#He's asleep and I don't want to go out in London alone

[fancyratvanity]

Genuinely I don't know what to do with my time now

[georgeclarkesgf]

shush, it's a secret | george clarke

it's not unusual for you to be over at george's flat considering you and him met at university and both moved to london around the same time. but about four months ago, your relationship changed from close friends to just that, a relationship.

you'd both decided to not tell anyone, despite how difficult it was proving to be to not be all over each other 24/7. the fans knew of you, to an extent. you'd appear in the backgrounds of videos or tiktoks posted by the boys. your social media was public, however, none of your accounts included your name, making it less likely for fans to find you.

tonight, you're over at the flat again, legs strewn over george's lap and eating some of the dominoes he'd ordered. a movie chris had picked out plays on the tv, but was now long forgotten about since a debate has broken out amongst the boys. over what? you don't know. you're too focused on the way george's hand is subconsciously trailing up your thigh, dangerously high for a 'close friend'. he honestly hasn't noticed that he's doing it, too engaged in the ongoing debate. so, you pick your phone up from your chest and message him.

too high x

his phone dings and he leans forward, grabbing it off the table before noticing it was from you. you watch as his brows furrow in confusion, before sending him another message.

your hand x

realisation hits george and he squeezes your thigh gently as an apology, moving his hand back down to rest above your knees. he mouths 'sorry' at you, to which you can't help but giggle and shake your head. arthur (hill) looks between you two in slight confusion, going to say something but deciding to keep his mouth shut.

it wasn't that you didn't want to tell people, you'd both just agreed it would be easier figuring things out and adjusting to this shift in dynamic without other people prying their noses in. it didn't make the thrill of getting caught any less exciting though. even the simple things such as him wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder made you get an adrenaline rush.

you can feel your eyes growing heavy, despite it still being relatively early, and decide to call it a night.

"sorry guys but i'm gonna head to bed," an echo of boos fill the room while you shrug, laughing, "i'm tired guys leave me alone. mind if i crash in your bed george?"

it feels weird having to ask your boyfriend if you can sleep in his bed, but it seems to be doing the trick of keeping the relationship a secret. there are only three bedrooms and you've known george the longest, so it makes sense you'd stay in his room.

"no go for it, i probably won't be long." you give him a smile and climb off the sofa, heading to his room.

george's eyes widen when he next checks the time, not realising it was so late.

"shit." he mumbles to himself, gaining a weird look from the boys.

"you alright george?" arthur (hill) questions.

"yea i'm fine. just didn't realise it was so late that's all, got stuff to do tomorrow. i'm gonna go to bed though, night guys." he was lying right through his teeth, he had nothing to do tomorrow.

what george had meant to be ten minutes or so had turned into an hour and a half. arthur (tv) ended up coming over and they'd gotten so caught up in conversation that time seemed to fly by. he knows that you hate falling asleep without him and feels guilt seep into his skin. especially since he knows you won't ask for him to come to bed, not wanting it to come off weird since to the others, you're 'just friends'.

you're staring at the ceiling when he shuts his bedroom door, having fallen asleep for all of twenty minutes before you woke up to an empty bed over an hour ago.

"i'm so sorry baby, i didn't realise it had been that long," you turn to look at him, enjoying the way he starts stroking your cheek with his thumb, "have you been waiting for me?"

"mhm, fell asleep for about twenty minutes and been awake since. it's okay though, kept myself busy," george's jaw drops slightly, clearly misunderstanding your words, "oh my god george, no! i meant by reading some more of my book you perv. get your mind out the gutter."

he laughs and goes in to kiss you but you push his forehead away before he can. you scrunch up your face in disgust.

"ow, what was that for?" he's rubbing his forehead like you just hit him with a bat, making it much more dramatic than necessary.

"brush your teeth, you have pizza breath." he tries to do it again and catch you off guard but fails, "i mean it george."

"yes ma'am."

he disappears into the bathroom and returns a few minutes later. his teeth are brushed and he's wearing a pair of grey joggers. your arms open wide, inviting him to lay on top of you so you can run your nails through his hair and up and down his back. a feeling both of you love.

"can i kiss you now?" he teases, grin widening when you nod your head.

several kisses are planted on your face and you know he's purposefully missing your lips. you frown, wanting him to kiss you properly, not having felt his lips on yours in what felt like years. realistically, it's been a few hours.

"george, kiss me properly." you whine.

and he does just that. one hand holding himself up to hover over you, the other stroking your cheek and bringing you in closer until your lips finally meet. the kiss starts off slow and loving, until he presses you further into the mattress, his hands beginning to roam your body. every ounce of sleep you were feeling disappears, suddenly becoming hyper aware of what's happening.

pulling away, you mumble, "we can't, everyone's here. they'll hear us."

"never stopped us before." george whispers against your mouth, connecting your lips once again.

well touché.

a/n don't ask where the inspiration for this came from at 2 in the morning cause i don't have an answer. not proofread either sorryyy. shall i make a part two? i feel like i'll end up doing it anyway but what do you guys think??

[mccardswife]

You are enough

heyy! this is my first one shot so it is not the best but feel free to give any tips!

arsenal wfc x teen!reader

warnings: mentions of violence, bruise, angst, sh, a few cuss words, suicidal thoughts, protective awfc and fluff in the end. Please remind me if I have forgotten some! (don't read if you get triggered)

(not proofread so if any mistakes give me a heads up)

word count: 2144

enjoy!

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Being a 16 year old professional football player is not the easiest thing in the world. Yes, you do what you love everyday but it has its up and downs. I signed for arsenal 3 months ago but I had no idea it would be that difficult. I don't feel like I belong here, all the girls on the team are truly amazing don't get me wrong, but it is so hard living up to the standards. Especially when I am me, just me and only me. I don't feel enough

After my alarm went signaling me to get ready for another day of training, the thought of going to training today dreaded me, and it has for weeks. Silence, I lay in my bed in silence just thinking of all the bad things that can happen today. If you are wondering where my parents are, the truth is. I live alone, yes, alone as a 16 year old in England. My parents has never supported me playing footy, not even when I was little. They wanted me to have a career that was meant for "girls" and not "boys", but that sounded bizarre. Football is for everyone, but they don't seem get that into their head. My parents kicked me out when they found out I signed for Arsenal, we lived in London, but since I got kicked out I had to get an apartment for myself. It was pretty hard but my best friend helped me and I am so grateful thankful for her. I have not told the team about me living alone for 6 months, they would go all protective and wanting to know why but I can't tell them, not yet. I don't want to be judged. Saying to the girls that I got kicked out of home, even thinking about it makes me feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

I lay in bed, in pain. Physically and emotionally. Last night, after I was out grocery shopping I took the metro home as always, when a man probably doubled my age walked over to me. I then realized that it was my father, he dragged me into a corner and asked me if I still was into all that "football shit". I got furious and started whisper shout at him, turned out that was not the best idea. He started going about me being a disgrace to the family, not only the family but the world, that no one is ever going to love me for playing football, and then he punched me right in my cheek. I felt thrilling pain in my face, but he grabbed my wrists hard and said in my face "You useless bitch, no one cares about you and never will".

That sentence goes through my mind over and over again. I was almost impossible to fall asleep last night, because of the pain I was in both physically and emotionally. What my father told me, got to my head and I was thinking. Maybe he was right, I am a disgrace, no one will ever love me, maybe if it would be better if I just disappeared.

Well, well. Got to get up for training and stop thinking. Seriously y/n, get your shit together...

I walked downstairs to the bathroom and got dressed and tried to cover the bruise on my cheek that now has gotten all blue, yellow and purple. It was really painful and very difficult but totally worth it when I was done and I literally could not see a damn thing. Then I did the same to the bruises on my wrists and after I tried to cover up the dark bags under my eyes but that was a bit more of a job.

Suddenly I got the urge, the painful urge. I took the hidden blade from the mirror cabinet and drawed lines on my right arm. One, two, three, four.

Then I looked at the clock. Shit, I thought. The training starts in two hours and we have breakfast together in the dining room an hour before. The metro usually took 30 minutes, I packed my bag in a hurry and left.

When I walked in to the facility I heard two voices yelling my name behind me. Lotte and Alessia walked quickly over to me. "You excited for training?" Alessia asked you. "Yes totally" I said in a lie, I think they saw that I lied because it did not look like they believed me at all. "What about you Less and Lotte?" you said to try getting the attention away from you. It seemed that it worked because they said in sync "Yes". Less and Lotte looked at each other and we giggled.

When we walked in to the dining room, everyone was there. I tried to brush off all the looks I got. Why does everyone look so suspicious today...

"Come here Y/n, sit with us", Leah said after I served myself food. Leah sat with Katie, Kim, Lia, Caitlin, Steph, Beth, Viv and Kyra. I walked nervously over to them and sat down in the seat beside Beth. They started talking and I just sat there quietly eating my food being in my thoughts until Viv said "Y/n, you've been quiet, are you good". They looked at me concerned, "Me? Yes of course Im good, just sat thinking about the upcoming training today". I lied straight through my teeth. "Okay, if you're sure. but you can talk to us though", Caitlin said. I just said a quietly thank you, and then we walked to the locker room and got ready for training.

We started doing some light jog then got into some training drills. I was already sweating, it was surprisingly very sunny outside today and I wore a long sleeve training jersey because of my scars. "Aren't you hot in that", said Jen to me. I just simply shrugged her off saying no.

I was so exhausted, my body is so tired and I really want to lay down. When we had water break I just laid down on the grass. Sweating, I rubbed my face because I was so tired.

Beth and Viv walked over worriedly, they have become my unofficial parents after my transfer to Arsenal. They looked shocked when they saw me. "What" I said in a panicked voice. "Why do you have a big black bruise on your cheek?" Beth said, "And on your wrists?" Viv said. "Is something going on at home?" Viv asked with a knowing look. "No, no of course not, why would you assume that".

After training everyone looked worried and concerned, my passes and shots got sloppier and sloppier, I was hurting more and more. When I was about to leave, Kim, Katie, Leah and Jen cornered me. With Beth and Viv looking guilty behind. They brought me into a private room and they started telling me what Beth and Viv told me. Then all of a sudden Kim said "You know, all the team has been worried and concerned for a while, I can't remember how many times the girls have repeatedly come and talked to me". I looked at her ashamed. "Why do you have bruised?" Katie asked, "I just fell" I said, the lie obvious.

I started scratching because my scars got really itchy, I really wanted to just disappear right there and then. Then Leah grabbed my right wrist softly and pulled up my sleeve, the last thing before I broke down was gasps from the girls. I started trying to make up excuses but none of them were having it, "come with us" said Beth, "We will bring you to the medical room and then we want you to tell us everything". I desperately did not want to but I knew it was no chance of me getting out of this.

When we got to the medical room they put me on one of the beds. My scars were infected, that is why they itched so damn much. Jen was cleaning up my bruises while Kim cleaned up my scars. I know the people who worked here could do it but I did not want them right now, it is bad enough that now the whole team knows.

Leah then said in her stern but soft captain voice "Now tell us everything". I tried to tell her that it was nothing. What Katie said broke me "Please babe, we only want to help you. We know it has been hard for you but please". Then I broke down again, full on shaking and crying. Desperately gasping for air.

I started telling them everything, how my parents are and that they has never supported me once for the choices I have made, that I don't feel like I belong here because I am only me... When I spit out the truth about me living alone for 3 months because my parents kicked me out and that they were abusing me for years before, I saw tears in all of the girls faces. It was a heartbreaking sight. I told them how I ran into my father last night and what he did and said to me and I started sobbing again and saying silently to myself "It is true, what he said. I am a reckless disgrace full kid".

"You are enough y/nn, I promise you babe" Viv said. All of the others agree but I could not help believing my fathers words. "Actually me and Beth have been thinking for a while, we have a spare room and big enough place for 3, and you are like our kid. I am being for real, we love you as our own family. All the team does, but we wondered if you wanted to come live with us?" Viv asked me. I was hesitant and I think Beth saw that because she said "We are not taking no for an answer". I felt a smile creep up on my face and as desperate I was trying to hide it all the others saw and started smiling too. I said to Meadema, "thank you moms". I realized what I said "shit fuck, sorry I did not mean to".

"Y/nn it is okay, you have no idea how glad that made us, you are like our kid" Beth and Viv said.

After a while of me telling them about my thoughts, how I have been feeling for the last weeks, they decided to get me into therapy. We have a therapist at the facility so we agreed to be going to her twice a week. "I am grateful for all of you, I really am but I just feel like a bother" I said quietly.

"No babe stop" Jen said, Katie walked over to me, she took her hands on my head and said "You are enough, a hundred times enough". "You are like a younger sister to me, it breaks me to see you like this, not only me but all of us. We and all the team loves you. You are the baby of the team."

"We will always protect you, and we will get your so called parents locked up." Kim said to me. "Not Viv and Beth but the other parents" Jen said in a playful tone.

"That I understand" I said with a smile of my face.

Leah asked me if she could tell the other girls and the Gaffer, she needed to anyway but it was nice she asked me. I said yes then she walked outside.

A few minutes later they all came in. Kyra, being kind of like my annoying twin ran over to me and hanged on for me for dear life in a bear hug. I started explaining to them a bit more, and reassured them that it was not their fault but my manipulative parents.

I also said that I called Viv and Beth mum and that I am moving in with them and Lessi and Laura said at the same time "about damn time". All the team broke out in laughter.

"I am sorry for not telling you but I feel a thousand times better now after telling you, I have been scared and not felt at home here for a while but telling you and knowing that I can count on you girls will help me. The whole team is kind of like my family I never got and I can't ask for more than that. I am so grateful for all of you, and I love you"

"We love you too y/nn", Leah said with the softest most heartwarming smile ever. "You are our family, blood or not you will always be family" Kim said reassuring.

"Always," Katie said

"And you are enough" the team said lovingly.

[whorekneecentral]

A New Tradition

George Russell x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cheesy christmas traditions, first christmas as a married couple, matching pjs, handsy george, penetrative sex (p in v), oral (m!receiving), cream pie.

Word Count: 1,148

Author's Note: this is a short one and it's late lol, my apologize to the george girlies

merry smutmas series

--

You and George spend your first Christmas together and you mash together the traditions from both of your families. 

Your first Christmas as a married couple was a special one.

When the two of you were dating, you bounced from place to place. Your family or his depending on the year and the holiday. Now that you were married, George suggested that the two of you spend the holidays at home, just you and him.

You agreed with his suggestion, the two of you calling your families and letting them know that from now until new years, you'd be unavailable as you'd be spending time together.

Most of the racing season, you don't get to see George. You're stuck at work and there are very few weekends that you're able to hop on a plane and go see him. When he's home from racing, he's exhausted so you don't get to go many places or do much.

It wasn't the ideal way to spend your first year as a married couple but that's life I suppose.

The holidays were a much needed break from reality; you and your husband cuddled up with nothing to do and nnwhere to be.

As a married couple does, you had old traditions and new ones.

George suggested stockings be your new tradition, seeing that neither you nor him had one in years. You got customs ones made, all your favourite places and things on there, your names stitched into the top and hung on your fireplace.

As for old traditions, your family always ordered Christmas breakfast opposed to making it. So you ordered from your favourite spot, a few minutes from the flat in London.

After breakfast, you two opened your gifts, FaceTiming your families to wish them a Merry Christmas.

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing, you two went for a walk around the block, getting some fresh air before George started on Christmas dinner - his family tradition. He made sure to get everything done for 7pm on the dot, of course his mum on FaceTime so the two of them could cook together. That was mostly because George had no idea what he was doing. You popped in and out to help when you could but George shooed you away, assuring you he knew what he was doing.

For a first attempt, things came together quite well. He did burn the potatoes but if you look past that, it was just as good as his mum's.

A new tradition, a Christmas movie marathon topped with matching pjs.

Your lives were so hectic, you barely saw each other, let alone had time to watch a movie together without the other falling asleep.

The two of you had debated quite a bit before you settled on a pair. You wanted something fun like the Grinch and George wanted the classic flannel.

As any married couple would do, you compromised; flannel pants for George, flannel shorts for you and you both had these cheesy custom shirts that Lewis had made for you two as a joke - George's race car with the Roscoe sitting in it.

The two of you were sprawled on the couch, the tv playing quietly in the background. You tried to focus on the movie but all you could feel was George's fingers on your legs. Your husband traced patterns into your skin, his fingers wandering higher with each passing second.

"George," you mumble, his hand wiggling away from your grip as it continues its hike up your legs.

"What?" He looks over at you.

"Are you even watching the movie?"

"I've seen it a million times babe."

You roll your eyes, "yeah? So what's happening?"

George looks up at the screen, trying to make up something but he shrugs. "I don't know." He admits, making you laugh.

The man pulls you to sit up, his hands on your hips as he helps you up and over onto his lap. "How am I meant to watch the movie if I'm facing you?" You asked him, arms over his shoulder.

"I'm much better than the movie," he says, a smile on his face.

You roll your eyes yet again, playfully of course. George pulls you flush against him, his hands under your shirt. "This isn't very family friendly, George."

He pulls the shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere behind you. "Good thing there's no family here."

You lean into your husband, kissing him softly before moving to his cheek and down his jaw.

The kisses trail down his neck to his collarbone before you scoot back on his lap and begin kissing down his chest, his shirt joining yours on the floor. You follow the pattern of his freckles all the way down to his hips.

Sliding off his lap, you settle onto your knees in front of George. Your husband smiles, his knuckles rubbing along your jaw.

“You’re so pretty,” he hums, leaning down to kiss you.

Your hands slide between the two of you, undoing the knot on his pants, George lifts his hips and helps you slide them off. His eyes fixed on you as your lips wrap around his cock, his chest dropping and raising with each breath.

