#this is actually something i made for a zine but it got rejected :(

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital drawing of Amanda Young from the Saw franchise. She's wearing her outfit from the third film, but has her hair from the first. She's wearing the reverse bear trap, which leaves only the top half of her face visible. Her eyes are open wide and staring directly at the viewer. Eyeliner runs down her cheeks. In one hand she holds overflowing needles which are falling from her loose grasp. In the other she has a tape recorder. Her arms are stiff, as if she's a posed mannequin. Bandages are wrapped around both of her wrists. These bandages, the tape recorder, the needles and the reverse bear trap are all coloured a bold light blue. Amanda is coloured bright white with grey shading, while the background is a darker grey. It also has a subtle spiral pattern to it.]

[magnus-sm-writes]

My Writing Journey: Currently

After university, I took a really shitty office job I hated and wrote a lot of angsty poetry. Some of it got accepted. I wrote a short story, “The Ghost You Left Behind”, and it was published in the graveyard zine. I got a lot of tattoos. Like, a lot of tattoos. I got really depressed. I did a lot of worldbuilding for Uuve and began transplanting my D&D characters into it. I visited my partner’s family in Las Vegas. Your typical postgrad shuffle.

2022 was the best year for me in terms of publishing. I actually have not been published in a long time, due to hitting a wall when it came to motivation to seek out publishers. That does not mean that I have not been producing work, though.

Dare I say that 2023 was one of my best writing years yet. I was writing for multiple fantasy projects at once. This was when a lot of them began to take shape. Tsarevna of the Horned Crown, Greenest, Double-Trickery, Of Valor & Honor, and the entirety of my Dragonworld stories began to really bloom. My characters became far more vibrant than I first wrote them as. They seemed to breathe on the page. The bonds they formed with each other felt organic and real. They made problems and solved them. 

I worked at Starbucks and let my characters do their thing on the page. Writing fantasy was getting easier every day. 

And I was beginning to get really weird with my poetry. 

I love a weird poem. Love them. Solar Trauma is one of my favorite chapbooks ever written. Based on one of my favorite movies, The Thing, Solar Trauma actually inspired me to begin writing my own hivemind poetry. And it has been a love affair since then. I have actually submitted a few pieces for publication, which I am still waiting on answers for.

The most wild thing I did in 2023 was submit Body to a publisher for consideration.

Literally all year afterwards, I was checking my personal email non-stop. Every single day. I eagerly awaited a response.

That response was a rejection that came last month, but I am still amazed that I submitted Body at all. Yes, it gave me anxiety the entire time. So what? I still did it. I’m becoming more confident in sending my works to publishers, and that’s a huge accomplishment for the neurotic mess that is me.

My partner and I left our city life to move in with my parents for financial reasons, and shockingly, I have become even more productive with my writing since then. It might be that I finally have set hours (my 40 hour work week is a blessing), or it might be that I’m not constantly stressed about money, but I have finally been able to write the weird shit I’ve been needing to get out of my system. 

I wrote several short stories in the tail end of 2023 and the beginning of 2024, as well as beginning to casually rewrite Hamish in February and even write a couple scenes of my Measure for Measure reimagining. 

Something I didn’t expect was that I began to keep a writing journal! I’ve always loved the thought of journaling, but never stuck with it. Something about it was difficult for me. Especially bullet journaling the way people online do it. I couldn’t keep up with all the pretty pages and keep it practical. Little did I know that, if I just changed the format to value function over form, I could be incredibly productive with one.

I’ve been tracking my word counts, the books I’ve read, the books I want to read, the poems and short stories I’ve written, poems that inspire me, my habits, and general goals for each month. It has been so incredibly helpful for keeping me on track. I made a post about it, and holy shit, if you’ve ever wanted to keep a writing journal, please let this be your sign. It’s been one of the best impulse decisions I’ve made in a while.

Currently, I’m going with the flow when it comes to my writing. Doing what comes to me. I’ve taken a marked interest in the Donner party (to the point where I got the year they were rescued tattooed on me), so I’m considering doing something with that. I also want to write some more about zombies, and to continue my casual Hamish rewrite. 

I think there are some fantastic things on the horizon for me. Not only has my writing grown in ten years; I have grown. I have become such a different person in all that time (thank fuck!), and I am so incredibly proud of how I’ve gotten better as a human being. I’m surrounding myself with people I love, doing things that make me happy (or at the very least improve my health/mental wellbeing). It’s been a fucking slog, and I’ve come out stronger.

Thank you everyone for coming along with me on my writing journey. If you have any questions you’d like me to answer, feel free to ask! This was a lot to get off my chest, and I’m feeling very nostalgic.

[wingsofimagery]

Seashells

㊊ Summary: Jyushi ran from Kuko's exorcism adventure and met a girl who calls him Kiddo. He's not very fond of the name but her request was a simple one he couldn't reject. ㊊ Characters: Aimono Jyushi, Original Female Character (unnamed), Harai Kuko, Amaguni Hitoya ㊊ Genre: General ㊊ Warnings: Mention of character death ㊊ Word Count: 2406 ㊊ A/N: I died... As per usual. I have something else coming up real soon too. I wrote this a while back for a zine application (in which I got into~ Please look forward to it!)

“I can’t do this! Noooooooo!!” Jyushi shouted as he ran out of the building.

Kuko had suggested they investigate this place where there a ghost was to be exercised. Jyushi, having been too spooked by the eeriness, ran off screaming on his own. Hitoya was not prepared for this and had lost sight of Jyushi by the time he chased after him. Kuko, who made it his mission to successfully take the haunting ghost to the afterlife, chose to stay back and furthered his search.

—

“Stupid Kuko-san. I don’t want to be here anymore… This is a scary place. Amanda, I’m afraid,” Jyushi muttered to himself while holding his pig plushie gingerly in his hands.

The tears collecting on the edge of his eyes slid down his cheeks. He kept them closed while he cried, sniffling every once in a while. Of all places to go, it had to be a haunted house. It was not even a theme park haunted attraction or anything created by living humans. An actual house haunted by an actual spirit of a dead person. Leave it to Kuko to play with his fears.

He did not notice the figure that wandered by nor did he realize the figure made a stop when she heard his cries. She walked up to him, squatting down to get closer to the crying teen.

“Are you lost, young one?”

Jyushi looked up with surprise plastered on his face. He had let out a yelp from the sudden interaction and his hands flew up to wave them away, Amanda clutched tightly in his hand. He did not know what he was doing but he was too spooked out to coherently think.

“Hey hey! Watch it! Your piggy is going to fly away! I won’t hurt you! Seriously, stop it!”

He finally stopped flinging his hands around, pausing mid-air to observe the stranger. She wore a dress, long enough to cover her feet. Her hair was half done up. From Jyushi’s observations, he noticed that…

“You’re not going to hurt me…”

“Correct, my child. Now tell me, what is wrong? Why are you in tears? Do I have to hurt someone?”

Jyushi did not answer her questions, instead, he spouted his own, “why are you calling me pet names like I’m an actual child? You look the same age as I do!”

“Looks can be deceiving. Don’t you know that?” She roared with laughter and gave his head a few pats.

“I ran from my friends. They were doing this expedition thing to exorcise some ghost. Said there was a haunting here, knowing fully well how I can’t handle the paranormal.”

She raised her eyebrow in interest. She could hear how exasperated Jyushi was.

“Well, I apologize. I can’t do much but I can tell you now, that you’re doing pretty good. The spirits won’t be messing with you tonight. Not while I’m around!”

Jyushi tilted his head to question her statement, “what do you mean?”

She merely smiled and offered her hand for him to take. Jyushi could tell that she was nice. She emitted a comforting aura; that was all he needed to trust her. He shyly placed his hand in her offering one. There was no warmth in her hands but he chalked it up to the decreasing temperature as night was cooler than day. There was also something else about her hand but he could not put his words to it. She stood up to her full height and the teen got up with her.

“Come on, buddy. Don’t slouch! Stand tall! You’re given your height for a reason!”

He quickly straightened his back, a chuckle escaped from his lips from her silliness. She knew how to bring the mood up. She was happy to see him lighten up a little as well.

He followed her on a walk. The breezy night on this hot day was welcomed. The walk was slow, not that Jyushi was complaining. Jyushi wanted to keep talking to her but he did not know how to start conversations, let alone hold a conversation with her. He opted to tug on Amanda in hopes of finding some extra comfort in her.

“So… I’m guessing you don’t want to return to your friends for the time being. Would you like to go to the nearby beach with me then? I have a task I need help with,” she smiled at him in hopes that he would accept the request.

He nodded his head, “Sure! I don’t know if I’ll be of much help though, but it’s better than being here alone.”

Her smile grew wider. She would not know what she would do if she could not convince him. She did not want to leave him there by himself. Grateful for his acceptance, she smiled even wider. Her steps were light as she hopped in front of him, looking back every once in a while to make sure he was following her and not straying away. The beach was not a long walk. Their quiet journey there was not awkward either. Jyushi does not usually warm up to people that quickly but with the light atmosphere she brought along with her, he felt the gloomy emotions disappear.

She stepped down onto the sand, turning around to spread her arms out. Jyushi stared at her in question. He stood close before her and awaited her instructions. She pointed to the seashells; some were completely intact, others were tarnished by nature and humans alike. She told Jyushi to pick up the cockleshell, informing him that she wanted shells that were pristine like this one.

“This shouldn't be hard but why are you not able to do this on your own?” he questioned. He meant no malice in his questions, he was simply confused. She was in perfect condition and nothing he saw physically looked like it could hinder her in any way.

She sheepishly looked away, “Well… My hands are unable to touch them. I can’t really explain it but I hope you understand… I really need your help.”

Jyushi knew he could not deny her request. He understood her nervousness, how some things could not be told, and he could tell she was being honest about it. He scratched the back of his head, nodding in reply as he knelt down to pick up the shell for her. She continued to instruct him on what to pick up and what to be careful of. As they moved around, stepped away, and stopped at multiple areas, Jyushi found his arms cradling a bit more than a handful of shells. He shuffled around to adjust them, careful not to drop any.

“Maybe we should stop now. Follow me!” she beckoned with her hand, walking ahead of him again.

He scrambled to his feet and brushed off the sand on his pants before he ran up to her. He followed her as an obedient pet would. Once again, the walk was quiet but this time, she began asking him questions.

“I never got your name, kiddo.”

“I’m not a kiddo. I look your age and you look my age,” he huffed, “and my name is Aimono Jyushi.”

“My apologies, Jyushi.”

He was about to ask for her name but their conversation was halted before he could talk again. They stood before a tombstone. There was a jar with some shells in there. It looked dusty and old. As if no one has been around to take care of the grave for years. Jyushi watched her squat down to caress the tombstone.

“This is the place. Could you replace the shells in this jar with the ones we picked?”

He immediately went to work on the request. The sadness she emitted made him feel compelled to help her even further. He made haste with exchanging the shells with the new ones. He also dusted off the jar with his sleeve. Once done, the jar sat back where it was, right in front of the tombstone to the right.

“You helped a lot; thank you for helping me out on my silly request.”

Jyushi shook his head as he nervously laughed. He did not understand why she was so happy about this. It was just a small task that anyone could have done. It was not like it was going to do him any harm. It also felt good to have been useful. Jyushi liked the feeling of being appreciated. He basked in the feeling with a smile.

“It seems it’s time for me to go,” she said, her eyes looking up at the sun that was slowly beginning to peek out from the horizon.

Jyushi looked over at her. He could see the sorrow in her eyes. They looked bittersweet. He wondered why but something else caught his attention instead. Her body looked translucent, the light from the rising sun made her look angelic. She looked nothing like a human would.

