#He really is my sleep paralysis demon

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

**Opens Instagram while lying in bed for one last scroll for the night before going to sleep. **

THE

FIRST

THING

I

FUCKING

SEE:

I did this to myself.

[acediaedeus]

it really weirds me the fuck out when I see/read anything with blond Grimmjow… I can’t exactly explain it (like most things), but it’s just so off putting to me? Grimmjow is an asshole blue cat with a perpetual frown and that’s it, anything else is an abomination (no hate to those who bleach Grimmjow’s hair, tho, it’s just my personal preference).

I just feel like Grimmjow would hate the idea of changing something about his looks to what? fit in with the humans? don’t get him started on that bullshit, if he could, he’d leave his mask too (that’s if we’re talking gigai Grimmjow; if we’re talking human Grimmjow… then that’s a skill issue on his part). + Ichigo would definitely laugh his ass off at him (after someone convinces him that it is Grimmjow he’s looking at and not some “Urahara Kisuke-special” cosplay prank).

also, to me the hair is part of grimmichi’s charm? both having really unusual hair colours and all. and yeah, blond is still pretty fucking head-turning in Japan, but blue is next level (and Grimmjow would take it as a competition, yes).

imagine: Ichigo, who was picked on his whole life because of his orange hair, showing up to school with a blueberry haired dude and the others kinda wanna laugh and mock their duet, but Grimmjow is a Scary capital “S”™�� guy and at this point it’s easier to count the ppl Ichigo hadn’t beaten into the ground (yet), so they just keep their mouths shut.

[paul-simon-juggling]

Pleasant reminder that This Photo.

[doombringcr]

// What Moros does: crouch in front of a dying mortal and hold their hand reassuringly

What the mortal sees: eerie purple eyes staring at them unblinking, cold long fingers grabbing them against their will while they writhe in pain experiencing every emotion wendy goes through in the shining movie at once

[puppyeared]

New pathetic guy just dropped

[drazzilder]

Finally got around to finishing this. Zaheer is making pancakes, does anyone want some?  

[upbeatundertaker]

based on a sleep paralysis incident

[shepscapades]

(Yeah so… now knowing that last life is canon to the dbhc au… even tho this comic isn’t canon, hopefully this sheds a bit of light on why exactly etho maybe went. A lil crazy. Lil bit insane. Just a bit. It’s toootally not because his programming glitched over feelings of guilt and grief and got caught on eliminating threats that don’t exist anymore and making up for wrongs he can’t right anymore. Definitely not. Anyway enjoy this very plausible but Thankfully NonCanon comic saph I hate you <3)

haii!!! time to be tortured by another comic for @shepscapades DBHC AU!!

i need to point out, this scene is ✨~NONCANON~✨ to the au, and is kinda just. well i really wanted to create a hypothetical 'what if' scenario to torture shep, honestly. That scenario being, in this case, "hey, what if when Doc and X reboot etho on s9 after the moon crash and he wakes up Wrong and Angry and Bloodlusty, he gets loose on the server before they can shut him down?"

so uh. yeah ^_^ also, look below the cut for ✨fun bonus facts!!✨ (because they got too long to put in the tags)

NUMBER 1!! it got hidden by the text bubble, but in the first panel bdubs is holding his phone. this is because, well, when etho gets out, doc and x immediately start warning ppl. sending messages in chat basically saying 'etho awake, he got out of the lab, something's wrong, he's glitched, he's dangerous, if you see him tell one of us immediately, and BE CAREFUL' and bdubs, of course, processes up to "etho's awake" before dropping everything and going to look everywhere for him. because that's his buddy! etho's been down for repairs for a while he misses him!! he's going to go see his buddy!

