#He knows he can poof things into existence with his magic BUT he prefers the old fashion way UwU

[siixkiing]

Wukong loves to create, to make things with his own two hands — sure, he can construct anything he wants magically without fuss BUT he rarely will less it’s needed in the moment. Otherwise, he will make what he needs himself — constructing new huts, renovations, making pots, all that.

Making something by hand also shows a level of care and love, so when he gives a handmade gift that is his way of showing you that you mean a lot to him. That you are special to him.

[fountainpenguin]

Do you have any Hazel fics in the works?

I do, but none I expect to post for a quite a while.

I'm doing the Dimmadome story set-up first since Dale is the main bridge between Cloudlands and City Lights AUs (He and Hadley are the only characters who are the same in both AUs; everyone else, including Cosmo and Wanda, have completely different story directions - Poof and Peri are especially different due to aging differently - so Dale is really the only canon character who makes that easy bridge leap for me).

I guess Doug technically does too, but he's such a minor character that he hardly counts

I talked more about this in the City Lights AU Guide, but I'm doing the Dimmadome arc in the "50 Words" style all the way from Dale's childhood to Dev's young adult years. This builds the skeleton of the AU so we know where we came from and where we're going... very useful for my character profiles that would otherwise have spoilers; Dev's for example won't be posted until the end of this.

Then we'll circle back to fluffier things, including a multichapter called An Old Wish (Dev and Peri and their attempts to win Dale's love with magic), plus separate stories for the Wells family, Hazel, and her friends.

I do also have space in the 130 Prompts for her (specifically, after the next two prompts on our list), and I've loosely planned to include her there, but no promises. [Non-Cloudlands AU, obviously]

I'm doing it this way so I can outline Dimmadelphia founder history (via Dimmadome family) so I know my setting well, and I'd like to know if we're getting a Season 2 before I do much with Hazel. Due to the existence of my OC Hadley and my pre-established plan to have her marry Dale, the Dimmadome content was going to be AU from A New Wish no matter what.

With the Wells family, I might hold out until we know more about Hazel's extended family (Ex: cousins and grandparents) before I do things like make the Wells family tree. If we don't get a Season 2, I have free reign with those things, and if we do get a Season 2, then I can consider what pace I want to go.

- I don't mind populating her family with my own OCs, but I don't write many standalone one-offs; I prefer multiple works that build on each other in a single consistent canon. I want to be thoughtful about what I "lock myself into" writing for the next however many years of my life.

So, that's where I'm at. I'd like to do a pre-Dimmadelphia story for Hazel about her life before she moved... which is a topic I think Season 2 might explore.

We know she came from "the suburbs," but if they reveal she had a best friend she left behind, I'd rather write the canon character than make up one. Canon character tags will help more people find the story, and I might genuinely like the characters from her past (if any), so I don't want to spend my time and energy there while canon's ongoing.

I do have a Wells family draft I worked on during October. It's Angela-centric, focusing on her and Marcus during Hazel's early years. That said, it's a little too personal to me and I don't feel comfortable posting it to the public. Honestly, I may not ever share this one, and that's fine- I write for me.

I have several Hazel AU thoughts that I don't want to share yet because the outlines are rough (and might be scrapped), and I don't want to build false hype. I'm more likely to post these Hazel AU ideas - i.e. things that go in the Off the Rails series (for misc. AUs) - than I am to post Hazel-centric works in City Lights AU right now.

On the topic of Hazel, I did have someone ask a while ago why I used Dev and his parents as the cover image for City Lights AU and not Hazel. I did that because:

- I'd already drawn Hazel as the cover image character for the Off the Rails series, so I wanted to draw someone different (Same reason I used Cavatina and Anti-Wanda in the 130 Prompts cover instead of H.P. and Anti-Cosmo to represent Pixie and Anti-Fairy stories, because H.P. and A.C. are the cover characters for Origin and Knots). - I wanted three character pictures for the image so I could use red, yellow, and green blob backgrounds to mimic traffic lights (to fit the city theme). - There will be many Dimmadome works early, with Hazel works posted later. Dev and his parents felt more applicable than Hazel on that particular image. - My OC Hadley marries Dale, and this is something unique to my AU. City Lights doesn't have a special world-bending characteristic, so having an OC on the image may help people identify this AU better than Hazel alone.

I've not been asked this, but it's something I want to clarify in case anyone's been thinking it: the reason why Hazel isn't on Cosmo and Wanda's relationship chart on their sideblog profiles.

- The sideblog is for Cloudlands AU content, although a profile may mention how a character changes in a certain AU. A New Wish is a spin-off show, so it's not part of Cloudlands canon. - Hazel is a City Lights AU character. Cloud!Cosmo and Cloud!Wanda don't have a relationship with her. They're godparents to Tommy and Tammy during that time (in line with the "Channel Chasers" ending). -> I drew an image of my AUs HERE to give a visual for how City Lights branches off from Cloudlands (and where other AUs exist in relation to it). - I imagine Hazel does exist in Cloudlands AU, but she'll never be mentioned because she's a spin-off character. A New Wish is not canon with Cloudlands AU. -> She's there in the same way Viv and Roy are there: Technically they exist because I included them on the Turner family tree, and they might appear in a family reunion story, but "Fairly Odder" isn't canon in Cloudlands AU. -> In my timeline, Antony is born shortly after time is unfrozen. I opted for Angela and Marcus to be in a long-term honeymoon phase with no non-aging babies to care for. -> Hazel is born around the time Tammy and Tommy are, but I don't plan to include her because we don't know where she was born. If we find out she was born in Dimmsdale, then she'll possibly appear in Cloudlands AU, but only in her early years. Cloud!Cosmo and Wanda don't move to Dimmadelphia.

tl;dr - I do have Hazel thoughts in my head, but I don't expect to post them soon.

Thus far, she's appeared in my posted work "50 Words of Dev and Hazel." I'd like to do more relationship studies (Namely "50 Words of Hazel and Antony" & "50 Words of Wells" for their family, plus "50 Words of Hazel, Jasmine, and Winn" or individual stories for their duos), but I'm waiting for Season 2 news so I can decide if I want to use its canon.

-> Season 2 might also bring us more info on Wells and Jasmine's families, so I can write sleepover stories and house visits using canon family members instead of creating OCs. I don't mind creating OCs, but I'd be sad if I loved the canon characters and had already written Tran & Harper family stories that exclude them (or if they have single parent, stepfamilies, or adoption plotlines I want to explore).

-> It was an easy decision not to keep the Dimmadomes close to canon because I had a pre-existing OC married to Dale, and the OC is obviously not going to appear in canon. Thus, I didn't mind not waiting for Season 2 news to plan their family relationships. My Dimmadome works are helping me shape Dimmadelphia and its history before I add Hazel and her friends' families, but I do plan circle back to Hazel and the Wells family when I'm ready.

- Obligatory reminder that Cloudlands AU is my primary AU and is much higher priority than my City Lights works.

I do have some Hazel ideas that excite me, but I can only write so many things at once, so we'll get there when we get there. Some Hazel things might be posted in Off the Rails before I do stuff with her in City Lights.

[spdrvyn]

Paraformal Information!

What is Paraformal?

Paraformal follows the story of young teen paranormal investigators: Alec and Claire Spade! After multiple dead ends in their investigation, they work even harder until they see a real other-worldly entity. After going through a rather interesting encounter with it, they build up the courage to visit the most mysterious house in their neighborhood. It is rumored to be center of paranormal activity due to the odd noises and recent disappearances. Through that, they discover a completely different realm unlike their own and that is when their true investigation begins.

Most of the story is set in The Human Realm and 'The Underworld'. Most characters are either: demons (and their different sub-species) and humans.

The story is intended for those that are 13 and above.

The story will have either 3-4 seasons, I'm still working out the quirks so I don't really know how fleshed out the show will be.

Who are the main characters?

Our main characters are Alec and Claire Spade, they are mostly polar opposites and their shared interest is (obviously) paranormal investigation!

Claire is a happy-go lucky kind of gal, she is energetic and care free. She also doesn't really have much of a strong sense of danger, if it's cool enough or piques her interest then she doesn't see it as dangerous. She's also very fearless, if anything she likes fear and dives into adventure for those spine chilling experiences! Though her flare for fun activities sometimes get her stuck in situations that leave her more than hoodwinked.

Alec though? Not so much. He is witty, tends to look into the deeper meaning of things, but he is also paranoid and wayyy too fearful. His sense of danger practically skyrockets to the moon as he sees almost every adventure as some sort of suicide mission. He prefers to stay inside and read, getting information from books & websites (but Claire drags him out because "staying inside too much will degrade his knowledge rather than enhance it"). Alec can also be too deep. Sometimes, looking past the answers right in front of him and making things harder for himself as well.

Who are the antagonists?

"Frederick?! Reddington?! WHERE?! Oh no, no, no... NO! I have to run and hide, I need to say goodbye to - I need to get out of here. He's going to - he... he might -"

"If ya' think you can survive a battle with Sierra Beaumont then you're going to die because of that foolish ego of yours! Every body that has faced the princess has and will meet their end, I'M WARNIN' YA'!"

"A- Arthur Beaumont may stay in his castle most of the time but... but I've heard that he - he's mastered both demonic and angelic magic. ANYBODY that angers him could be poofed out of existence!"

Hmm. Seems like they're quite the scary characters to me. :)

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] All Demon Brothers + Undateables as Babysitters (Part 2)

Scenario: For the sake of the exchange program (probably), the entire cast is now in charge of taking care of kids ranging from infants to pre-K children at a daycare with you. Headcanons on what type of babysitter they would be + whatever cute shenanigans that may occur

Note: Baby fever!! Inspiration is the entirety of Gakuen Babysitter/School Babysitter, as previously mentioned. 

why do i always make my headcanons so long

[Part 1] has the 7 Demon Brothers

Part 2 will have all Five Undateables

-

Solomon

“Kids are just so funny, don’t you think?” 

Similar to Satan where he acts very casual and is actually very casual, but… the kids are scared of him LMAO

They can’t vibe him out so every time he tries to help them, they’re a little nervous and would prefer to just latch onto you, so if anything he helps the kids bond with YOU 

He doesn’t seem to bothered by the cold response, and if anything, seems amused by it and encourages the fear for a little since it lets the kids listen to him immediately, but you’re quick to suggest that he please drop the sus front and help you

Solomon uses magic to appeal to the kids-- real magic but also magic tricks mixed in there as well and the kids are fascinated 

“Is that magic?”

“Yup!” Solomon says, summoning dozens of birds from a random hat he found. (The clean-up was horrendous.) 

It’s so easy to win them over after that with his sleight of hand-- pulling out a coin from your ear or a flower from your nose-- and overall using his skills to dazzle the kids into forgetting they were ever afraid of him 

Likes to tease the kids though, which sometimes results in them crying if he accidentally takes it too far like if he says “I’ve got your nose!” and then proceeds to ‘poof’ it out of existence by pretending to put it into a hat and disappearing it-- like Solomon, c’mon they’re three years old, they’re not going to be able to tell whether or not you’re joking so put that nose back where it belong or so help me-- 

On the other hand, Solomon is adept at cheering kids up when they’re upset by doing silly antics like continuously pulling out coins from the kid’s ears and being (fake) surprised by how much is coming out so the kids giggle

Solomon is quite fond of kids so he actually doesn’t really mind this episode of babysitting 

He’s basically just acting like an older brother to all these kids

Quite efficient with diapers and feeding babies

Diavolo

It was definitely his idea to do this, and like everything that’s new to him, he’s excited to see how he can handle it and whether the kids will like him

Spoiler alert, they do

Diavolo tells so many dad-jokes, and it makes the kids giggle every time; they love his energy and how he lets them do whatever they want (to an extent) as long as they stay safe

The kids probably disappointed them once by doing something they weren’t supposed to or by not listening to you, and his sad ‘i’m not mad, just disappointed’ look is enough to make them not want to do anything bad ever again 

You probably think Diavolo lets the kid run wild, but he’s actually very attentive to each kids-- sensing whether they’re upset or not and keeping an eye on the kids whenever they’re outside playing 

The kids probably know it too, inside, that Diavolo will keep them safe, so they like hanging out with Diavolo and trust him a lot, which is honestly the highest praise to Diavolo who beams every time the kids are comfortable enough to nap around him 

Similar to Beel, uses his strength to appeal to the kids, lifting them up and carrying them around-- but in the most chaotic way possible; you’re not worried he’d drop them, but seeing him carrying a kid by the leg behind his back or having two kids on each of his shoulders makes your heart leap to your throat every time (for more than one reason)

At this point, you’re not sure if Diavolo is the dad or the funny uncle 

When Diavolo talks to the kids, he is so gentle with them-- if any of the kids ever do something bad, the best person to talk to them is Diavolo because he sounds so understanding and tbh getting chided by him feels like you’re being scolded by your dad

When you ask him why he’s so good at handling kids, he just gives you a smile; he’s fascinated by kids, mainly because they grow up so fast and learn so much from the world around them, and he wants to encourage that sort of positive outlook for them

Simeon

He’s the type of babysitter that everyone tries to be good for because making him sad is the Worst Thing you could possibly do

Simeon knows that all the kids love him to the point that they’d be good for him, but he doesn’t like them know that and he definitely uses that to his advantage when trying to convince them to take their nap or be nice to each other 

Surprisingly strict when it comes to keeping schedule and cleaning up; makes sure everyone has a role and that they’re all being fair to each other-- so he has that good balance of being super nice that he’s well-liked but strict enough so that they listen to him 

Probably helps the kids put on a play reenacting either their favorite book or even something that Simeon wrote out for them

You’re a little worried having him direct, but Simeon assures you that he knows that they’re kids and he won’t hold them to the same standards as he did for the RAD School Festival

He’s actually gentle and very nurturing-- some kids probably accidentally call him mom (but he’s really nice about it and laughs, brushing it off so the kid doesn’t get too embarrassed)

if you encourage it the entire daycare might end up calling him mom at least once

Simeon really encourages their expression and praises come easy to him so the kids are always eager to learn more and do better while also having fun; also what he doesn’t know is that the kids are super in love with his smile

He’s quite used to mentoring kids and likes to see kids explore their environment and learn from experience rather than have him tell them what to do-- he’s the type of babysitter to ask them what they learned and ask whether or not that was a good/bad idea so that they can formulate their own world view and grow

Definitely gives the kids ‘tasks’ to complete or their first errand to run and watches over them as they do it just to make sure they don’t get hurt while doing them; then rewards them whenever they succeeded

Barbatos

Something about butlers being very similar in every story, but Barbatos is definitely a diligent and extremely efficient babysitter-- and the kids are fascinated with him

They follow him around, eyes wide open, as if doing so will help them see and understand how Barbatos can clean up the room in five seconds tops and change a diaper with a sweep of his hands

He definitely notices this, and if he’s using more dramatic motions just to put on a show for them, no one comments on it 

Barbatos is like those enigmas where you don’t really know how strict he is, but you’d rather not find out 

It’s in the way he speaks and in his tone of voice that the kids pick up the fact that they should probably behave when Barbatos is babysitting them-- and it’s further amplified when Barbatos tells a kid to not do something without even turning around to look and now the kids are convinced Barbatos has eyes at the back of his head 

He definitely bakes goods and cuts up fruits for the kids to eat during recess or break time, so if the kids weren’t won over before, they definitely are now

To be honest, when you have a babysitting shift with Barbatos, you’re hard pressed to get him to let you work since he gets everything done so quickly and without prompting

Luke

Is literally the biggest kid in the playground 

Sweet and tries to help you wherever he can when it comes to the kids, but is a little lost when it comes to comforting an upset kid-- and he’s very distraught that he doesn’t know how so he ends up baking and giving cookies to kids who did well or to cheer them up, so honestly that’s perfectly good on its own

Carried a baby once and now he doesn’t ever want to let go because… you mean to say all humans were this small once? You mean you were this small once? He’s a little in awe because he’s never been exposed to much outside of the celestial realm, so this very well may be the first time he’s seen human children

Some of the kids definitely do have a fun time teasing him though, pulling on his apron or shirt and then running away when Luke gets mad at them, but the kids do love Luke though-- he really is like their older brother and they follow him around like ducklings as long as Luke doesn’t notice 

He learns really quickly and gets really good at taking care of the babies and interacting with the kids, and you’re really proud of how he’s grown during this time 

Luke is very sad when they have to leave and stop babysitting because he got really attached to the kids and actually really liked being needed and taking care of them; if the kids start crying at him leaving, he WILL cry with them

[kuzuhinasecretexchange]

Work Title: How To Learn To Enjoy Coffee In Four Days

Author: @jagopolis

For: @starryy-night

Pairings/Characters: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu/Hajime Hinata, Peko Pekoyama

Rating/Warnings: General audiences, warning for a lot of foul language

Prompts used: Coffee Shop AU, urban fantasy

Author’s notes: I am so sorry for the foul language. And the other thing, I hope this small piece is to your liking! I adore modern/urban fantasy so I immediately jumped on board, and while coffee shop AUs are not something I often write, I think I did decently! Enjoy this small piece and glory to the lovely kuzuhina ship! Also, 10°C is 50°F.

