#Hol A Fresh

[curryvillain]

"Say Yes" To @ItsTheTifa's New Single

On International Women’s Day, we highlight the Women who took risks, and made bold steps to make a difference in the world. Many Women have become game changers in music, including Dancehall Artist Tifa. Her career spans well over a decade, and she has quite the discography, and place in Dancehall has been secured. Earlier, she released the new single, “Say Yes“. Produced by Kemar McGregor, Tifa…

[avoiltaire]

wanshi/pgr - super old lightning/colours practice i did a month ago 😭

[deputydexter]

Roses are red

you are looking fine

[signedkoko]

(separate) lucifer and striker with an s/o who fell from the heavens headcanons!! the more closer they get, the more they realize their s/o was one of the angels on the council but didn’t condone the extermination — of which, they were casted down to hell.

Lucifer | Striker X Reader [Romantic]

In which they know you are a fallen angel, but not the extent to which you protected hell. Reader is genderneutral.

Lucifer could sense your presence quite fast

But only because you weren't an exterminator—no, you were something far stronger

It pained him to see a new angel cast down, the first since he was, bloodied and caught in the fiery pit you'd have to call home

He understood you must have been an angel that came along after him, though, because he didn't recognize you

Either way, Lucifer offered you a place to stay and let you adjust to life in hell through his lens—a safe house where demons couldn't bother you as much

Of course, he also wanted to make sure the news of your existence didn't get out

He could only imagine the kinds of people who might want to get their hands on a fresh angel

Even though he was cast down himself, Lucifer is very flattered that you know him and that you speak so highly of him

You quickly worm your way into his heart, and he loves talking to you a lot about his past and all the things he kept buried within him

Even down here, you still seemed happy, although a tad uneasy

He won't pressure you for your backstory too much, but with his knowledge of heaven he is able to gather that you were at least a mid-ranking angel on the council

Your position exactly, he wasn't sure

He only found out after he spoke about his daughter's plan with the hotel

" Thats a wonderful idea! They may cast me down for demanding an end to extermination, but I won't let them ruin your daughters redemption plans. "

You dropped it so casually that he almost missed it, swooning at how supportive of Charlie you were

Actually chokes

Please give him a moment to catch his breath because, wait, really?

That explains a lot, at least

Of course, heaven would cast down the most beautiful of angels just for being kind to even the most damned beings

That same anger within him roars back to life, both for you being shut down and for how he, too, was treated in heaven

He'd make sure your life was far better here, no matter what it took

Being a fallen angel is already an extremely worrisome background for Striker, especially following his hate for royalty

Not that a fallen angel is royalty, but the power dynamic is hard for him to get over, as guilty as he feels now for holding it against you

When you first met, he saved you from another bounty hunter

Saved is the wrong word

He stole you so he could get a prize himself

But it all backfired when you were just so kind and curious, and offering you up to some terrible people didn't feel like the right move

Striker told himself he'd hold onto you until he knew the true value of an angel, but that may have just been him stalling for time

Either way, your charm worked wonders, and now he was stuck with the most attention-grabbing partner in all of hell

Oh well, he knew he could protect you

While he was curious about your life in heaven, Striker was extremely used to not asking questions about others past

But the more he knew, the more he wanted to know

Every few months, you'd tell a story that revealed a new interesting piece of information, things that made him wonder what you had to have done to be so harshly cast down

It all made sense when he puzzled it together one afternoon, when you were particularly fond of your past memories

" I hope Em isn't in trouble too. "

" Why so? "

" Well, she also thought killing demons was pretty bad... "

" Of course, hun. "

As usual he nods along with you before he freezes and jumps out of his chair

" Hol on now, what? "

Striker is able to puzzle things together fast, and he's not sure if he's more pissed at the angels above you or if he's surprised you felt that way

He'd always assumed no angels thought good of demons, but this changed things

Next extermination, he wants to have a hand at capturing one of those winged fuckers and seeing if he can force some more out of them

Author's Note - DEVIL FINALLY I GOT TO UR REQ!!! More Striker content, love to see it- and ofc Lucifer, who I know is about to be eaten up by every person in this god forsaken community. Thank you for requesting 🖤

[imaginedanvrs]

impractical caller

masterlist

ronin!kate x reader

word count: 7k

warnings: marvel canon injuries, blood loss, alcohol consumption, break ins, guns, (empty) death threats, power imbalance, clothed/unclothed sex, fingering, oral, praise, strap on mention

You yawned as you trudged through your dim apartment with your arms full of your latest grocery shop you had forced yourself to pick up just after your shift. It had been one of the most hectic nights you had experienced ever since moving to the city, something you were quickly learning you needed to adjust to because your shifts were far more intense than they were when you lived in a rural town and it didn’t help that it happened to be a friday night. You wanted nothing more than to change into your pjs and fall asleep to whatever animated show appeared on your laptop first. 

  Once you finished putting your groceries away, you made your way to your bathroom but froze when you spotted the splatter of blood in the doorway. You took a tentative step back and noticed that drops of blood led, or came from, the door to your apartment that you had failed to notice in your overworked state. You put your brain into gear as your mind raced at the literal countless possibilities of what could be behind your bathroom door. Why the hell did you move to the city? 

  “If you're that unobservant I’m not sure I want your help,” a voice called from the other side of the door. You pushed it open slightly, enough to see a covered figure slumped against your bathtub in a mess of blood. Your first aid kit was by their side and had clearly been torn into and disregarded by the stranger who you suddenly recognised. 

  “You’re the ronin,” you stated, unsure whether to call the police or ambulance first. 

  “Yep,” the voice grunted as they gripped their side. You couldn’t see any injuries through the thick suit but you could gather that that was where the most pressing one was situated. “And you’re a paramedic,” they stated. “Do your job,” they ordered, their grey eyes locking on yours with a silent threat. 

  “You need an ambulance,” you told them, taking a cautious step back but halting immediately when the masked stranger pulled a handgun out from behind their back and pointed it straight at you. 

  “No ambulance,” they spat. 

  “Okay,” you swallowed as you raised your hands and gradually moved to kneel down next to them in the cramped bathroom. They watched your every move as you opened your bathroom cabinet and grabbed everything you needed. In your experience, you had witnessed enough home accidents that you were prepared for any kind of injury you could endure in your flat, luckily for the stranger. “I need to see it,” you told them as you held up the sterilising wipes. They nodded, pulling at the gap in their suit to display the deep incision in their side. 

  Though you had many questions about the injury before you, you didn’t dare ask them as you worked silently in cleaning the area. “You need to take the suit off, I can’t see what I’m doing,” you told them honestly. 

  “No,” they countered immediately. You paused for a second when you heard the feminine undertone in their voice peek through, apparently in too much pain to continue to try and disguise it. 

  “But I need-” you didn’t finish your request because she cocked her gun as she continued to keep it in line with you. Your heart thrummed in your chest, never having been so close to an actual gun before. You eyed the weapon as you brought several fresh wipes up the slash and ran them gently over the top, producing a sharp hiss from the stranger. “Sorry,” you muttered without any actual sympathy. She glared at you and used her free hand to pull at her suit from the neck, dragging it down until it pooled at her waist and gave you full access to the slash you now realised to be far bigger than you had anticipated and bleeding heavily. You cursed, pressing your nearest towel to the gash with a calculated amount of pressure. 

  “Can you hold it?” You asked. Her head tilted to the side as she assessed you, most likely sure that you were trying to trick her. “I need to prepare the stitches,” you told her seriously, recognising that the vigilante’s life was very much in your hands. She agreed and held the rough fabric with her free hand as she watched you swiftly sterilise and prep the equipment needed with a practised efficiency that pushed your fight or flight to the back of your mind so you could focus on the task at hand. 

  “How long ago did this happen?” You questioned as you brought the needle up to her exposed flesh. You needed to keep her talking but the information was crucial as well, even if you were limited as to what you could do with it on your own. 

  “An hour,” she guessed, grunting when you began to push the needle in. “Fuckers,” she cursed. 

  “More than one?” You enquired as you worked steadily. 

  “That’s the norm,” she told you openly, perhaps feeling the need to distract herself. “They just don’t usually manage to hit me back,” she chuckled through the pain. 

  “So I’ve heard,” you muttered, feeling the woman shoot you a look that you didn’t acknowledge. “Why did you come to me?” You continued. 

  “You were…closest,” she told you, her breathing growing heavier by the second. You were half way through and she was still losing too much blood. 

  “Yeah? You know where all the paramedics live?” You half joked. 

  “Only the pretty ones,” she couldn’t help but quip. You glanced up, noticing the sparks of mischief that were struggling to get through the fog of pain. You didn’t entertain her remark, even if you were fully aware of how her abs were tensing as you stitched her up. 

  “No one knows who you are, why didn’t you just take the suit off and call for an ambulance?” You questioned as you started to finish up. 

  “And pay thousands for something I can get you to do for free?” She struggled to laugh again. 

  “It’s not the same,” you were quick to interject. “I’ve stopped the bleeding but I have no idea what kind of damage you’ve sustained,” you pointed out in hopes that the stranger would understand how limited you were as to what you could do for her. 

  “Figure it out,” she countered as though it was that simple, pushing the gun further towards you. 

  “If you kill me you’ll probably die too,” you told her. “And I thought you only went after the bad guys,” you challenged, letting your adrenaline talk for you. 

  “I go after people who cause me problems,” she replied, returning your challenging gaze with more intensity. You were the first to avert your eyes. “I’ll sleep on your couch,” she announced. 

  “Not in those bloody clothes,” you objected. “You can wear some of mine,” you told her adamantly. She stared back at you as you got up off of the bloody floor that you knew you were going to need to clean as soon as she was out of the bathroom. “You can keep the mask on,” you told her as you left, rolling your eyes to yourself. 

  You brought back some grey sweatpants and navy blue sweatshirt, assuming it would be best to give the stranger the darkest shirt you had in case she stained it. “Let me help,” you offered when she grimaced at the stretch of lifting the shirt up. 

  “No,” she objected at once. You huffed at her stubbornness, hoping that you weren’t going to have to have her as a houseguest for too long. 

  “If you pull your stitches out I’m not putting them back in,” you told her as you shut the door to give her some privacy. That was a lie, you would put them back in, but you wouldn’t be happy about it. 