2!! in dbh (the actual game), when an android's stress level gets too high, they pretty much start looking for a way to terminate themselves. of course, i'm sure this holds no bearing to the comic! definitely no relation with etho throwing himself into pvp as his stress level skyrockets...

and 3! there's a couple of ways this can end. either, doc and x arriving and one of them having to hold bdubs back as the other deactivates etho, or, option 2, well... at least bdubs will respawn far away and not have to watch :) i'm sure this won't be traumatizing for either of them ^_^

[astonmartinii]

ice, ice baby (literally) | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x raikkonen!reader

the ice man may have never spoken, but his daughter never shuts the fuck up

based on the request from @blue-skyandstars

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 783,409 others

yourusername: taking names and kicking asses (and getting all assignments in on time with an appropriate amount of ass licking)

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user1: i love how she is so clearly kimi's daughter

user2: the only two blondes that don't freak me out

user3: insert that paris hilton clip "can i have two more of these little blonde bitches?"

maxverstappen1: what's an appropriate amount of ass licking and can i demonstrate on you?

maxverstappen1: wait! who said that?

yourusername: in your dreams car boy

maxverstappen1: trust me i see you in my dreams all the time

yourusername: so that's why you're always in the shower when i call you in the morning....

user4: i'm new here, are they together?

yourusername: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

maxverstappen1: she's actually my sleep paralysis demon, sorry to say

user5: they're so unserious

kimiraikkonen: keep those studies up i'm paying the bills

yourusername: i promise to use my status as a nepo baby for good papa 🫡

kimiraikkonen: proud of you.

user6: we love a self aware girly

user7: the raikkonen household really is the best balance, a guy who acts like talking causes him physical pain and a girl who couldn't shut the fuck up if she tried

yourusername: no way i'd rather it be

charles_leclerc: how many versions of that shirt do you have?

yourusername: enough...

charles_leclerc: and i'm the one who is a threat to national security when i go shopping

yourusername: that trouser collection should get you on some sort of list

user8: all these f1 drivers in her likes and comments and she's not cuffed... why is she fumbling so bad

yourusername: am I fumbling or are THEY?

user9: expose the dms please

yourusername: that would not be pg13 soz!

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 1,094,556 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: oh look who decided to come back

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user10: max is so annoyed that she decided to go to school in the us that he makes all american fans lives hell by winning all the races

user11: so true of him

landonorris: matching books? you're such a simp

maxverstappen1: is a man forbidden to be in a book club? who backwards of you lando

yourusername: just because you can't read, don't take it out on us

landonorris: i can read!

yourusername: name the last book you read

yourusername: and that doesn't include searching your name on twitter

landonorris: can you go back already, you're so mean

yourusername: don't come for our two man book club if you can't handle the smoke

maxverstappen1: what she said

user12: i love how spring break starts and y/n doesn't even go to see her dad, straight to max

maxverstappen1: kimi is coming! i am NOT a bad friend who deprives y/n of her dad

user12: you're also scared of kimi

maxverstappen1: i'm also scared of kimi

danielricciardo: you're in my building and i don't get any baked goods... i see how it is

yourusername: as if max is allowed to eat them anyway they're for dad

danielricciardo: i promptly take back anything i've ever said

user13: max has got to be down bad to have that much baking equipment in his house when it's canon he can barely cook eggs

yourusername: if he wanted to he would

user14: is this confirmation?

yourusername: i hope those are paper straws you're grasping at

maxverstappen1: why wouldn't i make sure i have the equipment to get my worker bee to make me sweet treats (don't read that rupert)

user15: i'm on to you two ... there's something shady going on here

sebastianvettel

liked by kimiraikkonen, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,409 others

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sebastianvettel: she's too old, i miss when she was a nice and polite child

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user19: annual god father seb appearance

user20: y/n please work your magic to get him to a race this weekend

yourusername: i'm working on it! watch out for suzuka

user21: the people's princess truly

yourusername: rude! i am a very polite young woman 🙁

sebastianvettel: yes you are, but also when you were ten you didn't bother me with your love life

sebastianvettel: and you weren't so fussy with food

yourusername: I AM NOT FUSSY I JUST HAVE AN ACQUIRED TASTE

sebastianvettel: you asked me to uninvite lewis to our dinner plans because you "hate that quinoa shit, i'm hungry enough to kill a horse with my bare hands"

yourusername: and i'd say it again!