“Thank you so much for everything tonight. I can move on thanks to you now. Nobody really ever came around so I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait to finally be able to accomplish my last wish. I just wanted to be remembered one last time… Nobody seemed to care after my funeral,” she looked down bashfully, her fingers fiddling with a necklace out of nerves, “I can’t thank you enough, so please take this as a token of my appreciation.”

She placed the necklace with a closed fanshell in his hands. Jyushi stayed confused on the ground while she stood up. Her eyes closed as her body became more transparent. His eyes widened at how she was slowly disappearing before his eyes. The realization had dawned on him a little too late.

“I hope in my next life, I’ll find someone as kind and cute as you to live for,” she laughed.

He stood up in a panic. He never asked her for her name. He needed to know before she was gone. Was this her grave? Was she here to take care of another person’s grave but could not because she had passed away as well? There were so many questions that swirled around his mind, none of which were able to make it out of his mouth. Tears pooled at the corner of his eyes. Jyushi was overwhelmed by the turn of events.

His arm shot out to grab for her, “What’s your name?”

His limb phased through her. She was barely there anymore. Jyushi was speechless, gasping for air while hoping and praying that she would at least give her name to him before she left for good. The suspense was killing him. He also wanted to thank her for keeping him company. He would have been alone if it was not for her presence.

Her reply was only a tap on the shell necklace she had given him and, then, she was gone. He looked down at the necklace, debating on whether to open it or not. He was broken from his train of thoughts by Kuko and Hitoya who came searching for him.

“Man, you ran so far, Jyushi. What in the world did you think you were doing?” Kuko complained.

“We were worried. Are you hurt?” Hitoya stopped in front of him to take a once over Jyushi, who stood there with sadness in his eyes. His posture was slumped over while his hands clutched tightly to the fanshell.

“What are you holding there?” Kuko looked at the item with confusion. He was sure Jyushi did not have that when they first arrived here. Hitoya glanced over as well to have a look.

Jyushi opened the shell. In the trinket was a photo of a family of four. There stood the lady he met, a pair of older people (whom he assumed was her parents), and someone else who looked around the same age as her. On the other side of the shell was a name. The same one as the tombstone.

“She was the one I was here to exorcise!” Kuko exclaimed, “The villagers here told me about how restless she was and they didn’t know what to do with her. They knew she was supposed to have moved on. She sounded like something was preventing her from passing on from what they were telling me. How did you get this?”

The visual kei singer went on the spiel about his mini adventure with the girl in the photo. How it was a comforting experience and how he wished he could see her again in the future. His second wish, he knew, would not come true any time in the future but he held onto it. Kuko made a face after his explanation, his eyes darting to Hitoya with a knowing look.

Hitoya held his hand up to prevent Kuko from saying anything at all. The monk frowned upon that but allowed him to take care of it instead. He crossed his arms while watching the older man. He thought this was going to be amusing.

“Jyushi… the girl you were with was the one Kuko was assigned to exorcise. The people around this neighborhood knew her and wanted to help put her to rest but they didn’t know how to. So they enlisted Kuko to assist them in bringing her to the afterlife but I guess you did it instead.” Hitoya glanced carefully at Jyushi. He hoped that did not break the boy’s spirit.

It did not. Rather, he was smiling to himself while staring at the necklace. He finally gazed at Hitoya.

“I had a feeling… She felt cold and didn’t touch anything. I wonder why she was able to touch me though,” Jyushi looked at Kuko for an answer.

Kuko shrugged, “Beats me. Wish I could give you a proper answer but I got none.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore,” Jyushi replied, “she’s in a better place now. That’s all I could ask for. Although, I’ll miss her company. I’ve never felt something so comforting before.”

“Yeah, you don’t usually warm up to people quickly,” Hitoya also commented, having noticed how fondly Jyushi was speaking of this person whom he had just met.

The three wrapped up their conversion as they left the scene. Jyushi held the necklace close to him, as it was a memory of the nice moment they spent together. A moment he would never forget.

[quietnqueer]

Asexual Identities & Feminist Her-Stories

This is a blog for Ace Week 2020 @asexualawarenessweek​, inspired by this year’s theme: ‘Our History’.  

I recently came across this talk on You Tube: ‘Ace and Aro Zines as Community Building and History’ which was delivered by Olivia Montoya at the 2019 WorldPride Ace and Aro Conference. It’s a fascinating insight into the history of ace zines. What got me particularly excited though was when Olivia started showing quotes from feminist speeches and publications from as far back as the 1970s which mention asexuality; and Riot Grrrl zines from the ‘90s and early-2000s which also discussed ace-ness.

Coming across this talk has led me to take a look back at my own involvement with feminism and how it informed the way I thought about my sexuality, prior to realising I was asexual.

I was involved in feminist activism from 2005-2008-ish, when I was in my early/mid-twenties. I was of the feminist generation that protested ‘raunch culture’; the objectification of women and the marketing of Playboy pencil cases to pre-pubescent girls. The activism I was involved in was very much underpinned by radical feminist theory and ideas; including that of the ‘woman-identified woman’. The ‘woman-identified woman’ rejects sexual/romantic relationships with men and instead prioritises relationships with women; these relationships can be sexual, but they don’t have to be.

This concept of the woman-identified woman, along with the radical feminist critique of compulsory heterosexuality, and just patriarchy in general really, definitely influenced the way I thought about my sexuality during this time. I didn’t identify as straight. But this wasn’t because I knew I lacked sexual/romantic attraction towards men (I didn’t really get to grips with this until I discovered there was such a thing as asexuality);  I did know on some level I wasn’t interested in men; I couldn’t imagine myself settling down with a man; but my rejection of heterosexuality was more an expression of my radical feminism: “I’m not dating men because patriarchy, grrr!” type-thing.

I didn’t identify as bi or lesbian either, though (the only other sexualities on my radar at the time). I couldn’t imagine myself with a guy; but I couldn’t imagine myself with a girl, either. In fact, the way I thought about my sexuality is summed up perfectly in one of the Riot Grrrl zines Olivia shows in her presentation. In an essay entitled, ‘Your Revolution Will Not Happen Between These Thighs!’, its author, Lauren Jade Martin, writes: “I wasn’t straight, bi, or a dyke - I just thought of myself as nothing.”

Looking back now, I see how much I thought about (my) sexuality in the abstract. This way of thinking was certainly influenced by my exposure to radical feminism; however, I wonder whether it was also a sign of my asexuality. 

Although I was in my twenties, I’d never had sex and never been in a relationship; I’d not experienced any of the fleshy, squishy-squashy feelings that (I’m told) constitute sexual/romantic attraction, and therefore a person’s sexual identity/orientation. This therefore probably made me more receptive to the radical feminist idea of sexual orientation being a political choice you can make.

Today, a decade on, I no longer think about my sexuality in this way. And that’s because I discovered (my) asexuality. 

Over the past 12 months, I’ve been exploring (my) ace-ness, which has involved lots of self-reflection and examination of my past experiences and feelings in relation to all things sexual and romantic. This process of self-exploration has meant I no longer think about my sexuality as this abstract thing; now I know I’m asexual, I think about it as something more innate; as an orientation; as something I can’t help but be.  

So, it was interesting to come across ‘The Asexual Manifesto’ (again, via Olivia’s talk, and available to view here). This was a feminist pamphlet published in 1972 and is very reminiscent of the radical feminism I was immersed in years ago, such as it talks about “reject(ing) any possibility of sex” (with men or with women), “unless our conditions are met… thereby prevent(ing) ourselves from being sexually exploited and oppressed.”

If I’d have come across this manifesto back in my activist days, I might have embraced its definition of asexual.

Reading The Asexual Manifesto now though, I find it more problematic; because the way it defined asexuality is different to the way asexuality is defined today. The manifesto says asexuality is something a woman can choose; that it’s an “efficient ‘alternative lifestyle’ for revolutionary women”. It does not talk about asexuality in terms of experiencing little/no sexual attraction.

And whilst it could be said, ‘yeah, okay, this is a definition from the past, so let’s not worry about it too much’; check out the Wikipedia entry on ‘feminism and asexuality’. It conflates asexuality with political lesbianism – another version of that ‘woman-identified woman’ radical feminism I was talking about above.

This conflation of asexuality with radical/political lesbian feminism troubles me because it distorts and negates what asexuality actually is. I don’t want my asexuality to be construed as a choice. Yes, I’m a feminist who has issues with compulsory heterosexuality; however, I don’t have relationships with men because of that; the reason I don’t have relationships with men is because I’m simply not attracted to them. 

My asexuality is something innate to me; that’s how I experience it; how I embody it. It’s not something I’ve chosen. It’s who I am.

There’s definitely potential for an ‘asexual feminism’; but it needs to be rooted in an understanding of asexuality as experiencing little/no sexual attraction, rather than as a political/lifestyle choice. 

[purrincess-chat]

Rejected Heroes Club CH2 (Adrinette Zine)

I got kinda busy yesterday, and I was out of town, so here is chapter 2 of my @adrienettezine fic. If you’re impatient, you can read the entire work right now in the full zine as well as a ton of other really awesome fics ;) Chapter 3 will be posted this Wednesday. 

Read on AO3

Chapter 2

A breath passed Marinette’s lips as the last picture from her wall landed in a bright pink box. She trailed her fingers along the rim, staring down at the pile of photos smiling back at her. Adrien was coming over to be measured for his hero costume, and even though he knew she kept them up, something about having him around all of them made her nervous. 

She closed the lid on the box and moved it to the chest beside her chaise-lounge, stacking it neatly atop several others just like it, and found herself reaching for the Miracle Box. It felt different. Foreign. Wrong. Wayzz and Tikki assured her that Master Fu had always intended to make her the next guardian, but she never imagined the price that came with it. 

“Marinette! You have a visitor,” her mom called up the stairs, and Marinette tucked the box back into its hiding place and shut the lid. 

Her allies might have been taken from her, but she could still be a guardian to them through this club. She could still give them hope. After everything that happened, she was in need of some herself.

Grabbing her sketchbook and a tape measure, she braced herself as the wooden stairs creaked until blond hair popped through her trapdoor. His face lit up when he saw her, and she willed her heart into slowing its pace to no avail. 

“Doesn’t your dad have your measurements already? Couldn’t you have just sent them to me?” She asked, and Adrien averted his gaze with a smirk.

“Well, yeah, but this gives me an excuse to get out of the house for a bit,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Besides, I wanted to hang with my new partner for a while.”

She didn’t even try to stop the butterflies in her stomach that time. Why did he have to be so perfect? 

“I guess I can show you what I designed for you,” she said. “I’ve never seen your costume before, so I drew up a few designs. If you don’t like any of them, we could try to work up one that’s close to what your actual costume looked like.”

Adrien looked over her shoulder, standing closer than necessary as she flipped through the pages. His arm brushed hers as he moved to get a better look, green eyes devouring every pencil stroke. Marinette did her best to keep her breaths even, resisting the urge to reach out and trail her fingers through his silky hair.

“These look awesome! They’re way cooler than what I had. Now I kinda feel lame,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“No, no! I’m sure your costume was cute. I mean- I’m sure it was fine,” she said, and he trained those gorgeous eyes on her.

“Thanks,” he said. He sat on her chaise, his countenance deflating. “My costume was probably the only good thing about my time as a hero. I wasn’t exactly successful, so Ladybug ended up picking Luka instead. I feel like I really let her down.”

“I’m sure Ladybug appreciated your help. She wouldn’t have picked you if she didn’t believe in you.” Marinette sat beside him. 

“I guess. I feel like such a failure,” he sighed. “I don’t even deserve to be in this club.”

“No, no!” She waved her hands frantically. “I-I think you do. Maybe this can be your second chance to show the world that you can be a hero too.”

