of a lot of things going on and it petered out a bit? I wanted some more depth in some areas.#Also I feel like some of the references seemed out of date for current teens haha.#i do love the love for unusual pets (hairless cat and iguana)#aroace books#bisexual books
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fitpacs · 6 months ago
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<3
#i’m reflecting on yesterday rn#and i could honestly bawl my fucking eyes out because of the appreciation i feel from this community#if i may open up a little#i’ve always felt very isolated in life#both irl and online in communities i’ve always felt on the outskirts#never been anyone’s first second or third choice#and yesterday just made me feel the opposite#i’ve only been on qsmpblr since january and tk get the outpouring of love i received yesterday#it blows my fucking mind#if i’m being honest again i don’t feel like i deserve it#but regardless i am so fucking grateful to the people in this community - the strangers and the people i call friends alike#just thank you for making me feel valued and appreciated as a person#because i’ve not felt that for a very long time#and i’m just an anonymous person on the internet with a chay pfp#there’s nothing else identifiable about me#and yet people still give a shit? people went out of their way to wish me hbd and created things for me?#honestly i’m tearing up rn because of it#so just thank you - these things may just not even have crossed your mind as something special to have done#but to me they mean the entire fucking universe#so thank you from the bottom of my heart - i will never shut the fuck up about the love respect and appreciation i have for qsmpblr#because that’s all i’ve received in turn and i am still not used to that#i’ll shut up now but thank you again to absolutely everyone#if there is anything i can do to repay you for the endless kindness you show me please let me know
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liquidstar · 10 months ago
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wanted to post the royals and co. as a set for reference, though the only new things here are the king+queen and koe's updated design :p also most of them didn't get little infoboxes so those will be a first under the cut here ^_^
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Name: Andromeda (Andy)
Name origin: The Andromeda Galaxy, named for the mythical princess
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Heir apparent
Weapon: Flamberge (Same as her mom's)
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: She wants to go on adventures someday, and make a lot of friends, and be normal. So please drop the "Your highness" and call her Andy!
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Name: Cepheus
Name origin: The constellation Cepheus, the king
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 54
Title: King
Weapon: Scepter
Ethos (Power): Authority (The ability to control people’s actions through his words, but not their minds)
Flaw power is based on: His controlling and paranoid nature
Notes: He prefers not to use his ability unless it seems necessary, but ends will justify the means.
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Name: Cassiopeia
Name origin: The constellation Cassiopeia, the queen
Pronouns: She/her
Age: -
Title: Queen
Weapon: Flamberge
Ethos (Power): Alis (The ability to generate wings)
Flaw power is based on: Her overconfidence in her own abilities, ironically like a completely different winged mythological figure...
Notes: Before being the Queen, she was the Hero.
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Name: Koeia/Koe
Name origin: The star Koeia, whose name literally means "Star"
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Maid/Andromeda's lady in waiting
Weapon: Twin Sickles
Ethos (Power): Blessing (She can make others more powerful through cheering them on)
Flaw power is based on: Her Obsequiousness
Notes: She assures you her devotion to the princess is strictly for non-homosexual reasons
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Name: Perseus/Percy
Name origin: The constellation Perseus, the hero
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 21
Title: 1st Knight/Andromeda's personal guard
Weapon: Harpē sword
Ethos (Power): Divine swordstrike (An all-powerful swing of the sword with no limit)
Flaw power is based on: His incredible arrogance and show-offishness
Notes: He assures you that his showy devotion to the princess is as heterosexual as it seems. Also he's the cousin Io from Nova Stella
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Name: Ursa
Name origin: Ursa major, the big dipper.
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 38
Title: Major
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): Bear-handed (Her claws are unbreakable and can slice through any material)
Flaw power is based on: Her hyper-diligence. Her ruthless devotion and adherence. Literally nothing could ever stand in her way.