lewishamilton: first of all: rude. second of all: i knew there was a reason you and max get on so well - BLAND

maxverstappen1: just because my food doesn't turn my shit green or couldn't accidentally be sold in the rabbit section of the pet store doesn't make me BLAND

yourusername: i don't trust a man who makes non-alocholic tequila THE FACT IT GETS YOU DRUNK IS THE BEST PART OF THE TEQUILA ONLY WEIRDOS DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE TASTE

lewishamilton: gasp! you said you liked it!

yourusername: i try to be supportive okay :(

user22: well that was something

user23: max always coming to the rescue ... makes you think

charles_leclerc: i am sensing some blatant favouritism here

mickschumacher: i never get invited on baking weekends :(

yourusername: snooze you lose ladies

sebastianvettel: this is exactly what i mean y/n

yourusername: my bad! i'm sorry my god father loves me more than you :p get well soon

sebastianvettel: that's not-

charles_leclerc: consider yourself in beef

yourusername: it's on babe

user24: gosh i'm so confused WHO THE FUCK DO I WANT TO GET WITH HER

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, kimiraikkonen and 809,445 others

yourusername: boy, oh, boy am i ready to finish this semester

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user26: i see tulips i do deduce that they are from max verstappen 🤓👆

user27: i hate you invasive leeches (i believe this and it is now my personal headcanon)

maxverstappen1: SEAT BELT PLEASE

yourusername: i swear i did 😫

maxverstappen1: you need to protect the precious goods

landonorris: you never tell me that 🙁

maxverstappen1: you're not precious goods, hope this helps x

landonorris: i see how it is

yourusername: don't hate the player, hate the game lando

user28: they've either got the single most flirtatious friendship ever to exist or they're together

user29: if they are just friends and those flowers are from her actual gf - i am not being dramatic but i would take a long walk off a short plank

user30: i feel like they'd be the ultimate cockblocks for each other 😭

kimiraikkonen: proud of you bub

yourusername: i am losing hair from academic stress i hope you're happy papa

kimiraikkonen: i am 👍🏻

yourusername: i am losing hair - LOSING HAIR THIS IS A BIG DEAL YOU PAY FOR MY APPOINTMENTS

kimiraikkonen: you need a college education so you're not wasting all of my money - i also pay your sorority dues so be nice to me

yourusername: i'm tired let me be the low effort nepo baby i am meant to be

user31: can kimi raikkonen pay for my hair appointments too?

jensonbutton: is that MY CAR?

yourusername: you put me on the insurance?

jensonbutton: yeah for when your car was in the shop - i thought shelby was still in my garage?

yourusername: not to victim blame but having so many cars you don't notice one is gone, that's on you

jensonbutton: @KIMIRAIKKONEN YOUR KID STOLE MY CAR

yourusername: britt gave me the keys !!!!!!

kimiraikkonen: you got duped by a 21 year old, that's not my fault

user32: kimi when y/n jokes about dropping out 🤨 kimi when y/n steals one of jenson's cars 🥹

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 2,305,689 others

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maxverstappen1: ice, ice baby (except you're smoking hot)

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user35: WHOOP WHOOP LET'S FUCKING GO

user36: max already having the approval of kimi, that's my king

maxverstappen1: make no mistake i went to the raikkonen household with many offerings before i asked for his permission

user37: and if he had said no?

maxverstappen1: i would've asked y/n regardless 🫡

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: uh? i'm digging my own grave but i love your daughter so that's all the matters right? RIGHT?