  You walked to your kitchen with a shaky exhale, feeling your adrenaline wear off by the minute but also finding yourself becoming less unnerved by the ronin. You didn’t believe she was going to hurt you and you could see her threats were entirely empty, but you did want to help her. It was inconvenient to say the least to have someone of her character laying in your bathroom and her demeanour was beginning to get on your nerves, but your blind (and probably reckless) need to help her was the exact reason you became a paramedic. The only thing you needed to consider was whether or not to call an ambulance once she no doubt passed out on your sofa. You predicted it wouldn’t take long in her condition. 

  You brought a pan of water to the boil and added enough pasta for two with the intention of trying to encourage your guest to eat but you paused when you heard a dull thud from the bathroom. You left the pasta to cook as you knocked on the door and called out. “Everything okay in there?” You asked. You didn’t get a response for a few seconds. 

  “No,” she admitted. You opened the door to her gripping onto your bathtub with a frustrated might as she attempted to haul herself to her feet. You quickly got to her side and put your hand around her waist to help her to her feet with some difficulty. She didn’t thank you once she was standing but continued to use your assistance to go the short distance to your sofa where she ungracefully collapsed down with a groan. You took in her outfit with some amusement, wondering if she felt as ridiculous as she looked to be wearing the ronin hood and balaclava with your clothes. She glared at you when you caught her eye and you knew she could tell what your opinion on her attire was. 

  “You gonna sleep in that?” You asked with a small smile. 

  “I don’t think you’re one to judge fashion choices,” she quipped irritably. You looked down at your outfit with a frown. What the hell?

  “I just got off a twelve hour shift,” you exclaimed. “It’s this or have everyone on the subway ask me to look at their foot funguses,” you told her defensively, remembering the day you had forgotten to bring a change of clothes and went home in your uniform. 

  “Fungi,” she corrected. You chewed the inside of your cheek as you went back to the kitchen to prepare a few more ingredients in silence, glaring at the stranger every so often but also checking that she was still conscious…or even alive. 

  Once everything was left to simmer, you returned to the bathroom to begrudgingly clear up only to notice that the handgun was laying abandoned on the floor. You wondered if the ronin realised, assuming she wouldn’t have pointed it out or asked you to retrieve it for her under the assumption that you would refuse or even use it against her but you didn’t entertain the idea for a second, instead moving it to the side with your foot as you began to clean the floor and reorganise your cabinet. 

  The stranger was watching you when you stepped out of the bathroom, gun in hand. She stared at you warily, eyes darting down to her weapon and shifting when you started in her direction slowly. “To be honest with you,” you started as you glanced down at the gun. “It’s probably smarter if you keep ahold of this,” you told her, holding the barrel as you extended the weapon towards her that she swiftly grabbed ahold of. Following the possibility that anyone had followed her to your apartment, it was easy to conclude she would be far more useful with the weapon. “Please don’t make me regret that,” you winced at her abruptness. 

  To your surprise, she emptied the ammo out of the handgun into her lap and placed them all on the table next to her along with the gun. “Thanks,” you muttered. “You should eat,” you told her as you went to dish up your own plate. She didn’t reply so you put the rest of the meal onto another plate and handed it to her with cutlery and didn’t leave much room for her to protest. “I’d rather not have you die in my flat, my landlord already hates me,” you told her as you sat down on the chair opposite the tv and switched it on. 

  “Why?” She asked out of sheer curiosity. 

  “He hates everyone,” you shrugged, glancing over at the stranger and noticing she was making no move to start eating. “If you take the mask off I promise not to look,” you assured with complete honesty, even if you were curious as to what kind of face lay underneath. She looked back at you for a few moments before pulling the mask and hood off in front of you. 

  You blinked, now that was not what you were expecting. The raven haired woman stared back at you blankly until a small smirk flickered across her lips upon the recognition that you were accidentally checking her out. Despite being ghostly pale from the blood loss and looking entirely dishevelled, you couldn’t deny that the woman sitting in your living room was hot. Your eyes flickered to hers and you quickly looked away when you saw her smirk and forced your attention onto the tv that was playing one of the Transformers films. You didn’t turn it off, instead beginning to eat and seeing the ronin do the same out of the corner of your eye.

  You sat in silence until you both finished your meal, content on letting the overly animated action scenes fill the room. You could feel the raven haired woman’s gaze settling on you from time to time and you tried not to acknowledge it but it proved difficult once you had seen her green eyes more clearly. “Thank you,” she said once she finished. 

  “No problem,” you muttered as you took both your plates into the kitchen and began washing up. “I noticed you helped yourself to some painkillers,” you called from the sink. 

  “They didn’t do shit,” the woman grumbled. “I need something stronger,” she told you.

  “You’ll need a prescription for that,” you said, already knowing what she was getting at. 

  “Can’t you get me some?” She questioned as she peered at you. 

  “No, and you’re not the first to ask me that,” you told her. “If you want something stronger you’ll have to go to-”

  “Yeah, yeah I get it thanks,” she waved. You smiled to yourself as you watched her grumble, finding it kind of unfair that she was able to look that attractive when she was bleeding out and pissed off. 

  “What’s your name?” You asked when the ads began to play on the tv. The woman turned to you with a raised brow. 

  “You really think I’d tell you that?” She questioned.

  “I generally like to know the names of the people who sleep over,” you said. She began to smirk again and shifted herself slightly so that she had a better view of you from her spot on the sofa. 

  “And do you get a lot of people sleeping over?” She enquired with an interested grin. 

  “Not when there’s someone bleeding out on my sofa. Tends to put them off,” you teased right back, earning a more genuine smile from her. “Come on, I’m not gonna tell anyone. Who would even believe me? Which is what you must have been thinking when you took the mask off,” you pushed, strolling back into the living room where you settled on the arm of the sofa. “I’m y/n,” you greeted. 

  “I know,” she said simply as she repositioned again with a firm hand to her stomach. 

  “Well now it really is only fair that I know your name,” you pointed out. She hummed, looking you up and down as though she was trying to decide if she could truly trust you or not. She already did - to an extent. She knew she could trust you to save her life and she knew she could trust you to provide refuge for a couple days, she just wasn’t sure if she was willing to extend it any further until she caught sight of her gun still placed next to her. 

  “Kate,” she said simply. 

  Kate, that suited her, you thought. 

  “Nice to meet you, Kate,” you offered. 

  “Really?” 

  “Well, no to be honest, I planned on having a quiet night but I guess the company could be worse,” you replied transparently though the smile teasing your lips simply made Kate hum in understanding. 

  “I’ll be out of your hair soon,” she told you sincerely. 

  “It’s alright…honestly,” you assured, not wanting her to push herself too suddenly and ending up causing more damage. She nodded and you noticed the exhaustion suddenly hit Kate full on as she settled herself into the sofa. You grabbed her a water bottle, more painkillers and a couple blankets from your room and by the time you returned to her she was out cold. You walked towards her tentatively and placed two fingers to her wrist as you watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. Surprisingly, her pulse was steady so you turned the main light off and put on a nearby lamp so that you would be able to come and check on her throughout the night. 

  As you lay in your bed that night, you heavily contemplated making a call to your fellow first responders. Although Kate’s condition was stable each time you checked on her and she had seemed to be coping surprisingly well with it when she was awake, you couldn't say for sure that she would stay that way. More so, if she didn’t make it through the night, that would be on you for not getting her the help she needed. Yet remembering how adamant she had been about you not calling anyone, you complied with her wish and instead checked on her periodically until the morning came. 

  “You’re awake,” you stated when you ventured into the main space to find Kate sat up. 

  “Did you come in here last night?” She questioned with a slight frown. 

  “A couple times,” you admitted. “To check on you,” you added. You felt Kate’s gaze on you as you poured some water into the kettle. “Coffee?”

  “No thanks,” she replied, apparently not wanting to enquire further about your visits. You let the appliance boil as you turned back to her and chewed the inside of your cheek, trying to see if her shirt was soaked through across her torso. 

  “I should check that,” you told her. 

  “Hurts like a bitch,” she muttered as she lifted her sweatshirt up for you to assess. 

  During the night it had crossed your mind that Kate might have some kind of advanced healing, but as you examined her wound you noticed that she definitely didn’t have such abilities and had to make do with a normal healing factor. The slash had weeped slightly around the edges but it also wasn’t looking any worse which was the best realistic result you could have hoped for. 

  “Just needs a bit of cleaning,” you informed her. 

  “I’ll do it, just leave the stuff with me,” she said without looking at you. 

  “Sure,” you nodded and brought the cleaning wipes to her. You tried to be subtle as you watched Kate while you made yourself a drink, stopping yourself from jumping in everytime she winced from the contact she inflicted. You guessed she had woken up to a bruised pride and decided it would be best to leave her to it for a while as you jumped in the shower and got ready for the day. 

  When you came back out, Kate was asleep again. She was far more peaceful when she slept, even if it was her body’s way of providing her brief relief from her injuries. Very brief. She awoke when you picked up your keys from the kitchen island, meeting your sheepish smile. “I have a few errands to run and I should pick up some things for you,” you told her. “Do you want anything?” She shook her head. “Try and get some rest,” you prompted because it seemed as though she was reluctant to. 

  You closed the apartment door and lingered for a moment in the hallway as you considered whether or not you should really be leaving Kate alone. But it wasn’t something you could put off. You needed more supplies for her. With that in mind, you set off, leaving Kate to entertain herself inside your apartment for the next hour. 

  Though you came back to the tv playing, you were convinced Kate spent the entire time sleeping by the way the blankets were wrapped around her. She inevitably startled awake when the door opened but you had been able to catch a glimpse at the image of her with the blankets pulled up to her chin. “Good nap?” You couldn’t help but comment despite her irritable mood before you left. She didn’t respond so you pulled some fresh wipes and pain relief out your bag, Kate’s eyes widening at the later.

  “Are these stronger?” She asked as she examined the pack. 

  “Supposedly, they’re a new brand,” you explained, which seemed to be enough for Kate because she downed the maximum dosage at once. “And I got you some soup,” you added. 

  “Thanks grandma,” Kate chuckled. 

  “Or I can just have it myself,” you pointed out with a huff. 

  “You wouldn’t,” Kate tested.

  “No, and you’re lucky for that.” The raven haired woman hummed with a smile as you warmed up the meal dutifully. 

  The rest of the day went by with relative ease because Kate spent the majority of it sleeping. It seemed she needed it though every time she woke up she denied it with a swift disregard that always made you roll your eyes. You supposed someone so used to having the physical highground had a hard time admitting she had human weaknesses because she could never afford to show them, making you wonder what Kate’s life was like beyond her vigilante pastime. Did she work? Did she have a family? Friends? You knew that she wasn’t going to give you an answer to those questions but you still couldn’t help but ponder them when you caught a glance of her flicking through the tv channels. 

