#He had the hardest 10 years
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We don't talk enough about my poor man Hank. Imagine having you best friend/kind of mentor all day drinking and talking and crying about the man who paralyzed him and is now in prison for killing the president.
Charles: *really drunk* Hank? Did I tell you about what great of a kisser Erik is?
Hank: Yes. Yes, you did.
Charles: I miss him. He was always so nice to me.
Hank: He paralyzed you and he took Raven with him. Also he blocked you out of his head, with the helmet of the man he killed, which you felt, while saying you should be proud of your mutation.
Charles: *totally not listening* He's so cute. Did you ever notice how he looked, when he was thinking about something? So cute.
Hank: He killed JFK. He's locked up in the fucking Pentagon.
Charles: *suddenly very teary* It was totally my fault, wasn't it? Oh my god, I'm such a horrible person. Erik was right to leave me.
Hank: *trying to calm him down and preparing for Charles having a breakdown* Charles, listen to me. Everything you-
Charles: And we had so good sex! Oh my god... The things he can do with his tounge!
Hank: Well, nevermind...
#He had the hardest 10 years#all of that just to free Erik#so he could drop a stadium on them#and then Charles let him go again#my poor man#hank mccoy#beast#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#magneto#professor x#cherik#x men#marvel#xmen#x men days of future past#x men first class
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Iâm getting up early to go train with my old Taekwondo nationals team mate and maybe our instructor to get on track for our Black belt. My mentor recently died so the school is being taken over by his Master before him and that Master wants to get us our black belts since weâve been Bodans for like 6 years XD but since covid I fell out of my peak condition and so long story short this is gonna S U C K. I got nauseous during a WARMUP on Thursday đ and I threw up for the first time working out in years two months ago after doing TWO DRILLS. Itâs pathetic. Ima look pathetic, but I have to start sometime đ I just hope I donât get sick again
#taekwondo#my friends still think I do karate even tho I talk about TKD so much. Theyâve known me 10+ years#A friend Iâve had since childhood called me âKarate girlâ yesterday đ#If youâre wondering#my Master/Mentor died of stage 4 cancer.#I found out on Grads night out on the back of a bus full of teens Iâve been hanging out with for 3/4 of a year#That was awkward#but they handled it amazingly. Didnât treat me softly at all after my breakdown of ugly sobbing in the bus#If they did I wouldâve broken down again đ#Itâs been 2months#I have not processed anything#I really should talk to someone truly about it#Will I? Prolly not lollllllll#Except my moms best friend is a therapist and she vowed to make us process it sooo đ€·đŒââïž#My master literally poured his heart and soul and money into the competition team especially when he found out about the cancer#Started giving us life advice and teaching how to navigate ourselves and people#He especially pushed me#my brother and two other the hardest out of the team#He meant so much to me ;-;#Gah. I need to go to bed and pray I donât dream about being trapped on an island of Dinoâs.#I started having those dreams long before I even played ARK XDXD
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being a busy ass student with student journalism gigs on one hand and comm academic shit on the other is very interesting because with the jam-packed life I live I only really get to breathe at like late lAAATE night when no one can bother me about my responsibilities other than myself. that being said that's also when creative brain goes into overdrive and now misfits finally has the final draft of its opening number woo
#so heres the thing kasi the opening number of that damn project hAS BEEN THE HARDEST TO WRITE#i believe at this point there had been morethan 10 drafts gjdjd because like heres the thing with that number specifically#misfits is a fourth wall breaky show within a show and the 5 narrators (and 1 misfit which i'll get to in a bit) knowingly perform#to appease the audience. hence the opening number throughout the years has reflected that - a performance that breaks the barrier between#audience and stage. even when misfits wasnt a show withjn a show concept this had always been the general treatment so that the audience#actually GETS whats happening - but i always come to changing it because well i also wanted to add foreshadowing factors: somehing that#suggests that the show isn't actually all that it seems. previous drafts had this show through the typical Tagalog - Real#and English - Scripted element in the show - language being used to determine authenticity. however that begs the question of how to#properly utilize the Misfits in the opening number - given that two of them dont know about the Show while the other is confused#and then at 2 am i remembered Hermes from Hadestown and boop a lightning bulb#instead of opting for opening numbers that had hints of sabotage or theatrical malfunctions that suggests that the show is Not What It Seems#i thought - why not have it 'malfunction' at the start and have it introduce the wrong character first 5 minutes before the Narrators come#so basically after the Producers (represented through um P.A. voices smth like that) welcome everyone - what is supposed to be the#introduction of the Narrators first ends up as the introduction of the 3rd Misfit (Zeke - 18 - nb) who appears genuinely lost#they appear genuinely in distress though they keep themselves composed at the realization that they are facing an Audience#and they Know this because he was formerly a Narrator as well - though at this point in the story nobody (bar one) knows that#they decide to take their time in chatting with the audience while charming them using their old Narrator tactics in order to get a grip on#whats going on - being a first step towards how involved the audience will be in the story as Zeke then goes to question them outwardly on#the morals of the story they expect and whether it is ethical to have children forcibly conform to religion in the first place#but they do so in an entertaining Bo Burnham manner - a way that doesnt catch people off guard until They Want To - because ayun he#plays by the rules of the show#this doesnt seem like the 'opening number' yet does it but im getting there fjd because once they sense that the narrators will be on stage#as a memento they teach them to sing a melody that will serve as Zeke's motif - something that will eventually scare the lead Narrator and#the Producers - because whenever the motif is sung it means that someone has Broken a Significant Part of the show#especially since the Motif was um lets say its from a now defunct show the Producers and Zeke and the Lead Narrator used to have#that melody will then be subtly present throughout the entire opening number of the Narrators - which will then be played straight#but with the Misfits make their pre-official-introduction appearances by forming the bridge of the opener using the Motif#thats when we learn of the show being compromised from the very start - especially with the lyrics of the motif expressing doubt in faith#personal shit (ran out of tags whoops but um yea basically its Have The Audience Have A Hint to Whats Going On Through Recognizable Motifs)#(also the motif the audience learns is a melody - Zeke (and the lead narrator) changes the lyrics as they go) (also sorry for the ramble)
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Day 6: Road
"aye, aye, I know. it's cold, it's miserable. but count your lucky stars we know these roads at night, and the Imperials don't."
#BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE: I HAND POSED ALL 10 PEOPLE IN THIS IMAGE. PLEASE CLAP. I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULD IMPORT POSES.#however it is far too late now. i have gone insane#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv miqo'te#seeker of the sun#final fantasy 14#gposers#PLEASE fullview these i will cry soo so so hard if you don't#ANYWAY. this would be maybe a year or 2 after the calamity......#he was in the conjurer's guild when it happened and like. the scope and sheer horror of it just cemented the idea he had#that he had to go out there and do what little he was able to do to help#and who was MORE affected by it all than the Ala Mhigans?#post-calamity; in the midst of Garlean invasion; and barred from their one escape route thru the Shroud?#so he spent a few years out there#not necessarily with the Resistance. but with bands of refugees#being passed around as the one magical healer willing to stick around#going to wherever there are the most injured or elderly or sick or kids#trying his hardest to make a difference even though the losses are nearly too much to bear on good days#i'd imagine they had routes where they could accompany people through Gyr Abania so they could make it to safer areas#or where they'd pick up supplies en route or patrol for safety#it's also where he realized like. ohhh. people *will* accept me. i just need to find the right ones.#spent many a night in some stranger's arms not knowing if they'd both still be there the next day...#until the Scions eventually picked him up~#and promised him he *could* make a difference.
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this may be an unpopular opinion but i personally think that Eleanor has a part in Iceâs childhood being shitty. obviously the Colonel is the main reason why but what iâve seen so far, she didnât really defend Ice or any of the other kids. Ice basically raised John and Tim when that should have been Eleanorâs job. Everyone in the family has become comfortable with putting pressure on Ice. They all since heâs strong enough to take it, he should. The scene where Sarah hugged the Colonel right in front Ice made me a little mad and sad for Ice. I hope that Mav puts them in their place but that normally isnât how it works :(
Hey nonnie!
I would have to agree, to a point. To build their backstory up for you a bit (since it will come out over time through Tom's narrating), Eleanor and Bill Kazansky got married when she was 20 and he was 21, and they had Tom a year or so later.
Eleanor had 5 kids in 8 years and a husband who was away all the time. I think she tried her best and she loves the hell out of all her kids, and she does love her husband, but this was also the 60s (Tom was born in '61 [so in 1987 he's 26], John in '62, there was a miscarriage in '63, the twins in '66, and Tim in '68 which nearly killed her). Leaving your husband was basically unheard of, and how would she even do that?
They'd have bounced around every 2-3 years (or sooner than that, depending on Bill's postings) and she wouldn't have had a community to rely on other than friends she'd make on post before getting transferred again every time she got comfortable. Tom was born in San Clemente and lived in 6 different states (as well as briefly abroad in Germany) before his 13th birthday, after which Bill's job sent them back to California.
Long story short Eleanor tried her best, she really did, and she made sure her kids knew she loved each and every one of them. But she did also put pressure on Tom when he was growing up because a part of her needed someone to support her. Tom also is the oldest and definitely has firstborn syndrome so I think he, just being Tom, stepped up to the plate to be there for his siblings because at his core he's a protector. Little Tom would have gotten to the age when he realized how much his mom was doing and stepped in to do it with her, and I think at first she probably protested, but the relief of not having to do it all alone was probably overwhelming.
I think Eleanor and Tom have a really complicated relationship, but Tom definitely doesn't resent his mom for it, not at all. I think Tom understands, and that's why he's so protective of her and says she tried her best and makes sure Pete knows he never doubted that his mom loved him for even a nanosecond.
#sassy answers asks#i'll ride au#eleanor kazansky is a complicated woman#but she also did the best she could with what she had#and just because you don't SEE her yelling at her husband doesn't mean she doesn't#the kazansky's are old fashioned in the sense they don't fight in front of company#but mama kazansky isn't a pushover she just picks her battles#but yes nonnie you are correct she COULD do more and DOESN'T or maybe she just can't#(not me acting like I don't know her motivations lol)#anyway the point is pete endeared himself to eleanor in about .2 seconds because he stood up for tom#and tom's siblings love him to death but they're so used to him being their shield that it's never occurred to them to shield him back#his siblings take him for granted#but it's also complicated because parts of them resent him too#since tom is so âperfectâ at first glance#whereas tom resents them right back because their dad is kinder to them than to him#and just imagine being a 20-something guy coming home from war to be a dad and your 10 year old you barely know is doing your job for you#so there is a long history of tension between them because the colonel is very stern and tom... isn't#not with his loved ones#and it would have pissed tiny tom off to no end when bill yelled at his siblings#meanwhile the colonel pushes tom the hardest because he sees tom's potential#but in treating tom like a subordinate and not a son he alienates him at every turn#anyway join me for#the kazansky family: a shit show in seven parts
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finally finished stargirl, crying definitely very emotionally unwell right now
#stargirl#stargirl spoilers#to be clear i enjoyed it very much#the concept of dc shows never being truly over#with jayâs actor of all people#showing that the characters and the actors theyâre played by could always return#it could be exactly 10 years from now and they decide to continue the show#like you never know#and thereâs so much peace in that#with dc a show is never truly over#because the odds of the actor coming back for the exact same part is more likely than youâd think#im so happy with it#and rick and beth are married (or getting married or whatever i need to rewatch that part) like thatâs so COOL#love to see more of them together on the show itself but still#at least got many of scenes of him hanging out with her family#and when she was talking to her parents he was like comfortingly rubbing her back off screen#that was so cute#and jakeem!! finally taking control of his powers and doing amazing#also i genuinely was so scared they were going to kill off pat#he had 10 minutes total of being dead on screen and yet those 10 minutes were the hardest of my life#terrified#anyway glad heâs ok hxhzhz#man im going through it#cried like bitch#my posts
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hereâs the thing
#why can I not escape my past and move on from my ex#like ok sure it ruined my life#but who was supposed to know I was undiagnosed bpd with someone w bpd that didnât tell me/was physically abusive when episodic#and that it wouldnât permanently alter who I am as a person between my diagnosis as a result and all of the lovebombing/abuse before I knew#also didnât know they had bpd until 4 years together and I wish I did so I couldâve been a better partner :/#but also we are so trauma bonded#and no one has ever loved me the same#no one else has written me 10 page love letters#no one else has understood me like him#I havenât ever loved anyone like him since#but I think he hates me#and heâs moved on and Iâm happy for him and hope heâs okay and happy like honestly I do#but I want a second chance so badly#if not with him just with someone who might actually see me and love me again#I think I just love to be abused tbh#I wish I could feel safe and loved again#Iâll always miss u but I get why we arenât good for each other#I rly did try my hardest#maybe I was never beautiful enough to keep ur attention from the start#Iâm just perma sad now#u won and maybe Iâll still kms but it will always come back to u#fuck#personal
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'Silent Strain' | part I
Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
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summary: Joel and you knew that bringing a child into this mad world was a mistake, but he wanted to give you the best that was left of that world after all.
w.c: 12,6k (this was 5k at the beginning)
warnings: established relationship, age gap (Joel is 43 and Reader 32) angst, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, fluff, not proofreading, sorry. The events of this story happen 10 years after the outbreak.
a/n: New Sunday, new fic? This one was on my drafts and I thought about developing a little bit more because I wanted to write one where Joel wasn't an asshole. This may become a really short series. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading.
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
Mornings in the QZ were far from a story teller, always bleak as any other, somber and carrying the weight of the guilty grieving each people who has survived this far dealt with.
Many people had become the worst versions of themselves, just monsters they never thought they would be. Others woke up with the survivorâs guilt, after years of letting go their people, family and friends.
And others carried all that, but had found a little spark shinning on their path.
That was your case.
And Joelâs too.
You both had found each other just a few years after the world descended into chaos. After that, you become each otherâs anchor until now.
Even when days seemed to be grayer, even when Joel seemed a bit lost after losing his contact with Tommy.
Even on days when the world seemed grayer, even when Joel seemed a little more distantâhis thoughts lost somewhere along the frayed edges of his mind, burdened by the loss of contact with Tommyâyou held on. You knew what he was feeling; it was a familiar ache, a common wound you both carried.
Tommy was Joelâs last person who shared his blood. His brother, his last piece of family and what the old world had left him.
But he also had you, and that made him alive.
You woke up slowly, the thin, rough blanket tangled around your legs, the mattress beneath you creaking as you shifted. The air was cold, seeping through the cracks in the walls, and the faint light of dawn barely penetrated the small, grimy window. Outside, you could hear the sounds of the QZ waking up, the distant, muffled voices of guards changing shifts, the echo of boots on concrete, and the occasional shout. You pulled the blanket tighter around you, trying to keep the chill at bay.
The room you and Joel shared was small, barely large enough for the bed and a rickety chair in the corner. Outside the doors, there was the rest of the old apartment that worked as a roof for the both of you, and Tess.
