#Holidays and Happy Endings 2019

[luckyshinyhunter]

🎄🌈🎁Time to rewatch the gay Santa Claus movie again!🎁🌈🎄

[fleckficgirl]

Arthur Under the Mistletoe 🎄

Summary: You throw a party on Christmas Eve that doesn’t go as planned...but in the very best of ways. Extremely fluffy oneshot and the title speaks for itself :)

Warnings: mental illness

Word Count: 2087

Notes: I was inspired by @jokerownsmysoul​‘s recent post about who she’d kiss under the mistletoe. Obviously, I’m choosing Arthur Fleck as well! Be sure to listen along to the Christmas album hyperlinked in the story, too. Hope you enjoy ❤️❤️

“This is a disaster!” you wailed. “Why did I think anyone would ever come to my party?”

Your tear-filled eyes finally overflowed and you buried your face in your hands.

You realized what a sight you must be: young woman in a sparkly pink party dress and white heels, sitting in her own empty apartment, crying unconsolably...and on Christmas Eve, no less. 

Throwing this party was an idea you’d discussed with your therapist a couple weeks prior. You hadn’t thrown a party since childhood, but the idea had sparked your imagination. Deciding you were going to be more outgoing and invite people over for the first time since you moved to Gotham six months ago had gotten your creative juices flowing. 

You'd invited everyone on the eighth floor, including some of the neighbors downstairs you'd chatted with a couple of times. Now you laughed ruefully at yourself for having gotten so excited about decorating the apartment, planning a menu, music and games....only to be stood up by everyone at your own party.

This gathering was supposed to make you feel less alone. But now you felt more lonely than ever. 

You glanced around your festive living room and kitchen. You’d decorated the walls with Christmas garland. A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra was playing on the record player. A full bowl of punch sat in a large, untouched crystal bowl on the coffee table, along with cookies, cake, chips and finger sandwiches. 

And mistletoe. You’d bought mistletoe and placed it over the front door. You’d also gotten dressed up and put makeup on (which wasn’t the easiest thing to do when dealing with depression). But the party had been set to start at seven and it was now a quarter past eight. The writing was on the wall: no one was coming. 

You stood up from the sofa, figuring it was time to start cleaning up. Dejectedly, you made your way over to the record player and turned it off, knowing the joyful, nostalgic tunes would only depress you further. 

A small knock at the door made you jump out of your skin. You froze. Had you actually heard that, or was it your imagination? Afraid of what might be on the other side, you tiptoed to the door and peered through the peephole. 

Was that....Arthur Fleck? From 8J down the hall?

You'd run into him a couple of times in the elevator, but only spoken once, during the garbage strike earlier that year. He was shy and sweet. And beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that you’d gotten completely tongue tied around him...had found yourself blathering some incoherent nonsense about how pretending that the streets smelled like pine needles - your favorite scent - was the only thing keeping you sane through the strike. 

Deep in the back of your mind you'd hoped he would show up tonight. You wiped the tears from your eyes - not wanting him to see you see you upset - and opened the door.

The sight of him now almost made your heart leap into your throat, and you had to remind yourself to breathe. Arthur was wearing a crisp blue cardigan, and his beautiful brown hair was combed back in loose curls. He’d dressed up for the party and looked even more handsome than you’d remembered. 

“Hi, Arthur,” you squeaked.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.” Arthur held up a small wrapped gift with a bow on it. “Sorry I’m late. I had a gig that ended at seven and raced back over here to change first.��

“Don’t be sorry,” you replied, letting him inside. “You’re...actually the only one who showed up.” 

Arthur stepped into your living room and spun around, surprised. “I’m the only one here?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, trying not to break into tears again. “So if you don’t wanna stick around, I understand.”

“But everything looks so beautiful.” Arthur pointed at the garland on the walls. “And you look...especially nice tonight.” He stepped over to the record player. “I love this album. Do you mind if I put it on?”

You sniffed. “Wait...you mean...you wanna stay?”

“Only if you don’t mind having me.”

You shook your head. You were still reeling with disappointment - this wasn’t at all the party you’d imagined - but you were grateful that at least one person had showed up. Even more grateful that that person was Arthur. 

“Please stay,” you responded, a small smile spreading over your face. “I’d love it if you stayed.” 

Arthur beamed and turned the record player back on.

“Can I get you some punch?” you offered, moving towards the coffee table. 

“Sure!” His eyes lit up, almost glittering. “Except, if it has alcohol in it I really shouldn't mix that with my medications...”

“Nope, alcohol-free,” you smiled as you poured him a glass. “And feel free to help yourself to any of the snacks.” 

Arthur took the glass from you and sat next to you on the sofa. “What made you want to throw a Christmas party?”

“Well,” you mulled the question over. “I've been feeling kinda down...kinda lonely. I have some...problems with depression.”

“I know what that feels like,” Arthur said. “To feel lonely, I mean. And sad.” 

“I can get extra sad around the holidays,” you continued. “And I couldn’t fly home to see my family this year. So I thought...maybe I could invite people over. Maybe I’m not the only one who has a hard time at Christmas.” 

"Well I’m glad you threw the party. And I'm really glad you invited me,” Arthur smiled, shyly placing his hand over yours. "When I got your invitation, I knew there was no way I'd miss it.”

“Well, I’m sorry it’s not much of a party,” you lamented. “I guess it's official: all my neighbors hate me. Except you.”

“They don't hate you,” Arthur countered. “They probably just had other plans.”

You paused, taking a thoughtful sip of punch. “You're right,” you nodded. “That's black and white thinking. My therapist tells me I tend to do that. Just because they didn't show up tonight doesn't mean they hate me.”

“You see a therapist?” Arthur cocked his head to one side. “So do I. But all she ever asks me is if I’ve been having any negative thoughts.”

“All I have are negative thoughts!” you joked. Arthur laughed.

“Do you want to open your gift?” he asked. “You don’t have to,” he added quickly. “I read in an etiquette book I got from the library that you're not supposed to open gifts in front of other guests at a party.”

“Well, seeing as how there are no other guests!” you quipped before pausing to raise a sly eyebrow at him. “You checked an etiquette book out from the library?”

“Yeah,” Arthur smoothed back his hair self-consciously. “Well...a party etiquette book. The truth is, I've never been invited to a Christmas party before. Or any parties, really. I wanted to make sure I didn't mess anything up.” 

Giddy at the thought of him sweetly taking the time to research how to behave at your party, you pulled his small gift off the coffee table and held it in both hands. The wrapping was a candy cane pattern and the bow was a simple green shiny ribbon. In that moment you felt that you'd never seen anything so beautiful in your life.

“You wrapped this yourself?”

“Yeah,” he replied sheepishly. “I’m not that good at wrapping, but...I hope you like it.” 

“I love it!” you blurted.

“You don’t even know what it is yet!” Arthur laughed.

Carefully, you peeled away the scotch tape on the side and tore back the wrapping to reveal a small, green candle. Snow-Covered Pines, the label read. 

“I remembered that one time you and I talked in the elevator. You said you liked the scent. Anyway, I saw it at the drugstore and...I thought of you.”

“You remembered that?” Your heart fluttered, feeling embarrassed by the memory all over again, but also touched. “Thank you, Arthur. I love it so much.” 

Arthur was an extremely easy person to talk to. Conversation with others wasn’t something that always came naturally to you, but with him it felt effortless. The next time you glanced back up at the clock, you were shocked to see it was almost ten. 

“Should I put on another record?” Arthur offered as the last song on the Frank Sinatra album spun to an end.

“Sure!” 

Arthur stood up. “You have all the greats here,” he hummed as he mused over your record collection. He selected Nat King Cole’s Christmas album, carefully placing the record onto the turntable before sliding Frank's back into its sleeve. 

“This is my favorite Christmas song!” you clasped your hand to your chest as the familiar notes of the first song poured over your ears. 

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

“Mine too,” Arthur paused, looking shy. 

“We have a lot in common, Arthur,” you beamed. 

“Did you...did you want to dance?” he asked in a soft voice. “With me?”

You felt your heart start to pound again. “Yes...” you answered. “Except I’m really bad at it. I might step on your feet.” 

“Well,” Arthur said. “There’s no one here to see you be bad at it. Except me.” 

He extended his hand and helped you up off the sofa, pulling you in close as you moved around your living room together. 

“Wow, Arthur,” you murmured after a moment, surprised at the grace in his movements. “You’re a really good dancer.” 

“I know,” he said with mock overconfidence. You laughed and swatted his shoulder. He dipped you. The song ended, but he didn’t let you go. You never wanted him to, wishing this night - the same evening you’d been so eager to forget just a couple hours earlier - would never come to an end. 

“Hey,” Arthur hummed softly after you’d danced a few more songs. “I'm having a great time...but I should really get back to my mother. I’ve gotta help her get ready for bed.”

You paused, disappointed to see him go, but more than happy that things had turned out exactly as they had tonight.

“I had a really wonderful evening, Y/N. I'm glad I got the chance to talk to you.”

“Me too,” you replied. “If everyone else had shown up, I don't know if you and I would have gotten to talk as much as we did.”

You walked Arthur to the front door. He stopped and turned to face you once more. You paused before moving to open the door for him.

“Hey, Arthur,” you said in a small voice. “It looks like we're standing under the mistletoe.”

Arthur blinked and looked up. "Oh," he swallowed, a blush spreading across his face.

“Did your book say what people are supposed to do when they’re under the mistletoe together?” 

Arthur nodded, throwing his eyes to the floor. “Yeah," he said, “they’re supposed to kiss each other.”

“Are you gonna kiss me, Arthur?”

“I'd like to...” he hummed. “But only...only if you want me to.”

“I want you to."

He was shy at first, trembling slightly as he brought his lips to yours. But once you were united in the embrace, the both of you seemed to relax. His arms wrapped around you, his hand moving to delicately cup the side of your face. Arthur’s lips were even softer than you had fantasized. His skin was warm, his cologne flooded your senses. 

“Merry Christmas, Arthur,” you blushed as the two of you came apart. Your mind was spinning and you felt weak in the knees. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.” His eyes were closed, slowly fluttering open as he took your hands into his.

"Maybe....maybe after your mom goes to bed, you could come back and...we could watch The Murray Franklin Show on TV together."

Arthur stared back at you. “You watch the Murray Franklin show?” he asked, eyes wide and incredulous. “I’ve been watching him for years.” 

“So have I. It's his Christmas special tonight, you know.”

“I’d love to watch the holiday special with you.” Arthur’s eyes sparkled. "I'll come back after I finish up at home and we can watch it together.” 

You opened the door for him, lingering in the doorway as he stepped into the hall.

"Oh, and...Arthur?"

"Yes?" he paused, turning to face you.

“Thank you.”

Arthur smiled. "What for?"

"For making my Christmas so special."

Notes: Wishing you a safe & happy holiday season. Thanks so much for reading ❤️❤️ 

[5sospenguinqueen]

Little League Karting - George Russell x Reader

Summary: Fighting against Lando's big mouth and fans' speculations, George and Yn somehow managed to keep a special moment hidden from the private eye.

Requested: Yes by anon

Warnings: Pregnancy. Swearing, Fluff. Suggestive comments

2023 season. Pinterest pics

F1 Masterlist

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yn_ln just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, alex_albon and others

yn_ln happy anniversary, georgie. here’s to 5 years together. i can’t wait to have at least 50 more with you 

2,992 comments

georgerussell63 happy anniversary, my darling. i’d spend forever with you on that beach 

alex_albon still can’t believe he went on holiday without me

→ landonorris he stopped loving us 5 years ago 

→ georgerussell63 you know you’re always in my heart

→ yn_ln and this is why @/lilymhe and i are running away together 

→ georgerussell63 but, i thought you loved me

user1 another day, another shirtless george pic

mercedesamgf1 the cutest grid couple 

→ landonorris actually that would be me and carlos

→ danielricciardo no it’s me and max

→ yn_ln stop stealing my moment 

charlesleclerc @/georgerussell63 as director of the gpda, i would like you to hear my complaint against your girlfriend posting shirtless pics of you. it has blinded me, thus hindering my ability to drive on sunday

→ yn_ln maybe if you looked at the track more than yourself in the mirror, you would see better

→ charlesleclerc now i’m complaining that she’s hurted my feelings

pierregasly it wouldn’t be a photo dump without shirtless george

user2 so no ring?

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yn_ln just posted

liked by mercedesamgf1, roscoelovescoco and others

yn_ln my weekend boys

3,850 comments

user3 who’s your favourite

→ yn_ln bono and roscoe 

→ georgerussell63 whoa now. i’ll remember this energy when you want me to stroke your back as you fall asleep

→ mercedesamgf1 toto said he would like to talk to you on thursday

→ yn_ln the boss man knows he has a special place in my heart?

→ mercedesamgf1 the question mark makes that doubtful - toto

lilymhe okay but the fit is serving 

→ yn_ln had to squeeze myself into those jeans. think i need to stop sneaking a macca’s when george isn’t around

→ lilymhe so long as we can keep our cheeky waffle sundays 

→ yn_ln always ;)

→ georgerussell63 excuse me

landonorris fake caption, alex and i aren’t here

→ danielricciardo i think you’ll find i’m her favourite

→ yn_ln my favourite doesn’t race anymore :( 

→ georgerussell63 sweetheart, kimi hasn’t raced for over a year

mercedesamgf1 lewis isn’t happy that you chose the photo that makes him look small

→ yn_ln i haven’t yet mastered photoshop. please pass my condolences to lewis for showing him his actual height 

user4 my favourite thing about yn’s race weekend posts is seeing how hot she looks in her race day fits 

→ user5 yes because she spends fri and sat in Mercedes merch and then SERVES on sundays 

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formula1 have added a new YouTube video

user6 not them still being referred to as 2019 rookies like it’s not their 5th year on the grid 

user7 did anyone catch what alex said at the end that made george and lando laugh?

→ user8 no i swear it was edited so we couldn’t hear 

user9 did you guys see the way alex and george looked at each other? they know something! 

→ user10 and the way lando giggled after like he’d done something wrong

user11 not george trying to save himself by saying she’s always in his heart 

→ user12 if i was yn, i’d be messaging him saying i caught the ick

→ user13 no because even george looked weirded out after saying it

→ user14 lando and alex immediately taking the piss out of him

→ user15 didn’t he say that to alex and lando once?

user16 lando definitely said something he wasn’t supposed to

→ user17 the fear in george and alex’s eyes before they tried to play it off

→ user18 and we can all tell that little league line was bullshit he made up on the spot 

user20 okay so we’re all thinking that one of the grid are having a baby right?

→ user21 the only question is who?

user22 but aside from his brief blunder, the way george spoke about yn in this 

→ user23 honestly my goal in life is to have a love like theirs

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yn_ln just posted

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and others

yn_ln don’t mind me, just showing off my extensive hoodie collection

3,002 comments 

user1 everyone relax, she’s alive

user2 girl, you can’t vanish for 3 months and then show up just to post hoodies?

user3 i love yn but i cannot pretend that this is acceptable. she abandoned us for months and no apology

user4 no babe, we need you back in the paddock serving face and body 

landonorris oi, i’ve given you like five and you can’t be bothered- the audacity 

danielricciardo DR3 dominance, baby! 

carlossainz55 smooth operator

user5 love that she posts a lewis one, not a george one

→ user6 i find it odd. she hasn’t posted him in a while and he’s not liked the post 

→ user7 she only posted it 5 hours ago, give the man time

→ user8 but he’s usually always first and no comment?

charlesleclerc wait, i didn’t realise you were taking options from other drivers. can i add to the collection?

