#Holy shit i worked on something finally
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Awe yea~ Workin on this again :3 The two are separate but each can technically take a big full rest 'inside' the other, because the two entities are incredibly closely linked.
BoogeyNight AU~
Quick version, YN Picks up a little 'sun themed night light' cause they're an adult and still afraid of the dark, but they've also been constantly plagued by night terrors for as long as they can remember. There are reasons ™️ for this. BUT they bring the nightlight home, clean it up nicely, and go to bed.
Except it was a package deal. Sun, the nightlight half of this little protector doobly-do, is stronger in the daytime than night, and at night tends to stay in this little small portable form (can be larger during the day but there's rarely a need for it). Moon is the more 'muscle' side of the equation, thriving in the shadows the light Sun casts, he's a sort of boogeyman, though not a threat to the person they're protecting. His job is to 'take care' of the creatures and energies that cause bad dreams, stealing energy from the host and causing them harm. Which YN has… attracted a lot of. Like to a concerning degree. Mostly because of the location of the house they live in, a family estate(small) that has been witness to some Dark Shit ™️ .
For a while, it goes unnoticed that Sun and Moon exist at all, beyond one being a cute little night light. Though both exist at all times. (moon being small and mostly harmless during the daylight). Them staying hidden is kind of a serious matter, because the other powers of this world aren't supposed to be known by humans. But Sun and Moon can't seem to keep their habits of 'helping out' around the house hidden for too long, and one day they end up giving themselves away, thinking YN isn't paying attention while on the phone, and hear them sort of stage whisper to each other.
Shenanigans ensue.
#BoogeyNight AU#Nightlight Sun#Boogeyman Moon#Feral Scribbles#Holy shit i worked on something finally
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oh today was a TREAT! makeship drop + howdy ad, no work tomorrow, got free cake, new 911 season.. Yeehaw...
#I CANT WAIT TO SHEAR OFF THE BACK OF MY FLOOF#now that i wear a hair net... fuck it. BYE#the mullet era was good....#AND IT WILL RETURN. EVENTUALLY. MARK MY WORDS#BURY IT SHALLOW BECAUSE IT WILL BE BACK!#anyway i cant wait for my makeship stuff to arrive#i was Literally the other day researching how to make enamel pins so that i could make my own barnaby pin#yk with my own art ofc#AND THEN THIS HAPPENS? OH HAWYEE!#barnaby!!! on my Vest!!! holy shit!#i love enamel pins i love them so much#absolutely unprompted#gonna have some cake & gaze at my purchase confirmation email & enjoy this Brief Freedom#pros of working in a kitchen: so much free food#cons: i am actively losing my whimsical will#OHHHH I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THE NEW 911 SEASON THO#THEYRE BACK!!! THEYRE FINALLY BACK!#AND I SENSE THAT ABC HAS LET THE WRITERS/ACTORS OFF THEIR LEASH!#i still wanna finish my rewatch but babey if im good at anything its Bingeing#we are feelin Good tonight... might even have the energy to create something..#doodles perhaps... there is a certain wiggle i wanna scribble...
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[Image description: A digital drawing of Amanda Young from the Saw franchise. She's wearing her outfit from the third film, but has her hair from the first. She's wearing the reverse bear trap, which leaves only the top half of her face visible. Her eyes are open wide and staring directly at the viewer. Eyeliner runs down her cheeks. In one hand she holds overflowing needles which are falling from her loose grasp. In the other she has a tape recorder. Her arms are stiff, as if she's a posed mannequin. Bandages are wrapped around both of her wrists. These bandages, the tape recorder, the needles and the reverse bear trap are all coloured a bold light blue. Amanda is coloured bright white with grey shading, while the background is a darker grey. It also has a subtle spiral pattern to it.]