Notes: She’s the mama bear of Kochab (Ursa minor) from the timber scouts
#reason i wanted to change koe's design was bc i felt like the first one was a bit too basic ig?#wanted to give it more personality beyond being a maid outfit#so a funkier skirt and shorter sleeves and gloves and stuff. idk its more koe and less maid. but still maid#other than that obviously are the two wholly new characters#honestly designing them was interesting in a way bc it was like reverse engineering andys face#i think she takes after her mom more tho#but she also does try to emulate her so thats also part of it#honestly andy is really similar to amary in a lot of ways not just bc of the whole princess thing but the family dynamics to a degree too#there are still some pretty big differences (andy wasnt abused but her father is still really strict and constraining out of worry#and amary's mom was actually kinda the polar opposite of andy's and their emulations are completely different too)#BUT#look read cepheus's flaw. hes not going to be a good guy lol#hes the type that starts out nice enough on the surface but when pushed it will become. again. ends justify the means#very.... 'my way or the highway' type guy i guess. but with power#cassiopeia s more noble than that though despite any arrogance in her skills#its like one side of a balancing act lost#again look at her power. its wings! wings mean freedom! no restraint! touch the sky!#unfortunately kingdoms arent usually about that is the thing#maybe andy can fix it now though#but honestly andy percy and ursa are pretty much all just here for convenience#it wouldve been easier to have a ref post lumping all royals and andy's entourage together. and ursa i guess idk where else shed go lol#i thought abt putting her w the zodiac knights but their theme is too uniform. background color is the same tho so same affiliation#w the royals#also does anyone get my amazing joke. shes a major. major ursa. ursa major. i know i know#ill be here all week#finn's ocs#oc references#finn's art
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soukeyed · 11 months ago
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got so caught up in the euphoria of replaying sa2 and shadow05 that for a minute i lived in a world where his current character of just being a prick for no reason didnt exist
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boycottmakeup · 3 months ago
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...
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anotherqueersnailowner · 6 months ago
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screambirdscreaming · 5 months ago
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Not a coherent thesis here yet but I've been thinking lately about the dynamic of.... people who loved you unconditionally as a kid (or on the condition of being family, which is another weird dynamic) - but as you got older that became strained because you grew into someone they didn't expect and they realized that they did have conditions, actually.
I mean. There are people who had conditions all along, but just didn't mention them until you didn't meet them. And there's people who spent the whole time actively trying to mold you into someone who would meet their conditions.
But there's also people who truly didn't realize that you could grow up into someone that surprised them, that pushed their concepts of normal reasonable people. I think often because they themselves were constrained in their childhoods and mentally closed off whole worlds of options of ways people could be, without realizing it. So they thought kids just sort of naturally grew out of those sorts of quirks and eccentricities. Without realizing how much that dynamic was driven by active suppression, and how weird people could get if you just let them.
There's one such person in my life who has truly tried to grow and learn as this has come up, over and over again. And I really love and respect her for it, even if sometimes its a little exhausting to have to keep pushing at it. Keep explaining, and expanding, and not being hurt by her baseline of confusion that I'm still just.... not someone she knows how to expect. Even after all this time. But she does love me unconditionally. And for her that's the baseline, and she's willing to put in the work to expand her understanding of the world to know what it means to love me for who I am, even if it doesn't always come easily to her.
And then there's other people who run into this same tension and don't know what to do with it. They don't realize that loving you for who you are means putting in work to expand their concept of ways people can be. They don't try to overtly push you into not being like that but they keep holding out the expectation that you will, because how are they supposed to love you being like that? And of course as a kid, a teen, a young adult, you don't really have words for it either. You can feel the tension, the dissonance between the way they openly offer love to you that doesn't seem to fit, and the way they react to with confusion or distaste to parts of you that you can't change, or don't want to. Sometimes to things in yourself you can't even identify. So sometimes you make an effort to hide those things and act like they want. And sometimes you buckle down on being yourself. But neither approach really seems to fill the gap. You can't recieve affection and have it fit at the same time.
And eventually it just feels like you've sort of failed each other. By the time you have the words and self awareness to know what went wrong and where, it's too late to draw the chasm closed.
It's not too late to bridge it. But if we make this effort as adults, with the conditionality of adult relationships, you'll have to see me as I am and accept that - or be a stranger.
It's weird, to be like strangers with people who've known you your whole life.
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xproskeith · 21 days ago
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I swear to God if RFK comes in and feeds the anti Vax movement and actively tries to undo vaccination requirements and recommendations I will become openly insufferable to EVERYONE I know who is even remotely anti Vax.
I highly expect it from people I work with. I highly suspect it from my own family. This is absolutely the hill I will die on and I will gladly tell those people to fuck off.
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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months ago
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I really hate how twt makes it impossible to rly look back at your acct past a certain date. Like when I wanna re-live the glory days of some past fandom on tumblr, I can go back on my archive. On twitter? You're fucked imo.