The walls were stained with years of neglect, paint peeling in long strips, revealing the bare concrete beneath. There was a small table near the window where a lone candle had burned down to a stub, wax pooling on the surface, solidifying in random patterns. It had been another long, sleepless night, the dark hours stretching on endlessly, and you could feel it in your bones, an ache that went deeper than simple tiredness.
You glanced over at Joel, still asleep beside you, his face etched with lines of worry even in rest. He lay on his side, one arm slung over his face, his brow furrowed as if he were fighting off some invisible enemy in his dreams. The mornings were hardest on him, you knew. Waking up to the same bleak reality day after day, the hope of finding Tommy growing thinner with each passing moment.
A wave of nausea hit you unexpectedly, a sudden queasiness that made your stomach twist. You shut your eyes, taking a slow, deep breath, trying to steady yourself. You hadn't been feeling well for a few days now, just a lingering discomfort you chalked up to the lack of proper food or maybe stress. Nothing in this world was kind to the body or the mind anymore.
You pushed yourself up, careful not to wake Joel, and swung your legs over the side of the bed, your feet touching the cold, cracked floor. The chill ran up your legs, making you shiver. You sat there for a moment, steadying yourself, pressing a hand against your stomach as if trying to calm the unease that rolled there. There was a strange heaviness to it, something that seemed different, something you couldnât quite put your finger on.
The thought crossed your mind, quick and unbidden, a possibility you immediately pushed away. It was too absurd, too impossible to consider. Not here, not now, not in this broken world.
You rose to your feet, steadying yourself on the edge of the table, your fingers brushing against the melted wax. You glanced back at Joel, who still hadnât stirred, his breathing deep and even. You knew he needed the sleep, needed a moment of peace, however fleeting. You moved quietly toward the window, peering out through the dirt-streaked glass. The world outside was shrouded in mist, the familiar shapes of the crumbling buildings barely visible in the pale morning light.
There was a time when you might have found the sight beautiful, in a melancholic way. Now it just seemed desolate. Empty.
Another wave of nausea hit, stronger this time, and you pressed a hand to your mouth, swallowing hard. You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself. You felt a sharp pang of fear, a sudden flash of panic that cut through the fog of morning fatigue. You forced it down, tried to stay calm. You couldnât afford to be anything else.
From behind you, you heard the faint rustle of the bed as Joel shifted, his voice rough and low. âYou, okay?â he murmured, still half-asleep, his words slurred with exhaustion.
You turned to look at him, forcing a smile, though you werenât sure he could see it in the dim light. âYeah⊠just a bit cold,â you lied softly, your voice barely more than a whisper.
He blinked at you, eyes heavy-lidded, and then nodded, seeming to accept it. âCome back to bed,â he mumbled, his voice carrying a warmth that made something in your chest tighten. âItâs still early.â
For a moment, you hesitated, feeling the cold air around you, the uncertainty pressing in. But then you moved back to the bed, sliding in beside him, feeling the heat of his body radiating through the thin layers of fabric. He reached out, pulling you close, his arm draping over you protectively, and you let out a breath you didnât realize youâd been holding.
You closed your eyes, savoring the feeling of safety as Joel stirred Joel stirred, his hand rubbing small, soothing circles on your back. âAre you sure you are, okay?â he murmured, his voice rough with sleep.
âYeah,â you whispered, hoping he couldnât hear the lie in your voice. âJust a headache.â
He kissed the top of your head, the simple gesture sending a pang of guilt through you. âYouâve been getting a lot of those lately,â he noted, concern creeping into his tone.
You forced a smile, even though he couldnât see it. âJust stress, I think.â
He hummed in response, not entirely convinced but willing to let it go for now. He gently nudged you off his chest, propping himself up on one elbow to get a better look at you. His eyes searched your face, and you had to fight the urge to look away. Joel had a way of seeing right through you, and you were afraid he might catch a glimpse of the truth you were hiding.
He frowned, clearly not convinced. âYouâve been sayingâ that a lot lately. Maybe you should rest today, stay in bed.â
You shook your head, knowing you couldnât afford to take a day off. Life in the QZ was unforgiving, and everyone had to pull their weight. âIâll be fine. Weâve got too much to do, and theyâre already short-handed at the ration line.â
You forced yourself to follow suit, pushing through the lingering nausea as you pulled on your worn clothes. The headache throbbed with each movement, but you bit back the discomfort, determined not to let it show. Joel kept glancing over at you, as if expecting you to collapse at any moment, but you just offered him a reassuring smile, even if it didnât reach your eyes.
Once you were both ready, you stepped out into the harsh reality of the QZ. The streets were crowded, people moving about with a sense of urgency, always on edge. You and Joel made your way through the throng, his hand resting on the small of your back, guiding you through the chaos.
At the ration line, the day passed in a blur of monotonous tasksâdistributing food, managing the restless crowd, keeping an eye out for trouble. But the ache in your head never fully faded, and every now and then, you had to pause, closing your eyes for a moment to steady yourself.
Joel noticed, of course. He was always watching, always worrying, though he tried to hide it behind a gruff exterior. âYou sure youâre alright?â he asked again when you took a brief break, his tone betraying his concern.
âYeah, just⊠Itâs probably just the air or something,â you said, shrugging it off. But you could tell he didnât believe you.
âSee you later, then?â he asked before parting ways with you to your different duties.
âYeah, see you later,â you replied, forcing a smile, trying to reassure him. Joel lingered for a moment, his eyes searching yours, he planted a kiss on your lips before turning to head off to his assigned area. You watched him go, feeling a mix of guilt and relief. You hated lying to him, but what could you say? That the world seemed to be spinning just a little bit too fast? That every time you bent over, a wave of nausea washed over you? It would only make him worry more.
The hours dragged on, the sun creeping across the sky, bringing with it a sticky heat that clung to your skin. By midday, your headache had grown worse, a steady throb that pounded behind your eyes. The noise of the crowd seemed to amplify the pain, voices blending into a harsh cacophony. You rubbed at your temples, willing it to stop, but it only seemed to make it worse.
At one point, while lifting another crate filled with canned goods, a sharp pain shot through your abdomen, causing you to drop the box with a loud thud. A few people nearby turned to look, but you waved them off, trying to catch your breath. The soldier supervising the line glanced over, raising an eyebrow. âYou good there?â he asked, his tone half-concerned, half-annoyed.
âYeah, Iâm fine,â you muttered, bending down to retrieve the cans that had spilled onto the ground. Your hands shook slightly, and you felt a bead of sweat roll down your back. The soldier didnât look convinced, but he didnât press further, turning his attention back to the line.
âThen clean the mess you madeâ he ordered.
You nodded, swallowing down the nausea that threatened to rise again. âYes, sir,â you replied, bending down to pick up the cans. Your fingers felt clumsy, and every time you moved, the pain in your abdomen seemed to sharpen, making it difficult to keep your breathing steady. Sweat dripped from your forehead, stinging your eyes, but you pushed through, determined not to draw any more attention to yourself.
As you gathered the last can, another wave of dizziness hit you, and you had to steady yourself against the crate to keep from toppling over. You glanced over your shoulder to see if the soldier was still watching, but he had already turned away, his focus elsewhere.
You took a deep breath, trying to will away the nausea, when you heard a familiar voice behind you. âHey, you, okay?â
Turning, you saw Tess standing there, her face set in a concerned frown. âYeah,â you lied, forcing a weak smile. âJust a rough day.â
Tess studied you for a moment, her eyes narrowing. âYou donât look so good,â she said quietly, stepping closer. âYouâre pale⊠and sweating like hell.â
You shrugged, trying to brush it off. âIâm fine, just⊠tired, I guess.â
Tess didn't seem convinced. Her sharp eyes swept over you, taking in every detail â the paleness of your skin, the way your hands trembled slightly as you held the cans. Her frown deepened, and you could practically feel the gears turning in her head.
âLook,â she said slowly, almost carefully, âI know you well enough to tell when youâre lying. And right now, youâre doing a pretty damn poor job of hiding whatever this is.â
Your heart started to pound in your chest, an uneasy thump that only made the nausea worse. You swallowed, glancing away from her probing stare. âI said Iâm fine, Tess,â you repeated, but your voice came out too shaky, too uncertain. Even you didnât believe it.
She took a step closer, lowering her voice. âDonât bullshit me,â she murmured, her tone firm but not unkind. âYouâve been off for days now⊠the headaches, the dizziness. Iâve seen this before. And Iâm pretty sure you know what Iâm talking about.â
You stiffened, shaking your head quickly. âNo, Tess,â you whispered, almost desperate. âItâs not that⊠it canât be.â
Tessâs expression softened, but there was still a hint of stubbornness there, a determination to get through to you. âListen,â she began, her voice a little gentler. âIâm not trying to scare you, but⊠you need to face this. If itâs what I think it is⊠then youâve got a lot to figure out.â
âPlease, Tess. Not nowâ you pleaded.
Tess hesitated, her eyes searching your face, but she nodded slowly, relenting â at least for the moment. "Alright," she said quietly, though the concern in her voice hadnât faded. "But you canât keep running from this forever."
You felt a lump in your throat as you looked away, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. "I just⊠I canât think about it right now," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "Thereâs too much going on, and⊠JoelâŠ"
Tess sighed, crossing her arms. "I get it," she replied softly. "But, you know, youâre not alone in this. Whatever it is, youâve got people who care about you. Joel might be rough around the edges, but⊠heâs not going to turn his back on you. Not now, not ever."
You swallowed hard, nodding, though you still felt like you were balancing on a knifeâs edge. "I know," you said, though doubt still gnawed at you. "Itâs justâŠ"
"Itâs scary," Tess finished for you, and you could only nod again, feeling suddenly very small. "But you donât have to go through it alone, alright?" she added, her voice softening. "Iâve got your back. Always."
You gave her a weak smile, grateful for her support, even if the fear still twisted inside you. "Thanks, Tess," you whispered.
She patted your shoulder, her touch gentle, almost sisterly. "Letâs get back to it," she said, glancing back toward the line. "But promise me⊠youâll think about what I said."
You nodded again, though your mind was spinning with a hundred different thoughts. "I promise," you murmured, even though you weren't sure if you meant it.
By the time you got back to the apartment, the sun was already low in the sky, casting long shadows through the broken blinds. Your legs felt heavy, your head still pounding from the stress of the day. As you pushed open the door, you were met with the stale, familiar scent of the small, dimly lit space that you and Joel called home. The silence was almost deafening, broken only by the faint creaking of the floorboards beneath your feet.
Your eyes scanned the room, and they quickly fell on Joel sprawled out on the bed, his face slack in sleep. But what caught your attention was the nearly empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the table next to him, beside a few scattered, white pills. A flare of anger ignited in your chest.
You walked over and grabbed the bottle, knocking it down onto the floor. The sound of the glass hitting the wood was loud, but Joel didnât stir. Frustration bubbled up inside you. âJoel,â you called out sharply, but he remained still, lost in whatever numbness heâd sought.
With a forceful shove, you shook his shoulder, your voice rising. âJoel, wake up!â you demanded. His eyes fluttered open slowly, bleary and unfocused. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision, and groaned.
âWhat?â he muttered, his voice thick with sleep and whatever haze the whiskey and pills had put him under.
Your hands clenched into fists at your sides. âWhat the hell, Joel?â you spat out, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and worry. âYouâre drinking and taking pills again? You promised me⊠you promised youâd stop!â
Joel blinked again, pushing himself up on one elbow, confusion and irritation crossing his face. âItâs just⊠itâs just to take the edge off,â he slurred, running a hand over his face. âYou donât get it.â
âNo, I do get it,â you shot back, your voice sharp. âI get that youâre hurting, Joel, I get you want to know where Tommy is but this is not the way.â
Joelâs eyes narrowed, some of the grogginess leaving his gaze. âIâm trying,â he muttered, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. âIâm doing the best I can, alright? Itâs not that easyâŠâ
You took a step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. âI need you, Joel,â you whispered, your voice breaking. âI need you here, with me⊠not drowning in a bottle. Weâre supposed to be in this together, remember?â
He looked away, his jaw tightening, but he didnât respond immediately. The silence stretched between you, heavy and tense. Finally, he let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping slightly. âHe is my brother, the only family I get left.â he muttered, almost too softly to hear.
âWhat about me?â you asked, voice trembling.
Damn, why were you getting so emotional.
Joel's brow furrowed, clearly caught off guard by your question. He blinked, as if trying to process your words, and then his expression softened. âWhat are you talkingâ about?â he asked gently, taking a step closer to you. âOf course, you're my family. You know that. Youâre everything.â His fingers brushed against your arm, tentative, as though he was still uncertain if youâd accept his touch.
You felt a lump forming in your throat, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. âThen why does it feel like Iâm not enough?â you murmured, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
Joel's thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping away a tear you hadnât realized had fallen. âYou are, sweetheart,â he murmured, his voice steady but soft. âI promise you are. Iâm just⊠Iâm scared. Scared of what could happen to you⊠to us.â
You looked up into his eyes, searching for somethingâan answer, a reassurance, anything to ease the turmoil inside you. "How are you feeling'?" he asked suddenly, his voice quieter, more tender than before.
The question caught you off guard. You blinked, trying to gather your thoughts. "I⊠I donât know," you admitted honestly. âTiredâŠâ
Joel nodded slowly, his hand slipping from your cheek to rest on your shoulder. âI know, I get it,â he said quietly. âBut you gotta promise me⊠if thereâs somethingâ wrong, youâll tell meâ
You nodded, âI promise.â
You wrapped your arms around Joel, pulling him into a tight embrace. The warmth of his body against yours was a small comfort, a fleeting sense of security in the chaos that seemed to be swirling around you. As you clung to him, the guilt and the weight of the hidden truth about your pregnancy settled heavily on your shoulders.
Joel held you close, his hand gently rubbing your back, his touch reassuring and steady. âIâm sorry,â you murmured into his shoulder, the words escaping almost involuntarily. âIâm sorry for everything.â
Joelâs arms tightened around you, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. âAinât nothinâ to be sorry for,â he said softly. âWeâre in this together, you hear me? Weâll get through it. Weâll figure it out.â
You nodded against him, feeling a mix of relief and deep-seated worry. The truth about the pregnancy was still looming, a secret that was becoming increasingly difficult to keep. Every time you looked at Joel, you could see the love and concern in his eyes, and it made the weight of your silence feel all the more burdensome.
As you slowly pulled away from the hug, you wiped at your eyes, trying to steady your emotions. Joel looked at you with a soft expression, his worry evident but tempered with the resolve to support you no matter what.
The thoughts of your pregnancy, the uncertainty of the future, and the fear of how this might change everything were still swirling in your mind. You felt a pang of guilt as you remembered Tess's words, and you struggled with the decision of when and how to reveal the truth.