kimiraikkonen: 🙄

maxverstappen1: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO USE THE KEYBOARD I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN HERE

user38: the way max got given approval on live tv with more words than we've heard from kimi at any point in his career and he's still a shaking mess

user39: anxious girl representation

yourusername: you melted this icicle

maxverstappen1: eh i think you've always been a softy

charles_leclerc: like softserve ice cream? shop @lec now!

maxverstappen1: do you fucking mind?

yourusername: really? on the post of my boyfriend professing his love?

charles_leclerc: god forbid a guy chases the bag (also he called you smoking hot, that's hardly a profession of love)

maxverstappen1: you little rat

yourusername: lifetime supply of lec and a flavour named after us and consider yourself forgiven

charles_leclerc: i don't need your approval that much

yourusername: @kimiraikkonen @sebastianvettel you seeing this shit?

charles_leclerc: fine... weaponising your dad and god father is a low blow

yourusername: also! i love you baby - thank you for putting up with my constant yapping xx

maxverstappen1: i love you even more, i can't wait for you to finish college so i never have to share you ever again

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY

yourusername: they love you really maxy don't worry

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.945,440 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm so talented, i brought three more championships to the family without even getting into the car

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user40: okay idk why yall were shipping anyone else, i've seen one picture of them being cute and am sold

user41: i'm so convinced this happened cause max saw people were convinced she was with other people on the grid and he had to mark his territory

maxverstappen1: yes i was jealous but can you blame me? prettiest girl in the world actually wanted me back. i will not fumble this

user42: i need my man to be this down bad for me

kimiraikkonen: cute.

yourusername: thank you papa xxx

maxverstappen1: THANK YOU KIMI, LOVE YOU KIMI

yourusername: i think he gets it babe...

maxverstappen1: first time i've got a non-emoji answer, i will savour it

user43: oh my i love them your honour

sebastianvettel: happy for you guys, see you guys soon

yourusername: love you seb!

maxverstappen1: thanks for the vote of confidence seb

sebastianvettel: you may be a literal nightmare child, but you're our nightmare child now

kimiraikkonen: what he said

maxverstappen1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (i am ignoring that you called me a nightmare child, i was 17 give me a break)

yourusername: you guys he's crying hahahahahah

maxverstappen1: i just love you guys (y/n more)

yourusername: i love you too xx

user44: so liked now we've got the relationship reveal... when do we get both y/n and kimi in the red bull garage

user45: lets up the stakes and get max, kimi and seb in the 24 hours of le mans

yourusername: oh now you've started it - he's already on the phone to adrian

maxverstappen1: am i the first nepotism boyfriend?

kimiraikkonen: you might be the favourite of the in-laws if you get me a le mans win

maxverstappen1: y/n is an only child? i'm the only in law?

kimiraikkonen: yes?

maxverstappen1: I'M ON THE PHONE TO ADRIAN

yourusername: did i just lose my boyf to my dad?

fin.

note: babe the writer's block is back. but i'm fighting it. hope yall enjoyed this!

[hotyanderedaddies]

Yandere Sleep Paralysis Demon Visits You Nightly

[Yandere! Sleep Paralysis Demon x GN Reader]

·゜·:.。..。.:·☆·゜·:.。..。.:·☆

You tried so hard to stay awake for as long as you could.

You even tried to look up ways to stay up online, doing tricks such as downing caffeine, jogging late at night, and even refusing to sit anywhere near your bed.

Unfortunately, you're only human and eventually you could feel the sleepiness taking over your body.

Hopefully he won't show tonight...

💤

It's dark out and the only noise that you can pick up is the slight scratching of the tree against the glass on your bedroom window. Your line out sight is directed towards the far corner of your bedroom, which is shrouded in black shadows.

But you can't move.

You can't speak.

You're trapped.

Helpless.

A cold sweat breaks out on your forehead, and your heart begins to race in your chest as you wait for it...

"Hey, Darling," a deep, gravelly voice echoes out in your small bedroom.