Nobody liked Mondays.

And that was the fact as true as the sun setting every morning, the stars showing up at night, or that every full moon werewolves would go a bit feral.

Even the weather seemed to agree that Mondays are shit. The temperature was no higher than maybe 10°C if not for the wind, and the sky had that ugly, grey color of clouds that won’t bring rain, but will obscure the sunshine just because.

Amidst all that, just after they got a moment off their duties, Peko approached Fuyuhiko with an offer. Apparently, a new coffee shop opened nearby, and she was looking for a friend willing to visit it with her.

And, you know what? Yeah, sure, why not, any break from the bleak reality will make this boring day much more bearable.

Turns out the shop wasn’t even far from their workplace, they didn’t have to take a short-distance teleport, just a quick train ride. At least, it would be quick, if not for the elf who suddenly decided to argue with the driver. Seriously, even goddamn dragons aren’t that proud.

But finally, they arrived at their stop and headed towards their destination. It was in one of the more rural districts. With narrower streets, mainly small houses and equally small gardens.

“So, this is the fuss is all about?” Fuyuhiko mused out loud, judging the rather modest front of the cafe.

Peko nodded quietly, though what interested her more were the fluffy cushions leaning against one of the windows. Knowing her, they won’t leave without a new one.

This was actually a good opportunity to take a peek into the cafe. And it wasn’t anything stellar, truth be told. Just a few tables with chairs or more comfortable sofas, a small counter, and a single, tired employee checking something on his phone. No customers at this hour? Sheesh, if this is another shitty place… Fuyuhiko sighed and pushed the door, walking inside. What hit him immediately was the sheer intensity of magic woven into this place. It felt as if they transitioned from a shitty autumn Monday to a bright summer Sunday by just taking a single step. The interior transformed from a cheap look to a full-blown forest. With trees and birds singing and all that shit. And, yeah, Fuyuhiko was aware this is all just very good illusion magic at work but y’know, this shit is still impressive. Especially since he tried and failed miserably at learning it.

And then Fuyuhiko noticed that there is a fucking window with soft cushions next to him and all immersion went poof.

Peko, however, was absolutely taken in, and he knew that from the way her lips twitched in the slightest of smiles.

“…come on, let’s not keep the barista waiting,” he grumbled, before moving to the counter, now overgrown with moss and flowers. But behind it was the same, very bored barista, checking his phone. The audacity! Fuyuhiko very loudly clears his throat, and the guy finally has enough common fucking sense to look at his customers. “Welcome to our small shop, what do you desire?” barista’s voice was no less enthusiastic than the way he greeted his only customers, and Fuyuhiko was so, so fucking tempted to curse this idiot out right there and then. Let’s go. Let’s fucking go.

“What we fucking desire, is–” There was a hand on her shoulder, and Peko’s voice quickly cut him off. “We don’t desire anything, Fae. However, we would like to order an espresso and a caramel latte. With almond milk.”

…of fucking course it’s a fae. As if anything today can go right, he almost told his desires to a fae. Good job Fuyuhiko! Good job you idiot!

The fae barista nodded and got to making their order, while Peko, with her hand still on Fuyuhiko’s shoulder, guided him to a table far away from the counter. The shorter man huffed angrily and sat down.

“…This was close. You need to watch your tongue around faes.”

To that, Fuyuhiko just grabbed a handful of moss growing from his chair and ripped it off. “It’s not my fucking fault that bitch tried to scam me out of my wants! How the hell was I supposed to know he’s a fae to begin with? These stupid illusions make him look almost amagi–”

Peko cut him off with a nudge before he could continue his angry rant as the barista approached them. He placed their orders on the table. It didn’t appear as if he heard anything, then again, who knew with these sly bastards. “Anything else?” Your stupid head on the platt–

“No, thank you very much.” God bless Peko for her natural unshakable composure.

The barista nodded and then walked away, all while Fuyuhiko dug his sharp claws into the living wood of the illusionary table. Meanwhile, Peko picked up her espresso and took a long, slow sip. She was someone who not only knew a lot about coffee but also enjoyed this devilish brew of the evilest of demons. No, seriously, how the fuck could anyone ever enjoy its bitterness? Fuyuhiko let out a frustrated growl, before finally taking his cup and sipping some of probably the single sweetest coffee in existence. It still tasted like coffee, and that meant absolute garbage though. “For being clearly a front for fae activity, their coffee is rather delicious.” Peko mused, setting down her cup. It was already empty, much to Fuyuhiko’s horror. His latte was barely started and he already had enough!

“If you say so. I just think it’s a very shitty business practice to try to extort desires from your clients,” he muttered, grip tightening around his glass. “I’m just gonna go pay and then we’re out. And never, ever coming back.”

Peko looked at him with that slightly amused look of hers, before turning her eyes to the weird-ass not-illusion-hidden window with the cushions. Oh no… “Please don’t tell me you want a souvenir.” She nodded. He cursed out his life again. Then got up and walked to that counter and damn barista, who somehow already got back onto his phone. Fuyuhiko had to try real hard to not start growling at the fae. But he was a distinguished dragon, and way too old to growl at people he disliked. “I’m paying, card, how much is it?”

The barista looked up at him with these annoyingly green eyes of his, then on the register.

“830 yen.” And at that moment Fuyuhiko started growling. What a fucking steal! He could get coffee that’s equally as horrible for what, a 100 yen? Fucking faes and their fucking shady business practices!

No, Fuyuhiko, remember your goal here.

“…you’ve got quite the prices.”

The barista just shrugged. The bastard-

“I didn’t set the prices, I just work here.”

The eyeroll Fuyuhiko made was one of the more subtle kinds. Absolutely.

“Alright, whatever. Can the cushions you have by the window be bought?”

And that, for fuck’s sake FINALLY, got a reaction out of the bored guy. His brows furrowed in genuine confusion, as he looked over Fuyuhiko’s shoulder and at the window.

“Well, no, they’re a part of the interior…”

Aha. Sure sure, anything a fae has in their sight can be acquired through a bit of rule-bending.

“What about exchange then? You can exchange anything for anything with equal value.”

Gotcha bitch.

The barista sighed, before rubbing his temples and hesitantly nodded.

“That… Is true, but you’d have to bring me an equally as fluffy cushion for trade. You’d already have a cushion though, so why-”

“Then it’s a deal!” Fuyuhiko took his card out and quickly made the right payment. For the coffee. But the more important and tricky one will have to wait. “I will bring you that cushion tomorrow.”

Barista didn’t say anything, visibly too stunned by the weird happenings. Haha, 1-0, shitty customer service guy. With everything taken care of, and his power and pride flaunted, Fuyuhiko turned around and gestured at Peko to follow him. She sighed, with that smallest of amusements on her face. She was lucky to be his best friend, he wouldn’t bother for anyone else.

“I’m never doing you any favors again.”

To which Peko just laughed, as they walked out of the enchanted cafe and into the much less gray Monday of the city.

  —

  So, Tuesdays.

On most occasions, Fuyuhiko didn’t mind Tuesdays as much as he did Mondays, for a simple reason. His work started later and he could wake up at a reasonably late hour and not be late. Sure, not much happened, but there wasn’t any reason for outright hatred either.

That is, usually.

Because today, he had to carry a fluffy fucking cushion to a stupid cafe and uphold his end of the deal with a fae. Because, in his own stupidity, he shouted ‘it’s a deal’ in front of a being known for making shady deals with other magical and amagical creatures for a living. But this was fine. Everything was fine. This was a harmless deal with clearly stated conditions. Pillow for a pillow, exchanged today. That’s all, the fae really had no room to scam him out of his soul or some shit.

And so, after work, he made it very clear to Peko how dissatisfied he was with what she put him up for, before leaving with his sacrificial pillow, one he extorted from Souda with a few threats and curses. What? He doesn’t have stuff like that just laying around, he prefers smooth materials.

He took one look at the traffic and decided to not bother with a train, instead preparing to pay quite a bit for a teleport. Really, fuck whoever thought that instead of making this perfect means of transportation free, one has to pay stupid amounts just to make a short jump.

The machine situated on the end of his street happily swallowed a few whole bills while he typed in the address. Glass doors of the booth closed behind him, the low hum of magic filled the closed space, before pulling him under for just a moment and spitting out at a different machine. THANK YOU FOR USING OUR SERVICES flashed across the screen, as the glass door opened to the narrow street from yesterday. “Thank you for ripping me off, assholes,” Fuyuhiko muttered to himself. At least he wasn’t one of the losers who were nauseous after teleportation. He covered his mouth with his hand. Just in case.

The street was as empty as yesterday. Actually, everything looked exactly like yesterday, even the weather was the same. Pushing the annoying deja vu aside, Fuyuhiko quickly made his way to the coffee shop, pillow in his hand. A plastic bag, but who cares.

Inside the exact same illusion has greeted him. His eyes wandered to the counter, behind which the same shithead from yesterday was standing, but this time just mindlessly fidgeting with some coins instead of being on his phone. What an improvement.

So Fuyuhiko walked over, slammed his cushion on the counter, and stared the barista dead in the eyes. “My end of the deal. Your turn.” And the barista looked at him with such deep confusion Fuyuhiko was sure the last time he saw emotion as strong as this on someone’s face was when he breathed fire during a party to get everyone’s attention. So he just stood there, waiting for the idiot to remember what this is all about. Up until now, he didn’t really have the time to examine his target of curses. He had the appearance of a guy roughly his physical age, with a standard built and brown, spiky hair. So spiky in fact that some strands seemed to completely defy gravity and just stand upright. Fuyuhiko briefly wondered what kind of hairspray the guy was using. He was dressed in a brown apron and striped shirt, just standard work clothes. No one would wear that atrocity without being forced to.

“…wait, you’re the guy who wanted to trade pillows-?” the barista finally spoke up, examining the bag. He reached into it, and took the cushion into his hands, squeezing it.

But Fuyuhiko really had no patience for this place, nor this guy.

“Yes. Now, which ones can I trade this for?”

The barista stared at the pillows stacked up against the window as if he saw them for the first time in his life.

“Any, I think. Just, uh, bring one to me and I’ll decide?”

Without waiting for any further encouragement, Fuyuhiko bolted towards the window, grabbed the single fluffiest bastard situated there, almost tripped on a tree’s root on his way back, and placed the soon-to-be-his pillow right next to the one he brought.

The barista blinked in great confusion again, before nodding.

“Yeah, sure, this looks about equal in volume…”

Which, to be fair, surprised Fuyuhiko. Was this fae just. Agreeing to the terms of a different being? What the fuck. What the Fuck.

“Would you like to order anything, though?” the barista continued. Fuyuhiko shook his head.

“No, that’s all I wanted out of this place. Bye.”

He grabbed his bag, the newly obtained gift, and turned around. “Wait!” the barista’s voice caught up to him. “…we also serve tea?”

Did that bastard notice that he didn’t drink his coffee yesterday? More importantly, remembered it? That’s very fucking weird of him.

But also rather rude of Fuyuhiko to just walk in, demand a pillow, and walk out? Fuck this shit… a single cup of tea couldn’t harm anyone. Even if served by a fae. If they used some illegal charms they’d be shut down before they could even open.

“…single cup of green tea then.”

As Fuyuhiko turned around, he caught the barista smiling to himself. Yeah, good job dipshit, you just convinced a guy to become your customer again. This time though, instead of sitting by a table, the dragon decided to sit by the counter. Maybe to observe the sly fae. Maybe.

Said fae in question easily maneuvered between the shelves and picked out what seemed to be Fuyuhiko’s ordered tea, then scooped some into a tea infuser, placed that into the cup, and poured hot water onto it. And it’s not like Fuyuhiko has never seen someone make tea, for fuck’s sake he makes it himself, but damn this man had some moves.

“Enjoy your drink.”

Fuyuhiko looked at the cup with still brewing tea with the slightest hint of suspicion. But he just went over all the arguments, so he just picked it up and took a sip. “…that’s one sweet green tea.”

The barista laughed a bit, before scratching his neck. “Yes, you see, I picked a sweeter mix, I thought you’d like it after your last order.”

“Do you remember every order you get?” Fuyuhiko could not contain a snark. The barista answered with a slow nod.

“Pretty much-? That’s what I’m paid for.”

The dragon just stared at him as he continued to sip his tea. The fae shifted his balance from left to right, then searched for something to look at, finally landing on the pillow.

“…that girl is really lucky to have you. I mean, not everyone would make a deal with a fae to get a gift!”

And to that, Fuyuhiko spat out his tea for the first time. He coughed loudly, to the barista’s bewilderment.

“Peko is like my sister!”

The barista shook his head with stunning speed, his voice seemed to get a tone higher.

“No, I wasn’t trying to insist anything like that-! She’s lucky to have you, as a brother-?”

Fuyuhiko continued to cough his lungs out. The barista leaned forward and, after hesitating a moment, awkwardly patted his back. And while Fuyuhiko would prefer for a stranger to not touch him, the gesture was somewhat appreciated (and, damn, his hands were warm). A few more coughs and the cursed tea finally left his lungs in its entirety, it would appear. He could finally breathe freely. Barista went back to standing at a distance of the counter (would it be strange to be disappointed by that?).

“Uh… Sorry about that. So, your ‘like sister’s’ name is Peko, and yours is?” That was probably the most awkward segway into a different topic Fuyuhiko has heard since he met Kazuichi. Anyway, it’d be pretty rude to not introduce himself.

“Name’s Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko.”

The barista’s eyes went a little wide, no doubt recognizing the family name. But he made no comments about it, instead just nodded.

“I’m Hinata Hajime. It’s nice to see new faces around here.”

That’s… An underwhelmingly typical name. The dragon hoped to at least find a family connected to this fae, but it seems he truly was just. A guy working in a cafe.

The momentary quiet apparently startled Hinata, as he reached to scratch his arm.

“So, you-”

“Before we change the topic again,” Fuyuhiko cut in. “Let me finish this tea. It’s getting cold.”

Hinata gave an apologetic look and a nod, before shuffling off to poke some buttons on the cash register. From the side, Fuyuhiko could appreciate just how. Nicely he fit into the scenery, with his green eyes, and hair in a shade similar to the trees, and–

Hinata turned his head and flashed him a quick smile, before going back to work, and Fuyuhiko was almost sure his heart stopped. Gh, get yourself together, you useless fucking homosexual!

“Actually, there’s something I want to ask you,” quickly start a conversation maybe then he won’t judge him for staring. “You behaved like a completely different person yesterday. I’m not tryin’ to pry, but what’s up with that?”

Hinata stopped for a moment, before resuming the apparently absolutely pointless fidgeting with the register.

“Yeah, I. Apologize for that, not very professional of me, hah?” from just the tone of his voice Fuyuhiko could guess that he stepped into something he shouldn’t have. “It was just. A long day, I barely got any sleep, and–” “Y’know what, nevermind, forget I asked.” Good job Fuyuhiko. You absolute moron. You idiot. How do you ruin your chances in a single sentence.

“Oh, no, it’s fine! I get it, it must look pretty weird from the outside, like two different people, or something!”

“Like, identical evil twin shit?”

 Hinata’s smile got wider for a moment, covering up a laugh. “I wish! Someone to cover my shifts, that’d be fantastic.”

And, alright, listen. Fuyuhiko was prying way too much, but this a matter of planning his week ahead and knowing when to come to this cafe and when to ditch it all and not expose himself to any bullshit from faes.

“So you work here alone? Sounds tough.”

“Well, not really. I’m just the only one on shift right now. My coworker will come to give me a break eventually.” said Hinata, following it with a dismissive wave of his hand.

So of course Fuyuhiko followed it with: 

“Then, when are you free?”, praying inside that his hidden intention is not picked up just yet.

“Uh, I finish my shift Friday evening?”

The intention wasn’t picked up but if Fuyuhiko had any more tea, he’d probably spit it out again. Luckily, the cold, half-finished cup laid abandoned next to him. “…it’s Tuesday.”

“Yes, well, fae don’t really need to sleep as often as most sentient species, so I can take 5-days-long shifts without much issue.” and he had the audacity to say that as if it was just a common occurrence to work for 100… something hours nonstop!