Joel seemed to sense the inner conflict you were grappling with. âIf you need space, or if you need to talk about it,â he began, his voice steady, âjust let me know. Iâm here for you, no matter what.â You nodded, forcing a small, grateful smile. âThank you, Joel. I⊠I just need a little time.â
He nodded in understanding, and as you both sat down, the silence between you was filled with an unspoken promise of support and love.
You woke up a little later, feeling the soft warmth of Joelâs arm wrapped protectively around your waist. For a moment, you simply lay there, savoring the comfort and the faint sense of security his presence provided. The room was quiet, the only sound the steady rhythm of Joelâs breathing.
Gently, you eased yourself out of bed, careful not to disturb him. You tiptoed out of the bedroom, the coolness of the apartment a stark contrast to the warmth youâd left behind. As you walked through the small living space, you noticed that Tess was already up, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.
She looked up as you entered, her gaze softening. âHey,â she said quietly, setting the cup down. âHowâre you feeling?â
You offered her a small, tired smile. âBetter, thanks,â you replied, taking a seat across from her. âI just needed some space to think.â
Tess nodded; her expression thoughtful. âDid you think about what I say?â
You took a deep breath, considering Tess's question. âA little,â you admitted, your voice soft. âItâs just been overwhelming, and Iâm not sure how to handle everything yet.â
Tess studied you for a moment, her eyes reflecting both concern and a hint of sadness âAnd?â she reached across the table, placing a comforting hand over yours. âI understand itâs overwhelming,â she said gently. âBut you have to face it.â
You glanced down at your hands, gripping the edge of the table as if it might anchor you to the present moment. The room felt too small, the weight of your thoughts pressing heavily on your shoulders. âIt canât beâŠIâm scaredâ you confessed, your voice trembling slightly.
Tess took a deep breath, her expression softening. âTake the test, Iâll go with youâ she said, showing support.
âWha-wha-what? I donât have any testâ you said, voice trembling
Tess gave you a small, understanding smile, her hand still resting over yours. âI know,â she said softly. âBut thereâs a way to get one. I can ask around⊠discreetly. I have a contact who might be able to help.â
Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of fear and disbelief coursing through you. âYouâd do that? For me?â The idea of someone knowing, of even a whisper of this spreading through the QZ, sent a chill down your spine. But the calm certainty in Tessâs eyes steadied you.
âOf course,â she replied without hesitation. âIâve got your back, always. Weâve been through worse, havenât we?â
You nodded slowly, though the tight knot in your stomach seemed to twist even more. âYeah, I guess,â you muttered, trying to sound convinced, even though nothing had felt quite like this. âBut what if⊠what if itâs true, Tess? What do I do then?â
Tess squeezed your hand gently, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. âThen we figure it out, step by step,â she said. âFirst things first, we need to know for sure. Until then, try not to let your mind spiral, okay?â
You swallowed hard, nodding again, though your mind was already a storm of thoughts and worries. You could feel the weight of this new reality settling onto your shoulders, heavier than anything youâd felt before. âOkay,â you whispered. âIâll try.â
Tess stood up, giving your hand one last comforting squeeze before letting go. âIâll see what I can do tomorrow,â she promised. âGo back to bed and try to rest.â
Your mind raced with possibilities and fears as you made your way back to the small bedroom, trying to steady your breathing, to find some calm in the storm of your thoughts.
When you slipped back into the darkened room, Joel was still lying on his side, one arm stretched across the bed as if reaching for you even in sleep. You carefully lifted the blanket and slid back under it, trying not to wake him. But as soon as you settled in, his arm instinctively curled around your waist, pulling you close. His warmth enveloped you, and for a moment, you felt a flicker of safety.
Joel's voice came out in a sleepy murmur, rough around the edges. âWhere were you?â he mumbled; his breath warm against your neck. You could feel the weight of his arm, heavy and reassuring, holding you as if he sensed your unease.
âJust⊠talking to Tess,â you whispered back, trying to keep your voice steady.
His grip around you tightened slightly, his thumb tracing small circles against your side. Even in his half-asleep state, there was a protectiveness in the way he held you. âEverything okay?â he asked, still drowsy, but there was a hint of concern creeping into his tone.
You hesitated for a second, your heart beating faster. You didnât want to lie, but you also couldnât tell himânot yet, not until you knew for sure. âYeah,â you finally replied, trying to sound convincing.
Joel made a low, comforting sound, a mix between a hum and a sigh. He nuzzled closer, his lips brushing lightly against your shoulder. âDonât worry,â he murmured, his voice trailing off as sleep tried to claim him again. âWeâll figure it out⊠whatever it is.â
You bit your lip, feeling a lump form in your throat. You wanted to believe him, wanted to let his words soothe the fear gnawing at your insides. But all you could do was rest your hand over his, feeling the roughness of his skin beneath your palm, grounding yourself in his presence.
âYeah,â you whispered back, more to yourself than to him. âWe always do.â
Joelâs breathing began to slow again, deepening as he drifted back to sleep. You closed your eyes, pressing yourself closer against him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.
âI love youâ you whispered to him, breaking the silence. You were afraid of losing him.
For a moment, there was only the quiet of the room, the soft hum of the distant generator outside, and the gentle rhythm of Joel's breath against your skin. You wondered if he'd even heard you, or if your whispered words had been lost in the space between wakefulness and sleep.
Then, you felt his grip tighten around you, his hand moving to hold you closer, almost as if he was afraid, you might slip away. His lips brushed against your shoulder, a tender, lingering kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. "I love you too," he murmured, his voice a deep, husky whisper in the darkness. There was a raw honesty in his words, an openness that you rarely heard from him, as if he understood the fear hidden beneath your confession.
His lips pressed against your shoulder again, this time firmer, more deliberate. "Ain't nothing gonna change that," he added softly, his breath warm against your skin. His thumb stroked gently over the fabric of your shirt, tracing soothing patterns that spoke of comfort and promises unspoken.
You closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you, feeling a mix of relief and longing. The fear still lingered, but in this moment, held in his arms, it felt a little more manageable. You leaned back into him, feeling the strength in his body, the steady beat of his heart against your back.
Joel held you tighter, as if sensing your need for reassurance. "We'll get through this," he whispered. "Whatever it is, we'll face it together. You and me."
You nodded against him, unable to find your voice, your heart swelling with the weight of everything unsaid. "Together," you repeated softly, your hand squeezing his, grounding yourself in his presence.
For now, that was enough.
Joel woke up slowly, his body protesting against the cold air that had settled in the room overnight. He blinked against the dim light filtering through the cracked blinds, reaching out instinctively to your side of the bed, only to find it empty. His hand moved across the sheets, finding them cool, your warmth long gone.
He sat up, a frown creasing his brow as a flicker of worry ran through him. He scanned the room, half-expecting to see you in the corner, maybe getting dressed or lost in thought, but the room was still, too still. He called your name, softly at first, then a little louder. No answer.
His heart quickened as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, grabbing his jeans from the chair and yanking them on. The apartment was quiet, eerily so, with no sign of movement or life. His boots hit the floor with a dull thud as he pulled them on, his gaze darting around the small space.
Where the hell were you?
He moved quickly to the kitchen, eyes scanning the counters, the sinkâanywhere you might have left a note, a sign of where youâd gone. But there was nothing. Just the quiet hum of the building settling around him. He glanced toward the front door, noticing Tess's boots missing from their usual spot. A knot of unease tightened in his chest. Neither of you were there.
He ran a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath. You wouldnât have left without telling him, not without saying something. And Tessâshe was always up to something, but she never left you behind. He felt his pulse quicken, a gnawing sense of dread creeping in as he grabbed his jacket from the hook near the door, slipping it on with practiced haste.
Joel pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway, his boots echoing against the worn floorboards. He looked around, scanning for any sign of you or Tess. The hallway was empty, but a few doors down, a neighborâa middle-aged man Joel recognized but didnât know wellâwas stepping out, adjusting his coat.
âHey,â Joel called out, his voice sharper than intended. The man looked up, surprised. âYou seen them?â He gestured back to your apartment.
The man shook his head slowly, clearly unsure who Joel was referring to. âNah, havenât seen anyone this morning,â he replied. âEverything okay?â
Joel forced a tight smile, though his stomach was churning with worry. âYeah, fine,â he muttered, turning away. He started down the stairs, moving quickly, almost without thinking. His mind raced, a thousand worst-case scenarios flashing through his thoughts. Where could you be? Why hadnât you said anything?
He made his way down to the ground floor, heading toward the small communal area near the entrance, where a few people were already gathered, murmuring quietly among themselves. He scanned the room, his eyes searching, hoping to catch a glimpse of you or Tess.
âJoel!â A voice cut through the chatter, and he turned to see one of Tessâs contactsâDanny, a wiry guy with a nervous energyâwaving him over. Joelâs heart jumped. Maybe Danny had seen you.
âWhereâs Tess?â Joel asked as he approached, not bothering with pleasantries.
Dannyâs face tightened slightly, and he glanced around, lowering his voice. âShe went out early, looking for something⊠didnât say what. Figured you knew.â
Joel clenched his jaw, frustration flaring in his chest. âAnd her?â he asked, his voice edged with urgency. âYou see her?â
Danny shook his head. âNo, man. I just saw Tess.â
Joel felt a chill run down his spine. He took a step back, his mind racing with questions. If Tess had gone out and you werenât with her, then where the hell were you?
He turned, scanning the room one more time, then made a decision. He needed to find you, now. Whatever this was, wherever you were, he wasnât going to wait around and let worry tear him apart.
You sat in Lydia's small, cluttered living room, nerves thrumming beneath your skin like a live wire. The room smelled faintly of antiseptic and old books, a comforting combination that somehow made you feel more at ease, despite the circumstances. Lydia's place was a small haven in the chaos of the QZ, filled with mismatched furniture, faded floral curtains, and a few potted plants she somehow managed to keep alive. The doctor herself, an older woman with graying hair pulled back into a messy bun, moved around the space with a calm, practiced efficiency. Her hands were steady, her expression focused but kind.
Tess stood beside you, her presence a quiet reassurance. She had her arms crossed, her foot tapping lightly against the worn wooden floor as she watched Lydia prepare a small kit on the table. Lydia glanced over at you, her eyes soft with a mixture of concern and affection. âYou look pale, sweetheart,â she said, her voice gentle but firm. âYouâve been keeping up with your food and water?â
You managed a small nod, though your stomach felt like it was tied in knots. âYeah, just⊠a lot on my mind,â you murmured. Your voice sounded small in the stillness of the room.
Lydia nodded knowingly, her gaze flicking to Tess for a moment before returning to you. âIâve seen that look before,â she said softly. âIt's not easy, being in this kind of situation⊠but youâre not alone, okay?â
You bit your lip, feeling a lump form in your throat again. âThanks, Lydia⊠I just⊠Iâm scared,â you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. âI donât know what to do if⊠if itâs true.â
Lydia came over to you, setting a warm hand on your shoulder. âItâs okay to be scared,â she said kindly.
You nodded, taking a deep breath as she handed you a small, well-worn plastic device. A pregnancy test. It felt surreal holding it in your hand, the weight of it much heavier than its actual size.
Lydiaâs expression softened. âThe bathroom is down the hall,â she instructed gently. âTake your time, and when you're ready, come back out. No rush.â
You glanced at Tess, who gave you a reassuring nod. âGo on,â she urged softly. âIâll be right here.â
Swallowing hard, you stood up, clutching the test in your hand, and made your way down the narrow hallway to the small, dimly lit bathroom. The old mirror above the sink was cracked, reflecting your nervous expression in fragmented pieces. You took a deep breath, feeling the cool tile under your bare feet, and tried to steady your racing heart.
The minutes stretched out as you stood there, staring at the test in your hands, feeling the weight of this decision. You knew that everything could change in an instantâyour life, your relationship with Joel, everything you thought you knew about the world and your place in it.
You finally gathered your courage, took the test, and set it on the sink. You watched it like it might explode, the seconds ticking by with agonizing slowness. You could hear the muffled voices of Tess and Lydia down the hall, their words indistinct but soothing in their familiarity.
And then, after what felt like an eternity, you saw the result. Your breath caught in your throat, your knees feeling weak. You stared at it, your mind struggling to catch up, to process what you were seeing.
It was positive.
You felt a wave of emotions crash over youâfear, confusion, a strange sense of disbelief. You gripped the edge of the sink, needing something solid to hold on to, to keep yourself from spiraling. Tears welled in your eyes, unbidden, and you blinked them back, swallowing hard.
You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself before turning back toward the door. You stepped out of the bathroom, your face pale, your hands trembling slightly.
Tess was the first to notice, her eyes widening as she saw your expression. She moved quickly to your side, her hand gripping your arm gently. âHey⊠whatâs the result?â she asked, though the look on your face already told her everything.
Lydia stepped closer; her eyes filled with empathy. âItâs okay, sweetheart,â she murmured. âJust take a breath.â
You looked at them both, your voice barely a whisper. âItâs⊠itâs positive,â you admitted, your heart pounding. âIâm⊠Iâm pregnant.â
Tess squeezed your arm, a mixture of concern and determination on her face. âOkay,â she said firmly. âWeâre going to handle this. Weâre gonna figure it out.â
Lydia nodded; her expression warm. âYouâre not alone in this,â she reassured you. âWeâll do what we can to make sure youâre safe⊠and healthy.â
You swallowed hard, feeling the tears spill over despite your best efforts to hold them back. âWhat⊠what do I do now?â you asked, your voice shaking. âI donât want anyone to know this, okay?â
âJoelâs has to knowâ Tess said.
âNo.â Your voice came out sharper than you intended, a flash of panic twisting through your chest. âNo,â you repeated, firmer this time. âI canât⊠I canât tell him. Not yet.â
Tessâs eyes narrowed slightly, but her expression remained calm. âWhy not?â she asked gently, though there was a hint of insistence in her voice. âHe deserves to know. Heâs going to find out sooner or later.â
You shook your head, feeling the tears start to flow again. âI just⊠Iâm not ready,â you whispered, your voice trembling. âHeâs already dealing with so much, with losing contact with Tommy, and⊠I donât want to put this on him. Not when I donât even know how I feel about it yet.â
Lydia placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, her touch steady and grounding. âItâs okay to feel this way,â she said softly. âBut Tess is right. Joel will need to know eventually. Heâs your partner⊠in all of this.â
You bit your lip, trying to steady your breath. âI just need some time,â you murmured, feeling a deep ache in your chest. âPlease⊠donât say anything to him. Not until I figure out how to even say it myself.â
Tess sighed, a mixture of frustration and understanding on her face. âAlright,â she agreed quietly, but you knew she was lying.
She walked towards the door before you saying to Lydia âIâll pay you later.â
âThere is no need, Iâd do anything for this one hereâ she said, squeezing your shoulder.
Tess gave Lydia a small nod, but her expression was tight, her jaw set. You could sense the conflict simmering beneath her calm exterior. You knew Tess well enough to recognize that she wasnât pleased with your decision. She paused at the door, one hand resting on the frame, before turning back to you.