→ yn_ln only if it has ‘just an incident’ on it

maxverstappen1 i’ve got one with giant pockets so you can put all your snacks in it

→ yn_ln ladies and gentleman we have a winner! 

→ alex_albon i can’t believe he won

→ yn_ln yeah well he tempted me with pickles and peanut butter

→ oscarpiastri together?

→ yn_ln is that a judging tone! 

→ oscarpiastri no! please don’t cry again

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user9 um why is this hashtag trending. let’s not speak this into existence

user10 okay some of you calling us crazy but george and yn are one of the more public couples and now we get nothing?

→ user11 i need an interviewer to ask him about her because the way his eyes light up when he talks about her can’t lie to us

→ user12 yes! if the eyes are sad then we know they’re over

albonooo lily asked me to tell you to stop licking the screen

→ lightningmclerc oh so THOSE hormones have kicked in

→ letsgolando they never left, how do you think she ended up in this situation 

→ ynoncrack i am not a horndog! 

→ princessgeorge well…

chili55 please don’t have another child if this is what we have to deal with 

→ ynoncrack have i really been that bad 🥺 george said i haven’t been that hormonal

→ kiksgomes what is wrong with you, carlos! we just got her to stop crying

→ princessgeorge oh no, what’s up, honey?

→ golflils she was upset because your curls looked amazing and she couldn't run her hands through them

→ ynoncrack oh my god, i am a horndog! 

letsgolando all i’m saying, baby russell better be mega adorable after all this

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georgerussell63 and yn_ln just posted

liked by alex_albon, landonorris and others

georgerussel63 baby russell was born happy and healthy two weeks ago. whilst we settle into life as new parents, please enjoy some baby bump pictures to tide you over

10,499 comments

alex_albon i’m so happy for the two of you and can’t wait to meet mini russell

→ lilymhe you’re just glad yn won’t be crying on facetime anymore

→ alex_albon that too 

user1 okay but the hand placement wow

→ user2 we all know how they ended up here then lol

lewishamilton much love to the new parents ❤️

user3 oh so the complete opposite of a breakup then 

user4 hang on a second. so not only was yn pregnant but they've had the baby? parents for real?

user5 how did gossip girl george russell keep this from us

→ user6 especially when he saw us all theorising his breakup

→ georgerussell63 trust me, it was hard

→ yn_ln he wrote a bunch of tweets defending us on a fake account

charles_leclerc congratulations george and yn. i cannot wait to meet the little one

→ alexandrasaintmleux he's already had a bunch of baby ferrari onesies made

→ alex_albon over my dead body will my godbaby wear those!

williamsracing congratulations. what happy news

→ mercedesamgf1 you can’t have him back

→ yn_ln neither of you can have him over the next month. he’s all mine and bean’s

francisca.cgomes free my girl! those boobs belong to me

→ yn_ln always

→ georgerussell63 @/pierregasly please come get your girl. she's trying to steal mine 

→ pierregasly she’s right though. you don’t need to be groping her like that on main

→ georgerussell63 oh no one asked you, “tripod” 

landonorris oh, thank god. took you long enough to tell the world he was here. keeping it to myself these past few months was giving me wrinkles

→ user7 they’ve had a boy!!!

→ landonorris crap

→ alex_albon well done mate

→ landonorris but i did so well! 

→ user8 omg so it was george and yn who were expecting when lando made up that bullshit about little league karting

→ landonorris hey! i want to see their kid in a go kart so it wasn’t a total lie

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Tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @leclercsluvs (you mentioned wanting to read this on an ask WEEKS ago and it's taken me forever to write it so i am so sorry!)

[i-like-writing-stuff]

grateful [ five hargreeves x reader ]

“Fancy seeing you here,” You crossed your arms, trying to act natural as the boy before you eyes you curiously.

“In front of the CIA headquarters?” Five mimicked your posture, “Jee, Y/N, fork spotted in the kitchen. What are you doing at my work place?”

You sighed, trying to fight back the urge of rolling your eyes. You were lying to yourself if you wanted to say that Five’s sarcasm actually annoyed you. After all, it was one of the traits you loved about him- surprisingly. You hated to admit it, even to yourself, but even if you were actually waiting for him to talk business, you never once missed an opportunity to meet him.

Especially if you weren’t surrounded by your noisy family. The Hargreeves siblings became your family by choice, and as much as you loved each and every single one of them, you couldn’t help but appreciate deeply the one on one time you got to spend with Five.

“I just got off the phone with Luther,” You said, putting your hands in your pockets, “Viktor got kidnapped, Five.”

As soon as those words eat your lips, you saw Five’s expression go from cocky to shocked, to worried and then to shocked once again. You hated you had to be the one to break these news to him, after six years of peace where all of you managed to live normal lives. You hated that you had to see him worried again for his family’s safety, but you had no other choice.

You all had to reunite to save your loved one.

“I’ll drive,” Five nodded, already realizing that the gang would have to get back together.

You and Five met during the JFK mission in 1963, when both of you were working for the Commission. You only heard of him around the work place, but never actually worked together. The Handler assigned you both for the first time to get the assassination done, but one thing led to another and you accidentally woke up in 2019, in your teen body, alongside him.

The rest is history.

As you got into his car, you watched him as he started the engine in silence. He was deep into thought, obviously worried half to death about his brother. You were as well, since Viktor was his first sibling you warmed up to, and honestly it felt surreal that he was in danger again, after six years.

Six years where nothing, and quite literally nothing out of the ordinary happened. After your third attempt at stopping the apocalypse and the Hargreeves losing their powers, you all moved on with your lives, keeping in touch now and then. All nine of you went separate ways, rebuilding your lives. Allison was back to acting, Klaus was finally sober, Diego and Lila were a family with kids, Viktor was running a bar and Luther was working somewhat as an astronaut. Key word, somewhat.

Five became a CIA agent and you were running a marketing agency, so you really only saw the family on holidays or random gatherings. You and him kept in touch the most. You were happy to say that he was your best friend, but sad that nothing more went on. If you were supposed to be together, you would have been by now.

After all, there was this drunken kiss you shared on the night of Luther’s wedding.

“Shut the fuck up, Hargreeves!” You giggled, pointing a finger m at him, “I respect Delores, I swear I do, but I do not understand why in the world she would put up with your ding dong face, honestly.”

“Oh, spare me the reverse psychology in which your jealousy lays, Y/N,” Five smirked, softly waving away your finger in his face.

You were the only ones left on the dance floor, intoxicated over the safe limit. After the whole family went to sleep, the two of you were still left quite energized. You didn’t know if it was because you were sixty year olds back in your teen bodies, or simply too drunk to realize how hyperactive you were, but you were not about to end the night any time soon.

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment you fell in love with Five, but he definitely could write an entire book of how he grew feelings for you. It all happened at such a slow pace, how could he not? When he first met you in 1963 at the Dealey Plaza, he was immediately taken aback by your quick wit and intellect. He also didn’t think someone who looked so sweet and elegant, like the grandma who would take her grandchildren all the time to fancy restaurants and then bake fresh cookies for them at home, could also be a trained assassin, ready to fight off three people at once wearing dresses and heels.

It was love at first sight for him.

Then, when you kept Delores safe from Hazel and Cha Cha, he realized just how big your heart was. He was completely blown away by the way you held onto the mannequin with one arm, while dodging attacks incoming from both of them.

There was also this moment in 1963 when you held him in your arms after he went on a spree, taking out the entire board of the Commission.

He was so infatuated with every single action of yours, so deeply and intensely in love it was actually pathetic to him, to some degree. Now, as his hands were firmly gripping your waist, swaying your hips in sync to the melody on the speakers, all he wanted to do was feel your lips on his, for a first and last time.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked, as your arms were wrapped around his neck. You didn’t know when you got so close to one another, it was all just so natural.

“Ironically enough, you,” He scoffed, making you roll your eyes;

“Only you could make such a romantic comment and at the same time make me want to stomp on your face, Five,” You said amused, shaking your head in disbelief.

Five laughed, looking into your eyes. In his drunken state, he was not thinking rationally as he usually did anymore. He didn’t know for certain if he’d make it out of the apocalypse this time, and after the two attempts at saving the world, the regret of not tasting you was finally getting to him.

He moved his hands up your sides, resting them on your cheeks at last. Rubbing your face gently, Five leaned in to capture your lips, tasting the alcohol you shared all night. You were relieved to finally feel his touch you so deeply craved over the months spent together, pulling him even closer, as if that was possible.

That led to nowhere, unfortunately, as neither of you ever mentioned it again. Like little stupid kids, all these years you both assumed that the other didn’t remember that part, since no one ever brought it up ever again.

“Viktor will be fine, Five,” You broke the silence, watching as his knuckles turned white while gripping the steering wheel, waiting for the green light.

“I just forgot how fucking stressful all this shit was,” Five sighed, letting go, but not looking at you yet, “So stupid.”

“Hey,” You placed a hand on top of his, “We will rescue him and go back to our lives before, okay? Who knows, maybe it’s not even that serious- maybe it’s just some misunderstanding or a real easy mission. We stopped the apocalypse three times, I think some amateur kidnapping will be a walk in the park, okay? Besides, maybe by the time we get there, Viktor will have already handed their asses to each other.”

Five scoffed amused. You did always manage to be the voice of reason in his life whenever the over-thinking got the best of him.

You didn’t have any idea just how grateful he was for you.

[chiwwydawgdraws]

Happy Halloween, all!

I've been working on this one all month, but I still ended up nearly pulling an all-nighter to finish it so I could upload today. I haven't done a Halloween celebration piece since 2019 (GUH 😓) and with Lost Souls finishing up this year I wanted to give these guys one last big holiday BANG!

The Fazbear's costumes are almost all skins from the FNaF AR game, with Freddy as Dreadbear being the only one that isn't technically a skin. (Yes, yes, I know Blackheart Bonnie is technically a Valentine's Day skin, and the Catarina Chica skin is technically Toy Chica skin but I didn't like the other options provided so I bent the rules a little bit.)

Happy Halloween, everyone! Stay safe tonight, and may you get lots and lots of candy!

[oscar-wilde-thing]

Four years ago I sat in a psychiatrist's office. I was explaining why a certain Cognitive Behavioral Therapy technique felt impossible.

"If I don't think I know how a social interaction is going to work out, if I don't know the pattern, I can't do it."

The Dr nodded, and we moved on.

A few sessions later, she said she didn't think she could work with me anymore.

Great, I thought to myself. I'm being dumped by my therapist.

"I don't think I can work with you, because I think you're autistic."

I literally felt my world shift underneath me.

She explained more, about social interactions, about hyper sensitivity, about pattern recognition and anxiety and early-life academic achievement. I did end up stopping treatment with her, I don't really remember why. But I held that suggestion in my head.

The end of 2019 was rocky- working retail around the holidays is its own special hell, and my grandmother died in December of that year.

Then 2020 happened. COVID and isolation and protests and my workplace unionizing. Through all of that I was reading, and watching videos, and researching. About how autism and neurodivergency presents differently in girls and AFAB people. How the research is incredibly outdated and mostly focused on white, middle class boys. How getting a diagnosis as an adult, let alone an AFAB adult, is a fight.

I kept trucking along, learning new ways to cope. Figuring out that sometimes what I had thought were anxiety attacks was actually sensory overload. That my penchant for spreadsheets and what I called my "encyclopedic nerd brain" were probably hyper fixations.

It took 4 years.

4 years, 8 more mental health professionals, a mental breakdown, a month in residential mental health care, and 5 more months in acute daily mental health care, but today, at 12:55PM, I was officially diagnosed with Autism.

I'm sitting here at my desk weeping because I'm both so happy and so angry. Happy that there's a reason I feel the way I feel, that there's a reason why the world seems so harsh, that there's a reason why I sometimes physically can't talk and a reason why certain foods and sounds and textures make me want to crawl out of my skin. But I'm also so angry that it took 26 years for anyone to see. That it took another 4 years for me to get any answers. That there are countless other little girls and adult AFABS like me out there who feel like they're doing everything they're supposed to but not getting what the world tells them they should be getting.

My life has changed. Or maybe it hasn't changed. Maybe a door has opened that had never been seen before.

I'm not sure how to wrap this up.

I just know that learning more about myself is rarely a bad thing. And now that I know this big piece of who I am, I'll be able to go forward and learn more ways to exist in this world as an autistic person.

[mydearesthrry]

birthday wishes - h.s.

a/n: hi … this is long. it ends abruptly and im v sorry! apologies for my absence,,, enjoy :))

🎀 warnings/cw: nothing but fluff

🐇 pairing: 1dbandmember!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: n/a

summary: every year, Y/N posts something for harry’s birthday. every single year, no matter what.

a/n: pls keep in mind harrys relationship timeline or this wont make as much sense..? ok bye

2012

liked by niallhoran, zaynmalik, and 2,378,615 others

yourinstagram: Happy birthday goof!! Thanks for always tuning my guitars for me. I can’t believe you are 18!!!!!!!!!

view 79,058 comments

harrystyles: Thaaaaaanks. I love youuuu. <3 <3 <3

user1: SHE CALLS HIM GOOF UGGGGHHHHHH

user2: i cant believe that this picture is real

user3: THE HEARTS IN HARRYS COMMENT

niallhoran: no bday post for me?? D:

2013

liked by niallhoran, dakotajohnson, dontshakethepolaroid, and 3,008,263 others

yourinstagram: happy birthday h. u are 19. thats crazy. i owe my life to u thank you for being my best friend— thank you for you. i love u so so much bub :’)

comments on this post have been limited

niallhoran: h day!!! time to celebrattteeeeee!!!!!!

annetwist: love you sweetheart!

harrystyles: I love youuuuuu!!!! Thank you lovebug. <3

zaynmalik: time to get drunk!

2014

liked by niallhoran, zendaya, sabrinacarpenter, and 108,862 others

yourinstagram: its a national holiday!! happy birthday to my best friend, confidant, songwriting partner, and personal pillow. UR FUCKING 20. THATS INSANE. i love u so much pickle :’)

comments on this post have been limited

gemmastyles: old man!!!

harrystyles: Thank you Olive :) Love you tons.

niallhoran: a special lads birthday!

zaynmalik: 🍻

jamescorden: pickle and olive!