He can’t help but watch the way your head bobs up and down. His hand pulls your hair away from your face, letting you set the pace.

His head falls back against the couch, breathing out a string of explicits as you hollow your cheeks. “C’mere, sweetheart.” George whispers, pulls you off him slowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue sliding up the underside of his cock.

You're back on his lap now, George's hands reach under you to pull your shorts to the side. You're kissing him again, he was about to pull your panties to the side only to realize you don’t have any on. He smiles against your lips.

George lets you sink down onto his cock. Both of you letting out a satisfied sigh, your nails dig into his pale skin. The red marks on his shoulders match the nail polish on your fingers.

It’s hot, heated, and heavy.

He bucks his hips and your nails drop down from his shoulders to the scratches along his back. He lets out a groan, his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Your hand tangles in his hair, pulling his head back so you can kiss him. You kiss all over his face, his cheeks red from the blush forming on his cheeks.

He loves when you love on him like that.  

“You’re so good to me,” you mumble against his cheek, rocking your hips back and forth. “Mmm there,” you breathe, chest pressed to his. Charles’s lips find your shoulder, he bites down softly when he cums, feeling you clench around him.

You're lying against your husband, his giant hand on your back. "I think your movie is over," he whispers in your ear.

You giggle, shaking your head. "That's okay.

---

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[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 12 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 13

Summary: Daemon finds out that he was destined for greatness but it's not the journey he is supposed to take with you.

Warning: 18+, kidnapping, assault, smut, crude language, kidn description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of child molestation, mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking

It's been a week since Daemon had rescued you from King's landing, you have had plenty of time to collect your thoughts in that warm cozy cabin of his. The dramatic change in your life, which was once so ordinary, has taken some time to comprehend. At first, all of it felt like a dream, however, as the days went by, you had come to terms with the fact that everything that has transpired was indeed real and not a product of your imagination. In just a few months your boring, mundane life has changed so drastically that it seemed surreal.

Two days after he rescued you he went back to get Caroline on your insistence, you had called her at the center pretending to be a relative and had instructed her to be at the terrace anyhow late at night, the door was barricaded but the locks were no match for Daemon's strength.

He didn't bring her back to the cabin though, when asked he simply told you that it was his special place where he came to recuperate and relax, he expressed you in clear words that the only reason he brought you along was because he wanted to share his home with you, he had been thinking about it for a while.

When you asked him whether he had the chance to go look for the book he simply shook his head in response and changed the topic altogether.

You had also been suffering through bouts of nightmares every time you fell asleep but he was there by your side, holding you close, making you feel safe, making you feel as if you were invincible around him and nothing would ever harm you again.

It was also getting harder and harder to keep your hands off each other and it's not that you didn't want to take that step further with him but a part of you always hesitated.

Things weren't exactly normal, you could pretend that you were on a vacation but the reality couldn't have been any farther, you were deemed missing and police had been looking for him because they thought he was the one to kidnap you, of course you wanted to go to the London police department and file a complaint against Viserys and Cole but Daemon convinced you otherwise, and at first you felt offended by it but then you realized that going to cops would only put him in danger since he already had a hit on his head due to the man he had hurt in the past.

“You know it's rude to snoop on other people’s belongings,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you from behind. You were admiring his book collection in the living room when your eyes fell upon the dresser below the shelf, you were about to open one of the drawers when he interrupted you.

“Where were you ?” You asked him as you turned to face him so he gave you a smile and pecked your lips.

“Went to see Caroline” he answered truthfully, making your brows perk up with curiosity.

“Mmm okay”

“Wanted to check on her well being.. nothing else” he clarified even though you didn't need a justification, not really, she was a friend and he was allowed to see her whenever he wanted.

“That's not what I..never mind”

“What's bothering you?” he asked you as he caressed your head before he leaned into you to kiss you briefly.

“Nothing I just don't like being alone here ..in the middle of the woods with animals, predators and what not-” he couldn't help but chuckle as you said that.

“Mmmm you're living with one, you realize that right?” you rolled your eyes at the statement, he was anything but a predator.

“You're not an animal.. certainly not a predator, you are a.. very special man, kind and gorgeous and so rare” you mumbled softly as you caressed his cheek, making the corner of his mouth curve into a smile. He was always shy about receiving genuine compliments, the only ones he could digest were those that were sexual in nature.

“You look good in my clothes” he murmured tenderly.

“Mmmm they're comfy but i do need to get my stuff back, I left everything behind, everything that was important to me is there in that room or I'm afraid they must have thrown it all away” you sighed so he cupped your cheeks.

“I'll get them back for you i promise”

“You shouldn't go there again”

“Someday I'd have to confront him”

“I know..it's just not safe” he chuckled as you said that.

“I can take care of myself sweetheart”

“So I'm not supposed to worry because you can take care of yourself?”

“Don't mind me, I love that you worry and that you can't live a second apart from me when I'm gone” you wanted to roll your eyes but then he wasn't wrong now was he? “They have our posters everywhere” He said to you, making you sigh in response.

“I'm officially a missing person aren't i?”

He picked you up effortlessly by the waist and walked a few steps to the side to gently put you down on the table in the living area, the gesture brought an instant rush of adrenaline.

You did look tempting in his shirt and boxers and it was getting harder and harder for him to control himself around you when you looked as if you belonged to him, the animal in him wanted to be sated and pleasured, he wanted to love you and fuck you at the same time, have your body so close to him that nothing would ever seperate him from you but he sensed your resistance everytime he was around you, he sensed your hesitation, that feeling of something holding you back, he could smell your desire for him but he also knew you weren't ready to go all the way.

“I'm on my period” you said to him as you kissed down from his jawline to his neck, it wasn't easy keeping yourself away from him but there was this lingering feeling of foreboding keeping you on edge, you felt as if something bad was about to happen to you and you didn't know how to stop feeling that way.

A moan escaped your lips as he pressed his palms below your hips and pulled you closer to him. When you woke up this morning you were surprised to find a paper bag filled with sanitary napkins, painkillers and a bunch of snacks. He knew you were about to bleed soon even before you did, his senses were intertwined with your body in a way that excited you and terrified you at the same time.

He had the ability to make you feel so important and special that it terrified you, you knew you wouldn't be able to feel that way ever again.

No man would ever be able to compare or compete.

“You think I don't know that you daft girl?” he licked on his lower lip subconsciously as his hand slid up your back and he clutched your hair between his fist, his eyes glued on your plump lips, kissing you was nothing short of an addiction for him, the longer he did it the more addicted he got to you.

“You know I'm not young enough to be addressed as a girl anymore” you chuckled as you spoke and his lips did break into a small smile.

“You'd always be my girl, little darling”

“That's cute, you're cute”

“Not the word a man likes to hear when he's hard darling”

“Mmmhmmm you're so tensed” you murmured against his mouth and he let out a lowly deep growl as you fiddled with button of his jeans.

“You're the reason”

“Mmmmhm?” you couldn't help but smile, he took his shirt off as quickly as he could while you pulled his cock out of the restraints, he then placed your other hand on his chest right where his heart was, his skin was ever so hot to the touch “Then I shall release some of that tension” you whispered in his ear as you gave him a small stroke and all you heard in response was a slight groan.

You looked down as his cock became fully erect in your hold, a flush warmed your cheek, you were still getting used to seeing a man this way, you never knew that holding a man's cock and pleasuring him could make you feel so pleased in return. He was a god amongst the men, even without the powers he owned, he was different from any other man you have ever known and you just wanted to satisfy and please a man like him. The way his cock pulsated in your grip was enough to make you wet and dripping.

“Do all cocks look this good?” you whispered and his eyes opened all wife and perplexed.

“Look at you running that filthy mouth, you couldn't even bring yourself to say the word a month before”

“You're the one corrupting me” he snickered as you said that.

“I didn't ask you to give me a handjob sweetheart” His fingers dug into your thighs as he held onto you possessively, you couldn't help but grind your hips against the table, the friction from the pad stimulated your clit almost perfectly. “The answer to your question is inconsequential because mine is the only one you'd ever get to see, and taste, and get fucked with”

And how you wished for it to be your destiny but your peaceful life with him seemed too good to be true. Two days later while cleaning you found the book stashed under the couch in the living room and when asked he barely gave you a disinterested shrug as if he didn't care to learn more about his heritage. However you did care, knowing that Daemon had been restless all his life and this book held some answers was the only motivation you needed. So you grabbed the book and his arm to drag him to the bedroom, then you both sat down in front of the study table.

“We will talk about your lying ways once we are done reading this” you glared at him so he sighed but he definitely adored it when you went all strict on him. The book seemed old but it was preserved well somehow. As you began to read you noticed that Daemon was beginning to take interest in it as well.

There was an illustration in the book that depicted the history of the dracosapiens, starting in 110 AD. It showed that the Targaryen family used to own real dragons, those majestic creatures were bonded to their ancestors since birth. As the dragons were about to go extinct, a blood ritual was performed by one of the Targaryens, and the first dracosapien of its kind was born.

This first born child was tasked with protecting the world from an inevitable threat during his lifetime and then passing the responsibility on to its offspring. The book claimed that since that time, hundreds of these creatures had been born and their duty was to protect the earth from the imminent danger that carried the ability to wipe out the majority of the population.

“I don't understand, it says the first born child is the one to carry the genes forward but i wasn't the first..i was the second son” he said to you and it confused you for a moment as well but then you realized why it had to happen this way.

“Maybe that's why he resents you so much, he must think that he should have been the one to have that honor” he hummed as you said that.

“Yeah he should have been the one” he mumbled under his breath so you placed your hand on his and disagreed.

“Perhaps the universe knew that your brother didn't deserve to have such a divine power, he is not a good person Daemon, he'd have misused it, i mean he kept the book all his life and he made you feel crazy about it, there's so much more he's hiding, he told you that your father disappeared but why would he do that? If he was the same as you then according to the scripture it was his responsibility to teach you everything about this”

Daemon sighed deeply, you always made so much sense to him and he knew he had so much to learn about his parents and especially his father. He leaned closer to kiss your cheek so you gave him a smile.

“It's kind of sexist though, just men being born as the protector of the realm” you mumbled playfully so he nodded.

“It is.. perhaps we should change that”

Your face flushed as he said that and just to hide that embarrassment you chose to roll your eyes instead even though the thought of having a family with him made you giddy.

As you flipped through the pages there was a section that sparked your interest.

“The current bearer and his mate for life would spend their days restless in their own skin until they find the other. In order to pass down the blood magic to the next bearer, the current bearer must find his soulmate in the one whose womb would serve as the collector of his seed. The right time will always bring them together in the same place. She shall be the one born with a mark on herself, a sign of a dragon's wings, for they are two halves of the same body. Only upon the union will their lost souls be find peace with each other.” your heartbeat sped as you read about the mark.

“Blimey this is utter crap -” Daemon interrupted as he rolled his eyes so you looked at him before looking down again.

“Daemon-” your eyes teared up as you turned the page and saw the sketched illustration of the said mark that is supposed to be on his soulmate “I think I have seen this mark on Carol–” he shut the book before you could even finish your words.

“Shut up okay?” he turned to you and cupped your cheeks as he leaned into you to kiss you, pouring every ounce of emotion that he felt for you. He didn't want to read any further, he didn't want some book to tell him who he was supposed to be with.

“Daemon -”

“Shhhhh don't be silly alright-” he kept interrupting you because he was afraid that you'd lean into this idea and then you'd try to push him away.

“I have no mark like that anywhere on me” your voice broke as you spoke, the reality of the situation was beginning to kick in.

“So?”

“You have a soulmate” he snickered as you said that.

“You sound crazy, you know that?”

As if everything else was completely normal about this situation. You didn't want to hurt him but if everything written in this book was correct then it was clear that it wasn't you he was supposed to meet in King's landing.

It was Caroline.

She had the wings mark on her thighs, that's what you had seen that evening when she was standing half naked on her door frame.

“This is crazy for you? You know what else sounds crazy? Your existence..but it's not..it's as real as it could be” he groaned as you said that.

“Where are you even going with this thing huh?”

“The mark..i have seen it on Caroline, it's on her thigh, perhaps you have seen it too” he let out a disgruntled sign as you said that.

“I don't care, okay?”

“How could you not care? Aren't you the least bit curious about this?” you wiped your tears, there was this sinking feeling in your gut that made you feel doomed.

“So that is it huh? You speak of it as if it's no big deal? So what now? We break up and I fuck Caroline? And all my issues would resolve magically because we were supposedly born for each other?” he asked as he stood up and began to pace the room frantically.

“I don't know what you're supposed to do with her but in the book-”

Before you could even finish your sentence he stormed towards you and slammed his fist on the table which made you flinch in response. For a moment you saw the scales appear on his face and his eyes had turned red.

He was angry and rightly so but you didn't want to fuck up his life any further then it has been already, he had suffered so much, he deserved to find peace and happiness even if it was without you.

“God damn it y/n. Am I really this easy to discard for you? Hmm?” He asked as he hovered over you, his eyes pleading with you to let it go.

“Easy? You think this is easy for me?”

“It sure looks that way. You know what? I don't want to talk about this.. you want to get the fuck out of my life ..do it..”

He stormed out of the room and you knew you had to give him time to cool down, words said in anger were hardly ever true or honest.

You needed to calm yourself as well, you didn't want him to think that this relationship and the time you had spent with each other in the past few months meant nothing to you, when it was in fact the opposite.

As you came out of the shower he was already in the bed so you quietly climbed in, he had his back turned to you so you brought your fingers up and caressed his skin slowly before you snuggled into him.

“All my life I have waited to feel something for someone, just something that would make me feel alive, that burning fire, that romance that people often spoke of, that urgent need to kiss the man you're attracted to, to be consumed by someone you're so in love with, i never thought that it existed but then I met you and I felt it all and I felt it all so quickly that it didn't even feel real at times. You think this is easy for me? Knowing that I'm not the one you're supposed to be with? That I'm not made for the only man I would ever want?”

He turned around as your voice choked on your tears and cupped your cheeks. His own eyes were teary, his skin even warmer than usual.

“You’re going to let a fucking book decide who I am supposed to be with? You're being stupid” he asked, his voice tender but desperate,

“Is it stupid though? Our thing..this..it's new, i know we have all these intense feelings at the moment but what about our future?”

“What about it?”

He huffed as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Ten years from now it won't be the same, and you'd resent me as I'd be the reason you're not able to fulfill your destiny ..i won't be able to give you your dragon babies-”

“I don't even like kids-”

“You don't..but that's how you feel now..in this moment-”

“So what now? Caroline is my ‘soulmate’-” he airquoted the term as he wasn't really taking it seriously and you didn't blame him “So I should be with her even though I have no such love for her?” you sat up as he said that. He wasn't really looking at the situation the same way as you.

“Don't you think it's weird that she went to that same exact center as you and was put in the room right next to you? And then she was the first person to see you in your natural form? I didn't get to see you in months but she saw you the first night she met you. And how quickly you were able to trust her, remember that? Perhaps something more would have happened if it wasn't for me..i–” there was a lump in your throat rendering you unable to speak but you knew you couldn't be this person that would held him back from being with his mate “I got between you both” he turned to you as you said that, his arms wrapped around your shoulders as he pulled you closer.

“You're breaking my heart”

“Not just yours -”

“Don't do this darling..”

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you hugged him as tightly as you could before you held onto his face and kissed him as if you were kissing him for the last time. You wanted to engrave this moment in your head, the feeling of his lips upon yours and how it left every inch of your existence ablaze because you knew you'd never be able to feel this way again. In order for Daemon to fulfill his destiny you'd have to step out of his life.

“I want to go to the cops and tell them everything, I'll tell them that you weren't the one to hurt me but that you saved me, I'll get us out of this problem” You said as you stepped off the bed as quickly as you could, you couldn't even bear to look at his face at the moment because you knew your resolve would crumble.

“What about me? What am I supposed to do without you?” he asked you, his voice no longer carried hope, it sounded broken and hopeless, reminding you of the day you had met him for the first time.

“Do what you were born to do, you wanted to learn the truth about yourself and you did but your truth is not the end of your purpose, you were born to do greater things with your gift and you have to carry your legacy forward, that's what your parents would have wanted for you…give her a chance Daemon, maybe she's all you need in your life, how would you know if you won't even try?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @daenny-t @avalyaaa @shuichiakainx

[s-awturn]

Us, again || CS55

summary: Abandoned in a strange country, with no money, friends or family and a positive pregnancy test, Y/N finds herself on the brink of unprecedented chaos. There is no one she can count on, except her ex best friend, who she didn't want to have to turn to.

cw: conflict, abandonment, crying crisis and mention of an anxiety attack. Old conflict, nostalgia, separation, problem solving, relationship to be established, ex-friends to lovers. Extreme cuteness

a/n: I wanted to start something like this, and Carlos and Toto are always my favorites for angst and this plot arose especially for the grid's smooth operator. And I articulated the details of the story while reading "my tears ricochet" by @spngi and it's no secret to anyone that I'm a drama girl, so be aware that this is going to be a lot of drama, something cute and sweet, we'll see how it turns out.

a/n¹: notes: oh my god, this took so long to finish, I almost gave up when Tumblr lost everything I had ever written (I almost cried) after four attempts, three days, I finally finished it, anyway, I hope you like it, yay!

Freely inspired by Taylor Swift's "cardigan".

“I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / The smell of smoke would hang around this long / 'Cause I knew everything when I was young / I knew I'd curse you for the longest time”

"This isn't happening, Y/N, Don't fucking fuck with me! This isn't happening!" I hear Aaron's raised voice as he walks through the hotel room, in my hands, an urgent ultrasound and a pregnancy test with a static "positive" on the test screen. "I can't be a father now!"