But that. Did give him quite a bit of time to get to know Hinata better…

“Sounds fuckin’ awful, I can barely stand 8 hours at work.”

Hinata responded with a chuckle, just shrugging.

“You can get used to it, I guess. Are you going to finish your tea, or-?”

Aw, shit, the tea. Yeah, it was undrinkable now anyway, and it’s not like Fuyuhiko liked it that much in the first place.

“I’ll pay, how much is it?”

“A cup will be… 300 yen.”

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE– the prices here will kill him! Drain all of his goddamn earnings!

He just took out enough bills and handed them over. Staying longer than this would be rude, even if nobody else was in the cafe. Or, that was an illusion, he just fell for an illusion, and it’s all fae tricks designed to make him lose money.

He grabbed his pillow and stood up.

“Till next time, then.”

Hinata’s brow slowly raised.

“Next time?”

But before he had to answer that question and no doubt embarrass himself further, Fuyuhiko walked right out of that cursed place.

Just one glance, through the window. And, sure enough, Hinata stood there, stood there, alive, and probably real since apparently glass resisted the illusion. Luckily, his eyes were still stuck looking at the door, so he did not see Fuyuhiko questioning his existence.

Turning away and walking down the street, the dragon took out his phone and quickly opened the chat with Peko.

  FUYU: How do you learn to enjoy coffee?

KOKO: Why are you asking? FUYU: None of your business! KOKO: It’s that barista. FUYU: …… KOKO: I knew you’d enjoy that place. :-)

[vore-scientist]

A Game Of Chase

(safe/soft - GT - M/f-fluffy - platonic - vore)

A (mini) tale of the mystic woods

Premise: A classic pred/prey past time! Lots of mouthplay!

Warnings: very small mention of blood, including tasting it. It’s NOT a result of the vore/mouthplay, Yonah is very careful! I promise it’s like, nothing. \

---

Zipping like a roadrunner the Princess Sophia’s footsteps made quiet the little ditty on the stone floor. A ditty that was overpowered by the thunderous stomping of the half-giant that chased after her. Pushing her short legs to their limit she increased her speed a smidge more. She wasn’t just small compared to the half-giant, she was small for a human, at 157cm (5’2”). 

Yonah, not wanting to trip and fall on his princess from carelessness, tried to predict her heading so he could focus on his own feet. The bedroom maybe? They were currently the living room, but had been in the workshop. Sophia had practically fallen down the stairs, using some crazy and daring bounding that kept her ahead of Yonah. 

Sophia had a wild smile on her face as her heart pounded with exhilaration. She made a sharp turn for the bookshelf and heard the little scramble as Yonah compensated for this new direction.

Baseball doesn’t exist in this world, and while similar sports do you wouldn’t get such references. So baseball it is. Not caring for her own skin she slid under the bookshelf like a runner racing a fast ball to home base. That stung; She’d be licking her wounds later for sure. Or rather Yonah would, she mused for a moment. Eh, that should be fine. 

“Awww come on!! I’m hungry!!” Yonah knelt on the floor and glanced under the bookshelf at the princess who was crawling to the back. 

“Too bad! Earn your food! It ain’t gonna waltz into your mouth!”

“But it-she can! She is just being a butt today; getting into places I can’t reach!” Yonah still tried to reach for her but she was too far back and his arm didn’t fit. 

“And you’re not trying hard enough! Aren’t you magical as shit?”

“That would be cheating!”

“Says the giant who wants me to just offer myself up!” 

Groaning he halfway stood up and grasped the side and bottom of the shelf, carefully moving it without letting any books fall. It was a slow process But when he was able to see behind it the princess was gone! 

“Sophia?” 

If he had somehow crushed her with the sliding wood (an absurd notion given how slowly he went) surely would have heard her scream and stopped what he was doing. 

Something caught his eye on the table behind him and he whirled around. Nothing! Then something pulled at his hair and thudded into his back. He tried to reach for her but she was already climbing up his ponytail. 

She clambered onto his head, under his hat. And snuggled into his hair in the dark. Hugging his head as he laughed. 

Light returned. She had one last move, as a hand came up to snatch her off his head! She lept! Forward; into the air, aiming for the bookcase once more. And was caught in two callous but soft hands. 

Now she dangled in front of his beaming face. 

“Got you!” He said, opening his mouth. 

But he didnt eat her. Instead he gently placed his lips around her side, delicately pressing his teeth in a love bite. Withdrawing his face he kissed her side, flicking his tongue out as he did, then under her arm to lap it up into his mouth. Her arm was still in his mouth, trapped by his teeth, thoroughly tasted, even as he sat down in his armchair with his prize. Wanting the use of his hands he pulled up the ottoman, took off his shoes, and put up his feet so that his knees were close to his head. He placed Sophia down. 

Sophia yanked her arm from his teeth, it was starting to hurt. Not from the force of the bite, but her shoulder was strained by the awkward angle. She massaged her arm and wiped the spittle off on Yonah’s robes. 

Yonah did not mind, he was happy to play. As soon as Sophia was relatively dry he licked her bodily. And froze with his tongue still on her. There was an unmistakable taste of iron. But surely she would have said something? He withdrew his face, but Sophia was smiling. 

“Why’d you stop?” she asked. 

“You’re bleeding somewhere.” it was not a question. 

“Oh!” She laughed, she turned over a leg to show him “I scraped my leg sliding under the shelf, I’m fine. Unless you’d rather not taste blood… I didn’t think it bothered you.”

She’d gotten scraped up on patrols before, minor nicks from thorns or falling off rocks, and that had never phased him. Sophia was certain his preference for uninjured had more to do with making things worse, than an aversion to a little blood. 

Yonah’s face turned red, “I was worried I hurt you.”

“Nope!” 

She leaned against his face, and whispered “If I’d been hurt you’d be bleeding from your ears right now!”

He knew she was right, but didn’t like how she’d phrased that, so he licked her in retaliation, covering her face in slobber. She shoved the tongue away but it was futile, Yonah pushed her into his mouth, her hands slipping across the tongue as she yelped in surprise. Then he sealed his lips around her torso, holding her delicately between his jaws, his tongue under her stomach. 

“Wow you got over that quickly,” she said, smacking his tongue rather loudly and elbowing his cheeks. 

The only response she got was a giggle, though she was pressed up against the pallet and the laugh reverberated through her a bit, the tongue flexing. Then a humming noise, which was all Yonah could manage in the way of speech since his mouth was so occupied. 

“I dont know what your fuckin saying!” Sophia said, doing her best to hug his tongue, wrestling it gently. 

Such an odd texture. It was soft, but so lumpy, in a way that she couldn’t compare to anything else. She liked it a lot. 

Then the jaws parted just a bit, enough so she could easily slide out. She sat in Yonah’s hand as he leaned back with a contented smile. 

“Dude if you’re gonna eat me, eat me!” She was starting to get sore from laughing, and might have a bruise or two from his teeth but that’s what one gets roughhousing with a half-giant. In addition she was soaked in drool. it was getting uncomfortable. She wanted to clean up or just be swallowed so it wouldn’t get all dry and sickly sticky. 

The wizard’s dark brown eyes glinted orange And she was held in front of his face. 

With a gentle stroking he applied a dab of glass paste to her forehead and whispered the magic words. His stomach grumbled in a Pavlovian manner to the poof of purple sparkles and he wasted no time in lowering Sophia into his mouth. She smiled as she was swallowed down swiftly and smoothly. 

Mmmmmm. There was a lingering layer of flavor on her glass form, which slid into his stomach, filling it up ever so nicely. He leaned back, stretching, clenching his gut so that it really squashed Sophia who chided him with a  “HEY!” and some nice strong kicks. 

“Scrumptious as always, Princess,” Yonah pat his stomach, “Nothing hits the spot quite like you do.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you wanted something for all this flattery,” Sophia said as she stretched out and settled into the soft folds of the stomach. 

Sophia was just tickled pink knowing that this place, a dangerous torture chamber for anyone else, was her secure little hide away made of plush walls and intense loving warmth. Sure it was Yonah’s stomach, and she was technically “his” princess, but he was her father’s wizard. He belonged to her father, sort of, so this half-giant wizard’s stomach was her father’s, sort of, and thus sort of hers. Sort of. 

Yonah licked his fingers, not wanting to miss out on any of Sophia’s flavor, savoring it and the comforting feeling of his princess snuggling his insides. 

“What could I possibly want other than you snug in my belly?” He asked genuinely curious.

“That’s what I’m wondering,” she said. 

Now that the game was over and the adrenaline draining away, even from her cursed form, she was tired. 

She yawned. For some reason, even if she couldn’t breathe and didn’t need to, her body did things just because it was what it felt it should do. 

“Falling asleep already?!” Yonah nudged his stomach causing the princess to jostle around. He smiled as she moved to find a new position. 

“Only if you let me apparently!” 

She sounded just pissed enough to stop Yonah from asking for belly rubs. 

Yonah considered for a moment, the prospect of a nap. And then he yawned a massive yawn. It filled his lungs and tensed his entire torso, including his gut around Sophia. She didn’t complain. 

“See, you’re tired too,” she sounded pleased. 

“Or yawns are infectious,” he noted. 

He was a bit tired. Not enough to fall asleep so easily, even with his belly full of princess. But he wasn’t going to stop Sophia from sleeping just because he was awake. He was professionally evil. Not personally a jerk. So he got up and wandered to the bookshelf. 

“Hey what’s with the movement?” 

“Just getting some reading material.”

He has to choose between a arcanists journal, specially printed for his scale, the cover boasting new advancements in Prophetic Dowsing, and a storybook, science fiction but trashy romance set in space. Yonah wasn’t much for prophecies, so he chose the fiction. He’d read the first book in the series and bought the next 3, but hadn’t touched them. 

The book was a bit awkwardly sized. Half-giant wasn’t a common enough scale to warrant consideration for printing. 

Sometimes he could find things in “ogre” size. It had to be popular enough that ogres who could read at least one common smallfolk language would buy it to read to their fellows. But ogres didn’t really care for long prose stories about mostly smallfolk. They preferred shorter stories in serial magazines. 

Giants on the other hand were a viable market for smallfolk fiction. Enough to even invest in translations into the various giant languages. The books still had to be popular enough, and the books were rather expensive. But worth it. 

So what looked like a normal book in the hands of a giant, looked like a big college textbook in Yonah’s. Out of scale though not ungainly. Especially if you were a wizard. 

Instead of returning to the armchair he opted for the couch. He would eventually fall asleep, he wanted to be lying down. Taking both throw pillows he placed them at one end of the couch and made himself comfortable. 

“Are you done yet?” Sophia asked, recognizing the current orientation of her chamber and hearing Yonah sigh. 

“Are you not asleep yet?” 

Sophia was suspicious of his jolly tone. 

“If you’re still awake you can give me belly rubs!” He said cheerfully, patting his stomach. 

There was grumbling from his middle. He didn’t expect to get any belly rubs. He did expect the impressively strong kicks as the princess expressed her frustrations. 

“That’s all your getting!” She declared and stopped moving once she’d found the most comfortable position. 

“Sleep well my princess,” Yonah cooed and gently rubbed his stomach. Then reached for his book. 

Obviously he couldn’t rest the heavy book on top of Sophia. And it was so heavy he wouldn’t have propped it up on his stomach regardless, those hard cover edges weren’t pleasant 

He levitated it. Positioning it at the perfect height and angle so that he didn’t have to strain his neck or eyes. 

Which worked great. 

Until he fell asleep and it fell right on top of Sophia. 

At least when she yelled from inside of him it was muffled. 

[FIN] PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY

[Thanks for reading! please reblog/message me with feedback! for more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’ on my blog! For thief stories only search “MW Thieves”]

[mrs-all-amukeian]

All this wedding talk is making me upset and I just sense that Michael isn't completely happy but I hope whatever he is doing, he'll find true happiness through it all

Ah yes, the time has finally come to rant about my favorite couple on this planet!!

Mystal has to be the shadiest couple I have had the pleasure of witnessing. There is so many things wrong with this couple (including the ridiculous age difference that would’ve caused a massive outrage if it were the other way around) but let’s start with the one and only, Crystal Leigh. Crystal is a b-i-t-c-h and when I say bitch, I mean bitch, This grown ass woman (what is she now, 35? 36?) has the audacity to fight with young fans (myself included) just because they called her out for her horrible past. Now, we all have made mistakes before when we were teenagers and have grown since then, but this woman has made all these mistakes in her late twenties and refuses to take responsibility for any of them. Fat shaming, using several slurs, and making fun of mental disorders is not something a grown woman should do and I would advise that she take notes from Michael who actually took responsibility for one sexist joke he made when he was fifteen! Another thing to add is that Crystal is a PR manager and has managed several celebrities (no A or B list celebs though) so she has her way around things and is no rookie here. 

 Now that we discussed that Crystal was no angel before meeting Michael, let’s bring up the numerous holes they have in their relationship timeline. In Michael’s engagement post on Instagram, he claims that it “all started for them” in Bali 3 years ago, where at the time, Crystal was still with Spencer (his posts at the time can confirm that) and some have already speculated that she was having an affair with Michael at the time because he kept posting about her and you can actually see them getting cozy in the background of some videos posted by friends. After the first Bali trip, Crystal was STILL with Spencer but yet, she had a picture of her and Michael kissing in Bali as his iMessage contact picture on her Macbook screen. As much as I hoped that Michael wasn’t the “homewrecker” type, he clearly knew she was in a relationship no matter what his intentions first were (rather it is PR or not). The Bali trip took place right after the band finished a big headlining tour, where the original plan was according to the boys, move to LA (where Calum and Ashton share a place & Michael and Luke share a place) but that did not happen. From what we eventually figured out, Luke had moved in with Arz, Cashton moving in together, and then Michael mysteriously living somewhere else. There was a picture Michael  posted in January of 2016 of a coffee mug and along with some of his stories, you can see that he was staying at a familiar apartment which ended up being Crystal’s place. So now that we can indicate that this relationship was a mess from the start, let’s continue to their current situation.

Michael is somebody who we used to mock at for always sitting his ass at home playing video games instead of clubbing with his bandmates because he hated that lifestyle but hey! throw Crystal in the picture and *poof*,just like magic, Michael is DJing at multiple clubs with “friends” and “friends of friends”. Michael has mentioned before that he gets social anxiety and sometimes prefers being alone rather than being somewhere crowded but yet, Crystal is dragging him along like one of her dogs to a ridiculous party with her plastic LA friends and people he hardly knows. I really do hope Michael is genuinely happy with this brand new lifestyle and isn’t just doing this for the sake of Ms.Sponsorship. Anybody with eyes can see that since the start of the relationship, e v e r y t h i n g posted by Crystal has to be either promo or a sponsorship. While this probably won’t be a surprise coming from Crystal (since my sis wants to secure her bag) but it’s a shock coming from Michael who’s doing it too now and if you look back at his old posts before Crystal, he has never tagged or mentioned a sponsor in his life. It’s one thing to tag a brand or location, but to tag every single detail on posts and stories is insane. All I’m saying is that nothing in this so called relationship adds up and it honestly looks like one big marketing scheme since literally everything they do is just looks like business (why is every single picture they take together staged and looks so awkward and unnatural? Imagine having a photographer following you around just to “capture the love” its fucking ridiculous LMAO)

One last thing I would like to discuss is the engagement and so-called wedding that everyone keeps bringing up to me. If one of my closest friends that i’d consider a brother gets engaged, I would be over the moon with excitement but yet, not a single one of his bandmates has peeped a word or even congratulated either one of them. The proposal itself is so funny because it took place in Bali, where their supposed affair began, and it was not even paid for by Michael, but by fucking GUESS, the clothing company that only invited Crystal and her friends for a photoshoot LMAOO. Let’s not forget how the Daily Mail somehow got access to every detail about this engagement (from their first song to ring size) and “professional photos” before he even brought it up to the public himself. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but wouldn’t it be nice to actually have the most important people in your life (maybe um like your bandmates or parents?) to be there and witness when you propose to the love of your life and not just some nameless models you met a week ago? The band clearly doesn’t give a shit about Crystal but obviously try to be supportive for the sake of Michael even though they have not once shown an ounce of support in the past 3 or so years they’ve been together. The fact that Michael getting engaged at 23 is just sad and crazy. Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly fine for anyone to get married anytime after 18 but it’s the matter of should you set yourself up to be tied down at such an early age? Michael has spent every year since the start of his career on his feet and working, not being able to discover himself or live on his own for once. I feel like an older woman who clearly lived our her years as a teen and her entire twenties is capable of settling down but not a 23 year old man who hasn’t truly found himself yet and I feel like he’s trying to convince himself that he is happy even though his face says otherwise. At the end of the day, if Ms. Promotion wasn’t a piece of shit and Michael at least looked like he had an ounce of happiness in him, I would support the shit out of this couple and maybe even throw rice myself at their wedding (that might not even happen since Michael never brings it up and doesn’t even fucking know the year he wants to tie the knot LMAOO)

Anyways, long read I know but this can probably answer all the asks I have about my opinion on Mystal and the non-existant wedding that will take place in the year 20whofuckingknows 

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “smells like teen spirit”. Back in Auradon. At Evie’s house. Mal’s in the kitchen making party food. Uma’s fighting a loosing battle with the swivel stool. And Celia’s sitting on the counter)

Celia: ok. I’ll bite. Why Harry. Out of all the idiots, all the boys, and Gil, that you could have chosen. Why Harry?