2015

liked by arianagrande, wherearetheavocados, and 6,826,728 others

yourinstagram: love you prince boy, happy birthday ❤️

view 198,726 other comments

harrystyles: My favorite person alive. Xx

niallhoran: legal in the states!!!!

user1: his comment is so casual but so cutw i cant 😭😭😭

user2: i am so unstable shes literally posted every time on his birthday for years

user3: NEW PHH CONTENT!!!!!

ynrryupdates: our suspicions were right! she posted again this year ❤️❤️❤️

2016

liked by tomholland2016, liampayne, annetwist, and 5,276,266 others

yourusername: hbd har <3 thank you for everything

view all 99,251 comments

user1: no special note… i think we’re losing them

user2: :( not the same this year

user3: i think she’s holding back now because he’s official with kendall?

harrystyles: Thank you, it was wonderful seeing you. H

user4: this is weird…. harry’s comment isnt sitting right with me…?

gemmastyles: missed your face!!!!!!!!!! love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

2017

liked by harrystyles, selenagomez, marikoluv, and 4,726,629 others

yourinstagram: happy birthday pickle, miss you <3

view all 99,625 comments

annetwist: Missed seeing you! Come back and visit soon ❤️

harrystyles: Thank you Olive. Love you. Miss you more.

gemmastyles: missed my best friend ❤️❤️❤️

user1: are we… are we finally getting them back….

user2: slowly going back to normal………

user3: HES SO DRY 😭

user4: he said love you 😭😭😭😭😭 miss you more 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

2018

liked by harrystyles, taylorswift13, sabrinacarpenter, and 6,276,151 others

yourinstagram: tbt our frat days 🤓 miss you always my bug, happy birthday ❤️ i love love you

view all 71,620 comments

harrystyles: Be home soon, I miss you more than anything. Love you love you love you. Thank you. H x

gemmastyles: I NEED you to come over when you’re back in London!!!!!!!

annetwist: My baby! ❤️🎁🎉

user1: OH WE GOT THEM BACKKKKKK!!!!!!

user2: now that harrys a freeeeeee man we can get ynrry back like weve always dreamed of!

user3: HER bug… im unwell

2019

liked by harrystyles, billieeilish, liampayne, and 4,276,991 others

yourusername: our time now, silly boy. happy birthday to my soulmate, lover, best friend… and everything else in between. i admire everything you do and I feel like the luckiest person alive to have the privilege of knowing you, cherishing you, and caring for u. that being said, i love you i love you i love you so much it hurts. thank you for choosing me. happy birthday pickle ❤️

view all 89,715 comments

harrystyles: There’s no one in this world I love more than you. Thank you, baby. Very grateful for you, Olive. Xxx

jamescorden: FINALLY

billieeilish: thank GOD this has been the hardest secret to keep 😭😭😭😭

sabrinacarpenter: mom n dadddddd

annetwist: My babies ❤️🎂

user1: OH MY FUCKING GOD

user2: STOP I KNEW IT

user3: FINALLLYYYYYYYY

user4: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL MY DAMN LIFE

2020

liked by harrystyles, arianagrande, gemmastyles, and 4,917,899 others

yourinstagram: havent missed a year so why start now? happy birthday h, i love you so much ❥ p.s. ur fiance era looks so good on u ;)

view all 105,918 comments

harrystyles: Thank you. And I agree; I’ve never looked better. ❤️

user1: WHATTTTTT THE FUCK

user2: THEYRE ENGAGED???!!!!!!!!!!

user3: remember in 2013 when they got asked a question on the this is us panel about how they dreamed of proposing/being proposed to and Y/N said in italy… he def proposed when they filmed golden

2021

liked by user1, harrystyles, billieeilish, and 6,818,809 others

yourinstagram: first outing as newlyweds,,, only right to be celebrating pickles birthday too. bug… i trust u implicitly and love you entirely. my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy birthday harry ❤️

comments on this post have been limited

harrystyles: Soulmate. Thank you baby. H

sabrinacarpenter: cats out the bag… mom and dad are married !!!

annetwist: Official daughter ❤️❤️❤️

[rockethorse]

Stocking Stuffer 1/5: A Bajillion Random Painting Recolours

Happy Holidays to all! While I'm proud that last year I finally managed to achieve a longtime goal of sharing a full TS2 Advent Calendar, I'm simply not gonna be able to pull it off this year. Nonetheless, the holidlay spirit has encouraged me to finish up and share a couple of things before the end of the year! I'll be sharing five little gifts over the next few arbitrary days. First up: A BUNCH of Maxis painting recolours.

One recolour each of A/B/C Stroke (yes, I still enjoy playing with these as three separate paintings) using vintage matchbook covers designed by Saul Bass for The Ohio Match Company.

Two recolours +frames for Abstrutionism; "Poppy Cake" by Adolf Fényes (1910), and then this edit of Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth (1948) to include Bella Goth (the original Tumblr poster has deactivated).

A recolour of Anonymous Masterpiece with these two digital paintings by user chestnutroan featuring their farmer Sim and his two alien daughters.

One recolour of the Arghist Soldier with "Friday Nights" by Deborah DeWit (2006), perfect for your novel-enthusiast Sims' reading nook.

One recolour of City Skyline with a fruit & veg painting by Twitter user snail_soup (you can buy a real print of this too if you like it!)

One recolour of the Fourth Element wall scroll with "From Stardust to Stardust - Raccoon" by user ArtOfMienda.

Four Vegetables recoloured with four deliciously juicy tomato paintings by artist Leah Gardner.

Geometry 101 recoloured with a beautiful palette knife painting by Lynn Boggess.

Two recolours of Grilled Cheese (you all know what Grilled Cheese looks like, c'mon); one vintage ad for Hollywood Diet bread which I cleaned/redrew to remove text/graphics, and then "Cloud Rows" by Ivan Eyre (2004).

In The Beginning (+frame) recoloured with "Little Thief" by Courtney / Trash Kitty Art (also available as an affordable IRL print).

Kitten vs. Yarn (+frame) recoloured with this goache painting by user ieafy.

"Until Tonight" by Mark Grantham (2019) slapped on Lady On Red.

Two recolours of Living Room; "Midwestern Summer Fun" by user ink-the-artist (you may wanna zoom in for a surprise), then "Girl On A Swing" (2000) by Andrew Macara.

One recolour of Marketing Print with the Beatles as drawn by other Beatles. I don't remember who drew who because I'm actually not much of a Beatles fan but I thought these sketches were really darling.

In Memory of Johnny Gnome (+frame) recoloured with a piece by Emma Roulette.

A recolour of My First Holiday with art from Twitter user heikala_art.

On Pointed Toes (+frame) recoloured with this digital painting by Twitter user catwheezie.

I fell in love with this Guinness ad so I tweaked it from the photo to fit on the Route 66 poster, then made an accompanying Simlish option.

A single Scruffles recolour (+frame) with this adorable cow illustration by Twitter user poodlewool.

Four recolours of the Sim Noir pop art print; three pieces by Al Parker I found through this Tweet (with some English removed) and then an edit of the original painting to look passingly familiar...

Two recolours (+frames) of Snoozing Enemies; "The Cat on the Pillow" by Adolf von Becker, and "Sleeping Sasha" by Lena Rivo.

Stiller Life (+frame) recoloured with this oil painting of McDonalds by artist Noah Verrier.

Two recolours (+frames) of Stumped Hound; "Shadow" by Tianyi Zhou and "cat falling off table" by user anasauruss.

The Muse recoloured with this Juxtapoz magazine cover by artist Josh Courlas.

And lastly, three recolours of Untitled (the Bella Goth pop art painting) with works by Hiroshi Nagai.

Download All Paintings @ SFS

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #195

1. Hello! I’m hoping you can help me find a fic, or fics as it was a series. In Eden Aziraphale’s wings got clipped because he failed to protect the tree, or he took the blame for the other three guards, and now he’s unable to fly. In the second part Aziraphale has to survive the flood while he’s still unable to fly and at the end a ladder is let down for him and he climbs back up to heaven. That’s so far as I got, but I would really appreciate the help! - @writerosaur

2. Hi! Thank you for all the amazing work you do. I was hoping to look for body swap fic a read a few years back, where crowley finds a tiny Aziraphale particle in his essence and flips out. And turns out Aziraphale also had a lil crowley particle with him. Thanks again! - anon

3. Hello. I'm looking for a fic, it's set during world war 2, Crowley is working for the British government with an alias, it's told from an outsider pov. I forgot to save it while I was reading it and now I can't find it anywhere. Thanks!! - @myspecialhell

4. hello hello hello happy holidays everyone I hope you’re all doing well and thank you so much for everything!!! I am looking for a fic: A/C, might be explicit, and I think the description was kind of magic themed (more specifically sleight of hand), w Crowley’s internal monologue describing his relationship w Az as a coin that u flip between ur fingers "now you see it" "now you don't" (bc sometimes u can see under the Layers bc they falter and then they cover it up again) i think az was running him a bath after the church scene? the fic was longer than that tho… i hope it didn't get deleted, it was p popular iirc and i loved it sm!! thanks in advance i hope u have a wonderful day!!! - anon

5. OH and there’s another fic i lost but that was forever ago (like 2019-2020 probably) it was very popular but i only remember 1 tiny little detail 😭 basically az had just found out/understood that Crowley Loves him (I think) and Crowley was very anxious abt it and they were in the bookshop and he was anxiously pressing the same key/button/numbrr on the telephone/bell or smth I think it was going ding ding ding lol anyway then az came up to him and soothed him I think but anyway maybe it wasn’t a confession and maybe it was just bc they were back in the bookshop after the fire I’m not quite sure anymore. I think it was rated T and it was in the first few pages on ao3 in 2019-2020! I hope this is enough hahah no worries if u can’t find it tho! Hope it wasn’t deleted it was v sweet anyway have a wonderful evening!!!! - anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[sreegs]

do you think the 2019 tumblr acquisition was made on a more optimistic note? In terms of how they thought the site could have been made profitable or at least self-sustaining.

yeah it felt good at the time because tumblr was owned by Verizon. switching hands to a company that was at least aligned with what tumblr does (blogging) and a private company made it feel like Tumblr had a chance to refocus and reprioritize, but Automattic was not a good fit for Tumblr culture

because tumblr was mostly nyc based and had things like, observed public holidays, and an office (this was pre-pandemic). there was this transitional period where tumblr was treated with some exceptions while they adjusted to the Automattic way of things. this strengthened the divide as seasoned Automattic employees saw us as getting special treatment like sub-competitive wages (as compared to absolutely not competitive wages) and a day off during national holidays.

this transitional policy was loosely documented and adhered to, and was unceremoniously ended by a decree from the top that Tumblr no longer has holidays off. i'm not going to say which national holiday triggered this change of heart but, lol, it's a doozy

additionally there were only a handful of automattic people who understood what tumblr was, and much less who understood the vibe of Tumblr's userbase. i know there were at least a few people who thought Tumblr was an analog of wordpress and didnt even know the dashboard existed

Tumblr employees started leaving en masse because their benefits and compensation were cut. Mullenwig's seagull style of management and the general disconnect between Automattic and Tumblr culture accelerated the exodus. I remember reading on Automattic's anonymous employee-only message board (yeah.) employees expressing their happiness that the "lazy overpaid Verizon acqui-hires" (the Tumblr staff, who had lower salaries than other tech companies and never identified as Verizon or Yahoo or anything except Tumblr) were being shed like dead weight and soon it will be Automattic in charge of everything

Also, side note: Automattic is weirdly anti-profanity as an unofficial workplace policy ordained from the CEO. How's that gonna fit with Tumblr?

So the initial feelings of freedom from Verizon and opportunity to work on things that might turn Tumblr around were dampened under the wet blanket of pay cuts, benefit cuts, cuts to time off (Automattic has "unlimited" vacation, lol), bad management, and an unwelcoming attitude from naysayers

The remaining old pre-2019 staff are very, very few in number. It's mostly Automattic's show now, and you can see how that's working out for them. i was once hopeful it would work out for Tumblr but that hope has long waned. it would not surprise me if the biggest advances toward profitability have been due to employees leaving Tumblr and not being replaced

[leclerc-s]

a paddock family christmas

series masterlist

nataliaruiz, penelopetrevino, isabellaperez, maejonesverstappen, maxjonesverstappen posted new stories

baby's first christmas, tears were shed shoutout seb for getting reindeer this christmas and hosting us! churro is not loving the snow taking my auntie duties very seriously this christmas seb's banned her from helping with tree decorating. it's very unfair. who can say no to her?

danieljonesricciardo, freyavettel, mickschumacher, charles_leclerc, and zoyatorres posted new stories

next up: christmas tree farm by my wife! 'tis the season 💞 mon coeur (my heart) according to logan, i'm officially a disney princess

rhysjones, baileywinters, isabellaperez, and dulceperez

one thing i will ever do is let this picture die. happy holidays! i have been entrusted with baking. hope i don't let seb down. moments after he threatened to yet again steal max's cats and to force daphne to adopt him so he can terrorize daniel 24/7 looks like someone is coming for charles' ferrari seat.

liked by sukiwaterhouse, sebastianvettel, zoyatorres, and others

nataliaruiz the easiest yes of my life

tagged: charles_leclerc

user restricted comments

sukiwaterhouse congrats! wishing you two so much love and happiness.

↳ nataliaruiz thanks babes, you're still my #1 don't worry!

↳ sukiwaterhouse i better be. that french fuck has nothing on me

↳ charles_leclerc I'M MONEGASQUE! YOU KNOW THIS!

↳ sukiwaterhouse i couldn't care less

zoyatorres still can't believe i got to witness this with my own eyes. however, no one cried more than arthur.

↳ arthur_leclerc STOP TELLING EVERYONE MY BUSINESS!

danieljonesricciardo welcome to the club! i call best man!

↳ pierregasly i think the fuck not! you already got to be best man at mae and max's wedding.

lorenzotl officially welcome to the family, although you've been an unofficial leclerc since 2019. love you, merry christmas to you and little star

↳ nataliaruiz love you enzo!

freyavettel MOM AND DAD ARE GETTING MARRIED! I AM A CHILD OF ENGAGED PARENTS!

↳ mickschumacher reminder, your actual parents are married.

↳ freyavettel shh mickey!

isabellaperez AND FOR ONCE LANDO DIDN'T SPOIL IT!

↳ landonorris THAT WAS ONE TIME ISA! LET IT GO!

mrsamclaflin i see he finally got the hint. goodbye mrs.dunne, you were the best fake wife.

↳ nataliaruiz he did! and goodbye to you mr.dunne, you were an amazing fake husband!

rileykeough i can't believe i lost my wife to a french?

↳ charles_leclerc I'M MONEGASQUE!

↳ rileykeough i don't care? you speak french = you are french. end of story.

sebastianvettel always knew you two were in love, even before you did.

↳ nataliaruiz no, you didn't! how could you know when even we didn't?

↳ sebastianvettel easy, he looked at you the same way i look at my wife. he was as the children say 'down bad'

liked by scuderiaferrari, maejonesverstappen, carlossainz55, and others

charles_leclerc pour toujours

translation: forever

tagged: nataliaruiz

user restricted comments

carlossainz55 felicidades cabrón!

↳ charles_leclerc thanks mate!

alexalbon he finally got the hint!

maxjonesverstappen1 it only took you 6 months to get the hint

↳ charles_leclerc i'm not as clueless as you all think! i was waiting for christmas!

↳ landonorris um, why christmas?

↳ charles_leclerc when we were 10 she said she wanted to get engaged on christmas with the people most important to her present. her dad and brother couldn't make it so i settled for all of you.

↳ georgerussell63 wow really feeling the love sharl.

↳ charles_leclerc i'm kidding, thank you for clearing you plans and making it out for her.

scuderiaferrari congrats to the happy couple!

↳ nataliaruiz build him a better car next season or things will get ugly

↳ scuderiaferrari ma’am you are scary.

zoyatorres PARENTS ARE GETTING MARRIED!

mrsamclaflin well congrats to the happy couple! it's about time!

↳ nataliaruiz why thank you mr. dunne!

↳ mrsamclaflin anytime future mrs.leclerc!