"I also didn't choose to be a mother now, Aaron, much less did I make this child alone!" I respond, equally upset and stand in front of him, I would never let him, or any man in the world, get above me.

"So it's decided, we will have the abortion" he says as if it were simple, and my mind spins in a huge spiral, I don't know if abortion is an option for me, much less in a strange country and in circumstances like this. "Ireland guarantees the right to abortion, we can do it today, hopefully!"

Aaron holds my arms tightly and shakes me lightly, trying to convince me. I move away from him as if I had been shocked and stop in the other corner of the suite, looking at him as if he were a stranger.

"I'm not going to have an abortion, much less in a foreign country! I cannot and will not decide this overnight, Aaron!" I speak and I see him become more exasperated and veins grow on his forehead, a sign of stress.

"You've got to be fucking kidding," he complains, and I don't like the glazed look he's giving me. "You can't decide? Y/N, fuck, we have plans, we start our trip now and you can’t decide?”

"No, we're talking about my body! Whether I carry this pregnancy forward or not, is my decision!" My voice echoes in the room and Aaron sighs, I feel a bad shiver running up my spine when I see my boyfriend's green eyes go dark.

"You're right, it's your decision, it's your body..." He rests his hands on his hips, breathing deeply "let's sleep, we'll go back to London and talk better"

I nod and change into comfortable pajamas. The test and ultrasound are forgotten on the table. All around us, the strange tension and feeling of something wrong only allow me to sleep much later than I would like. Aaron falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow.

-- ♡ --

I wake up as the sun escapes the translucent curtains, my body hurts like I've been hit by a truck. I barely open my eyes and my intuition kicks in and I sit up so quickly that my muscles groan with pain, there is no sign of Aaron, his bags are not in their place, I jump out of bed and open the safe, I only find my passport, torn up, in fact. No sign of my cards or the money we brought for the trip.

Tears burn my eyes as the truth crashes down on my head.

Aaron abandoned me in Ireland, alone, without money and with my documents torn up, he destroyed me. I start to hyperventilate, there's no one I can ask for help, no one to rescue me, I'm alone in a country I don't even know. My boyfriend left me, alone, pregnant, without money or any fucking support.

"Son of a bitch!" I scream and collapse on the floor, crying without stopping, I should have followed my instincts, but I trusted that he would never do something like that to me, I trusted his feelings. I was such a idiot! It takes me a few minutes to recover, taking deep breaths with my left hand on my flat stomach.

"I'll find a way to get us out of this, baby, I promise" my voice shakes and I try to stop crying. "Your stupid mom will find a way, we'll be fine soon"

After forty minutes between "I'll fix this" and "Oh my God, I'm fucked", I call the hotel reception, and I have the excellent news that my stay is guaranteed for another eight days, a Since Aaron — my stupid fucking ex — we paid before we left. At least I have a guaranteed roof over my head for a week, with food and clean clothes, I wouldn't be completely homeless.

My parents passed away years ago, my friends walked away from me when I started dating Aaron, which means I'm fucking alone.

A new bout of crying chokes my throat and I'm tired of being strong, I can't believe that stupid man left me and stole my money. I feel so, so destroyed. I face the test and the ultrasound, I wanted my mother to be here, I wanted her to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay.

Five days later.

"Wow, really? One hundred and fifty euros for a new passport? I don't have that money!" my hope dies as soon as I understand how bad my situation is. "I have the police report, isn't that worth anything?"

"I can check with my superiors, but it will take at least two weeks, Miss L/N"

"Two weeks? I can't afford to stay here for two weeks, I have no money!" My voice shakes and I suppress the urge to cry.

"It's the best I can do, Miss"

"Well, thank you then..." I thank you grudgingly and hang up. It's been five days since Aaron left, in the meantime, I've sunk into so much self-pity that I'm sharing the rent with Samara. I've swallowed my pride the last few days and called some old friends, but all the calls went to voicemail, and that doesn't surprise me.

What did I expect? That they would welcome me with open arms after I turned my back on everyone? How I was deceived;

My reservation will expire in three days, and then I will literally be in the gutter of Dublin, with no chance of returning to London, all the disappointment turns my stomach and brings on the disgusting feeling of sickness, I only have time to run to the bathroom and vomit my breakfast into the toilet. I don't know if it's a symptom of pregnancy or if it's a consequence of the horrible situation I'm in. I brush my teeth and go back to the room, going straight to the suite's balcony and facing the view of the city, I hope Dublin's landscape makes me forget how bad everything is around me. Sitting on the lounge chair, looking at the azaleas on the balcony wall, she absently ran her fingers over her belly; If you asked me a few days ago if I wanted to be pregnant, my answer would have been a giant "no", but now, I feel anxious about the little things.

Looking forward to buying the baby's clothes, choosing the color of the room or making a list of names, nothing will be easy, I know, but I will make it work, even with all the difficulties and problems, I will strive to be a good mother, and a father too if necessary.

"You didn't come at a good time, little one, but I promise I'll do everything I can for you" I murmur, trying to be confident and find some way out. There are no more tears to cry, there's no more pain to suffer so I'm not going to waste any more energy on it, fuck Aaron, I'm capable of taking care of everything, I just need some time, but I'll make it. I remain on the balcony until the end of the afternoon, when the hotel reception calls me, letting me know that dinner is already served, the mention of food makes me salivate with hunger, in the same way that it shakes my stomach in previous waves of nausea. "I need energy to sort things out for us, little one, so you can let mommy keep the food down today, huh?”

I talk to my stomach as I look for my cell phone in the mess on the bed, ignoring the pieces of my passport, otherwise I would have a tantrum and be able to get to England by swimming. I greet some guests, who ask me how I am and if the baby is already giving me trouble, and they also ask me if I managed to solve the passport problem. These same guests found out about this when they found me in tears at the reception, sympathizing with the situation I was in.

"We're fine, he's already deciding what he likes to eat, and avocado toast isn't on the list" I say laughing as we go downstairs. The restaurant is not that crowded, most guests prefer to dine in local restaurants and pubs, so most of the seats were vacant, the process of serving my food and choosing the table furthest from the air conditioning takes less than ten minutes. The food on my plate is almost gone when I'm drawn to the call of an Irish sports program, they were going to rebroadcast the Monaco GP qualifying, with comments from the commentators. I don't even notice the time passing, I end up staying there in the restaurant as the guests leave and say goodbye to me, and my heart starts racing like a rocket when the camera focuses on Carlos Sainz.

"I haven't heard anything from him since... Oh, it's been so long..." I murmur, resting my chin in my hands, hoping he can get a good position. Even though I haven't been to the races for some time, I still know how things work and I also know that Monaco is a difficult circuit. I can't help but be thrilled when he gets P2, it was quite an achievement! This leads me to wonder if he still keeps the same phone number.

Can Carlos help me... I know I'm being selfish, but I have no one else to turn to, and I'm about to despair. We were friends until one of his girlfriends decided that there was no more room in Carlos' life for me, until she decided that I could no longer come between them, not that I would, I always wanted my best friend to be happy, with whoever he was, and what hurt the most was Carlos agreeing with her and cutting me out of his life. Carlos was my best friend.

"It doesn't hurt to try, I already have the 'no'" I murmur, sliding my finger across my cell phone while I look for his phone. With my heart racing, I press "call" and wait and at the height of my anxiety, I count the seconds until he answers. Thirty seconds until I hear Carlos' familiar voice.

"Hello?" He says and I can't hold back my tears, like an emotional idiot.

"Carlos?"

"Y/N? Is that really you?" He looks as surprised as I am.

"Well yes, it's me" I give a choked laugh, the tears are blocking my nose, soon I'll be exhausted. "I know we're not friends anymore, Carlos, but I need your help... I don't would bother you if it wasn't necessary"

I hear the sound of a door closing and a strong accent complaining in what I think is French.

"You would never bother me, how can I help you, cielo?"

And then I talk, I say everything that's happening, my sobs make me cry in some parts, the hormones are already in an uproar, apparently. Carlos listens to me without interrupting once, and if I know him well, I know he's messing up his hair and frowning like he always does when he's concentrating.

"I wouldn't be calling if I weren't desperate, Carlos..."

"Calm down, calm down, you did well in the place, cielo, I won't be able to go, of course, but you'll be home soon, I promise" he says, there are no signs of hesitation in his voice and It comforts me in a way I can never explain. I hear the sound of drawers opening and a sheet of paper being torn apart "give me the address of the hotel, I won't be able to go, because of the rush, but I will send my advisor to take care of everything, don't worry, bien?"

"Thank you, thank you so much! I can't even tell you how grateful I am" I speak emotionally and give the hotel address next to the phone, in case I don't answer.

"There's no need to thank me, cielo, I would never leave you helpless, never" he assures me and I feel eighteen again, sitting on the sidewalk outside my house with him, the two of us eating ice cream and talking about his season. Oh God, I missed him so much.

"Congratulations on P2, you were great" I say sincerely, Carlos is a great driver and I know how much he works every day, I don't need to be with him to know, he is very obstinate.

"Oh, did you watch it? Thanks, Y/N"

We stay silent on the line, sharing our breaths until I break.

"I don't have enough words to thank you, Carlos, but thank you, you saved me" I say, swallowing the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. "I need to sleep now... Good luck in the race tomorrow, I'll be rooting for you"

"Thank you cielo, have a good night" he says and we remain on the call until I hang up. Carlos and I have always shared silence, staying silent has never been a problem between us. When I lock myself in my room, all the weight of that day falls on me like a stone, I take a hot shower and lie down, tormented by memories.

"You don't call me anymore, so I came to see you, your mother told me you were here" I say, entering his room, something we always did, Carlos and I always went to each other's houses.

"Well, I didn't return your call for a reason" he said and I saw Isabella, his current girlfriend come out of the bathroom, wearing one of his shirts. "We'll talk later, Y/N"

“You never call me Y/N, what’s wrong, cielo?”

"We can't be friends anymore" He says it without pity, harshly and even cruelly.

"Huh? Why? Because of Isabella?"

"Isabella has nothing to do with this" he says quickly, standing in front of his girlfriend, Isabella puts on shorts and says she will give us privacy, I don't even look at her face, keeping his eyes on Carlos. "your feelings do!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Carlos?! My feelings? Are you crazy?

"I heard your conversation with Blanca" he confesses and I feel my heart stop, he shouldn't have... "Don't make me say, Y/N, So spare us the humiliation of having to break your heart over feelings that should never exist, because you know, we would never have anything."

I could call him names, fight him, or do anything else, but I just nodded and took off the friendship bracelet we had made last summer. A stupid symbol of our bond, which no longer exists.

"I think you're right, I hope you're immensely happy, cielo and that you can achieve everything you dream of" I leave the bracelet on his desk before leaving the room. I say goodbye to Mrs. Sainz and Blanca, Carlos' sister apologizes, she didn't know he was listening. "It's my fault, there's no need to apologize"

I said goodbye to them, aware that it would be the last time we would see each other like that, I had been accepted at a university in England and with the death of my parents, nothing kept me in Spain anymore. Except only for Carlos.

But not anymore, that was the last time I spoke to Carlos.

My heart jumps when I wake up, I feel my face wet and I confirm that just like in the memories, I cried. I really had feelings for Carlos, but I was willing to ignore them if it meant having my best friend with me, I didn't care if he was dating or anything, I just needed him, I didn't have anyone else, feelings that shouldn't have even arisen. I didn't want to ask him for help, but I knew I would never have the courage to ask Blanca, Reyes or Mr. Carlos, so I had to swallow my pride and call him.

I'm still looking at the hotel ceiling, thinking about the floodgate that Carlos opened in me, with just one phone call. I thought I was over it, that the hurt and resentment were gone. As for the mistake, I was as hurt and resentful as years ago, it still hurt as if it had been done yesterday. My daydreams are interrupted by a call from an unknown number, I answer and make the mistake of answering while yawning.

"I'm sorry, please, I just woke up" I ask before hearing the person, who laughs, I would recognize that laugh anywhere, even in a crowd. "Carlos"

"Sorry for waking you up, cielo" he says and I feel my skin itch, the nickname takes me back to good days, where everything was sweet and full of dreams.

"Relax, I literally just woke up. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes everything is fine, I just called to let you know that there will be a car to pick you up at one o'clock in the afternoon, you will be taken to a private flying field straight to London" he says, I hear the buzz of the pitlane in the background, lots of shouting in Italian and the uproar of the crowd. The race would start soon. "Is everything okay with you, cielo? Can you get it ready in time?"

"Yes, definitely yes, I didn't want to bother you, Carlos, especially before a race."

"Ah" he clicked his tongue, dismissing my apology "it's no big deal, I promised I would take you home and I will, there will be a car at the private airport to take you home, just give your address to the driver, and don't worry about paying anything, you only need to worry about eating and resting during the trip, as for your passport, I scheduled a time for you to get a new copy of your document, in three days, you will receive a memo on your cell phone."

My throat constricted, well here I am feeling like crying again, these hormones are still going to make me dehydrated from crying, or my tears would dry up at some point.

"You're being a guardian angel for me, Carlos, I'll never thank you enough" I murmur hoarsely, swallowing the tears.

"Oh no, no please, don't cry, you know I never know how to deal with your tears" he says and I know he's despairing, which makes me laugh and sniffle, in a strange way that I know I've never done before "I'm not doing anything much, if with all this money, I can't do something simple like take you home, what is all this for?"

"I know, thank you very, very much... I'll pack my bags and have coffee, you'll do well in this race, I know that" I say quickly and hang up before it gets awkward, or rather, weirder.

The following hours are a mess, checking in at the hotel, the journey to the runway and much of the flight are done with my mind on standby, I could only think about how betrayed I felt by Aaron's attitude, how I needed to swallow my pride and ask for help from someone I swore I wouldn't see again. The Earth turned several times until it threw me into Carlos Sainz's life once again. I sink into the armchair looking at the fluffy clouds through the window.

"I said I would find a way, little one, and we're going home now. Maybe you'll question my methods in the future, but not my results" I laugh at my own joke and I let my hands rest on my belly, I suddenly feel anxious to see it bigger, Being a mother was not a goal for the next five years, I'm not at all prepared for motherhood, but I don't know how to describe the panic that gripped my heart when Aaron suggested the interruption. I have a stable job, which allows me to work from home and a flexible schedule, I have a small apartment, but with an extra room for the baby and well, I decided to move on. I already feel very connected to the baby, and there is a break in the loneliness that I have felt for years, it is good not to feel alone.

My cell phone rings the moment I turn the key in the lock, Carlos' name flashes on the display and I answer it while trying to push my bags inside.

"The driver just told you he dropped you off at home, did everything go well? Were the flight attendants kind to you?"

"Yes, yes, everything was fine, Carlos, the flight attendants are really cute, I was treated very well, you can put your weapons away" I breathe a sigh of relief as I sit down on my sofa, finally away from all that hell I went through in Dublin.

"That's good, cielo, I've been worried about you all day"

I don't know what to answer, I don't know what Carlos expects from me after all these years, after so much distance.

"I'm glad you're home and well, cielo, I'll let you rest now"

Another time, we are silent on the call until I ask "did you win?"

“It was Charles' home race, my job was to make sure he won, but I got second place” he says, there's a certain 'job done' tone in his voice. "I'm happy with today's result"

"That's good, I'm happy for you, and for your teammate" I say sincerely.

"Thank you, that matters a lot... Anyway, rest okay? You can't sleep late anymore, take care cielo, call me for whatever you need, anything, don't hesitate" he says with such firmness that It almost makes me uncomfortable, so we hang up. I don't know if Carlos is back in my life and I don't know if I'm okay with that. It's so confusing, but I don't need to deal with it right now, I have more important things to take care of.

Almost two weeks later, I got a new passport, applied for new cards and was being monitored by an obstetrician. Luckily I didn't run into Aaron a single day, I changed the locks, I threw his things in the trash and made my transition from a committed woman to a single woman smoothly.

"What do I need to buy at the market?" I mutter as I check cupboards and fridge, licorice dangling from my lips. "milk, eggs, sugar, tomatoes and pasta... Cheese and bacon, for sure" Maybe I'll make a carbonara when I get home from the store. I had been in the middle of an Italian food fixation for days, all I wanted was pasta, tomatoes and cheese. Just when I finish making the market list, my campaign rings and I have a heart attack when I see no one other than Carlos Sainz — and all his other surnames — standing at my door.

"Carlos? What are you doing here?"

"I don't know, to be honest I don't know, but after you called me, I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you again" He says it so fast I think he's going to choke and I pull him into the apartment before the neighbors see him and decide to hold a carnival on my doorstep. He wastes a few seconds looking around, for an instant I saw my best friend there, the guy who knew everything about my life and who today, knew nothing about me anymore, big breakthrough.

"I'm sorry if you think that explains anything," I reply, looking at how lost he looks. "but again, what do you want here, Carlos?"

"I want to apologize, I was a shitty friend to you, I was cruel, I belittled your feelings, you are the most amazing and resilient person I know" he says, taking a step towards me, I don't back away, but I make it clear that he is not welcome in my personal space. "Life without you has been bad, very bad and I only realized that when I saw you, weeks ago."

"Walking away was the best thing we did, Carlos. God knows how we would have ended up if you hadn't put an end to it."

"No, it shouldn't have, it wasn't the right thing! We were left without our best friends because we didn't know how to deal with things, I didn't know"

"Carlos, you can't be best friends with the guy you're in love with, at some point I would hate you and that would be worse"

"and you didn't hate it?"

I keep quiet, because yes, I hated him for a long time, I still think I do and I don't even know why I'm trying to defend him. It must be the hormones talking.

"Yeah, yes I hated you for a long time, maybe I still hate you, but you were my best friend, I can't hate you forever"

I look at the man who was my mainstay for years, my confidant, best friend, accomplice, the guy who won my heart with gumdrops and notes in candy wrappers. The man I fell in love with and broke my heart. There is a mixture of feelings in me, hurt, pain, hope, resentment, all of it shaking my heart nonstop, I don't know what to feel.