âAlright,â she said again, this time her voice softer, almost resigned. âWe need to get back. Joelâs probably tearing his hair out by now.â There was a hint of a wry smile, but it didnât quite reach her eyes. You felt a pang of guilt; you could only imagine how worried Joel must be at this point.
Lydia gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. âTake care of yourself, okay?â she said softly. âAnd if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me.â
You managed a small, grateful smile. âThank you, Lydia⊠for everything,â you whispered, feeling a rush of emotion swell in your chest.
Tess opened the door and stepped outside, waiting for you to follow. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, before moving to join her. As you stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, Tess glanced at you, her expression unreadable.
âYou know heâs gonna ask where we were,â she muttered, keeping her voice low. âAnd you know I wonât lie to him.â
Your heart sank a little. âI know,â you admitted quietly. âJust⊠donât tell him yet, okay? I need to be the one to do it, Tess.â
She nodded, but the tension in her shoulders didnât ease. âYou better tell him soon,â she warned her tone more serious now. âBecause if you donât, I will.â
Two days had passed since you were delivered the news, and as you went through your shift, the morning sun cast a pale light over the QZ, and the usual noise of activity buzzed around you. You focused on your tasks, trying to push through the lingering fatigue and nausea. Despite your efforts to stay steady, a wave of nausea hit you suddenly, making your stomach churn violently.
You stumbled to the side, clutching your midsection as you struggled to keep yourself upright. Before you could react, the contents of your stomach erupted, and you doubled over, throwing up onto the ground. The sudden and intense discomfort left you gasping for breath, feeling a mix of embarrassment and distress.
Nearby, a few of your co-workers glanced over, their faces a mixture of concern and discomfort. One of them approached, a frown on his face. âYou alright? Maybe you should sit down or get some fresh air.â
You shook your head, trying to regain your composure. âIâm fine,â you managed to say, though your voice was shaky. âJust⊠give me a moment.â
The soldier supervising the shift, who had already been keeping an eye on you, approached with a stern expression. âWhatâs going on? You canât be throwing up in the middle of work. If youâre sick, you need to go home.â
You tried to protest, but your weakened state made it hard to argue. âIâm okay,â you said weakly. âI just need a minute.â
Before you could say more, Joel appeared, his face etched with concern as he hurried over to you. He placed a supportive hand on your back. âYou need to go home,â he said firmly, his eyes filled with worry. âYouâre not doing yourself any good pushing through like this.â
The soldier gave Joel a skeptical look. âShe needs to get back to work. We canât afford to have people slacking off.â
Joelâs expression hardened, and he took a protective step forward. âSheâs not slacking off. Sheâs sick. You wanna have her work herself into the ground? Take her home, and Iâll deal with it.â
The soldier seemed taken aback by Joelâs intensity but eventually relented, grumbling under his breath. âFine. Take her home, Miller. We donât need sick people on duty.â
Joel nodded, helping you to your feet and wrapping an arm around you for support. âLetâs get you outta here,â he said gently, guiding you toward the exit.
As you walked out of the QZ, the cool air was a welcome relief, but the anxiety and guilt still gnawed at you. âIâm sorry,â you murmured, your voice barely audible.
Joel glanced at you, his eyes softening. âYou donât need to apologize, honey.â With Joelâs reassuring presence beside you, you made your way back to the apartment, each step feeling a bit heavier as you faced the reality of your situation.
When you and Joel arrived back at the apartment, you were both greeted by the quiet, familiar surroundings. Tess was sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes lifting from a worn-out map sheâd been studying. She looked up as you entered, her expression shifting from concern to relief.
âHey, youâre back,â Tess said, standing up quickly. âHow are you feeling?â
Joel helped you inside, guiding you to the couch. âSheâs not feeling great,â he said, his voice low. âShe had another wave of nausea at work.â
Tess crossed the room, taking a seat next to you on the couch. âAlright, letâs get you comfortable,â she said, her tone gentle. She reached for a blanket and draped it over you, her eyes scanning your face with worry.
You nodded weakly, feeling the exhaustion and the strain of the morning catching up with you. âThanks, Tess,â you murmured, settling into the couch as Joel stood nearby, his hands resting on his hips, clearly trying to mask his concern.
Tess turned to Joel. âYou should take a break, too,â she suggested. âI can keep an eye on her for a bit.â
âNo.â Joel glanced at you, âI want to know whatâs happening, and donât lie to meâ he demanded, especially to you.
You frightened under his stare. You looked over at Tess looking for a way of reassurance.
Tess met Joelâs gaze steadily, her own concern evident. âJoel,â she began softly, âwe need to approach this carefully. We donât want to push her too hard.â
Joelâs eyes softened slightly, but his jaw remained set. âI just want to understand whatâs going on. Sheâs been sick for days, and I need to know why.â
You took a shaky breath, feeling the weight of both their stares. âJoel,â you said quietly, âIâve been⊠trying to manage. Itâs been hard to admit, but⊠Tess might be right. Iâm not sure how to handle it all.â
Tess reached out, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. âWhat weâre dealing with isnât just a simple illness. Itâs important that we address it properly.â
Joelâs expression shifted from frustration to deep concern. âWhat are you saying?â he asked, his voice softer now, but still laced with worry.
âJoel, IâŠIâ you wanted to tell him, but you couldnât find the words or the courage to do it.
Joel's gaze was intense, waiting for you to continue. Tessâs hand on your shoulder was a grounding presence, urging you to find the strength to speak.
You took another deep breath, the lump in your throat making it hard to talk. âJoel,â you began again, your voice trembling, âIâve been feeling⊠really sick, and itâs more than just the usual stuff. Itâs⊠itâs becauseâŠâ
Again, your voice got cut.
âBecause of what?â he demanded.
âShe is pregnant, Joelâ Tess answered for you.
Joelâs face went pale as he absorbed Tessâs words. His eyes flickered between you and Tess, trying to reconcile the new information with what he had seen in you recently. The silence in the room grew heavy, punctuated only by the sound of your shallow breaths.
Joelâs hands dropped to his sides, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief. âPregnant?â he repeated, almost as if he couldnât believe it. His voice was a mix of confusion and pain, and he took a step back, needing space to process this revelation.
You nodded, tears threatening to spill again. âI didnât want to tell you like this,â you said quietly. âIâve been trying to manage, but itâs been really hard.â
Joel ran a hand through his hair, pacing slightly as he tried to gather his thoughts. He turned away from you, his face contorted with frustration. âGoddammit,â he muttered, running a hand through his hair again, the tension in his body palpable. âThis⊠this is just too much.â
You flinched at his outburst, tears spilling freely now. âJoel, pleaseââ you began, but he cut you off, his voice rising.
âDo you have any idea what this means?â Joelâs tone was harsh, though there was a tremor of anguish beneath the anger. âWeâre barely surviving as it is, and now⊠now youâre telling me youâre pregnant?â
Tess stepped in, placing a firm hand on Joelâs shoulder. âJoel, this isnât helping,â she said sharply. âShe needs support right now, not anger.â
Joel shrugged off her hand, his frustration boiling over. âI know, I know,â he snapped. âBut itâs a lot to take in! I canât just ignore it!â
You watched, your heart breaking as you saw Joelâs struggle to come to terms with the news. âJoel,â you said, trying to reach out to him despite your own pain, âIâm sorry. I didnât want to add to the stress, but I didnât know how else to handle it.â
Joelâs eyes met yours, and for a moment, the anger in his gaze faltered, replaced by a deep sadness. âI just⊠I donât know how to fix this,â
he said, his voice dropping to a strained whisper. âI thought we had a chance to figure things out. Now everythingâs just falling apart.â
Tess moved closer; her voice softer but firm. âJoel, getting angry wonât solve anything. We need to focus on what we can do now. What matters is getting her the help she needs.
âWe were supposed to leave to find Tommy and now we wonât be able to.â He said, angry.
âWhat?â you asked, absorbing the new information.
Joelâs gaze dropped to the floor, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. âWe were planning to leave for Tommyâs,â he said, his voice tight with frustration. âBut with this⊠we might not be able to. Weâre stuck here now, trying to figure out how to manage all this mess.â
You stared at him, the realization hitting you like a cold wave. âWait, you were planning to leave? To find Tommy?â
Joel nodded, rubbing a hand over his face. âYeah, Tess and I thought it was the best chance for us. Tommyâs got connections, and he might be able to help us get through this. But nowâŠâ His voice trailed off, the anger and sadness mixing in his eyes. âNow, everythingâs fucked up.â
âWhen were you planning to tell me?â You asked, hurt.
Joelâs face fell at your question, and he looked away, struggling to find the right words. âI wasnât⊠I didnât mean to keep it from you,â he said, his voice rough. âThings were just⊠so complicated. We thought we had more time to figure things out before we had to tell you.â
You felt a pang of hurt at his words. âSo, you were just going to leave me in the dark? You were planning to leave without even talking to me about it?â
Joel looked back at you; his eyes filled with regret. âNo, thatâs not what I meant. Of course you were coming with us.â
âBut now Iâm a burden.â You uttered a thought Joel perhaps was having.
Joelâs face tightened at your words, the weight of your accusation clearly hitting him hard. âThatâs not what I meant,â he said quickly, his voice strained. âYouâre not a burden, never say that again.â
You stood up, your emotions swirling, a mix of hurt and frustration. âThen why does it feel like everythingâs falling apart because of me?â you asked, your voice trembling.
You stood up, your emotions swirling, a mix of hurt and frustration. âThen why does it feel like everythingâs falling apart because of me?â you asked, your voice trembling. Tears began to spill down your cheeks, the weight of the situation overwhelming you. âIâm pregnant and I donât know what to do. I thought you were going to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, butâfuck this!â You turned abruptly and walked towards the bedroom, trying to escape the chaos of your emotions.
Joel's heart ached as he watched you go, his own emotions roiling. He hesitated for a moment before following you, his steps heavy with regret and worry. He reached the bedroom door just as you were sinking onto the edge of the bed, your shoulders shaking with sobs.
âHey,â Joel said softly, his voice carrying a note of desperation. âIâm sorry. I didnât mean for any of this. I was just⊠scared and confused. I shouldâve been there for you, and I wasnât.â
You didnât look up, focusing on trying to control your breathing. âLeave me alone.â You wiped your tears with the back of your hand, feeling his presence beside you.
âLeave, Joel.â You sobbed.
Joelâs heart sank further as you pushed him away, the pain in your voice cutting him deeply. He hesitated at the bedroom door, torn between his desire to comfort you and the need to respect your space.
âAlright,â Joel said softly, his voice almost a whisper. âIâll give you some time. Iâm sorry.â With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you alone with your emotions.
As Joel retreated, Tess quietly entered the room. She found you on the edge of the bed, still shaking with sobs. Without saying a word, she sat down beside you, offering silent support. Tessâs presence was calm and steady, a stark contrast to the turmoil you felt inside.
âHey,â Tess said gently, placing a comforting hand on your back. âIâm here. Just breathe. Weâll get through this.â
You looked up at her, your eyes red and tearful. Tess didnât try to force conversation; instead, she simply sat with you, her hand a reassuring presence on your back. Slowly, the comforting silence and Tessâs steady presence began to soothe you. Your breathing gradually steadied, and the tears started to subside.
Tess helped you settle into a more comfortable position on the bed, making sure you were warm and covered. As you drifted off to sleep, the emotional exhaustion finally taking its toll, Tess stayed by your side, her watchful gaze softening with concern.
After a while, Tess glanced toward the door and saw Joel standing there, his expression one of deep regret and sorrow. He looked as though he was trying to come to terms with everything that had happened. Tess gave him a sympathetic nod before turning her attention back to you.
âI know this isnât the ideal situation,â Tess began, her tone firm yet understanding. âBut she needs you now, Joel. More than ever.â
Joelâs jaw clenched, his eyes flicking from Tess to where you lay curled up on the bed, still trembling from your tears. âI donât know if I can do this, Tess,â he whispered, his voice barely audible, filled with the weight of his fears.
Tess placed a hand on his arm, squeezing gently. âYouâve got to try,â she urged. âSheâs scared, and she needs you to be there for her. You donât have to have all the answers, but you do need to stay. You need to lay down next to her and protect her, like you always have.â
Joel looked at her, conflicted, the fight still lingering in his eyes. But Tess didnât back down, her gaze unwavering. âSheâs not asking you to be perfect, Joel. Sheâs asking you to be there.â
For a moment, Joel hesitated, the weight of the decision hanging heavy in the air. But then, slowly, he nodded, the tension in his shoulders easing just a fraction. He walked over to the bed, his movements careful and deliberate as he lay down beside you, his presence cautious but steady.
You stirred slightly, sensing his nearness even in your sleep, and instinctively moved closer to him, seeking the comfort you had always found in his arms. Joel wrapped an arm around you, holding you gently, as if afraid you might break. And as Tess watched, she saw the fear and anger in his eyes slowly give way to something softer.
The room was quiet, save for the sound of your breathing, as you finally found peace in sleep. Joel stayed awake, his thoughts still tangled, but his grip on you never faltered. Tess left the room quietly, leaving the two of you to find whatever solace you could in each other.
Joel lay beside you, staring up at the cracked ceiling of the apartment. He couldnât sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind raced, replaying the argument from earlier and the harsh truths he had tried to push away for so long. The room was quiet now, but his thoughts were anything but.
His gaze shifted to you, lying peacefully next to him, your breathing soft and even. You looked so small, so fragile, and it hit him all over again just how much had changed in the span of a few hours. The life growing inside you was a reality he couldnât ignore anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. He watched you, his heart heavy with a mix of fear, guilt, and something he hadnât allowed himself to feel in a long timeâhope.
The thought of becoming a father again terrified him. After Sarah, after everything he had lost, he didnât know if he could survive that kind of pain again. But here you were, carrying his child, and it was as if the world was asking him to take that risk all over again. He didnât know if he had it in him, but as he watched you sleep, so peaceful and trusting, he realized that you were counting on him.
Joel stayed awake through the night, his thoughts swirling with memories of Sarah, the life he had lost, and the uncertain future ahead. He wanted to protect you, to shield you from the harshness of the world outside, but he didnât know if he was strong enough to protect you both from the dangers that lay ahead. The weight of responsibility felt crushing, yet he knew he couldnât turn awayânot now, not ever.
As the first light of dawn began to seep through the cracks in the curtains, Joelâs exhaustion finally began to catch up with him. His eyes grew heavy, and despite his best efforts, he drifted into a restless sleep, his arm still draped protectively over you.
When he finally woke, the apartment was filled with the pale light of early morning. He blinked groggily, his mind still clouded with sleep, but something felt off. The warmth of your body beside him was gone. He reached out, his hand finding only the empty space where you had been.
Panic flared in his chest as he sat up quickly, his eyes scanning the room. The bed was cold where you had lain, and the room was eerily silent. âWhere the hell are you?â he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair as he forced himself out of bed.