#amanda young#amanda young fanart#saw fanart#saw franchise#digital art#needle#needles#cant wait to watch the new one :D#this is actually something i made for a zine but it got rejected :(#oh well im gonna try to get in for their next edition so! looking forward to that <3#i am back at college now (in my last year D: ) and im gonna be a part of this exhibition (holy shit??) and also inktober next month so like#im v busy lol#though i have finally finished my first comic in ages !!#i will be posting it whenever my bestie watches the film its based on so she isnt spoiled 😔#i think u guys will like it!#and since im busy thisll be on the backburner for a while but im working on an even longer comic (🥳) based on an 80s horror movie#(ive posted art for it b4 so tbh u might be able to guess what it is...)#anyway!!!#amanda young yippee!!!#i really liked doing the limited colour palette on this :D and highlighting certain things!
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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oh my god college life
#peach stuff#i was supposed to work on my final project for my english class today and i didn’t#but i wrote a page and a half yesterday. gonna spend all of tomorrow workin. so . maybe it’ll be alright. who knows.#i have a full unit assignment due a few days after American thanksgiving that i haven’t started i don’t really know what’s going on there#presumably i’ll have that done by next monday#next friday i have my capstone (thesis? end of major project?) presentation that ive invited my family and my teacher that I’ve been#showdowing for the past year. as well as all of my professors. so presumably it has to be good#and good god all my shit is catching up to me. i don’t really have much of breaks. but i am taking breaks anyways to get drunk.#god . college life is so fucked up#go to college but also keep your expectations for it normal. you’re not going to do more#(unless you’re not for sure neurotypical in which case. have fun)#but if you’re neurotypical or undiagnosed. be sure to pack coping strategies or learn new ones#because holy fuck. goddamn. .i have not beeen doing well#anyways goodnight unless i say something else . in which case who gives a fuck.#just . don’t ever listen to me. that’s the lesson to be learned#goodnight
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Anytime I hang out with friends I tell myself “I’m going to be so productive when I get home” and every time the minute I get home I’m like “time for the fainting couch because I can no longer function”
#ramblings#I legit wonder if something is up with me just because shit wears me down so quickly now#(though let’s be real it’s probably the fact that I don’t get good sleep during the work week so I’m just exhausted the rest of the time)#but holy hell I’m so worn down right now and I was having a lovely time with friends#thank god I get to work from home tomorrow because my ceiling is finally being fixed
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Alright, fine. I get the appeal of hypnotism stuff..
#conepost#finally listened to something someone recommended to me a billion years ago#(you know who you are)#and it was definitely.... something#there was one point where i was like 'holy shit it's working! im entering a trance!' and of course that immediately took me back to square 1#i was just so surprised that it actually worked#i can never get my brain to calm down like that#even falling asleep is impossible for me lol#anyway im intrigued by what i have discovered.... this requires more testing.#not rn though i feel like i just got squeezed in one of those rollers they dry clothes in
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i am SO MAD right now that i didn't read Master and Commander until after i graduated college because i could have written the world's best paper comparing its themes of patriotism/nationalism, humor, and faith to those same themes in Napoleon of Notting Hill by Chesterton. That would have been the best fucking paper i ever wrote in my life. if i ever have the free time i might just write it anyway but i'm mostly mad that i won't get academic credit for it now
#it would have been the BEST fucking paper holy shit#i would almost certainly have gotten a B on it purely bc the person grading me hadn't read Master and Commander#i finally dug up my copy of napoleon of notting hill#ive been wanting to reread it ever since i finished master and commander back in november#i once wrote a paper comparing themes of madness in Moby Dick and The Joker (2019)#it was a terrible paper bc i had to shoehorn in a) unnecessary religious themes and b) fuckin Traherne#but i still think i was onto something there#i'd rewrite it but i don't think Joker is a good enough movie to merit the extra work lmao
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how to fall asleep when ur younger cousin is asleep in the living room next to ur room and he won’t stop coughing every other minute and a half
#i’m going in fucking sane dude i can only hear him coughing and my uncle snoring#i have to be awake for work at 6:30🧍🏻#it’s 1:15 rn like cOMEO N#i’m going to smoke an entire bowl pack from my bong and i’m going to try to put on a youtube video of a box fan or something and pray#wish me luck guys !!! i’m sure gonna need it !!!!!!!#especially bc i’m still !!!!!!!!! from buying ptv tickets holy shit#can’t believe i’m gonna see my favoritest band in the world finally !!!! i’m so happy#good thing i took a nap earlier btw bc i’d be more upset i’m not already asleep rn
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I feel like something is really being lost in this insistence that everything within a medium (and even across mediums) should be treated as if they're equal in value or else you're being elitist
novels used to be seen as schlocky and low-culture and even morally dangerous, and now novels are arguably the most studied and examined form of literature-- that change is so interesting! way more interesting than trying to flatten the playing field and act like everything is equally valuable to begin with!