"I don't know if I can have you around, Carlos, you were really my best friend, but you were also the guy I fell in love with and who broke my heart, I don't know if I'm ready to have you back"

He swallows, taking in what I said, and for a moment, I think he's going to give up and walk away, but he nods and straightens his posture "okay, I'm going to prove that I'm sorry, for everything, for being a shitty friend, a stupid guy, I'm going to make you forgive me and" he pauses, to emphasize everything "I'll be with you, I'll make up for all the years, all the pain, I'll deserve you, Y/N, I swear"

I don't even know what to think, my mind goes blank as I try to understand what he's up to.

"What if I don't want to?" The question escapes my mouth without permission, the filter between my brain and mouth is off, apparently. "What makes you think I might want you in my life again?"

He doesn't respond for a few minutes, I can almost see the gears in Carlos' head turning, trying to find a good answer.

"Nothing, but that's never been an impediment for me, you know"

I just stare at him, surprised by that, my mouth articulates, but no sound comes out.

"You came all the way here from Spain for this?"

"I would come from anywhere in the world"

After that there wasn't much we could say, Carlos insisted on staying and making pancakes for me, and I couldn't say no as my stomach growled like a monster at the mention of food. In an instant I was watching Carlos move everything in my kitchen, he chops strawberries and blackberries while letting the pancake batter rest for a while.

“Aaron looked for you?” He questions, putting the fruit in a bowl and only looks at me when I sigh loudly. "What? Has he been bothering you? I'll sort it out"

"What? No, no! He didn't show up"

"Then why do you look frustrated?" I watch Carlos put the frying pan on the fire and add the yeast to the dough, and then stir gently, placing small discs in the hot pan.

"I'm just tired, all the stress from the trip is still affecting my sleep..." I murmur, stealing a piece of strawberry, the smell of the pancakes increases my hunger and Carlos laughs when he hears my belly rumbling. "Don't laugh, I'm eating for two and you have no idea how much this little one likes to eat"

We enter another silent space, Carlos focused on finishing the pancakes and my mind wanders to our conversation, some time before. I'm not a hypocrite in saying that I've already forgiven Carlos, but I don't think there's still space for that kind of resentment, I'm not eighteen anymore, I'm about to be a mother, I no longer have the time or inclination to feed old grudges. And God knows how much I missed him all these years, I refused to watch any races so I wouldn't have to see him. Calling Carlos and asking for his help seems to have put all our dramas in order, It made me understand that one way or another, my life would end up intertwined with his again.

No matter how much I wanted or tried, I would never be able to completely move away from Carlos, and it's time to accept that.

"Here you go, eat it all, I don't want your baby to grow up hating me" he says and pushes over a plate full of pancakes, berries, honey and some icing sugar. A beautiful montage.

"I hope it's good, or we'll both hate you" I reply and laugh when he turns pale, I take out a generous piece and the sweet smell intoxicates me for a few seconds. I go to heaven and back when I chew the piece of pancake, the taste is light and the dough melts in my mouth, I know I can eat this for the rest of my life and be happy every day.

"Holy fucking God, this is perfect, Carlos!" I take a piece of pancake with a strawberry and feel heaven on my tongue, a moan of appreciation makes my whole body vibrate, this is perfect, damn"If you had used that to apologize, I would have definitely accepted it from the beginning."

"if I had known food was the secret, I would have come prepared" He laughs as I finish eating, nothing more is said until I finish the second helping, which Carlos was happy to serve me.

I slide my finger across the plate, picking up the traces of honey and sugar, humming as I literally wipe the plate clean. I insist that he put everything in the dishwasher and come sit with me so we can sort everything out, once and for all.

"I still can't believe you came all the way to London... You got my address from the driver and you're here, making me pancakes and everything..." I say, playing with one of the cushions while Carlos takes the armchair in front of me. I allow myself to face him, he's even more handsome than before, the trail of beard over his chiseled jaw, his thick hair in an elegant mess, Carlos is a vision of fucking paradise.

"I'm not lying, Y/N, I really want to make amends with you, in any way" he assures, and breaks the distance between us, sitting next to me while holding my hands. "You missed me so much, and when you called me crying, I realized that we missed so much from each other, I wanted you to be at my first victory with Ferrari, I wanted to see your graduation, help you move in... "

In a strange way, I'm grateful that he doesn't mention the fact that I was in love with him, not that I'm ashamed of it, but ignoring it might make us easier to get along with.

"We can try, Carlos, try to be friends again, because my goodness, I missed you so much" I confess and he laughs.

"I promise to make it worth it, cielo" he squeezes my hands, running his thumb affectionately from the back of my hand. "I won't disappoint you"

"I bet it'll be a boy," he says, stealing a spoonful of my ice cream, fast enough to avoid the hit of my spoon on his hand. "God said to share bread, you know?"

"Exactly, He said to share the bread, not my ice cream" I mumble, protecting the container with my body. Carlos has been coming to my house for weeks, always bringing food — I'm beginning to suspect that it has a direct connection to my stomach and my hunger —, gifts for the baby and books on child psychology, food introduction and everything he considers necessary to educate a child. He's been taking over my couch whenever he has time off. I dare say that I see more Carlos than my neighbors. "And why do you think it will be a boy? This is misogyny, Sainz"

He tries to steal my ice cream again and this time I slap him right in the middle of the forehead, which is effective because he moves away. "I'm not being sexist, I'm following my intuition, okay?"

"The last time we followed your intuition, we ended up in the middle of nowhere, at three in the morning in a car without gas. If it weren't for my father, you would be grounded to this day." I respond, changing the sofa, Carlos is willing to steal my ice cream, interfering with a pregnant woman's right to satisfy her desire for a sweet treat after lunch. I'm going to report him to human rights.

"But do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"I have no idea, I still don't have that 'maternal intuition' that I've seen in the support group for solo mothers, but I'm fine with any option, I'll love it regardless of gender" I say, my right hand slides over my recently completed five-month-old belly. "I should have found out the sex at the last appointment with the obstetrician, but this little one here had his back turned, can you believe it?"

Carlos laughs, throwing his entire body back and falling onto the sofa. I just watch him laugh, being enveloped by his laughter like a fluffy blanket.

"Seriously, I didn't even know that was possible, crossing your legs, ok, but being on your back is something new" he says, still laughing and drying his tears. I just realize how close he is, When I feel your hand on my belly, the calloused palm warms my skin even with the shirt between us. My breath hitches in my throat, something new growing and It's not just the little traveler in my womb... I don't know if that could be a good thing, especially considering our history.

"Yeah, she told me to go back there in a few days, if I want to find out the gender before the sixth month, then I'll be there on Tuesday, I won't have a meeting at work and I can buy the paints" I explain, poking at the ice cream, trying to distract myself from Carlos' hand on my belly.

"I just need to be in Maranello on Saturday, so I can join you if you want" he suggests, finally moving to his end of the sofa.

"Really? I don't want to disturb you, I know race week is coming and you need to prepare" I say trying, I don't even know what I'm trying, I'm going to blame my exploding hormones.

"I can deal with that later, you need my opinion on paint colors and someone to hold your hand while you root for the business class traveler to be facing forward this time" he said, and looks at me meaningfully "that is, I am most needed here"

"Are you sure? You don't need to go"

"I would be there, even if I were playing crosswords in the office waiting room" he says, without giving me any chance for discussion.

"Okay, whoever said that is no longer here, now pass the ice cream slowly and no one gets hurt" I say and hold out my hand, waiting for the container he stole when he thought I wasn't looking. "Now"

"That's unfair," he grumbles, handing over the pot.

"I'll let you have the ice cream if you get pregnant in my place."

"You win, you can have the ice cream"

-- ♡ --

"Do you want me to come in with you?" He asks and I bite my lip to keep from laughing, Carlos is holding my bag under his shoulder. Quite a scene.

"I need someone to hold my hand, and" I look behind him "I don't see any more volunteers, so smile, you've been selected" I smile, waving my index finger as if it were a flag.

"Okay, let's confirm that my intuition is right"

"Uh-huh, of course yes, cielo" I say, entering the office.

The obstetrician doesn't need to ask any initial questions, since I was here a few days ago, so asking how I am is irrelevant. I change into that horrible hospital gown and lie down on the stretcher, Carlos looks anxious in the passenger seat and my hand grabs his so fast I don't even register it, I laugh nervously as the cold gel is spread across my bulging belly.

"Let's hope he's being an exhibitionist today" she says confidently and starts to use the device.

"How can you understand anything here, it's all blurry" he says, approaching the screen. "Where is his head?"

"Shut up, chilli" I say, but I give a nervous laugh "I don't understand anything either, so let those who do understand tell you what we're seeing", I shake his hand and receive an eager smile.

"We're lucky today, he's turned around, or rather, she" she indicates on the screen and I start crying immediately, Carlos squeezes my hand and wipes my tears. "Congratulations, you will be parents of a very strong-willed girl."

"Oh, no, no, I'm just the family friend" Carlos corrects her, but this is forgotten, given how much I'm crying. "You're crying a lot, should I be worried, cielo?"

"I-I'm fine" I sniffle crying less, I'm having a little girl, I don't even know what to say, I'm exploding like fireworks "I'm fine, really"

"I'll leave you two alone" the obstetrician leaves and I feel, cleaning the gel from my abdomen and I am hugged tightly, Carlos supports me with care and zeal, there is so much between the lines here, so much implied.

"That little girl is so lucky to be born as your daughter" he murmurs, stroking my hair gently "a little girl, damn you were right, my intuition is shit"

I press my hands to his shoulder blades so hard I feel my fingers tremble. "Thanks for coming"

"There's no place in the world I should be, cielo"

"You want me to go to the next race? Why?"

"I like having important people cheering me on there, and Charles is bothering me to meet you" he says, painting the wall lilac, he's all dirty, there's dye in his hair, and of course, he is shirtless. As long as I don't have a knife at my neck, I will never confess that the vision is messing with me. "I will take care of everything, you can stay in the same hotel as me"

"You should stop taking care of everything, or you'll have a heart attack instead of appendicitis" I murmur, Carlos insisted that I sit and watch him paint, he even brought books, chopped fruit and even Alexa to play my favorite playlist. "Seriously Charles Leclerc wants to meet me? Why?"

"I have no idea, Charles must have heard it one of the times you called me" he replies. Carlos speaks so quickly that there's no way not to be suspicious, but I give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure Charles will tell me why.

"Mhmm, I know... Now I'm curious to meet him too... But the trip to Budapest can be so tiring..." I murmur, peeling the pear as I watch him slide the paint roller along the wall perfectly, Carlos is meticulous and perfectionist in everything he sets out to do, so I admire the paint stains in his hair and on different parts of his body, thank God the fan is on here, otherwise I would be melting from the heat, and having him there, almost naked, doesn't help much.

“It’s not like I’m going to let you take a commercial flight to Hungary, please Y/N, I’m not that petty!” He retorts, touching up the paint on the roller while giving me a quick look "You will go with me to Budapest, on a private flight and I will leave you staying in the same hotel as me, if you are worried, I will hire a private neonatal nurse to accompany us, but I really want you to go, it's important for me to have you two there with me."

"If you insist on that—..." I try to say, but he interrupts me.

"I insist yes, and I'm glad you agreed, I was ready to start the Infallible Convincing Plan for Carlos Sainz" he says and I laugh loudly "What? Am I not convincing?"

"Persuasion isn't one of your best qualities, chilli" I mutter, picking up the folded sheet of paper from among the books he brought me "changing the subject, I listed the female names that I liked most for the baby, feel free to give your opinion, I'm quite undecided here, I have good options."

"I'm listening, I hope they are good names and none taken from the books, considering how obsessed with A Court of Roses and Thorns you are, the girl is in danger of being called Feyre" Carlos shamelessly mocks me and I throw the pear stem at him. "I'm just telling the truth, cielo, but come on, give me the options"

"You know, Ancient Egypt has been my Roman Empire for years, so I thought I would pay homage to one of the greatest queens of that civilization, none other than Cleopatra, but" I pause, aware that Carlos will want to object, so I continue quickly "I chose to shorten the name, Cleo. It's a good option, right?"

"It's a beautiful, elegant and feminine name. I like it, you have a good option" he responds, with his back to me, giving a beautiful view of his lats contracting and relaxing. Oh God, what a hell of a handsome man.

"Well, the next option is Athena, as the Greek goddess of justice, wisdom and war, I don't think I need to explain further, right?"

"It's good, but I still prefer Cleo"

"I like Margot and Elena, they are both elegant and short, I didn't think about long and complicated names, I don't want her to have problems learning to write her own name"

"It's a good justification, giving her a name that's easy to read and write... So I still prefer Cleo"

"Don't you want to hear the other options?"

"Nope, I like Cleo, it's beautiful and very meaningful, and it matches her last name, she'll love it, when she understands it"

I hadn't thought about my last name when choosing the names, so Carlos' reasoning makes sense, so I already had a name chosen.

"Alright, we have a winner, I like Cleo too, thanks for helping me choose"

"You're welcome, we are here to serve well and always serve" he makes an exaggerated bow and I laugh.

"Oh really? My kitchen faucet is dripping non-stop, can you fix it for me?" I ask ironically and Carlos wipes the sweat from his face, giving me another meaningful look.

"Of course yes, cielo, I'll sort it out as soon as I'm done here"

"I'm kidding, chilli, you don't have to worry about it"

"But not me, I'll sort it out as soon as it's over" he insists and I give up trying to make him give up, Carlos is as stubborn as a wild horse, it's no wonder he's at Ferrari. Which makes me think of something:

"I agree to go with you, but I want to meet Lewis, it's my condition" I point my index finger and Carlos looks at me, raising his eyebrow.

"Really? I need to find out what makes Lewis Hamilton so appealing to the female audience" I can't identify the feeling in his voice, and I adjust myself in the seat, stroking my protruding belly. Being pregnant isn't easy, the nausea, all the swelling and fluid retention is horrible, I was already sleeping poorly because my belly wouldn't let me find a comfortable position and of course, I've already lost all my clothes. But I don't regret for a moment having continued with the pregnancy, my little traveler is a gift, Cleo already makes my days wonderful. I observe the lilac covering the walls little by little, making her room take on shape and color, soon the furniture would be assembled.

"I think it's the voice, he has a very good voice to listen to, I could listen to hours of ASMR of him speaking" I respond, hearing Carlos mumble intelligibly. "What did you think of color? I didn't want pink because I thought it was too obvious, and I love the combination of lilac and green"

"I like it, they are very pretty shades and you chose a good brand, they don't have a strong smell and they pigment well on the wall... I'm almost done here, where do you leave the tools to fix the tap?"

"Carlos, I was joking, don't worry about it, the plumber will come on Tuesday to fix it, I'm serious" I say, hoping he will forget this story. "Don't worry, it's serious!"

He puts the rest of the paint in the can and takes the paint roller to the laundry area. I even try to help, but Carlos forces me to sit down again when he returns from the laundry area. He himself collects the newspapers from the floor and opens the windows.

"I need a shower now, can I use your bathroom?"

"Obviously, feel free, I'll order a pizza for us" I say, following him to the living room, Carlos waves and gives a quick kiss and and go to my bathroom in the suite. I see how his jeans fit well on his hips, leaving the waistband of his underwear slightly visible and God only knows how that messes with my hormones. “Y/N, you fucking need to control yourself, he’s your best friend, stop acting like a needy bitch.

"Are you Y/N? Finally! It's a pleasure to meet you, Carlos talked a lot, a lot about you!" Charles tells me, giving me a tight, loving hug. He is really very handsome and It's easy to understand why his fans are so obsessed with him, he's gorgeous. He has an adorable dimpled smile on his face and I feel shaken all of a sudden.

"He also spoke a lot about you, Charles, it's great to meet you too" I return the hug.

"I hope he said good things"

"I tell her the truth!" Carlos shouted from afar.

Soon we are surrounded by the team, who are extremely warm and kind to me, but I feel claustrophobic among so many people.

"Okay guys, give her space, please, you're making her suffocate" Carlos appears as a salvation and takes me out of the crowd, Charles follows us to the empty area of the garage. "Are you okay, cielo? Here, drink some water, it's too hot and you can't get dehydrated." He offers me a disposable cup of water and makes me sit down. "I have to talk to my mechanics now, but Charles can take you for a ride in the pitlane, if that's okay?"

"Of course, of course don't worry, you can go, we'll be fine"

"Well, take care of them, Charles"

"Relax, being with me is the same as being with God, relax cabrón"

"That's what scares me" Carlos says and kisses me quickly on the cheek, not caring what it does to me, not that he knows.

"Ready? I'm going to give you the best guided tour of the pitlane" Charles interlaces his arm in the middle and guides me through the pitlane, he is approached by a lot of people, always being extremely kind and attentive, he makes some jokes while introducing the places and some people.

"Y/N! Carlos didn't tell me you were coming!" Lando comes running towards us and hugs me too, we were already close to the Mercedes garage, one of the employees told us that Lewis was in a meeting, so I decided to wait

"It was a last minute decision, there was no way to warn you anyway" I say while Charles takes a chair from the Mercedes garage and makes me sit down.

"Why did you meet her before me?! I hear Sainz talking about her all day!"

"I live in London and I met her during his visit, so I tagged along! It's not my fault you don't live in London!" Lando retorts and I laugh at them.

"Sorry if I'm Monegasque! I didn't choose to be born in Monaco!" My laughter echoes around the room and they stop arguing, and then they laugh too, but the moment is interrupted by Lewis Fucking Hamilton. He's more impressive up close, damn it.