His face softened at that, “Thanks, Marinette. I guess I just really want to do a good job.”

“That already makes you a hero, Adrien.” She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Having superpowers and a mask aren’t what makes someone a hero. Doing the right thing and trying your hardest to help are, and I’m sure Ladybug understands that.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, shifting his gaze to his feet. “I know you’d probably rather have Luka as your partner, but I hope you’ll settle for me.”

“No! I’m happy that you and I were paired up. Now we can spend more time together,” Marinette said then quickly added, “-helping others! I mean. We can spend time together helping others.”

“Thanks, Marinette,” he said, pulling her in for a hug. “I’m glad we’re friends, and I think Alya was right to pair us up. I really needed to hear that.”

“No biggie,” Marinette said, cheeks hot. “Now, about those measurements.”

***

“The costumes you made turned out really awesome, Marinette,” Adrien said, examining the detail work on his new suit a few days later as his bodyguard drove them home. “Those kids at the library really thought we were superheroes.”

As cute as Aspik’s original suit was, Marinette wasn’t technically supposed to know what it looked like, and once she started designing new versions, she couldn’t stop. Adrien was just too handsome for words, and her brain was running wild with possibilities. Should she use this time to try to get closer to him? What if he didn’t like her? Why did he look so gorgeous in a green mask?

“I’m glad you like it. I was nervous when I designed them because I’ve never seen your suit, but I think it turned out okay,” she said, trailing her fingers along the stitching in the shoulders as an excuse to touch him. 

“You’re really talented, Marinette, or should I say, Multimouse?” He said with a wink. “By the way, you look really cute with your hair up. You should wear it like that more often.”

“Y-You think?” 

“Of course. I think it’s pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you,” she said with a dreamy sigh before snapping herself back down to earth. “I mean, uh, you’re so handsome- I’m just me, and you’re you, and-”

Adrien chuckled at her blundering, seemingly unbothered by the sentiment. The fact that he’d gotten used to her stammering should have been incredibly embarrassing, but somehow it gave her comfort.

“This club was a really good idea. Having heroes to look up to meant a lot to those kids we read to today,” Adrien said. “And I think it means a lot to Alya and the others too.”

“Well, after their identities were exposed, they all seemed so sad, and I was hoping that they’d realize that just because they’ll never get their Miraculouses back, that doesn’t mean they aren’t still heroes,” Marinette said. 

“You did all this just so your friends wouldn’t be sad?” Adrien asked, tilting his head to the side then shaking it. “You really care about everyone. If any of us deserves to be a hero, it’s you.”

“I-I dunno, I just want to help my friends, that’s all. I’m no Ladybug,” she said, waving it away.

“I think you could be Ladybug,” he said, and Marinette held her breath. “I mean Ladybug is smart and kind and always thinking of others. You two are a lot alike—always trying to solve everyone’s problems. I know I’ve said it before, but you really are our everyday Ladybug.”

Marinette relaxed, a smile curling on her lips. “I just always lookout for my friends and the people important to me, and if I can do anything for them, I try my best,” she said with a shrug. “If I can be a hero for them then…that’s enough for me.”

Adrien’s bodyguard slowed to a stop in front of the bakery, and Marinette reached for the door.

“Today was really fun. I think Aspik and Multimouse make a pretty good team,” she said, holding out her fist. 

“Definitely,” Adrien agreed, touching his fist to hers. 

“See you tomorrow at school,” she said, and Adrien nodded.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow…”

[queenangst]

(here we go again/?) Oooh it's Annie appreciation hours. I'm the anon who sent that six string ask forever ago. Like I said back then, you are directly responsible for me finally delving into the content-creator side of fandom, and it was one of the best things I've ever done. I also mentioned that you had inspired me to write my very first fanfic, remember? Well, (I hope) you'll be proud to hear that I've kept writing since then and I even applied to some zines

(2/?) (got rejected from most, but that's okay! I'm improving every day!) and I got accepted into one I was really hoping to get into. I'm working alongside so many talented artists and writers (and mods!) in this zine and it's honestly a dream come true for me. Like, genuinely such an honor to work with them, I can't even describe it. And literally the only reason I made it to this point is because of you. Because I read your work, and I followed you on tumblr, and you would

(3/3) always post such positive and encouraging messages that even little old me felt like maybe I could write too. You're still reaching me. You continue to be an inspiration to me every day. I really mean that. Your writing never fails to amaze me, and I aspire to write even half as well as you do someday. Thank you for all you do for us, and thank you for sharing your wonderful writing. You are a constant source of happiness for me so I seriously can't thank you enough

can I just say again, first of all—thank you for taking the time not just once but twice to share with me. 

when I was just starting, I never set out to write for anyone but myself. actually, reading this ask made me think of something from a long time ago. back when I was just starting, and I was a bright-eyed and excited kid exploring fandom, I really admired the work of the first writer I really fell in love with. she's older than me by a couple of years, and her work (and when she talked about her work) inspired me to write. because i thought... she’s a person. look at her writing, look at how cool she is. maybe i could do that. 

i guess what i mean to say by that is i never expected to be to anyone what she was to me, back when i started. i think last year or so i sent her a message without expectations, just to express to her how much she meant to my journey as a writer. so genuinely—i continue to be humbled, and touched that i can do that for you. 

and yes! i’m so excited and proud to hear about the news. it’s no secret that i’ve been in, run, and been rejected from many many zines, and it’s such a wonderful and varied experience. i am SO happy that you decided you wanted to do that and that you DID. that’s incredible, and i wish the best for your experience, and many more events for you to participate and contribute to if that’s what you’d like to do <3 keep going and trying! i’m sure you’re amazing and you deserve it

don’t stop believing in yourself nonnie! i’m cheering for you, i know you’re an incredible writer and you’ve got more good things to come

[bryanastar]

I Got Two Short Story Acceptances in One Day: Writing Update 11

Howdy Tumblr! So, here’s that promised post on how I got TWO short story acceptances in one day. It’s not a very long one, but I think it’s a fun one. Besides that, it’s also a very general writing update talking about what I’m writing right now and my plans for the future. There probably won’t be much to talk about on the second front since I’ll probably be on vacation when you’re reading this but that doesn’t mean there won’t be anything to update ya’ll on and plan for.

Enough waffling. On with the post.

Novels:

I mentioned in my last post that I’m working on a book for this creative writing summer camp. By the time this post is made public, I’ll have a little over a thousand words finished and workshopped. I don’t want to say more than that since I don’t want to hype up my followers for a project that may not ever come to fruition. It may be something I keep working on in a creative writing class though, so stay tuned for that!

Short Fiction:

Just like the title said, this update will be mostly focused on how I got two short story acceptances in one day in late July. It’ll likely already be August when you’re reading this but I’m only writing this a day after the fact. With all that rambling out of the way, let’s jump right in!

So the day before I got the acceptances, I on a whim decided to submit a story that I wrote back in Freshman year of high school BC (before Covid) cause it was a piece I was still really proud of and that really meant a lot to me since it was complimented by an English teacher I really liked who was also one of the few people outside my family to really read and review my work. I’d already submitted the story to two different magazines two days prior, but I felt like this magazine vibed more with the piece. So, I submitted the piece and didn’t think nothing of it…

Until later that afternoon when the itch to submit was still scratching my back.

Randomly, I decided to finish and hastily edit a flash piece I wrote for the TYWI discord young writer’s camp and submitted to two different magazines. Neither were teen magazines—both run by and for adult writers. I didn’t expect much from either considering I was competing with more experienced adults. I submitted mostly because their vibes sorta fit my piece and their max word count was a thousand (mine was 890). I didn’t expect that hear a response at all, and if I did, I expected rejection.

I heard back the very next day.

The first magazine I got accepted by was The Graveyard Zine, to whom I submitted the story from Freshman year. I did kinda expect this acceptance since they were a teen run magazine and kinda new kids on the block in the literary world. They don’t have that many pieces on their site yet, so I think they were more willing to take a chance on a story that was just as new and rough around the edges as they were (in a good way—seriously, please support this magazine!).

I’d gotten that acceptance in the early morning, so I was still pretty groggy and made a post about it on my Instagram without much fanfare (besides the magazine editors adding me to their story which was really sweet :3).

I didn’t really expect any more good news that day. Then, at exactly 9:05 AM, I received an email from Rhodora Magazine (one of the magazines I submitted the second story too).

This acceptance letter may just be the NICEST acceptance letter I’ve ever received from a literary magazine, ever. I’ve never received such high praise of my work from LITERAL STRANGERS who have no reason to exult me or keep my feelings in mind. I have a snippet of the email itself in the actual post I made on this story, which will be coming out when the piece is actually published sometime in September, but—to give a quick sneak peak—they call my story emotional, wonderful, and impressive.

So yeah, I was both celebrating and in complete disbelief, especially when I realized that, because I submitted this story in the evening and I received my acceptance at nine, the editors of the magazine for the second story didn’t even wait half a day before sending me my acceptance. It was wild!

A day later (which is actually when I’m writing this) after having finished both short story introductions, I decided to take a quick looks at the bios of the people submitting to Rhodora Magazine. All of the writers were adults. The youngest was literally eighteen. That wasn’t surprising, nor was it what stood out to me. What was surprising was the content of the bios themselves. Most were college educated, either majoring in creative writing or a related field, with many having MFAs. Most also had previous publications as well. Many were also editors themselves, or winners of important-sounding writing awards (or at least nominated for them).

Reading this, you might expect me to say that it made me feel major imposter syndrome, but it was actually the opposite. Reading also those bios and seeing all those accomplishments… it made my heart swell with pride. All these amazing writers with all these amazing stories… and the editors of this magazine think I’m good enough to be among them. Me, some random teenager from Florida whose barely about to be a Junior! I’m somehow already good enough to be among them!

To anyone who ever submits to a literary magazine and ends up getting published, never get intimidated by the bios or feel any sort of imposter syndrome. They don’t mean you aren’t good enough to be there. They mean that you’re about to rise very high in the world very, very soon.

You are a pre-successful rockstar (to quote Jason Mendoza)

That’s all for now. See you next week Tumblr!

[halberdierminister]

January 2021 Goals Check-In

Oh wow it’s already the end of January and I never even posted about what my goals for 2021 are. Okay let’s go.

Year Goals

1. Move Out I did not do this in January. In order to do so, I will need to find a job with either

1a. Better Pay or Different Location I applied for one job in January. That was not many. I kind of networked. A bit. Guh.

2. Get a Car I did not do this in January. I did take a preliminary look at the online inventory of the Carmax in Madison. That will require a GREAT deal of money. In order to do that I will need to make a

2a. Tighter Budget I am actually doing pretty well at this. What am I doing? Well for starters I have to

2ai. Make lunch at home I cannot keep eating out every goddamn day. In January, I only ate out maybe two or three times. The rest, I successfully brought lunch from home. I also am allowing myself a

2aii. Weekly nonsense allowance Every monday, I add a certain amount of money to my nonsense budget. If I do not spend the whole budget, it rolls over into the next week. I can also add to this budget by selling things I already own. I can then -- and ONLY then -- spend that money on nonsense. At first I considered buying lunch nonsense, but I figure that the lunch goal and the nonsense budget goal are two separate things, and as long as I break rule 2ai very rarely, I do not have to consider doing so as dipping into the nonsense budget. In January, I did not exceed the nonsense budget, which was so very hard to do because there are so very many frivolous things that I wish to buy. God I want to buy so many frivolous things, you guys. Oh yeah, I also need to get a

2b. Credit Card If I'm going to have a car, I should really have a credit card for emergencies. I've never had one. It will not be easy to get one, considering my credit score is the sound of crickets chirping uncomfortably. I did not make moves to get one in January.