The black shadow in the corner of the room darkens, seemingly drawing in the rest of the shadows in the bedroom-- a pair of eerie red eyes appear.

They laser focus on you.

"Darling, I missed you," the voice says again. "I missed you so, so much." An angry growl emanates from the dark corner of the room. "Why? Why are you trying to avoid me?"

The wooden floorboards creak as he approaches the bed. Slowly, you can start to make out a tall, intimidating figure emerging from the shadows. The sleep paralysis demon who's visited you every night for the past few months stalks closer and closer to the bed.

He's angry, you fear. His red eyes are narrowed in your direction, and as he draws nearer, his large mouth is forming a snarl. It shows off the rows of dagger-sharp teeth that could easily slice your flesh if you ever piss him off.

Had you been able to move, you would've shivered at the sight of the terrifying demon.

The demon paused and frowned when he sensed your fear.

"Oh, Darling," he almost pouted, "don't be scared. Daddy won't hurt you."

He moves out of sight, but then you can feel the mattress starting to shift underneath his added weight. His body radiates an intense heat as it crawls over you. He snakes his strong arms around you and holds you closer to him.

"I'm just a little upset that my darling isn't getting enough sleep," the demon huffs, his hot breath wafting over your cheek as he speaks. His lips are pressed against you, and you can feel his facial muscles flex with every word he mutters.

Helpless, you're completely powerless as he cuddles you. He runs admiring fingers through your hair and shoves his nose into the crook of your neck, moaning loudly as he inhales your delicious scent.

"It's the only time we can see each other," he continues. "And I really missed you when you weren't sleeping. Didn't you miss me? Even a little bit?"

Of course you would've refused had you been able to answer.

"Of course you did," the demon smiles. "My darling missed me a lot. I just know it... maybe, just maybe I won't let you wake up. Then we can be together forever."

Your heart speeds up.

"Would you like that, Darling?"

You close your eyes as you try to drift off, desperate to get away from this love obsessed demon.

"I would love that very much. I love you very much, Darling. And I hate that we can't be together during the day."

He tightens his grip on you.

"Which is why it's important for you to get your sleep. If you keep trying to stay up all night, then you'll leave me no choice but to never let you wake up."

The thought is terrifying-- being trapped in your sleep paralysis with this demon cuddling up to you constantly. And all the while, you'd be helpless to do anything at all.

"I love you so much, Darling," the demon coos as he presses a kiss onto your cheek. "Sweet dreams, my love."

[spotsupstuff]

OUGHHHRHGHHHHH MY LITTLE ASSHOLE FUCKS (and bessie little angel bessie)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH THEY'RE SO PRETTY IN YOUR STYLE... watch out with cookin fish in a microwave he could explode like an egg

i am putting your little guys in my mental microwave @spotsupstuff

[ckret2]

A leaked list of some of the exciting upcoming content from The Book of Bill:

The pyramids of Giza ranked from most to least sexy.

Winning lottery numbers. He does not say which game they're for.

Three pages of Bill practicing blackletter calligraphy so that he can write the fancy-looking "The Book of Bill" on the cover. (Meant to tear those pages out before submitting book to publisher.)

A section where he implies that all your headcanons about him are stupid. Yes, your headcanons specifically. If you compare your copy of the book to a friend's, these sections will have different text. He insults all headcanons equally, even the ones that contradict each other.

A long, rambling story about a funny thing that he saw at a party in the Nightmare Realm, but he keeps getting distracted gossiping about the embarrassing love affairs and crimes against reality the partygoers have committed. Not a single one of these characters has ever been mentioned before or ever will be again. He gets so distracted he never finishes the original funny story. He was clearly drunk when he wrote this section.

A pet care sheet on how to keep a pet axolotl. All of the information is extremely wrong.

Some of the other dimensions he's tried and failed to conquer. He keeps insisting that all the failures were somebody else's fault. It's extremely obvious that they're his fault.

A photograph of a vivisected elephant, for some reason.