#personal#i don't think we should be reading naruto fanfics in schools bc english class in schools is for learning formal aspects of lit#which have been vetted and examined at large and the works being assigned in school teach you how to read other things#and teach you more about when and why those books were written#and none of my insistence on that is based on elitism bc like#i also think its super cool one of my art school classmates did a dbz fancomic as his final assignment bc holy shit#it was formally impressive and imaginative and it met all the technical criteria of the assignment and that itself says something!
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I just reada really good fic but halfway through I realized "oh shit this is really familiar.... didn't I write something like this once?" And as I kept reading I kept predicting what happened next and the further I went the more convinced I was that they'd ripped off my story-
like, copied the ENTIRE plot and re-written it, just better than I had? The characters were more fleshed-out than mine were, and the POV was more interesting, and the pace made more sense- but it was MY STORY?
So close to the end I was like "holy shit.. do I message them? Ask if my story inspired theirs? Should I be angry? Flattered?" Cause their tags and description didn't mention me AT ALL, which, sure, it's fanfiction to begin with, but if you're using my work than at least credit me as inspo, right? Just to be courteous?
But I get to the end of the final chapter, and it's not finished, and I'm kind of disappointed cause I never finished my story and I was really immersed in their version now and had been looking forwards to seeing how they tied up my loose ends- so I scroll to the bottom to leave a comment, and.
It's MY URL.
IT WAS MY STORY THE WHOLE TIME.
THE ONE *I WROTE*.
In *2013*.
And FORGOT ABOUT
BECAUSE I WAS SO INSECURE ABOUT MY SLOPPY, SHALLOW, AMETEUR WRITING
And I'm just sitting here now staring into space thinking about every shitty story I've ever written now like
IT WAS ALL GOOD?
IT WAS GOOD THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME??
I'M A GOOD WRITER?????
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KINGDOM OF ASH (by SJM)
Chapter 48
THE FAMILY REUINION🥹😆😭🫶& MY SOULLL
But when they reached Princess Hasar's battle tent, when they had all gathered around a map of Anielle, they had only a few minutes of discussion before they were interrupted. By the person Chaol least expected to walk through the flaps.
A moment later, Chaol was glad he was sitting down.
Nesryn breathed, "Holy gods."
Chaol was inclined to agree as Aelin Galathynius, Rowan Whitethorn, and several others entered the tent.
They were mud-splattered, the Queen of Terrasen's braided hair far longer than Chaol had last seen. And her eyes ... Not the soft, yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.
Chaol shot to his feet. "I thought you were in Terrasen," he blurted. All the reports had confirmed it. Yet here she stood, no army in sight.
Three Fae males-towering warriors as broad and muscled as Rowan—had entered, along with a delicate, dark-haired human woman.
But Aelin was only staring at him. Staring and staring at him.
No one spoke as tears began sliding down her face. Not at his being here, Chaol realized as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin.
But at him. Standing. Walking.
The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy and flung her arms around his neck. Pain lanced down his spine at the impact, but Chaol held her right back, every question fading from his tongue.
Aelin was shaking as she pulled away. "I knew you would," she breathed, gazing down his body, to his feet, then up again. "I knew you'd do it."
"Not alone," he said thickly. Chaol swallowed, releasing Aelin to extend an arm behind him. To the woman he knew stood there, a hand over the locket at her neck.
Perhaps Aelin would not remember, perhaps their encounter years ago had meant nothing to her at all, but Chaol drew Yrene forward. "Aelin, allow me to introduce"
"Yrene Towers," the queen breathed as his wife stepped to his side.
The two women stared at each other.
Yrene's mouth quivered as she opened the silver locket and pulled out a piece of paper. Hands trembling, she extended it to the queen. Aelin's own hands shook as she accepted the scrap.