Uma: hm? Shit. Fuckin’. Crappy chair. What now

Mal: I can get you a proper chair if you like

Uma (slamming her palm down on the counter): I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY KITCHEN FURNISHINGS!!!! Ow

Mal: ok, dude. Say it. Don’t spray it.

Uma (sounding like Sideshow Bob): urgh. (Normal voice) What were you saying Ceels?

Celia: why. Harry.

Uma: he’s a good employee. Does what I say, when I say it, without argument

(Her sister and cousin look unconvinced)

Celia: you wanna tell or can I? Or if you’d prefer we can go full on Greek muse

Mal: ha. And let halfwit Harry be happy? Yeah, no, don’t think so

Uma: yeah I’m lost

Celia: toi, ma chère soeur, tu aimes le pirate

Uma: slander and blasphemy

Celia: well it’s true. Wether you like or not. You “wuv” him

Uma: you’re wrong. Mal, tell her she’s wrong

Mal: I can’t, I’m cooking. (She clears her throat) Coughshe’srightthoughcough

Uma: low blow. Even for you.

Celia: you know it. (She starts humming the “in a tree” song)

Uma: must she use that insipid song?

Mal: she’s your little sister. So yes.

Uma: I’m not, you know, with Harry

Mal: I am really not the one you should be talking to about this. If I had my way he’d be staring down the business end of a jet propeller.

Uma: yeah. You’re right. Got anymore booze?

Mal: open bar cuz, open bar.

Uma: thanks

(She reaches for a new bottle and promptly falls off the swivel stool)

Celia: HAHAHAHA!!!! Called it

Uma (popping up from the floor): I have to go

(She heads for the gazebo)

Mal: if I were you I’d go after her and knock her off the trail.

Celia: meaning you’d turn her away from Hook.

Mal: yep.

Celia: luckily for her, I’m not you.

(She gets off the counter and heads in Uma’s direction. Then she stops and turns around)

Celia: by the way. Where are Dizzy’s folks?

Mal (looking very uncomfortable): uhhhh (her eyes flit to the ceiling)...asleep...?

Celia: eh they deserve after the day they’ve had.

(Celia leaves Mal my long about Lamborghini’s, Doug’s shirt and throttling Evie, and goes to her sister)

Celia: hey

Uma (taking a swig of whiskey that empties half of the bottle): what?

Celia: just checking up on you

Uma: I’m not. It doesn’t exist.

Celia: yeah, yeah, I know. But if it worked

Uma: I am not like them. And you know I’m not. I’m (she takes another swig, emptying the bottle completely) independent

Celia: yeah the thing about they is well.

(This is when “miss independent” happens. After the song Mal poofs in)

Mal: Jay phoned. They’re just coming up to the house.

Celia: about time

Mal: oh and Uma, que pensez-vous de la livraison de Harry dans une boîte d'allumettes?

(Uma blanches and poofs to the front of the house. Mal bursts into cackles)

Celia: I hope you’ll still find it funny when you’re eating your meals through a straw.

Mal: ahh it’ll be worth it. C’mon kid

(They troop through the house and end up meeting Devie at the bottom of the stairs. Mal flings her arm over Celia’s eyes)

Mal: oh look. They’ve finally emerged from the nest (telepathically) Doug your buttons are disordered. Evie, my dear sister, you might wanna charge into your own clothes instead of Doug’s shirt

(They both look red faced and proceed to make the changes)

Mal: that’s better. (Verbally) lets go then

(Once outside they wait for the others. Jaylos, gilonnie and Jane walk up first)

Mal: where’s Ben. You said you found him

Jay: I also said I had a surprise for you

Jane: oh god tell me you didn’t

Gilonnie and Carlos: he did

Jane: fucking cats

Mal: cats? What about cats?

Jay: not cats. Ben.

Mal: uh-kay

Jay: 🎶come on out Ben🎶

(Ben poofs in. Mal promptly squeals in surprise)

Mal (euphorically, Unser her breath): it’s just like cats

Evie: ladies gentleman and pirates. I give you the acting queen of auradon

Mal: oh blow it out your ass sis or I’ll tell them about you’re last wardrobe choice

Evie: I’ll shut up

Lonnie: now that the king and his fiancé are safe. There’s something I’ve been waiting a year to do. You’re Uma yeah?

Uma: yeah

Lonnie: awesome

(She launches herself at Uma and tackles the sea witch to the ground)

Uma: what the fuck!

Lonnie: what’s your problem with Mal anyway? Huh? Is it that she’s more powerful then you? Or that she got away first? Oh don’t worry. I know what she did. And I don’t care. That’s who she was not who she is. But you did what she did. And you did worse. You were angry. And you lashed out at the first person you could. So how are you any different

Uma: get this crazy bitch offa me!

Mal: Lonnie! Lonnie, we’re cool now! So if could I uh hehe?

Lonnie: really? Well alright then.

Ben: got it all out of your system?

Lonnie: mostly. Might be some residual anger that’ll present itself at an inopportune time. But for now I’m ok.

Mal: cool. How about we get you a drink?

Lonnie: appletini?

Mal: more then doable. Let’s get you inside, Evie wipe that smirk off your face, and get you a nice appletini on the rocks yeah? (Lonnie nods) yeah...

(Mal and lonnie go in. Ben approaches Uma)

Ben: I’m sorry about her. She kinda got left out last year and today’s been awful for everyone concerned. She just snapped

Uma: don’t make allowances for her kid ok? I don’t make allowances for Harry

Carlos: no, of course not, you just let him get away with blue murder

Uma: don’t you have a genie to be cowering behind?

Carlos: not after the mirror, no. But I could repeat the process if you like? (Uma shuts up) good

(Jaylos go into the house. Uma turns around and looks at Jane who is not impressed)

Uma: hey, which one are you

Jane: I don’t want to talk to you. You enslaved my mother. And you boyfriend looked at me like I was food

(She follows jaylos into the house. Evie is tight lipped with barely contained glee)

Evie: today has been raining shower of crap but it’s gotten so much better in the last half hour

(Dizzy walks up to them followed by Hades, Elsa and the Hooks)

Dizzy: grandpa wouldn’t let jay keep Harry in a matchbox

Doug: awww honey, but you know what, there are mountains of cupcakes on the buffet table in the kitchen. Why don’t you go and show Celia?

Dizzy (turning to Celia): now you’re gonna see Wendy kinda magic I can do

(The two head inside)

Doug: I’m gonna head to the garage. You go inside, enjoy the party

Evie: meet me when you’re done?

Doug: goes without saying

(Devie leaves the patio, leaving Ben, Gil, Uma, Hades, Elsa and the Hooks)

Ben: I need to change, starting to feel chilly. Gil could I borrow some of your clothes? I’d poof but I knibda want time to think

Gil: sure

(The two brothers head inside)

Elsa: you haven’t lived until you’ve had my daughter cooking. And I’m starving so I shan’t keep you

Hades: I’ve heard only good things about my daughters cooking. So I’ll join you

Elsa: perfect(.)

(The two head inside)

Uma: tension much?

Cj: typical case of biological father vs adoptive mother both trying to assert their place in the child’s life

Harriet: huh?

Cj: pissing contest. You know what? You three head in. I just remembered something

(She heads to the garage where Doug’s pulling a motor engine in and out of a hole in the ground by a metal chain)

Cj: so you’re the half dwarf who grievously injured my brother

Doug: I stabbed Harry in the dick as he was trying to kill me. Also. It’s been a year. Get over it already.

Cj: a Hook doesn’t forget. Nor do they forgive.

Doug: you know there’s a subdivision of Eton here. I’m sure you’d be able to get a scholarship

Cj: hah. Boys club. And besides. When this is all over I’m going back home and doing away with my father.

Doug: yeah, sure, whatever. Now are you going to stand there gawking like a haddock or are you going to leave me to my own devices?

Cj: I should like to see what happens when the chain breaks or you’re strength gives up.

Doug: won’t break. Dwarven titanium. Magic.

Cj: I know what dwarven titanium is. I’m not as uneducated as the remaining plebs on the island

Doug: yeah. I know. I read your file. (He puts the engine down) I also know that you’re James Hook’s least favourite child. I know who your cousin is. And I know that you’re allergic to vinegar. Which is rather depressing since that’s the only readily available condiment on the island besides rock salt. Don’t mess with me kid. I’m the major-domo.

Cj: so you’re the hornbill to the maneless leonine. Alright then. If you’re do intelligent. Tell me. What goes through your mind when you’re face to face with the sister of the man you viciously attacked and left for dead?

Doug: of course he told you that. I don’t leave the numbskull for dead. Elsa, Merida and I delivered him to the ship and Uma revived him.

Cj: they wouldn’t lie. Not to

Doug: each other yes. But everyone else is fair game. Believe what you wanna believe. I’m going inside to make my kid a snack. I make a mean pb&j. Oh. And I’m not scared of you Miss Hook. I lived through my worst nightmare today so you’re of little to no consequence to me. And stay away from the cars. I’ll know if you don’t.

(He leaves her looking slightly shocked and runs into Mal on the patio bench. She’s holding a sandwich)

Mal: blt?

Doug: beef instead of bacon?

Mal: baloney. Fried on one side, salted on the other. Minced tinned tomatoes. Iceberg lettuce. I know my friends lunch orders.

Doug: you’re a marvel Mal

Mal: not really. I just cook when I’m nervous. Or bored. Or worrying. Or planning a party. Which in this case was all of the above.

Doug: ah. You covered (she hold up a beer bottle) naturally. Wanna sit

Mal: sure. I’ve been on my feet for most of the day

Doug: I’ve been thinking

Mal: yeah?

Doug: oh god this is gonna be difficult. I know you’ve made up your mind and Ben, Jay, everyone, won’t hold it against you if you choose not to. But I think it’s time

Mal: time for what?

Doug: to. Start helping

Mal: oh boy. Ok look. I get it. I do. I get it. But we tried. I tried. And came back with produce in my hair. We all did

Doug: that was six months ago. And besides. (He pulls her off the bench and has her face the window). Look. Vk and Ak. Somewhat peacefully. Coexisting. All because you kept a handle on things when everything else had gone crappy

Mal: eh. Though my cousins about to pelt my sister with apples. Hey jay? Could you? Thanks. What’re you suggesting bud?

Doug: start off with FaceTime. Say once a month Ben FaceTimes you when he goes to the island. And work your way up. It could work

Mal: my being rhere would grind everything to a halt. They’d be focused on me and not on Ben

Doug: true. But you have got to step up some more. You can’t hide behind the curtain forever

Mal: I know

Doug: come on

(This is when “collision of worlds” happens. After the song Mal turns to the party still going on inside)

Mal: I’ve been an ass haven’t I?

Doug: no, not an ass. Just yourself

Mal: somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better. I suppose I should go talk to him

Doug: you do that

Mal: before I forget. (She tackles him in a bear hug). Thank you. Now I’ll go.

(She poofs into Gils room where Ben is currently trying on a pair of aquamarine trousers with yellow braces)

Mal: you know if I had my way, that’d be all you’d have on

Ben: if you had your way, I’d still have the tattered bike pants on

Mal: touché. But why the 13th Doctor cosplay? And more to the point, why Gil’s 13th Doctor cosplay?

Ben: well I did just spend two hours traipsing through the forest, half naked, accompanied by, among others, your birth father and adoptive mother. So I feel like I should cover up a bit

Mal: fair is fair. Speaking of. A few questions. Who did it to you? Why did they do it? Can I kill them? And is it like my dragon form or is it a one and done deal?

Ben: my father, your birth mother and Chad. To get rid of me. Yes you can. And yes I can.

Gil: Harry ran his mouth and Ben switched and chased him for half a mile

Mal: he’s a moron. Oh and by the way. I sorry about the boys.

Gil: I know. I still don’t get why Adam did that

Ben: he’s a heartless up his own ass opportunistic bastard. That’s why

Mal: finally letting loose with the swears I see

Gil: “bastard” is nothing. My baby brother right here gave Adam the mother father uncle and aunt of all call outs. He even used the “count without the O” word

Mal: I’m impressed

Gil: it was amazing. I’m so proud

Ben: shoulders buddy, shoulders

Gil: right, sorry, my bad

Mal: before I forget. I made an omelette station downstairs. And a smoothie bar.

Gil: see ya!

(He rushes downstairs leaving bal alone)

Mal: so I’ve been thinking about the wedding

Ben (putting the coat on): yeah?

Mal: mhmm. I’m guessing we have to have it in the cathedral cause yknow, royalty, but we can still plan the reception yeah?

Ben: correct? What were you thinking

(Mal clicks her left hand and brings her arm down, shifting them to a new location in the process)

Mal: were you there your post coronation rave. Bookends and all that

Ben: oooh I like it

Mal: I’ve even thought of the song for our dance

Ben: I think I know where you’re going with this and I love it. And I’m in a tux. (He feels the top hat) with bunny ears. Huh

Mal: from my dream last night so was this

(She now has the purple Aurora dress on)

Ben (impressed): wow

Mal: not to fancy. But not too modern. And I’m wearing flats so stent dwarfed in comparison by me

Ben: well I could always activate my beast paws.

Mal: might give your mother a heart attack

Ben: true. True

Mal: well then your highness. Shall we practice?

Ben: yes we shall

(This is when “at the beginning” happens. After the song the school exterior melts back into the spare room. Mal’s eyes flash fuchsia and she collapses into Ben’s arms)

Ben: woah! You alright?

Mal: yeah. I just gotta talk to my father

(She switches back into her previous outfit and trots back downstairs where Evie’s hosting a singalong. This is when “better when I’m dancing” happens. After the song she walks outside)

Mal: dad I need a word. You too Uma. You’ll want to see this. (Once they’ve sat down she hands a scrap of paper to hades). Does this mean anything to you?

Hades (Jesse L Martin): “when the day becomes the night...no time for tea...before my final rhyme...return home....turn back the hands of...”. It’s one of the Cheshire cats forsaken riddles. Why do you ask?

Mal: I was talking to Ben just now and everything turned dark fuchsia for a sec, like when my eyes when I use magic, and I heard Doctor Facillier say that in my head. It’s not a prophecy is it?

Hades: no. The last prophecy I remember hearing was the Fates telling me I’d rule the cosmos. Followed by Herc beating me. Why would you think it’s a prophecy?

Mal: uhhhh

Uma: no. NO! YOU DO NOT GET THAT AS WELL AS EVERYTHING ELSE! I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN

Hades: I’m afraid I’m not following

Mal: I’ve got all the hallmarks. Powerful parents. Double heritage. Annoying brother. Really it should be Ben though. Or you cuz

Uma: really? Me?

Mal: yah. You’re much better qualified

Hades: haha. It’s funny. You’ve spent so much time trying to kill her. And she still think you’re better than her

Uma: what’s your point?

Hades (smiling smugly, he’s eyes glowing bright yellow): be very careful about who you piss off my dear

Uma: don’t test me uncle

Hades: and don’t test ME niece

Mal: >snickers<. Sorry. Anyway. So rhere really isn’t a prophecy built around me?

Hades: nope. not even close

The cousins: oh thank god

Hades: would it really be so bad if it were though?

Mal: most likely yes

Uma: she doesn’t even have the cajones necessary to get kids off the island. Why would she be so sort of cliched chosen one

Mal: HEY! You know why I don’t go. I told you why I don’t go. My reasons are my reasons. And you don’t get to say anything to me after the crap you’ve pulled to one up me when I personally couldn’t care less

Uma (oh so very smug): face it cousin. I’ve got moral high ground in this one

Mal: and you had face it “cousin”, that you have a thing for my brother

Uma: not really no seeing as I hate him and he’s only into guys...

Mal: not the fun one. The rat one

Uma (experiencing face freeze): huh?