  “You’re very indecisive,” you said when you glanced up from your phone to see Kate still flicking through ten minutes later. 

  “When did tv get so bad?” She grumbled. 

  “You don’t watch it much?” You pried.

  “I never have the time,” she told you absently before tossing the remote back to you to pick something out. 

  “Too many criminals to kill?” You continued. 

  “This is New York,” she shrugged. 

  “But that’s like, not all you do, right?” You pushed gently, waiting for the raven haired woman to pull a wall up at a moment’s notice. 

  “Of course not,” she said instead. 

  “So what do you do? Apart from crash on stranger’s sofas?” You smiled. 

  “Things I need to get back to,” she answered. 

  Damn. 

  “Can I check it?” You asked when you noticed Kate shift uncomfortably. She didn’t hesitate to nod, lifting her shirt up before you were even standing. You crouched down in front of the sofa and inspected the wound under Kate’s gaze. “How’s the pain?” 

  “Bearable,” she muttered as she watched you examine her. “Do you treat a lot of people with injuries like this?” She asked seemingly at random. 

  “It’s not as common as people think, but I’ve dealt with my fair share,” you explained. “In my old job a lot of the calls we got were false alarms,” you recalled. “I kinda miss that.”

  “So why are you here?” 

  “I wanted a new challenge I suppose,” you told her.

  “I get that,” Kate agreed. 

  “Evidently,” you quipped as you pulled her shirt back down, the tips of your fingers grazing her toned stomach as they went. “Is that what you have to get back too as well?”

  “Yep,” she huffed, switching her attention back to the tv as you willed yourself not to think about how her abs had flexed under your touch and how her other muscles would feel under your fingertips. 

  “Me too, I’ll be up at six tomorrow morning for work and I won’t be back until nine,” you told her as you sat back down. “You gonna be okay?” You asked as casually as you could, having learnt that Kate didn’t respond well to sympathy. 

  “I’ll be waiting patiently to hear about all the other people who have been stabbed that you heal,” she replied simply, placing a hand over her bandage. You hummed in amusement. 

  “I’ll make sure to get some good stories,” you quipped.

  “Then you should probably go to bed,” Kate responded as she glanced at the clock on the wall. 

  “Are you trying to get rid of me in my own home, Kate?” You smiled and your guest tried to conceal her own grin at your comment. 

  “Perhaps,” was all she said as she pretended to be interested in the tv. 

  “Don’t worry, I can take a hint,” you insisted, standing up from your armchair. “Just shout if you need me, okay?” Kate nodded unconvincingly but given her current state you knew you were going to end up checking on her at least a couple times anyway. 

  “Thank you,” she muttered once your back was to her. It carried a sincerity you hadn’t heard from Kate before and shocked you momentarily. 

  “No problem,” you shrugged, not sure what else to say so you carried on through the small apartment to your bedroom. 

*

You stared down at the note with an etch of confusion that you knew you knew you shouldn’t really have felt. From what you had learnt about the vigilante, this hardly seemed out of character. Kate was gone and the only trace she had left that she had ever stayed on your sofa was the note on your coffee table where her gun had been. You had anticipated that when she eventually left you wouldn’t get a goodbye, but you hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Sure, she was stable and yes she was a less than convenient house guest, but you were undeniably concerned for the vigilante.

  Thanks for patching me up, doc. See you around ;) -K

  You wondered if she really did have the intention to come and see you again but quickly dismissed that thought, knowing that if Kate did come back to your apartment, it would be with another injury for you to deal with and not just for the pleasure of your company. You were entirely right. It was almost two months later when you found Kate in your apartment again. 

  “I thought you said you had other paramedics to bother,” you huffed as you shut your apartment door and threw your bag to the side, missing your coat rack by a metre. 

 “Are you drunk?” Kate interrogated with a frown as she watched you make your unsteady way towards her. 

  “It’s friday night,” you shrugged. “I do have a life you know,” you mumbled as you knelt before where Kate was sitting on your sofa to see the wound of her calf she had exposed. Gunshot wound. 

  “Miraculously. How did you not freeze to death in that getup?” She quipped as she took in your band tee and ripped jeans. 

  “After everything I do for you, you always have something to say about my clothes,” you grumbled. Kate smirked as she watched you sort through everything she had raided your bathroom of, half considering leaving to find a paramedic that was sober. “You don’t need stitches this time,” you commented so Kate decided to stay and entertain herself. “And you’re lucky I didn’t bring that girl home,” you continued as you began to clean her calf. 

  “Oh yeah?” Kate pushed with interest. 

  “Oh yeah, there could be someone else on this sofa right now,” you said somewhat proudly. 

  “Then how come there’s not?” She asked as she watched you work, thinking to herself that she could grow used to the sight of you kneeling in front of her. 

  “My friend got wasted so I wanted to make sure she got home okay,” you recalled. “So now I won’t be getting laid tonight.” Kate hummed. 

  “Ask nicely and we’ll see,” the raven haired woman shrugged. You scoffed as you finished up, ignoring the unfairly attractive smirk playing on Kate’s lips. 

  “You’re funny,” you disregarded as you felt your blood rush to your cheeks. 

  When you emerged from the bathroom to put everything back where Kate had grabbed it from, you noticed her lacing her boots back on, apparently ready to leave. “There’s no need to stay the night this time,” she shrugged. That was true and she was the single most irritating guest you had ever had, but you had somewhat wished she would stick around a bit longer. Kate was annoying as hell, but also had her moments of being amusing to be around. Not to mention she was certainly easy on the eyes and you wouldn’t object to seeing a glimpse of her muscles again. You definitely just needed to get laid. 

  “Do you want me to turn around so you can sneak out again?” You quipped. 

  “I thought I’d be generous and let you watch me go,” she replied with a wink as stood. 

  “Generous would be wearing a tighter fitting outfit,” you fired back just as easily before turning back to your room. “Until next time, Kate,” you waved over your shoulder, missing how her eyes watched your figure go. 

*

The next time you saw Kate, it wasn’t in your apartment, it was while you were working. It certainly wasn’t a situationship you had ever visualised playing out and if you had it would have been through a nightmare instead of one of the occasional daydreams you had of her. 

  “Fuck, maybe if we just offer this guy to them they’ll go,” your coworker called out from the opposite side of the room where he hid behind an upturned sofa. 

  “Absolutely not,” you snapped as you continued to attempt to stop the bleeding of the man lying unconscious by you. 

  “L/n, this guy might be just as bad as them. It’s him or us,” your coworker continued until another rain of bullets fired across the apartment. It wouldn’t be long before they finally broke into the house and realistically, you predicated it would happen before the cops showed up. You cursed to yourself, weighing the options that you should never have had to. “I didn’t sign up for this,” he continued to groan.

  More demands came from outside the house in a language you couldn’t identify or hope to understand. You didn’t have much more time to ponder it though, because the door burst open and three men charged inside. You squeezed your eyes shut at the sight of the heavy guns just a couple feet from you, waiting for the inevitable. However, instead of feeling the bullets tear through your body, you heard the yelling turn into distressed cries and the striking sound of a blade piercing the air then flesh. 

  You peered up, relieved at the sight of Kate, or the ronin, cutting the intruders down with impressive ease and precision. Her skills were enchanting to witness, even if they did cause a bloody end to those she fought but you had little sympathy for them. In a matter of moments, the intruders lay dead at Kate’s feet just as the sirens came into proximity. Kate glanced back at you briefly, reading the thank you from your lips, before leaving with swift haste. 

*

“You’re welcome,” Kate said as you stepped through your main door. You barely glanced in the direction of where she stood in the kitchen, helping herself to the beer from your fridge. 

  “That was crazy,” you sighed as you sauntered to the kitchen and took the beer out of Kate’s hands to take a swig. 

  “Hey, I earned that,” she told you so you placed it back in her hands. “And now we’re even. You saved my life and I saved yours.” She told you matter of factly. 

  “I also dealt with your leg,” you pointed out as you grabbed one of the microwaveable meals you kept for the days like that where you couldn’t be bothered to cook. “And bought extra supplies for you, let you stay the night, eat my food and drink,” you continued as you punched in the numbers and let the appliance start cooking. 

  “Want me to buy you flowers?” Kate asked with a raised brow as she leant back on the counter. You rolled your eyes with a poorly concealed smile. 

  “I want to destress after that shit show,” you said simply. 

  “I could help with that,” she suggested lowly, taking a step towards you with that mischievous look in her eye. 

  “Yeah? You wanna go run me a bath?” You questioned as you watched Kate draw closer. 

  “I had the bedroom in mind,” she said far too slyly as she stepped into your space and placed a hand on the counter behind you to trap you in place. 

  “You seem comfortable here,” you whispered. No need to shout when your lips were an inch away from hers. 

  “So do you,” she bit back, adamant on having the last word as she cupped your chin and closed the gap between you. 

  She tasted of the beer she had stolen but also something that was uniquely and indescribably Kate. You didn’t know her very well. You didn’t know her body, her scent or her taste, but at that moment of contact you swore you would learn every inch of her and judging by the way her free hand gripped your waist, Kate felt that same need. 

  “You want this?” She asked between breathless kisses. You merely moaned in approval when she slipped her tongue between your lips and gripped onto her collar to immerse yourself deeper. 

  “Fuck me,” you told her as you took the hand on your waist and guided it to the waistband of your trousers. She watched you with darkened eyes as you pushed her hand past the fabric to feel the thin cloth between her skin and yours. Kate groaned lowly as she met the damp material, pushing you further into the kitchen counter as you withdrew your hand to let her do as she pleased. 

“Eyes on me, pretty girl,” the vigilante demanded as she teased your covered lips. “You’re so wet. You know, if you wanted me to fuck you this bad, all you had to do was ask,” she smirked, You had just enough defiance left in you to retort but never got the chance because Kate slipped two fingers inside yu without another word, admiring the shock and lust in your locked eyes as she did so. 

  “Kate,” you whined as she wasted no time in pumping her digits steadily into you. 

  “You feel so good wrapped around me,” she told you with a smirk that only made you wetter. She didn’t miss your body’s response, feeling you clench as she fingered you faster and delved into your depths deep enough to make your head spin. She was working your body with an eager haste as she watched carefully for what made you react in the ways she searched for. 

  “So responsive,” she muttered to herself more than you. You didn’t respond, too focused on how perfectly her fingers fit inside you and how she was suddenly able to find that hidden gem that made you cry out. 

