#He keeps forgetting the keys

[4seasonsofart]

Modern AU | Askeladd when introducing his family to people...

Askeladd: "I'm gay, their mother is gay, and all of my stupid motherfuc—I mean, beautiful children—are gay."

Bjorn: "I'm the mother; I take care of Askeladd. They are quite sweet children. Garm, stop trying to murder your brother! Canute, you cannot exercise the demons out of Thorfinn! We already tried that once already..."

Thorfinn: "Tell me again why I have to make a stupid introduction." Askeladd threatens to take away his guitar and alternative music. "I am Thorfinn, son of Thors. These people are not my family... I was kidnapped..." Garm attacks Thorfinn again.

Canute: "I am princess Canute. Our Lord and Savior, Nicki Minaj, gave me the ability to be a woman." Eyes Garm and Thorfinn suspiciously. "Mom-! Garm keeps stealing my dresses and wearing them... Thorfinn keeps stealing my make-up to do his stupid satanic rituals!"

Thorfinn: Thorfinn threatens to punch his sister. "I'm sacrificing you first to the demons."

Garm: "We're sacrificing people? Am I allowed to do it to Principle Ketil?"

Askeladd: "Only if you're paying for your bail."

Garm: "Is that a yes...?"

Bjorn: "No."

Garm: "I'm taking that as a yes."

Bjorn: "Introduce yourself Garm... we will talk about those arson charges when we get home."

Garm: points to himself. "Garm."

Canute: "That's close enough to Gay."

Garm: "I will steal all of your dresses and wear them out of retaliation."

Canute: "You wouldn't dare! You'll stretch them out with your broad shoulders!? Dad! Mom!"

Bjorn side eyes Askeladd.

Askeladd: "You're the one who said you wanted kids."

[sincerelystarry]

call me arthur lester the way i keep forgetting… wait what was i gonna say again?

…

faroe?

faroe…? faroe?

oh god. faroe?

faroe! faroe… no…

no! faroe! faroe!

no! faroe!

no!

[magicalgrimm]

A blast from the past (and by that i mean a traumatic near death experience.)

Bonus:

[lilyharvord]

I need people to understand that my hyperfixation ships are limited to one thing: a man who is usually in full control of himself meeting 1 woman and losing complete and utter control over absolutely everything he does.

I just like to watch when they go full feral for a woman who could literally chew them up and spit them out, but choses to let them stick around because I don't know, it's nice to have someone carrying their bag or whatever.

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya once jokingly referred to Bennett as 'Bennett Guildson' in lightly scolding him over endangering himself, and Bennett most Definitely considered making that his actual name on his official Adventurer's Guild paperwork, send post-

[autumn0689]

HOW TF DID CORIOLANUS SNOW BAG A BADDIE LIKE LUCY GRAY BAIRD?????!!!!!!! It makes no sense! Thank gosh Lucy Gray ran away from the walking red flag that was Coriolanus Snow.

[cerealmonster15]

life is like a metronome sometimes I reread my fics and go “heehee silly fun times” and other times I can’t get past 3 sentences with out going “NO this is CRINGE and BAD everyone that has ever said something nice about my work is a LIAR and an ENABLER and just FEELS BAD FOR ME” actually that says less about life and More about My Issues I think 🤔

[thawthebeez]

me watching the 254th haikyuu tiktok skit on my fyp today

[sirenspells]

As much as I like the idea of shattered omori being a silly little guy, regrettably he only appears in amnesiac omori au as an enemy that the group has to fight

[a1sart]

i feel like I need to take notes while listening to the Magnus archives they keep bringing stuff back up and I'm like "oh man that name sounds familiar what episode is that from? Why are they concerned about this turn of events" and then having to go back through every episode to figure out wtf they're talking about

[galaxxies18]

「届きはしない思い」 「声にならめ声で」

「T R E A S U R E Y O U」

Please don't repost anywhere else!

Invidivual versions below the cut 👇

[tea-stained]

Okay if you think about it, Hadestown is just 5 people with depression who deal with it VERY differently

[lairn]

rereading the last couple volumes of ajin and tearing up over what it means to be alive

[bmpmp3]

(booting up a new game from hit visual novel developer VisualArts/Key) i know all their tricks by now they can’t get to me anymore im immune to this shit im immu-

[lastoneout]

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[nocontextlestat]

lestat de lioncourt is theeeee character of all time because:

kiIIed 8 wolves on his own. kissed his mom several times. has abnormally small feet. is bisexual. is a french aristocrat. is half italian. is a scorpio. is a theater kid. is neurodivergent. was the youngest son. loves being called a slut. laughs when he isn’t supposed to. wanted to be a priest despite not believing in god because he liked the monastery vibes. is into people who are way older than him. has a porsche and a harley-davidson. doesn’t know how to do math. is both a girl dad AND a boy dad. shat and pissed all over himself. can play several musical instruments. became a rockstar. ate his own vomit. slept with a nun. talks to his own dick. baby trapped his husband. slurped period blood. was the village whore. literally went to heaven and hell. wrote his books like they’re wattpad fanfics. chopped off a dude’s whole arm with his tiny pocket axe. loves walmart. cries every chance he gets. drank jesus christ’s blood and made him moan. lost his one eye then put it back in. tortured a guy for singing off key. declared war on humans AND vampires because he was curious about what would happen. woke up the first ever vampire with his music. doesn’t know what a dialysis is. keeps forgetting to charge his iphone. can’t handle being ignored. needs constant words of affirmation. and the list goes on