Mal: well Harry’s my brother and you’re my second cousin which means he’s also your second cousin. And if I read the signals right possibly your almost stepbrother

Uma: I’m gonna kill you

Hades: no you won’t niece. It doesn’t matter. You knew him long before your father and I -ahem- “joined” together and your Olympian dna only counts the parents with said dna. You’re not related to my second son, Uma. And I have absolutely no intention at all of claiming you as my adoptive daughter. So, to use the modern turn of phrase, you’re golden. Is that better

Uma: sort of

Mal (at the same time as Uma): dammit.

Hades: good. Now that that’s all settled. Shall we rejoin the party?

Uma: in a minute

Hades: oh Kronos what is it now?

Uma: did you bring me out here just to say that Harry’s my cousin? Or to talk about the prophecy that isn’t?

Mal: first one. But you pressed my buttons so I wanted to throw you from your comfort zone

Uma (nodding): alright. I respect that. HOWEVER! Don’t look at me like that dragonhide. However. The fact remains you’ve gotta grow a pair and get out there. Your own feelings be damned. It’s not about you

Mal: When has it ever been about me?

Uma: butterfinger boy’s made his whole vendetta about you lousing up his home

Mal: thank you Uma, thanks for the help

Hades: ooh. I know what to do

Mal: smite Harry and save us from his unneeded existence?

Hades: no. You need a pep talk

Mal: no. Please don’t

Uma: actually. I wanna hear what he has to say

Hades: thank you Uma. But you probably won’t like what I have to say

(This is when “who I am” happens)

[01010010-posts]

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕���💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’(  love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”

[jflashandclash]

Traitors of Olympus IV: Fall of the Sun

Thirty-Eight: Kalypso

Join Our Club; We have Hats

             All Kally could do was stare for a moment: watching her father get knocked out of the sky, seeing the dead encircle the camp, gawking as Python smashed her cabin and any of her half-siblings still inside, hearing Phobetor’s dreaded flute, tensing when Atë turned to cut off her and Alabaster’s path to Pax and his mother.

           Kally swallowed. Why had they let Atë walk with them from the tent? Kally wanted to tear off Pax’s ear for whatever deal he made to get Frank’s stick back, since she guessed Atë wouldn’t accept Pax doing Atë’s chores for her for a week, or—if she did—those chores would involve a few more bodies than Pax would want. Kally just hoped Pax was joking about making out with Atë, but the twist in her gut and the fact that he’d referred to his deal as “rash” made her know otherwise.

           “Out of our way,” Alabaster snarled. He put the Cloven Terror’s ram skull helm over his head. Magical power sparked around him. The runes on his pants and shirt glowed to life and smoke seemed to trail out of the sleeves. He flicked out a Mist card and hissed a word.

           A two-pronged staff appeared in his hand.

           Something exploded over Atë’s shoulder.

           Kally’s stomach dropped to see that someone had been set on fire in the strawberry fields.

           Atë cocked her head to one side, those red eyes examining Alabaster like those of a doll. Her wild magenta, red, black, and white hair tussled with the movement. She fingered her baseball bat with nails shoved through it, and Kally wondered if the Goddess of Ruin and Mischief preferred that over her tire iron.

           “So rash, Alabaster, assuming everything is logical. Assuming you can predict life,” Atë said. Her eyes darted to Kally and she smiled in a hollow way that made Kally think of a mannequin.

           Kally stiffened, clutched her Argonaut statue, and prepared for an attack.

           Atë poofed into a puff of black smoke.

           Alabaster’s eyes went wide so Kally could see the emerald color. He reached for Kally, his mouth moving to cast—what Kally assumed to be—a protection spell.

           But, Atë didn’t reappear beside Kally.

           Smoke puffed into existence beside Alabaster’s head. Atë materialized in the air near him, her tire iron in mid-swing.[1]

           Kally shouted.

           The tire iron caught him square across the jaw.

           Bone and metal crunched.

           An unearthly wail erupted from him, one that sounded less like a scream and more a gargling of panicked noises.

           Alabaster tumbled away from the goddess, like the whole thing had been a puppet show; and he, just a pile of rags and string.

           Kally wouldn’t have time to wind up her discus. Instead, she sprinted towards them.

           Alabaster continued to make that heaving gargle of noises. He tried to crawl onto all fours, but collapsed.

           “Tell me, child of Hecate, how does a spell caster still cast spells without a tongue?” Atë asked, kneeling beside him. She reached towards him with her nailed bat, like she wanted to poke his face.

           When Kally was within half a second of punting Atë in the head, smoke shuddered around her silhouette.

           The Goddess of Ruin and Mischief vanished.

           Kally held her Argonaut statue ready—whether as a shield or a weapon, she didn’t care—for Pax’s half sister to reappear. The goddess poofed back into existence half a soccer field away, beside Melinoe, advancing towards the camp.

           Kally didn’t want to sob in relief. She feared the goddess would notice and return to flick Kally and Alabaster into the next state. For some reason, she knew Atë wouldn’t. The goddess didn’t like straight forward destruction.

           Kally dropped to her knees beside Alabaster.

           He kept making that choked, gargled sound. His whole body trembled violently.

           Once Kally got close enough, she could see that Alabaster still had a tongue. That wasn’t the problem.

           Despite all the bodies she’d attended to, Kally felt nauseous. The lower corner of the Cloven Terror helmet had been smashed off, leaving the bottom right of Alabaster’s face exposed. Blood dribbled from his mouth and down his neck. Alabaster’s jawbone protruded out through his skin along his right jaw, with more blood oozing from around the jutting bone. The mandible was neatly broken, like Atë had snapped it in two before reinserting it into his face. From his open mouth, Kally saw the back half of his right molars caved down with the snapped bone, while the others stayed in line with the rest of his face.

           Kally couldn’t believe he was still conscious. She needed to get him away from the battle. She needed to sit him up, so he wouldn’t choke on his own blood.

           “I’m sorry,” she whispered, then grabbed him under the arms to drag him back towards the Roman’s death tent. She didn’t think they’d walked that far when they were following Atë and Pax back towards the camp, but, with each pained gag from Alabaster, she felt like it was through Tartarus and back.[2]

           Her own breath went ragged with panic. As she approached the tent, she tried not to think about the screams behind her, or the laughter, or how her ears popped and the barometric pressure dropped the way it did when Axel used Mayan magic. She wished Axel were here and capable for battle. He knew how to lead them.

           Once they reached the tent, Kally propped Alabaster up against one of the tent’s poles.

           Kally floundered in her messenger bag for an ambrosia square. She thought she’d restocked and almost jumped for joy when she found one pressed between the pages of her journal.

           Kally popped it into her mouth, chewed, then withdrew it. She didn’t realize that she was repeating, “I’m sorry,” as she carefully slipped the mashed up medicine towards the back of his throat, past his ruined jaw line.

           Alabaster choked again. The entire lower half of his face was bruising to a deep purple. His emerald eyes couldn’t focus.

           Kally didn’t know what to do. Her instinct said she would need to wire his mouth shut, that she might need to perform surgery to fix him up and that she needed to calm down to check if his jaw was dislocated on top of being broken.

           But, Kally knew the camp needed her.

           Alabaster made the choice for her.

           His hands trembled violently as he raised them to his head. A garbled squeal of pain erupted from his mouth as he dislodged the Cloven Terror helm.

           He motioned her closer.

           As Kally leaned in, Alabaster gently set the helm atop her head.

           Hello, Child of the Sun, a voice deeper and darker than Alabaster’s hissed inside her mind, Welcome to the Triple A Chimera. Let’s seek vengeance for my fallen master and my cracked face.

 [1] Mel betanote: “Don’t you dare kill Alabaster, Jack!!!”

[2] You know, just not the creepy “spa” kind of Tartarus.

[fountainpenguin]

If you were given the opportunity to reboot FOP from the ground up, what would you change, shake up, or put your own spin on?

I'll have to give this a short answer, I no joke spent over 2 hours replying to this, then added a Read More and Tumblr told me that my post was too out of this world and it broke the editor. It kicked me out in a split second without any opportunity to save. Sorry to everyone who has to scroll past my stuff in the future, but I'm not living through this again. Read Mores have no place on my blog.

I'm furious because 1) I tried to copy-paste out of this editor like I always do and save in an external place, but the new editor is busted and only copies one paragraph when you do CTRL-A so I gave up, and 2) literally the last sentence I wrote before typing that was "Before my hiatus, Read Mores broke stuff, but I'm willing to give this another try." It's not even the same error it used to be. I can't. I can't.

At least we're friends and I think you know a lot of my thoughts anyway. Sorry it took so long to write an answer to this message, but I've already let it sit for so long that I HAVE to get it out of my inbox now or I'll never go back to it after losing everything :/ I can't believe that just happened. How ironic that one of the main reasons I went on hiatus was because stuff kept breaking and then it's worse when I return. Bleh.

So... Here's the short version of things I can remember talking about:

Update world lore, especially regarding Anti-Fairies. Anti-Fairies debuted in Season 2 and didn't reappear until Season 5; Anti-Fairy World itself made its first appearance in Season 6 because the Anti-Fairies were only seen in jail before that. Anti-Fairy World is kind of barren and stereotypical, and the general vibe of Anti-Fairies is that they are all evil because their magic revolves around bad luck. I'd prefer some gray area. I also feel like the characterizations for Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda were rushed and we should say it.

Logically I know that Anti-Wanda can be said to parallel Wanda's high-class mafia upbringing, but I doubt that was planned since Wanda's family only showed up in Season 5. In another universe, we could have had a classy evil queen. I love the grubby gal, but there are so many cool aesthetics she could have had instead. The Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda vibe doesn't bring anything to the table that Cosmo and Wanda didn't already have unless you take creative liberties.

Maps. Maps would have been great.

Designs. Cosmo, Crocker, and Dad really don't need the same shirt. Wanda's outfit is pretty bland too, and it's honestly a shame that Anti-Cosmo got a unique outfit but Anti-Wanda's is just a recolor of Wanda's. See also, classy queen.

Also I've never liked Timmy's Channel Chasers adult design; I just don't think it's in character. I feel like his body type would be much closer to his parents, and the existing one is just too extreme for my preferences. Doesn't say "Timmy the average kid" to me.

"Fairly Odd Baby" - As much as I enjoy the idea of Fairies placing a ban on babies because they're destructive and Fairy World likes to push away its problems, I'd have introduced Poof as part of an announcement that Cosmo and Wanda had been expecting a baby for 100 to 1000 years. Their lifespans are so long, it wouldn't be out of the question. A reveal episode could have been fun.

I also don't think I would have chosen to leave Poof a baby who can't speak for that long; I think he has a fun personality (Sasses Foop, deliberately puts Foop in harm's way, but also he's super chill and nice and likes sports) and I would have liked to see more episodes where he talks. I don't love how he was shipped to boarding school as soon as he was able to talk and dialogue was needed.

Vicky takes Mark back onscreen. She canonically decided she wanted to start dating him again, after she found out he was an alien and she broke up with him. She made the choice to take back her alien boyfriend and she loves him and we should talk about it. I'm obsessed with them and will forever treasure the deleted "Foul Balled" scene of them holding hands at the senior home while Mark is in his squid form. I support Vicky becoming the shapeshifting queen of a violent planet and being extremely in love with her squid husband.

Chloe / A.J. friendship. A.J. ended world hunger in Season 2 and he built a time machine a few seasons later, I feel like those two would have really hit it off.

More episodes of Timmy playing soccer. I will not re-elaborate.

More of side characters I love, like Molly and Kevin. I love them. I love Kevin falling farther and farther behind his uncle when they walk together, I love Timmy introducing himself to Molly's fairy by shaking her hand... They might be side characters but I feel like they add a lot more to the world and character dynamics in their few scenes than many of the characters do.

Sharing fairies. Timmy sharing fairies with Chloe (or Kevin) as part of a temporary program (like she was just here for one school year before her parents moved again). I think one of the issues people have with Chloe is that it feels like she's here for the rest of Timmy's fairy-related life, and I think a few months of hanging out with her would have been plenty and then there would have been a reason for her to leave the canon afterwards.

Make Chloe Dinkleberg's niece. My favorite headcanon. Also a perfect explanation for why Chloe's family would move to Timmy's street. Also a hilarious parallel of Timmy seething with frustration at his "perfect" neighbor despite spending the entire series making fun of his dad for doing the same thing.

More Timmy/Chloe "step-sibling" interactions. I support Timmy "I will sit with you while you have an hour-long panic attack" Turner in "The Booby Trap" but I cannot emphasize enough that I equally support Timmy "Will take a call from Chloe, listen to her explain that she vaporized a juice box, then hang up and go to bed" Turner. They are step-siblings...

Timmy, Chloe, and Kevin. I support Timmy - Chloe - Kevin trio interactions in general. They're a comedic trio and I want them to support each other.

Gary and Betty. Unironically, we need to talk more about Gary and Betty canonically being aware of the magical world. Or at least they adjusted really fast to being teleported from California to Florida and back again. Also we should talk about that time Gary rang Sanderson on his cell phone, which gets funnier the longer you think about it. Also I love them and we should talk about the deleted "Totally Spaced Out" scene where they tried to flee to Mexico together.

Ending the series with a proper send-off. I'm not a fan of Timmy keeping his magical memories after losing Cosmo and Wanda. Being the protagonist doesn't make him immune. I feel like there are so many ways this could have been done in a sentimental way that people would have loved... I'm sad we didn't get a proper send-off.

On the list of things we don't need to change - Imaginary Gary, Norm, Mark, Molly, Jorgen, the Pixies, Flappy Bob, Foop, and Ed Leadly. They are flawless, 10 of 10. We also do not need to change Chloe casually swearing, but meanwhile Timmy will call you out for saying "Moron" on the radio, and we definitely don't need to change "This isn't a fancy French restaurant- this is a black hole!"

I love the Pixies. If they didn't exist, I would have come along and prepped some worldbuilding about characters who maintain magical paperwork. I love my snarky monotone wasp boys.

Also I just want to shout-out Chloe and Kevin and their personalities being hilarious. I think there are several Chloe-centric episodes that have flawed storytelling, but I do genuinely enjoy the character you're left with after brushing off some of her exaggerated perfectionism.

Kevin has some of the best dialogue in the entire series, and those two just seem to write themselves when you pit them together. I like the mental image of Chloe venting to Timmy about how unfair it is that Crocker shows him favoritism and then it slowly dawns on her that she also has a history of getting a lot of favoritism.

Thanks for the ask! I'm sad I lost the full responses, but I think I've learned my lesson and will draft in an external doc first. Please learn from my mistakes, I will not take back my venting >:(

Even if I lost it, it's nice to take some time and think about some answers to these things. I'm also pretty satisfied that I was able to make this post long enough to feel like a good answer. Yay.

[creativerogues]

Creating Artifacts...

Artifacts, with their detailed histories and powerful effects, are personal things, so it makes sense that the DM should create artifacts unique to an individual campaign. 

In fact, that's just what the DM should do. 

Every campaign should have artifacts that are truly unique to it, thereby ensuring that the DM's world is different from every other campaign out there. 

Great idea, the DM may say, but how do I do it? 

Don't worry. It's really not that hard. 

By following a few simple guidelines, DMs discover that artifacts practically create themselves. 

#1: ARTIFACTS CHEAT

Artifacts are about wonder—not power like many players think. 

Artifacts are the highest of all magic in a normal campaign, so they have to be surprising, awe-inspiring, and unpredictable; in other words, all the things that make the world wondrous. 

Artifacts can't be ho-hum devices bound by the standard rules of magical devices—the dreary realities of charges, command words, and the like. 

Artifacts exist to break the rules. 

By the strict game rules, nobody could build the Machine of Lum the Mad—but Lum did. 

By the game rules, no one would make the Rod of Seven Parts—but it was made. 

The pseudo-scientific Apparatus doesn't conform to the rules for spells and magical devices—but it doesn't matter. 

It's the effect that is important, the feel of wonder and mystery that is added to the campaign. 

When creating an artifact, consider first the effect. 

A good idea is to choose something that is impossible by normal spells and magical items. 

This makes the artifact special and desirable. 

The effect doesn't have to be all-powerful, only impossible by the current rules. 

Make that the principal effect of the artifact.

This artifact makes a wizard's spells permanent, so they never have to memorize spells. 

That's pretty powerful and impossible, and it's a good example for an artifact's effect. 

So, where does one go next?

#2: ARTIFACTS ARE BORN, NOT MADE

Any wizards or priests worth half their salt can make a magical item. 

They get a bunch of materials, research a few spells, lock themselves away in a tower or cellar, and poof-bingo-bango!— there's a magical item. 

While the materials and steps needed may be a mystery, the process itself is not mysterious. 