↳ charles_leclerc we were going to have problems if you called her mrs.dunne 🤺

rileykeough she's married to me leclerc?

↳ charles_leclerc you wish

↳ rileykeough oh you know she is.

rhysjones lightning mcqueen finally got his sally to say yes to marriage!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! merry christmas to those of you who celebrate! and to those of you who don't i wish you a very wonderful day. now, someone had to engaged or married on christmas! they are all my babies and i have to make them happy for christmas.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[marleneoftheopera]

Holiday Audio/Video Gifts!

For the holiday season, here are some audio gifts from various shows and one Phantom video! The link to them is here and the info is below the cut:

Happy holidays and I hope you are all having time for some rest!

Audios

POTO

Jon Robyns, Paige Blankson, Joe Griffiths-Brown, Kelly Glyptis, Matt Harrop, Adam Linstead, Francesca Ellis, David Kristopher Brown, Maiya Hikasa August 22, 2023; London

Tim Howar, Harriet Jones, Nadim Naaman, Lara Martins, Nicholas Garrett, Arvid Larsen, John Ellis, Valerie Cutko, Kelsi Boyden March 19, 2023; Greece

Josh Piterman, Corinne Cowling (u/s), Danny Whitehead, Katy Hanna (u/s), Ross Dawes, Kris Manuel (u/s), Sophie Caton (u/s), Paul Ettore Tabone, Georgia Ware October 17, 2019; London ​Matinee.

Jeremy Stolle (u/s), Samantha Hill, Greg Mills (u/s), Michele McConnell, Richard Poole (u/s), Tim Jerome, Ellen Harvey, Christian Sebek, Kara Klein, Scott Mikita (u/s) March 9, 2013; Broadway Matinee performance.

John Owen-Jones, Deborah Dutcher, Matthew Cammelle, Bruce Montague, Charles Shirvell, Margaret Mary Kane (u/s), Janet Murphy, Jeremy Secomb, Lucy Middleton January 5, 2002; London

Love Never Dies

Tam Mutu, Celia Graham, David Thaxton, Daniel Dowling August 25, 2011; London Tam Mutu's last performance.

Les Miserables

Christopher Jacobsen (u/s Jean Valjean), Stewart Clarke (Javert), Katie Hall (Fantine), Will Callan (Marius), Lulu-Mae Pears (Cosette), Amena El-Kindy (Eponine), Luke Kempner (Thenardier), Claire Machin (Madame Thenardier), Dejan Van der Flyert (Enjolras), Alex Shaw (Gavroche), Clohe Sullivan (Little Cosette), Tom Hext (Grantaire/Majordomo), Adam Pearce (Bishop/Claquesous), Ellie Ann Lowe (Factory Girl), Jordan Simon Pollard (u/s Foreman/Bujon), Matt Dempsey (Bamatabopis/Lesgles), Annabelle Aquino, Hazel Baldwin, Emily Olive Boyd, Ben Culleton, Matt Hayden, Sam Kipling, Anouk Van Lake, Harry Lake, Ben Oatley, Jonathan Stevens, Phoebe Williams, Ollie Wray September 28, 2023; London 15,000th show in London and the 5th show for the new company.

Sunset Boulevard

Nicole Scherzinger (Norma), Tom Francis (Joe Gillis), David Thaxton (Max von Mayerling), Grace Hodgett Young (Betty Shaefer), Ahmed Hamaad (Artie), Tyler Davis (Sheldrake), Charlotte Jaconelli (Johanna), Jon Tsouras (Cecil B. de Mille) September 28, 2023; London

Rebecca

Laureen Jones (I), Richard Carson (Maxim de Winter), Kara Lane (Mrs Danvers), Sara Harlington (Beatrice), Neil Moor (Giles), Piers Bate (Frank Crewley), David Breeds (Ben), Alex James Ward (Jack Favell), Shrley Jameson (Mrs Van Hopper), Nicholas Lumley (Colonel Julian) September 27, 2023; Off-West End

POTO Video

Ian Jon Bourg, Olivia Safe (u/s), Kyle Gonyea 2001; Hamburg, Germany VOB files. One of the most legendary Phantom's opposite one of the youngest Christine's!

[watermelonsugacry]

Hii! I don't know if i didn't check properly if you had written it, but when is their weddingggggggg, are the 1d members invited or is it an intimate gathering!?!?!?! i need to knowwwww!

Forevermore

A/N: SINCE 2010 ficmas day 5! sorry for the super late post again, im so bad at this lovies 😅 but she's finally here and probably one of my most favorite chapters in YNrry's story!!

SUMMARY: YN and Harry finally (and secretly) tie the knot in her hometown surrounded by their closest friends and family on their anniversary. Here is where they reminisce a couple of Christmases back when they officially became a couple along with some unexpected circumstances. (8.7k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 masterlist // ficmas 2022 masterlist

"YN!" The couple looks up towards the front door to see a very excited Penny on the porch. The two bark out a laugh as they see the woman with her hands in the air, her hips shimmying from side to side before making her way down the porch steps. YN meets her step mum halfway and they join each other in a tight warm embrace. 

After YN and Harry wrapped up their last shows of the year for their world tours, it was time to pack their things and fly over to Doncaster for their small, secret wedding. They’ve done their best acting work yet in keeping their engagement away from the public eye for almost a year and it was finally time to fulfill their promise to become husband and wife on their anniversary.

After some careful planning, the couple ultimately decided to have their wedding at the Tomlinson’s family home right in the backyard with a few selected guests outside of their immediate family members. 

"Hey mum," YN mumbles into the older woman's shoulder.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, my baby," Penny reaches out, gripping Harry's wrist to pull him into the group hug as well. YN’s stepmum has so many wonderful and cheerful qualities about her but the one thing that Harry loves the most about the love of his life's mum is that she never fails to make someone feel so welcomed.

"Ugh, you're here. You both are finally here. And you mister," Penny pulls back to shove a playful finger at Harry's chest. "I haven't seen enough of you in a hot minute."

“Been a bit busy with work and everything but never too busy for you, Pen,” He gives the older woman a charming smile. Penny squeals and pinches at Harry’s cheek.

“Yeh too sweet, can’t get enough of you!” Penny hooks her arm through with her daughter's and walks back towards the grand house, "Harry leave those bags there in the car. I'll have Louis and the boys come out and help you with that so if I see you carry them inside I'll smack yeh. Come on!"

As they walk up the rest of the gravel driveway, Harry can't help but think back and reminisce on the night he took YN to his mum's house for Christmas almost four years ago in 2019.

...

Harry opens YN’s car door as she carefully tries to take off her seatbelt while simultaneously trying to keep a homemade cookies bag from toppling over. 

While YN spent Christmas Eve/Louis’s birthday with the rest of the Tomlinson clan, aka her family, she couldn’t possibly deny Anne invitation to spend Christmas day with the Styles. It was a new experience for her spending this holiday away from her family, but she was more than happy to comply with her best friend’s mom’s wishes. 

After spending two months in Malibu earlier in the year, and after having having a much needed talk with Harry about their feelings for one another, they’re still trying to navigate how to go through with their acts of devotion towards one another. As much as it hurt the both of them to end their relationship once more, they decided to do the healthy thing for once and focus on themselves and their mental health first before pouring out everything they have toward someone else. 

It turns out that their crisp trepidation was too heavy to simply shake off so quickly.

Their friendship, however, could never be tossed aside.

When she closes her door with her hip, she can hear Harry close the backseat door and he holds the Christmas gifts they brought for the Styles family. Anne’s house reminded YN so much about her stepmum’s home: a tiny little cottage-like home with a vast amount of greenery surrounding the area. It instantly brings a smile on her face and makes her feel at home being away from home.

“Hey um,” YN looks up at Harry as they walk up his mother’s driveway. “I just want to say that I really appreciate you being here. I know you spend this time with your family so I just wanted to say that it means a lot that you’re here with me. You really didn’t have to.”

“Well, remember I’m only here for Anne,” YN jokingly reminds her friend.

“M’being serious though.”

“So am I.”

“YN,” Harry stops them as the reach the front door. Due to Harry's hands being full, she takes the liberty to reach out and ring the doorbell. “Look, before we go inside, there's something I need to tell you...”

“I’m all ears.”

“I-”

“YN!” Anne's voice breaks through the space and she’s instantly lighting up from the older woman’s energy. Anne wastes no time pulling her in for a hug while Harry is left hanging in nervousness. “Merry Christmas, hun.”

“Merry Christmas, Anne. It’s been so long,” YN says over her shoulder. She’s missed her so much more than she realized as she almost gets emotional at her embrace.

“Too long. It’s a crime that Harry doesn’t bring you along when he comes home,” The two women look over at Harry but YN notices how he quickly puts a smile on his face. She slightly furrows her eyebrows at his actions but before she can fully question him, Gemma comes out from the hallway and walks towards the three of them.

“Hey you,” Gemma immediately wraps her arms over YN’s shoulders.

“Hey Gem. How’ve you been?” The two of them sway quickly back and forth for a second before pulling away.

“Great now that you’re here. Hopefully my brother hasn’t been giving you much trouble,” Gemma says while nodding her head to Harry. When she looks back at Harry again, she sees his mum helping him with the gifts they brought. He looks up at her again as well and smiles a closed lipped smile, they kind where his dimples don’t dig into his cheeks in the way she likes. 

What’s up with him?

“Never. Oh—” YN quickly remembers the big ziploc bag in her hand. “Me mum made cookies earlier today and she wasn’t gonna let me come over here without bringing you all some.” 

“Aw, you all are too sweet. I love that pretty Penny to death,” Anne gushes as she takes the bag from her extended hand and beckens YN and her son to come further into the house. “Make yourself at home, YN. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the family and later we have some games we’re going to play. So bring your A-game, the Styles are very competitive—not like you don’t already know. Especially these two,” Anne points to her two children.

“Well m’not one for losing either, Annie, so they better have their guards up,” YN smirks and the two women pretend to be baffled before they all break out into chuckles. “And I will, thank you.” 

When Anne and Gemma both walk and disappear further into the home, YN turns to Harry and begins to take off her shoes. “You alright, babe? You look a little pale,” She puts the back of her hand to Harry's forehead just to make sure. Harry shakes his head and softly grasps her hand in his.

“Yes...well maybe? I dunno, really,” He lets out a nervous chuckle and it only makes her more concerned. “I just need to let you know that—”

“Uncle Harry!” A little boy YN recognizes to be one of Harry’s few nephews comes running up to the two of them and Harry is quick to put a bright smile back on.

“Hey, look at you! You’re so big now,” Harry wraps his arms around the back of the boy’s legs and lifts him up. “You’re a full-fledged adult now, aren’t yeh? Look at that mustache on your lip. See that, babe?”

“Oh yeah,” YN plays along with Harry’s teasing. “Might need a trim soon, for sure.”

The young boy laughs when Harry wiggles his fingers under the little boy’s armpits before setting him down. Soon after, the little boy is dragging his uncle further into the house and into the living room announcing how he needs to show him all of the new toys Santa brought him last night. When Harry gives her a shrug of his shoulder with yet another tight-lipped smile as he gets whisked away, she’s left wondering what he needs to tell her so badly.

...

When Harry trails behind his fiancée and her mum inside the Tomlinson house, the sound of chatting and commotion fills the spacious living room instantly. 

“Aunt YN!” A little carbon copy of Louis comes running to up YN and he tightly wraps his arms around her torso.

“Freddie! Aw you’re too big now, lad. Almost didn’t recognize yeh. How are you, little man?”

Harry happily looks on at how the Tomlinsons come up to hug and greet YN before they get to him. YN can’t help but coo when Lottie carries in her new baby, she does her secret handshakes with each of set of twins and warmly greets the older Tomlinson grandparents. As Harry finishes greeting Lottie’s boyfriend, he fondly looks at how her and Louis give each other a kiss on the cheek before staying in their embrace for a minute longer than she did for the others.

“Why didn’t no one tell me one of my favorite girls is finally here?” Anne quickly wraps her arms around YN as soon as she pulls away from her childhood best friend's hug. 

“Should I be offended that my mum hugged my fiancée first and not me?” Harry hurtfully yet playfully asks his old band mate.

“Deeply,” Louis jokes before pulling him in for a hug, patting him heavily on the back. “S’good to see you, man. Ready for the big day?”

“He’s been ready since he was practically sixteen,” Gemma interrupts with a sassy smile. “He’s gonna have to blow the dust off the paper he wrote his vows on from how long ago her wrote them—hey!” His sister laughs when he gives a playful (yet very real) shove to her head.

...

The night has been a blast so far. The Styles family were much like Penny and the Tomlinson’s in how family is at the core of their lives. After getting introduced to the few family members she didn’t know, they quickly accept her like they’ve known her all their lives.

Harry can see just how naturally good she is at everything. She wins over the grumpy grandparents who only seem to smile once a year and now has them doubled over in laughter. She’s a fierce competitor at all of their family games and doesn’t hold back from her brutal skills as she goes head to head with him over a play of some guessing game. When it’s time to set the table, she’s quickly removing herself from her close spot next to Harry to help Anne with anything she needs.

“Well, she certainly seems like a lovely girl,” Gemma says lowly once she’s slid on over next to her brother. “Very companion worthy.” When she sees him start to pinch worriedly at his bottom lip, she gives him a sympathetic smile, “Still haven’t told her yet, huh?”

“No, and neither will you.”

“You’re gonna have to tell her, H. You have to tell one of them or else it’s just gonna blow up in your face,” His older sister reasons. She’s right, and he knows that she’s right.

“I will,” Harry lowers his voice when he sees YN and his mum come out of the kitchen with plates of food in their hands as they go about setting up the dining room table behind him.

It startles him when he feels two hands on his shoulders and he feels a smile creep onto his face when he feels the side of YN’s face press up against his, “Dinner is officially served. Come on, your mum wants you to sit next to her, and I want to sit next to you.”

With a squeeze of his shoulders, Harry feels giddiness zip through him at her comment and ignores the knowing look his older sister gives him as he gets up from the couch.

...

As everyone gets settled in—mums hustling in the kitchen, little ones running every which way, and the older children talking among themselves in the living room—Louis and YN take a moment to sit outside together away from all the chaos. The backyard was essentially all set for tomorrow. As the two sit on one of the couches of the spacious backyard, in front of them sits two sections of seats, a walkway in the middle and an altar made of branches awaits at the end. The arch of the altar is filled with white flowers. 

The couple was thankful that the England weather was relatively warm this year as there was barely any snow in sight. 

As the two stare out at the set up, YN lets out a sigh, wrapping her arms around her legs and fidgets with the butterfly ring on her finger, “This is kind of surreal, yeh know? Like, after all this time we’re finally gonna do this,” YN huff out a giggle. “Remember when Harry gave this ring a couple of Christmases ago? Feels like ages away."

Louis offers his cigarette to her and she shakes her head to decline.

“That’s around the time he told me he had a crush on you.”

YN snaps her head towards her childhood best friend, “Whot! He told all those years ago?”

“S’not like it was a secret. He practically kissed the ground you walked on. It was pretty fookin’ obvious, love. You know...eh never mind.” Louis shakes his head with a smile and brings the white stick back to his lips, taking a long drag. 

“Oi! Y’can’t say that and then not say what you were going to say,” YN pushes at his shoulder. 