3. Find a Publisher for the Poetry Manuscript I have a poetry manuscript. I submitted it to a publisher last year. It got rejected. This year, I intend to get it accepted. Except this month I also decided that it needed more poems in it. So I did not take any steps in January toward shopping the manuscript around, because I instead have been working on adding to it. It is still a work in progress.

4. Get Something Published Every year, I've gotta get something published. In January, and specifically today, the fifth issue of Fuckit: A Zine came out, and with it, an essay I wrote. So I did get something published this month! I also have been working on self-publishing physical copies of the two short collections I made back in 2018. Today, I finalized changes and ordered new proofs. Hopefully, these are the last edits I have to make.

5. Second Draft of either A Legitimate Businessman or Life and Love along the Fourth Wall Last year, I finished writing a novel-length fanfiction that I started writing in 2012. Coincidentally, 2012 was also the year I finished writing the first draft of a play called Life and Love along the Fourth Wall. This year, I want to write the second draft of either of these. In January, I took no steps toward this goal. Kind of forgot about it. Ah well.

6. Finish Writing The Knight out of Space This one shouldn't be too difficult. It's a longer short story I've been writing for the Archive of Our Own based on Homestuck. I have most of it outlined. There is no reason why I shouldn't have it finished by the end of this year -- ideally sooner! But I didn't do anything about it in January.

Month Goals

1. One Poem I wrote MORE than one poem in January!

2. One Short Story I TRIED to write a short story in January. Got a good distance through it too. Might have done more today if I hadn't needed to shovel. But I don't think I was going to finish it, even by first draft standards. I think I will consider finishing this first draft of it to be an additional goal in February, alongside writing February's short story. February's short story can be pretty short. Just gotta find a good short story that wants to be written.

3. One AO3 Post In January, I posted a couple times on the Archive of Our Own! These were pretty short posts, but posts nonetheless. I've got a lot of active fics on there. I have lots of options in terms of posting.

4. Promote My Writing I posted a little bit about it on my book Instagram, which I also promoted to more people. I have been more active on my author page on Facebook. I shared posts about Fuckit and my upcoming chapbooks. So I would consider that, in January, I succeeded at this goal.

[techworkerszine]

Call for Work: Workers in Tech Zine

I spent a lot of 2018-2020 thinking about driverless cars. I wrote about them. I taught a course about them. I wrote a novel about workers in Pittsburgh’s driverless car sector that will be published [ TK ].

While working on these projects, I talked to many people in and around the AV sector (you, dear reader, are likely one of these people). In these conversations I heard solutions to fixable global problems. I heard frustrations about unfixable company-related problems. More than anything, I heard stories from workers who felt 1) incredible scrutiny and pressure at their jobs 2) incredible social scrutiny and pressure the instant they left their workplaces. Yes, I endured conversations with some true A1 Tech Assholes, but far more frequently, I spoke with employees from all levels (think after-hours employees to directors) who were incredibly self-aware about their privilege, their skill, their replaceability, the shockingly entrenched and ascendant power of their company, the shall-we-say clumsy treatment of workers at said company…

Me, an artist and writing instructor: “you should write something about all of this!”

Worker: “yeah, but where would I write for? Plus my NDA really frowns on this sort of stuff.”

I made multiple offers to look at work, of any sort, whenever they wanted, if only as an exercise in self-reflection. The more work I saw, the more I thought: it would be so beneficial for this all this work to be in conversation in some way.

So, I’m seeking writing and art from tech workers to be published in a zine alongside the release of my book in [ TK ].

_____________________

So um, I’m just supposed to write? About working in tech?

Your prompt, which you are welcome to reject or reframe in any way you see fit: what is it like to be a worker in the tech industry?

How exactly am I supposed to tackle this prompt?

It’s up to you. Visual art, short written narratives, a comic, a poem—I am big believer that artists need space, not direction (though I can certainly help provide the latter if you find yourself in need).

The only constraint is that you get two pages--think 8.5ish x 7ish. Consider those two pages yours.

Do I have to work in the driverless car sector?

No. I’m fine with loose definitions of ‘tech’ and ‘worker.’

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that my very first two thoughts are: oh I would love to tell story ‘X’, and oh I could totally get in trouble for doing this. The risk-reward is too imbalanced.

Authored pieces are welcome, as are anonymous ones. I would be the only person to know which piece was yours, and I would ensure that there’s no identifying details or information of any sort. If you doubt my commitment to protecting workers, consider: when my teachers’ union went on strike, the state education system briefly terminated our healthcare. My wife was 8.5 months pregnant. So, I picketed, without healthcare, while my wife was on the verge of labor, all because she and I believe in protecting workers’ rights.

What I’m saying is: you’re safe with me. We can talk more if you’re concerned.

So like, why are you doing this? What’s in it for you?

To the extent my novel has a thesis, it’s that blue collar work ethic is an insufficient personal credo in the face of enormous social problems. This is not some flimsily chosen notion. For years, I have burrowed into my writing well, eager to ‘work hard’ and ‘uphold familial blue collar values’ and ‘something something steel industry something something.' Meanwhile, the world outside this writing well of mine has grown tragic-comically worse seemingly every hour. It is destined to deteriorate further without a continually replenished spirit of collaboration and organization. These notions are, in part, what my novel is about, and I hope this project can put this idea into more tactile action in some small way.

Come on, be real, what’s really in it for you? Aren’t you just trying to sell more books?

Fuck yes I am, though I would revise that sentence: I am trying to help my publisher sell more books. One of my primary goals is this: I want my publisher, the heroic small press outfit Propeller Books, to break even on my novel. This is very, very important to me. Breaking even will not earn me any financial reward. It will very much reward my publisher, the heroic Dan DeWeese, who has run Propeller Books and Propeller Magazine for ten years. I very much want the press to continue for another ten (and more).

I also very much want to help ___[cause TK]______, which is why I am building upon a ‘book launch’ model my wife concocted for her own book release in January of 2021 (read more here). Whereas she created her own zine for her Level 2 perk in her Indiegogo campaign, our zine will serve as the Level 2 perk. In our (not my, our) model, Level 1 contributors would receive my novel. Level 2 contributors would receive a Book and our Zine. Level 3 would get some yet-to-be-determined benefit.

I’m looking at your wife’s page and it seems like she’s making some decent money. Do I get any of that $?

That’s the goal! The biggest cut will go to Propeller Books. A second cut will go to ________. I am working on acquiring grant funds to pay for zine printing costs, and my hope is that once zine costs are met either from grant funds or from Level 2-and-up purchases, zine contributors will split funds earned from the sale of the zine.

Seems very complicated.

Collaboration often is.

What if I just want the zine?

Spoiler: there will be many zines left over after this project. Before we sell them individually, I’d like to try and maximize the launch campaign as much as possible. I imagine you will get plenty of zines in the end.

So what is really, actually, truly required of me?

Make something. Send it to me. And, if you want, maybe participate in a launch event at White Whale Bookstore in Bloomfield when the novel comes out and vaccines are aplenty.

All this talk about ‘pieces’ and ‘comics’ and ‘anecdotes’….I’m just a freaking tech worker! I’m not an artist! Even if did want to submit, I’d have no idea how to go about it.

Look. Someone (me, a colleague, a friend) thinks you have a story to tell. That’s why you have arrived to this page. Don’t get caught up in the form. Think about your experience. What do you want people to know about you? What do they not understand about working in tech? What does your family not understand about working in tech? Your friends? Your bosses?

I know someone who would be oh-so-interested in this.

Give them my email—patrickmmcginty@gmail.com—or send them the link to this page. The more the merrier.

I’ve got to confess: I’m a little leery about making it seem as though tech workers are this incredibly disadvantaged group. I don’t want to come across as whiny.

This is a very self-aware concern, and I actually think there’s a way to invite this discomfort into whatever you submit. I also think that the best stories arise from tension, which the tech sector has quite a high supply of at the moment. It might be helpful to consider this advice I once received from a very, very smart organizer: “labor learns best from labor.” I won’t explain that quote away. Instead, I’m going to try and collect work for a zine that puts that advice into practice. 

When is this due?

Let’s say May 31st.

[bnha-kokoro-zine]

Tips for first-timers in Zines

Hello! I hope you don’t mind if I show your question like this @angel-of-darkness-217 ; this is something I would’ve loved to know when I started applying to zines myself, and that I’m sure it will help more people who are thinking of applying to this one.

There are many different types of zines out there; free, for charity, for profit, only for artists, focused on writers, focused on merch (like tarot projects), and with all kinds of contributors working in them. Every zine is unique, so their applications may vary, but there are a few essential things you always need to take into consideration if you want to be a contributor to one of them.

I will divide this answer into the different stages of a zine for a better organization.

Getting interested in a zine

When you first bump into a zine, all zines look like shiny little jewels you want to get your hands on asap. However, a lot of zines sadly fail through in their earliest stages, so you need to take into consideration a couple of things before thinking of applying:

Who’s the mod team? Try to find a list/post with some information about the mods of that project. See if they have prior experience in modding a project like this one. If they have experience, there are more chances that the project will follow through until the end. Be careful, though! Zines with heavily experienced mods can also fail for multiple reasons, and people without experience can also produce a really good product. It all depends on the next points.

Check their FAQ and guidelines. A properly structured FAQ including details of the project shows very well the organization of the team. A good FAQ makes a good project. I’d also advise you to read through the FAQ to make sure you’re really interested in the project.

Is the mod team communicative? Do they answer questions regularly? Are they clear in their answers? Are they polite? Do you think you’ll be comfortable working with them? Have they answered all the questions you’ve left in their ask box? (check if it has been answered before or that you’ve left them enough time, though) If you have answered with “No” to one or several of these questions, I’d rethink my wishes to apply to that project.

Remember, if a project doesn’t follow one or two of these points it doesn’t necessarily mean the project itself is bad. However, this is what you ideally need to find in a project like this.

Applications

Now it comes one of the most nerve-wracking parts of a zine: applications. You really want to get into this project, and you want your application to knock the mods off their feet. Applications may feel daunting, but they’re pretty straight-forward once you get the hang of them!

Follow the guidelines carefully. Mods usually leave some rules for applications, like the number of samples, the maximum word count, the theme, etc. Make sure you follow all these rules, or else you risk your app being disqualified.

Make sure your work is easily accessible. Make sure the mods will have no issues viewing your samples (for example, that the links you’re posting aren’t restricted only to your followers, that the link is still active until the end of the applications period, or that you’re sending the correct link). Mods can’t give you a score if they can’t see your work. 

Answer all the questions as clearly as possible. Make sure to read them all carefully before submitting your app. Don’t worry if you have to take a while to write a proper answer, or if you need to ask the mod team about clarifications for some questions -- Mods will gladly answer any doubt you have. 

Make sure your application fits the theme. Normally, it doesn’t matter much if your samples stray a bit from the theme of a zine, but some zines ask specifically for samples that fit a certain, general theme, like nature, love, fairy tales, etc. For zines like that (and essentially all zines if you want to get more attention from the mods), it is nice to make a bigger effort to find samples that fit the theme. A very important note! To all artists who also apply as a merch artist, please don’t apply with the same samples you used for your artist application. It shows a lack of care and it might hinder the mods’ opinion on you. Including actual designs for merch in your samples and/or portfolio helps a lot.

Offer pitches if they ask for them. Sometimes it’s not obligatory, but well-explained pitches really show how interested you’re in the zine. It will leave a good impression on the mods! Again, don’t worry if you need to take some days to think about them, and get feedback if you need it. Just make sure you submit it before apps close.

Have a good portfolio. Our dear Mod Dev has written this post about what makes a good portfolio. It’s a very interesting read, so I recommend you read it, guys!

Again, if you don’t follow one or two of these rules it won’t affect your application much. Mods are pretty flexible, and they can adapt to most situations without hindering their opinion on the application. However, it will look really good if you do follow them.