Everyone knows spellcasters make magical items, so no one is surprised when Jalarko the Magnificent comes out of his tower waving a long sword +1. 

Artifacts, though, are not just things. 

They quickly take on a life of their own. 

It's better to imagine an artifact as being born rather than built. 

Birth implies mystery and strangeness, wonder beyond a mere manufacturing process. 

As much as characters might like to, nobody in the present history of a campaign "makes" artifacts. 

Artifacts always come from times more distant, a few centuries to a few millennia in the past. 

Sometimes the maker and the circumstances of the device's creation are well known; more often, however, the history of who did what and what was done is vague and uncertain. 

It is said that this artifact, the Crown of Memory, was a gift to the archmage Forlin from his grateful former apprentices, now mighty mages themselves. In his advanced years, their beloved master's memory was not all it could have been, and so for his 180th birthday they sought a solution. Their gift decided, each worked his part in secrecy, fashioning and adding a little more to the crown without yet knowing what the others had done. It is said that one of them even pleaded to the powers of magic for aid in the task. Perhaps his cries were heard, for the Crown was the result.

#3: EVERY ARTIFACT HAS A TALE

Simply saying that an artifact is, is not enough. 

Artifacts come wrapped in long chains of history and legend that bind them to specific places and things. 

Part of this is in the mystery of their birth—who first made them, who first used them, who first died at their hands—but their legends reach beyond this.

Artifacts are like proverbial bad pennies, resurfacing time and time again to wreak havoc, inspire tragedy, or save the day. 

Each appearance is a mini-epic in which the artifact plays a central role. 

No tale is ever, "Oh by the way, he used this artifact he found." 

Instead, the artifact changes the hero (or heroine); sometimes for the better, often for the worse, and then like an actor whose part is finished, it disappears from the stage. 

Imagine that artifacts have wills of their own. 

They allow themselves to be discovered and used and they leave when the time is done. 

One practical effect of coming up with a colorful tale is that it provides the DM with the ammunition needed for adventures and so forth, in the form of rumors, legends, and hints for the campaign. 

Since learning the powers of any artifact is supposed to be hard, these tales (most likely already prepared) may be the best sources of meager information for the player characters.

When the archmage finally died, dissension rose among his loyal students. Some wanted to inter the treasure with their master, while others decried this ivaste. The argument was settled when Liras seized the Crown and claimed it as her own. The wrath of all the others turned upon her, but, aided by the Crown, Liras slew them all. Ambition fueled a madness in her and so, with the Crown's might, she overthrew the rightful king and proclaimed the Sorcerous Dynasty. Terrible was her rule, as she crushed any who opposed her. At last the hero Turoc, aided by a bound fiend, brought an end to her reign. Alas for Turoc, the fiend tricked the warrior into undoing its bond. Claiming the Crown as its prize, it slew its former master and fled from this plane. Perhaps it and the Crown still remain in the Abyss.

#4: EVERY ARTIFACT HAS ITS PRICE

The old maxim "with great power comes great responsibility" couldn't be more true in the case of artifacts. 

Nothing is free or easy about these devices. 

There are always costs, drawbacks, or outright curses tied to their use. 

This has two effects, both important for the campaign. 

First, an effective curse quickly discourages any potential abuse of the artifact's powers. 

Risking possession or the arrival of a major fiend each time a power is used generally promotes cautious behavior on the part of the player characters. 

Second, by giving the player characters an artifact fraught with its own perils that must be used in the adventure, the DM generates tension. 

"Do I dare call upon the powers of the Scepter of the Sorcerer Kings, or should I wait and hope to get out of this alive some other way?" 

Of course, to be truly effective, the player characters should have some idea of what the curse is, preferably by learning the supposed fates of previous owners.

From the adventure standpoint, a good curse adds a necessary touch of drama and pathos to an item's history. 

It is far more memorable to say Ethganir Heartbow used the Axe of the Emperors to save the city, only to have it sap his life away, than to just say he used it and later got killed. 

This balance between weal and woe, need and risk, is what makes artifacts exciting to use.

The Crown holds trapped within it Liras's spirit. Once it longed for power, but centuries in the Abyss have driven it vengefully mad. Any whoever wears the Crown risks activating the mad spirit trapped within...

[khrow-shinku]

The Great War S11

D&D 5e Campaign

The Great War

 Session 11

 Our heroes get ejected out of the rook fortress once the time is up. The party makes their way back to town where something strange has happened and there are guards and people lining the streets. Turns out something had happened at the temple and orphanage. Everyone goes to check on the orphanage only to meet someone not from their realm who happens to be a part of Angra’s guild and is the new secretary of the orphanage. They also find  out some of the children were injured but are doing better. They exit the building only to find M.A.W., Tinkerman’s bear,  surrounded by guards who are all sitting in a circle around it protecting it. The party then heads to the council building and are led inside by guards where the summit meeting is still going on (apparently this shit lasts for like a month). It is there that everyone in the room turns and stares at Tinkerman.

Tinkerman noticing all the eyes are on him speaks up, “Ok, why is everyone looking at me? I was told that there was news for us so what is going on?” The speaker who is running the meeting and is from Tinkerman’s empire informs him that it has been discovered that many of the officials in the government of his country were corrupt, in fact all of them were, that were higher rank than him. Seems as though their god let everyone get emotions and control over these emotions. In doing so it enlightened everyone in the country to their leaders' corruption, they had been overcome by greed and already dismantled the one in charge of the country who built the warforged and his apprentice. For this they were all dismantled, meaning Tinkerman who is the only one left of office who can build and create their kind is now the single most important person in their empire and as such is now their ruler, and is in charge of the Clockwork Empire. Tinkerman is taken back by this but accepts his duty and vows to do everything he can for his people.

The party then notices that the spider queen no longer has her illusion up and everyone can see her for what she is. Rin leans down and asks the queen of Dustreodan what was going on, why was her illusion spell down? That is when she informs everyone that they knew all along that the queen of Crecia was a spider creature. JJJ, visibly shocked by this realization, is taken back and stumbles into a guard that was standing next to the wall.  JJJ explains that well as long as you aren’t evil… I am still a little creeped out that you are a spider, no offense my lady, it is just I have a deep fear of spiders. The queen chuckles and says “Oh it is quite alright my dear knight. I was aware of your fear. That along with the recent troubling encounters your party has had is why I had cloaked myself before although it seems some of you were able to see straight through that, which is impressive.” JJJ studders, “Kn-n-n-night? I’m a knight?” His queen nods explains that yes he was indeed a knight, her people had looked into his family records and found out he is linked to royalty in the kingdom and as such is a Knight of Crecia.” JJJ kneels to his queen and says how honored he is to be a knight. The party congratulates him on his new rank.(HAH, hey dm nice touch, he is now Sir John like in robin hood. He is a toilet HAHAHA. Yeah yeah I know it would go by his last name and be Sir Joel but come on it is still funny.) 

Tinkerman then asks about the guards in town and the temple and orphanage, to which the party is informed that a radical group had attacked both locations. As soon as Tinkerman had his answer Rin butted in, “Hold up a min. Ok I get that everyone else here might know you were this spider creature but you had a strong reaction to finding out about Ara's possible brother and I am pretty sure you could tell I could see through your illusion. Then right after we left here and was back at the tavern we were attacked by a bunch of minions that looked like miniature versions of you. Not you specifically, but your species of creature. Explain that huh? Kind of a coincidence with that timing right.” The queen let out a heavy sigh and agreed it did make her look suspicious but it wasn’t her. There is another faction of her race in her kingdom who are in favor of this war starting and are actively helping to start it. Rin nodded and agreed that was fair enough and sound logic so she apologized for being suspicious and dropped it. It is at this time that Rin notices everyone looking at her kind of curious about the radical change to her looks in a matter of just a few days while Tinkerman updates the leaders on what they found out about in that cave and that it had disappeared, and how they met an archdemon who was not evil and had informed them the same that the talkative tarrasque they had met twice before had informed them, that it appears that whoever is trying to start this war is trying to recruit demons and other creatures from that realm. However apparently most want nothing to do with him and do not want this war to happen either. So Tinkerman asks that when they see an extremely powerful creature like that, that they first try diplomacy as it seems that it will be effective. That is when Rin chimes in and says yeah, speaking of creatures from the darker planes, turns out I’m part abyssal from my grandfather's side on my mortal mother’s side. The archdemon we met was nice enough to fill me with info on the ancestry of demons and abyssal and educate me about the part of me I knew nothing about. The thing is I have no clue who my grandfather is and my celestial mother only told me to blame my grandpa for these new features. So again please be nice to the ones we have assumed were evil for all these years. It really seems they are possibly victims of this situation as much as our world is. It is at this time that a random sheet of paper poofs into Rin’s hands.  The note reads: “Your mortal mother was half celestial, half moon elf. Your grandfather is TIMEless.” Rin slowly reads the words out loud as the gears in her head starts turning as she tries to connect the dots. Her grandfather's name can not be mentioned as no one has yet to say his name, everyone refuses to say it so obviously it is a taboo.  The emphasis on the word time, the strange things that have happened around the party. Rin lets out an audible gasp as she puts it together. “My grandfather is the controller of time.” It all makes sense now, she remembered reading about it in the books in the royal library back home. The Time Lord is never named, he exists outside of time and is the keeper of time and not even celestials are allowed to speak his name. However Rin wasn’t given much time to let this soak in as they heard a loud thunderclap come from outside the building. The party ran outside to see what it was and before they could get out of the building there was another thunderclap, this one so loud it shook the whole building.

The party exits the building to find a smoldering crater in the middle of town. Upon investigating it the  party finds a piece of chest armor made with celestial steel with a cut down the center of it and a piece of fabric that is darker than black clung to it.. Paul who recognizes it rushes over to grab it while tinkerman is examining it. As soon the rogue touches it, it turns into a black stone. The armor they found seems to harm anyone who touches it until Rin touches it.It doesn’t hurt her, instead it magically melds itself onto her skin phasing through her other armor and repairing itself. Tinkerman notices on the shoulder of the armor is his personal signature that no one can replicate because it has its own special magic attached to it. The only problem is, Tinkerman has never worked with celestial steel before or ever made such armor. So where or when, did this armor come from? Tinkerman pondered. The party is then teleported to the shadow realm where they see a familiar face.

The party is greeted by Vivec who tells them they have arrived in the shadow realm, a day before a dramatic event that happened in the past of the nameless rogue known as Paul. Vivec also explained that we were brought here to stop it from happening. The party followed the rogue who was the only one who knew the land, as he led them to the capital city. On their way to the capital they were jumped by some warriors who were a part of the army that had laid waste to Paul’s family in the past. Rin gets angry at them for having bigger tits than her, as after the enlightening that the archdemon gave her on all things demon and sexual, she realized people prefer bigger tits and now is convinced her tits are why men and women don’t approach her. After defeating these warriors Paul chopped off their heads and put their heads on spikes and laid their bodies below them on the ground with their shield covering, then Wade pops out and ties the shields on the poles to expose the bodies for further humiliation after catching a dagger that Paul had thrown at him. They make their way to the capital where they are stopped by guards. However once Paul shows them the stone and they instantly place their heads on the ground before him. Paul asks them to escort the party to the castle. Once they arrive at the castle again the royal guard question these actions and again are brought to humility when they see the stone and realize who he is. This time Paul asks for the king. The guard shows them to the king where Paul shows the king who he really is by having the king summon his son. They then go out into another room to have a conversation. When they return Paul announces his name is Ka’ar (no wonder he never gave anyone his name, how the hell do you even pronounce that? Car? What is he the crow? For his sake I hope not,  the last pale guy who used that name died young.) He then announces that he is staying to assist his family in their escape. The party chose to join him in this endeavor. Ka’ar orders the guards to give the party comfortable rooms to sleep within the castle walls and that the party is to be given the best of everything, even the equipment that is in the castle. Tinkerman was granted access to the library of the king of the shadow realm. Tinkerman sets himself to learning the languages of the shadow realm, which are Netherese and Shadow Speak. As the rest of the party go to the rooms provided to them with a heavy guard in the hall to protect them from any wrongdoing in the night.

[acrobat-elle]

Make A Wish (4/4)

Stuck in the Enchanted Forest after her wish was granted, Emma seeks out Killian. She doesn’t expect what she finds. Canon divergence from 6x10, including spoilers for 6x11 in this chapter.

Endless thanks to @caprelloidea for reading over this for me and just being an amazing fic cheerleader in general. Also tagging @laschatzi because she asked :).

Rating: T for this chapter, M overall

Word count: 5141

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

AO3 | FF.net

Killian takes her to the beanstalk on horseback. Emma is grateful for the few hours it takes them, an excuse to shamelessly wrap herself around him as she sits in the back of the saddle. Her hands start off holding his hips before eventually clasping themselves across his front, her cheek resting between his shoulder blades.

They won't have much longer if their mission is successful, the threat of the Evil Queen loose in Storybrooke more than enough to hurry them along. But when her hand reaches up and closes over his where he holds the reins she closes her eyes, squeezing him tight against her. It's all they have left - all he has left - and she won't spend a single moment without her hands on his skin if she can help it. They don't talk, don't need to, and Emma is grateful that she can't see Killian's face as they ride, knowing she couldn't handle it.

It looks much the same as it did before, towering up into the sky and forcing them to lean back to take all of it in. "Do you think this thing is still enchanted by the giant?" she asks, squinting her eyes against the sun. "I don't have any memories of his story being different in this version of things."

"Nor do I," he confirms, still looking up. "I suppose there's only one way to find out." Before she can protest, he approaches the beanstalk and places a tentative hand against it.

The force of its magic throws him a good ten feet before he lands on his back.

She's at his side in an instant. "Well," he gets out when his breath returns to him, "that answers that question."

Emma laughs, relieved that he's only injured his pride. "You are such a dumbass, you know that?"

He grins up at her. "And you love me for it."

She smiles back, grasping his hand and helping him to his feet. "Knock it off with this whole throwing-yourself-in-the-line-of-fire thing. I don't need you to break a hip."

"I'm quite spry, thank you. Or was last night not proof enough for you?"

She can feel her cheeks flush at the memory, burning even hotter when he raises a cocky eyebrow. "Look, we don't need to climb. I can just poof us up to the top." She reaches into their satchel, pulling out the royal scroll she prepared before they left and holding it up between them. "You ready?"

"Aye." He nods to the parchment in her hands. "Do you think this will work?"

"It has to. If it doesn't I'll freeze him with magic and just take the bean he has, but I…" she trails off. "I don't want it to come to that. He deserves more."

He sighs, but keeps his expression light. "We all do."

"Yeah," she says, her voice catching in her throat. "You do."

He holds her hand as she transports them to the top.

The giant is so startled by her sudden appearance - whether it's because a princess has deigned to visit him or because he's shocked at her display of magic - that he nearly forgets to be angry. Emma summons every memory of her childhood in this place, every lesson in deportment and diplomacy drilled into her from a young age when she announces herself and hands him the scroll. She made it as large as possible but it's still comically tiny in his hands, but the way his face changes as he reads it calms her rapidly beating heart.

As it turns out, Anton's soft heart is surprisingly receptive to a formal royal apology for the treatment of giants at the hands of humans. It doesn't hurt that the purveyors of the message are two orphans thoroughly in sympathy with his predicament. It takes some convincing - he's not stupid, after all - but when they finally get through to him it's a weight lifted, Killian's joyous smile and Anton's tears only adding to the occasion.

When he offers the damaged bean hanging around his neck, it's all Emma can do not to cry.

Lake Nostros is vibrant and beautiful, so unlike the dried-up landscape Emma remembers from her last experience there. She pulls the bean from around her neck, looking from Killian to the water and then back again, and the finality of it all settles heavy on her shoulders.

She glances to Regina and Robin. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Of course." Regina grabs at Robin's arm and pulls him away, giving them the privacy they need. Regina's been uncharacteristically contrite since their last conversation, and while it's not quite a real apology, it's a start.

He sidles up to her and she sighs when his forehead touches hers, his hand soft at her hip. "So," he says, waiting quietly.

"So." She swallows hard, stepping closer into his space, hands pressed to his chest.

"Remember the last time we were here?" he asks, and she smiles at the memory, at how far they've come. "I think I prefer holding you to fighting you with a sword."

"You liked the sword fight."

"That I did," he chuckles. "Despite what I said, your form was terrible."

"Give me a break. That was like the second time I ever held a sword, okay?"

"And you've gotten much better since then," he says fondly, nose just touching hers.

"Yeah, well, I had a good teacher."