"It's good to finally meet Carlos' girl, you've been the talk of the paddock, he says and my cheeks burn and he hugs me too. The four of us talk for almost forty minutes, Lewis is exactly what I expected, polite, kind and attentive, he really has the aura, that aura that few people have and that made it clear why he is one of the greatest in the sport. He's really impressive.

"Let's go to the garage chérie, you need to get some rest, it's too hot for you to stay out here" Charles says as he guides me to the Ferrari garage, where Carlos is already waiting for us, Seeing him is like a cool breeze on a scorching day, he looks so good in red that wow, it hurts to remember he's leaving the Tifosi.

"How was it? Did you enjoy the ride? Did Charles treat you well?" He asks and sizes me up, but I nod dismissively and hear Charles click his tongue, offended.

"I'm fine, Charles was a perfect gentleman to me, and we met Lando on the way, it was amazing!" I say.

"That's great, cielo, let's go to my room, you need to rest, there was a lot of excitement today" He takes me to his private room and lets me rest on the bed there, I don't mind, my feet hurt so much and I wanted to get some sleep, Carlos sits on the edge and rubs my belly, he looks strange, like he's uncomfortable. "Are you okay? How is Cleo?"

"We're fine, she's great" I reply and feel her move and kick, Cleo is Carlos' biggest fan, apparently, she always moves when he speaks, loves the sound of his voice and kicks in the exact place where his hand is. She's going to be his biggest groupie, and there's no argument.

I watch him, feeling my heart beat like a fool, Carlos has been exactly what I hope he will be, a friend, a great companion, he is always in connection with me, I hate knowing that I'm falling in love with him again, that I'm entering that gray area again, putting our friendship at risk because of my stupid feelings, so I'm going to swallow whatever I feel because I'm not willing to be without my best friend again, I couldn't bear to lose him and I want him to be part of my daughter's life, of our life. So it's okay for me to stay in the friend zone if it keeps him around.

"What's bothering you, chilli? You look strange"

"I... I need to tell you something"

"Carlos, if you brought me to Budapest just to kick me out of your life, I swear to God I will run you over with your own car!" I exclaim, trying to pinch his muscular abdomen but failing, obviously.

"What? Of course not, it's nothing like that" he laughs nervously "It's something else... Well, I know this shouldn't happen, and I don't even know how to tell you this, but spending the last few months with you It's been the best thing in my life, I love spending any available time with you and Cleo, helping you with everything, this has left an impression on me and continues to leave a lasting impression on me, I'm so grateful for allowing me to be a part of this."

He stops, leaving tension in the air, making me anxious.

"What I want to say, cielo, is that my feelings have changed, I no longer feel like your friend, I'm just falling more in love with you every day, I tried to avoid it, because we are friends, but it was inevitable and when I realized it, I was already in love. I know it's not the best case scenario, and I broke your heart before, so it's okay with me if you don't reciprocate, but please, let me stay close to you, close to Cleo, I already love this little traveler, I love her so much and it hurts to imagine not being around—..."

I didn't even notice when I sat down on the bed, but I notice the exact moment my hand grabs the collar of his red t-shirt and I kiss him. As I imagined doing since I was sixteen. Carlos responds almost immediately, there is urgency, care and satisfaction in his kiss, all spiced up by the sweet taste of cinnamon. It's exactly how I always imagined it. It's sweet, strong and intense.

"If it's up to us, you'll be with us forever, cielo" I say and he breathes a sigh of relief, kissing me again while leaving his calloused hand on my belly.

"I'm going back to London now, fuck it, my little girl is coming" he says on the cell phone, I hear the sound of him moving around the room, I breathe loudly when the contraction hurts and I want to cry, but I don't.

"No, no, you're saying goodbye to Ferrari, Cleo won't like knowing that her father is abandoning the race like that" I say in one breath. "We're fine, okay? Blanca is here with me and Reyes will be here soon, please stay calm, love and promise me you will win, for us"

Carlos whimpers and I stop holding him, bursting into tears, I wanted him with me there, but I would never forgive myself if he didn't race his last race with the Maranello team, and Cleo will understand in the future. I know it will.

"Cielo... This is fucking unfair" he kicks something and I sob "I wish I was there, you need me, both of you"

"Win the race, chilli, for us!" I scream because Blanca takes the phone away from me, because I enter the operating room.

-- ♡ --

Cleo is perfect, there is nothing Aaron about her, thank heavens and she is absurdly restless, she doesn't cry, but she doesn't sit still either. I'm absurdly in love with my little traveler, ga she is beautiful, healthy and was born at exactly the same time that Carlos won the race in Abu Dhabi, that didn't give him the championship, but it was extremely important for us, because the checkered flag waved when she cried.

"She's beautiful" Blanca is standing next to the stretcher, holding my daughter's little hand while Cleo breastfeeds, still with her eyes closed. The silence of the maternity corridor is broken by quick footsteps, the door to my room is opened with force and I see Carlos there, he still looks like a mess in his Ferrari overalls, messy hair and very, very tired.

He doesn't say anything, he just walks towards us and kisses my forehead for long seconds and looks at Cleo.

"I'll leave you alone" Blanca gives a suspicious smile and leaves the room.

"Lamento llegar tarde, pequeña estrella, pero gané la carrera por ti". He says in Spanish and I melt with so much love, Cleo seems to recognize his voice and calm down. "she is beautiful, too beautiful, I'm sorry for being late, mi amor"

"It's okay, chilli, you're here at the right time" I say, grateful to smell his expensive cologne, it feels like home and gives me so much comfort. "Thanks for coming."

"There's nowhere I want to be, cielo" he murmurs, carefully I make Cleo stop breastfeeding and cover her breast with the hospital gown. "are you really okay, cielo?"

"I'm, I'm fine actually... How did you get here so fast?"

"Fred left a jet ready for me, I just did the race, got the trophy and came here as soon as I could" he says, running his finger on Cleo's cheek. "She's so beautiful, her nose is identical to yours, happily."

"Do you want to hold her?"

He looks nervous, but accepts it. Carefully, Carlos places Cleo on his lap and walks around the room, talking softly to her, it's the most adorable scene in the world, my heart fills with love as I watch them.

"Cielo, will you marry me?" He says, still looking at the baby in his lap. "I want you close to me always, I want to take care of you, of Cleo. God, I love you both so much and I can't spend another day away from you"

"Are you serious?

"Damn it! I've never been so serious in my life"

"Yes, yes, yes! There is no one better for me, no better father for Cleo" I say in tears, and he comes over, sitting next to me on the hospital gurney. We both watch Cleo sleep in his arms, she looks comfortable and happy with him, just like me.

Months later.

"Let's go see daddy, sweetheart" I say, clearing the entrance to the paddock. It was Cleo's first race since she was born, Carlos had been looking forward to this race for weeks, but didn't want to travel with her so young, so I waited for the Silverstone circuit. I'm in the process of moving to Madrid, but it's happening gradually because of the racing, the 2025 season has been unusual, Williams is finally scoring well, Carlos is having a great season so far, so I thought it was only right that we came to support his race.

Cleo babbles happily, clapping her hands as the team members greet us and joke with Cleo, my little traveler laughs to everyone. She is Miss Congeniality herself, drawing attention wherever he goes. When we finally arrive at the garage, we are greeted by the sound of an engine being tested, the mess of Netflix with the team and Carlos aside, talking to Alex as if they were two old gossips, and when he sees us, he smiles so wide it shines like the sun.

"¡Mi estrellita!" He talks loudly as he comes towards us, Cleo claps her hands and laughs, making the cute baby sounds, getting the team's attention, I don't mind seeing my little girl be his focus first, this is part of what I idealize paradise to be. Cleo laughs as Carlos kisses and tickles her, so I go to greet the team, ask James what his predictions are for the day's race and talk to Alex.

"Where's Lily? I thought I'd have company during the race" I look around, trying to find her, but I hear Alex sigh.

"She's at a golf tournament in Asia, she won't be back until Thursday" he says sadly "She wanted to come, especially since it was Cleo's first race, but she couldn't miss it..."

"Oh, and will it be broadcast? I want to root for her" I say, the two of us spent a long time talking until Carlos came to us, they are both blushing and smiling, which makes my heart skip a beat.

"Hey cutie, I loved your blue jumpsuit it suits you so much" Alex holds out his hands to her and of course my daughter goes with open arms to him, Alex takes her for a walk and sees her cats, giving me and Carlos a little time together.

"Hey cielo, Thank you for coming, it's important to have you here" he says and kisses me, wrapping his arm around my waist, keeping me close."I like this dress, any special occasions?" He says, looking me from head to toe, I try not to blush under his malicious scrutiny.

"I thought we could have dinner today after the race"

"Oh, really? I think we can request a special babysitting service from Lando and Charles... And extend our dinner to the room, what do you think?"

"Excellent! We can make things better then" I suggest, playing with the zipper on his suit.

"And how do you intend to make things better, mi cielo?" He asks quietly, and suddenly everything around us disappears, leaving just the two of us there. The air becomes thicker and my breathing is heavy with anticipation.

"A bet, if you win the race, I'm in your hands, otherwise, you'll be under my yoke, what do you think?" I suggest softly, he laughs, running his tongue over his lips as he stares at me.

"I'm in, and I'm prepared mi amor, because I'm going to be at the highest place on the podium today" He assures me and kisses me, the team calls him to run, I find Alex and Cleo in the corner of the garage, both playing with one of his kittens.

"Come on baby, let's let Uncle Alex run" I pick Cleo up and she whimpers, wanting to keep playing with the puppy. "then we play with the kitten, love, I promise" I say to to comfort her, Alex promises to leave the kitten with Cleo later. The two drivers prepare for the race and I decide to watch from Carlos' room. Cleo is not used to the noise of the cars and I don't want it to become a nuisance for her.

The whole race is full of unforeseen events and surprises, no one is really expecting Williams to perform well, but Carlos and Alex are getting everything they can out of the car, putting pressure on Lewis and Lando in the first positions, the last laps literally become a game of musical chairs, the four exchange risky overtakes, the last lap is marked by an interesting exchange and Carlos takes first place, with Lewis in second and Alex in third. Cleo and I celebrated in the pilot room until we were taken to the garage, When Carlos arrives, he is euphoric and celebrates with the team, I love seeing his joy, how well he is with Williams. He comes to us and picks Cleo up, throwing her in the air and making her laugh. I'm taken by surprise when he kisses me, amidst applause and screams from the team.

"Thank you, thank you for everything, mi amor, I love you, I love our family"

"I love you, chilli, and I know Cleo does too" I respond, leaving my face close to his and kissing him again. I never thought that my life would have such a huge turnaround and that I would end up here, once again in love with my best friend and, on top of that, being reciprocated by him. I thank each and every entity that has guided me to this moment, I thank my incredible partner, my perfect family and our wonderful family.

I watch Carlos go get his trophy, he refuses to leave Cleo in the garage and she loves being in the middle of the mess.

And I love seeing them.

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[froznwater]

im so sorry this is incredibly random but if i dont write alenoah i WILL die but i cant think of anything to write. do u have any simple ideas. ignore if not

HI!!! tysm for your ask <3 i hope you can find something to write amongst all the ideas. These are a bunch of ideas have written down in my notes/google drive/tumblr posts and have not got gotten around to. I still might at some point in time but feel free to use them. I will still do my own take if I get the time/motivation. There's simply so many, why not share and inspire some fics :)

----

General ideas:

Noah knows/learns spanish. Bonus points if Alejandro isn't aware until the perfect moment.

Alejandro thinks he can get away with flirting with Noah in spanish. Noah starts shit talking in spanish. Noah learns so he can hear all the little comments Alejandro keeps making under his breath. etc. so many possibilities.

Now that the show is over and Noah's off to college, he realizes he’s missing something in his life. Maybe it’s his friends, maybe it’s a lack of ever-looming danger, OR maybe it’s Alejandro. Who fucking knows. He’s too busy trying not to be in love with Alejandro to figure it out. 

Their group project is failing, horribly. There’s one thing Noah knows for certain: Alejandro's to blame. At what point does slippery eel turn into a term of endearment?

They have never ever fallen asleep next to each other. Let alone in each other's arms. Never.

Time loop where Alejandro is stuck on the episode where Noah gets voted out and sticks himself to falling in love because he can’t let go of his pride long enough to simply let Noah stay in the game and move on.

Noah loses his contacts and starts wearing his glasses more often. Alejandro notices. Everyone notices Alejandro notices.

Alejandro and Noah team up to get their friends together (insert whatever ship you like) and end up together in the process/the other two were trying to do the same thing for them.

A commentary timeline on how Alejandro's charisma turn into exploitation, how Noah's patience turned into indifference, and how they parallel each other. (I've written a few hundred words for this one lol.)

Each thinks the other doesn't like them. Cut to third party POV that watches and witnesses them completely a mess for each other.

Noah, once voted out in I See London, learns about Alejandro's family. Who have been very vocal since the show started airing.

Exploration of how Alejandro tries really really hard. Yes, He's at the top of the class, but so is Noah. Noah who sleeps through classes and doesn't turn in homework and shows up late or simply not at all and is still right up there with him.

“I would kill to be like you. To just absorb all the information fed to me. If I were you I might actually- “(beat my brother) “Might actually what?” “I told you. I don’t want to talk about it, Noah.” - "Do you know how long I studied for that test? Hours. And you- You got a 96 with no effort at all." It was a 98. But this seems like a bad time to correct him.

Dialogue one-liners prompts i've written down:

"If we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you."

“Why do I feel like I cant say no to you?”

"I know you don't actually care about me, but thank you for trying to pretend that you do." (Said by Noah is joking. Said by Alejandro is bitter.)

"You can't win against someone who has nothing to lose."(Alejandro OR Noah angst.)

Soulmate aus:

My big two: Telepathy/Mentally linked.(imagine this one as a wt rewrite omg) And Whatever you draw on yourself shows up on your soulmate. Matching tattoos.

First words on each other. (I've done this one already here. but feel free to do it as well!!)

Communicating through dreams. (If you know cardcaptor sakura; like that.)

General AUs:

Until dawn AU.

Gakuen Alice AU.

My Babysitters A Vampire AU. Zombie Apoc AU.

Harry Potter AU. Reality Dating Show AU.

Infinity Train AU!!!!!!

Veronica Mars AU!!!! (i wanna do this one ALOT noah is sooo veronica LMAO) OBLIGATORY IDEAS:

seven minutes in heaven.

wrong number.

trapped in a closet.

movie night. noah is sitting under alejandro and lol they are physically, platonically touching for awhile. (leads to finally getting together).

one gets injured, the other fixes them up in the nurses office :P.

short "prompt-ishs" i've started writing:

“What the hell is your problem, Alejandro?” And this time, the tone was so disgusted, so bitter, that something snapped, deep in Alejandro’s chest.

Fuck it.

“What’s my problem?” He asked, incredulous. “What’s my problem? You’ve got to be kidding me, Courtney. I almost died. I almost died, paralyzed and alone, and the only friend I thought I had didn’t give a single shit! The only person who cared was Noah, of all people. I quite literally come back to life and the only thing you can do is whine about your girlfriend problems.”

Courtney takes a step back.

“I was stuck in a robot for months, my legs barely work, my family moved on- actually, I don’t know if they ever actually even noticed,” He laughs, broken, “- and you have the audacity to ask me what my problem is?!”

Alejandro is over playing nice. He’s had enough.

-

this one is a rivals team up to get out courtney blurb

little idea about Alejandro getting into zodiacs.

moments where alejandro questions why Noah is so attractive

-

SEND MORE ASKS IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ON ANY OF THESE IDEAS!!! / IF THEY HAVE ANY IDEAS OR CONCEPTS TO ADD OR EXPAND ON :)))

[literary-motif]

Time Stands Still

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: insomnia, talk of guns

Isaac suffers from insomnia.

Your heartfelt chuckle sounded through the bedroom unprompted, the vibrations of your chest reverberating against Isaac’s side. “I just remembered what I dreamed about last night,” you said, smiling to yourself. 

Isaac hummed, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling your unmistakable scent. The comfort you gave him made his heart ache, and he could no longer imagine lying in this bed, living in this house without you by his side. “Oh?” he answered in a breath, curious to hear about your dream.

“Well, I was lying in bed with you, but it was somehow made of clouds,” you answered, tilting your head to look up at him and shooting him a beaming smile, “and we were floating over the city until we somehow reached England. Then we got dinner at the Rizz and took a walk in St. James Park. You fell asleep on my chest on the way back to the States while I looked at the stars.” 

The description of your dream made Isaac smile, but it was accompanied by the hollow feeling that much time would pass until he would be comfortable enough to take you out, let alone to London. Too much could happen. Too many people — enemies he’d made — could rip you away from him in an instant, and he knew he would not survive losing you.

“It’s silly, I know,” you said, nuzzling your face into his neck and peppering kisses along his jaw in the way you knew made him melt. “What did you dream about?” you asked absentmindedly, ready to have Isaac tell you about something absurd, like making a three-course meal out of pickles and uncooked pasta. 

He sighed, unraveling under your lips and allowing himself to relax into your touch. “I don’t remember,” he said honestly, noting your grunt of disapproval. “It’s better that way,” he added under his breath, something about the softness of the moment unwrapping the many layers of secrecy he kept around himself at all times. He had told you he trusted you countless times, but he was still working on showing it to you. 

Isaac’s admission made your ears perk up, halting you mid-kiss for a moment. Patiently, you waited for him to continue.

Taking a deep breath, Isaac fought the instinct to draw up his walls again and tense. He trusted you, he did, but being vulnerable was still a novelty to him and no matter how much he wanted to lay his should bare before you, he could was still not entirely comfortable doing so.