"Thank you," Yrene whispered.
Chaol supposed it was all that really needed to be said.
Aelin unfolded the paper, reading the note she'd written, seeing the lines from the hundreds of foldings and rereadings these past few years.
"I went to the Torre," Yrene said, her voice cracking. "I took the money you gave me, and went to the Torre. And I became the heir apparent to the Healer on High. And now I have come back, to do what I can. I taught every healer I could the lessons you showed me that night, about self-defense. I didn't waste it-not a coin you gave me, or a moment of the time, the life you bought me." Tears were rolling and rolling down Yrene's face. "I didn't waste any of it."
Aelin closed her eyes, smiling through her own tears, and when she opened them, she took Yrene's shaking hands. "Now it is my turn to thank you." But Aelin's gaze fell upon the wedding band on Yrene's finger, and when she glanced to Chaol, he grinned.
"No longer Yrene Towers," Chaol said softly, "but Yrene Westfall."
Aelin let out one of those choked, joyous laughs, and Rowan stepped up to her side.
Yrene's head tilted back to take in the warrior's full height, her eyes widening-not only at Rowan's size, but at the pointed ears, the slightly elongated canines and tattoo. Aelin said, "Then let me introduce you, Lady Westfall, to my own husband, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius."
For that was indeed a wedding band on the queen's finger, the emerald mud-splattered but bright. On Rowan's own hand, a gold-and-ruby ring gleamed.
"My mate," Aelin added, fluttering her lashes at the Fae male. Rowan rolled his eyes, yet couldn't entirely contain his smile as he inclined his head to Yrene.
Yrene bowed, but Aelin snorted. "None of that, please. It'll go right to his immortal head." Her grin softened as Yrene blushed, and Aelin held up the scrap of paper. "May I keep this?" She eyed Yrene's locket. "Or does it go in there?"
Yrene folded the queen's fingers around the paper. "It is yours, as it always was. A piece of your bravery that helped me find my own."
Aelin shook her head, as if to dismiss the claim.
But Yrene squeezed Aelin's closed hand. "It gave me courage, the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled, every long hour I studied and worked, it gave me courage. I thank you for that, too."
Aelin swallowed hard, and Chaol took that as excuse enough to sit again, his back giving a grateful tinge. He said to the queen, "There is another person responsible for this army being here." He gestured to Nesryn, the woman already smiling at the queen. "The rukhin you see, the army gathered, is as much because of Nesryn as it is because of me."
A spark lit Aelin's eyes, and both women met halfway in a tight embrace. "I want to hear the entire story," Aelin said. "Every word of it." Nesryn's subdued smile widened. "So you shall. But later." Aelin clapped her on the shoulder and turned to the two royals still by the desk. Tall and regal, but as mud-splattered as the queen.
Chaol blurted, "Dorian?"
Rowan answered, "Not with us." He glanced to the royals.
"They know everything," Nesryn said
"He's with Manon," Aelin said simply.
Chaol wasn't entirely sure whether to be relieved. "Hunting for something important."
The keys. Holy gods.
Aelin nodded. Later. He'd think on where Dorian might now be later. Aelin nodded again. The full story would come then too.
Nesryn said, "May I present Princess Hasar and Prince Sartaq."
Aelin bowed—low. "You have my eternal gratitude," Aelin said, and the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen. Any shock Sartaq and Hasar had shown upon the queen bowing so low was hidden as they bowed back, the portrait of courtly grace.
"My father," Sartaq said, "remained in the khaganate to oversee our lands, along with our siblings Duva and Arghun. But my brother Kashin sails with the rest of the army. He was not two weeks behind us when we left."
Aelin glanced to Chaol, and he nodded.
Something glittered in her eyes at the confirmation, but the queen jerked her chin at Hasar. "Did you get my letter?"
The letter that Aelin had sent months ago, begging for aid and promising only a better world in return. Hasar picked at her nails. "Perhaps. I get far too many letters from fellow princesses these days to possibly remember or answer all of them."