"Aye," he whispers, just before pressing his lips to hers. His kiss is soft and light, just a whisper against her skin and her heart aches at the sweetness of it. His eyes remain closed when he pulls back and only then can she see how nervous he is, the tension in his shoulders and the shallowness of his breath. Death is terrifying enough but this, the knowledge that everything about him will cease to exist in a few minutes is something else entirely.

Her hands find his face, her thumbs rubbing gently at his cheeks, and his eyes are damp when they finally open. A pained smile crosses his face. "I'm getting quite tired of saying goodbye to you, love."

She sighs, bitter around the edges. "So am I. I just… I love you. So much. And I'm so sorry. I don't know what else I can say, I just - "

"Shhh." He shakes his head and leans in to whisper in her ear. "You don't need to say anything. Just be here with me for a moment."

His arms circle around her and she follows suit, sinking into the warmth and the strength of him as they sway together. She won't let herself cry, determined to be strong for him, but still buries her face in his shoulder and breathes him in while he does the same. It's not enough, nothing will ever be enough for Emma when it comes to Killian, but she holds him and waits, letting him decide when he's able to let go.

It's far too soon when his grip loosens and they pull regretfully apart. "You'd best be getting home now."

"Yeah," she says, a little shaky. "Just let me do one thing first." He eyes her curiously when she grabs his left wrist, looking down at the false hand he still wears. She takes a deep breath and pulls from within her, summoning the warm glow of her magic and bringing it forth in a burst of light. She watches his face as he examines her handiwork, and his grateful smile when he realizes she's returned his hook to its rightful place threatens to break her where she stands.

"There we go," she manages to get out, and his smile softens in understanding.

The fingers of one hand lace with his and she takes his hook in the other as he steps in close. "Thank you, love. For everything." That he's able to pack so much into so few words astonishes her.

She can only nod and he kisses her once more, long and deep and she can feel the thanks in it, the love in it, and she does her best to give it back to him.

"I love you," he whispers against her lips. "Safe travels, Emma."

"I love you too," she chokes out as he backs away. She holds his hand as long as possible, the tips of their fingers sliding across each other's as they finally break apart. She turns, knowing she won't be able to go through with this if she looks at his face, and makes her way to the edge of the water.

She's joined in short order by Robin and Regina. "You ready?" Regina asks.

"As I'll ever be. Let's do it."

Emma removes the bean from around her neck and hands it off, happy to give this task to Regina while she braces herself. The waters restore the bean easily, but she's not ready for the gust of cool air as the portal opens, her chest tightening while Regina and Robin jump through.

She can't help herself - she turns and looks back, needing to see him one more time. He's moved back to the treeline but she can still make out his features - the tiny, loaded smile he gives her and the encouraging nod to follow.

She nods back, turns, and jumps.

Killian guides Emma through the front door of their home, Henry close on their heels. Killian nearly carries her, taking most of her weight with her arm slung over his shoulder as her feet drag across the hardwood. She wants to protest, tell him she's not an invalid, but her legs are hardly obeying her wishes as it is, much less her mouth. He deposits her on the couch and kneels before her to look directly in her eyes, grabbing her hand in his.

"You're shaking."

"I'll get you some hot chocolate," Henry volunteers immediately, completely misreading the situation, but she simply nods as he disappears to the kitchen.

"I'm not cold," she finally says, low enough that her son can't hear.

"It's all right, love," Killian assures her, just as quiet. He smiles then, squeezing her hand. "I told you you can overcome anything."

She stares at him blankly until she realizes he's not talking about her time in the wish realm. She feels slow and stupid, hardly able to organize her thoughts, not after arriving in Storybrooke only to walk straight into the swordfight that haunted her dreams for so many weeks.

She may not have vanquished her cloaked foe, only able to send him running with a blast of magic that took everything in her power to summon. It nearly failed, an aborted, hopeless attempt until Killian and Henry arrived and she somehow found the strength to bring it forth.

The burst of energy didn't last, the weight of the last few days and the preceding weeks lifting and crumbling in on her at the same time. She'd collapsed on the street, damn near had a panic attack and it was only the arms of the men she loved around her that kept her together, soothing and real and coaching her to breathe her way through it.

She can't even remember how they got her back home, struggling to recall but only coming up with a frenzied blur, and it's Killian's voice that snaps her back to reality.

"Emma."

Her eyes meet his, wide and full of concern, and it's the first time she's really looked at him since arriving home. It startles her, to see him young and vibrant and full of life in a way his other self hadn't been, no more of the silver-streaked hair and wrinkles she'd done her best to memorize. But as much as she sees the Killian she knows and love she also sees him, and her heart jumps and breaks all at once behind the numbing fog of shock.

Henry returns just then, breaking the moment and she forces a smile, strange as it feels on her face. "Thanks."

"Are you okay, Mom?"

She pauses before answering, and she can't bear to lie to him. "I will be. It's, uh. It's been a rough few days. I'll tell you about it later, okay? I think I just need to go to bed."

Henry nods, obviously worried but taking her at her word, and Emma is grateful when Killian takes the mug of hot chocolate from him, knowing her shaking hands wouldn't be able to carry it. "I'll let Grandma and Grandpa know you're back."

It's another piece falling into place, knowing she'll be able to see her parents once more, young and alive and it almost cracks through the numbness when she pulls Henry into a hug. "Thanks, kid."

Killian brings her upstairs, his hook pressing lightly at the small of her back as he patiently follows her wobbly steps. She pauses once they're in the bedroom, glancing towards the bath. "I think I need a shower."

"Of course," he says, his voice soft as he sets the mug aside. "Take all the time you need."

The thought of being alone, being without him for even a moment shocks her into reality even more, and she grabs his wrist when he reaches to hand her a towel. "Come with me?"

He laces his fingers with hers in response. "Anything."

He turns the water scalding hot and undresses her with deliberate care, as though she were some delicate, breakable thing. She feels that way now, fragile and raw down to the tips of her toes as he divests himself of his own clothing and leads her into the shower.

Perhaps it's the heat of the water that finally brings her into the present. Maybe it's the look on his face as he runs his fingers through her hair, or the last of the adrenaline leaving her body, but once they're thoroughly soaked and he asks her, nearly inaudible, "Are you all right?" she breaks.

His arms go around her as she buries her face in his chest and sobs. There's so much for her to get out, so much fear and tension to process and it all unfurls at once, the anguish of the last few days and the realization that no, she will not die as fated squeezing her heart until it bursts, a relentless torrent that pours out of her until she feels no more than a shell of herself in his embrace.

He brings her back slowly as it subsides, a gentle hand at her back and whispered nonsense in her ear, I've got you and safe and love still coming through and it gives her the strength to remain standing. He waits, patient as always, and when she finally stops shuddering he acts as though nothing has happened, working shampoo into her hair with calming fingers and gently washing every inch of her skin.

It's only when they're finished, only when he's turned off the water and drying her carefully with a fluffy towel that she realizes how grateful she is, how lucky she is to be taken care of and she doesn't have the words to express it, hoping that her quiet "I love you" is enough.

He pauses at her words, dropping the towel to take her face in hand as he leans in, his lips just a caress against hers. "And I you."

When they're finally in bed they don't talk, laying on their sides to face one another and his hand is sweet against her cheek, thumb gently grazing her skin.

"Do you want to sleep?" he asks.

"I don't think I could," she admits.

He hesitates, and then: "Do you want to talk?"

When she can't answer right away, he continues. "I know this isn't just about your swordfight and the prophecy. You don't have to tell me now, but will you? I don't know what happened in that other realm, but…"

"No," she confirms. "You're right, it's not that. It was… God, I don't even know where to start."

He's reluctant before he speaks, but when he does it's just the push she needs. "Do you want to try?"

Her story is painfully disjointed, awkward and inelegant and she keeps having to backtrack, filling in details she'd forgotten, but by the time she gets to her goodbye at Lake Nostros, Killian scoots in closer, his legs tangling with hers as she whispers the details.

When she finishes there's not much to say - his sympathetic "Oh, love" sets off tears for the both of them - but it's enough to unburden herself, to tell her story to the only person who can come close to fully understanding. They hold each other tightly as they fall asleep, broken but slowly mending.

It's just past lunchtime when Emma returns home the next day. Her breakfast with her parents runs shorter than expected (they welcomed her with several too-long-but-not-enough hugs, but shooed her out as soon as humanly possible and insisted she go home to rest), but her meandering walk afterward takes longer. She thought it might help, to work through her jumbled thoughts, maybe cry a little for the man she left behind. Neither happens.

Her mind remains as scrambled as ever, living through those few days with Killian again and again, sometimes in fleeting moments and others in achingly perfect detail. His eyes, how over the years the blue of them had grown a shade lighter than she remembered. The way he smiled as though he hadn't done so in years. The feeling of his hand on her skin, more careful and cherishing than she was used to. Her eyes remain dry as she relives the memories, the catharsis of the night before leaving her emotions too depleted to allow much of a reaction.

She sees him as soon as she's through the front door, seated on the couch and his gaze trained on something in his lap she can't see. He doesn't look up at the sound of her entrance, and something in the set of his shoulders alarms her.

"Killian?" she asks, afraid to approach, the oddest feeling that she's interrupting something important.

It takes a beat before he turns his head to acknowledge her. "Hello, love."

The look on his face unnerves her immediately. He doesn't even attempt to muster a smile, but beyond that his eyes are red. His cheeks aren't wet - if he's cried over anything it hasn't been in the last few minutes - but there's no mistaking the set of his features.

"What's wrong?" she whispers, stiffening where she stands.

He does smile then, just a bit, and the knot in her stomach loosens fractionally. "I'm all right," he assures her, tilting his head in invitation. "Come here. I've got something to show you."

When she sits next to him she sees it's a piece of parchment, neatly folded and, despite being old-fashioned, not withered with age. He turns it over and over in his hands, restless but careful with the letter, and Emma sees a similar-looking envelope on the coffee table in front of them, "Killian" scrawled across it with his familiar handwriting.

"Regina dropped this off earlier," he tells her. "She said he'd asked her for a favor."

Emma swallows, her eyes trained on the folded paper. "He mentioned a favor to me, but never told me what it was about."

"And this was it," he confirms, holding out the letter to her. "Would you like to read it?"

Her eyes fall to the parchment before meeting his. "Do you want me to?"

There's a pause before he answers, but when the smile spreads slowly across his face she knows she's asked the right question. "Yes."

Her hands faintly shake as she takes it from him, delicately unfolding the paper and feeling her breath catch as she first sees it - the writing is the same beautiful penmanship she knows, almost. It's a little bit shakier, slightly sloppier, but still a work of art unto itself. She feels Killian's hand at her back as she begins to read.

Killian,

It's quite strange to write a letter to myself. I assume Emma has told you about me; if she hasn't done so yet, please don't hold it against her. It's obvious how taxing this experience has been for her - I'm certain you see it as well - and if she hasn't yet gone into detail about her trip to this realm I know she will soon. Give her time if she needs it.

She squeezes her eyes shut, suddenly realizing what he'd done before she woke after their morning together. Despite all his pain he'd thought of her own first, and it's not the first time his selflessness has brought tears to her eyes. She swipes angrily at her face as Killian leans into her side, his hand a comforting slide against her ribs. "I'm here," he whispers, his breath warm on her shoulder. "Keep reading."

It's also strange to write to you when Emma was so insistent that we're the same person. She's partially correct; we both share identical memories up to a point. I know everything you know. But I also have another generation of experiences within me: returning to the Enchanted Forest with a toothless Dark One and no curse, no scheming with Cora to guide me. I'm older than you by a few decades (still handsome, lest you worry about that) and so at least the smallest bit wiser. Given that, I hope you'll take to heart what I have to say.

I don't need to tell you what a gift it is to be loved by Emma Swan. But I do know how you think, and the way your head can sometimes poison what you know in your heart to be true. So I'd like to tell you a story.

Emma can't stop her laugh, short and breathless as it is. "This sounds familiar."

His nose is still pressed to her ear and she feels him smile against her skin, his hand tightening around her waist. "Classics never die, Swan. Keep reading."

She does, her heart firmly in her throat.

I was a useless old pirate. Not even that, an ex-pirate who hadn't had a ship or a crew in decades. I had no home, never staying in one place too long, far too much of my time spent at the bottom of a bottle because I had nothing else. I spent years that way, because once my vengeance was taken from me there was nothing left to do but grow old and wait to die. I didn't even have the courage to end it myself, choosing the passive way out, as it were. We always did have a talent for self-destruction.

But then a princess marched into a tavern and sat directly across from me. She needed a favor and I refused, thinking I had no way to assist her and wanting to get back to my bottle. She could have left then, finding another way home (and we both know she would have) and leaving me in the dark with the demons we both know so well.

But she saw me and the state I was in, and she stayed. I wish you could have seen her, how kind and determined she was, desperate to make me believe I was more than the failure I'd become. She reassured me, held my hand, and chased me down when I fled. Finally, she told me she loved me. I suppose I'm luckier than you in that regard; I was privileged with hearing Emma say "I love you" for the first time on two separate occasions.

She made me believe and I remembered. I don't need to tell you it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because Emma is the best thing that ever happened to either of us. She didn't have to do it; she could have left me in the dark and gone home to you and I'd be none the wiser. I'd have disappeared into the ether when she left, some tragic footnote that didn't warrant any further attention.

But she refused to let that happen. Even though I was just a temporary copy of you, she wasn't able to leave me like that, and as poor as my own opinion of myself is, she refused to let me wallow in it. We know the generosity of Emma's grace better than anyone.

Despite all that, I know it's not enough for you. You know what you have is True Love but you still doubt yourself. You still worry that you feel more deeply for her than she does for you. You still worry that you're not worthy of her. I know you, mate. I AM you. And so I hope you'll take the advice of a (slightly) older version of you: never, ever doubt the love of Emma Swan. It runs as true and as deep as yours for her, if not more so. Cherish every moment of it. Hold her every chance you get, make love to her every time as if it's your last, and believe her when she tells you she loves you. Trust her in this as you do everything else.

You're going to show this letter to her, aren't you? I know us. In that case, Emma, hello, darling. I love you until the end of the world, or time, just like the man right next to you. Be good to each other.

Kindest regards,

Killian Jones

Her breath catches at the final paragraph and Killian is there for it, the warmth of his hand at her waist and his breath on her skin grounding her as she swallows down her tears. "He's pretty great, isn't he?" she finally gets out, hoping he can read between the lines.

"Aye," he agrees, his lips gentle against her cheek.

"He's right," she says, still unable to look at him. "About how much I love you."

His breath stops against her skin, his fingers tapping a gentle rhythm against her ribs. "I'm glad to hear it," he murmurs.

They sit quietly for a few minutes, Emma's head on his shoulder, savoring the luxury of silence. It only breaks when Killian chuckles to himself, a low, sweet sound that rumbles in his chest.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, love. Just thinking that he's right about you, too."

Things slow down somewhat a few days after Emma returns. The Evil Queen remains in her cage and Gideon is nowhere to be seen, giving them what is most certainly a false sense of security, but it's enough for her to return to work and pretend. And she's definitely pretending now, playing Minesweeper on her computer and truly learning the concept of "Hurry up and wait."

The buzz of her phone distracts her, causing her to set off a mine and she curses as she goes to check her messages, but the words die on her lips as she reads it.

It's a video file, sent to her by Regina. The accompanying text is simple but sets her heart racing as she reads it: Watch this alone, and only when you've got some extra time.

Emma looks up immediately, glancing around the quiet station. Her father is out on a routine call but there's otherwise nothing to do, and so she gets up and locks her office door before sitting, taking a deep breath, and hitting "play."

She nearly drops her phone at the sight of his face once the video starts, lined and creased and just as beautiful as she remembers it, the face she never thought she'd see again staring back at her.

"Hello, love." His expression is sweet, a little melancholy, and she recognizes the castle walls behind him and the clothes he's wearing - he recorded this before she awakened after their night together. There was far more to his favor, it turns out, than a simple letter.

"I convinced Regina to let me use her talking phone before the battery died," he confirms. "I considered writing a letter to you as well, but I thought you might prefer a message from this devilishly handsome face instead."

Emma laughs through her tears, swiping at her face as he goes on.

"I assume by now you've read the letter I wrote to myself. And rest assured, I meant every word of it. But I wanted to speak directly to you."

"I love you," he says, somehow deadly serious but joyful at the same time. "More than anything in this wretched life. I always wanted to be a better man but you were the catalyst, the spark that made it happen. And as unfair as our current plight is - " his voice catches and he looks down, away from the camera, " - please, Emma, just know that you've made me a better man twice over."

It takes him a moment to find his voice again and she swallows heavily, wiping away her tears while she waits for him to recover.