“When I do sleep, my dreams are always nightmares. I don’t remember any other,” he admitted softly, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he felt you raise your head, undoubtedly looking at him with a compassionate expression, “I’ve grown used to them, so don't start worrying.”

“Look at me,” you whispered, and his eyes flickered down to meet yours. “I’m sorry,” you said, caressing his cheek tenderly and leaning up to place a kiss against his lips. You wanted to comfort him, but were not sure how to go about it as he looked back at you with slight amusement in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” he murmured, running his fingers through your hair and scratching slightly against your scalp, knowing how much you liked it. “They don't bother me.” You relaxed against him, sinking deeper into his chest as his gentle touch chased away all the tension in your body.

“This feels nice,” you mumbled, shifting the covers around you to make sure they were wrapped around Isaac as well before closing your eyes, surrendering to the increasing pull of sleep. You were exhausted. The work as a private investigator, while thrilling, was also draining and extremely stressful.

On the edge of sleep, you heard Isaac’s soft voice, whispering into the secure darkness of your shared bedroom, “Now I have you to chase away my nightmares. Good night, I love you.” The brush of his lips on your forehead was the last thing you felt before drifting off to sleep, leaving Isaac behind in the realm of waking.

He couldn’t sleep. Of course he couldn't.

There was never a specific reason for it, he just couldn’t, and it was extremely aggravating to have Asirel take a single glance at the dark shadows beneath his eyes and ‘tsk’ him, commanding him to take better care of himself or else. As if he wasn’t trying to. 

As if he hadn’t tried everything already and then some to fight off whatever spell of wakefulness was put on him as the world around him slept. It wasn’t fair, but he had resigned himself to his fate long ago after one too many times of trying whispered remedies and magic cures that were supposed to work without fail, trust me.

They never did, and he was tired of searching for them, instead keeping his tired eyes open, staring into the darkness surrounding him until the first rays of the golden morning sun illuminated the bedroom, his thoughts going haywire through the silent night. 

After lying in bed for one, two hours, he used to get up and just return to his study to work through the dull paperwork he had put off during the day with the quiet hope that it would bore him enough to fall asleep at his desk late at night. He never managed to fall asleep, but at least he got some work done.

That had become impossible to do since you began sharing his bed, using him as a pillow to keep your own nightmares at bay. You had told him that his presence made you feel safe, that the sound of his heartbeat calmed you down, and that the feeling of his arms around you had a fuzzy feeling settling in your chest, making you feel warm. He did not dare to shift away, nor loosen his secure embrace around you. 

No, you were much too precious for him to let go of.

It did not help that in the dead of night, every strange noise sounded more threatening to his sleep-deprived brain than it would have been during the day. Everything felt like a threat, an imminent attack. Isaac perked up at every little noise come three o’clock in the morning, too tired to keep up the reasoning that his house was safe. He had bulletproof glass, for god’s sake. 

That did not convince him though, and he spent every moment listening, waiting for the tell-tale sound of someone picking the high-security lock or smashing the windows that would halt a bullet in its path, breaking into his home. What would he do?

How fast could the intruders ascend the stairs? How much time would he have to reach for the gun in his bedside drawer? What if he didn’t notice? What if they were just too quiet for him to realize what was going on, understanding only dawning when they swung open the bedroom door? How much time would it take for him to push you away from the path of a flying bullet? He would fail. 

The thought made him shiver, arms tightening around you. Isaac inhaled deeply, counting the seconds before exhaling, hoping that you could not feel his heart hammering almost painfully against his ribcage. Slowly, adamant not to wake you, he reached toward the bedside table, needing to check the security cameras. 

He would spend hours staring at the screen, needing to be certain that there was nobody there, needing to make sure that you were safe with him.

In the morning, you awoke to Isaac’s arms still wrapped around you, the display showing the security cameras resting in his limp hand. You could not help but sigh, placing it back on the bedside table and intertwining your fingers with his instead. 

Not daring to get up, lest you should wake him from the sleep he so rarely got, you settled on gazing at his expression. Isaac’s brows were furrowed, evidence of the nightmare plaguing him, and you traced a feather-light touch across his brow to smooth out his frown. 

Seeing the shadows on his face made your heart ache, wishing he could catch at least a few hours of precious, restful sleep. You shifted slowly, placing a soft kiss under his tired eyes. "I wish I truly could chase away your nightmares," you whispered.

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Blond Sweetheart Tourney: Round 3, Poll 13

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Laios Touden

He cares about his sister so much he was willing to solo a red dragon to rescue her. He doesn't care about money, power, or fame, he just wants to help his sister and learn about monsters. He might seem weird and offputting, but his deepest desire is to find a way for people and monsters to live in peace together to make life better for everyone. One of his biggest faults is he assumes the best of everyone.

Laios is already winning, but I'd like to point out that he's kind despite the fact that pretty much everyone (sometimes including his own party!) treat him with suspicion or outright hostility? It's not just Shuro and Kabru; it's everyone who contemplates what he might do as Lord of the Dungeon, the village kids when he was growing up, Chilchuck repeatedly treating him as an outright threat. Everyone hates Laios, but he doesn't sink to their level.

Louis James Moriarty

Devoted to a fault. Burned his face to prove his loyalty to his brothers. Tries extremely hard to keep not one but *two* mansions in pristine, clean condition with no household staff (well, a gardener an a colonel who dirtiest the London house and will not do chores) because he knows that Albert's OCD requires cleanliness and because it's something "useful" he can do. All he wants is to be useful. Louis is a sweetheart and deserves to be loved forever.

He's exceptionally caring towards his brothers and his "found family"

Louis was a young, orphan boy with a heart condition. Louis lived in an orphanage whose money had been slightly mismanaged and who was rationing food to the kids. A different kid noticed the lack of food, and was still hungry after devouring their plate. They wanted seconds, but there were none. And Louis gave them his plate. His plate of firsts. He didn't even He downplays his literal heart condition so as to not cause his brother, Will, too much worry. He doesn't ask for treatment, or a better lot in life, or anything. He asks to not be left alone. More than anything, that's all he is afraid of: being left alone, even after he lives through surgery as a Victorian child and gets better. So, vote Louis, don't leave him alone. He has us, his fans. Who I am sure he can't even process that we exist, because he's always seeing the good qualities of others instead of himself, and he, like William, deserves our love as well.

VOTE LOUIS‼️‼️ He deserves to go far after his brother got absolutely sweeped 💀

Louis James Moriarty is SO incredibly kind and sweet. He constantly goes out of his way to take care of his brothers. As mentioned in the propaganda, Louis keeps TWO mansions clean for his brother Albert. Louis consistently shows care for his brother William as well. William has fainting spells and falls asleep at random times. Louis is ALWAYS there to make sure that William is okay and taken care of while he's asleep. Louis and William lived on the street for some amount of time as orphans, and during this time, Louis would have to watch over William while he had a sleeping spell. Louis went out of his way to interact with a man that he hates to keep his brother safe. He is so sweet and kind. He constantly goes out of his way for others, especially for his siblings!!

louis, on the other hand, is devoted greatly to his brothers, a great cook, might seem indifferent at times but is actually very sweet. he has had great character development and has gone from living as his brother's shadow to actually living for himself. he keeps two mansions clean because he knows his eldest brother feels frustrated in a disorganised place, is practically the scabbard for the two brothers if one's a shield and the other a sword. see the scar on his face? that's something he willingly did to himself so he could prove his undying loyalty to his brothers and their cause. he must have gone through and felt huge amounts of pain and grief since one brother was allegedly dead and the other was imprisoned. yet he moved on forward with the best of his abilities even though i'm sure he wanted nothing more than to breakdown at times. so, yeah. vote for louis.

[live-laugh-lenney]

No bc george would be soooooo insanely protective over his baby girl, please do a story about george being sooo protective over his little baby girl ❤️❤️

oh, absolutely!

george adores her.

and he never thought he'd love anyone as much as he loved yn... until his little girl came into the world, with a healthy set of lungs on her, in the early hours of a friday morning. he felt his heart double in size at the sight of his girlfriend holding their newborn baby, in a hospital bed on the midwifery floor of a hospital located in just outside of the centre of london, and it was a sight he never wanted to forget.

from the moment they brought her home, snoozing in her carseat and tucked beneath a blanket with her name stitched into the corner, he was careful with everything he did; from the way he held her, to the way he laid her to sleep in her cot, to the way he picked her up, to the way he fed her. he kept a watchful eye on everyone that held her to make sure they held her correctly, informing them when he wasn't happy with how her head wasn't being supported correctly or how they were being too loud around her, and he was always very weary about those wanting to get a peek at her when they were out in the city of london... he wanted to keep her safe, wanted her to be okay, and his dad instincts were in full swing as soon as they were allowed home with her.

so when she got to the age where she was walking and, just about, talking... he was even more watchful than ever. especially when her favourite people were over.

for her second birthday, they threw her a mini birthday party in their back garden. with food, drinks and enough toys and games to keep everyone entertained and happy, and the weather managed to hold out for them, making it the most perfect day to celebrate.

"please don't throw her around like last time," george warns arthur as he stood there with his hands held up in surrender, "and don't claim you can't remember a thing. she had a big egg on her head for over a week."

"that wasn't strictly my fault," arthur insists and george rolls his eyes, "it wasn't! honest."

"george, leave him alone, for goodness sake. i'm sure he's still a bit traumatised by what happened," yn states, rounding the corner with their little girl on her hip and watching as her face lit up from where arthur was standing in the entryway of their home, "who's that, sweet girl? is that uncle television?"

"i really need a new nickname," arthur says, reaching forward and taking the toddler from her mother's hip which allowed yn the chance to move around much more easily, taking the extra weight from her side, "hello, mini clarkey."

"everyone's already here, in the garden, grab a chair from the dining room because we don't have enough out there," george closes the door as the three of them make their way through the house, aromas of meat cooking as well as spices and the smell of a barbecue filling the air, "don't go mucking around on the bouncy castle with her, too. yn insisted we had it for her birthday but i'm not so sure."

"a bouncy castle? that's a nightmare waiting to happen with us lot in the garden," arthur cackles and yn smirks in his direction, "get a few drinks in us and we'll be having more fun than the birthday girl."

george disappears into the garden, leaving yn and arthur standing in the kitchen, the toddler on his hip playing with the collar of his shirt as she wriggled on his hip.

"just ignore him, he's just being protective over her. another year has flown by."

"i'm not called funcle for nothing," arthur laughs and digs his fingers into the little girl's side, laughing when she giggled back at him, "shall we go play in the garden?"

"food will be ready soon, don't wear her out too much otherwise she'll fall asleep in her dinner."

"like father, like daughter," arthur jokes and yn snickers at him, "if you need help, give me a shout." xx

[lovelytsunoda]

emergency contact // mercedes ( ii )

summary: in the sequel to 'you're on your own kid', y/n makes the first step in breaking out of her shell and overcoming her anxiety by attending her first race with the mercedes team. unfortunately for her, all it takes is four hours and a few text messages with a certain f2 driver to make things all come crashing down again.

things that i want, this happily ever after, you choke on your words just to swallow them after, asleep on the couch while you're passed out in the back, i just want you to be my emergency contact

pairing: platonic! mercedes amg f1 x reader, brief liam lawson x reader (unrequited)

warnings:anxiety and loneliness, fear of dying alone. unrequited love & miscommunication between liam and y/n, this one drags the f2 idiots into this disaster, heavy drinking

author's note: all i have to say is i'm sorry for inflicting emotional pain on you guys through this series, because it's totally becoming a series: merc helping baby intern navigate being an adult.writing fics on tumblr is cheaper than going to therapy and makes me feel better than going to therapy does. that's a joke, by the way.

breathe, y/n. just breathe

that's the mantra that she repeats to herself as she walks into the paddock, watching the frantically moving figures scramble around in front of her. it was overwhelming, the atmosphere like something that she had never experienced before.

truth be told, it scared her a little bit.

"just breathe, beautiful. you're safe." angela cullen encouraged, putting a reassuring hand on the young law clerk's shoulder.

"there's a lot of people here." she laughed nervously as the pair kept walking towards the mercedes hospitality suite. "i forgot that the filthy rich fans are also allowed back here."

you don't belong here. the voice in her head was back, the one that made her want to curl back into herself. it took forever for her to get to the point where she agreed to come with the team to a race. it was just silverstone, something very much local because she was still too anxious to fly overseas. susie had thought that it would be a good way for her to get to know people within the motorsports world, a way to become more comfortable with herself and the mercedes team.

"you'll be fine." angela encouraged. "if you keep your head down and keep walking quickly, you'll be at the garage before you know it."

most of the week leading up to silverstone had been spent with nyck, susie and angela, as george, toto and lewis were so busy getting race-ready. they'd done a day in london all as a team, a film camera sitting in her backpack was filled with pictures of her and the drivers doing all of the cheesy touristy things.

it had been the best week of her life.

but she knew that once it was over, it was back to normalcy. back to frozen tesco pizza and reruns of 'benidorm'. of course, her life had improved vastly since lewis and george had welcomed her into the group. she's started having monthly girls nights with susie and angela, and sometimes naomi schiff came along as well. they'd get their nails done and go out for dinner and drinks. it got y/n out of the house, and it made her feel like she was a part of something.

this was a feeling she had been chasing since she graduated high school.

a feeling that almost made the pain of watching all of her old friends move on with their lives: getting boyfriends and girlfriends, moving in with their partners, going out every other night with their large friend groups, and even getting married.

and it really hurt her to watch, knowing that everyone else was moving on but she was still stuck in the same place.

really, she just wanted to be loved.

"hey, kiddo!" toto waved to her as she and angela went into the garage.

the austrian had become a proper substitute for her father now that she was living on her own. all that toto wanted was for y/n to feel secure and comfortable with her job at the team. he was constantly making sure that she felt included, sometimes letting her in on things that not even the lawyers got to see just yet. despite his imposing appearance and his brash attitude, he was a big softie.

"hey, toto." she exhaled a breath, leaning in to give the team principal a hug. "thanks for inviting me along, really."

"anytime. hopefully this has been a good week for you, and maybe you'll consider coming to some of the races that are further from home, a little more outside of that comfort zone of yours?"

"i hope so too." she smiled sadly. "where do you need me today?"

"it's qualifying today, so we need all hands on deck. we've been struggling a little with pace this weekend, but i think we have a shot at the front row." toto began, passing y/n a set of headphones. "usually the crew who aren't needed during the qualifying brackets hang out in the back. i think george's girlfriend is back there too, if you'd feel more comfortable around carmen."

"thank you, toto. really, i don't think i can say it enough." y/n gushed, twirling the cord for the headphones around her ring finger.

toto smiled. "any time, kid."

she walked to the back corner of the garage, talking to some of the engineers and a few of the pit crew members on her way. the crew had welcomed her with open arms. she couldn't remember a time when she had felt more loved, but the void was still there.

she ached to be loved romantically. to be understood, treasured. for another person to want to spent the rest of his life by her side. to one day get dressed up in a nice white dress, and walk down the aisle in an old cathedral or a castle or a library and officially spend the rest of her life with someone she loved by her side.

"good luck out there, lewis." she tried to push the usual existential crisis out of her mind, giving the right-time world champion a tight hug before moving on to george, who could drape his whole lanky body over her if he tried. "you too, russell george. go kick some red bull ass, yeah?"

"you can bet we'll try!" george laughed.

"hey, if you get overwhelmed at all, the back door is right there." lewis said softly, nodding his head in the direction of a heavy metal door hidden in the wall, a fluorescent exit sign posted above.

"as long as you stick with carmen, you'll be in good hands." george agreed. "just stay within your comfort zone, don't push yourself too much."

"that was the plan. being here is out of the comfort zone enough. good luck, guys." she said again, moving to stand next to carmen montero in the back of the garage.

whenever she went to events where susie wasn't around and the drivers were busy, she always found herself gravitating towards carmen. she barely knew george's girlfriend except for the fact that carmen was normal and hardworking just like she was and that this world as as new to carmen as it was to y/n.

the first qualifying session ended, and the cars returned to the garages while the commentators reset the clock. the merc garage was suddenly a hub of activity, and y/n couldn't help but notice how her anxiety was spiking as she took off the headphones and reached for her purse.

"everything okay?" carmen asked softly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

y/n nodded. "just need some breathing room. i'm going to run and get a hot chocolate from hospitality. do you want anything?"

carmen shook her head. "don't worry about me, love."

y/n slipped out of the garage through the back door, pulling her aviator sunglasses over her eyes against the british sun. there was a slight breeze in the paddock that had her pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her knuckles. the paddock was calmer now, save for the five drivers who hadn't made it through to q2 hanging their heads as they made their way back to their hospitality suites.

"hi, y/n!" alexander albon waved, a bright smile on his face. she'd only ever met alex once or twice, because the williams driver was so close with george. but alex had welcomed her immediately.

"hey, alex. it's a pity about q1."

"eh, i drive a williams." alex shrugged. "what can you do?"

as alexander headed back towards the williams garage, y/n headed towards the hot chocolate vendor, lining up behind mechanics and engineers, hospitality workers and pr reps who were trying to warm up from the cold. though the calendar declared that it should have been the summer, it felt like the spring, a damp kind of cold seeping into everybody's bones.

as she walked back to the garage with a paper cup warming her hands, she stopped to talk to a group of boys sitting on a patio table near the mercedes hospitality suite after frederik vesti waved her over.

fred had driven in f2 that morning, a qualifying that saw him starting in the middle of the pack.

"oi, fred, don't you have a debreif to be at?" y/n joked, playfully pushing him in the side as she took a seat next to him at the table.

"oh, fuck off." the junior driver laughed. "y/n, this is dennis, liam, clement, marcus and jack, they're some of my mates from f2."

as the boys waved at her one by one, she knew exactly why frederik had waved her over.

he was trying to get her to make friends.