And remember the most important rule of them all:

Don’t be discouraged if you get rejected. Sometimes zines get too many applications and have very limited contributors spots. Mods see themselves in a situation where they have to choose between several really good applications and discuss for hours to see who they accept and who they reject. 

Being rejected doesn’t mean you’re bad; sometimes, someone else’s application fits the theme better, they explained themselves better, or they were just very lucky and were chosen over you. So, please, don’t let a rejection email let you down and keep trying! 

Most of the people who have participated in a zine sometime have been rejected heaps of time before. I have been rejected dozens of times before (at this point it’s part of the zine experience*). However, if you keep trying and learn from your mistakes, it’s only a matter of time until you get into one yourself.

You won’t get in if you don’t try.

*And please, remember not to bring someone else down if they have been accepted in the zine you wanted to get in, and never, never say they got accepted because of their popularity. Most mods score blindly or know they can’t be influenced by someone’s popularity, and that someone has already been rejected dozens of times before, just like you.

They have tried just as hard as you, and they were lucky enough to get in, so make sure to congratulate them.

Creation process

You’ve finally gotten into a zine, cool! However, there are still a few things you need to take into consideration while working in a zine.

Follow the zine guidelines. Be it dimensions, standardizations, limited word counts, etc., make sure you follow them. Every contributor has a limited space assigned to them in a zine, so make sure you can stay within those limits and ask for help if you need it.

Be communicative, ask questions and be patient. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to your team -- mods are there to organize the project, and they will gladly answer any question you may have. But remember to be patient; modding a zine is a hard job, and sometimes the team needs to discuss the answer to your question before they can give you an answer. Don’t worry; your answer will come eventually. Feel free to remind them if they haven’t answered you in a while, though; they may have forgotten about it!

Follow check-ins down to a T and in time. Check-ins are there to help you go through your workload seamlessly while letting the mods see what you’re creating. It still shows the mods that you’re still very interested in the zine - they won’t know if they have to find someone else for your position if you don’t answer. Don’t be afraid to ask for an extension if you need it.

If you’re a writer, find a beta. Some zines offer betas for their writers, but some don’t. However, that doesn’t mean your work doesn’t need to be anything less than the best (after all, it gets to be in a zine!). Try to find a beta to spot any mistakes you could’ve missed before submitting the final piece.

If you follow all these points, I’m sure the mod team will love you forever. 

Preorders/Shipping

All the final pieces have been submitted and the zine has been assembled, so now preorders start. You obviously want this project you’ve worked so hard on to succeed, and you can actually help to make that happen if you follow these little tips:

Reblog the Preorders open post in all your social media. And if you have social media where the mods don’t have accounts for, post the link yourself! You want to attract as many buyers as possible, and that will only happen if we spread the word.

Make sure you post a preview of your work if the mods ask you to. Previews help hesitant people to finally decide to buy a zine. If you like the concept of a zine but you don’t know if you really want to pay $X for it (remember, zines are usually quite expensive), some cute art and snippets can convince even the most stubborn of buyers!

Ask for updates. See how things are doing and help promote preorders and events like giveaways if necessary. You can also ask for photographic proof when the physical zines get to the mods in charge of shipping; who doesn’t love to see shiny, beautiful products all of you have worked so hard for?

Sometimes, zines don’t make enough money to provide their contributors with a free copy of the zine. It’s really sad, but it happens. And if you’re sad, believe me when I say that the mods are absolutely devastated; they’ve made their biggest effort to lower the expenses as much as possible, but math sometimes just laughs at them in return. If it comes to this, be supportive and, if you want a copy of the zine, try to find alternatives; see if you can buy the zine at production cost, or if you can pitch in with the shipping/fees expenses.

And that’s about it! If you follow these points, I’m sure your experience in the zine scene will be very enjoyable! If you have any questions about them, feel free to ask. Our ask box is always open :D

Lots of love,

Mod Lie

[kumeko]

three square meals

Characters/Pairings: The Fellowship, Eowyn

A/N: written for the @lotr-zine, Twilight and Shadow. I got assigned fluff and tried to include everyone. XD

Summary: Even separated as they were, they all had to eat. Had to rest. Had to laugh.

…

…

…

…

Breakfast:

“You were serious about the second breakfast?” Boromir stared at Merry and Pippin as they sat on a rock, divvying up sausages and fruit. They had already made four piles of bread, unpacking whilst everyone else was gathering their belongings. It was a mess and not for the first time he wondered if there was any wisdom in bringing such small, impulsive creatures with them.

 Despite their supposed ages, they looked and acted like children at times. Such as now, with Merry grinning cheerfully and holding out an apple. “Should we set some aside for you too?”

 “No.” Boromir frowned, rubbing his forehead. They had been traveling together for the span of a few days and he had a feeling his headache would be a daily thing. “How many breakfasts do you normally eat?”

 “Four.” Pippin said confidently.

 “Five,” Merry replied just as firmly at the same time and the pair stared at each other.

 After a moment, they chorused together, “Three to five.”

 “That’s…that’s a lot of breakfast.” Boromir glanced at their bellies. They didn’t look portly, like some of the nobles in Gondor did when they’d spent their days feasting and nothing else. Though, he couldn’t say the hobbits were particularly fit either. Merry and Pippin often complained about the hike, asking for breaks on an hourly basis, even if they were soundly rejected every single time.

 Though they did keep walking despite their whining, so maybe they were sturdy at the very least.

 Merry shrugged, returning to spreading jam on a piece of toast. “Not really. It’s normal. What, do you only eat two?”

 “One.” Boromir, crouched, glaring at the pair. He was starting to feel like a baby sitter. “And you need to pack, we’re leaving.”

 “Oh, come on!” Pippin crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks and Boromir could not shake the image of a child out of his head. “We’re setting things so we don’t have to stop for breakfast. We can eat while we walk.”

 “Yeah, do you want to hear our stomachs rumble?” Merry swished a butter knife in the air dramatically. “We’re hiding in a bush, away from the dark lord, and then all of a sudden there’s a loud awrrrrgghhhh because someone wouldn’t let us eat?”

 “We won’t hide,” Boromir stated, his hand on his hilt. Despite all the uncertainties of their travel routes and methods, of that he was positive. “We’ll cut past them.”

 “Sure, you say that now.” Merry snorted. Both hobbits were quickly bundling up their food piles and when had they finished preparing? They were surprisingly sneaky little things; it was no wonder Boromir had never seen one before this day.

 “I’ll say it then too.” Boromir got up, looking toward the sun. Toward home. It would miles yet before they were near Gondor, before he could even dream of Gondor, but they would get there. No matter what the elves or Aragorn had said, he was sure he could convince the group to stop by when they were closer.

 “There. Set.” Pippin leaped off the rock, his bag packed. “See, no trouble at all.”

 “Right.” Boromir laughed as the two hobbits puffed their chests with pride. All this over breakfast. “When I take you to Gondor, you’ll see why one breakfast is more than enough there.”

 Merry furrowed his brow, a challenging smirk on his face. “Do you really think you can satisfy us?”

 “You’ll be rolling home.” He ruffled their hair, ignoring their protests. “It’ll be a feast unlike any you’ve ever seen.”

 -x-

Lunch:

“What is your home like?” Eowyn asked, rolling her shoulders back as she straightened her posture. Long rides were nothing new to her; the horse was almost an extension of her body at times, and she could move him through his paces in her sleep. The problem was the tedious pace, the days upon end where they trotted slowly across the kingdom. It was a long trek to Helm’s Deep and they couldn’t go any faster out of fear of outpacing their walking subjects.

 It did not make it any less tempting to squeeze her thighs and urge her mount into a gallop. The wide fields ahead of them almost seemed to call for her.

 Gimli twisted on his seat uncomfortably, his expression dour. His arms crossed as he failed to find any position he liked, and it spoke of his strength that he didn’t fall of the horse like that. “We do not use horses.”

 He’d been like that for the past hour but she was pretty sure it was the elf sitting in front of him that was the real reason for his discomfort.

 “That’s because you can’t reach high enough to sit on one.” Legolas smirked, glancing over his shoulder at his companion. “Don’t worry, the ground won’t be too far when you fall.”

 “When?” Miffed, Gimli’s hand curled around his axe for what had to be the tenth time this morning.

 Eowyn failed to suppress her chuckle in time and Gimli turned his glare to her. With a placating smile, she patted her horse’s neck. “They aren’t too bad, when you get used to them.”

 “If you say so, lass.” Gimli still frowned, looking entirely put out.

 “Why don’t we give him a dog; the ponies the hobbits have might be too big for him,” Legolas suggested, and she wasn’t sure at this point if he actually meant half his insults or he said them only to get a rise out of his comrade.

 Either way, it always ended the same way, with the pair glaring at each other. Bloodshed seemed almost unavoidable now and she glanced at Aragon hopefully. When he merely shrugged, unfazed by the threatening atmosphere, she bit back a sigh. It fell to her then. Tapping her chin, she tried to find a neutral topic. It was close to lunch and her stomach grumbled softly. “What is food like in Erebor? You said something about a feast.”

 “Aye!” Finally, Gimli grinned, wide and full of teeth. He puffed his chest proudly. “Come under the mountain, and you’ll see a dwarven feast. Piles of meat, all cooked to perfection. Goblets of overflowing wine. Nothing is lacking.”

 “Burnt food,” Legolas listed off, counting his fingers. Somehow, even that simple movement looked more graceful than anything Eowyn had done in her life. “Sour wine. Lack of vegetables. No wonder you’re always in a foul mood.”

 “And you’re a bloody rabbit,” Gimli shot back, leaning back to look up at the elf. Some miracle kept him on his seat; any further and he would fall. “All leaves and grapes and your meat’s undercooked.”

 “Or maybe you just don’t know what proper cooking is.” Legolas raised a brow, looking over his shoulder. “You know it isn’t supposed to be black. Even charcoal has move flavour.”

 “You…” Gimli growled, setting off a tirade of proper fire techniques and maybe food wasn’t as safe a topic as Eowyn had hoped. To be honest, maybe nothing was—she had a feeling that even a discussion about the sky would somehow end up in an argument.

 At least it was entertaining.

 “You got them started,” Aragon sighed as he urged his horse next to her, clearly used to the argument. He clicked his tongue as the pair squabbled. “It’ll be hours before they shut up. Even then, only for a few minutes.”

 The amused smile on his face said otherwise. There was a wild rush at seeing that, like racing her horse across the plain, like winning her first sword fight. She looked away. “And what about you, my lord? How do your people eat?”

 “…nothing to talk about,” Aragon admitted slowly. A hand rubbed his neck slowly as he considered the question. “We live in the wilds, so it’s just wild game and herbs. We’re not really known for our cooking.”

 And what are you known for? she wanted to ask. A king who was not king, a man who lived freer than she ever had. Even with her uncle safe, with her brother back, she felt just as trapped as she did back in that cold castle with Wormtongue leering at her. But the words were caught in her throat and she tightened her grip on the reins. “Neither are mine, we spend too much time in the saddle. Oh, but my mother, her stew was delicious.”

 “Stew?” Gimli tuned back into the conversation, interested once more. He leaned toward her and there had to be something supernatural that was keeping him on his seat. “Would that be a meat stew, lass?”

 “Of course.” She brushed a stray hair behind her ear nervously, before blurting out. “I’ll make you some for lunch.”

 Gimli looked delighted and though she wouldn’t look, she hoped Aragon was maybe half as interested.

 -x-

Dinner:

“Keep your hands from the pot!” Sam ordered, slapping Faramir’s hands before they could touch the ladle. The sound echoed in the night air, drowning out the crackle of the fire. “It’s not ready yet.”