“I dunno why I even brought it up. Don’t know if I should even tell yeh,” YN raises her hand as a threat to hit his shoulder and he slightly cowards back with his hands raised. “Oi, alright, alright. It’s not even a big deal.”

“Y’making it seem that way though. Y’got me all nervous.”

“Well,” Louis tilts his head back as he blows the smoke out from his lungs. He scratches his eyebrow with his thumb with a sigh, “He’d kill me if he knew I was telling yeh this but...y’mum wasn’t the only one he asked for a blessing to marry you.” 

She furrows her eyebrows and tilts her head as she looks to her childhood best friend, her brother. 

“Are...are you sayin’ that Harry asked you as well?” 

Louis just gives her a small smile and silently nods down to himself, bringing his cigarette to his lips once more. 

In the next second, her eyes begin to water at Harry’s gesture. The fact that he went the extra mile to ask her childhood best friend—the man who she sees as an older brother—if he had approval to become her husband makes the love she has for her fiancé grow more and more. She turns her head to look behind her and through the sliding doors that see into the kitchen. 

Penny has Harry’s hands working on needing out a tough ball of cookie dough. He listens intently to her instructions as she pours various cookie toppings into different bowls. His own mum rummages around the kitchen as well, helping learn how to make her soon-to-be mother-in-law’s infamous chocolate chip cookies. 

It seems as though Harry must not be kneading the dough fast enough as her mum comes up behind him and aids his hands into the mix. YN can’t hear it from being outside but Harry’s face says it all as he begins to laugh at the playful action. His eyes crinkle and his dimples pop out as he lifts his shoulders in a fit of giggles. 

YN huff out a small laugh through her nose at the sight and she can’t stop the rogue tears that escape as she falls more in love with the man inside.

“M’happy for you, love,” When she turns her gaze back to Louis, he nods toward the house. “Harry he...he really loves you, YN. He’s gonna be a good husband. And if he isn’t, I’ll kick his arse.” 

YN can’t help but let out a watery laugh, wiping under her eyes before snuggling under his extended arm, ��I believe you.” 

They both enjoy the quietness of the outdoors a little longer until they turn their heads to the sound of one of the doors sliding open.

“Auntie YN,” Freddie excitingly steps onto the porch, his cheeks turning pink by the second.

“Freddie, where’s yeh coat?” Louis scolds. 

“Sorry daddy but Grandma Penny said it's time for you to come inside or, or else you’re going to get sick,” The little boy with his father's eyes quickly explains before scurrying off inside.

“You coming inside, Lou?” YN asks, still stuck to his side. He gives her shoulder a squeeze and throws the bud of his cigarette into the grass. 

“Let’s go. Yeh know, you’re gonna be having to scold yeh own kids pretty soon.”

“One step at a time, Lou.”

...

It was safe to say that it’s been a good while since YN has had a home-cooked meal and Anne never fails to provide such delicious food—especially now as everyone feasts on their full plates. Harry’s mum sits at the head of the table, her two children sit in the next seats beside her and YN is seated happily next to Harry. As they all eat and chat away, YN puts a hand over her mouth to prevent food flying out from laughter at one of his uncle’s stories.

Throughout the dinner, her and Harry have been acting like they usually would any other time they’re together. Like when they were all sitting on the couch listening to funny (and embarrassing) stories about each family member, YN sat contently under the comfort of Harry’s arm draped over her shoulder. Or after a round of another guessing game, Harry takes her in his arms and gives her a spin after their team’s victory; boasting loudly and planting a friendly kiss on her cheek. 

Or like now as YN’s giggly body subconsciously leans over to Harry, he doesn’t think twice about putting a hand on her knee, leaning further into her as he lets out a laugh of how own. 

“And when I looked down, it was in my hand the entire time!” His uncle explains the ending to his amusing story and the table goes into another fit of laughter and chuckles. His aunt brings a clothed napkin to wipe under her eyes and playful smacks her husband’s shoulder. 

When YN looks to her best friend, they both shake their heads as giggles and chuckles push past their lips. She gives him the smile that always makes his knees weak and he’s never been more thankful to be sitting down at the sight. 

Anne looks over fondly to her son and YN next to her and can’t help but wave a hand excitedinly in front of her, “YN, dear. I’m so happy you came over for today. But you’ll have to excuse Uncle David over there, he’s a bit of a jokester.”

“Not at all,” YN dimisses with a reassuring wave of her hand. “My uncle Teddy is the same way. It’s nice to see that humorous uncles run in good families.”

It’s nearly impossible to not be in awe of the woman sitting next to him. She’s just so naturally good at everything, and much like her stepmum, she can always make a person feel welcomed, special even, with just one look.

“I’m just so happy that my son has finally brought his girlfriend over for Christmas,” Anne beams from her seat at the head of the table and YN’s fork squeaks against the china plate. Harry nearly chokes on the glass of wine in his hand and Gemma looks up at her the two across from her with wide eyes. The wind gets knocked out of YN as she failed to notice that he was seeing someone on the side, that she failed to notice the possible woman in the room...but another realization presses down on her chest. 

She can feel her best friend tense up next to her and it all makes sense now: Harry didn’t tell his mum that they weren’t together anymore. Harry’s mum was referring to YN.

YN thinks quickly and instead of politely correcting his mum or throwing out all of the questions racing in her mind, she smiles softly at Anne and says, “Thank you for having me.” When she turns her gaze to Harry, he sees him give her an appreciative smile, “M’really grateful to be here with all of you. I’m a very lucky person today.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Harry comments truthfully. He’s so grateful to not only have his best friend over for such a memorable day but for her not exposing him to his entire family on Christmas day. He removes the hand on her knee to bring her hand to mouth to place a kiss on her knuckles and the table looks onto them fondly.

Before Anne can get all teary-eyed over the sight, she puts on a loving smile and announces for everyone to continue to eat up before the food gets cold. As everyone dives back into their own conversations and the room is filled with chatter and silverware claking again, Harry leans over to whisper in YN’s ear.

“Thank you.” YN gives her friend a warm smile like he’s telling her something loving, partly because she feels for him and partly because his mum hasn’t taken her eyes off of them yet, “I can explain.”

“Later,” YN whisper back, interlocking her hand with his. “In the meantime, is yeh nose alright? Looks like wine sky-rocketed out from there from the news," She giggles behind her own glass and Harry falls more in love with her with every passing second.

...

As the night before their wedding day comes to fruition, everyone in the house was sent promptly to bed to be ready for tomorrow—especially the bride-to-be. Penny, Anne, Gemma, and Lottie all shooed Harry away from his fiancé and made sure YN was tucked into bed as soon as possible as she needs her beauty sleep before the most important day of her life. 

While Harry was shoved into a room of his own, he couldn’t stop tossing and turning. As excited as he is for the next day to arrive, he can’t seem to fall asleep without his love snuggled up next to him.

As the rest of the house is already in deep sleep, Harry pads his bare feet out of the guest room and makes his way into the kitchen. He knuckles at his eyes and reaches for the handle of the refrigerator. 

“Not gettin’ cold feet are yeh?” 

Harry nearly jumps out of his skin, quickly turning around to spot his fiancée sitting on top of the dining table. She holds back a laugh around the cookie in her mouth and he notices that she has a steaming mug sitting on the table by her hips. 

“Of course not. Been waiting forever for this day, think m’just too excited to sleep,” He makes his way over to her to stand inbetween her swinging legs. “What are you doing up?”

“Same here. Too jittery to wait until tomorrow,” YN keeps her gaze on the mug next to her as she dunks her stepmum’s homemade cookie in the hot chocolate as she bashfully says her next words. “Plus, I couldn’t really fall asleep without you with me so...”

It’s hard for the two of them not to be reminiscent of always meeting up back in the kitchen: from their two month trip in Jamaica, while making his second album in Malibu, when they officially became a couple in 2019—it all seems a little full circle.

"Will you be a good bride-to-be to your soon-to-be husband and let me have a bite?" He nods toward the chunky cookie in her hand with a grin, ultimately deciding that he can't tease her for her sleep comment because it's the same reasons he's up. He leans forwards when she offers him some but scoffs when she swerves it out of the way at the last second and into her mouth.

When she finishes her chewing, he hushes her laugh by pressing his lips to hers. He pulls her in closer by gripping her hips and she happily cards her fingers through his hair. When teases his fingers under the waistband of her sleep shorts, she pulls away with a giggle.

"Harry, baby we can't here," She whispers into the air as he begins to nibble down the side of her neck.

"Why not?" He mumbles onto her skin and the sound of his boyish whinnying makes her smile.

"Because, quite literally, our closest family members are all currently sleeping under this roof. Me mum can walk in on us. Or your mum. Or Louis-"

"They will walk in on us if you don't hush up," Harry points out and it makes his dimples dig into his cheeks when she giggles softly. "Don't you want me, baby?"

"I want you," YN mumbles shyly and it has him quickly bringing his mouth to hers again. She pulls him closer with a tug of his hair and he groans against her, a noise that has her shushing him just the same way he did to her.

They try to keep as quiet as they possibly can but it turns difficult when they can't stop giggling and hushing each other. Especially how she has to dig her face into his shoulder when he tugs their shorts just low enough until her can push inside her or being shushed when he has to stop to move the steaming mug of hot chocolate to the seat. He tells her to be quiet through a chuckle when she goes to lay her back against the hardwood table and she lets out a string of giggles when the table starts to creek from their movements. Her laughs turn into quiet moans and whimpers when he begins to pound into her and he brings his hand over her mouth as they both come undone.

After busting out the disinfecting bottle and vigorously wiping down the table, Harry escorts her back to her room.

“What?” YN questions when he sees Harry give her a lovesick smile, the same kind of smile that begins to tug one on her own lips.

“This is our last night with you being my fiancée.”

She hums out in agreement. It’s at this moment that she realizes that the scary feeling in her tummy for tomorrow isn’t necessarily out of fear, but excitement. All this time she thought she might be second-guessing herself, making herself think that she wasn’t good enough for Harry, that he deserves someone better. But this gooey twist in her stomach is from how giddy she feels, about how much he loves her. He wants her to be his wife, no one else.

She can’t help herself from stepping forward, placing a hand on Harry’s chest to lean up on the balls of her feet to gently press her lips to his.

“Good night, my fiancé,” She mumbles against his lips.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

“Until tomorrow, my love.”

He reluctantly pulls himself away from her with a deep sigh, “I’ll be waiting at the altar.”

“I’ll meet yeh there.”

“Good night, lovie.”

“Good night.”

YN giggles at how neither one of them makes an effort to move from their spots.

“You love me?” 

She barks out a laugh but quickly puts a hand over her mouth to muffle the contagious sound. He puts a warm hand over the one over her mouth while the other puts a finger to his lips, a dimpled smile already breaking out.

“I can’t stand you,” She teases in a whisper. “But of course I love you. Agree to marry you, didn’t I?”

“Damn right you did,” He boasts, walking backwards down the hall. “Good night, baby.” 

“Night,” YN bites her bottom lip to tame her smile and leans her head on the door frame. Before she can get her hand on the door, another giggle comes tumbling past her lips when he quickly makes his way over to her again to give her a loving kiss. He brings her left hand to his mouth to plant a kiss to the ring her gave her before forcing himself down the hall to the guest room.

...

Harry had his explanation ready. It was all planned out a rehearsed to a T, but now as he stands before YN’s awaiting eyes in his mum’s kitchen the next day, he loses all the words he knows.

Yesterday was packed with activities and fun and laughter that it was hard not to pull her away from all that and explain himself. He couldn’t be the cause of her loosing her bright smile as they play another guessing game with his family. He couldn’t be the one to interrupt her laughter while they assembled gingerbread houses.

And the one time he actually had the chance to pull her off to the side, his little nephew pointed out that they were under the misletoe. All of his worrying thoughts came to a stop when she looked up at him with a shrug of her shoulders as his family all had their eyes excitingly locked on them. How could he even think to hesitate when she was so willing and pliable in his hands as he cups her face and presses his lips to hers—their first kiss since they’ve split up a couple of months ago. It was a short and sweet kiss for the sake of his family standing before them but how he wished they were the only ones in the room.

And there certainly was no way he was going to wake her after she falls asleep with her head on his shoulder as the older cousins sit around the living room to watch Christmas movies. When everyone begins to file out of the living room wishin him good night, all he can really do is carefully manuver her so she’s between him and the back of the couch and drap a blanket over the two of them. His heart and the warm feeling inside his chest only grows when she blindly reaches out for him, pulling him close and tucking her head in the crook of his neck.

Now in the cold light of day, Harry has to face the music and explain why his mum thinks the two are still together after already being months apart.

“It’s...look I,” Harry takes in a deep breath. It was already hard enough to proper gather his thoughts at the sight of her alone so it was extremely difficult now under the circumstances. “I didn’t mean to lead her onto to anything, I promise. She was so happy when we were actually together and, and when we broke up, telling her wasn’t necessarily the first thing on my mind. I meant to tell her soon enough and it completely didn’t come to mind that she still thought that way when she invited you over for Christmas. I appreciate you playing along and I’m forever in you debt because of that but, I will tell her. I will tell her today and as much as it will hurt her, I can’t imagine how hard all this is hurting you.”

Harry lets out a deep sigh. He had everything planned and it all came to bite him back in the worst way.

"Hurting me?" YN questions and he's taken back when she gently takes a hold of his chin so his gaze meets hers. "You've been doing the complete opposite. Yeah, this is all a little weird given the situation and I might have been caught off guard but...I miss you. I've missed you for...I honestly don't think I ever stopped missing you. I've been meaning to tell you that I'm ready to be with you, officially, but there never seemed like a good time. And I completely understand if you're not ready to be with me yet or don't want to be with me at all-"

YN is silenced by Harry stepping forwards, cupping her cheeks and pressing his lips to hers.

When he pulls back, he's met with her beautiful eyes that are glazed over in confusion.

"Don't want to be with you at all?" Harry asks in disbelief. "Of course I want to be with you. There's never a day that goes by without me wanting to be with you, YN. I'm ready, I've been ready. No more bullshit or back-and-forth or confusion. I want you, plain and simple."

"I want you, too," YN beams before pulling him back into her.

The two have gone back and forth between being together and not being together over the past two years but this time it feels different, it feels right.

"Well, good morning to you too."

Anne's voice instantly has them pulling apart and taking a step away from each other, like a couple of teenagers caught in an obscene act. Harry's mum smiles warmly at the couple as she goes towards the stove, "Tea, anyone?"

Harry and YN tuck their lips in and one glance at one another has them beaming in embarrassment.

...

"Baby, you have to stop pacing." Penny softly comments from her spot on the dining table as watches her daughter walk back and forth. YN hasn't stopped twisting at the ring on her finger. She's not doing it in contemplation or regretting her decision for this day, it's just a nervous habit she's done ever since she can remember.

"Knock, knock. I’ve got a special delivery from—” Louis peaks his head in from the curtained sliding glass doors and stops in his tracks at the sight of his childhood best friend—his little sister—in front of him.

YN stands before him in her mermaid-style wedding dress. The sleeves are off the shoulder and the length of her dress stops right at the bottom of her feet. Her veils trails behind her and cascades down her back and onto the ground. Her make-up is done naturally and her hair is down and clipped out of her face. 

Tears threaten to escape his eyes but he sniffles them back as best he can, “Wow, YN. Yeh look...amazing.” 