A phone number written on a cocktail napkin that Bill insists would be really funny for all the readers to prank call. It leads to the desk phone of the director of the CIA. 

Bill claims he definitely totally knew that Stan was disguised as Ford the whole time, he only played along to trick the Pines back, and then he quickly changes the topic.

A page of Bill's original poetry. It's all unintelligible symbols. It will take 27 years for somebody to crack the code. They're all gory but juvenile limericks.

A cocktail recipe. It will kill you.

Bill's original version of the portal blueprints that he copied to give Ford, with Bill's handwritten annotations. One part of the blueprints is labeled "component that will accidentally destroy the universe. REMEMBER NOT TO INCLUDE THIS COMPONENT IN SIXER'S COPY!!" He underlined this twice. If this page is compared to the portal blueprints in Journal 3, it's clear that Bill included that component in Ford's copy.

A personality quiz to help you meet your ideal sleep paralysis demon.

Bill's baby pictures. He looks exactly the same, except his bow tie and top hat are too big.

Bill reveals that he thought the llama symbol on the zodiac wheel referred to that farmer guy on the edge of town, and he was super confused to see Pacifica there.

Multiple pages scattered through the book about Bill's amazing powers, his brilliant and fun plans for our dimension, and all the cool favors he's willing and able to do for his friends and followers. All these pages end with a passive-aggressive aside about how somebody would have to be REALLY stupid to turn down an invitation to join Bill's crew, Stanford Pines—

A page labeled "My loyal servants and slaves!" filled with several hideous, oozing, nightmare-inducing Lovecraftian monsters, and one Mickey Mouse.

A self-portrait depicting Bill riding a rocket ship playing an electric guitar while rainbow lightning flashes all around him and money rains down from the sky.

A cynical, sneering tirade about how love is evolution's idiotic way of tricking primitive species into reproducing and how only simple-minded mortals who can't separate their true thoughts from their hormones fall for it. In the margins he's drawn a heart around the words "Bill Cipher +" a scribbled-out blot. The blot is completely unreadable. Despite this, the fandom will spend years debating the name underneath based on the size of the blot.

Extremely stupid "explanations" about various unsolved mysteries and crimes. In six years the world will discover one of them is accidentally correct and Alex Hirsch will get investigated by the FBI.

The book will be divided into four sections. Each section will begin with a big illuminated letter. In order, the four illuminated letters spell "F" "U" "C" "K".

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

rating every 'you drool when you sleep'

BOOK:

the standard literally

Reading it later on you realise that annabeth isn't some cool nonchalant girlboss like how percy saw her, she was internally prolly just like

"ok how to boy?? How to communicate to pretty boy (OMG HE HAS PRETTY EYES) that I'm an intimidating queen who should not be messed around with?? ooh yes I'll tell him that he drools ah yes I'm so slay”

And she just skipped away with "her blonde hair bouncing behind her"

and percy fell for it he was like 😯 woah she’s playing hard to get wow i should watch my drooling from now on shes so cool

and ykw she's the legend the icon and the moment we love and stan her

peak twelve year old

also kickstarted one of the best ships

Infinity/10

MOVIE

Deleted scene smh

Its so weird coming out of an adult woman's mouth, not alexandra’s fault its the writers fault (probably why it was deleted), but her line delivery makes it sound like she’s reminding percy of an office meeting later on in the day

logan’s wtf face was funny tho ill give it that

3.5/10

MUSICAL

“IVE NEVER SEEN A FACE AS BEAUTIFUL AS—“ “you drool when you sleep”

I know kristen was way too old to play annabeth just as alexandra but her voice is so high pitched she plays it off well

Peak comedy

just percy singing a ballad about this pretty angel who he feels a very good weird way about while annabeth is there like 🤨 you drool when you sleep lol

and the fact that annabeth had a reprise of that saying that percy was cute in a good weird way and i-🥺 (ik its the deluxe version that wasnt in the main musical, but its official, so its musical canon shush)

10/10 (i changed my mind)

TV SHOW

OK BUT ANNABETH BEING A SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON IS SO FUNNY

*hovering over percy as he slips in and out of consciousness in a dark room* you drool when you sleep😒

But tbh if i was a show only watcher i would be like “what is the point of this?”