  “Don’t stop,” you pleaded, clinging to Kate tighter as she happily complied. 

  “Open up a bit more, baby,” Kate coached. You did and the wet sounds from between your legs were amplified next to your moans. “So good,” the older woman praised as she began to toy with your neglected clit. You bucked into her hand at the contact, unable to stop yourself until Kate placed you firmly back down with a strong hold. The simple display of power was easy to submit to. 

  “M’gonna cum,” you told the archer as you constricted on her digits you wanted to keep inside. Unfortunately, Kate had other ideas and withdrew her fingers from your soaked cunt as abruptly as she had begun. 

  “Bedroom,” she simply ordered before you could object and delivered a firm smack to your ass as you stumbled through the apartment  and landed on your bed when Kate pushed your back. 

  “You’ve got too many clothes on,” she said with an etch of frustration as you turned onto your back. 

  “So have you,” you countered as you gazed at the dark leather suit. She did look hot in it, but you wanted to see all of her. Kate smiled in response as though you had made an endearing request and pulled your trousers and underwear off. She positioned you up the bed comfortably as she began to plant wet kisses across your legs, biting on the sensitive skin of your thighs with a grin. 

  Just as she neared where you needed her the most, she hauled you up and immediately strippedyou of your shirt and bra. In all honesty, you weren’t sure how to get Kate’s suit off and it didn’t seem like she was about to share. Instead, as she left light bruises in the valley between your breasts, you reached under her suit to scratch at her abs. They flexed under your touch and Kate made a noise deep in her throat. Your eyes were entrapped in her own as she made her way back down your body and settled between your legs, still fully clothed while you lay naked and desperate beneath her. 

  Tangling your fingers through her dark locks, you gazed down at the beautiful vigilante as she kissed your pussy, eager and open mouthed. “You taste so good, sweetheart,” she told you, flattening her tongue to truly savour the wetness she had caused. She moaned with you, sending sweet vibrations through every buzzing nerve in your system as she sought to make you come undone with her mouth. The sight alone of her face buried between your legs and peering up at you was enough to drive you wild. 

  Kate was arrogant about it, smirking against you as you called her name like a prayer, more than ready to tease you about it the next time you met. 

  She was insatiable in the way she fucked you, barely giving herself a chance to breathe as if your taste was more important. When she did pause briefly, it was to spit directly on your pussy as she watched you, like she wanted to add to the mess you had become. 

  “Good fucking girl,” Kate hummed and slipped her tongue inside you. “You look so precious when you squirm,” she commented as she noted your desperation as you became increasingly submerged in the pleasure. Kate gripped your thighs as she buried her tongue deep in your cunt, flexing the muscle as best she could to explore you. 

  You throbbed in Kate’s mouth, all too immersed in what she was doing to your body and the way she coached you to your climax again, this time with a more generous intent. “Cum for me, baby,” she ordered. You didn’t need more encouragement than that and yet Kate’s moans grew louder with your own as you came. 

  “Kate,” you whined as your entire body pulsed and shuddered.

  “I know,” she replied as she let you ride out your orgasm with her tongue cleaning you up until you became too sensitive and pushed Kate away weakly.

  With your eyes shut with exhaustion, you missed Kate working to pull down her suit trousers until she was making her way back towards you. “I’m gonna ride your face,” she told you matter of factly when you noticed her glistening cunt. You didn’t object and gripped what was uncovered of her thighs to bring her down to your awaiting mouth. She tasted heavenly. You barely noticed the rough material of her suit against your neck as you sucked on her throbbing clit. She was quieter than you, most likely wanting to keep her composure, but her arousal was clear with how she was practically dripping down your chin. 

  “That’s it,” she told you when she began to grind against your tongue and gave little consideration for your ability to breathe. Kate was so immersed in her pleasure that it felt as though she was merely using your body for that sole purpose and the thought drove you to suck on her harsher, needing Kate to get that relief from you. 

  The raven haired woman gripped onto the headboard like a lifeline as her hips moved wildly against your tongue, uttering the occasional breathy praise and flushing at the sight of your eagerness. “So willing to please, aren’t you?” She asked as if you could respond coherently. 

  You ignored the distant ache in your jaw when Kate’s moans became more erratic and doubled your efforts to provide her with the same bliss she had given you. “Yes, don’t stop,” she called out several times as she grinded against your face as though it was one of her own personal toys, cumming with a hitch to her breath and a sharp cry. The sight was one that would keep you up at night for the foreseeable future, envisaging the moment you made the vigilante fall apart. 

  Kate took her time riding out her high and peered down at you with an excited grin. “I wish I had my strap,” she muttered as moved to straddle your waist and run her hands down your torso before flipping you over. 

  You were about to tell her about what you had hidden in your closet when she offered something better. “But seeing how much you’ve been drooling over my abs,” she started with a well placed cockiness, “you can ride them instead,” Kate instructed as she pulled the suit up enough to expose her lower stomach and pulled you flush against her.

[babiigirly]

MC with anxiety and depression

pairings/mentions: brothers x reader

cw: anxiety, depression, bottling up emotions, very slight spoilers of the OG!OM, not proofread (lmk if there's more.)

A/n: i will write the dateables and maybe the undateables as soon as I free up my schedule. For now, I hope you enjoy the brothers' part and that it brings you at least a dash of comfort:))

Read more: Babi's Masterlist

~ ~ ~

Since coming to the Devildom and growing closer and more comfortable with the brothers, you've promised yourself that you know better than showing how vulnerable you can get in times when your anxiety kicks in and your depression takes over.

You had always wished for a new start, a fresh one, away from those who left you all alone feeling the way you do. You had seen the exchange program at RAD as an opportunity to do just that, to forget about your life in the human world and become a new person, to try and be someone with lots of potential.

Of course, the first few months of your life living under the same roof of 7 powerful demons was chaos, but you told yourself that you won't let that break you, even though you know how close you are from falling apart. There were times when you experienced anxiety and panic attacks and your emotions getting the best of you, and you have no one to turn to, so you stay and attempt to keep quiet in the privacy of your room.

However, time passes by, and you've finally found a place for yourself in the House of Lamentation, you wondered how long it would take for you to finally show how you truly are to the brothers as you feel your mental conditions getting worse.

Your secrets were not completely unveiled, but symptoms and tendencies that occur often begin to concern the brothers, royals, and purgatory boys. They know how it feels. They've been there, but they don't know if it works the same for humans. But still, they don't stop there, and they decide to help you with small gestures.

Lucifer would reduce the works you have to do, both at RAD and at HoL. He invites you to his office or his room, insisting he needs to be kept company, but truly, he just wants to see as you relax and slowly fall asleep from whatever you decided to do as you enjoy the silence between you two, away from his brothers and all the chaos around you. Lucifer will never bring it up to you or be verbal about it. Instead, he tries to tell you through his actions that he's here for you no matter what.

Mammon makes sure he's always by your side to make sure you're laughing and having a great time. If he notices that you're being overwhelmed by his brothers and everyone else, he wil, drag you away from them and bring you to a good hiding plave with a nice and relaxing view. He will never pressure you or anything, but once he notices that you're bottling up your feelings again, he tells you that he'll keep it a secret if you cry and he won't judge you at all.

Levi invites you to game with him or sing in karaoke or watch anime or read manga, whatever it is you want. Even if he thinks he's not good at whatever you choose to do with him for a change, he will try his best at it if it makes you feel better. It's also not that he's forcing himself, but he wants to try other things for the first time, and he thinks it would be more special if he first tried it with you. Levi will try his best to comfort you. He would be awkward about it at first because he's scared he'd say something that will make you feel worse, but he still tries. He will refrain from insulting himself too in the middle of it because he knows it won't do anything good,

Satan reads books on understanding human feelings and conditions. He also reads to you whatever book genre interests you, what book you choose, or the book you bought in the human world or the Devildom, wherever it's from. He takes you to bookstores, too, as well as in cafés and to feed cats in the streets. He will do hobbies that are peaceful, not stressful, hoping it relieves you at least a bit. He will also tell you that it's okay to feel emotions, that you can go to him, and he will do anything to make you feel better. Of course, like everyone else, he will not make you feel like he's pressuring you to do so.

Asmo is a really bright demon! He's a ray of sunshine honestly, bringing positivity everywhere, reminding everyone especially the people he loves to love themselves. He would invite you to do spa with him, have a massage, skin care, and basically any self-care activities. If you're not up for it, however, he hopes you would stay with him still and he praises you, complimenting you over and over again until you tell him to stop if you want him to. He tells you he's here for you and that whatever you're going through will pass. Would tell you he loves you very much and he will help you with whatever you struggle with in your self-care and well-being. ♡

Beel offers you food, but it's okay if you reject it! He takes you to his practices and hopes to entertain you. If you want, you two can try cooking together, he promises he'll try to stop himself from eating the ingredients before you even get the chance to cook. Beel is very warm, and though he's very muscular and big (unless you have a different headcanon of him), he is still so nice to hug because he makes you feel so safe and protected. He doesn't want to let you go when he knows you're not feeling well, he wants to hug all your sadness away and make you feel better again. Like Lucifer, he won't be verbal with it. He will show his love and care for you through his actions.

Belphie says he sleeps to forget about loneliness and sadness, but he knows that's not how it always works. If you ever need someone to talk to, literally about anything, he will be the one to listen. He will try not to fall asleep. He does think that your voice sounds like a lullaby that comforts him in a way, knowing you're next to him. He wants to do the same for you, to help you feel comforted and not judged for your feelings. He cuddles with you, you can be the big spoon or he will be, you decide. He tells you he's always here for you and that he will try to understand you like how you did for him.

~ ~ ~

Read more: Babi's Masterlist

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

the girl next door 28

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.

This lewk but silverfox

As you come outside, your mom sits on the deck, under the umbrella with a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. You can hardly tell if she’s awake. You hug yourself as you come into the summer light and look around. There’s a bottle of sun lotion on the railing of the deck. 

You cross the wooden planks and grab the bottle. As you pop the cap, your mom mutters. You turn as you squirt some into your hand. You look at her. 

“Do you need some?” You ask. 

“What in the lord’s name are you wearing?” She snarls. 

“Um,” you look down, once more shocked by the sight of your own body. “A swim suit. I... I’ll put a shirt on.” 

“Hey, Hol,” Steve comes out in a pair of lilac coloured trunks, “what do you think? Got the kiddo a swimsuit so she can enjoy the pool.” 

“Oh, you did?” Your mom hums as she leans her face in her hand, “how nice.” 