“I don’t really feel amazing,” YN continues her pacing, holding her hands in front of her stomach as she continues to twist her ring and push down on her fingers with her thumbs. “I dunno why I can’t stop my mind from racing. I’m happy, so fookin' happy right now, but I just can’t stay still and, and I feel all nervous and what if I trip and fall while I’m walking down the isle. This all feels so—”

“Hey, hey. Take a breath alright,” Louis quickly steps over to her and places gentle hands on her bare shoulders. He non-verbally instructs her to take in deep breaths with him: in through his nose and out through his mouth. “S’normal for to feel like this, love. You’re happy and you love him and that’s all that matters. But if you don’t want to go through with this either, I’ll start the car up and we can go down and grab a burger, alright? No one can say anything about it.”

After a couple of breathes, YN opens her eyes and flicker them back and forth between his.

“I, I want to see him. Like, if he can just tell me that it’s all alright, that this is all fine or to just hug him or something...”

“Well, I may not be able to give yeh that, but he did tell me to give you this,” Louis grabs a piece of paper from his inner suit jacket, YN carefully unfolds the paper and nearly cries at the sight of her fiancé’s hand writing.

Everything will be alright, my love. I can practically hear you pacing from the outside the house and please stop twisting at your ring or craking your fingers. Your hands will be in mine soon enough. I’ll be waiting at the altar. I love you so much it hurts. Harry x. 

YN huffs out a laugh through her nose at how well he knows her. Harry wasn’t even told what she was doing, surely in hopes to not make him nervous but he knows her like the back of his hand. YN doesn’t even realize how her breathing as calmed down or how less jittery she feels from her anxiety earlier. She doesn’t even realize how big of a smile she has on her face until Louis takes her chin in between his fingers.

“She’s acting like he hung up the moon and stars by the way she’s smiling like that,” Louis jests and YN doesn’t even try her hand at a witty comeback.

“Thank you, Louis. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for everything you’ve done for me,” She says sincerely. “From when I was a little girl till now, you’ve taken care of me and looked out for me like a big brother should. You mean the world to me and I love you very much.”

With a tight lipped smile, he pulls YN into his arms before she can see his eyes begin to tear up. 

“There’s no need to thank meh. I’d gladly do it all over again if I had to.”

The three of them turn their attention to a knock on the sliding glass doors before Gemma steps in with an excited smile, "It’s time.”

...

YN can hear the infamous wedding music begin to play outside and she takes in a shaky breath. Penny puts a loving hand overher daughter's that are tightly gripping onto her bouquet and it instantly calms YN’s nerves. 

“Ready, my baby?” She gives her daughter the warmest smile, the smile that’s engraved into YN’s memory ever since she was a little girl. Penny was the only woman her no-good of a father brought home that actually acknowledged baby YN. Penny gave up her free, hippie lifestyle for one of a mother’s and it was a decision, a promise, she continues to fulfill every passing day since. She has been the parent, the provider, and the support that YN needed and YN is forever grateful for the woman standing beside her.

Penny has been more than two parents combined and so after giving her mum a nod, the glass doors slide open and the two woman begin their walk down the isle.

As YN takes her steps down to the altar, she spots the familiar faces around the small number of seats.

She passes by Mitch and Sarah as she’s slightly bouncing their baby boy in her arms.

She passes by the Tomlinson girls—the family she grew up with and calls her own.

She passes some of Harry’s close family members and holds back a giggle when Uncle David gives her two thumbs up.

She passes by the empty seats that were reserved for her two other bandmates who “couldn't make the trip” (an obvious outcome that the couple forshadowed yet still sent out the invitations nonetheless) but she smiles warmly when she sees her favorite blond lad. Niall smiles brightly at her before looking down at his shoes in hopes for her not to see the way he starts to tear up. 

She passes Anne and Gemma in the front row, both with loving looks lighting up their faces. Harry’s mum mouths that she looks so beautiful and puts a shaky hand over her heart. 

She passes Louis as he watches her with his lips tucked to the side to help stop himself from blubbering like a baby. He has been so calm, cool and collected during all of this but actually seeing his baby sister walk down the isle in her white dress is hitting him like a ton of bricks.

And lastly, she sees Harry standing before her at the end of the altar dressed in a simple yet classic tux, red-nosed and teary-eyed at the sight of his bride. When he meets her gaze, he quickly knuckles away the tears before giving her her favorite dimpled smile. He takes in a deep breath, unable to hold back the sob that racks through his chest.

With glossy eyes, Penny plants a gentle kiss to her daughter’s cheek before reaching out to place YN’s hand in Harry’s. He gives the older woman a kiss on her cheek, as well as a reassuring nod of his head as a nonverbal way of saying that he has her. After stepping up to face one another, Penny takes her place on the other side of the front row and as the ceremony begins, she seats herself next to the empty chair reserved for Jay.

...

“YN,” The officiant turns his attention over to the bride. “You may now read your vows.”

After Gemma hands YN the small piece of paper, she looks up to see her groom give her an encouraging smile.

“Harry," YN takes a shaky breath in and her vision already gets blurry. "Shit. Oh! Fook, I'm sorry. Shit! Ahh wait!" She puts a hand over her mouth as the audience laughs at her antics. Harry’s shoulders shake up by his ears and the outer corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughs.

"I love you," he leans over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

He lets out another laugh when she gives him an uneasy look of disbelief.

"Harry,” She starts again. “I don’t think there are words good enough to describe how much how I love you. You’ve shown me so many things, taught me so much about not only in life, but of myself. Before you, I wasn’t a very touchy-feely person. Now, I cannot go a day without one of your hugs. Before you, I couldn’t stand to listen to stupid love songs. Now, I’m constantly writing them about you. Before you, my world was seen in sepia. Now I see colors I never knew existed. You’re truly me best friend, the love of me life, and my soulmate. You understand me more than anyone else, more than myself sometimes. I can’t believe the day has come when we finish with the constantly changing labels of our relationship and finally settle it with husband and wife. I’ll never get tired of saying how much I love you and I can’t wait to start my forever with you.”

As soon as she finishes reading off of her tiny piece of paper, Harry steps forwards, cups her cheeks and plants a kiss to her lips. A couple of the men in the audience wolf and whistle loudly while the women playfully jab at them to quiet down. YN can’t help but giggle against her love’s lips, gripping onto the hands on her cheek before having to pull away.

“Harry, you may read your vows now.”

After calming his boyish smile, he takes his own piece of paper out of the inner pocket of his blazer and with a deep breath in, he begins to read his scribbled words.

“YN, it feels like I’ve been waiting my entire life to marry you. I knew I wanted you in my life when I first saw you at a Battle of the Bands competition when we were merely fifteen years old but I knew I wanted us to be more when we were put in a band a year later. We’ve gone through so many ups and downs over the past 12 years, and while it may have been frustrating at times, you were and always will be worth the wait. You’re my best friend and I truly cannot express how excited and happy I am to start this new chapter in our lives together as not just bandmates, secret lovers, blurry lines or merely as my best friend, but as husband and wife. I have loved you since 2010, now and forevermore.”

...

“Do you, YN YLN, take Harry Styles to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” YN beams as she slides the wedding band onto Harry’s finger.

“Do you, Harry Styles, take YN YLN to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Harry breathes out a smile, sliding the wedding band onto his love’s finger to finish off the last piece of their ceremony.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Harry, you may now kiss your bride.”

Harry doesn’t waste another second before he cups her jaw and smushes his lips to hers. He wraps his other arm around her back and YN grips onto the front flaps of his tux, pulling him in incredibly close. He leans her back and he can feel her smile against his lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Styles!”

...

“I dunno, H,” YN says, fidgeting with the rings on her fingers. Now that the two can confidently state that they’re officially together now, she’s scared that their relationship will be seen in the public eye. She knows that when they first started their on-and-off relationship two years ago, they kept it very low-key around their friends, in the studio and only later started to show PDA, but only to their close friends. They’ve managed to dodge past the questions and comments about them being an item for years but this was different. They’re officially a couple now.

The idea of going to a new year’s eve party and the fear of someone taking a picture of them while really doing anything can start a massive misunderstanding in their fandoms. The fans just knew.

“Jonny says that the people he invited were cool, only a handful of close friends,” It’s nice to know that Harry was also on board with keeping their relationship in the shadows. They’re very private people and keeping their personal lives out of the lights is something that they would like to keep. Harry grabs her fidgeting hands and holds them to his chest. “I think we deserve to enjoy more of our holiday before it’s over, don’t y’think?”

His words begin to process in her head as he clutches their hands together. His head bends down to kiss her knuckles, his thumb rubbing over the butterfly ring he gave her a couple of Christmases ago, and it almost made her knees give out. His head bobs a little as he moves to kiss each one. He lifts his eyes slightly to meet hers and she sighs deeply knowing he won.

“As long as I can kiss you whenever I want during the party then maybe it won’t be so bad,” She says, trying to fight the smile that creeps on her face. She’s still very paranoid about the party, but seeing Harry’s face light up at the sound of her agreeing was all it took for her to relax. 

Harry cups her face in his large hands and pressed his lips to hers. She instantly reacts by putting her hands on his waist and turning her head to the side to deepen the kiss. 

This feels right, it feels safe. Now that she’s told him what’s on her mind about their relationship, it’s as if everything seems too good to be true. She feels as if their new relationship is now stronger than whatever they had in the past with them both clear about their intentions, mentally in a better place, and their love for one another already well established.

Harry gently pushes her back until her back is touching the counter. As she feels his tongue slip past her lips, she grips the material of his hoodie around his waist in a silent plea for more.

“Let the girl breathe, will yeh,” Gemma's voice breaks their kiss. 

YN feels the blood rush up to her face and she covers her face in Harry's chest. She feels his arms wrap around her shoulders and his chest vibrates as he laughs. YN hopes it's directed toward his sister rather than her red face.

“Oi, you’re just pissed that your boyfriend doesn’t show you the same affection anymore,” Harry says to his older sister.

“Bogger off,” Gemma says with a laugh. “When you’re finished with your little snog fest can you please send her over to the living room. I’m currently losing charades to a seven year old and she’s my lucky charm.” 

“I’ll be there,” YN’s voice comes out muffled from being pressed against Harry's chest. Gemma gives Harry a nod and once he gives her one back in reassurance, she spins on her heel and exits the kitchen. "Why does this always happen?" YN asks with a shake of her head, confused about how they continue to get interrupted by their family members and it only makes a laugh tumble past Harry's lips.

...

The married couple sits side-by-side at the end of the long table set up in the backyard. Their mums sit on either side of their children while the rest of the family and friends sit down the line. Fairy lights blanket over the yard and it provides the most beautiful light over the small party celebration.

As the table is filled with the sound of chatter as everyone finishes up the pre-made home cooked meal, Harry has his arm draped over the back of YN’s chair where he’ll constantly lean over to her to whisper something in her ear or where she’ll ask to see his left hand again and hold it against hers to see their matching rings.

Louis gives Gemma a nod across from his spot on the table before standing up from his seat, clearing his throat as he taps a knife against his glass of champagne. The chatter begins to die down and soon enough everyone joins in on tapping their glass.

"This should be interesting," Harry whispers to his bride's ear and smiles when she lets out a giggle.

"Ello everyone. For the people who don't know, m'Louis—" Everyone chuckles since the only people invited were family members and close friends. Penny gives a smack to his arm before he continues. "As the best man, I'd like to give a little toast dedicated to the bride and groom. I've known Harry for over a decade and YN since she was practically in diapers. YN, you're like me little sister than anything. As annoying and frustrating as you can be sometimes—" The table laughs and YN has to resist from flipping off her childhood best friend. "—I love you so very much. Harry, I've witnessed more than anyone here how stupidly in love you are with YN. The amount of times I’ve watched these two idiots deny and hide their love from one another during our time in One Direction was truly excruciating to watch. Niall here can back me up on that. It’s that true, Nialler?” Louis lifts his glass towards their blonde friend who quickly nods his head and making the rest of the guests laugh.

“It was painful,” Niall agrees, leaning over to look at the marriage couple. “It even hurt me sometimes, you know?”

YN playfully rolls her eyes with a smile sitting on her lips while her husband pinches at his lips to keep his embarrassed smile at bay.

“But in all seriousness, seeing first hand how these two and fought and clawed their way through all the shit—” Penny smacks his arm once again at his vulgar language. “Sorry, sorry. Through all the obstacles that have thrown their way, their love prevailed through it all. Harry, I know you'll take good care of my sister...even if she stubbornly claims she doesn't need taking care of.”

The couple’s friends and family all make noises in agreement which makes YN playfully scoff at how fast and willing they all agreed. 

“I wish you lot the best and a very happy life together. To the bride and groom."

As everyone lifts their glass in the air, YN can’t help but give Louis a weary smile before blowing him a kiss and mouths that she loves him too.

"Alright, as the maid of honor, I also want to give a toast," Gemma is next to stand. "YN, I've always seen you as a sister and I'm so happy that it's officially offical. I feel that I shouldn’t really welcome you into the family because you’ve always been apart of the Styles family for as long as we’ve known you. Harry, my baby brother," Gemma tilts her head to the side, putting a hand over chest with her lips tucked inwards in hopes to tame her tears. "I'm so proud of all you've accomplished but I'm most happy that you've found your soulmate. You guys were truly made for one another and I could not imagine a more perfect couple."

Harry leans his head towards YN’s and the rest their temples against one another, closing their eyes for a second to live in the incredible bliss they both feel.

With a quick wipe to her watery cheeks, Gemma smiles and lifts up her glass, "You guys are going to continue to have a wonderful life together and yes, I’m calling dibs to be your baby’s godmother whenever the time comes.”

“Oi! Yeh can’t do that,” Louis defends. “That’s for them to pick. And it was gonna be me anyways.”

“I think it’s only fair we get to be the godparents since they’re the godparents of our little one,” Sarah pipes up from the side of the table.

“And what am I?” Niall raises his hands. “A roach?”

As the table begin to get rowdy, Harry waves his hands up while YN just holds her stomach as it begins to hurt from laughing so hard.

“Hey, woah!” He sliences the group. “We just got married, people. We’re not even pregnant. We’re not pregnant, right?” Harry asks his love and it only makes her laugh harder.

“No, no we’re not,” YN pressed the sides of her index fingers under her eyes from the giggly tears that managed to escape. “Oh my word, that was awesome. Gemma, please continue on with your toast before I bust at the seam.”

“As I was saying, we are all so happy for the two of you. You two will have a very happy together. To YN and Harry."

"To YN and Harry!"

"And without further ado, I'd like to invite you two to the dance floor to present your first dance as husband and wife."

And with that, Harry takes his wife’s hand in his as he leads her to the small designated dance area behind their table.

With a click on Gemma’s phone, At Last by Etta James begins to play out of the speakers somewhere behind them and everyone begins to gather around the small area. Their guests pull out their phones to capture the special moment but Harry pays no mind to them as he gently tugs her into him.

YN pulls him incredibly close to her, wrapping her arms tightly around the tops of his shoulders. Harry fully pulls her into him so that there is no space left between them. He digs his face into the crook of her neck and his blunt fingers press into the skin on her shoulders as they gently sway.