His heart pounded in his chest as he searched the small apartment, calling your name, but there was no answer. The sense of dread he had felt the night before came rushing back, stronger than ever. He knew you couldnât have gone far, but the thought of you out there alone, especially in your condition, made his stomach twist with worry.
Joel threw on his jacket, his movements frantic as he prepared to leave and search for you. He couldnât bear the thought of something happening to you, not when he had just realized how much he needed you. As he headed for the door, he stopped short, his hand gripping the doorknob tightly. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down, to think. You were strong, capableâhe knew that. But still, the protective urge in him screamed to find you, to bring you back and keep you safe.
With one last glance around the empty apartment, Joel stepped outside, his mind racing as he tried to figure out where you might have gone. He couldnât lose youânot now, not ever.
Joel knew you had a habit of going to certain places when you needed spaceâwhen you needed to clear your head. He made his way through the maze of streets, his mind fixated on finding you. As he walked, his thoughts spiraled. What if you were angry enough to leave the QZ? What if youâd decided you didnât want to face him again? The guilt from the night before weighed heavily on him, and the fear that heâd pushed you away was overwhelming.
He headed towards a small, secluded spot behind one of the less-used buildingsâa place you often went when you needed to be alone. It was out of sight from most people, offering a rare bit of privacy in the crowded QZ. As he turned the corner, his breath caught in his throat. There you were, sitting on an old, crumbling bench, your hands clasped tightly in your lap.
Relief washed over him, so intense it almost brought him to his knees. For a moment, he just stood there, taking in the sight of you. You looked small and lost, your shoulders hunched as if the weight of the world had finally settled on them. But you were safe. You were here. That was all that mattered.
He approached slowly, not wanting to startle you. The crunch of gravel under his boots made you look up, your eyes meeting his. The raw emotion in your gazeâfear, uncertainty, and something that looked like regretâhit him like a punch to the gut.
Joel stopped a few feet away, unsure of what to say, how to bridge the gap that had opened between you. His mouth opened, but no words came out. What could he possibly say to make this better? To fix the hurt he had caused?
âI didnât mean to leave,â you finally said, your voice small and fragile. âI justâŠneeded to think.â
Joel nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. âI get it,â he replied, his voice rough with emotion. He took a cautious step closer, wanting to reach out, but unsure if you wanted him to. âI shouldnât have⊠I shouldnât have let you leave like that.â
You shook your head, a tear slipping down your cheek. âItâs not your fault. I justââ Your voice broke, and you wiped at your eyes, frustration evident in the gesture. âI donât know how to deal with all of this. Itâs too much, Joel. Everything is too much.â
âI donât know if I can do this,â you whispered, the words barely audible.
Joel crouched down in front of you, his hand still on your shoulder, his gaze locked onto yours. âWe donât have to have all the answers right now,â he said softly.
âThere isnât a place for raising a baby.â You spoke, looking down at your hands, the thoughts swirling in your mind too overwhelming to express. âLydia could help me,â you whispered, almost to yourself. âShe could help meâŠterminate it.â
Joelâs reaction was immediate, his voice hard and unyielding. âNo.â The word came out sharper than he intended, and he saw you flinch. He softened his tone, but the resolve remained. âWeâre not doing that.â
You looked up at him, your eyes wide with a mixture of fear and confusion. âBut, Joel, what ifââ you began, but he cut you off.
âI said no,â he repeated, more firmly this time. âWeâre not ending this.â
Tears welled up in your eyes, the intensity of the moment overwhelming you. âBut Iâm scared, Joel,â you confessed, your voice breaking. âWhat if we canât do this? What if itâs too much?â
Joel crossed the room in two long strides and knelt in front of you, his hands gently cupping your face. âIâm scared too,â he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. âBut I canât lose you.â
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you looked into his eyes, the weight of the decision pressing down on you. âI donât know if I can do this,â you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. âYouâre not alone in this,â he murmured into your hair. âWeâll do it together. Whatever happens, weâll face it together.â
You clung to him, the fear and uncertainty still gnawing at you, but for the first time since youâd found out, you felt a small measure of comfort. Joel wasnât backing down, and maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
âI love you and I wonât leave you alone, babyâ he whispered, kissing your lips.
Joelâs words wrapped around you like a lifeline, pulling you back from the edge of your fears. You clung to him, your grip tight but gentle, as if you were afraid, he might disappear again. The warmth of his embrace, the sincerity in his voice, and the tenderness of his kiss were all anchors in the storm that had been swirling inside you.
âI love you too,â you whispered back, your voice thick with emotion. You could feel the tears drying on your cheeks, replaced by a sense of tentative hope. The weight of your worries didnât vanish, but Joelâs presence made them seem a little more manageable.
Joel gently cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the remaining tears from your cheeks. âWeâre gonna get through this,â he said firmly. âI donât know how, but we will. Weâre a team. Weâve faced worse before.â
You nodded, finding strength in his conviction. âOkay,â you murmured, feeling a flicker of warmth in your chest. âIâll try to believe that.â
Joelâs eyes softened as he leaned in closer, pressing his forehead to yours. âWeâll figure it out together,â he promised. âBut right now, my focus is taking care of you and the baby.â
Hours later, the apartment was quiet once again, save for the soft hum of a generator and the occasional creak of the building settling into its nightly stillness. You had managed to distract yourself with small tasks around the apartment, trying to keep your mind occupied and calm. The weight of the conversation with Joel still lingered, but his earlier reassurance had brought a sense of calm you hadn't expected.
You were in the middle of organizing some supplies when you heard the front door open. The sound of footsteps followed, and a few moments later, Joel's voice cut through the quiet. It was a familiar, comforting sound, but this time, it was tinged with an edge of frustration.
âYou think this is a joke?â Joelâs voice was sharp, and you could hear the anger in his tone.
You quickly moved toward the front of the apartment, concern etching across your face. When you reached the living area, you saw Joel standing in the doorway, his face set in a hard line. Beside him stood a teenagerâa girl who looked no older than sixteen. Her clothes were ragged, and she had a wary, defensive posture.
The girlâs eyes flickered between you and Joel, her expression a mix of fear and defiance. Joelâs anger was palpable, and it was clear that the situation was tense.
âJoel, whatâs going on?â you asked, trying to keep your voice steady, though you felt a pang of anxiety at the sight of the girl and the intensity of Joelâs demeanor.
Joel's eyes shifted to you, the anger in them still evident but now mixed with a hint of exhaustion. âSheâs got a name,â he said, gesturing toward the girl. âHer nameâs Ellie.â
Ellie looked up at you, her eyes wary but hopeful. Joelâs expression softened slightly as he continued, âTurns out sheâs supposed to be delivered to the Fireflies.
You glanced at Joel, understanding dawning. âYouâre going to take her to them,â you said, looking back at Ellie. âAnd youâll have the chance to find Tommy along the way.â
Joel nodded, a hint of resignation in his stance. âYeah, thatâs the deal,â he said.
âBut what aboutââ
Joel cut you off gently. âI know itâs a lot to take in. We need to leave now. Thereâs an opportunity for us to get out of the QZ and head to a place where things might be better. But it means we have to move fast.â
Ellie shifted uncomfortably, glancing between you and Joel. âI donât want to be a problem,â she said quietly. âIf itâs too muchââ
âNo,â you interrupted, shaking your head. âItâs not that. I just⊠Iâm not sure what to do. I mean, this is all so sudden.â
Joel stepped closer, his expression earnest. âWe donât have much time. We need to move quickly before things get worse. I know itâs hard, but this is our chance to get out of here. To find some place where we can start over.â
You looked at Joel, the weight of his words sinking in. âAnd what about the baby?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. âHow will weââ
âWeâll figure it out,â Joel said firmly. âWe have to. Thereâs no time to waste. This is our chance to make a new life, to give the baby a better chance.â
You took a deep breath, feeling the gravity of the situation. âAlright,â you said finally, nodding. âIâll do it. Weâll go. Just⊠letâs make sure weâre ready.â
Joelâs face softened with relief, and he gave a nod. âGood. Tess will be back soon. We need to pack up and get out before anyone notices weâre gone.â
As you hurriedly packed, a thought clawed at the back of your mind, growing louder and louder until it burst out of you in a shaky whisper. "But Iâll be a burden," you said, your voice breaking. "Iâll slow you down, Joel. You know it."
Joel stopped what he was doing, turning to face you. "No," he said firmly, the word cutting through the tense air like a knife. He crossed the room in a few quick strides and cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. There was a fierce intensity in his gaze, something raw and unwavering.
"Youâre not a burden," he insisted, his voice low and filled with emotion. "You're the reason I wake up every day. I wouldnât be alive if it wasnât for you, baby. Without you⊠without you, nothing makes sense anymore."
Your breath hitched, and tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to him, his words breaking down the walls you had built around your fears. Joelâs hands trembled slightly as he continued, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped down your cheek.
"So, if this is the chance I have to give you a life you deserve in this shithole," he went on, his voice steady but thick with emotion, "then Iâll take it. Iâll take you with me and give it to you and our baby. I promise you, Iâll do whatever it takes to make sure youâre both safe. I wonât lose you. Not now, not ever."
You could feel his sincerity, the depth of his determination to protect you and the life growing inside you. You felt a wave of emotions crashing over youâfear, relief, hope, and love, all swirling together. You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch, letting his words sink in.
"Joel," you whispered, your voice trembling, "I⊠I donât know if Iâm ready for this, for any of this."
His grip on your face tightened just a bit, his gaze never wavering. "Neither do I," he admitted. "But weâll figure it out. Weâve faced worse, and weâre still standing. Weâll get through this. Together."
You nodded slowly, your heart hammering in your chest. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours, and you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin. "Iâm not letting you go," he murmured.
Ellie stood by the door, her arms crossed, an incredulous look on her face. "Are you seriously risking your pregnant girlfriend?" she asked, her voice sharp with disbelief. She looked between the two of you, clearly struggling to understand the situation.
Joel turned his head, a flicker of annoyance crossing his features, but he kept his voice calm. "It's not that simple, kid."
Ellie scoffed. "Seems pretty simple to me," she shot back. "You're dragging her and⊠whatever's in thereâ" she gestured vaguely toward your stomach, "âthrough god knows what to get me to the Fireflies. What if something happens?"
You took a deep breath, stepping forward to meet Ellieâs eyes. "I know what I'm getting into," you said firmly. "I can take care of myself."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and what if you can't? I mean, what if you get sick or something? What if you get hurt?" Her voice softened, just a bit, the worry evident. "Itâs not just about you anymore."
Joelâs jaw clenched, and you could see the conflict in his eyes. He turned to Ellie; his tone more measured. "I get it, Ellie," he said. "But leaving her here⊠leaving her in this place⊠thatâs not an option either."
Ellie threw her hands up. "Great, so itâs a lose-lose situation."
You couldnât help but let out a small, dry laugh. "Pretty much," you said, trying to inject some lightness into the tension-filled room.
There was a beat of silence, the reality of the situation settling over everyone. Joel reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. "Weâll figure it out," he murmured, more to you than anyone else.
Within a short time, Tess arrived, and the group of you prepared to leave the apartment, stepping out into the uncertain world beyond the QZ. The prospect of escaping to a new place, combined with the responsibility of ensuring the safety of both Ellie and your unborn child, loomed over you.
Joel led the way, his eyes scanning the area as you followed, Ellie close behind. The journey ahead was fraught with danger and uncertainty, but for the first time in a long while, you felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for a new beginning.
As you stepped out of the QZ and into the unfamiliar landscape beyond, the weight of your situation pressed heavily on you. The world outside was a mix of desolate ruins and overgrown wilderness, a stark contrast to the relative safety of the quarantine zone. With each step, you could feel the gravity of the journey ahead, not just for yourself, but for your unborn child and Ellie, who now looked up to you as a beacon of hope and guidance.
Joel walked beside you, his presence a constant reassurance in the chaos. He kept a vigilant eye on the surroundings, his hand occasionally reaching out to make sure you were close. Tess, ever practical, moved ahead, scouting the path and ensuring that it was as safe as possible.
Ellie followed behind, her expression a mix of curiosity and concern. The harsh reality of the world outside the QZ was a stark contrast to the relative safety sheâd known, and she looked to you and Joel for guidance and protection.
The landscape seemed to stretch endlessly, with the occasional remnants of civilization scattered among the ruins. The path ahead was uncertain, filled with potential threats and unknown challenges. Yet, with Joelâs hand firmly grasping yours and Tess leading the way, you found a small measure of comfort in the unity of your group.
As you walked, Joel glanced at you occasionally, his gaze softening when he saw the lump forming in your throat.
With each step you took away from the QZ, you felt a mixture of trepidation and hope. The future was uncertain, and the dangers were real, but you were determined to face them head-on, for yourself, for your child, and for the family you were trying to protect.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal
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Please Please Please
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Warnings: None
Authors Note: this isn't what the poll was for dw lmao | also I've been caught out by lando once again đ he's just the best fit for this song
âââââââââââââ
yourusername
đBuenos Aires, Argentina
liked by taylorswift landonorris and 2,349,022 others
yourusername Had a great time opening for #TSTheErasTour in Buenos Aires! Muchas gracias, Argentina! đŠđ·
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user1 so so so pretty đ
user2 I was there đ„°
user3 loml
user4 I LOVE HER SO MUCH
user5 just looked in the mirror and sighed
user6 my favorite outfit from this leg of the tour
taylorswift đ
yourusername đ
user7 I FEEL SO MUCH LIGHTER LIKE A FEATHER WITH YOU OFF MY MIND
user8 that second picture is so adorable Iâm screaming đđđ
user9 IM TALKING NONSENSE
user10 new album when???
user11 Lando Norris in the likes??? đ
user12 wait who is that
user13 an f1 driver đ
user12 whatâs he doing here
user13 idk đ
user14 Y/N RUN QUICK LANDOS HERE
user15 we canât let him get her đ
user16 sheâs so pretty Iâm in love with her đ«¶
ââââââââââââââ
yourusername added to their story
landonorris
đ€©đ€©đ€©đ€©
yourusername
đ€đ€đ€đ€
landonorris
I saw you open for Taylor
in Brazil
your were wonderful
yourusername
Iâm flattered đ„°
landonorris
Iâd be even more flattered if I could take you on a date
yourusername
You usually this confident?
landonorris
No, Iâm actually not
yourusername
Well
Iâd love to go on a date with you Mr Norris
landonorris
đ
thank god that worked
You ever around Monaco?
yourusername
Not usually
But I could be đ
Iâm off next week <3
landonorris
Perfect
See you then
âââââââââââââââ
TWITTER
MESSAGES
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
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liked by landonorris jackantonoff and 4,777,008 others
yourusername thatâs that me espresso âïžđ©”
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user17 rip sharpay evans you wouldâve loved espresso by y/n l/n
user18 itâs actually so good omg
user19 best song ever made fr
user20 love love love
user21 truly that girl
user22 ON REPEAT
user23 I love her more than life
user24 IM WORKING LATE CUS IM A SINGERRRRRR
user25 face card never declines
jackantonoff rly good!