"You asked me what I needed from you. It's not much, darling, and nothing more than you're prepared to give." He looks directly into the camera and smiles. "Tell me - tell him - tell him you love him every opportunity you have. Be there for him as he will be for you. And you already told me you would, but say yes when he asks you to marry him. He's quite nervous about it." His soft smile spreads into a grin. "And I know I asked you to acquire a pair of stockings once you returned home, but I was hoping that perhaps we could keep that just between us."

Emma laughs again and she can't deny him anything, a small part of her rejoicing at the idea. How perfect, how utterly perfect of him to suggest -

"I have to go now, love," he tells the screen, an amused smile playing at his lips. "It's time to wake you up for yet another adventure, one that I'm sure will end with you as the victor."

His face grows serious once more and she braces herself, knowing what's to come.

"I love you. Did I already tell you that? Well, allow me to say it again: I love you. And even if I only have ten or twelve or sixteen hours with you in this life, all of it was was bloody worth it. Love always is." His smile returns. "Go live, and love, for me. We both know I'll see you again someday."

Emma can't watch the final seconds of the video, her eyes screwing shut as he says goodbye.

He asks her on a lazy Sunday morning, when they're both sleep-drunk and fuzzy and just waking as the sun streams through the curtains, their limbs tangled sweetly together.

She says yes.

*

[wishfulife-moved]

I have no chill, and every time I think I’m done analyzing stuff about this show, a simple listening to the theme song can just spark something and never leave your brain and you just sit there like, “Why does this fucking line fuck with me so much and is the thing keeping me awake at night?”

Probably because of how scary it can be for someone who seems to be average, to never live up to the stereotypes or traits expected of people who are abuse victims.

TW: Abuse mention, child abuse

Timmy is an average kid that no one understands

Yeah... yeah he is. To everyone else around him, he’s a normal kid. Aside from his buck teeth, short stature, and color preference in wardrobe, there’s nothing special about him from a quick glance. His grades are subpar, he has a scarce amount of friends, but he still acts and behaves as a normal child. He can be obnoxious, self-centered, bratty, but can also be nice. He’s a kid, and to many of the people of Dimmsdale (or anyone else until they start to get to know him), he’s just another faceless nobody who won’t amount to much in his life.

His words are never taken seriously when he talks about Vicky, and how evil and abusive she is, or his words about Francis. Even when he has clear bruises, scratches, or cuts around him, he’s not taken serious. For the most part, those rarely ever stay long for people to believe him, for as soon as he notices no one even tries to get his sides of the story or believe him even a little bit, he’d either cover it up with make up, ice down his swollen eyes or cheeks, or with his Fairies now, just wish them away.

He isn’t one to wear his scars on his sleeves simply because it does nothing for him. No one in his town helps him, or even really acknowledges it that much aside from possibly his friends stating how bad of a shiner he got from his bully and ways to get back at him. Never much consoling, telling him he didn’t or doesn’t deserve it. This is the norm for them- seeing Timmy getting beaten up, then fine not long after. AJ suspected make up, but never bothered much to figure it out. No one ever did.

So with the ability TO cover it up, as well as the ability to just WISH all his blemishes were gone, what was the point in letting them heal normally? It’s rare should someone see how many cuts and bruises that might be lining his whole body, and it’ll only ever be should he be at school and his Fairies don’t follow him.

Which is another big thing: Timmy is at times very SCARED of bringing Cosmo and Wanda (and then later Poof) with him EVERYWHERE. True, there are plenty of times they come to school with him, but there’s also plenty of cases he doesn’t bring them along, they’re at home all day, and Timmy is alone without any magic to aid him. At least, none that can come that quickly.

He’s aware that they’ll come within a moment’s notice should he just call for them, but sometimes he won’t even do that. There’s always the fear of Crocker getting just too up and personal, too touchy with his attempts at trying to find Timmy’s Fairies while they’re at school, and sometimes he’ll just not feel up for being extra anxious in class, and they’ll stay home. This isn’t just school-exclusive though; it’s noted in Super Bike he had the full on intention of going to Chester’s house without them. He was going to walk before Super Bike came by to take him instead.

Also noted in that same episode, he was ALONE with the bike that entire scene when they biked through the trailer park, and the interactions between them before Timmy was manipulated into just hanging out with his bike. By himself. 

Timmy’s always sort of kept in mind that he can be a handful, and earlier in the seasons, he’d make sure Cosmo and Wanda had some time away from him. In Deja Vu, Timmy’s having that horrible day without his Fairies, and doesn’t see them until he’s home. Sort of like actual parents- they aren’t there to see the bull shit you might deal with at school because they’re either at work or home, blissfully unaware of what’s happening, and can only rely on your words to know how the day’s gone.

They know Timmy’s got his special traits, but even they can’t really understand how much Timmy just brushes aside, tells himself either this is what he deserves or just realizes there’s no reason to TRY and dwell on how much he NEEDS help. They probably have some ideas that he’s going through a lot, but he won’t open up all the way for them. Out of everyone he knows, they’re the ones who know the most, aside from possibly Remy about ONE detail, but otherwise... Everyone might know his parents are bad, that his babysitter’s bad, he has bullies, and/or that his teacher is excessively abusive as well, but it’s rare to impossible that people REALLY understand how much Timmy’s affected by this.

He knows it’s bad. He knows what he’s going through is bad, but it’s just the norm for him. He words it so calmly, and the most he’ll say about it is that his babysitter, bully, and teacher are just mean and evil. He won’t let people see how bruised and battered he CAN be after a day of school before seeing his Fairies, how much he has to tell himself he’s there, that he exists, and trying to not let the fact that his world would be better if he DIDN’T exist .

To the people in his town, it’s normal to see a kid get bullied, and sometimes they’d do something about it. Timmy getting beaten up by Francis isn’t anything out of the ordinary since Francis beat up pretty much a majority of the kids in the school. Crocker was cruel to everyone in the class, so it was only SLIGHTLY less than normal he would pick on Timmy on most days. There were days he didn’t even register Timmy’s existence, and those were the days Timmy enjoyed the most- being ignored completely.

Sometimes he really likes being the average kid that no one understands. Sure, there’s days (and he’s made wishes) to have more attention on him because it becomes so lonely when no one wants you around, no one wants you existing, but then there’s other days he only wants ONE single person’s attention (typically Trixie). Most days though, he might just take being a number, only important to maybe two, three people in his life. The ones who ask him why he’s so glum that day, why he’s angry, why he’s got those bruises.

To his Fairies, he’ll just explain it was Francis or Vicky, then wish their marks were gone. There he is then again- normal kid who only suffers minor inconveniences in his life. No abuse, no gas lighting, no negligence, no bad vibes for this kid.

Then there’s my people who I do crossover stuff with. They probably know something’s up, but even so, Timmy just keeps up a much tighter guard. He doesn’t want to be bothered with sympathy, doesn’t want the attention. But he does. He really does. Then he feels guilty though when people worry about him. It’s a constant cycle, and he’d rather just play normal kid, hype up his own happiness and content with his life. Keep up a lie, for those who can’t just live in his world of normalcy to his own abuse and neglect.

Sure, there are times he wants people to know how bad it CAN be, and some people have ideas, but then there’s always the whole “if you didn’t exist, everyone in your world would be happy” and it’s something he almost always wants to bring up when he sees someone he cares about suffering. But then he feels it’ll be manipulative- that he’ll be trying to draw attention to himself.

He wants attention, but has been deprived of it for so long that he constantly believes he’s being toxic for doing so. He was given attention (good and abusive) when he was younger for nearly eight years of his life. Now-a-days, it’s all abusive, toxic, and for Tootie’s case, stalker-like attention he gets. His Fairies in his main universe are the only ones who give him healthy attention, and it’s why he is dependent on them so much more in later seasons.

An average kid might seem to be okay, but sometimes that average kid is dealing with so much shit. It’s scary to think the most normal person in your class, in your life, could be suffering so much. And no one would be the wiser.

[neon-serpent-llc]

Here’s to 365 days of polygonal worlds, shot point-blank at our grey matter, some catching fire, others fizzling to the void! It must be that oh-so-pointless time to give out video game awards! For the third year running I present a cheeky list of spills and chills like no other (spoiler: Overwatch wins nothing). Anyway, blahblahblah, here's the awards already:

Game I Forgot Existed Until I Looked Up "Game Releases of 2016" Award

Quantum Break

Like previous winners Watch Dogs, and Evolve, this is a shining example of a game that simply vanished after it was released. Probably took hundreds of Artists four years to make, and then *poof* gone overnight. But alas, most games do, eh? Was the TV show any good?

Best Case for Virtual Tourism Award

The Division

Say what you will about the game itself, but this lovely facsimile of NYC is killer. And super accurate. If it weren't for all the invincible, hoodie-wearing street thugs it would be a pleasure to cruise this digital remake of my favorite city.

Genius or Madness Award

Zero Time Dilemma

A game that walks the line perfectly between the two. So clever, and yet maybe too clever? The twists are ridiculous when they work and outrageous when they don’t. Even so, its sheer confidence of going eight steps beyond everyone else, narrative-wise, is so refreshing. Truly a piece of Art that only works in the video game medium. Speaking of Art...

Most Unplayable Work of Art Award

The Witness

Conceptually, The Witness is flawless. Especially once you've seen the "real" ending, that perfectly frames the point of the whole experience (I watched it on YouTube). Unfortunately, to get that real ending is a monumentally painstaking chore. But, this isn't "difficult" Art in the sense that its meaning is opaque or it’ll challenge your worldview. Its simply that I have zero patience for puzzle games. If The Witness is an encapsulation of what it means to be Johnathan Blow, then it's clear that he and I couldn't be more different. And that's why it works as Art.

Don't Want to Be the Guy That Says, "I Told You So," but.... I Told You So Award

No Man's Sky

Even with its countless features, the spiritually-similar Spore got boring fast. How, then, was this bare-bones knock-off, No Man's Sky, going to keep people interested? And that was with the assumption that it would at least look nice. However, it absolutely did not. The novelty of seeing procedurally generated ANYTHING gets old fast, and it's made far worse when you're presented with a never ending stream of ugly, barren planets made of mud and more mud. Next year’s winner: Star Citizen?

Biggest Social Phenomenon Since the Wii Award

Pokemon Go

It didn't last long, but for a month this summer, everyone was out hunting in the parks of the world. Sure, we still mostly ignored each other, but there was a touch of bizarre camaraderie knowing we were all playing the same giant meta game. Like the Wii before it, it was a game-related subject you could talk to ANYBODY about, and they'd not only know what you meant, but have an opinion on the matter. How often does that happen? How odd was it to see a fifty year old business man asking where the nearest Clefairy could be found?

Welcome to the 90s Loading Time Award

Deus Ex Mankind Divided

I think I spent more time riding the subway in this game than I have in real life.

You Don't Know Your Audience Award

Metroid Prime Federation Force

As a new Nintendo IP this would have got tons of attention. Who doesn't like crazy new Nintendo ideas? But as a Metroid game it could only possibly get bad press. Why play as Samus when you can play as more-generic-than-Master-Chief, chibi space marines instead? A top tier faux pas.

They Finally Got it Right Award

Dragonball Xenoverse 2

After decades of awkward DragonBall games, they finally hit the sweet spot for over-the-top action with fun controls and interesting content (granted, I never played the first Xenoverse). In the year of Street Fighter 5, who would have thought I'd prefer the new DragonBall fighting game?

Well Deserved Retirement Award

Dark Souls 3

Still fun despite almost no alterations in what is clearly a formula now, but I'm glad this is the last hurrah, at least for a while. As I said when Dark Souls 2 came out, the magic is less pronounced with each additional entry. None will have that Demon's Souls impact anymore. But when it returns in 5 to 10 years, it'll be nostalgic to see the old tricks in action again.

Everyone's An Asshole Award

Dishonored 2

At least that's what the talking Heart makes it seem like. Half the populace has secretly killed their husband/wife, whereas the other half have burned down orphanages or something.

Late to the Party Award

Steins;Gate

Another game I played years after release. And damn it's good. Far more novel than game, but I don't mind for a story of this quality. Why wasn't I reading this earlier? Haven't got to Steins;Gate 0 yet, but I'm working on it.

Xenogears Disk 2 Award

Final Fantasy XV

Like Metal Gear Solid V last year, another all-around excellent game that suddenly sprints to the end, jumping vast stretches of story in an instant, clashing hard with the slow burn style of storytelling established before that. Much like Xenogears of yore, this is a game that tried to be far bigger than time/budget allowed.

Honestly, I wish these overly-epic games would get chopped in two, a la Kill Bill. At the point where the story would start getting rushed, end part one. Just end it. Then let its sales fund part two, the remainder of the story. Then again, you run the risk of a Too Human situation where you announce a trilogy and then don't sell enough to finish it. But honestly, Final Fantasy and Metal Gear would handily sell enough. I’m sure they’ll make a FFXV-2, but at best it’ll attempt to reassemble the pieces of its predecessors fractured ending.

Didn't Burn the House Down Award

Uncharted 4

The writers said the ending would "burn the house down" in terms of closure. But it didn't, at all, even slightly. Uncharted 5 could EASILY be made based off this exact ending, with no retcons and no changes to the game’s formula. They'd just have to make Drake constantly say, "I'm too old for this shit!!"

It Shouldn't Work, But it Soooo Does Award

Dragon Quest Builders

I don't like Minecraft. As a professional level designer, I find Minecraft‘s game building tools too crude to enjoy using at length (what a snob, eh?). And I don't like Dragon Quest. Too much grind, not enough story. Too simple. But for some reason when you combine the two it's fucking great! Dragon Quest adds the personality, charm, and flavor Minecraft was sorely lacking while also bringing enough story and tangible goals to make the building feel like a game and not like a chore. Plus, the game’s worlds are fairly handcrafted and feature proper level/zone design, which is greatly appreciated. The surprise hit of the year.

Best Game Industry Trend of the Year

Virtual Reality

I'm glad we're all working on it seriously now. Sure, the current headsets are uncomfortable as fuck, (can’t emphasize this enough), but its a step towards sunglasses-size VR in about ten years or so. Plus, by then everyone will be over their VR sickness so we won’t have to keep watering down the experiences we create. It’ll be sweet!

Worst Game Industry Trend of the Year

Infinite Sales

Between Steam, Good Old Games, Humble Bundle, Greenman Gaming, PSN Store, etc there is always a massive, store-wide sale going on somewhere. Wait a year and any game you want will be a mere $10. Why buy an unknown indie game when you can get a supremely polished, lengthy triple-A game for the same price? Indie developers basically need to charge $1 to get anyone's attention. Or make their game free *cough* ULTRAWORLD.

Best Game Awards of the Year

Obvious

Worst Game Awards of the Year

The Game Awards

A transparently corporate affair, the winners have all be carefully selected based on what needs to sell at Xmas. Companies won't even show up if one of their high profile games doesn't get an award. Even setting those complaints aside, it's hard to get interested or excited about a 2016 award show that happens with over a month of 2016 left; when wonderful games like The Last Guardian haven’t even been released yet. Speaking of which...

Game (Experience) of the Year

The Last Guardian

There's a layer of disconnect between the player and Last Guardian. The boy, Trico, and the camera all seem to disobey the player constantly. Many marked this as a flaw, but I think it's 100% intentional and part of why the game is so cohesive, thematically. For me, there's an added sense of surrealism when things are out of control. The chaos of physics interactions seem like they shouldn't work, yet suddenly you've made it to the next section of the castle. Did you really play that last section, or merely guide the chaos? Since you’re playing as a helpless child, lost in towering labyrinthine passageways, this obtuse disconnect feels entirely appropriate.

I feel it's intentional because Fumito Ueda and his team have managed to capture this sense of surreal play for three games in a row. Everyone manages to get to the end despite the feeling of disconnect. Trico is so aloof, yet will always get you where you need to go. Eventually. If everything functioned 100% predictably, God-of-War-precise, it would be FAR less memorable...as an experience. You, like the boy, legitimately struggle to escape the castle. Who has the guts to purposely make their controls imprecise to service the game, and theme, as a whole? It's amazing. A true work of Art. Game of the Year.

Non-Game of the Year

ULTRAWORLD EXODUS

The expansion and finale to whatever the hell this thing is. I liked it, but I think I'm literally the only one.

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So that's the year, says I. Looking over my list, its clear I didn't play many indie games, even though I complained about people not buying indie games (which is bad Karma for me, but I'll live). As always, if you disagree: good. All awards are pointless, just fluff opinions with a bow on top. Your awards are as good as mine, good as the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, etc etc forever. Til next year!

2015 Awards 2014 Awards