#History shitposting

[troythecatfish]

I wonder what the party that took over the island started as lol

[werewolfetone]

They should never have taken duels out of politics. politicians yearn to be allowed to shoot at each other these days you can tell

[enlitment]

Brutus seeing the graffiti of him stabbing Caesar all over Rome, c. 44 BC

[artofhitjim]

🔪🔪🔪

Happy Ides of March!

Send a “Senatine” to a Co-Conspirator you love today!

(I’m not super active on tumblr, please follow me on Instagram or twitter)

[baudouinette]

Time Travel Issues: Curing Leprosy in the Middle Ages

I’m sorry I can’t be Claire from Outlander 😔

My first little comic lol (based on a meme but instead of leprosy it was about electricity) the idea was better in my head but I tried to depict it as best as I could

[friedrich-2]

The Jena-Auerstedt loss and Alexander I reaction

[auguste-marmonts-only-fan]

Happy birthday to the Bonester himself 🎉

[sunsolii]

Aight I have a fun question for yall

Out of everyone from the Napoleonic Era who do y'all think could survive being in a horror movie? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts :)

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

To be fair everything was shit with Napoleon

[cadmusfly]

Tag Yourself: Unabridged Shitty Drawing Marshal of the Empire Edition

Yes All 26 Of Them + Bonus 2

drawn and compiled by yours truly, initial and probably inaccurate research assisted by Chet Jean-Paul Tee, additional research from Napoleon and his Marshals by A G MacDonnell, Swords Around A Throne by John R Elting and a bunch of other books and Wikipedia pages

captions under images

mike (Michel Ney)

- full of every emotion

- always has ur back

joe (Joachim Murat)

- it's called fashion sweetheart

- will not stop flirting

lens (Jean Lannes)

- bestie who will call u out on ur shit

- does not like their photo taken

bessie (Jean-Baptiste Bessieres)

- actually nice under the ice

- was born in the wrong generation

dave (Louis-Nicolas Davout)

- overachiever

- 20 year old boomer

salt (Jean-de-Dieu Soult)

- people think ur up to no good

- doesn’t cope with sudden changes 2 plans

andrew (Andre Massena)

- actually up to no good

- sleepy until special interest is activated

bertie (Louis-Alexandre Berthier)

- carries the group project

- voted most likely to make a stalker shrine

auggie (Pierre Augereau)

- shady past full of batshit stories

- will not stop swearing in the christian minecraft server

lefrank (François Joseph Lefebvre)

- dad friend

- in my day we walked to school uphill both ways

big mac (Étienne Macdonald)

- brutally honest

- won't let you borrow their charger even if they have 100%

gill (Guillaume Brune)

- love-hate relationship with group chats

- pretends not to care, checks social media every 2 minutes

ouchie (Nicholas Oudinot)

- needs to buy bandages in bulk

- a little aggro

pony (Józef Antoni Poniatowski)

- can't swim

- tries 2 hard to fit in, everyone secretly loves them anyway

grumpy (Emmanuel de Grouchy)

- can't find them when u need them

- complains about the music, never suggests alternatives

bernie (Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte)

- always talks about their other friendship group

- most successful, nobody knows how

monty (Auguste de Marmont)

- does not save u a seat

- causes drama and then lurks in the background

monch (Bon-Adrien Jeannot de Moncey)

- last to leave the party

- dependable

morty (Édouard Mortier)

- everyone looks up 2 them literally and figuratively

- golden retriever friend

jordan (Jean-Baptiste Jourdan)

- volunteers other people for things

- has 20+ alarms but still oversleeps

kelly (François Christophe de Kellermann)

- old as balls but still got it

- waiting in the wings

gov (Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr)

- infuriatingly modest about their art skills

- thinks too much before they speak

perry (Catherine-Dominique de Pérignon)

- low-key rich, only buys things on sale

- “let’s order pizza” solution to everything

sachet (Louis-Gabriel Suchet)

- dependable friend who always brings snacks

- lowkey keeps the group together

cereal (Jean-Mathieu-Philibert Sérurier)

- unnervingly methodical and precise about fun

- will delete your social media after u die

vic (Claude Victor-Perrin)

- loves spicy food but can’t handle it

- says they're fine, not actually fine

Bonus!

june (Jean Andoche Junot)

- chaotic disaster bisexual

- will kill a man 4 their bestie

the rock (Géraud Duroc)

- keeps a tidy house

- mom friend with snacks

[crazy-fangirl2524]

We need someone to write Alexander and Hephaestion the way Madeline Miller wrote tsoa

[troythecatfish]

[werewolfetone]

Guy who only knows thomas paine from his stay-making career in 1792: hey honey they're having to try the guy who made your bra for sedition and treason in absentia after he fled the country to avoid arrest

[enlitment]

The first rule of studying history is to always try to look for primary sources to check your information, and remember that even those have to be examined critically

The second rule of studying history is that a person can be both one of the worst people to ever walk the earth and a babygirl

Hope this helps!

[mywingsareonwheels]

How to tell if you are in Henry VIII's court:-

There is...

Henry VIII (back away slowly)

his wife, who deserves better (statistically it'll be Katherine of Aragon, but whichever one it is, she deserves better)

one or more hyper-competent arseholes called Thomas (who also frankly deserve better than what happens to them, but they are still arseholes, and they are all called Thomas)

depending on the year, there may also be the Duke of Norfolk in the middle of totally selling out one of his nieces

and finally Spanish ambassador Eustace Chapuys, being extremely snarky in all of his letters

On the upside, depending on the year there may be some absolutely banging music, but is it worth it? No.