yourusername thanks jacky đ„°
user26 jack x y/n collab when???
user27 Landos back in the likesâŠ
user28 free my girl from the shackles of a man
user29 oh my god is the song about him
user30 they havenât been seen together in a while so I sure hope not đ
user31 song of the year
user32 đ©”đ©”đ©”
âââââââââââââââ
yourusername added to their story
TWITTER
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liked by taylorswift maxfewtrell and 4,000,112 others
yourusername I'm working lateee cuz its my birthdayyy đ
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user33 how to lose a guy in 10 days dress!!! đ
user34 đđđ
user35 that polaroid looks suspiciously like lando
user36 that could legitimately be anyone
user37 of course but unfortunately she's been seen with him recently soâŠ
user38 not landoâŠ
user39 so pretty đ€©
user40 y'all rly hate lando? That mans been so supportive I legit can't not like him
user41 ikr! I'm a proud lando defender. No reason to hate him.
user42 I love them together idc
maxfewtrell happy birthday!
yourusername thanks max đ«¶
user43 still not convinced that's lando
user44 girl.
user45 đ
user46 happy birthday girl!!!
user47 my favorite pop girlie
user48 IM WORKING LATEEEEE
user49 queen đ
user50 I love lando đđđ
âââââââââââââââ
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
đ” Please Please Please - Y/N L/N
liked by landonorris maxverstappen and 9,880,771 others
yourusername I know I have good taste
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user51 hardest of hard launches
user52 I LOVE THEM TOGETHER I DONT CARE
user53 favourite couple đ
user54 gorgeous gorgeous people
user55 LANDOOOOO
user56 lando wasn't even acting in that video that's just how down bad he is
user57 that first pic⊠đ
user58 bring your bf to work day
user59 ...okay maybe I like him đ
user60 wait hes kinda hot đ
user61 my royal couple
maxverstappen is lando gonna be an actor now???
yourusername its a good backup plan if the driving thing doesn't work out
landonorris I think I'll leave the acting to you
maxverstappen that's for the best mate
user62 lmao max
user63 they're so pretty đ„°đ„°đ„°
user64 so it couple core
user65 ATEEEE
landonorris yeah you do đ
yourusername đđ
âââââââââââââââ
landonorris added to their story
user1
Y'all r so cute
âââââââââââ
user2
yeah she is
âââââââââââ
user3
đđđđ
âââââââââââ
user4
I still don't trust you car boy
âââââââââââ
user5
the music video was so good!!!!
âââââââââââ
yourusername
I love you đ
landonorris
love you too đ
âââââââââââ
@casperlikej @evie-119
#scheduled#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 smau#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x female reader#lando norris imagine#lando imagine#lando x reader#lando norris x reader
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Baby Fever Angst
F1 Masterlist
Charles Leclerc Play Pretend - He's Lightning McQueen. You're Elle Woods. But, when Charles misses you, he makes it known that perhaps your career isn't as important as his wishes to start a family Part Two - Lightning McQueen realises he misses Elle Woods. Or, when Charles finds out your goals always had him in mind, he realises he should've done the same
Daniel Ricciardo Bedtime Stories - For the past six years, you've been dreaming of a future with Daniel. Until one silly little interview shatters every illusion Part Two - Daniel made a silly little comment that lost him everything. Over a year later, he tries his hardest to fix his mistakes
Fernando Alonso ~ COMING SOON Toy Cars - Step dad Fernando Part Two
Lewis Hamilton Tantrums - After 10 years together, Lewis keeps pushing back the date on when âforeverâ can start. Realising that forever applies to her job and not their relationship, she makes it clear that sheâs had enough Part Two
Lance Stroll Pocket Money - Since the start of the relationship, fans have been convinced you're only with Lance for his money. When he mentions your future in an interview, they accuse you of trying to baby trap him Part Two - After some time apart, you and Lance realise your love and future mean more than fans' hateful comments
Lando Norris Princess Party - Lando enjoys participating in all night life has to offer, particularly with his best friend. When Y/N falls pregnant after one drunken night, he panics. After all, why should he trade a club party for a princess party? Part Two - After a drunken night with his best friend, Lando ran away from the consequences. Over the next eight months, he's reminded that he made a huge mistakes
Max Verstappen Lullabies - Six months ago, Max walked out of your life after a conversation about your future. When you find out he' ended up in a's dating Kelly - who has a child - you work through your emotions in the best way you know how; revenge music Part Two - Max left without letting you fully explain. Nearly a year later, he realises he made a mistake when he thinks you're moving on
Oscar Piastri Growing Pains - When fans begin commenting about your future plans, Oscar begins to worry that your long-term relationship is preventing you from truly experiencing life Part Two - Oscar thought leaving was the best thing for you, but quickly realised he cannot function without you
#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#formula one imagine#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#f1 masterlist#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo x reader#fernando alonso imagine#fernando alonso x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#lance stroll imagine#lance stroll x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#baby fever angst
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Asking to Sketch Them
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*cough* I forgot this series was a thing I was doing uwu
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DIASOMNIA
Malleus Draconia
"Oh? How bold of you to think you could capture my visage in a mere canvas."
He says with the goofiest smile imaginableïŒââœâïŒ
He's already summoning a chair to sit on
Very experienced with posing so it's a breeze
You have a nice chat about philosophy, gargoyles and culture while you draw him
When you're done he's fangirling internally
Asks if he can commission you to draw a portrait of the both of you tgt
Hangs it up in his room <3
Becomes a regular commissioner
Mostly gargoyles
10/10 honestly nothing bad to say he's lovely
Lilia Vanrouge
"Fufufu, I've been in thousands of portraits over the years, you'll have to try your hardest to really impress me~ No pressure though!"
100% pressure once again
The old bat man will probably be hanging from the ceiling no negotiating
So it's either you draw him upside down or get upside down too
If you choose the second option you best hope no one walks in on you cuz damn wtf
How are you doing that you aren't even using magic???
When you're finished he jumps down and looks and goes
"How nice! Art has truly evolved so much since the last time I had one done~"
Starts showing you some of the portraits he had before like he's showing you baby pics
One of them has him looking like those medieval babies TT
4/10 I can't explain why I'm not giving him a lower score he's just funky
Silver
"No problem. If I fall asleep you can just wake me up, I won't mind."
He doesn't have much experience in posing but he's a natural
He's lookin like a disney princess fr, animals have started gathering
You're having a pleasant chat abou-
Oop he fell asleep
You think about waking him up but like
He looks so peaceful and like he's not even really moving so-
By the time you're done he's probably up and he starts apologizing
Tbh it's Silver so it would've been beautiful whether he was awake or asleep
Bonus points if you include the woodland critters snuggling into him
Human anatomy AND animal anatomy practice!!
9/10 he tried his best and it did turn out well
Sebek Zigvolt
"I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS HUMAN! MY VALUABLE TIME IS SPENT GUARDING AND PROTECTING THE HONOUR OF THE GLORIOUS YOUN-"
once again someone kiss him and shut him up omg
Or actually just show him the Malleus portrait he'll shut up
Yeah you have to do Malleus first if you wanna draw him
Stiff like a ramrod his face looks constipated
Ask him a question about his young master and he forgets he's being drawn in exactly 3 seconds
His face really lights up as he talks about him it's kinda cute
By the time you're done he's probably still talking so interrupt in a speech break
Thinks you did a good job and asks for some advice with art
Then starts trying to buy the malleus portrait off of you
I should've tried harder to not make 80% of his just him talking about the dragon boi but it's really hard cuz he's just him TT
7/10 he's not that bad but your ears are bleeding
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Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst headcanons#twst x reader#malleus draconia#twst malleus#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst diasomnia
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tw: grief, death, illness, and angst - i wrote this in like half an hour and i was really in my feels, so pls excuse me if it's bad
uncle sukuna, who's been in and out of jail, is always seemingly in trouble with the law and couldn't give two shits about it. ever since leaving home and his twin brother behind, he's only lived for himself and himself only. he'd be damned if he lets anyone change that.
he receives a voicemail from his brother one day, telling him he's had a little baby boy called yuuji. jin wants to put everything in the past behind them and would love for his brother to meet his precious son. sukuna only scoffs and deletes the voicemail almost immediately.
it's only when jin texts him a video of yuuji (who he's surprised to see almost looks exactly like him, minus all the tattoos) 8 months later babbling what could be interpreted as "papa", does he falter. the kid's adorable, but sukuna isn't ready to face his brother just yet.
many more months go by, and jin seems to have taken the hint. except he gets sent another video, this time on his birthday. he clicks on the video, unable to resist and its yuuji, wobbling on two legs, clapping his hands, and singing his own version of happy birthday (??). he's gotten so much bigger and looks so much like his father.
the only word sukuna recognises from yuujis incoherent nonsense is 'kuna', and his heart softens. he messages back a "cute." and leaves it at that. jin sees the message and doesn't stop smiling for the rest of the day.
jin messages him again a week later, only this time sukuna's heart drops. kaori's dead, and her funeral's next week. he's only met her twice, but she was good for his brother, and she was always good to him too.
he sees his brother for the first time in years at the funeral. jin's hair is a mess, his face unshaven and sunken in; grief seemed to have aged him 10 more years. sukuna's many things, a bad brother included, but something in him breaks when he sees yuuji screaming in his father's arms, not understanding where his mum's gone.
he doesn't know why, but he walks up to jin and offers to take yuuji instead. the toddler immediately calms down in his hold, now more confused as to why there's a man that looks exactly like his dad but with sharpie all over him. jin breaks down, stammering out a thank you, and excuses himself, leaving sukuna alone with his nephew. he'll hunt down his brother later, but for now, he'll keep the brat occupied so his dad can grieve.
sukuna hears from his dad that jin's fallen ill months later. he's speaks to his brother more often now and has even met up with both him and yuuji a couple of times. but jin's never mentioned being sick. he's been looking worse, for sure, but he just put it down to being a single father to an energetic toddler.
he moves in with them the next week. jin keeps getting worse and even little yuuji's noticed.
sukuna tries his best. he really does. he's not been there for jin previously, but he makes sure he's there now when it matters. it's all new to him, caring for people. he tries to cook the most nutritious meals for jin, making sure they're yuuji friendly too. he makes sure the house is always clean, even though yuuji's making a mess every 10 minutes. he changes diapers (both yuuji's and jin's), bathes them both, and tucks them both into bed. he even reads yuuji a bedtime story just to maintain normacly even though he hasnt read since he was a child.
he checks up on jin, constantly seeing if he's feeling okay and gives him his medicine. he holds onto jin with the utmost care (almost carrying him) when they go to visit kaori's grave or when yuuji insists on both of them coming to the park with him. when jin can't sleep at night due to being in excruciating pain, he's there. by his side and holding him. he's never been this affectionate, but he's also never had a dying brother before.
it's still not enough, though. the last couple of days were the hardest, and even yuuji knew enough to be on his best behaviour.
sukuna silently sobs into his pillow at night, when the whole world's asleep. he's filled with regret and hatred for himself, but he knows it's too late now. he tells his brother he loves him and that he promises to take care of yuuji no matter what. jin only smiles, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and tries to kiss his cheek as a thank you, and i love you too.
jin died with one arm holding yuuji, the other holding sukuna's, and his wife's name on his tongue.
sukuna was left all alone, once again. except this time, he had no brother to give yuuji back to. as he promised jin, the stars as his witness, he'd do anything for yuuji and to keep him safe.
his life was no longer his own. he had his nephew to think about.
© ffsg0jo 2024 â do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.
#đ».sunspell#why did i cry writing this đđ#jjk#jjk writing#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#yuuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jin itadori#itadori jin#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#đ».uncle sukuna au#uncle sukuna
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I am Shorouq, a mother of three children: Qusai, 7 years old, Eileen, 5 years old, and Hisham, who is nearing his second birthday. I lived with my husband Samer in a beautiful home in northern Gaza, where our lives were filled with hope. Every corner of our home held precious memories, from our childrenâs laughter to the happy moments we shared as a family. But over a year ago, everything changed. The dream we built turned into an endless nightmare. We lost everything, and our journey of suffering and displacement began.
On the night of October 10, 2023, after I had put my children to bed, the bombing grew closer. At exactly 1:30 AM, the threat came. We had to leave our home immediately. There was no time to think, đ€ no time to gather anything. We carried our children đ§ and fled into the dark, not knowing where to go, just trying to survive the relentless bombing. Our home, đ mom đ© which was once our safe haven, was partially destroyed and became uninhabitable. Along with it, all the beautiful memories we made were gone. We left with no food, no extra clothes, and none of the basic necessities for our children.
We moved around for two weeks inside Gaza City, being displaced twice during that time, until we finally reached Rafah on October 20, 2023. There, a new chapter of our suffering began. We had no choice but to live in a small tent. âșïž As a mother, the hardest thing was seeing my children hungry and not being able to provide for them. No clean đ§Œ water, no food đ± to sustain them, and the cold đ„¶ wrapping around their small bodies.
My son Qusai has had a heart â„ïž condition since birth, requiring several surgeries. In these circumstances, we canât access the medical đ„ care he needs, not even basic medicine. đ Every time I see him in pain, my heart breaks. How can I, as a mother, not provide safety and treatment for my child?đŠ
My daughter Eileen, only five years old, has been deeply affected by the war. She was once a joyful đ and lively child, but now fear đš has taken over her small face. She no longer laughs like she used to, and she no longer dreams of the future. The war has stolen her childhood.
On October 5, 2023, we were threatened again and forced to flee from Rafah to Deir al-Balah. This was our fifth displacement. We stayed there for two months, but even Deir al-Balah wasnât safe. Once again, we packed our few belongings and headed to the town of Zawaida.
My youngest son, Hisham, who hasnât yet turned two, is suffering from malnutrition. I cannot describe the feeling of looking at my baby, knowing he is hungry and not being able to provide him with the proper food. Prices for basic needs have skyrocketed, with even diapers costing $100. We were also living in constant fear of the polio outbreak, đ· which was declared by the World Health Organization. đ„ This added another layer of terror for us as a family, fearing for our childrenâs health, but thankfully, we managed to get them vaccinated just in time.
For the second year in a row, my children đ§ have not been able to attend school. đ« No education, no clear future. As a mother, I feel helpless, unable to give them the hope they deserve.
We now live in a small tent âșïž where everything is cramped into one tiny space. The bathroom, đœ kitchen, and sleeping đ area are all in one room. The war rages on, and we live between fear, hunger, and the cold.đ„¶
Today, I ask for your help. As a mother, đ§ all I want is to take my children to a safe place, where they can enjoy their childhood without fear or hunger. We need your support, as the cost of travel alone is $5,000đ”per person for me and my husband, and $2,500 đ”for each of our three children, bringing the total to $17,500, đ”just to cover the expenses required by travel companies to get us to safety.