But it really supports that aspect of annabeth’s character in the show that does not know any social skills so its kind of even more cuter???i guess??

9/10

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

Are you a zombie? Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.

~Dead on Main pick up lines?~

Danny fell from the ceiling trying to find a better angle of view on Hood’s butt. He gets up, shakes off the dust and opens a notebook. Reads aloud.

Danny: Are you a gravestone? Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Hood: Are you my sleep paralysis demon? ’cause I get used to seeing you every night. 

Batman: Who is he?

Hood: My trophy wife from Amity Park. Don’t ask. I’m only with him for the guns.

Danny: Hey, what about my refined sense of humor?

Hood: You think you're dead funny, don't you?

Danny: You’re right about half.

Hood: If you don’t shut up, I’m gonna be so damn right. 100% right!

Danny: So you admit I’m funny?

Hood: ..you’ll sleep on the doormat tonight.

Joker*feels uncomfortable as he is not the main clown in the room*

Batman*feels uncomfortable because he’s not ready to be a father-in-law, not just a father*

~~Next night, in one of Hood’s lairs~~

Hood: Are you the vacuum of space? Because you took my breath away.

Phantom*blushes in green*.

[jevilowo]

MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS TF2 SHIPS

For funsies

SCIENCE PARTY:

fun ship, but they're GodComplex4GodComplex and I fear that would only end in disaster

TOASTED SANDVICH:

if there is one heavypyro fan on this stupid baka planet it is me. shout out to menacing quiet individuals who like violence but have a soft side fr.

BLOODY SUIT:

literally The Original toxic yaoi rivals to lovers red blue combo ship. speeding bullet and napoleon complex fans WISH they had our shared update and corresponding voice lines

BATTING HELMET: (scout n solly)

i just think it's really funny trust me on this one guys. have you seen them in the fourth comic it's a constant "yes, and" bit between the two of them. soldier's love language is choking people out.

HIT AND A MISS: (scout n pauling)

like most ms pauling ships, i'm only into it if scout's a cool lesbian. which he is not most of the time.

RED OKTOBERFEST:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA literally the ship of all time save me heavymedic save me. if they don't smooch in the next comic i will become jay pinkerton's personal sleep paralysis demon.

SPEEDING BULLET:

my feelings on it are Complicated. twas my first love (otp) in this fandom, but the overabundance of twinky uwu scout and daddy dom snoipah has built up some resentment on my part. call me back when people stop making up imaginary life problems for sniper to comfort scout over.

NAPOLEON COMPLEX: (Spy n Engie)

literally just rarjack if they were boys and not horses to me and i'm not even an mlp fan. it's alright, just doesn't really stick out to me.

SPYMA:

LITERALLY THE POWERCOUPLE EVER TRULY A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES or at least the version that exists in my head is. i have so much made up spyma lore it's crazyyy. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with sniper it's quickly becoming my favourite genre of fanart (i have seen at maximum three)

SUPPORT SANDWICH: (spy n sniper n medic)

in my opinion, it is healthy for everyone to have at least one ship they just like bc they think it's hot. for me, that is support sandwich. not much else to say on that the fics are all banging go look them up.

SNIDOS: (sniper n GLaDOS)

hell yeah.

ADMINPAULING:

i used to like it a lot, but timelining implies ms pauling's been working for helen since her mid teens at the latest so i no longer like it. 4chan leaks my beloathed pleaseee don't make them kiss i think it would kill me in a bad way

URINE SAMPLE: (medic n sniper)

there's a lot of werewolf and vampire stuff for these two on ao3 which is pretty fun. and i'm way more likely to find sniper angst under the medicsniper tag than sb and bs which is always a plus.