"so, what brings someone like you out to the paddock? i don't think that we've seen you 'round here before." the blond that fred had pointed out as liam spoke first.

he had a kiwi accent that made y/n's legs go weak, her heart beating faster in her chest as she nervously combed her hair behind her ear. "i work in the legal department. i don't know a lot about how things actually work around here, i just help file the paperwork for it."

"oh, so she's a smart one." clement cheered, raising his glass of sprite for a toast. "we need more people like you around here."

talking to the boys gradually became easier. it was a relief for y/n, to see that people were so thrilled about having her around, that they seemed to like her so quickly, with no strings attached. people who wouldn't expect anything from her, but just enjoyed talking to her.

it felt amazing to be appreciated, to be liked by people who weren't obligated to.

"i should head back. q2 is almost over, and i should see if toto needs me." she said, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the laughter from one of clement's jokes. "but this has been really great, guys. really."

"what's your instagram?" marcus asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "we'll put you in the group chat." he passed her the phone, not missing the way that her face lit up as she searched for her own profile in the app, adding herself to marcus' f2 group chat.

"we were all going out later." liam added. "it's nothing much, just a way to decompress before the weekend starts. you're more than welcome to join us, if you wanted to."

"really?" she couldn't stop her face from breaking out in a grin. "i wouldn't want to trouble you guys."

"it's no trouble. i insist."

"okay. text me the details, and i'll be there."

________

the evening rolled around fast. she stood in front of the closet mirror in her room of the rented mercedes villa, running her hands over her thighs before proceeding to scrutinize the rest of her appearance in the mirror. frederik had promised to drive her, and she wanted to be ready before he threw on some cologne and grabbed his car keys from the kitchen counter.

there was a soft knock on her door, and after y/n gave permission for the person on the other side to open it, susie wolff stepped into the room.

“you look great, kiddo.” she said with a smile. “remember to have fun tonight, okay? just be yourself.”

“in the past, that hasn’t exactly worked out for me.” y/n sighed, rolling up the sleeves of her form/fitting long sleeves shirt to spray her arms with a bath and body works spray.

“and if you feel like coming home early, don’t hesitate to call me or angela, alright hon?”

y/n laughed, reaching for the small quartz necklace she had draped over the airbnb's dresser. she'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. although marcus, clement, liam and dennis seemed to like her, she was still nervous about going out with them all, being thorwn headfirst into a night out with a group of drivers that have spotty reputations.

"thanks, susie. for everything." and she truly meant it. the wolff's had been so important into making her field placement feel like home, and not just another thing she needed to do to get her diploma.

she followed susie downstairs, where frederik was talking to one of the engineers, a glass of sparkling water in his hand and a set of keys dangling from his fingers.

"ready to go?" the frenchman asked, pushing away from the counter. "marcus is wondering where we are."

"hang on, hang on." nyck de vries laughed, cutting the junior driver off midsentence. "it's baby's first night out! we need to remember this!"

the intern rolled her eyes. the entire scenario reminded her of how her parents acted when she went to prom. susie backed away and y/n attempted to pose against the cinnamon colored wall as toto got his phone out. she locked eyes with nyck behind the counter, mouthing the words 'fuck you, shortass' before going back to smiling at toto.

"have fun tonight, kiddo." lewis said with a bright smile, his voice calming her down as the seven time world champion patted her gently on the shoulder. "and please try and stop frederik from doing something stupid."

"oi!" fred shouted through laughter. "come on, we should get going before clement gets too drunk."

"don't scare the poor girl!" toto scolded. "you will be fine. and if any of them do anything you don't like, i'll have words with them."

________

the club was hazy, shrouded in purple lights. the drivers had rented out a private room in the back corner of the building. her chest felt tighter as she followed frederik, the anxiety beginning to set in.

fred reached for her hand. "you've got this. they don't bite. clem is a little feral, but if you're firm with him he'll leave you alone."

she nodded. "okay. here goes nothing."

when the door opened, she had to take a minute to take in what was happening. clement novalak and dennis hauger were doing shots at a table in the middle of the room while the rest of the f2 grid were gathered around them (save for a brazilian with a mane of hair who was sitting in the corner, making out with a girl of about twenty) chanting 'shots, shots, shots' before dennis tapped out and clement howled with victory.

oh dear lord, what am i doing here? she wondered, taking in the chaos unfolding in front of her.

"hey, dickheads!" fred shouted. "i want you to meet someone!"

activity around the table stilled, dennis and clement cheering when they say y/n.

and she'd be lying if she said that their enthusiasm didn't make her feel a little warm and fuzzy on the insides.

"woah, she's hot." a swiss guy with curls of blonde hair framing his face looked over, slurring his words slightly. he was likely the drunkest out of all of them, a vape pen sticking out of his jeans pocket.

"fuck off, ralph! she's the same age as dennis, don't make this weird." marcus laughed, stealing one of the remaining shots from dennis' side of the table.

"that's ralph boshung, he's our version of fernando alonso. he's twenty-five and he's shite, but he brings camps money." dennis laughed, throwing one tattooed arm over y/n's shoulders. "he's a dick, but he's harmless."

"pleasure." she croaked as she moved closer to the table. "now who'd everybody else?"

"right, so that's roy, logan, jehan, amaury, marino, enzo, richard, theo, ayumu, zane, calan, olli, the one in the corner there is felipe-"

that's too many people. she felt overwhelmed, but she wasn't quite sure how to tell dennis that. some of the guys she recognized from the pictures they used as their profile pictures on the group chat, and others she'd never seen before.

"do you want a shot?" clement asked, draping his body over hers as he held the small tequila glass in front of her face.

"i'm good." she said calmly, shaking her head as she sat down in the booth, taking a seat next to who she assumed was zane maloney. "i don't really drink, can't stand the taste of alchohol."

zane snorted. "smart choice. trust me, these lot do a lot of funny shit when they're drunk."

"clem is a riot when he's wine drunk. he'll start randomly speaking french, or change his accent midsentence." jehan added with a laugh. "it's so fucking funny."

the song playing outside changed, and the boys let out a cheer.

"boys, to the dance floor!" ralph yelled, pointing towards the door as he slipped his sunglasses on his face for no other reason than to try and look cool.

and suddenly the room was practically empty: a mjorty of the drivers had departed for the dance floor, felipe's woman had vanished, and suddenly there were only four of them in the room: felipe, y/n, dennis and marcus.

"you two don't usually stay behind when those idiots go to make bad decisions and piss their trainers off." felipe remarked, looking at marcus and dennis. "are you sure you're all right?"

marcus shrugged. "we don't want y/n sitting in here on her own, do we? that's not why we invited her out."

"thank you, for that. i'm not a club kind of person, in case you couldn't already notice. too many people, too many things going on. it overwhelms me."

"no worries!" dennis insisted. "trust me, you don't want to be out there right now anyways. do you want anything to drink, even just like a soda or something?"

"a sprite would be nice."

"get the woman a sprite!" felipe shouted, shoving the two other driver's out of the booth. "go on, what are you lads here for?"

they all laughed as marcus and dennis fought over who would have the horror of walking over to the bar and ordering the soft drink. dennis ended up losing, the norwegian cursing jokingly at marcus before he slipped out of the room, music still shaking the drywal.

all throughout the night, the drivers seemed to rotate staying with y/n, keeping her company or splitting a plate of fries with her. they all genuinely seemed like nice people and she was almost glad that she had let frederik convince her that coming out tonight was a good idea.

"you should dance!" liam insisted, stealing the last greasy french fry from the ceramic plate. "come on, what are you so scared of?"

"uh, making a fool out of myself? ending up on a formula two gossip page? or worse, a wags page where the comments section get into fights with each other trying to figure out which one of you idiots i was here with in the first place and who i went home with or who i had a threesome with?"

liam cackled. "does your brain ever slow down?"

"not at all." she answered, dead serious. her brain was a very scary place to be.

"come on, get out of your head for a little bit. you only live once, baby merc."

y/n grinned, hoping that the dim lights did something to hide the blush on her face. "baby merc? did frederik tell you that toto calls me that?"

"he might have mentioned it." liam grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "so, what do you say?"

y/n shook her head, crossing her arms before leaning back in her seat. "i don't even like this kind of music."

liam raised an eyebrow. "that can be easily fixed."

she was about to say something back when she finally recognized one of the songs on the stereo. when 'spice up your life' by the spice girls started to play, she couldn't stop her face from breaking into a grin.

"come on now, you have to dance!" liam insisted as the door slid open and clement novalak came in, sashaying his hips as he walked up to the tables.

"it's the spice girls!" the frenchman shouted. "you are legally obligated to dance, baby merc!"

with both clement and liam trying to convince her, there wasn't any fight left to try and talk them, or herself, out of it. "fine. you guys get one song. one."

she said one song, but the way she felt when she finally got out there, dancing with the group of boys, singing the spice girls at the top of their lungs as liam took her by the hand. she felt alive, a smile threatening to tear her skin apart.

she took out her phone, swiveling the camera to face them all as they screamed the chorus, the boys drunk and sweaty and rambunctious, a glow over her skin that she didn't recognize.

the glow of confidence and contentment.

________

when she and fred got back to the villa, she felt giddy as she ran back up the stairs to her room, kicking off her shoes and flopping back on the bed, clutching the cool screen of her phone to her chest.

while she felt this high, like she was walking on air, there was something she needed to do.

to liam: hey liam! big thanks for inviting me out with you guys tonight. i had an incredible time and it was nice getting to know you. i was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together for a coffee or something during a race weekend?

she pressed send with her eyes screwed shut. it was the riskiest text she could remember sending. she dropped the phone, getting back to her feet and busying herself while she waited for liam to text her back, stopping her hands from shaking from worry.

she changed out of her clubbing clothes, dressing in flannel pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt for a band that she went to see when she was in her freshman year of high school.

oh how things had changed for her since then. she should be proud of herself, she knew. but some days she didn't feel like she had moved on from that stuffy london secondary school.

her phone vibrated on the bed, and she braced herself for the worst, even as she lunged faster than the speed of light to grasp the device in her hands.

and then she felt her stomach drop, the bad feeling spreading through her bones as she felt like she couldn't support her body weight on her own any more.

rejection.

from liam: heyyyyyy.....i had a great time with you today as well, and you seem like a really nice person, and i really hate to be the one to burst your bubble like this, but i'm already seeing someone. her name is olivia, i met her back in new zealand.

she was now three for three, and more concerned that she was going to die alone than ever.

______

"she's been out there a while." george russell said slowly, nodding his head in the direction of the back dec. it was dark outside, the stars visible above the trees. "frederik, what happened when you guys were out? who do we have to hurt?"

fred shook his head. "i have no idea. she was having a great time, dancing with liam and clement. the boys were tripping over each other to talk to her, make her feel welcome. whatever happened must have happened after we came back."

the mercedes drivers looked out the patio door again, hearts aching at the sight of y/n leaning over the deck railing, a sad and despondent expression on her face.

"i'm going to go and talk to her." lewis said, getting to his feet and sliding the door open.

his heart ached for the girl who so badly wanted to leave her mark on the world. the girl who was scared of dying alone at such a young age, scared she'd never be loved or treasured. scared that she would be alone for the rest of her life, that everything was simply temporary.

"y/n, are you alright?"

"he's seeing someone else. i finally thought i had a fucking chance to be loved, and he's seeing someone else." her voice broke, a single salty tear beginning to make it's track down the pale expanse of her skin. and as that first one fell, more and more followed. "am i unlovable, lewis?"

and that's when lewis felt his heart break. y/n was too young to feel the pain of the world, the pain of heartache. he knew what it was like to bleed love into the world and not get enough back. to still feel that void inside of you.

"don't say that, love. you are not unlovable. he just wasn't the right person for you. do you want to talk about it?"

"not really."

"that's fine." he was standing next to her now, looking out at the backyard and the trees. y/n looked so small, hiding behind the old concert shirt that was four sizes too big, but that she had bought that way because she was already paying too much for it, so it might as well last her four or five years of growth.

"but know that this is not a reflection on you. this is all on him. and you put yourself out there tonight. that must have been a massive step for you. you should be proud of yourself, even though it's hurting right now."

she caught a shadow moving behind her out of the corner of her eye, hearing the deck creak under the weight of footsteps.

"who was it?" toto wolff's voice was deep, tinged with anger that someone had decided to cross his favorite intern. the one that he thought of as family as much as he did his own three kids. in fact, he had considered introducing y/n and benedict, as they were at a similar age and he knew that she could use a friend. "i don't care who he is or what driver's academy he's in, i just want to have a little chat with him."

y/n laughed, shaking her head as she pictured toto storming into the red bull garage to yell at poor liam for hurting his favorite intern. "you don't have to do that. i need to learn how to deal with these things on my own."

lewis turned his head, giving her and understanding look. "remember we're here if you need us, okay? you never have to go through something like this alone again."

"oi, is there another party that i never got invited to?" george proclaimed, making his presence known on the deck. the group laughed, remembering the day they had all met, the day they became what they were today, when y/n had been sobbing on the rocks by the factory parking lot.

"just needed a little cheering up, that's all." she said, resting her head against toto's arm. "it's been a day. too many emotions for me to handle."

she thought again about liam's text, a stab of pain ricocheting through her heart. she just had to trust that things were going to work themselves out, because sometimes that was the onyl thing that there was to do.

maybe it was time to take fate into her own hands. should she try a dating app? a speed dating event? god forbid she join a singles club.

"nyck just got out the scrabble board." george remarked off handedly. "between the four of us and carmen, i think we could kick some serious scrabble ass, don't you think?"

lewis laughed. "says the guy that only played three letter words last time we played."

"i didn't have y/n on my team." george proclaimed, placing his hands on the intern's shoulders. "she's the smart one here. so what do you say?"

y/n smiled. "deal me in. i'm gonna kick both your asses."

she'd worry about getting a boyfriend later. but for now, she had the best found family she could have ever asked for.

Tags:

@libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiamh @diorleclerc @daydreamingleclerc

[hischierswhore]

failed dates

pairing: Christian Pulisic x Reader

TW: minor cursing // disrespectful guy who doesn’t understand what ‘no’ means

You were currently sat alone at a table for two at some fancy restaurant, whose name you couldn't remember. The other people around you seemed to be occupied with their dates, reminding you that yours had once again failed miserably.

The guy you were on a date with started by flirting with you heavily, then immediately becoming belligerent when you rejected his advances. You continued on with the date, as you thought that maybe he deserved a second chance. But you couldn't have been more wrong.

Things only got worse from there, with him continuing in his attempts to persuade you to accept his advances. By the time you'd finished dinner, he was in full blown argument mode after you repeatedly rejected his advances. He clearly wasn't used to rejection, and it stung his ego a little bit.

By the time the evening was over, you felt absolutely no desire to give him another opportunity. He continued to speak some nonsense you were blocking out, but you quickly focused when you heard him say "I can't wait to have you in my bed tonight". That was your final straw.

"Excuse my language, but who the fuck do you think you are? I believe that I've made myself very clear that I don't want to sleep with you, or anything of the sort. If you can't handle this level of rejection, then I suggest you stop wasting my time." You replied, glaring back at him before getting up to leave.

"Find yourself a new ride" He spat as he walked out of the building and drove off. You mentally cursed as you realized that maybe having him drive you to the date wasn't a good idea. You sat back down, realizing you had nowhere to go. You thought about calling Uber, but you didn't necessarily feel like paying god knows how much for a ride, so you called the only person you could think of.

"Hello?" His voice was raspy on the other end of the line.

"Oh, you were asleep. Neverm-" He cut you off.

"No, I'm awake. What's up?" He attempted to make himself sound as awake as possible.

"I wanted to see if you could pick me up? My date left me stranded at that restaurant you usually go to for team dinners" You heard motion in the background as you spoke.

"I'll be there in 10" He assured you before hanging up. Ten minutes later, you heard someone calling your name. You looked around and saw that Christian, your best friend, had arrived to take you back home. He made eye contact with you and rushed over to your table.

"There you are. You ready to leave?" You nodded as he grabbed your jacket from your hands and held it for you. He held his arm out for you to hold onto as you walked back to his car, which you kindly accepted. You made your way to his car, with him opening the door for you, which was something he's done since the day the pair of you met.

As you settled into the passenger seat and he settled into the driver's seat, you felt like he had a question to ask.

"So what happened with this one?" He was used to you going on terrible dates by now, but this was the first in which you'd called him to pick you up.

"He was just so disrespectful. Kept trying to make advances towards me, which I rejected multiple times, but he wasn't getting the hint" You sighed as you leaned your head on the window, staring out into the busy London night life.

After a moment of silence, you looked over at Christian, only to find his grip on the wheel tighter than ever before.

"He definitely sounds like an asshole" He mumbled as he continued driving.

"Yeah, nothing special about him. At least I'm in better company now than I was before" You joked, always finding light in situations like this.

"I'm just glad you're okay though" He moved his other hand to yours, gently caressing the back of your hand. It was interactions like this that made you love him more than any other friend, because you knew that he genuinely cared about you.

The rest of the ride back to your apartment was silent, soft music playing in the background to fill the silence, though it was a comfortable silence.

A few minutes later, when you arrived to your apartment, you & Christian both stayed in his car for a bit longer. You sensed there was a bit of tension in the air, though you couldn’t figure out why.

“Can I ask you something?” Christian spoke up, with you letting out a quiet ‘mhm’ in response.

“Why do you keep going on these dates with such, excuse my language, shitty guys? What are you looking for in a guy that you can’t seem to find anywhere?” He looked at you and noticed you were fidgeting. You felt his eyes burning into you as you hesitated, not feeling quite ready to reveal the truth to your best friend.

“I’ve been trying to find you…” You mumbled just above a whisper, hoping he didn’t catch it.