In addition to this, we need ongoing support to start a new life. We need your help to rent a home, continue my son Qusaiâs medical treatment, and enroll my children in school so they can resume their education. My husband and I need the means to stand on our feet again, to rebuild our lives and give our children the future they deserve.
Please support us in this campaign so we can escape this suffering and provide a dignified life for my children, far from the destruction.
Help us give my children a chance at a new life.
Our campaign â
ïžVetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #240 )â
ïž
@90-ghost @heritageposts @ot3 @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @aria-ashryver @tamamita @appsa @ibtisams @soon-palestine @shoroa91 @turtletoria @sar-soor @sayruq @neptunerings @gazavetters @mysharona1987 @plomegranate @northgazaupdates2 @palestinegenocide @taviamoth @killy
#gaza aid#gaza fights for freedom#help palestine#justice for palestine#occupied palestine#palestine#palestine fundraiser#palestine genocide#palestine news#palestine resources#mutual aid#palestine aid#ai digital art#humanitarian aid#palestine gfm#palestine gofundme#all eyes on palestine#verified#vetted campaign#i stand with palestine#palestine đ#save đ#free đ#gaza đ#free palestine đ”đž#i stand with palestine đ”đž#free gaza đ”đž#from the river to the sea đ”đž#save palestine đ”đž#don't stop talking about palestine đ”đž
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Tim Drake deserves a vacation from WE, honestly i have no idea about business, but i don't think 95% of the fandom has any idea of what a CEO does either so it's okay. after almost 2 years as the CEO of WE, Tim can finally say that the company is at a point where there's nothing he needs to do and it will still thrive, so he finally decides to take a vacation, and since Bruce still hasn't moved a single step to return as CEO no matter how many times Tim implied, if not outright told him to take back the position, he decides to kill two birds with one stone and make Bruce take the position back, by publicly spending the biggest amount possible in this vacation.
But that's where the first issue appears, despite being rich since he was born, Tim never spent that much money needlessly, Brucie used to spend money on the models he was dating before he became known as a single father, but there's no way that Tim could trust some random models, and he has a boyfriend, so that's out.
But he does have very handsome/beautiful friends that can and have followed him to hell, so surely they wouldn't mind fake dating him and his bf, and who doesn't like spending money, so he called Kon, Bart and Cass to meet with Bernard and he explained his plan, they accepted it way easier than Tim thought and so the vacation began, Tim doubted Bruce last more than a day before taking the company back once the whole world saw Tim Drake on a vacation spending thousands of dollars on his 'harem'.
Two months later the plan failed successfully.
first things first, the vacation was great and it only took Tim 3 weeks before he realized he never told the others that the polycule was fake so they went in this vacation thinking that Tim just decided they should all date and didn't even argue because they're used to Tim being right about pretty much anything, the hardest sell was Bernard and even then it was really fast for him to accept once he saw them and when he saw how much they loved Tim, so by the end Tim was well rested and gained two boyfriends and a girlfriend.
Second thing, all of Tim's partners have rock solid morals*, so when Tim said he wanted them to spend thousands of dollars they all assumed Tim was offering to donate for their charities of choice, so by the end of the vacation Tim donated millions to charities, founded at least 10 new charities, began a 5-year plan to end world hunger, and was awarded a nobel Peace prize.
Third thing, Bruce did indeed try to take over two days into Tim's vacation, the board all laughed as if Brucie had said a funny joke, he played it off but Lucius called Alfred later, Bruce then realized that Tim is too loved by Gotham and WE for him to justify taking the company from him, besides that Tim made sure that the company was safe from takeover and bribes, so even if he wanted to there's no way for Bruce to buy the board members, the final nail on his coffin was that Alfred grounded him once he heard from Lucius, Bruce tried to argue that he was too old to be grounded so he was grounded for twice as long.
In the end despite still being CEO, Tim was happy and well rested, even if he's surprised that Bruce genuinely didn't want to be CEO anymore, he thought for sure Bruce would ask him for the position back.
meanwhile Bruce spent the entire 2 months he was grounded for playing mental 3d chess to plan on how to get the company back, but he didn't even consider asking Tim to be CEO again, so he just brooded the whole time.
Absolutely fabulous. My favorite part is how YJ doesn't even question Tim being all like, "Yeah. We should all date for one of my plans."
They heard that and figured dating each other and Bernard is probably in their best interests since Tim declared it so. Obviously. This is Tim.
They are also not opposed to it either. Again. This is Tim. They may not yet be sold on Bernard, but Tim's reassured them it's fine (Tim was trying to tell them that Bernard is okay with the fake dating and he's sure they would get along great). [It also doesn't help that Tim's reasonings were: "You're all very attractive and I trust you"]
The best part is that Tim reassured them five separate times that they do not have to go through with it. YJ and Bernard thought he was just trying to make sure everyone was on board with trying to date each other. Tim just didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable fake dating.
I would absolutely love to see how this goes down.
Bart, Kon, Cassie, and Bernard are all flirting with each other and Tim. Tim, meanwhile, is sitting there all like, "Wow! They are acting so well! I'm so glad I can count on my friends (and boyfriend)!"
He's an idiot (affectionate).
He's also an idiot cause they've had many many discussions on boundaries and such with him (they also had a few without him due to Tim being the original tie between YJ and Bernard).
The best part would be if Bernard and the others figure it out before Tim. This thus turns into everyone else trying woo Tim into the concept. Bernard, as the official boyfriend, leads the charge. They are also very very careful to check what Tim thinks about polyamory and his comfort levels.
Anyways, let's cover the other sections (I got a bit distracted).
I have no clue what a CEO does but, in my biased opinion, Tim definitely does way more than he's required to. All he needs to do is go to a few meetings, review paperwork, and make decisions regarding the direction of the company/investors. He loves the R&D and charity (not sure the official name) departments too much, though.
He does get involved in other departments as well. It's not his favorite task, but Tim reviews employee contracts when they renew and employee benefits to ensure employees are getting well-above what's considered "fair" or "legal" (4 month parental leave, paid guaranteed lunch breaks, Rogue insurance coverage, double national requirements for sicktime [this is Gotham], medical bills assistance, daycare options, etc). This is why WE loves him.
Tim doesn't want to work as a CEO, but he does love seeing how much he can help others through his civilian work (and learning that he doesn't need to be Robin to save people).
Bruce was laughed out of the office, and Mr. Fox (I love him so much. He deserves all of my respect) was justified in ratting him out to Alfred.
Maybe when Tim returns the two of them start working together so Bruce is more involved with his company (behind the scenes but not in a way that steps on Tim's toes or undermines his authority).
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Wolverine x reader
Uh, yeah i know its been like two years LOL. Literately after posting my last fanfic my dog died of cancer. Got like super depressed lmao.. anyways i watched the new movie and i creamed my pants so i had to write the absolute worst fanfic ever. So like this is a warning, its been two years since ive touched my computer and my skills aren't that good anymore.
summary: going to the bar undercover with the man you hate the most had a twisted turn, not expecting to get shot or telling him your feelings.
warnings: cussing, bad writing, random character death, bad writing, not proof read, and this is really long for no reason..
You didnât quite understand why you were being dragged along with this so called âmissionâ
It was just one bad dude who robbed a place, so why were you at a damn bar with the person you hate the most. Everyone was aware of this. You two couldnât be in the same room together without an argument that almost leads to a fight. So why are you here?
So sitting on the bar stool with a glass of water in your hand, a skirt you were wearing too short and a top that left the mind to wonder. What made the whole situation worse was that your worst enemy was sitting next to you, the wolverine aka Logan Howlett.
You knew he was enjoying this by the way he was ordering shot by shot, it was disgustingly attractive the way the man could pour down the hardest liquor down his throat. Rolling your eyes, you focus back on the bartender, watching him make drinks and showing off to the drunken girlfriends or wives. Obviously ignoring the wicked glares he received from their partners sitting next to them.
âHey, bartender.â you hear Logan call out. âI need something a little harder than this.â
âNothing for the beautiful lady sitting next to you?â the man behind the counter smirks as he poured a drink for another customer. Totally ignoring Logan's request.
A soft polite smile sits on your face while trying to stuff down the unpleasant feeling you got from the bartender. âOnly if it's on the house.â
âFor you?â he smiles, âyou can have whatever you like.â
Your eyes crinkle from disgust but to the bartender it was from joy. âOh, you know how to touch a woman's heart.â
You hear Logan scoff while feeling his dark eyes on you. Itâs been 10 minutes since you two have been here and you're already getting underneath his skin.
âSomething wrong Logan?â you call him out, turning to face him instead of the creep you call bartender.
Logan rolls his eyes as he tosses his head back and downs his shot. âShow a little boob and wear a tiny skirt, and you get anything you want.âÂ
âYeah, I would say you should try it. But you donât have much to show..â
âIs that how you got here, getting passed around the team?â
 âYup,â you say with a sarcastic smile on your face while pretending to count to the number 8 on your fingers. âJust gotta get into your pants and then I get my reward.â
Logan looks at you with a face of disgust not sure if you were messing with him or not. âExcuse me?â
Just as soon as you open your mouth to make a smartass comment. A sudden yell echoes across the room then the sound of wood breaking. Both you and Logan twist around to see the scene. There you see the âbad guyâ you guys were supposed to be after. He had just brutally smashed someone's head into the table, successfully breaking the table in half.
âThat a murder.â the words fall from your lips when you see the broken piece of the table
through the poor soul's head.
âShut the fuck up you fucking clown. That's our guy.â Logan responded in a whisper. But when he didn't hear a snotty response he twisted his head to look at you, only to find your seat empty. Instead he saw you walking towards the scene, causing a deep growl to fall from his lips. Finding himself to chase after you.
Typically, you would leave this stuff for logan. But the guy was instantly on the run. And you didnât really have a choice but to chase after him. âHey excuse me!â You yell at the bad guy, instantly frowning as you see the blood cover his hands and shirt.âwhere do you think you're going, dude? Breaking that table and killing that poor guy? What an asshole!â
The bad guy looked at you, his brows furrowing. His body filled with rage. Who do you think he is and calling him âdudeâ. If you were here to stop him, then so be it. But you were just a girl, and women are weak. You were easy to dispose of. âListen lilâ lady. I'll give you a quick death if you leave me alone.â
âI donât think so, I need you to come with me anyways.â
The man sighs as he hears the words fall from your lips, âHow annoying.â he thought.
âHey, donât you fucking run off on me like that.â You hear Logan say as he walks up next to you. Making you roll your eyes and turn your head to face him.Â
It was so quick to happen you couldnât even process it, the only thing that processed that very moment was the ear ringing bang that echoed through the air. Then Logan shouting your name. You remember seeing him running away, his face looking angry. It felt like you were standing there for hours, like you were zoning out. Then you remembered him, the guy you were supposed to get. But as soon as you took that first step, that's when you felt it. Burning pain spreads through your body making you want to cry out. Your hand instinctively reaches out to where you feel the pain, not expecting your hand to be bloodied when you pull it back to inspect it.Â
You got shot.Â
Now you remember why you guys were supposed to basically kidnap this guy, he was a mutant. His abilities were dangerous. The way he fought was with guns and his bullets being made by his blood, it's how he killed people. It was poisonous.
Soft curses leave your lips as you press your hand tight against your wound, but your blood was still pooling out. You felt weak, like you could barely stand and keep your eyes open. You felt as if you were gonna drop dead at any given moment. But you had to help Logan, you two were supposed to do this together.Â
The first step you took, you felt your knee give out. Sending your whole body to the ground, but the impact never came. Instead you feel a strong pair of arms lift up your weak body, your eyes see logan. But you refuse to believe it was him. He wouldnât do this. Why was your body seeing things?
âYou idiot! Why did you run off and chase after him like that? You know you donât have any special abilities to protect you if he attacked you, so why?â He yelled, Logan was truthfully more scared and worried than angry. He was running as fast as he could to the jet to get you medical aid. But he only had so much time to spare before your body was consumed by the poison.
âWhat happened?â your voice was soft when you asked.
âYou were shot in your chest! I can see the huge fucking hole!â
âI can feel it.â Even though you were basically dying, you couldnât help but make a simple joke. âYâknow, even though youâre a total dick. You have good arm muscles. I like the way they can hold me so tightly. I feel like a princess.â you smile âIf it takes getting shot and dying for you to
care, then maybe i should get shot more often.â
Logan frowns as he hears your comment, still rushing to get you to the jet as fast as possible. âYouâre so fucking stupid, youâre not dying. If you wanted me to hold you in my arms then all you had to do was ask bub.âÂ
A weight of relief went off his soldiers once he saw the jet, he was right there. But when he looked at you, he saw that your hand was pressed against his chest and your eyes were on him. Barely opened. âHey, stay with me.â he comments. âKeep your eyes open, please. We're almost there!â
Your eyes scrunch together as you see his lips move but no words come out, it didnât help much that you were fading in and out of consciousness. Growing up, you were told not to be afraid of dying because you could die at any given time. Despite all the missions youâve been on and how many times you were knocking on death's door. You were never afraid. But today was different, why were you so afraid? Maybe it was because you're dying pathetically, or the fact that you're in the arms of a man youâve fallen in love with.
âIâm sorry.â you tell him, your voice soft and weak. Blood drips from your lips and down your chin. Your hand grabbing his shirt. Everything was going by so fast. In the middle of a deep silence, you look up into Logans eyes, knowing these might be your last moments together. Pain rushes through your body and words fly out of your mouth before your brain can catch up, and youâre saying what youâve always wanted to say. âI love you.â
He freezes, shocked at your words. He looks down at you, taking in your face, and the pained look on it. You can see his brain racing like a speeding train, and his breath catches in his throat. âYouâre an idiot. Why did you wait till this point?â
âI- I thought I would have more time.â was all you managed to say before shutting your eyes.
Finally, Logan runs up the rail of the jet and sets you on the cot. Watching the aids surround you, immediately taking quick action. With the flight there and taking you into emergency surgery. They finally came up to Logan, who fell asleep in the infirmary's waiting room. Telling him that you were okay and would make a good recovery.
Without wasting a single second, Logan rushed to your room. His heart dropped once he saw your frail, weak body. Connecting to different types of wires and IVs. He felt terrible, guilt consumed his body as thoughts raked his mind, he could've prevented all of this, all of your pain. Only if he was faster.
Logan found himself staring at your body, wanting to reach out and take your hand. He pulled up the chair by your bed and sat down, his eyes switching from your resting body to the monitor. Finally mustering the courage to take hold of your hand. âIâm sorry that I wasnât quick enough, I shouldâve been the one. But I was so fucking slow, in my own god damn bloody mind.And Iâm sorry I didnât tell you that I love you back, I was just so scared. Scared that if I told you, I would never get to tell you so again. I was so fucking selfish. But holy shit, I'm so in love with you. It hurts so much. But I'll make sure to tell you every single chance I get. I love you.â
âYou better get started.â you say with a smile on your face.Â
Logan looks at you in a state of shock, not expecting you to be awake. Without holding back, he basically launches himself onto you. Wrapping his arms around your weak figure, wanting to hold you tight but being so gentle with you. âYouâre okayâ he breathes out of relief, âYouâre an idiot, but youâre okay.â
âI love you too by the way.â The smile on your face was wide, you were in so much pain. But you were so happy. Never in your life did you think you would be here, but here you are. In the arms of the man youâve pretended to hate for so long.