Aelin smirked, as if the two of them spoke a language no one else could understand, a special code between two equally arrogant and proud women. But she motioned to her companions, who stepped forward. "Allow me to introduce my friends. Lord Gavriel, of Doranelle." A nod toward the tawny-eyed and golden-haired warrior who bowed.
Tattoos covered his neck, his hands, but his every motion was graceful. "My uncle, of sorts," Aelin added with a smirk at Gavriel. At Chaol's narrowed brows, she explained, "He's Aedion's father."
"Well, that explains a few things," Nesryn muttered.
The hair, the broad-planed face ... yes, it was the same. But where Aedion was fire, Gavriel seemed to be stone. Indeed, his eyes were solemn as he said, "Aedion is my pride." Emotion rippled over Aelin's face, but she gestured to the dark-haired male. Not someone Chaol ever wanted to tangle with, he decided as he surveyed the granite-hewn features, the black eyes and unsmiling mouth.
"Lorcan Salvaterre, formerly of Doranelle, and now a blood-sworn member of my court." As if that weren't a shock enough, Aelin winked at the imposing male. Lorcan scowled. "We're still in the adjustment period," she loudly whispered, and Yrene chuckled.
Lorcan Salvaterre. Chaol hadn't met the male this spring in Rifthold, but he'd heard all about him. That he'd been Maeve's most trusted commander, her most loyal and fierce warrior.
That he'd wanted to kill Aelin, hated Aelin.
How this had come about, why she was not in Terrasen with her army ... "You, too, have a tale to tell," Chaol said.
"Indeed I do." Aelin's eyes guttered, and Rowan put a hand on her lower back. Bad— something terrible had occurred. Chaol scanned Aelin for any hint of it. He stopped when he noticed the smoothness of the skin at her neck. The lack of scars. The missing scars on her hands, her palms. "Later," Aelin said softly. She straightened her shoulders, and another golden-haired male came forward. Beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. "Fenrys ... You know, I don't actually know your family name."
Fenrys threw a roguish wink at the queen.
"Moonbeam."
"It is not," Aelin hissed, choking on a laugh.
Fenrys laid a hand on his heart. "I am blood-sworn to you. Would I lie?"
Another blood-sworn Fae male in her court.
Across the tent, Sartaq cursed in his own tongue. As if he'd heard of Lorcan, and Gavriel, and Fenrys.
Aelin gave Fenrys a vulgar gesture that set Hasar chuckling, and faced the royals. "They're barely housebroken. Hardly fit for your fine company." Even Sartaq smiled at that. But it was to the small, delicate woman that Aelin now gestured. "And the only civilized member of my court, Lady Elide Lochan of Perranth." Perranth. Chaol had combed through the family trees of Terrasen just this winter, had seen the lists of so many royal households crossed out, victim to the conquest ten years ago.
Elide's name had been among them.
Another Terrasen royal who had managed to evade Adarlan's butchers.
The pretty young woman took a limping step forward, and bobbed a curtsy to the royals. Her boots concealed any sign of the source of the injury, but Yrene's attention shot right to her leg. Her ankle. "It's an honor to meet all of you," Elide said, her voice low and steady. Her dark eyes swept over them, cunning and clear. Like she could see beneath their skin and bones, to the souls beneath.
Aelin wiped her hands. "Well, that's over and done with," she announced, and strode to the desk and map. "Shall we discuss where you all plan to march once we beat the living shit out of this army?"