“What was that, princess?” His hand continued to gently trace circles on the back of yours in an attempt to calm you down.

“I said I’ve been trying to find you, Chris” You sighed as you looked up to meet his eyes, though you noticed his eyebrows were raised and he had a look of confusion written across his features.

“I don’t understand”

“This whole time I’ve been trying to find someone like you. Someone who’s sweet, caring & just makes me feel comfortable in their presence. Someone who makes me laugh and allows me to be myself, but no one compares to you. I’ve been trying to find these things in someone, but you’re the only one, Chris. I never said anything because I didn’t want to mess up what we have; I can’t risk losing you” You moved your gaze back down to your lap, where your fingers went back to fidgeting.

“You could never lose me, princess. You’re stuck with me forever. Never in a million years did I think you would say that to me, but I’m glad you did. I’ve been watching you go on these failed dates and wondering when it’ll be my turn. Wondering when it’ll be my turn to show you how you deserve to be treated. And you’re telling me now that it’s always been me?” He questioned, to which you mumbled a quiet ‘yeah’.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked as you nodded.

He gently grabbed the side of your face as you brought yourself closer to him, your lips making contact as you shut your eyes, melting into the kiss. It was a rather gentle kiss, but it was soft and sweet, perfect for the moment. You felt him smile against your lips, leading you to smile as well. The kiss lasted for a while, both of you pulling away as you both needed air.

You rested your forehead against his, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment.

“I love you, Y/n” Christian whispered.

“I love you too, Chris”

~~~~

taglist

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @pianoisland @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy @pulisicsgirl @lizzypotter14 @bracedes @thoseboysinblue @swimmingismywholelife @neverinadream

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Jetlagged — Campbell Bain x Reader

(Inspired by Andy and Apirl's situation after Andy comes back from London—when Chris Pratt left Parks and Rec to film Guardians of the Galaxy—and Andy is severely jetlagged.)

Summary: Campbell has been away for a DJ competition and when he gets back he's always falling asleep which cuts the couple's time together since they don't live together.

Warning: Joke about going off of meds for sake of sex drive; Mentions of Sexual Jokes, Implied Short Reader, Implied Non-Scottish Reader

(Post-Asylum; May be connected to "Sweet Jane" or read alone; If you decided to include this in Sweet Jane, this takes place between the ending of the series and the epilogue written by me.)

1995 (Eight months since the events of Takin' Over the Asylum)

"Baaaaabe." Campbell sang as a tired Y/N walked out of her room. "I am so tired, but I didn't want to sleep until you got up, babe!"

Y/N sleepily walked to him, cupping his cheeks and kissing him on the forehead before he raised himself to his knees, pulling her in and kissing her on the lips.

He had been traveling due to his job as a disk jockey for three weeks now and was quite jetlagged.

Last night, Y/N had fallen asleep on his shoulder in the middle of Nightmare on Elm Street, a ritual to watch a horror movie with a good soundtrack or score. A horror movie so Campbell can pretend to be the brave one and comfort Y/N, which was often not the case but he insisted that it was.

Campbell had looked down at her in disbelief, "Who falls asleep during Nightmare on Elm Street!?" He exclaimed as the first victim was killed... in their sleep!

Y/N had shifted and moaned softly into his neck. He had smiled down at her lovingly, stroking her hair briefly, wrapping his arms around her and he picked her up and carried her to bed.

He didn't want to wake her up so he stayed out in the living room, watching movies for the scores and soundtracks.

"Hey, how was your night-day?" She yawned, going to make some hot chocolate for them both and to bring Campbell his morning pills.

"Fine. Been rewatching my favorite scores of your creepy horror movies. Psycho's a good film but a bad representation of mental health."

"Yeah, I know, babe. So is Fatal Attraction, Psycho, The Shining—though granted it's the hotel's influence that causes it but the movie makes it seem like mental health rather the supernatural like in the book, Halloween, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and so on."

"You're weird. I love you." He grinned.

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes.

"How was your three weeks without your Campbell?" He teased with an overconfident flirty grin on his face but his sleepiness was written all over his face. "Unbearable? Void of my amazing sense of humor? Unsatisfactory?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Quiet. Calm." She retorted blankly, despite having been in a relationship with him for ten months, they hadn't had sex yet. Campbell often made flirtatious suggestions but he was mostly kidding, on their six month anniversary (April fourth), he could tell that something was up but she became quite quiet when she was broody, so he sat her down before they went out for their dinner and asked her what was wrong and she confessed she was worried that he wasn't satisfied in the relationship because he desperately wanted to lose his virginity and that he was turning twenty that month on the sixteenth and Y/n was still hesitant due to her ex's actions upon her and Campbell swore he wouldn't actively pressure her or cheat on her and he hadn't.

"So, boring." Campbell said, starting to drift off.

"No, Cam. You need to take your pills before you mess up your pill schedule." Y/N said, hurrying to him with his pills.

"But it's so much better if I don't." He smirked, turning so he flopped on the couch and pulled Y/N on top of him, resting his hands on her thighs, he sat up, "Without them, my drive's higher."

"Campbell." Y/N said in a scolding voice.

"Come on, baby." He murmured, kissing Y/N's neck. 

Y/N pushed Campbell on his back, still straddling him as she gave him a fierce and stern look, "Campbell David Bain! You need those pills to manage your disorder. I love you and your disorder, I love you with all your flaws and quirks, I love you will all your light and all your darkness, but these," She shook the pill bottle in his face, "keep you from having manic episodes! The radio can only do so much! This is medicine! And if I find out, you stop taking them for a higher libido, I will tie you to a chair, force them into your mouth and pour water on your face until you swallow it!"

Campbell swallowed, taking stuttering short breathes, "Y/N, I totally hear you but I'm not going to lie, what you're doing right now and what you're saying," He gestured to where she was straddling him, "is really turning me on."

"Do you understand me!?" She said, loudly.

"Yes! I do. I'm sorry. Babe, you either need to stop pinning me down like this or I'm going to explode. I'm a twenty-year-old virgin for God sake." He whined out.

She sighed and sat up and he followed. He cupped her face and kissed her gently on the lips. He held out his hand and she handed him the pills. He took the recommended dosage and stuck his tongue out at the taste. Y/n giggled and pecked his lips before going to get their hot chocolate now that the milk on the stove was hot.

She brought it back and handed him his in his Radio Scotland mug. He didn't drink it yet, he just watched her sit next to him.

Then he leaned over, putting his hand to the cheek away from him to turn her head towards him and kissed her quickly but passionately on the lips. "I love you too." He said, earnestly, "With all your darkness and your damage. For all your trauma. For all that happened to you and I'm sorry you had to do it alone. As for all that will happen to you, I will be there for you every step of the way. Forever."

She leaned back and blinked at him. "Forever?"

He smiled and nodded, "Forever or as long as you'll have me."

"You need to get on my schedule for that to happen." 

"Mmm-hmm." He groaned.

 "I wish I could spend it all with you to help you stay up..." She said, she trailed off as she realized what she was insinuating. "But you can't. You have to go to your flat eventually."

"What if I don't?" He said. "What if we spent the day, moving my stuff here. So I could live here with you... you know your cousin moved out a few months ago... still no pressure to have sex. Just cuddling and when or if you're ready, I'll be here, totally, utterly, in love with you."

"You really think you can stand being around me all day?"

"I'm pretty sure I should be the one answering that question. I'm the more... er, extroverted of us two."

"I could never tire of you."

"You'll be the first, then. I annoyed my parents so much they wanted me to move all the way to Perth." He joked.

"I annoyed my parents so much they sent me to an asylum no where near where they live all because I wouldn't talk." She countered.

"Mmm. Guess, we're both just annoying." He shrugged and kissed her.

"Not to me you're not." She said against his lips.

He pulled back, "I, uh, I have like twenty-five minutes before the medicine fully kicks in. Do you want to go to my place and start packing first or do you just want to snog on this couch?"

She kissed him, pushing him slightly so they both fell on the couch, kissing, passionately.

--

They called Francine, Rosalie, and Eddie and with their help they packed up Campbell's flat while Campbell kept getting distracted and goofing off with Y/n, kissing her, hugging her, and joking around with her, distracting her from packing.

"Campbell! If you don't start taking this seriously, you won't be able to move out today!" Eddie scolded him for the fifth time in an hour.

Campbell dropped his head against Y/n's shoulder as he had his arms wrapped around her waist, behind her and whined.

Ultimately, it was Rosalie who did most of packing and Eddie and Rosalie's husband, Jim carried in the boxes while Campbell carried the smaller boxes due to him being a, as Y/n called him, "matchstick man" because he was so skinny though he declared he was the strongest man of all time, teasingly before flopping back in a chair and pulling Y/n on his lap.

"You can't get rid of me now, babe." He teased as she moved her legs over his lap and the chair arm, their foreheads touching.

"Good." She said, she stroked his floppy bangs so she could look him in his brown eyes. "And you're stuck with me now."

"Good." He grinned.

When Francine, Rosalie, Jim, and Eddie found them, Y/n had fallen asleep with Campbell in a sleepy but still awake state. He muttered goodbyes to the others before picking Y/n up again and carrying her back into her room... their room. He laid her down and laid next to her, snuggling up to her again, making her stir slightly and he gave her a peck on the lips which she sleepily reciprocated and he kissed her forehead and then her nose before pulling her closer and falling asleep. 

[actual-changeling]

202X, London, Soho, Aziraphale's bookshop

"I never noticed that one."

Crowley gives a non-committal hum, too caught up in the soft rhythm of Aziraphale's fingers carding through his hair, and pushes his face further into his soft stomach. His shirt has ridden up while he has been teetering on the edge between dreams and wakefulness, and Aziraphale has never been able to resist a patch of bare skin.

While he technically does not need to sleep, let alone nap, slow afternoons like these are a simple pleasure in themselves. Two cups of hot cocoa, his head in Aziraphale's lap while he reads one book or another, the comfort of knowing that they're safe and free in the bubble they have created. He fully intends to drift back off, his eyes fluttering shut once more, when an odd pressure on the side of his ribs catches his attention.

Twisting his head as far as it will go, he watches as Aziraphale traces a long, jagged scar running almost parallel to his spin, although several inches to the left of it. Crowley cannot feel the touch itself, there are no nerves left in the scar tissue, but he senses the gentle brush of his fingertips right next to it.

"What happened?"

He blinks up at his angel and sighs, adjusting himself; it is not a pretty story, yet he knows he won't regain his peace until Aziraphale gets his answer.

"Remember Edinburgh?"

"Of course, but I don't—oh."

The second Aziraphale realises what he is getting at, all air leaves his body, his hand stilling, and Crowley can practically taste the pity rolling off of him in waves.

"My lot don't send rude notes, angel, and doing that much good all at once, well, let's just say Beelzebub wasn't pleased."

In the silence that follows, he absently considers simply falling asleep and leaving Aziraphale with his more than shortened summary of the events that followed their night at the graveyard, but a sudden rustle of paper and fabric tells him said angel has other plans.

Now pressing both his palms against Crowley's back, Aziraphale quickly bends down to kiss his hair before asking, "Does it still hurt?"

"Aches in bad weather, but no, doesn't hurt. Stop fretting, angel, it's-"

"If you say 'fine', Crowley, I swear I will- "Yeah, yeah, I won't."

It is fine, but he swallows the end of his sentence, and allows him to send low pulses of ethereal energy into his cells, smoothing over as much of the old injury as he can. Admittedly, it does feel nice after all these decades of distant pain, although it is entirely unnecessary. Once Aziraphale is satisfied, he kisses the back of his head again and tugs down his shirt, wrapping his arms around him and ignoring his book to hold him instead.

"Do I want to know what caused it?"

Crowley hisses contently and buries his face in the warmth of his stomach.

"No, but I guess you wanna know anyway."

"If you don't mind."

Letting out his second defeated sigh of the day, he tilts his head just enough to speak.

"They do this thing where they break your wings and send you down a chute to, eh, fall, for however long they want. I refused to show 'em my wings at first, Beelzebub threatened to rip out my spine, left the scar."

It's an incredibly condensed version of events. In reality, there has been a lot of blood, screams, and torn skin, but Aziraphale is already clinging to him like the earth will swallow him whole, so he decides not to elaborate. There is nothing one can say in response to that kind of confession, and Aziraphale doesn't try. Instead, he finally continues the drag of nails along his scalp. Crowley hums and closes his eyes.

"Can I please nap now?"

"Of course, whatever you want." Aziraphale pauses, and then, because he simply always has to, continues.

"I love you, dearest."

"Love you too, angel."

[twisted-tales-told]

is there any chance you could write a part two to "i need a place to stay"? maybe it could continue on with jegulus or something? with the prompt "i feel like i can't breath?"

FUCK YEAH

Part I

Sirius hovers outside in the hallway while Regulus changes. James had hesitated before returning to bed, but Sirius insisted that he needed to talk to his brother alone.

Disastrous scenarios are running through his head as he waits. Regulus wouldn't see him lightly. When Sirius left for university, things had become...distant between them. Regulus chose to stay closer to home, attending a university their parents wanted him to go to. Sirius had been...displeased about it. Didn't understand. He still doesn't.

Eventually their communication tapered off into nothing. There was no fight, no harsh words exchanged. They were just different.

But Regulus still chose here to flee to.

Sirius is thrown out of his thoughts by the bathroom door opening. Regulus is changed into one of James' plain red t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants that were obviously from Sirius' cupboard.

"How did you even get here," Sirius finds himself blurting out.

It's the wrong thing to say, made apparent by Regulus' obvious flinch.

"Bus."

"A bus from Paris to London."

"A couple busses," Regulus shrugs. "And a faerie."

"You could have called me, I would have--I don't know, gotten you a flight."

"I didn't think you would..." Regulus frowns, staring at the floor. "It would be harder for you to turn me away if I showed up."

"And what the fuck makes you think I would have turned you away." It comes out harsh, but Sirius doesn't care. How could Regulus ever think that he's capable of doing it. After all he put up with in that house for him. "Did she hurt you," he continues, keeping his voice level and firm. "Because Regulus, I swear to god, I will--"

"It's fine," Regulus snaps, finally showing some of the fight Sirius knows is in him. "I just--I needed to get out of that house." He sounds so small when he says it, tears fight their way up, stinging the back of his eyes. He'd rather die than cry right now.

"Well," Sirius tries to form a smile instead, "that I understand."

Regulus nods, a tentative expression on his face.

"Have you eaten?" Sirius asks, trying to break some of whatever-the-fuck-it-is existing between them.

Regulus shakes his head and Sirius leads them into the kitchen. Opening the fridge he wishes he'd gone shopping when Remus asked. "James' mum dropped off a lasagne a few days ago, I think there's some left..." he says over his shoulder. "I tried to make muffins yesterday, and we all know how that--" he cuts himself off because when he looks over to Regulus, he's curled up on the couch, head on one of their throw pillows, fast asleep.

Sirius sighs and closes the fridge. He'll make pancakes in the morning for them. Instead, he wanders down the hall to the linen cupboard and pulls out a spare blanket. A deep green one that despite being ten years old is still as soft as the day he bought it.

Unceremoniously he covers Regulus' sleeping form and checks the thermostat to make sure it would be warm enough throughout the night.

He reaches for the light switch in the hall, taking one last look at his sleeping brother. "You idiot," he murmurs under his breath--it comes out more fond than he intended, and switches off the light.

Part III

[unicornbeck]

Which leads me to a question...

When in Season 3 will Crowley's glasses come off? (And 2 sub-questions: when will we, the audience see his eyes uncovered, and when will he trust Aziraphale enough to take them off again?)

As much as I love our demon's gorgeous golden orbs, one of the things I'm very much hoping for is a reliance on this established symbolism to convey what Crowley is too tongue-tied, or too wounded, to say.

If we see his eyes at all in episode one, I'd be very surprised. A little disappointed, too, although I suppose I could see an 80s-style training montage of Crowley drinking As Much As It Is Physically Possible For One Immortal Being To Consume-- but even then, I don't think he'd take his glasses off. And I don't think the angel will get a look until the second half of the season, at least.

Part of me really wants him to have stayed in London and established connections with humans or Muriel, but honestly, I think getting spectacularly dumped by the only being he's ever loved (because he finally went against every instinct and every belief about his own unworthiness that he had) would leave him feeling gutted, embarrassed, humiliated, hollowed out, carved into pieces. He won't want to be seen at all.

Given the way neither Maggie nor Nina saw either of our ineffables disappear, Nina because she was pretty swamped, and Maggie because she fell asleep, they may think that the boys ran off together. If Crowley comes back he'll be miserable fielding questions about it. I really want Nina to get him spectacularly drunk and get him talking. But I don't think he'd let a human in that far.

I think he would go on a binge, alone, and he'd spend almost all of it castigating himself for having allowed himself to believe that anything might happen with Aziraphale. He's a fucking demon, he will remind himself. He knows better than to open himself up to that level of vulnerability, that kind of hurt. He'll go to some pretty dark places, not Hell, but here on Earth. He'll see his pain as mostly his own fault, with a healthy dose of pissed-off reserved for the angel and Heaven and the Metatron. I think he'll be angrier at himself than he is at all the rest of them combined, though, and that's saying something. He'll try to drown the broken feelings with alcohol and and anger, masked by indifference.

He's faked things before. But it will leave him cold and joyless. He might try to sleep for a few years, to avoid dealing with it. Might run away for a spell to other places... But we know that nothing will solve it for him.

I kind of want Crowley to become a surfer, and to channel his self-destructive risk-taking into fighting waves in Portugal. He'd look great with surfer hair, and I can see him pretending pretty successfully that it's healed him, while inside, he'd still be a mess.

Somehow, my post that started as a thoughtful meta ended up as a suggestion for a really spectacular AU.