“Too bad you can’t join us,” Steve approaches and stops between you and your mom’s chair. “Got myself some new shorts.” 

He turns to her as you’re left watching his back. His muscle is thick and you can see it tense with his movement. He’s tall and his shoulders are broad, his arms burly too. Age has only seemed to add to his strong form. 

“Those are nice,” your mom says without much conviction, “I got a suit somewhere but... the water makes me sick. It’s these damn meds.” 

“Yeah, but they keep you going,” Steve nears her and bends to kiss her forehead. “You can be our lifeguard, how about that? Been a while since I’ve been in the deep end.” 

“You’re so...” she pauses and measures her words, “silly.” 

“It’s a nice day,” he booms, “did you try the smoothie? I put some vitamin C in it, too. Should help you feel a bit better. Oh, kiddo,” he claps and turns to face you, “did you want a smoothie? I got fresh raspberries.” 

“Erm, no thanks, I’m good,” you affirm and back away, focusing on spreading the lotion up your arms. 

“Towels are down on the chairs,” he says, “Holly Berry,” he gives your mom a strange nickname, “you sure you don’t wanna move closer?” 

“I needa stay in the shade,” she fans herself and reaches for the bright orange smoothie, “that damn inhaler. I told the doctor take me off it--” 

“Now, he’s just doing his job--” 

“I know. Don’t gotta keep saying so,” she slams the cup down and you glance over as her hand shakes violently. She’s worked up. She sits back as she tries to still herself, only for the tremor to quake through her. 

“Right, well, chill out,” Steve shrugs and backs off, “we’ll go cool off in the water.” 

He turns to face you and nears, “can I get some of that?” 

You offer him the bottle then work at smearing the lotion along your collar bone and around the top of the suit. You bring your hands to your tummy, rubbing the oiliness into your skin as Steve takes the lotion. You notice his eyes linger on you for a moment. 

“Come on, gotta check the temperature,” he waves you down the steps. 

You follow as you continue to work the lotion into your skin. You still need to get your legs and face. You continue across the lawn to the pool and Steve dollops a health heap of lotion into one hand before giving back the bottle. He slaps his hand against his chest and rubs in the sunscreen, his fingertips pressing into his muscles as he works down to his softer tummy. 

You bend to your legs. You would’ve rather a one-piece just so you wouldn’t have to use as much. As you put a light layer on your face, Steve grabs the bottle from where you left it on the lounger.  

“Here, turn around,” he squirts out the lotion into his palm. “I’ll get your back, you get mine.” 

You can’t argue. Besides, you can barely look at him. You’d rather stare at the fence. 

You turn and drop your arms. He puts his hands over your shoulders, jolting you, kneading harder than you expect. You feel his breath fan over the back of your head and he traces his thumbs around your shoulder blade, catching on the tail of the tie behind your neck. For a moment, you think he might pull it free. 

He spreads his hands, dragging them down, working in the lotion around your hips and sides, sending shivers through you. A trickle of sweat rolls down your spine and you draw away. His fingertips trail along your lower back wistfully.  

“Here,” he snatches up the lotion and hands it to you, smiling. You nod and take it. 

He turns his back to you and you gulp. Oof. You don’t know what’s worse. Being touched or touching him. It all seems so... strange even if it’s completely innocent. You’re just helping him. He does have a lot of back. 

You squeeze out the cream and rub it between your hands, hovering them before his back before you make yourself touch him. You swipe your hands up and down and side to side, working around the lotion to full cover his back. He groans and twitches as you come along the back of his ribs. 

“Careful,” he turns his head to speak over his shoulder, “old college injury. Don’t think it ever really healed.” 

“Oh,” you ease up, “sorry.” 

“Nah, you can’t hurt me, sweetie,” he insists and leans into your touch. 

You finish up and retract, trying to absorb what’s left into your palms. The greasy sensation irritates you. He turns as you reach to fix the tie behind your neck, making sure it’s tight as it feels like the suit is slipping. He blinks and his eyes flick up and down. 

“Well, are you gonna dive in?” He asks. 

“Erm, uh, I can just use the ladder,” you say as you tiptoe around him to the edge. You look down into the crystalline water, “it looks cold.” 

“Got the heater going,” he says, “shouldn’t be too bad.” 

He stands beside you and extends his leg to dip a toe into it, “not bad at all.” 

“Mm, maybe in a few minutes,” you cross your arms again, “I’m not a great swimmer.” 

“Well, I can keep an eye on you,” he reaches to tickle along your upper arm, goose dumps rising across your skin. 

“Sure, uh,” you edge away from him and run your fingers along where he touched. His hands are always on you. At least that’s how it seems to you. “Just... gotta build up my nerve.” 

“Mm,” he backs up, “sure, well, there’s the diving board and... I guess you could just sunbathe.” 

“Yeah, mayb--” 

Before you can finish, you’re scooped off your feet. You cry out as Steve lifts you up and launches himself into the pool. He keeps you in his arms as he splashes into the water and you flail wildly. You’re swallowed up as the chlorine floods your mouth and nostrils and you choke beneath the surface. 

You writhe against him, his thick arms around you, and try to free yourself. The knot at the front of your bikini catches your pinkie and you struggle to untangle both your hand and your body at once. You finally come up above the water and gasp as Steve follows, laughing as he keeps his embrace loosely around you. 

“Sometimes you just need the extra push,” he beams, “isn’t it refreshing?” 

You push the water away from your face and cough. As you do, he goes quiet and you spit up behind your hand. You can only taste the chlorinated water as you hack. You look up at him as his hands slowly creep up your sides. His blue eyes are fixated on you but not on your face. 

You look down at your chest, the knot on the front of the suit barely clinging together as you spill out from the fabric. The top merely acts to frame your nudity and you sputter as you try to cover yourself and his hands continue to ascend. You back away from his grasp and turn away. 

“Sweetie, it’s fine, all good,” he assures you. 

“Why would you do that?” You sniffle. 

“It was only some fun. I didn’t know... I’m sorry. I didn’t know the suit didn’t fit right.” 

“It’s not the suit,” you stretch the wet fabric across your tits as best you can, keeping your back to him. “I said... I told you... I wanted to wait.” 

“Ah come on, what good is having a pool if you don’t go in it?” 

“It’s your pool,” you snap, your cheek on fire as the rest of you buzzes. You wade through the water with effort. “I never asked for it.” 

“Now sweetie, don’t be like that.” 

“Please,” you pull yourself up the later, the water slaking off you and threatening to drag down the top once more, “leave me alone.” 

You cross your arms over your chest, hooking your hands over your shoulders, and rush away from the pool. You glance up at your mother as you pass the deck, hooking around to the gate instead. She doesn’t react as her head lolls over the back of the chair and her feet are splayed wide. You should get her inside but you can’t stop. You’re too humiliated. 

You race through the gate, not bothering to close it behind you. You clammer around into your mother’s yard and storm up the steps, crashing through the front door. The tears spring the moment you break the threshold as it sets in. You can’t believe that happened. You can’t believe he saw it. You just... can’t. 

[fl3shm4id3n]

Cᵣᵤₑₗ Wₒᵣₗd

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭. 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧, 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬, 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦. 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴍɪɢᴜᴇʟ ᴏ'ʜᴀʀᴀ x ᴡɪꜰᴇ! ᴠᴇɴᴏᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: Death of a child, murder, gun/gunshot wounds, depression, emotional, mentions of gore? nudity.

A/N: I based this off the AU where Bruce's parents are Batman and The Joker.

Masterlist

The whole time you had been crying, begging that your baby was okay, you were still covered in her blood. You didn't bother to clean yourself, all you cared about was your daughter. When the doctors came to tell you both the news, you has absolutely lose it. You begged and screamed that they must be another thing that they could of done but no, Gabriella had died.

During the funeral, the whole time you had been hovering over the little casket, crying and begging that she'd come back. It hurt your husband seen you in this state, he hated seen you in such pain and distress. That night you didn't sleep in yours and Miguel's bedroom, you slept in your daughter's room, wishing and hoping that this was only a bad room and that your Gabriella would be in bed with you, but the next morning, she wasn't there, she was really gone.

For the last couple weeks not everything went back to normal, that night something had died inside of you, no longer did you smile or were happy ever. You were basically in your own world, forgetting that your husband was still in the picture, you loved him, you really did, but it was hard to look at him sometimes, every time you looked at your husband, you saw your little Gabriella, she looked a lot like her father. It hurt.

You went about your day, you woke up early or sometimes you didn't sleep at all. You did chores and everything that needed to get done in the house, then you'd do and hide in your daughter's room. You didn't do nothing in the room, but just lay in bed while hugging her soccer jersey, her scent was still on her clothes, it made you cry, you must have looked pathetic, but you didn't care.

This worried Miguel, you were getting worse instead of better, he knew that people mourned differently, but this was getting out of hand. He noticed a lot of unhealthy changes in you, he needed to help you. For a while he himself had also isolated himself, but now you needed him. That night he decided to talk to you, about taking you to go talk to a therapist, but you refused, you told him that you were fine and didn't need help, this lead to an argument. You both had began screaming at each other. Miguel had warned you that if you didn't go willing to the therapist, then he'll put you in a psych ward by force, when you heard those words, you got scared and basically ran out the door, scared that he might lock you up and claim you as crazy. He didn't mean for this to happen, he only wanted to help.

Miguel had thought you went for a walk for some fresh air, but those minutes became to hours, then those long hours turned into days. He had filed a missing person report to the police. While the police did their part, so did Miguel. He did everything in his power as Spider-Man to find you, but nothing, you had basically disappeared from thin air. He did not stop, no matter how long it would take, he was going to find you.

Years passed. Miguel has not found you yet, it killed him. He didn't know if you were alright, with good people, or if you were even alive. He remembers your screams, those same screamed haunted him at night. That night of the murder haunted him. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, holding the dying body of yours and his daughter, begging for her to keep her eye open. He remembers when you both rushed to the hospital screaming for help, when the doctors and nurses came to your help, you begged them to let go with them, in case your daughter needed her mama. he hopped that you were alive and well.

That wasn't the only thing he was worried about, some vigilante by the name of Venom had appeared. She was terrorizing the city and killing criminals from the streets, leaving some disturbing stuff that he felt disgusted to even mention behind to warn other criminals. He tried so hard to figure out who it was, but it was impossible, he had no clue on who could it possibly had been. Some people may find her acts heroic, but what she was doing was wrong, he was a vigilante himself, but he had limits. Someone needed to stop her before she does worse things.