Man, I just wanna look back at my acct to see the fanart I reblogged when some specific genshin pv came out, but it's basically impossible. It makes me wish I downloaded a lot more art/fanart in general, bcs its so hopeless atp :/
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 5 months ago
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Dorothy being assaulted at 17 and then trapped in a marriage for the next 38 years really makes the queer subtext heartbreaking rather than funny. It also adds a whole lot to how barbed she gets when they discuss her sex life and how vanilla it is or how little sex she had, no wonder it would be a sore subject (and no wonder its consistent that she had very little sex with Stan in her marriage and said she didn't enjoy it when they did).
Yep, that's part of the reason why I think that queer subtext is so insightful!
A queer reading of Dorothy is not necessary to understand the gravity of what happened to her, to be fair. Stan is very clearly depicted as a bad lover in general and an especially inattentive lover to her -- take eg what she says of him in S1E22 Job Hunting:
"It took three seconds. I wasn't sure that we had done anything, actually… until nine months later, when the baby came. Then I figured out that we had."
Which... doesn't seem like a great experience. Add onto it the fact that a) this is a recollection of her first time, b) she was coerced into performing the act either via emotional manipulation or alcohol/substances (as well detailed in this post by @eeblouissant), and c) her situation didn't improve at all during her marriage; if anything it got worse, since Stan was always out cheating on her -- no wonder she has a bad relationship with sex! Actually, I've said before that I think she has a remarkably open and healthy attitude towards sex, all things considered.
Thinking of Dorothy as queer (especially as a repressed lesbian) makes it all even more tragic, though. I think it's very likely, considering that she's a Catholic of Italian origin, that she hadn't even realized she liked women by the time she got involved with Stan -- I myself reached that conclusion in my early 20s! However, by that time Dorothy was already married and a mother; can you imagine how painful the mere idea would have been, for her? Of course she'd never even consider it while still married to Stan, and she'd have a hard time coming to terms with it after her divorce. It adds a thick layer of suppression and self-sacrifice to her whole story that I think is very thematically appropriate for her character (and that personally destroys me lmao. I cannot think about it for too long or I'll cry my heart out).
I think her whole experience with Stan also justifies her enthusiasm for some of her lovers in the show, even in a queer reading. I mean -- after all that, her standards must be on the floor! The bar is so low, she's dancing the lambada with the devil! Even a modicum of attention to her needs would blow her mind, I think -- even if it didn't come from her preferred gender, and especially if she wasn't ready to confront the truth about her sexuality yet. A lifetime of suppression isn't easy to get over -- she'd probably blame her bad experience with sex during her marriage on Stan alone (instead of considering that maybe she'd rather not be with a man at all).
Sorry, anon -- you probably weren't expecting a ramble in response, haha! But yeah, you make a great point; reading Dorothy as queer adds even more depth to her character and greatly enhances the tragedy of her story.
(Just for the record -- I've never thought the queer reading of Dorothy was funny! Maybe I'm reading this wrong, I just wanted to clarify.)
#sometimes it hits me again that this poor woman had stan as her first and only lover for 38 years of her life and i just. good god.#i'd just like to give her a hug. is that too much to ask for?#still in s1e22 she also says that she didn't come during that first time (or after) bc 'it always seemed to happen before I was in the room#and i just... like it's played for laughs but that's such a tragic comment to me...#im not going to talk about all the hung ups she likely has about self-pleasure too but she MUST have some bc once again. italian catholic#honestly her love&sex life until she met the girls was just a nightmare.#i wonder how she felt being friends with jean. seeing her love women openly like that. did she wish she could be like her?#was she jealous and didn't know why? did she think 'oh i wish *i* was a lesbian so i could date girls instead of being stuck with stan'?#agh i just. i keep adding thoughts but the more i think about it the more tragic it becomes to me#this is also why ending the show with her in a relationship with (at least) one of the other girls would have worked so well!!!#her character arc is one of self-recognition and self-love. it's a journey towards happiness and self-expression#and that's already a queer narrative at its core#but imagine her going from 38 years with *stan* to openly understanding her sexuality and finding love when she didn't think it possible?#i mean -- the finale does this too and that's why it works well. it's a good finale!#but imagine how much *better* it would have been with a woman!! with (one of) her girls at that!!#with dorothy finally able to be free about herself!!!#AGH i love her SO MUCH!!!!#(i feel like ending the show with a queer relationship between the girls would have worked very well for blanche and/or rose too#but that's a whole other topic)#anyway thank you for the ask op! you're absolutely right!!#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak#ask
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natjennie · 11 months ago
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ousaugoahgh I love lou wilson so MUCH i want to be his friend so BAD.
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