#NO SPOILERS PLEASE (though warning for the chapter in post & tags) this is my first read along with me & more reacts in tags etc#Chaorene Rowaelin Elorcan MOONBEAM this chapter has EVERYTHING so it needed its own post mark-if only it had Dorian than it would be PERFECT#A PROPER MAASVERSE REUINION-FULL CIRCLE-& me squealing in wivern happy in sappy like🥹 crying giggling & kicking my feet in excitement#Aelin Sardothien&HER CADRE/Court; her calling them all that — MOONBEAM finally lol how has this not come up or Lorcan tease or Rowan cheerin#she really nails these scenes-break my heart make my day-like QoS but ow&healingX100-my bbs are happy-TAB REFS-THE DYNAMICS-the wives meet!#Ivory horsehair for times of peace; the Ebony for times of war. — significance in tiny details-It was holy-the gold couch lol-SHES PREGGERS#To sit down even for a few minutes would be a blessed relief. — the difference from TOD - lol only Hasar could get interior design rn#to be the first piece of furniture in the home he'd build for his wife. For the child she carried.—shewastheoneheleastexpectedtoseeomg#holding hands even in blood-the ruler but wished to know-close to disaster-flood?that’s bad for fire/maybe she can steam-HOLY GODS INDEED#a moment later Chaol was glad he was sitting-as Aelin Galathynius Rowan Whitethorn and several others entered. Mud splattered. Too long hair#And her eyes ... Not the soft yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.-the young queens gaze again-but a queen nonetheless-HE STOOD#Not at his being here as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin But him Standing Walking-my soul needed this back-the core tale trio#The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy-broken but still joy-and flung her arms around his neck-the fact she wanted to hug him—#the ache & healing they both felt-but Chaol held her right back every question fading from his tongue.-Fire lance?-she’s shaking again#The way she gives him belief-then there she is-she remembered-her core-no one does anything alone-to say I’m happy for you & mean it vibes#hand over the locket-Yrene Towers the queen breathed as his wife stepped 2 his side The women stared at eachother-YRENE WESTFALL-notCelaena#I knew youd do it-goes both ways-Thank you-those words in this book-it was all that really needed to be said-smiling through tears#Aelin closed her eyes smiling through her own tears and when she opened them she took Yrene's shaking hands-choked joyous laughs-MY SOUL#Rowan stepped up to her side-Aelin said Lady Westfall my husband Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius-the my wife we deserved#emerald mud-splattered but bright-she sure got those emeralds dropping hints literally in EoS-pine green-Nesryn Aelin friendship core#My mate Aelin added fluttering her lashes Rowan rolled his eyes yet couldn't entirely contain his smile-next quote why I luv books/TOG#May I keep this?She eyed the locket.Or does it go in there?Its yours as it always was.A piece of ur bravery that helped me find my own#It gave me courage the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled every long hour I studied and worked it gave me courage. I thank you#A spark lit Aelins eyes&both women met halfway in a tight embrace I want to hear the entire story Aelin said Every word of it#They know everything-Ok WELL MANON lol-The keys Holy gods-the story would come then too-true queen-she bowed for them#the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen-THEY BOWED BACK-the portrait of courtly grace lol-the letter worked well#Aelin smirked as if the2of them spoke a language no one else could understand 2equally arrogant&proud women-hell yes I needed them#My friends-uncleLOL-my pride-AelinswinkLorcylol-how had this come about?-guttered-Rowan put a hand on her lower back Bad#gestureHasar😂-only civilized Lady Elides name had been crossed out-the1sthat escaped-CunningClear-she could see beneath to the soul#I am sworn2uWould I lie-cursedAs if he'd heard of LorcanGavrielFenrys-where to march once we beat the living shit out of this army-Vher
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Man high school was fucked up. You ever think about that. Thank fucking god I'm not in high school anymore
#Sorry I need to turn a distraction video on or smth because my mind came back to#The very first experience I had of high school#And like my father had just dropped me off right. Yknow. Big massive new place I hadn't been before#And we went into an assembly hall right and my father called me like 5 minutes after#My phone was on silent and I took it out of my pocket for what. 5 seconds to dismiss the call.#Yknow a call from my parent who probably just wanted to make sure I got in okay#And in that 5 seconds a teacher just came over and took the phone off me#And then later on in the assembly the speaker was like 'We have a strict phone policy.'#'You're not allowed to use them outside of break unless explicitly asked' and the fucking.#Teacher who practically snatched my damn phone of me was like#'I have caught 5 students on their phones already. This is unacceptable behaviour in high school and you should already know'#Like. Holy shit I got it out for 5 damn seconds to dismiss a call from a parent who just wanted to make sure I was okay :sob: I was 12 yknow#Just something so. Fucked up about that. That's not a fucking expectation in the real world#Yeah don't be distracted by your phone while doing work in class but it was nothing like that :sob:#I'm willing to bet that most of the people who got their phone confiscated in that assembly were of similar circumstances to me#Yknow. Worried parents who just dropped their 12 year old off to a big unfamiliar place for the first time calling#You could've taught that lesson in the classroom if someone was actually distracted on their phone. Come on now#What Is with some fucking primary school and high school teachers having absolute power trips over actual children#Awful. I was thinking about it because my younger sibling has just gone back school#And their in their last year of primary school and they where telling me about like all the bullshit they're pulling#And I guess I just. Worry a bit. Because high school is genuinely a little bit fucking traumatic#I tell them all the time that most of the rules they set up in primary school and high school are kinda bullshit anyways#And to follow them simply to not get in trouble. But don't let them dictate how you act forever#Because you go through the whole of high school being told what to do by people who usually view you as a lesser being to them#And then you get to college and everything changes and it's gonna be weird as fuck finally being viewed as an equal#...especially if you're like me and engrained rules way too seriously#Sorry this is breaking the no emotional posting after 10pm rule but I think I can stand by this one#Okay I've made 6 begillion grammar errors I'm on mobile I can't change em#To everyone currently in high school: please fucking survive. It get's better. I prommy you#android.txt
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i started writing this (properly, technically, since i wrote and deleted a lot) yesterday, save me.