Miguel was out on patrol, looking for any kind of danger or if anyone needed some help from Spider-Man, he was about to call it a night, but he hard screaming coming from an ally. So he decided to go check it out. The screaming got louder, he must have got closer, then he heard this kind of snarl and a demonic yet feminine voice. "Scums like you shouldn't be alive! You all should die!" she hiss at the man, who was pressed up against the wall, with her tight grip on his neck.

"Let him go Venom!" Miguel yelled towards the female, then the disguised woman looked at him, making her growl and gripping harder on the man's neck. "Why should you care to what happened to this low life! Him and every other criminal deserves to die!" she hissed towards the Spider-Man, she was about to snap the guy's neck. But Miguel had launched himself towards her, causing her to drop the guy, in which he ran away as fast as possible.

Then they both began to fight, they threw punches, kicks and threw each other around the ally. This went on for hours. "Just quit Venom!" Miguel yelled towards the woman, who was ready to throw another punch at him. "No! I will never stop! Until every criminal on the street is dead! They have to pay for what they had done!" she hissed, throwing herself back at Miguel, hitting him square n the jaw. Causing Miguel to hiss and get a hold of her wrist at in attempt to get her to stop.

"You think by killing them things will get better?!" he asked, while trying to restrain her but he couldn't, she manage to get away from him. "Yes, they took the most precious thing to me" she said, stopping her movements. "In this very ally, they killed my daughter!" she hissed, he could tell that she was in pain. He also couldn't help but notice the ally was the same exact ally where the murder of his daughter happened. But when the woman said the thing about her daughter, was what made Miguel freeze in his tracks.

"My daughter was shot here, and died in the hospital... they never found the guy that did it.." she said in tears. Miguel could see the tears streaming down her white wide eyes. "My daughter was my everything, she was the light of my life, but now she is gone.. and it's because of people like those scums that I do what I do.. so that no other mother had to go through what I did.." she admitted. No, it couldn't possibly be her. "I will do everything in my power to get every criminal off the street, even if that means killing them" she said.

The woman then brushed off her tears. "I'll have to kill you too, since you tend to get in my way!" she hissed as she lounged at him. This time Miguel had a trick up his sleeve. As soon as the woman got close to him, he manage to get a hold of her shoulder, then with his free hand, he got a needle shot which contained the venom from his fangs and injected the serum in her neck. Causing her to go weak. "What did you.." she wasn't able to finish her sentence. She then slumped forward towards him, losing conciseness.

Miguel then got a hold of the unconscious woman, he noticed how the black ink like skin of her began to disappear from her body. Revealing that she was naked underneath her 'suit'. Sadly he didn't have anything to cover her body, instead he used his big arms to hide her body. Then the black ink had dissolved off her face, revealing to be his one and only wife. The woman that he had been searching for, you looked so peaceful with your eyes closed as if you were sleeping. He sighed as he held your body close to him, pulling you into a tight embrace and tears forming in his eyes, glad that he had found you.

Taglist: @sorryi-mtrash, @call-me-nev

ₙₑₓₜ ₚₐᵣₜ

[belphies-cowgirl]

Little D's headcanons

the Little D's have cubbies or bunk beds

Barbatos feeds the Little D's leftovers sometimes, mainly No. 6

at least twice a food fight has started among the Little D's (with the exception of No. 1) during an event and they all hid behind you when Barbatos came to scold them

if No. 1 and No. 4 happen to both be around you they will *try* to get along

No. 1

takes great pride when you compliment or comment on the state of the castle or the decor for events

makes sure to keep the other Little D's in order so your visit is less chaotic

makes sure you have everything you need during your stay and that you're comfortable

carries a clipboard while instructing the other Little D's on their tasks

No. 2

will follow you around when you visit if he has the chance, he'll happily chatter away and keep you company

likes to play with your keychains or jewelry (mainly bracelets or rings)

wants updates on Mammon so he has new material to tease him about

he'll come to you as soon as he finds out Mammon is doing something somewhere he shouldn't be and will stand behind you while you lecture Mammon (100% teases Mammon later about it)

No. 3

wants to talk to you when you visit but he tends to linger in the background if your attention is toward another Little D or he leaves and sulks somewhere until you seek him out

when he does get to talk to you it's usually about which current video game you're playing or show you're watching

if you let him he'll happily observe you playing a video game and offer tips on how to defeat bosses or where to find special items

he loves when you have commentary on a video game or show because he gets to join in and it makes him feel happy that you care about what he thinks or says

No. 4

doesn't say it but he likes it when you sometimes intervene during one of his tantrums or notice when he's frustrated/angry because you usually end up going on a walk with him around the castle or outside

usually does tasks in the library because he knows where the books go and how to take care of them properly

happily fetches any book you'd like to read and loves it when you listen to his suggestions for your next read or listen to his thoughts on a book you've just finished reading

likes it when you let him sit next to you or let him sit on your lap while you read to him

No. 5

checks himself out in any reflective surface which delays his tasks but he can't help that he's so cute

makes sure he looks his best before you arrive even though he knows you always compliment him or give him attention

makes sure there's fresh flowers in the guest room for you and loves it when you comment on how pretty they are or how good they smell and how sweet he is for doing so (sometimes he'll opt for a nice candle, and if you own a candle warmer he'll give you some wax melts to take back to the HoL)

does the flower arrangements for events and likes it when No. 1 gives him praise about them

No. 6

gets extra excited when you visit the castle because you bring him little treats sometimes

one time Barbatos caught you doing so and No. 6 took off running with a box of goldfish, leaving a small trail behind

brings you your apron and makes sure there is a hand towel nearby if your hands get messy and that you have everything you need for food prep

tries to finish his tasks quicker if you're coming over to bake/cook with Barbatos because you let him have some of the leftover ingredients or let him be your taste tester

No. 7

likes to nap in your lap or anywhere as long as it's in the same room as you

has taken a nap on your head before

he naps in odd places like Belphie does, you found him snoozing on top of the fridge one time and on top of a bookshelf (which really annoyed No. 4)

will make sure you're comfy at night, he knows if you like an extra pillow or blanket and how you like the temperature to be before bed

✄ ——————————————————————

feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me a message, or an ask <3

please do not use my work as your own! 

m.list

[typingdyslexiaisathing]

Random Obey Me! thought for all of you.

Imagine this. MC is having a day where they are really in pain. To the point that all the brothers just know that something is seriously wrong. So they drop everything to call Solomon and get MC to a doctor right away.

The doctor finds that MC has appendicitis (or something like that) and needs immediate surgery. So MC gets prepped for the procedure as the brothers and Solomon have a whirlwind of severe worry and helplessness. Solomon uses several spells on MC to help before they get wheeled in. With Mammon making sure MC has their matching keychain in their hand as a good luck charm.

The entire time MC is in surgery, none of the boys are able to concentrate or get anything done. Diavolo is back at the castle and just staring out the window to be waiting for any news. Barbatos is next to him to hand Diavolo a cup of calming tea as they wait. Simeon and Luke are with Raphael to be praying and chatting with Michael. While the brothers are in the waiting room. Satan is sitting with a book on taking care of someone after surgery. Asmodeus is having a hard time staying positive as he reads over Satan's shoulder. Belpheogr and Beelzebub are sitting together, Beel with his arm over Belphie's shoulder as they do their best to keep their fear in check. Mammon is outside the hospital and walking off all his pent up energy as Solomon walks with him. Leviathan is currently watching the clock on the wall with a stone faced terror in his whole body as he waits. While Lucifer stands to be leaning against the wall. His D.D.D. in his hand to have a chat with Thirteen there as the reaper keeps tabs on MC's candle and let them all know the candle is unchanged.

MC makes it out of surgery completely fine. The brothers and Solomon are all very relieved to take MC to one of Diavolo's private vacation homes. Diavolo and Barbatos arrive there in a few hours with the angels. MC gets to relax and recover as the boys just spoil MC for that day after the surgery. Two days are spent at the vacation home with tons of fresh air and leisure. Then the gang goes back to the Devildom to tuck MC back into the HOL.

[catcze]

here me out.. so like i was scrolling a pinterest and i found this one song on spotify called “cigarettes out the window x dangerously yours” and the first thing i thought about is neuvillette!! LIKE THE BRAINROTS IN MY HEAD RN. reader and him are in his office 😱

OH OH OH OH OH OKAY HOLD ON HOL D ONNNN 👀👀👀👀 The way i opened YT so fast!??! HASKJDNA but my GOD do i see what u mean anon—

I'm getting vibes of reader who is, perhaps, from the fatui? or from some other hostile organization (idk im workign on it 💔) and they get assigned to be a double agent at the Palais Mermonia and acquire sensitive information for the organization they work for. Initially, they weren't supposed to do anything complicated— they certainly weren't even supposed to ever cross paths with the chief justice of Fontaine. But what do you know, Neuvillette falls for you first and invites you out to a meal, and you can't necessarily refuse.

Your superiors are delighted by the change in plans— if you get closer to the chief justice, you could easily get your hands on all sorts of information! So, although you're hesitant, you're forced to go along with getting closer to Neuvillette. But over time, you find that he's much, much more than most people think he is. He's more caring and gentle that most realize, and he's so sweet. Gods, he is so sweet. The way he cares for every single melusine is adorable. The way he enthusiastically encourages you to try water that he imported from gods-knows-where, just because he says that it taste fresh and clear like no other. And the way his eyes shine when you take a sip and tell him that he's right, that it's sp distinct, and he smiles, and you don't have the heart to tell him that in truth, it just tastes like water to you.

Before you know it, you're actually falling for Neuvillette. Not for the mission, not for the files. You're genuinely becoming head over heels for him. You can't tell your superiors this— you know you'd be pulled out and disposed of immediately now that you're compromised, but you can't go along with deceiving Neuvillette anymore. But if you tell him... no doubt he'd turn you away, like the double-crosser you are.

But you still find yourself in front of his office anyway, a heavy hand and a heavier heart knocking on his doors.

"Come in," he says.

And it's hard. Gods, it's so hard to come clean to him. You stutter and you just can't seem to spit out the words, so Neuvillette decides to talk first. He pulls something out of a drawer and sets it on his desk, opening its contents for you to see. And you gasp, because these are the files that you had been told were the highest priority. If you ever got your hands on them, you were to risk your life to get them back to your organization.

"Why are you showing me this?" You ask him, voice quiet, brow furrowed. Your hand reaches out to touch the papers, but you hesitate. Neuvillette just watches you, smiling mysteriously.

"Because you have my wholehearted trust," is all he says, and it's enough to break you.