All else seems to fade away and it’s just the two of them together as they dance. It all seems so unreal, swaying with Harry—her husband—on their wedding day. Harry’s words the night before were unbelievably true in that he’s been waiting forever to marry this woman. 

Like he needs to make sure he isn’t dreaming, he pulls his face from her neck and sure enough, his breath is knocked out of his chest at the sight of her looking up at him like that, with her bright eyes and golden smile. He can’t help himself from leaning down to capture her lips with his, although a little difficult after a while as they can’t keep their smiles at bay any longer. 

After all the rollercoaster they’ve been on for the past twelve years, it seemed like this day would never come to be. Yet, as Harry mentioned in his vows, she was well worth the wait as he holds YN—his wife—in his arms. 

Thankfully he will never have to let her go as he gets to have her forevermore.

taglist:

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[aduckinpain]

The Ice and The Snow

(can't melt with each other near)

Tags: Loscar, Logan Sargeant centered, Logan Sargeant Character Analysis, Hurt/Comfort, Rookies handling their first year as mirrors of each other, Happy Ending, That one radio in Qatar with James Vowel, Las Vegas 2023 Grand Prix, the consequences of Qatar haven't left yet

Word Count: 2.7k

This work is also on AO3 under user roianamustang (me).

Eyes would blink open. Body wrapped in a soft, fuzzy blanket. The air cold, but the atmosphere warm. Winter had always felt special, with its holidays, weather, and new year resolutions.

With the snow. Gentle snowflakes descend slowly. Each one has intricate and unique details. Yet each one still falls down. Depending on where they land, they either melt, or they pile up. Stacked on top of each other, invincible to the human eye when they stand alone, but wondrous when they form their patchworks. It’s almost as if a needle is being thread, linking each one with the other.

But this link never happens so delicately. The snow's weight pushes on itself, causing it to get packed. The pressure never leaves, it just unifies them.

Living in Florida gets everyone accumulated to heat and humidity, so when winter starts knocking on windows, it is rare that the package that arrives with it, is made of fluffy whiteness. 

But snow can get deadly. It is slippery and wet. It builds up and always keeps on tumbling. It drags along everything in its path. It pulls.

An avalanche is a large amount of ice, snow, and rock falling down a slope, such as a hill or mountain. 

With 2023 starting, Logan felt like he was hit by an avalanche with no ground to stop him. He was stuck under layers of freezing temperatures. Tremors and shivers were expected. Ice involuntarily and unknowingly scraping his skin.

And he was trying so, so hard. He kept digging and pushing around. But he’s been there for some time. He can’t find a way out. He can’t see the light.

Which way is up and which way is down?

Please. I promise I can do this.

Being the first American to win an FIA Karting World Championship title since 1978, is a fact that Logan keeps close to his heart. Lets it rest there, coil around. Reassure.

Entering in 2015, opened up new pathways and a clear goal to aim for. So the years continued. Full throttle.

The snow kept falling. Piling up.

Snowmen were created, snowball fights were won. And in 2016, as a newly entered Formula 4 driver, he met Ice.

The ice was immovable and quiet, yet intimidating. Somehow it has always been there, yet it just showed up. 

The title was won with him standing as a solid third in the championship ranking. He was closer to the cold than to the trophies. 

Soon enough in 2018, Logan wasn’t achieving podiums anymore. He was achieving wins. The high was exhilarating, the slower he fell from each cloud, the more he appreciated the crisp, fresh air. But the clouds kept rising and without him noticing, the pressure was increasing. His ice left for a bit. He missed his comfort. After all, the cold keeps the snow from melting.

2019 was a year full of points and disappointments, but Logan didn’t let that deter him. His path was now drawn and he’d entered it with purple sectors. The wind had picked up a bit, kept changing the trajectory of the flakes, but the destination was clear. 

In 2020 the ice returned stronger than ever. The snow solidified with no chances of melting and plummeted to results. He ended up third in the championship. A result he added to the coil around his heart. His glacier won the championship, but the snow would catch up.

I promise you James, I will finish this race.

You have my word.

In 2021 Logan decided to take one more year of Formula 3, in hopes of achieving more, of having a more assured future. His ice felt like verglas, further away and much thinner. 

While he had ranked lower than the first time in the championship, a majority of the team's points were won by him alone. He’d worn his gloves and slowly packed the snow together.

Still, when he received the news of Williams' support, he could not believe it., it came as a surprise. Things were looking good, he was excited. A good F2 season would give him more chances to fulfill his dream, his goal, his future. 

He exited Prema’s building, while entering William’s and felt like a rime. Excited and cold, from the rapid freezing of the water around him. He wasn’t alone. Other drivers were there, his teammate was there, but most importantly, the snow touched its ice.

Oscar Piastri was an iceberg . Logan had never met someone quieter. But Oscar didn’t have to act loud, he was loud. His presence screamed hard-work and talent. A champion in F3, that people still underestimated. People seemed to warm up to him with a bit of time, but no one could deny the ruthless gleam in his eyes. Oscar didn’t just come for a win or a road to F1. Oscar was here to be champion. 

So the hail picked up the pace. He couldn’t be beaten easily. He’d make it a challenge. 

The snow cascaded down, each day with a new speed, with a greater intent. Pieces of ice were caught in its plunge. 

Oscar became an intricate part of Logan’s life. Whether he liked it or not the videos and the activities brought them together. The ice kept the snow cold. Logan felt safe, calm. 

The boys spent time together playing on their PlayStations, looking at each other’s simulator results and laughing at jokes with the team. Nothing, however, could beat their quiet nights. 

Being with Oscar made Logan feel serene, if he didn’t want to talk, they just wouldn’t talk. If he wanted to rant, Oscar Piastri and those stupid big brown eyes of his would cling onto every sentence, every word. Logan felt listened to. He felt important. Sheltered, guarded. 

When he was with Oscar, the wind fell silent, the snow fell slowly, softly. It never melted. It got cradled.

Oscar was the Champion of the 2021 F2 season, and no matter how annoyed Logan wanted to be, the pride surging through his chest overwhelmed him. Logan was second anyways, he’d bind for his time. The only thing that this season’s results assured him, was that the snow and its ice would meet again. 

This time in F1. This time competing in their dream.

So while Oscar awaited his turn as a reserve driver for Alpine, Logan went through another season. This time with an ultimatum. If he managed to receive the correct amount points necessary for a Super License, his next year would be in a Formula 1 car, alongside Alexander Albon. 

Coming fourth in the championship allowed him to get his license. What more could he want in life?

During this season however, his ice wasn’t there. Now usually, that would be okay, however the few times they called, texted or even met up, Oscar would seem dim, tired, unsure. Not physically, no. He felt defeated, confused. Alpine had promised him a lot of things yet, there he stood, jobless, dreamless. So this time Logan packed the snow, made a fort, an igloo, anything to protect the ice. 

This is maybe, why he was so surprised when Oscar called him at 1 AM one night, something he doesn’t like to do generally, only to tell him the news. 

@OscarPiastri

I understand that, without my agreement, Alpine F1 have put out a press release late this afternoon that I am driving for them next year. This is wrong and I have not signed a contract with Alpine for 2023. I will not be driving for Alpine next year.

8:00 PM · Aug 2, 2022

44.2K Reposts 50.7K Quotes 386K Likes 4,282 Bookmarks

Next year, his ice will be orange.

Next year, his ice will have his snow.

The year started and while Sargeant realistically knew the potential of a Williams car, it still overwhelmed him. Or underwhelmed him. 

It whelmed him.  

Getting used to an F1 car was different. The step from F2 to F1 was supposed to be gradual, seamless. It was neither of those. 

Every race was a disappointment. At first he had hopes, he’d get used to the car or the car would be good enough to at least go near points. The longer time went on, the more he yearned, the more he lost. Disappointment coursed through his veins.

He was tired. 

At himself.

While at the beginning he could reason with the prospect that he was a rookie and looked at Oscar who was going through the same thing, albeit with more drama, that could not be an excuse anymore after the summer break. 

The ice was growing.

The snow was melting.

The avalanche was nosediving. 

I will show you I can do this, please. I promise you I will.

Each weekend felt like the shards of ice were slipping away from his fingers, or digging deep into the blizzard. Logan started growing quiet, reluctant. He’d seen the jokes, laughed with some even, but what got to him was the comments. 

This year, F2 drivers were chosen to drive an F1 car as a test. They got good results. 

This year, Liam Lawson, his past teammate, stepped foot in an F1 car, passed Yuki Tsunoda, got points and beat Max Verstappen to Q3.

This year, after the summer break, Oscar Piastri was breaking records and expectations alike. He was loved more by the second and gradually carved his way into being McLaren’s greatest choice and Alpine’s greatest failure. 

This year, Logan Sargeant was consistent. For a full season, he had managed to accumulate no points and be outqualified by his teammate in every race. 

His seat was being wasted. All the years of hard work and achievements, reduced to water. Melted. 

It all plunged in Qatar.

Any time someone bothered to use his face on social media, it tended to be followed by two things.

What the fuck is a kilometer, a joke which he had to admit, at first was funny.

And the eagle. 

The eagle was supposed to represent the USA. His home, his safe space. He was supposed to represent where he came from. Give it meaning and value in this sport. Yet at every moment that passed, he felt two sharp talons digging onto his shoulders. Blood dripped down. The weight of this apex predator was bringing him to his knees. He was melting. He sank.

He didn’t ask for this. He just wanted people to be proud.

He just wanted Oscar to be his equal.

He missed Oscar.

He didn’t deserve Oscar.

Logan had given up on setting expectations for himself a long time ago, so the Grand Prix started and he went along with the flow.

Entering the car, he remembers making a joke about the weather. After all, Qatar was known for its intense heat. But nothing could prepare him. Nothing could prepare anyone.

Sweat dripped down his face, fogged up his helmet, sticking each strand of hair to his balaclava. Maybe it wasn’t the fog, because with a sudden jolt, Logan realized his vision was getting blurry. The content in his stomach had been swirling around for some time now, a sensation which only aided to his growing discomfort. Every muscle ached. He could feel every tendon tense in his body. There was a weight pushing down on him. Packing him up.

Every turn he could feel the effects of the G-force. It felt intensified, worse. His hands shook around the steering wheel. He was scared for a moment. He blinked.

He opened his eyes again.

He had blacked out. For a moment sure, but he had blacked out in a car going over 250 km/h.

Lap: 23/57 SAR: 1’29.298

Sargeant: I’m feeling pretty sick. I’ll be alright.

Jego: Okay. Zhou 1.5 behind. Focus on your lap times.

Lap: 26/57 SAR: 1’34.588

Sargeant: I’m not feeling well at all.

Jego: Okay, understood. Are you happy to continue, question?

Sergeant: Yeah.

Lap: 27/57 SAR: 1’53.468

Jego: Are you feeling okay? Are you happy to continue, question?

Sargeant: Let’s keep going.

Jego: Okay.

Sergeant: I feel like I might throw up.

Lap: 32/57 SAR: 1’28.230

Sargeant: I’m not doing well, mate. Fucking hell.

Jego: Can you continue?

Lap: 33/57 SAR: 1’28.804

Vowles: Logan, you’ve fought a brave day, but let’s bring it in and call it a day. Let’s look after you.

Sargeant: James, I promise you I can do this.

Vowles: Alright, I’ll leave it to you, buddy.

Sargeant: You have my word

Lap: 39/57 SAR: 1’29.587

Sergeant: I don’t feel well man.

Jego: Are you retiring, mate? Please confirm.

Sergeant: I don’t know.

Jego: If you’re feeling unwell, you retire. Your call, buddy. Doing opposite to Hulkenberg otherwise, opposite to Hulkenberg otherwise.

Lap: 40/57 SAR: 1’51.661

Jego: Racing Bottas on pit exit. You’re the one making the call if you want to retire or not, Logan. There’s no shame in retiring if you’re feeling unwell.

Sergeant: Yeah, I need to stop. I’m stopping. I’m stopping.

Jego: Okay. Okay. Okay. We will stop. Box, box, retiring the car.

He doesn’t remember much after that.

He remembers anger, sadness, frustration and hands keeping him upright. Getting out of the car was a struggle. He could finally breathe.

He turned his head to one of the TVs in the garage and saw a blurry orange passing by.

He let go.

He came to for a moment, only to see bright lights and white walls. Slowly rising, he managed to sit upright. The room swiveled, or maybe he did. 

He felt dehydrated.

James Vowel entered the room, and for the first time that day, Logan broke down.

He didn't need water to cry. He had melted.

Oscar’s sprint win and second podium and Logan’s fifth DNF. Things to be celebrated, obviously. 

Oscar is not a party person, but having a legendary weekend is bound to make any man break character. That is why Logan refrained from texting him. Closed his phone.

He went back on an old promise. He was having a hard time, sure, but he wasn’t going to let it soil Oscar’s success. He deserved it.

At least that’s what he was trying to convince himself with.

The phone's screen lit up the darkened room. He typed.

You have a new message.

LS: Hey

Oscar Piastri picked up his jacket, bid goodbyes and left.

Wrapped under the covers, Logan didn’t even hear the knocking. What brought him back to reality, is his phone suddenly ringing and shaking the bed.

‘Open the door, mate.’ Logan blanked for a bit, got up, wore his slippers and opened the door. Hands shaking. Exhaling

Oscar Piastri in the flesh was standing before him, remarkably less drunk than he had anticipated. 

An eyebrow was raised and he moved out of the way. 

Before he realized, he felt the wood of the bed frame dig into his back. On his left, stood an iceberg. 

In the quiet.

His mind so loud, he didn’t even hear Oscar the second time he spoke, call out to him.

To be honest, he didn’t think he had more in him, yet the tears flowing down his cheeks were adamant to prove him wrong. 

Each breath that escaped him was held in cold hands, protected. 

As if he knew everything, Oscar reassured. Whispered.

No, it wasn’t his fault.

No, he wasn’t bothering him.

No, it’s completely normal and fair to feel what he’s feeling with everything that is happening.

Never, ever assume his opinions. Of course he wanted to be there.

Because Logan was a priority. He held importance.

He was important. 

The snow froze to a comfortable temperature. Its ice was encased around him.

Las Vegas.

The land of the lucky, impulsive and very, very bright and shiny lights.

Finally at home.

He’d done better these past few races. Even got points in Austin. By pure luck, sure, but points were points and Logan was not complaining. And this track was new to everyone.

And according to everyone, loved by no one.

People's expectations were all over the place.

Friday came and went. Their tyres destroyed, even in a low grip track.

Saturday came. Saturday did not leave.

Qualifying.

P6 and P7.

With Sainz’ penalty, P5 and P6.

Logan was P6. 

James was proud.

Alex was proud.

Oscar went up to him immediately, proud.

Logan was proud.

It may be a small step, but the avalanche had stopped and the clouds were liberating the snowflakes. Small and new, still unique, still falling. Landing on top of soft ice. The sun shined but nothing melted.

Logan smiled.

-End-

Please note that no matter how much I am writing here, it is all artistic speculation of what Logan himself has decided to show the world. Do not forget that these drivers are real people.

A short analysis yay:

The obvious things first, Logan is the Snow and Oscar is the Ice.

Verglas, a thin coating of ice or frozen rain on an exposed surface.

Rime, frost formed on cold objects by the rapid freezing of water vapor in cloud or fog.

The eagle is the vague legacy the America has put on Logan's shoulders and he feels like he is failing it.