âOh shut your pretty little mouth.â Was all he said before pressing his soft warm lips against yours.Â
If someone had asked you what it was like getting shot, you would probably tell them it hurt really fucking bad and wouldnât recommend it. But if they asked you on a personal level. You would tell them that you would do it again if it meant that you got to see Logan care for you. But it still hurt like a fucking bitch.
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LEE KNOW X FEM READER
ENEMIES TO ???
cw: SMUT. MINORS DNI !!! hair pulling, marking, name calling (slut etc), dominant lee know kinda. thatâs about it
a/n: this has been in my drafts for about 9 months and iâve finally finished it lmao. itâs still kinda mid hehe
âPleaseee come tonight y/n, the boys havenât seen you in ages and they really miss you!â Felix whines with an over exaggerated pout on his lips. He knew his doe eyes have such an affect on you and he used it to his advantage way too often, but they were NOT getting the better of you this time..
âFelix, Iâve already said.. NO! I would rather drag my bare pussy lips across burning hot concrete than spend 10 minutes in Lee Knowâs presence.â
Felix looks absolutely repulsed at your statement, and you shoot him a sarcastic smile. âAre you satisfied with that answer?â
Felix shakes his head, still with a look of pure disgust on his face.
âPleaseeee y/nnn? Iâll buy you that hoodie you really want?â
âUrgh fine, but I hope you know that Iâm not even looking at him, let alone speaking to him!â you say, rolling your eyes and shuffling towards your room to get dressed.
âI hope you know how much I love you doing this?â You shout at felix as you leave the room.
âLove you too bestie.â
âUrgh.â
ââ
You and Felix arrive at the dorms with a bottle of gin in one hand and sleep over bag in the other.
âY/N!â Hyunjin shouts at the sight of you, clearly already intoxicated. He practically jumps off the sofa and makes his way to you, making grabby hands and you couldnât help but smile fondly.
âHi Hyunjinnie!â You hugged him tightly and over his shoulder you saw Lee know looking your way. You had tried your hardest to avoid Lee Know for the longest time, so seeing him look at you had you feeling sick. You quickly close your eyes again and lean further into the hug, smiling fondly into Hyunjinâs shoulder, trying to ignore the burn on your skin from the feeling of his eyes on you.
âItâs been tooooo longâ Hyunjin sings down your ear, swaying you both side to side and you almost lose your balance.
âI knowwwwwâ You sang back. Even though you were 100% sober and he certainly wasnât, his energy had always been contagious. He pulls away from the embrace and grabs your hand, pulling you towards the living room.
âYou want a drink y/n?â Felix calls from the kitchen.
âYes please!â you shout back.
âIâll help you Lixâ Lee know says, lifting himself off the couch and into the kitchen. You make your way over to the sofa where the rest of the boys were, making yourself comfortable next to Han. The familiar scent of his cologne making you feel more at ease. You and Han had been friends for quite a few years. You both met through Felix, whoâd youâd been friends with since primary school and youâd been inseparable ever since.
âSo⊠on a scale from one to 10, how awkward are you feeling being within a 5 mile radius of Mr Lee Know, your arch nemesis?â Han jokes, miming a mic in your direction and you stare at him deadpan, narrowing your eyes and he lets out a slight chuckle at your wordless reply.
âHere.â You and Han look up to see Lee Know holding a drink in his hand, offering it in your direction. His face shows no sign of emotion and you were trying to work out why.
âWhat have you done to it?â You bark, eyes narrowing as you scan his face for any cracks in his stand-offish demeanour but again, nothing.
âI havenât done anything to it.â He leans in closer to you, your faces now at the same height. âDo you want it or not?â He asked, raising his eyebrows in a daring manner. You snatch the drink from his hand and he makes himself comfortable next to you, your knees barely touching. He was clearly challenging you. Prick. You shoot a panicked glance at Han who only makes things worse by holding in a laugh at your discomfort and you audibly sigh. You didnât want to make a scene and sit elsewhere but you also didnât want to have to sit next to HIM.
âCorrection, 5 millimetre radiusâ Han whispers, snickering under his breath.
âYouâre dead to meâ you reply in a hushed voice.
âOkayyyy everyoneeeâ Changbin practically shouted. âSit in a circle. We are playing truth or dareeee!â
âNo! No!â Chan interrupts, shaking his head. âDo you not remember how it ended last time?â
âYeah, well, thereâs no fire pit this time CHAN!â Jeongin bites back at his comment, clearly eager to play and Chans eyes widen at the loss of honourifics.
âOkay, oldest goes first. Channie hyung, truth or dare?â Hyunjin says, raising his eyebrows.
âNope, Iâm not playing. Iâm not encouraging this type of behaviour, not after last time. Itâs only going to end in tears again. Literallyâ Chan refuses, grabbing his drink and taking a swig.
âUrgh fine⊠Leeee Knowwwâ Han pipes up. âTruth or dare?â
âDareâ.
Han looks at you with a mischievous look on his face and oh god, you knew where this is going. You widen your eyes and furiously shake your head but he turns back to look at Lee Know with a smirk on his face. âI dare you⊠to make out with y/nâ.
The room fell silent. So silent you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. You all sit in uncomfortable silent for a few moments until you canât take it anymore.
âIâm getting another drinkâ you stutter as you haul yourself up off the floor and into the kitchen.
âAre you fucking stupid?!â you faintly hear Seungmin whisper to Han as you walk towards the kitchen. As you pour yourself another drink, you canât stop replaying Hanâs dare. You shake your head, trying to rid the words from your mind. Suddenly you hear footsteps approaching.
âYou donât want a kiss then?â You hear from behind you and you drop your head in annoyance. You turn round to see a smirking Lee Know and you scowl in displeasure at his presence.
âWhy canât you just leave me alone?!â you raise your voice slightly but not loud enough to bring attention from the others.
âBecause I like annoying you. Plus.. youâre so sexy when youâre madâ Lee Know commented, stepping closer to you and looking you up and down, chuckling.
âShut upâ you roll your eyes, attempting to sound threatening, but sounding like a nervous child instead. Your face burns in embarrassment and shyness at Lee Knows comment.
âWhy do you even hate me anyway?â
closer
âBecause youâre a dickhead who is so stuck up his own ass that youâre a burden to be around. You try and manipulate everyone around you so you get your own way.â
closer
âYou might think you can control the boys Lee Know but you canât control me.â At this point, Lee Know was only inches away from you and you felt your heartbeat getting faster and faster as the gap between you both grew closer. His arms find your waist and your breathing hitches in your throat. Every fibre of your being is screaming at you to tell him to get off you. But⊠you didnât want him to. Why?
âNo?â He tilts his head as his eyes boar into you. âI think youâd be quite an easy girl to control y/nâ He smirks and your eyes widen at his suggestive comment, your cheeks burning crimson. Suddenly, you feel a hand run up your back and a harsh tug on your hair causes your head to jolt upwards. You let out an involuntary moan and Lee Know leans in so close to you, you can feel his breath on your neck that sends shivers up your spine.
âSee⊠Easyâ He chuckles down your ear.
âFuck youâ you spit out, although you couldnât quite hide the slight moan that came from your throat. Every part of your being wanted to push him off, rush over to Han and slap him as hard as humanly possible. But at the same time, you couldnât deny how badly you wanted him. Why though? Why all of a sudden did you want him so bad?
âI still havenât done my dare yet doll..â You hear him tease and your brain is screaming at you that you hate him! You despise him with every cell of your being! butâŠ
âPlease..â You speak without thinking and your breath gets caught in your throat at the realisation of what you had just said.
âPlease what doll?â he whispers into your ear and your head was spinning. You whine in response, too confused about the situation to form a coherent sentence. What was happening to you? You absolutely werenât sure and you were convinced you were dreaming.
âJust..â You mewl. Even you didnât know what you were begging for but your mind was long gone, revelling in the feeling of your hair firm in his hand. âPleaseâ.
You hear Lee Know chuckle above you and soon enough he is leaning into you, pressing wet kisses all up your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot. You were a whimpering mess and Lee Know was clearly proud of the state heâd put you in, watching your eyes begin to roll back in your head. He makes his way from your neck up along your jaw, releasing the grip on your hair and instead hooking his finger under the shoulder strap of your dress.
âWhatâs happening?â you say, not necessarily directing the question at Lee Know, rather just speaking out loud. âYou hate me?â. You utter as your eyebrows furrow and a slight frown becomes apparent on your face.
âI really donât y/nâŠâ Lee Know replied, sincerity coating his words. âAnd I donât think you hate me anywhere near as much as you let onâ
Itâs funny because you thought you did. You thought he was the bane of your existence, a thorn in your side, a self obsessed prick. But right now, you realise.. maybe it was just a facade. If you were being honest with yourself, you had forgotten why you âdespisedâ him in the first place.
âKiss me?â you blurt out, surprising yourself with your confident tone. You see a smile creep over Lee Knowâs face and he presses a long, gentle but firm kiss onto your lips. He goes to pull away but you deepen the kiss, grabbing hold of the back of his neck with one hand and pulling him closer with your other.
Lee Knows hands began to roam your waist and back, his hands never settling, as if he wanted to feel all of you all at once. You moan at his touch and he takes that as a sign to reach under your dress to gently grope your ass.
âWant you..â you say breathlessly. âNow..â
Lee Know steps back to look at you, your face flushed and desperate eyes roaming his beautiful features. He breathes a sigh of relief, as if heâs been waiting for those words to leave your mouth for a long time.
âSay it again dollâ He speaks softly but sensually, as if asking for official confirmation.
âI want you Lee Know..ple-â before you even get to finish your sentence, youâre being dragged out of the kitchen and into one of the bedrooms in the dorm.
He quickly threw you onto the bed in a second and Lee Know swiftly makes his way over the top of your figure.
âGod, the things Iâve been wanting to do to youâ He says as he looks you up and down, taking in all of you. âWanted to ruin you for so long.â He emphasises his statement by forcefully yanking up your dress, your lace panties now on full display. You throw your head back in anticipation of whatâs to come. âLook at me dollâ. Lee Know orders and you instantly obey, your eyes full of desperation.
âPlease touch me, pleaseâ You beg and you didnât have to ask him twice. Instantly, his fingers begin to trace the shapes of your legs, starting from your calf and then up towards your knee. You let out a sigh of relief at the minimal sensation but soon, his lips began softly kissing the bend underneath your knee and you nearly melt into the bed below you. He trailed kisses upwards onto your thigh as you let out breathless moans. You hear him snigger at your reaction and with that, he begins to suck a red mark onto your leg. You wince at the sudden pain but couldnât deny the shockwaves it sent straight to your clit.
âLee Know..â You gasp out as you throw your head back into the pillows. You hear him hum in approval at your response and his thumb finds your clit, rubbing gentle circles over your sensitive bud. You couldnât stop the string of moans flooding out your mouth from finally receiving some form of attention on your desperate pussy.
âThat feel good baby girl?â Lee Know chuckles, already knowing the answer.
âYes! M- more.. please. Want moreâ You beg between shaky breaths.
âSuch a greedy girlâ he says, as he makes his way up to your level, your faces now inches apart. He lifts two fingers, looking down at you with lust filled eyes.
âSuckâ He orders and you comply, sucking his fingers enthusiastically, moaning at his dominant tone. âGood girl.â He says. He let his fingers linger in your mouth for a moment, taking in the beautiful sight underneath him. Soon, he begins trailing his fingers down and across your clit towards your entrance. He pushes them into you slowly and you instantly let out a loud moan at the intrusion.
âSo fucking wet already. Dirty girlâ. He smirks.
You rock you hips up and down in an attempt to push Lee Knows fingers deeper inside of you. He curls his fingers, rubbing against your sweet spot and you feel euphoric, arching your back and whining desperately. You wanted him, you needed him.
âGod y/n, you drive me fucking crazyâ He says, impatiently unzipping his trousers and freeing himself of the confines of his jeans and boxers. You look down to ogle him, practically drooling upon seeing his now, very hard cock. For a moment, you wondered if it would even fit inside you.
âAre you sure you wanna do this y/n?â Lee Know asks warily.
âYes! Please fuck me oh my god I need you.â You knew how desperate you sounded but you didnât care, all you cared about right now was Lee Know fucking you so rough you saw stars. He visibly relaxed again and smiled at your enthusiastic consent.
âGod, such an impatient slutâ He scoffs and begins rubbing the tip of his cock up and down your entrance. You push your hips down in desperation and he thrusts into you harshly, bottoming out straight away inside you and be lets out a long drawn out âFuckkkkâ.
Your eyes roll back into your head and you reciprocate his moans with your own. Once heâs given you time to adjust, he begins to build up speed, your body jolting upwards with each harsh thrust into you.
âOh FUCK!â You shout out, forgetting you had company just a few rooms away. Youâre scrunching your eyes closed and gasping every time his dick hits your sweet spot, coupled with pleas that never stop leaving your mouth. Lee Know leans down to cup your cheek with his hand and kisses you so deeply you thought you were ascending into heaven. You both moan into the kiss and you couldnât ignore the feeling of how amazing this felt. Lee Know grunts out, his fingertips trailing from your cheek down your neck and towards your tits. He teasingly twists them and you whine in response and shiver as goosebumps form all over your body. He lifts himself upright to take in your entire figure, adoration filling his eyes. âYouâre so fucking beautiful y/n, I cant get enough of you.â He grunts as he thrusts into you harder and rougher, his pace soon beginning to falter as his orgasm drew closer, as did yours. His fingers return to your clit, rubbing circles there and whines were flooding out of your mouth.
ââM- close Lee Know ah!â Your body begins to jolt and you feel yourself right on the edge of your climax.
âCum with me baby, please- fuck-â Lee Know barely had time to finish his sentence before he was filling your pussy with his seed, grunting animalistic moans that pushed you over the edge. Your eyes roll back at the feeling of ecstasy and Lee Know takes in the image of you in your euphoric state, stunned by how breathtaking you looked.
He lay on top of you as you both caught your breath and he kisses your forehead, brushing the stray strands of hair out of your face.
âGuys are you in here? Channie hyung is abou- OH MY GODâ Han nearly screams as Lee Know jumps off of you, attempting to wrap the duvet around both of your naked forms. You never actually saw Hans face, assuming he bolted out the room at the unexpected scene in front of him. Both you and Lee Know couldnât hold back your laughter and you hear him mumble from outside the door âUm.. just.. text me what pizza you both want..â
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