The tears come flowing faster than you can help them. There's a lump in your throat, making it hard to breathe. Even as you splutter out the words, the confessions to why you're here, why you got close to him, and everything else in between, Neuvillette listens patiently. He doesn't yell, doesn't glare or curse you out. He doesn't shout for guards to come and toss you into the darkest pits of Meropide. Instead, he's calm.

"I know," he says as a means of explanation, and you still. His hand reaches across the desk, holding yours gently. "Since the very first day we met, when you stood beside me drenched in rain on the balcony, I've known. And my heart is yours anyway."

You shake your head, still crying quietly. "I will betray you. If not, I will be killed."

Neuvillette's hand squeezes yours. "Do you think so little of me that I would allow any harm to befall you, my love?"

"I think the world of you," you argue, and he smiles.

"There is no safer place for you than by my side. Should there be any threat to your life, I would use every ounce of my power to dispose of it, " Neuvillette vows. "Your organization has made a great many mistakes, but the greatest of them all has been sending you to me, and expecting me to ever let harm befall you."

HAJSDSAJKL LISTEN the monologue in the clip that i found (hopefully we're talking abt the same mashup ?!?!?) was longer + had more drama but OUGH my brain craves soft sweet tender romance without too much drama and life-or-death haksdkajs

[panelshowsource]

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson, paul whitehouse (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

[prideofcelestia]

❝grocery shopping with him❞

« characters - demon brothers, solomon, diavolo»

« gender neutral reader »

« headcanons »

LUCIFER

He is very efficient. Knowing exactly where every aisle is, the shopping basket is full in the blink of an eye. You are there only to keep him company. Time with you is precious and he intends to keep you close whenever the opportunity presents itself.

He scans the prices and brands before making a decision. He gets the best coffee beans directly from the plantations and he pays them well. He is “husband goals” if you are of an economic mind. He has a lot of coupons but his pride forbids him from using those. Beel is only too happy to receive it from his eldest brother. Owing to his busy schedule, he sometimes gets the necessities delivered. The bored cashier straightens up and greets him very respectfully.

He insists on carrying the bags himself and doesn’t listen to your protests.

MAMMON

Well, he’s scared to visit some stores because he hasn’t paid them back for decades. He is very particular about the stores you two can visit. Once there, he vanishes to check out the shelves and schemes about what he can sell for a higher price.

“After all, demons would pay extra to buy it from THE Great Mammon. We can send the bill to Lucifer. Hahaha,” says Mammon with a bunch of mismatched stuff in his shopping basket.

The burden of completing the shopping falls on you.

You sigh, “Let’s get it done before Lucifer calls and asks for dinner.”

You two carry the shopping bags together.

He buys you a gift while browsing.

LEVIATHAN

He is incapable of completing this mission alone. You must accompany him as he makes a comeback in the outside world in what feels like an eternity! His eyes dart to and fro as if afraid that someone will be disgusted by his presence.

“Where can we get this item, [Name]?” he asks for literally everything on the list.

You give him a tour for the future despite him refusing to follow.

“Levi, you should know where everything is!”

He literally gags when he sees seafood and runs away as fast as he can.

“Levi, wait! You can’t go out with the basket without paying first!”

You apologise for him but keep supporting him. You carry all the bags because he looks shaken and weak.

ASMODEUS

“Oh, [Name], look at these cute shaped cookies. We should definitely get these for my Devilgram!”

Within a few minutes, he has gotten everything in the store that’s not on the list.

“Asmo,” you say breathlessly as you try to catch up to him, “We need to buy groceries for dinner! We can’t eat chocolates and cookies… is that lip gloss? Let’s grab some vegetables!”

Asmo pouts but you shield your eyes from his cuteness. “No, Asmo! It’s been an hour. We should get started now. Plus, the two of us can’t carry all that!”

That’s when he gives up. “You are right. Maybe we can come back some other time. Let’s get the food before Lucifer gets mad.”

He returns some items since it got too heavy and then you two easily carry it to HOL.

SATAN

He’s very methodical and knows where the best deals are to be found! The shopkeepers know him only too well. Oh, vegetables? He knows a place where you can get fresh ones. Ah toiletries? Why, allow him to show you where good quality yet cheap toilet paper can be found. Name it!

Owing to his influence, he never returns from a shopping trip without getting everything that’s on his list - even if it’s sold out everywhere.

“I must get fresh ingredients to prove that my food is better than Lucifer’s,” he grins as he starts dinner preparations. “Oh, and try this coffee. The beans are a delicacy. I stayed awake for 2 days after drinking half a cup. I completed an entire series by a writer I like.”

“Sounds dangerous for the health, Satan.”

BEELZEBUB

You accompany him to make sure that he doesn’t eat the grocery store while he’s at it. He listens to you and tries to control himself but his hands still stretch to grab some food items that nobody should eat raw. So you have to devote half of your attention picking items for dinner and the other half to make sure that Beel doesn’t cause a lot of trouble.

“I’ll make you something you will enjoy for dinner so just wait for a bit longer, bub,” you promise and he behaves.

The rest of the trip is spent imagining all the delicacies that he will request you to make.

He carries all the bags back.

BELPHEGOR

He’s too lazy to care.

“Why didn't you ask one of my brothers to do the shopping in your place?” Belphie groans, looking drowsy. The supermarket was not his idea of an ideal date. “You know that they would have been only too happy to do it if you had asked. Then we could have taken a nap together instead.”

You put some onions in the basket and turn towards him wearily. “But it was my turn today. I can't always drop the burden on someone else. Besides,” your tone softens, almost apologetic, “Why don't I make something you like tonight? Something light on the stomach that will help you get good dreams?”

He narrows his eyes but looks pleased, “It seems that I am no different than my brothers. I can't say no to you. You make me melt. What can I say? You know me too well… ”

You carry the bags while he carries a pillow.

DIAVOLO

He tags along to spend time with you. The idea of chatting with you while doing the most mundane daily activities appeals to him. It’s sweet and endearing and he likes to stop talking and instead observe you deciding between two brands. These are Barbatos’ duties so he never gets the chance to enjoy these. He seems to be familiar with tea and coffee and can guide you about the best ones, even though he rarely drinks store-bought beverages.

He bombards you with questions about what you usually buy and make for dinner and promises to join you again if he's free.

He won’t let you carry the bags. Let him help you. Whoever sees the demon prince with grocery bags in his hands feels startled. Even royal demons are involved in housework! Mothers will be telling this story to the little ones for centuries to come.

SOLOMON

Solomon takes his time since you are there with him. A man needs to relax after researching all day.

“Ah look at this leafy cabbage. This was grown at the Hellfire Plantation. They use a special kind of manure. It’s very tasty,” he says and buys two.

The extent of his knowledge is bizarre. When he catches you looking mystified, he laughs. “Haha you look so suspicious of me. I am sorry. For some time in the last century, I took special interest in learning about the agricultural and rearing practices in the Devildom.”

“Wow Solomon,” you say impressed. “There seems to be nothing you don’t know!”

“Haha, that’s kind of you but there’s still a lot to learn about the world.”

“Thank you for coming shopping with me. Why don’t we return to Purgatory Hall? I will treat you to my cooking?” he offers with a satisfied smile.

Your instinct tells you to run but you ignore it and smile shakily instead. “Eh… ah… I actually promised Levi that I will play games with him tonight. Sorry! Maybe next time?”

That's when your legs start moving in the opposite direction, deserting him with all the bags.

[shuuenka]

Of first meetings - Zhou Tang Sui

ALT. under cut.

Stinks, he thought as he entered the kitchen. Echo of older boys leers still fresh in his mind. Kitchen cleaning duty wasn't the worst punishment he could’ve gotten for not keeping up with the swordplay instructors and then getting into a verbal fight, but it wasn’t something he wanted to do after a long day.

He got stuck in Minli army camp, while they waited for 9th prince to get recalled back to Chang'an capital. Then maybe he could finally attend hispromised school.

He took another sniff, taking a look around the small room filled with ba-rely visible smoke. This is not the smell of the dinner they had earlier - it was instead pungent and herbal. And very intense - so much that he felt the need to sneeze.

‘’What’s this smell?” Wu Chun Tian asked loud, finally locating the boiling pot in the back of the kitchen.

‘’Mixture of honeysuckle flowers, sesame oil, red stoneroot, silver grass and lard,” he heard and turned to the source of the voice. Behind him stood a young boy, somewhat in similar height and age as he was. He was hol-ding a basin with water. ‘’Are you new kitchen help?”

“What it’s for?”

The white haired boy frowned, and raised his brew at him.

“This mixture. What's this for?’’ Wu Chun Tian asked, taking a peak insidethe pot. The water was boiling, but inside instead of plates as he expected now he found stripes of clothing. Interesting.

‘’Are you genuinely curious?” the boy shot him with an inquisitive, albeit somewhat suspicious look.

‘’I wouldn't be asking if I wasn’t,’’ he shrugged. Then he remembered the cook told him to get on with duties quickly if he wanted to finish before midnight, so while waiting for his companion to answer, he moved to- wards the pile of dishes. He sighed gravely, but decided to get this over with as soon as possible. He shot a look at a boy still standing awkwardly with a water basin in the middle of a room.

‘’Oh, um,’ the boy started. ‘’This concoction is often used by physicians to treat wounds. Uh, something similar, anyways. So I was wondering if I boi bandages in it, then maybe it would also be helpful in the long run.

Bandages are already boiled in some blends but I thought this one would be effective.’’

Wu Chun Tian regarded the scrawny teen beside him, as he was telling him about various properties of the the ingredients in the boiling water. Themore he explained while focusing on washing the dishes, his shoulders relaxed. He shot him a few looks, as if checking if Wu Chun Tian was still listening. And he very much did. The boy theorized that washing bandages not only in clean water but medicine could make them cleaner and more efficient, which from Wu Chun Tian’s point of view made sense.

‘’I hoped to give them to the medic when they’re dry,’’ he finished with a smile, and then - as if remembering he wasn’t supposed to talk this much, closed his mouth.

‘’You should do that,’’ Wu Chun Tian nodded. He rinsed a big spoon and then used it to point at the boy, ‘’And tell him all of this.’’

’Uh, I’m not sure he will listen to me,’’ the boy said, scratching the back of his head. ‘’Anyways, we should focus on the dishes. I need to clean up my boiling pot before the cook catches me messing with his pots again.”

“I didn’t think kitchen help would be versed in medicine,’’ Wu Chun Tian mused. ‘’Shouldn’t you be in the army medic’s place?”