 Faramir blinked. It was rare that anyone treated him with such familiarity. Even out here, in the marsh lands, he was still considered a lord, a de facto prince, since few believed the king would return. “I was merely going to stir it.”

 “Oh.” Sam coloured, embarrassed. He twisted his hands nervously. “No offense meant, sire. Just that…well, my friends, they’d often steal bites while I cooked and I…old habits.” He offered a timid smile.

 It was interesting to observe Sam. One moment fierce and protective, the next self-depreciating. Faramir could see a little of himself in the hobbit. “It’s fine.” He sat next to Frodo, who watched the affair with a tired smile. “Are you one of those friends?”

 The hobbit looked exhausted, almost as dead as the land they threaded, but at this a small flush of colour returned to his skin. With a mischievous grin, he confessed conspiratorially, “When he wasn’t looking.”

 “What?” Sam dropped the ladle, staring at him in surprise. A hand reached up, clutching his chest. “I could understand Merry and Pippin. But you too?”

 Looking entirely unapologetic, Frodo shrugged. “Well, I was hungry.”

 “Frodo Baggins!” Sam frowned, disappointed. Sternly, he pulled the ladle closer to him as though some mysterious had would steal it away. “Well, not this time.”

 “Of course not,” Frodo blinked innocently, a beguiling smile on his face. He clasped his hands in front of him, looking troubled by the very thought. “Your stew is safe.”

 Not buying it, Sam shook his head with a distrusting scowl. Lifting the ladle, he took a small sip and rolled the liquid around his mouth. He reached into his pouch, pulled out a pinch of some mysterious powder, and tossed it in. “Ok, this should do.” He grabbed a bowl and poured a spoonful of a steaming hot broth inside. “For you, sire.”

 Faramir took the bowl and inhaled. While it largely smelled like any other rabbit stew, a few unfamiliar herbs flooded his senses. Whatever they were, it was a pleasant scent. “Smells good.”

 “Thank you. Made it just like my gaffer did, a family recipe.” Sam smiled proudly, his hands on his hips. His smile dropped as he swivelled his head over to Frodo and squinted at him for a long moment. Grabbing a second bowl, he mused, “I think I’ll give this to Gollum first.”

 Aghast, Frodo stood up in horror. Clearly, he had not considered the consequences of his admission. “No!”

 “Yes!” Considering how much Sam hated the creature, this was clearly a sore point. With a sniff, he filled the bowl to the brim. “And then maybe for Faramir’s men and if anything is left over, then you.”

 Faramir cracked a smile. “I doubt there is enough in there for all of my men.”

 Sam pursed his lips disapprovingly. He stirred the pot three times, considering it, before conceding. “Fine. But Gollum first and then you. And if you steal a spoonful, that will be your last spoonful.”

 Looking contrite, Frodo nodded. He clasped his hands behind his back. “I won’t touch anything.”

 “I’ll watch him,” Faramir offered, chuckling as Sam trotted away in a huff. Meals with his brother used to be like this, warm and full of conversation.

 Boromir. His eyes lowered, staring at the bowl in his hands. His brother, dead. His brother, gone. It was a strange thought, to know that his brother would never return to him, would never again stride through the halls with a laugh and a hearty wave.

 “Faramir?” Frodo cocked his head, looking up at him in concern. He crouched next to Faramir, his hands on his knees. “Is something the matter?”

 Shaking his head out of his thoughts, he stirred his bowl. “It’s nothing.” He took a small sip and his lips parted in surprise at the warm broth. It seemed Sam wasn’t all talk. “It’s delicious.”

 “He’s a good cook.” Frodo sat, hugging his knees. Staring at the fire, he commented softly, “I don’t think I would have made it this far without him.”

 Ah. The hobbits really did remind Faramir of himself. He had seen that exact look before in the mirror, while thinking of Boromir. “He’s a good companion.”

 “More than he realizes.” Frodo added with a quiet smile. His fingers played with the folds of his pants. “He’s my best friend.”

 His brother was his best friend too. No, Boromir had been his best friend. A dull ache came at the correction, at the realization that he had a lifetime of it. Faramir took another sip, the liquid carving a hot path down his throat. “Did my brother ever tell you about Gondor?”

 “Yes, he wanted us to come.” Frodo nodded, chuckling. He glanced at Faramir. “He told us about your feasts. He said you’d have to roll us home after breakfast.”

 Faramir shook his head. That sounded exactly like Boromir. Always terribly proud of Gondor, even in the smallest of matters. “I’m sure he made us sound grander than we are.” He looked at the bowl in his hands, warmer than any meal he’d had in Gondor since his brother left. If a trace of this could return to the halls, perhaps his father could change.

 Perhaps they could all change and become the Gondor his brother was proud of once more.

 “It might not be as filling, but I’ll make breakfast tomorrow,” Faramir offered.

 “Really?” Frodo snapped his head to stare at him, excitement crossing his face. “Ohh…Merry and Pippin will be jealous.”

 Faramir could almost hear his brother’s guffaw.

[houseofvans]

ART SCHOOL | Q&A with DETH P. SUN

Influenced by the works of Richard Scarry, Charles Schultz, and the likes of Tove Jannson, artist Deth P. Sun’s interest in art and zines started early on–from drawing everything in an encyclopedia to creating his first zine in high school. From that point on, Deth has been a prolific painter, zine maker, and doodler, focused on making his art on his own terms. With his central hero– a genderless cat – Deth explores various  natural and strange worlds through a subtle narrative, created by his brushwork, ambiguity, and color palettes. 

Find out more about Deth’s art, his wordless storytelling, and what inspires him by taking the leap below. 

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

Introduce yourself?   My name is Deth P. Sun, I’m an artist living in a tiny coastal town in Northern California, but most of my adult life was spent in the Bay Area, primarily in Oakland and Berkeley. I tell people I’m Cambodian, which is mostly true.

When did you begin having an interest in art and painting? How or why do you think you gravitated towards this profession? I’ve always enjoyed drawing, I think I kind of like getting better at it and learning about new things that are centered around that. It’s one of the cheaper hobbies to get started in as a kid. It’s not really a thing I think about too much these days. Mostly I wonder how my life was set by my 17 year old self.

How do you describe your work to people who maybe unfamiliar with it? Until I moved to this town I live in now, I kind of never had to. Mostly because I don’t meet new people outside of my circle. I just tell people I’m a graphic artist. If they want more info I just stare at them blankly because I think it’s kind of rude to ask strangers what they do for a living.

There are various aspects to your paintings from being narrative and storytelling to those that feature various painted objects and natural things. Can you tell us a little bit about the narrative elements of your works and how that came about? Yeah, I just like suggesting that there’s a narrative with my work, which isn’t that hard as long as you don’t stray too much from your pallette or reuse images to find in each painting. I kind of like seeing a whole set of paintings, that’s when you sense that there is a story.

When did you protagonist character start to take shape? How did that evolve and come-about? I’ve just always drew a character like that. Probably in high school. It’s been so long I don’t really remember. It probably came from my sketchbook. Most of my sketchbooks are kind of boring because it was just me repeatedly drawing the same stuff until I got better at it. I think I was trying to draw a cat and I drew something else that I liked.

In some of your other works, you paint collections of items from food, mushrooms, crystals to swords and old style cell phones. How did these paintings originate for you? Were you finding yourself sketching certain things that you read about or were you just obsessed with a certain object that week? My parents taught themselves English using Richard Scarry books so they were the first books I had my hands on. It’s just pages and pages of him drawing things with words describing what they were underneath. When I was younger I had this project where I’d take an encyclopedia and try drawing everything in it. I think I only got to M. Also when I was kid while drawing in my sketchbook I would just run out of stuff to draw so I’d go room to room drawing everything in each room.

It was just a thing to kill time.

How has where you live and its landscape influenced the work you create?  What’s your favorite thing about residing there? I guess it does a little, but I think I drew the stuff and then when I got here, I liked it a lot, so I ended up on this tiny coastal town on the bluffs. I started drawing weird epic landscapes after watching a bunch of Swedish films a few years ago.

What was your last adventure or walk through your neighborhood that showed up in one of your work, thematically or just visually? One time a friend invited me to a barbeque. They lived near the train tracks a couple of miles from me, so I walked up the tracks passed the cemetery and over a few tressel bridges. It was really nice walk. Met a turtle. They had to come down and get me because I didn’t know the path to their house, and it was getting dark.

What IS your favorite thing to draw or paint? Do you have an UNfavorite thing to draw or paint? I like drawing pineapples. I hate when strangers ask me to draw them. I want to punch them in the face.

When did you start picking up the paint brush and taking your works to the canvas? What do you enjoy about painting vs. drawing? The first time I painted was in my high school art class, I think like most other Americans. I was using tempera, so it sucked. But I started buying acrylic soon after. I think painting and drawing is kind of the same thing, or least I just paint like I’m drawing. I don’t think it was a strange transition.

What’s a typical day like for you at home and in the studio? What’s your process like? I fill out internet orders sometimes, or a wholesale order. Sometimes I draw. Mostly I get up and look at my email and go, “I have a lot of stuff to do and this is gonna suck”. I don’t really multitask, so it’s usually me filling out orders for 8 hours and trying to get to the post office before 4:30 while watching dumb shit on the internet, or me helping a friend screen print in my garage, or if I have a show just ignoring everything else in life and painting for two months.

A few years ago I kind of got burnt out of making a living with just painting. So I was like maybe I should make more t-shirts and prints. So I ended up moving to Fort Bragg and screenprinting more stuff and making more drawings toward that. But now my days are filled with me screen printing and filling out small orders or hanging out on my computer photoshopping all day. So now I’m in some other kind of hell.

What are your go-to art tools? A Pilot Hi-Tec C (They’re called G-Tec 4s in other places) pen. I use the .4, but should probably switch to .5. You have to have a light touch with them or else they’ll jam. 

Right now I enjoy using Mitsubishi pencils, but the cheap Mirado Black Warrior pencil you can get at most stationary store is just as good.

Been filling a sketchbook using Opaque markers. Posca’s are pretty good, but the color choices are limited, so I started buying Molotow. The Molotow’s can be refilled so they might end up being a better value.

Lately I’ve been painting with cheap $2 craft paints mostly because I don’t like mixing colors. Just bought a few of the Martha Stewart’s at Michaels. I still buy Golden and Liquitex, but it’s nice to mix in other stuff.

Not only do you draw and paint, you are always printing and creating zines of your works. Do you remember your very first zine you made? Are you working on a new zine? The first zine I made was pretty horrible. It was staple at the top corner, and I gave it out to my friends when I was in high school. I put everything precious in a box before I left for college and when I came back my dad had threw it out. At the time I was pretty bummed, but now I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that. I’m always working on something. Sometimes things take a really long time. I drew everything I ate while in England and Scotland several years ago and just now getting it all together. I’ve gotten rejected from a bunch of zine fairs, so there really isn’t a urgency to get it finished. I’m thinking of making one for the tiny town I’m in, and other that’s like a newspaper, but filled with just my gibberish drawing of words.

Do you have a favorite zine maker out there you’d like to share with folks? I’m pretty excited to  be tabling at Comics Art Brooklyn. Last year  I sat nearby Evan Cohen (http://www.evanmcohen.com) who I had just bought zines online from a few weeks before so that was kind of unexpected. He makes rad work. There was a few other artists there whose work I enjoyed. I came home with a lot of nice prints which I never really get from strangers. Stuff from Natalie Andrewson, Tiny Splendor, most everything Peow Studios publishes, and Jen Tong. I like this zine called Terror House by Sammy Harkham that I’d buy a few to give out to friends and the zines my friend, Evah Fan makes.