FRENCH TOAST: (spyro)

have you seen that one animation where pyro gives birth to spy's child and gordon freeman is there at one point. yeahhhh. the ship's pretty cute tho spy would be sooo soft for pyro they'd light his cigarettes for him.

BOOTS AND BOMBS:

THE FORBIDDEN RED/BLU ROMANCE GOES CRAZY I ADORE IT. same team bnb is pretty banging too. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with zhanna.

SPYPAULING:

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. imagine. spy x pauling. yuri. that will be all.

SWORDVAN:

SWORDVAN MY LOVE!!! idk what it is about demo and sniper together but HELL YEAH TOP 5 SHIPS FR FR. shout out to the guy still writing monsterous intent, they're like single handedly carrying the swordvandom.

TEXAS TOAST:

I used to think "this is cute" but then my friend got really really into it and that hyped me up into "THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS OF ALL TIME" territory. bonus points if they're yuri! shout out to Technicolor California, my current favourite fanfic of all time (it overtook running blind in the interal rankings). oh yeah insert mandatory "no hate to engie and pyro father son dynamic preferers" message here lol.

Ok that's enough I will cover more at some point maybe.

[salford-blues]

My cat is a demon

A/n: I go back to Uni next week. So sad. I'm set on who to put reader with now, but I've also got a new little thing for Frederik Vesti... so if you guys would like anything for that pls let me know... cause the Vesti fanfics are scarceeeee. Pairing: F1 grid x driver!reader Summary: One of readers cats is a menace to society. Warning: none???

@yourusername

liamlawson30, oscarpiastri, logansargeant & others liked

Meet Cosmic Creepers. @ georgerussell63 thinks he's a demon in disguise, but he's really just a kooky little guy 🐈‍⬛

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georgerussel63 that thing is the only thing that scares me

> yourusername that 'thing' has a name. Be nice to cossie Georgie

liamlawson30 what is it doing??

> yourusername that was George finding out that he lost a bet

>> user.1 omg what bettttt??? tell us the bet Y/n

>>> georgerussell63 he was talking about the cat...

@yourusername

charles_leclerc, mickschumacher, frederikvestiofficial & others liked

This was Lando after Cossie bit him

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landonorris keep him away from me

> yourusername you aggravated him... he needs his space

>> maxfewtrell I think cats just don't like you mate

>>> landonorris ha... clearly

oscarpiastri bring Cossie to the races

> yourusername mayyybeee.

>> yourusername if i bring him though, then i'd have to bring all the others

>>> logansargeant bring them, bring them, bring them

>>>> liamlawson30 bring them, bring them

>>>>> landonorris you're don't even go here anymore

>>>>>> liamlawson30 wow... ruudee

yourusername fiiinnee I'll bring them...

porschef1 new mascots cofirmed?

@yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial, maxverstappen1, landonorris & others liked

He may be a menace, but he has my heart. Here's some smiley pics of my gorgeous and cute demonic cat... I know you all love him really. Who can stay mad at that face... 💙💙

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User.2 He's so cuuutteeee

User.3 Do you dress him up?

> Yourusername they all get dressed up on special holidays

>> User.3 omg all?? you have others??? show uusssssss

User.4 Photo dump pleeaasseee

maxverstappen1 does he get along with others? if yes... playdate when??

> yourusername yes annndddd next week maybe?

>> alex_albon can we join?

>>> yourusername all are welcome <33

georgerussell63 I suppose he is quite cute

> landonorris don't fall for it George... it wants you to say that. It'll lure you in and eat you

>> yourusername don't be ridiculous

>>> georgerussell63 I mean he still gives me the heebie jeebies

User.5 oop... JUMPSCARE what is that last photo???

User.6 what in the sleep paralysis demon

yourusername you're all so horrible to him :((