When he turned to the boy, he was met with a small frown on his face.

‘’I’m not a kitchen help,’’ he grumbled with his lips in a thin line. ‘’It’s my punishment for this week.”

Wu Chun Tian snorted - so they were on the same boat. He wondered what the boy did to be sent to kitchens to wash dirty dishes.

‘’Now, you’re like me,’’ Wu Chun Tain said aloud with a smile playing on his lips. His enthusiasm wasn’t met with a positive response, as the boy only further frowned. ‘’By the way, what’s your name? I’m Wu Chun Tian.”

The boy turned back to the bucket with dirty dishes, and mumbled under his nose.

‘’Huh? I didn’t hear.”

‘’Zhou Tang Sui.”

“That’s better. Nice to meet you, Zhou Tang Sui. ” he said. ‘’I’d do a greeting bow, but taking into account I’m elbows deep in dirty water, I’d rather not.”

He felt the name was vaguely familiar though.

‘’He looked over the dishes still piled up. Cleaning up after the whole squad dinner felt like a never ending task, and even with them both here, he doubted they’d be able to finish before midnight. He belatedly noticed both that the smell of herbs didn’t bother him as much as before and that Zhou Tang Sui was sending him looks.

‘’Yes?”

‘’You’re not going to say anything?”

He felt funny - just now he was washing smelly dishes because, according to his instructor, he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

‘’About what?”

The boy pursed his lips and shook his head.

Eccentric, he thought, when Zhou Tang Sui focused back on the work.

Without much else going on, he could only follow suit.

‘’So, what did you do?” Zhou Tang Sui suddenly asked after moment of silence. ‘’I think-, hm, I heard your name before. Or at least maybe a nickname? Xiao Hu?”

‘’All Liu Yan Bang’s fault,’’ he muttered, with a click of his tongue.

‘And you, little tiger with big claws - stop fighting your instructor.’ Liu Yan Bang said back then, and it quickly caught on. He hoped this stupid nickname would not stick for long.

"’Huh?”

“Nothing,’’ he said. ‘’I told the swordplay instructor that his methods are too much when taking into account different physiques of his trainees and I was told to run the whole court.”

Zhou Tang Sui was about to open his mouth to question him further, but noise of opening doors followed by a cough startled the two boys.

‘’What is this ungodly smell!"

‘’Minister Liu told us to boil these, so we did,” Wu Chun Tian replied with- out missing a beat as the cook’s wide frame entered their view.

‘’Eh.. Minister Liu?” he said, scratching his nose. ‘’This lad always has ideas, eh. Capital folks, am I right boys?”

The two nodded.

As soon as the cook, with a heavy sigh moved to the other room mutter- ing about taking it with the upstairs, Zhou Tang Sui turned to his new companion.

‘’Why did you say that?” he asked. He was sure that if the cook heard that he was conducting another weird experiment in his kitchen, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. Yet, just mentioning Minister Liu’s name with such confidence was enough to make the cook but a grumble.

‘’Don’t worry about it.”

Zhou Tang Sui looked over at Wu Chun Tian, who was back to washing plates, as if nothing happened.

What an incomprehensible individual, he thought.

[lale-txt]

❈ 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞 𝐰/ 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢 & 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

@nakunakunomi asked: Oh Lale, I am humbly and nervously shuffling into your askbox. Your writings are a true delight and never fail to make me smile, and with your multifandom box opening I just had to dig into my brainstorms and pick something out. Can I ask for something (any format that works best for you) with Itachi and a super clumsy /and chaotic reader? Reader can be fem or genderneutral. They try and organize / prep dates and surprises, but end up hurting themselves (never too bad), spoiling their own surprises, accidentally setting something on fire... just shenanigans all over the place, but all with the best intentions. Thank you so much already for your consideration! If you have any additional questions, or you need to bonk me over the head cause i forgot something, you know where to find me. I hope you have a lovely time writing!

a/n: Hazel! i'm gonna melt into a puddle from your sweet words, thank you so much! you don't understand how excited i was when i read your request, it was right up my alley, hehe. writing this made me fall a bit for Itachi (Uchiha harem when), and i hope i did your request justice! i always get a little nervous when writing a char i've never written before.

word count: 831

“Does it hurt?”

Itachi holds your hands in his, his kind eyes studying the cuts and blisters on your fingers before he carefully wraps them in band-aids and gauze. Thanks to the soothing balm he applied (and his gentle touch), you aren’t really in pain anymore, but the guilt of almost burning down the kitchen still weighs heavy on your chest. Once you’re all patched up, Itachi helps you down from the kitchen counter you were sitting on and wraps his arms around you, his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck. Both of you let out a long sigh.

“I’m sorry for worrying you”, you mumble and close your eyes for a moment, inhaling his familiar scent while he embraces you. Your fingers run lightly over his back, as if to reassure him that everything’s alright. Itachi laughs quietly and shakes his head. 

“Maybe no kitchen experiments that involve open fire before you had coffee in the morning, hm?”, he teases and places a small kiss on your forehead. Itachi knows you were planning a sweet surprise for him before he had to leave the house; and he’s not mad, he just can’t help but worry because of your clumsiness. He saw you trip over your own feet more often than when he taught his baby brother how to walk, and your talent to set things on fire made him wonder if you had some Uchiha blood running through your veins, because surely this wasn’t just some Katon no Jutsu?

“I wanted to prepare you a bento for today’s mission so you’ll think of me”, you pout slightly and hide your face against his chest. This way you also don’t have to face the pile of dirty dishes in the sink and the half-burnt bento box that you left too close to the stove while you went out in the garden to grab some fresh herbs. Luckily Itachi, light sleeper that he is, had woken up prior from the sound of plates clattering downstairs (and your hushed curses when you cut yourself again) and was quick to put out the small fire when it got suspiciously quiet again in the kitchen.

“Oh, darling”, Itachi sighs. “Look at me.”

With a finger under your chin he slowly lifts your head up, making you look him in the eyes. His gaze was warm and gentle, and you could see all the love Itachi held for you in his heart. It’s as if your name was written all over his heart walls, leaving no room for doubt that you were the only one for him. If only he could carry you with him in the safety of his heart, then maybe you wouldn’t end up clumsily hurting yourself over and over again–his heart was already ablaze for you, anyway.

“I’m never not thinking about you”, he mumbles before pressing a small kiss on your lips, leaving you yearning for more. His voice is low and husky and one hand is still holding your chin up, while his other pulls you closer against him by your hip; no room left between you. “Whether it’s about that sweet smile of yours”–another kiss–”or all the ways you call out my name”–one more kiss, this time deeper–”or when I get to kiss you again because I’m missing your lips on mine always.”

Itachi kisses down from your jaw to the side of your neck, making you melt under his touch and affection. He’s so tender with you; as if you’re the most delicate thing in the world. Sure, you might have tendencies to cause havoc with every step you take, but still–you’re the safest place for his whole heart. It’s you, always you. And if he’s gonna wrap you up in gauze and band-aids for the rest of his life, Itachi will happily do so, because it means you’re by his side and he can hold out a gentle hand to catch you, knowing you’ll always take it.

“Kiss me again, will you?”

And with kisses this sweet, no pain will linger for too long…

[cosmicstarlatte]

Customer Service (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

They try contacting customer service. 🤷‍♂️

»Characters: Demon Bros

»Tags: Certified Shitpost™���, Pathetic Lucifer is my favorite Lucifer

»Notes: It's been a while since I've done a shitpost bulleted fic so ♡reblogs♡ are appreciated. I've had this wip since March apparently? 💀

Lucifer:

A hand on his hip and the phone in the other

This man means business

"Don't talk to me, I'm trying to keep my level of anger"

Held onto his anger for two hours waiting for the next agent

The annoying hold music only fueled him

Tried to be reasonable with the agent when he got patched through

But they were new

"Look, just get me your manager."

Waited another half hour for them

The problem got fixed rather quickly actually

smirked in satisfaction...Lucifer always wins.

If only he noticed the two stuck pages in the manual, he would've not wasted his morning

Mammon:

If he wasn't broke he would've paid someone else to make the call

Waited for an hour but it felt like eternity

"Yeah ain't there a satisfaction guarantee on this anyway!? The customers always right!"

Tried to get a replacement for his earbuds

And a refund while he was at it

Scammy? What?? Nooo....

"They fell in the wash! It's not my fault! Did I get insurance? Who has the money for that?"

Him and the agent went back and forth for a while

The agent finally caved and promised to replace the earbuds

"Finally! Ya better send 'em quick! -click-"

...

He realized he never gave the agent his address & had to start the process all over again

Levi:

Lol

Tried online chat but his specific issue needed a real agent because...of course it would

Tried to pay one of his brothers to make the call for him

They rather stab themselves or wage war against Diavolo than call customer service

Took anxiety medication before trying to call

Waited three hours on hold but played something soothing in the meantime

helloooo ruri and friends crossing

He stopped when he heard the hold music stop

"Hello thank you for calling Akuz-"

click

"It's not that important."

Satan:

This is how a pro does it.jpg

Drank his little coffee and ate his fresh little pastry

See, he set an alarm to call customer service right when they open their lines

Had the number typed and ready to go with a press

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

Finally!

-dialing tone-

"Hello. Your wait time is 2 hours and-"

...

...

...

Slammed his phone on the floor and it broke

Went to go fight the company in person

His issue got fixed

The company had to tighten their security after this incident

Asmo:

Is that one lucky demon that happens to get patched through quickly

He was having problems with his devilgram account verification

Just as he started speaking about his issue the agent freaked out

Turns out they were a huge fan and could automatically tell it was the REAL™️ Asmo speaking

The issue got fixed and Asmo stayed talking with the agent because they sounded really cute

One thing led to another and...it went from a customer service hotline to a phone sex one real quick

This always happens when he calls customer service akskjfksls

Beel:

Collected all the snacks he had

Even cooked an entire feast

He needed everything he could get before making the dreaded call

After an hour of waiting (and barely any snacks left) he finally got to an agent!

It was a pleasant experience for both sides

Beel is getting sent replacements for his shoes plus a discount voucher for his next purchase

güd boi™️ as usual

Belphie:

Almost fell asleep while waiting

The music soothed him, they had classical music playing

He's not really sure how long he waited if he's being honest

When he finally got to the agent he sounded so weak the agent was concerned

"Mm? No I'm always like ...losing... consciousness ...it's normal...zzz..."

The agent was still so concerned they sent someone to the HOL to check on him

Beel ended up making the call for him

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