What are you constantly inspired by? And who are some of your early and current art influences? I think what keeps me going is random problem solving with how I paint. Or maybe the natural world. I don’t really know if I’m being totally honest.   I grew up reading Peanuts. It has it’s good moments. I think I became comfortable with not always having to be in the up. I really like Tove Jannson’s work.. I’m not a fan Tintin, but I like the way Hergé uses color and lines. I was lucky enough to come to the Bay Area while the Mission School was around and Yoshitoma Nara had a few shows, so it made it okay for me to make paintings the way I do.

What do you do when you are not painting, drawing or making zines? How do you find yourself unwinding? I watch a lot of dumb shit on youtube and take long walks. Each week I go to a game night where I do board games (Catan, Ticket to Ride, Dixit, Pirates Cove are in the usual rotation). I like to cook and have people over. I actually unwind by drawing and watching a lot of basketball while listening to basketball podcasts.

What advice would you offer to an aspiring artist who might wanna follow in your footsteps? Be nice to everyone you meet ever. Always try to learn. Don’t get caught up in what people think of you or your work. Know that if you keep on doing something you’ll get better at it. Pick up different hobbies. Make friends with other artists. Be open to all opportunities. Get used to rejection.

What’s your best Art School tip that you want to share with folks? Some random wisdom you learned through your personal journey or just while making art? You know I don’t know if I’m the best person to get advice from since I sort of carved out this weird existence. When you’re young, it’s easy to get caught up in weird things and maybe a person should just get caught up in those things. I do meet old school mates who have regrets about how their time in art school was spent, but I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way of doing it. I think there really isn’t any rush, and also if you feel like you “failed” you can always just get back up because no one is really paying attention.

I think I hear a lot from folks who worry that they’re too old to try painting or doing art for a living. And I’d hear this from someone who’s like 25 or 30. But there really isn’t a deadline to any of this stuff and also no one really knows how old anyone is. I think everyone’s trying to get to some sort of finish line, but really just existing and making work is all there is.

What do you think you’d be doing if you weren’t an artist? In an alternate universe, what career would Deth find himself doing? I’d probably be working in tech if I’m being honest with myself.

What’s a question you never get asked in an interview that you wanna ask yourself and answer? There really isn’t.

What are your favorite style of VANS? My favorite Vans were the slip ons with a grey herring bone pattern on them. I had 4 or 5 pairs, but I think they switched to a smaller pattern because I couldn’t find them again.

What’s coming up for you the rest of the year or into the next? Comic Arts Brooklyn (http://comicartsbrooklyn.com), a solo show in January at Spoke Art (https://spoke-art.com) in San Francisco. I’ll have stuff at a print fair in Oakland (https://www.oaklandprintfair.com), and an art book fair in Berlin (http://www.friendswithbooks.org/content/about) through Vanilla Studios (http://vanillastud.io).

FOLLOW DETH | INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE | SHOP

[missionclearzine]

✨APPLICATION Q + A!✨

Thought I’d organize the questions we got through the applications so far! I’ll be updating this post as we get more questions~

-- Mod Pilot

Q - I was wondering how fast do the mods respond to emails, and if we get rejection letters.

A- We usually respond to emails within 2-3 days if not sooner! We will be sending out rejection letters and will give critiques to those who ask for it after the rejection emails are sent out!

Q - I’m a minor, is that okay?

A- Yeah that's fine! Keep in mind that if you will be contributing to the zine, we may ask you to send us your address so we can send in the merch (and the physical zine if we get enough interest)!

Q - Is it limited which generation we can draw?

A- Nope! We won't limit the zine to just the Pokémon that were actually in the game, so feel free to have fun and add the newer generation Pokémon!

Q - I was wondering when the decision will be made for the project to be purely digital or both digital and print? I suppose I'm thinking about if the merch artists design something to be printed, but then the project remains purely digital?

A- Regardless of whether or not the zine itself will be digital or both digital and physical, the merch will be physical! We'll probably make the decision once the Contributor Applications are over and get the opinions of those participating in this project! Hope this answers all of your questions~

[purrincess-chat]

Rejected Heroes Club CH3 (Adrinette Zine)

Anywho, here is chapter 3 of my piece for the @adrienettezine If you want to read the last part before Friday then go check out the full zine and show all of the creators who participated some love. I’ll see you cool cats Friday.

Read on AO3

Chapter 3

“Heads up!”

Adrien turned as Marinette tossed a bottle toward the trash bin he was carrying, backing up a few paces to catch it. A cool breeze blew along the Seine, puffy clouds floating across a blue sky. The perfect weather for picking up trash with a friend.

“I believe that’s 8 points for me now,” Marinette said with a triumphant beam for passing his score. 

“No fair, this was my idea. Now you’re making me look bad,” he chuckled, stooping to pick up an empty soda can. “Go long.” 

Marinette jogged backwards as the can arced overhead, nearly stumbling as she caught it in her bin. Their laughter echoed between the walls of the channel as Adrien threw his arms up.

“And now we’re tied again,” Marinette said, but Adrien placed his hands on his hips.

“What? That shot was worth at least 3 points,” he said with a huff. 

“No way! I’ve made some just as good as that one,” she shot back, squaring her shoulders under his playful glare.

“Ice cream! Get your ice cream!” Andre called from the bridge above them, and Adrien smirked.

“Fine, maybe not three points, but how about two points and some ice cream?” He offered.

“Deal.”

Dumping their bins in nearby trash cans, the two climbed the steps to meet the gathering crowd around Andre’s ice cream stall. Couples took turns receiving their personalized concoctions, tailored to be the perfect blend for their love as Andre was known for, but when Adrien and Marinette made it to the front, he gave them a knowing smile.

“Ah, Marinette and Adrien! Such fun clothes for two good friends, I will have to form blends to match,” he said.

“We’re doing some volunteer work cleaning up trash for a school club,” Marinette explained while he prepared their cones. 

“You two look just like superheroes,” Andre remarked.

“That’s the idea,” Adrien said then, casting Marinette a sly grin, added, “If you ask me, she’s way more heroic than I am.”

“Stop,” Marinette laughed, shoving his shoulder. 

“Well, a pair of superhero partners need super blends. For the heroine I have black sesame with a scoop of strawberry, and for her daring hero, I have green tea and lemon.”

“Thanks, Andre.” They waved before retreating to a bench along the Seine, and Adrien’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Only fifteen minutes before his Chinese lesson.

“We made some good progress,” Adrien said, ignoring the timer counting down in his head. 

“Yeah, I think cleaning up the entire Seine was a bit ambitious for one afternoon, but this area looks nicer,” Marinette agreed with a yawn. 

She was always tired lately, and Adrien trailed his gloved fingers along the intricate stitching on his thigh. All of their costumes must have taken a lot of time, but she managed to make them all within a week. How often did Marinette stay up all night in the pursuit of helping someone else? 

“Can I ask you something?” Adrien said, and Marinette tilted her head to one side, licking ice cream from her tiny spoon. “About what you said the other day…How do you find time to help so many people?”

She contemplated it a while, tapping her lip with the spoon as they stared across the murky water. “I dunno. I just…do. People count on me, so I always try my best to help.”

“Doesn’t it get exhausting?” 

She pursed her lips and shrugged. “I guess sometimes, yeah, but I don’t mind. I’m happy to help, and I don’t want to let anyone down.”

“It’s not wrong to take time for yourself, ya know,” he said, turning to face her. “When does Marinette get to relax?”

“I guess I…” Her eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t know.”

Adrien opened his mouth to speak, but the buzz of her phone cut him off. 

“Oh! I promised Rose I’d help her with her scrapbooking project,” she said, standing up. “Um, great work today.”

“Yeah, sure,” Adrien said, biting his lip before standing and grabbing her wrist. “Marinette.” She turned to him, dark lashes fluttering against her mask. “You deserve some down time too, ya know. Don’t burn yourself out.”

She searched his expression for a moment then smiled. “Thanks, Adrien.”

Seeming unsure at first, she rocked back on her heels then stretched up to kiss his cheek. He touched the spot as she trotted off, chewing his lip thoughtfully. At first, he thought this partnership would give him more insight on Marinette, but so far, she was still an enigma. 

***

Adrien sat at his desk the next day, staring down at the lucky charm Marinette gave him. His fingers drummed on his thigh, his mind whirling. Something hadn’t sat right with him since this club started, and he couldn’t place his finger on what it was. Marinette had always been a puzzle to him that he couldn’t quite crack, and their last conversation replayed in his mind, perplexing him more and more each time. 

Marinette was an amazing friend, and he was starting to think that was the problem. It wasn’t that her looking out for others bothered him, quite the opposite. He admired that about her. Marinette always put her friends first no matter how much it inconvenienced her, and it made him wonder: If Marinette was always everyone else’s hero, then who was her hero? The person who would always go to bat for her when she needed it. Who cheered her up on bad days and brought her cookies when she needed a pick-me-up? 

“Are you going to keep staring at that all day?” Plagg asked, floating overhead, and Adrien blinked out of his trance. 

“Plagg, who do you think Marinette turns to when she needs someone?” Adrien asked, and his kwami sank down onto the desk.

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about for the last 20 minutes?” He asked with a hint of exasperation. 

“Well, Marinette started this whole club just so her friends wouldn’t be sad about losing their superpowers, and she’s always doing stuff like that for everyone,” Adrien said, resting his chin on his fist. “She never asks for anything in return, and I have to wonder if she has anyone she trusts like that, and if she doesn’t, why can’t that someone be me?”

“Don’t tell me you’re falling for another girl. I thought this one was just a friend?” Plagg leaned his head back with a groan, and Adrien rubbed the space behind his ears with a chuckle.

“She is just a friend. A wonderful, amazing friend, and I want her to have someone to turn to when she needs help like she does for everyone else,” Adrien said. He trailed his fingers over the beads of his charm before standing up. “Come on. There’s someone I want to talk to.”

***

“Thanks for meeting me.”

Adrien smiled at Alya, gesturing to the empty seat across from him at the small round table. The café was tiny, and a bit secluded, but that’s why Adrien liked it. No one would ever expect to find him there, making it the perfect place for a private conversation. 

“No problem, what’s up?” Alya asked, accepting a scone as Adrien scooted a plate closer to her.

“I wanted to ask you something. It’s about Marinette,” he said, and this seemed to pique her interest.

“Yeah?”

“Well, you’re her best friend, so you probably know her better than anyone…” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, and Alya shrugged.

“We’re really tight, but sometimes I swear that girl leads a double life. She’s always rushing all over the place. Why do you ask?” 

“I’ve just been thinking. She and I have gotten to spend a lot of time together since we started this club, and she’s always looking for ways to help other people,” Adrien said, swirling his coffee with a stirrer. “I never realized how much she sacrifices for everyone else.”

“Marinette’s just like that. She’s a good person,” Alya said with a smile. “I mean, she looks out for everyone. Rose, Juleka, me, you-”

“Me?” Adrien tilted his head to the side. 

“Well, yeah, she’s done some stuff for you,” Alya said.

“Like what?”

“Uhh, ya know, just stuff.” Alya shifted in her seat under his inquisitive stare before sighing. “Okay, okay, but don’t tell her I told you because she’s really weird about telling people this stuff…So, you remember when you lost your dad’s book, and he pulled you out of school then the book just kind of showed up again?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, apparently Marinette went digging through trash cans to find it so that you could come back to school. She even made up some cover story to tell your dad so he wouldn’t be mad at you,” Alya said. “Oh, and I know this is probably gonna be a bummer, but that scarf you got for your birthday that you thought was from your dad? It was actually Marinette who made it for you.”

“Wait, I’ve worn that scarf around her like a dozen times. She never said anything.” Adrien shook his head. 

“I told her to tell you, but she didn’t want to ruin it for you because you seemed really happy to have gotten a gift from your dad.” Adrien sat back in his chair and pursed his lips.