The Qatar radio is completely accurate as I thought it displayed accurately how hopeless Logan sounded and probably felt

His future may be unsure, but for now things are improving.

This piece is 2,777 words I felt like that is a great omen to Las Vegas

I got emotionally attached to an american and I have no excuse besides that he actually sounds so sweet. He's just so.....american you get put off by it.

Honestly, I think this may be my weakest one. Be it because of the lack of Logan content online or just wanting to hug the dude, I needed to write something but I can't say I am the proudest. However I have decided that if it took time to write then I will post anything.

Thank you so much for reading! It would mean a lot if I managed to get some reposts, comments or liked!

If you like this, I have written more stories that can be found on my Formula 1 masterlist. Including: Lestappen and Landoscar with more to come. If it manages to spark your interest, please go support those as well!

[thevioletcaptain]

So I've been quiet on here a lot longer than planned.

The reasons are many. The reasons are varied.

The reasons are mostly fucking horrible.

Under a cut because it's long. Check tags for content warnings.

First was the expected absence: my parents came to visit me in Los Angeles over my birthday, so I spent the first half of October showing them around whenever I wasn't working a shift at my shitty department store day-job, or in class at UCLA.

Then, almost immediately after they went back to Australia, I got a second job working as a personal assistant for a composer. This was (and is) an extremely fun and rewarding job, but meant having one more thing on my weekly schedule, which was an adjustment.

Given that until halfway through last year, I'd been out of work since I immigrated in 2019, it took a while for me to get used to having so many concurrent responsibilities, and I'd just started to get a handle on things when I got sick right before the holidays. I took many covid tests -- all negative -- and eventually determined that it was just last year's strain of flu, which I hadn't managed to find time to get the shot for due to the aforementioned super busy schedule. I'm almost positive it was thanks to a particular customer at the aforementioned shitty department store job who coughed hard enough in my direction for their germs to get through my n95.

Anyway, last year's flu was a monster, and I spent a week in bed with a fever, then several more weeks being utterly drained and with a horrendous cough to match. It took a full month for me to recover, and then in mid-January, almost as soon as I started to catch up on all the things that had fallen behind while I was sick, things got bad, then good, then worse, then better, then much, much, much worse.

Basically, it starts with my dad being diagnosed with prostate cancer. He'd told me in October when they came to see me, but the surgery was scheduled for the tail end of January.

The surgery happened on a Monday, and it was a complete success. They got it all in one go. No chemo or radiation or further treatment needed at all. I spoke to him on the phone after he woke up, and he was in good spirits. Happy to have been given the all clear by his doctors.

I told him to watch Star Trek: Strange New Worlds & Evil while he rested up at home, because I'm writing specs for both this year and wanted him to be able to read them and know what was going on. He's the one who got me into sci-fi and horror, after all.

He went home.

He was home for two days.

He started feeling a bit rough on the Thursday. Short of breath. No appetite. Mum took him back to the hospital, just to be safe.

Turns out he'd had a mild heart attack. They couldn't figure out why. The echocardiogram didn't show any issues with his heart.

Then over the next couple of days, his breathing got worse. They took a scan of his lungs, and found that they were extremely inflamed. They'd given him covid tests but they came back negative. We told them about a work accident he had about 20 years ago, where a switchboard he'd been working on exploded in his face, and he'd suffered from inhalation burns among other things.

They thought that maybe something during the prostate surgery had caused irritation in his already damaged lungs, which put stress on his heart and caused the mild heart attack. He's never had any issues with his lungs since that accident, but they thought that maybe he'd just adapted to the damage over the years without realizing.

They kept trying different treatments to help his lungs heal. Nothing seemed to work. His breathing kept getting worse. They had him on as much oxygen as possible without intubating him, but it wasn't enough, so over that weekend they decided that they'd need to move him to another hospital with a more specialized lung unit.

When they were preparing to do that on the Monday night, he crashed. Another heart attack. Bigger, this time. They intubated him. Sedated him. Called my mum and told her to come in right away because things looked so bad.

But then he rallied. By the morning, though he was still sedated and intubated, the doctors were confident that with the right treatment at the specialized lung unit at the other hospital, he'd be okay. He was still in a rough condition, but stable. They transferred him to the other hospital.

He was given another covid test. This one came back positive.

My mum and brother called me once it was a reasonable time in Los Angeles to let me know what was going on, and the next day my brother booked me a flight back to Australia. I had to leave for the airport about five hours after my ticket was booked.

I got to Melbourne on February 1st.

For the next two weeks, dad was intubated, sedated, and in an isolation room. Every few days, they scanned his lungs again, and they were slowly improving.

Finally, he stopped testing positive, and was moved to a regular room in the ICU. Then he healed enough for them to extubate him and wake him up.

On February 13th, he was conscious enough to squeeze my hand when we went in to see him. On February 14th, he was conscious and capable of talking enough to ask a nurse in his ward to bring him his phone, and called mum first thing in the morning to wish her a happy Valentines Day.

Two days later, on Friday 16th, his lungs looked good enough on scans that they felt it was safe to do an angiogram, which they wanted to do just to double check that there weren't any issues with his heart that they missed with the echo.

They did the test. They found massive blockages. 90% blockage in one artery; significant blockages in two others.

Even though he'd barely recovered from covid, the blockages were bad enough that they scheduled him for open heart surgery on Monday 19th. They said without surgery there was a 100% chance that the blockages would cause another massive heart attack that he would not survive. They said there was about a 20% chance that he'd have complications, but only about 4% that they'd be serious/life threatening.

Like before, the surgery went well. Triple bypass, in the end. We got a call late on Monday afternoon to say that he was in recovery and looking good. His heart was functioning perfectly. They'd bring him out of sedation that night. Keep him in the ICU one or two days just as the standard post-op procedure. He'd spend a week or so in a cardiac ward after that, then head to a physical rehab ward for a couple of weeks until he could build back the muscle mass he'd lost while sedated.

We went in to see him the next day. Tuesday 20th. His 66th birthday.

He was tired, but looked good. Color in his cheeks. He made a couple of jokes. We left after about 45 minutes because he was pretty worn out, and we wanted to let him get some rest.

But then after, that his breathing started to get bad again. By Wednesday morning, they'd switched out the oxygen prongs in his nose for a big, high-pressure mask again. They called to let us know they were going to intubate him again so he could rest while his lungs recovered a bit more.

They struggled to get the tube in.

His lungs were deteriorating badly. He kept getting worse. We couldn't go in to see him because they were working on him all day.

At 9pm we got a call to say that he was just getting worse. They had him on 100% oxygen. He just wasn't absorbing it. His entire body was under massive strain. They were doing everything they could, but he just wasn't improving.

They said we should go in right away.

We got there by 10pm. My brother and his wife arrived about the same time. We went in to see him. He didn't look good. He looked pale. But he was warm, and he'd come back from the brink before, and we were sure he could do it again. We stayed with him for about an hour, and left not long after 11pm. Went back to my brother's place because they live closer to the hospital.

We were there about half an hour before they called us again. Just after midnight. He was gone.

That was about a week and a half ago, now. It still doesn't feel real. He was only 66. He hadn't even retired yet. He was working full time up until the week before Christmas, and had planned on going back to work a few days a week after he'd recovered from surgery. He never had any heart trouble, or lung trouble. He was active. He was fine.

My wife Zel and her mom flew in a couple of days after it happened. I barely remember anything from the past two weeks. Everything just feels fake.

I've been trying to write something to say at the funeral, which we've finally been able to arrange for next week -- it was delayed because we had to wait for dad to be released by the coroner. I don't think I'll be able to do it.

Anyway. That's where I've been.

It'll probably be a little while longer before I'm around here much, let alone posting with any regularity, because I'll be in Australia helping my mum & and my brother sort everything out. I have no idea how long I'll be dealing with stuff, or when I'll be able to make words cooperate enough to post anything, but I'll be back eventually.

I'm trying to keep an eye on Discord (I'm violetmatter over there) so you can find me there if you want. But yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know why I've been so quiet.

[lovelytsunoda]

baby, it's cold outside // daniel ricciardo

summary: daniel and his wife celebrate his first christmas without f1 with their daughter while they reminisce on how they got there.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x wife! reader

warnings: just family holiday fluff : )

author's note: why do so many of my christmas collection stories involve kids?? ( george, daniel, charles )

it was bright outside when daniel ricciardo woke up, the bright australian sunrise streaming through the blinds as he stirred in the king sized bed, pulling his wife closer. she hummed in contentment, turning over to nuzzle her face into daniel's warm, bare chest.

"morning, darlin'" the former mclaren driver chuckled, pressing a kiss to y/n's forehead. "how did you sleep?"

"fine." she hummed, eyes still closed as y/n ricciardo absorbed her husband's warmth.

the couple were spending christmas in perth with daniel's parents. y/n had always loved the ricciardo family farm, and she knew that it had always been daniel's happy place. it was a place filled with love and laughter and it had meant even more to them since they had someone else to share it with.

their little girl, cadence elizabeth.

it was march of 2018 when y/n found out she was pregnant. the couple had been married for just under two years and had been casually trying to get pregnant, and daniel would have been lying if he said that news of his daughter's impending arrival hadn't been a big factor in his inevitable move to renault. they'd tried to shield their little bundle of joy from the media for as long as they could, protecting her from the horrors of the world while she was still too young to understand.

as if on cue, the door to the guest bedroom creaked open, floorboards bending under the weight of tiny feet. daniel and his wife giggled, trying to hide further underneath the blankets as they felt the mattress dip under the weight of their new guest as she jumped up and down.

"mommy! daddy! wake up, it's christmas!" cadence elizabeth ricciardo shouted with glee, a stuffed giraffe tucked underneath her arm as she jumped up and down, her parents giggling as daniel sat up and pulled the girl into his arms.

"good mornin' kiddo." daniel laughed, pressing a kiss to his daughter's forehead as cadence giggled. "let's let mommy sleep just a little longer, okay? we'll go find grandma and grandpa and make some breakfast, what do you say"?

"and then can we do presents?" cadence begged, eyes wide and pleading.

y/n laughed, the top of her head sticking out from underneath her blanket cocoon. "eat your breakfast first, cadence. and then we'll open the presents with your grandparents, okay?"

daniel got out of the bed, lifting cadence up so that the four-year-old could sit on his shoulders as he left the bedroom. y/n watched them go with a smile, her heart filled with love for the man she married, and the bundle of joy that they created.

life hadn't always been easy. cadence had been born in january of 2019, and while daniel had been able to take the rest of the month off, he eventually had to go back to work, flying to england to help renault prepare for the season. some of the hardest moments of those first few months had been hell for y/n, having to weather it on her own as daniel travelled the world.

and it hadn't always been easy for daniel either. he had missed cadence's first steps, her first words spoken over a video call.

y/n and cadence had been in the paddock a few times before the 2019 season ended, but never for very long before she had to leave cadence with daniel's pr rep, not wanting the noise and the energy levels to upset the poor darling.

twenty-twenty had been considerably harder, but at least daniel got to spend some of it at home, making up for all the lost moments as cadence reached her first birthday. because of covid logistics, y/n and the baby hadn't been able to come to any of the races, out of concern for cadence's fragile infant immune system.

and daniel thinks that might have been when he first started to consider settling down, slowing his life down a bit. he'd always wanted a family, and now he felt like he had been neglecting the ones that he loved the most.

so when it came down to it, looking more and more likely that he was going to be ousted from mclaren, the driver wondered if it might be for the better that he took some time off to reevaluate his career and spend more time with y/n and cadence.

y/n carefully tip toed her way down the large staircase that opened up into the main floor kitchen, sleeves of her sweater pulled over her fingertips and arms crossed over her chest as she stood in the doorway with a content smile on her face.

christmas carols played on the radio while daniel stood in front of the stove, dancing subtly as he fried up some eggs. cadence was sitting on the bar stool in front of the island, grace ricciardo braiding her granddaughters hair as cadence laughed at her father, a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her.

“merry christmas, candy.” y/n giggled, pressing a kiss to her daughters head. “did you sleep well?”

cadence grinned, looking up at her mother. “look, mummy, santa was here!”

“oh, wow!” y/n played along, looking over at the sparkling christmas tree. part of her surprise was genuine, as she didn’t expect grace and joe to have bought cadence so many things. “I think santa is spoiling you.” she grinned, with a knowing and pointed look at grace, who just shrugged.

“my granddaughter has been very good this year.” grace smiled, pinching cadence's cheek.

"you spoil her." y/n mouthed with a laugh before walking the perimeter of the island so that she could stand behind daniel, wrapping her arms around his midsection and resting her head on his cheek. "merry christmas, baby."

"merry christmas, hon." danny smiled, kissing his wife on the nose before extricating himself from her hold and sipping around to face her.

the radio next to the stove was playing softly, and when the song changed, the australian couldn't help but grin as he started to sing along, taking her hand in his.

"i really can't stay, baby it's cold outside."

its the same thing every year, a family tradition if you will. that family tradition being daniel's terrible singing and a dance with his wife, who will usually humor him and join in with the singing. every time the song came on the radio, they had to stop and sing.

despite all of it's controversy, it had always been y/n's favourite christmas song, partly because for twenty-seven years of her life, she had never seen snow before. the year after they started dating, daniel had helped her make that a reality by spending christmas in austria.

"my mother will start to worry." she couldn't stop the smile spreading on her face as daniel spun her around the kitchen

"beautiful what's your hurry?" daniel sang into the whisk that he was holding while grace and cadence clapped int he background, the younger girl still attempting to teach herself the words

"my maiden aunt's mind is vicious." she sang sweetly, looping her arms around daniel's neck as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head, his baritone voice churning out the next lyric.

"gosh your lips look delicious."

"well, baby it's cold outside!"

grace and cadence clapped, and joe looked very confused as he came back inside from tending to the farm.

"what did i miss?"

"how about we start opening presents now that grandpa is back?" daniel suggested with a laugh. "cadence, why don't you go with your grandparents and pick one out. your mother and i will be in there in a minute."

"okay! come on, grandpa!" cadence laughed, running across the room to launch herself into grandpa joe's arms.

y/n laughed thoughtfully, looking at her daughter and her in-laws. "wanted some time to ourselves, did you?"

"wanted to give you something." daniel hummed, taking a small box out of the pocket of his sweatpants.

"daniel joseph ricciardo!" y/n rolled her eyes. "we talked about this! i told you not to get me anything. i have you and cadence, i don't need anything else."

"you say that every year."

"danny."

the driver laughed, passing her the box. "babe, just open it."

rolling her eyes again, y/n slipped her fingernail inside the seam of the box, opening the lid before taking in a breath. inside, on a fine satin pillow, was a pair of earrings. a pair of pearls stacked on top of each other to make little snowmen, with tiny diamonds for eyes and strips of silver for arms.

"daniel, they're gorgeous. thank you." she said softly, one hand on his cheek as she pressed up on her tiptoes to kiss her husband. "i love you."

"i love you more. taking time off from the track will be good for me. i can't wait to spend all of next season by your side, watching our little girl grow up."

"mommy! daddy! hurry up!"

the couple laughed, y/n's head still resting aginst daniel's chest as he kissed the top of her head.

"come on, let's go see what your parents bought her this year."

Tags:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @sidcrosbyspuck @daydreamingleclerc @flannel-cures @mignonricciardo