#caiffee spills#i mean im glad im finally writing again dont get me wrong#but like at the same time it surprises me that i've fallen this deep in this fandom again#yes this is for mcd but its not the rewrite i wanna write#its something ive dubbed the lord laurance au for now#its the fun project i work on while rewatching mcd and gathering notes (and probably while working on worldbuilding)#this is also like 2 scenes that i want for the first chapter and i want like 4 in total for it#so im a little scared at how long this thing will actually be#like its supposed to be the *fun* fic not the “holy shit its so long” fic
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#ughh im going to watch house#to keep even a fraction of my will to live#but holy fucking shit how am i suppposed to live like this#and it doesnt even get better#well it does#but goddamn thats a lot of pain and hurt and fucking hell a year is too long to live like that#and im supposed to be okay and fine with it because...?#ugh. its like it gets better but kinda better in the sense that i have to live a Complicated Adult Life like most adults do#which fine. fair. but holy shit i wish there was soemthing better to live for sometiems#like this time of pain#and then another 5 years of working myself until im burnt through#and then finally at least leaving#like holy fuck surely if something cared itd be easier#you know what i wanna do like right now#a friend offered to get drunk with me in the park#i want to get wasted in the park have pizza go lie in the grass and deal with the consequences later#because fuck. even if im not doing anythign wrong even life is awful#i just want something to be better and somethign at least to let me live
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Anyways not to bring up my special little guy dick harden but he did summon a whole ass rainstorm onto an electrically charged mecha- had a rock hurled at him- almost died- and then realized that some people were about to introduce the boll weevil (which these ones are charged with ghost rock) to louisiana to destablize the confederacy, pointed out that the guy planning that might be tied to the reckoners, which means the gang might end up pissing off a third servitor while attempting to maintain a steady political ecosystem to prevent everyone from dying because one of the servitors we pissed off is gearing up for war and the other is straight up raising an army in transylvannia
#i also keep getting good grades in roleplaying something both normal to want and possible to achieve#he really went from a joke character to someone whos having to finally acknowledge and work through the trauma of his fathers death#and is having to confront the unfairness of how an ancestor centuries back doomed dicks father and his father before him and so on and so on#and is having to confront the unfairness that the manitous of his nightmares arent that way for everyone#that they are scared things and can be killed for at least a time#that he has people who care about him and dont want him to throw himself on the pyre for a chance at justice and revenge#the manitous are the monsters of his youth and the saviors of others and it isnt fair. his father died and it isnt fair. it broke him a#little bit and it isnt fair. he deserved better his father math deserved better maths father deserved better#the unbroken chain of father and son dying and dying before hitting 40#isnt fucking fair. for a harden huckster dick is past middle age.#and thats not fair.#he just wants to be good. to be someone his father would be proud of.#and math who taught dick so much of what dick knows will never be able to see it.#the sheer amount of emotional damage i have inflicted on myself is very much holy shit#my special little guy posts
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