“I never realized those things,” he murmured.

“She didn’t do any of it to win your praise. She did it because she cares about you,” Alya said, and Adrien bit his lip.

“I want to do something. Will you help me?” 

[exhilarationplantation]

My Self-Publishing Story

Has self-publishing been worth it? My short answer is yes. My long answer includes the process of "going for it", revising and revising, the cost, and dealing with the entrepreneurial side i.e. the having to wear many hats and need to self-promote your own creative work.

I started putting together the poems in my now self-published chapbook "Deskaril: 5 Stations in Verse" with every intention of working with a local publisher. It would definitely have helped me share the load of expenses, coordination with suppliers, and marketing efforts.

But my attempts were met with either rejection - something I totally understand because my work may not be for their market - or no response at all, which is just bad business.

After a few workshops where friends and former professors reviewed my work so I could think on how to revise them, make them more full-bodied, I came to a point where I felt my work was substantial enough to merit either a good editor from a known publisher or to begin the process of self-publishing. But there were no responses from traditional publishers.

So the choice was clear - I should self-publish. The first step was to work with a designer. I had eyed one designer friend but her schedule and my budget just never matched.

It was thanks to this leadership and coaching course I was taking for my digital marketing job that I found encouragement to "make things happen".

I changed designers, I met with another friend (thank you, Juju Gosingtian!) who had actually been there when some of the poems were first drafted. The timing matched and we got to make the budget work. I enjoyed the process of measuring sheets of bond paper to different book sizes to see how they would actually translate for my book.

(Photo by Apple Hermino)

I worked to not be the annoying client because I know what's that like as a creative. But I need to admit that there were hiccups like me not realizing I had to write/get parts of the book other than the actual poems: blurbs from other people, table of contents, title page, acknowledgements, copyright page.

Then there was the matter of deciding on a printer and/or someone to help with getting an ISBN. Some printers didn't respond to me, some were only available while I was at work. Some also didn't help with ISBNs.

On ISBNs, I had contacted the National Library and while their steps were clear, you had to process the application in person and their communication led me to believe I had to get another document from the DTI even if I was self-publishing.

And then I found sir Vic Lo and his team at Books on Demand. Not only were they located in Ortigas near my home and office but they helped with ISBNs too. Sir Vic also showed me their samples and they included poetry books.

In terms of the price, I have to admit it took some timing between my Christmas bonus and moving to a new role at work. These actually helped a lot so, I'm grateful to StraightArrow.

It was a crazy milestone when I picked up the books. I left the office, took a Grab to the printers and picked them up. They opened one of the 5 packs of 40 books to show me. My boyfriend met me at the printers to help me carry the books. I didn't look at them until 3 days later when I had to sell some at the Gandang-ganda sa Sariling Gawa fair for women creators.

What came after that, is another story. But I'm sharing the updated skeletal process that another friend shared with me in case any writers here are on the verge of self-publishing. I hope these help with your creative journey.

Write, edit, revise your manuscript.

Write your table of contents, title page, acknowledgements, copyright page with a blank space for ISBNs.

Decide on your book’s size and layout.

Apply the size and layout on your own with help from a designer

Have your ISBN number made (optional but it adds legitimacy). Some links on ISBNS below: http://web.nlp.gov.ph/nlp/?q=node/645 http://116.50.242.167:81/web/BSD/NLP-048.pdf http://116.50.242.167:81/web/BSD/NLP-049.pdf

Find printer, better if they also help with ISBNs.

Negotiate with printer over costs.

Finalize layout (printer might have specific needs) and send to printer.

Pay. Some printers charge Php 35K for 100 copies and others P28k for 200 copies depending on your size, paper and color options.

See proof, send in edits if any.

Get your stacks of books.

Set up launch plans.

Scream and die.

If you're in Singapore, you can buy a copy of "Deskaril: 5 Stations in Verse" from Books Actually. If you're in Metro Manila, you can get it from Studio Soup Zine Library in Cubao.

[tessmontyart]

2018 Year In Review

Another year, another review 💕(I actually typed most of this up before 2019 and then got distracted, whoops)

To put things short, 2018 has been AWESOME :D Exhausting and fast, but awesome.

I started it off pretty uncertain how things were going to go, dreading it would be a repeat of 2017′s boring TAFE courses and endless job rejections. But the miracle happened - a 2D animation studio opened up near me, I applied, did an animation test and got the job!

The job was a contract from 1st of April - 21st of December, so I spent the majority of my year going to work to animate characters for a really crazy but hilarious new kids show called Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena, due to air mid 2019 :) 

It was honestly the most fun job I have ever had and I can’t wait for the next project! 🎉 I have never been this exhausted in my life, though. 😅I had already booked a whole bunch of conventions before I got the job, and didn’t want to cancel them so I was working nonstop - Animation during the day and intensive convention prep every night. 

I also had the bright idea of creating a full colour 26 page comic -with a tight deadline - so I was madly working to the point I didn’t even have time for dinner half the time :’) I am sort of happy with the comic, but also kind of wish I never had the idea in the first place. 😅

I tabled at a ton of conventions; Melbourne Supanova, Central Coast ComiCon, Other Worlds Zine Fair, Sydney Supanova, SMASH and Canberra Gamma Con. If next year doesn’t go so well on the job side of things I’m hoping to add a few more conventions to that list - Brisbane Supanova, Oz Comic Con and Animaga to name a few. I’ve already booked Sydney Madman Anime Festival!

2018 was the year my partner and I celebrated our 4th year together, and he never fails to amaze me with his continuous love and support. I was too sick to attend the first day of SMASH, so he set up and ran the whole stall for me while I stayed at home. Same with Sydney Supanova, I was too bogged down in animation work and couldn’t afford to take the Friday off, so he set up and ran the stall for me on Friday, then we ran the stall together on the weekend. He also tended to my every need when I broke my toe, cooked all my meals when I was busy with work and even packaged + posted all my Etsy orders every day because I was always working during post office hours. He listened to all the problems I was having with my stall setup and helped make shelves and decorations to make it look and function better. I was getting stressed because my desk space was too small, BAM he bought me a brand new desk with plenty of storage. I was getting stressed that I had so much on my convention to-do-list and couldn’t keep track of all my project ideas, BAM, he sets up a whiteboard and helps me brainstorm everything so I can keep track of all my thoughts and ideas and what to prioritise for future conventions. I didn’t even ask him to do any of this, he just loves to help me and make me happy and I am forever blissed and happy to be able to spend my life with such a wonderful human! 

(Home made High Tea I made for him on Valentines Day) 

Arsty Highlilghts / accomplishments:

🌸I designed 9 cute Houseki no Kuni acrylic charms which have been doing really well at conventions!

🌸I also drew a cute series of ‘Sleepy Gem’ Houseki no Kuni / Steven Universe holographic prints, which I’m quite proud of 😊

🌸I created my 2nd enamel pin design, which already needed 2 reorders because they were so popular! ;w; I never knew I could make something that so many people love *sob* I’ve already planned to make these into a series! (already designed some deer ones, and thinking of doing foxes next ^_^ )

🌸I also tried getting gold foil prints done for the first time, which was pretty cool! I got the american sizes mixed up though so I might try for the bigger size next time :) (grainy photo cause its a screenshot from a video)

🌸I’ve been taking steps to make my stall look more ‘professional’, and got a really neat wooden sign made for me by my friend as_sweet_as_jasmine!

🌸I’ve started revamping my favourite series of posters - the Eevee Gijinka girls :) I plan to have them all done and ready for 2019s conventions! 

🌸This was the year I got an iPad, so I could do digital art on-the-go. Honestly its helped me so much, and I can’t wait to be able to use it more (sorta didn’t get a chance to touch it while i was working!)

🌸I got Copic Markers for my birthday so I had a whole new medium to play with! These mixed with using a brush pen for inking really make my inktobers pop and I’m eager to draw more with them  :) 

🌸Speaking of Inktober, it was a huge accomplishment for me to put effort into a decent artwork every day this year! Usually theres a few dud ones when I lacked inspiration, but I somehow managed to make it work ;w; So when it came time to printing the books, theres 31 illustrations rather than 25 like the others :) Also the whole rainbow theme idea came from how cool I think it would look flipping through a rainbow book - so I managed to make that happen and couldn’t be happier!

🌸I passed 1000 sales on Etsy!! 😱As well as 1000 followers on instagram! Crazy right??

General 2018 highlights

🌸2018 was the year one of my best friends got married! I made cute little clay wedding cake toppers for her :)

🌸The year Owl City’s 7th album Cinematic came out!! All the tracks are so GOOD and exactly the sound all us hootowls were longing for. Also Be Brave is a tearjerker, in a good way. What an amazing human Abbey is to Adam <3 

🌸The year Spyro Reignited Trilogy came out!! It’s absolutely amazing, and I love every second of it. Every time I play it I just can’t help but stand there looking around at every detail because everything is just so gorgeous *_* And the nostalgia is so real.

🌸Not exactly a highlight but the year Tumblr went NSFW free, and lost hundreds of thousands of users 😂I’m still here though. Got a dumb tradition to keep up ya know.

🌸The year my work had a hilarious Christmas party where we had to dress up as a character from Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena. It was the first time I actually put effort into a cosplay by myself 😂(possibly the last) (wont put a photo up for embarrassing reasons)

🌸the year I broke my toe for the first time xD;; definitely not a highlight but a first! I couldn’t walk for weeks! it sucked!!! T__T

🌸The year my friend successfully funded his kickstarter for his own cartoon ‘Nurry Brothers Adventure World’ :D So proud of him. I’m gonna help him animate!

🌸The year Lano and Woodley reunited with their amazing show ‘Fly’!! I loved it so much I saw it twice :D 

🌸The year I tried doing Halloween for the first time - I bought a bunch of lollies and chocolates and decorations on my letterbox/door to let people know I was participating. I got 2 different groups of people at the door, 5 people all up 😂More than I expected tbh!

🌸I tried Ruby chocolate for the first time! It was ok .. just kinda tasted like berry yoghurt flavoured white chocolate though ;w; 

SO! What’s coming for 2019?

I’m not really sure at the moment, but I have high hopes for Cheeky Little Studios (the animation company I worked for) - so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if any of their next projects get concrete start dates :) I’m not as terrified of the year as I usually am when its just one big question mark. I know I can make decent money through conventions and commissions in the meant time so I’ll just continue doing what I love! 

LAST YEAR I SAID:

“I am crossing my fingers for an animation job I applied for a while ago” - I GOT IT! :D

“I plan to do even more conventions. Hopefully I can get into Oz Comic Con!" - didn’t end up applying because I was busy with the job, but keen to try for 2019 :)

"I’m keen to apply for like Animaga in Melbourne, as well as Madman Anime Fest in Brisbane and Melbourne.” - didn’t end up doing so for the same reason above, but that might change this year :)

“I also want to make a lot more non-fandom things for market stalls, as well as a comic and zines!” - I made the comic, as well as 3 inktober zines and a cute ‘if I fits I sits’ cat zine! As well as a bunch of cute original enamel pin ideas and my whole inktober was original art :D 

“Hopefully I’ll hit 1k followers on fb/ig? :D that will make me feel important lol” - I hit 1k on instagram!! I felt very important xD

“I’m also hoping to go on a holiday this year." - I didn’t, for job reasons ... buuut I’m booked in for a cruise in Italy / Greece this September that I’m extremely excited for!

“PLEASE BE KIND 2018, I’M BEGGING YOU 😱” - You were very very kind to me, 2018. 2019, please follow suit! 

(man this is the 7th year of review I’ve done. Can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr this long 😅)

[2017] [2016] [2015] [2014] [2013] [2012]